Personal Development

Quarter 2 – Module 18:

Personal Relationship –
Attraction, Love, and Commitment
Personal Development
Alternative Delivery Mode
Quarter 2 – Module 18: Personal Relationship - Attraction, Love, and Commitment
First Edition, 2020

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Published by the Department of Education

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Undersecretary: Diosdado M. San Antonio

Development Team of the Module

Writer: Liezel B. Aling

Editor: Cesar Chester Relleve
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Personal Development
Quarter 2 – Module 18:
Personal Relationship –
Attraction, Love, and Commitment
Introductory Message
For the facilitator:

Welcome to the Personal Development Alternative Delivery Mode (ADM)

Module on Personal Relationship - Attraction, Love, and Commitment!

This module was collaboratively designed, developed and reviewed by

educators both from public and private institutions to assist you, the teacher or
facilitator in helping the learners meet the standards set by the K to 12 Curriculum
while overcoming their personal, social, and economic constraints in schooling.

This learning resource hopes to engage the learners into guided and
independent learning activities at their own pace and time. Furthermore, this also
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consideration their needs and circumstances.

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Notes to the Teacher

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will help you in guiding the learners.

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module. You also need to keep track of the learners' progress while allowing them to
manage their own learning. Furthermore, you are expected to encourage and assist
the learners as they do the tasks included in the module.

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For the learner:
Welcome to the Personal Development Alternative Delivery Mode (ADM)
Module on Personal Relationship - Attraction, Love, and Commitment!
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 This is a task which aims to evaluate
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 What I Need to Know

This material was crafted to give you – learners, the right amount of assistance
for you to absorb and acquire all the necessary concepts and nature comprising
oneself. Lessons are bounded on the performance and content standard, learning
competencies and level of the learners. This also used languages appropriate to the
understanding of the varied types of students’ learning acquisition. Sequence of the
lessons adhered to the arrangement of the competencies as reflected on the DepEd’s
curriculum guide for this course.

Lesson Title: Personal Relationship - Attraction, Love, and Commitment

MELC: Express your ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment.

After going through this module, you are expected to:

1. Express your ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment .
1.1. Determine and explain ways of showing attraction, love, and
commitment; and
1.2. Determine the importance of expressing attraction, love and
commitment; and

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 What I Know

Choose the letter of the best answer. Write the chosen letter on a separate
sheet of paper.

1. People tend to be influenced by what they see. It can be a positive or negative

impression toward one’s appearance.
a. physical appearance c. reciprocity
b. proximity d. similarity

2. It is considered as the first form of love.

a. husband and wife c. relationship with friends
b. mother and child d. teacher and students

3. It pertains to physical and functional distance.

a. physical appearance c. reciprocity
b. proximity d. similarity

4. Which component of love consists affective variables like emotional support

and caring?
a. romantic love c. intimacy
b. commitment d. passion

5. A type of love which comprises the 3 components of love.

a. liking c. empty love
b. fatuous d. consummate love

6. Attachment style wherein a child is too dependent to the parents and seeks
more attention from them.
a. anxious/ambivalent attachment style
b. romantic love style
c. secure attachment style
d. avoidance attachment style

7. Which among the choices below is NOT considered as one of the ways in
expressing commitment with others?
a. empathy c. respect
b. trust d. secrecy

8. People usually tend to choose others to be with them because they have
things in common.
a. physical appearance c. similarity
b. proximity d. reciprocity

9. A strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

a. love c. commitment
b. respect d. attraction

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10. Which of the following is NOT one of the types of love according to R.
Sternberg?
a. infatuation c. companionate
b. reciprocity d. fatuous

11. This refers to a more complex long-term relationship.

a. commitment c. proximity
b. intimacy d. passion

12. He proposed the Triangular Model of Love.

a. Brannan c. Dr. Strangor
b. Fisher d. R. Sternberg

13. It consists of physiological and affective variables like physical attraction and
emotional responses that promote physical changes.
a. commitment c. passion
b. intimacy d. romantic love

14. In this attachment style, the child used to receive right affection from parent.
He/she feels protected and parents are available anytime.
a. Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style
b. Romantic Love Style
c. Secure Attachment Style
d. Avoidant Attachment Style

15. Which of the following best describes Oxytocin?

a. It is one of the four “feel-good chemicals that promotes strong
connections between individuals.
b. It is a peptide that conveys a behavior of individual.
c. It produces sad hormones secreted in the brain.
d. It produces a behavior of developing stable, loving, and long-term
relationship.

