Written

by a woman experienced on both ends of the oral sex equation, this nuts-and-
bolts exploration of cunnilingus is unlike anything ever written before. Explicit,
detailed, enormously entertaining and written for both novices and pros, Box Lunch
demystifies the female anatomy with an eye toward making oral sex as satisfying for
the giver as it is for the receiver.
Make no mistake, this is the most direct route to orgasm for many women, and Diana
Cage shows you how to not only excel at it but revel in it!

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 Diana Cage

Box lunch
THE LAYPERSON’S GUIDE TO CUNNILINGUS

ePub r1.0
kochab208 03.02.2021

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Título original: Box lunch
Diana Cage, 2004
Cover illustration: Colleen Coover
Cover design: Matt Sams

Editor digital: kochab208
ePub base r2.1

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 Table of Content

Cubierta

BOX LUNCH

Introduction

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Acknowledgements

Resources

Sobre la autora

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 Introduction

Confessions of a Lesbian Sexpert

I love sex. I wouldn’t write about it if I didn’t love it. I especially love getting and
giving head. It’s really the one sex act I can’t live without. I think all kinds of sex are
wonderful, but many women will tell you that the sustained, concentrated stimulation
of oral sex is the most surefire way to have an orgasm. For many women, it’s the only
sure thing.
This is a different type of sex book. Sure, it’s about cunnilingus and there are
many books out there on exactly the same topic. But this book is more than just
technique and positions. This book is about learning to bring joy into your bedroom.
This book will help open your mind, which in turn helps you enjoy sex. This book
wont just teach you how to go down on a woman, it will make you a better, freer,
kinkier, cuter, sexier lover.
As a woman who has sex with other women, I get to enjoy performing oral sex as
much as I do receiving it. Being on both sides mean I know more about what works
and what doesn’t. I know what my own body responds to and I know about the
responses I’ve gotten from all the women I’ve had in my bed.
I know what it’s like to have performance anxiety. I know what it’s like to want to
please the beautiful woman in front of you. And I understand that sometimes it can be
hard to relax and let the other person take control.
I truly love performing oral sex. In fact, there is nothing I’d rather do with my
mouth —not even eat! And as far as my cunt is concerned… well, there may be lots
of ways to get a woman to her happy place, but using your mouth is a sure way to
make her really like you. Lick a lady into oblivion and she’s going to keep you on her
mailing list for a long time to come.
Cunnilingus is an ancient act —the act of kissing the genitals has been around as
long as there has been kissing and genitals. The Kama Sutra, probably one of the best
known ancient love manuals of all time was written in 400 BC. It has an entire
chapter dedicated to giving women oral pleasure. With positions creatively named
The Quivering Kiss and The Circling Tongue, it’s clear that oral congress was a
highly developed act for ancient sex fiends.

Cunnilingus positions from the Kama Sutra:

With delicate fingertips, pinch the arched lips of her house of love very very
slowly together, and kiss them as though you kissed her lower lip: this is «Adhara-

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sphuritam» (The Quivering Kiss).
Now spread, indeed cleave asunder, that archway with your nose and let your
tongue gently probe her «yoni» (vagina), with your nose, lips and chin slowly
circling: it becomes «Jihva-bhramanaka» (The Circling Tongue).
Let your tongue rest for a moment in the archway to the flower-bowed Lord’s
temple before entering to worship vigorously, causing her seed to flow: this is «Jihva-
mardita» (The Tongue Massage).
Next, fasten your lips to hers and take deep kisses from this lovely one, your
beloved, nibbling at her and sucking hard at her clitoris: this is called «Chushita»
(Sucked).
Cup, lift her young buttocks, let your tongue-tip probe her navel, slither down to
rotate skilfully in the archway of the love-god’s dwelling and lap her love-water: this
is «Uchchushita» (Sucked Up).
Stirring the root of her thighs, which her own hands are gripping and holding
widely apart, your fluted tongue drinks at her sacred spring: this is «Kshobhaka»
(Stirring).
Place your darling on a couch, set her feet to your shoulders, clasp her waist, suck
hard and let your tongue stir her overflowing love-temple: this is called
«Bahuchushita» (Sucked Hard).
If the pair of you lie side by side, facing opposite ways, and kiss each other’s
secret parts using the fifteen techniques described above, it is known as «Kakila»
(The Crow).

The learning curve

Just about everything is great when you’re getting busy with someone you really
like. But really, nothing compares to the focused sensation of a hot wet tongue sliding
over an erect clit —it’s in a class all its own. And for scores of women —myself
included— it’s the fastest route to that holiest of grails —The Orgasm.
Many women claim that the orgasms they achieve through cunnilingus are
stronger and more focused than those achieved through other means.
The first time someone went down on me I nearly died from pleasure. It was
better than mangoes, a great novel, trampolines, puppies, Camaros, vinyl hot pants,
and sake, all rolled into one. It was the most intense, exciting thing that had ever
happened to me. My partner was extremely talented, and so eager that I felt like some
kind of yummy dessert. She clearly knew her work. There was nothing nerve-
wracking or scary about the experience. It was all fun and sexy, and I was happy to
lie back and enjoy myself. The orgasm she gave me was so grand that I never wanted
her to stop.
That first lover may have blown my mind, but whether I could blow hers was
another story. I was young and inexperienced, and totally overwhelmed by my desire

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to please. Her pussy was a delight. It was beautiful and sexy and I was thrilled to
have my face pressed up against it. But let’s face it, I didn’t know what the hell I was
doing. I was intimidated. I was in awe. I was standing at the edge of a gorgeous and
totally new terrain. I fumbled around for a while saying clumsy, uncool things like
«Uh, is this OK?» Until she got frustrated and flipped me over and went down on me
again. I’m lucky I was so eager to be a great lay because that lesson could have
turned me into a pillow queen of the worst kind.

Pussies are sensitive instruments. While most everything you can do to a vagina
with your tongue is going to feel pretty good, it takes a certain amount of skill and
technique to get her to grab your head, pull your hair, and scream, «Don’t stop, don’t
stop! I’m coming! I’m coming! Oh, God! I see God» It’s a good thing —no, a great
thing— that my lover was willing and able to show me exactly how to please her.
Otherwise I’d have ended up a pretty lousy lesbian.
She was a great teacher —very patient and a good communicator. She carefully
told me what worked and what didn’t, and taught me step-by-step how to blow her
mind. She pulled her pussy lips back, exposing everything, and pointed out the

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extremely sensitive areas and the places where she preferred more pressure. And she
did that all without ever making me feel clumsy or inexperienced.
Now I’ve gone down on —and been gone down on by— many lovers since that
time, but she pretty much gets the credit for making me into the cunnilingus champ
that I am today. That’s exactly why I wrote this book; so that every single one of you
out there will have a chance to learn a thing or two about making your lady go crazy.
Being really great at going down is bound to make you popular. And the more
popular you are, the more you’ll get laid. And life is about getting laid, isn’t it?
Admit it, it is, or else you wouldn’t be reading this.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you’re not already giving and getting great
head. There are so many cultural taboos surrounding our pussies, it’s no wonder
people don’t know what the hell they’re doing down there. We worry, and our
partners worry, that we smell bad, or taste funny, or that it will be unpleasant in some
way. Our lovers worry that we aren’t enjoying it, or that they’re going about it all
wrong. We may even worry that our lovers will get bored because they aren’t the
ones receiving the pleasure. With all that worrying going on, how in the hell are we
supposed to get off?
If you’re a lesbian, then you’ve got the burden of mastering what is generally
considered to be the Ultimate Act of Lesbian Sex. And if you’re a straight man then
you’ve got enough trouble without having to worry that your girlfriend is going to
gossip about your lack of skill and make you the laughing stock of girls-night-out
banter and slumber party conversation. And let me tell you, sweetie, girls gossip. One
ex-boyfriend of mine has been forever branded Big Mac Boy by my female friends
because he ate pussy with so little finesse —like he was munching away on a meal
deal.
One of the great things about cunnilingus is that it can be as fun for you as the
licker and it is for her as lickee. Eating pussy is certainly physically enjoyable for the
giver, and it’s also a very psychologically powerful turn-on. The woman splayed out
in front of you is experiencing intense pleasure, and her entire body is reacting to the
movements of your tongue.
Being good at going down is all about learning to love it. Confidence is key, and
confident mistresses and masters of the oral arts are going to enjoy their time between
her thighs as much as they enjoy anything she does between theirs. Confidence is
exactly what the tips and techniques in this book are going to give you.

Why me?
My main job, when I’m not thrilling women from coast-to-coast with my rug
munching prowess (just kidding!), is being the editor of the world’s only lesbian sex
magazine: On Our Backs. Yes, I’m a professional lesbian! But I’ve had lovers of all
genders; boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, friends with benefits, hookups and lovers

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of all sorts. This book is written for anyone who wants to make their female lover feel
good! It’s also for women who want to be more comfortable receiving oral sex,
expand their orgasmic capacity, and want to help their lover learn to please them.
As the editor of a sex magazine, I get to think about pussies —and what pleases
them— all day, every day. I get to engage with readers, contributors, authors, video
directors, and sex-toymakers who are interested nothing but making pussies purr.
Everyday I get letters from readers who have questions about oral sex. You’d be
surprised at the number of people out there who are nervous about getting and giving
head. And sadly it seems that many of us still think of giving head as something to do
to our partners rather than with them. If there is one misconception I would like to
change with this book, it’s that cunnilingus is something that one person does to
another. Cunnilingus is an act that two people do together. Just like any other sex act
—except, well, masturbating with the bathtub faucet, I guess.
The jist of many of the letters I receive seems to be that a lot of women think no
one really wants to go down on them, and that anyone who does go down, does it out
of a sense of obligation —a «you do me, I’ll do you» type of thing. But so many
women and men I’ve spoken to say this isn’t the case at all. Many, many, eager
beaver-lickers have told me that they —like me— think performing cunnilingus is the
best thing on earth. And, hopefully, once you read this book, you’ll agree.
And what about those nervous nellies out there who are afraid to get on their back
or knees, or hands, or rocking chairs, or whatever? I know there are many of you who
get so agitated at the thought of being prostrate before your love object that you can’t
come no matter how long someone licks you. Maybe being on your back feels too
submissive because usually you’re the aggressor. Well, listen to me, babe. There are
many ways to get done without giving up control. Climb on his or her face. Take
charge. Or just try ordering your little pussy-licker around! Submissive lovers will go
nuts when you command them to eat you out.
No matter what your hang-up is, this book will help you relax and get into it. Just
lie back and enjoy the ride.

Survey says
In order to bring you as much useful information as I possibly could about
cunnilingus I conducted a small but serious survey amongst as many lesbians, straight
girls, transfolk, straight men, and other oral sex fiends of various genders that I could
round-up. I talked to them all about their worries, fears, loves, and hates about going
South. And I learned a lot! Throughout the book I will be relating tales related to me
by that randy group of people. I think you will find much of what they had to say
enlightening.
For instance: one man explained to me that his main concern about going down
on a woman that he wasn’t seriously and romantically involved with was that it made

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him feel submissive and he didn’t want to submit to a woman he didn’t love! Well,
what he eventually realized was that giving pleasure made him feel powerful. Being
aggressive is as much about giving pleasure as receiving it. The toppiest of the tops
finds power in licking her woman’s pussy. It’s amazing when you get her to give up
control and go crazy with lust. It just goes to show how power is all in the mind.
Another interesting little tidbit I learned was that some lesbians don’t actually like
going down. Well, OK, it’s not like I just learned it, I knew that a few snatch-fearing
lesbians existed. But I had certainly never let any of them in my bed. I know you
straight people think that lesbian loving is all about egalitarian sister-loving-sister
vagina power. But that just isn’t true. Just as many gay women as straight men have
held onto their societally-imposed misconceptions about the vagina being a dirty
place. If you’re the lover of one of these reluctant types, this book will help you
enlighten the poor soul.

Why you need this book

Oral sex is plain old dirty fun. And if you’re good at it, then you’re sure to have a
long and happy love life. Great sex is the key to happy relationships —hell, it’s the
key to happiness. Women can come harder, longer, and more often than men. And
don’t you want to be the one helping to make that happen? The female orgasm is a
sight to behold. And having your face between her legs when it happens is just about
the best box seat you can get.
If you’ve never helped a woman to ejaculate then this book might just help you
do that. Going down on a woman who squirts when she comes is a lot like going to
Sea World and sitting in the first row of the Shamu show. You’ll have fun at the show
no matter where you sit, but getting splashed makes the experience that much more
memorable. And it’s a great story to tell your friends.
I’ll also teach you about the subtle but mindblowing pleasures of analingus, also
known as rimming. I’ll give you hints and tips on shaving your kitty (or shaving your
girlfriends). I even touch on some advanced techniques like clit-pumping, and getting
kinky. I’ll also teach you about using lube and help you find a lube that wont interfere
with her smell and taste. Want to make the world a better place? Start with becoming
a better lover.
Happy licking!

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 One

A Guided Tour of the Pleasure Palace

A woman’s genitals are as unique in appearance as her face. Pussies come in so

many shapes and sizes you can hardly recognize one from the next. While we’ve all
got pretty much the same basic parts, the design on each model is totally different.
It’s important to know where all the roads lead if you want to get to your destination.
When was the last time you took a good long look at your puss? Can you find
your G spot? Do you know where your clitoral cruras are? Seriously. Even if you’re a
vagina master, I’ll bet you can’t name all the parts of the clitoris! (Hint: What we
routinely call our clit is really just the tip of the iceberg). If you understand where
everything is and what each part does, you’ll have a greater mastery of your sexual
response.
I still remember the first lover who got off on staring at my pussy. She had this
weird habit of going down on me and then gazing in awe at my post-orgasmic puss.
At first, it totally freaked me out. She stared so hard she looked like an evil
gynecologist plotting to impregnate me with alien babies. OK not really, but I had
never withstood that type of scrutiny before, certainly not in broad daylight. I worried
that it didn’t look right. Maybe everyone else’s was prettier! What if I was too hairy?
Not pink enough? Maybe I had an alien pussy. Maybe she was staring at it because it
was so terrifying —like a train wreck. It wasn’t until I went out of town for a week
and she told me she’d been longingly visualizing my vulva the whole time, and
masturbating to the image, that I began to feel excited by her gaze. She told me she
missed it so much, she drew pictures of it. Suddenly I felt like I had an exotic work of
art down there.
Lesbians get up close and personal with real vulvas in all of their real beauty and
imperfection, but many straight women only see other women’s vulvas in porn. And
worse than that, some women feel insecure about their own pussies because they
don’t look like the ones in Playboy.

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 Tip: Pussies are like snowflakes; each one is unique.

Well, let me just set the record straight. No one’s pussy looks Playboy in real life.
Trust me. I’m a pornographer. The pussies you see in magazines like Hustler and
Playboy have been pinkened, smoothed, shrunk, moved, glazed, and otherwise
altered in Photoshop until they look nothing like the way they started out.
«The first time I saw another woman’s pussy was in my boyfriends Penthouse
magazine. The woman’s inner lips were so tiny compared to mine, I thought for sure
my pussy was ugly. My lips are long and uneven and stick out beyond my outer lips. I
actually talked to my boyfriend about it and he told me that he thought my pussy was
sexy. He said that the tiny, perfect pussies in the magazine weren’t beautiful to him,
and that in comparison my pussy looked juicy and fuckable». —Jennifer.
Not only are porn stars and Playboy models Photoshopped, but porn snatch starts
out different from yours and mine to begin with. Porn actresses make their living
selling a fantasy. There is nothing wrong with the fantasy they sell, but it’s important
to understand that it isn’t real. Porn actresses spend lots of money to look the way
they do. They get Brazilian waxes. They get laser hair removal. They get laser
vaginoplasty, or laser vaginal rejuvenation to make their pussies look pink and perfect

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all over. They also get labiaplasty —a process in which the labia are trimmed to
specification. Hello! They get their assholes bleached. Porn cunts are totally
engineered.
Your average cunt looks nothing like the private parts of a Hustler Honey. We’re
all different. All gorgeous.

A few common surgical procedures performed on women’s genitals to make

them look «perfect».
Laser Reduction Labiaplasty: sculptures the elongated or unequal labial minora
(small inner lips) according to one’s specification.
Laser Perineoplasty: rejuvenates the relaxed or aging perineum. It can also
enhance the sagging labia majora (large outer lips) and labia minora to provide a
more intact, tighter looking vulva.
Hymenoplasty (reconstruction of the hymen): reinstates the structural integrity of
the hymen.

Most of us refer to everything going on down there as the vagina. But technically,
vagina refers just to you’re the actual muscular tube that things go in to and babies
come out of. If you’re referring to the whole package then you are actually talking
about the vulva. One thing to keep in mind when you are all up in your wife or
girlfriend’s business is that there is more to the pink canoe than just the little man in
the boat.
Let’s start with a guided tour. If you own your own pussy, you can follow along at
home with a hand mirror. If you don’t have one of your own, feel free to use your
lover’s. If you don’t have a girlfriend, go get a neighbor or something.

The pussy tour

First stop on the pussy tour is the mons, or mons veneris, which is Latin for
Mound of Venus, also known as the mons pubis, or just «the mound». It’s the fleshy,
comfy, cushy area between your legs where your bush grows. It’s nicely padded to
protect the pubic bone from impact during intercourse. It’s a very sexually sensitive
spot, and while it’s not going to get anyone off, it’s full of nerve endings and lightly
stroking your honey’s mound before going below will fill her with shivers of delight.
Next we have the inner and outer labia. These are two sets of lips that surround all
the sensitive insides. The outer lips, called the labia majora, are fleshy, padded, and
hairy. The inner lips, or labia minora, are slippery little buggers that have no hair
follicles. Inner lips come in every shade, from carnation-pink to burgundy to dark
chocolate. They are extremely sensitive, often uneven in size, and sometimes long

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enough to extend past the outer lips. When a woman is aroused, the inner lips fill
with blood causing them to swell and turn darker. Many women love having their
inner lips stimulated —and some enjoy it more than direct stimulation of the clit.
Tip: Whenever you see art in which the vagina is represented as an open blossom,
the inner lips are the parts that get portrayed as petals.

Tip: Other objects often used to portray pussies: shells, peaches, figs, almonds,
oysters.

Now we come to everyone’s favorite magic bean, the clitoris, or «clit». The clit is
where a lot of the action happens. Think of it as similar to a penis, only with four
times as many nerve endings. The part that most of us are referring to when we talk
about our clits is actually just the head, or glans of our clits. The clitoris is a complex
organ that pretty much extends throughout the entire genital region. Anytime you

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make your woman feel good by stimulating her vagina, her butthole, her lips, or
anywhere else down there you’re also indirectly stimulating her clit. The clitoris is
the only organ in the human body —that’s male or female— whose sole purpose is
sexual pleasure.

