Or e-Tol(=rlehts GAMSAT Essay ® Writing Guide Expert Tips & Example Essays GRADREADY.COM.AUSECTION 2 Overview Section 2 of the GAMSAT® exam, also known as ‘Written Communication’, Pee eC teen ae kien Me ee eee an ascot ec es ay Preece materi smen sree eeu Rea een aT UIA acu reo acca ea Rarer) ete eRe oa ee RL EL students know. Students who are strong in science and the other sections of ORO ian sa Sn ee gst involved in Section 2. Section 2 involves 60 minutes in total for two essays, or 30 minutes per essay. In terms of breaking down your time, a common piece of advice is to TORT Co Cec Cea ron sy eau ae ont? De RN Ma cue ee On eam Ea Nese ne cc acc emmaWriting is a skill. Thus, writing well requires practice, feedback, and more practice. Inthe GAMSAT® you have 30 minutes to write an essay. The best way to start preparing for this section isto: Start typing After thirty minutes stop. Read what you have written out loud to yourself. Ask yourself: Find a set of GAMSAT® essay quotes - Use the Free Quote Generator on our website, {© oes what have writen make sense? sit wel-miten, or are there mistakes that detract from the qualty ofthe essay? Ave there sentences that are long and clumsy? Is what have writen intresting and orignal? © whatisthe central pint ofthis pece of wrting? What was trying say? (© Is my central idea closely related to the theme ofthe prompts? 1 Have linc in-depth erica analysis? Have | demonstrated that have thought deeply about my ideas? Ifyou think you have written something worth reading, let sameone else read it Listen to their eriticism. Ifyou follow this process several things will happen: © You'l get a good sense of how much you can type in 30 minutes. (© You increase the amount you can type in 30 mins © Most importanty, you wl star to learn how to wri well, Doing well in this section is essential for geting into medicine-those that get in do well in all parts of the GAMSATS. Importantly, however, writing well will help you in your medical career. Doctors need to be able to communicate effectively and clearly to many different audiences - patients, colleagues, and students. Themes Checklist GAMSAT® Section 2 Task A Themes: ‘Task A generally deals with socio-cultural issues and Is best ‘suited to an argumentative style of essay, Examples of ‘themes for Task A include: © Freedom © Science © Poverty © war © Technology @ Weatth © Punishment @ Gime GAMSAT ® Section 2 Criteria and Marking te oa “The quality of what is said GAMSAT® Section 2 Task 8 Themé ‘Task B centres around more personal and emotional issues, ‘and invites a more creative or reflective essay style, This can include the following themes: © Friendship © Youth © Originality © tove @ Ageing © Conformity © beauy @ Suffering @ Humour ‘The quality ofthe structure developed and the language used What is made of and developed from the task The shape and form ofthe piece ‘The kinds of thoughts and feelings offered in response tothe task ‘The effectiveness and fluency ofthe languageThese criteria can be broken into a checklist. Strong essays shoul (© Be strongly related to the theme of the prompts. ‘The GAMSAT® is atest of reasoning skis: your markers want to see how you think. In order to assess this, they need to see how you have thought about the prompts provides. Essays that are unrelated give the impression of being'pre-written, and are penalised quite heavily. © Be wollwritten and well-structured, ‘Sentences should be dear and concise. Paragraphs should only cantain ane main idea. Introductions and conclusions should summarise the essay, and not include any information that you do not analyse in your body paragraphs, © Be interesting and original. Rather than simply arguing that the theme of the prompt Is ‘goad’ or ‘bad, try to come up with something mare specific. For example, for 2 set of prompts about research, rather than arguing that esearch is good for the development of society, you could take a more specific ‘approach and argue that ‘research isa male-dominated field that suppresses female voices. © Include detailed critical analysis. ‘Again, your writers want to see how you think, not ‘what you know. This means pulling your examples apart in great detal. Ask yourself {questions, and answer ther in your response. What were the motwvations behind it? Was there a driving ideology? What were the consequences? What does this show about human society? Control of language, Le. grammatical structure and expression, is not assessed as an isolated criteria. It is, however, incorporated into the assessment ofthe overall effectiveness of the response. Your GAMSAT® essays will also be assessed on the depth ofthe ideas presented rather than their breadth so it soften more effective to take a few concepts and analyse them in depth rather than inundating your essay with different arguments. Finally, ACER also notes that candidates are not assessed on the ‘correctness’ ofthe ideas or attitudes they display - It's not your opinion that matters but the way in which you express it. Each individual essay willbe assessed by three independent markers, GAMSAT® Essay Length ACER does not provide any guidelines in regards to an essay structure, minimum ward count, or how long yaur GAMSAT® Section 2 essays should be, However, a maxim that holds true even for the GAMSAT@ Exam is quality over quantity. ‘The quality of what you write is much more important than the quantity and as such, you should focus on what you write about, your expression, ‘and your organisation of ideas, A basic