Email Writing Exercises

Ahmad Faraz Khan

Unlearn the use of complicated over simple
words
• New age MBAs exchange upwards of 200 emails a day (US).

• Most of them like text messages (SMS style: U, K, ASAP, LOL,…)

• In business writing conciseness is a prime virtue.

• Purpose + Context ----------Select the message

Audience:
• What they already know?

• What they need to know?

• What’s the significance of this information to them?

 Sending emails and letters
Salutations Signing off

• Dear Mr/ Mrs/ Ms/ Miss • Yours sincerely/ Yours

Sita • Yours faithfully
• Dear Sir/ Madam • (With) Best wishes/ Kind
• Dear Jay regards
• Hi Jags • See you soon/ Hear from
you soon
In Business Letters/emails
• When the recipient’s name is unknown to you:
Dear Sir … Yours faithfully
Dear Madam … Yours faithfully
Dear Sir or Madam … Yours faithfully

• When you know the recipient’s name:

Dear Mr Hanson … Yours sincerely
Dear Mrs Hanson … Yours sincerely
Dear Miss Hanson … Yours sincerely
Dear Ms Hanson … Yours sincerely
• When addressing a good friend or colleague:
Dear Jack … Best wishes/Best regards
 Sending emails and letters
Opening phrases Closing Phrases
• Please contact me again if you need
• In reply to your letter ... . any more information.
• Thank you for your letter of May • If I can be of any further assistance,
14th concerning … . please do contact me again.
• Thanks for your email ... . • Let me know if you need anything
else.
• Following our phone
conversation ... . • I look forward to hearing from you.
• Hear from you soon.
• See you in Cairo.
• Take care.
Reason for writing
• This letter/ email is to ... .
• I am writing to ... .
• I am pleased to ... .
• I’d be pleased if you ... .
• Could you please ... .
• Would you please ... .
• Please email me ... .
• Just a quick note to ... .
• I am sorry to inform you ... .
• Unfortunately ... .
• I’m sorry about ... .
• I apologize for ... .
Attaching and enclosing documents
• I attach ... .
• I enclose ... .
• Please find enclosed … .
Email

Hello Karl

Just a quick note to confirm that I’m coming to Bangalore on May 5

and I’ll stay there until May 7. I hope we can meet to discuss our
production requirements for next year. Please let me know when it
would suit you.

See you soon

Chris
 Business letter
NewTech Ltd
21 Hitech city
Hyderabad, India

Mr Karl
Production manager, TSP Technologies
Georgenstrasse 132
Berlin 3287
Germany

Dear Mr Zorn,

Re: Visit to Berlin

Further to our telephone conversation, I would like to confirm my next visit to Berlin. I hope to be in Berlin on
May 5, 6 and 7, and I would be very pleased if we could meet to discuss our production requirements for next
year. Please let me know when it would be convenient for you.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely
Chris O’Connell
 Rewrite the following extracts from business letters as emails.

Dear Carol

Thank you for your letter of October 13. Unfortunately I won’t be able to attend your workshop in Stockholm.
Could you please send me some information on future workshops planned ...

Best regards
David Burns

Hi Carol

Thanks for your letter/ email. I’m sorry but I won’t be able to attend your workshop in Stockholm. Please
send/ email me some information on future workshops planned...

Take care
David Burns
 Rewrite the following extracts from email as Business
Letter (more formal)
Hi

Thanks for your email received last night. Sorry for the delay in replying.
This email is to confirm we have reserved five single rooms for Friday October 14 and 15.
See you in Venice.

Take care
Danielle Torri

Dear Mr ...

Thank you for your email received last night. I apologise for the delay in replying.
I am pleased to confirm we have reserved five single rooms for Friday October 14th and 15th.
We look forward to seeing you in Venice.

