THE 2022 COLLECTION ISSUE 2

sound check 4 pop

cult 6 the look 18
bites 40 life
stuff 48 love stuff
astrology 70 the
It’s a Vibe
Page 48 2022 music
it list 72 bella
poarch 82
musicians +
beauty 94 a ballet
investigation 100
TOP LEFT: BETH SACCA. FOR SHOPPING INFORMATION, GO TO COSMOPOLITAN.COM.

call of the Love This for You

Page 18

Up and Coming
Page 30 urban cowgirl 108
the last page 114
C O V E R P H O T O G R A P H B Y K A N YA I W A N A
C O V E R FA S H I O N B Y C A S S I E A N D E R S O N

On Bella: Tiffany & Co. Elsa Peretti earrings and necklace. Sermoneta Gloves opera gloves. Fabio Novembre for Casamania “Her” chair.
Hair: Donovan Domingo-Pa. Makeup: Jose Corella using Dior Forever Skin Glow Foundation. Manicure: Yoko Sakakura for A-Frame
Agency. Props: Bette Adams for MHS Artists. Production: Crawford & Co Productions. To get Bella’s look, try Color Sensational Ultimatte
Slim Lipstick in More Honey, TattooStudio 36HR Brow Pencil in Black Brown, Expert Wear Eyeshadow in Dusty Rose, Lash Sensational Sky
High Mascara in Cosmic Black, and Facestudio Master Chrome Metallic Highlighter in Molten Rose Gold, all by Maybelline New York.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 1
 Editor-in-Chief SVP/Group Publishing Director
JESSICA PELS N A N CY B E R G E R
C R E ATIV E D I R ECTO R Mallory Roynon G RO U P E XEC UTIV E FI N A N C I A L D I R ECTO R Kathy Riess
E XEC UTIV E ED ITO R Sascha de Gersdorff V P, SA LES Leslie Picard
E XEC UTIV E D I G ITA L ED ITO R Rosa Heyman G RO U P E XEC UTIV E D I R ECTO R Stacy Nathan
E XEC UTI V E M A N AG I N G ED ITO R Maria Baugh
C H I EF V I S UA L- CO NTENT D I R ECTO R Alix Campbell V P, M A R K E TI N G Kristina McMahon
FAS H I O N D I R ECTO R Cassie Anderson G RO U P M A R K E TI N G D I R ECTO RS Marnie Braverman, Marianne Civiletto
B E AUT Y D I R ECTO R Julee Wilson
ENTERTA I N M ENT D I R ECTO R Maxwell Losgar I N T E G R AT E D A DV E R T I S I N G S A L E S
D ES I G N D I R ECTO R Jose Fernandez E XEC UTIV E D I R ECTO RS , E AST COAST Andrea Foster,
FE ATU R ES D I R ECTO R Erin Quinlan Julia Whalen, Doug Zimmerman
A RTI C L ES D I R ECTO R Madeleine Frank Reeves E XEC UTIV E D I R ECTO RS , WEST COAST Jee Ahn, Margot Becker Giblin
L I FEST Y LE D I R ECTO R Ashley Oerman SA LES D I R ECTO RS , E AST COAST Monique deBoer, Nicole Shuldiner
FAS H I O N FE ATU R ES D I R ECTO R Rachel Torgerson SA LES D I R ECTO RS , M I DWEST Hope Agase, Nikki Giovannoni
N E WS A N D P O P C U LTU R E D I R ECTO R Alexandra Whittaker SA LES M A N AG ER Alexis Herder
M A N AG I N G ED ITO R Christopher Dean D I R ECT R ES P O N S E M A N AG ER Dawn Franco
E XEC UTIV E AS S I STA NT TO SV P Aliyah Wilson
F E AT U R E S SA LES AS S I STA NTS Paulina Carrillo, Angela Martinez
S EN I O R O PI N I O N ED ITO R Patrice Peck A DV ERTI S I N G FI N A N C E D I R ECTO R Elizabeth Bloom
S EN I O R ASTRO LO GY ED ITO R Erika W. Smith R ES E A RC H M A N AG ER Emma Chapman
S EN I O R S H O PPI N G ED ITO R Kim Duong
FE ATU R ES ED ITO R Elizabeth Kiefer I N T E G R AT E D M A R K E T I N G
S E X A N D R EL ATI O N S H I PS ED ITO R Veronica Lopez E XEC UTIV E M A R K E TI N G D I R ECTO RS Stephanie Block,
ENTERTA I N M ENT ED ITO R Emma Baty Christina Cordero, Ariel Kaye, Melissa Macaleer
SO C I A L M ED I A ED ITO R Maddie Hiatt M A R K E TI N G D I R ECTO R , S PEC I A L PROJ ECTS Kelly Roma
AS SO C I ATE ED ITO R Taylor Andrews M A R K E TI N G D I R ECTO R Bonnie Blue
AS SO C I ATE ENTERTA I N M ENT ED ITO R Tamara Fuentes AS SO C I ATE M A R K E TI N G D I R ECTO RS Alesandra Ajlouni, Rhyan Kelly
AS SO C I ATE N E WS ED ITO R Christen A . Johnson S EN I O R M A R K E TI N G M A N AG ER Stephanie Rubino
AS SO C I ATE S H O PPI N G ED ITO RS Hanna Flanagan, M A N AG ER , S PEC I A L E V ENTS Grace McLoughlin
Jacquelyn Greenfield AS SO C I ATE M A R K E TI N G M A N AG ER Caroline Hall
AS S I STA NT S H O PPI N G ED ITO R Megan Uy C R E ATIV E D I R ECTO R Lulu Zeitouneh
S EN I O R A RT D I R ECTO R Paula Prado
ED ITO R I A L B U S I N ES S CO O R D I N ATO R Caryn Kanare SA LES & M A R K E TI N G CO O R D I N ATO R Flannery Wilson
AS S I STA NT TO TH E ED ITO R- I N - C H I EF Annabel Iwegbue
ED ITO R I A L B U S I N ES S AS S I STA NT Mariah Schlossmann PRODUCTION
O PER ATI O N S ACCO U NT M A N AG ER Lynn Scaglione
FASHION
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FAS H I O N ED ITO R Ann Wang
ACC ES SO R I ES ED ITO R Jaclyn Palermo PUBLISHED BY HEARST
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A RT D I R ECTO R Mary Fama S EC R E TA RY Catherine A . Bostron
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D I G I TA L C R E AT I V E PR ES I D ENT, H E A RST M AGA ZI N ES I NTER N ATI O N A L Jonathan Wright

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2 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
LOVE IS
IN THE
HAIR
For those who know their beauty lies in their
KPLYLUJLZ6.?PZ`V\Y[Y\Z[LKWHY[ULYMVY
LUKSLZZOHPYJHYLWVZZPIPSP[PLZ

DISCOVER OUR 30+ STANDOUT FORMULAS

VN_ILH\[`JVT
 The
Cosmo Quiz
Bella Poarch Edition

MY NICKNAME

THE FIRST CD
I EVER BOUGHT

THE LAST SCREENSHOT IN

MY CAMERA ROLL

LATTO, AUDREY NUNA, HUDDY, AND RAVEENA: SAVANNA RUEDY. ON RAVEENA: NICOLE ROSE JEWELRY RING (LEFT). ANNE SISTERON RING (RIGHT). ON HUDDY: CASABLANCA SCARF.
Sound Check MY PERFECT, NO-SKIPS
ROAD TRIP ALBUM
When the Cosmo team was deciding which themes we wanted to
explore for our 2022 collection, music was the first thing on our list.
It was partly selfish: There are just a ton of cool new artists we’ve been

POARCH: KANYA IWANA; FASHION BY CASSIE ANDERSON. NORMA KAMALI CATSUIT. PATRICIA VON MUSULIN EARRINGS. PELS: ALLIE HOLLOWAY.
dying to feature...Bella, of course, and the four you see above from
our rising talent portfolio (page 72). But also partly because music is THE BEST THING I’VE
actually the single most relevant pop-cultural topic today. Despite our WORN IN A MUSIC VIDEO
collective obsession with TV shows and movies, it’s music that—per a
fancy-schmancy Cosmo research
study and also per being a human
on this planet—we’re all most of, every QR code in this mag opens
into. Gen Z, millennial, and Gen X a playlist we made for you!) Even
women rank it as their favorite old stuff is new again: Vinyl sales MY DREAM COLLAB
form of entertainment right now. have spiked to their highest since the WOULD BE WITH...
The industry has changed dras- late 1980s, and Disney might be a
tically in the past few years alone— prestige streaming platform now,
TikTok has replaced the radio as but it’s still cranking out screen-to-
the “hitmaker” of new songs and song superstars like it’s 2002 (see:
artists, many of whom can skirt Olivia Rodrigo).
the historically exploitative record There’s more change to come. MY LOVE LANGUAGE
label system and emerge more or With the official return of concerts
less on their own terms. Music also this summer, we’ll finally get the live
has a modern side hustle: “Playlist performances we’ve been missing for
creators” are curating lists for cli- years, as we simultaneously grapple
ents or on social media, the por- with what festivals should look like
table DJs of the future. (Speaking after both COVID-19 and Astroworld.
A very worthy convo...and a reminder
that music isn’t just about hits—it can
help us reflect, react, and push toward
better things ahead.

Jessica Pels
EDITOR-IN- CHIEF

4 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
Twenty years of sustainable periods.

Recycle through the

DivaRecycles Program
visit divacup.com to learn more
 pop cult
No Time
for Plans,
Must
Consume
Content
In case you need a few
new reasons to cancel
that brunch.
B Y TA M A R A F U E N T E S

LISSYELLE.

6 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
P O P C U LT E xc u s e s to Sta y I n

Giving the
World Away,
by Hatchie
April 22
This is definitely no
sophomore slump—
the Australian singer-
songwriter’s second
album is an otherworldly
dream-pop wonderland,
complete with highly
addictive dance-around-
your-room anthems like
“This Enchanted” and
darker, honest tracks like
“Quicksand.”

GIVING THE WORLD AWAY: LISSYELLE. PACHINKO: COURTESY APPLE. THE OFFER: COURTESY PARAMOUNT. SANDITON: RED PLANET LTD/JOSS BARRATT.
Sanditon
Now streaming, PBS Masterpiece

If you’re itching to fill

the absolute void that
finishing Bridgerton
season 2 left in your
life, welcome. This
Regency-era series,
based on an unfin-
Pachinko
March 25, Apple TV+
The Offer
April 28, Paramount+
ished Jane Austen
Based on the novel Did you know The manuscript, is making
of the same name,
Pachinko follows four
Godfather almost didn’t
get made because its return after a two-
generations of a Korean
family living in exile
the actual mafia did
everything in its power year wait. Sure, you
during the 20th century.
One of the (many) things
that makes the drama
to stop it? The original
movie’s producer finally might have to hack
series so powerful is
its dialogue...in three
tells his side of the story
in this based-on-a-true- into your mom’s PBS
different languages.
If you relate to the
event series starring
Miles Teller. Come for account to watch, but
immigrant experience
at all, this one will hit you
the juicy behind-the-
scenes details, stay
for Juno Temple’s
it’s honestly worth it.
right in the feels. American accent.

Just a playlist of all the other new

8 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2 songs you simply must hear right now:
P O P C U LT E xc u s e s to Sta y I n

Get Lit

© 2022 FOCUS FEATURES, LLC. STANLEY TUCCI: COURTESY CNN. BLOOD SUGAR: COURTESY PUTNAM. THE MEMORY LIBRARIAN:
MINX: KATRINA MARCINOWSKI/COURTESY HBO MAX. FUNNY GIRL: MATTHEW MURPHY. THE NORTHMAN: AIDAN MONAGHAN/

JANELLE MONÁE © JUCO. FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK: PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE. MEMPHIS: COURTESY RANDOM HOUSE.
BLOOD SUGAR, Minx Funny Girl The Northman
by Sascha Rothchild Now streaming, Previews begin March April 22, theaters
April 19
HBO Max 26, August Wilson Between Anya Taylor-
A murderer turned Theatre, New York City
therapist is framed for Hello to this Major ’70s Joy’s character being
killing her husband Fashion Moment of a Well, well, well, if it isn’t a able to “break men’s
in this twisty thriller. show. A feminist (Ophelia show worth planning a minds” and Alexander
Lovibond) who’s always trip for! It’s been 58 years Skarsgård as a hot
wanted to make a since Funny Girl first Viking prince, this movie
magazine finally gets premiered on Broadway, has lots to unpack and
the chance thanks to and it’s finally getting enjoy. Unfortunately,
*checks notes* an erotica a revival starring our unlike in director Robert
publisher? Jake Johnson beloved Beanie Feldstein. Eggers’s last movie The
plays the guy who gets Get tickets now so that Lighthouse, there’s no
her vision, and with help when she inevitably mermaid sex. There is
THE MEMORY from others (like Idara achieves EGOT status, a Nicole Kidman wig,
LIBRARIAN: AND Victor), they bring the you’ll be able to brag though, which we will
OTHER STORIES OF first women’s erotic mag about having seen her be happy to discuss
DIRTY COMPUTER, to life. (P.S. Watch for perform live. at length.
by Janelle Monáe our cameo. )
April 19
Imagine Janelle’s Dirty
Computer album but in
written form. Stanley Tucci:
Searching
for Italy
Now streaming,
CNN+, HBO Max
Picture this: It’s Sunday
night. You’ve mixed your
FUNNY YOU own perfect negroni at
SHOULD ASK, home, based on Stanley
by Elissa Sussman Tucci’s Instagram
April 12 tutorials. You turn on
your TV and watch
A journalist + a hotshot
America’s collective
celeb + two separate inter-
views, 10 years apart. (Yes,
Italian husband eat and
it’s sexy as hell.) drink and charm his way
through each region of
the country in his show’s
second season. And for
just one brief moment in
time, Sunday Scaries are
cured and all is right in
the world.

MEMPHIS, by Tara
M. Stringfellow
April 5

This powerful family

saga asks: What if you
could change your
legacy?

10 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
How to Do
Kacey Musgraves
Like Kacey
Musgraves Does
Kacey Musgraves
She can’t gift you her singing
voice, but she can help
you with some other stuff.
B Y E M M A B AT Y

ON MY LAZIEST DAYS,
I GET READY BY...
Putting Oribe Gold Lust Nourishing
Hair Oil on my hair and letting it air-
dry. And when I’m not in the mood for
a full beat, I throw on EltaMD UV Glow
tinted sunscreen.
Oribe hair oil, $57, oribe.com; EltaMD
sunscreen, $38.50, eltamd.com

ONE HOME ITEM THAT’S SIMPLY

NONNEGOTIABLE
My Slow Burn candle with Boy Smells.
This wasn’t some product I phoned
in for dough. It’s a creation I took my
time on and am proud of. It was
my first time bringing a song to life in
a smell—a scentiment, if you will.
Kacey Musgraves + Boy Smells Slow Burn
candle, $39, boysmells.com

Steal Kacey’s top secret

12 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2 on-tour playlist for yourself:
 P O P C U LT G o o d Ta s te

Also essential to
the equation:
a wind machine.
ADRIENNE RAQUEL.

THE CLOTHING ITEM THAT—NO

JOKE—CHANGED MY LIFE
My long camel trench by Nanushka. THE MUSIC THAT HELPS
You can dress it up or down, and I ME RELAX
love layering it with my camouflage José González’s album Local Valley.
Moncler x Palm Angels coat. It’s so pleasant, and I’m finding a lot of
Nanushka coat, $1,845, nanushka.com; 8 Moncler zen and escape in it.
Palm Angels overshirt, $1,995, moncler.com Local Valley CD, $15, jose-gonzalez.com

IF YOU LEAN IN CLOSE,

I FEEL SMART WHEN I READ... I SMELL LIKE...
Insomniac City, by Bill Hayes. It’s Baccarat Rouge 540. It’s rich and
a wonderful, intimate, and poetic genderless and not too sweet,
read that’s also a love letter to the and it develops differently on everyone.
quirkiness of New York City. Plus, the iconic bottle is gorgeous.
Insomniac City book, $17 for Maison Francis Kurkdjian perfume,
paperback, bloomsbury.com/us $325 for 2.4 oz., nordstrom.com

WHEN I’M NOT ACTUALLY

AT HOME, THIS IS
THE NEXT BEST THING
The Bowery Hotel in New York
City. There’s a charm that can’t be
YOU CAN FIND ME SIPPING... replicated by other hotels, and I love
Herradura Ultra Añejo Tequila. It’s exploring the blocks around it.
what my band and I traditionally Order the truffle focaccia.
shoot right before walking onstage.
The Bowery Hotel, average $495 per night,
Herradura tequila, $67, reservebar.com theboweryhotel.com

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 13
 Exclusive:
Matt James and His Unfiltered Take
on Everything That Happened
We’re 20 years into whatever The Bachelor is—entertainment? social experiment?
influencer boot camp?—and its cultural impact is undeniable. But when Matt James
became the first Black Bachelor, discourse reached a fever pitch. In this excerpt from
his debut book, First Impressions, he opens up about it all.
I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y I A N W O O D S

14 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 P O P C U LT B o o k E xc e r pt

T
he first lesson you learn after being plastered across news outlets large and small. The media mob
announced as the Bachelor is to ignore chanted buzzwords in unison: privileged, insensitive, racist.
social media chatter. I stopped check- The days that followed are a blur. My reputation shifted in
ing Instagram, except to post occa- the minds of many. They questioned my character and judgment.
sionally, and all my friends knew not Everyone called me—friends, family, agents, networks. Many were
to send me the latest gossip. I wasn’t genuinely empathetic. Some were gnats, seeing sweet gossip and
interested. With a new “controversy” eager to feed. Rachael suffered, seeing every past mistake, down
brewing every day, ignorance was truly to the minute, paraded across headlines. And of course, during
bliss. So when rumors about Rachael that period, the show’s host gave one of the worst interviews in
Kirkconnell began bubbling up in the modern memory. The scandal escalated. The walls closed in.
middle of the season, they took weeks to reach me. First came Days passed before I had a moment to consider what the
allegations of high school bullying, then insensitive comments revelation meant to me personally or what, if anything, it should
she supposedly made. A TikTok rant about her past circulated on mean about my relationship with the woman I loved. I retreated
the web. It pulled her parents’ voting record into the fray. News to my friend Tyler Cameron’s place in Florida and used the silence
leaked that she and I chose each other at the end. The micro- to consider all that had just transpired.
scope on her life intensified.

