WRITING A PERSONAL STORY

In this lesson, the process of writing nonfictional stories will be reviewed with particular attention on
aspects specific to writing about oneself. By the end of the lesson, you should be able to complete your own
autobiographical story.

Where to Begin
A witnessed event could incite a nonfictional story. An event personally experienced and
remembered is what powerfully incites an autobiographical story. Viewing oneself in terms of abstractions
and character traits can be a difficult starting point for writing, and so too is thinking about one’s entire life. A
story does not have to narrate a lifetime, nor does it have to prove how we perceive ourselves to be. A
personal story is the generous act of sharing an experience. It proceeds from a specific memory we cannot
or do not want to forget.
Memories move us the way stories do. We return to them because they tell us something about
ourselves. Whether we realize it or not, we understand our lives through storytelling. Without the prism of
causality, life experiences can seem confounding and random. That things happen for a reason provides us
comfort.
Consequently, we recognize ourselves as characters in our own life stories. We each have a
personal history that influences how we act in immediate situations. Our desire to change comes from the
belief that we are consistent, and so we believe that what we want to become is within us. It manifests in
specific moments, and these are what we share in autobiographical writing.

Finding the Story in Memories

As we do in all nonfictional stories, we must find the story in the memories we want to share. We
need to discern what a memory is about, so that we use our writing skills to render it effectively for readers
to appreciate. We must thus be able to identify the complications that we face in our memories.
There may be no treacherous waters to cross or any villains we must save the world from, but our
lives as students typically feature several external sources of complication. It may be other people: a strict
terror teacher whose tests you always fail, a classmate who likes the same boy, the other basketball team
your team needs to defeat. It may be a trial: a marathon, an exam, a commute to school amid citywide
flooding. It may be societal: that you are from a non-Christian family in a Catholic country, that your are
dealing with sexuality issues in a place where this is not easily spoken about, that there is an expectation for
how your life will turn out because of where you are from or who you are related to.
Ultimately, all external complications are connected to internal ones. Our memories are rife with
tests of perseverance, confidence, self-awareness, and humility. Personal stories that are able to illustrate
these
internal struggles are the powerful ones. They speak to the belief that we are common in the most intimate
ways amid apparent differences. This is the appeal of sharing personal stories.
Exercise
 1. Create an initial list of ideas for a personal story. List five significant memories and
articulate the kind of complications they illustrate.
2.
3. Expand your list of ideas. List three people in your life who are sources of complication,
and three social pressures you face. For each person and social pressure, write a specific
memory you have of these complications manifesting.

Difficulties of Writing about Oneself

Autobiographical writing is not easy. It can leave both writer and reader uncomfortable. Writing
about oneself seems like a constant battle between opposing forces. It invites candor at the same time
shuns indiscretion. It can be cathartic to write, but it is inherently narcissistic. You can sound arrogant or too
full of yourself, or to the other extreme, you can sound too apologetic for the person you are.
There is no definitive way to make writing about oneself easier. It is impossible to characterize the
perfect blend of polarities that makes autobiographical writing appropriate. We can only provide ourselves
guidelines to consider when developing our personal stories:
1. Treat your story like you would a fictional story. This does not mean to lie and make things up.
Rather, it is to recall how the elements of fiction work together to make a story, and to treat the true
to-life elements of your story accordingly. Readers cannot verify most of what you have to offer, so
the elements of your story cannot be taken for granted. You have to render the story well and
completely for readers to appreciate it. Using the guidelines for what makes fictional stories work
can help. Alternatively, especially for characters and setting, proceed as a journalist would: seek to
provide all the facts needed for the story to be understood and appreciated.
2. Be mindful of readers. When people sit down to read a story, they come into the experience wanting
to know about the story’s characters. They want to be able to understand. They are looking to
relate. Do not treat your readers like pillows or punching bags. Listening to someone feeling sorry
for oneself or ranting about others is not a pleasurable experience. The goal of your story should
be empathy foremost, not for someone to feel sorry for you.
3. Treat your writing as an opportunity for self-examination. We should be open to the possibility of
learning about ourselves as a result of recreating our own experiences. Self-promotion is not a
good impetus for personal writing, and neither is a stubborn hold onto a perception of oneself.
Writing should be an author’s way of finding out more about oneself. This is where fiction’s rule of
causality helps: it invites us to examine the whys of the things that happen to us, to analyze and
reflect on whether or not we understand what motivates our actions and those of others.
4. Discover and bring out what your story is ultimately about, but do not present yourself as a
universal ambassador. There will come a point in the development of your writing when you sense
more strongly the important themes of your work, what your story has to say about the ideas and
experiences that make up its subject matter. This will help focus the rendering of your story. But do
not present your story as everyone’s story; sure, it may be relatable, but fight the thinking that says
that. You have to tell your story on behalf of persons like you. This will put you in the mindset of that
message and its agenda as opposed to that of a good storyteller. You are foremost sharing an
interesting story of which you are a part. Do not impose yourself and your agenda onto others.
5. Call yourself out during the writing process. Challenge the way you view and subsequently write
about things. Do not be afraid to laugh at yourself when you make what you find to be a ludicrous
 claim. Be distant enough from your own writing to be able to cringe when you feel that you are
being overly indulgent of yourself. Be stern with yourself if you think you are being unfair with your
portrayal of other people and the places where your memories take place. And in the end, revise
accordingly.

Personal Stories as Biased and Unverifiable

Aside from issues of self-representation and its typical difficulties, we must also consider the
accusation that autobiographical writing is problematic because it is biased and unverifiable.

6. Own your subjectivity. There is nothing to gain from apologizing for telling your story. If a fictional
premise can turn into several different short stories just by a change in point of view, logically such
is the case with nonfiction. The cliché is true: there are at least two sides to any story. Be fair to your
readers by first being fair to yourself in terms of your expectations for how others may feel about
your story. In the end, aspire to tell your story as best you can.
7. Do what you can in terms of portraying others in your story as believable characters. Make
major characters round. Provide what you know of their backgrounds. Seek additional information if
you can. Regardless of whether good or bad, make their actions in your writing motivated and
consistent with whom you understand them to be.
8. Strive to tell the truth. Though the use of your imagination is inevitable, try to stick to the verifiable
facts as much as possible. Avoid the intentional addition or omission of key details. 9. Be wary of
memory - the biggest liar, as they say. We cannot recall all the details of our experiences. At the same
time, we should be aware of how we bridge these gaps in memory- whether with likely incidences or
made-up ones altogether. There are ways to help bridge those gaps. For example, you could ask
others involved in the memory. Or you could read related accounts. Regardless, do what you can to
stick to the facts. Another way memory lies is how we choose to omit or add things to make ourselves
feel better about our place in the memory. We need to call ourselves out for this too.
10. Receive feedback while developing your story. You can go as far as to have others who shared
in the experience to read it. However, the feedback of someone unfamiliar with the memory may be
more vital. He or she can read your work and tell you whether or not it renders the story
understandably and compellingly.
Writing Assignment

Write and develop your own autobiographical story. You may use the ideas from the
previous exercise as prompts, or you may pursue a new story altogether.