1

00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:04,545

2
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,506
I heard someone
got engaged, you dog!

3
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:07,715
Yeah.

4
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,676
God!

5
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,135
Nothing can
hurt you now.

6
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,845
You're a man in love!

7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,435
I was there, and that
dude is not engaged.

8
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,437
I'm not a big believer
in therapy,

9
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,940
but I would go into my own
pocket to cover his copay.

10
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,192
Big idea,
double wedding!

11
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,527
Me, Angela, you, Holly.

12
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:28,986
No. We would never do that.

13
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,697
And if we did, it would
be with Jim and Pam.
14
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:31,781
Yeah, we'd never
do that.

15
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:32,865
Yeah, so there you go.

16
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,701
Michael, I got
my bridesmaid's dress.

17
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:35,910
Wow, so quickly.

18
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,036
Yeah, and you said
I could get it

19
00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,788
in any color I wanted,
so I picked white.

20
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,374
Michael, did you tell
your mom yet?

21
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,209
Nope. Nope, not yet.

22
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,544
Why not?
You wouldn't tell your mom?

23
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,129
- You love your mom.
- Yeah, I do.

24
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,213
Call your mom, Michael.

25
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,507
Yeah, I'll call her
and tell her tomorrow.

26
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:53,720
Call her! Call her! I don't
wanna do it in public.

27
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,888
All right,
I will call her.

28
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,640
She is going to
freak out!

29
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:58,725
Speakerphone!

30
00:00:58,809 --> 00:00:59,851
Not...

31
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,062
Thanks.

32
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,105
Hello?

33
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,440
Mom, I'm getting married.

34
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,524
No, you're not.

35
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,359
Why do you always do that?

36
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:12,697
Whenever I'm getting married,
you don't believe me.

37
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,491
Are you getting married?

38
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:16,868
No.

39
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,079
Are you...

40
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,123
I'm not.
I'm not getting married.

41
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,255
Psych.

42
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,446
So I've returned
my bridesmaid dress

43
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,699
and it was on sale, so I'm
out a hundred dollars.

44
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,035
And I'm out a fiancée.

45
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:00,787
Are those
the customer surveys?

46
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:04,624
Yeah, this is all of them.
Jim, Dwight,

47
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,461
Phyllis, Stanley,
Andy and...

48
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,923
It's the receipt
to my bridesmaid dress.

49
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,007
What's that doing there?

50
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,427
I'll take care of that
for you. Thanks.

51
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:22,475
Kelly Kapoor is our dusky,
exotic, customer service rep.

52
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,645
And once a year, she
will contact our clients
53
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,898
and find out how happy they
are with our sales people.

54
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,151
Sort of a "Kapoor's List."
Schindler's List parody.

55
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,405
That's not appropriate. No.

56
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,075
Those reports
affect our bonuses,

57
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,868
which is kind of
great for me,

58
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:43,621
because you wouldn't know
from looking at her,

59
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:44,997
but Pam's a gold digger.

60
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,000
- Hey, New York ain't free.
- Get back to work.

61
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,338
It's the world's
tiniest Bluetooth.

62
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:55,341
I found it in a Japanese
gadget store in the Village.

63
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,218
I got one for Jim, too.

64
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,344
Jim, say something.

65
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,054
Testing, testing,
hello, everybody.

66
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,556
We wanted to stay
on the phone all day,

67
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,725
but the company has a policy
against eight-hour personal calls,

68
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,727
so we're not
telling anyone.

69
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,855
Pam, what do you
want on your coffee?

70
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,357
- Sprinkle of cinnamon.
- Sprinkle of cinnamon.

71
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,567
I should go.

72
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,361
All righty, Dwighty,
let's see how you did.

73
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,071
Bring it on.
No.

74
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,322
Sorry.

75
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,157
Wow.

76
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,284
What does it say?

77
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,663
Dwight, your feedback
is horrible.
78
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,623
That's impossible.
A number of your clients

79
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,543
found your personal style
abrasive and distasteful.

80
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,712
I sell more paper than anyone.
No, no, no, no.

81
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,463
Wait, is this a joke?

82
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,716
I'm getting that queasy feeling
that sometimes accompanies jokes.

83
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,134
Do I look like
I am joking?

84
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,511
No, but that's
sometimes part of it.

85
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,096
If I were joking,
you'd be laughing.