Best regards
Danielle Torri
Exercises
 Match the uses below with the phrases in the table

Payments Complaints Orders Clarifications Attachments Suggestions

Apologizing Congratulations Closings Openings Meetings Thanks Requests

Uses:
• We would like to offer our sincere apologies for the mistake Apologies

•Attached please find the document Attachments

•The document you have sent is not what we expected. There may have Clarifications
been a misunderstanding between us

•I look forward to your reply Closings

•Kindly send us the agreement draft Requests

 Payments Complaints Orders Clarifications Attachments Suggestions
Apologizing Congratulations Closings Openings Meetings Thanks Requests

• We are very happy to receive a favorable reply from you Thanks

• We are disappointed with the quality of your service Complaints

• Your order no. 6739w, dated 26 Dec 2011 has been shipped today Orders

Payments
• Your payment on Order no. 6739w is due on 12th Jan 2012

• Alternatively, you can directly contact out local office Suggestions

 Common mistakes
Underline the correct or most appropriate word

I am writing with (1) connection/reference/regarding

to our telephone conversation this morning about
your order 7895LG. I must (2) regret/apologise/sorry
for the delay in processing this order. I can now
confirm that the goods have been shipped and should
(3) arrive/reach/deliver you within 10 working days.
We have taken special (4) care/attention/caution to
make sure that the items are exactly as you
requested.
Once again, please (5) take/have/accept our
apologies. If you have any further questions, do not
(6) stop/fail/hesitate to contact me again.
 Email 2

I am writing to you (1) affecting/connecting/concerning

the meeting that we (2) combined/appointed/arranged for
this Friday. I am afraid something urgent has come up and
I will not be able to attend. Can we (3)
cancel/postpone/schedule the meeting until next week? I
can make any time Wednesday or Thursday.
I apologise for any
(4)disadvantage/inconvenience/unfortunate this may cause,
and I (5) look forward/wait/anticipate to (6)
hear/hearing/know from you.
 Exercise-Giving news

1. An email to a colleague giving some news about a project.

Ideas: progress of the project; problems and possible solutions; any budget or
staffing issues; likely outcome.

Exchange emails with a partner.

Reply to the email you receive, inventing any information necessary.

Work with the partner. Check each other’s grammar, spelling, punctuation
and style. Is everything clear, well-structured and easy to understand?
2. An email to a colleague giving some news about a meeting.
Ideas: the date has been changed; the agenda has been changed; there
is some important new information.
Exchange emails with a partner.
Reply to the email you receive, inventing any information necessary.

Work with the partner. Check each other’s grammar, spelling,

punctuation and style. Is everything clear, well-structured and easy to
understand?
3. An email to a friend giving some personal news.
Ideas: a new job; a new flat; a mutual fiend who you met.

Exchange emails with a partner.

Reply to the email you receive, inventing any information necessary.

Work with the partner. Check each other’s grammar, spelling,

punctuation and style. Is everything clear, well-structured and easy to
understand?
Using the following phrases, Write an e-mail
‘Thank You for the Interview’.

•Thank you - time and consideration

-extended - interview with you
yesterday - opportunity - my
experience - my future goals -
hearing from you - wish to thank -
courtesy
Dear

Thank you for the time and consideration you

extended to me during my interview with you
yesterday.

I appreciate having had the opportunity to speak

with you about my experience in related fields and
my future goals.

I shall look forward to hearing from you and wish

to thank you again for your courtesy.
Using the following phrases, Write an e-mail on
Acknowledgement of Change in Meeting Date .

• Pursuant to your request - changed your

meeting -(time), - (date)- able to
accommodate - (name of individual) -
looking forward - meeting - newly
appointed date.
Dear

Pursuant to your request, we have changed your

meeting with (name of individual) to (time), on
(date)

We are pleased to be able to accommodate you in

this manner, and (name of individual) will be
looking forward to your meeting on this newly
appointed date.
Using the following phrases, Write an e-mail to express
an Apology After Cancellation of Order

• acknowledge receipt - letter (date)-

reasons -canceling your purchase -
misunderstanding - led – cancellation-
the matter up with management - problem
- does not occur - valued customers-
satisfaction - primary concerns- Please
accept our apology.
Dear

This is to acknowledge receipt of your letter of (date)

in which you set forth your reasons for canceling your
purchase order #

I am very sorry about the misunderstanding that led to

this cancellation and have taken the matter up with
management in order to ensure that a problem of this
nature does not occur again.

As one of our valued customers, your satisfaction is one

of our primary concerns. Please accept our apology.
Using the following phrases, write a letter of Notice of Rejection
of Goods.

