Perdev1 2
Perdev1 2
Quarter 2 – _Module 1:
Teen-age Relationships Including the Acceptable and Unacceptable Expressions of Attractions
Relationship
It is said that every kind of relationship is a two-way traffic which means that all parties should learn how to give
and take. There are different forms of relationships and each of us has a clear description for each of these forms. We
certainly have our own ways of creating and improving these relationships.
Personal relationship is practically the kind of relationship that we have with our families, friends, and partners in life.
This definition also applies to our relationship with those people who are significant to us.
Affection is one of human beings' greatest emotions. There is a lot of passion, but more are conveyed in an intimate
partnership with a compatible partner. Romantic attachments are one of the most important aspects of life for these
people, and a source of tremendous fulfilment.
• o ATTRACTION- it is a force that unites people and can grow into an attachment which eventually leads to
commitment.
Attraction
Proximity and similarity contribute to relationship-building, and reciprocity and self-disclosure are critical for
sustaining relationships. Yet, what characteristics do we find attractive about a person? We don't shape relationships with
someone who lives or works in our vicinity, so how do we determine which particular individuals we want as friends and
partners? Researchers have documented several characteristics which are attractive to humans. People differ in what they
consider attractive, and cultural influences on attractiveness. Nevertheless, research indicates that some commonly
attractive characteristics in women include wide eyes, high cheekbones, a thin jaw line, a slim build (Buss 1989), and a
lower waist-to-hip ratio (Singh 1993).
Likewise, attractive features of men include being tall, having broad shoulders, and a small waist (Buss 1989).
Both men and women with high levels of facial and body symmetry are commonly seen as more attractive than
asymmetric individuals (Fink, Neave, Manning and Grammer 2006; Penton-Voak et al. 2001; Rikowski and Grammer
1999).
In future female partners, social characteristics that people consider attractive include comfort, empathy, and
social skills; in males, the desirable characteristics include competence, leadership abilities, and work skills (Regan and
Berscheid 1997).
While humans want physically attractive mates, this doesn't mean we are looking for the most attractive person
possible. In fact, this observation has led some to propose what is known as the matching hypothesis that asserts that
people tend to choose someone they see as their equal in physical attractiveness and social desirability (Taylor et. al.
2011).
People weigh the attractiveness of a potential partner against the probability of succeeding with that individual.
If you believe you are particularly unattractive (even if you are not), you would probably be looking for partners that are
fairly unattractive (i.e. unattractive in physical appearance or behavior).
Typically, we love the people we make relationships with, but the sort of love we have for our families, friends,
and lovers is special. Robert Sternberg (1986) suggested that love has three components: affection, passion, and
dedication. These three components form a triangle that distinguishes many forms of love: this is known as the triangular
love theory by Sternberg.
Love is sometimes characterized by intimacy which is the sharing of details and emotions and intimate thoughts.
Sternberg (1986) states that a healthy relationship will have all three components of love – _intimacy, passion,
and commitment – _which are described as consummate love.At different stages of life, however, different aspects of
love may prevail more. Other types of love involve affection, described as intimacy, but not passion or commitment.
Infatuation is love without engagement or intimacy. Empty love means engagement without passion or intimacy.
Companionate love, characteristic of close friendships and family relationships, is affection and loyalty but there is no
passion. Passion and affection describe romantic love, but no engagement. Lastly, fatuous love is characterized by
passion and devotion but no intimacy, such as a long-term sexual love affair.
Understanding the Acceptable and Unacceptable Means of Expressing Attractions Toward The
Opposite Sex
Filipino society has set standards for terribly unacceptable way to demonstrate someone's attractions against
those who are practically acceptable. Perhaps you are asking why it is important to understand and realize these things.
Filipino culture is bound to believe that a decent display of someone's feeling is also a must to be accepted by
society. It is a major disappointment that anyone who fails to follow this standard will be classified as poorly educated by
society or the community, or how one’s parents failed at parenting.
