This is a reproduction of a library book that was digitized

by Google as part of an ongoing effort to preserve the

information in books and make it universally accessible.

https://books.google.com
 Národní knihovna ČR
JK Historické fondy

Národní knihovna
aL 275 aj 127
TALAHARATLUMINICAINTASUOTANIKOA

1003279120
THIRU

C.R
. BIBLIOTHECA PRA
G.
LC

9.
A.5
.
 WE

DEV
cFluerm
anena SpaInLisONCapTWO rSeIIC
cy fac h e himtivbey thienDoawyIS
ieof Alger
dgi e
ng
方位 Taipty1.Paul 173 .
wz.c
hi 三个 是 …
字

*
 THE

DE VIL
UPON

TWO STICK S.
TRANSLATED

From the DIABLE BOITEAUX

OF

M. Le SAGE .
To which are prefixed
The Life of the author ,
ASMODEUS'S CRUTCHES,
A Critical Letter upon the Work ,
AND DIALOGUES

Between two Chimnies of Madrid.

Cooke's Edition .

Gesch.18 % 87 .

EMBELLISHED WITH SUPERB ENGRAVINGS .

London :
Printed for C. COOKE , No. 17, Paternofter how ,
And fold by all the Bookfellers in
Great Britain and
Ireland,
 LIFE OF MONSIEUR LE SAGE .

LAIN René Le Sage, was born at Vannes in Lower

A Brittany, in the year 1668. His father was opulent, but
he had the misfortune to loſe both him and his mother very
early in life, and at ſeven ycars of agt be was put under the
care of an uncle, who was naturally a molt indolent man .
Under ſuch a guardian , his education was neglected, and his
fortune materially injured ; inſomuch , that, at twenty - five
years of age, when he came to Paris, in 1693, it was chiefly
to be initiated in philoſophy.
Fortunately he met with excellent maſters, and having
great natural abilities , the feed which was fown in ſuch a
rich foil, produced , though late , a plentiful harveſt. Father
Bochard , the Jeſuit, ſon of the prefident of that name, who,
having quitted that ſociety, took the title of Abbé Bochard,
principal ofthe college of Vannes, attached himſelf particu
larly to Le Sage, during the time be purſued his ſtudies in
that ſeminary. Bochard took a pleaſure in itimulating and
encouraging Le Sage's inclination for the Bulles Lettres, and
greatly afſifted him in forming that pure and excellent taſte
which he afterwards fo eminently difplayed in all his works.
With an engaging perſon , an enlightened mind , and a fund
of wit, Le Sage, very ſoon after his arrival in the capital ,
was received into the politeft circles, who were delighted to
participate with him in thoſe elegant pleaſures to which his
genius always contributed in a high degret. It was probably
in one of thoſe polite circles, that an opportunity offered of
forming a connexion with a lady of faſhion , who, according
to the hiſtorians of the French theatre, would have “ fur
rendered to him both her heart and fortune." This adven.
ture was notattended with any fortunate circumſtance, and
we are left uninformed both as to the name and rank of the
heroine of this amour; but, during this intrigue, or after
wards , Le Sage became enamoured with the daughter of a
carpenter in the Rue de la Mortillerie, and having the good
fortunę to inſpire the young lady with an equal paflion , de
manded her parents' confent, and married her.
But gallantry or matrimony could not intereſt hin ſuffici.
ently to niake him forget his iends, or neglect his ſtudies .
He had particularly attached himſelf to Danchet, with whom
he had been acquainted at the college of the Jeſuits, and
whom Father Jouviny had ſent to Chartres in quality of
profeffor of rhecoric. His friend Danchet perſuaded him to
a 2 give
 iv LIFE OF LE SAGE .
give the public a tranſlation of the letters of Ariftenetus, and
undertook the care of ſeeing it printed at Chartres ; but in
the title it was marked Rotterdam , in 1695 .
It certainly does much honour to Le Sage, that he ſuffered
bimſelf so be very much influenced by his friends in his lite
rary purſuits. The Abbé de Lyenac, who was remarkably
partial to the Spanih language, and who through his whole
life evinccd a great eſteem and ſincere attachment to Le
Sage, taught him its idiom, made him familiar with the beft
writers in Caftile, and brought him at laſt to enjoy and enter
into their peculiar beauties.
A comedy of five acts, entitled " The Traitor puniſhed , "
tranſlated from the Spaniſh of Don Franciſco de Rojas, was
the firſt fruit of his lahours in a department of literature
which the French literati of the laſt century, the Voitures,
the two Corneiiles, Scarron , and others, had carefully culti
vated, but which our moderns have greatly neglected . This
tranſlation, which had notthe advantage of being repreſented
on the ſtage, was printed in 1700 , and ſerved very well
as a rough draft for the comedy of “ Treaſon punithed ,"
which Dancourt afterwards wrote in verſe. The latter piece
was acted in 1707 , but without much ſucceſs, though the
dialogue was ſprightly and well.managed, and it is on the
whole one of the beſt of the author's thyming performances.
“ Don Felix de Mendoza,” in five acts, written in profe ,
and tranſlated from the Spaniſh of De Lopez de Viga Carpio ,
remained in Le Sage's port-folio, and did not appear till he
produced it on his theatre in the year 1739. " The Point of
Honour, ” another Spaniſh tranđation was acted in 1702 ,
but went no farther than a ſecond repreſentation. There
were two circumſtances whichmilitated very ſtrongly againſt
its ſucceſs. In the firſt place, the ridiculous abſurdity of a
man who runs about enquiring into every one's quarrels, that
he may ſettle them according to his own adopted notions of
honour, is not felt among the French . In the ſecond place,
the ſubject of the drama is the ſame as Scarron's " Jodelet
Duelliſte," and the reſemblance is too palpable, not only in
the plot, but in the caſt of the parts. Le Sage imagined,
that, bycontracting the plot, reducing the piece from five to
three acts, and thus making it more lively, itwould ſucceed
better, and he accordingly riſked it at the Italian theatre,
under the title of the “ Settler of Difputes," and prefixed a
prologue ; but the public were ſtiil diſſatisfied, and would not
permit it to be played more than twice.
Upon the whole, it muſt be confeſſed that Le Sage has not
been fortunate in his choice of the pieces he tranſlated from
the Spaniſh . Perhaps the intrigue, or buſineſs, which is the
principal
 LITE OF LE SAGE ,
principal merit of their dramatic conspoſitions, loſes that
effect with us, whoſe minds are more impreiled with a fen
timental portraiture of the manners of life, and the effect
producedby the developement of characters, which ſtamps
the value of the beſt production of the immortal Moliere .
But to balance the account, every thing he took from thcir
romances had greatſucceſs .
The plot and title of the “ Devil on Crutches,” which he
publiſhed in 1707 , were taken from “ Il Diablo cojucto,” of
Lewis Veliz de Guſvaſa, which had a great run , and fur
Two young men
nifhed us with a very ſingular anecdote . who
of quality came together to the bookſeller, had them to
ſell, and wbo had but one copy left : neither would yield to
his companion , and to ſettle the diſpute they drew their
ſwords, and fought at the ſhop door till victory determined
in favour of one of them , who carried off the Devil in iri
umph . The foundation of this quarrel was trifling enough,
but, trifling as it was, it was of more importance than a
thouſand diſputes which happen every day amongſt French
men, and diſpoſe intimate friends to cut each other's throats.
This falſe courage is the diſgrace of the preſent age, buc
happily ſeems to be gradually going out of faſhion.
This celebrated book was worth more to Le Sage than all
the praiſe he met with . Dancourt, whom we have already
mentioned, and who waited with anxious expectation for any
production which Le Sage might bring upon the ſtage , ſalv
plainly, that from the fame this work had acquired , he could
extract from it two excellent ſubjects for the French co
medy. He firſt produced the “ Devil on Crutches, in one
act only, which run thirty- five nights : after that , “ The fe
cond Chapter of the Devil on Crutches,” which had a run
of twenty -two. It muſt be owned that this book deſerved
the ſucceſs it met with . It is written correctly, and with
much ſpirit ; it criticiſes every ſtation of life, and ſometimes
aſſumes the fatyrilt. The ſtrokes of wit are poignant, full
of variety and drollery. Both the living and the dead are
the objects of his fatire. The author has alſo the happy art
of introducing ſome narratives by way of epiſode, which riſe
ſo naturally out of the body of the work, that they ſerve
powerfully to intereſt the reader, and keep up his attention,
which might otherwiſe flag from a conſtant ſeries of repre
ſentations, and tire remarks they give riſc to. It was from
cne of theſe narratives, " The Hiſtory of the Amoursof the
Compte de Belflor and Leonora de Celpides,” related in the
fourth chapter, that Mouſ . de Beaumarchais, extracted his
piay of Eugenia, only transferring the ſcene from Madrid
to London .
a3 Nineteen
vi LIFE OF LE SAGL .
Nineteen years after the firſt edition of the Devil on
Crutches , Le Sage publiſhed a ſecond, to which he added
another volume . The critics did not ſeem to approve of this
ſupplement, but admitting that there ſubfifts any difference
between the firſt and ſecond production, it requires great
pentration to perceive it. He has added likewiſe the con .
verſations ſuppoſed to paſs between the chimnies ofMadrid
This little work is in the manner of the Devil on Crutches,
and may be confidered as a ſort of continuation .
The contrivance of Le Sage to weave into the texture of
his work ſome well known anecdotes of the day , contributed
in a confiderable degree to the ſucceſs of the work at its firſt
publication . For inſtance, in the chapter Petites Maiſons,
we read as follows : “ I will ſend thee a young man of
faſhion, who can never keep a ducat in his pocket ; but, as
he cannot do without money, he will do any thing to pro.
cure it . It is but a fortnight ago, that his waſherwoman , to
whom he was indebted thirty piſtoles, came to entreat him
to pay her , telling him that he wanted the money , as the
was going to be married to a valet de chambre , who courted
her . · You certainly have more money , then ,' ſaid the
gentleman , ' or where the devil could you find a valet that
would marry you for thirty piſtoles ? - yes ,' ſays ſhe , ' I
have two hundred ducats befides,' - Two hundred ducats !
ſays he, with the greateſt emotion ; come , come, give me
your two hundred ducats, and I'll marry you myſelf, and then
the debt is diſcharged .' She took him at his word, and this
waſherwoman became his bride.” When this allufion was
univerſally known, and it was recoliected that it was pre
ciſely in the ſame manner that the ſpendthrift Dufreſny, who
was juſt diad , had paid his waſherwoman, the hit was as
palpable as it was droll in its circumſtances. In the ſame
manner Ninon , in the fixth chapter of the ſecond book , re
preſented as a pretty German widow , curling her hair with
the paper which contained a promiſe of marriage one of her
lovers had given her ; the introduction of Baron , the
comedian , in the chapter on dreams , metamorphoſed, at
the council of the gods , into one of the members ; with many
other paſſages, to which we lave not the proper keys, or
which would take up too much time to narrate , contri
buted , without doubt, to produce the ſame effect. But even
in thoſe places where Le Sage does not fiem to have any
particular ohject in view , he points the fatyric ſtroke witá
ſuch judgnent as cartnot fail to admoniſh and entertain .
We niay recollect the paffage where the demon ſhows the
ſcholar a ' fine mauſoleum , « which,” ſays he', " contains
ike itrange union of a prelident of the council in the Indies,
and
 LIFE OF LE SAGE . vii
and his young wife. This preſident, in his fixty-third year
married a girl of twenty : he had already two children by a
former marriage, whom he had determined to diſinherit,
when a fit of apoplexy put an end to his life . His wife died
four and twenty bours after him , for vexation that be bad not died
three days later.
In theLetters of Jean Baptiſta Rouſſeau, we are informed
that Boileau, obſerving one day the Devil on Crutches in
the hands of his valet, threatened to diſmiſs him his ſervice
if he found that book any longer in his houſe. If it were
not for the reſpect due to ſuch a name asRouſſeau, I ſhould
look upon this ſtory as apocryphal. There is not , in the
whole of this work, any defects which could excite ſuch an
unreaſonable averfion in the mind of our great Parnallian
1
legiſlator. Both the moral and the language are equally
pure ; and if Boileau looked upon the Italian ſcenes of Gher
hardi as a “ treaſure of attic falt," certainly the “ Devil on
Crutches,” where there is not leſs of that falt, as truly
attic , is juſtly entitled to his fuffrage. Some particular
circumſtances of a private nature, or, perhaps, the diſorder
under which Monf. Deſprèaux laboured from ihe year 1706 ,
might have given that irritable turn to his temper which
provoked ſuch an ill -founded reſolution, admitting that he
perſevered in it.
The year 1707 afforded another triumph to Le Sage, but
not to complete. The comedy entitled Don Cæſar Urſin,
written in proſe, in five acts, and founded upon Calderon ,
one of the beſt of theSpaniſh dramatiſts, was played and
rejected in the city . The plot was artfully worked up ;
the diction elegant and characteriſtic ; but unfortunately the
fame ſubject had appeared upon the French ſtage three
times already. De Broffc, Abbé de Boiſrobert, as well as
Scarron , had each of them written on it in their own man
ner. It may be alledged , in excuſe of the public diſapproba
tion, that it is an improbable ſtory, and dues not accord with
the French cuſtoms; for they certainly gave a favourable
reception to “ Criſpin the Rival of his Maſter," which was
played 'after Don Cæſar Urfin ," and their applaule in
creaſed every time it was acted, and the repetition was fre
quent . It is admitted to be one of the prettieſt after- pieces
produced on the French ftage : not that the plot is eithervery
moral, or diſcovers fertility of invention, as the whole bufi.
neſs is no more than a diſplay of the art of two ſharping
footmen , one of which paſſes for maſter, and, by the con
trivanceof his comrade, deſignsto marry the lady' to whom
he is engaged, for the ſake of her fortune; but the ſcenes
are well connccted , the Gtuations admirably contraſted, and
there
 viii LIFE OF LE SAGX .
there is, upon the whole, ſomething ſo extremely comic and
ſprightly, and, at the ſame time, ſo natural in the dialogue
of the actors, that , without being deeply intereſted , an au.
dience cannot tail of being highly entertained .
lc appears to me, that the ſcene in this little piece where 8