• Received goods - our order - dated - hereby

reject said goods - reason(s) - Goods not
delivered - required time - defective as
described - non-conforming to sample or
specifications - Notice of acceptance of our
order - as required - not received - ordered
the goods from other sources - issuing
appropriate credits or refunds - provide
instruction for return at your expense.
NOTICE OF REJECTION OF GOODS

Date: _

To: _ (Supplier)

We received goods from you pursuant to our order dated ________

We hereby reject said goods for the reason(s) checked
below:
__ Goods were not delivered within required time.
__ Goods were defective as described on reverse side.
__ Goods were non-conforming to sample or specifications as stated on reverse side.

Notice of acceptance of our order, as required, has

not been received, and we ordered the goods from other
sources.
__ Prices for said goods do not conform to quote,catalogue or order.
__ Goods represent only a partial shipment.

Please issue appropriate credits and provide instruction for return at your expense.
Rejection of said goods shall not be a waiver of any other claim we may have.

Very truly,
 Using the following phrases write an e-mail on Policy Letter on
Vehicle Expense Reimbursement.

• essential that - personnel drives company and

personal vehicles in connection - company -
maintain - record - expenses incurred - reimbursed
- expenditures that - your good - record keeping -
possible.

• Receipts – submit – purchases - expenses and

repairs - require record -the amount of time spent
driving - your cooperation
Dear

It is essential that any of our personnel who drive company

and personal vehicles in connection with company business
maintain a thorough record of any expenses incurred. It is
our desire to be certain that you are reimbursed for any
expenditures that you make in this regard, and your good
record keeping will make this possible.

Receipts must be submitted for gasoline purchases, parking

expenses and repairs. In addition, we will require your
daily record of the number of miles driven, the odometer
reading, before and after, and the amount of time spent
driving. This information should be contained in your
weekly report to (name)

Thank you very much for your cooperation in this matter.

Write a polite first reminder to a company that owes you a
lot of money.
• What is your company’s business? -----------------
• What products/services do you offer? -----------------
• What is the business of the company that owes you money?--------
• Who in their company are you going to write to? Do you know the name?
• How much money do they owe?----------------
• Why do they owe you money? ------------------
• What action do you want them to take? -------------
Ideas: settle the full amount? how? give an explanation? are you
going to give a deadline?
When you finish, work with a partner.

Check each other’s grammar, spelling, punctuation and style.

Is everything clear, well-structured and easy to understand?

You are planning to go on a business trip. Write the
details below.

• Where are you going? _____________________________

• What is the purpose of your trip? ________________
• How long are you going to stay? ___________________
• Why are you going? ________________________________
• What is your itinerary (the places you will visit)? __
• Who will you meet? _________________________
• How well do you know them? Have you written / spoken
to / met them before?
2. Write two e-mails, on separate sheets of paper, using the situation
you created in 1. The maximum length for each e-mail is 100 words.

• e-mail 1: Write to the person you are going to meet. What do you
need to tell them? Perhaps you need to let them know what you
want to discuss. Do you want them to arrange anything for you?

• e-mail 2: Write an e-mail to all your colleagues. Tell them about

your plans and ask them if they want you to take / do / find out /
bring back anything.
3. Work with a partner. Exchange e-mail 1, and read each other’s
situations from 1.

• Ask and answer questions about your two situations. In particular,

talk about the kind of reply your partner expects.
• You will need this information in the next activity.
4. Work individually.
• Imagine that you are the person your partner is going to meet.

• Write a reply to your partner’s e-mail. The maximum length for the e-
mail is 100 words.
5. Exchange and read the e-mails.
Model letter - Request for Full Refund
Dear
The ( Name of Product ) I purchased from you on May 15, 2006
turned out to be quite a disappointment. While it looked the
same as the one I saw in your commercial, it did not perform in
the same way.
Following the instructions, I placed an onion in its proper
position and pushed down on the mincer, which immediately
bent out of shape. I experienced the same problem when I
attempted to dice a carrot.
Therefore, I am returning the ( Name of Product ) to you and
ask that you issue me a full refund. I am not interested in
receiving a replacement.
Model letter - Request for Employment Interview by the
candidate
Dear

(name of individual) recommended that I contact you and request an

interview.

I have recently graduated from (college or university) with a degree

in (state degree) I am very interested in(state area) and would
appreciate having the opportunity to discuss any openings you may
have in this area.

