Bite-Sized Training™

Mentoring Skills
 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

Mentoring Skills
Bite-Sized Training
This e-book is published by Mind Tools Ltd.

Copyright © Mind Tools 2007-2011. All rights

reserved.

Version: 3.0

This e-book is protected by international copyright

law. You may use it only if you are a member of
the Mind Tools Club™. If you have any queries,
please contact us at
[email protected].

Cover image © iStockphoto/ermingut

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 2

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

Contents

Introduction ........................................................................................................................................ 4

1. Understanding How You‟ve Benefited From Mentoring .................................................................. 5

2. Becoming a Mentor ........................................................................................................................ 8

3. Planning to Mentor ....................................................................................................................... 10

4. Empowered Mentoring ................................................................................................................. 14

5. Key Learning Points ..................................................................................................................... 15

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 3

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

Introduction
Mentoring is a genuine desire for success and a clear
“A lot of people have
relationship. It‟s also gone further than they
commitment to the process are necessary. When
a journey. On this thought they could, done well, mentoring is great for improving the
expedition are two because someone else productivity and effectiveness of the people
people. One person thought they could.” - Zig involved. It‟s not a matter of luck, and there are
believes in the Ziglar, author many tools that you can use to build meaningful
other‟s talents and is mentoring relationships.
committed to that person‟s success. The other is
willing and open to learning, and growing, and In this Bite-Sized Training™ session you‟ll be
becoming the best they can. introduced to some of these tools. You„ll also be
given a chance to start thinking about what place
Both stand to get a lot from the relationship. And, mentoring can have in your own professional life.
as with any interpersonal journey, there are In the next hour, the exercises and notes will help
challenges. Effective mentoring involves being you:
able to find your way around the challenges, and
take advantage of the many opportunities that 1. Understand how you have benefited from
await. mentoring in the past.
2. Determine what you have to offer as a
Yet, while some people think that good mentoring mentor.
is just “something that happens” or only comes to 3. Formulate a mentoring plan for
those who are lucky enough to find the right professional development.
mentor, in fact mentoring is a skill that can be 4. Create a mentoring agreement.
learned and developed.

Good mentoring comes from being aware of what

it takes to enter into a mentoring relationship. A

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 4

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

1. Understanding How You’ve Benefited From Mentoring

A mentoring relationship is typically characterized discover the mentor in you is to examine the
by an older and more experienced person various mentoring experiences you have had in
assisting a younger or less experienced person to the past.
grow and learn. This is not a new concept for
personal and professional growth and These can have occurred in a variety of ways.
development. It has been practiced formally and Mentoring may be a one-shot intervention or a
informally for years. long-term relationship. It may have been
developed formally or it can happen in an informal
Mentoring is an efficient way of developing setting. However, when you‟ve been “touched” by
talented people within your organization, of a mentor, you know it.
supporting professional goals, and sharing skills
in a mutually beneficial partnership. Formal mentoring happens when a specific
relationship is established with a senior person.
Effective mentoring focuses on the human Often this is to teach new skills or to groom
relationships, commitments, and resources someone for future roles and responsibilities.
needed to help a less experienced person find
success and fulfillment in their professional Informal mentoring can come from an ongoing
pursuits. Mentors are not power figures. They are relationship, where one person listens, helps
not authoritarian in their approach. discuss problems, and shares special knowledge
or wisdom.
Rather, a mentor is someone who helps someone
else learn something quicker and more To understand how you yourself have benefited
thoroughly than if that person is left to discover from mentoring, reflect on your own experiences
things on his or her own. by think about the following:

Tip:  What kind of mentoring did you receive?

Mentoring in the workplace is an idea that has  How did it compare to the mentoring
been practiced both formally and informally for received by people around you?
decades, and, in both forms, its power as a  What did you find helpful and unhelpful
medium for developing talented people has been about the mentoring you received?
well proven.
 How well did the mentoring you received
Recognizing this, many organizations have
apply to your professional and/or personal
developed formal mentoring programs as a way of success?
encouraging and promoting the movement of  How well did your mentors prepare you for
people into leadership positions. From these your career?
somewhat partisan beginnings, workplace  What other kinds of mentoring would have
mentoring moved to a position where it is now a been helpful to you?
mainstream activity, designed to assist all
employees in their personal and professional The answers to these questions may help you to
development.
define the kind of mentor you want to be and
identify the building blocks for developing
Some mentors are encouragers, some are productive mentoring relationships with others.
advisors, and some are more like teachers.
Regardless of style, mentoring requires a
significant investment of time and energy to
helping another grow. One of the best ways to

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 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

Action: Consider significant events and people in your life. Think about these in terms of mentoring,
and then answer the following questions.

Have You Been Mentored?