The clitoris is a network nerve-rich organs consisting of: the hood, the clitoral glans,
the clitoral shaft, the crura or legs of the clitoris, and the clitoral bulbs.
Until not too long ago, folks believed that the clit was just the little man in the
boat and that was it. But now thanks to awesome books like Rebecca Chalker’s The
Clitoral Truth, and A New View of a Woman’s Body by the Federation of Feminist
Women’s Health Centers we know that it actually has all sorts of parts.
If you pull back the hood of the clit you will expose the glans or visible nub of the
clit —other wise known as the little man (or woman) in the pink canoe. For clarity

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throughout this book, when we discuss the clit we are referring to the glans or visible
nub.
Tip: Clits grow twice their size during arousal. On average it takes 15 seconds for
a clit to return to its normal size after orgasm.
The clit has about 8,000 nerve endings —more than any other structure in the
human body. It’s pretty much a different size and shape on every woman. If you’re a
small-clitted gal, don’t sweat it! Sensitivity doesn’t correlate to size; no matter how
big or small, they all do the same job. Figuring out how to get her off is just a matter
of figuring out how she likes her bits fiddled. Big clits are showy and fun. I know a
girl whose clit is so large her lovers can jerk it off like a cock. Small, cute clits can be
extra sensitive requiring light feathery tongue licks —or not. You’ll have to poke
around and figure it out.
Pay close attention to the clit. It’s extremely sensitive and stimulation of this baby
is essential to most women’s orgasms. It’s going to be the focus of quite a bit of your
oral effort. The clit is shrouded by the clitoral hood, a fold of draped tissue that keeps
your sensitive nubbin safe from over-stimulation.
Tip: 75% of women require some sort of clitoral stimulation in order to reach
orgasm.
The shaft of the clitoris runs just superior to the clitoral glans. Run your finger
over the hood of the clit and press down on it. You should feel a rubbery cord
extending up toward the bush. This cord could be anywhere from half an inch to an
inch long. It’s sensitive, and pressing on it should feel good. Most women will find
that massaging it gets them excited.
Now we’re getting to the behind the scenes stuff. The shaft of the clitoris extends
up toward the mons, then it forks and bends around forming two wishbone shaped
legs, or the clitoral crura. The crura run down either side of the vagina about three
inches, below the surface, just behind the labia minora. The crura are too deep for
you to feel with your fingers. But, trust me, their presence is one reason penetration
can feel so heavenly.
Starting from the point where the shaft and crura meet there are another two
extensions —the clitoral bulbs. I told you this thing was big! The clitoral bulbs
extend internally down and underneath each of the labia minora. They’re bigger than
the crura and they fill with blood and get hard when a woman is aroused.
The fourchette is the area where the bottom of the lips meet the vaginal entrance.
It’s next to the perineum.
Below the clit you’ll find the urethral opening. This is where urine and ejaculate
leave the body. In both women and men the urethra is surrounded by a ring of spongy
tissue that fills with fluid during arousal. This fluid comes squirting out during female
ejaculation. What this fluid is made of is still up for debate, but everyone agrees that
it isn’t urine.

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 The spongy tissue is called the urethral sponge or the G spot. It’s pretty hard to
locate if she’s not yet turned on. But once she gets going it’s a big old hard button
about the size of a quarter that you can push on and rock her world. You can feel the
rough texture of the G spot if you stick two fingers in her vagina and prod around up
toward the front wall about two inches in. That rough, textured, bumpy area is her G
spot. Push on it, and she may feel like she has to pee. That’s normal, you’re poking
around her urethra.
For many women this is a huge erogenous zone and stimulation of the G spot
may make your girlfriend act like the Sparklett’s Water Fantasy show at Sea World.
You know that female ejaculation thing you’ve heard so much about? Well, this is
where it all happens, baby. Some women have intense orgasms from G spot
stimulation. Some don’t. It all depends on the woman.

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 Below the urethra is the vaginal opening. We think of the vagina as a tube, but
really the walls of a woman’s vagina lie flat against each other until she’s turned on.
The vaginal walls are a mucous membrane. This is why we get slippery when
aroused. The walls exude the slippery stuff that makes sex so much fun. But this
slippery fun also helps to continuously flush out the whole works. The vagina is a
self-cleaning organ. In other words, douching is never necessary. Douching is
actually harmful. It fucks up the vagina’s natural bacteria —killing acidic
environment leaving you open to possible infection. So if you’ve got some hang-ups
about your smell and taste, the very worst thing you can do is douse yourself in
chemicals; you’re just going to create problems. And no one wants to eat a snatch
that tastes like Bubbilicious anyway.
When a woman gets all juiced up, the outer nerve-rich section of the snatch
tightens up and gets hard, but the back two-thirds of the sexual hallway —the less
sensitive section— expands dramatically in length and width. This process is called
tenting. There’s a lot more room in a pussy than you’d imagine.
Below the vaginal opening are two tiny little bean-sized glands called the
Bartholins glands. These babies don’t do much except provide small amounts of lube
during sex. They can get blocked and swell up, a painful and annoying event, but not
life threatening.
For most women reading this book, I’m guessing your hymens were obliterated
long ago. But if you had one it would be a thin membrane of tissue stretched across
the opening of your hole. Most of the time this thing breaks before you ever get
around to sticking anything up there. Just about any kind of strenuous activity can
pop your cherry. But if you’re kinky that way and you really want it back, you can
have it surgically reconstructed.
The cervix is the opening to the uterus. If you stick your fingers up into the
vagina you’ll feel a round knob-like thing. It’s a bit nose-like. Yep, that’s the cervix.
This is the place from which menstrual blood escapes every month. While it has no
nerve endings on its surface, the cervix responds to pressure. Bumping into it with a
blunt object can feel good and some women can experience orgasm this way.
The anus is the exit for the colon. It’s very sensitive and rich in nerve endings.
Many women enjoy having their anus stimulated during cunnilinus. We’ll talk a bit
more about that later in the book.
Since we’re being thorough, I’ll give you a quick run-down of the baby-making
organs. I wouldn’t want to send you out into the world with only half of what you
need to know about female sexual anatomy.
The uterus is where babies grow and where menstrual cramps come from. It’s
about the size of a lemon. The fallopian tubes extend out and back from either side of
the uterus. Each is a pathway from ovary to uterus, traveled by an egg from either the

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right or left ovary every month. The ovaries are located on either side of —and
somewhat below— the uterus. They produce eggs and female sex hormones.

Now test your pussy knowledge!

1. The vagina:
a. has teeth
b. should smell like grape Bubbilicious
c. «tents» during sexual arousal

2. The clitoris:
a. is just a cute little nubbin
b. is actually an entire network of complex and nerve-rich organs
c. is the way to a woman’s heart

3. The G spot:
a. is a myth
b. is a lesbian bar in Los Angeles
c. might just make your lady go Boom!

4. The vulva:
a. is the name of the entire female genital area
b. is a well-engineered Swedish car
c. is often portrayed as a flower in feminist artwork

5. Playboy models’ pussies look bright-pink because:

a. has teeth
b. should smell like grape Bubbilicious
c. «tents» during sexual arousal

Fabulously fun names to call your pussy

Alley, Altar of Love, Angie, Apple, Artichoke, Axe Wound, Banana Split, Bank,
Barge, Bazoo, Bearded Clam, Bearded Kitty, Bearded leisure center, Bearded Oyster,
Beaver, Beaver Burger, Beehive, Bermuda Triangle, Biscuit, Bit ’O Honey, Bit of
Jam, Blind entrance, Blurt, Boat, Booty, Boris, Bottomless pit, Bottomless Pit, Box,
Breakfast of Champions, Bull’s Eye, Bulls eye, Bun, Bun Warmer, Buried Treasure,
Bush, Butterfly, Buttonhole, Cabbage Patch, Cake, Canal, Canyon, Carnal Trap, Cat,
Center of the Universe, Chach, Cherry Pie, Chimichanga, Choch, Chocha, Choochoo,
Christina Aguilera, Cigar Box, Cock Pit, Coin slot, Coochie, Cookie, Cookie Jar,
Cooter, Cootie, Cooze, Crack, Crack of Dawn, Creamsicle, Crevice, Critter, Crotch,

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Crown and Feathers, Cum Catcher, Cunnicle, Cunny, Cunt, Cupid’s Alley, Delicious,
Divine Scar, Doll House, Down There, Endless Pit, Fajita, Fanny, Finest Hour, Finger
Hole, Fish Taco, Fishburger, Flesh Blanket, Flesh wallet, Flower Pot, Fluffy, Fly
Catcher, Forest, Fruity Fun, Fuck Hole, Fun House, Fur Trapper, Furburger, Furness,
Furry mongoose, Fury hoop, Fuzzy Cup, Garage, Gash, Gash, Gee, Gina, Ginch,
Ginny, Golden Donut, Good Eatin’, Gopher Hole, Grand Canyon, Grassy Knoll,
Gulf, Gully, Hairpie, Hairy Whizzer, Hatch, Heaven, Heaven’s Gate, Her, Her
Highness, Her Majesty, Hidden Valley, Ho cake, Hole, Holiday inn, Holster, Home,
Home Base, Home of the Whopper, Home sweet home, Honey altar, Honey Hole,
Honey Pot, Honey Tree, Hoochie, Hooha, Hoohoo, Hoop, Hot ’N Juicy, Hot Meat,
Hot Tuna Stew, Jam Pot, Jaws of Life, Jelly Roll, Juicy Lucy, Jungle, Keyhole, Kitty,
Knish, Lady Jane, Lapland, Lily, Lips, Little Friend, Lollapalooza, Love Box, Love
Button, Love Highway, Love House, Love Rollercoaster, Love Triangle, Lovers lane,
Lovers Lane, Lucy, Lunch box, Mami, Map of Tasmania, Mink, Minnie Mouse,
Money box, Monkey, Mossy Swamp, Muff, Mystic Rose, Nappy dugout, Natures
Tufted Treasure, Nest, Nest, Nether end, Netherlips, Nethermouth, Ocean, Ooze,
Pandora’s Box, Panocha, Peach, Peepee, Pencil Grinder, Pie, Piece, Pink, Pink
Canoe, Pink Eye, Pink palace in the black forest, Pirates Booty, Pirates treasure, Pit,
Play Ground, Play Pen, Poon, Poon Tang, Poondong, Poox, Poozle, Portal of Venus,
Punani, Punany, Puss, Pussy, Queen of the Universe, Quic, Quick Sand, Quiff, Quim,
Red lane, Red Sea, Red Snapper, Regina, Ripe Peach, Ruby fruit, Rubyfruit Jungle,
Salmon sandwich, Scabbard, Scented Garden, Second hole from the back of the neck,
See You Next Tuesday, She, Sideways Smile, Sister, Slant Eye, Slice, Slim, Slipper,
Slit, Snack Cake, Snacky Treat, Snapper, Snapping turtle, Snapping Turtle, Snatch,
South pole, Split, Split Loaf, Split Peach, Squeeze Box, Stench, Stephanie, Stinky
Twinkie, Strange, Sugar, Sugar basin, Sugar Donut, Sunny Delight, Sweet Box,
Sweet Meat, Sweet Piece, Tackle Box, Taco, Tail, Tail, Tang, Target, Teeny, Temple,
Temple of Venus, The Bermuda Triangle, The Bishop, The Deep, The Gap, The Goal,
The Hirsute Queen, The Y, Till Tuesday, Toolbox, Trench, Trim, Trout, Tube Packer,
Tuna Sandwich, Tunnel, Tush, Twat, Vag, Vagina, Vaginal Davis, Velvet Glove,
Velvet Underground, Virginia, Vise Pipe, Wallet, Where the monkey sleeps, Whisker
Biscuit, White meat, Womanhood, Womb, Woowoo, Yoni, Yum yum.

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 Two

Love Your Pussy

To really enjoy oral sex, you’ll need to spend a little «me» time with your twat.
Getting to know thyself is a great way to increase your orgasmic potential, get what
you want out of sex, and make you better in the sack overall.
Self-loving, aka masturbation is the key to figuring everything out. You’ve got to
fiddle around with all the knobs and buttons to see which ones work best. Just
pretend it’s your lover’s tongue doing all the work at the control panel.
If you’re a slow come, then this self-love assignment is absolutely mandatory.
Regular engine maintenance will increase your overall sex drive, and heighten sexual
responsiveness. And if you aren’t a slow come you should still jerk off. One of the
great things about being a chick is multiple orgasms and no refractory period!
Masturbating on a regular basis keeps you in touch with your sex drive. It keeps you
sexually responsive and ready to go.
Not to get too New Agey, but I firmly believe that masturbation should be a
formal event. Put the moves on yourself. Check out your hot bod in a full-length
mirror. Flex your biceps, squeeze your butt. Do what you need to do to set the scene
—light some candles, put on some lingerie, watch Rikki Lake, fondle your dildo
collection, whatever gets you in the mood.
For this particular exercise, leave the Hitachi in the drawer. The goal here is to
teach your cunt to respond to the slow sensual tango of your partner’s tongue. We’re
going to use some nicely lubed up fingers as a substitute.
Before you start, take a minute or two to meditate on the thought that pussies
rock, and that yours rocks harder than anyone else’s. Go get a hand mirror so you can
watch yourself.
Even the most enlightened woman gets a little insecure from time to time about
the smell, taste, or look of her pussy. There’s nothing that will keep you from dialing
O on the pink telephone like worrying that your lover is not enjoying his or her
special time between your thighs. So take a long look. Enjoy yourself. Notice how
pretty everything is. Cup your entire vulva with your hand and feel the heat and
pressure. Pull your lips apart. Lift back your clitoral hood and look at your magic
bean. Say hi to your pussy!
Get out some lube. Later in the book we’ll take a closer look at lubes, but for now
anything water-based or silicone will do. No oils. You should know this by now, but
oil-based anything is bad news for your vag. It can block up your pores and fuck up
your delicate vaginal ecosystem, leaving your vagina open to infection. Also, oils

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cling to the skin and are far more difficult to wash out. Stick with something nice and
pussy-friendly either water-based or silicone.
Put a couple of drops on your fingertips and spread the love around. This is going
to feel really great, so prepare to get turned on. Polish your pearl, pull on your labia,
run a slippery digit all over your whole slit, maybe even stick some fingers in your
hole. Do everything you’d like a tongue to do. Pay attention to what feels good. Get
turned on. Talk dirty to yourself. Call yourself a slut! Make mental notes on things
that feel good. You will use this information later when you talk to your partner about
things that turn you on.
Having both hands free will make this exploratory mission more enjoyable so if
you don’t have a free-standing mirror, try propping it up against some pillows, or get
creative with the ugly polka-dotted picture frame you got from your aunt Beulah for
your birthday. Notice things about the way your coochie looks throughout the
different stages of arousal. Your inner lips will swell and darken. Your clit will get
hard and poke its head out from under your clitoral hood. Everything will get redder,
and wetter. Your smell will become stronger and muskier. Enjoy it. Revel in it.
You may or may not want to make yourself come during this little exploratory
dive. Either way is good. The point of this exercise is to warm yourself up and to
really have a good time with your cunt. We want our lovers to enjoy the time they
spend down there. So we need to take our own test drives once in a while just to see
how smooth the ride is. This is also a great way to make sure all of your parts are in
working order.
Love that thing between your legs. It brings you lots of pleasure. Appreciate it.

Kegels
The pubococcygeal muscle, or PC muscle, is a hammock-like sling of muscle
across the bottom floor of your vagina. This muscle is what allows you to grip a toy,
finger, or penis when it’s in your vag. Your PC muscle contracts during orgasm and
strengthening it by doing kegel exercises can help intensify and extend your orgasms.
First locate your PC muscle by giving your pussy a squeeze. Just tighten up,
you’ll feel what I’m talking about. Now, try contracting and releasing that muscle as
many times as you can. Work up to a couple hundred repetitions a day. Eventually, it
will become second nature and you’ll find your self squeezing your pussy muscles
while going on about your day. Remember, stronger PC muscles mean stronger
orgasms! That should be plenty of incentive.

The scent of a woman

How do you smell? How do you taste? Stick your fingers in your slipperiness and
taste it. Mmm. Slightly tart? Tangy? Unless of course something is wrong, your taste

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should be pleasant and sexy. And your smell should be musky, heady, and sexy.
Myths and old, sexist about fishy smelling vaginas have given a lot of us complexes.
Not to mention all the commercials for douches and scented feminine hygiene
products. Those things are awful! Not only that, but they reek terribly.
My best friend Tania once figured out that her boyfriend was cheating when she
whiffed a box of «deodorant» panty liners in his bathroom. The smell was so strong
she picked up on it when she went in to pee. When Tanya followed her nose to the
cabinet under the sink, sure enough, there they were! She confronted him, and he
confessed. He’d been two-timing and the other woman had stashed a few personal
items in the bathroom. Consider yourself warned.
For the record, a healthy vagina does not smell bad. It smells awesome —like
tangy, salty, slippery sex-fruit. If you’re carrying around issues about the smell of
your pussy, get over it. Healthy pussy smells heavenly. Anyone who doesn’t think so
is crazy and doesn’t deserve to have sex with you.

Foods that may make you taste good

Pineapple, melon, kiwi fruit, strawberries, celery.

Foods that may make you taste bad:

Broccoli, meats, dairy products, asparagus, coffee, alcohol and cigarettes.

Keeping it clean
We all want to be clean for our lovers. Keeping clean and well-groomed is an
essential part of being sexy and desirable. You want your love box to be a scented
garden of delight that lovers trip over themselves in a rush to get to. Here’s a little
known fact: Deodorant soaps are not great for the honey pot. While they probably
won’t kill you, their alkaline nature disturbs the naturally acidic environment of your
puss, the pH of which hovers somewhere around a tangy 5, about the same as a glass
of wine. An acidic environment helps to prevent the growth of bacteria. Upset the
balance and you ruin the vaginal ecosystem, leaving the cooch host to all sorts of
unwelcome visitors. A low-pH soap without a lot of harsh chemicals will treat your
box right. Castile soaps, like Dr. Bronner’s, have a mildly acidic pH and will get you
all clean and nice without washing away your naturally protective barrier. Try Dr.
Bronner’s peppermint if you want a little thrill!
Tip: Nervous about taste and smell? Try taking a shower together beforehand.
You can have naughty foreplay fun in the shower and make sure you’re both fresh and
clean at the same time.