L
Even after filming, especially after filming, being the Bach- ooking again at the picture, it conjured memories
elor was a full-time job. I ran around the country constantly for from an earlier life. I remembered my days in middle
appearances and interviews, too busy to pay any mind to noisy and high school, once my frame filled out, wrestling
nonsense about my girlfriend. Rachael and I spoke almost with how to move through the world in my Black body.
hourly and were as in love as ever. We couldn’t be seen in public I saw how the world regarded men of my size and
together until news of our relationship became official, so while complexion, how it moved away in fear. I compensated early in
I hopped from flight to flight, she returned to Georgia to spend life. I took pains to appear nonthreatening, dedicating myself
time with her family. She mentioned that some things about her to a sport and flashing polished smiles at the parents when
past had popped up on the web, but I shrugged it off and told they approached. I wanted the world to embrace me, and from
her not to worry about it. The Twitter mob would have a new the time I hit my growth spurt, I felt like I was working against
target soon enough. my own biology to earn that warmth. I did it though. I became
Then the picture dropped. Mr. Sanderson, the likable football standout whom you were
It found me in my New York apartment. The TV flashed an proud to bring home to Mom and Dad.
entertainment news alert with Rachael’s face on it. She was I remembered how none of that mattered once I entered
done up—long-lashed and powdered cheeks—with a poufy college. Wake Forest was a new world, and it didn’t know me from
princess dress ruffling down from her shoulders. “BREAKING Adam. I was another 6-foot-something Black man with dreads,
NEWS” blinked in red. The dress wasn’t just any dress, it was an and that was all most people needed to know. A night out for my
antebellum-style dress. The photos were taken prior to a Rose friend Kevin Johnson and me meant rejection, rejection, rejection:
Ball Formal at a campus fraternity. An anchorman caught me up stepping to frat houses and watching frat boys eye us but not see
on the weeks-long buildup that I’d shut out. Social media stuck us, before slamming the door shut. I’d spent my life attempting to
disparate puzzle pieces together. The photo was the missing win favor for the man, the individual, I was. But individuality was
piece that brought the whole concocted image into focus. They useless in a world where my race defined me.
declared Rachael a racist. Looking at the picture of Rachael, I wondered where I would
She called me immediately. I knew the woman I’d chosen to have fit at that party. Then I answered my own question: I wouldn’t
be with. Celebrity gossip, no matter how sensitive, wouldn’t shape have.
my opinion of her. We had gone through too much together The picture forced deeper realizations about our relationship
already. And I knew, in that moment, she’d be hurting. as well. Rachael and I had hardly talked about race.
Her voice on the other end was strained and unsteady. Throughout the show, we discussed the things we had in
Messages—horrible messages—had poured into her inbox. My common—cartoons and superheroes, but also family and values.
only role in that moment was to console her. I assured her that I Those shared qualities became the foundation of our relationship,
knew who she was, that this too would pass. I caught the emotions our love. I talked about Blackness often during filming but almost
that spilled out of her and tried to provide strength in return. She exclusively with the Black women who had come to Nemacolin.
was a solemn storm. That, of course, was for the same reason—we shared in Black-
I still didn’t quite understand what kind of crisis we were deal- ness and grew close over it.
ing with. Judging by her tone alone, I knew it wasn’t like the other Race arose only once between Rachael and me. Late in the
petty nothings that always popped up. season, the number of contestants dwindled, and we imagined
GETTY IMAGES.

Peeking into the gossip sites once we hung up was like stand- life after filming for the two of us. She asked if I was prepared
ing before a dam as it was breached. There were more articles for the backlash we’d face, a mixed-race couple formed before
than any one man could read. Our names were coupled and America. I see now that she asked one question, but I responded

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 15
P O P C U LT B o o k E xc e r pt

to another. She had in her mind the white Southerners she knew and regret. Tears streamed down both our faces. She apologized
well. I considered the many Black people who would feel betrayed. for the pain I felt. I forgave her.
Even if we had been on the same page, my answer would Upon returning home to Tyler’s in Florida, I knew we needed
have been the same. None of it mattered. What mattered was to step away from each other for a time. Rachael and I had been
how we felt about each other. Our love could withstand tempo- on an accelerated track since the show began. In a matter of
rary judgment. weeks, we jumped from strangers to madly in love. We discussed
I was naive. I didn’t anticipate just how divisive we would children and lives together. And I didn’t regret a single second
become. But more than the external perception, I didn’t recognize of any of it. But presented with this new information, I needed to
the role that race would play between the two of us. I am many slow the train down. We both needed to reflect on the relationship
we’d developed, to ask ourselves how deep its
roots really reached. And she needed time to
understand the Black experience, to “do the
work.” For her own sake but also to give our

We still had feelings for each love a chance to be maintained.

Rachael and I didn’t speak for a couple of
other, although we didn’t weeks after the Valentine’s Day trip. Anyone
who has ever been through a breakup can
know what to do with them. relate to the strangeness of being in constant
contact with someone one moment, then
cutting it off cold turkey the next. I’d grown
used to our regular check-ins, the gratifica-
tion of her FaceTimes, seeing her smiling face.
things—a son, a brother, a man of God—and my race is just as Weeks without it felt like dancing off beat. Both of us knew the
formative a force as all those other traits. I am Black. My part- silence couldn’t last forever though. We marked our calendars for
ner would need to understand that—not just the fact of my race mid-March. That was when the “After the Final Rose” ceremony,
but also its many implications. Rachael and I had committed to the grand finale that reunited me with all the women from our
each other without ever exploring one of my most central traits. season, was scheduled. Rachael broke our silence a week before
And if that had gone unexplored, what else could be lingering the reunion, and we texted every day thereafter. We still had feel-
out there with the potential to divide us? ings for each other, although we didn’t know what to do with them.
We decided to keep talking, to be open to our love building back.

I
needed to see Rachael’s face for the hard conversa- “After the Final Rose” was bizarre. We’d spent such an intense
tion ahead. time lumped together. But it had been weeks since all that had
I flew to Georgia for Valentine’s Day. We still couldn’t concluded. Things changed during our time in the open air, away

GETTY IMAGES.
be seen in public together, so I arranged a house for us from the Bachelor bubble. We’d grown in different ways through
to meet in middle-of-nowhere Georgia, away from her the experience and brought our new, improved selves to the
hometown. We called these random locations “safe houses,” studio. Gone were the forced smiles and fluttered eyelashes once
poking fun at the incognito life we led, but
jumping through hoops to see my own
girlfriend had long lost its charm by then.
Butterflies crept through my insides
on the drive to the safe house. I hadn’t felt
so nervous to see Rachael since hand-
ing her the final rose. We’d come a long
way, even since then, but there was a
formalness to our meeting this time that
felt unfamiliar and uneasy.
We hugged when I arrived. She and I
spent two days together, and then on the
third day, we had the hard conversation.
I shared how it felt seeing her, a woman
I loved, embody a role that had once so
antagonized me. My emotions welled up,
and she met me at their peak. She leaned
forward and dove in. She’d only been
in the sorority a short time; she left the
semester following the party. She didn’t
know about the context of the party when
she chose to attend; it was just another
college event in her mind. She didn’t offer
her ignorance as an excuse. Just a fact—
she paired it with the facts of her remorse

16 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
THE FREE-SPIRITED
FRAGRANCE FOR WOMEN
LIFT TO EXPERIENCE
HER EAU DE TOILETTE
Her
Collection

LIFT TO EXPERIENCE
HER EAU DE PARFUM FREE-SPIRITED FRAGRANCES FOR MODERN WOMEN
AVAILABLE IN MACY’S, SEPHORA & ULTA
 P O P C U LT B o o k E xc e r pt

taking that step. It was a mistake. Rachael

got wind and was justifiably hurt and feel-
ing betrayed. “I know we’re not together right
now, but I thought we were building toward
something. You need to decide if that is
what you want or not. I won’t be just another
girl you’re talking to.” After that, there was
silence. More painful silence. She stormed
out of my life for the last time, I thought.
One weekend in April, I flew to Atlanta to
watch influencers punch each other. Triller,
the video-sharing social network, hosted a
boxing match and invited me to sit ringside
for the action. Working out in the hotel gym
the morning before the fight, I received a
pinging notification on my phone: “Rachael
Kirkconnell is now sharing her location with
you.” I was confused. We hadn’t spoken in two
long weeks. I checked her pin. She was two
blocks away. Was this some kind of cryptic
message? I didn’t want to miss an opportu-
nity to see her. I rushed over to her red dot on
the map and FaceTimed her when I arrived.
Turns out, she hadn’t meant to send the
notification at all; she didn’t even know I was
glued to the women I’d met. I wasn’t a prize, and they weren’t in Atlanta. She had just unblocked my contact, which triggered the
contestants. We could be honest now. More than one felt hurt by location sharing to return automatically—a crazy coincidence
how I had handled things. If they did, they told me clearly. They that felt fated. I asked if we could talk. She told me we had noth-
were frustrated, relieved, and plenty else. They presented their ing to talk about. I pleaded, coaxed, and convinced. She relented.
most authentic selves. I respected and appreciated the bluntness. We met in the parking garage in her car, far from the public eye.
Michelle Young and Katie Thurston became Bachelorettes that We talked for four hours in that car about all of the issues that
night. I mean this next part wholeheartedly: I wish them all noth- had kept us apart—her mistakes, my mistakes, insecurities, family
ing but the best. They deserve happiness, and I hope they find it. drama, public perception, and everything else under the sun. I
decided to be better going forward. She had done self-work that

I
returned a changed man as well, and one obvious I hadn’t reciprocated. I promised her that I was all in. It was the
change raised eyebrows. I sported a bushy, unruly beard best decision I could have made.
that I’ve kept ever since. Being the Bachelor came with We both are still adjusting to life after the show. The height of
pressures and discomforts that I wanted to stuff into the the public scrutiny has (hopefully) passed, but some elements
past. The beard felt like a symbol of my old life returning. of fame never quite settle into place. I miss wandering around
Out was the clean-cut Matt who felt he had to be Mr. America. New York aimlessly, following my nose into lunch spots. I miss
I could be myself again. the wonder I first felt at the city, the sense of its limitless heights.
Things felt strangest between Rachael and me. We hadn’t You see yourself enough times in unexpected paparazzi photos
seen each other since Georgia a month prior, but we’d talked a and begin to suspect you’re always being watched. I miss the
lot in the lead-up to the episode. As far as most of America was freedom of anonymity.
concerned, our relationship was still frozen in the blissful moment Would I do it all over again? I would. As crazy as life has
when I handed her the final rose, but so much had happened become, I like the man I am today. I know to thank the show for
since then. So the entire conversation between us felt like it was in some part of that. I changed. I grew. I learned about myself, my
service of the viewers rather than each other. We caught people past trauma, and my capacity for love. I learned my breaking
up. We remained noncommittal. We spoke in cold, curt sentences. point exists somewhere past the horizon. I learned to kiss with
GETTY IMAGES. COURTESY HACHETTE BOOK GROUP, INC.

But when the cameras shut off, we strode hand in hand back to the my eyes closed.
greenroom. We both still felt the spark. We took the rare oppor-
tunity to speak face-to-face and agreed to keep working on us.
I returned to bouncing around the country on a post-Bachelor MATT JAMES is an American television personality, philanthro-
pist, and entrepreneur who was the first Black Bachelor in the
tour. New York, L.A., Miami in a dizzying loop, with other cities
popular series’ 25-season history. Today, Matt continues to lead
sprinkled in between. Rachael and I still had plenty of work left to his nonprofit, ABC Food Tours, which has exposed thousands
do. There were many FaceTimes after “ATFR.” Nightly. For hours. of kids in low-income neighborhoods across New York to pro-
grams focused on health and wellness, financial literacy, and
There were uncertainty, understanding, and an ultimatum. I took
mentorship. He is also an investor, acting on the leading edge
advantage of our undefined, gray space and reconnected with of hydroponic farming and the cryptocurrency revolution.
former flings. I knew I had something special with Rachael and
From the book First Impressions, by Matt James. Copyright © 2022 by Matthew James.
thought we might soon come back together. I wanted to make Reprinted by permission of Worthy Publishing, a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.,
sure I didn’t still have lingering feelings for others I’d known before New York, NY. All rights reserved.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 17
 Back to the Year Magic Wands (Really) New Age Retinol These Boots Were
2000 Page 28 Page 32 Made For...
Give! Me! Range! Music’s Dream Bag All the Feels
Page 20 Page 38
Page 26 Page 30 Page 36

th e look

Welcome
to Peak
Y2K, It’s
Nice Here
*inserts Britney CD
into boom box*
B Y M E G A N U Y,
SAMI ROBERTS, AND
ANDREA ZENDEJAS
PHOTOGR APH BY
JEFFREY WESTBROOK
PROP STYLIST: MIAKO KATOH. FASHION STYLIST: ANDREA ZENDEJAS.
MODEL: NULU/NY MMG MODEL. MANICURE: SHIRLEY FOR SEE
MANAGEMENT.

Area top.
Agolde jeans.
Swarovski ring.

18
T H E LO O K Love T h i s fo r Yo u

B E AU T Y T R E N D

PRADA

Body
Zimmermann top,
Glitter
$695, zimmermann Your sheets are not
.com ready. (Your sheets will
never be ready.)

Poppy Lissiman
sunglasses, $135,
poppylissiman.com

Foundation Brush, $10,

ulta.com
Leliamae
anklet, $60,
leliamae.com

BLUMARINE
Unicorn Snot Bio
Glitter Gel, $15, unicorn
snot.com

SPREAD YOUR
WINGS, BB
You’ve seen
these beauts
flying high
everywhere (yet
again) from the
runways to your
socials. Now it’s CHANEL
PRADA: COURTESY. BLUMARINE AND CHANEL: GORUNWAY.COM.

time to sport
them from head NYX Professional
Musier Paris top,
to toe. Makeup Face and
$67, skirt, $96, Body Glitter, $6.50,
musier-paris.com nyxcosmetics.com
FA S H I O N T R E N D

YOUR TIME TO SHINE

Use a foundation brush

Emi Jay clip, $20,

emijay.com
Butterflies The only insect that could
to paint your chest and
upper arms in a layer of
gel glitter. Then, while
the gel is still tacky, use
your fingers to tap loose
make an outfit cuter. shimmer on top.

Dare you to scan for a fire

20 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2 getting-ready playlist:
T H E LO O K Love T h i s fo r Yo u

LAQUAN
SMITH

JLuxLabel bustier,
$62, jluxlabel.com
LaQuan Smith top,
$650, moda
operandi.com

With Jéan corset,

$209, withjean MIAOU
.com

Christopher John
Rogers bustier, $1,295,
net-a-porter.com

Staud top, $245,

staud.clothing Hansen & Gretel
YE OLDEN corset, $199, hansen
DAYS andgretel.com

of throwing it
back without
throwing it
*all* the way
back? Wear

pretation of
this historical
piece as you
please: over
ALEXANDER MCQUEEN AND MIAOU: COURTESY. LAQUAN SMITH: GORUNWAY.COM.

a frock, on its
own, or as a
ALEXANDER matching set.
MCQUEEN
Miaou top, $195,
16Arlington corset,
miaou.com
$573, matches
fashion.com

FA S H I O N T R E N D

Paris Georgia top,

$390, shop.paris
Bustiers
When the early aughts and yesteryear collab in I.Am.Gia corset,
$80, iamgia.com
georgiastore.com modern times, the results are magic.

22 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 B E AU T Y T R E N D

Chunky Highlights
Channeling the OG muses: Nicole Richie
and Paris Hilton circa 2003.

Your
At-Home
Color Kit

L’Oréal Paris EverPure

Sulfate-Free Glossing
In-Shower Acidic Glaze,
$13, lorealparisusa.com

OGX Blonde Enhance +

Purple Toning Drops,
$10, ulta.com
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: @CYNTHIAGLAM; @WANTALEXX; @WEEZYDIDIT;
@PRAVANA/@HAIRBYSHANNONMCKEW; BAUERGRIFFIN.COM.

Briogeo Don’t Despair,

Repair! MegaStrength+
Rice Water Protein +
Moisture Strengthen-
ing Treatment, $42,
THE NEW HAIR-COLOR RULES sephora.com
Ask your colorist for thick, face-framing highlights (bonus points for
playing with bright pops of color) and a shadow root. The subtle shading technique
will buy you more time between salon appointments.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 23
T H E LO O K Love T h i s fo r Yo u

C/MEO Collective
top, $180,
us.fashionbunker.com

VICTOR
GLEMAUD
Christopher Esber
dress, $760,
modaoperandi.com

PRABAL
GURUNG

Siedrés dress, $355,

modaoperandi.com
Off-White bag,
$1,360, farfetch
.com

PEEKABOO
Christina
Aguilera vibes
from back in
the day, meet
Sid Neigum top, 2022...and
$397, sidneigum
.com
Gen Zers who
love playing
with a nostal-
gic moment.
SIR dress,
Give the fiery $370, sirthe
detail even label.com
more oomph OTTOLINGER
by going ultra
bright.

FA S H I O N T R E N D

Anna Quan bra top,

$215, annaquan
.com

Cutouts
GORUNWAY.COM (3).

Heron Preston Your frisky side is begging you to serve a skin- Lorraine West Jewelry
jeans, $490, earrings, $592, lorraine
heronpreston.com baring look that’ll make heads turn. westjewelry.com

24 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 B E AU T Y T R E N D

Smudgy Black Liner

The truly devoted will pair with checkered Vans.

Back to
Black

Araceli Beauty
Ojos Perfectos Gel
Pencil Eyeliner in
Matte Black, $16,
aracelibeauty.com
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: @MELISSA.HERNANDEZ; @LAURAPOLKO; @ASH_KHOLM; BAUERGRIFFIN.COM; @KINGMALIMAGIC.

Milk Makeup Color

Chalk in Skateboard,
$18, milkmakeup.com

Maybelline New
York Colossal Curl
Bounce Mascara
in Very Black, $10,
EDGY EYES START HERE maybelline.com
Line your upper and lower lash lines with a gel pencil and then smudge them out
with a short, dense eyeshadow brush. For more intensity, layer black powder eyeshadow on
top and then pile on a long-wearing, volumizing mascara. The more coats the better.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 25
T H E LO O K Rev i ew

These Labels Have Extended Their

Sizing, but Do They Hit the Mark?
Because we all deserve to wear whatever trends we want to.
BY MAGG I E GRI SWO LD PH OTOGR APH S BY DAN I E L S PI LLE R

Wray Lululemon Abercrombie

10 out of 10 9 out of 10 8 out of 10

Size Range: XXS to 6XL Size Range: 0 to 20 Size Range: 000 to 24 and XXS to 3XL
Fit: Runs true to its size chart Fit: Runs true to its size chart Fit: Runs pretty true to its size chart—
Overall Experience: You really Overall Experience: Guys...I finally but some pieces are a little big
wouldn’t know that this brand didn’t get the obsession with Lululemon’s Overall Experience: I haven’t shopped
always carry extended sizes. buttery-soft activewear. And having at Abercrombie & Fitch since middle
E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g on the site is avail- it actually work on my body felt like school in 2007, when the vibes were,
able up to 6XL. I noticed that each gaining admission to a club I’d only um, definitely different. The clothes fit-
piece has its own size chart, so before witnessed from the outside. Not ting me in 2022 felt surreal. The quality
buying, make sure to note where your only were the leggings and joggers was better than I expected—like these
measurements fall and don’t assume ridiculously comfy, but the tanks (with items would last me years, not just one
fit based on other items. The trendy built-in bras!) actually held my D-cups season. Have to say, I wish there were
checkered lounge set I tried was in place while playing tennis too. All more available in the extended range
incredibly soft, with fabric that made that’s left is to expand to size 40 (and overall—only some jeans go up to size
it feel worth the price. Both pieces beyond, if we’re talking total inclusiv- 24, and most of the 2XL or 3XL options
fit perfectly oversized (the way they ity) and for the physical stores to are basics or special collabs. That said,
were intended). carry the full range as well. 13-year-old me would be thrilled.