I have enclosed my resume for your review and will look forward to
meeting you.

Thank you for your consideration.

 Announcement of Price Increase _ a letter to client/customer from the
company
Dear (Name)

Due to the increase in raw material costs, we must unfortunately raise

the cost of our merchandise to you.

We have avoided raising our prices for as long as possible, but we can
no longer prolong the inevitable. We have enclosed our new price list
for your review which goes into effect on (date). Any orders placed
between now and (date of increase) will be honored at the lower
prices.

We wish to thank you for your valued account and know that you will
understand the necessity for this price increase.
Defining Memos
ØMemos are company internal letters.
(E-mail is taking over their function.)
ØMemos are more formal than e-mails, but less formal than business
letters.
ØOriginally used only in hard copy, they are now often processed
electronically.
ØMemos vary in length.
(Short memos serve as inter- or intra-office communication; long memos may serve as reports.)
Preparing to write a memo
ØLearn your organization’s memo policy.
ØAnalyze the attitudes and expectations of your audience.
-- Consider primary, secondary, tertiary etc. audiences.
-- Choose direct or indirect method.

ØKnow the purpose of your message.

 MEMO
TO: All Employees
FROM: Arthur Dahlquist, General Manager
DATE: June 21, 2008
SUBJECT: Wide Area Telephone Service (WATS) Lines

WATS lines were installed three years ago to give all employees easier telephone
access to our customers and suppliers in other parts of the country. In fact, our
company's growth rate has increased since then, and we attribute at least part of
that growth to the new telephone system.

As sales have increased, so have our telephone bills. But, over the past few
months, those bills have been growing faster than sales. It seems that a few people
have been using the long-distance lines to make personal calls. Such misuse of the
WATS lines reduces our profits (and thus the amount available for profit sharing by
all employees), and it ties up lines that are needed for business calls.

Please do your part to keep our company profitable and healthy. If you absolutely
must make a personal long-distance call during business hours, please charge it to
your home phone. Your colleagues will appreciate your consideration.

Sample Memo
Memo
 Formatting Memos
1. Company Logo/Letterhead 4. “From” line
-- Writer’s initials are added in ink.
Most companies use letterhead.
-- Instead of initialing next to “From” line, you may
sign your name below last line.
2. “Date” line
Lines up horizontally with printed
Date/To/From/Subject 5. “Subject” line
-- Provide a subject line that describes the topic and
focus of your message
3. “To” line
-- Be specific and accurate to aid filing and later
Use reader’s name: e.g. John. K. Klein
retrieval.
Define group: e.g. All employees,
-- Capitalize all major words except articles, prepositions,
and conjunctions.
Formatting Memos (cont.)

Sample Subject lines

Vague: Energy Use Vague: Building Temperatures

Specific: Effectiveness of Reducing Building
Temperatures on Weekends
Specific: Low-Cost Way to
Reduce Energy Use
Formatting Memos (cont.)

For memos running two or more pages, use

a heading at the top of the second and
subsequent pages.
Brief Subject Line
Date
Page Number
or
Reader’s Name Page Number Date
 Formatting Memos (cont.)
Features of standard memos:

1. No salutation 4. Usefull block format without

Omit “Dear Chris Crowell, Dear
indentation.
Employees,”
5. Headings are optional.
2. No close
-- Never use a separate heading for the first
Omit “Sincerely, Cordially,” paragraph.
-- Each heading must cover all the information until
3. No signature or signature block the next heading

6. Double-space between paragraphs

7. Triple-space before a heading

Writing Informative Memos

1. Present most important material first.

(The first sentence of the memo should explain clearly its purpose, e.g. “The purpose of this
memo is to request authorization to travel to the Juarez branch Thursday to meet with the
other inspectors.”)
2. Arrange remaining material in descending order of importance.
3. Use a moderately formal tone.
 Writing Informative Memos (cont.)
Date: June 3, 2008
To: All employees
Sample of
From: James Pearce, Human Resources
Informative Memo
Subject: Form for In-house Letters (memos)
_______________________________________________________________
This is an illustration of our memorandum stationary. It should be
used for written communications within the organization.

Notice that the memorandum uses no form of salutation. Neither

does it have any form of complimentary close. The writer does not
need to sign the message. He or she needs to only initial after the
typed name in the heading.