La Branche, ſearching his pockets for his maſter's letter,

pretends to read a numbór of other directions, " To Monſ.
Coquet, Phytician Rue St. Sepulchre ; to Mr. Bredoullier,
Counſellor to the Parliament rue de mauvaiſe Paroles , " gave
riſe to the numberleſs jokes upon directions which have
been often attempted ſince, without much effect ; for, if
there is any merit in this ſort of witticiſmi, it is in the in
vention , imitation being ſo eaſy , muſt be wholly excluded
from merit .
Le Sage declared that “ Don Cæfar Urfin ,” having bein
perform cd at court with Criſpin Rival, nearly at the ſame
time as it was played in the city, met with a very different
reception . They highly applauded Don Cæſar, and hifled
Criſpin as vehemently. 'But this is not the only inſtance of
the caprice or oppoſite deciſion of an audience, with regard
to theatrical pieces. Time has, in general,confirmed the de
ciſion of the citizens, and annulled that of the court party :
Soon after this Le Sage compoſed his “ Turcaret," which
he found more eaſy to introduce to the manager than the
public. He had given in to the faſhion of private readings,
in ſelect parties , which are always leſs a compliment to
thejudgmentof the audience, than the vanity of the author,
and are uſually productive of unpleaſant conſequences.--
The financiers , men of influence , who have always great
weight with the actors, rouſed by the geport of theſe read
ings, to which they were averſe, formed a cabal among the
actreffes, againſt Le Sage's play, and nothing leſs than an
expreſs order from Monſeigneur himſelf, could obviate this
impediment to its repreſentation . This circumſtance is
noted in the regiſter of the play, in the year 1708, in theſe
words. “ There has been ſome difficulty to procure the
repreſentation of the comedy called Turcaret, which wasre
ceived by order of Monſeigneur, 13th October, 1708, couclied
in the following termis. Monſeigneur having been infornied
that the king's conipany of comedians make an objection to
acting a piece called Turcaret, or the Financier, commands
the faid comedians to get up the ſaid play, and bring it on
the ſtage immediately . '
On the fourteenth of February , in the year following, it
made its appearance on the ſtage, when the incellant thouts
of applauſe entirely ſilenced the nurmurs of the diſſatisfied ,
and totally diſconcerted the oppoſite party . Le Sagejoine
had
d
 LIFE OF LL SAGE . ix
joinedtohisplay ," TheCriticiſm oftheDevilon Crutches
upon Turcaret, " which he introduced in form of a dialogue
hetween Don Cleofas and Aſmodeus ; the beginning ſerved
for the prologue, and the conclufion for the epilogue. Theſe
were afterwards omitted in the repreſentation, but are pre .
ſerved in the printed copy.
Never were financiers ſo lampooned , fo ridiculed , fo vi .
lified,and expoſed, as in this play. The following are the
characters introduced into it : Monf. Turcaret, che hero
of the piece, is ſuppoſed to have been originally a lacquey,
but now become a rich financier, a weak, inſolent, cowardly,
hard-hearted uſurer, ridiculoufy prodigal and debauched.
He diſdains even to ſee his fifter, and keeps his wife con
cealed in country . He has all the vices and follies of
the day, even to that of making bad verſes. Every one who
approaches him , and every concurring circumſtance, con
tributes to render him more vile and deteſtable. His miſtreſs
is repreſented as a baroneſs, a kind of adventurer, depende
ing on her beauty for ſupport, and pretending an attachment
to him , folely with a view to plunder him . She has a
gamefter for her lover, a fop, without principlc , good
breeding, or common honeſty, whom , nevertheleſs, the
doats upon, in ſpite of the diffuafive lectures of an artful
waiting woman, who is greatly mortified to ſee all the ſpoils
of the financier paſs into the pocket of the ſharper , without
her miſtreſs participating in the booty. Frontin , the che
valier's valet, isan egregious villain , whom theyhave con
trived to introduce into the ſervice of the taxgatherer, in
lieu of aſturdy Fleming, to whom Turcaret has given a
place. This Frontin prevails on the baroneſs to take into
her ſervice, in the room of her former fille de chambre, a
girl named Liſetta , whom he is in love with, and who falls
into all their ſchemes, from a vicw to her own perſonal ad
vantage. A friend of this chevalier, an inſignificant petit
maitre of a marquis, a ſot, a gamefter, and greatly en
cumbered with debts. One Rafile, an agent for Monf.
Turcaret, in his uſuries. A counterfeit ſerjeant. A woman
whoſets up for a counteſs, but proves to be the daughter of
a paftrycook , and wife to his agent, and a Madame Jacob, a
jobbing milliner, who is daughter and fifter to a farrier,
make up the dramatis perſone of this comedy:
The bufineſs of the piece is not intereſting : Turcaret,
doating on the baroneſs, laviſhes immenſe ſums upon her ,
and neglects to pay his wife's penſion in the country, Upon
this the comes to Paris, treats every one the meetswith con
tempt, particularly the little marquis, whoſe father her
huſband had provided for. The marquis invites her to ſup
per
 LIFE OF LE SAGE .
per at the baroneſs's, where her huſband and ſiſter - in -law
happen to be preſent, the one to diſpoſe of ſome ornaments,
and the other as patron de la calle. Diſcovering each other,
a ſcene of mutual reproach enſues, with much acuteneſs and
drollery, which is ſuddenly interrupted by the entrance of
two of Monf. Turcaret's intimates, wbo ſeize and carry him
to jail. Frontin takes advantage of the confuſion , and robs
his old maſter, his new one, and the coquette, by keeping
ſeveral notes which he had received from them for different
commiſſions
Such is the outline of the piece, where there is neither
plot, developement, nor cataſtrophe; for it is not for the
debts he has incurred on the baroneſs's account that Turca
ret is apprehended ,but becauſe he had been bail for a banker
who had gone off with two hundred thouſand crowns.
The ſcenes, for the mott part epiſodical, are introduced with .
out regard to order or ſucceflion. The perſonages of the
dramaſeem to be oberuded, frequently, without any neceſ
ficy for their appearance. Raffle has nothing to do at the
houſe of the baroneſs ; Madame Jacob ought not to have
appeared there a ſecond time ; the marquis and the counteſs
are brought in by mere accident to a ſupper of private invi.
tation ; and even Frontin cannot depend upon his lie , " chat
the creditors had ſearched him, and carried off all he had
got,” ſufficiently to enſure him potreſſion of his late theft.
It appears too plainly that the truth muſt be developed ,and,
conſequently, that he muſt refund. But the defects in
the plot are amply compenſated by the plauſibility of the
details ; by the comic effect of the different ſituations into
which the characters are thrown , as well as their being ex.
tremely natural ; by the drollery and poignancy ofthe jokes ;
and by a freedom and force of expreffion , which thew the
man of genius in full diſplay, and prove hinı to be a per.
fect maſter of his ſubject.
The ſeverity of the farcaſms, and the indignation with
which Le Sage has expoſed the financier to the contempt of
theworld,have inducedmany to ſuſpect him of indulging
private pique and perſonalreſentment. It has been ſaid that
a Farmer General, having deprived him of a poſt which he
held, Turcaret was the inſtrument of vengeance. But this
does not appear to be well founded ; for the man who could
declare that the favours of the great are only to be obtained
by aſſiduity and attention, by intrigues, which are foftened
into the appellation of neceſſary meaſures , but which are , in
fact, ſo many deviations from rectitude ; and who ſaid in
confidence to his friends, “ I have refuſed places that have
been offered me, where ſome men would have made their
Qitunet,
 LIFE OF LE SAGE
fortunes, but would never have procured me a ſhilling, be
cauſe my principles are too honeft .” Such a man , who reaſons
in this manner,eſpecially a ſcholar, can never have been very
urgent to obtain a place, nor much hurt at being diſmiſſed.
It is very certain our author was no courtier. He was once
defired to give a reading of his Turcaret at the hotel of the
Ducheſs of Bouillon . The day and hour were appointed,
when, unfortunately, the deciſion of a law -ſuit, in which
the future happineſs of his life was concerned , by a concur
rence of circumſtances, happened to come on exactly at the
hour of appointment with the duchefs. Le Sage preferred
going to attend bis cauſe to his viſit at the hotel, where, in
ftead of twelve o'clock , he did not arrive till two. He told
his ſtory, andmade a thouſand apologies, which the ducheſs,
nevertheleſs, did not receive with complacency,but informed
him , in a tone of hauteur, that the company had loſt two
hours in waiting for him. « Madame,” ſaid he, “ if I have
been the occaſion of your company's loſing two hours, I can
very eaſily reſtore them the time they have loſt, by not read
ing my piece ; and, in de fiance of all they could ſay to de.
tain him, he abruptly left the room , nor would he ever ap
pear at the hotel again , though frequently applied to.
When we confider how much Le Sage has done for the
French ſtage, we cannot but regret that he did not entirely
devote histalentsto its ſervice. The delay of his“ Tontine,"
a little extempore piece of one act, with a good plot, and
fprightly dialogue, received in 1708, but not brought on the
Itage till 1732, joined to the raillery and jokes he vays
paſſed on the players, afforded reaſon to think that he had
fonae cauſe to complain of them. It is not improbable that
either the aſſumed importance, or ſome' haſty dogmatical
decifion , of the dramatic fanhedrim , might have given him
a diſguſt for the ſtage . People who indulge in the gratifi
rion of their humour are uſually expoſed to theſe diſagree
able circumſtances ; the uſual confequence of a diſagreement
between two profeſſions of unconquerable vanity ; for mo
defty is neither the foible of actors, nor the virtue ofauthors.
Le Sage reſumed his romances, and Gil Blas de Santillane
ſtamped his reputation. This is a work of infinite merit,
calculated to pleaſe the learned , the unlearned, and people in
every rank in life. The narrative, pure and ſprightly, inter
mixed with ſtories well related, and of very different turns,
attracts the attention of the firſt claſs. The frequent imita
tion of the ancients, ſuch as the Adventure of the Cavern ,
taken from Apuleius' Golden Aſs, the Fable of the Pig, from
Phædrus, with ſomepointed ſtrokes happily applied , render
r the book valuable to the ſecond claſs of readers. And the
1 third
 xii LITE OR CE SAGE .
third meet with an exhibition of portraits ſo juſtly drawr,
that underevery one of them theſpectator could write the
name . All Paris know that Doctor Sangrado was no other
than the famous Helvetius. The pocts, the actors and
actreſſes, and other celebrated characters of both ſexes, are
there delineated with the Spaniſh pencil, and ſeveral French
anecdotes are thus related in the Caſtilian ſtyle and manner ;
for Gil Blas, after having received a good education , failing
into the hands of a banditii, froni whom he makes his eſcape,
paſſes ſucceſſively into the ſervice ofa canon , a phyſician, a
philoſopher, a petit maitre, an actreſs, a young lady of qua
lity, an old nobleman, and a lady of faſhion who keeps an
office for witticiſms; then becoming ſteward to a grandee of
Spain , ſecretary to the Archbiſhop of Grenada, afterwards to
a Portugueſc Marquis, then the principalagent of a Sicilian
Count, the ſame Gil Blas at laſt becomes conimiſſary and fa
vourite of the Duke of Lernia, a ſtate priſoner, and finiſhes
his career hy retiring into the country; thus paſſing through
every ſtation of life,and deſcribing the manners of cach rank
and condition ,with fo faithfuland pictureſquea pencil,hemuſt
certainly amuſe and intereſt the maſs of readers with whom
he by turns puts himſelf on a level, and whether they be
maſters or ſervants, makes them his intimates . He has
therefore been tranſlated into almoſt every language, and
paſſed through a great number of French editions. Le Sage
at firſt publiſhed only three volumes, but afterwards added
a fourth. It is inferior to the preceding, though we find in
it the ſame eaſy ſtyle, and frequently his ſtriking delineation
of character ; but he has loſt his fornier vigour ; he only
walks where he uſed to fly. The author of the Effay on
Taſte, ſpeaking of this fourth volume of Gil Blas, ſays, " This
volumebeing leſs laboured than the fornier three, is received
by the world like a woman who was once very handſome, but
whoſe beauty is evidently impaired by the ravages of time.”
Perhaps the ſame diſguſt and reſentment againſt the players,
which induced Le Sage to reſume his novel writing, chrew
him into a line which he at firſt held in contempt , I niean
what he wrote for the fairs. In his critique upon Turcaret,
by the Devil on Crutches , he makes Don Cleofas ſay to Al
niodeus, " What a fine aſſembly ! What a number of fine
ladics !” Aſmodeus anſwers, “ There would be many more
if it was not for the pieces played at the fair; but the ladies
feem all mad after that diverſion. I am deliglated to ſee
them all chus entering into the taſte of theirlacqueys and
coachmen .” Who would believe that any writer, after ex
prelling himſelf in this manner, could employ himſelf for
five or fix and twenty years in writing for a thcatre, where
the
 LIFE OF LE SAGE .
the audience conſiſted of footmen and coachmen, and fine
ladies who had no better taſte than their fervants ? Yet ſo it
was. Whether the little ſatisfaction he found in pillaging
romances (for that is the nomme de gairèe, or nick name of
the French actors for theſe foreign pieces) made him neglect
all other purſuits ; or that pecuniary emolument, which muſt
be attended to by an author who has a family to maintain,
having at firſt attached him to tha: line, fixed hini in it after
wards, he certainly devoted himſelf to the fairs ;and as a man
of genius can always be traced in any thing he undertakes,
he certainly was the fabricator, if not the inventor, of a third
ſpecies of mixed drama, ſo well known in the preſent day ,
0
under the title of the Comic Opera. The hiſtory of its riſe
is fimply this .
1
.
There are two fairs held at Paris, one in an encloſure
$
nearly in the beart of the city, which is called the fair of St.
Germain , and the other in the ſuburb of St. Laurence, which
is therefore named after that faint. For a confiderable tine
the trades- people only, for whom they were at firſt ap
pointed, reaped any advantage from them ; but as the num
ber of inhabitants increaſed with the extent of the city, and
e
grew like that,almoſt inimenfe, they began at firſt to exhibit
38
wild beaſts, and afterwards other animals, taught to play
tricks for the entertainment of the people. T'inding how
-
well this attempt ſucceeded, they ſoon added dancing and
tumbling, and between theſe dancings and tumblings, they
introduced a few ſcenes in proſe , as indifferently com
0 poſed as they were acted . By degrees theſe actors im
-1
proved ,abler authors were choſen, and all Paris went to the
5
fair . The French players inſtead of endeavouring to fill their
own houſe, by ſuperiority of acting, and the production of
7!
the beſt pieces, thought itmore eligible to plead the privi
lege of their parent againſt theſe interlopers. Accordingly
they went into court, and, in confequence, the proprietors of
S
Y
the exhibitions at the fair had many deciſions and arreſts
11
againſt them , and every time they were caſt they were
obliged to make ſome alteration in their exbibitions, in order
1, to elude the law, ſo that the public , curious to know the re
ſult, ran in crowds to the fair.
The intruders being prohibited to introduce dialogue on
-
their ſtage, had recourſe to foliloquies, ſpeaking behind the
$ ſcenes, to rantomime, to puppets , and written parts. This
d
laſt fubterfuge, which the Comic Opera had ricourſe to in its
infancy , requires explanation . On the actors appearing on
the ſtage, a brace of Cupids deſcended from the ceinture,
1 who unfolded a paper, on which were written, in characters
e large cnough to be read hy the audience , a ſtanza of a fong,
b and
 xiv LIFE OF LE SAGE .
and the name of the actor who ought to have ſung it. The
orcheſtra played the air, the people knowing, or catching
the tune, ſung the couplet, while the actor in dumb ſhew
performed his part. This invention , we may very well ſup.
poſe, was not unfavourably received by a nation who are all
fingers. The memoirs which recount the hiſtory of the cif
ferent exhibitions at the fair , attribute this invention to
Meſſrs. Chaillot and Remey,one Surveyor of the Wood
Aſſize, the otber Regiſter a l'Hotel de Ville. They were,
fay the authors of the memoirs, two unknownphiloſophers.
Whether they were known or not, if they really firſt ſtruck
out the idea, the people were much obliged to them . Le
Sage, however, brought it to perfection. Harlequin , King
of Serendib , taken from the Arabian Tales, met with afto
nifhing ſucceſs, wbich alſo attended Harlequin Thetis, and
Harlequin Inviſible. But Le Sage did not ſtop here. From
the pleaſure he perceived the people took in ſinging the
written couplets, without any other inconvenience than mu
tually ſtunning each other, he eaſily concluded that they
would be much more delighted with hearing them ſung with
tafte , expreſſion,and propriety by the actor to whom the
part belonged. The proprietors of the fair, therefore, en
tered into an agreement with thoſe of the Opera -houſe, who
granted them the privilege of ſinging on their ftage, by virtue
of their own excluſive right ; and from that time the the
atre , and the pieces performed in it, had the title of the
Comic Opera .
The Fair of Guibray, ” by way of prologue, followed by
Harlequin Mahomet, taken from the Arabian Tales, and the
Tomb of Noftrodamus, with which Le Sage made his debût,
fixed the attention of the public in a moſt intereſting degree.
In 1710 Monſ. Petit de la Croix had tranſlated the « Thou
fand and one Nights .' He deſired Le Sage to reviſe the
ſtyle, who corrected, or to ſpeak more properly, re -wrote
the book. The Tonib of Noſtradamus, at the commence
ment , reminds you of Roland Amoureux, but the ſubject is
happy, and the ſcenes are asjudicious as the ſongs are ſtriking.
We ſhall not follow Le Sage in detail of all the pieces
which he produced at this theatre, from 1712 or 1713to 1738.
They reckon 88 in all , 29 of which he executed alone, 23
with d'Orneval, 32 with Fuzelier, one with d'Orneval and
Anſtreau, and another with d'Orneval and Piſon , one with
La Font, and, at the laſt, one with Fromaget. Suffice it to
fay, that he had ſo completely caught the taſte of the public,
that not one of his pieces, nor even any one that he was con
cerned in , ever failed of ſucceſs; many of them had an aſto
niſhing run, for there were in them alwaysſuch a brilliant flow
of
 LITE OF LE SAGE . XV
of wit, ſuch livelineſs and force of humour, thatthey were
oftentimes taken from the booths at the fair, and played at
the theatre of the Palais Royal, where Madame and Mon
legneur, the regent of France, by the extreme pleaſure they
evinced , plainly demonſtrated to the author, that he had
found out the happy and rare ſecret of being at once poignant
and natural, droll without buffoonery, and, though full of
lively fallies, always decent.
He took the ſubjects of his pieces from every quarter :
from the circle of ſociety, from the events of the day, from
fable, and even from fairy.land. He availed himſelf of every
thing, and was fingularly happy, by an art of bis own, in
arranging the parts, and adapting them to each other. He
uſually choſe a ſubject, ſimple in itſelf, and related in few
words with great concifion , keeping ſubordinate the con
tinuity of the ſcenes. He brings the players forward into
action , and renders each ſcene like the whole piece, perfect :
that is to ſay, he pues the moſt prominent features in the
Itrongeſt light, and the leſs intereſting in the back ground.
His verſes have an eaſy turn and happy effect, and his ideas
are neither ftrained nor ludicrous. Heabounds in ſallies and
contraſt of character. It is worthy of remark , that in the
“ Fair of the Fairies," Monſ. Chevillard, a mad poet, gives
notice, that “ he intends turning the Portugueſe letters into
verſe ," a deſign which had been executed by Monf. Doral of
our time, according to the hint of good Maſter Chevillard ,
which ſhews that ridicule does not ſuit all men , of all
times alike .
If what has been ſaid , in akind of hiſtorical preface to an
edition , in three volumes, of the “ Bachelor of Salamanca,"
that Monf. Voltaire affected to have no great opinion of
Le Sage, be as true as probable, it will not be difficult to
account forit. In che «Templede Mémoire,” Le Sage in
troduces a furious partizan of that celebrated writer, as de
termining to marry Folly, ( the name of his idol) whom
he miſtakes for Glory. Now, as the philoſopher was very
irritable, it is very natural to ſuppoſe he could never applaud
any thing that came from the pen of a man who had pre
fumed to laugh a little at hin and his extravagant admirers.
The Comic Opera did not, however , folely engage our au
thor's attention ; he found leiſure for other works. He
tranſlated, from the Italian of Boyardi l' Orlando Inamorato,
under the title of Roland l'Amoureux, and produced it in
verſe in the year 1717. He formed a deſign, which did not
take place, of tranſlating che celebrated Arioſto ; and he
judged very properly in beginning with the Compte de
Scandiano, for we cannot ſo readilyenter into the picrits of
b 2 the
 Xvi LIFE OE LESAGE .
the Orlando Furioſo, if we have not previouſly read the
Amoroſo , part of the adventures of the former being a con
tinuation of thoſe related in the latter. This poem , the
chief merit of which conſiſts in the ſublime, extenſive, and
inexhauſtible imagination of the poet, has perbaps acquired
conſiderable advantage by paſſing through the hands of Le
Sage. The geographical errors are corrected, the burleſque
on the characters is ſoftened , and probability is more kept
in view . Charlemaigne is leſs trifling, Ferragus leſs brutal,
Renaud more civil, Roland leſs fierce, &c. It is true he
makes Altolphe more of the Gaſcon , Fleur de Lys more
daring , & c . In other reſpects we find the confuſion and
pompolity of theformer ſtyle totally rejected in this trans
lation, which throughout is correct, flowing, and elegant.
If Le Sage, who carefully finiſhed whatever he wrote,
tas, nevertheleſs, produced a variety of literary perform
ances, it was perhapsowing to the happineſs he enjoyed in
his family. He had by his wife three ſonsand a daughter.
This amiable woman poffeffed the moſt ardent affcction for
him , and fondneſs for her children , and partook with her
hufband in the care of their education. He ſcarcely ever
went abroad , and never returned to his houſe but with de
light. But, alas ! what mortal can ſay that his happineſs ſhall
be permanent ! His eldeſt ſon , whom he intended for the
law , gave him the greateſt uneaſineſs, by an unſurmountable
attachment to the ſtage, which profeſſion he actually em
braced , although there was not one to which his father had
so great an averfion .
Young Le Sage made his debût on the French ſtage in the
part of Maſcarille,in“ L'Etourdi,”the8thof May,1726.
He ſeemed to give promiſe of confiderable talents in his line,
but it was yet only promiſe, and in the capital theyexpect a
finiſhed ſtyle of acting. The young performer, therefore,
went for two years into the provinces, and aſſumed the name
of Montmenil. At the end of that period he returned to
Paris, and played a ſecond time on the 18th of May, 1728 ,
was niuch admired, and enrolledin theliſt of the company
the 7th of Junefollowing. For a long time his father could
not pardon thcſtep he had taken . It was in vain to commend
his acting, or mention the applauſe he received ; nor could
the old man hear even of his good character, and modeft
behaviour, without ſenſible regret.
Example influences, and ſometimes amends, which was
now the caſe in the family of Le Sage. His ſecond fon,far
from treading in the ſteps of his elder brother , took orders
and became eminent for the practice of every virtue incum
bent on men of his profeſſion. He obtained a canonry at
Boulogne
 LIFE OF LE SAGE . xvii
Boulogne- ſur -Mer, where, as ſoon as he was known, he
was univerſally beloved and reſpected.
The third ſon, on the contrary, was no ſooner of an age
to think of a plan of life, than, reduced by the reſpect paid to
his brother Montmenil,and other advantages which he ſeemed
to enjoy, he alſo went on the boards, aſſumed the name of
Pittence, and played in the country ; but it appears that he
came back to Paris in 1734, for thewriter of the hiſtory of
the theatre at the Fair informs us , that in that year they per
formed “ Le Miroir Veridique,” at St. Germains, a farce
which is nothing more than the “ Statue Menrilleux,” re
duced to one act by Piltence, an itinerant comedian . But
neither as an author, nor as a player , would his name have
ever emerged from obſcurity, if 'nothing elſe had made it
known,
The daughter ofLe Sage, by a filial attachment which ne
1 ver abated, conſoled her father in his diſappointment, and
made him amends for all he ſuffered on account of his ſons.
r Le Sage, even from his youth , had frequent ſymptoms of
1 deafneſs. In 1709 this malady was much increaſed ; hemen
1 tions the circumſtance in the prologue to his Turcaret. It
came at laſt to ſuch a huight, that he could not hear without
the affiftance of an ear-trumpet. In this deplorable ficuation ,
reading and literary purſuits ſupplied the want of thofu en
joyments which he could no longer partake of in ſociety.
Monf. de Bremont had tranſlated Guſman d'Alfarache,
from the Spanish, and, to the numberleſs moral ſentiments
of the original, had added ſeveral more of his own, ſo that
EC the narrative, from ſuch a redundancy of moral reflections,
5 became ſo heavy, as to appaland tireche patience of the moſt
determined reader. Our author reſolved upon writing this
3 romance over again , publiſhed it , in 1732 , in two volumes,
4 and in its new dreſs it became an entertaining work. The
ſame year he produced the “ Adventures of the Chevalier de
Beaucheſne, in which he has ſo well preſerved the coſtume,
and deſcribed the manners of the characters introduced in
the hiſtory, that we are at aloſs to know whetherwe are read
ing a fiction or a true ſtory . Theſe adventures are, in ſome
parts, highly intereſting : the character of the Chevalier is
Itrongly marked , and highly finiſhed - healways engages our
attention ; but the epiſodes put us out of patience ; we can
not bear to be interrupted in a ſeries of adventures , where
the hero of the piece inſpires us with the moſt affectionate
Tegard . Le Sage pretends to have written this piece from
ſome memoirs of Monf. de Beaucheſne, which he received
froa his widow,
b3 He
xvili LIFE OF LE SAGE .
He next compoſed his “ Batchelor of Salamanca , " which
racher falls off from his former pieces. L'Abbé des Fon
taines commended it highly ; but it was only for the pleaſure
of introducing a criticiſm on Marivaux and ' l'Abbé Prevoſt.
However, he ſtill exerciſes his pen with freedom , he has no
fuperfluous words, no laboured phraſes, or quaint terms;
but there is nothing new in the arrangement, and the in
vention is poor. There was no neceffity for tranſporting his
reader to Mexico , to thew him what he might have ſeen
any where elſe. Perhaps we muſt not give entire credit to
what we read in the hiftoric account before-mentioned,
“ that Le Sage looked upon his Bachelor of Salamanque as
his maſter -piece." His taſte ſurvived his genius : Le Sage
always preſerved the former, even in the decay of the
latter, and it is ſcarce probable that any parental prejudice
for his laſt productions, thould blind an author to the de
gree which the editor of the account ſuppoſes. Cornielle in
diſputably allowed that Agtfiiaus & Pulcherie had many
beauties ; but when he was to determine which he thought
the beſt of his tragedies, he named Rodigune or Cinna.
I forgot to notice his tranſlation , in two volumes, of “ the
new adventures of Don Quixote," from Avellanida. I might
perhaps have paſſed it by on purpoſe, as I might alſo chuſeto
avoid Ipeakingof his “ Eftevanille," which appears to me, if
I may uſe ſo trifling an expreſſion , to be made up of the dregs
of his imagination .
After this laſt work, Le Sage thought of nothing more
than how he ſhould paſs the remainder of his days. He for
gave, and received into his good graces, his eldeſt ſon, who
made the moſt tender andobliging return to his father's kind.
nefs . The firſt journey which he took to Boulogne- ſur-Mer,
had brought them together, and this reſpectable actor, con
centrating himſelf, as it were, in the bofom of his family, had
not a more intimate friend than his father , nor any fociety
to which he was more attached than that of his mother and
fifter. Le Sage would not leave him. When the ſon went
to the theatre, in the evening, the only amuſement of the
father was to go to a coffee-houſe in the Rue Saint Jaques,
where a crowd of people came to liſten to his converſation .
They uſed to make a circle round him , they even got upon
the chairs and tables to hear bim the better ; whilft he, with
a clear voice, and brilliant clocution, exprcffing the moſt
bappy ideas , with a fine flexible cadence, excited the fame
attention , and ſometimes reccived an equal applauſe from
this ſelect affembly, as Montmenil did on the Itage when
be played the valet or the clown, parts wbich be ſupported
with a degres of excellence whichwill never be forgotten .
This
 LIFE OF LE SAGE .
This ſon, fo deſervedly dear to his father, and now the
foundation of his happineſs, for the little time he had to live,
having gone one day on a hunting party , was attacked by a
violent diſorder onhis return , ofwhich he died ſuddenly at
Villetce , the 8th of September 1743. His death was as a
thunderſtroke to his father, who remained truly inconſolable.
He returned immediately with his wife and daughter to his
fecond ſon the canon , where he lived till the 17th of Novem .
ber 1747, in a ſtate of dejection much indeed to be pitied.
He was near 80years ofage when he died, and the following
epitaph was written for him , which I tranſcribe, having heard
of no other..
* sous ce Tombean qit Le Sage abattu ,
" Par le cifeau de la Parque importune,
“ sil ne fait pas amiae lafortunez,
" Il fait toujours ami de la vertu .
In Engliſh .
" Beneath this tomb in Gience lies
" Le Sage, to ruthlefs fate a prize ,
$" Fair
Though Fortune's
Virtue's friendfriendſhip
he lived was
and denied
died . '