Wray top and pants set, $189, wray.nyc. Arch mules, Lululemon tank, $58, joggers, $118, lulu Abercrombie & Fitch jacket, $89,
$160, archnyc.co. Telfar bag, $202, shop.telfar.net. lemon.com. Nike sneakers, $65, nike.com. dress, $69, abercrombie.com

26 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 Just call me the Sherlock Holmes of plus-size fashion: While the
internet is buzzing over a brand becoming more size inclusive
(a loaded and oft misapplied phrase), I’m out here doing the
detective work—and the outfit try-ons—to see if it’s legit. Because
sometimes, questionable fit, smaller overall selection, and low
in-store stock mean that even the labels that are trying don’t deliver
for the customers who need them. Let’s see how these latest six do.

Vince Christy Dawn Princess Polly

8 out of 10 7 out of 10 6 out of 10

Size Range: 00 to 24 and XXS to 3XL Size Range: XS to 3XL Size Range: 0 to 20
Fit: Runs a little big Fit: Runs true to its size chart Fit: Runs smaller than its size chart
Overall Experience: It’s rare to see Overall Experience: We love a sus- Overall Experience: I give Princess
extended sizes in higher-end brands, tainable fashion moment! Even though Polly major props for having a selec-
but Vince has taken the leap. Every- the fabric was thinner than I expected tion of actually trendy apparel in
thing I tried felt so luxurious—remind- (read: kinda see-through) for the price, extended sizes. It’s hard to find, espe-
ing me how a single outfit can instantly the dresses I tried were so comfortable cially at an affordable price point.
elevate your mood. (I’m still reminiscing and fit incredibly well, even in length. But the clothes just didn’t fit me like I
about the silky feeling of this set.) As someone who often needs her expected (too big in some areas, too
Because I’m 5'3", some things were clothes hemmed, this was refreshing. small in others) and the quality was
pretty long on me. Thankfully, that’s The cottagecore mood here is on point somewhat meh, although I expect
nothing a tailor can’t fix! Do I hope for and would look v cute on IG—even in that from faster fashion. Think: some
continued expansion (for folks above the middle of summer, thanks to the loose seams and fabric that didn’t
3XL) and that all clothes are available breathability factor. A little letdown: feel like it’d hold up in the wash. I’d
in the complete range? Obviously. But The styles available in the 1XL to 3XL suggest sizing up and cleaning items
Vince has definitely gained a new fan. range were somewhat limited. gently if you want to give ’em a try.

Christy Dawn dress, $328, similar styles at

Vince top, $345, pants, $295, mules, $295, christydawn.com. Rebecca Allen mules, $149, Princess Polly dress, $68,
vince.com. Amina Iris bag, $475, aminairis.com. similar styles at rebecca-allen.com. princesspolly.com

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 27
T H E LO O K T h e G OAT

The Greatest
Mascaras of All Time
All eyes on these lash-loving tubes.
BY J U LE E WI L SON PHOTOGR APH BY J E FFRE Y WE STB ROOK

2
4

PROP STYLIST: MIAKO KATOH.

1

28 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 1. THRIVE CAUSEMETICS
Doesn’t flake. Doesn’t
clump. Doesn’t smudge.
*Does* make teeny-weeny
lashes look long and lush.
Liquid Lash Extensions Mascara,
$24, thrivecausemetics.com

2. AMI COLÉ
This highly buildable,
volumizing pick is already
a classic—and it debuted
only a few months ago.
Lash-Amplifying Mascara,
$19, amicole.com

3. NARS COSMETICS
Create falsie-level lashes with
just two passes of this light-
weight formula. A third coat
will really blow your mind.
Swim, gym, or Climax Mascara, $25,
boo-hoo all narscosmetics.com
you want—it
stays put (for
4. MAYBELLINE NEW YORK
up to 24 hours).
The flexing brush head
and lengthening fibers
make a truly killer combo.
No wonder it’s TikTok famous.
5 Lash Sensational Sky High
Mascara, $13, ulta.com

5. LANCÔME
For a your-lashes-but-
better vibe, this is the
one. They’ll be feathery
soft and natural looking.
Lash Idôle Waterproof
Mascara, $27, lancome-usa.com

6. GRANDE COSMETICS
A peptide-infused must-
have. (You might as well
strengthen damaged
6 lashes while also looking
like an absolute knockout.)
GrandeMascara Waterproof
Conditioning Peptide Mascara,
$25, ulta.com

7. L’ORÉAL PARIS
The go-to for anyone who
has lashes that grow down
and wants to sweep them
way up. A miracle worker
for lower lashes as well.
Telescopic Original Waterproof
Lengthening Mascara, $11,
lorealparisusa.com

8. DIOR
7 The ultra-precise bristles
and a curved brush
ensure that every last lash
gets masterfully coated
and perfectly curled.
Diorshow Iconic Overcurl
Mascara, $29.50, dior.com

9. TOO FACED
It’s the best-selling
prestige mascara in the
country. *mic drop*
Better Than Sex Mascara,
$27, toofaced.com

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 29
T H E LO O K Up and Coming

Pretty Much Everyone Wants

a Brandon Blackwood Bag
From blowing up on social media to becoming a pop-star-
loved accessory mogul, the designer is having a moment.
BY MAGG I E GRI SWO LD

GO BOLD OR GO HOME
Category is: in-your-face Oh, this?
brights, patterns, shapes, and Just your
messaging. In other words, fave artists
they’re outfit makers. sporting
$220, brandonblackwood.com BB styles.

$200, brandon
blackwood.com

There’s no formula for creating an It Bag—

but Brandon Blackwood has managed to do
it several times over. First, a collection of “End
Systemic Racism” totes in solidarity with the
June 2020 Black Lives Matter protests. (The
initial drop sold out in a matter of hours.) From
there, he skyrocketed, gaining hundreds of
thousands of IG followers eager for more of
his classic but undeniably of-the-moment
pieces. Now, his colorful, luxe designs are the
arm candy of hitmakers like Doja Cat and
DOJA CAT AND MILIAN: BAUERGRIFFIN.COM. BLACKWOOD: AUSTIN QUINN.

Christina Milian (pictured above) as well as

Normani and Olivia Rodrigo, among others.
If you weren’t eyeing one already, shouldn’t
you be now?

$265, brandonblackwood.com

30 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
FEEL
WHAT’S
REAL
Real Full Volume. Real Passion Flower
Certified by the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew.
© 2022 The Procter & Gamble Company
T H E LO O K B re a kd ow n

THE
LIGHTWEIGHT
MVP
Hydrates like a
cream yet feels
like a serum. This
retinol evens out
your skin tone with
brightening niacin-
BUT WHY THOUGH? amide and soothing
Retinol is like a reset button for vitamin E.
your face—it speeds up cellular It Cosmetics Hello
turnover (aka your skin’s renewal Results Wrinkle-Reducing
Daily Retinol Serum-in-
process), resulting in brighter, Cream, $69, ulta.com
softer, clearer skin.

THE LAZY-
DOES-IT
The best retinol
is the one you’ll
actually use. Enter:
this balm stick,
which lets you
scribble your skin-
care over your face
like a coloring book.
Peace Out Retinol Face
Stick, $34, sephora.com

THE EYE
SMOOTHER
Two all-stars in one
eye cream: retinol
(duh) and glyc-
erin, which work
together to plump
fine lines as soon
as you dab it on,
then smooth ’em
out over time.
The Inkey List Reti-
nol Eye Cream, $10,

Retinol for sephora.com

Sensitive People! THE GENTLE

GIANT
First-timers, start
here. The mix
No burning, no flaking, no crying. of sunflower-seed
oil and shea but-
BY CH LOE M ETZGE R
ter in this truly mild
serum will keep
your skin calm and
flake-free.
As someone whose skin is made of with less risk of setting off surface irri- Versed Press Restart
angel whispers and kitten paws, I live tation.” That barrier also helps the Gentle Retinol Serum,
$22, versedskin.com
my life in fear of irritating products— retinol release into your skin slowly,
especially retinols. So when encap- “so you’re not dousing your cells with
sulated retinol began trending as a a big dose all at once.” It’s like sipping
gentler yet equally effective formula, a beer versus taking a shot—they’ll THE VERY LUXE
It’s pricey, yes, but
ARIS SIMMONS/ART PARTNER LICENSING.

I was very skeptical. But three months both get you there, but one’s gonna
so damn good. Reti-
(and zero rashes or redness) of testing hurt a lot less in the morning. nol, lactic acid, and
later, I can confirm the hype is real. Anyway, lucky for us paper-faced peptides do major
“Encapsulated” basically means— queens, encapsulated retinol is offi- work on bumps,
you know what, I’ll just let dermatolo- cially everywhere, so you can tiptoe lines, and clogged
gist Mona Gohara, MD, explain: “An in with a line-smoothing eye cream pores—all without
the irritation.
encapsulated retinol molecule has or go all out with a full face of resur-
Klur Sculpture + A
a protective barrier around it, so it facing serum. Options at right. The Overnight Retinol
can penetrate deeper into the skin choice is (finally) ours. Crème, $150, klur.co

Need some vibes for your

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MACY’S Chanel.com
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T H E LO O K Pe r s p e c t i ve

How Cancer Actually *Helped* My

Relationship With My Body
At 30, I finally feel beautiful.
BY S HAN N O N CU RY I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y A R U N A S K A C I N S K A S

I
sometimes think of my body as a garden. One that for most of my child-
hood and early adult years, I absolutely hated. No matter how many times
I attempted to cultivate and celebrate its beauty, I saw only its weeds: arms
too big, legs too slow. A body that didn’t look or move the way I wanted it to.

36 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 In high school and college, I tried harsh criticism that had held me back
to counteract the resentment I felt from loving myself for years, because I
by “getting healthy.” I wanted to be realized that my body—the very thing
smaller, thinner, leaner...to look like the I rejected, the very thing that was also
happy bodies I saw projected all around rejecting me—was also going to be the
me. But a misguided focus on losing thing that got me through this.
weight turned into disordered eating
and unhealthy exercise patterns—and
general misery. Trying to squeeze my
not size 0 body into a size 0 dress was
a regular occurrence. Skipping pool
After years of hiding inside
parties to avoid being in a bathing suit my head to avoid living
around classmates happened a lot. All
the while, I tried and tried to conform inside my body, I couldn’t
to beauty standards—and in doing so, I
became a master at fanning the flames decipher the signals.
of my own self-doubt and shame.
After graduation, anyone would
think I was flourishing: I was climbing Don’t get me wrong, my cancer was Shannon and
her support
the corporate ladder in the tech world; traumatic. I went through six rounds system during
my Instagram was full of photos of of chemo, lost all of my hair, and spent treatment.
me having all the fun with my friends. three weeks in the hospital without
But my relationship with my body still visitors in the middle of a pandemic.
sucked. Every time I looked at myself Some days, I couldn’t move. I had to just
in the mirror, I saw an impostor. My sit with my pain, a new and different
thoughts were a constant stream of version of the feeling I’d been avoiding
negative self-talk. Yes, I went to therapy. for years. But this time, there was a silver
But sleeping, eating well, and working lining: Being forced to stop fighting
out—read: anything that was supposed my body and start listening to it made
to provide physical or emotional nour- me realize that if I wanted to survive
ishment—just felt like one more task cancer—and to live my life with real
lingering at the bottom of my to-do list. purpose—I needed to recognize that
Then came the breaking point, the without my body, whatever it may look
summer of 2020. I was only 29, but I like, there is no life at all. I dug up that
started experiencing constant chest garden and started replanting.
pain and deep fatigue. After years of Now that I’m in remission, taking
hiding inside my head to avoid living care of both my mind and body fills
inside my body, I couldn’t begin to deci- my cup. Consulting with a nutritionist
pher the signals. I’d disconnected to the has helped me rewire beliefs I learned
point where I wasn’t able to tell if I was through toxic diet culture. Food is
just stressed out or truly sick. And so I energy that fuels my growth, not a
kept going, through a pneumonia diag- reward or punishment. Working out is
nosis and recovery, a string of nega- a privilege, not a chore. I’m grateful for
tive COVID-19 tests, and eight weeks of opportunities to move, dance, and build
back-and-forth with doctors trying to strength. Practicing breath work keeps
figure out what the hell was going on. By my mind-body connection strong, help-
the end, my chest pain was unbearable. ing me water these new seeds of self-love
I couldn’t move, laugh, or cry. When I and acceptance.
arrived at the hospital emergency room, I know it sounds strange, but as horri-
the doctors were still stumped. Until ble as getting cancer was, it brought me
they weren’t. It was lymphoma. Cancer. the opportunity I needed. When I look
What comes after a cancer diag- in the mirror, I’m proud of what I see. And
nosis? Shock? Fear? Devastation? Yes, it’s not because of how my body looks,
but that wasn’t all. When I got the news, but how it feels to live inside it.
clarity consumed me. Thinking about
death gave me an unexpected sense of SHANNON CURY is a cancer survivor, freelance writer,
freedom. I was finally able to release the and certified HypnoBreathwork coach. She lives in
feelings of unworthiness and my own Ocean City, New Jersey.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 37
T H E LO O K B i g Ac c e s s o r y E n e rg y

Brother
Vellies,
$1,195,
brother
vellies.com

Toral
Shoes,
$481,
toral-
shoes.com

ANDREA ZENDEJAS.
FASHION STYLIST:

Cowboy Boots Are Coming

38 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 R13,
$1,785,
r13denim
.com

Ranch
Road
Boots,
$698,
ranchroad
boots.com

Howdy, Gorgeous
No rodeo, no
problem. Step
out in the classic
Western design
that’s recently
reinvented itself
as a sophisti-
cated, any-outfit
look. You honestly
can’t go wrong:
Traditional and
modern takes are
equally chic.

for You Fashion says it’s time to giddyup.

BY M EGAN UY AN D AN DRE A ZE N DE JAS PHOTOGR APH BY J E FFREY WE STB ROOK

Scan for some tunes that’ll

go with your new look. ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 39
 Best Concert Snack Best Movie Snack Best Road Trip Snack
Page 40 Page 44 Page 46
Best Park Snack Best Airplane Snack
Page 42 Page 45

bites A
SN
ACK

W A R DS

The Annual
Cosmo Snack
Awards:
Portable Edition
2022 is (maybe?) the
year of leaving the house,
yet we’ve forgotten how
to nosh outside the glow
of the fridge. Thankfully,
that’s where purse
snacks enter the chat.
Here, the best ones. (Get
thee to Cosmopolitan
.com/2022SnackAwards
for more.)

PROP STYLIST: MARINA BEVILACQUA. SUSAN ALEXANDRA BAG, $325, SUSANALEXANDRA.COM.

BY TH E E D ITO RS
PHOTOGR APH S BY CH E L S I E CR AIG

BEST CONCERT SNACK

It’s four hours from the time you find your
seat till the show ends, and this new Boston
Creme flavor is the sugar rush you need to
stay standing through the encore.
Frosted Boston Creme Donut Pop-Tarts, $3 for 8

40 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
This Easter, put all your
eggs in one cheesecake.

SCAN HERE FOR OUR Easter Egg Cheesecake RECIPE ©2022 Kraft Foods
BITES S n a c k Awa rd s

BEST POPCORN BEST COOKIE SNACK BEST CHIP SNACK BEST SALTY SNACK
SNACK There’s no better way to Truffles belong on every- You could spend your
“Well, I guess I am now take your mind off *gestures thing, but consuming time tediously cracking
99 percent lightly sweet, broadly* than eating a said umami deliciousness pistachios and stashing
just-salty-enough kettle quintessential ’90s cookie. gets costly. Well, at least those shells in a gross
corn.” —you thriving out No matter how much has it did before this tote- pile, or you could rip
in the world after finish- changed in the past 30ish appropriate bag of truffle open this snack emer-
ing the perfectly snack- years, dipping crunchy potato chips existed. You’ll gency kit for some
sized bag of magical cookies in thick frosting is a never feel more chic eat- instant gratification. It
taste-bud entertainment timeless pursuit. ing chips from a handbag. has all the flavor of salt
SkinnyPop Sweet and Salty Dunkaroos Vanilla Cookies and Kettle Brand Krinkle Cut Truf- and vinegar chips with a
Kettle Corn, $4 Chocolate Frosting, $2 fle & Sea Salt Potato Chips, $3 nutty bonus.
Wonderful Pistachios No
Shells Sea Salt & Vinegar, $4
ACK
SN

A
WA R DS

BEST ORGANIC SNACK

Fruit and vitamin C. That’s
the entire ingredient
list for these juicy bites.
Each portable pink
pouch packs the same
satisfying chew you love
in a gummy sans weird
gelatin and other unpro-
nounceable things.
Solely Organic Mango and
Guava Whole Fruit Gummies,
$8 for 5

BEST PARK SNACK

Slightly larger, more
cracker-y, and a little
zesty, these next-
level Goldfish are
here to crash your
next outdoor group
hang or solo picnic.
Sure, the Sharp
Cheddar flavor
has classic appeal,
but these tangy
TL-180 BAG, $590, TL-180.COM.

munchies will keep

your mouth guessing.
Don’t be scared.
Is it even a They’re not that
picnic without spicy. Promise!
cheese and Goldfish Mega Bites Ched-
crackers? dar Jalapeño, $3

42 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
*GERMS THAT CAUSE BAD BREATH, PLAQUE AND GINGIVITIS.
© JOHNSON & JOHNSON CONSUMER INC. 2022
 BEST MOVIE SNACK
Take your seat in the
back, drop the plains
into your popcorn,
pass the peanut ones
to a friend, and hold
the peanut butter guys
in your hand until
they’re just a little
melty. Bon appétit.
M&Ms Classic Mix, $2

Cinematic
snacking at
its finest.