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 Lesson
Personal Development:
18 Personal Relationship

Making time for one another is vital to keep the relationship healthy and the
process of give and take are great ways to sustain a relationship (Miller, 2008).

Relationship needs to be dealt with mindful and careful consideration.

Keeping a good relationship with people will help you grow in some ways.
In this lesson, you will learn how people express feelings and emotions by
reflecting on ways we do to express attraction, love, and commitment.

What’s In

Below are different expressions of yours toward other people. Now, think of a
particular person that first comes in your mind when you feel such expression. Put
their name under each face or just write how you are related to them (example: “Jose”
or if you want, just “best friend”). Write your answers on a separate sheet of paper
with a brief explanation. After the given time, explain your answer to the facilitator
or to your classmates.

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 What’s New

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone
deeply gives you courage. —Lao Tzu
Having and building relationship with others is natural, yet sometimes, it
could be challenging and confusing.

In this module, you will learn that there are elements hidden behind the idea
of being in a relationship with others, how it starts, and how it grows. By discussing
and defining some important concepts, you will be able to gain ideas on important
these factors are to personal relationship.
Attraction

The Merriam-Webster dictionary, collegiately defined attraction as: the action

or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something; and
a quality or feature that evokes interest, liking, or desire.
Having this definition, it could be said that attraction is a positive connection
between two or more people that share something in common, like interests,
likes/dislikes, or desires. Some qualities may catch your attention and which could
spark a certain kind of relationship.
When you have a positive attitude or evaluation regarding a particular person
in relation to different components, that is interpersonal attraction. For many,
interpersonal attraction relates only between two people having an intimate and
romantic relationship. However, it is not only limited to such since it may also
transpire between friends, colleagues, family members, and others.
There are a lot of key components of attraction that may be the reason for
someone liking others. Some of those are:

Physical Attractiveness

Attractive people draw out a more positive first impression. Initially, people
tend to be influenced by what they see. Even the younger ones prefer to look at faces
that adults consider attractive rather than at opposite ones (Langlois, et.al. 1991).
Our perception of beauty, though, differs from one another since it can be influenced
by culture, educational background, social status, etc. Everyone has his/her idea of
what or who is attractive based on physical appearance.

Facial features like the shape and color of the eyes, the nose, the lips, and
even the cheekbones and jaw have an impact when talking with another person or
people; the built of the body, the color of the hair, the complexion, the smoothness
of the skin, and the smile also may be considered with impact as these are the first
things available elements presented even without interaction. It could also be added
that certain similarities in facial and bodily symmetry or resemblance with anyone
they knew, with someone they like, or with a person they used to talk with, could
also be determinants of liking another person or people.

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Similarity

When you are tasked by your teacher to select a partner for an activity, who
do you usually choose? Why? The common answer might be a friend who used to be
with you, perhaps, because there is a connection between the two of you that you do
not have with others. We can say that you are “on the same wavelength” that is why
you find it easy to get along with him/her because you share the same interests and
opinions.

Many researches support that similarity causes attraction. Oftentimes, people

classify other people based on information they already knew about them. That is
social categorization, wherein, people mentally group others on where they belong
and that with the same characteristics with them, like group age, religion,
personality, attitude, social status, or education. Thus, this social categorization has
a negative effect. When people rely too much on that mentality, it results to
stereotyping, where someone is being judged by others only because they were part
of a specific group they knew and not based on who he/she is.

Proximity
One of the important aspects of any relationship is distance. Proximity
pertains to physical distance with other people and it is related to functional distance
(how often people interact or communicate with each other). The more you encounter
or interact with the person, the more you allow yourself to get to know him/her better
which leads to a better relationship like friendship or intimate relationship. Most
likely, the people always near you just like your classmate or neighbor has a big
tendency to become your friend.
Reciprocity

We tend to get along with people or with someone whom we have the same
feelings toward. It is called reciprocity. It is when feelings with someone are being
reciprocated or returned in the same way as you do. According to Brannan and Mohr,
authors of one of the modules of in the book of Together: The Science of Social
Psychology, “Another way to think of it is that relationships are built on a give and
take; if one side is not reciprocating, then the relationship is doomed”. These may
happen in any relationship, with friends, classmates, family members, or romantic
partners.
The attraction is something that may happen in different ways, with different
people, and in different circumstances, and may lead to a much deeper connection
or relation with others.

Love

It appears that the word Love has many meanings. Some definitions in the
Meriam-Webster dictionary are:
1. (a) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties;
(b) attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers;
(c) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.