N. B. The reader will find, in the following letter, ſome

particulars which I have not introduced in the life : they
come from the pen of one who is an honour both to learning
and to armas
Paris, Jan.20 , 1783 .
You requeſted me, Sir, to give you ſomelittle account of
the laſt moments of the celebrated author of Gil Blas and
many other much efteemed writings. The following is all
in my power to preſent you with.
After the battle of Fontenoy, towards the latrer end of
the year 1745,the late king having given me a command
under Marſhall Richelieu , ſome particular buſineſs, joined
to freſh orders, detained nie ac Bologne -ſur-Mer, where I
remained commandant in Boulonois, Ponthien , and Picar.
die. Having been informed that Monf. Le Sage , near 80
years of age, with his wife; nearly at the ſame advanced
period, lived at that time in Boulogne, one of the firſt things
I thought of, was to go to ſee him , and inform myſelf of kis
Gituation. I found them at their ſon's houſe, the canon of
the cathedral of Boulogne ; and never was filial piety more
attentively exerciſed , to ſweeten the laſt days of a father and
mother, who had no other reſource than the fender revenue
of their fon .
Monſ. l'Abbé Le Sage enjoyed the higheſt reputation at
Boulogne. His learning, his virtues, and his entire devo
won to be ſervice of bis neighbours, made bim dear and va
luable
 xx LIFE OF LE SAGE .
luable to Monſeigneur du Preffy, his worthy biſhop, as well
as to all his brethren in the ſociety. I ſcarcely ever ſaw a
ſtronger likeneſs than between the Abbé Le Sage and his
brother Montmenil. He poffeffed even ſome of his talents,
and moſt amiable accompliſhments. No one read verſe more
agreeably. He poſſeſſed the art of varying the tone of voice,
and making proper and ſhort pauſes, which , without amount
ing to declamation, impreſs upon the bearers the ſentimenes
and beauties which characteriſe the work .
I had known Montmenil and pitied him , and I now felt
ſo much eſteem and friendſhip for his brother, that , upon
my repreſenting his ſituation and ſmall income to the late
queen, he was pleaſed to grant him a penfion on a bene
fice ,
I had been apprized not to viſit Monſ. Le Sage till near
the middle of the day ; and the old gentleman gave me any
opportunity of obſerving, a ſecond time, the effect which the
ſtate of the atmoſphere has upon our organs of life in the de
cline of years.
Monf. Le Sage, when he awoke in the morning, as ſoon
as the ſon had riſen ſome degrees above the horizon, gradi!
ally became enlivened, both in his intellectual and corporcal
powers, in proportion as that planet approximated to the me
ridian . But when it hegan to deſcend weſterly , the old man's
feelings and perceptionsdiminiſhed, and ſeemed to keep pace
with its declenſion ;* and when the ſun had actually de
ſcended ſome degrees below the horizon , M. Le Sage fell into
a kind of Lethargy, from which they did not chuſe to diſturb
him . I took particular care , cherefore, only to viſit him in
thoſe hours of the day when his intellects were moſt clear,
and this generally happened ſoon after hehad dined . I could
not help viewing this old man with a kind oftender affection ,
when I ſaw him ſtill preſerve the cheerfulneſs and urbanity
of his youth, and ſometimes cven diſplaying the lively tancy
of the author of the Diable Boiteaux," and " Turcarec. "
But one day, happening to viſit him later thau uſual, I ſaw
with much concern, that his converſation began to reſemble
the laſt homily of the archbiſhop of Grenada, and I took my
leave .
* It is worthy of remark , that the intellectual powers of our great poet
Milton were as much affected by the periodical fuccefiion of the ieafons,' as
thoſe of Le Sage were by the periodical fucceffion of the time ; tor it is re .
corded, in the life of Milton , prefixed to our edition of his works , " that his
poetic vein never happily flowed but from the autumnal equinox to the vernale
and that whatever he attempted at other times was never to his fatisfaction
though he courted his fancy ever ſo much ; fo that, in all the years he was
about his poem of Paradise Lost , he may be faid to have ipent only half his
time therein .
"M. Le
 LIFE OF LE SAGE . xxi
M. Le Sage was become extremely deaf ;-1 generally
found him feated near a table, whereon lay his ear-trumpet.
This trumpet, which he ſometimes caught up with great
vivacity , was ſuffered to lay very quietly on the table when
he expected no great entertainment from the converſation of
his vifitors. As commandant of the province, I had the fac
tisfaction to obſerve that he always paid me the compliment
to make great uſe of it during my viſit, which was agood
leſſon of inſtruction how to bear with the petulant activity
of this ſaid machine, ſoon after in the hands ofmy illuſtrious
and valuable friend and fellow ſoldier, Monſ. de la Con.
damine,
Monſ. Le Sage died during the winter of 1746 and 1747.
I thought it both a duty and an honour to aſſiſt at his fu
neral, with the principal officers under my command. His
widow ſurvived him but a very little time, and the worthy
Abhé Le Sage was deſervedly lamented , fome few years after,
by his whole chapter, and by that enlightened society who
looked up to him with admiration, on account of hismany
virtues.
I have the honour to be ,
With all poflible eſteem ,
Sir,
Your very humble and obedient Servant,
LE COMPTE DE TRESSAN,
Lieut. Gen. in the King's troops, and Member of
the French Academy,and the Academy of Sciences.
 ASMODEUS'S CRUTCHES.