44 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 BITES S n a c k Awa rd s

BEST VEGAN SNACK BEST ICE CREAM SNACK BEST PROTEIN SNACK BEST SOUR SNACK
“Vegan cheese” has quite There’s no way to prepare Imagine a way less messy These little strips of
possibly the worst food thyself for this ice cream version of a charcuterie rainbow-hued bliss are
reputation of all the snack on a stick dipped in board—savory meat, equal parts fruity and sour,
food reputations. But two types of decadent Bel- white-cheddar cheese, making them the ultimate
don’t give up hope yet. gian chocolate and coated and tiny toasts—that pots o’ gold for any and all
These crispy corn kernels in chocolate cookie pieces. fits in your purse. And with sour-heads. A warning:
are dusted in yummy Just unwrap and go at it 16 grams of muscle-build- You’ll be in full pucker
plant-based flavor that wherever you are. The car? ing protein, its hanger- mode even as you reach
tastes like the real deal. The pool? The post-pool fighting powers are strong. back into the bag for “just
Can you believe? shower? Sure! Hillshire Snacking Genoa one more.” It’s fine.
Love Corn Cheezy, $20 for 20 Magnum Ice Cream Cookie Salami and Cheddar Cheese Rainbow Sour Strips, $4
Duet Bars, $5 for 3 Small Plates, $3

BEST DRINKABLE
SNACK
This refreshing
smoothie is blended
with a whole coconut,
which makes it sort of
like a bottled vacation
you can drink. Another
thing: You’ll cure your
hunger and thirst at
once—no extra charge.
Koia Smoothie Magic
Mango, $3

BEST PLANE
SNACK
These little spicy and
sweet bars take up
almost zero space in
your carry-on yet
they’ll fill you up
between flights, dur-
ing flights, and, let’s
be honest, as you
frantically pack at
FROM LEFT: BENEDETTA BRUZZICHES BAG, $985,
FWRD.COM; CLARE V. BAG, $145, CLAREV.COM.

the very last minute

for said flights.
Brave Good Kind Tender
Chicken Bars Hot Honey,
$26 for 9
ACK
SN

A
WA R DS

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 45
BITES S n a c k Awa rd s

ACK
SN

A
WA R DS

BEST HEALTHY
SNACK
Lower in sugar, higher in
protein, this gym-bag-
friendly plant-based
B e c ause snack will keep you full
trail mix
from kickboxing class
isn’t
just f or
through the “where’s
trails. dinner” group text right
up until the apps arrive
at the table. Praise be.
Justin’s Dark Chocolate
Chip Almond Butter Protein
Bar, $2

BEST PRETZEL SNACK BEST SALTY AND SWEET BEST FANCY SNACK BEST FRUITY SNACK
Bert and Ernie, Megan Fox SNACK You might think creamy Just when you thought
and Machine Gun Kelly, Watch your back, beef jerky. mozz is a thing only at there’s no way Skittles
pretzels and honey mus- There’s a new meaty snack your fave Italian restau- can get any better, these
tard. That last one is the in town...and it’s made rant, but nay. These fruit bombs drop. The
everlasting romance you from mushrooms. This one delicate little cheeses same flavors minus the
didn’t know you needed features savory and sweet can go anywhere and candy shell equals an
and will never get enough flavors plus a hint of spice taste just as good as they entirely different Skittles
of—ever. just for the hell of it. Please do with fresh cracked experience. Naked
Dot’s Pretzels Honey Mustard clap for the creativity. pepper service. Ciao. Skittles 5ever!
Seasoned Pretzel Twists, $10 Moku Mushroom Jerky Sweet & BelGioioso Fresh Mozzarella Skittles Original Gum-
for 12 Spicy, $7 Snacking Cheese, $4 for 6 mies, $2

Please enjoy this snacking

46 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2 appreciation playlist:
Important Facts About Can I use tampons or menstrual cups with Excessive pain or vaginal bleeding during placement
Kyleena? of Kyleena, pain or bleeding that gets worse after
Kyleena® (levonorgestrel-releasing Yes, tampons or menstrual cups may be used with placement, or not being able to feel the threads may
intrauterine system) 19.5 mg Kyleena. Change tampons or menstrual cups with happen with perforation. The risk of perforation is
care to avoid pulling the threads of Kyleena. If you increased if Kyleena is inserted while you are
Read this Patient Information carefully before you think you may have pulled Kyleena out of place, avoid breastfeeding, or if you have recently given birth.
decide if Kyleena is right for you. This information does intercourse or use back-up birth control. • Expulsion. Kyleena may come out by itself. This is
not take the place of talking with your gynecologist or called expulsion. Expulsion occurs in about 4 out of
other healthcare professional (HCP) who specializes What if I become pregnant while using Kyleena?
100 women. Excessive pain or vaginal bleeding during
in women’s health. If you have any questions about Call your HCP right away if you think you may be
placement of Kyleena, pain or bleeding that gets worse
Kyleena, ask your HCP. You should also learn about pregnant. If possible, also do a urine pregnancy test.
after placement, or not being able to feel the threads
other birth control methods to choose the one that is If you get pregnant while using Kyleena, you may have
may happen with expulsion. You may become pregnant
best for you. an ectopic pregnancy. This means that the pregnancy
if Kyleena comes out. If you think that Kyleena has come
is not in the uterus. Unusual vaginal bleeding or
out, avoid intercourse or use non-hormonal back-up
Kyleena does not protect against HIV infection (AIDS) abdominal pain may be a sign of ectopic pregnancy.
birth control (such as condoms or spermicide) and call
and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Ectopic pregnancy is a medical emergency that often your HCP. The risk of expulsion is increased with
INDICATION FOR KYLEENA requires surgery. Ectopic pregnancy can cause internal insertion right after delivery or second-trimester abortion.
Kyleena is a hormone-releasing intrauterine device bleeding, infertility, and even death.
Common side effects of Kyleena include:
(IUD) that prevents pregnancy for up to 5 years.
There are also risks if you get pregnant while using • Pain, bleeding or dizziness during and after
Who might use Kyleena? Kyleena and the pregnancy is in the uterus. Severe placement. If these symptoms do not stop 30 minutes
You might choose Kyleena if you: infection, miscarriage, premature delivery, and even death after placement, Kyleena may not have been placed
• want long-term birth control that provides a low can occur with pregnancies that continue with an IUD. correctly. Your HCP will examine you to see if Kyleena
chance of getting pregnant (less than 1 in 100) Because of this, your HCP may try to remove Kyleena, needs to be removed or replaced.
• want birth control that works continuously for up to even though removing it may cause a miscarriage. If • Changes in bleeding. You may have bleeding and
5 years Kyleena cannot be removed, talk with your HCP about spotting between menstrual periods, especially during
• want birth control that is reversible the benefits and risks of continuing the pregnancy and the first 3-6 months. Sometimes the bleeding is heavier
• want a birth control method that you do not need to possible effects of the hormone on your unborn baby. than usual at first. However, the bleeding usually
take daily becomes lighter than usual and may be irregular. Call
• are willing to use a birth control method that is If you continue your pregnancy, see your HCP regularly. your HCP if the bleeding remains heavier than usual or
placed in the uterus Call your HCP right away if you get flu-like symptoms, increases after it has been light for a while.
• want birth control that does not contain estrogen fever, chills, cramping, pain, bleeding, vaginal discharge, • Missed menstrual periods. About 12 out of 100
or fluid leaking from your vagina. These may be signs women stop having periods after 1 year of Kyleena use.
Do not use Kyleena if you: of infection. If you have any concerns that you may be pregnant
• are or might be pregnant; Kyleena cannot be used as
How will Kyleena change my periods? while using Kyleena, do a urine pregnancy test and call
an emergency contraceptive
For the first 3 to 6 months, your period may become your HCP. If you do not have a period for 6 weeks during
• have a serious pelvic infection called pelvic
irregular and the number of bleeding days may increase. Kyleena use, call your HCP. When Kyleena is removed,
inflammatory disease (PID) or have had PID in the
You may also have frequent spotting or light bleeding. your menstrual periods should return.
past unless you have had a normal pregnancy after
Some women have heavy bleeding during this time. • Cysts on the ovary. About 22 out of 100 women using
the infection went away
You may also have cramping during the first few weeks. Kyleena develop a cyst on the ovary. These cysts usually
• have an untreated genital infection now
After you have used Kyleena for a while, the number of disappear on their own in 2 to 3 months. However, cysts
• have had a serious pelvic infection in the past 3
bleeding and spotting days is likely to lessen. For some can cause pain and sometimes cysts will need surgery.
months after a pregnancy
• can get infections easily. For example, if you: women, periods will stop altogether. When Kyleena is Other common side effects for Kyleena include:
- have multiple sexual partners or your partner has removed, your menstrual periods should return. • inflammation or infection of the outer part of your
multiple sexual partners Is it safe to breastfeed while using Kyleena? vagina (vulvovaginitis)
- have problems with your immune system You may use Kyleena when you are breastfeeding. • abdomen or pelvic pain
- use or abuse intravenous drugs Kyleena is not likely to affect the quality or amount of your • headache or migraine
• have or suspect you might have cancer of the uterus breast milk or the health of your nursing baby. However, • acne or greasy skin
or cervix isolated cases of decreased milk production have been • painful periods
• have bleeding from the vagina that has not been reported. The risk of Kyleena going into the wall of the • sore or painful breasts
explained uterus (becoming embedded) or going through the wall These are not all of the possible side effects with
• have liver disease or a liver tumor of the uterus is increased if Kyleena is inserted while you Kyleena. For more information, ask your HCP.
• have breast cancer or any other cancer that is are breastfeeding.
sensitive to progestin (a female hormone), now or in Call your HCP for medical advice about side effects.
the past Will Kyleena interfere with sexual intercourse? You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.
• have an IUD in your uterus already You and your partner should not feel Kyleena during You may also report side effects to Bayer Healthcare
• have a condition of the uterus that changes the shape intercourse. Kyleena is placed in the uterus, not in the Pharmaceuticals at 1-888-842-2937.
of the uterine cavity, such as large fibroid tumors vagina. Sometimes your partner may feel the threads.
• are allergic to these ingredients: If this occurs, or if you or your partner experience After Kyleena has been placed, when should I call
- do not use Kyleena if you’re allergic to levonorgestrel, pain during sex, talk with your HCP. my HCP?
silicone, polyethylene, silver, silica, barium sulfate, If Kyleena is accidentally removed and you had vaginal
Can I have an MRI with Kyleena in place? intercourse within the preceding week, you may be at
polypropylene, or copper phthalocyanine Kyleena can be safely scanned with MRI only under risk of pregnancy, and you should talk to an HCP.
Before having Kyleena placed, tell your HCP about specific conditions. Before you have an MRI, tell
all of your medical conditions including if you: your HCP that you have Kyleena, an IUD, in place. Call your HCP if you have any concerns about Kyleena.
• have any of the conditions listed above Be sure to call if you:
What are the possible serious side effects of
• have had a heart attack Kyleena? • think you are pregnant
• have had a stroke • Ectopic pregnancy and intrauterine pregnancy • have pelvic pain, abdominal pain, or pain during sex
• were born with heart disease or have problems with risks. There are risks if you become pregnant while • have unusual vaginal discharge or genital sores
your heart valves using Kyleena (see “What if I become pregnant while • have unexplained fever, flu-like symptoms or chills
• have problems with blood clotting or take medicine using Kyleena?”). • might be exposed to STIs
to reduce clotting • Life-threatening infection. Life-threatening infection • are concerned that Kyleena may have been expelled
• have high blood pressure can occur within the first few days after Kyleena is (came out)
• recently had a baby or are breastfeeding placed. Call your HCP immediately if you develop • cannot feel Kyleena's threads
• have severe headaches or migraine headaches severe pain or fever shortly after Kyleena is placed. • develop very severe or migraine headaches
• have AIDS, HIV, or any other STI • Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Some IUD users • have yellowing of the skin or whites of the eyes.
Tell your HCP about all of the medicines you take, get a serious pelvic infection called PID. PID is usually These may be signs of liver problems.
including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, sexually transmitted. You have a higher chance of • have had a stroke or heart attack
vitamins, and herbal supplements. getting PID if you or your partner has sex with other • become HIV positive or your partner becomes HIV
partners. PID can cause serious problems such as positive
Should I check that Kyleena is in place? infertility, ectopic pregnancy or pelvic pain that does • have severe vaginal bleeding or bleeding that lasts a
Yes, you should check that Kyleena is in proper position not go away. PID is usually treated with antibiotics. long time or concerns you
by feeling the removal threads. It is a good habit to do More serious cases of PID may require surgery including
this 1 time a month. If you feel more than just the threads To learn more, talk about Kyleena with your HCP and
removal of the uterus (hysterectomy). In rare cases,
or if you cannot feel the threads, be sure to call your HCP see the FDA-approved Full Prescribing Information
infections that start as PID can even cause death.
and avoid intercourse or use non-hormonal back-up birth found on www.kyleena.com, or call 1-866-647-3646.
Tell your HCP right away if you have any of these signs
control, as Kyleena may not be in the right position and of PID: long-lasting or heavy bleeding, unusual vaginal
may not prevent pregnancy. discharge, low abdominal (stomach area) pain, painful
How soon after placement should I return to sex, chills, fever, genital lesions or sores.
my HCP? • Perforation. Kyleena may go into the wall of the uterus
Call your HCP if you have any questions or concerns (become embedded) or go through the wall of the
uterus. This is called perforation. If this occurs, Kyleena BAYER, the Bayer Cross
(see “After Kyleena has been placed, when should I call
may no longer prevent pregnancy. If perforation occurs, and Kyleena are registered
my HCP?”). Otherwise, you should return to your HCP
Kyleena may move outside the uterus and can cause trademarks of Bayer.
for a follow-up visit 4 to 6 weeks after Kyleena is placed
internal scarring, infection, or damage to other organs, © 2021 Bayer. Whippany,
to make sure that Kyleena is in the right position.
and you may need surgery to have Kyleena removed. NJ 07981 All rights reserved.
PP-KYL-US-1053-1 / July 2021
 Girl, Put Your Records On Your Life, Extra Crispy Flying Dogs
Page 49 Page 54 Page 60
Getaway Goals Healing Vibes
Page 50 Page 56

l i fe s t u f f
1

Wait,
When Did Record Players
Get So Cute?
How mid-century modern of you.
BY E LIZ AB ETH KI E FE R PH OTOGR APH S BY B ETH SACCA

48 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 L I F E ST U F F I t ’s a V i b e

Gives Good Vinyl

Are we surprised records are making Tower Records Experience Vinyl Dusty Groove Vinyl Me, Please
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ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 49
L I F E ST U F F We d d i n g Tra ve l T h a t ’s Wo r t h I t

Really Good IF YOUR MOOD IS

TRADITIONAL
CLASSIC...
Bachelorette Destinations
Based on Your Style
Weddings are for celebrating love, honeymoons are Charleston, South Carolina
for celebrating romahnce, but the bach? That’s for Its Southern hospitality,
you, friend. Let us translate your aesthetic into actual wedding-cake-like
party locations that understand the assignment. architecture, and proper
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Folly Beach, centuries-old
oak trees and cobblestone-
paved pathways guide you
to late-night punch bowls
at the Cocktail Club on
King Street. Book a suite
at Hotel Bennett for easy
access to its rosé-hued
champagne lounge.

Traverse City, Michigan

Another option: Start your
wedded wine collection
with curated bottles from
a sophisticated fete in the
vineyards of Michigan’s
Leelanau Peninsula. Take
a party bus or limousine
from Park Place Hotel in
Traverse City to private
vineyard-side tastings of
this up-and-coming wine
Take your region. Sip at 45 North
party on the Vineyard & Winery, eat
road...literally.
at FireFly Kitchen & Bars,
and hit the spa at Grand
Traverse Resort and Spa.

New York, New York

If you’re looking for
something way less casual,
get thee to The City. Shop
your way through the
boutiques of Greenwich
Village with Magnolia
Bakery cupcakes (or
banana pudding) in hand
before heading to Onieals
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Grand Street for Sex and

the City–themed cosmos.
Private terraces off
Arlo Midtown’s rooms
and suites are perfect for
1
serving flirtinis alfresco.

50 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
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IF YOU’RE GOING
FOR MODERN
BOHO...

Sedona, Arizona
Strap on those ankle
booties, pin down your
flower crown, and navigate
your way through the
healing vortexes and red
rock canyons of Sedona.
Pink Adventure Tours will
plan your (bumpy) guided
canyon adventure and
drop you off with plenty of
time for hydrating with Sex
in the Desert smoothies at
Local Juicery. Naturally,
you’ll want to end your day
with fireside cocktails at the
Wilde Resort and Spa.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
For a less outdoorsy but just
as free-spirited trip, get lost
in Philly’s many art-filled
alleyways. Shop artisan
jewelry and vintage wares
at Cherry Street Pier’s
waterfront market or book
an energy-healing session
at the crystal-infused Spa
at Four Seasons Hotel
Philadelphia before blissing
out beneath technicolored
fairy lights—cocktails
optional—in the seasonal
Spruce Street Harbor
Park’s hammock garden.

Mount Desert Island, Maine

Its salty sea air is ideal for
a wild and free weekend.
Whether you spend the
day hiking through Acadia
National Park or shopping
for sea-glass bangles
along the artsy boutiques
of Northeast Harbor, by
sunset you should have
a drink in hand on the
Claremont Hotel’s lawn
or a fire started near your
glamping tent at Terramor
Outdoor Resort.
 L I F E ST U F F We d d i n g Tra ve l T h a t ’s Wo r t h I t

IF YOU OBSESS
OVER COUNTRY
CHICNESS...

Dallas, Texas
Grab a six-pack of Ranch
Water and head to Dallas
for your girls’ weekend
away. Spend the morning
shopping at NorthPark
Center or lounging poolside
on Canvas Hotel’s chic
rooftop, followed by brunch
at XOXO Dining Room or
2 feasting on chips and queso
at Vidorra. Heads-up: Cold
beer and whiskey are the
only acceptable choices at
both Rodeo Bar and Mama
Tried Honky Tonk.

Jackson Hole, Wyoming

The mountains of Wyoming
are just rustic enough
1. Pink Adventure to handle your swanky
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Tours, Sedona, backcountry soiree. Swap

Arizona
2. 45 North Vine-
hot tubs for the Astoria Hot
yard & Winery, Springs and saddle up to
Lake Leelanau, the bar (literally: saddle!
Michigan barstools!) at Million Dollar
3. Hotel Bennett,
Cowboy Bar. Tossing back
Charleston, South
Carolina
drinks at Jackson Hole
4. Devil’s Kitchen at Rodeo most definitely
Hotel Maverick, counts as nightlife, as does
Grand Junction, sipping whiskeys in Turkish-
3
Colorado
cotton robes from your
Hotel Jackson suite.