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Menstruation
If she feels sexy during her cycle and the two of you are fluid-bonded (meaning
you’ve been tested for STDs, and agreed to share bodily fluids with each other; you
must use safe sex precautions with all other partners and be in complete agreement
about the risks you are taking). Then there’s no reason not to go down on her when
she’s on her period. If menstrual blood is a turn-off for you, she can wear a tampon,
or use a Keeper Cup —a rubber cup that fits over the cervix forming a seal; keeping
any blood safely inside. The Keeper Cup can be tricky the first few times you use it,
so take a test run before the real deal.
Not to go down while she’s bleeding is totally up to the two of you. Some people
actually find the smell and taste of menstrual blood to be a turn-on. More power to
them. Just remember the presence of blood increases the chance of transmitting
disease. Another option is to use dental dams or saran wrap to keep blood at bay.
«I really like going down on my wife when she is on her period. She gets really
turned-on when she’s bleeding. And I like the musky odor of her pussy. We usually
just put a towel down on the bed and go to town. I’ve never really understood why
some people get so hung up about it». —Charlie

How to shave for sex

Let’s talk pubes. A shaved vulva has some perks, but many people enjoy the
ambiance of a full, lush bush. Sexy is subjective. It’s important to respect a woman’s
right to choose.
In the end, the decision of whether or not you should shave comes completely
down to you. I have had lovers that kept their whole kitty completely bare, and I
loved the feel of my tongue against their smooth, slippery folds. A shaved snatch is
more than just bare, it’s naked. Hair hides everything. Without hair, your beautiful
secret parts are right out in the open for your lover to see.
I’ve also had lovers with bush that looked like Pam Grier’s Afro in Foxy Brown.
We’re talking bush so big it makes a whoosh sound when you unleash it from her
jeans. Seventies bush; it’s incredibly sexy on a confident woman who feels
comfortable in her skin.
I have no preferences when it comes to pubes. It completely depends on the
woman and how she feels about having or not having pubic hair. That said, there are
some advantages to shaving. The main one being a higher tongue-to-skin ratio. And
let me tell you, if you’re normally a fuzzy sort, presenting your lover with naked pink
is a great way to mix it up. Variety is the spice of a great sex life.
If you’re not into shaving, but want to make your sweetie’s time between your
thighs more comfortable, you can trim the pubes along the base of your mons —the

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section at the top of labia that shrouds the clit. It won’t drastically alter the look of
your bush, but it will make for fewer hairs getting caught between your lover’s
tongue and your love button and generally make your most sensitive parts a little
more convenient to reach. Use small scissors to trim. Long ones are too unwieldy and
you don’t want to accidentally snip something off!
«Sex when I’m freshly shaved is the best. I really like the way my bare vulva
looks. My husband can’t keep his fingers off my bare, silky skin». —Laurie
If you’re ready to make that leap to naked puss, there are a few rules to follow.
Shaving takes some prep work to minimize in-grown hairs and razor burn. Also, it
may itch as it grows back, so keep that in mind if you aren’t ready to do the weekly
upkeep. After you’ve shaved a few times, it’s not so bad. Your skin adjusts to the
sensation and everything is less sensitive. But the first time you shave you may find
the itching of stubbly pubes growing back drives you crazy.
And one more thing, though I shouldn’t have to say this: if you’re shaving your
lover’s puss as a form of sex play, or because you’re her lifestyle submissive, or just
because it gets you hot, be sure you haven’t consumed any intoxicating substances. If
you can’t operate heavy machinery, you shouldn’t go near someone’s tender bits with
sharp objects. Shaving is serious stuff.

The perks of shaving

Nothing says ready-for-sex like a bare vulva. Picture a woman’s newly-shaven,
glistening wet vulva, the lips bare and parted, her swollen clit exposed. Hot, isn’t it?
Of course it is. And that’s exactly why you would want to get rid of all that stubborn
pubic hair, so you can see what’s behind it. Shaving your pubic area allows a higher
tongue-to-skin ratio, and nothing feels softer and more velvety to your fingertips than
a newly shorn pussy. As an added bonus, you’ll get to see more of the action while
fucking. Removing the hair from your vulva is like undressing it. Take your kitty (or
your lover’s) from schoolgirl to call girl in a few easy steps.

Gather your tools

You will need a razor, hair conditioner, shaving cream, and a hand mirror. Multi-
blade razors do a better job and give better end results than cheap disposables.

Trim
If your pubes are long and shaggy you’ll need to trim them down to a manageable
length before you shave it off. Beard clippers work very well, but small scissors are
easier to maneuver. Trim as close to the skin as you can safely manage. Be careful

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down there! My friend, Angela, has a notch on her left labia from being a little
clumsy with the scissors.

Take a bath
A nice hot bath will prep you for a comfortable shaving experience. You want the
hair to be as soft as possible before you try to remove it. This is an important step.
Women who’ve shaved once without heeding this advice remain forever convinced
that there is no way to go bare without a lot of itching and irritation. But they’re
wrong. Make the experience erotic. If you’ll be shaving your lover, why not join her
in the tub? Wash her gently and apply conditioner to her pubic hair. Let it soak in
while you gently wash and fondle the rest of her. Get her in the mood. If this is your
bush’s first introduction to a razor, soak for at least 20 minutes.

Wash ‘n’ go
So, you’ve soaked for a sufficient amount of time. You’ve applied conditioner to
your pubes and let it sit for a minute or two. Now prop your butt on the edge of the
tub and grab your razor. Lather up with shaving cream and decide what you’ll be
taking off and what you’ll be leaving behind. You have the option of shaving the lips
and leaving a bit of a beard on top. Perhaps you want a landing strip, or you want the
whole thing naked. Make up your mind about where to begin and make few strokes
in the direction of the hair growth. Rinse the razor in warm water after each swipe.
The idea is to do this in as few strokes as possible to help avoid irritation. Try not to
go over the same area repeatedly.

The details
Your cunt has a lot of nooks and crannies and crevices that can be difficult to
reach. In order to get a smooth shave on the inner bits of your outer labia, stretch
them taut with your hand. For access to your perineum (the space between your
vagina and anus) squat in the bathtub and spread your legs a bit. You can guide the
blade easily by feeling around down there with your free hand. Make sure to carefully
shave around your butthole for a totally smooth experience.

Dare to be bare
When you’ve finished, rinse off the shaving cream, and pat dry with a towel. Find
something suitably crotch-less or see-through to show off your new do. Or simply
flaunt it naked for your lover. Make sure to enjoy all the new sensations you’ll

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experience. Notice how soft and smooth you are. Notice how nice lube feels against
your naked skin. Your lover’s tongue now has new terrain to cover.

Mind the beard

Beard Burn can be a nasty thing. A bare vulva is very sensitive and if you’re a
hairy-faced type then you will want to be clean-shaven to avoid pricking all her
sensitive parts with tiny, sharp hairs. You may not realize it if she hasn’t said
anything, but beard burn hurts a lot.
For women who shave, this also works the other way around. Your lover’s face is
going to be all snuggled up against your mound. If you haven’t shaved in a day or so
and the area has become a stubble danger zone you should be aware that the prickly
hairs around the top of the outer lips can wreak havoc on a sensitive face. Staying
clean- shaven is best, but if you don’t have time for that, holding the outer lips apart
with your fingers as you lovers eats you out will keep his face from getting all rashy
and sore.

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Tip: Shaving your pubes into the shape of a is a sexy surprise for anyone who ends up
in your pants. First cut your desired shape out of cardboard. Hold the stencil against
your wet and lightly lathered mound and carefully shave around it. Feeling frisky?
Try shaping your lover’s initials down there.

Waxing
Waxing is an option many people swear by. It lasts much longer than shaving, but
it’s a lot more involved and somewhat painful (though not really that bad, and you
quickly grow used to it).
If you just want to clean up the hairs around your bikini line, then you can
probably handle waxing at home with any of the home waxing kits available at the
drugstore. But if you’re looking to go totally bare, then you’ll need a Brazilian. A
Brazilian is a very thorough wax job in which everything is waxed. It’s the difference
between taking your car in for auto detailing rather than driving it through the free
wash you get with a fill up. It’s not just the mons that gets cleaned up, but the entire
outer labia, perineum, butt crack and anus. It’s not for the shy. The person
administering the wax will ask you to hold your legs very far apart. In fact, she may
even ask you to hold your legs up by putting your hands behind your knees. You
might also have to get on all fours so that she can get any stray hairs between your
cheeks.
The aesthetician is going to spread hot wax all over your private parts, press a
piece of fabric against the hot wax, and quickly rip it off against the direction of the
hair growth. Then she’ll come in for the kill with a pair of tweezers to pluck any
remaining strays. You and your aesthetician are going to be very close at this point.
It’s not fun, but the pain subsides quickly and after you’ve done it a few times, it
really doesn’t seem so bad. The best part: the results last for about four weeks.
Tip: Most women have hair between their cheeks and around their anus. If you
want to ditch it without going completely bare, get a «tweeny wax».

If you love it, they’ll love it

The most fun I’ve ever had going down on anyone was with a gorgeous, freckly,
blue-eyed English teacher who absolutely loved sex. She got into it with a delight
unmatched by any other woman I’ve had the pleasure of orally adoring. She’d grab
my head and pull my hair and grind her crotch against my mound. She’d moan and
groan and call my name. Her pussy was so responsive that I could make her come in
minutes, though I loved to draw it out and make her wait. And when she got close to
coming she’d hold my head with such force that several times she cut off my air
supply. I would lick away with glee just hoping that she’d reach orgasm before I
fainted.

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 Giving her pleasure was sheer pleasure for me. As a lickee, she had a total lack of
self-consciousness about her body and enjoyment. In fact, she had an attitude about
her pussy. She knew it was delightful! She knew how much I enjoyed it. She wasn’t
worried that I might not like it or that she’d take too long. She offered her pussy up
like it was a delectable, sexual treat. And that, I’m telling you, was incredibly hot.

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 Three

Getting in the Mood

When a woman gets turned on, all sorts of cool things start happening to her
body. First things first, the brain begins the turn-on process by receiving sexually
arousing stimuli from the body. This stimuli could be anything: Brad Pitt, nipple
clamps, Chelsea Handler, an old episode of Fantasy Island. Whatever it is, the first
two changes that take place are called vasocongestion and mytonia.
Vasocongestion is a pooling of the blood in the hot zones, namely the breasts and
the crotch. This pooling of blood causes those regions to swell: Breasts grow heavier,
pussy lips plump up, your clit hardens. It also causes these regions of the body to feel
warm to the touch and darken in color and it gets the pussy wet by forcing moisture
to seep out through the vaginal walls.
The clitoral glans grows and pokes out from under its little turtleneck, the hood.
The clitoral legs stiffen and grow larger and longer, pushing out the inner and outer
labia and making the entire vulva puffy and swollen. The clitoral shaft grows longer
and hardens, and you’re able to feel it with your finger —try rolling your fingertip
back and forth across it. It feels like a cord. At this point, the uterus and cervix are
pulled up and the inner two-thirds of the vagina expands.
When a woman is turned on her skin becomes supersensitive. Her heart-rate
increases and her blood pressure goes up. She’s shooting off a potent cocktail of sex
chemicals and these chemicals are making her entire body scream «More! More!»
Her pussy is probably pretty wet by this time, though the amount of wetness
varies from woman to woman and is affected by where a woman is in her menstrual
cycle. Some pussies soak the bed; some don’t. It’s all normal. Remember that a
woman’s juiciness is not a reliable indicator of readiness for sex. A totally wet snatch
might just be getting started, and a bone dry one might be dying to get off. In a fully
aroused state, the vulva is open and swollen, and the vaginal opening is exposed.
Keep that in mind next time you’re about to stick something in one.
Tip: Women get clitoral hardons every ninety minutes during sleep.
As your lady gets hotter she will start to feel a yummy muscular tension in her
pelvic region. This tension is the mytonia that we mentioned earlier, and it will
continue to build as she gets more and more turned on, eventually releasing in the
most delightful way during a few seconds of blissful muscle contraction, that holiest
of holies, the orgasm.
According to Masters and Johnson, the longest orgasm ever recorded is 43
seconds. But if you’ve seen Annie Sprinkle’s excellent video Sluts and Goddesses,

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you know that’s nothing because Sprinkle herself has one that lasts for five full
minutes.
For chicks, orgasms are like pistachios —you can just keep having them one after
the other. Not only that, but we come harder and longer than guys too. God must love
us!

More than foreplay

One of the main misconceptions about oral sex is that it’s a precursor to the main
event —penetration. Well, let me set the record straight. Licking your gal’s coochie
can certainly be a great way to warm her up for intercourse, but oral sex is more than
foreplay. Oral sex is a main event. That’s why you’re reading a book about it. Sure,
fucking is great. But straight-up intercourse just doesn’t lead to the big O for most
women the way oral sex does. Cunnilingus is the most reliable way to dial O on the
pink telephone.
She should be turned on before you go anywhere near her nether region with your
tongue. The clit needs time to adjust, her hormones need to get flowing, and her
genitals need to become engorged before they’re able to transmit all the pleasurable
sensations you’re about to deliver. Whatever you do, do not go stampeding to the clit.
If your woman isn’t hot and bothered, her little nubbin will either be totally
insensitive, or way over-sensitive —and neither state is a nice one. Oral sex is not just
foreplay. Oral sex requires foreplay. Lots of it. Before you go down on her, turn her
on.

Turn her on
So how do you get your lady to this wonderful state called really turned on? You
want her to beg for your tongue. You want her to want it bad. But what do you do to
get her there? Well, grasshopper, the truth is, it varies from chick to chick. And it
takes more than a Luther Vandross album and a red lightbulb. Yes, that’s right. You’re
going to have to learn to communicate.
Talking with your partner about sex can be a turn-on in and of itself. A simple
game of «tell me what you like» can get her talking dirty and visualizing all sorts of
scenarios. When it’s your turn, tell her quietly —maybe whisper in her ear— all the
ways in which you plan to pleasure her. Watch her reactions carefully. Does her chest
rise and fall more rapidly as her breathing accelerates? Does her face flush? Does she
squirm? Look away? Does she clutch at you and start humping the bed? (That’s
always a good sign).

How to talk dirty to your lover

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 Make lots of noise. When something feels good, moan appreciatively. Gasp, sigh,
breathe loudly, whimper. Make noises that show you care. Making noise heightens
your partners pleasure as well as your own and provides feedback so he or she knows
what a good job they are doing. A couple of well-timed «Oh yes, Oh yes» sighs can
take you far.
Practice makes perfect. If saying the word cunt out loud makes you blush, try
practicing while you jerk off. Say dirty words out loud while you touch yourself.
Describe what’s happening as you’re doing it. «I’m fingering my cunt». «My pussy is
so wet».
Test drive your new skills on the phone. Feeling shy? Test drive your dirty talk
during phone sex. It’s easier because your honey can’t see you blush. You get some
semblance of privacy and you can play it cool even when your are cringing inside.
Narrate the story. Talk to your partner about what you are doing to them as you
are doing it. «Baby, I’m fucking you so hard right now». This works better during
activities other than oral sex, because it’s not polite to talk with your mouth full.
Make your partner feel sexy. Saying things like «Your body turns me on,» and «I
love to look at you naked» are sure fire winners. Tell her she’s beautiful. Talk about
her pussy. Describe how wet it is, how swollen her clit is, how much you’d like to put
your mouth on it. Every time my partner says «Mmm, wet pussy,» I melt. Try it.
Ask questions. Dirty questions are a no brainer way to get some dirty talk
flowing. Try «Do you want my mouth on your clit?» «Should I suck you harder?» or
«Tell me what you think about when you masturbate».
Get her to talk about how it feels. «How does this feel?» gets right to the point.
You can always be more specific with pointed questions like: «How does my tongue
feel on your asshole?»
Use terms you are both comfortable with. Don’t try and go from 0 to 60 without
warming up. If your partner usually says «down there» when referring to her puss,
then stick with that for a while until dirty talk gets easier for both of you «Let me lick
you down there, baby,» is still very sexy. Suddenly yelling, «Rip me open with your
hot throbbing rod» is either going to cause her to laugh or cry.
Bark orders. Get down on your knees! Bend over! Grab your ankles! Fuck me
you dirty whore! Commands like these are sure to have a positive effect.
Sound confident. Lower your voice. Say dirty things with confidence, if you want
your partner to believe you. Fake it if you must, but try not to sound embarrassed at
all. You can get away with just about anything as long as you own it. And by all
means, don’t giggle!
Tip: Lovers who talk openly about sex with each other stand a higher chance of
keeping each other happy in the bed department, and will have a longer and more
satisfying love life.
To get her thinking about sex during the day, whisper naughty things in her ear
before she leaves for work. In this digital age, flirting over email is fun and easy. And

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it’s much more interesting that actually working. Send her dirty little notes over email
about all the things you are going to do to her when she gets home. But only if her
email is private. Beware her company’s spam filters! They could get you caught if
they’re designed to search for dirty words. You may want to make up pet names for
her muffin. Pussy is a sure-fire spam hit. When in doubt, don’t risk it —the entire IT
department of my ex’s company still thinks I’m a complete pervert.
Leave her voicemail messages telling her you think about her and her gorgeous
pussy. Before she leaves for work in the morning, tell her you’re dying to get it on
with her that night. Or better yet, start fooling around with her, lick her, touch her,
tease her. Then send her off to work and make her wait a full eight-hour day for the
grand finale.
Kiss her. A lot. Even more than that. Kissing is the most perfect sex act ever
invented, and it’s the perfect way to give her a hint as to what your tongue can do.
Play with her breasts! Breasts are sensitive little bundles of love. Caress them,
worship them, adore them and she will be grateful.

Big or small or in between, boobs are a super-charged erogenous zone. Nipples can
be extremely sensitive and in many women there is a direct, almost electrical,

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connection between the nipples and the clit. I know women who can orgasm from
nipple-play alone, and if that isn’t a reason to explore serious breast-play, then I can’t
imagine what is.

Play with her tits

Want her to shudder at your every touch? Start lightly. Gently stroke the sides of
her breasts with your fingertips and the palm of your hand. Touch her softly, tease her
over her clothes, until she starts to ache for more. Don’t rip her bra off right away!
She probably spent loads of money on that thing. Appreciate it. Tease and tickle and
nibble her through her bra. Wait until she’s actually pressing herself against your
hands before you give her the stronger sensation she’s craving. For the strokee: entice
her. Find out what she likes to look at. Wear revealing tops. Busty? Push-up bras are
good. Corsets are even better. Small breasts look great braless, especially beneath
tight, white T-shirts.
Nipples feel fantastic between your lips and under your tongue. Wet her erect
nipples with your mouth before blowing cool air on them. Nibble and suck them, but
first gauge her pain tolerance. If she says «harder, harder» you can bet you’re doing it
right. If her breasts are large she might be able to suck her own nipples. Ask her to
perform for you.
Try out different types of sensation on her until you find something that drives her
wild. Rub an erect nipple with ice, then wrap your warm lips around it. Different
temperatures will elicit different responses. You can bite them hard or nuzzle them
softly. Squeeze her breasts firmly with your hands. Pinch her nipples, gradually
increasing the intensity. Try brushing them with different textures. Hard, scratchy
things are exquisite torture. Soft, fuzzy things will make her purr. Here, kitty!
Nipple clamps, clothespins, barrettes, and other pinchy things can be used to keep
the nipple stimulation going while your hands and mouth are busy elsewhere. If the
clamps have a chain connecting them, pull it while you lick her pussy. Or have her
keep it in her mouth like a bridle while you fuck her. Keep in mind that clamps
restrict blood flow to the tissue. Once the initial shock of pain subsides, she’ll feel a
dull ache. But the pain comes back —hard— when you remove the clamps and blood
flows rapidly back into the area. Don’t leave them on for too long. You can damage
tissue. Twenty to thirty minutes maximum is a good rule.
Is she pierced? Piercings are more than just decoration; many people find that
nipple piercings make their nips more sensitive. Try tugging the rings or barbells with
your teeth or rolling them around in your mouth. Always make sure a piercing is
completely healed before you play with it.
Another fun thing to try is tittyfucking.
No, really!

