Personal Development: Quarter 2 - Module 18
Personal Development: Quarter 2 - Module 18
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This learning resource hopes to engage the learners into guided and
independent learning activities at their own pace and time. Furthermore, this also
aims to help learners acquire the needed 21st century skills while taking into
consideration their needs and circumstances.
In addition to the material in the main text, you will also see this box in the
body of the module:
As a facilitator you are expected to orient the learners on how to use this
module. You also need to keep track of the learners' progress while allowing them to
manage their own learning. Furthermore, you are expected to encourage and assist
the learners as they do the tasks included in the module.
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For the learner:
Welcome to the Personal Development Alternative Delivery Mode (ADM)
Module on Personal Relationship - Attraction, Love, and Commitment!
The hand is one of the most symbolic part of the human body. It is often used
to depict skill, action and purpose. Through our hands we may learn, create and
accomplish. Hence, the hand in this learning resource signifies that you as a learner
is capable and empowered to successfully achieve the relevant competencies and
skills at your own pace and time. Your academic success lies in your own hands!
This module was designed to provide you with fun and meaningful
opportunities for guided and independent learning at your own pace and time. You
will be enabled to process the contents of the learning resource while being an active
learner.
This module has the following parts and corresponding icons:
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This is a task which aims to evaluate
Assessment your level of mastery in achieving the
learning competency.
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What I Need to Know
This material was crafted to give you – learners, the right amount of assistance
for you to absorb and acquire all the necessary concepts and nature comprising
oneself. Lessons are bounded on the performance and content standard, learning
competencies and level of the learners. This also used languages appropriate to the
understanding of the varied types of students’ learning acquisition. Sequence of the
lessons adhered to the arrangement of the competencies as reflected on the DepEd’s
curriculum guide for this course.
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What I Know
Choose the letter of the best answer. Write the chosen letter on a separate
sheet of paper.
6. Attachment style wherein a child is too dependent to the parents and seeks
more attention from them.
a. anxious/ambivalent attachment style
b. romantic love style
c. secure attachment style
d. avoidance attachment style
7. Which among the choices below is NOT considered as one of the ways in
expressing commitment with others?
a. empathy c. respect
b. trust d. secrecy
8. People usually tend to choose others to be with them because they have
things in common.
a. physical appearance c. similarity
b. proximity d. reciprocity
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10. Which of the following is NOT one of the types of love according to R.
Sternberg?
a. infatuation c. companionate
b. reciprocity d. fatuous
13. It consists of physiological and affective variables like physical attraction and
emotional responses that promote physical changes.
a. commitment c. passion
b. intimacy d. romantic love
14. In this attachment style, the child used to receive right affection from parent.
He/she feels protected and parents are available anytime.
a. Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style
b. Romantic Love Style
c. Secure Attachment Style
d. Avoidant Attachment Style
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Lesson
Personal Development:
18 Personal Relationship
Making time for one another is vital to keep the relationship healthy and the
process of give and take are great ways to sustain a relationship (Miller, 2008).
What’s In
Below are different expressions of yours toward other people. Now, think of a
particular person that first comes in your mind when you feel such expression. Put
their name under each face or just write how you are related to them (example: “Jose”
or if you want, just “best friend”). Write your answers on a separate sheet of paper
with a brief explanation. After the given time, explain your answer to the facilitator
or to your classmates.
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What’s New
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone
deeply gives you courage. —Lao Tzu
Having and building relationship with others is natural, yet sometimes, it
could be challenging and confusing.
In this module, you will learn that there are elements hidden behind the idea
of being in a relationship with others, how it starts, and how it grows. By discussing
and defining some important concepts, you will be able to gain ideas on important
these factors are to personal relationship.
Attraction
Physical Attractiveness
Attractive people draw out a more positive first impression. Initially, people
tend to be influenced by what they see. Even the younger ones prefer to look at faces
that adults consider attractive rather than at opposite ones (Langlois, et.al. 1991).
Our perception of beauty, though, differs from one another since it can be influenced
by culture, educational background, social status, etc. Everyone has his/her idea of
what or who is attractive based on physical appearance.