guideline to your GAMSAT® Essay Structure is: © Anintroduction © 3 Body Paragraphs © Conclusion Note, however, that this example structure isnot necessarily applicable to every type of essay. Ifyou were to write a creative piece, the structure of your GAMSAT@ Essay could certainly be more flexible, The main factor to take into account is how to best organise your ideas to ensure that your arguments are convayed logically and coherently ‘A.common piece of advice isto aim for about S00 words, but the most important points to focus on the quality of your essay rather than the quantity. if you can express an idea clearly and effectively in fewer words, then do itGAMSAT® Essay Study Guide - Argumentative Essays Step 1: How to plan your GAMSAT® essay Understand the theme: read the quote and make sure that you look forthe related ideas, not just the main there. Brainstorm ideas: make use of the ideas Bank that youve prepared. You want to have a poo! af examples that can be used for many diferent essays, How do you create an ideas bank? (© Go through many essay prompts to identi ther theme. © ifyou are stuck with ing supporting examples, do some research, Newspapers, erature history, or just» quick search onthe internet © Make s note of your ideas: bulld up your bank! Create a thesis: what is your main message? is clear? Is it communicated regulary? CChoose a structure: consider what's most appropriate for the theme and explore your options, Plan body paragraphs thematically plan your topic sentences and the main points of your thesis. Each body paragraph should have one ‘main example, and needs to support your central argument. rite your GAMSAT® essay Be clear & succinct \Write in logical and well-phrased sentences that can be easily understood. You want to convince your marker: it ls much easier to convince someone if they understand what you are saying! Support what you write ach body paragraph needs to have some form of evidence’ or reasoning to Support what you contend. In an argumentative essay, these will be examples from real life, society, history, and so on. In more reflective essays, take these examples from your own experience. Always come back to the thesis Your writing needs to be relevant to your central argument. A marker cannot reward analysis ifthe analysis has not contributed to your argument. Keep referring back to your thesis by using its key words in your topic and summary sentences of body paragraphs. Step 3: Review your GAMSAT® essay Review what you have written and ensure it makes sense. There's not much time to do this, so It's a quick fly-by of your writing to ensure itis logical and communicates what you are actualy thinking. Check for typos and spelling errors: these are easy to make ina typed exam with no spellcheck, Taking care of small detalls helps to give your marker a good impression of the quality of your waiting GradReady has an essay marking service where you can get 10 essays marked by our experienced tutors with personal feedback within 72 hours.Theme Finding Avoiding common vrting mistakes is easy. The hard partis iguring out what owt, n this section we dscuss how to plan and write your essays For more essay prompts, check out our Free Quote Generator What isthe question? Inthe GAMSAT® Exam, the questions: €@ “Consider the follwing comment and develop a piece of wring in response to one or more of them, faliowed by a series of quotes. These quotes all concern a common theme. So the fist step fo Kenly the theme. This wil be the topic of your essay. Theme Finding ead the frst. quote. (you dont understane cont panto. Read the second quote.(ityou dort understand it dont pani) ‘Compare both quotes. Do you see any related words? Write down one related word from each. Read the third quote. (you dont understand it, dont panic ‘Ae there any words in the third quote related those you have written dow? Read the fourth quote .. and soon. and if this doesnt work try going through the quotes ina different order ‘At the end youll hopefully have a list of words that will point tothe theme, This iso a fal-safe technique, but it can be very helpful Broadly speaking, there can be two techniques to finding a theme. (© Finding the broad theme: this means finding the key words ofa ofthe prompts, eg. ‘democracy and ‘government. © Choosing a specific quote: if one specific quote resonates strongly with you, feel free to target it and its point of view specifically. This can be a useful approach if some of the quotes are difficult. Example 1 College isnt the place ro go for ies. Hellen Keller men a subjeccbecomes totally obsolete, we make i a required course. Peter Drucker ‘The fighting n academia 30 vielous because the stakes are so low, Henry Kissinger ‘The medieval university looked backwards: it professed to bea storehouse of old knowledge. The modern university looks forward and isa ‘factory new knowledge. Thomas Huxley ‘foots brain digests philosophy ico folly, sclence into superston, and art into pedantry. Hence university education. George Bernard Shaw ‘Theme finder: college, course, acaderna, university, education. These words point toa theme: tertiary education and universities. Note that these quotes donot all express the same attude towards universities. Try to identify which are negative and which are postive.Example 2 Dont forget your reat guns, hich are the most respectable argument forthe rights of kings. Frederick the Great “The people are that part ofthe state that does not know what it wants. WF Hegel “Those who cast the