SIR,
I TAKE this opportunity ofacquainting you, that there is
publiſhed a new edition of the Devil upon Two Sticks.
Notwithſtanding the antipathy that all mankind have con
ceived, ever ſince the original fin of Adam , againſt the
race of fallen angels, every body loves Aſmodeus. He is
read, he is carefied; never was devil fo fondled . True it is,
he might have appeared to Cleofas under a ſomewhat more
gracious figure ;,ſuchas the potts repreſent him, whenhe
is introvuced urtder the fpecious appellation of Cupid. But
he ſcorned to uſe any diſguiſe to his deliverer, and thewed
himſelf, therefore, i'i all his original uglineſs , as a proof he
had a mind to deal fincerely with him ; and an inſtance of
ſincerity it was , not very common ; for how many lovers
are there who never had once an opportunity of beholding
the faces of their miſtreſſes only in their native, and without
borrowed charms ? and, after all, ſuch as we ſee him , he ap
pears more like the God of Pleaſure, than in all thoſe beauties
and graces the ancients have beſtowed upon him , when they
equip him as the God of Love : and his mantle, with its inge
nious emblems, becomes him better than the fillet, thegilded
wings, and the founding quiver.
In other refpects, the fine moral character he ſuſtains, and
the vaſt ſen and diſcernment he ſhows in the courſe of his
obfervations, do more than compenſate for the deformity of
his perſon. He acquits himſelf religiouſly of the promiſe he
made Don Cl ofas, does him moſt important ſervice, and
diſcovers nothing of that falſehood and deceit, for which the
inhabitants of his country are rendered ſo juſtly infamous.
In point of fenſe and diſcernment, he ſupportsnobly the repu .
tation of his brother dæmons ; he ſhews as much diſcretion
as we could well expect from the whole ſociety together ;
of which there needs be no other proof than what he ſays
on the ſubject of his own quarrel with Pillardoc. “ After
which ," ſays he, “ our friends reconciled us, we embraced ,
and have cheriſhed a morial hatred againſt each other ever
fince.” This hint leaves more to the imagination than can
be expreſſed by words ; and you will find an hundred ſuch
other instances in the remarks he makes on the folly and
vices of mankind .
Can the foibles of men be expoſed with more ſenſe or more
force of ridicule than he has expreſſed ? No ; his paintings
are
 ASMODEUS'S CRUTCHES. xxiii
are all finiſhed. When I repreſent to myfelf this dæmon ,
haling on his crutches ,I cannot belp conſidering thoſe fenfible
and ſatirical ſtrokes of ridicule with which he every now and
then laſhes the follies and vices of mankind, as ſo many parts
of the crutches, which he beftows on ſuch as he thinks de
3
ferve them ; and, notwithſtanding the careleſs air he puts on ,
as if feemingly he intended only amuſement, he never miſſes,
or ſtrikes in the wrong place : bis arrows are fure, and hit
the mark .
2
33
Doubtleſsthe young gentleman improved more in one night
from the inſtructions of Aſmodeus, than he had done all his
life before from the lectures of the doctors of Alcala . Theſe
7
people , by their eternal jargon , inftitinto the minds of youth
a diftafte of moralicy and virtue. Inſtead of which, Zam .
bullo found in Aſmodeus an ariful and able maſter, who
could find the way to his pupil's heart, and whilft he enter
tained him withagreeable ſeenes of pleafurable amuſement,
conveyed inſtruction at the ſame time, expoſing the foibles of
3
hunian nature, and teaching the young ſtudent how to cor .
rect them , without diſgufting him by tedious and infipid
prelections.
I am not therefore at all ſurprifed, that this dæmon ſhould
3
be well received upon his coming among us. For how can
7 any man in France refuſe his approbation to a work . that,
under the appearance of a trifling amuſement, contains ſuch a
happy afſemblage of wit, delicacy, ferfe , and politeneſs ?
The minds of men are naturally prejudiced against the dry.
nefs of dogmatic precepts ; they wantto be entertained with
ſomething agreeable and pleaſant; but , along with that, they
expect reaſon and fenſe . In a word, we are a rational people,
and Seignor Aſmodeushas exactly ſuited himſelf to the ge
nius of Frenchmen . He certainly muſt have conceived a
previous affection for our nation ; though I cannot but won
der ac his generoſity, in having taken ſo long a journey to
make us wiſer, againſt his own intereſt, and againſt the in
tereſt of the ſociety in general, who, I dare ſay , give him no
thanks for his pains.
Is there anyman , Sir, who does not envy the fituation of
Zambullo, on thole towers of fpeculation where Aſmodeus
pitched bim ? As for me, lfly along with him on the wings
of fancy, to the top of St. Salvador ; and behold, in his com
pany , with infinite pleaſure, the objects that are repreſented
to his confideration. A ſuperannuated coquette , who leaves
upon her toilet her hair, her eyebrows, and her teeth, before
he goes to bed ; a beau of threeſcore, who takes off with his
own bands, one eye , and a pair of whiſkers, waiting for his
valet to help him off with his woodcn arm and wooden leg ,
that
 xxiv ASMODIUS'S CRUTCHES.
that he may go to bed with the reſt ; and the liſter of this
lovely Adonis, who, by means of artificial lips and bubbies,
paffes for a lady of twenty - five: I ſay , I cannot forbear
laughing,with Zambullo , at the thoughts of three ſuch
lodgers all in the fame houſe.
Shifring the ſcene, I ſee with pleaſure my good old Zanu
bio pierced to the heart with the cries of his wife in labour,
and the undiſturbed repoſe of the footman , who is the cauſe
of all the pains fhe endures; and I greatly commend the dili.
gence of that phyſician, who is dreſſing in ſuch a hurry to
viſit the biſhop , who has coughed above three times ſince he
went to bed.
Exalted in that airy garret, methinks I ſee the ingenious
author, who compiles a fyftem of all ſocial and civil virtues,
and copies all the praiſesand commendations that have ever
been beſtowed on any man for his perſonal merit, or the fame
of his anceftors, which he puts into a dedication ; and though
he has not as yet any patron particularly in view ; keeps
them ready for market to any one that will bid for them .
There are many authors, to be ſure , who eat the bread of
flattery ; but I am ſurpriſed at the court lady, who, thinking
the dedication made to her not ſufficient, drew up one her
ſelf, and ſent it to the author to bave it printed.
Was I to paſs the ſtreets with my companions, I ſhould
certainly bewail the hard fate of the faithful Caftilian ,thiver
ing under a window, and pouring forth his love complaints;
while his miſtreſsbewails, to the ſoft airs of her guitar, the
abſence of his rival. And in the other large houſe 1 perceive,
'greatly to my edification , a banker, ftung with remorſe of
conſcience, reſolving to found a monaſtery out of the unjuſt 2

gains he has made. Heis certainly in the high road to falva 13

tion ; for, having once performed this vow , he thinks all bis
fins are forgiven . Nor am I leſs pleaſed with the ſcruples of
that lady in her grand climacteric, who marries a boy of ſe >

venteen , that ſhe may have what ſhe wants, without remorſe 1

of conſcience ; and I think her nuptials upon that account

ought to have been celebrated with a more decent concert of
muſic than baſons, kettles, and frying- pans.
The dæmon having bewed Don Cleofas ſeveral other en
tertaining objects, that he might not clog him with too much
variety , ſtop3 fhort to make him obſerve the appearances of
joy and ſatisfaction in a great hotel, and relates to him parti 1

cularly, from beginning to end , the affair of Leonora de Cef.

pides. We muſt allow , Sir, that Aſniodeustells a ſtory well.
The incidents of this romance are entertaining, the winding
up natural and intereſting, anda moral runs throughthe
whole. The innocence ati credulity of Leonora, the love
and
 A SMODÉUS'S CRUTCHES . XXV
this and ambition ofBelflor,the artifices of Marcella, the rageand
108, indignation of Don Lewis, and every other character there
introduced, are repreſented according to the truth of nature ;
for Aſmodeus wascertainly well acquainted with the various
paffions and emotions of the hunian niind .
After the recital of this hiſtory, I return with freſh pleaſure
to partake of the new variety of ſcenes Aſmodeus opens to his
pupil, and wbich he comments upon with great judgment and
he penetration. In that hotel lives a booby of a lord, who , for
50
footh , would paſs for a Mæcenas. In order to acquire the
be character of a patron of men of learning, he gives the uſe of
one of hisgarrets to a dictionary-maker. Some doors beyond
bim, lives an experienced dealer in her way, a woman who is
16 agent for a ſociety of rich widows, and keeps a kind of re
gifter office , containing an account of all the ſtrangers, who
ſucceſsively come to Madrid ; their parentage, their country,
DEK their age, their ſhape, andcomplexion. Oftheſe ſhe gives in
a liſt to her customers, who peruſe this roll, and pitch upon
whom they like ; and then this lady ſets about procuring an
! interview .
:18 In another houſe you ſee the devotees, who are in ſuch a
10 hurry and alarm about the fick inquiſitor, a ſcene extremely
diverting ; one is preparing flops, and another ſits at his pila
low, taking care to keep warm his head and breaſt ; there
two are no doubt favourites of the holy father. The anti
chamber is crowded with other penitents, who bring him
different ſorts of remedies, every one praiſing his own in par
V4 ticular, and , flipping a ducat into the hands of his ſervant,
de begs of him , “ Laurence, my dear Laurence,recommend my
rif bottle to your maſter above the others.” To make Cleofas
ſenſible of the happy condition of an inquiſitor, Aſmodeus
13 adds, Was I not a dæmon I would be an inquiſitor.
Letus , Sir, accompany Zambullo to the perſonsto which
be deſired the dæmon to convey him ; and what think you,
pray , of that gallant, who being caught as he was mounting
1 by a ladder into a balcony, runs the riſk of being hanged for
a houſebreaker, rather than ſave his life at the expence of his
mitreſs's honour, by owning the intrigue ? He will be , pera
haps, the firſt and laſt martyr of this kind, and I am ſatisfied
won't find a man in France to imitate bis example. I hear.
tily piry that other innocent perſon, the unhappy groom of
the chambers, who lies there accuſed unjuttly of having
ſtolen a diamond, and could have withed , as Don Cleofas,
that Aſmodeus had ſet hina at liberty ; but I am mightily
pleaſed with the r «aſon he gives, why it is not in his power,
when he tells him, that was he himſelf in priſon , he could
not eſcape the hands of juſtice, without paying his ranſom .
с Mentioning
 xxvi ASMOD EUS'S CRUTCHES .
Mentioning another robbery, for which the man who com
mitted it lics likewiſe in prilon , he ſeems to ſtrike the judges
pretty hard. Zambullo aſked hini , if the man who loſt the
piftolcs has had them returned to him : Not at all, ſays Al
modeus; they are ſo many proofs of the fact, and ſuch wit
neſſes they never ſart wich ; nor, indeed, does he fhew more
regard to the holy inquiſition, only that he ſpeaks of that re
verend tribunal in a very low voice.
The diſmial proſpects of the priſons are ſucceeded by ſcenes
more pleaſant. What do you think of the diſtinguiſhed piecy
of Sanguiſuela, that rancorous vulture, who took fix hundred
ducats premium for the loan of three hundred and forty ; but
would not tell the money, till he had firſt been at maſs and
heard a ſermon ? The Deeping lady, who miſtook her lover
for her footman, muſt have been in great confuſion at the
diſcovery ; and that coolneſs of behaviour her gallant thewed
upon the occaſion is admirable. He met the happy valet
upon the head of the ſtairs ; Ambroſe, faid he to him ,
do not go in, your miſtreſs deſires you will let her reſt a li tle
longer.
We ſhift the ſcene once more, and come to an hoſpital for
the reception of people who are lunatic or mad. How many
diffcrent kinds of madneſs do we there find proceeding from
as various cauſes ? That Caſtilian newſmonger had his brain
diſturbed by a paragraph in the newſpapers, giving an account
that twenty - five Spaniards were beaten by fifty Portugueſe.
Don Blas is gone mad, for being obliged to give back the
dowry of his deceaſed wife : and that poor ſchoolmatter has
cracked his brain in reſearches after the paulo poft futurum
of a Greek verb . You fce women too confined here ; the
wife of a country juſtice, who ran mad at being called a cit,
by a woman of quality ; and the wife of a treaſurer of the
Indies, who has undergone the fame fate, at being obliged,
in a narrow paſſage, to makeher coach go back, to give way
to a ducheſs.
Aſmodeus then ſhews the ſtudent a number of people who
deſerve to have a place in Bedlam , as much asthey who are
confined ; as thatrich widow of a maſter -builder, who be
queaths all ſhe has to grandees, merely on account of their
titles, and will leave nothing to a man , who ſhe acknowledges
has done her very great ſervice, for fear his name ſhould be a
difgrace to her laſt will and teftament ; and I am hugely
pleaſed with that gallant cavalier of threeſcore, who recounts
the adventures of his youth to a young lady he is in love with ,
and expects the will regard hin for what he has been . I
inoreover like that good dean, who buys up jewels, trinkets,
and all ſorts of rich furniture, that, after his death , they niay
embellish
 ASMOD EVI'S CRUTCHES. xxvii
embelliſh the catalogue of his inventory. You may judge of
the other fools from theſe inſtances.
Aſmodeus extends his obſeryations even to the dead. He
carries Zambullo to a church full of ſepulchral monuments,
and gives him an account of the perſons for whom they are
erected. Sometimes he gives a very fhort character of the
deceaſed, or only mentions the manner of their death . This
is the tomb of a general officer, who, at his return home, like
Agamemnon , found an Ægifthus in his houſe .
In another lies a courtier,who never troubled himſelf about
any thing but attending the levee . And a little farther lies
an old director of the Indicsand his young wife, Itrangely
uningled together. An apoplexy ſeized him juſt as he was
going to difinherit two children he had by a former marriage;
and his wife dicd che next day, out of vexation that her huſ
band did not live three days longer .
The dæmon , by the power he poíTefred , makes Zambullo
ſee the departed ſpirits of the dead, and among the reſt, three
famous actrelles, whoſe exit was pretty extraordinary. One
died of a ſurfeit after a debauch ; a ſecond of envy at the ap
plauſes given another actreſs at her firſt appearance upon the
itage; and the third of a miſcarriage, after he had been
acting in the character of a Veſtal. I queſtion much if the
phyſicians greatly like thoſe pieces of repreſentation that Al
modens lhews the ſtudent upon the wings of death : and a
man muſt have a diabolic imagination, to ſuppoſe young
graduates in phyfic, making theirappearance there in the pre
ſence of death, who confers upon them their degrees. I
would not adviſe a man of a fickly conſtitution to ſpeak of
doctors ſo difreſpectfully ..
Obſerve, Sir, now artfully Aſmodeus changes the ſubject,
and , to eiface from the mind of his friend the melancholy im
preſſions occafioned by the ſight of death , and the ghoſts of
the dead, introduces a hiſtory founded on the effects of the
ſtrength of friendhip . It is equally well told as the ſtory
of Count Belfior ; though , on account of the tragical catal
trophe, I am not ill pleaſed to find it immediately followed
by che chapter of dreams, which the dæmon unfolds very
often in a manner that approaches to reality. The dreams,
for example, of the attorney and his wife, do not much de
viate from truth. The man dreamshe is going to ſee a client
in the infirmary, and to ſupply him with ſome of his own
money : and the woman is pofféffed with an imagination that
her huſband is driving out of his houſe a ſtrong ſtout fel
low of a clerk , of whom he is become jealous ; and the
dream of that lady who fancies that Jupiteris fallen in love
with her, and endeavours to win ber, under the appear
< 3 anco
 xxviii ASMOD eus's CRUTCHES .
ance of a handſome page, is not perhaps altogether chi.
merical.
I will not ſay any thing, Sis, upon the obſervations you
will find on the ſeveral people who paſs in the day time
through the ftreets of Madrid, nor on the ſubject of the re
deemed captives. It is ſtill the fame Aſmodeus who ſpeaks,
and continues his remarks with the ſame ſenſe and penetra
tion . The work is finiſhed in the manner in which it was
begun, and the judicious reader will find , to the laſt, ſtrokes
ofthe crutches, which he may improve to his advantage and
edification .
I am , Sir, &c.