Because of the Filipinos’ culture of decency, the Republic of the Philippines seriously believed that the issues of
people's means of expressing attractions to the opposite sex or gender can be legally addressed. The Republic Act (RA)
11313, otherwise known as the Safe Space Act, intentionally prohibits indecent and unlawful acts of expression. This RA
broadens the scope of the RA 7877 or the Anti-Harassment Act of 1995. This law recognizes that sexual harassment
occurs in the workplace, education, and training environments, and penalizes persons who have authority, influence, and
moral status in those institutions who commit prohibited acts of sexual harassment. While the Safe Space Act addresses
these gaps in our legal framework by recognizing that sexual harassment can be committed between peers. A good
example of this are: a subordinate to a superior, a student to a teacher, or a trainee to a trainer.
1.Mutual respect. Will he or she get to know how smart and why you are? Will your partner listen to you when you say
you are not happy doing something and then instantly back off? Respect in a partnership means that each partner trusts
and respects the weaknesses of each other and will never question them.
2. Trust. You talk to a classmate, and your partner wanders about. Is he going to lose his cool, or is he going to keep
walking, because he knows you are never going to cheat on him? Often it's normal to get a little jealous; jealousy is a
common feeling. But how a person reacts when he feels jealous is what matters. Though you trust each other, there is no
guarantee that you will have a healthy relationship.
3. Honesty. This one goes hand-in - hand with confidence, because when one of you is not honest, it is difficult to trust
another. Have you ever caught your partner in a total lie? Like when she told you that she / he was occupied with
homework, but it turned out that she / he was talking to friends? You're going to have a lot of difficulty believing the
next time she / he says she / he has to work and the trust will be on dangerous foundations.
4. Support. It is not only in difficult times that you should be supported by your partner. Usually, when the whole world
is falling apart, we thought that this is the only time we need support from others. Even in your best, you still need
support and when time gets tough, your significant other should still be there. For instance, your partner should be there
when you find out that your parents are breaking apart and he/she should also rejoice with you when you get a great
score.
5. Fairness/Equality. You need to have a give and a take in your relationship. Do you take turns deciding what kind of
food to eat? Are you going out with your friends as a partner as much as you stay out with your friends? If it is not a fair
balance, you will know. When a relationship transforms into a power struggle, with one party trying to get his or her way
all the time, changes get really fast.
6. Separate identities. In a stable relationship, everybody has to make compromises. But that does not mean you
should have the feeling that you are losing yourself. You both had your own lives when you started out (families, friends,
interests, hobbies, etc.) and that should not change. You should not pretend to like something that you do not like, or
give up seeing your mates, or give up something that you love. And you should also feel free to build new abilities or
interests, make new friends, and move forward.
7. Good Communication. Are you going to speak to each other and share the feelings that matter to you? Don't
keep your emotions locked up because you are afraid your partner does not even need to hear about it. And if you need
some time to think about something before you are ready to talk about it, you will be provided some space by the right
person to do that.
10 Things That Are Unacceptable in Any Relationship
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and we all have to compromise a little to make them work. But if your
partner consistently does the following, it might be time to think twice.
1. Cheating
If you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, cheating should be out of the question. Many people will say
infidelity is a deal-breaker. However, others will decide to stay with their partners after an affair, and, under the right
circumstances, it is possible to heal the relationship. If you do decide to maintain the relationship, your partner says they
will never cheat again, and they do, it’s likely that they will continue to break trust.
4. Controlling
You should have a life outside of your relationship, away from your partner. It is not their place to tell you who you can
see, when you can see them, what to eat, or how to dress. This controlling behavior can be a warning sign of physical
abuse and should be taken seriously.
5. Lack of communication
You will never be able grow together if you don’t discuss your wants and needs. You both need to feel comfortable
openly expressing your feelings, good and bad, otherwise you might begin to resent each other.
6. Unnecessary sacrifices
Compromise is a must in a relationship, but if you feel like you’re giving up everything, while your significant other is
sacrificing nothing, something’s not right. Have you heard someone say they got rid of their pet because the fiancé
didn’t like cats? Or quit their job, left their family and moved to other places for someone who wouldn’t do the same for
them. These should serve as your red flags or warning signs that there is something wrong in how your significant other
treats you.