votes deride nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything Joseph Statin Win or lose, we go shopping after the election. tmelda Marcos Democracy i the worst form of government except forall those other forms which have been tried from time to time. Winston Churchill ‘The theme finder technique is not as straightforward this ume: try the quotes na clfferent order. Again, try to assess the writer's atcude to the theme. ‘Are the attitudes expressed always wholly negative or wholly postive? General Study Tips © Get feedback on your essays. Its vital that you get your friends, amily, tutors and anyone else to read these essays - ask them to provide criticism and suggestions. (© Critue your own essays. After every essay you write, read it aloud to yourself and listen to seeifit makes sense. ‘Try to mark your own essays © start gently. Dont feel the need to write under time pressure from the word go. I's more important that you develop and improve your ‘essay writing skills before gradually applying realistic time pressure. (© Type your practice essays. Its important that you get accustomed to typing your responses. There is no spellcheck function in the GAMSAT® ‘exam , 50 practise typing responses into word processors without spelling and gremmar corrections. You may also need to work on your ‘typing speed. You will stl be able to use provided sheets of paper for planning and brainstarming if necessary. (© Vary the type of essays that you write. You should make sure you try argumentative, personal reflective essays, fictional creative essays, poetry, and any other medium that can work inthe GAMSAT® exam. The GAMSAT® can throw up unexpected prompts that might be sifcul to write ina particular style: i's important to give yourself the flexibility to deal with anything the exam might throw at you Example GAMSAT ® Essays Even wit all ofthe above tips and topics, it can be difficult to start writing without an idea of what a GAMSAT® Essay should lock tke. ‘That's why weve decided to provide some example essays below with feedback provided by our tutors to help you make a start on your preparation for Section? of the GAMSAT ® Exam. Consider the following comments and develop a piece of writing in response to one or more of them. College isnt the place to go for ideas. Hellen Keller When a subject becomes totally obsolete, we make'ta required course, Peter Drucker “The fighting in acacemvia isso vicious because the stakes are so low. Henry Kissinger ‘The medieval university looked backwards; i professed to be a storehouse of old knowledge. The modern university looks forward and ia fectory new knowledge, Thome Huxley ‘fools bain digests philosophy nto folly, science into superstition, and art nto pedantry. Hence university education. George Bernard ShawLow-standard essay ‘This introduction is very vague. Try to move away from broad, descriptive sentences, and straight into stronger argumentative language. ‘The powers which dominate a community are manipulative rom the moment they get office. They do this simply because they can and because ‘people lke you and me dont stop them when we probably should. Prime Ministers, Presidents, miltary generals all sway the happenings under their ‘command to thelr liking which they should not be allowed to do just because they are leader. Being a leader doesnt solve everything. Those who count the votes determine the direction of the future. This is the only sentence inthe introduction that gives a hint as to what the argument might be. Its best to bbe explicit right from the star: it can be very powerful to open your argument with your thesis statement, Votes should not really be considered as a way to measure how democratic a societys, The vote counters may be blackmailed or threatened by a competing party or even by their own party. Consequently, the number of counted votes will never fully represent the number of votes made. For example, with such political turmoil in the mille east, elections are always rigged, with the more oppressing and violent parties having power. ‘Supporting examples need to contain strong evidence. Simply stating that ‘elections are always rigged! does ‘not support an argument. Further critical analysis should be included to provide more detail, The people who vote cannot change anything. They ust tel their leaders what they would lke to happen with current affairs. Its the powers that be who decide the direction ofthe future, and in turn the direction af the past. For example, the policy en the emissions trading scherne was given the thumbs up regardless ofits immense unpopularity amang the people, They voted in their candidates to represent what they wanted but these superior powers still went ahead with the ETS, Again, further analysis is required. What are the motivations behind leaders not obeying the wishes of the people? Why is this so? What are the consequences? This is a weak counter-argument. The correct usage of counter- arguments is followed (state the counter-argument, then refute it). However, the evidence is weak. There is no concrete example from reality, and the writing is too general. No convincing conclusions can be drawn. “The counter points that those who count the votes on disputes don't determine the outcome. But as described previously, ths isnot the case. iit ‘were to be, honesty would be a prevailing virtue in our society, and there would be no deceit I this was the case, vty do we still have juries in the ‘courtroom. Shouldn't the suspect just tll the