Have you had an “ah ha” moment in your life? Who was there to help you make the discovery? How
did this person impact your life and in what way could he/she be considered a mentor?

Has someone ever quoted something or said something to you that was profound that you‟ve carried
the meaning with you ever since? Who is the person? Would you consider this person a mentor?
Why or why not? What mentoring qualities did you learn from this person?

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 6

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

Is there a person who helped you uncover a latent talent, ability, or desire? How did this person
encourage you and help you with your discovery? How has this impacted your life and your
mentoring vision?

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 7

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

2. Becoming a Mentor

Good mentoring rarely “just happens.” It develops empowering. (You can find out more
from reflection, planning, and an understanding of about how to motivate others in this
your unique qualities as a mentor. Just as other article:
people mentored you in different ways, you will http://www.mindtools.com/community/pag
mentor others in your unique way. es/article/motivating-your-team.php.)
 Commitment - invest enough time in the
It is important to remember that effective relationship, and mentor regularly.
mentoring, like wisdom itself, is multidimensional.  Desire to help - make sure you are truly
The best mentors adjust their role to meet the interested in helping someone else,
mentee‟s needs. There is no single formula for without a promise of help in return.
good mentoring, however, there are key
characteristics and behaviors that build a These qualities tell your mentee that he or she is
foundation for good mentoring. These are: valuable enough for you to spend time with, that
you will be honest with him or her, and that you
 Approachability - let your mentees know are engaged in and supportive of his or her
you are interested and available. Share development and success. All are powerful
personal information and relate to them. It messages that will help your mentee get through
will be particularly helpful to them to know challenges and emerge better, stronger, and
that they can come to you, and that you more capable.
will care.
 Information sharing - be willing to share Mentoring is also very much a two-way street. It is
openly, and establish a pattern of mutual a process in which both mentor and mentee
information exchange. Encourage them to benefit from the networking, sharing of ideas and
try new things and expand their own interaction that can lead to lifelong friendship and
knowledge base. mutual growth.
 Open communication - find ways to make
sure contact is regular and meaningful. Coaching versus mentoring:
 Trustworthiness - ensure your mentees These terms are often used interchangeably when
in fact they are key differences. Mentoring is much
feel free to discuss issues with you without more relational, whereas coaching is functional.
fear of reprisal.
 Respect - let the mentee know you You coach to teach a skill and improve current
respect their time and opinions. Share productivity and performance.
what you learn from them. Acknowledge
their skills and progress. Mentoring takes on a longer term and broader
 Appropriate feedback - let your mentees focus. It‟s not limited to current performance or
know how you feel in a respectful and current activities. The focus of mentoring is more
on preparing a person for future challenges and
gentle manner. Timely, assertive,
giving him or her life skills as well as technical
empathic, and honest communication is skills. Essentially a mentor may also coach,
important. (Learn more about giving and however, a coach is not a mentor.
receiving feedback in this article:
http://www.mindtools.com/community/pag You can find out more about coaching in this
es/article/newTMM_98.php.) article:
 Technical expertise - remain up to date http://www.mindtools.com/community/pages/article
and current with your own knowledge. /newTMM_15.php.
 Supportiveness - work on being
motivating, encouraging, positive and

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 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

Action: Think about your interest in being a Tip:

mentor, and answer the following questions: If a mentoring relationship won‟t give you benefits
that you need, either for yourself or for an
important member of your team, then that‟s a
useful thing to know!

Why Do You Want To Mentor?

What characteristics do you posses that make you a good mentor or potential mentor?

What benefits do you believe you will gain from a mentoring relationship?

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 9

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

3. Planning to Mentor

As you start to enter into a mentoring relationship  Your own work?

with someone, it‟s useful to clarify your goals and  Technical issues?
expectations. For this to be a mutually rewarding  How to network?
experience, you should have a good idea of how  How to maintain a balance in work and
the relationship will work. Of course, as the life?
relationship grows you will likely revisit your  How to identify and fulfill personal
original assumptions, however, having a place to dreams?
start is useful.  Workplace realities?
 Help securing a job: opportunities,
Issues to consider when thinking about your networking, interviews, resume critique,
expectations include: etc…?
Why do you want to be a mentor? What
Tip: are the rules of the relationship?
Reverse mentoring is the practice of more senior
 It‟s a way to “give back”? staff
 pumping
Completeyounger staff for their wisdom. What
confidentiality?
 Provide encouragement and support to makes
 Sharing personalgeneration
the younger details? tick? What
someone else? technologies should be used to tap into younger
 Meeting places?
 Establish a close relationship? people‟s thinking and behavior?
 Meeting times?
 Challenge yourself to learn new things?
 Time
Reverse commitments?
mentoring is an efficient way to bridge the
 Pass on knowledge?
generation gaps in organizations. It leads to
 Further develop your network? significant insights and increased performance. It‟s
also a great opportunity for younger workers to
What do you expect to discuss, explore, and connect with the company and enhance their level
provide? of engagement and commitment.