Grand Junction, Colorado

If your destination must
include a vineyard, Grand
Junction puts the “country”
in wine country. After
exploring the canyons of
Little Book Cliffs Wild
Horse Area, relax with a
glass of wine at Two Rivers
Winery & Chateau or
Bin 707 Foodbar. Nights
are pretty chill in GJ, but
you can heat things up
with rooftop cocktails at
Hotel Maverick’s Devil’s
Kitchen or with cornhole
and craft brews at
4
Handlebar Tap House.

Need a DJ? Download

our ultimate bach playlist
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L I F E ST U F F M a ke a D e c i s i o n

Is This
What Burnout
Feels Like?
And what the hell do I even...do about that?
BY HAN NAH S MOTH E RS

How did you feel

when you came
Over the past couple of back from your last
START vacation?
years, have you taken on
Bummed,
It’s Sunday but mostly a caregiver role in addition
night, and fine! to your actual job?
you have work
Just the Recharged Okay, but
in the morning. usual total for sure. then over-
How’s your dread. whelmed
mood? Yep. No, again.
Stoked! thankfully.
Is that

This soothing playlist pairs well

54 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2 with your do-not-disturb setting:
 When you wake
Does work ever
up at 3 a.m., what’s on When you feel overwhelmed,
feel like an escape from
your mind? is there someone you lean on?
your home life?

Calls I ignored, I have to No, because I have

How Can’t say
a thing I said pee. everyone I a solid
did you I need an
to my boss last know is also support
know??? escape, really. C
week, my mom.... stressed. system.

Whatcha doing
this weekend?

Do you ever feel pressure How often do you

to do happy hour? consider throwing your phone
into a body of water?
Sleeping or a Laundry,
mountain of book club,
chores—haven’t pasta!
All the I don’t decided.
damn have to be Every. Day. Mondays only.
time. pressured!
A B

What’s your inbox like?

When is the last time
It’s Friday and you unplugged and rested?
your people want to
gather. Are you in?
One or two I can’t
unread mes- even talk
sages, but I’ll about it. Earlier I took What
get to ’em. this a day counts as
week. off last rest?
Of “I’m” “feeling” month.
course! “sick.” C A
B

A: Yes. Yes, it is. B: Not exactly, but it’s close. C: Nope! Definitely not.
It’s not an actual medical condi- So, stressful work stuff and/or home Are you teaching online courses?
tion, but burnout, caused by chronic stuff has you feeling like you need to Because I will enroll immediately.
stress, can make you feel lethargic, regroup, eh? Your burnout prevention Somehow, you made it through These
antisocial, irritable, or like it’s really plan: Spend time noodling on your pri- Times in a solid headspace, and we
hard to get out of bed. Powering orities (yours, not what your boss or should all clap for that. What’s likely
through will just prolong or worsen family or partner thinks you should prior- made all the difference are healthy
symptoms. The only cure is dealing itize), and list them out. If the word “rest” habits like prioritizing rest, trying to
with the root of the problem, ideally is not at the top, put it there (FYI, sitting avoid work-related stuff after hours,
with the help of a licensed therapist. on some grass, watching TV, or mind- taking time off to have fun or just chill,
As you work on that, try to get more lessly scrolling all count). Now, give the or being honest when your cal is too
ABDULLA ELMAZ.

sleep and give friends a heads-up full list a scan and ask yourself, Which full. Putting these behaviors in place
on your mental state and that you’re of these are missing from my life lately? now—and trusting that they’re worth
digging your way out of this rut. Then adjust your schedule accordingly. it—makes you close to indestructible.

SOURCES: CARLY BASSETT, A TEXAS-BASED LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER; MELISSA RUSSIANO, A CALIFORNIA-BASED LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 55
L I F E ST U F F I t ’s Pe r s o n a l

I
was lying on the sofa in my thera-
pist’s office staring up at the
ceiling. We’d discovered that I
was more likely to open up when
I wasn’t looking at her. It felt less
vulnerable. And for the first time in more
THE GUIDED PATH FROM TRAUMA TO PROFOUND FREEDOM AND INNER PEACE, BY GABRIELLE
THIS EXCERPT HAS BEEN ADAPTED AND REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM HAPPY DAYS:
than a decade of therapy, I started to

It Took Me 30 talk about feelings I’d never shared. I

BERNSTEIN. AVAILABLE WHEREVER BOOKS ARE SOLD. PHOTOGRAPH: JAKE WANGER.

told her that for my entire life, I’d had a

Years to Remember sense that I was being taken advantage

of. Then out of nowhere, I said, “Even
when I’m intimate.”

My Childhood Then she said words that would

change me forever: “The way you’re
describing your feelings sounds like

Sexual Abuse there may be a history of sexual abuse.”

I screamed as I leaped off the sofa. At
that moment, I remembered. An exiled
In an exclusive excerpt from her new memory that had impacted every area of
book Happy Days, best-selling author, my life. The memory that I was running
speaker, and, per Oprah Winfrey, “next- from: childhood sexual abuse.
I froze. My palms were sweaty. It
generation thought leader” Gabrielle felt like my soul had left my body. The
Bernstein shares the life-changing sounds in the room became so loud that
experience that taught her how to heal. I couldn’t focus. I went numb.

56 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2 If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673).
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L I F E ST U F F I t ’s Pe r s o n a l

We had only a few more minutes left in our We had only a few
session. This was one of those moments when
my therapist had to break the physical boundary more minutes. She
between patient and provider. She held me by the held me by the
shoulders, looked me in the eye, and said, “I will call shoulders, looked
you as soon as I’m out of session. You are not alone
in this. I am here.” me in the eye, and
I walked out of the lobby and into the crowded said, “You are
New York City streets. Overwhelmed, I rushed into not alone in this.”
a clothing store a few doors over and straight into a
dressing room. There I began to cry. Then I grabbed
my phone to call my friend Elisa, who worked and
specialized in trauma and addiction. I knew she
could help.
“Elisa, I remembered being sexually abused as a
child,” I said. She replied, “Gabby, I always suspected.”
For a moment, I felt a sense of relief. This is why I was
a drug addict. This is why I’m a workaholic. This is
why I’m terrified of true vulnerable connection.
The relief wore off fast though, and the moment cases of big-T trauma, dissociating during an inci-
I got home, I crawled under the covers and called dent means the memory of it can be “forgotten”
my therapist. “You have recovered a dissociated for decades only to be revealed through a trigger
memory,” she explained. or when someone becomes safe enough to recall
the memory.
It’s also common for people not to remember

D
ays later, I scheduled another phone events that take place right before or right after
session with my therapist. On the call, I the trauma occurs. A trauma victim may only have
lay in my bed paralyzed by fear. I felt like access to fragmented pieces of the experience.
a shell of myself. She asked, “Are there These fragmented memories can feel like flash-
any new memories surfacing for you?” backs or images on a movie screen that pop into
While I had recalled the memory into my conscious- consciousness at random. In my case, I had a visual
ness, I hadn’t recovered all the details. I wasn’t aware memory of where I was abused.
of exactly what happened or who abused me. And While dissociation can initially be a protective
as much as I wanted to believe that it wasn’t true, I’d mechanism, it can also become a source of harm
never had such a strong sense of knowing in my life. I to one’s emotional and physical well-being. Even
was absolutely sure that I had been abused. And now though a memory may be “lost,” it is still alive in the
that the door had been opened, I could no longer subconscious and can elicit emotions and reactions.
hide (even though part of me desperately wanted The smallest things can trigger implicit unconscious
to). Recovery was the only path I was willing to take. memories of an experience, sending one into a state
When I started to share my story with close of fight, flight, or freeze.
friends in my sober recovery groups, they responded A traumatized person doesn’t necessarily have a
with, “Me too.” I was blown away by the fact that so frame of reference for why they feel reactive in that
many women in sobriety had trauma stories. How way. I remember saying to my therapist, “Wouldn’t
NICOLETTE PASSARELLO. BOOK COVER: CHLOE CRESPI.

was it that we had never shared about what was it have just been easier if I hadn’t remembered my
likely a major contributor to our addictions? Why trauma?” She responded, “Your body remembers it
was it so buried? Why in the most intimate recovery every day of your life.”
rooms did no one speak about sexual abuse? It was It was helpful for me to understand the physi-
as if we’d tucked away the story in a box labeled “We ology behind why and how my body tried to keep
Don’t Go There.” me safe from overwhelming and terrifying child-
The brain has a number of ways to deal with trau- hood experiences. My brain’s ability to send me into
matic events, including trying to help you forget freeze mode during the abuse allowed me to dissoci-
about them. In the case of someone who cannot ate in the moment. The emotions would have been
fight or flee, they become frozen. The brain discon- far too overwhelming at such a young age. But the
nects from the present moment. This is known as memories never left my subconscious, and conse-
dissociation and is a common trauma response. In quently I could never really find a place of safety.

58 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
I
n retrospect, I can see how I spent every the trauma. All the work we’d done together, my
moment trying to feel safe. Unresolved sober recovery, my yoga and meditation training,
trauma symptoms haunted my waking my devoted spiritual practice, and my commitment
moments and my sleep. At night, I’d be on to serve helped me get to a place where I could
high alert. My jaw would clench, my body remember what happened in my childhood. I can
would stiffen, and I’d even wake up with pain in my see clearly now how there was a spiritual force of
wrists from sleeping with my hands in a fist. The love behind every step toward remembering and
trauma kept me from being able to truly connect every healing step beyond that day.
with others. It also caused me to suffer from many
physical conditions—gastrointestinal issues, insom-
GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN is a spiritual leader and host of the weekly
nia, back pain, TMJ, and so much more. podcast Dear Gabby, where she coaches listeners in real time. She has
My therapist helped me understand why it took written nine books, including The Universe Has Your Back, Judgment
me 30 years to become safe enough to remember Detox, Super Attractor, and her latest, Happy Days.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 59
L I F E ST U F F Pet Pa re nt i n g

Exactly How STEP 1

Find Your In
STEP 4
Pack for Two

to Get Your Dog Every airline has its

own rules, but most
allow pups at least
On most airlines,
a non-service dog
counts as a carry-

on a Flight 8 weeks old that

fit in an under-the-
seat-in-front-of-you
on or personal item.
So JFYI, your roller
bag might not also
If only good, good boys appreciated how carrier. Bigger dogs make it on board.
complicated this whole thing is. must be trained Whatever your
service animals to baggage situation,
BY KRI ST Y ALPE RT PHOTOGR APH BY RU B E N CHAMORRO board. Emotional make sure you have
support animals easy access to a
(different from ser- water bowl, treats,
vice ones) aren’t poop bags, emer-
exceptions to these gency pee pads,
rules, and dogs and maybe even
are typically not a soothing blanket
allowed in cargo. from home.

STEP 2 STEP 5
Do the Work Set Your Alarm,
That carrier? It Gather le Papers
needs to be airline- Plan to arrive at
approved (see the airport at least
our pick below). two hours early to
Oh, and check the get your fuzzball
Department of and their carrier
Agriculture’s APHIS confirmed at the
site to see if your check-in desk and
destination requires to present any doc-
any pet records. To uments before TSA
get a service animal time. It could help
ready, fill out the to first investigate
Service Animal Air online whether your
Transportation form airport has desig-
from the Depart- nated doggy bath-
ment of Transporta- rooms. Otherwise,
tion’s site to submit you’re ready to fly
to your airline. the furry skies!

STEP 3
Book It
WILD ONE
The key here (sorry) TRAVEL
is to stay flexible CARRIER
It’s like the
with flight times.
Comfort Plus of
Only a certain dog transpor-
number of pets are tation minus
allowed on a plane the free drink.
at once, so call— Unzip it between
yes, call—to buy flights for extra
pawroom.
your ticket as early
$125, wildone.com
as possible. You’ll
pay anywhere from
$50 to $225 extra
MODEL: @BALI.THE.POM

each way for your

pup, unless yours
is a service animal
(they fly for free).

60 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
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 Dating Is...Hard? Self-Reflection, if You Will
Page 63 Page 68
Vibing 2.0
Page 66

l ove s t u f f

62 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 LOV E ST U F F Fo r t h e Re c o rd

Chapter 1:

Back to the Single Life

In the first installment of our juicy new
dating diary, 29-year-old columnist Zara Field*
tries to push herself outside her comfort zone...to
varying degrees of success.
I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y T H E S C I S S O R H A N D S

THURSDAY, 4 P.M.
A notification pops up: “Am I still seeing you this say, “Can you believe babies come out of here?”
evening?” Relief. No. I can’t. Also, I plan on having a C-section, so
It’s move-in day at my new apartment back in this Rabbit is the closest thing my vagina will know
Manhattan. Yes, “return to office” is finally happen- to childbirth.
ing—and with it the end of my vagabond lifestyle. We’re already dangling between situationship
As the movers unload the last of my boxes, I sit and relationship, and I honestly don’t know which
with an uncomfortable realization: I already hate way I want it to go. Why, and I cannot stress this
living alone. An unbridled extrovert, I crave hav- enough, the fuck did I get a college minor in the
ing other people in close proximity, something I’d psychology of sex and relationships if not to make
gotten accustomed to over a decade of living with me superior at these kinds of decisions?
roommates. But for now...dinner!
Paul, the plastic surgeon I’ve been sort of seeing,
says he made a reservation at a Greek restaurant SUNDAY, 6 P.M.
on my block. It’s a good thing he picked somewhere “You don’t even like him. Let him go.” My tarot card
close, because I have plans to put his dexterous reader habitually tells me I’m making bad decisions
hands to good use afterward (by helping me secure in my love life. I tend to agree...and then barrel full
the fitted sheet to my bed). steam ahead on my previously charted path of self-
We met two months before I moved back to the destruction. It’s no different with Paul.
city. He’s hot in a pretty way. Like, very symmetrical This despite the fact that over the past decade,
features and Jimmy Neutron–esque swoopy hair. I have gone on somewhere between 200 and 300
He’s on the scrawnier side though, and I think his first dates, collecting unfathomable amounts of
calves are thinner than mine. I slept with him on our data across a diverse pool of prospects. CEOs,
second date to avoid another night on a friend’s very actors, pro athletes, lawyers, crypto specialists—
underfilled air mattress. And I’ve continued to sleep you name it, I’ve dated it. I’m like a truffle pig for red
with him on every visit to NYC since. flags, constantly sniffing out long-term incompat-
His background in medicine means he knows ibilities. Enthusiastic about giving oral? Nonnego-
the curves of my body almost as if he’d sculpted tiable. Someone who claps when the plane lands?
them himself. But his hyperanalytical, direct nature Deal breaker. My love language? It’s touch, but I’ve
also means he has an undeniable talent for ruin- started telling them it’s gifts.
ing my orgasms with poorly timed commentary. There are plenty of moments with Paul that ring
Like when I asked him to use a vibrator on me only baby alarm bells: the slightly-too-long lulls in conver-
to have him stare at my vagina with wonder and sation, certain frustratingly myopic viewpoints, his

*To protect the innocent (and the guilty?), her name is not
actually Zara Field. In fact, all names have been changed. ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 63
LOV E ST U F F Fo r t h e Re c o rd

distinct Long Island accent that hits my misophonia- camp counselor, call crisscross applesauce and
cursed ears just the wrong way. Google calls sukhasana. He sits across from me
But he also treats me incredibly well. Proactively and immediately begins to take off my shirt. I recip-
makes plans. Received the highly coveted Friend rocate and ask about the olive branch tattoo on
Stamp of Approval, an honor few have achieved. his stomach. He explains the symbolism of the tat-
And he’s the best dancer I’ve ever dated. He spins too, something about peace and hope and how it
and twirls me on the dance floor like he’s auditioning relates to his roots.
for Dancing With the Stars. I also really like sleeping Then we’re naked on his floor. I hate yoga. But
next to a warm body, sooo...for now, I’ll keep him. this I like. I climb on top of him, wrapping my legs
around his body. We rock slowly back and forth,
ONE MONTH LATER never breaking eye contact. We
Paul invites me and some friends to his house out- flow through sex poses in tandem.
side the city for a party. It’s intimate, slow, connected. I’m
I hadn’t considered the possibility that his entire following his lead. Does sex on a
family would be there. Yes, even his dying grand- yoga mat count as meditation? My
mother. It is an ambush. And one that I’m entirely soul is enlightened, but my knees
unprepared for, as indicated by my plunging neck- are paying the price. He carries
line and the $29 bottle of vodka sweating in my arms me to bed.
as a now-wholly-inappropriate host gift. I quickly scan the bedroom.
My anxiety is skyrocketing. I’m not ready to meet Why doesn’t he have curtains on
his parents. I’m not even sure I want to date him his windows? Odd. Never mind.
exclusively. Focus. He has my full attention. Sort
Being there, seeing the type of future we would of. Who doesn’t have curtains? He
have together...it’s clear that my tarot card reader picks up his pace, riding harder
is right. The micro-incompatibilities I’d downplayed and harder until he suddenly pulls
before now shine as brightly as the glass center- out and I feel warmth on my chest.
piece on his sweet little family’s dining table. I realize We take a quick shower, and I fall
I have tethered myself to Paul out of fear of loneli- asleep nuzzled into him.
ness, not out of potential for love. Damn.
THURSDAY, 6 A.M.
THE NEXT DAY The afterglow of the night comes
As tempted as I am by the idea of free Emsculpt and crashing down around me when he
Botox forever, I call Paul and end things. (Sacrific- abruptly wakes me up. I am many
ing a lifetime of filler in pursuit of more consistent things, but a morning person is
orgasms? Some might call me a martyr.) He handles not one of them. He keeps pulling
it gracefully. Classic, kind Paul. Did I make the wrong my hand toward him, trying to ini-
decision? He really is a gem. tiate another round. Half asleep, I
cocoon myself more tightly in his
TWO WEEKS LATER, WEDNESDAY, 12 P.M. cozy comforter, wedging a physical
I decide that in tandem with living alone for the barrier between us. My attempts
first time, I need to commit to being unpartnered to rebuff his touch are met with
for at least six months. No clinging to the safety surprising aggression. He is agi-
net of companionship as I navigate the transition tated and gives me an ultimatum:
back to the city. Have sex with him or get out of
his apartment so he can start his
ONE HOUR LATER day. He may as well have injected
I am swiping on Raya with abandon. Business mogul espresso straight into my veins.
with jet-black hair and olive-toned skin? Sign me up. I get up, gather my things, say
Drinks? Rooftop bar? Tonight? Done. goodbye, and hurry down the