truth? Our society refuses to be truthful fr personal gain, which leads to destruction. We want our ‘desires and willie to get it. Being truthful better. You learn that even when you are. lite kid. So voting is always subjective. Votes are always {Boing to be determined by the counters.Critique Mark 5560 This essay introduces interesting content. The essay is relevant to the theme ofthe prompts, and there are some potentially strong supporting examples. The written expression, however, Is not aways clear. To get at least an average grade, the reader must be able to identify the central argument the writer is making, Then it should be easy to follow this argument through each paragraph with relevant supporting evidence, ‘Making the central argument clear is simple if you follow a series of steps: (© explcey state your point of view thesis statement) in your inroduction (© Everybody paragraph should have a topic and summary sentence atthe begining anéerd ofthe paragraph respectively. Each topic and summary sentence should both summarise the contents ofthe paragraph and importanty, nk back othe thesis. This ensures thatthe analysis ofthe bedy paragraphs is elevant ro the argument. © Restate the thesisin the conclusion. The analysis is weak inthis essay. To produce a convincing argument, there needs to be strong evidence, excelent critical analysis of this, evidence, and a link of this evidence back to the central argument. ‘The examples in the body paragraphs, whilst interesting, were not explained in detal.n peltical ar social essays, having examples from real life rather than hypothetical examples) isa vkal part of being convincing. This essay suffered from a lack of strong supporting examples. Inorder to better demonstrate reasoning kil t's important to analyse supporting examples in critical detall, What are the motivations bbchind something happening - what were the attitudes, values, and beliefs driving k? Why? What does this show about human nature? What are the consequences - for individuals and for society? Without answering these kinds of questions, its very dificult to demonstrate reasoning skils at a high level ‘The essay is also missing a conclusion. The writer of this essay has attempted to record all thelr thoughts and knowledge on a given theme, however, the lack ofa clear structure has made this essay difficult to follow.Medium-standard essay The small errors in the opening of this essay do not give a marker a good impression of the writer. I's ‘important to give yourself the time to quickly check over your work, in order to avoid these kinds of errors. ‘The people are lead to believe that their votes decide the power, however the real power resides with those who count the votes. Whether the power is attained by corruption or manipulation, the people have litle say even what they try to stage a backlash. Examples of corruption aren't hard to find, bur the frustrating case of Robert Mugabe isa strong example, Constant broken pre-election promises try to manipulate the people even ata staged constituency. Time and again tyrants pop up to demonstrate clearly how compromised the electoral process can sometimes become. A strong argumentative structure includes topic and summary sentences at the beginning and end, respectively, ofeach body paragraph. Each topic and summary sentence needs not only to summarise the paragraph, but also link back to the central argument. In this case, the topic sentence summarises the body paragraph, but does not link to the thesis. The strings of bad decisions made by Robert Mugabe have devastated Zimbabwe, whilst somehow benefiting him and his family. n 200 President Mugabe enacted the removal af white ownership of farmland. His plan was to give the land tothe native Zimbabwean’s to make them more successful and therefor give them more of the power. This was an important promise and made him very popular with his countrymen. During the crossover period, Mugabe's family ended up with 38 farms, with the rest going to ur-experienced Zimbabweans. The result was a complete slump in {00d production and in return a falling economy for Zimbabwe, forcing them to abandon their currency in 2008, Ironically Une white farmers had been very effective in their farming and had bolstered the economy. In the 2010 election, despite being generally despised by many Zimbabweans, Robert "Mugabe won another term by a glant 60% ofthe votes, It seems unlikely he would win resection given the circumstances. Corruption among the Voting officials who were under the control of Mugabe is suspected but few are willing to question his authority ‘Again, linking back to the central argument is a vital part of an effective body paragraph. It may seem repetitive, but repetition is all part of making an argument relevant and compelling. This body paragraph is not related to the writer's central argument. When planning an essay, make ‘sure that every supporting example actually supports the point that you are trying to make, Its partially expected by citizens of democratic countries that pre-election promises are seldom kept. However when a candidate is making promises ‘that would highly benefit you and your community, i's hard not to jump on their bandwagon. In the 2013 election, the Labor party promised millions to rural communities to fund different community projects which would have provided stimulation for their economy. However since winning the election and releasing the budget, those promises have been revoked in order to cut cast, Resulting in thousands of rural citizens feeling ‘manipulated by false promises made by the Labor party. This isan excellent example to include; however, the writer needs to analyse it in greater deta n order to demonstrate their reasoning skils. Most recently in WA, an alleged 1800 people have voted multiple times at cifferent polling stations in the 2013 election. Before this, thousands of votes had believed to have simply vanished so a new election was to be held, but in light of this new information an additional investigation is being held. This is an example ofthe people trying to take back the power. Although its ilegal, most would nat consider it tobe any less morally wrong, than corruption oF manipulation especially on a huge scales such as the examples of Robert Mugabe and the Labor party, Vating is enly a human invention, and itcan be easily manipulated just like any other human invention. ‘Tactics of politics are harsh. With emotional and physical tries to power, its not a surprise that votes feel the need to use the same tactics in order to vin back the power. Examples can be found all ver the globe with Zimbabwe and Australia just scratching the surface. In the words of {Joseph Stalin - “Those who cast the votes deiced nothing. Those whe count the votes decide everything,”Critique Mark: 65:67 ‘This isa wellwvriten essay and appears to make a sound argument by incorporating some welL:inforred examples. ‘There is no major flaw with the writcen expression in this essay. While sentences in some cases can be shortened and written in a more direct ‘manner, this is not a major criticism of the essay, There are, however, multiple small errors: people are lead to believe’ should be ‘people are led to believe ‘the people have little say even what they ty to stage a backlash’ should be ‘the people have litte say even when they try to stage a backlash, amongst others, Whilst these are small details it's important to give your marker a strong impression ofthe quality of your written expression. “The structure ofthe essay also follows the basic argumentative essay structure. One of the main Issues that prevents this essay from recelving a higher mark is that the quote thatthe writer has selected is not compatible with the second example that they have provided. This example talks ‘about a political party changing its tune after an election, It isnt clear how it furthers the argument that the electoral process itself is compromised in some way. In argumentative essays, every supporting example should be defending and strengthening the thesis. Irrelevant examples and analysis very dificult for a marker to reward. In fact, they can actually weaken, rather than strengthen, an argument, as they distract the reader from the ‘central idea. ‘The content ofthis essay appears informed. The wtter, however, has made a crucial mistake in saying that the Labour party won the 2013 election. It ‘asthe Liberal party. If this mistake were made once in the textit could be dismissed as a typographical error under the time pressure; however, itis repeated. ‘This essay could also go to a more sophisticated level of ertical analysis. The details ofthe examples could be teased out to further support the central example. For example, in the third body paragraph, what are the consequences of these votes being lost? Democracy is being compromised and people's vores are being silenced: imagine living ina country where voting is compulsory, yet your vate is no counted, Is this a betrayal ofthe people? How i it an example ofthe people trying to take back power? Perhaps because they are demanding accountability from thelr democratic ‘government. [sthis, in self, promising? Namely, whilst voting is pen to corruption, ina true democracy, the people have a right to freedom of speech and to transparency of government, Does the true spirit of demacracy, then, help to defeat the possible corruption af the vating process? Going into this level of detail would demonstrate stronger reasoning skils. Markers want to see how a candidate thinks, and how deeply they think -not simply what they know. ‘This essay fs quite good, and it has chosen a challenging argument to present, Howeve rectly to the argument that the writer is trying to make. ican be improved by a better selection of content that goesHigh-standard essay Communism and democracy can been placed on opposing sides of the politcal spectrum. However, both these forms of government have converging facets. People will see the advantages and disadvantages in both and so it seems that we are always trying to look only to the left or tothe right for, the answer, rather than looking forward, Rather than choosing from given set of options, as inventors and innovators, we should look ahead towards a new form of government that Incorporates the benefits of both styles. This is a clear and concise argument. This means that readers know precisely what the essay will contain. This is nota body paragraph, as it does not present a supporting example and analysis of it. tis a descriptive paragraph provided for context. iftime allows, these paragraphs can be effective additions. However, ifpressed for time, it's Important to get straight into body ‘paragraphs, as itis from these that the bulk of marks will be awarded, Both democracy and communism are theoretically favourable. Communism espouses a classless society, where everyone is equal, no rch, no poor, full employment of manpower and an equitable distribution of wealth, Democracy as Abraham Lincoln