7. Unreliability
When your cellphone is not working, you need advice, or you’ve just had a bad day and need a hug, do they come to
your aid? If they’re not there for you when you need them the most, think twice: why are you with them?
9. Self-destruction
Sometimes we fall for people who are in rough situations. Though it can be difficult, it’s important to be there for
your lived ones during these times and encourage them to seek help if necessary. However, if they are engaging in
destructive behavior that is negatively affecting you, and they refuse to seek help, you might want to consider leaving.
There is only so much you can do, and it is not your fault that they are not willing to help themselves.
Personal Development
Quarter 2 – _Module 2:
Personal Relationship – Attraction, Love, and Commitment
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
— Lao Tzu
Having and building relationship with others is natural, yet sometimes, it could be challenging and
confusing.
Attraction
The Merriam-Webster dictionary, collegiately defined attraction as: the action or power of evoking interest,
pleasure, or liking for someone or something; and a quality or feature that evokes interest, liking, or desire.
Having this definition, it could be said that attraction is a positive connection between two or more people that
share something in common, like interests, likes/dislikes, or desires. Some qualities may catch your attention, and which
could spark a certain kind of relationship.
When you have a positive attitude or evaluation regarding a particular person in relation to different
components, that is interpersonal attraction. For many, interpersonal attraction relates only between two people
having an intimate and romantic relationship. However, it is not only limited to such since it may also transpire between
friends, colleagues, family members, and others.
There are a lot of key components of attraction that may be the reason for someone liking others. Some of those
are:
Physical Attractiveness
Attractive people draw out a more positive first impression. Initially, people tend to be influenced by what they
see. Even the younger ones prefer to look at faces those adults consider attractive rather than at opposite ones
(Langlois, et.al. 1991). Our perception of beauty, though, differs from one another since it can be influenced by culture,
educational background, social status, etc. Everyone has his/her idea of what or who is attractive based on physical
appearance.
Facial features like the shape and color of the eyes, the nose, the lips, and even the cheekbones and jaw have an
impact when talking with another person or people; the built of the body, the color of the hair, the complexion, the
smoothness of the skin, and the smile also may be considered with impact as these are the first things available elements
presented even without interaction. It could also be added that certain similarities in facial and bodily symmetry or
resemblance with anyone they knew, with someone they like, or with a person they used to talk with, could also be
determinants of liking another person or people.
Similarity
When you are asked by your teacher to select a partner for an activity, who do you usually choose? Why? The
common answer might be a friend who used to be with you, perhaps, because there is a connection between the two of
you that you do not have with others. We can say that you are “on the same wavelength” that is why you find it easy to
get along with him/her because you share the same interests and opinions.
Many researches support that similarity causes attraction. Oftentimes, people classify other people based on
information they already knew about them. That is social categorization, wherein, people mentally group others on
where they belong and that with the same characteristics with them, like group age, religion, personality, attitude, social
status, or education. Thus, this social categorization has a negative effect. When people rely too much on that mentality,
it results to stereotyping, where someone is being judged by others only because they were part of a specific group they
knew and not based on who he/she is.
Proximity
One of the important aspects of any relationship is distance. Proximity pertains to physical distance with other
people and it is related to functional distance (how often people interact or communicate with each other). The more you
encounter or interact with the person, the more you allow yourself to get to know him/her better which leads to a better
relationship like friendship or intimate relationship. Most likely, the people always near you just like your classmate or
neighbor has a big tendency to become your friend.
Reciprocity
We tend to get along with people or with someone whom we have the same feelings toward. It is called
reciprocity. It is when feelings with someone are being reciprocated or returned in the same way as you do. According to
Brannan and Mohr, authors of one of the modules of in the book of Together: The Science of Social Psychology,
“Another way to think of it is that relationships are built on a give and take; if one side is not reciprocating then the
relationship is doomed.” These may happen in any relationship, with friends, classmates, family members, or romantic
partners.
