Topic 2.

TWO WAYS IN WHICH WE PERCEIVE OURSELVES

Learning Objectives
At the end of this lesson, you are expected to:

A. Identify the different concepts about self;

B. Give examples of negatives thoughts that most likely to ruin plans;
C. Explain how negative thoughts may be turned into positive motivations

Presentation of Content

POSITIVE SELF-CONCEPT:

People with positive self-concept believe in themselves are confident about their ability to deal with problems,
make decisions and feel equal with others, have respect for themselves and expect it from others. These are
the people who are realistic in the assessment of themselves and can admit to a wide range of feelings,
behaviours and needs.

NEGATIVE SELF-CONCEPT:

These are the people who see themselves as failures and have negative, pessimistic image of themselves who
begin to act their part. These negative feelings feed on themselves and become a downward spiral, gradually
encompassing all of the people’s thoughts, actions and relationships. People with negative self-concept tend
to complain constantly and find it difficult to accept criticisms.

ACTIVITY 1

The Masks We Wear

People often compare themselves to others. They also wear different

masks put on different faces, depending in the particular norms of the
social situation they are in. Masks provide a comforting way for them to
hide their true selves and fit in and they serve as a protective barrier to
avoid getting hurt. Teenagers, in particular, often go through tumultuous
times and experience a roller coast of emotions, leaving them more
vulnerable to loss of identity. This activity allows participants to analyse, demonstrate, and explore the
different ways they act around the important people in their lives.

Materials
 Paper plates (at least 3 for each person)
 Magazines or newspapers
 Pencils or pens, coloured markers/felt pens
 Optional: Craft (paddle pop) sticks, glue or tape

Procedure
1. Why do people wear masks?
2. Prepare the materials and decorate three masks, with each mask representing how you present
yourself most often.
3. Discuss your masks and how you change from day to day and situation to situation

Application:

1. Which mask do you feel most comfortable in?

2. Which mask would you like to get rid of?
3. How will you use what you have learned today?
 Feedback

1. Are you challenged to wear mask in different situations? Why?

2. Do you live in an environment that requires changes of masks when need arises? Why?

Topic 3. ASPECTS OF SELF-CONCEPT

Learning Objectives
 At the end of this lesson, you are expected to:

A. Identify the different aspects of self-concept;

B. Give examples of cognitive aspects which are important in the intellectual development;
C. Explain how behavioural aspects may interfere with the cognitive development

Presentation of Content

1. COGNITIVE ASPECT: SELF SCHEMA

Self-schemas are cognitive generalizations about the self, derived from past experience, that organize and
guide the processing of self related information.

2. AFFECTIVE/EVALUATIVE ASPECT: SEL-ESTEEM

The self-esteem reflects the perceived the difference between an individual’s actual self-concept (who I think I
really am) and some ideal self-image (who I would really like to be).

3. BEHAVIORAL ASPECT: SELF PERCEPTION

In Darn Bem (1972) influential self-perception theory reflects, we observe our behaviour and our situation in
which it took place make attributions about why the behaviour occurred and draw conclusions about our won
characteristic and disposition. In other words, we understand ourselves the same way we perceive and
understand others.

ACTIVITY

Today I Choose….

Everything we do in life is a choice. Every choice has a consequence. The consequence can be positive or
negative. Young people often find it more difficult to think about the ramifications of their decisions. The
pressures and uncertainties during times of trouble can lead to poor choices. This activity focuses on the
importance of thinking through and planning to help promote healthy decision making.

Procedure
Think of a choice/s you make every day.

NOTE: THESE ARE LONG-TERM CHOICES

What are the 5 most important decisions in a person’s life?
 Choose to Love Yourself.
 Choose the Right Friends.
 Choose the Right Partner.
 Choose a Career You Love.
 Choose to Get Excited Every Day.
 Read a Book every day.
 Choose to Exercise every day.
 Choose to Eat Healthily.