86
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,848
Do you look like
you are laughing?

87
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,183
Impossible to say,
I can't see myself.

88
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,310
You're not.

89
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,146
Yo, Tommy Tuna.

90
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,606
Did you get
your scores yet?

91
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,815
No.

92
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,859
I got mine,
they were really good.

93
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,193
I miss him.

94
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,528
You must be really proud.

95
00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,405
Yeah, I'm pretty psyched.
Whoa!

96
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,990
That's my mug.

97
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,118
Sorry, I was just...
It was right here.

98
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,244
Right. Well,

99
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:08,539
it's mine, so if you could pour
it out and get another one.

100
00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:10,958
Okay, or maybe I could finish
the coffee that's in here,

101
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,002
and you could use...

102
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,338
Snoopy! He's funny.

103
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,131
Don't give him Snoopy.
That's mine!

104
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,261
That is a great mug,
but it's not my mug.

105
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,598
That is my mug,
so give it back.

106
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,433
How can you even be sure?

107
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,685
That's my face on it.

108
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,395
Make the face.

109
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,147
I don't see it.

110
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,857
Dude, that is my face.

111
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,526
What was that?

112
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,570
Wow. That was Dwight.

113
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,030
He seems upset
about something.

114
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,448
Describe him exactly.

115
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,117
What color mustard is his
shirt, yellow or Dijon?

116
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:47,954
It is spicy brown, actually.

117
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,288
What are you
mumbling about?

118
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:50,498
How was your meeting
with Michael?

119
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:51,666
None of your business.

120
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,750
Was it your scores?

121
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,044
These can't be
my scores, Jim.

122
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,589
For your information,
I'm being sabotaged.

123
00:04:58,674 --> 00:04:59,674
Of course.

124
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,801
And I'm gonna find that
person and punish them.

125
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:02,843
Absolutely.

126
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,388
Or you could just be
nice to your customers.

127
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:06,931
You're an idiot.

128
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,182
There's the charm.

129
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,393
Jimbo, let's do this thing.

130
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:12,853
That is me.
Wish me luck.

131
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:13,980
No way.

132
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,272
Good luck.
Thanks.

133
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,774
I didn't say anything.
I love you.

134
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:17,817
I love you, too.

135
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,361
What do you think
I'm saying to you?

136
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,405
I'm not talking to you.

137
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,533
I caught Jim talking to
himself several times today.

138
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:26,909
What a loser.

139
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,912
Get a friend, loser!

140
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,166
Yeah, I'm looking at it right
now, it's really gorgeous.

141
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:35,626
You guys do great work.

142
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,130
I found the best "tentist"
on the East Coast.

143
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:43,426
He personally tented Giuliani's
first and third weddings.

144
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,929
And I got him.
I got him.

145
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:51,517
Would you be able to do the same
design, but with walls of gray?

146
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,603
And a top that's gray, too?
Fabulous.

147
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,772
Come on.

148
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,149
What?
You, too?

149
00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,442
Did my scores drop a little?

150
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,485
Jim, they are poopy.

151
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:06,323
Jim?

152
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:08,743
Jim?

153
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,912
Are we even sure
that's my file?

154
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,080
No.

155
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,876
Yes, I am sure, Jim, it...

156
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,044
Well, there's gotta
be an explanation.

157
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,170
I agree.

158
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,963
Yeah.
So, let's see

159
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,507
what we can find out
from reading.

160
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,428
Jim Halpert is
smudge and arrogant.

161
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,929
I think he means smug.

162
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,056
Arrogance.

163
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,140
Michael,
I'm just trying to...

164
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,893
And there is
our smudgeness.

165
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,811
I need a decent bonus

166
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:39,065
because I'm actually in the process
of buying my parents' house

167
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,442
so that they can retire.

168
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,904
And if history tells us anything,
it's that you can't go wrong

169
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,323
buying a house
you can't afford.

170
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:51,327
Pam doesn't know about the
house, so it's a fun surprise.

171
00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:56,707
Pam, sorry about that.
Lost you for a second.

172
00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,211
So, as it turns out,
I may not have done so hot

173
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,004
on my customer
reviews this year.

174
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,422
Maybe it's 'cause you
spent the whole year

175
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,049
flirting with
the receptionist.

176
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,176
Little bit. Worth it.

177
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,848
Here's what's going to happen,
I am going to have to fix you.