 Career options and preparation?

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 10

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

Action: Think of a person you might consider mentoring, and detail your expectations about how the
relationship may work. Use the questions above as a starting point for thinking about this.

Mentoring Expectations

Why do you want to mentor?

What will you discuss, explore, and provide?

What rules do you want to operate?

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 11

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

To remain accountable in your mentoring

relationship and ensure your mutual goals and
expectations are met, you may want to consider
creating a formal mentoring agreement. Here
you outline the objectives as well as any rules
and expectations you want documented.

A mentoring agreement may include:

 Specific objectives.
 Confidentiality statement.
 Meeting frequency.
 Meeting format. (Face to face, phone,
Internet, etc.)
 Duration of mentoring relationship.
 Voluntary termination of agreement
statement.

We show a template for this on the next page.

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 12

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

Mentoring Agreement Template

I, _______________________________ and ______________________________ are voluntarily

entering into a mentoring relationship. To this end we have agreed on the following:

Objectives:

1.
2.
3.

Confidentiality:
Issues discussed are assumed to be held in confidence unless otherwise stated. When an issue is
deemed appropriate to discuss with an outside party, a note will be made of the arrangement for
further clarification and future reference.

Meeting Frequency and Mode:

Meetings will take place at least _______ times per _______. The meeting formats will

include: ____________________, ______________________ and ______________.

Duration:

This mentoring relationship will continue as long as we both feel comfortable or until

Other Rules and Expectations:

Should one of us decide to terminate this agreement for any reason, he/she is free to do so. We
agree to abide by one another‟s decision.

____________________ _________________
Mentor Mentee

____________________ _________________
Date Date

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 13

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

4. Empowered Mentoring
Once you begin mentoring it‟s important that you showcase their accomplishments to others. Not
maintain the momentum of the relationship and only does this expose them to other
still respect the boundaries. It‟s easy to get too professionals, it helps them build their own
involved and want to solve your mentee‟s network of people to consult.
problems. You need to remember that you are
there to support, not “do.” Learning to ask great questions is a valuable skill
for a mentor. It pushes the mentee to think for
The best mentoring is a process rather than an himself or herself, and it encourages more
event. As a mentor you are providing guidance so comprehensive discussions. (You can learn some
that mentees can solve their own problems and great questioning techniques at:
develop in their own way. You are empowering http://www.mindtools.com/community/pages/articl
them with knowledge and not simply passing on e/newTMC_88.php.)
what you know.
Similarly, where you‟ve identified things that need
You want to encourage them to take responsibility to be worked on or achieved, goal setting is an
for achieving their goals. This means giving them important and effective technique to use to effect
time and space to complete their tasks on their change. (Find out more at:
own. Be prepared and available to provide more http://www.mindtools.com/community/pages/articl
advice and counsel as they near completion and e/page6.php.)
resist the temptation to do it for them.
And structuring your meetings around specific
Remember that the most valuable lessons often issues is a great way to ensure your mentee is
come from making mistakes, so let your mentees benefiting from the relationship in meaningful and
fall down occasionally, just as long as this isn‟t measurable ways. To make the most of any
too damaging. Then, encourage them to get back mentoring relationship, make sure to have
up again, and find a better way to reach their thoughtful discussions with your mentees and ask
goal. them what they need from you to navigate their
professional experience, and achieve their goals
As a way to build confidence, find areas where and objectives.
they can prove their success, and help them

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 14

 Mentoring Skills Bite-Sized Training™ | Mind Tools™

5. Key Learning Points

Mentoring is a valuable exercise for all involved.
It’s an effective means of training and
development and it contributes to a significant,
positive impact on the way in which personal and
professional goals are achieved. Learning
through mentoring is instant and the information
received has the value of being tried and tested.

Mentors impart knowledge gained from years of

experience, mentees learn invaluable lessons,
and they both learn from one another in a
mutually satisfying way.

Preparing for a great mentoring relationship by

examining your own mentoring experiences is an
important first step. When followed by a close
examination and agreement of expectations and
goals, the relationship has the potential to propel
both parties to achieve outcomes they had not
previously imagined.

Tip:
If you’re interested in finding a mentor through the
Mind Tools Club please visit the Mentor Network.

You’ll find tips and discussions on mentoring, and if

you’re a premium member, you can join and browse
the network and connect with other members to
develop a mutually beneficial mentoring
relationship.

© Mind Tools Ltd, 2007-2011. 15