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 2. An assurance of affection
Any discussion about love piques the curiosity and interest of young adults
your age. It may differ depending on one’s experience and knowledge of love, though.
Sometimes, it may affect the emotional and psychological being of a person, thus
influencing his/her emotion toward another. This emotional bond depends on the
presence or absence of support from others.

According to Sue Carter and Stephen Porges, “love is one of the important
components of a complex neurochemical system that allows the body to adapt to
highly emotional situations”. Some elements are responsibles for the deep and strong
bonds of a person with others that resulted to love.

One of the accountable chemicals for the connection of two individuals like
between mother and child inside her womb and even after giving birth is Oxytocin
(Keverne, 2006). It is a peptide also known as the love hormone, a female
reproduction hormone, which helps to deepen the connection between mother and
child through breastfeeding. It is transmitted to the brain tissue of the child that
allows and creates a strong bond between them. This is the reason why it is
considered as the first form of love. Together with Oxytocin, Endorphin, Serotonin,
and Dopamine are so-called “feel good” chemicals that promote strong
connections/bonds between people since it releases during happy moments.

Another element that promotes love is Vasopressin. It is also a peptide that

conveys the behavior of an individual’s social engagement (Kenkel et al, 2012). One
of its roles is to produce a behavior of developing stable, loving, and long-term
relationship with others.
The studies of Cohen 2007; Fisher et. al, 2009 explained that the serotonin
production of newly-in-love individuals increases up to 40% just like with the brain
of a drug addict. And, when a person experiences heartbreak, the brain processes
just like an addict quitting a heroin habit.

In the book of Principles of Social Psychology – 1st International Edition by

Dr. Charles Strangor, he explained Robert Sternberg’s proposed Triangular Model of
Love. It says that there are seven (7) different types of Love and each type consists of
the combinations of variables (Cognitive, Physiological and Affective variables) that
are specified in Three (3) different components/factors: Intimacy, Passion, and
Commitment. (see figure 1)

Intimacy is consisting of affective variables such as closeness, caring, and

emotional support; Passion is consist of physiological and affective variables like
physical attraction, emotional responses that promote physiological changes, and
sexual arousal; and Commitment is a cognitive process and decision to dedicate love
to another individual with the willingness to keep the relationship lasts (Brannan, D.
& Mohr, C. D., 2020).

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 INTIMACY

Liking
(intimacy alone)

Romantic Love Companionate

(Intimacy + Love
Passion) (Intimacy +
Consummate Commitment)
Love
(intimacy + Passion
+ Commitment)

Infatuation Empty Love

(Passion (Commitment
alone) alone)
Fatuous Love
PASSION Passion + Commitment) COMMITMENT

Figure 1: Robert Sternberg’s Triangular (Theory) Model of Love, adapted from the book
of Principles of Social Psychology – 1st International Edition of Dr. Charles Strangor.

Since love has its different types, we could say that it may happen any time,
to any individual, at a different level with people around us like friends, classmates,
neighbors, family members, etc. The quality of a relationship is how both partners
relate to each other. There are different ways in showing love with our loved ones or
partners and are emphasized in Three (3) attachment styles we display when we
interact with our parents, our friends, and our romantic partners (Eastwick & Finkel,
2008).

Secure Attachment Style – a healthy style wherein the children used to receive
care and easily communicate with the parents since they feel that they are always
available to listen and keep them safe. Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style - when
children are lacking or seeking more affection from parents because they are too
dependent on them. Avoidant Attachment Style – it is when children are distant to
the parent/s, sometimes due to unpleasant experiences. These attachment styles
have a big effect or impact on how an individual perceived and expresses behavior
with or towards others.

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Commitment

You already have an idea of what attraction is, how it happens, and how it
grows, also the types of love and how each type related and comprised with. Now, let
us have the commitment and how this thing may happen and how it will last.

It is a long-term relationship between individuals. A more complex relationship

that resulted to increasingly turn to each other not only for social support but also
for help in coordinating activities, remembering dates and appointments, and
accomplishing tasks (Wegner, Erber, & Raymond, 1991). Many people say that for
you to be able to have a successful relationship, you should know your similarities
and differences; understand your partner’s needs and desires; and invest time and
effort to work things out and last for a lifetime.
Dr. Rajiv Jhangiani and Dr. Hammond Tarry reiterated the Slotter et al., 2011
that “commitment refers to the feelings and action that keep partners working
together to maintain the relationship”. Any relationship will last through the
cooperation of both parties, without this, the relationship will not last and ends with
breaking up.
Commitment is a choice, a long and not an easy process that needs to be
participated by you and your partner.