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 Seeing your cock buried between a woman’s soft breasts is a visual thrill that
can’t be beat. Lube up your penis or dildo and her chest with something non-sticky.
Hand lotion and silicone lube work well. Water-based lube will dry too quickly. If
she’s tall enough, have her kneel in front of you and push her breasts together. Then
slide your cock between them, back and forth. Build up a good rhythm —really let
yourself go. For the fuckee: that big rod sliding back and forth between your boobs
feels pretty good, doesn’t it? I bet you’ve never felt so objectified before. Isn’t it hot?

Be a good teacher
So how do you convince your lover to give your oral sex if he or she seems a
little reluctant?
First of all, talk to your partner about it. Make it hot for him or her. Confess your
cunnilingus fantasies. Tell your partner how excited the idea of his face between your
thighs gets you. Chances are that what you’re dealing with is performance anxiety.
I’d be willing to put money on the fact that she or he is more worried that they won’t
please you, than that they won’t like it. By communicating openly with your would-
be licker you can help allay his fears. Give your lover positive feedback about his or
her oral skills and don’t be shy about giving direction. Keep it sexy, don’t get all
Mack Daddy on his ass and start bossing him around, but a little bit of «Baby, that
feels sooo good, could you lick me harder? Oh yes, right there, that’s the spot!» Will
go a long way towards making him or her more confident while she’s down there.
The girl I’m dating squeezes my head between her thighs and pulls my hair hard
when she comes. It’s super hot. The best time was just recently when we did it in her
office. She teaches English composition to undergraduate at the university I attend. I
showed up during her office hours and went down on her. She was sitting in her office
chair, and I was in front of her on my knees. She had her pants down around her
ankles and my head between her legs. I was glad no students came in for advising! —
Renee.
If your sweetie really has a distaste for oral sex, then a little bit of education
mixed with titillation might help ease some of his or her anxieties. There are several
great educational videos out there. Sexy videos have the added benefit of placing the
act of eating pusy in an erotic context. Your lover gets to learn about oral sex
techniques while watching people enjoy performing and receiving.
Nina Hartley’s Guide to Cunnilingus is a great video to start with. Any porn video
with good oral sex scenes can also help to eroticize pussy eating. It’s important to
note that most mainstream pornos are a terrible place to learn technique. Half the time
the performers are doing a lot of silly moves that look good for the camera, but don’t
actually feel good. There are exceptions though, and watching porn together can be a
great tool for couples looking to improve their sex life.

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 Another way to encourage your lover to engage in new types of sex play is to read
aloud to him or her from your favorite smutty book. Lesbian erotica collections are a
great place to find hot oral sex scenes.
Never force your lover to do something he or she doesn’t want to do. Coercing a
partner into sex will only create unhealthy resentment between the two of you.
Whining, bitching, and complaining aren’t sexy. They wont help your sex life —and
they’ll probably ruin your relationship.

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 Four

Getting Down to Going Down

Mind-blowing, head-grabbing, bed-rocking oral sex means different things to

different women. One gal might prefer to have her labia delicately nibbled, and
maybe the next one wants you to handcuff her and finger her asshole while you suck
her clit like a cock. It pays to experiment with different techniques until you discover
the perfect way to set your lady’s crotch on fire. Though, keep in mind, just because
you’ve find the right tongue strokes on Tuesday night, doesn’t mean the formula will
rock her world on Saturday. Being flexible and willing to go with the flow, is the key
to being a great tongue artist.

More than foreplay

One of the main misconceptions about oral sex is that it’s a precursor to the main
event —penetration. Well, let me set the record straight. Licking your gal’s coochie
can certainly be a great way to warm her up for intercourse, but oral sex is more than
foreplay. Oral sex is a main event. That’s why you’re reading a book about it. Sure,
fucking is great. But straight-up intercourse just doesn’t lead to the big O for most
women the way oral sex does. Cunnilingus is the most reliable way to dial O on the
pink telephone.
She should be turned on before you go anywhere near her nether region with your
tongue. The clit needs time to adjust, her hormones need to get flowing, and her
genitals need to become engorged before they’re able to transmit all the pleasurable
sensations you’re about to deliver. Whatever you do, do not go stampeding to the clit.
If your woman isn’t hot and bothered, her little nubbin will either be totally
insensitive, or way over-sensitive —and neither state is a nice one. Oral sex is not just
foreplay. Oral sex requires foreplay. Lots of it. Before you go down on her, turn her
on.

Other names for cunnilingus

Blow some tunes, box lunch, canyon yodeling, carpet munch, clam dive, clam
lapping, cunt lapping, dine at the Y, drinking at the fuzzy cup, eat hair pie, eat
seafood, eating out, eating pussy, egg McMuff, face job, giving head, go south, grin
in the canyon, growl at the badger, impersonate Stalin, lap cunt, muff dive, mumble

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in the moss, rug munch, sit on your face, skin dive, talk to the canoe driver, tongue
fuck, whistle in the weeds, yodel up the valley.

Start slowly
Listen, buddy, you can’t make a woman come faster by skipping the foreplay. In
fact, you’ll just slow down the whole process. If you don’t want to risk a neck injury,
don’t go rushing ahead to the clit —slow and steady wins the race.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a lover dive in and start munching away
without properly warming me up. When I was younger, I was often to shy to talk
about sex with my lovers, and my poor partner would end up spending the better part
of an hour wearing my thighs as earmuffs. Get your gal ready with your fingers, lips,
tongue, voice, etc.
Tip: 40% of women will reach orgasm after 10 minutes of clitoral stimulation.
90% will reach orgasm after 20 minutes of clitoral stimulation.

Get comfy
Plan on being down there a while and get comfortable. There are lots of positions
in which to experience the wonders of cunnilingus, but if she’s lying on her back and
your face is between her legs, you’re off to a good to start. She might need a pillow
behind her back so that she can sit up and watch your tongue as it works its way
across her vulva. In fact, one of the hotter oral sessions I’ve ever had involved me
sitting up on the couch and my partner crouching between my legs. I had such a great
angle on her tongue that I nearly came from the visual alone. To prevent neck kinks,
it might also help to elevate her hips with pillow.

Tease her
Start out with indirect stimulation. Lightly kiss her clit above the hood, lick the
inside of her thighs, nibble her outer labia and perineum. Lick everywhere you can,
without actually coming into contact with her hard little button. Talk to her. Use your
sexy, whispery, deep sex-voice. Call her pet names, like sugar or baby, or whatever
she responds to. Use your imagination. Bring everything into play. You have more
tools at your disposal than just your tongue. You can use your teeth, gentle nibbles
feel wonderful. Try lightly rubbing your teeth along the shaft of her clit, or lightly
nipping at her outer labia. You can use your lips, try rubbing them against her
slippery inner labes or grabbing her clit between them. You can breathe on her, hum a
tune against her mound (but pick a tune that wont make her laugh —Row, Row, Row
Your Boat is too silly). Be creative. Run a fingertip across her asshole, or rim her

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lightly with your tongue. If you’ve never rimmed anyone before, turn to Chapter 9 for
tips on pleasuring this sensitive little spot.
Tip: Anal play is the way to many a woman’s heart.

Touch her everywhere

It’s a good idea to incorporate the rest of her body. The longer the warm-up
process the more she’ll enjoy the main event. Touch her breasts, suck her nipples and
lightly bite them. Stroke her ass, hips, and legs. Suck her toes! Toes are totally
underrated erogenous zones. In fact, as a lickee, it’s a good idea to always be nook
and cranny prepared. Don’t forget about your feet. Good grooming always pays off.
So pedicure those puppies! You never know which new lover might turn out to have a
tootsie fetish.

Are your feet prepared for worship?

Make those tootsies mouth-worthy with these tips

1. Soak them for a good 20 minutes in hot, soapy water. Relaxing in a bubble
bath will get you all warm and ready for sex, while preparing your feet for a
pedicure.
2. Rub those calluses with a pumice stone. Or if you have major calluses, first
scrape them lightly with a disposable razor, then sand them smooth. You want

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 your feet to feel as smooth and sexy as the rest of you, so really go to town
with that pumice.
3. Wash them carefully with something sweet and fresh-smelling like
peppermint or lavender-scented body scrub.
4. Bag Balm is a petroleum-based goop (with lanolin) that you can buy at most
drugstores. It’s designed to prevent cow’s udders from drying out and
chapping. It works wonders on scratchy heels. Before bed, coat your footsies
in a thick layer and cover them in heavy socks. In the morning, you’ll be soft
enough to lick.
5. Paint your toenails a bright, trampy red.

Her arousal indicators

As she gets hot you’ll probably find that she craves stronger stimulation. Pay
close attention. She will give you signals. If she’s the quiet type, it’s a good idea to
ask her how she’s feeling. Ask if it feels good. Make it sexy by whispering it in her
ear. I dare you to find a woman who doesn’t respond to hot little questions and
suggestions. Even if they make her blush, she’s still digging it.
«Do you like it when I bite you like this? Does my finger against your asshole
feel good? Do you want me to push it in?» Questions like these will do double duty
by opening up a sexual dialogue as they turn her on.
If she’s groaning and leaning into your touch, or pulling your hair, or saying YES!
YES! YES! and otherwise showing enthusiasm, you’re clearly doing something right.
Begin to experiment with stronger stimulation. Bite her, pinch her, nibble her neck
and earlobes, and give her ass a resounding slap (not too hard —you don’t want to
piss her off).

Dive in
Once she’s dripping wet and pleading with you, you can very slowly and gently
begin licking the slit between her outer labia to make her cunt open up. Run your
tongue up and down the length of her inner labia. Make sure to vary the pressure and
pay close attention to her responses. She’ll give you hints as to what feels best.
My girlfriend is always in skirts, and she often «forgets» to wear underwear. Last
week were dancing at a club and she got turned on and made me follow her into the
bathroom and go down on her. She makes a lot of noise so I know the other women in
the bathroom heard. But it was so hot I didn’t care. —Carla.
This little game of torture can be continued for as long as you like, or until she
starts pulling your hair and cursing at you. Fuck her with your tongue. It’s wet, it’s
pink, it’s muscular —it’s made for fucking! Get that baby in there as far as it will go.

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Being probed by a wet tongue feels lovely, and using your tongue in that way is
incredibly hot. Try it.
Don’t pull her hood back to expose the glans just yet. Just give her some soft
sweet strokes over and around it. Tease her and draw out the sensation. Make it last.
Draw it out and don’t give in. Tease her until she’s ready to hate you.

Keep her wet

Saliva is your friend. Use your mouth and tongue to keep the area as wet as
possible. Moisten your fingers before touching her. It’s not polite to put dry fingers in
a pussy —just ask Emily Post. You can experiment with pulling back her hood with
wet fingers. Expose her pink pearl and lightly lick it. Bury your face in her snatch and
savor it. Really get in there. Act like you’re trying to return to the womb. She’s going
to feel so sexy and yummy with you eating her like that. Experiment with suction.
Suck her button like a cock. Watch her face as you do this and try and gauge if she’s
responding to it. Not everyone will dig it, but many women will and it’s a great trick
to bring more blood into the clit —making it extra hard and sensitive.
Are you paying attention? Does she like what you’re doing? Ask her. If she’s
subtly trying to scooch away from you, you’re probably applying too much pressure.
Lighten up. Some women’s clits are so sensitive that they don’t enjoy direct
stimulation at all. It feels ticklish to them, or painful. If she’s of this ilk, keep your
licks light, and next to or above the clit rather than directly on it. Big looping circles
over and around her vulva feel great. But for those who can take it, small circles
around the glans and up over the hood will quickly get them hot and bothered and
eager for more.

Rhythm
Finding a rhythm and staying with it is the key to making a woman come. Once
you’ve gotten her to third base, the way to bring her home is to settle into an
orgasmic groove. Groove to that Barry White CD you’ve got playing on the stereo
and get a vibe going with your mouth. Find something she clearly responds to and
stick with it, damn it.

Moves to try

Slow circles around the clit

Looping figure-eights around the entire vulva
Small, hard, little circles around her clit
Up and down, up and down, right on her button
Small circles alternated with sideways licks

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 Lick up and down, dragging your bottom lip over her clit with each upstroke
Flick your tongue back and forth over her clit like a pornstar
Suck her clit into your mouth and flick your tongue across it
Pointed jabs at the top of her clit with a stiff tongue
Rub your puckered lips over and around her button
Tongue-fuck her opening while using your nose to nuzzle her clit
Hard little jabs at her clit with a stiff tongue
Wide, flat licks that use the entire tongue

Overstimulation
Too much of a good thing can be bad. She’s got so many nerve endings down
there, and you are doing so many fancy tricks that it’s possible to overload her
system. She may indicate this by pulling away, or by shifting around. Ask her what’s
going on. Don’t feel discouraged. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve just sent her
so many pleasurable sensations that her nerves went all crazy.
System overload can take the form of extreme sensitivity to the point of pain. Or
it can be numbness. Either way, back off for a bit. Move your attention to another
area, her nipples, her ass, her feet. Let her clit rest for a minute or two and get back to
its normal sensitivity. She’ll soon come back around and be ready to continue on to
orgasm.

Don’t sprain your tongue

There are many tricks you can employ if your tongue gets tired. Hopefully you’ve
been pacing yourself and varying all your strokes up to this point. You’ve already
brought your lips into play. If your tongue is at a stopping point and she’s nowhere
near home, use your lips to mimic the same rhythm your tongue was tapping. Or
move your entire head around, rather than just your tongue. Use your jaw, and neck
muscles to keep the movement going while giving your tongue a rest. If you get tired
of that, rock your whole body up and down. Alternate this technique with tongue
licks and you can keep going and going like the Energizer bunny.

Read her body language

Every woman is going to respond a little bit differently to sexual stimulation. But
if you are paying attention, you can probably figure out what she wants from you
based on the physical cues she’s giving. Now, I can’t claim to be an expert on every
woman’s reaction, but there are a few maneuvers that are pretty common. And
remember, you can always ask!
She’s grinding her hips:

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 She may be trying to get you to lick a little harder and or faster.
She’s bucking her hips up and down against your face:
She wants more contact or faster, firmer tongue action.
She’s pulling back from your mouth:
She needs a lighter touch. You are using too much pressure.
She’s scooting her kitty right or left:
You probably aren’t hitting her most sensitive spot. Adjust your tongue according
to her movements until she seems satisfied.
She’s curling her hips up toward your face:
You’re tongue action is too high. Lick her a little lower.
She’s pushing her hips down into the bed:
You’re too low. Lick higher up toward the top of her mons.
She twitches or jumps when you get too close to her clit:
Her clit is very sensitive. Avoid direct contact.

She’s getting close

You should always be paying attention to her cues. Is she tensing up? Is her clit
very erect? Is she flushing? When she’s obviously climbing that hill toward orgasm:
her thighs are crushing your head, she’s grabbing at the sheets, she’s screaming your
name, whatever it is that she’s doing… don’t you dare stop what you’re doing until
she goes boom!
Once she’s come, keep your lips in contact with her clit till her orgasm has
completely subsided. If she’s multi-orgasmic, you’ll want to give her the opportunity
to show it. But don’t keep licking until you know she wants to come again.
I had an ex-boyfriend that was really good at it. Sometimes oral sex isn’t enough
to get me off. But my ex, he could make me come really hard every time. I loved it
more than I’ve ever loved it with anyone else. He once made me climax four times in
a row. I guess that would have to be the best experience with cunnilingus I’ve ever
had. Actually, now that I think about it, I really miss him! —Melissa.

Stay in the saddle

Does she come like a bucking bronco? Do you have trouble staying on for more
than 8 seconds? Or does she squeeze your head between her thighs?
I had a lover who grabbed my head very tightly as she was about to climax. Her
index fingers pressed against my temples, which was fine, and in fact, rather exciting.
But from time to time, especially if she was nearing a really big orgasm, her pinky
fingers would dig into the sides of my neck, cutting off the blood supply to my brain.
I didn’t want to stop the action and ruin her fun, so I’d be down there licking away

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like a good little lesbian praying to some unknown deity that my lover would climax
before I passed out. Several times she made me see stars.
It was unintentional, she was just having a really good time totally unaware that I
was about to enter the light like Carol Ann. Of course I talked to her about it after she
had come and had some time to settle down. She was extremely apologetic and
promised to be more careful. But the next time I went South, the same thing
happened. After a few near-death experiences I learned to adjust the angle of my head
when I felt her getting close so that my jugular was safely out of reach.
If your girl thrashes around and gets your head in a death grip, try to carefully
extricate yourself while keeping the action going. Try holding her hands down at her
sides as you feel her approaching orgasm. If it’s her crushing thighs you live in fear
of, try pushing her legs apart with your hands as you lick her. And after she’s come,
find a nice way to bring it up that wont hurt her feelings. And be thankful that your
honey’s orgasms are such good show.

What about that abc trick?

Does that old spell-out-the-alphabet-with-your-tongue trick actually work? Well,
since it’s repetitive, but with a lot of variation, it could in theory make for a nice
rhythm. But if you’re concentrating that hard on the alphabet, how are you paying
attention to her body clues? Unless you’re a prodigy, stick with something simpler.

Tips to take her over the edge

Let’s assume that she’s usually able to orgasm with a partner, and not on muscle
relaxants or Zoloft. Everything is going well, and she’s into it and totally close, but
she just can’t get over that hump. Well, first, the most obvious thing is: She doesn’t
have to come. It’s possible that she doesn’t even want to, and pressuring her is only
annoying her. Let her know that stopping is OK, if that’s what she prefers. But what if
she wants to, yet just… can’t quite do it? Here are some tricks to help make the earth
finally move:

Try changing your stroke (i.e.: from circles, to up and down licks, or
something like that.)
Use your hands to stimulate other erogenous zones: nipples, ass, feet
Stroke her belly to help her relax
Put your fingers in her pussy —as many as will fit. Make her feel filled.
Slide a well-lubed finger in her ass and slowly fuck her with it.
Move away from her clit for a few minutes. She could be over-stimulated.
Give her a brief break, and then return to what you were doing.
Hand her a small vibrator (like a pocket rocket or a mini vibe) to add to your
tongue work

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 Moan or hum into her crotch as you go
Push into her belly just above the pubic bone —applying external pressure to
her uterus
Use your tongue and your fingers on her clit at the same tim

The best I’ve ever had

As far as I’m concerned anyone who truly loves pussy is going to eventually be
great at licking it. All the truly awesome head I’ve gotten in my life has come from
lovers who just couldn’t get enough —they loved, loved, loved it and would have
their face in it 24/7 if they could. They wouldn’t even mind getting all pruny!
Probably the best head I’ve ever had was from a woman who loved my puss with
such vehemence that she refused to stop once I’d climaxed. She just kept at it,
licking, and licking until I came again, and again. No matter what I did, how I
squirmed, how I tried to pry my snatch from her tongue, she just kept going. She kept
me on the edge by constantly varying her technique: She’d pay attention to my clit
for a while, and then fuck my vaginal opening with her tongue, and then nibble my
inner lips, then lick lightly at my outer, and so on. She used her fingers in my cunt
and in my ass. She stroked my thighs and belly. She touched me in every way you
can possibly imagine. I must have had eight orgasms in the span of two hours.
She claimed going down on me was her very favorite thing to do. One afternoon,
as the sun beamed through my curtains onto our sex bed, and we lay there exhausted
after a marathon session, my lover dozed next to me, happy and sticky. I was so
thoroughly sated, I got up my nerve and gushingly exclaimed to that her she gave the
best head I’d ever had in my life.
She was so pleased you would have thought that I’d handed the woman a check.
She said it was the best compliment she’d ever received. And that being great at
going down was her ultimate goal. No wonder she was so good at it!