178
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,977
Manage you two
on a more personal scale,

179
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,980
a more micro
form of management.

180
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,107
Jim, what is that called?

181
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,067
Micro-gement.
Boom. Yes.

182
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,194
Now, Jim is going
to be the client.

183
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,446
Dwight, you're going
to have to sell to him

184
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:31,033
without being aggressive,
hostile or difficult.

185
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,326
Let's go.

186
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,452
All right, fine.

187
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,122
Ring, ring.

188
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,248
Hello?

189
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,000
Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from
the Dunder Mifflin paper company.

190
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,128
Well, that's great,
'cause I need paper.

191
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,088
Excellent, then you are in
luck, because we are having

192
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,757
a limited-time offer
only on everything.

193
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:47,842
Wow, this is
my lucky day.

194
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:48,926
Ask him his name.

195
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,177
What is your name, sir?

196
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,054
I am Bill Buttlicker.

197
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,807
Really?
That's your real name?

198
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,058
How dare you?

199
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,019
My family built this
country, by the way.

200
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:00,980
Be respectful, Dwight. Please.
Yes, Michael.

201
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,523
Could you hold on one second?
That's my other line.

202
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,816
What? No, but I... I'm on hold.

203
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,152
Hello? Yeah.

204
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:10,656
No. I'm just on the phone with this
stupid salesman. He's so dumb.

205
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,616
Probably just going to keep
him on the line forever

206
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,994
and not buy anything.

207
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,078
Okay.

208
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,663
It's up to you
to change his mind.

209
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,166
Sorry, that was
a family emergency.

210
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,333
Oh, no, what's wrong?

211
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,127
You know what?
That's private.

212
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,503
Boundaries, Dwight.
Come on!

213
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,005
I'm sorry,
Mr. Buttlicker.

214
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,173
As I was saying...

215
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,175
Sorry, you just have to
speak a little bit louder,

216
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,843
I'm hard of hearing. He's hard of...
He's an old man.

217
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,845
Okay, as I was
saying, right now...

218
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:33,929
You're gonna
have to talk louder.

219
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,681
Okay, our prices
have never been lower...
220
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,849
Son, you have to
talk louder.

221
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:37,892
Never been lower!

222
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:38,976
Louder, son!

223
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,604
Buttlicker, our prices
have never been lower!

224
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,647
Stop it! Stop it!
He...

225
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,692
That is totally
inappropriate.

226
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:47,902
You never yell
at the client.

227
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,612
You never yell at the client.
Now you listen to me, sir.

228
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,696
Here we go.

229
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,781
The three words I
would describe you as

230
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,868
is aggressive, hostile
and definitely difficult.

231
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,703
Please, Mr. Buttlicker...
I'm irate right now.

232
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:58,787
Give me the phone.

233
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,039
Please give me
another chance.

234
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,374
Mr. Buttlicker, I have to
put you on with my boss.

235
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,876
Well, I should hope so.

236
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,920
Who is this?
Hello, this is Michael Scott,

237
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,046
regional manager.

238
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,131
Well, this is
William M. Buttlicker.

239
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,967
Hello, Mr. Buttlicker,
how may we help you?

240
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,552
Michael, I like the
sound of your voice.

241
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:14,637
You know what
I'm going to do?

242
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:18,349
I'm going to buy $1,000,000
worth of paper products today.

243
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,351
See how it's done?

244
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:21,727
Thank you very much, sir.
245
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,604
I don't think you'll regret it.
See what I did?

246
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:24,688
You are the master.

247
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:25,773
There is one condition,
Michael.

248
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,566
Yes. You have to
fire the salesman

249
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:28,692
that treated me
so terribly.

250
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,986
Don't do it, Michael.

251
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,447
It's a million-dollar sale.

252
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:38,827
So it's called the Shangri-la Tent.
It's two stories, heated,

253
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:42,998
and it has a bridal suite
for my bridal sweet.

254
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,086
It's just really simple,
really tasteful.

255
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,964
I don't want to be married
in a tent like a hobo.

256
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,840
Hobos live in trains.

257
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,802
Nana Mimi can't be
in canvas that long.

258
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:58,472
Well, Nana Mimi...
Okay, look.

259
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,475
This tent is awesome,

260
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,352
and it's in high demand,

261
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,730
so I really think we should
put a deposit down now.