LATER THAT NIGHT

We’re escorted to the back corner of a nearly
empty jazz lounge. We have our choice of seats:
an oblong love seat, two chairs facing each other,
or a bench. We end up sitting side by side on the
love seat. His hand is grazing my leg halfway
through his first old-fashioned. I’m like a
Our second drink arrives and he’s already whis-
pering in my ear, inviting me back to his place. This
truffle pig
is escalating faster than I expected.
There’s a yoga mat in the center of his living
for
room, and I sit on it in a position that I, a former red flags.
64 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
stairs. I don’t even fully secure my left shoe until I He apologizes, says he won’t do it again. But we
reach the street. both know the olive branch has been rescinded.
I walk a few blocks, inhaling the muggy city air,
and start to type: “Hey. I had a great time last night. SATURDAY, 2 P.M.
With anyone I’m dating, it’s super important to Back on Raya. I swipe on Ethan. Ethically non-
me that if I voice a boundary of not wanting to be monogamous? I’m intrigued.
touched, it’s honored. It’s difficult to continue seeing Ethan is an early-40something with either a six-
someone if I feel like that boundary’s been crossed.” or eight-pack, it’s hard to tell. Is it even fair for me to
Send. I inhale. It’s sad how quickly I can draft a ver- swipe on someone this fit? These days, I consider
sion of that text. walking from my bed to the kitchen table exercise.
It’s a match. This is the confidence boost I need
today. Or maybe I’m a catfish, using photos from a
time that I also had some perceptible ab definition.
Ethan surprises me. He’s down-to-earth, thought-
ful. He’s even giving me recommendations for my
trip to L.A. This is an actual excerpt from our conver-
sation. Ethan: “Did you make it to your flight today?”
Me: “I am getting on this flight whether my stomach
agrees or not. I might take a sleeping pill and then
accidentally shit my brains out but we shall see! It’ll
be an adventure.” Ethan: “Hahaha wishing best of
luck to you.”
Sometimes I think my allure to men is that I give
zero fucks what they think of me. To wit: After my
flight, Ethan asks me out, so we set a date to grab
dinner in Brooklyn. Then he hits me with it: “We can’t
wait to meet you. My girlfriend thinks you’re hot.” I go
back to his profile. Amid the alphabet soup of ENM
(ethically non-monogamous) and GGG (which I had
to Urban Dictionary and apparently means “good
giving game”) he’d listed, I had missed the unicorn
emoji, the signal that they were seeking a third.
Did I just accidentally commit to my first three-
some? Frankly, I’m surprised that I haven’t checked
off the obligatory 20s Threesome Experience yet.
Well, there was one failed attempt in Rome in 2015
that almost compromised a seven-year friendship...
but since then, it’s been at the top of my fuck-it list.
And this could be my first real experience with a
woman. I struggle to reconcile this disconnect in my
own sexuality, where despite being so open-minded
and adventurous, I have also clung firmly to the het-
erosexual space of a 0 on the Kinsey scale. To be
clear, I am actively trying to move up on that scale—I
would like to migrate to at least a 1.5 or 2. But at the
same time, what would I do with my hands?
“Just to set expectations, I’m totally new to this,” I
text. Ethan responds: “Don’t worry, enthusiasm goes
a long way.” Okay, Ethan. How about anxiety? Does
anxiety go a long way?

TWO WEEKS LATER

As an exercise in accountability, I tell some friends
that a threesome with a couple is on the table and
collect bets on whether they think I’ll go through with
it. In a shocking vote of no confidence, I receive 1 yes
to 13 nos. My Vegas odds are roughly the same as
Regé-Jean Page becoming the next James Bond: a
highly desirable yet low probability outcome.
Still. Ethan, his girlfriend, and I are set to meet for
a throuple date over plates of pasta and goblets of
wine. May the odds be ever in my favor.
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68 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 LOV E ST U F F G re a t i n B e d

GET IN
POSITION

Mirror Sex Doggy

Reflection

Might Just Be the Best Sex Lean over an

object (the sink,
your bed, a desk)
Give yourself the view of a lifetime. and have your
B Y R A C H E L VA R I N A partner pene-
trate you from
behind while
meeting eyes
Say you’d like to leave a casual hookup still fantasizing about you decades from now. You’ve come in the mirror,
to the right place. Say you’re looking to blow the mind of your longtime partner. You’ve come to the suggests Sparks.
right place. Say you’re just looking to cum. You’ve...yes, you get it, because here’s the secret: Anything You’ll want to
you can do without a mirror is suddenly ten times hotter in front of one. hold on for extra
Why? Well, aside from the obvious reasons (like you can pretend you live in Samantha Jones’s old stability.
apartment), mirror sex taps into your body’s reward center (i.e., the part of your brain that releases
feel-good chemicals) in a very specific way, says clinical sexologist Valerie Poppel, PhD. When you see Mirrored Oral
yourself both experiencing and expressing pleasure, your body releases dopamine that makes you
Have your part-
feel even better. “It’s like staring at your own porn,” says Poppel.
ner sit or stand
So, like we said. And the best part may be just how accessible all this is. You don’t have to buy any
with their side
extra accessories because, hi, there are mirrors basically everywhere. As long as you’re able to see
facing the mirror
your body move, the situation will take on Megan-Fox-and-Kourt-sharing-an-apple-level passion.
while you kneel
Keep reading to master this essential life skill.
to their hip level.
Lick and tease
between their
thighs while they
you can take your partner’s out while running your hands
PERFECTING hand and direct them to a full- over each other’s bodies.
watch, taking
THE ART OF THE length hallway mirror for some
the occasional
MIRROR BANG break to glance
standing action. Focus on Your Fave Features
at the action.
If your biggest question is Then switch
Set the Scene “Um, but where should I look?” places.
Changing your lighting is one try focusing on the parts you
Get Comfy (With Yourself) of the easiest ways to up the feel most confident about, Reflective
If you’re kind of nervous, try vibes, says erotic educator suggests Poppel. Maybe
Cowgirl
this as a solo activity first. Posi- Taylor Sparks. Try turning off that’s your hair and/or how
tion yourself in front of a mir- any overhead fixtures and hot it is watching it get pulled. Move a mirror to
ror, strip down to your favorite lighting some candles. This The key here is to just admire the side of your
bra and matching panties, isn’t about hiding your body. yourself and the way your bed and have
and simply soak in the sight. It’s about eliminating distrac- body responds to the plea- your partner
Try repeating positive affirma- tions...like the pile of laundry sure. Getting aroused by lie on their back
tions like “I am worthy of plea- you will absolutely put away seeing your boobs bounce is before you hop
sure” while you gaze. tomorrow. For sure. absolutely encouraged. on for some of
that hard-to-top
Choose Your Setting Mix It Up Or Better Yet, Look friction. For extra
at Your Partner credit: Poppel
The bedroom is, duh, your There’s way more to mirror
recommends
most obvious option. But don’t sex than just penetration, and Sure, you usually see some
having a ceiling
discount the bathroom, where Poppel suggests trying out of them in missionary, but
mirror profes-
(a) there’s likely a mirror and some different options to see now you can take in a new
sionally installed
(b) you likely have a counter what turns you on most. Dance perspective—like the way
so both partners
or sink to rest your hands in front of a mirror or give your their ass looks in the mirror
can look up and
TIFFANY ROUBERT.

or other body parts on (just partner a lap dance so they reflection. Even better:
admire the view.
make sure to clear your nasal can see your reflection from all locking eyes with them in
spray or tampons or what- angles, make out at your van- the mirror to watch just how
ever off said counter first). Or ity, or simply check each other much they’re enjoying it.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 69
 KACEY MUSGRAVES TAROT DECK.

70 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 THE 2022

MUSIC
IT LIST
Nine artists who are reinventing pop,
one record-breaking move at a time.
P H O T O G R A P H S B Y S AVA N N A R U E DY
FA S H I O N B Y C A S S I E A N D E R S O N
WORDS BY MADE LE I N E FR AN K RE EVES

LATTO
Age: 23 Most Popular Song:
Hometown: Atlanta, Georgia “Big Energy”
Why We’re Obsessed: Her Sound Is: Her Big “I’ve Made It” Moment:

She has 360+ million streams com- “Southern and raw with a catchy flow. I “Being the first solo female rapper
bined on both versions of her album feel like you can hear Gucci Mane’s Atlanta from Atlanta to go gold and
Queen of da Souf, and oh, yeah, don’t sound in me, then also Nicki Minaj’s influence then platinum. I couldn’t believe
forget about that “WAP” cameo. with the punch lines and confidence.” I actually made history in my city!”
 Kelsey Randall dress.
Maria Tash earring.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 73
 Louis Vuitton
jacket and ear-
rings. Lisa Michalik
grillz. Dorsey silver
necklace. Chrisha-
bana barbed-wire
choker. State Prop-
erty ring (index).
Sorellina ring (ring).

(AUDREY NUNA AND TAI VERDES) HAIR: LISA-MARIE POWELL FOR ART DEPARTMENT USING ORIBE. MAKEUP: DANA DELANEY AT THE WALL GROUP USING PAT MCGRATH LABS. MANICURE: CARLA KAY FOR CLOUTIER REMIX.
AUDREY
NUNA
Age: 22
Hometown:

PROPS: CATE KALUS. PRODUCTION: CRAWFORD & CO PRODUCTIONS. (PREVIOUS SPREAD, LATTO) HAIR: ASHANTI LATION. MAKEUP: DAVID RODRIGUEZ.
Manalapan,
New Jersey
Why We’re
Obsessed:
She’s on the Shang-
Chi soundtrack, so
she’s basically a
Marvel superhero.
Most Popular
Song:
“Damn Right”
Her Sound Is:
“My diary against
some weird beats.”
Her Favorite Lyric:
“‘I’m down by the
rocks / Life’s a
bank, try to pause
it (deposit),’ from
‘Blossom.’ It’s a
song about grow-
ing up.”
If She Weren’t
Making Music...
“I’d be an astro-
naut, film director,
lawyer, or teacher.
I feel like I’d be the
coolest teacher.”

74 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
TAI VERDES
Age: 26
Hometown:
Palos Verdes,
California and
Saint Charles,
Illinois
Why We’re
Obsessed:
Two years ago, he
was working at a
Verizon store. Now
he’s turned one
viral TikTok into
an already
iconic career.
Most Popular
Song:
“All of them.”
[Editor’s note:
“A-O-K” is a
must-listen.]
His Sound Is:
“Just what feels
good. Or any emo-
tion, really, but it
has to make you
feel something.”
His Big “I’ve Made
It” Moment:
“My first time per-
forming was at
Lollapalooza to
35,000 fans. But
big is relative.
None of it mat-
ters and we’re all
gonna die. I’m just
doing shit I like.”

Versace shirt. Sorellina

pearl beaded necklace.
Tarin Thomas ring.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 75
Dolce & Gabbana
jacket and bralette.
Chained by Sedona
headpiece.

RAVEENA
Age: 27
Hometown:
Queens, New York
and Stamford,
Connecticut

HAIR: LISA-MARIE POWELL FOR ART DEPARTMENT USING ORIBE. MAKEUP: DANA DELANEY AT THE WALL GROUP USING PAT MCGRATH LABS.
Why We’re
Obsessed:
Just google

MANICURE FOR RAVEENA: CARLA KAY FOR CLOUTIER REMIX. MANICURE FOR HUDDY: GEL NAIL STICKERS BY GLAMNETIC.
“Raveena +
NPR Tiny Desk
Concert.”
Most Popular
Song:
“If Only”
Her Sound Is:
“Ethereal, warm,
and sensual. I take
pop and R&B and
mix them with
sounds from other
genres, including
my cultural back-
ground of Indian
music.”
If She Weren’t
Making Music...
“I’d probably be
a Reiki healer
or a meditation
teacher. Or an art
director for music
videos or films.”
HUDDY
Age: 19
Hometown:
Stockton,
California
Why We’re
Obsessed:
It’s not (just) the
32.4 million TikTok
followers—it’s
the way his songs
transport you right
back to teendom.
Most Popular
Song:
“21st Century
Vampire”
His Sound Is:
“A meltdown in
songwriting form.
High school, my
relationships, my
friends, and the
L.A. lifestyle have
inspired a lot of it.”
His Favorite Lyric:
“‘You’re the gift
the devil sent me,’
from ‘Headlock,’
because it means
that I love you and
you love me but
we hurt each other
sometimes.”
People Would
Be Surprised to
Know...
“That I’m
insecure as fuck.”

Casablanca shirt.
Established bolo
necklace and ring.
Veert earrings.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 77
UPSAHL
Age: 23
Hometown:
Phoenix, Arizona
Why We’re
Obsessed:
She’s a classically
trained musician
who’s not afraid to
go full punk.
Most Popular
Song:
“Drugs”
Her Sound Is:
“Music that makes
you feel like a
badass.”

HAIR: LISA-MARIE POWELL FOR ART DEPARTMENT USING ORIBE. MAKEUP: DANA DELANEY AT
THE WALL GROUP USING PAT MCGRATH LABS. MANICURE: CARLA KAY FOR CLOUTIER REMIX.
Her Favorite Lyric:
“‘If you don’t
pass the vibe
check / Sorry
but you don’t get
the sushi,’ from
‘Last Supper.’”
The Icons Who
Inspire Her:
“I listened to a
lot of No Doubt,
Weezer, and Out-
kast. I still watch
Gwen Stefani’s live
shows on YouTube
when I’m getting
ready to per-
form. The ultimate Atelier Biser dress.
pre-game.” Sorellina ring.

78 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
MARK TUAN
Age: 28
Hometown:
Los Angeles,
California
Why We’re
Obsessed:
Before breaking out
on his own, he was
already crushing it
in South Korean boy
group Got7.
Most Popular Song:
“My Life”
His Sound Is:
“Still in the process
of being found, but
I would say I’m in
the pop genre. I’ve
never really gotten
to express myself in
the past as part of
my band, but with
this album, I wanted
to show fans my vul-
nerable side.”
If He Weren’t
Making Music...
“I think I would
probably be
streaming because
I enjoy playing
games and interact-
ing with others.”

Bode jacket and shirt.

Chrishabana for
Marcelo Burlon ring.
Veert flower earring.

Have yourself a listen to all

of your new faves. ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 79
FLO MILLI
Age: 22
Hometown:
Mobile, Alabama
Why We’re
Obsessed:
She’s been writing
music since she
was a literal child,
even forming an
all-girl rap group.
Most Popular
Song:
“In the Party”
Her Sound Is:
“Fun, charismatic,
mischievous, and
bratty.”
Her Big “I’ve Made
It” Moment:
“When my mix-
tape made it on
the Billboard 200.
I bought myself a
car to celebrate.”
Her Favorite Lyric:
“‘It took me a while
to come up out
my shell / At least
I could say I did
it with no help,’
from ‘Beef FloMix.’
It’s true.”

MAKEUP: CHRISTOPHER DIXON. (KIM PETRAS) HAIR: MELISSA DOMINGUEZ. MAKEUP: GILBERT SOLIZ.
FOR SHOPPING INFORMATION, GO TO COSMOPOLITAN.COM. (FLO MILLI) HAIR: KHALEA BELLE.

Giuseppe
di Morabito bustier
and cyclist pants.
Kenneth Jay
Lane choker.
 KIM PETRAS
Age: 29
Hometown:
Cologne, Germany
Why We’re
Obsessed:
She counts lowkey
bop queen Paris
Hilton as one of her
biggest fans and
collaborators.
Most Popular Song:
“Hillside Boys”
Her Sound Is:
“I have a lot of rave
and techno influ-
ence in my music,
even if it’s slight. But
then I got super into
pop, so I kind of fuse
the two. That’s my
formula.”
What’s Next
for Her:
“Right now? Going
to a hot yoga class.
In life, my focus is on
Coachella and mak-
ing that show great.
So probably yoga
and then thinking
about the millions of
things that need to
be done for that.”

Marshall
Columbia top.
Dorsey earrings.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 81
 Bella
Poarch
Broke
TikTok
And now, with her
upcoming EP, the
25-year-old pop
star is going to show
everybody why.
WORDS BY LI N DS EY WE B E R P H O T O G R A P H S B Y K A N YA I W A N A FA S H I O N B Y C A S S I E A N D E R S O N
 Halpern jumpsuit. Oscar
de la Renta necklace (in
hair). Rebecca de Ravenel
earrings. Manokhi gloves.
Bella Poarch is just getting over a case of COVID-19, but that’s
not what’s stressing her out. It’s this interview, actually. Bella, like
countless people around the world, has serious social anxiety.
Maybe, in a way, it’s good that she blew up—to the tune of 2 billion
Likes and 88 million followers on TikTok (she’s the platform’s third
most followed person), perhaps the stickiest debut song to come
from that app (“Build a Bitch,” which if you haven’t heard it, yes you
have), and now a Warner Records deal—in the middle of a global
pandemic. Because so far, she’s rarely had to be in 1:1 social situa-
tions. Or even in 1:1 Zoom situations, like the one we’re in right now.

There’s a lot, though, that sets Bella’s story apart from that It seems like sometimes when people don’t understand why
of the up-and-coming-and-feeling-pretty-anxious pop star. To something is popular, there can be this angry confusion—
start, she was born and raised in the Philippines, first by her like, I don’t get it, so it must be bad.
grandmother, then by adoptive parents. Eventually, the family I was like, Why are people sending me death threats? And it
moved to the U.S., where Bella graduated high school early and took me the whole day to make that one video. I have, like, over
quickly joined the Navy. After she finished boot camp, she got 100 drafts. I perfected this! At first, I only focused on the nega-
her first tattoo, a heart lock and key that has since given way tive part, and that taught me a lot.
to distinctive ink that covers much of her 5-foot-even frame.
Today, Bella is a force who extends well beyond the app You’re tough.
where she made her name: Her music video debut, with going on Yeah. I’m going to cry about it, but I still got this. People are
400 million views, was YouTube’s single biggest debut ever. And like, “You don’t look like you can fuck someone up.” I can, actu-
this year, the so far online-only megastar is hitting the physical ally. When I was in the military, my friends and I decided to go
world: Her new EP comes out this spring, with her first live perfor- to a bar inside the base. I wasn’t drinking that night. I was sit-
mances to follow. For all her shyness, if the aforementioned video ting by the bar just chilling when a marine came up to me and
is any indication—what with its cameos from famous TikTok started making fun of how little I am. Then he picked me up like
pals, decapitated singing doll heads on a conveyor belt, spooky a child and wouldn’t put me down. So I decided to punch him
choreography, and pit of CGI fire—it’s going to be a wild ride. in his mouth.

What inspired you to start posting on TikTok? Whoa.