The attraction is something that may happen in different ways, with different people, and in different
circumstances, and may lead to a much deeper connection or relation with others.
Love
It appears that the word Love has many meanings. Some definitions in the Meriam-Webster dictionary are:
1. (a) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties;
(b) attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers;
(c) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
2. An assurance of affection
Any discussion about love piques the curiosity and interest of young adults your age. It may differ depending on
one’s knowledge of love, though. Sometimes, it may affect the emotional and psychological being of a person, thus
influencing his/her emotion toward another. This emotional bond depends on the presence or absence of support from
others.
According to Sue Carter and Stephen Porges, Love is one of the important components of a complex
neurochemical system that allows the body to adapt tohighly emotional situations.”. Some elements are responsible for
the deep and strong bonds of a person with others that resulted to love.
One of the accountable chemicals for the connection of two individuals like between mother and child inside her
womb and even after giving birth is Oxytocin (Keverne, 2006). It is a peptide also known as the love hormone, a female
reproduction hormone, which helps to deepen the connection between mother and child through breastfeeding. It is
transmitted to the brain tissue of the child that allows and creates a strong bond between them. This is the reason why it
is considered as the first form of love. Together with Oxytocin, Endorphin, Serotonin, and Dopamine are so called, “feel-
good” chemicals that promote strong connections/bonds between people since it releases during happy moments.
Another element that promotes love is Vasopressin. It is also a peptide that conveys the behavior of an
individual’s social engagement (Kenkel, etal, 2012). One of its roles is to produce a behavior of developing stable,
loving, and long-term relationship with others.
The studies of Cohen 2007; Fisher et. al, 2009 explained that the serotonin production of newly-in-love individuals
increases up to 40% just like with the brain of a drug addict. And, when a person experiences heartbreak, the brain
processes just like an addict quitting a heroin habit.
In the book of Principles of Social Psychology – _1st International Edition by Dr. Charles Strangor, he explaines Robert
Sternberg’s proposed Triangular Model of Love. It says that there are seven (7) different types of Love, and each type
consists of the combinations of variables (Cognitive, Physiological and Affective variables) that are specified in Three (3)
different components/factors: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. (see figure 1)
Intimacy is consisting of affective variables such as closeness, caring, and emotional support; Passion consists of
physiological and affective variables like physical attraction, emotional responses that promote physiological changes,
and sexual arousal; and Commitment is a cognitive process and decision to dedicate love to another individual with the
willingness to keep the relationship lasts (Brannan, D. & Mohr, C. D., 2020).
Since love has its different types, we could say that it may happen any time, to any individual, at a different level
with people around us like friends, classmates, neighbors, family members, etc. The quality of a relationship is how both
partners relate to each other. There are different ways in showing love with our loved ones or partners and are
emphasized in Three (3) attachment styles we display when we interact with our parents, our friends, and our romantic
partners (Eastwick & Finkel, 2008).
Secure Attachment Style – _a healthy style wherein the children used to receive care and easily communicate
with the parents since they feel that they are always available to listen and keep them safe.
Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style - when children are lacking or seeking more affection from parents
because they are too dependent on them.
Avoidant Attachment Style – _it is when children are distant to the parent/s, sometimes due to unpleasant
experiences. These attachment styles have a big effect or impact on how an individual perceived and expresses behavior
with or towards others.
Commitment
You already have an idea of what attraction is, how it happens, and how it grows, also the types of love and how
each type related and comprised with. Now, let us have the commitment and how this thing may happen and how it will
last.
It is a long-term relationship between individuals. A more complex relationship that resulted to increasingly turn
to each other not only for social support but also for help in coordinating activities, remembering dates and
appointments, and accomplishing tasks (Wegner, Erber, & Raymond, 1991). Many people say that for you to be able to
have a successful relationship, you should know your similarities and differences; understand your partner’s needs and
desires; and invest time and effort to work things out and last for a lifetime.