262
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,986
Okay, fine. You can have your tent,
but only if it's in a field.

263
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,570
A hand-plowed field.

264
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:14,863
Done and done-er.

265
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:19,159
There has to be a barn that's old
enough that you can see the stars

266
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:22,413
through the roof slats,
when you lay on your back.

267
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,874
And antique tools to look
at when you roll over.

268
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,460
Do you have a specific
place in mind?

269
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,586
No.

270
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:32,506
But anything within a five-to-eight
mile radius is acceptable.

271
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:33,924
On it.

272
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,592
Dwight.

273
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,137
Dwight.

274
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,140
Get in.
Are you serious?

275
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,433
Get in.

276
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,691
Okay, what are you...

277
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,404
They might be
listening to us.

278
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,656
What's that? Who is "they"?
They might be listening to us.

279
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,950
Customer service might be
monitoring this conversation!

280
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,035
In this car?

281
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,161
You never know.
Better safe than sorry.

282
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,456
What are you thinking here?

283
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,291
Who stands to benefit
from our downfall?

284
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,625
The mob?

285
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:09,668
Maybe NASA.

286
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:10,919
Could be the mob.

287
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,671
But then Dunder Mifflin
would need to

288
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,006
be a front
for money laundering,

289
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,382
and there's
little evidence of that.

290
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,550
Is there some evidence?

291
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,010
Cute shoes online.

292
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,511
How many shoes
do you need?

293
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,222
I don't know, two, maybe
three, if one wears out.

294
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,307
How many shoes
do you need?

295
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,641
I'm not talking to you.

296
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,352
Who are you talking to?
Pam.

297
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,686
She's not here, Jim.

298
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,979
No, she's not.

299
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,534
Yes!

300
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:45,829
I found it. I found the perfect place.
A local bed and breakfast

301
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:49,083
which is on a 60-acre beet
farm, and even better,

302
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,043
I have an in
with the owner.

303
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,003
Yeah, we work together.

304
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,506
It's Dwight Schrute.

305
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,175
As in Schrute Farms.

306
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,219
So I'd like to
redouble my order.

307
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:01,887
If you could
put me down for...

308
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,555
Wait, shut up!
I'm sorry?

309
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,225
Do you hear that?
310
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,309
Hear what?

311
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,354
Breathing. Is that you?

312
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,397
Well, I am breathing, yeah.

313
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:14,066
Well, stop.
Hold your breath.

314
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,234
I still hear it.

315
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,360
Who's there?

316
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,821
Kelly, is that you?

317
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,741
Hold on.

318
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:23,992
I need paper.

319
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,287
Oh, my God,
you scared me!

320
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,622
Hear anything interesting?

321
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,249
What are you talking about?

322
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,792
I think you know.

323
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,586
You always say that,
and I almost never know.
324
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,255
What are you up to, girl?

325
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,464
Did Phyllis
put you up to this?

326
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,757
Stanley?
Are they paying you?

327
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,175
Are you accusing me
of something?

328
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,844
Of course I am. I know
you're the mastermind,

329
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,513
but you're too stupid
to do it by yourself.

330
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,890
Easy. Let's just
head back to the desk.

331
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,351
You just can't come into my
nook and call me stupid.

332
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,603
And maybe if you were a little
bit more nice and polite,

333
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,939
then people wouldn't give you
such bad customer reviews.

334
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,484
The reason that I got bad customer
reviews is because I didn't.

335
00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:01,155
There is a massive conspiracy going
on here, and I know you're involved.
336
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,781
Dwight, get out of my nook.

337
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,116
That's what she said.
That's what she said!

338
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,993
That's what she said!

339
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:07,536
Good one.

340
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:16,378
Hey. Sorry about Dwight,
by the way.

341
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,588
Yeah, he's weird.

342
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,716
Well, we all
handle it differently.

343
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,386
I personally choose to handle
it like a normal person, but...

344
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,471
Okay.

345
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:26,972
Hey, how are you
and Darryl?

346
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,100
We're cool. Bye.

347
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,393
Bye.

348
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,396
That was weird.
What was?
349
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,106
Have you ever had
a conversation with Kelly

350
00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:39,693
where she didn't go on for 15
minutes without taking a breath?

351
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,737
No, actually.
Did you do something to her?

352
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,405
I don't think so.

353
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,240
Well, something's off.

354
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,286
Hey, how's things?