1
 DIALOGUES,
SERIOUS and COMIC ,
BETWEEN TWO CHIMNIES OF MADRID .

DIALOGUE I.
The Chimney A. and the Chimney B.
; thewith
isallover
4. ITsuined me,mydearneighbour;
Lares, my protecting gods, now
quite
I am freeze
by my hearth, and the fame chillneſs ſeizesmyſelf from head
to foot. B. I am ſtartled at what you tell me. How has
this terrible diftemper ſeized you ? and how comes it you
are ſo ſuddenly changed from hot to cold ! for I have con
ftantly ſeen you all in a fire. A. Alas! I muſt of neceſſity fol
low the deſtiny of my friend theſcholar, and the poorman
B. What has happened to him ? A. O ! the greateſt mil
fortunes. His income, that is to ſay , the profits of his pen ,
are quite put a ſtop to. B. I cannot ſay, neighbour, that I
in
talk of an author ; his finances depended on the ſale of .
ſmall pamphlets, calculated for amuſement, which he com
poled,fandthey have forbid all writingsofthis kind. B. What,
did theſe pamphlets ſupport him ? A. Yes ; and at his cafe
tro ; for he not take up his time in correcting and pub
lithing a volume ; he entertained the public with theſe flying
numbers, at leaſt ſeven or eight in the year. B. What a
pity it is to deprive the world of the induſtry of ſo good
hand ; and how comes it they forbid writingsof amuſement,
the very beſt things in the world ? The public loves to be
entertained , and why are they not at their liberty to buy
wbat diverts them . A. You are certainly in the right ; and
this prevailing talte makes both for authors and bookſellers.
But then this is the ground ofthe clamour againſt that kind
of writings ; they ſay that nothing is wrote now-a-days, but
low nonſenſe and niere bagatelle; and that pofterity will
diftinguiſh this age for the age ofromances, and all ſorts of futility .
They fay, moreover, that there isa general depravity oftaſte;
that theſe broken numbers are a real tax upon the public ;
that by this means a romance is ſwelled to an intolerable
fize ; and that an author is now actually propoſing a ſcheme
to divide one of them into three hundred and fixty - five par
cels, that he may be able to ſupply his cuſtomers everyday
c3 in
 DIALOGUES
in the year. B. Why, after the thouſand and one nights,
the thouſand and one days, the thouſand and one quarters
of an hour, and ſo many other thouſand and one things,
think they may very well put up with a romance ſplit intono
more than three hundred and fixty- five diviſions. A. Judge,
then, if they ought to find fault with my author, who, in
no work , has ever divided beyond number eight. B. Indeed ,
my dear friend, I pity you, as I do the chimnies of all authors
and bookſellers, who will ſoon become as cold as yours.-
A. It is but cold comfort for the afflicted to have others as
miſerable as themſelves. B. You are to be pitied ; and I do
pity you; what elſe is in my power to do ? Beſides, I muſt
tell you freely, that a long time ſince I have heard many peo
ple ſay,it was high time to check that prevailing taſte for low
trifling amuſements, and to put a ſtop to romance-writing .
A. What is this you ſay ? 'B. Yes, it is true ; and men of
diſcernment, who are unprejudiced, ſay now, that this inhi.
bition is of great ſervice to polite writing ; that people ought
to have ſome uſeful end in view , or not write at all. This
is their judgment upon the affair, and all the world come
into their ſentiments. A. But is not that which pleaſes, at
the ſametime uſeful. B. Yes ; wbat gives pleaſure is ſo far
uſeful. But beſides the utility ariſing only from pleaſure,
readers of taſte want ſomething folid and inſtructive, ſome
thing that has its foundation laid in the real truth ofmanners .
For example, the Devil upon two Sticks is ſo far a romance,
but at the ſame time more inſtructive than a treatiſe of mo
rality. There the fable is both pleaſant and upeful, that is,
uſeful by joining pleaſurewith inſtruction. Let your author
write ſuch another, and I'll anſwer for his having permiſſion
to print it, provided, though, he don't publiſh it in cight
numbers; for that, you know , is robbing the public to en
rich the bookſeller. A. Come, let us put an end to this con
verſation . One may eaſily perceive that you area chimney be
longing to a change-broker. You are a taſteleſs infipid crea
ture, and ignorant, in the ſuperlative degree, of every thing
concerning literature ; your narrow genius' does not reach
beyond a ſum in addition ; and I am ready to hang myſelf
for having been ſo free with you as I have been. B. What,
do you inſult me in return for my fhewing ſuch concern for
your misfortunes ! A. Is that ſhewing concern for one's
mistortunes, to commend thoſe who are the cauſe of them ?
Gn, once more I tell you , you are as great a dunce as him
fyou belong to . B. For one that complains of being almoſt
roze to death , methinks you ſhew a good deal of warmth .
but, in the mean time, I deſire you will let my brother alone ;
one daſh of his pen is worth all the volumes of Parnaſſus.
Every
 BETWEEN TWO CHIMNIE 9 . xxxi
Every thing he writesis ſenſible,agreeable,and univerſally
approved ; and, ſo long as his writings are but legible, I fear
not the cold ; my hearth will be kept as warm as if it had
been the eternal fire of the veſtals, and your poor chilled
author would bleſs himſelf to be allowed to fit down by it.
As for you , notwithſtanding your ill uſage of me, all the
harm I'wiſh you, is ſuch another brother as mine, to put you
inco beat again .

DIALOGUE II .

The Chimney C. and the Chimney D.

C. WHAT a prodigy ! whai a miracle is this ! Do you
know , my friend, what has happened to me ? D.
Is it long ſince? Ć. About an hour ago. D. No, my dear
neighbour, I know not, for I was obliged to affiſt at a mar .
riage which was celebrated in the apartment I belong to .
C. A marriage ? ' D. Yes ; and a couple the beſt matched
that can be . Lyſander and Celimene have taken mewitneſs
to their vows. The Penates, my houſehold gods, are the
only guarantees of their mutual'engagement, and the faith
they have plighted to one another. No mortal was preſent
at this ceremony, excepting Lizetta, the faithful ſervant of
Celimene. They are now enjoying the pleaſures of this myſ
terious union, C. This marriage, to be ſure, is very ſolemnly
1 ratified. D. Why yes; I know as well as you there are ſome
r little formalities wanting; but what then ? Love will ſup
1 ply the place of all. They love one another, and I am con
! vinced, let their parents do what they pleaſe, will continue
fo to do ; and pray do you find that common in marriages
. folemnized according to the rites of the church ? C. No,
really. Marriages, for the moſt part , are only ſo many civil
contracts, that bind two perſons eternaliy together, who are
ſo far from loving, thatthey generally hate one another,
during the wbole courſe of their lives. D. Well, I can ana
ſwer for it , the bonds which unite Lyſander and Celimene
aremore ſacred and folemn, for chey are thebonds of love.
C. I wiſh you joy, my dear neighbour; and I like you all the
better for intereſting yourſelf ſo much in the happineſs of
loyers. It is what we owe them as confidants of their fee
crets; and I myſelf would do all in my power to ſerve them,
which you will eaſily believe, when I tell you what has hapo
pened tome, which is pretty much ſuch another affair as
yours. You know the apartment I belong to is a real cell.
D. Aye, and the cell of the charming little Julia. C. Julia
was
 Xxxii DIALOGUES
was beloved by a very pretty fellow of an officer named
Traſon , and Trafon did not beltow his love on one that was
ungrateful. D. Now I did not know that. C. There was
nothing wanting to complete their mutual happineſs, but a
favourable opportunity ; and Julia's mother had more eyes
than Argus. The cell where this unhappy young crea
ture lay , was more inacceſſible than the tower of Danae.
D. Bleſs ine, how learned you are ! you underſtand the
ancient fables. I fancy, before you had Julia, fome poet had
ſtudied by your fire -fide. But ſince you mention the tower
of Danae, you remember it could not keep out a ſhower of
gold. C. True, and you remember, likewiſe, that Danae was
courted by Jupiter; and you know a god can change water
and ſtones into gold ; but Traſon's pockets had been pretty
well drained by three campaigns, ſo that it did not atall ſuit
him to have recourſe to that expedient. D. What other ex
pedient, then, did he fall upon ? C. The moſt fimple and ob
vious one that could be. Helives but juſt by ; and without
the help of any other magic than pure love, up he gets thro'
his chimney to the ridge of the houſes, comes to the head of
my chimrey, which he eaſily remioved, for I had no mind to
hinder him, and then ſlides down through the funnel into
the chamber of Julia, ſupporting himſelf by his hands and
his knets. D. Did the expect his coming ? C. No ; the
only wiſhed it : and far from running with open arms to re
ceive her lover, was in a moſt mortal fright at feeing him
come down . D. She fwooned away , I warrant you . C.
If ſhe did not at firſt , ſhe would have done ſo very ſoon -
Come, none of your joking. This gallant of a chimney
fweeper caſt himſelfat the feet of Julia, and the foon knew
him to be her dear Traſon . You never ſaw any thing more
moving than the ſituation they were both in at thattime.-
This is the advantage we chimnies enjoy : we are witneſſes
that men would pay any price for ſeeing. At preſent Julia's
fears are over ; the feels emotions of a quite differentkind .
D. There now, my good neighbour, in one night two mar
riages pretty much alike. C. Why very nearly ſo, indeed ;
though my couple not only exchange the ſolemn vow, but
the conſequences will very probably oblige the mother of Ju
lia to acknowledge Traſon for her ſon -in - law ; and I rejoice
beforehand in the thoughts of what perplexity this good woo
man will be reduced to. D. And I in the pleaſures ber deas
child at this nioment enjoys.
 BETWEEN TWO CHIMNIES . Xxxiii

DIALOGUE III .
Chimney E, and Chimney F.
E. PRAYtellme,if you pleaſe,good neighbour F.how you
can , withouc being tired, puc up with having nobody
beſides your two old maida ! for from morning till night no
one comes near your fire-lide ; you have always the ſame
people, and always the ſameſubjectof converſation. Indeed
ſhould imagine that by this time your patience was wore
out . F. I must, indeed, own to you, that I often wifh they
would change their quarters; though, perhaps, in that caſe,
I ſhould be hard put to it how to breathe, as, in all probabi.
lity, I ſhould not have ſo good a fire ; for they are extremely
devout, ſo, of confequence, take no leſs care of their bodies
than of their ſouls , eſpecially when a certain abbot, whom I
could name, comes to viſit them ; then they ſpare no coſt ;
their kitchen then may vie with that of a lord, and the ſmoke
I breathe uponis a perfect perfume. E. As far as I perceive,
0
you love nothing but ſmoke. Well, every one to their own
0
tafte, I love variety. New faces and new adventures are my
delight. I am, as I ſuppoſe you know, the chimney of a
38 furniſhed lodging. F. And as ſuch it is very happy for you
that you have a turn for variety. E. I have ſo great a turn
1
that way, that I ſhould be extremely ſorry to ſee the ſame
lodgers ſix months together ; and have reaſon to he thankful
that it is a thing never happened to me ſince the firſt mo
1
ment of my exiſtence. F. Belike, then, you are not the old
eft of your neighbourhood . E. No. not by a great deal;
18 but for all that, I believe I have the moſt experience. F.
Impart to me, then, ſome of your adventures ; I beg you to
0 do it, as you would oblige a neighbour. E. With all my
3
hcart, if it don't tire you, and will begin from the time I
firft commenced chimney. He who firſt ſat down by my
fire, was the younger ſon of a good family , but of a country
where the portion of younger fons conſiſts only in their
ſword, joined to a happy impudence of bullying every one
with their being born gentlemen . This talentmy gentleman
poflefled in an eminent degree ; but had another at the ſame
time muchmore profitable ; for he playedwith conſtant good
3 luck, and his good luck was the effect ofthe moſt afliduous
ftudy ; every day he was buſy in calculating the various
chances upon the cards, and at night put his theory in prac
tice . F. He muſt , at that rate, have been always fluſh of
money. E. No, you are miſtaken ; for he ſquandered it
away as faſt as he got it, ſo that he was always needy: In
deed,
 xxiv DIALOGUES
eed, ſometimes he cut a great flaſh ; that is a diſeaſe péct .
liar to his nation ; but then it never latted long. His good
fortune exaſperated the ſtudents who frequented the fanre
nurſeries of education , againſt him , and they brought him
into feveral ſcrapes, ſo that at the end of four months I loft
him . He was, however, a mighty good lodger, and I re
gret the loſs of him to this day. F. Who camein his room ?
E. A man the moſt lingular, perhaps, that ever yet lived.
A huſband faithful and affectionate, even beyond the grave,
and could not be comforted for the loſs of his dear rib ; in
Tort, a phenix of a huſband . The moment he came, he
ordered his room to be hung with black , ſhut up hiswin
dows againſt the rays of the ſun, and hai no light in his
chanıber but the dim glimmerings of a lamp. Incloſed in
this frightfulgloom, his conſtant employment was to fob and
fhed tears without ceaſing. Very often , as if he had been
poflefled , he would ſpeak aloud to an urn that ſtood upon
a table covered with black cloth, and which he feemed to
adore. He would converſe with that precious relic , and
fpeak to it as if it anſwered his paffionate expoftulations. -
F. It is a chance but fume ſpirit was encloſed in thatſame
urn , E. A ſpirit ! What a ſimpleton you are. No, it was
the heart of his wife; that was the objectof his vows and
adoration. F. This was tendernels of grief to exceſs. I can
fearce believe what you tell me. E. Nor fhould I , if I had
not ſeen it. I remember, ſome time or other, to have heard
one ofny lodgers reading a book which mentioned a ſtory
of the fanie ſort of fidelity, or madneſs , in an Engliſh philo
-fopher, which I do not believe to this day, notwithſtanding
what I have told you , for an example of this kind ought to
ſtand alone. F. But how long did yourlodger concinue in
this fit. E. Full three months. True it is, his eyes, the
fountains ofhistears, began to dry up, and refuſed to furniſh
thim with freſh fupplies of continued grief, and , by degrees,
this devotion to the urn ſeemed to reliſhofform and ceremony.
Happily for him his friends found him out, and, of conſe
quence, relieved him . I helieve he yielded to the violence
they made uſe of with only a ſeeming reluctance. However,
away they took him , and I was freed of this mournful gueſt .
F. And, I ſuppoſe, did not much lament the loſs of him.
E. Not in the leaſt, I aſſure you . The room was afterwards
let to a woman , at which I rejoiced mighưily, as I had hi
therto been acquainted only with men . A kind of Quaker's
dreſs, and a certificate of forty years marked upon her fore
head , gave her a matron - air, which ſtruck me at firſt ſight ;
and , by what I had heard of devotees, limmediately judged
her to be one. F. Now , perhaps you might be miſtaken .
E. I
 BETWEEN TWO CHIMNIES .
E. I was very foon convinced of my error, for the woman
was a woman of ſenſe and conduct ; ſhe loved pleaſure, yet
regarded her reputation , and came from the country, a great
way off, to Madrid , that ſhe might be ſheltered from the
malice offlander ; and a very ſhort rimeafter the gentleman
on whoſe account ſhe had u ::dertaken the journey, followed
her. Bleſs me ! how ſurpriſed I was at the firſt viſit ſhe re
crived from her lover ; the flew with tranſport into his arms;
her demureneſs was cha' ged into a wanton ſprightlineſs, and
回 the glow upon her checks effaced the traits of her age. F.
x A pretty lady for a devotee, truly. E. As the loved her man
with all the violence of paſſion ,ſhe made uſe ofevery method
to preſerve her conqueft. She was very well appriſed that
10 at her age it is allowed for women to embelliſh the charms
of nature by art , and accordingly the uled every thing ſhe
could for that purpoſe. F And what arts, pray, muſt
1 the uſe for that purpoſe ? E. I will tell you . Beſides
black and white , which painted her complexion to what
height of colour ſhe pleaſed, ſhe called in every other
thing to her affiſtance, dreſs, baths, and perfumes.
She was at her toilet always till her gallant came, and
2 repaired to it again immediately when be was gone away .
She was perpetually at her glaſs, practiſing the different airs,
2 either ſprightly or languiſhing, which the imagined might do
20 execution . As for theartillery of endearments and careffes,
that ſhe was perfect miſtreſs of. F. With all that, merhinks,
it was hardly pellible ſhe could miſs of making herſelf be
loved . E. But then ſhe had other charins infinitely more
E14 powerful over the heart of a young lover. She was liberal
and rich , and one muſt have a heart of fint not to love a ge.
nerous miſtreſs. Bue the appointed days of man are nun
2 bered : when theſe two lovers were now at the height of mu
tual felicity, the gallant fell fick, and died a few days after
wards, in ſpite of all the afliftance that could beadminiſtered
1 by the most ablephyſicians. F. The lady, no doubt, took on
mightily. E. Yes , the wept, reſumed her former demure
air, and went backinto her own country, to edify her neigh
bours by her example. My chamber was not long empty ;
it was taken by another woman , who was, by profeſſion , a
go -between , a match maker. F. A rare kind of occupation
truly. E. It is an occupation that is very common . Nego
tiators of this fort require a deal of addreſs, and this good lady
3
did not wart for that. She carried the propoſals, procured
interviews , and very often brought the matter to a final con.
clufion . How many of thoſe contracts have been ratified in
my apartment! She would make a younger brother, not
worth a filling, paſs for a gentleman of fortune, and ſet off
a demis op
 XXXVI DIALOGUES, &c .
a demirep for a pattern of illuſtrious virtue. F. What an
admirable woman this was ! E. All this the could do with
the greateſt caſe, and could take in the moft cautious and
wary : ſo that by her dexterity ſhe had got å pretty fortune:
but at laſt the began to have ſcruples, and her remorſes car .
ried her ſo far, that ſhe retired into a convent, there to repent
of her former ſcandalous life. Thus a fit of devotion de..
prived me of this experienced brokereſs. F. Well ; but hap :
pily for you , thenatural indifference of your temper prevented ,
your regretting the loſs of her. E. That is true : however,
after her I had a great many people of conimon characters in
life : men and women , for example, that were concerned in
law -ſuits, a very troubleſome ſort of lodgers: or people who
came from the country to ſee what o'clock it was at Madrid ,
and returned home, for the moſt part, as wiſe as they were
before. But it now begins to grow late : ſo, neighbour, I
wiſh you a good night: another time, whenwe meet, I will
give you an account of ſome more original characters whom
I have at my fire fide. F. Adieu, good neighbour, I will not
fail to puç you in mind of your promiſe,
 THE