Facial features like the shape and color of the eyes, the nose, the lips, and
even the cheekbones and jaw have an impact when talking with another person or
people; the built of the body, the color of the hair, the complexion, the smoothness
of the skin, and the smile also may be considered with impact as these are the first
things available elements presented even without interaction. It could also be added
that certain similarities in facial and bodily symmetry or resemblance with anyone
they knew, with someone they like, or with a person they used to talk with, could
also be determinants of liking another person or people.
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Similarity
When you are tasked by your teacher to select a partner for an activity, who
do you usually choose? Why? The common answer might be a friend who used to be
with you, perhaps, because there is a connection between the two of you that you do
not have with others. We can say that you are “on the same wavelength” that is why
you find it easy to get along with him/her because you share the same interests and
opinions.
Proximity
One of the important aspects of any relationship is distance. Proximity
pertains to physical distance with other people and it is related to functional distance
(how often people interact or communicate with each other). The more you encounter
or interact with the person, the more you allow yourself to get to know him/her better
which leads to a better relationship like friendship or intimate relationship. Most
likely, the people always near you just like your classmate or neighbor has a big
tendency to become your friend.
Reciprocity
We tend to get along with people or with someone whom we have the same
feelings toward. It is called reciprocity. It is when feelings with someone are being
reciprocated or returned in the same way as you do. According to Brannan and Mohr,
authors of one of the modules of in the book of Together: The Science of Social
Psychology, “Another way to think of it is that relationships are built on a give and
take; if one side is not reciprocating, then the relationship is doomed”. These may
happen in any relationship, with friends, classmates, family members, or romantic
partners.
The attraction is something that may happen in different ways, with different
people, and in different circumstances, and may lead to a much deeper connection
or relation with others.
Love
It appears that the word Love has many meanings. Some definitions in the
Meriam-Webster dictionary are:
1. (a) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties;
(b) attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers;
(c) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.
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2. An assurance of affection
Any discussion about love piques the curiosity and interest of young adults
your age. It may differ depending on one’s experience and knowledge of love, though.
Sometimes, it may affect the emotional and psychological being of a person, thus
influencing his/her emotion toward another. This emotional bond depends on the
presence or absence of support from others.
According to Sue Carter and Stephen Porges, “love is one of the important
components of a complex neurochemical system that allows the body to adapt to
highly emotional situations”. Some elements are responsibles for the deep and strong
bonds of a person with others that resulted to love.
One of the accountable chemicals for the connection of two individuals like
between mother and child inside her womb and even after giving birth is Oxytocin
(Keverne, 2006). It is a peptide also known as the love hormone, a female
reproduction hormone, which helps to deepen the connection between mother and
child through breastfeeding. It is transmitted to the brain tissue of the child that
allows and creates a strong bond between them. This is the reason why it is
considered as the first form of love. Together with Oxytocin, Endorphin, Serotonin,
and Dopamine are so-called “feel good” chemicals that promote strong
connections/bonds between people since it releases during happy moments.
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INTIMACY
Liking
(intimacy alone)
Figure 1: Robert Sternberg’s Triangular (Theory) Model of Love, adapted from the book
of Principles of Social Psychology – 1st International Edition of Dr. Charles Strangor.
Since love has its different types, we could say that it may happen any time,
to any individual, at a different level with people around us like friends, classmates,
neighbors, family members, etc. The quality of a relationship is how both partners
relate to each other. There are different ways in showing love with our loved ones or
partners and are emphasized in Three (3) attachment styles we display when we
interact with our parents, our friends, and our romantic partners (Eastwick & Finkel,
2008).
Secure Attachment Style – a healthy style wherein the children used to receive
care and easily communicate with the parents since they feel that they are always
available to listen and keep them safe. Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style - when
children are lacking or seeking more affection from parents because they are too
dependent on them. Avoidant Attachment Style – it is when children are distant to
the parent/s, sometimes due to unpleasant experiences. These attachment styles
have a big effect or impact on how an individual perceived and expresses behavior
with or towards others.
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Commitment
You already have an idea of what attraction is, how it happens, and how it
grows, also the types of love and how each type related and comprised with. Now, let
us have the commitment and how this thing may happen and how it will last.
What is It
Various people have a certain impact in different aspects of your life. It may
be different in level and differ from who or how that person relates to our life.
Below are some collected ideas on how to exercise expressing affections and
developed into a commitment for any kinds of relationship. These may serve as tips
on how to keep healthy relationships with others.