355
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,454
All right.
Yeah?

356
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,497
Living in the moment.

357
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,081
Do you have
any reason to believe

358
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,249
that Kelly
would be mad at me?

359
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,668
I don't play the politics
game anymore, Jim.

360
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,212
Can I tell you something?

361
00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,713
I played it
full-on in New York.
362
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,257
I played it high stakes,
for keeps.

363
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,552
Made it to the top,
but look what it cost.

364
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,179
Can I tell you
what else I learned?

365
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,722
Wait, that's pretty weird.

366
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:09,806
What?

367
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,725
Well, Andy has
a mug just like that.

368
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,520
Yeah. Kelly gave them
out as party favors.

369
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,271
Remember? You got one.
No.

370
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,398
What party? Her America's
Got Talent finale party

371
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,108
over the summer.

372
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,070
That's crazy. It was packed.
I thought everyone was there.

373
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,488
You were there. I
remember you being there.

374
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:25,948
I wasn't, but thank you.

375
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,574
Hey, do you know
anything about this party?

376
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,201
Yes. I said you
definitely should go,

377
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,869
but you wanted
to visit me instead.

378
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,539
I can't be the only one
who didn't...

379
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,432
Dwight, let me see
your coffee cup.

380
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,559
No.

381
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,394
Is that it?
No.

382
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,687
Why? No.

383
00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,898
Okay, I'm going to
assume that was it.

384
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,317
Here's the thing.
I think you're right.

385
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,612
I think it was Kelly. I think she's mad
at us for not coming to her party.

386
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,906
Man, I knew it. Who are
her co-conspirators?

387
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,074
Probably just Kelly.

388
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,159
Obviously. I knew it.

389
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,369
That's what I'm saying.

390
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:13,662
Yeah. What?

391
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,746
You were right.

392
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:15,956
I was right.

393
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,416
You were right.
I was right.

394
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,542
You knew it.
I knew it.

395
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:19,626
You knew it
the whole time, buddy.

396
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,086
I knew it
the whole time, buddy!

397
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,546
- Wow!
- Yeah!

398
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,089
Right Dwight is loud.

399
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,674
Yes! I knew it!
400
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:26,967
Yeah!

401
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,597
Boom! Kelly the whole time.
Let's get her.

402
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,015
No, no, no, no.
Dwight, Dwight, Dwight.

403
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,182
Let's just
talk about this.

404
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,309
Get out of the way.

405
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,768
What's going on?

406
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,145
Why don't
you tell us?

407
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:39,479
Nothing's going on.

408
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:40,939
Let me
paint you a picture

409
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,275
of a little girl
from southern India,

410
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,444
who despite being welcomed
into this country

411
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:49,406
will now spend the rest of her life
in prison for a crime she did commit.

412
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,490
Dwight.
413
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:53,118
I was informed
by these gentlemen

414
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,911
that the reports
that you filed

415
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:57,205
may not entirely
be accurate.

416
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,708
What? I don't know
what you are talking about.

417
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,001
This is the first that
I'm hearing about this.

418
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,127
Come on.

419
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,962
You juked
the stats, cupcake.

420
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,088
We called about
a dozen customers and

421
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,965
they all said that they
gave us great marks.

422
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,675
What's going on?

423
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,555
I love your tie, Michael.

424
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,684
Kelly...
I was raped.

425
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,437
You cannot say
"I was raped"

426
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,564
and expect all your
problems to go away, Kelly.

427
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,067
Not again.
Don't keep doing that.

428
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,069
I'll give you one last
chance to come clean.

429
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,571
Just tell me
what happened.

430
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,659
Okay, all right. Okay, I did it.
All right? I lied.

431
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:34,868
Whatever, just fire me.

432
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,161
But you know what?
I did it because

433
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,371
you guys didn't
come to my party,

434
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,538
and you said
you would try to,

435
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,873
and then you
didn't even show up,

436
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,750
and so you're bad friends.

437
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,043
We have our confession.
I'm calling security.

438
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,503
Don't, don't.
Get away from that,

439
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,837
Dwight, please.

440
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,339
You know what? She's got
a point about you, too.

441
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,800
You do have a problem
dealing with people.

442
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:51,009
See? I wasn't lying.

443
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,469
You were lying.

444
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,762
I was lying.
Yes.

445
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,514
Jim, Dwight,
please excuse us.