Dr. Rajiv Jhangiani and Dr. Hammond Tarry reiterated the Slotter et al., 2011that “commitment refers to the feelings and
action that keep partners working together to maintain the relationship.” Any relationship will last through the
cooperation of both parties, without this, the relationship will not last and ends with breaking up.
Commitment is a choice, a long and not an easy process that needs to be participated by you and your partner
Various people have a certain impact in different aspects of your life. It may be different in level and differ from
who or how that person relates to our life.
Expressing our attraction, love, and commitment to a specific person is different on how we express it with a
different set of people. A good example of this is how you might be open in expressing your admiration with your
romantic partner yet be discreet or reserved in saying or expressing your feeling with your family members. This
difference may be interpreted differently by others, as well. For whatever reasons, even non-verbally, expressing our love
to our support system (people dear to us) is important and we should continuously communicate with them and never
fail to express that we are grateful with them being in our side.
Below are some collected ideas on how to exercise expressing affections and developed into a commitment for
any kinds of relationship. These may serve as tips on how to keep healthy relationships with others.
Stay happy. Happiness gives you the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract and concrete things.
Be empathic. Empathizing with another is acting with greater cooperation and overall selflessness—the desire to help,
even at a potential cost to the self.
Keep open communication. It provides an opportunity to size up the trustworthiness of a person by verbally
committing to cooperate with another.
Always trust. Working with others toward a common goal requires a level of faith that others will repay our hard work
and generosity. Supporting their interests is also showing your trust.
Show respect. People are likely to give respect to others by being polite, honest, and by showing kindness all the
time.
Be a helping hand. In times of trouble (e.g., mentally/ emotionally), make him/her feel that he/she always has you on
his/her side.
Personal Development
Quarter 2 – _Module 3:
Becoming Responsible in Personal Relationships
Importance of Relationship
Valuing the feelings of our family, friends, and partner or significant other can only be evident if we open our
eyes to realize the importance of that relationship. Now, the question lies with “How do we see the importance of
relationship? The significance of any relationship can never be realized if we cannot see the beauty that it brings in our
lives. The moment we realize how relationships actually shape us as a person is the moment that we realize the
importance of relationships in our interactions and behavior.
1. Lead us to make healthy relationships. All kinds of relationships can give you the opportunities to establish a
stronger relationship with your shared experiences and feelings with your loved ones.
2. Help us see our potential. People who love you will always see the wonderful things in you. Through this loving
and supportive atmosphere, you little by little grow as a person, seeing your worth with your capabilities and unique gift
and talent.
3. Boost our confidence. It makes you feel you are the luckiest person in the world whenever someone trusts you
sufficiently enough. It makes your spirit enthusiastic and gives you the delightful feeling of self-assurance.
4. Give you a sense of direction. The idea and feeling of sense of belongingness is such a great source of direction.
If you care to give yourself the reward of having a good life and reputation, you will absolutely do more for the people
you dearly love.
5. Clear our life goals and aspirations. Relationships will help you focus on one goal and concentrate in achieving
it because as the sun sets you know you have someone whom you can pleasingly offer and share the blissful feeling of a
victorious life with.
6. Build a beautiful person within you. Having all the positive attitudes towards life and oneself can really create a
good aura. Portraying good personalities can even make you appear and feel young and lovely.
1. Mutual Respect
Lack of respect absolutely brings people to an unpleasant environment and pushes people from respecting one
another and themselves, too. Establishing mutual respect is easier when one is guided by the virtue of the Golden Rule
once uttered by Jesus of Nazareth explicitly stated in Matthew 7:12 which has direct English Translation “Do unto others
what you would want others to do unto you.” This may be simply interpreted by the famous line “Respect begets
respect.”
This line means a person shall not trespass in his rights or put someone down when he/she is wrong. We
certainly know how well we should respect people but whenever we are in a relationship. We tend to forget that
constant nagging, scolding and blaming are equal to humiliating someone and equates to disrespecting him/her.
It is essential to consider this So in order for us to gain respect from our loved ones or vice versa, we should
instead use encouraging words and learn the art of acceptance to someone’s unique personality or traits and practice
the principle of forgive and forget.