What is It

Various people have a certain impact in different aspects of your life. It may
be different in level and differ from who or how that person relates to our life.

Expressing our attraction, love, and commitment to a specific person is

definitely different on how we express it with a different set of people. A good example
of this is how you are might be open in expressing your admiration with your
romantic partner, yet be discreet or reserved in saying or expressing your feeling with
your family members. This difference may be interpreted differently by others, as
well. For whatever reasons, even non-verbally, expressing our love to our support
system (people dear to us) is important and we should continuously communicate
with them and never fail to express that we are grateful with them being in our side.

Below are some collected ideas on how to exercise expressing affections and
developed into a commitment for any kinds of relationship. These may serve as tips
on how to keep healthy relationships with others.

Stay happy. Happiness gives you the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract and
concrete things.
Be empathic. Empathizing with another is acting with greater cooperation and
overall altruism—the desire to help, even at a potential cost to the self.

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Keep open communication. It provides an opportunity to size up the
trustworthiness of a person by verbally committing to cooperate with another.
Always trust. Working with others toward a common goal requires a level of faith
that others will repay our hard work and generosity. Supporting their interests is
also showing your trust.
Show respect. People are likely to give respect to others by being polite, honest, and
by showing kindness all the time.

Be a helping hand. In times of trouble (e.g. mentally/ emotionally), make him/her

feel that he/she always has you on his/her side.

Notes to the Teacher

As facilitator kindly ask the learner to answer the questions to deepen
their understanding on the topic before allowing him/her to proceed with the
activity. You may ask the questions below or opt to use your preferred questions.

1. What type of love are you experiencing right now? Why did you say so?
2. How do you show your attraction, love and commitment to your love ones?
Enumerate each.
3. Given the chance to advise others how they can express their commitment
for the relationship to last, what would that be and why?

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 What’s More

Activity 1.1 Past and Present

For you to be able to strengthen your understanding on our topic, let us have
the activity which will provide you an opportunity to identify how teenagers from the
past expressed their affections compared to your generation and its importance.

Your goal is to create a list on how teenagers from 30 years ago, express their
attraction, love, and commitment toward others by talking to someone in age of
50’s

You are encouraged to interview your parent/guardian or an older one for what
they have experienced from the past and what are their observations in today’s
generation on their ways of showing and expressing their attraction, love, and
commitment with others.
After gathering your needed information, compare it with your own opinion.
Share those by presenting your work with your classmates and/or
teacher/facilitator.

You are opted to use any materials that you think may help you show you
creativity in presenting your list. You can use but are not limited to any sheet
of paper. Please also be reminded that the maximum number of pages for your
work is 2-3 pages.

Your work will be graded based on the clarity of idea and the way you presented
in class or teacher. You can use Powerpoint presentation, video or graphic
organizer.

Activity 1.2 As Appreciation

Giving something to a person dear to you is a sign of appreciation. This is also
counted as expressing affections towards others. The value of an object or thing is
measured by its appreciation than its monetary amount. Now, let us show
appreciation to others by giving them something that is precious to you.

Think at least four (4) objects or things that are very much important to you.
Write the name of each object in a 1/8 sheet together with its recipient. After the
given time, the facilitator will allow you to share your reasons with your selected
classmate or if applicable, with the members of your family.

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 What I Have Learned
One of the objectives of this module is for you to understand the concept and
importance of letting yourself express your attraction, love and commitment to
others. Some up your gained ideas and knowledge by completing the statements in
each box below.

I know that
________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

I learned
___________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

I realized
__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

My plan
___________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

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 What I Can Do

In the beginning of this module, it is stated that there are many reasons
why someone is liking or loving other people and, there are many ways to express
someone’s affection toward others. In this activity, you are going to express your best
way of expressing your attraction love or showing commitment to someone by
creating a mini poster out of cut-outs from magazines, newspapers or other printed
materials. Your mini poster should be done on a short bond paper and must
showcase your ways of expressing affections to develop a long term-relationship.
Write a brief explanation of your work at the back of your mini poster.

Name: {Title} Section:

Notes to the Teacher

As facilitator kindly ask the learner to discuss his/her output by sharing
the result and his/her insights with the activities or you may ask questions.

(sample questions)
1. What are your ways in express your attraction for someone?
2. How you express your love to someone?
3. How you show your commitment to the person/s?