Advice from a pro

According to a sizeable sample of women I know, my good friend Ian is credited
with giving the best head. So I asked him to share his top ten tips.

1. Really enjoy it.

2. Don’t look at it as obligation because she did you.
3. Love the power you wield as the source of her pleasure.
4. Pay close attention to what you’re doing. Focus. Don’t zone out.
5. Know that her pleasure centers can shift around from one time to the next.
6. Have stamina. Commit to being down there for as long as it takes.
7. Tease her for a long time before going anywhere near her clit

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 8. Vary your strokes. Don’t let her get bored.
9. Gradually build the intensity of your tongue work
10. Bury your face in her snatch, really show her how much you are enjoying it.

Tips for Tops

On my back with legs spread is the position I was born to be in —but obviously
not all of us feel that way. So what do you do with someone who is usually the
aggressor, but is eager to experience the wonders of your tongue? If you’re the top,
and you think the idea of being licked into oblivion sounds great, but you feel
awkward on your back, try ordering your little oral servant around!
Be demanding. Be dirty. Push him or her down and straddle his face. Or push her
head between your legs and hold it there. There are many delightful ways to enjoy
getting eaten out while still engaging in the top-bottom dynamic you and your partner
enjoy. The big love of my life puts the T in Top, and she spends plenty of time on her
back with my face between her thighs. She gets pleasured without ever giving up her
status as king of the bed. She has me so trained that even thinking about going down
on her gets me wet. So remember, getting done does not a bottom make. Tops get off
too!

Gender and genitals

Genitals and gender don’t always coalesce the way we expect them to. Gender is
a spectrum and people can fall anywhere on it. If your lover is transgendered,
communicate openly with him or her about how they would like their genitals treated
and touched. I’m guessing whatever he or she calls it, they want your mouth on it!
How does your female lover relate to her pussy? Is she comfortable with it? If
she’s a lesbian with a more masculine identity ease her into oral sex by sucking her
cock. If she usually wears a strap-on, go down on that thing with as much delight and
horny eagerness as you’re feeling. Make your enjoyment obvious to her.
Get her hot by looking up at her and letting her enjoy the visual of your mouth
stretched around her dildo. Gauge her level of arousal. Some women can come this
way. If she’s able to do so, great! But if she needs direct stimulation of her clitoris,
use her cock as a pleasure conduit until she’s extremely turned on. When she’s
reached a point of no return, ask her to take it off. Once you’ve made contact, don’t
suddenly change your tactic and get all rough and ready. Let her know how much
desire you’re feeling.
This is not a time to try out any fancy new moves. Just keep working her clit with
your mouth. Look up at her, let her enjoy the visual of you working hard between her
legs. Moan and groan and let yourself go. Don’t pressure her to come. But if she’s

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ready for this kind of experience, and you don’t pull any crazy role switching on her,
you just may make it happen.
A note for the big, bad butch girls: Butches and femmes speak different
languages. She may not know what you want and she might be shy about trying
things you haven’t explicitly asked for. Be clear about your desires!

The strap-on bj
Giving your girl a strap-on blow job can be a searingly hot pre-pussy licking
pleasure. Keep in mind that strapons are largely psychological. So help her get off on
the visual thrill by putting on a show. Here are some tips to get the party started!

Nibble and lick her thighs and belly, grab her ass, touch her all over before
putting her cock in your mouth.
Tease her cock. Use all the same tricks you’d use before approaching her clit.
Treat her dildo as if it were a real dick. Lick it, tease it, circle the head of it
with your tongue. Lick the underside. If it has balls, don’t leave them out.
Keep everything visible. She’s getting off on the view. Don’t let your hair
cover your face.
Look up at her while you suck her dick. Let her enjoy the way you look with
her cock in your mouth
Wrap your hand around the base of her dildo and push it into her crotch as
you suck.
Slide your mouth down on it as far as you can. Try and take all of it.
Slip some fingers behind her harness and tease her cunt while you suck.
Finger her butthole.
Alternate your strokes. Don’t get repetitive.

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 Five

Positions

There are any number of positions for two people can get into to enjoy a little
knob jobbing, all you need is an imagination and a willing partner. Hell, you don’t
even need a horizontal surface, just kneel in front of her stick out your tongue and
nuzzle away —you can do that anywhere.
That said, there are a few tried and true formations that have stood the test of time
and since they probably weren’t covered in your high school sex ed class or on the
Discovery channel I’m going to lay out a couple of them here.
Some of these positions may seem obvious some will be all new. If you’ve been
in a monogamous relationship for several years, and all you ever do in plop down on
your back and spread your legs then you probably need a few reminders about all the
exciting formations you and your lucky licker could be creating. Sometimes
monogamy, as wonderful as it is, can lead to laziness and rote behavior in the
bedroom. So, sweetie, you partnered pussy lickers need a little refresher course. And
you single gals and guys need one as well. Don’t be a one trick pony, even when it’s
with a different pony every night.
Read this chapter and go do a few yoga stretches. Your pussy, or your woman’s
pussy, will thank you.

On her back
The classic position for dining at the Y has many wonderful benefits. As the
licker, you have easy access to everything you need to have access to. You can reach
up to touch her breasts, stroke her belly, and grab onto her hips to pull her muff closer
to your face while you lick her. You can easily incorporate penetration in this
position, so go ahead and stuff a few digits into her vagina or her ass. And maybe
most important, this position allows you the most access to her entire vulva. You
aren’t tethered by her body on top of you, and you control how close you can get to
her. These are great things.
She’s reclining which makes it easier for her to relax and go to her happy place.
She can prop herself up on her elbows if she wants to increase the intimacy by
making eye contact with you, and she can lie back down when that eye contact gets
too intense. She isn’t supporting her weight and doesn’t have anything else to
concentrate on beside the warm wet tongue gliding across her special purpose.

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 The one drawback of this one is that it can be a bit of a neck breaker. And if she’s
a slow comer, you risk serious neck strain. My friend Ian showed up to dinner at my
place one night with the most curious posture. After some prodding about what
caused his neck to bend in such a swan-like manner, he confessed that the night
before he crawled between the thighs of his lovely girlfriend and eagerly licked her
magic nubbin for a full ninety minutes before she confessed she had taken a Flexeril
for her pulled hamstring and probably wasn’t going to reach fruition until her
medication had worn off in four hours. So before you start, you should always ask
yourself, Am I going to be comfortable in this position for the next four hours?

How it looks
She lies on her back on the bed or some other comfortable horizontal surface. You
lie on your stomach with your face between her legs and lick away. You can support
your upper body weight with your arms by crossing them under your chest or
propping yourself on your elbows. Or if you prefer, cross your arms over her thighs,
or wrap them around her legs.

Variations
There are all sorts of various ways to add a little spice to this position. Push her
knees up, or push just one knee up to change the angle of her vulva in relation to your
tongue. Place pillows under her ass to raise her up. Have her put her feet on your
shoulders. Or have her grab her own legs behind the knees and hold them up. Try the
«Sex Sling,» a piece of nylon webbing that goes behind her neck and under her
knees, supporting the weight of her legs and allowing her to keep them in the air for
extended periods of time. It’s a great little device to incorporate into extended periods
of oral play, or anything else for that matter.

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 My girlfriend and I mastered the art of sixty-nine and the simultaneous orgasm.
It’s really a skill to match your bodies pussy-to-mouth on both ends and still be able
to concentrate on giving good head. Plus, she was a quick come, so in the beginning
she’d get into getting off and lose focus on licking me. I was a good sport about it, of
course. But I really wanted to make us come together. So after putting in many hours
maneuvering our way across each others bodies we figured out that her on top, me
underneath worked the best for getting and giving at the same time. The first time we
had simultaneous Os I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. We loved doing it so
much we eve lost interest in fucking for a while. —Mary.

The art of 69
Oh yes, the ever-popular sixty-nine position has many, many advantages —not
the least of which is the simultaneous stimulation of both partner’s genitals. Referring
of course to the reciprocal positions of the participants bodies like in the number 69,
this position requires one party to lie on her back, while the other party lies on top of
her in the opposite direction thereby introducing a mouth to both pussies or a pussy
and cock if you’re that way. Reciprocal rug-munching side-by-side style instead of
with one person on top is also called sixty-nine, just in case you were wondering.
This position is great because it’s a two player game, allows both parties access to
the entire vulva, and the person lying on her back can easily reach her partners cute
little butt hole as well. It’s often a little harder to get to the butt hole of the person
lying down, but with some maneuvering you’ll manage it.
Both partners in this position can control their reach, pulling their partners
naughty bits as close to their face as they like. This is also a great position if you want
to penetrate your partner while you go down on her. If she’s on top, her ass and cunt
are in the air just waiting for a finger or two, or maybe a hand-held dick or butt plug.
If she’s on her back, you can easily reach her cunt with fingers or a handheld cock.
This position is perfect for male-female couples because the woman can crawl on
top and control the amount of cock she takes in her mouth, either choosing to
showboat her deep-throat skills a bit, or backing off her gag reflex and taking it easy.
If she’s on the bottom, she can easily reach her partners asshole while she sucks him
off. If he’s eager for a little backdoor action, well, great. But if he’s nervous, then the
sixty-nine position might just be the way to introduce his ass to the thrill of your
finger. There is so much going on with your cunt in his face and his cock in your
mouth, that he wont have time to get nervous about what’s going on until he’s already
enjoying it. That little tip holds true for lesbians too. If either partner is shy about anal
play, I say ease them into it with some hot, raucous sex and a few orgasms. Then
sneak up on them if you have to!
Sixty-nine does have a few minor drawbacks. Sometimes it’s hard to concentrate
on giving good head when you’re getting close to the big O and vice versa.

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Sometimes extreme differences in height can make it difficult to reach your partners
cunt when yours is attached to their face. Also, for the top, it can be awkward to
support your body weight for as long as two orgasms take.

How it looks
One person lies on her back, the other person crawls on top of them facing the
opposite way uniting their mouth with the bottom’s genitals and their genitals with
the bottom’s mouth. Voila!

Variations
If your height difference prevents you from joining mouth to cunt on both ends,
join mouth to cunt —or cock— on one end, and fingers to cunt on the other. Perhaps
your partner wants you to fuck her while she licks you? Maybe she wants to feel your
fingers circling her clit. Try out a few different tricks until you figure out what she’s
craving. If you don’t quickly realize what she wants… ask, silly! Don’t be afraid to
give her pleasure without focusing on orgasms. Sixty-nine can be great foreplay fun.
When one or both of you wants to come, it’s okay to switch to another position that
allows more focused access.

Seated
When your lady is sitting in a chair and you’re kneeling between her legs she gets
to feel like a princess being serviced. Your head is within easy reach so she can
indicate when she wants you to use more pressure by pulling your face closer to her
cunt. She can direct your movements with her hands and pull your hair when she’s
really excited. Not only that, but she gets the added thrill of watching your tongue as
it glides all over her snatch and hard clit. She can look down between her legs and see

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your tongue hard at work, and watch her own body as it changes and responds to the
stimulation. Sitting down allows her to relax and enjoy the show without worrying
about supporting her weight or concentrating on your pleasure as well. In fact, all she
needs to do is relax, enjoy herself, and come.
For the licker, having your woman sitting down in front of you also allows you to
see more of what’s going on. Because you aren’t prone, you have more freedom of
movement. You can pull back and study her cunt up close and personal. It may just be
the best view you can get of her special place. Go ahead and revel in the beauty of her
pussy. Just don’t stare in a clinical way make her feel like she’s at the gyno!
In this position you have a lot of access to her body, you can raise yourself up
onto your knees to reach her breasts and kiss her mouth. You can wrap your hands
around her thighs and caress her legs and hips. And if she leans back, you can easily
fuck her vagina and ass with fingers or toys.
As long as you kneel on a pillow or something soft, there really are no drawbacks
to this position. It’s possible that the kneeling partner may feel as if the power
dynamic is unbalanced, that is, perhaps they feel like an oral sex service bottom (um,
hot!). So discuss any stuff like that when it comes up for you. Power dynamics can be
especially exciting and add spice to any sexual activity. So if kneeling in front of her
makes you feel submissive, try going with that feeling and see where it takes you.

How it looks
Sit your girlfriend in a chair or at the end of the bed and kneel between her open
thighs. Enjoy the sight of her wet snatch as you lick her into orgasmic bliss.

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Variations
Try kneeling in front of your lady as she’s standing up with her legs spread. This
way you can grab her ass and really pull her cookie into your mouth. If she’s a bigger
girl, this position may not give you enough access to the vulva. Don’t be afraid to
spread her open with your fingers. Pull back on her mons to expose the little man in
the boat. If it’s not working out for either of you, worship her belly and thighs with
your tongue, then have her lie back for the main event. Or try something else. Try
sitting on the kitchen counter, at the edge of the tub, or a comfy park bench.

Sit on my face
My friend Mike says, «Ohh, he’s a face hat» when he thinks a guy is hot. You can
make your favorite cutie into a face hat by having her kneel over your head and
crouch down against your face. This is a fun position. Next to sixty-nine, it’s got the
most skin-to-skin contact of any of the classics. She has all of the control. She can
smother you with her wet box if you two are pervy that way, or she can pull back and
dole out her clit to your tongue in tiny amounts, like a rich treat. You can reach up
and grab her ass or wrap your hands around her thighs to pull her closer. There are all
sorts of special sensory thrills with this position. Having your face pinned to the bed
by her pink is extra yummy. And if her thighs are pressed to your ears and blocking
out background sounds, all the better. Your pretty lady can gaze down at your face, as
you’re hard at work. The view is hot, so give her a good show. Because your head is
supported in this position, any fears she may have about you getting physically tired
are allayed and she can more easily concentrate on the good feelings. She can choose
how much mouth to cookie contact you have and can even take total control by
fucking your face with her cunt rather than just simply accepting your oral
ministrations. She can lean forward and support herself against the wall, headboard,
edge of the couch, etc. depending on where you two are. Or she can sit straight up
and gaze down at you. Encourage her to crouch over your face on all fours if it seems
like her legs are tiring.

How it looks
You lie on your back, she kneels on either side of your face crouching low enough
that her muff makes contact with your mouth.

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Variations
She can kneel over you facing the opposite direction so that her butt is right in
your face if you like that kind of thing. She can even get onto all fours and crouch
over you in a modified sixty-nine.

Sidelying
She can lie on her side and you can rest your head between her thighs, kind of
making your head into the jam in a thigh sandwich. If you’re worried she’s going to
squeeze her legs together possibly snapping your neck when she comes, then her
other leg can rest on your shoulders or torso. This is a really comfortable position and
allows a good deal of access to her entire crotch. Plus it’s all snuggly warm between
her legs. She’s relaxed, you’re relaxed, everyone’s having a great time and no one is
supporting his or her body weight or being smothered. You can easily use her legs as
handles to pull her as close as you like. You can snuggle right up against her naughty
bits or pull back to tease her a bit. Also you can reach behind her and grab her ass.
She can wrap her legs around you for added skin on skin contact. This is especially
nice if your neck tends to get tired when she’s on her back and your are between her
legs. It has a similar feel to it, but it’s less arduous.

How it looks
She lies on her side and scissors her legs open. You rest your head on her thigh
with your mouth pushed up against her clam. She then finds a comfortable position
for her other leg, either scissoring your head or hanging it over your shoulder. Fiddle
around until it’s comfortable.

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Variations
You can come at her box from either side. What this means is that if you lie with
your left ear against her thigh you’ll be nose to clit. If you lie with your right ear
against her thigh you’ll be nose to perineum (or «taint» as most people call it). This is
a good position to offer both of you a bit of mobility. Try rolling around with each
other while trying to stay connected. It’s fun!

Doggy style
Doggy style is a perennial fave. Really nothing beats it for pure aesthetic appeal.
It’s hot and naughty and the view is great. With her face in the pillow and her ass in
the air you can gaze lovingly at all the good stuff. She gets to feel like a dirty porn
queen on all fours with her back arched, offering her body up for your oral worship.
And you get to lick her stem to stern with no furniture or pillows or other body parts
in the way. She’s comfortable, you’re comfortable, and most importantly you have
easy access to her ass! She can turn around and look at you, or give you instructions.
Or she can look straight ahead and concentrate on all the good feelings. You can get
your face as close to her as you like, or you can pull away and switch to fingers for a
little variety. Depending on how bendy she is you may have trouble getting to her clit.
She should arch her back as much as comfortable, and if you still need more access,
lie on your back and dive under her in a modified sit on my face formation. This is
also a perfect position for rimming. I highly recommend it.

How it looks
She gets on all fours and your approach her from behind.

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Variations
Bend her over the couch. Or for added raunch appeal, she can bend over and grab
on to a chair. Basically any position the two of you can get in that involves her being
bent over, and your face in her crotch, is going to be a good one.

66 great places to eat pussy

Pool tables, bar bathrooms, under her desk at her office, the backseat, the front
seat, at the movies, at the library, at her parents house, at the mall, on the sofa, at the
dining table, on the kitchen counter, gallery openings, in the locker room, shoe stores,
under the table at a restaurant, deserted subway cars, drive-thru car washes, airplanes,
trains, buses, in a swimming pool, picnic tables, the woods, the shower, deserted
playgrounds, the ocean, at a drive-in, donut shops, in an elevator, motel rooms, in a
lake, in a garage, in your backyard, in a van, at a porno theater, in a hammock,
construction sites, convents, barns, on a motorcycle, at The Vagina Monologues, sex
clubs, steam rooms, in a recliner, on a waterbed, amusement park rides, horse drawn
carriages, in a dressing room, on a boat, at the opera, caves, a golf course, in the hot
tub, on the floor, in an empty classroom, in a tent, on a baseball diamond, in the
mountains, in an RV, at a rest stop, on a roof top, in a dungeon, on top of the Eiffel
Tower, helicopters, and of course, in a bed.

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 Six

Toys and Penetration

Cunnilingus with penetration is just like an ’80s power ballad. Your tongue is
dancing around doing a fancy bunch of Eddie Van Halen guitar licks, and your
fingers are inside her creating a good, strong Michael Anthony bass line. The
resulting hit will get you a rock god reputation.
Keep in mind that some women may enjoy oral sex as a welcome break from
fucking, so don’t just assume she wants something inside her. Find out if she likes it
first. How? Ask her, silly. Read her body signals. And even if she says «yes, please!»
to a little finger bang, you should still start out slowly. Don’t be trying to shove your
hand in there right away. You don’t get extra points for speed.
Fingers are, of course, the perfect tool for prodding your sweetie while giving her
head. They’re communicative, you can feel every little sensation, every ripple of her
pussy. Also, they’re flexible and can reach around and explore all her secret spots. A
lubed-up finger tickling her anus might be just the trick to send her over the edge. Try
it and see!

Grooming
Please make sure your hands are nicely groomed. Excessively long nails, nicks,
cuts, and scratchy callouses can be hazardous for one or both parties. You should
always make sure your hands are well-scrubbed (i.e. clean) and ready for action. You
may have already deployed them to help pull back her clitoral hood or splay her inner
labia. The next step is to make sure they’re well lubed. She’s probably dripping wet
from the tongue bath you’re giving her, but that doesn’t mean you won’t need it.
Commercial lubricants have a cushioning effect that saliva can’t duplicate. Even the
wettest of pussies can benefit from a little extra slipperiness. You can never have too
much lube. It really improves everything.
Tip: Keep latex gloves at the ready. A necessary component of safer-sex, latex
gloves also make your fingers smooth and slippery for decreased friction.

Types of lube
If you already have a favorite lube, that’s great. If not, find something water based
and unscented. There are too many lubes on the market to list; the best way to find
one you like is to buy sample sizes of several different brands. Experiment until you

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find something you can both agree on. I’ve converted to silicone lube for everything
and can’t see myself ever using anything else, but lube, like a lot of things in sex, is
all about personal preference. Vaginal lubrication can not always be counted on and
most of the time women are wettest when they first get turned on but half way
through the fucking it’s been mostly wiped away.
Tip: You should never go anywhere near anyone’s ass without lube.
There are three basic varieties of lube: Silicone, water-based, and oil-based. Each
type has it’s own pluses and minuses.
Water-based lubes are suitable for all types of sex. They dry quickly but can be
revived with a spritz of water or saliva. They often contain glycerine, which has been
known to cause yeast infections, though these days more and more manufacturers are
creating glycerin-free lubes. Read the ingredients. Water-based lubes are compatible
with all safer-sex supplies and sex toys.
Silicone lubes feel great and stay slippery much, much longer. They are totally
waterproof, great for hot tub parties. But they don’t wash off very easily. I’ve found
myself still slippery post sleep and shower. They are compatible with everything
except silicone sex toys. Never use silicone lube with silicone sex toys. The lube will
erode the surface of the toy.
Oil-based lubes are fantastic for sensual massage, hand jobs for guys, and a little
finger up the bum action now and then. Oil-based lubricants are not designed for
penetrative vaginal sex. They don’t wash out easily and can block your pores and
lead to infection.

Adding a finger
Start out by slipping in a single digit and gauge her reaction. A groan of pleasure
is a good sign. And if she’s pressing herself down onto your hand you can bet she
wants more. Point that digit up toward the front of her vag and press against the front
of the vaginal wall while maintaining an in and out thrusting motion. Don’t stop
licking, of course!
Do the old «come hither» trick with curved fingers and wiggle them back and
forth toward the front of her vagina. If she’s into G spot play, then feel around for the
bumpy, ridgy section toward the front of her vaginal wall. Curl your fingers up
toward your tongue and work her G from the inside while you work her clit from the
outside. Press firmly. Add more fingers as you go, making sure to check in with her
about what she wants. She may want you to keep thrusting. She may need you to
concentrate on G spot pressure. She may want to feel filled up by your fist. Go
slowly. Pay attention to her physical cues, and communicate verbally.
Once you’ve warmed her up sufficiently, you can try coaxing a finger past the
gates of heaven. Tease her first with lots of light little circles around her pucker —or
anything else that drives her crazy— then begin to penetrate her by pressing your

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fingertip against her butt hole. If she’s ready and willing, you’ll feel her ass open up
to accept it. Slide in just the tip and see how she likes it. If her reaction is favorable,
push your finger farther up her bum. Keep your finger lubed up and slip it in and out
slowly. As you feel her muscles relax, you can vary your movements and speed. Ask
her how she likes it, and progress slowly. If she’s really into it, you may add another
finger. Aim for a slow in and out fucking motion, and whatever you do, keep licking!

Her ass prefers poetry

If it’s the ass your finger’s after, start slowly. Extra slowly. Try teasing it with lots
of tiny circles before you go sticking anything in there. Use plenty of lube and a light
touch. Lightly stroke her butt hole for a while. Pet it, let her anticipate the pleasure
your about to give her. The ass needs lots of coaxing. It’s the shy sensitive type. Give
it gentleness, and lots of honest communication, and you’ll win its heart. Anal
penetration isn’t part of the oral sex power ballad. It’s more like a James Taylor song.
Or Joni Mitchell. The ass likes a little bit of poetry.
«My boyfriend has a tried-and-true method. He gives me lots of direct tongue
until I’m close. When he senses I’m close but not over the hump, he backs off my clit
and slowly begins teasing my ass with his finger. He then fucks me slowly with his
finger while he goes back to licking my clit. I come like crazy». —Monique
If your girl is game, filling both holes at the same time can be mind-blowing. One
option for this activity is to have a finger in her ass and your thumb in her pussy. But
experiment with different combinations of fingers and holes till you figure out the
perfect finger banging formation.

Toys for twats

Fingers are wonderful, and readily available. But sex toys can deliver a whole
rainbow of fruit flavors. Toys are like condiments, they enhance the flavor of your
meal, but certainly won’t take the place of your entrée. So don’t be worried about
over using them. Even if the final stretch of her orgasm is powered by her Hitachi
Magic Wand, she still needs you between her legs.
Keep your options open by investing in a few well-made sex toys. If you’re on a
budget, you’ll just want the basics. A strong, but small, vibrator like the Pocket
Rocket, and a good firm silicone dildo, especially one with a G spot curve, are a great
place to start. Stick with silicone because it’s boilable and non-porous, which means
you can sterilize it. Other mystery plastics and rubbers may cost less, but they
breakdown much faster and bacteria can thrive on their porous surfaces.
Tip: Glass toys are totally non-porous and super slippery —acrylic too!— so you
can fuck for a long, long time without becoming sore.

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Basic items for your toy chest
A roll of saran wrap (for safer licking and improvised bondage).
Dental dams and condoms.
A vibrator small enough to use during intercourse.
A silicone dildo with a flared base (so you can use it in either hole).
Small silicone buttplug.
Nipple clamps.

Luxury items
Hitachi Magic Wand (because a wand is a terrible thing to waste).
A curved G spot stimulator.
An insertable glass or acrylic toy.
A bullet vibe.
Restraints of some type (fur lined are comfy!)
A blindfold.
A larger buttplug (for overachievers).
A dildo harness.

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 Tip: If you’d like to use the same toy anally and vaginally, or be able to swap it with
your honey, put a condom on it. Use a fresh condom for each hole the toy goes near.

Keep your toys clean

Clean plastic vibrators with alcohol. Do not immerse battery vibes in water,
they’ll corrode! Silicone toys can be washed in soap and water or boiled, but the lazy
man’s way to clean silicone toys is to stick them in the top rack of the dishwasher.
Just make sure to empty it before your mom comes over. Rubber toys are porous and
can harbor bacteria, so it’s best to always cover them in condoms. Clean them with
soap and water and let them air dry.

Vibrators are your friend

If your lady takes a while to come, or is stubbornly anticlimactic, adding a vibe to
your sex play can take the pressure off for both of you. She’ll know an orgasm awaits
her and that will relieve her stress level, allowing her to concentrate better on the
wonderful job your tongue is doing. And with the wand that goes buzz at the ready,
you can both be confident that she’ll come before your face falls off.
Don’t feel shy about including this tool. Many, many women prefer to come with
one. It doesn’t mean you are —or that she’s— inadequate. It simply means she likes
the buzz. You can alternate vibration with tongue action, or think of the vibrator as
the close-out relief pitcher. Lick her till the bottom of the ninth, then bring in the
magic arm.

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 Insertable vibrators can really add some extra-special sensation to oral sex. Try
any type of insertable vibe whose shape you find appealing. Long, hard plastic
slimlines are great. They’re a classic, and they come in just about every color and
pattern imaginable. I personally own one in silver, one in leopard print, and one in
pink sparkles, because I never know what color lingerie I’ll be wearing, and I like to
match my toys to my outfit.

Go for the G
Angled G spot toys are another great option for extra fun. They feel great, and
they may just make your girl gush in a way she never knew she could. The first time
a lover tongued me while she fucked me with a G spot curved dildo, I came so hard
she could have drowned. Consider yourself warned.
Anything curved and firm is a good option for pushing on her magic G, but
certain toys are specially designed to hit «the spot». Many people swear by the G spot
attachment for the head of a Hitachi Magic Wand. It’s only drawback is that it’s
cumbersome and can be difficult to use while you’re licking her box.
The crystal wand is another G spot winner. It’s 10 inches of curved Lucite
specially designed to reach her magic spot. It’s thin and easily maneuverable so you
can keep it out of the way of your tongue. Also its small circumference ensures that it
won’t get in the way of her ejaculation —should she be so inclined.
«I have a pink jelly rubber G spot vibrator. I really squirt a lot. It’s not just a few
tablespoons that come out —it’s like a cup or more of liquid. She occasionally gets
shot in the face. I used to feel bad about that until she convinced me that she loved
it». —Sara
Buttplugs offer a cute, hands-free way to fill her up. Pop one in and lick away.
She gets the throbby little zing of anal stimulation, and you don’t have to work any
harder. Try pressing a vibrator to the base of a silicone buttplug. Silicone transmits
vibrations very well, so this little trick can make her go crazy. Anal beads are another
good-time toy. Stuff them up her bum and then pop them out one at a time as she
nears orgasm, or pull them out all at once as she comes. Look for anal beads that are
dipped in silicone. They clean up extremely easily, and can be sterilized. If you buy
plastic beads, check first for any hard ridges. Nothing sharp should ever go near the
ass. It’s delicate in there.

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 You can also fuck her ass with a dildo of whatever size and shape she desires. Use
liberal amounts of lube on any toy that’s going in her ass. Remember: Anything that
does must have a flared base. Remember that old wives’ tale about things getting
sucked up into the ass and lost? Well, that’s not urban folklore, baby! It happens.
Tip: Keep yourself out of the emergency room by using toys designed for anal
play.
Try out some love nipple clamps. Not only do they have a delightful kinky feel,
but nipple clamps that have a chain running between them are extremely versatile.
Clamp her nips and tug on the chain with your hand while you nuzzle her box. Or try
clamping them to her inner or outer labia, then tug away while you’re licking her clit.
Don’t leave clamps on for too long. The longer they are on the more painful it will be
when they come off. Twenty minutes or less is a good rule of thumb.

Female ejaculation for lovers

Female ejaculation is more than a neat party trick. It’s also empowering and
totally hot. It’s visible proof she caught the brass ring. Want to make her squirt? Try
this:

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 Important: All women are different, so there’s no guarantee it’ll happen. Not
everyone enjoys G spot play. And pressuring her to squirt will only piss her off. Only
try these tips if all parties agree they want a gusher.
First, the would-be squirter should go take a tink. If she’s new to G spot play, the
sensations can be confused with the need to pee. If her bladder is empty, she’ll have
less to worry about.
If she’s never squirted before, then choose an angled G spot toy for this exercise.
Fingers or a fist also work, but toys are easier to maneuver.
Warm her up in the usual manner. Fondle, caress, and kiss her. Do what it takes to
get her turned on. Talk dirty. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Go down on her.
Lick her lovingly. Get her hot and bothered. Lick her until she’s close, but don’t let
her come just yet.
Stick two well-lubed fingers into her and feel around toward the roof of her vag.
Aim for the ridgy, bumpy area just about an inch or two inside and press firmly. The
G spot only gets firm and fills with fluid when she’s very aroused. The hotter she is,
the more prominent her G will be, and the more likely she’ll be to squirt. Drag your
fingers back-and-forth over her spot as you continue your tongue action. Keep
stimulating it. She may feel like she has to pee. She doesn’t. It feels that way because
the G spot, also known as the periurethral sponge, surrounds her urethra. So when
you stimulate it, you’re also stimulating her urethra. Talk to her, check in and see
how’s she’s feeling. Does she want more pressure? Less? Ask!
Once you’ve gotten a feel for where her G spot is and how much pressure feels
good to her, take out your G spot toy and lube it up.
Slide the toy into her box with the angled tip pointing up toward the top wall of
her cunt.
As you lick her, fuck her firmly with the toy, keeping most of the pressure toward
the front wall of her pussy. As she gets close to orgasm she will probably begin to
bear down, effectively pushing the toy out of her box. You should continue to push
back until the moment of orgasm. Let her push it out as she comes. Don’t push it in,
you’ll block the flow. This is a timing trick. You want the toy out of the way of her
flow, but not before she’s riding the orgasmic wave. Pull it out at the right time and
don’t be surprised if you get a faceful of girljuice!

G! My Puss Feels Terrific!

Learn more about G spot play with these educational G spot videos
G Marks the Spot dir: Lena Haas [Sexpositive Productions, 2003]
How to Female Ejaculate: Find Your G-Spot dir: Nan Kinney [Fatale Video,
1992]
Magic of Female Ejaculation dir: Dorrie Lane [House O’ Chicks, 2002]

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 The Guide to G-Spots and Multiples: The Ultimate O dir: none [Sinclair Intimacy
Institute, 1995]

If you want to squirt

Hopefully all this attention to your G spot feels good. And if it doesn’t you
shouldn’t feel weird or awkward. It’s different for everyone.
You’ve emptied your bladder so ignore any signals your body may be giving you
that feel like you have to pee. You don’t. Whatever happens is going to be fun, so
concentrate on letting go.
The big difference, in my experience, between squirters and non-squirters is
whether they push out or pull in during the big O. Squirting requires you to bear
down and push out during orgasm rather than clenching your muscles and pulling in.
So push out as your partner fucks you, and enjoy the feeling of the G spot toy
dragging against your special love button. When the time comes to come, bear down
through your orgasm and let the magic flow.
If it doesn’t work the first time… well, you had fun didn’t you? Just try, try again.
My wife had gotten hold of a copy of a video called «How to Female Ejaculate»,
and we thought we’d give it a try. Now, if I had known that she was such a quick
study I would have worn my snorkel, because with just the right combination of dildo
and tongue action our bed became an underwater wonderland. Needless to say, since
that experience, I’ve learned to hold my breath at just the right moment. —Dave.

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 Seven

Love Your Ass

We all know that the butthole is an extra-sensitive, nerve-filled enigma, and a

pathway to extreme pleasure. But sadly, it often doesn’t get the attention it deserves.
It’s like the wistful little wallflower at the homecoming dance. She’s secretly an
animal in bed, but no one will take her home and find out because they’re too afraid
of what their friends will think.

Rim her
Analingus, also known as rimming, is the fine art of eating ass. Why eat ass, you
ask? Because, duh, it’s fun. It’s hot, a little naughty, and feels great. Asslicking is on
the verge of becoming the sexual practice of open-minded lovers everywhere. Trust
me, becoming a great lay is all about the ass, baby. Wanna go down in history as the
mouth that blew her mind? Eat her ass. And hey, if you’re licking pussy, you’re down
there anyway, so why not give the pink star a little attention?
If anal sex is on your mind, rimming is a sure-fire way to warm her up. And if
she’s nervous about getting fucked in the ass, starting her out with a slippery, soft
tongue might just get her excited enough to crave it.
I remember clearly the first time someone went near my ass with her tongue. I
was lying on my stomach in bed with my lover. She was nibbling and biting my ass
and generally hovering around down there with what were obviously prurient
intentions. I was already feeling nervous and excited that so much attention was
being paid to my ass. But I was totally unprepared for her wet mouth right up against
my butt hole!
I nearly died from pleasure. I loved it, but of course, it was hard to remain
relaxed. I worried about my smell and taste, and kept trying to squirm away from her
tongue. In my mind, there was no way she could be enjoying what she was doing.
Lucky for me, she sensed the insecurity behind my reluctance and refused to
cease and desist. She held me down. I gave in and relaxed —then whoa! From that
day on, my world was rocked. I was a huge fan of that act and that lady from that
point on. Her eager tongue has earned her a place on my list of all-time greatest
lovers.
I’ve seen even enlightened sex-positive types blanch at the thought of sticking
their tongue between someone’s ass cheeks or having a tongue down around their
own little wallflower. Boy, are they ever missing out! Rimming can add a whole new

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spectrum of pleasure to a session of oral sex. Your butthole is a super-sensitive,
extremely responsive horny little slut of a hole. Even the tiniest little touches can
register high on the sensation scale. Learn to treat it right and it can become a
pathway to Nirvana.
It’s true that there are a lot of taboos surrounding the ass as a place of sexual
pleasure. Some people think that enjoying a little tushie attention means they’re a big
ol pervert, or a slut, or a weirdo. Some people can’t get past the idea that the butt is a
dirty place. And other people may actually dream of uniting a slippery, wet tongue
with a sensitive butthole, but they’re way too intimidated to talk about it.
Well, let’s face it. The world is a dirty place. There may be lots of taboos
surrounding any type of anal stimulation, but breaking taboos is half the fun of great
sex.

Embrace your butt

The first step in having fun with your ass is becoming friends with it. Get to know
your butt, learn to love it and relax it. We carry a lot of tension down there. You’d be
surprised at just how much. Most of us are walking around with a tightly clenched
asshole. It’s a repository for stress, just like the jaw, neck, and shoulders. When our
upper body is tense, we realize it and try to relax. Learning to do the same thing with
your butt hole is the first step toward getting into butt sex fun. So relax, relax, relax.

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 Try this exercise: Take a deep breath and hold it. Tightly clench your butthole
closed. Really squeeze it hard. Hold for a count of ten seconds. Exhale and release
the tension in your ass at the same time. Do this a few times. Then do a series of
quick little clenches —open, close, open, close— as fast as you can. Try to clench
and release 10 consecutive times. Then consciously relax your sphincter as much as
possible. How do you feel? Lighter? More open? Good.
Next stop, a hot bath. We’re going on a little exploratory mission that should help
you learn to love your butthole.

Take a look
While your bath is running, take a good long look at your anus in a hand mirror.
Your partner is going to have his or her mouth down there, and getting familiar with
what they will be looking at is a good way to feel more secure.
You’ve probably got some hair growing around your anus. Everyone does. It’s
totally normal. If you don’t like it, shave it, wax it, or use some other method to make
your pucker hair-free.
Get into your hot bath and relax a few minutes. Think about how squeaky clean
you’re going to be and how awesome your partner’s tongue is going to feel pressed
up against your asshole. Wash your pussy and ass with a mild non-deodorant soap.
Gently soap up your butthole and run your finger all around it. Press lightly against
your hole and feel yourself open up. Once you’re used to the sensation, stick that
soapy finger where the sun don’t shine and wash the first inch or so inside your ass.
Probe your butthole with that soapy finger, fuck yourself a little.
This is a great way to help your anus relax and prepare it for the pleasures to
come. Rinse well. You’ll be super squeaky clean and prepared for anything. Just so
you know, a freshly-washed asshole is about as clean as your garden variety vagina,
and we lick that all the time.
Anal exploring does not necessarily mean you’ll come into contact with poop,
and even if you do, so what? Get over your fear of encountering shit. It’s not that big
of a deal! Everything is washable, and prudes are not sexy.
You can always rely on a latex barrier for a cootie-free experience. And if you’re
planning on rimming a casual partner, I highly suggest using a barrier anyway.
There’s nothing hot about unsafe sex.