446
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:56,848
But I want to be here
when you fire her ass.

447
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,935
I will call you
when it is time.

448
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:10,404
I have an enormous
amount of trouble

449
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,282
trying to get people
to come to my place.
450
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,451
And I hate it.

451
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:20,372
I can't tell you how
much leftover guacamole

452
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,083
I have ended up eating
over the years.

453
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:27,546
I don't even know why I make
it in such great quantities.

454
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,131
Here's what
we're going to do.

455
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,341
We are going to
sit here for a while,

456
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:33,343
make it look good.

457
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,303
And maybe you should cry.

458
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:36,722
Can you make yourself cry?

459
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:37,764
No problem.

460
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:39,975
I think
you should do that.

461
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,617
Pam Beesly?

462
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,870
Hey. What are
you doing here?
463
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:00,996
Who's that?

464
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,372
It's Alex.

465
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,959
It's Pam.
I came to kidnap you.

466
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:09,171
There's free wine and cheese at the
Chuck Close retrospective. Let's go.

467
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,715
That's going to be great.
Who's Chuck Close?

468
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:15,010
I love Chuck Close and his
photorealist paintings.

469
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,344
But I have to work.

470
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,098
Well, actually,
there's something else

471
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,601
I'd love to
talk to you about.

472
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,520
Can we go somewhere
else to talk about it?

473
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,689
Okay.

474
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,316
That's it.
I want to talk to this guy.

475
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,650
Put me in his ear.

476
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,694
What's up?

477
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,362
I want to take a big leap.

478
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,948
And I want to tell you that
I think that you should not

479
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,117
move back to Scranton.

480
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,243
Wow.

481
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,120
I want to make
a bigger leap here.

482
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,622
He is into you.

483
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:46,166
Why did you come to New York
in the first place?

484
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,876
Because they have
a great design program,

485
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,462
and I wanted to see
if I was any good at it.

486
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,464
And I wanted to
work on my art, too.

487
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:53,548
Right.

488
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,509
And that's why I think
you should stay here.

489
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:58,094
Because, I mean, you
really just got here,

490
00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:01,097
you know, and you can't do
New York in three months.

491
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:04,726
You know, it has everything.
All the opportunity is here,

492
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,312
all the... The whole art
scene is in New York.

493
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,189
You know, it would be nuts
to go back to Scranton

494
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,733
without getting to
fully experience it.

495
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,819
Jim's in Scranton.

496
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:14,945
I know, but...

497
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:19,032
All I'm saying is, if there's
even a teeny, tiny part of you

498
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,284
that really wants
to be an artist,

499
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,995
then I think you should stay
here, because you don't want

500
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,289
to wake up in 50 years
501
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,292
and look back and wonder
what could have been.

502
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,004
And that is
the end of my speech.

503
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,465
I planned it all.
Anyway...

504
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,050
I will see you tomorrow.

505
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,261
I'll see you tomorrow.

506
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,316
Is that the
Matsahashi B-400?

507
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,026
The world's
tiniest Bluetooth.

508
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,905
May I?
Don't.

509
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:04,202
Congratulations on choosing
Schrute Farms for your wedding.

510
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,955
No, we haven't decided
on anything yet.

511
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,583
We're still
reviewing some options

512
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,209
and it's going to come
down to the numbers.

513
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:14,921
Well, then, why don't you look
over some of our materials,

514
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,634
while I describe to you
the Excalibur package.

515
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,720
In addition to the
breathtaking natural beauty

516
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,847
and smell
of Schrute Farms,

517
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,141
I can promise you that our
grounds can be catered

518
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,935
to fit your
exact specifications.

519
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,898
I will work tirelessly for
you over the coming months

520
00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,567
and be at your
constant disposal.

521
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:40,155
Please feel free to call or stop
by any time of the day or night.

522
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:42,324
That's very generous.

523
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:43,700
Well, you,
my good friend,

524
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,868
have nothing more
to worry about.

525
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,287
This wedding is officially
out of your hands.

526
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,581
Thank the good Lord. Deal!

527
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:50,749
Okay.

528
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:52,834
What are we
talking pricewise?

529
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,294
You already said,
"Deal."

530
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,921
Pay him
whatever he wants.

531
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,672
Can't argue with that.

532
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,508
Dwight,

533
00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:06,306
you are going to
make us so happy.