DEVIL UPON TWO STICKS.

CHAP. I.
What Sort of a Devil the Devil upon Two Stickswas ;
and where and how Don Cleofas Perez Zambullo
became acquainted with him .
ONE night in October ,when thick darkneſs had
overſpread the famous city of Madrid , and the
weary inhabitants being retired to their reſpective homes,
had left the ſtreets free to cloſe reſtleſs lovers, whoſe
nightly care it is to ting their pains or pleaſures under
the balconies of their miſtreiles; and now the buſy in
ſtruments had already rouled the careful fathers , and
alarmed the jealous huſbands-- In Thort, it was almoſt
midnight, when Don Cleofas Leandro Perez Zambulloj .
a young ſtudent of Alcala, very nimbly bolted out of
the garret-window. of a houſe, into which the indiſcreet
ſon of the Cytherean goddeſs had enticed him . He en
deavoured to preſerve his life and honour, by flying from
three or four bullies , who followed cloſe at his heels,
threatening to kill, or force him to marry a lady with
whom they had juſt before ſurpriſed him .
Though alone, yet he bravely defended himſelf for
Some time againſt ſo much odds; and had ſtill main.
tained his ground, if they had not wreſted his ſword
from him in the fight. They followed him for ſome
time along the gutters ; but; favoured by the night, he
at length got clear of them , and ſtealing along from one
houſe-top to another , he made towards a light which
he perceived a great diſtance off, and which, feeble as
it was, yet ſerved him for a lantern in that dangerous
conjuncture. After more than once running the riſk
of breaking his neck, he reached the garret whence its
rays proceeded, and entered it by a window , as much
B tranfported
 2 THE DEVIL
tranſported with joy, as a pilot is when he finds himſelf
and his ſhip ſafe in the harbour, after a narrow eſcape at
fea , and the terrors of a tempeſt.
He immediately looked around him , and much won
dered he ſhould meet with nobodyin an apartment which
ſeemed ſo very odd and ſurpriſing. He examined it
with great attention, and ſaw a copper lamp hanging
from the ceiling, books and papers in confuſion on the
table ; ſpheres and compaſſes on the one fide, phials
and quadrants on the other; all which made him cun
clude, that under this roof lived an aſtrologer, who
uſually retired hither to make his obſervations. He re
flected on the dangers he had by good fortune eſcaped ,
and was conſidering what courſe was the moſt proper
for him to take, when he was interrupted by a deep
figh that broke forth very near him . He at firft took
it for a nocturnal illuſion , or imaginary phantom , pro
ceeding from the diſturbance he was in, and without in
terruption continued his reflections.
But being interrupted a ſecond time in the ſame
manner, he then took it for ſomething real ; and,
though he ſaw no foul in the room, could nothelp cry
ing out, What devil is it that lighs here ? It is me,
Signior Student, anſwered a voice,which had ſomewhat
very extraordinary in it : I have been fix months incloſed
in one of theſe glaſs phials. In this houſe lives a ſkil.
ful aſtrologer and magician , who by the power of his
art has confined me to this cloſe priſon . You are then
a ſpirit, ſaid Cleofas, fomewhat confuſed at this uncom
mon adventure . I am a dæinon, replied the voice, and
you are come very opportunelyto freeme from a ſlavery
where I languiſh in idleneſs ; though I am the moſt ac
tive and indefatigable devil in hell .
Cleofas was fomewhat affrighted at theſe words ;
but, being naturally courageous, he recollected him
felf, and in a reſolute tone, thus addreſſed himſelf to
the ſpirit. Signior Dæmon , pray imform me hy what
chara: ter you are diſtinguiſhed amongſt your brethren .
Are you a devil of quality, or an ordinary one ? I am ,
replied
 UPON TWO STICKS . 3
replied the voice, a very conſiderable devil, and am
more eſteemed in this and in the other world than any
other. Perhaps , replied Cleofas, you may be the dze
mon which we call Lucifer? No, replied the ſpirit, he
is the mountebank's devil. Are you then Uriel ? re
turned the ſtudent . Fie ! (haſtily interrupted the voice,)
he is the patron of traders, taylors, butchers, bakers,
and other third - rate thieves .
It may be you are Beelzebub ? faid Leandro. You
deceive yourſelf, anſwered the ſpirit : he is the dæmon
of governantes, and gentlemen -uſhers, or waiting men.
This ſurpriſes me, ſaid the ſtudent: I took Beelzebub
for oneof the greateſt of your number. He is one of
1
the leaſt, replied the'dæmon ; you have no true notion
of our hell.
You muſt then, replied Don Cleofas, be either Le
viathan , Belphegor, or Aſhtaroth . Oh ! as for thoſe
.
three, ſaid the voice, they are devils of the firſt rank ;
they are the court- ſpirits: they enter into the councils
2
of princes , animate their miniſters, form leagues, ftir
up inſurrections in ſtates, and light the torches of war.
. Theſe are notſuch boobies as the firſt you mentioned to
me .
Ah! tell me,I intreat you, ſaid the ſtudent, what
4
poſthas Flagel ? He istheſoul of the law, andthe life
of the bar, replied thedevil. It is he who makes out
the attornies' and bailiffs' writs ; he inſpires the plead
ers , poffefſeth the council, and attends the judges.
But my buſineſs lies another way : I make ridicu.
lous matches, and marry old grey beards to raw girls
under age, maſters to their maids, virgins of low for
tunes to lovers that have none . It is [ that have in.
troduced into the world, luxury, debauchery, games of
chance, and chemiſtry. I am the inventor of carouſals,
dancing, muſic, plays , and all the new French faſhions.
In a word, I am the celebrated Alinodeus, ſurnamed ,
The Devil upon Two Sticks.
Ah , cried Don Cleofas, are you then the famous Al
modeus, ſo glorioully celebrated by Agrippa and the
Clavicula Salomonis ? Really you have not told me all
B 2 your
 THE DEVIL
your amuſements ; you have forgotten the beſt of them .
I know that you ſometimes divert yourſelf with aſſuag
ing the pains of unfortunate lovers : hy the ſame token,
itwas by your aſſiſtance that ayoung gentleman , a
friend ofmine, crept into the good graces of a doctor of
the univerſity of Alcala's lady. It is true, ſaid the
fpirit; I reſerved that till the laſt. I am the dæmon of
luxury ; or, to expreſs it genteeler, the god Cupid : for
the poets have beſtowed that fine name on me, and in
deed painted me in very advantageous colours. They
deſcribe me with gilded wings, a fillet bound over my
eyes, a bow in my hand, a quiver of arrows on my
ſhoulders, and a charming beautiful face. What ſort
of a face it is you ſhall immediately ſee, if you pleaſe to
ſet me at liberty.
Signior Afmodeus, replied Don Cleofas, you know
that I have long been your fincere devotee ; of the truth
of which the dangers I juſt now run are ſufficient evi.
dences . I Thould be very ambitious of an opportunity
of ſerving you : but the veſſel in which you are hidden
is undoubtedly inchanted, and all my endeavours to un
ſtop or break it will be vain ; wherefore I cannot very
well tell which way to deliver you out of priſon . I am
not much uſed to theſe fort of deliverances : and , bea
twixt you and I, if ſuch a ſubtle devil as you are can .
not make your way out, how can a wretched mortal
like me effect it ? It is in your power to do it , an
ſwered the dæmon. The phial in which I am incloſed is
barely a plain glaſs bottle, which is very eaſy to break ;
you need only throw it on the ground, and I Mall imme
diately appear in human thape. If 10, ſaid the ſtudent,
it is eaſier than I imagined. Tell me then in which
phial you are ; for I ſee ſo many like one another, that
I cannot diſtinguiſh them. It is the fourth from the
window , repliedthe ſpirit. Thoughthe cork be ſealed
with a magical feal, yet the bottle will eaſily break .
It is enough , Signior Aſmodeus, returned Don Cleo.
fas. There is now only one tmall difficulty which deters
me : when I have done you this ſervice, will you not
make
 COOKE'S EDITION
OF SELECT NOVELS .

իրիմիս

DEVIL ON TWO STICKS .

The furpeife of Don Cleophas at the
appearance of the Devil fram the Battle.
Vile Chap I Pagea .

# Chelter sepea1999.
 UPON TIVO STICKS .
make me pay for the broken pots? No accident Mall
befall you, anſwered the dæmon ; but, on the contrary ,
you will be pleaſed with my acquaintance. I will learn
you whatever your are deſirous to know, inform you of
all things which happen in the world, and diſcover to
you all the faults of inankind . I will be your tutelar
cæmon : you ſhall find me much more intelligent than
that of Socrates ; and I will make you far ſurpaſs that
philoſopher in wiſdom . In a word , I will beſtow myſelf
on you , with my good and ill qualities; the latter of which
Mall not be leſs advantageous to you than the former.
Theſe are fine promiſes, replied the ſtudent ; but you
gentlemen devils are accuſed of not being very religious
obfervers of what you promiſe to men . It is a ground
lels charge, replied Almodeus. Someof my brethren,
indeed, make no fcruple of breaking their word ; but I
( not to mention the fer vice you are going to do me,
which I can never fufficiently repay) am a Nave to mine ;
and I twear by all that rendeis cur oaths inviolable,
that I will not deceive you. Depend upon my aſſurances,
I promiſe you withal, that you thall revenge yourſelf on
Donna Thomaſa, that perfidious lady, who hid four
ruffians to ſurpriſe and force you to marry her ; a cir
cumſtance that ſhould pleaſe you.
Young Zambullo, charmed above all with this laſt
promiſe , to haſten its accompliſhinent immediately took
the phial, and, without concerning himſelf whatmight
be the event of it, he threw it hard againſt the ground .
It broke into a thouſand pieces , and overflowed the floor
with a blackiſh liquor, which by little and little evapo
rated , and converted itſelf into a thick finoke ; which dira
lipating allat once, the amazed ſtudent beheldthe figure
of a man in a cloak , about two feet and a half high,
reſting on two crutches . This diminutive lame monſter
had goats legs, a long viſage , ſharp chin , a yellow and
black complexion, and a very flat noſe. His eyes, which
ſeemed very little, reſembled two lighted coals. His
mouth was wide, ahove which were two wretched red
wilkers, edged with a pair of unparalleled lips.
B3 3 This
 THE DEVIL
This charming Cupid's head was wrapt up in a fort
of turban of red crape, ſet off with a plume of cocks’and
peacocks’ feathers. About his neck he wore a yellow
linen collar, on which were drawn ſeveral models of
necklaces and ear-rings. He was dreſſed in a ſhort white
ſatin coat, and girt aboutwith a girdle of virgin parch
ment, marked with taliſmanical characters . On this
coat were painted ſeveral pair of womens' days, very
advantageouſly fitted for the diſcovery of the breaſts ;
ſcarfs, party -coloured aprons, inew -faſhioned head-dreſſes
of various forts, each more extravagant than the other.
But all theſe were nothing compared with his cloak , .
the ground of which was alſo of white ſatin . On it,
with Indian ink , were drawn an infinite number of fi .
gures , with ſo much freedom , and ſuch maſterly ſtrokes,
that it was natural enough to think the devil had a hard
in it. On one ſide appeared a Spanish lady covered with
her veil, teaſing a ſtranger as they were walking ; and on
the other, a French one practiſing new airs in her glaſs,
in order to try them at a young patched and painted
abbot, who appeared at herchamber door. Here a par
cel of Italian cavaliers were ſinging and playing on the
guitar under their miſtreſſes' balcanies ; and there a
company of Germans, all in confufion and unbuttoned ,
more intoxicated with wine, and begrimed with ſnuff,
than your conceited French tops, ſurrounding a table
overflowed with the filthy remains of their debauch. In
one place was a great Mahometan lord coming out of
the bath ,and encompaſſed by all the women of his fè
raglio, officiouſly crouding to tender him their ſervice :
in another, an Engliſh gentleman, very gallantly pre
ſenting a pipe and a pot of beer to his miſtreſs.
There ihe gameſters were alſo wonderfully well re
preſented ; ſome of them animated by a ſprightly joy,
heaping up pieces of gold and ſilver in their hats ; and
others, broken, and reduced to play upon honour, caſt
ing up their facrilegious eyes to heaven, and gnawing
their cards with deſpair. To conclude, there were as
many curious things to be ſeen on it, as on the admin
rable
 UPON TWO STICKS .
rable buckler of the ſon of Peleus, which exhauſted all
Vulcan's art ; with this difference betwixt the perform
ance of the two cripples, that the figures on the buckler
had no relation to the exploits of Achilles ; but, on the
contrary, thoſe on the cloak were ſomany lively images
of whatever was done in the world by the ſuggeſtionof
Aſmodeus.
CHAP . II .
In which the Story ofAſmodeus's deliverance is continued .
THE dz non obferving that the fightof him did not
very agreeably prepoffeſs the ſtudent in his favour,
ſmiling, ſaid , Well, Signior Don Cleofas Leandro Perez
Zambullo, you ſee the charming god of love, the ſove
reign ruler of hearts. What do you think ofmy beanty
and air ? Do you not take the poets for excellent paint .
ers ? Why really, anſwered Cleofas, they do flatter a
little . You did not , I ſuppoſe, appear in this ſhape to
Pſyche ? Doubtleſs no, replied Alinodeus : I borrowed
the appearance of a little French marquis, to make her
dote on me . Vice muſt always be covered with a fair
appearance, without which it will never pleaſe . I aſſume
whatever ſhape I will , and could have thewed myſelf to
you in a finer imaginary body ; but deſigning , without
any diſguiſe , to lay myſelf open to you, I was willing
that you ſhould ſee me in a ſhape ſuited to the opinion
which the world entertains of me and my fun&tions .
I ain not ſurprized, ſaid the ſtudent; that you are
fomewhat ugly . Pardon , if you pleaſe, the harſhneſs of
the term ; the converſation which we have had together
may admit of ſome freedom . Your features are very
well proportioned to the idea I have of you ; but pray
tell me how you came to be a cripple.
My lameneſs, anſwered the devil, is owing to a quar .
rel I had formerly in France with Pillardoc, the devil
of intereſt, about one Manceau , a man of buſineſs, and
one of the farmers of the revenues . He being very
rich, we warmly conteſted who ſhould have poffeffion of
him , and fought it out in the middle region of the air,
froin
 8 THE DEVIL
from whence Pillardoc (being the ſtronger of the two)
threw me down to the earth, as the poets tell ye Jupiter
did Vulcan ; and ſo from the reſemblance of our adven .
tures, my comrades called me the Lame Devil, or The
Devil upon Two Sticks; and that nickname, which they
gave ine in raillery, has ſtuck by me ever ſince : but ,
though a cripple, I can yet go pretty nimbly. You
Mall be a witneſs of my agility:
But , adds he, let us end this diſcourſe, and make
halte out of the garret. It will not be long before the
magician comes up to labour at the immortality of a
beautiful Sylph which nightly viſits him ; and if he
hould ſurpriſe us, he would not fail to commit me to
the bottle from whence I came, and confine you to the
fame. Let us therefore, in the first place, throw away
all the pieces of the broken phial, that the enchanter .
may not diſcover my enlargement.
If he ſhould find it out after our departure, faid Cleo
fas, what would then be the event ? What would be
the event ! anſwered the dæmon . I find you have not
read the treatiſe concerning compulſions. Alas! were
I concealed at the fartheſt part of the tarth, or hidden
in the region where the fiery ſalamanders dwell ; thould
I deſcend to the ſhades below, or the bottom of the
deepeſt ſea, I ſhould not be ſecured from his relent
ment , His conjurations are ſo powerful , that all hell
trembles at them . In ſhort, I cannot refſt his arbitrary
commands ; but ſhall be forced, much againſt my will,
to appear before him , and ſubmit to whatever pains he
pleaſes to inflict on me.
If ſo, replied the ſtudent, I very much fear that our
friendſhip will be of no long duration ; this dreadful
necromancer will ſoon diſcover your flight. I do not
know that, replied the ſpirit ; for we cannot tell what
may happen. What, ſaid Leandro Perez, are you not
acquainted with futurity ? No, indeed, replied the de
vil ; we know nothing of that matter ; but thoſe who
depend upon our aſſiſtance are fine bubbles ; and , indeed ,
to this opinion are to be aſcribed all the fooleries which
1 are
 UPON TWO STICKS . g
are impoſed on women of quality by fortune- tellers of
both ſexes, when they coniult them on future events .
We only know the paſt and the preſent . I do not know,
therefore, whether the magician will ſoon diſcover my
abfence, but hope not ; for here being ſeveral phials
very like that in which I was encloſed, he may perhaps
not miſs a ſingle one . I am much in the ſame condi.
tion in his laboratory, as a law- book is in the library
of a man of buſineſs ; he never thinks of me ; and when
he doth, he never doth me the honour of converfing
with me . He is the moſt inſolent enchanter that I know ,
for during the whole time that I was his priſoner, he
did not once vouchſafe to ſpeak to me .
What ſort of fellow is tnis , replied Don Cleofas ; or
what have you done to draw down his hatred upon you ?
I croſſed one of his deſigns, replied Aſmodeus. There
was a place in an academy void, which he propoſed to
obtain for a friend of his ; but I was reſolved it ſhould
be given to another. The magician prepared a taliſ
man, compoſed of the moſt powerful characters of the
Cabala ; but I placed my man in the ſervice of a great
miniſter, and his name accordingly carried it from the
taliſman .
At theſe words the dæmon gathered up all the pieces
of the broken phial ; and after having thrown them out
of the window, come then , ſaid he to the ſtudent , let us
make the beſt of our way. Take hold of the end of niy
cloak, and fear nothing . However dangerous the offer
appeared to Don Cleofas, he yet choſe rather to accept
it, than expoſe himſelf to the reſentment of the magi
cian ; wherefore, he took as good hold as he could of
the devil , who carried him out of the widow.
CHAP . III .
Whither the Devil carried Don Cleofas, and what hefirſt
Jewed him .
ASMODEUS was notwrong when he boaſted of his
.
agility ; he cleft the air with as much rapidity as
an arrow from a bow, and perched on St. Saviour's
ſteeple.
 10 THE DEVIL