For the clean-freaks

If you feel really nervous about the cleanliness of your ass, you can give yourself
an enema. An enema washes any minute traces of poop out of the anal canal. It’s not
necessary, but if it makes you feel better, go for it. And some people find enemas
exciting in their own right.

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 There are several options for giving yourself a little spring cleaning down there.
The simple and cute little bulb syringe is probably the easiest and least invasive type
of enema. It consists of a turkey-baster like bulb syringe. You can buy one at most
drugstores and well-stocked sex toy stores. Or check online. Suck warm water up into
the bulb and squirt it up your well-lubed ass while sitting on the toilet. Release the
water and repeat the process a few times until you feel sufficiently clean.
Give yourself a little time to recover before you have sex. There may be a bit of
water still inside you and you’ll want to allow enough time for it to be reabsorbed.
Also, your ass has a protective mucosal lining, and an enema washes it away. You’ll
want to give your body time to rebuild this protective barrier.
Another type of enema is the enema bag or hot water bottle enema, also available
at drugstores. This one is trickier. It consists of an enema bag that you hang over the
shower rod. The enema bag is attached to a long tube with a nozzle on the end. Fill
the bag with warm water and hang it. Find a comfortable position. The classic
position involves lying on your left side with your right leg bent toward your chest.
Kneeling in the tub with your ass in the air is also good. Insert the lubed up tip into
your butthole and release the clamp on the tubing. You will feel yourself gradually
filling with water. Once you feel full, remove the tube and release the water into the
toilet. Repeat this process until the water runs clear.
A third type of enema —the shower nozzle attachment enema— is more involved
than the other two and really most practical for people want to have enemas on a
regular basis. You can buy the shower head attachment through many popular sex-
shops. It’s made of stainless steel and consists of a nozzle attached to a long flexible
tube. The process is the same as with an enema bag, insert the lubed-up nozzle and let
the water flow until you feel full, then release it into the toilet. Just be very careful
about the water temperature and pressure. For more information on enemas, check
out Tristan Taormino’s excellent book The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.
Never use store-bought enemas unless you dump the solution they contain and
refill them with plain warm water. Store bought enemas have nasty chemicals in them
that are not at all good for you. They will irritate the lining of your ass and taste
terrible on your partner’s tongue. The whole point of giving your ass a little spritz is
to make it a nicer place to lick. So stay away from nasty-tasting chemicals.
So now you’ve washed and rinsed, and your ass is clean enough to eat salad off
of. Great! Get ready to have your mind blown.
«There’s something about having my mouth on my wife’s butthole that’s extremely
exciting. My favorite part is her reactions. I get so hot when she clutches the sheets
and tries to squirm away from me». —Mike

Positions for rimming

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 Most of the positions we discussed in chapter 6 can easily be adapted to ass
licking. Doggie style is particularly good and allows your partner a fabulous view of
your anus and pussy simultaneously.
If you’re a furry sort and not interested in shaving, then doggie style allows your
partner to spread your butt cheeks apart and have more access to your cute little
starfish with less hair to impede the path. Also: Try bending her over something like a
couch or chair and kneeling behind her.
On your stomach with pillows under your hips is good too. Handcuffing her
hands behind her back will keep her from squirming away. We will cover restraints
thoroughly in the next chapter. I just thought I’d throw it out there to get your
imagination going.
The lickee on her back with legs in the air is also great. Just push her cheeks apart
and lick away. She can lie on her side with one knee pulled up to her chest and you
can come at her from the side.
Experiment with different positions! Don’t be shy.

How to eat ass

Oh, honey, you’re about to encounter a smooth, slippery, quivering little opening
to heaven. Her reactions are going to drive your actions, so pay close attention. When
I’m approaching a woman’s asshole, the first thing I’m thinking about, before any
tongue to skin contact is made, is how much pleasure I’m going to give her. I know
I’m about to drive her crazy, and I know she’s probably nervous and anxious waiting
for the first little warm lick. I like to stretch it out and make it last. Toying with her
anxiousness is good. You’re in control, work it.
Now we know that the little lady in front of you has just had a nice hot shower or
bath, and she’s all squeaky clean for your licking pleasure. So there’s no reason to
worry about encountering feces. Let’s assume any ambivalence you might feel about
licking ass has been dealt with.
Tip: When using a barrier, always put some lube on the underside, so the lickee
enjoys a «wet tongue» sensation.
Most people’s ambivalence about licking butt has to do with fear of encountering
germs and nastiness. Just to put your mind at ease, let me assure you that your tongue
can’t really reach very far into her ass. Maybe an inch or so, tops. And for you to
encounter shit, you’d have to be able to reach much, much farther up. The anal canal
is merely a way station. If she’s freshly bathed, your chances of encountering
anything nasty are pretty slim.
Don’t go right for the bullseye. Nibble her butt cheeks, spank her a little. Kiss and
lick the backs of her thighs and tease the crack of her ass with your lips and tongue.
Slowly and deliberately spread her cheeks and put a few warm little kisses against her

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pucker. Tease the entire furrow of her ass with your tongue, lightly running it up and
down.
Then, gently tickle her anus with your tongue, licking around and up and down.
Gauge what she likes by her reaction. If she’s moaning and groaning and leaning into
it, you’re doing great.

Rimming techniques to try at home

Lick her from top to bottom, like an ice cream cone

Pucker up, buttercup, and place a bunch of puckery, fluttery little kisses
against her butthole
Flick your tongue quickly back and forth across her pucker
Rim around and around in circles
Give her an up and down, side-to-side combo move
Press the flat of your tongue firmly against her hole
Lick her firmly, lightly penetrating
Fuck her with your tongue
Dart your tongue lightly in and out of her hole

Good rimming manners

To prevent the spread of bacteria, once you’ve licked her ass stay away from her
pussy. If you want to go back to licking her coochie, get up and use mouthwash. Her
pussy is delicate and easily prone to infection, and bacteria from her ass can cause a
whole slew of problems.
Also, rimming should always be a pre-penetration activity. Don’t eat her ass after
you’ve fucked her. A vigorous fucking can drag bacteria to the outside of even the
most carefully washed butthole.
Rimming is not considered a high risk activity for the spread of HIV. However,
that’s not to say it come without risks of any kind. Unprotected rimming carries the
same risks as unprotected cunnilingus, with the added nastiness of the possibility of
transmitting hepatitis A. So rim safely. Dental dams, saran-wrap, cut-open condoms,
and latex gloves all make great safer-sex barriers.

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 Eight

Safer Sex Tips

When it comes to transmitting STDs, cunnilingus is less risky than unprotected

anal or vaginal intercourse (with shared toys or with a penis or fingers). But that’s not
to say that oral sex carries no risks. And the whole myth that sisters of the Sapphic
persuasion can’t get STDs from each other is completely untrue. Especially if she’s
menstruating. The risk of transmitting any and all STDs increases.
Your vagina is a warm moist environment, a nearly perfect place for bacteria to
grow. Guess what? So is your throat. And any infection she can get in her vagina, you
can get orally. So keep that in mind when you’re dining at every Y in town. Oral sex
is a great thing. But it’s sex and it carries risks.
We all say we’re using dams and gloves every time. But are we really doing it?
Every time? People slip up. So know the risks, and approach every new coochie as
educated and prepared as you can be. Knowledge is power, and being powerful is hot.
Those of us who happen to be dykes, may not have always been dykes. Anyway,
STDs don’t discriminate by sexual preference. If you’re sexually active, no matter
what that means to you, you’re probably at risk for contracting an STD of some kind.
Studies have shown that cheating partners often don’t use protection because they
aren’t used to it, or they aren’t prepared.

Dams are fun

Many people think using barriers for oral sex will ruin the mood. They just
assume that licking a piece of latex will suck and either find themselves opting out
altogether on oral sex, or taking risks they shouldn’t take. Well, dams don’t suck.
They can even be kind of fun. Dental dams were, of course, designed for use by
dentists. And true dental dams aren’t all that appealing. They are kind of thick and
rubbery, too small to cover much area, and don’t transmit that much sensation.
However, some smart sex toy makers came up with dental dams designed
especially for sex. I highly recommend the Glyde Dams. They are sheer 10” by 16”
sheets of ultra thin latex. They even come in lots of fun flavors. It’s a good idea to put
a dollop of lube on the pussy side of the dam to give her and extra bit of slippery
sensation. Also, you may want to mark the side you are licking with a pen. This helps
prevent mix-ups should things get messy.
Another trick is to use plastic wrap as a barrier. It’s cheap! Hell, it’s probably
already in your kitchen drawer. It’s far thinner than latex, and it’s transparent so you

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wont lose any of the wonderful visual stimulation you get from gazing at her hard
clit. You can pull off as much as you need, and cover her entire crotch —allowing
you to lick her ass to pussy and back again with no fear of transmitting bacteria.
Using a barrier can make rimming more appealing. If you’re worried about
cooties or shy about smell and taste, cover her up in saran wrap and lick her worry-
free.
Barriers make pussy-licking safe even when she’s on her period. Making the
mutual decision to stay healthy can help you feel connected to your partner. So rather
than look at safe sex as an intimacy blocker, think of it as a responsible way to bond
with someone. Be vulnerable, embrace the feelings of awkwardness that safer-sex can
trigger. She’ll most likely find your realness to be a turn-on.

Holding a dam in place

The trickiest thing about dental dams is holding the little buggers in place while
your hands are busy elsewhere. One tried and true trick for crafty babes is to turn a
garter belt into a dam holder. Hook each corner of the dam to a garter. Make sure to
shorten the garters so that the dam fits snugly against your mouth. Also, specially-
made dental dam holders are available from sex toy retailers.

What are STIs?

By definition, an STI is an infection that’s primarily spread by sexual contact:
oral, anal, or vaginal, either by skin-to-skin contact or by exchanging bodily fluids
such as blood, vaginal fluids, or semen. If you’re going down on a woman, then
you’re exchanging bodily fluids —her pussy juice and your spit and everything that
lives in them.

HPV
HPV, the human papilloma virus, may be the most common STD. It’s practically
epidemic on college campuses. And a whopping seventy percent of the adult
population is infected.
HPV can be passed from woman to woman by skin or mucous membrane contact
—the pussy and mouth are both mucous membranes. You can touch your pussy, give
your fingers to your girlfriend to suck, and potentially transfer the virus to her. HPV
can cause genital warts and cervical neoplasia (pre-cancerous or cancerous cells).
If you don’t know your partner’s entire sexual history, I’d recommend you protect
yourself. The tricky thing about this little bugger is that it is nearly impossible to
track. Most people carrying this virus show no symptoms. People can carry it around
and pass it on and never even know they have it.

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 There is no treatment for HPV, but if warts develop they can be burned off with
liquid nitrogen. Having your bare ass in the air as the doctor touches your sensitive
bits with liquid nitrogen does not sound fun. This is why we use dental dams.
HPV can be passed by fingers, so if you like a little penetration with your oral
loving, use gloves. Some experts think that it can be passed by inserting toys, so to be
safe use a condom and clean all of your toys with antibacterial soap. All women need
regular pap smears and check-ups, in part because pap smears can detect HPV and
cervical irregularities. Frequent pap smears are particularly important if you’re
sleeping with a woman who is infected with HPV.

Bacterial Vaginosis
Bacterial vaginosis (BV) is one of the most commonly transmitted STIs among
lesbians. It is a bacterial infection of the vagina spread through sexual contact. Or
your partner can give it to you by say, rimming you and then licking your pussy. Or
by sneaking a finger into your ass while she’s going down on you, and then forgetting
which finger it was and sticking it in your vagina. You can also get it by wiping
improperly, douching and using harsh soap which leave you vulnerable to infection.
The thing about BV is that you may not know you have it, but you will probably
know something is wrong. Your smell and taste will be different. In fact, they will
probably be foul. If your normally lovely vagina smells off, chances are very high
that an infection is present. A round of antibiotics usually clears it up.

Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphillis

Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Syphillis are bacterial infections and can be treated
with antibiotics. All three can be passed by oral, anal, or vaginal sex. If she has an
infection and you have a sore in your mouth, you can catch it. Sharing a dildo or sex
toy —a good reason to use condoms on your toys— can also pass bacterial
infections. Untreated chlamydia can cause long-term problems, including pelvic
inflammation, swollen or scarred fallopian tubes, and chronic pain. Gonorrhea can
cause many problems including sterilty, and Syphillis can cause death.

Hepatitis
Hepatitis means «inflammation of the liver». There are many different strains of
viral hepatitis. The most common are hepatitis A, B and C. Hep A and B are not
usually chronic, but Hep C becomes chronic in about 85 percent of those who are
infected. Hep A is transmitted via fecal matter to the mouth, so ass licking is
especially hazardous. More flexible, Hep B lives in all body fluids, including semen,

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blood, saliva, and vaginal fluids. It can be transmitted by any sexual contact. Hep C,
is transmitted only by blood to blood contact, i.e.: sharing needles.
Hep A and B usually cause recognizable symptoms (such as jaundice), but Hep C
can remain asymptomatic for years. People can live with it for decades and suddenly
find out that they have cirrhosis or fibrosis (scarring of the liver).

Herpes
Herpes sucks. It has no cure and it’s really contagious. You can spread it easily
with mouth to box contact. In fact, you can spread it with finger to box contact, or
finger to ass contact, or finger to mouth to box contact. You get the picture. A herpes
breakout can range from a whole group of really painful sores to just one teeny little
sore that you can’t even really see. The virus is only contagious during the shedding
cycle, but this include the period right before the sores breakout, so it’s difficult to be
completely sure.

HIV
HIV is most commonly spread during sexual contact. The virus is found in
semen, blood, vaginal secretions, and breast milk. It can also be spread through
blood-to-blood contact —such as sharing needles or blood transfusions involving
unscreened blood. You can not contract HIV through casual contact such as kissing,
sharing towels, or toilet seats.
High-risk behaviors that can result in HIV transmission are sharing needles,
engaging in unprotected anal, vaginal or oral sex with a person who is HIV infected.
The virus also can be transmitted from an HIV-infected mother to her child through
pregnancy, birth or breastfeeding.
It is not unusual for HIV-infected persons to experience symptoms years after the
initial infection; some may be symptom free for over 10 years. The only way to know
if you’ve contracted HIV is to get tested. People who engage in high-risk behaviors,
such as intravenous drug use or having unprotected sex with multiple partners, should
be tested regularly.

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 Nine

Ouch! That feels good!

Playing with sensation and power dynamics doesn’t require that you go out and
spend a lot of money on leather outfits. And you don’t have to attend any
Renaissance Faires or join clubs. It doesn’t make you freaky (Well, ok, it does. But in
a good way). And it doesn’t mean you are into pain or suffering from childhood
trauma.
Things like bondage, domination, and submission bring a charged sense of sexual
power to your bed that can be pretty exciting. And barking a few orders at your
sweetheart (Don’t you dare move until I say!) is a great way to break your out of the
same ’ol, same ’ol rut.
Pussy licking lends itself well to power games. You can «force» someone to go
down on you. You can hold him down and fuck his face with your clit. You can pull
her labia apart and expose her cunt before licking her, to make her feel vulnerable.
You can tie your girl spread-eagled to the bed and lick her until she screams for you
to stop. Or, my personal favorite, you can handcuff her and make her beg for it.
You may have experimented with domination and roleplay already. For example
holding your partner down during sex, or telling them not to move while you go
down on them are great ways to incorporate a little power into your sex play. If you’d
like to take that thrill a little further, talk about it with your partner. Come up with a
plan before you head off to Home Depot for dungeon supplies.
Tip: Pick up some rope and eyebolts at the hardware store. Screw the eyebolts
into the head and foot of your wooden futon frame —then tie your sweetie’s hands
and feet with soft nylon rope and secure the rope to the eyebolts. Voila! Instant
bondage bed!

Unsure whether you’d rather be on top or bottom? Try my handy dandy top
quiz:

1. Handing out birthday spankings turns me on:

a. true
b. false

2. I like to call the shots in bed:

a. true
b. false

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 3. I enjoy it when my lover says please:
a. true
b. false

4. Turning my lover on excites me:

a. true
b. false

5. I want to be obeyed:
a. true
b. false

If you answered «true» to three or more questions, chances are good you’ll enjoy
being on top!

And now for the bottom quiz!

1. I enjoy being told what to do:

a. true
b. false

2. Being forced to perform sexually is exciting

a. true
b. false

3. I fantasize about being tied up

a. true
b. false

4. I look forward to my birthday spanking

a. true
b. false

5. Pain during sex is arousing

a. true
b. false

Did you answer «true» to three or more questions? Well, you probably want to be
on the bottom you little slut, you!

Talk it out

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 It’s a good idea to talk to your partner about your desire to dominate before you
break out with the «Suck my clit NOW you groveling little worm!» Also, once
you’ve discussed the idea, and you know which one of you wants to be boss, and
which one wants to be the secretary, you should stick with the same role for the entire
evenings activities. Switching midway is sure to cause hurt feelings, not to mention
confusion.

Things you can do to your bottom

Blindfold her: Being blindfolded makes a bottom feel deliciously vulnerable.
Order her around: Tell her what to do, and how to do it. Practice saying «Lick me,
NOW» until it rolls off your tongue gracefully.
Put something in his mouth: Underwear makes a nice gag.
Demand that she lies perfectly still while you tease her pussy with your tongue.
Order him to stick out his tongue. Then grind your pussy against his face.
Force her to watch you masturbate.
Lick her puss, but deny her orgasm until she pleads for it!
Tie her up with soft nylon rope.

Things you can do to please your top:

Worship her pussy with your tongue —keep your hands behind your back for
extra— excitement.
Lick her boots.
Call her «ma’am» or «sir».
Display yourself in a lewd manner for her pleasure.
Masturbate for her (only if she says you can!)
Ask permission before coming.
Beg for release.
Promise her extravagant sexual favors.
Bathe her.

Communicate
The big thing that two people need when they want to get freaky is
communication. You need to know what she wants. Does she want to be held down?
She needs to know what you want. Do you want her to call you Officer? Figure it out.
You don’t have to hold a relationship conference or write each other letters, but
something as simple as sitting down in a McDonalds and saying «You know honey, I
really love it when you push my face into the pillow,» will get the party started.

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 If you want to try a little dominant/submissive roleplay action with your partner
during sex, you’ll first need to figure out which one of you wants which role. The top
has all the power. The bottom gives up all the power. And you don’t have to play the
same role every time. Switching from one time to the next keeps things interesting.
Try it.