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 Assessment

Multiple Choice. Choose the letter of the best answer. Write the chosen letter on a
separate sheet of paper.

1. Personal Relationship is the ______________.

a. choice of a person to be engaged in a certain kind of relationship.
b. kind of interaction one makes when dealing in an intimate group of
people.
c. close connection between the people formed by emotional bonds and
interaction.
d. type of person’s involvement in the community where he/she grows to
be a good individual.

2. Romantic Relationship is characterized by ______________.

a. happy experiences shared by individuals
b. mutual love and respect shared by the couples
c. sympathy rendered by individuals towards one another
d. sense of belongingness felt by individuals with each other

3. Which of the following is NOT part of so called “feel good” chemicals?

a. Oxydicin c. Serotonin
b. Endorphin d. Dopamine

4. What do you call the feelings and action that keep partners working together
to maintain a relationship?
a. Affection c. Commitment
b. Attraction d. Love

5. Infatuation comprises ________________.

a. Intimacy and Commitment c. Passion only
b. Commitment and passion d. Intimacy only

6. Which type of love consist of passion and commitment?

a. Romantic Love c. Liking
b. Fatuous Love d. Companionate

7. According to Sue and Porges, it is one of the important components of a

complex neurochemical system that allows the body to adapt to highly
emotional situation.
a. Affection c. Commitment
b. Attraction d. Love

8. It happens when the feeling is being returned by someone the same way as
you do.
a. Physical appearance c. Reciprocity
b. Proximity d. Similarity

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9. Which of the following pertains to a physical distance between two
individuals?
a. Physical appearance
b. Proximity
c. Reciprocity
d. Similarity

10. What best describes avoidant attachment style?

a. It can be due to unpleasant experience
b. The child feels more safe
c. Lacking affection
d. Communicated with parent

11. It is the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract and concrete things.

a. Happiness
b. Empathy
c. Communication
d. Respect

12. Which of the following is a cognitive process and decision to dedicate love to
another individual with willingness to keep it lasts?
a. Affection
b. Attraction
c. Commitment
d. Love

13. It is an element that help promote love that produces a behavior of loving and
lasting relationship.
a. Oxydicin
b. Endorphin
c. Serotonin
d. Vasopressin

14. Which of the following provides an opportunity to an individual to verbally

committing to cooperate with others?
a. Happiness
b. Empathy
c. Communication
d. Respect

15. Which peptide is known as love hormone?

a. Oxytocin
b. Endorphin
c. Serotonin
d. Vasopressin

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 Additional Activities

“Reasons of Attraction”

The following components of attractions are the reasons of someone in liking

others. Based on you own characteristics and understanding of yourself, how do you
usually get easily attracted to someone? Arrange the components of attraction by
putting numbers 1 to 4, 1 will be your most common and usual reasons you got
attracted and explain your reasons. Write your answers in a separate sheet.

Components of
Attractions
Rank Reason

Physical
Attractiveness

Proximity

Reciprocity

Similarity

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 Answer Key

A 15. A 15.
C 14. C 14.
D 13. C 13.
D 12. D 12.
A 11. A 11.
A 10. B 10.
B 9. A 9.
C 8. C 8.
D 7. D 7.
B 6. A 6.
C 5. D 5.
C 4. C 4.
A 3. B 3.
B 2. B 2.
C 1. A 1.
Assessment What I Know

References

“Attraction.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Accessed June 8, 2020.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/attraction.
“Love.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love
Jhangiani , Dr. Rajiv, and Dr. Hammond Tarry. “Principles of Social Psychology –
1ST INTERNATIONAL EDITION : Charles Stangor, Rajiv Jhangiani, Hammond
Tarry : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming.” Internet Archive, 1 Jan. 1970,
archive.org/details/PrinciplesOfSocialPsychology.
Brannan, D, and C. D. Mohr. “Love, Friendship, and Social Support.” Noba. IL:
DEF publishers. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://nobaproject.com/modules/love-friendship-and-social-support.
Carter, S., and S. Porges. “Biochemistry of Love.” Noba. IL: DEF publishers, 2020.
https://nobaproject.com/modules/biochemistry-of-love.
Diener, E. “Happiness: the science of subjective well-being.” Noba textbook series:
Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://nobaproject.com/modules/happiness-the-science-of-subjective-well-
being#content
Moskowitz, J. P. & Piff, P. K. “Cooperation” Noba textbook series:
Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers, 2020
https://nobaproject.com/modules/cooperation.

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