ſteeple. When gotten on his feet, he ſaid to Don Cleo

fas, Well , Signior Leandro , when men are in a very
unealy hobbling coach , and cry out, This is a coach
for the devil ! do you think now they do us juſtice ?
I think nothing can be more unreaſonable, anſwered
Don Cleofas politely, and am ready to affirm upon ex
perience,that the devil's is not only eaſier than a chair,
butalſo ſo expeditious, that nobody can be tired on the
road .
Very well, replied the dæmon ; but you do not know
why I brought you hither. I intend from this high
place to ſhew you whatever is at preſent doing in Ma.
drid. By my diabolical power I will heave up the
roofs of the houſes, and, notwithſtanding the darkneſs
of the night, clearly expoſe to your view whatever is
now under them . At theſe words he only extended his
right-hand, and in an inſtant all the roofs of the houles
feemed removed ; and the ſtudent ſaw the inſides of
them as plainly as if it had been noon -day ; as plainly,
lays Louis Velez de Guevra, as you ſee into a pye whole
top is taken off.
This view was too ſurpriſing not to employ all his
eyes run through all parts of the city,
attention ; his
and the variety which ſurrounded him was ſufficient to
engage his curioſity for a long time. Signior Student, 10
ſaid the dæmon , this confution of objects which you
ſurvey with ſo much pleaſure, affords really a very
charming proſpect; but, in order to furniſh you with a
perfect knowledge of human life, it is neceſſary to ex
plain to you what all thoſe people which you ſee are *
doing. I will diſcloſe to you the ſprings of their actions,
and their moſt ſecret thoughts.
Where ſhall we begin ? Let us obſerve, firſt of all, d
in the houſe on the right-hand, that old wretch telling
his gold and ſilver . He is a rich , covetous citizen. 1
His coach, which he had for almoſt nothing at an anc
tion of an alcade of the court, is drawn by two poor
Jean mules that are in the ſtable, and which he feeds
according to the laws of the twelve tables ; that is , each
with
 UPON TWO STICKS . II

with a pound of barley a- day . He uſes them as the

Romans did their naves . It is about two years ſince
he returned from the Indies, loaded with a vaſt quan
tity of bars of gold which he turned into ready mo
ney . Do but admire with what an eye of pleaſure
this fool ſurveyshis riches. He is never ſatisfied with
looking at them. But at the ſame time ſee what is
going forward in the chamber adjoining. Do you not
ſee two young fellows with an old woman ? Yes, an
fwered Don Cleofas ; I ſuppoſe they are his children.
No, replied the devil; they are his nephewsand heirs,
who, being impatient to divide his fpoils, are confult
ing a witch to know when he will die.
In the next houſe there is a couple of pleaſant pic
3
tures enough. One is a fuperannuated coquette going
to bed , after leaving her hair, eyebrows , and teeth on
her toilet. The other is an amorous dotard of fixty,
juſt come from making love. He has already laid down
1
his eye, falſe wilkers, and peruke which hid his bald
pate, and waits for his man to take off his wooden arm
and leg, to go to bed with the reſt .
If I may truſt my eyes, faid Zambullo, in yonder
houſe, I see a beautiful tall young girl, that would
make a fine picture. What a charming air ſhe has !
Very well , replied the cripple ; that beautiful young
creature you are lo charmed with , is elder ſiſter to the
gallant that is going to bed . One may ſay ſhe is the
counter - part of that old coquette who lodges with her.
Her ſhape, which you admire, is a machine, in the
adjuſting of which all the art of the ableft mechanics
has been exhauſted : her breaſts and her hips are arti
ficial; and not long ſince the dropped her rump at
church in the midſt of the ſermon . Yet, as ſhe gives
herſelf a girliſh air, ſhe has two young fellows that
ſtrive to be in her good graces : nay, they have even
proceeded to blows for her. The fools ! 'methinks I
fee two dogs fighting for a bone .
Prºythee laugh with me at the concert begun after a
family -lupper in a citizen's houſe hard by there. They
are
 THE DEVIL
are ſinging cantatas . An old counſellor compoſed the
muſic ; and the words are a bailiff's, w'io lets up for
making love ; a coxcomb that makes verſes for his own
diverſion, and the puniſhment of others. The ſympho
iny 'conſiſts of a bagpipe and a ſpinnet. An oll un .
gainly choriſter with a ſqueaking pipe fings the treble,
and a young girl with a very deep voice the baſs. Very
pleaſant indeed I cried Don Cleofas, laughing. Had
they intended to have made a jeſt of all muſic , they
could not have ſucceeded better .
Caſt your eyes on that magnificent palace, purſued
the devil ; you will there ſee a great lord laid in a fplen
did apartment, with a caſket of billets-doux, which he
is reading to lull him aſleep more voluptuouſly . They
came from a lady whom he adores , and who puts him to
ſuch an expence, that he will ſoon be reduced to ſolicit
for a vice-royalty to ſupport himſelf.
If every body is at reft in that palace, and every
thing huſhed and ſtill there, to make amends, every
thing ſeems to be in motion in the next houſe on the
left hand . Do you not diſtinguiſh a lady in a red .
damaſk bed It is a woman of quality ; Donna Fa
bula ; who has juſt fent for a midwife, and is going
to preſent her old huſband Don Torribio, whom you
Tee by her, with an heir. Are you not charmed with
that gentleman's goud nature ? The cries of his dear
moiety pierce his ſoul : he is penetrated with grief,
and ſuffers as much as the. With what care and ear
neltneſs does he ſtrive to help her ! Really , ſaid Lean .
dro, the man is in a great fluſter; but I diſcern another
who ſeems to ſleep very found in the ſame houſe, with.
out being concerned at the ſucceſs of the affair . And
yet he ſhould have ſome concern , replied the cripple,
ſince that domeſtic is the firſt cauſe of all the pains his
lady ſuffers.
Carry your eye a little farther, continued he, and
obſerve that hypocrite in a low room rubbing himſelf
with coach -wheel greaſe, in order to go to a meeting of
ſorcerers this night between St. Sebaſtian's and Fon
tarabia .
 UPON TWO STICKS . 13
tarabia. I would carry you thither this minute, to
oblige you with ſo pleaſant a diverſion , if I was not
afraid of being known by the devil who perſonates the
goat there .
That devil and you, then, ſaid the ſtudent, are not
very good friends. No, I think not, indeed , anſwered
Aſmodeus. Why, it is the very fame Pillardoc I was
mentioning juſt now .' The raſcal would moſt certainly
betray me, and inform our magician ofmy flight. You
have beſides, perhaps , had ſome ſquabble with this
fame Pillardoc . I have ſo, replied the dæmon. About
two years ago, we had a freſh diſpute about a gentle
man's ſon at Paris, who had ſome thoughts of lettling
in the world . We both pretended to the diſpoſal of
him . He would have made him a factor ; and I would
fain have made him a ſmart fellow , and made his for .
tune among the women ; but our comrades, to end the
diſpute, made a raſcally monk of him . They then re
conciled us , and we embraced—and from that time be
came mortal foes .
Let us have done with this belle aſſemblée, faid Don
Cleofas ; for I have no manner of curioſity to be at it ;
but let us rather purſue our examination of what offers
before us . Pray tell me what mean thoſe ſparks of
fire iſſuing out of that cellar ? It is, replied the devil ,
3
one of the moſt fooliſh amongſt all the works of men .
The grave perſonage you ſee in that cellar, at the flam
ing furnace, is an alchymiſt, whoſe rich patrimony the
fire will conſume hy degrees, and he will never find
what he spends it in ſearch of. For, between you
and I, the philoſopher's ſtone is no better than a fine
chimera, that I myſelf forged, to divert myſelf with
human underſtanding, which would paſs the bounds
5 preſcribed to it .
This alchymiſt's neighbour is an honeſt apothecary ,
who is not yet gone to bed . You ſee him at work in
his ſhop with his decrepit wife and apprentice . Do
you know what they are doing ? The maſter is pre
> с paring
 14 THE DEVIL
paring a prolific pill for an advocate that is to be
married to-morrow : the man is making a laxative de
coction : and the woman beating aftringent drugs in a
mortar .
In the houſe over-againſt the apothecary's, faid Zam
bullo, I ſee a man getting out of bed, and dreſſing in
all haſte. Adſo, anſwered the ſpirit, it is a phyſician
riſing upon a very preſſing occaſion. He is ſent for to
a prelate who coughed twice or thrice after he was gone
to bed .
Turn your eyes a little farther to the right, and try
whether , by the dull lamp in that garret, you can diſtin
guiſh a man ſtalking in his ſhirt. Yes, yes, I am right,
cried the ſtudent ; by the ſame token that I would ven
ture to draw you up an inventory of the furniture in
it. There is nothing but a wretched forry bed , a ſtool,
a table, and the dirty walls , all over as black as foot.
That lofty -minded perſon , replied Aſmodeus, is a poet;
and, what ſeems black to you, are tragic verſes of his
own compoſition, with which he has hung his chamber ;
for the want of paper forces him to write his poenis on
the walls .
By the hurry, and buſy air of his gait, Said Don
Cleofas, I ſhould conclude that he was compoſing fome
piece of very great importance. You are notin the
wrong to think ſo, ſaid the cripple : he yetterday gave
the finiſhing itruke to a tragedy, entitled the Univerſal
Deluge. He cannot be reproached with neglecting the
unity of place, fince all the ſcenes are laid in Noah's
ark .
I aſſure yoni it is an excellent piece ; for all the beaſts
are there introduced talking as learnedly as ſo many
doctors. He intends to dedicate it ; and has already
ſpent fix hours in working up the epiſtle dedicatory, and
is at this moment gotten to the laſt line. It may juftly
be called a malter- piece; for not one of the moral or
political virtues , not one of the topics of praiſe that can ",
poſſibly be beſtowed on a man whoſ: anceſtors, or his
Own
 UPON TWO STICKS . 15
own merit, has rendered ' illuſtrious, are ſpared : never
was author fo prodigally laviſh of his flatteries . To
whom does he deſign to addreſs ſo magnificent an eulo
gy ? replied the ſtudent. He knows nothing of that yet,
anſwered the devil : he has left a blank for the name ;
and he is in queft of fome rich lord, more generous than
the patrons to whom he has dedicated his former pieces.
But people that pay for dedications are very ſcarce now
a days. Men of quality have mended that fault, and
thereby done an acceptable ſervice to the public, which
before was continually peſtered with wretched perform
ances ; the greateſt part of the books being formerly
written for the lucre of their dedications.
Now we are upon the ſubject of dedications, added
the dæmon, I muſt give you a very extraordinary circum
stance. A lady at court, having allowed an author to
dedicate his works to her, reſolved to ſee the dedication
before itwas printed ; and not thinking it came up to
her perfections, took the painsto compoſeone of her own,
andſend it to the author toplaceit before his works.
I fancy, cried Leandro, I ſee thieves breaking into a
houſe over a balcony. You are not miſtaken, faid Al
modeus ; they are houſe- breakers getting into a bank
er's . Let us watch them, and ſee what they will do.
They are examining the counting-houſe, and rummag.
ing every where. But the banker has been beforehand
with them ; he yeſterday made the beſt of his way to
Holland , with all the riches in his coffers .
Sure, ſaid Zambullo , that is another thief on a filk
ladder getting into a balcony. No; he is not what you
take him to be, anſwered the cripple. It is a marquis
fcaling the chamber of a virgin, who is very willing to
be rid of that name. He made her ſome ſuperficial
promiſes of marriage ; and ſhe, not in the leaſt diftruit
ing his oaths , has yielded ; and no wonder, for, on
love's exchange, your marquiſſes are merchants of very
great reputation .
I ſhould be glad to know, faid the ſtudent, what that
man in the night-gown and cap is doing. He is writ
C 2 ing
 16 THE DEVIL
ing very hard ; and all the while his hand is guided by
a little black figure that ſtands at his elbow. The mair
who is writing, anſwered the devil, is a clerk orregiſter
of a court, who, to oblige a guardian, who will return
the favour', is altering a decree pronounced in favour of
his pupil ; and the little black figure that guides his
hand , is Griffael, the clerk's devil . But this Griffael,
replied Don Cleofas, I ſuppoſe fupplies this place only
as a deputy ; ſince Flagel, being the ſpirit of the bar,
the regiſters feen directly ſubject to his direction. No,
replied Almodeus ; the regiſters were thought a body
conſiderable enough to have a devil of their own ; and
I aſſure you he has niore upon his hands than he can
compaſs
In a citizen's houſe next door to the regiſter, obſerve
a young lady on the firſt floor ; ſhe is a widow ; and the 7