Bondage Safety
Restraints should always be loose enough to slip a finger between the bottom’s
limb and the restraint. Use simple square knots that are easy to untie. Fancy knots and
suspension bondage is only for serious BDSM players who know exactly what they
are doing. Tops should check in with bottoms often to see how they are doing.
Under no circumstances should you ever attach rope to anyone’s neck. Don’t tie
anything tightly over any major arteries, i.e.: pulse points like wrists, ankles, elbows,
knees, armpits.

Pain and pleasure

Yummy vanilla sex feels great, but sometimes we want our fun to hurt a little. It
doesn’t have to be terribly painful. The sharp tug of hair getting pulled, or the smack
of a hand on a bare ass can be enough to send us flying. Pain feels especially exciting
on aroused genitals. And in fact, once all our sex chemicals are flowing around pain
can become as stimulating to our vaginas as pleasure.
Clamps, slapping, and biting can all add a new dimension to pussy licking. Find
out if the woman you are going down on enjoys playing with pain before you try any
of these tricks. And as always, communicate!

Cool her down

Not ready for pain of any kind but interested in adding a different sensation to
your box licking? Try popping a couple of sugar-free mints into your mouth. The
cool, icy sensation adds a neat little thrill. Menthol cough drops work well for this
trick, but sugarless mints of any kind will do —the stronger the better. Suck on them
a bit to get them going, then pop ’em between your cheek and gum while you lick
her. The icy sensation in your mouth will quickly transfer to her clit. Blow on her
tender bits for added sensation. This feels especially exciting on the butt hole.

Pinchy things
Mean little clamps can be bought at any good sex shop. Test them first on your
finger or the back of your hand to avoid overly painful surprises. Clamps can be

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applied to her outer labia. You can put on one or two or try making neat rows up and
down. They can also be applied to her inner labia, or even to her clitoral hood. If
she’s sufficiently aroused and you’ve done a good job of getting her juices flowing
then a little pinching is going to feel very exciting. Clamps work by restricting blood
flow to the tissue. They hurt when you first put them on, but they hurt a whole lot
more when you take them of and blood flows back into the area. You can create
interesting sensations by tapping on the clamps or tugging on them with your teeth
while they are in place. Try and time the clamp removal with her orgasm, it will add
extra intensity.

Smack her
Little smacks delivered to her vulva between tongue strokes can also feel very
nice. Some women can orgasm from a good rhythmic slapping of their vulvas. Try
licking her for some time and then alternating licks and slaps to her clit. You can
spank her entire vulva with the flat of your hand, or just spank her mons with the tips
of your fingers. Another trick to try is pulling her mons upward to expose her clitoral
hood with one had, and using the other hand to place delicate slaps on her clitoral
shaft.
Mini rubber or latex floggers are available at most good sex toy shops. These
provide a stingy, tingling sensation. Lick her until she’s very aroused and then try
smacking her in different places on her vulva and see which spot elicits the best
response.

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Erotic Spanking
Spanking is a great precursor to oral sex. Actually, I think spanking is a great
precursor to everything! Spanking is one of my favorite foreplay activities, it’s
exciting, a little kinky, and very, very erotic when done well. Think of a good
spanking as a way to warm up her tush before you cool it off with your tongue.
Talk about it first. Find out if she’s interested in being spanked. This is not an
activity to force on someone. Also, the goal here is not to hurt your partner, but to
make her feel good. So use a light touch. Bend her over something, the couch, a
chair, your lap. Find a position that feels exciting to both of you.
Enjoy the intimacy this activity offers both of you. She’s bent over and feeling
very vulnerable. You are behind her with a very nice view of her cunt and ass. Grab
her hips and pull her close to you. Make her feel sexy and desirable. If she’s not used
to being in such a submissive position, talk her through it. Tell her how how she is.
Run your hands up and down her back and ass and enjoy the feel of her skin and
shape of her body.

Warm her up
Start out slowly by rubbing her buttcheeks for a while before you start smacking.
Rub across her ass and graze your fingers against her exposed vulva for extra little
chills and thrills. Begin by lightly tapping and patting her, letting your strikes slowly
build in intensity. Let her become accustomed to the feel of your hand smacking her
ass. Let some of your light smacks fall across her exposed vulva. The more turned on
she is the more your smacks will feel good. So give her a long erotic warm-up.

Find her special spot

Find the spot on her ass that stimulates her entire genital region. My ex lover had
a way of smacking the underside of my ass cheeks and barely grazing my vulva. It
sent vibrations across my cunt that made me go crazy with pleasure. She’d tap, tap,
tap on my ass till I was all worked up and then zero in on that special spot until I
begged her to lick my pussy and make me come.
Once you’ve figured out where she likes your hand best, spank around that spot
and tease her. Don’t remain focused on it or she’ll grow used to the sensation and it
will lose its zeal.
Your hand can create many different sensations. Try cupping it, or hitting her with
the flat of your palm. Smacks with your hand relaxed and fingers spread will sting

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more than a tight flat palm-only smack. Use just the tips of your fingers to smack her
cunt.

The sound of one hand clapping

Sound is an important part of the turn-on factor in spanking. The noise of a sharp
«thwack» will send tingles down her spine, and yours too. Aim for the fleshier parts
of her butt to get a good reverb going. Backs of thighs make a good sound too. If you
prefer the sound to the sensation, try the «spanky» available at most good sex toy
retailers. It has an attached leather flap that smacks against the paddle part when you
use it. The paddle doesn’t sting, but the leather flap provides a good sharp «crack».

Vary the sensation

Pause occasionally while spanking her to deliver different sensations to her
sensitive butt. Try lightly scratching her bright red cheeks, or rubbing her with your
palm. You can also blow on her, rub her with ice, or rub something soft and furry
across her cheeks.

Use props
Paddles are great. There are all sorts of sexy paddles out there with which you can
accessorize your spanking sessions. Other options for fun spanking include: wooden
spoons, spatulas, hair brushes, or a slipper. You may want to use a tool to prevent
your hand from getting sore. Depending on how spank-loving your partner is, your
hand may wear out before she does.

Stay connected
Check in with your partner to make sure she’s enjoying all the sensation. Pay
attention to the noises she’s making. She may moan, gasp, or even cry. If you aren’t
sure what her reactions mean, ask her. Don’t let her zone out. Talk to her and keep her
connected to the action.

Keep the beat

Once you’ve gotten her warmed up, find a beat and stick to it. She’s getting off on
the rhythmic sensation and you don’t want to ruin the groove she’s in. If you’re
smacking he in a way that involves her clit, she may be able to orgasm from this.
Many women can come from being spanked, so treat this sexual activity like you’d
treat any other: warm her up and then keep it going at a good speed until she’s done.

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Come down
When you’ve reached a stopping point, ask her what she’d like next. You are
probably both pretty turned on by now. She may want you to turn her over and eat her
out, or maybe she’s ready for a good hard fucking, or maybe just some cuddling and
rest. Whatever it is, keep the intimate connection going by staying physically in
touch. And communicate with her about her desires.

Pump your clit

Clit pumping is a neat trick for temporarily increasing the size of the clitoris.
Transmen have been doing it forever. While this little trick lends itself well to gender-
bending, you don’t have to be male-gendered to want a larger, swollen, more
sensitive clit. Those who get into it find the visual thrill as well as the added
sensitivity to be pretty damn exciting.
You’ve probably seen penis pumps. Big glass or acrylic cylinders with pumps
attached that are designed to temporarily increase the size of a man’s erection. Well,
clit pumps are the same principle, just smaller. Some manufacturers make pumps
designed specifically for clits, or you can use a cylinder designed for nipple pumping,
they are pretty much the same thing.
Pumps are available at most sex toy stores and some pumps designed specifically
for clits have vibrators attached, and other fun sex-gadget modifications.
Pumping works better if the pumpee is shaved. It’s important to be able to create
an airtight seal between the cylinder and her skin. And hair can get under the cylinder
and break the seal. Lube her up well with something thick and tasteless. Then place
the pump on her clit in such a way that a seal is made at the base of her bud. Close
the valve and squeeze the bulb, pumping some of the air out of the chamber. Check in
with her and see how she likes it. If it feels good, give the bulb another squeeze.
She’s probably feeling an intense suction on her clit. And the clit has most likely
grown in size.
Give the bulb a few more squeezes watching closely and paying attention to her
reactions. The throbby, pulling feeling should be pleasurable. If it isn’t, stop
immediately and release the valve.
You can leave the pump on for a few minutes if you want to. But if this is a new
activity for you, no more than ten minutes is a good rule. As soon as you release the
pressure her clit will return to near normal size. But it will stay somewhat swollen
and extra sensitive for up to an hour afterwards. Enjoy the heightened sensation she
feeling and the extra large clit that pumping has produced by give her a soft, sensuous
tongue bathing.

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 Acknowledgements

Thanks to all the people that put up with me while I was writing this book. A special
thanks goes to Ian Hendrie who spent hours listening to me go on and on about oral
sex and who gave me tips and tricks I could share with everyone. Thanks to Terri and
Angela for coming up with the idea and overlooking deadlines. Thank you to Colleen
Coover for the most amazing illustrations I’ve ever seen. Thanks to Bridgett Xiu for
compiling the resources. Thank you to Adam and Tanya for giving me a place to live
while I did research. Thanks to Bob Gluck for school help-without all the directed
writings I would never have finished my M.F.A. Thanks to Tristan Taormino for
teaching me so much at On Our Backs. Thanks to On Our Backs readers for keeping
me challenged. Thanks to Grace Moon for being my media girlfriend, for all the long
talks about sex, and for being just as obsessed with it as me. Thanks to Barbara
Carrellas and Kate Bornstein for their amazing, inspiring work. Thanks to Helen
Boyd for helping me understand gender just a little deeper. Thanks to Midori for
making the world of kink so delightful and pretty. Thanks to the many other writers
who have taught me about gender, inspired me to love freely and to be at home in my
body. Thanks to Emma for being the perfect, loving, supportive
partner/wife/husband/lover. Thanks for being down for all the practice sessions a
femme can demand. And thank you for never letting me get discouraged. I love you.

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 Resources

Videos
The Amazing G-Spot and Female Ejaculation (Access International, 1999)
Bend over Boyfriend (Fatale, 1998)
Carol Queen’s Great Vibrations: An Explicit Consumer Guide to Vibrations
(Blank Tapes Productions, 1995)
Faces of Ecstasy (Blank Tapes Productions, 1995)
Fire in the Valley: An Intimate Guide to Female Genital Massage (Annie
Sprinkle/Joseph Kramer, 1999)
How to Female Ejaculate (Fatale Video, 1992)
How to Female Ejaculate; Find your G-spot with Deborah Sundahl (Isis Media,
2002)
The Magic of Female Ejaculation (House O’Chicks, 1992)
Linda/Les and Annie: The First Female to Male Transsexual Love Story (Annie
Sprinkle, 1990)
Nice Girls… Films by and about Women (#11 Nice Girls do it Nice) (Picture
Start, Inc., 1989)
Nina Hartley’s Guides… (Adam and Eve productions, 1994, ’96, 2000) to Anal
Sex, Cunnilingus, Making Love to a Woman
Private Pleasure and Shadows (Fatale Video, 1995)
Selfloving (Betty Dodson, 1991)
Sluts and Goddesses (Beatty/Sprinkle, 1992)
Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (Tristan Taormino, 1999)
Viva la Vulva: Women’s Sex Organs Revealed (Betty Dodson, 1998)
Whipsmart (Good Vibrations’ Sex Positive Productions, 2002)
Erotica
The Black Glove (Bleu Visions, 1996)
Burlezk Live (Fatale Videos)
Dress up for Daddy (Fatale Videos)
Hard Love (SIR Productions)
How to Fuck in High Heels (SIR Productions)
Hungry Hearts (Fatale Videos)
Leda and the Swan Nailed (Bleu Visions, 1999)
Please Don’t Stop (Good Vibrations’ Sex Positive Productions, 2001)
Slide Bi Me (Good Vibrations’ Sex Positive Productions, 2001)
Voluptuous Vixens (Good Vibrations’ Sex Positive Productions, 2002)

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Books
Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men and Women Jack Morin (Down
There Press, 1998)
Big, Big Love Hanne Blank (Greenery Press, 1999)
Body Alchemy: Transsexual Portraits Loren Cameron (Cleis Press, 1996)
The Clitoral Truth Rebecca Chalker (Seven Stories Press, 2000)
Cunt: A Declaration of Independenec Inga Muscio (Seal Press, 1998)
Cunt Coloring Book Tee Corinne (Naiad Press, 1989)
Drag King Book: A First Look Del LaGrace Volcano and Judith «Jack»
Halberstam (Serpents Tail, 1999)
Enabling Romance: A Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships for the Disabled Ken
Kroll and Erica Levy Klein (No Limits Communications, 2001)
The Ethical Slut Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt (Greenery Press, 1997)
Female Masculinity Judith Halberstam (Duke University Press, 1998)
Femme: Feminists, Lesbians and Bad Girls ed. Laura Harris and Elizabeth
Crocker (Routledge, 1997)
The Femme’s Guide to the Universe Shar Rednour (Alyson Publications, 2000)
FTM: Female-to-Male Transsexuals in Society Holly Devor (Indiana University
Press, 1997)
Gender Outlaw Kate Bornstein (Vintage Books, 1994)
The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-Spot Cathy Winks (Down There Press,
1998)
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, Third Edition Cathy Winks and Anne Semans
(Cleis Press, 2002)
A Hand in the Bush: The Art of Vaginal Fisting Deborah Addington (Greenery
Press, 1998)
Health Care Without Shame Charles Moser Ph.D., M.D. (Greenery Press, 1999)
Leatherfolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics and Practice ed. Mark Thompson
(Alyson Publications, 2001)
New View of a Woman’s Body Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers
(Feminist Health Press, 1991)
Our Bodies, Ourselves for the New Century Bostom Women’s Health Collective
(Simon & Schuster, 1998)
PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions about Gender and Identity ed. Carol
Queen and Lawrence Schimel (Cleis Press, 1997)
Annie Sprinkle’s Post Porn Modernist Annie Sprinkle (Cleis Press, 1998)
Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex Pat Califia (Cleis Press, 1994)
Real Live Nude Girl Carol Queen (Cleis Press, 2002)
Sensuous Magic: A guide for Adventurous Couples Patrick Califia (Cleis Press,
2001)
Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism Patrick Califia (Cleis Press, 2002)

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 Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving Betty Dodson (Crown Publishers/Harmony
Press, 1987)
The Strap-on Book A.H. Dion (Greenery Press, 1999)
The Survivor’s Guide to Sex: How to have an Empowered Sex Life After Child
Sexual Abuse Stacie Haines (Cleis Press, 1999)
Susie Bright’s Sexwise Susie Bright (Cleis Press, 1995)
Susie Sexpert’s Lesbian Sex World Susie Bright (Cleis Press, 1990, 1998)
Transgender Warrior: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman Leslie
Feinberg (Beacon, 1997)
Trans Liberation Leslie Feinberg (Beacon, 1998)
Transmen and FTMs: Identities, Bodies, Genders and Sexualities Jason Cromwell
(University of Illinois Press, 1999)
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 1997)
The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus Violet Blue (Cleis Press, 2002)
The Ultimate Guide to Strap On Sex Karlyn Lotney (Cleis Press, 2000)
The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us Felice Newman
(Cleis Press, 1999)
Best American Erotica Series ed. Susie Bright (Simon and Schuster)
Best Lesbian Erotica series ed. Joan Nestle (Cleis Press, 2000)
Best Transgender Erotica ed. Hanne Blank and Raven Kaldera (Circlet Press,
2002)
Doing it for Daddy: Short Sexy Fiction About a Very Forbidden Fantasy ed. Pat
Califia (Alyson Publications, 1994)
Herotica Series, Vol. 1-7 various editors (Penguin/Plume)
The Leather Daddy and the Femme: An Erotic Novel Carol Queen (Cleis Press,
1998)
Leatherwomen III: The Clash of the Cultures ed. Laura Antoniou (Masquerade
Books, 1998)
Macho Sluts Pat Califia (Alyson Publications, 1989)
Melting Point Pat Califia (Alyson Publications, 1996)
On Our Backs: The Best Erotic Fiction (Alyson Publications, 2001)
The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader ed. Joan Nestle (Alyson
Publications, 1992)
Speaking in Whispers: Lesbian African-American Erotica ed. Kathleen E. Morris
(Third Side Press, 1996)
Virgin Territory and Virgin Territory 2 ed. Shar Rednour (Masquerade Books,
1996, 1997)

Sexuality Resource Hotlines

American Social Health Association (800) 971-8500

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 Centers for Disease Control National AIDS Hotline (800) 342-AIDS. Spanish
(800) 344-7432
Hearing impaired (800) 243-7889
www.cdcnac.com
Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-SAFE
HIV/AIDS Teen hotline (800) 440-TEEN
Los Angeles Sex Education Resources (213) 486-4421
National Herpes hotline (919) 361-8488
National STD Hotline (800) 227-8922
Planned Parenthood (800) 230-PLAN www.ppfa.org
RAINN (Rape Abuse and Incest National Network) (800) 656-HOPE
Safer Sex Page www.safersex.org
San Francisco Sex Information (877) 472-7374 toll-free, (415) 989-7374
www.sfsi.org
Seattle Sex Information (206) 328-7711

Informational Websites
Alternate Sources www.alternate.com
Andrea Nemerson’s site for human sexuality www.sfbg.com/asc
Annie Sprinkles’ website www.gatesofheck.com
Body Electric School www.bodyelectric.org
Charles Haynes’ Radical Sex www.fifth-mountain.com/radical_sex
Coalition for Positive Sexuality (CPS) www.positive.org
Columbia University information site www.goaskalice.columbia.edu
Condomania information site www.comdomania.com
Dr. Ruth www.drruth.com
Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers www.fwhc.org
www.gayhelath.com
Gloria G. Brame’s S/M site http://gloria-brame.com
Human Awareness Institute www.hai.org
IASHS Sexology NetLine www.netaccess.on.ca/~sexorg/index.org
InstaTek Human Sexuality Site www.instatek.com/sex/start.html
Masturbation site www.jackinworld.com
Dr. Patti Briton www.yoursexcoach.com
Queer Resources Directory www.qrd.org
Safer Sex Resource www.safersex.org
Sexual Health InfoCenter www.sexhealth.org/infocenter/infomain.html
Sexual Health Network www.sexualhealth.com
The Sex Institute www.sexquest.com
Society for Human Sexuality http://weber.u.washington.edu/~sfpse

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DIANA CAGE (United State), is the author of several other best selling, hilarious and
informative books on sex and relationships, including Girl Meets Girl: A Dating
Survival Guide and Threeways: Fulfill Your Ultimate Fantasy. She’s been called
everything from an «unapologetic pioneer,» to «flirty, raunchy and in your face». Her
obsessions include high heels, fashion week, gin martinis, Luce Irigaray and extreme
lesbian processing. She’ll pretty much talk about sex with anyone who asks. Diana
holds an M.F.A. from San Francisco State University and has spoken about media,
culture, politics, sexuality, and gender at top colleges and universities around the
country. Her current university talks focus on teaching young women writers to use
new media technologies to create visibility and tell their stories.
Learn more about her at www.dianacage.com

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