4. Well-Communicated Love
Love we felt may certainly start any form of relationship. However, it is not the thing that can keep it. Love is just
a feeling. What really keeps any relationship is the love that is well-communicated.
Open communication is one of the most essential elements for any kind of relationship to keep it going. How
can we say that our love is well-communicated? A tap on a shoulder, a kiss on a cheek, a very encouraging smile, a
simple hug, may just be some of the most genuine and sincerest ways of expressing your love towards one another.
Means of showing well-communicated love may seem to be very simple for everyone, but in reality, it requires
lot of effort. It is not easy to consistently cheer someone up when you yourself are having a hard time. Though, that thing
per se can make your actions look so genuine and worthy of being cherished.
Leadership is a primary vehicle in fulfilling the goal of a team. It is a social influence relationship between two or
more persons. Becoming a good leader is not an overnight process or just attending a one –day seminar workshop. It
requires willingness to devote your time wholeheartedly to managing, helping, and coaching your team without
compromising your family time. In short, leadership is a two-way process; leaders and constituents may work together to
get things done easily and smoothly.
A Role defines a set of norms, values, behaviors, and personality characteristics attached to a status such as leader,
follower, or club president. Every leader assumes role in a society. They are expected to behave a pattern usually
determined by individuals in the society.
To become a great leader, you must be a good follower. This will give high impact to a society. you must have
the important leadership qualities that can affect constituents and can be developed by anyone:
2. Assume and do responsibility - you should be guided by your own duties and responsibilities. Be proactive in
guiding, teaching, and developing excellence in everyone.
3. Show Initiative- find out what needs to be done. do not wait for anyone to tell you what to do.
4. Life-long learner- capacitate yourself. Learn everything you need to know about the current job.
5. Show enthusiasm- if you come to work happy and cheerful, it provides motivation. Enthusiasm is contagious. Never
let personal issues affect your performance.
6. Willing to serve- this quality is known of a servant leader. Showing this kind of characteristics can inspire thought
and action of your own constituents.
7. Active listener- to become an active listener, you must maintain an eye contact. Pay attention to facial expressions
and body language, and start a sentence with “I” instead of “You”. This will enhance a good communication and
understanding.
8. Show empathy- Try to understand where people are coming from and their point of view. Put yourself in the other
people’s shoes.
9. Be sensitive to the need of others- as a good leader, you must be the one who should know and feel the needs
of your constituents.
10. Delegate work- sharing work among members at the organization should be divided into a manageable task.
Explain completely what you are asking the person to do.
11. Learn to appreciate- If someone has done great with the assigned tasks, be sure to let them feel they are
appreciated. Simply saying thanks will do. This will motivate them to work hard.
12. Be patient- Do not get easily annoyed if untoward incident happens. hold your temper. This might require
constant practice.
Leadership qualities are not exclusive to leaders. Some of these may found in the followership. A great leader
encourages teamwork. Followership plays an essential part of the leadership equation. Followers are team that can
contribute success in your leadership.
Followership means when people express words, actions, respect, and support to a leader. But what are the role of a
follower?
2. Courage to challenge- If the leader’s actions contradict the best interest of the organization, effective follower
takes a stand. Do not sacrifice your own integrity or the good of the organization just to maintain harmony.
3. Courage to participate in transformation- Effective followers view the struggle of change and transformation as
a mutual experience shared by all
members, support the leader and does not afraid to confront the changes.
4. A can-do attitude- A leader’s job become smoother when he or she has followers who are positive and self-
motivated, can get things done, accept responsibility, excels in required tasks, and willingly accept difficult assignment.
5. A collaborative approach- Each follower is a part of the leader’s larger system and should realize that his or her
action affect the whole. Work effectively as a team member.
6. Courage to serve and subservient- Effective follower understands the needs of the organizations and seek to
serve those who need.
7. The passion to drive personal growth- Leaders want followers who seek to enhance their own growth and
development rather than depending on the leader to do it.