I got out of the military and it was quarantine and everybody And he fell because I punched him really hard and I kept punch-
was bored. My friends kept sending me TikTok videos. I started ing. I almost got in trouble because I guess the guy lost his front
falling in love with the app. Like, it’s addictive. The first TikTok teeth. I actually have a scar from it.2 It’s funny because in the
I posted was actually of me singing a song by Ariana Grande. military, I didn’t really talk at all. I just listened and did my job.
It got 100 views in 24 hours. Now I just want to put it all out there. There’s a lot more about
myself that I haven’t really told a lot of people. I just need the
That’s not bad! confidence to speak up.
But I was like, Oh, I didn’t go viral. Like, silly me, thinking I was
going to go viral on my first video. So I deleted it. I didn’t feel like You have a few alter egos—Baddie Bella, Kawaii Bella,
people liked to hear me sing. Then I realized a lot of people were Belinda Marie, right?
getting into video games because they were stuck at home. So I definitely do. Like, right now, I’m in my sweats and I’m just Bella.
I started putting out video game content. Once I started being But when it’s time for me to perform, when I shoot music videos
more myself, showing my silly side, that’s when people started or when I’m in the studio, I’m a completely different person. When
liking me more. I wear badass clothes, I go by Baddie Bella. I love anime; it
inspires me. I love Hatsune Miku—I used to watch her all the
Your original claim to fame was that Face Zoom1 though. time. She’s a Vocaloid. I don’t know if you know what that means...
You know, the last time the app made me cry was from the neg- she’s basically not real but she’s also a pop star.
ative comments on that. People were saying mean, random
things—“she looks so stupid”—and it broke my heart because
I’m just trying to express myself and have fun. When people ask 1. A TikTok feature that makes the camera zoom in very close to, yes, your face.
(Bella uses it to create uncanny lip syncs timed to her movements.)
me, “Do you cringe when you watch your viral TikTok?” I’m like, 2. Bella holds up both of her fists to the camera, and sure enough, there is the
“No, I’m proud of that because it’s where I started.” slight scar.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 85
THIS PAGE: Rochas
top and skirt. Casadei
heels. Cornelia
James gloves. Patricia
Von Musulin bracelet.
OPPOSITE PAGE:
Cong Tri gown. GCDS
heels. Patricia Von
Musulin earrings and
bracelets (top and
middle). Lizzie Fortu-
nato bracelet (bottom).
“A lot of people say the
military is like jail.
It’s so strict. But honestly,
I felt freedom.”

So, the alter egos help. How has it felt to move to L.A. after
growing up in such a different place?
I still don’t really like talking about myself, but I want to let
people know how I started, what my story is, because I want
them to know that I didn’t just come out of TikTok and start
making music.3 This is the first time I’m in a huge place and I
got it all myself. I don’t really go out. I do like the weather right
now. It’s really gloomy. I love rainy days, not because it’s cold or
whatever but because it reminds me of back when I was a kid.

How so?
I grew up on a farm, and when it was rainy, we would put rain-
coats on our goats and our cows. Our neighbors used to think
we were crazy. I eventually want to get a farm; I want to take
care of alpacas.4 I like alpacas better than llamas because lla-
mas are...I don’t know! Alpacas can be by themselves. They’re
independent and I see myself in them. In the Philippines, I took
care of sheep, goats, cows, chickens, and we had over 20 dogs
and cats. It was hard. When I was 14, we moved to America
and I went to school in Fresno, California. I graduated when I
was 16, but I was scared to go to college. And I wasn’t allowed
to really do what I wanted. My parents controlled everything. I
didn’t want that for the rest of my life. So I joined the military. My
brother was in the Navy, which motivated me. I was really close
with him. When I was 7, he heard me singing and was like, “You
know you can sing, right?” That’s how I found out. We always
worked together too. In the Philippines, there were really no
lawn mowers, so we had to cut the grass by hand. We’d do that
and talk about life. I feel like that’s what got us closer. He’s still
in the military, stationed in San Diego.

Was being in the Navy what you expected?

A lot of people say the military is like jail. It’s so strict. But hon-
estly, I felt freedom. I went to the mall; I went out on the week-
ends; I joined the Navy choir. I was singing! And when I was
stationed in Japan, there were a lot of karaoke places around
our military base. So I would always be there with my friends,
singing every weekend.

3. Bella doesn’t often speak in detail about her past, but she has said that
she suffered long-term abuse.
4. Bella has a stuffed alpaca named Paca (175,000 Instagram followers) that not
only costars in her videos but also had its own merch deal. Her (real) dog Poopoo
and cat Peepee have 95,000 Instagram followers.

88 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 Monosuit one-
piece. Elissa Poppy
bra and pants.
Patricia Von
Musulin earrings.
Alexis Bittar black
bangle. Dinosaur
Designs black-and-
white bangle.
Miscreants dress
and gloves.
 What did you sing? Blanco.6 They were in his studio and I decided to go. We might
“Listen,” by Beyoncé. have a song together. She always recommends books to me.
She was like, “You should read this book. It’s called Life 3.0.”7
Oh my god. Impressive. I would’ve never thought I would read about AI, but I did.
If I really wanted to just wow people, I would sing that. I want
to make songs that make women feel powerful and confident. Well, Grimes told you to read it. You have to read it.
Basically songs that say, “I might be pretty, I might be cute and She’s the coolest. One day she’s just like, you know what, let’s go
sweet, but if you fuck with me, you’re going to get fucked up.” jousting. Or you know what, we should go take a falconry class.
And then next thing you know, we’re doing an NFT.8
Speaking of perceptions, when people first saw you online,
they thought you were much younger than you are. Who else inspires you?
Everyone was so confused because back when I was just I haven’t met her yet, but Doja Cat. And Melanie Martinez. Also
uploading Face Zoom videos, only my face showed. Then they’d Lea Salonga, who is a Filipino singer. She was the voice on “Reflec-
go to my Instagram and I’m wearing a bikini and I have my tat- tion,” a song I grew up with that inspired me to sing. I want to tell
toos out.5 They were like, “This can’t be the same person?” I like her, “I’m literally your song.” The thing about Filipinos is if they find
that. It makes people think, Who is she? out that you are Filipino, they will support you because you’re
representing the country. When I found out that Olivia Rodrigo
Are there stories behind all your tattoos? was Filipino, I was so proud.
I have scars from my childhood and I wanted to cover them up.
I didn’t know anything about scar removal, so I felt like tattoos When was the last time you were in the Philippines?
were the only way. I also wanted to be a rebel because my par- Almost 10 years ago. I really want to go home. I wouldn’t specifi-
ents hate tattoos. cally go back to my childhood house, but the Philippines is truly
my home. I didn’t have the opportunity to travel and learn about
Which one is the most meaningful to you? the country when I was growing up. I think the beach was three
The wings on my back, with a boat in the middle. It’s me in the miles away from our house, but I wasn’t ever allowed to go. I think
military. I was an airman. I took care of helicopters on an aircraft I’m going to be really emotional when I go.
carrier. I was the last person to touch the helicopter before the
pilots took off. So if it had engine damage or anything, it would You’re already manifesting it. Because you believe in mani-
be my responsibility. The ship symbolizes me going on deploy- festation, right?
ment. I’m just in the middle of the ocean; at night, everything is I learned about it on TikTok. The first video on my FYP9 was basi-
so dark, but when you look up at the sky, it’s just beautiful. You cally a person saying, “You should start manifesting today. You
see all the stars. should put down three things on a piece of paper.” So I put three
things on a piece of paper. And that’s where I started! One of
Wow. What’s something else true about you that nobody those things was that I wanted to go viral on TikTok.
knows yet?
I like pickles. If I could show you right now how many pickles I Do you still manifest today?
have in my kitchen...you would not believe it. Yeah, every day. And I realize now, even when I was younger, I
was actually already manifesting. When I was doing chores
Uh, can you show me? around the farm, like picking up cow shit, I would always imagine
[Bella turns the camera to face a truly unbelievable amount of myself in American classrooms. It works. You just have to believe
jarred pickles on the counter—dill, sweet, sour, gherkins, maybe that it’s going to happen.
also kosher.] And then I have more in the fridge, of course.
FOR SHOPPING INFORMATION, GO TO COSMOPOLITAN.COM.

That’s just for you?

5. One of Bella’s few controversies (what would social media stardom be without
It’s just for me. People ask why I have so many pickles and I’m like, controversy?) involves her tats. Korean fans spotted one on her arm that had simi-
“I don’t know. Why can’t I have so many pickles?” I like to keep larities to the Japanese war flag, and they called her out. She apologized, had it
myself healthy, so I try not to eat more than one jar a day. covered up with a two-headed snake, and tweeted: “Please educate yourselves
and learn more about it because it came from a terrible history. It is very offensive
to a lot of people. Please learn from my mistake.”
What other hobbies do you have? 6. He’s part of a crew of TikTok-obsessed pop stars and producers you may
I love art. I don’t paint, but I do oil pastels. I do karaoke. I also love already know, including Doja Cat, Lizzo, Jason Derulo, Meghan Trainor, and
the Jonas Brothers.
to game. I still have friends who live in Japan because they’re
7. Life 3.0: Being Human in the Age of Artificial Intelligence is exactly the kind
stationed there, and gaming is the only time for me to hang out of book you’d think Grimes would recommend.
with them. I have some really great friends. I have Grimes. 8. TikTok planned to do a “first drop” of NFTs with a few artists, including Bella and
Grimes. But the rollout was bungled and the drop never happened.
9. Currently on Bella’s For You Page: “a lot of cat videos,” because she loves
Like, the Grimes? cats, “and a lot of food videos,” because she just got an air fryer and the
She’s one of my closest friends. I met her through Benny algorithm knows it.

It only took these two songs

to make Bella famous. ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 91
Norma Kamali catsuit. Casadei
heels. Patricia Von Musulin earrings
and ring (right). Lizzie Fortunato
cuffs (brown and periwinkle).
Dinosaur Designs bangles (black
and white) and ring (left).

Hair: Donovan Domingo-Pa. Makeup:

Jose Corella using Dior Forever Skin
Glow Foundation. Manicure: Yoko
Sakakura for A-Frame Agency. Fashion
assistant: Pierrette Abegg. Props: Bette
Adams for MHS Artists. Production:
Crawford & Co Productions.
ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 93
Rochas top. Naked
Cashmere shorts.
GCDS heels.
Lauren Perrin gloves.
Versace gown. Cuup briefs. Stuart
Weitzman heels. Tiffany & Co. Elsa
Peretti earrings and cuff. Vhernier
ring. Salvatore Ferragamo bag.
 Musicians
Have
Officially
Taken Over
the Beauty
Space
Suddenly your Spotify playlist
and your Sephora shopping
cart look...a lot...alike.
WORDS BY L AU RE N BAL SAMO
P H O T O G R A P H S B Y C O DY G U I L F OY L E

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By Hayley Williams

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This line of semi-
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Semi-Permanent Hair
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94
 Eilish
By Billie Eilish

When the singer

launched her
namesake scent
in November, it
sold out in literal
minutes. No sur-
prise—just look
at this bottle!
Eilish Eau de
proof. Parfum, $68

Pleasing
By Harry Styles

The newest must-

try from Harry
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It’s packed with
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The Acids Drops, $35

Un/dn Laqr
By Machine Gun Kelly

The inky black shade

in the middle? That’s
Depressionist (just
keep reading). The pol-
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eye-catching chrome.
Depressionist, $18; Orion
Chrome, $20
 L et’s rewind to last November:
Machine Gun Kelly wins Favor-
ite Rock Artist at the American
Music Awards, then posts a
series of pics showcasing his
black-accented nail art. At the
time, it sort of seemed like...noth-
ing much; MGK is known for his
nail art. But it turns out this was literally his nail art,
from his soon-to-be-launched polish brand Un/dn
Laqr. And when the line dropped a few weeks later,
that same black shade, Depressionist, became an
instant best seller.
Welcome, everyone, to celebrities doing beauty in
2022. More and more of them are moving past merely
promoting brands and instead founding their own. In a
world where authenticity is social currency, being able
to creative-direct their own lines is a near-guaranteed
way to develop a deeper connection with consumers.
popular brands like Morphe and Playa. RiRi’s products
are meticulously tested by the R&D team at LVMH.
The list of highly credentialed experts and industry
powerhouses backing these brands goes on and on.
Then again, a lot of these artists are genuine
beauty pros in their own right. Take Becky G, who told
me that after she signed a record deal and became
the opening act on tours, she also became an expert
at doing her own glam. “As a creative person, makeup
is one of my favorite forms of self-expression. And that
love brought me full circle to creating my own beauty
brand,” she says. And what about singers like Jennifer
Lopez and Selena Gomez? If you spend hours each
week in a derm office or makeup chair—if your liveli-
hood depends, in part, on how you present yourself
to the world—it’s safe to say you know a thing or two
about what makes a good product. It’s no wonder JLo
Beauty and Rare Beauty are among the most popular
brands at Sephora.
It also gives them a major slice of the $500 billion As a beauty editor who sees and tries it all, I can
beauty industry. vouch for these brands. I nominated Humanrace for
Of all the celebs who’ve launched beauty brands Cosmo’s 2021 Beauty Awards. I’ve been a Rare Beauty
in the past few years, musicians seem to be having mascara fan since day one. I recommend Fenty’s foun-
the most success. Rihanna’s Fenty Beauty is worth an dation to anyone who’s
estimated $2.8 billion; Lady Gaga’s Haus Laborato- still searching for their
ries liquid eyeliner was one of the top beauty products perfect shade match. But
sold on Amazon worldwide on Black Friday last year. I’ll admit that part of me These celebs
In many ways, these mind-blowing stats make sense: has always wondered, turned beauty
Unlike “regular” beauty brands that need to grow Why this? Why more?
their customer bases from scratch, these have built-in Isn’t music enough? As entrepreneurs
buyers in the form of gigantic preexisting fandoms. Alicia Keys told me, it’s are being held
(See: Rihanna’s 122 million Instagram followers, Lady not only about making to a higher
Gaga’s 84 million Twitter followers.) more money or taking
Of course, this doesn’t mean these musicians up more space. For her, standard.
can automatically sell just any product—their fans it’s about building a
are paying close attention. Along with that desire community that pushes
for authenticity, shoppers are more educated about us to look at beauty through different lenses. “It’s a
ingredients and formulations than ever before, and destination where every soul can experience moments
they want only the good stuff. Throw the “wrong” of self-love and acceptance, guilt-free, so we can all
ingredient into a skincare line and people will make be our most brilliant,” she says of her brand.
sure you know it (lest you had forgotten Kylie Jenner’s From what I’ve seen, that destination is here to
walnut scrub fiasco). Fake your skincare routine in a stay, unlike many beauty trends that spike and fizzle.
PROP STYLIST: CHELSEA VOLPE FOR HONEY ARTISTS.

promo video on IG and the internet will come for you Humanrace and Halsey’s About-Face have recently
(yes, even if you’re Millie Bobby Brown). expanded into the body category (About-Face is
In fact, because of their fame, these celebs turned also on track to triple its revenue in its second year,
beauty entrepreneurs are being held to a higher stan- FYI). Searches for JLo Beauty have increased more
dard, which is likely why many have teamed up with than 5,000 percent in the past 12 months. Even John
some of the brightest brains in the beauty biz. Pharrell Legend has plans to throw his hat in the ring—he’s
developed Humanrace with his longtime dermatolo- reportedly launching an affordable skincare line for
gist Elena Jones, MD. Every skincare product in Alicia melanin-rich skin sometime in 2022.
Keys’s Soulcare line is fully vetted by dermatologist So, hey, Beyoncé, if you’re reading this, can we
Renée Snyder, MD. Ariana Grande’s R.E.M. Beauty have Beyhive Beauty next? I guarantee you it’ll make
was created with Forma, the beauty incubator behind a killing.

96 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 Humanrace
By Pharrell Williams
Sustainable and
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exfoliator, and a
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Keys
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This soothing
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Golden Cleanser With
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Fenty
Beauty +
Fenty Skin
By Rihanna

One of these
foundations is sold
every four minutes.
And the toner? I can
confirm it’s a skin-
softening miracle.
Pro Filt’r Soft Matte
Longwear Foundation,
$38; Fat Water
Pore-Refining Toner
Serum, $30
About-Face
By Halsey
If you follow Halsey
on IG, then you’ve
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sparkly eye paints
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have a mousse-like
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Fractal Glitter Eye
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Like all the other
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Intenso Liners, $12 each
R.E.M. Beauty
By Ariana Grande

You know Rare Beauty JLo Beauty

that futuristic, By Jennifer Lopez
By Selena Gomez
otherworldly glam
Ariana Grande is This firming serum
A few swipes of this
known for? This (and some help
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collection of matte from her glam
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and shimmery squad, of course)
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Midnight Shadows and because it’s
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To the surprise of no
one, these stars
make some *epic*
makeup.

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 99
 Rosie.
Dani.