Stay happy. Happiness gives you the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract and
concrete things.
Be empathic. Empathizing with another is acting with greater cooperation and
overall altruism—the desire to help, even at a potential cost to the self.
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Keep open communication. It provides an opportunity to size up the
trustworthiness of a person by verbally committing to cooperate with another.
Always trust. Working with others toward a common goal requires a level of faith
that others will repay our hard work and generosity. Supporting their interests is
also showing your trust.
Show respect. People are likely to give respect to others by being polite, honest, and
by showing kindness all the time.
1. What type of love are you experiencing right now? Why did you say so?
2. How do you show your attraction, love and commitment to your love ones?
Enumerate each.
3. Given the chance to advise others how they can express their commitment
for the relationship to last, what would that be and why?
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What’s More
For you to be able to strengthen your understanding on our topic, let us have
the activity which will provide you an opportunity to identify how teenagers from the
past expressed their affections compared to your generation and its importance.
Your goal is to create a list on how teenagers from 30 years ago, express their
attraction, love, and commitment toward others by talking to someone in age of
50’s
You are encouraged to interview your parent/guardian or an older one for what
they have experienced from the past and what are their observations in today’s
generation on their ways of showing and expressing their attraction, love, and
commitment with others.
After gathering your needed information, compare it with your own opinion.
Share those by presenting your work with your classmates and/or
teacher/facilitator.
You are opted to use any materials that you think may help you show you
creativity in presenting your list. You can use but are not limited to any sheet
of paper. Please also be reminded that the maximum number of pages for your
work is 2-3 pages.
Your work will be graded based on the clarity of idea and the way you presented
in class or teacher. You can use Powerpoint presentation, video or graphic
organizer.
Think at least four (4) objects or things that are very much important to you.
Write the name of each object in a 1/8 sheet together with its recipient. After the
given time, the facilitator will allow you to share your reasons with your selected
classmate or if applicable, with the members of your family.
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What I Have Learned
One of the objectives of this module is for you to understand the concept and
importance of letting yourself express your attraction, love and commitment to
others. Some up your gained ideas and knowledge by completing the statements in
each box below.
I know that
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I learned
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I realized
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My plan
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What I Can Do
In the beginning of this module, it is stated that there are many reasons
why someone is liking or loving other people and, there are many ways to express
someone’s affection toward others. In this activity, you are going to express your best
way of expressing your attraction love or showing commitment to someone by
creating a mini poster out of cut-outs from magazines, newspapers or other printed
materials. Your mini poster should be done on a short bond paper and must
showcase your ways of expressing affections to develop a long term-relationship.
Write a brief explanation of your work at the back of your mini poster.
(sample questions)
1. What are your ways in express your attraction for someone?
2. How you express your love to someone?
3. How you show your commitment to the person/s?
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Assessment
Multiple Choice. Choose the letter of the best answer. Write the chosen letter on a
separate sheet of paper.
4. What do you call the feelings and action that keep partners working together
to maintain a relationship?
a. Affection c. Commitment
b. Attraction d. Love
8. It happens when the feeling is being returned by someone the same way as
you do.
a. Physical appearance c. Reciprocity
b. Proximity d. Similarity
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9. Which of the following pertains to a physical distance between two
individuals?
a. Physical appearance
b. Proximity
c. Reciprocity
d. Similarity
11. It is the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract and concrete things.
a. Happiness
b. Empathy
c. Communication
d. Respect
12. Which of the following is a cognitive process and decision to dedicate love to
another individual with willingness to keep it lasts?
a. Affection
b. Attraction
c. Commitment
d. Love
13. It is an element that help promote love that produces a behavior of loving and
lasting relationship.
a. Oxydicin
b. Endorphin
c. Serotonin
d. Vasopressin
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Additional Activities
“Reasons of Attraction”
Components of
Attractions
Rank Reason
Physical
Attractiveness
Proximity
Reciprocity
Similarity
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Answer Key
A 15. A 15.
C 14. C 14.
D 13. C 13.
D 12. D 12.
A 11. A 11.
A 10. B 10.
B 9. A 9.
C 8. C 8.
D 7. D 7.
B 6. A 6.
C 5. D 5.
C 4. C 4.
A 3. B 3.
B 2. B 2.
C 1. A 1.
Assessment What I Know
References
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