Notice also that the message is single-spaced with double spacing

between paragraphs.
 Writing Persuasive Memos

Structure of persuasive memos:

• Attention: Your opening introduces your topic and
encourages your audience to hear more about your main
A
idea.
• Interest: Your explanation presents reasons and incites
the interest of your audience.
I
• Desire: Your continued explanation presents additional
benefits of your idea and changes your audience’s D
attitude.
• Action: Your close emphasizes benefits and motivates
your audience to take specific action. A
Sample of Persuasive Memo

In spite of our recent switch to purchasing plastic Attention: Attracts

products in bulk, our costs for the plastic containers reader’s attention
that we use at company meetings are still high. In my to problem
January 5 memo, I included all the figures showing
our excessive costs.

In January, I suggested we purchase plastic

containers during winter months when petroleum Interest: Highlights
prices tend to be lower. Because you approved that ways of reducing
suggestion, we realized a 10 percent savings this year. costs
A recycling program offered by the city could easily
lead to additional savings.
Sample of Persuasive Memo (Cont.)

In addition to the cost in dollars is the cost in image. Desire: Points out
Many of our employees have complained about our solution of an
lack of a recycling program for plastic containers. associated
problem

I have attached a detailed report of the costs involved.

Our net savings in the first year should run about $500.
The recycling plan will help build our public image Action: Motivates
while improving our bottom line. If you agree, let’s by specifying
meet next week. Please call me at ext. 2356 if you savings and
have any questions. requests specific
action
 Writing Persuasive Memos (cont.)
Create goodwill by being respectful
Demanding: Submit your answer within one week.
Respectful: I would appreciate your answer within one week.

Show “you” attitude by being positive and tactful

Negative: Your complaint about our fees is way off target. They are definitely not
higher than those of our competitors.

Tactful: Thank you for your suggestion concerning our fees. We believe, however,
that our fees are competitive, and in some cases below, those of our competitors.
 Writing Persuasive Memos (cont.)
Emphasize reader’s needs and benefits
Weak: We must receive the sales receipt before we can process the refund.
Improved: Please mail or fax the receipt so that we can process your refund.

Use modest tone

Arrogant: My attached report is very thorough, and I am sure you will be impressed.
Modest: The attached report contains details of the refinancing options that I hope
you will find useful.
Revising Persuasive Memos

Elements for consideration:

ØTone
ØStructure
ØVisual appeal
Analysis of a Poorly Phrased Persuasive Memo

Date: Mon, 22 September 2008

From: Susannah Beech, Human Resources Administrator
To: Metro Power Employees
Subject: Coping tactics for technical failures

This is a reminder that computer problems should be reported to Bart Stone immediately, and the
violent tempers in the workplace cannot be tolerated.

Recently, three Metro employees were fired because of violent outbursts after an equipment failure.
One woman was kicking her printer and screaming obscenities. A man threw his keyboard across the
room when he couldn’t get on the Intranet, and a third employee put a fist through his computer screen
after the system failed. We try to avoid firing people, but these employees frightened co-workers, so
we had no choice.

We will do the same to anyone who screams at their computers or kicks their printers in the future. You
can laugh, but it’s not funny. This is akin to workplace terrorism.

Computers should be turned off at night, cleaned with cleaning cloths, and food and drink products
avoided. There are many ways to combat rising tempers. Walks around the building are a good tactic
for calming down.

Technology glitches are not some unholy terror. They are commonplace. Let’s behave like adults in the
future, shall we?

Susannah Beech, Human Resources Administrator

Improved Version

Date: Mon, 22 September 2008

From: Susannah Beech
To: Metro Power Employees
Subject: Coping tactics for technical failures

We all know the stress of racing toward a deadline and suddenly having your equipment fail. Here are a
few suggestions to help you stave off—and cope with—technical equipment and systems failures when
they do occur:

• Stay cool. Tech failures are commonplace in business; your bosses and co-workers will understand.

• Practice preventive maintenance. Use cleaning cloths and sprays regularly, keep liquids and foods
away from sensitive keyboards and printers, and make sure systems are shut down when you leave
at night.
• For faster repair assistance, promptly report computer failures to Bart Stone, assistant director of
information services, ext. 2238.