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains graphic details

100 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2 of abusive grooming, sexual assault, and violence.
 Gina.
Sage. Four dancers, all plaintiffs in a bombshell
sexual abuse lawsuit against a charismatic teacher
and his world-famous ballerina wife, speak out
together for the first time.
BY E LIZ AB ETH KI E FE R
 t went like this: A teacher would insinuate himself into

I
a circle of young women. Train his attention on one in
particular. Find reasons to touch her, spend time with
her, get her alone. Cross boundaries, with devastating
consequences. And because the women were manip-
ulated, threatened, isolated, and ashamed, they didn’t
talk about what happened. They didn’t know there
were others. Until they did. And they filed a lawsuit.
The man is Mitchell Taylor Button, a former dance instruc-
tor known to his students as Taylor. He’s the husband of Dusty
Button, who was a prima ballerina of the esteemed Boston
Ballet and a wildly popular dance influencer on Instagram
until her career came crashing down in the wake of allega-
tions that she and Taylor sexually abused the young women
in their sphere of influence.
The legal case, first filed in July 2021, is ongoing (the
Buttons have filed a motion to dismiss in which they deny any
wrongdoing; when reached by Cosmopolitan, their attorney
declined to provide additional comment). The accusations
at its center are harrowing, detailing a predatory pattern
of grooming, coercion, molestation, sexual assault, and, in

THE PHOTOS IN THIS ARTICLE ARE OF PROFESSIONAL MODELS AND USED FOR ILLUSTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY.
some cases, battery, perpetrated over the course of at least
a decade.
The arc of these stories—among the seven plaintiffs in this
case and in broader narratives that have played out in
recent years on the global stage—is by now painfully familiar.
Hollywood. Media. Gymnastics. Now, another subculture of
PREVIOUS SPREAD: CATHRINE WESSEL/ART PARTNER LICENSING.

silence is crumbling.
It’s typically the shocking details of these abuses that get
remembered and then tangled, for the rest of her life, around
the person who survived them. So we’ve decided to tell this
story differently, separating the specifics of the alleged crimes
(page 104) from the women they were committed against.
Rosie. Dani. Gina. Sage. This is who they are—which isn’t the
same thing as what happened to them—and what they hope
will happen next.
1 02 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
Rosie
31 now, in her mid-teens then
Rosie was always the one who remembered the
living room, physical expressions of what’s going on
in her mind—a dialectic in clips posted on Instagram.
“We all have a body. We all have an ability to
connect with that body,” she says. “Some of us
are further away from knowing what that means.”
Listening to ourselves—paying attention to our own
intuition—is essential to building that connection,
Rosie explains, to finding our footing, expressing
choreography during recitals. Other kids, off the thing that we’re trying to say. To recognizing
in their own worlds, might toddle into the wings, something for what it really is.
sit down, stick a thumb in their mouth. Not Rosie.
She followed the steps, felt the beat. From a young
age, that talent—to arrange herself into the right
shapes, to commit a combo to memory—was a
double-edged sword.
“There is an innate ability to take an idea, put it
in my brain, and transfer it through my body,” she
explains. “But at the same time, I think dancers can
be at a disadvantage because we’re taught to turn
off our instincts, not to listen to that feeling of ‘I’m

Dani
tired’ or ‘I need a break’ or ‘that hurts.’ It’s some-
thing I’m trying to undo in myself.”
When Rosie met Taylor, she was new to Center-
stage Dance Academy in Tampa, Florida. He was
a popular teacher. In his early 20s, he seemed to
have an easy rapport with the other dancers. Rosie
wanted them to like her, so she decided to go with 31 now, around 17 then
the flow. Even if it meant downplaying his unset-
tling attention. Like how he would insist on taking Another rehearsal room, in 2021. A young
her out to lunch. And how he slid sexual innuendos dancer raises her leg in a shaky développé.
into their conversations. Later, after he cornered Dani gently adjusts the girl’s balance and turnout;
her alone, he manipulated her into believing that the extension unfolds, longer, higher. “As a teacher,
nothing bad was happening to her. He claimed it you’re constantly correcting,” Dani
wasn’t illegal because he wasn’t that much older. says. But you have to be careful
“It’s the easier thing to trust, when you’re a teen-
ager and learning how to love people,” she says. He
with criticism, even the construc-
tive kind. “A lot of kids will receive
“We’re taught
was her mentor; he told her it was okay. She wanted that as: ‘I’m bad.’ And they need our to turn off our
to believe him. Except the things he said and did left
her confused, disoriented. Like she was underwater
help.” Her calling, she decided years
ago, is to help them. To leave them instincts, not
in complete darkness, with no clue about which way
was safe to swim.
better than when they came through
the door.
to listen to that
Senior year of high school, she switched to
another studio to get away from him. She felt
Dani didn’t always plan to teach.
Around the time she turned 15,
feeling of ‘I’m
ashamed and also fearful of what could happen if she started to think about dance tired’ or ‘I
she talked about it. The trauma was always there,
circulating within her body. She compartmental-
as a viable career path. Imagined
moving to Los Angeles, trying out need a break’
ized. Told herself it would be okay. But it wasn’t.
She only started getting better when she stopped
for movies, commercials, music
videos. But big cattle-call auditions
or ‘that hurts.’”
keeping it all in. make her feel empty, so she turned
Today, Rosie is still dancing. Now based in New her focus to choreographing and instructing
York City, she’s the artistic director of a small classes instead. She knows, from personal experi-
performance collective. She auditions, choreographs, ence, that the right teacher can change everything.
and teaches yoga to kids at an elementary school. So can the wrong one. As a teenager, Dani was
She works out phrases of movement in her empty taking classes at Centerstage, around the same time

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 1 03
The Allegations
The following is a transcript of what the Buttons allegedly did to their victims, excerpted from the disturbing 71-page legal com-
plaint those survivors filed last year. Lines that start with “he” are allegations against Taylor Button; those that start with “they”
are allegations against both Taylor and Dusty. Throughout the document, the accounts echo. “Perpetrators don’t really change
their playbook,” says attorney Sigrid McCawley, a leading victims’ rights lawyer who represents these plaintiffs as well as survi-
vors of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. Here, the dancers’ identities have been omitted, their experiences woven together
to show how the Buttons’ pattern played out—across victims, across time. The names could be anyone’s.

“He promised that if she trusted him and followed his direction, he would help
her become a successful dancer.” / “He was physically affectionate toward
her and would single her out for special attention.” / “He made special efforts
to isolate her and confine her in spaces which he controlled.” / “He sched-
uled rehearsals for her dance solos to be late at night when no one else was
in the dance studio.” / “He began to make explicitly sexual comments toward
her.” / “He regularly told her that he wanted to ‘take her virginity.’” / “He
instructed her not to tell anyone, including her mother, about his comments
and behavior that were sexual in nature.” / “He hugged her and then groped
her breasts.” / “He told her that it was not illegal for him to perform sexual
acts on her because of the size of their age difference.” / “He touched her
leg and eventually began rubbing her vagina without her consent.” / “He
then grabbed her hand and forced her to touch his penis.” / “He used his
position of power and authority over her to force her to comply with his sexual
demands.” / “Over time, he became increasingly controlling.” / “He would
become enraged if she did not immediately respond to his text messages.”
/ “He instructed her to isolate herself from her family and from certain
friends.” / “He instructed her to change his contact in her phone to a fake
name and to delete all of their text exchanges every night.” / “He told her
via Snapchat that he wanted to throw her in his van, tie her hands and feet,
blindfold her, rent a warehouse, hang her from the ceiling, rape her, ‘and leave
[her] there to die.’” / “He coerced her into sex through intimidation, emo-
tional abuse, and by exploiting their unequal power dynamic.” / “They would
insist that she drink heavily when she was with them.” / “He then forced her
to perform oral sex on him. She was terrified.” / “Dusty held up her phone
in a manner that indicated to her she was recording the rape.” / “The abuse
intensified.” / “They instructed her to lie down on a table, and they tied up
her arms and legs so she was unable to move.” / “They began having sex
with her whenever they pleased.” / “He became enraged and dragged her
across the room by her hair.” / “He physically abused her at least three times
a week, including by punching and kicking her in the stomach, and squeez-
ing her until she could not breathe and her nose bled.” / “He pulled out a
knife and put it to her throat.” / “He told her he would kill himself and her
family in front of her if she ever tried to leave him.”
104 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2 If you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence and wants support or information about
as Rosie and Gina. That’s where her story first inter- Dance before trading L.A. for New York. All the while
sects with Taylor too. performing, choreographing—and teaching, the
First, he was her teacher who told her she was pursuit that matters the most now, after what she
like his “little sister.” Later, he said their age differ- went through.
ence didn’t matter. “I had a perfect childhood, “The biggest lesson I want to give my students
wonderful parents—I never knew people like this is the confidence to know: Even though they’re
existed,” she says. And because she didn’t know, “I young, they are smart. Their instincts are correct. If
didn’t recognize the warning signs.” someone makes them feel uncomfortable, if people
Their “relationship” affected everything: her overstep, they should follow that gut feeling,” Gina
mental health, her sense of safety. Even where she says. She felt it herself, in her early teens. Back then,
went to college—he convinced her to stay local. she was taking classes in Tampa, at Centerstage.
And because he didn’t want her partnering with She was in awe of him. Taylor. He’d worked with
other men in classes there, she paused on study- big names; he could help her achieve her goals in
ing dance. He yelled, berated her in public. If some- the professional dance world, he promised. When
one attempted to intervene, he scared them off by he singled her out for a solo opportunity, she was
becoming belligerent. She started believing no one elated. Looking back: “It’s the first memory of when
could help her. In the worst moments, she was afraid the grooming began.”
for her life. On her 14th birthday, he gave her a teddy bear
Sometimes she feels overwhelmed and angry sprayed with his cologne, so she could feel like
about the sheer volume of stories like hers. “Where she was “sleeping” with him, she remembers. He
are the good people?” she wants to know. “As much devised reasons for them to be alone together. It
as we see all these horrible stories and all these went on for a year and a half.
people’s trauma, there’s still not enough education “The thing about being a
about what to look out for. Like, ‘These are the steps,
and if you find yourself in this situation, you need
young dancer is we’re trained
to seek approval. You don’t He gave her a
to get out. Now.’”
“Every time I talk about this, it’s scary—I have
come out of the womb know-
ing you shouldn’t be touched
teddy bear
to gather up my strength and bravery and keep
reminding myself of the bigger purpose,” Dani says.
or talked to like that by
someone twice your age,”
sprayed with
“I want people to be educated enough not to have Gina says. “I know now. I his cologne,
the same experience.”
With her own students, she talks about red flags,
didn’t then.”
In late 2010, when rumors
so she could
about boundaries. They call her The Therapist. “If
the kids have something—anything—going on in
began circulating about
his inappropriate behavior,
feel like she
their lives, they know I’ll help them.” Just teach- Taylor left the studio. He was “sleeping”
ing a dance combination doesn’t cut it. She wants
to do more.
moved to London, married
Dusty, took her last name. with him.
Gina felt “destroyed,” she
remembers. He made her
believe that telling anyone about “them” would
ruin her career, weaponizing her own hopes for
the future.
“No one really helped me.” That’s what it feels
like, when she thinks back. In 2018, she filed
a police report and a detective worked the case, a
drawn-out process that ended with the devastating
news that there wasn’t enough evidence to go to

Gina
court. When Gina heard that, she lost it. A mentor
gave her some advice: Put the abuse in a box. Keep
moving. Move on.
She tried. Years passed. She imagined him out
there, in contact with other young dancers, making
the rounds at conventions. It scared her. Slowly, she
25 now, around 13 then started telling more people what had happened.
Then another dancer connected her with Sage, who
Gina’s mom put her into classes when she turned put Gina in touch with the attorneys now leading
3, a whirling gale of shiny brown curls. Jazz, tap, the lawsuit. She felt stronger, found purpose in
Afro, ballet, hip-hop—it was like movement had been the thing she’d been through: helping make sure it
waiting for her. By the time she was 12, she had already didn’t happen again.
decided: This was what she wanted to do forever. “My trauma, my PTSD: It’s always there,” Gina
She grew up in Florida, made her way to Los says. But the box is open. She’s not afraid of what’s
Angeles. In 2019, she competed on NBC’s World of in it anymore.

how to find help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE or visit Hotline.RAINN.org. ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 105
 The walls were painted black. In one
room, a collection of guns was displayed.
106 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
 Consider the physics of a pirouette, the centrif-
ugal force of a body in motion. The torque. The
friction of the floor, which makes turning possible
but also stops it, eventually. When Sage was small,
her nana would drive her to the dance studio and
watch her practice for hours. That’s where she fell
in love with that feeling: the self-contained revolu-
tion of a spin.
She kept turning. At 12, she was accepted into
the School of American Ballet summer program
in New York City, attending three summers in a
row, followed by a rigorous Russian-style studio
in Southern California, close to home. Soon, she
appeared in a docuseries, Dance School Diaries, as
she geared up to compete in the Youth America
Grand Prix competition, its own kind of Olympics.
A contract with Ford Models—a detour—and then
back to training that landed her at Boston Ballet.
That’s where Dusty approached her, in 2017,
around the time Sage was offered a contract with
the company. Dusty was already at the height of her
career, the pinnacle of what every dancer aspired
to, and Sage was starstruck. Now, she thinks of that
first “hello” as the moment her world darkened.
Their friendship began in the studio. Then Dusty
invited Sage to come to her apartment. The walls
were painted black. In one room, a collection of
guns was displayed. That’s when Sage met Taylor.
She remembers he asked her a stream of questions:
about her life, her relationships, her family. Later,
when he offered to manage her social media, it
made sense to say yes—Dusty had a huge follow-
ing, hundreds of thousands on Instagram. Taylor got
the passwords to Sage’s phone, email, and accounts.
That’s when he started monitoring her communica-
tion. Infiltrating everything.
Soon, she was spending all her time with the
Buttons. Sage recalls being on the train once—a
rare moment alone—and realizing she was trapped
in a nightmare. “This was calculated. These people
are predators. This is a pattern,” Sage says. But she
didn’t know how to make it stop.
Then came spring, when Dusty was fired from the
ballet, and Sage’s parents arrived for a surprise visit

Sage
that turned into an intervention. With the help of a
rehearsal director at the company, they whisked her
away. It took months of work to begin to unravel the
CATHRINE WESSEL/ART

mess in her mind. Later that year, Sage returned to

PARTNER LICENSING.

work in Boston.
“I used to think ballet was a safe place,” she reflects.
“Now it’s interesting to me how the most evil people
24 now, around 18 then hide in plain sight, where no one would suspect.”

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 1 07
 Call of the
Twenty-seven-year-old equestrian Brianna Noble went viral in 2020
founder of Urban Cowgirl Ranch is showing what it takes to

PHOTOGR APH S
BY
DEANNE FITZMAURICE
Urban Cowgirl
when she pulled up to a Black Lives Matter protest on horseback. Now, the
sustain a movement—and to write a new story of the American West.

I NTE RVI EW
BY
M AYA R I C H A R D - C R AV E N

109
As a teen working as a veterinary
assistant to cover the cost of riding
lessons at California Bay Area
barns, Brianna Noble learned
early: “The horse world is a very
white place,” she says. She was a
talented equestrian who dreamed
of becoming the first Black woman
show jumper at the Olympics.
But her activist values led her
to break barriers in a different
way: by founding a 40-acre
equine sanctuary that advances
horsemanship—and the personal
empowerment it confers—among
Black and brown communities.
“You don’t see a lot of people of
color in a lot of outdoor spaces,”
Noble says. “A lot of us, we’re more
concerned with surviving.”

“My place in this world is to be the nucleus. I’m drawing

110 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
people together to create something that’s good.”
 “Without my horse, I’d be just another protester

Brianna Noble always wanted to do more—more for people way of honoring family members who’d used the term “mulatto”
in need, more for the cause. She was an activist from a young with pride—and of reclaiming it from its racist roots. This was
age, a high schooler in Oakland, California, when a white city a ranch where Black and brown communities would reap the
transit officer shot and killed a 22-year-old unarmed Black man benefits of working with horses, learning to ride and care for the
named Oscar Grant. At the time, Noble hit the streets to rally a animals in a safe outdoor space created by and for marginalized
shattered community, joining with other young people to help people. Here, horses gained new purpose. Noble gained new
organize events like town halls and forums. But her efforts felt purpose. And in that personal and powerful way, all along the
small, their impact negligible. “I made no difference,” she says. trails of her ranch, her work for racial justice picked up the pace.
Her gift for equestrianism would change that feeling. Years Since then, she’s rebranded to Urban Cowgirl Ranch and
of horseback riding had empowered Noble with intuition, lead- expanded her impact to thousands of people by linking with
ership, and grit. Riding had shown her transcendence—“my like-minded groups—homeless advocacy organizations, mental
church,” she’s been known to say. But as one of few people health care providers, summer camps serving low-income kids.
of color (and of modest family means) who trained alongside “All I have to do is pick up the phone and be like, ‘Oh, you have
wealthy white kids at local barns, she experienced racism too. By a trauma therapy program? Let me use horses as a medium to
the time Noble reached adulthood, she was tired of trying to win help you create the learning outcomes you want in your chil-
over hearts and minds in oppressive spaces. “My mom always dren,’” Noble says. “All I have to do is be the horsewoman.”
told me to worry about my damn self—not about other people,” It’s a role she’s now famous for. In May 2020, as demonstra-
she says. “Be the change you want to see. Others will follow.” tors again prepared to march through the streets of Oakland
In 2017, Noble founded Mulatto Meadows, a horse ranch to condemn a police killing—this time, the murder of George
not far from the city block where she grew up. The name was a Floyd—Noble approached on her horse, a majestic steed. The

112 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2
out there screaming my ass off.”

Acquired for $500 through a crowd raised their signs. Photographers snapped away. Noble’s
Craigslist ad, Noble’s horse Dapper image—the badass cowgirl, fist held high—became a viral
Dan, a 17-hand Appaloosa, arrived
symbol of resistance.
at the ranch so wild that another
owner might have euthanized
While the moment opened doors to circles of influence, fund-
him. Dapper Dan is now trained to ing and support for the ranch from within the agriculture world
tolerate crowds and noise, and with has remained elusive. “I sit on some boards with CEOs of the
frequent public appearances, he biggest organizations in the industry,” she says. “I still can’t get
brings instant visibility to the causes
them to help me make this go around. That really taught me
Noble supports. Seen in shadow
above, the two prepare to lead a
something right there.”
get-out-the-vote march in Oakland. Building financial independence is a major priority for the
“He’s a historical figure,” Noble says. months ahead. She is preparing to monetize with experiences
for tourists and has some other projects in the works. Proceeds
will support her fiercest mission: to leverage horses for heal-
ing, growth, and joy among people who have historically been
denied such opportunities.
Today, Noble says that nurturing her passion is how she
moves the needle toward a more just world. “Stay in the lane
that you’re in. Do what you’re good at, what you love to do,” she
says. “The less I focused on ‘making a difference,’ the more of
a difference I made.”

ISSUE 2 C o s m o p o l i ta n 113
 T h e La s t Pa g e

You + Music
Let’s tap into your playlists.
BY AN NAB E L IWEGBU E PH OTOGR APH BY B ETH SACCA

What has shaped your music And what’s your go-to How much are you willing to
taste the most? music platform? pay monthly for streaming?

49 48 16
81%
Spotify
%
13% % %
The stuff my family and I Up to $10 Exactly $0
listened to growing up Apple Music

26 25 24 12
4%
YouTube
<1% EACH % %
% %
Up to $5 More than $10
Definitely My social Amazon Music, Pandora,
social media circle SoundCloud, the radio

What genre is always For new music: How do you want your music
in your rotation? Do you like a surprise album to make you feel?
(Check all that apply.) drop or a full rollout? (Check all that apply.)

50
89% 44%
83% 51%
Pop R&B
Energized Introspective
%
49% 38%
Beyoncé style, with no 79% 45%
Hip- Rock warning, is the best. Relaxed Distracted
hop

50
33%
69% 41%
46% Dance/
Understood Melancholy
Indie/ electronic
%
alternative 20% I like all the lead-up anticipation!
Country

Do you often actually listen When are you typically listening Are you into creating
to an entire album? to music? (Check all that apply.) playlists?

54 68
73% 69%
In the shower When I’m
% or when just %
Nope. I just repeat getting ready chilling I’m very much about this!

32
my fave songs.
69% 68%

46
On my Just...all
commute the time %
% I’d rather just listen to them.
69% 55%
Yes, I love a full body of work.
When I work out While I work

And now for a playlist of all the songs

114 C o s m o p o l i ta n ISSUE 2 you’re currently obsessing over: