Tazrian Ahmed

Compare how the poets present their admiration for their parents in ‘Before You Were
Mine’ and ‘Follower’

Within both poems ‘Before You Were Mine’ and ‘Follower,’ Duffy and Heaney respectively
show admiration for their parents. For example, Duffy presents and admires an idealised
view of her mother’s glamourous ‘fairy-tale’ youth whereas Heaney admires his father
expertise on his craft – farming and thus aspires to be his father by following his footsteps.
In ‘Before You Were Mine’ Duffy reminisces about her mother’s fairy-tale youth full of
endless possibilities. For example, in the first stanza of the poem includes the phrase “Your
polka-dot dress blows round your legs.” The adjective “polka-dot” brings attention to the loud
print of her mother’s dress, which highlights the confidence and frivolity included in her
mother’s youth. Duffy directly compares her mother to 1950s-star Marilyn Monroe by using a
one-word sentence: “Marilyn.” and shows that her mother was the Marilyn in her daughter’s
eyes, a woman sought out by many, and who had a glamourous life just like Marilyn, adored
by millions of people all over the world. This is a representation of how much Duffy admires
her mother, expressing to the reader her infinite and unconditional love for her. This is a
representation of how much Duffy admires her mother, expressing to the reader her infinite
and unconditional love for her. Describing her mother as an attractive person, creates a
juxtaposition between the current place she is in, a mother of a child, burdened with
responsibility, and what she was before, a carefree, idyllic young woman in her youthful
days. However, young Heaney admires his father’s effortless talent and dedication to
managing his team of horses. This is shown in the quote "His shoulders globed like a full sail
strung.” The metaphor “globed” may reflect that his father is so strong that he has the power
to even hold the world on his shoulders. Furthermore, in the simile “like a full sail strung,”
Heaney describes his father as someone who is omnipotent. The word "sail" harnessing the
wind could be a metaphor for his father harnessing the horse he uses to plough with. This
could imply that the poet is complementing his father's qualities and expressing his
appreciation for his physical attributes.
However, as the readers go furthermore into both poems certain ambiguous feelings are
present. For example, in ‘Before You Were Mine,’ the readers can feel Duffy's bitterness at
not knowing her mother in her younger, carefree self. This is transparently shown in the title
of the poem ‘Before You Were Mine.’ The poet uses possessive pronouns such as “you” and
“mine” which shows her idealised fixation of her mother. Thus, Duffy feels excluded from the
life her mother had before she had Duffy. Another example of this is also shown in the lines:
“I’m not here yet. The thought of me doesn’t occur” Here the reader can feel Duffy’s
loneliness, though her use of caesura, which also gives us an idea how distant her
relationship is with her mother, in the form of not knowing her mother before she lost her
youth. Alternatively, Heaney compares his father’s effortless excellency against his amateur
skills with farming. For example, His feelings of inadequacy are poured out in the title itself-
‘Follower’. This carries the connotation of someone being physically behind and gives an
idea of someone who is not good enough to walk alone, much like a parent guiding their
child to take their first footsteps. Therefore, it is safe to state that Heaney’s lack of skill on the
farm made him feel like a burden to his father, which is shown through the lines “I was a
nuisance, tripping, falling,”. The poet here uses triplet verbs, which may also suggest that
Heaney is creating a distraction by messing up his father’s arduous work.
Finally, at the end of Duffy’s poem, her admiration for her mother results in feelings of
guilt as now she sees herself as a burden to her mother and feels responsible for her
lost youth. This is shown in the lines “The decade ahead of my loud, possessive yell
was the best one, eh?” Duffy here reflects how motherhood had completely changed
her mother’s life and her coming in this world has caused her mother’s endless
opportunities of a ‘fairy-tale happily ever after’ die. The phrase “loud possessive yell”
may symbolise the end of her mother’s glamourous youth, when children become
the priority during motherhood, thus retreating herself from the fun, bliss, and
glamour. But in contrast, as his father gets older, Heaney’s admiration for him fades
and he regards him now as a burden. He does this by contemplating how old age
has transformed his father into a burden whom he resents rather than someone he
admires. He portrays his feelings within a few lines in the last stanza: “But today, / It
is my father who keeps stumbling / Behind me, and will not go away.” His use of
language is evident in showing the readers the fading of his admiration towards his
father. Young Heaney looked up to his father as a heroic figure in his youth, a man
who would skilfully and efficiently plough the farm but now his father cannot do this
anymore do you do his old weak body which has no energy like before. Heaney now
only sees his father's shortcomings and failures, as now it is not him that is stumbling
and falling down but his father, creating a disturbance in Heaney’s presenting life.
In conclusion, both poems make it clear that as a child is growing, they admire their
parents however it is more uncertain when it comes to being an adult. As Duffy
admired her mother when she was younger but as she grew older, she did not as
much as she blames herself for snatching her mother’s youthful spirit, and Heaney
felt more distant from his father who was once his role model by the end of the
poem.