perfectly described itis: “Government of the people, by the people, for the people." Freedom of speech, and the right to vote depicts a superb society tobe apart of. In essence, both form,s of {government seek to empower individuals. Infact communism was formed very much on the essential appeal ofthese ideas to its creators. Yet the catch is, in reality this isnt the case. Human beings it could be argued, have a natural predisposition to compete. itis here in which these two polar forms of government are woven to share 3 common thread. Bath never get to the tue forms oftheir governments, They aren't what they make aut to be, For example in Australia, yes we have the right co vote, and have our say but are we really getting a flr choice? It could be argued that we are forced to choose between two partes which are very similar in the end. The true form of communism is alike the true form of democracy: they just dont exist This paragraph would be more effective ifit had a clearer topic sentence. The paragraph focusses on a problem of democracy: when neither choice is desirable. The topic sentence should reflect this more explicty. ‘On one level nobody's questioning that democracy or communism is the best form of government for their country, they see it asthe only game in ‘town, The problem is that people are stating to believe that tis not a game worth playing For the last 30 years, political scientists have observed that there is a constant dedine in electoral turnout. The 2006 Bulgarian election saw 83% of people vote with a blank ballot, it was a way of showing that they had nobody to vote for. | think we are starting to see the signs that people are waking up to this situation, People are starting to realize that, either form of government is what it makes out to be. We saw this through the Occupy movement back in 2011 and I believe that this just once step towards changing our outlook on how we govern our countries, Body paragraphs should focus on one main example. This example needs to be analysed in detail. Any additional example that is mentioned Jn passing, without being analysed, is not strengthening an argument. ‘More context is required to explain this example and to analyse it. This example has also not been made relevant to the central argument. Technology has played a major role in our silence but also reforms against our current government. fwe turn the Arab Spring, then we see that technology has the potential to start a revolution. We saw the use of Facebook bringing together people from the virtual world tothe real world, sharing the same ideas, the same anger, and the same desire for freedom, to change thelr ruling, So you see we have the same tool creating to very different affects, one sedative, the other stimulating, ‘As Thomas Jefferson said, “fa nation expects to be ignorant and free, ina state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.” Instead of turning to one fram of government, just because It's seen as the best fit for our country, we need to wake up from this phase and look to new, Innovative and stronger forms of government, as the ones that have long served us are slowly starting to crack.Critique Mark: 70-73 ‘This essay isa high standard essay as it argues a central thesis - that a new form of government should be considered - in an informed way. In general, the written expression is clear and concise: each sentence is clearly constructed and is not overly verbose. There are, however, some minor errors in expression. These datract from a markers otherwise favourable impression so it's always important to take the time to chack an essay for these mistakes. ‘The structure ofthe essay is coherent and easy to follow. The student introduces the thesis that nether democracy nor communism isthe best ‘option ane that a new form of government should be considered. The student then proceeds to consider both these forms of government, their advantages, disadvantages and other factors such as the reduced voter turnout and the Impact of technology in making a strong case for the consideration of a new form of government. The supporting examples in themselves are interesting; however, they need to be made relevant tothe central argument. This can be achieved by hhaving stronger topic and summary sentences that not only summarise the body paragraph, but explicitly link back to the central thesis. The line of reasoning that the student has chosen in response to this particular set of quotes is uncommon and therefore stands out from other essays. The writer has used navel evidence such as the voter turnout in the Bulgarian elections, the Occupy movement of 2011 as well as a quote by Thomas Jefferson to demonstrate their broad knowledge in relation to the theme. The essay is therefore interesting and original ‘This essay began to include some good analysis of Its supporting examples, The second body paragraph, In particular, began to ask those critical questions: why did this happen? What does it show? This depth of analysis just needs to be expanded into the other body paragraphs - particularly the final one This essay successfully combines significant cantent in a coherent way. While there may be better ways to express some ofthe ideas conveyed in this essay, this can be expected given the limited time frame inthe exam and these errors do not detract that much from the score.Average Improvement of 20+ Percentile Points over the last 9 Years 9000+ 10+ Happy Students Years Experience GRADREADY.COM.AU TEL : (03) 9819 6696