The last suggestion is perhaps the most important to keep your career on track. Lost tempers, violent
outbursts, and rude language are threatening to co-workers, and could result in reprimands or other
disciplinary action. So stay calm and make good use of technical support hotlines and assistance.
Ask your supervisor for a list of support numbers to keep handy. The next time you experience a
technology glitch, you’ll be able to handle it as just another aspect of your business routine.

Susannah Beech, Human Resources Administrator

Writing Negative Memos

General pattern of a negative memo:

1. A neutral, non-controversial opening statement that is closely related to the

point of the message (= buffer)
2. A logical, neutral explanation of the reasons for the bad news
3. Statement of the bad news
4. A positive close
 Sample of Negative Memo

Date: March 17, 2009

To: Financial Records Department Employees
From: Gerald Payne, Director of Financial Records Department
Subject: Student Requests for Quarterly Reports

We at Quality Corporation have recently been approached by college business students

who would like to conduct research on companies such as ours. Their project sounds
interesting, and we certainly wish we could participate.
However, our board requires strict confidentiality of all sales information until quarterly
reports are mailed to stockholders. We release press reports at the same time the quarterly
reports go out, and we certainly would not mind including the students in our future
mailings.
Although we cannot release projected figures, we are more than willing to share
information that is part of the public record. We also value the interest that business
students take in our company.
Revising Negative Messages

Elements for consideration:

ØAudience awareness
ØOrganization
ØContent
ØTone
 Analysis of a Poorly Worded Negative Memo

Date: 28 May 2009

From: Walt Cummings, Director of Travel and Meeting Services
To: AZ Venture Traveling Executives
Subject: Travel Budget Cuts Effective Immediately

We need to start making some budget cuts in our travel expenditures. These include staying
in cheaper hotels, arranging flights for cheaper times, and renting more reasonable cars.
The company needs to cut travel expenses by 25 percent. This means you’ll no longer stay in
fancy hotels and make last minute, costly changes to your travel plans.
Never return a rental car with an empty tank! That causes the rental agency to charge us a
premium price for the gas they sell when they fill it up upon your return.
You’ll be expected to make these changes in your travel habits immediately. Travel
allowances will reflect the 25% reduction. In the future, any expenses beyond the allowance
will come out of your own pockets.
 Improved version

From: Walt Cummings, Director of Travel and Meeting Services

To: AZ Venture Traveling Executives
Subject: Cutting Travel Expenses
Date: February 25, 2009

I have received positive feed-back from all of you regarding your attendance at conventions
and trade shows. As we all know and understand, they are a vital part to this company’s
growth and success. However, after analyzi our travel expenses, it has come to my
attention that we can and have to curb our expenditures.
Listed below are a few ways that this goal can be easily achieved:
1. Travel and airfare are huge expenses. Please book flights no less than three weeks prior
to the event. You may also consider taking advantage of Southwest’s “ding” or other
discounted tickets.
 Improved version (cont.)

2. When renting a car, remember that carpooling and renting fuel-friendly economy cars will
save lots of money. As you all know, the price of gas is a major factor in travel expenses, so
cutting down on gas usage is vital. Also take the time to refuel the vehicle before returning
it so that we can avoid the company surcharge on gas.
3. Please book hotel rooms in advance to qualify for lower rates. If at all possible, consider
sharing a room with one of your co-workers.
If you apply these money saving tactics to your travel plans, travel expenses can be cut by
25%. In the future, any money spent above the allowed amount will be your personal
responsibility. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact me. Thank
you for your understanding and cooperation.
Proofreading the message

Watch for
• Spelling
• Grammar
• Punctuation

Try to find the 10 errors in the following

message:
 Proofread
Date: February 26 2009
To: All employees
From: Julia Wake
Subject: Protecting Webcor in the Blogosphere

Our companys reputation is vital to our success. Our public image plays a key roll in our relationships with
current and potential customers, suppliers, lenders, government agencies, and community groups. In addition,
our strategic plans, financial plans, and other confidential information need to be protected for not only legal
but competitive reasons as well. These two factors, along with the need to ensure that company networks are
not used to transmit inappropriate materials, lead to the company’s decision to begin monitoring employee e-
mail messages in 2002 and instant messages in 2004.
Trying to protect the company’s important resources, monitoring of employee blogs will begin on April 1. As
with e-mail and IM, the intent here is not to “spy” on anyone or discourage their conversations in the online
community but rather to ensure that Webcor maintains a positive culture internally and a positive reputation
externally.
We also do not want to squelch legitimate and constructive criticism within the company. If you do have a
question or concern; I encourage you to speak with your immediate supervisor. If that conversation does not
yield satisfactory answers, please take advantage of our “open-door” tradition to speak with any member of
senior management.
If you have any questions about the blog monitoring effort, please fell free to e-mail me or call me at extension
254.
Proofreading the message (cont.)