DAILY DECISIONS. Examples of Decision-Making in Different Scenarios

 Deciding what to wear.
 Deciding what to eat for lunch.
 Choosing which book to read.
 Deciding what task to do next
 Choosing to compete in an online game tournament during math class
 Deciding to attend classes amidst weak internet
 Cooking own food or ordering online
 Other DECISION you opt to do

Discussion Questions
 Can you name a few difficult situations in which making a good choice may be a struggle for many
people today?
 Why do you think these situations are so difficult?
 How would you advise someone to handle these difficult situations?
 How will you use what you have learned today?

COMPONENTS OF SELF-CONCEPT

BODY IMAGE

SELF- ROLE
SELF-ESTEEM
CONCEPT PERFORMANCE

PERSONAL
IDENTITY

SELF-IDENTITY

A sense of personal identity is what sets one person apart as a unique individual that includes a person’s
name, gender ethnic identity, family status, occupation and roles. One’s personal identity begins to develop
during childhood and is constantly reinforced and modified throughout life.

BODY IMAGE

Body image is an attitude about one’s physical attributes and characteristics, appearance and performance. It
is dynamic because any change in the body structure or function, including the normal changes of growth and
development can affect it.

In simple terms, body image is:

“…the perception that a person has of their physical self and the thoughts and feelings that result from that
perception.” (National Eating Disorders Collaboration)

As this definition shows, body image isn’t just one unidimensional construct. It’s made up of four aspects:

1. Perceptual body image: how you see your body

2. Affective body image: how you feel about your body
3. Cognitive body image: how you think about your body
4. Behavioral body image: the way you behave as a result of your perceptual, affective, and cognitive
body image (NEDC, 2017)
When your body image is positive, you are able to accept, appreciate, and respect your body. You won’t
necessarily avoid feeling any insecurities or think your body is perfect, but you will be able to acknowledge any
insecurities for what they are and believe that your body is perfect for you.

SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem if the judgement of personal performance compared with the self-ideal. It is derived from a sense
of receiving and giving love and being respected by others.

Self-esteem refers to a person's beliefs about their own worth and value. It also has to do with the feelings
people experience that follow from their sense of worthiness or unworthiness. Self-esteem is important
because it heavily influences people's choices and decisions. In other words, self-esteem serves a motivational
function by making it more or less likely that people will take care of themselves and explore their full
potential. People with high self-esteem are also people who are motivated to take care of themselves and to
persistently strive towards the fulfilment of personal goals and aspirations. People with lower self-esteem
don't tend to regard themselves as worthy of happy outcomes or capable of achieving them and so tend to let
important things slide and to be less persistent and resilient in terms of overcoming adversity. They may have
the same kinds of goals as people with higher self-esteem, but they are generally less motivated to pursue
them to their conclusion.

COMPONENTS OF SELF-ESTEEM

Self-confidence (feeling of security)

This is the foundation of self-esteem. If we feel secure with our family, if we feel loved and our
needs are met, our self-esteem develops. That’s when we try to take our place and dare to try
new things and new experiences. For example, when we learn to walk, we fall down the first few
times, but with encouragement, we develop our confidence and try again!

Identity
This is the knowledge we have of ourselves. By experimenting, learning, and getting feedback
from the people around us, we come to identify our characteristics, abilities, needs, and feelings.
Identity can be divided into several parts: including physical (the representation that each person
has of their own body) and social (how I come into contact with other people, the groups I
associate with, my economic situation, my place as a student, worker, teen, how I act with my
girlfriend or boyfriend, which sex attracts me, etc.).

Feeling of belonging
We all belong to several groups: family, friends, school, sports team, etc. We also define
ourselves by belonging to these groups, by the relationships we have with other people and the
experiences we have in these groups: feeling like part of a group, feeling solidarity, seeking out
the other group members, communicating well, sharing, etc. The various groups we belong to
allow us to feel understood and know that there are people who are like us.

Feeling of competence
To feel competent, we need to have different experiences, succeed and fail, and learn new
things. The feeling of competence is related to motivation: a person is motivated when they face
challenges that they are able to meet. Success results in a feeling of efficacy and pride that
promotes self-esteem and pushes the person to accept new challenges.

Self-esteem is not carved in stone. It changes and stabilizes based on the people we meet and
our life experiences. Although it can be a challenge during adolescence, one thing is certain: the
more different situations we face, the more we learn about ourselves and the better we know
who we are and who we want to identify with, what we don’t want to repeat, and what we want
for our lives.

ROLE PERFORMANCE

Role refers to a set of expected behaviours determined by familial, cultural and social norms. The level of self-
esteem is dependent upon the self-perception of adequate role performance in these various social roles.
SELF-AWARENESS

Introduction

Self-Awareness and Evaluation are two important aspects to self-development and improvement.
Knowing ones potentials, weaknesses (also fears), skills, and talents are factors to gauge ourselves and be able
to determine what to focus on to develop and improve ourselves. Our weaknesses also play important roles in
identifying what needed to be improved in order to strengthen the identified potentials we already possess.
You will be able identify your inner motivations, drivers, and the reasons behind your actions. This will also
allow you to learn about the things you don’t like in your life so that you can do the necessary improvements
to live happier. The aim of this unit is to help you create a meaningful life so that you can live in harmony with
who you are and what matters most to you.

Learning Outcomes

Upon the completion of the chapter, students shall have been able to

A. Define and explain self-awareness and evaluation;

B. Express orally your thoughts and feelings about yourselves;
C. Recognize the importance of self-awareness to build good relationships with people you deal with.

Activating Prior Knowledge

Do you like all the people you have worked with? If not, what are those feelings you harbour about them? Do
you think some people do not like you too? Have you ever asked or introspect about the reason why people
do not like you?

Learning Objectives

At the end of this lesson, you are expected to:

A. Define self-awareness;
B. Illustrate and explain some commendable characteristics of people and how these could be gauge
to build better relationships;
C. Identify weaknesses and fears as guides in improving wholesome characteristics.

Presentation of Contents

SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-EVALUATION

“always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out

and look for a successful personality and duplicate it”
--Bruce Lee--
Self- awareness is the explicit understanding that one exists which includes the concept that one exists as an
individual, separate from other people, with private thoughts.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

Self-awareness is a comprehensive self-assessment of your potential, skills, and competencies. It is the ability
to know what you are doing to understand your moods and emotions; and how they impact your life. With
self-awareness, you identify your inner motivations, drivers, and the reasons behind your actions. Self-
awareness will also allow you to learn about the things you don’t like in your life so that you can do the
necessary improvements to live happier. To me, the main aim of self-awareness is to create a meaningful life
so that you can live in harmony with who you are really and what matters most to you.

Self-awareness is the core step to tap into both emotional intelligence and leadership. It is one of the keys of
personal growth and success. It provides you with more authenticity, motivation, and confidence.  It is a great
skill that you can develop when the right tools are combined with consistent practice. It gives you power and
comfort. People who are more self-aware are more creative, better communicator, and perform better at
work.

Ask yourself these questions:  What are you good at? What are you passionate about? Do you have any
particular gifts or talents? What qualities do you want to strengthen, which weaknesses do you want to
eliminate? What do you think of yourself? What kind of person you want to be? What are your values and
beliefs (limiting beliefs)? What emotions do you feel most of the time? What make you feel bad?  What is your
greatest fear? What is your most marked characteristic? What are your top five priorities/goals?
What is your favourite journey? What is your greatest regret? When and where were you happiest? If you
could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What do you consider your greatest achievement?
What is your favorite occupation? How do you want to improve? How can you care for yourself better? What
do you want to achieve this year? How can you be healthier, what activities you need to do? How will you
add value to other people’s lives? What strengths you have that can help others.

There is no right or wrong answers as it is about you, who you are, your goals, and dreams. Ralph Ellison said,
“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” It is true to me as knowing ourselves is the best freedom we ever
have. It makes us detached from what others expect from us as we start caring more about our own
expectations and dreams.

When we talk about self-awareness, we are often referring to the mind. Let’s dig a little further to understand
the role of the parts of the brain and their impact on our thoughts, and emotions. There are 3 parts to
consider:

The conscious part: called the neo-cortex or the rational brain. Its main function is reasoning, language, and
logic. This part is guided by the values and beliefs. It uses logic before reacting. Only 5% of this part takes
decisions; the other 95% of our decision making is handled by the lower parts of the brain.
 Subconscious part: called the limbic system or the emotional brain, which represents the second level of our
awareness. It is the area of emotions, feelings, and memories. It is responsible for judgment as it decides if
things are perceived good or bad. It is irrational, reacts without analysing situations, and dominated by its
needs and instincts.
The unconscious part: basal ganglia, which is at the root of the brain. This is our instinctual center, usually
can’t access to it.

What is the relationship of the three parts of the brain with self-awareness? To build self-awareness, we must
become conscious of these three parts and attempt to strengthen our connection to all of them. Many
research proved that most cases fail to reach a complete self-awareness because they target only the neo-
cortex or the rational pat (thoughts, beliefs, biases) as the real drivers of our motivations or emotions come
often from the other parts. It is for this reason; we need to enhance our understanding in regards to our
emotions and instincts or simply the parts below our consciousness. Integrating the various regions of the
brain that control our feelings and instincts will be a substantial help in increasing our self-awareness. Now,
you may be wondering how you can raise self-awareness exploring all parts of the brain. Self-awareness is the
first step to self-improvement. Self-awareness knows what makes you tick. It understands your own needs and
desires, knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are, and being able to accurately assess your emotions.
People who are self-aware know who they are at their core.
The way in which researchers determine whether babies and animals are self-aware is by putting a red dot on
their forehead while they’re asleep or under anaesthesia. They then place the animal or baby next to a mirror. 
The researchers then wait to see what happens when the subject that they’re studying wakes up and looks in
the mirror.
Self-awareness is one of the key components of emotional intelligence (EI).
Daniel Goleman, the guru of emotional intelligence, identified self-awareness as being made up of emotional
awareness, accurate self-assessment, and self-confidence. In other words, it is all about knowing your
emotions, your personal strengths and weaknesses, and having a strong sense of your own worth.

LEVELS OF SELF-AWARENESS

Confusion
This is the degree zero of self-awareness, level 0 at which the individual is oblivious of any mirror reflection,
thus oblivious of the mirror itself. The specular image is confounded with the reality of the environment it
reflects. It is perceived as a mere extension of the world, not a reflection of it. Birds flying into mirrors would
express such level, as they sometime accidentally crash into windows. They mistakenly perceive mirrors as
extension of the environment, not as differentiated objects. Pet owners know that placing a mirror in a canary
cage is substitute for companionship and triggers in the bird melodious courtship songs. It is also the level
expressed by dogs, cats, or monkeys facing mirrors and posturing endless aggressive displays to their own
specular image as if they were confronting a creature other than themselves (Zazzo, 1981). Note that this level
also characterizes moments of absence when we, adult humans, perceive and sometime frighten ourselves for
an instant when experiencing our own mirror reflection as another person surreptitiously facing us.

Differentiation
This is the first sign that the individual is not oblivious of mirrors as reflection. At this level, there is a sense
that what is perceived in the mirror is different from what is perceived in the surrounding environment. More
specifically, when perceiving the own specular image, the individual picks up the fact that there is something
unique about the experience, namely that there is a perfect contingency between seen and felt movements.
Beyond the confusion of the preceding level, this level entails some basic perceptual differentiation.
Differentiation between the experience of own bodily movements as reflected in the mirror and the direct
experience of other moving entities in the world. This is a first level of self-world differentiation: a
differentiated self is expressed.

Situation
Beyond the differentiation of the uniqueness of self-produced movements seen on the surface of the mirror,
the individual now is capable of systematically exploring the intermodal link between seen movements on the
mirror surface and what is perceived of the own body proprioceptively. In other words, individuals now go
beyond the awareness of matched surface characteristics of seen and felt movements. They also explore how
the experience of their own body relates to the specular image, an image that is out there, projecting back at
them what they feel from within. Fig. 1. Whats in the mirror? Western Samoan child confronted with his
mirror reflection after a yellow ‘‘Post-It’’ sticker was surreptitiously placed on the top of his forehead (Photo P.
Rochat) (For interpretation of the references to colour in this figure legend, the reader is referred to the web
version of this article.). 720 P. Rochat / Consciousness and Cognition 12 (2003) 717–731 As compared to the
preceding level, this can be viewed as first signs of a contemplative stance toward the specular image, a sort of
proto-narcissistic stage guided by self-exploration on a projected surface. At this level, there is no confusion.
The individual is aware that what is seen on the mirror is unique to the self. In addition, the individual is also
aware that what is seen is ‘‘out there,’’ on a surface that is spatially situated in relation to the body: a situated
self is expressed

Identification
At this level, the individual manifests recognition, the fact that what is in the mirror is ‘‘Me,’’ not another
individual staring and shadowing the self. There is more than differentiation and situation of self in relation to
the specular image. This level is expressed when children refer explicitly to the self while exploring their own
specular image. As illustrated in Fig. 2, in the case of the ‘‘Post-It’’ sticker surreptitiously placed on the childs
forehead prior to mirror exposure, the child discovers it in the mirror and reaches for it for touch or removal.
This behavior is typically considered by developmental psychologists as the index of an emerging conceptual
self (Lewis & Brooks-Gunn, 1979; Bertenthal & Fisher, 1978; Rochat, 1995), but also as a major cognitive
landmark by evolutionary psychologists (Gallup, 1982; Povinelli, 1993). At this level, the individual is capable of
referring the specular image to the own body, the latter being the referent of what is seen in the mirror. There
is an identity relation between the self as experienced from within and what is displayed on the polished
surface of the mirror: an identified self is expressed.

Permanence
The self is identified beyond the here and now of mirror experience. It can be identified in pictures and movies
taken in the past, where the self might be significantly younger, at a different location and dressed in different
cloths. In other words, the identification of the self is not tied to the temporal simultaneity and spatial
coincidence of the body and its reflection whether in live videos or specular images. The individual manifests a
sense of self that perdures the immediacy of mirror experience. A permanent self is expressed: an entity that
is represented as invariant over time and appearance changes

Self-consciousness or meta-self-awareness
The self is now recognized not only from a first person perspective, but also from a third persons. Individuals
are not only aware of what they are but how they are in the mind of others: How they present themselves to
the public eye (Goffman, 1959). The public outlook on the self is simulated for further evaluation of how one is
perceived and valued by others. The result of this evaluation, more often than not is either a devaluation or a
delusion, linked to so-called ‘‘selfconscious’’ emotions or attitudes such as pride or shame. A self-conscious
self is expressed: an entity that is simulated and projected in the mind of others.

BARRIERS TO SELF-AWARENESS

Firstly, our own bias

Many of us can feel uncomfortable with being conscious about our areas for development. In our highly
narcissistic and comparative culture it can feel counterintuitive to ask for help or admit mistakes, for fear
of being judged poorly or seen as weak. We want others to see the best version of ourselves, which can
mean we consciously or unconsciously end up hiding our faults. We are notoriously bad at judging our
own characters. Tasha Eurich reported that 95% of people think they’re self-aware – that is, conscious of
what really makes them tick and how they come across to others – yet realistically she identifies that
about 10-15% of us really are. You are probably very familiar with this, your life is probably full of friends
and colleagues who don’t have any awareness of how others perceive them.  However, the real point
here is whether that is also true of you? It is tricky to know ourselves fully when we have so many
cognitive biases.  Just because it isn’t easy doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consciously work on becoming
more self-aware. It can be an uncomfortable process to develop self-awareness as we need to shed light
on those faults we have been so good at hiding, not only to others but to ourselves also.

Secondly, feedback avoidance

Self-awareness is more than just understanding our personality traits, values, attitudes, behaviours,
habits and everything else that makes us tick. An equally, if not more valuable, aspect is being aware of
how in sync our self-view is when compared to external perspectives, how others see us. The humerous
part is with no external data, the results of self-knowledge assessments are presumed to be accurate,
when instead they may reinforce the inaccurate perceptions of ourselves. The result is that no external
feedback can be harmful to both our development and performance. The table below shows findings of a
study by Rubin, Erich and Dierdorff which clearly demonstrates the relationship between accurate self-
awareness and team effectiveness. When individuals were less self-aware (i.e., there was a large gap
between the assessments of their own behavioural contributions and the assessments of their team
members), the teams substantially suffered. In fact, teams with less self-aware individuals made worse
decisions, engaged in less coordination, and showed less conflict management. Correctly understanding
our own self-knowledge relative to others perspectives is therefore essential in transforming
introspection from just naval gazing into more accurate self-awareness, leading us to greater success.
Feedback from others can be an experience we would rather avoid, however, it is a key principal of self-
awareness.

Finally, taking action

You can read every self-development tip, you can listen other’s feedback and take every personality
profile available, but it will be pointless if you don’t put your learning into practice.  This is always one of
the hardest steps to take, change requires us to step out from our comfort zones, take risks and try
things differently.  When we are truly self-aware it enables us to take the knowledge we have and that
others have given us  and apply it into practice,  to develop both personally and professionally. To be
better. Sometimes these changes in our thinking, emotions and behaviours won’t always go to plan, but
the self-aware person will be able to admit these mistakes and move on from them, honestly evaluating
themselves and reforming their actions accordingly.

ACTIVITIES
Self-Awareness Worksheet

Self-Awareness happens through reflection. You can have numerous experiences in your life, but still lack self-
awareness. You need to take the time to step outside of your experiences and reflect on them. The key areas
for self-awareness include our personality traits, personal values, emotions, habits, and the psychological
needs that motivate our behaviors.

To get you thinking about your personal development plan and your mission statement, spend some time
contemplating the following:

TALENTS
What are your greatest talents or skills?
Which of your talents or skills gives you the greatest sense of pride or satisfaction?
What talents or skills do you admire most in others?
What talent or skill do you wish to develop for yourself?

TRAITS/QUALITIES
What are your five greatest strengths?
1.
2.
3.
4.

What do you feel are your two biggest weaknesses?

1.
2.

What are your best qualities/characteristics?

What qualities do you wish you had?

What qualities or traits do you most admire in others?

What behaviors, traits, or qualities do you want other people to admire in you?

VALUES
What are ten (10) things that are really important to you?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

What are the three most important things to you?

1.
2.
3.

Do you spend enough time on/with the things you most value? Why or why not?

What are the values that you hold most near to your heart?

PERCEPTION
How is the “public you” different from the “private you”?

What makes it hard to be yourself with others?

How are you trying to please others with the way you live your life?

What do you want people to think and say about you?

How do your behaviors and actions support what they think or say?

What do you least want people to think about you?

Is it more important to be like by others or to be yourself? Why?

Who are the people who allow you to feel fully yourself?

What places allow you to feel fully yourself?

What activities allow you to feel fully yourself?

How do you want people to remember you when you are gone?

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

What three things are you most proud of in your life to date?
1.
2.
3.

What do you hope to achieve in life? If you were to receive an award, what would you want that award to
represent? Why?

If you could accomplish only one thing during the rest of your life, what would it be? What do you believe you
are here to accomplish or contribute to the world?

REFLECTION

List three (3) things that you are:

1.
2.
3.
List three (3) things that you are not:
1.
2.
3.

What is something that represents you? (e.g. song, animal, flower, poem, symbol, jewelry, etc…) why?

What do you like best about yourself?

What do you like least about yourself?

What three things would you like to change most about yourself?
1.
2.
3.

Who are two people you most admire?

1.
2.

What do you admire about them?

What are five things you love to do?

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

What matters to you most in my life?

What makes you happy?

What are three things you believe you need in order to have a great life? Why are those things important to
you?
1.
2.
3.
What do you stand for (Principles)?

Finish the sentence I do my best when...

I struggle when…
I am comfortable when…
I feel stress when…
I am courageous when...
One of the most important things I learned was...
I missed a great opportunity when...
One of my favorite memories is…
My toughest decisions involve...
Being myself is hard because…
I can be myself when…
I wish I was more….
I wish I could…
I wish I would regularly….
I wish I had…
I wish I knew…
I wish I felt…
I wish I saw…
I wish I thought…
Life should be about…
I am going to make my life about…