Date: 2-10-2009
To: All employees
From: Julia Wake
Subject: Protecting Webcor in the Blogosphere
1. In dates, use figures for the day and year, but spell
out the month (especially in international
communication).
U.S. usage: February 10, 2009
Military and European usage: 10 February 2009
Proofreading the message (cont.)

Our companys reputation is vital to our success.

2. company’s (Note the possessive case)

Use of apostrophe for possession:

Singular noun: my company’s policies (noun +

apostrophe + s)
Regular plural noun: my neighbors’ houses (noun + s +
apostrophe)
Irregular plural noun: the women’s dresses, the men’s
conference, the children’s toys (noun + apostrophe + s)
Proofreading the message (cont.)

Our public image plays a key roll in our relationships

with current and potential customers, suppliers,
lenders, government agencies, and community
groups.
3. a key role
role = proper or customary function
roll = object rolled up in cylindrical form (noun)
Proofreading the message (cont.)
In addition, our strategic plans, financial plans, and
other confidential information need to be protected
for not only legal but competitive reasons as well.

4. not only … but also

In addition, … need to be protected for not only
legal but also competitive reasons.
Note similar expressions:
both … and; on the one hand … on the other
hand; either … or; neither … nor
Proofreading the message (cont.)
These two factors along with the need to ensure
that company networks are not used to transmit
inappropriate materials lead to the company’s
decision to begin monitoring employee e-mail
messages in 2002 and instant messages in 2004.

5. These two factors, along with the need to

ensure that company networks are not used to
transmit inappropriate materials, …
(Inserted phrases that provide additional
information need a comma on either side.)
6. led (“led” is past tense of the verb “lead”)
 Proofreading the message (cont.)
Trying to protect the company’s important resources,
monitoring of employee blogs will begin on April 1.

8. Rephrase:
Trying to protect the company’s resources, we will
also begin monitoring of employee blogs on April
1.
or
In the same spirit of protecting the company’s
important resources, we will begin monitoring
employee blogs on April 1.
(Dangling modifier: “monitoring” cannot be
“trying” to do something.)
 Proofreading the message (cont.)

As with e-mail and IM, the intent here is not to “spy”

on anyone or discourage their conversations in the
online community but rather to ensure that Webcor
maintains a positive culture internally and a positive
reputation externally.

9. Pronoun agreement:
As with e-mail and IM, the intent is not to “spy” on
employees or discourage their conversations …
Proofreading the message (cont.)
We also do not want to squelch legitimate and
constructive criticism within the company. If you do
have a question or concern; I encourage you to
speak with your immediate supervisor.

10. Use of comma vs. semicolon:

“If you do have a question or concern, I encourage you to
speak with your immediate supervisor.”
A comma is used to separate a subordinate clause from the
following main (= independent) clause.
A semicolon typically separates two independent clauses that
are closely related in meaning if there is no conjunction (for,
and, nor, but, or, yet, so) between them.
(e.g. We are late; we need to leave immediately.)
 To: Steve McArthur, Jay Rosen
Date: July 24, 2009
From: Jim Barnard JB
Subject: Proofreading Letter Announcing Partnership

Here is my draft for a letter to announce are new partnership to clients. Please indicate changes
on this memo and return it to my mailbox. Thanks.

Dear <<first name>>,

After 30 years at Madison & Cowden I have decided to join with two other advisors and create a
Partnership. Our combined experience gives you the benefit of over half a century of knowledge
and three sets of eyes watching your investments.
My new partners, Steve McArthur and Jay Rosen both have 25 years of experience as Advisors
and are focused in the same areas that I have focused on with you for many years. Steve’s
experience includes working as a Branch Manager in Orange County and Jay was a Complex
Manager running much of of Orange County as well as all of Riverside County at UBS Financial
Services. They both hold degrees in economics from the University of Southern California. We all
believe in the same time tested principals of building solid stocks and bonds in quality
enterprises.

We look forward to continuing to serve you here at Madison & Cowden in the years’ ahead.
Steve and Jay will be making contact to introduce them selves to you over the coming weeks.
<< my signature>>
Characteristics of
Effective Memos

ØCivilized: use courtesy and tact

ØConcise: condense information
ØCoherent: use clear and logical structure
ØCompelling: use persuasive diction
ØCorrect: follow conventions of quality writing
Types of Letters
Personal—Business Letter
• A personal-business letter is a letter that is sent from an
individual using their home address to a person or
business/organization.
Business Letter
• A business letter is sent from a business or
organization to an individual or to another
business or organization.
• Business letters are usually keyed on letterhead.
The letterhead can consist of the business’ name,
address, phone/fax/email, and logo.
 Major Parts of a Letter
1. Return Address-the address of the person
writing the letter. Letterhead if the letter is
from a business.
2. Dateline-Complete and current date.
3. Letter Address/Inside Address-the address
of the person receiving the letter.
4. Salutation-the greeting of the letter.
Example: Dear Sir or Madam:
5. Body-the message of the letter.
6. Complimentary Close-the ending of the
letter. Example: Sincerely yours,
7. Keyed Name-the authors typed name.
8. Handwritten Signature-the author signs
the letter after it has been printed.
9. Typist Initials-initials of the typist..
Formatting a Letter
Margins: TM-2inches RM-1inch
BM-1inch LM-1inch
Block Style is one method of formatting a letter.
In this style of letter writing all parts of the letter
are keyed at the left margin.

• Paragraphs should not be indented in this style of letter.

• Use a standard font style and font size i.e. Times New
Roman/Arial and 12 point font.
• Single Space within paragraphs and double space between
paragraphs.
 Parts of a Block Style Letter

Return
address Date
Letter
address
Salutation

Body

Complimentary
Close Copy
Enclosure Writer Notation—key
notation a DS after the
last line of the
letter.
Punctuation Styles

Open Punctuation Example:

• There is not a colon or
comma in the salutation Dear Ms. Smith
and there is not a comma Sincerely yours
in the complimentary
closing.

Mixed Punctuation
Example:
n A colon is in the Dear Ms. Smith:
salutation and a comma
is in the close. Sincerely yours,
Personal—Business Letter
with Mixed Punctuation
Return Address:
The personal-business letter
uses the return address with the
dateline a single space beneath.

Mixed Punctuation:
The colon is keyed in
the salutation and the
comma is keyed in the
complimentary close.
Business Letter with
Open Punctuation
Letterhead:
The business letter uses letterhead
instead of a return address, which
consists of the business’ name,
address, phone/fax/email, and logo.

Open Punctuation:
The colon is not keyed in
the salutation and the
comma is not keyed in
the complimentary close.
 Special Letter Parts
• Typist initials are used when someone other
than the author types the letter. Typed a DS
below the writer’s name, in lowercase letters,
with no space or punctuation.
• Enclosure notation is used when additional
items are included in the envelope with the
letter.
• Attachment notation is used when additional
items are clipped, stapled, etc… to the letter.
• Copy notation is used when a copy of the
letter is sent to someone in addition to the
addressee/letter address.
Block Style Letter with Special Parts

• Typist Initial Typed a

double space below the author’s
keyed name.

• Enclosure Notation
Typed a double space below the typist
initials.

• Copy Notation Typed a

double space below the enclosure
notation.
 Notes to Remember!
• A personal business letter is correspondence sent from an individual using their home
address to a person or organization.
• A business letter is correspondence sent from a business to another business or to an
individual. Because letterhead stationery is used, the return address is not keyed.
• The top margin is usually 2“, side and bottom margins are typically 1".
• Block format is one style of writing for personal-business and business letters in which all
parts of the letter begin at the left margin.
• Typist initials are the initials of the typist and are used when someone other than the
writer prepares the letter. Lowercase letters are used, with no space, and with no
punctuation, appearing a double space below the signature.
• Enclosure/Attachment and Copy notations appear a double space below the typist initials.