man you fee with her is her uncle, who lives on the ſe
cond . The baſhfulneſs of that young widow deſerves
your admiration : the ſcruples receiving her thift before
her uncle ; but retires into her cloſet to have it put on
by hergallant, whom ſhe has hidden there.
With the regitter lives a relation of his, a great,
greaſy, lame graduate, who for joking has not his fel
low in the world. Volumnius, fo cried up by Cicero,
for his ſmart,witty repartees, did not rally lo agreeably.
This bachelor, called at Madrid the graduate Donoſo
by way of excellence , is invited by all the court and
city that make entertainments . Every one ſtrives who
Thall have him : he has a particular knack of making
the gueſts merry , and is the very ſoul and delight of an
entertainment ; ſo that he every day dines at ſome con.
fiderable man's table, and never returns till two in the
morning . He is now at the Marquis of Alcaniza's ,
which happened parely by chance. How by chance!
interrupted Leandro. ' I will explain myſelf, anſwered
the devil. About noon to- day there were five or fix
coaches at the graduate's deor from different noblemen
that all fent for him . He ordered their pages to be ſent
up to him, and taking a pack of cards, told thein, that
ſince
 UPON TWO STICKS . 17
fince he could not oblige all their maſters, and was re
folved not to give any preference, thoſe cards ſhould de
cide the matter, andthat he would dine with the king
of clubs .
What can be the deſign of that cavalier, ſaid Don
Cleofas, who is fitting at a door on the other ſide of the
way ! Does he wait for the chambermaid's letting him
in ? No, no, anſwered Aſmodeus ; he is a young Car
tilian, that is practiſing your ſublime love in form . He
has a mind, out of a pure ſpirit of gallantry, in imita
tion of lovers of former days, to paſs the night at his
miſtreſs's door. Every now and then he thrums upon
a miſerable guitar, accompanying it with ditties of his
own compoſing ; but his "dulcinea, who lies on the ſe
cond floor, whilſt the is liſtening to his muſic, is all the
while bewailing the abſence of his rival .
Let us give a look into that new building divided in.
to two ſeparate wings. In the firſt lives the owner of
it, that old gentleman who fumetimes walks about the
room , and fometimes ſinks into his eaſy chair . Sure,
ſaid Zambullo, his head muſt be taken up with ſome
project of importance. Who can this man be ? To judge
by the ſplendour and riches of his apartments, he muſt
be ſome grandee of the higheſt rank . However, an
fwered the devil , he is no more than a contador ; but is
grown old in places of great profit. His eſtate is worth
about four millions; but his.conſcience ſuggeſting ſome
uneafy reflections upon the manner of his acquiring it ,
and finding he muſt ſhortly make up his accounts in the
other world, he has grown ſcrupulous, and is thinking
of building a monaſtery, and flatters himlelf, that after
ſo good a work , his mind will be at reft. He has al
ready obtained leave to found a convent: but being
firmly reſolved not to place any monks in it, in whom
the virtues of chaſtity, fobriety, and humility do not
eminently line, he is very much puzzled in the choice.
In the fecond wing lives a fair lady, who , after ba
thing in milk, is juſt ſtept into bed . This voluptuous
C 3 creature
 18 THE DEVIL
creature is widow to a knight of the order of St. Jaques,
whoſe empty title was all the riches he left her . But,
by good fortune, two counſellors of the council of Caſtile
are her gallants, who equally contribute to the expences
of her houſe.
Alas ! cried the ſtudent, the air reſounds with ſhrieks
and lamentations . Some ſad accident muſt have hap
pened . It is this, ſaid the ſpirit . Two young gentle= .
men were playing at cards in that gaming-houſe ,where
you ſee ſo many lamps and candles lighted up ; they
grew warm upon their game, drew their ſwords, and
wounded each other mortally . The eldeſt of them is
married ; the youngeſt an only ſon ; and they are both
expiring. The wife of the one, and the father of the
other , informed of this fad diſaſter, are juſt come to them ,
and they fill the neighbourhood with their complaints,
Unfortunate child, ſaid the father, addreſſing himſelf to
his fon , who was part hearing him, how often have I ad
viſed thee to leave off play ! how often have I foretold
thee that it would coſt thee thy life ! If thou dieft thus
unfortunately , I here call heaven to witneſs it is not my
fault. As for the poor wife, ſhe is running mad .
Though her huſband hath, by his gaming, loft all the
fortune ſhe brought him , though he hath fold all her
jewels, and even her very cloaths, ſhe is inconſolable for
the loſs of him . She is curſing cards, which have been
the cauſe of it ; ſhe iscurſing him that invented them ; ſhe
is curfing the gaming -houſe, and all that live in it.
I extremely pity people that are raving mad for play,
ſaid Don Cleofas ; their minds are often in ſuch a horrid
ſituation . Thank heaven , I have nothing to anſwer for
upon account of that vice. But you have another, full
as bad, replied the devil. Think you it is at all more
excuſable to give yourſelf up to common proſtitutes ?
and was not you , this very night, in danger of being
killed by bullies ? Really I admire the folly of man
kind ; their own faults ſeem trifles to them, whereas
they look at thoſe of others through a microſcope.
Let
 UPON TWO STICKS . 19
Let me preſent you with ſome niore melancholy
images , continued Alinodeus. Obſerve that corpulent
man ftretched out upon a bed in the houſe juſt by the
gaming houſe. It is an unfortunate canon , who juſt now
fell into an apoplexy : his nephew and niece, far from
affording him any aſſiſtance, lúſfer him to die for want
of it ; and are seizing his belt effects, and conveying
them to a receiver of ſtolen goods ; after which they
will be wholly at leiſure to mourn and to lament.
A little farther you ſee two men, whom they are now
burying. They are two brothers, that were both fick
of the lame diſeaſe , but took different meaſures ; one of
them relied , with an entire confidence, on his phyſician ;
the other let nature take lier courſe ; yet they are both
dead ; the former, from taking all the phyfic the doctor
ordered ; and the latter, becauſe he would take nothing.
This is very perplexing, faid Leandro. Alas ! what
muuſt then a poor lick man do ? That is more than I
can tell you, replied the devil. I know very well there
are ſuch things as good remedies , but cannot ſay whe
ther there are any good phyſicians .
Let us change the ſcene, continued he ; I will few
you ſomething more diverting. Do not you hear a
frightful din in the ſtreet ? A widow of fixty bas this
morning married a young fellow of ſeventeen, upon
which all the merry fellows in that quarter are met to.
gether to celebrate the wedding, with a jangling concert
of pots , frying pans, and kettles . You told me, con
tinued the ſtudent, that the making ridiculous matches
was your province ; yet you had no hand in this . No,
truly, replied the cripple; I was far from having any
hand in it, for I was confined ; but, had I been at liberty ,
I would not have meddled in it. This widow had a
fcrupulous confcience, and only married to enjoy her
darling pleaſures without remorſe. I never make ſuch
marriages: I have much greater pleaſure in troubling
conſciences , than in ſetting them at reſt.
Notwithſtanding the din of this burleſque ſerenade,
faid Zambullo, I fancy I hear another noile. Yes, an
fwered
 20 THE DEVIL

ſwered the cripple , it comes from a tavern , where a

great, greaſy, Dutch captain , a French chorifter, and
a German officer of the guards, are ſinging a three- part
fong ; they have been at itever ſince eight this morning,
and each of them fancies it is for the honour of his coun
try to make the two others drunk . '
Throw your eyes a moment croſs the way to that I
houſe that ſtands by itſelf, over againſt the canon's ;
you will ſee three fanious courtezans making a debauch
with three great lords of the court. Ah , how pretty
are they ! Taid Don Cleofas. I do not wonder that men
of quality are ſo mad after them ! How they embrace
them ! They muſt certainly be deeply in love with
them . How young and inexperienced are you! ſaid the
ſpirit . You do not know this fort of ladies; their
hearts are more painted than their faces. Whatever
marks of tenderneſs they expreſs, they have not the
leaſt grain of it for those lords. They careſs the one for
a protection, and the two others for ſettlements . It is
ſo with all coquettes ; and though men very fairly ruin
themſelves for them , they are not the more loved by
them ; but, on the contrary , whoever pays for love is
treated like a huſband . This is a law in amorous in
trigưies, which I myself have eſtabliſhed. But let us
leave thoſe lords to taste the pleaſures they ſo dearly
purchaſe, whilſt their footmen, who wait for them in
the ſtreet, comfort themſelves in the pleaſing expecta
tions of enjoying them gratis.
Pray do meihe favour, interrupted Leandro Perez ,
to explain another picture that prefents itself before me.
Every body is ftill up in that great houſe on tlie left.
What is the meaning that ſome are laughing ready to
burſt, and others dancing ? It muſt be ſome great feſti
val ſure . It is a wedding, ſaid the cripple ; all the fer
vants are making merry ; but within leſs than three
days, that very palace, which you ſee at preſentthe
ſcene of ſo much joy, was the houſe of utmoſt mourning .
It is a ſtory I must let you into : indeed it is ſomewhat
long ; but I hope you will not think it tireſome . At the
tame time he thus began. CHIP.
 UPON TWO STICKS .
CHAP . IV .
The Hiſtory of the Amours of the Count de Belflor and of
Leonora de Ceffides.
THECountdeBelfior,oneofthemoſtconſider able
lords of the court, loved young Leonora de Cefpi
des to diſtraction , but never intended to marry her : the
daughter of a private gentleman did not ſeem a match
conſiderable enough for him , for which reaſon he only 3

propoſed to make a miſtreſs of her.

It was with this deſign that he purſued her where
ever ſhe went, and loft no opportunity of diſcovering his
love by the extraordinary reſpects he paid her : but he
could neither ſpeak nor write to her, ſhe being perpetu
ally guarded by a ſevere and vigilant duenna, whoſe
namewas MadamMarcella. This drovehim to deſpair,
and feeling his defires irritated by the difficulty of at.
taining them , he was continually projecting ways to de
ceive the Argus which guarded his Io. On the other
ſide, Leonora, perceiving the Count's regard for her,
could not help being touched with the ſame tenderneſs
for him, which intenſibly formed itſelf into ſuch a paſ
fion in her heart, as at laſt grew to be extremely violent.
I did not indeed augment it by my common temptations,
becauſe the magician, who kept me priſoner, denied me
the uſe of all my functions; but nature, no leſs danger
ous than myſelf, engaged in it, and that was enough .
And , indeed , all the difference that there is betwixt her
and me is, that nature corrupts hearts by flow degrees,
whilft I ſeduce them expeditiouſly.
Affairs were in this poſture, when Leonora, and her
perpetual governante, going one morning to church, met
an old woman ,with one of the largeſt ſtrings of beads that
ever hypocriſy yet made. Accoſting them with a plea
fant air, ſhe thus addreſſed herſelf totheduenna: Thegood
God preſerve you ! ſaid the ; the holy peace be with you !
Giveme leave to aſk whether you are not Madam Mar
cella, the chaſte widow of the late Signior Martin Ro
ſetta ? The governante having anſwered, Yes ;-You
are luckily met then, replied the old woman ; and I am
to
 22 THE DEVIL
to acquaint you, that I have at home an old relation of
mine, who is very deſirous to ſpeak with you . He is
Jately arrived from Flanders, was your huſband's moſt
intimate friend, and has fome particulars of the utmoſt
importance to communicate to you . He had waited on
you, if he had not been prevented by a fit of ſickneſs,
that has reduced him to the point of death. I live not
half a ſtone's throw from hence. I beſeech you to take
the trouble of following me.
The governante, whowanted not prudence and good
ſenſe, being afraid of a falſe ſtep, knew not what to re
ſolve on : but the old woman , gueſſing the reaſon of her
uneaſineſs , ſaid to her, Dear Madam Marcella, you may
ſecurely rely upon me ; my name is la Chicona ; the li.
centiate Marcos de Figueroa, and the curate Mira de
Meſqua, will anſwer for me as ſoon as for their grand
mothers . I do not deſire you to come to my
houſe for any thing but yourown good. My relation is
willing to reitore you a ſum of money which he borrowed
of your huiband. The very thoughts of reſtitution en
gaged Marcella on her fide. Come, girl, ſaid ſhe to Le
onora, let iis go fee this good lady's relation ; to viſit
the fick is an act of charity . They loon reached la Chi.
cona's houſe, and were led into a lower room , where
they found a man in bed with a grey beard ; and if he
was not really very fick, he at ialt feigned himſelf fo.
Couſin , ſaid the old woman, preſenting to him the go
vernante, here is the lady you deſired to ipeak with , Ma
dam Marcella, the widow of your friend Signior Martin
Roſetta . At theſe words, the old man, lifting up his
head a little, faluted the duenna, and making figns for
her to come nearer the hedlide, ſaid , in a feeble tone, I
thank heaven, dear Madam Marcella, for prolonging
my life to this moment , which was the only thing I de
fired ; I feared I ſhould have died without the ſatisfac
tion of ſeeing you , and putting into your own hands an
hundred ducats, which my intimate friend , your late
huſband, lent me, to help me out of an honourable quarrel
I was formerly engaged in at Bruges. Did he never ac
quaint you with that adventure ?
Alas,
 UPON TWO STICKS .
23
Alas, no, anſwered Madam Marcella, he never men
tioned it . God reſt his ſoul ! he was generous enough
to forget the ſervices he did his friends, and was very
unlikethoſe boaſters who brag of what they never did ;
he never told when he obliged anyperſon. He certainly
had a very greatſoul, replied the old man ; a truth which
I am more firmly engaged to believe that any man elle ;
and to prove ittoyou , you muſt give me leave to relate
the affair out ofwhich I was ſo happily extricated by his
affiítance ; but having ſomething to diſcloſe of the laſt
importance, with regard to the memory of the deceaſed,
I mould be very glad an opportunityof revealing them
to his diſcreet widow alone.
Very well , ſaid la Chicona : that you may have the
better opportunity of diſcourſing with her in private, this
young lady and I will retire to my cloſet. At theſe
words ſhe left the duenna with the fick man , and con
ducted Leonora into another chamber, where, without
any circumlocution ſhe ſaid, Fair Leonora ,themoments
are too precious to be mifpent . You know the Count
L de Belflor by fight; he has long loved you, and languiſh
ing dies for an opportunity to tell you fo; but the vigi
lance and ſeverity of your governante have always hin
dered him from enjoying that ſatisfaction. In this de
fpair he had recourſe to my induſtry, which I have made
uſe of for him . The old inan , whom you have juſt now
Et
ſeen, is the Count's young valet de chambre; and all
Tad that hath been done is only a trick to deceive your go
vernante, and draw you hi her .
3
Theſe words were no ſooner ended , than the Count;
who was concealed behind the hangings , appeared, and
, throwing himſelf at Leonora's feet, Madam , ſaid he,
pardon the ſtratagem of a lover, who could no longer
live without ſpeaking to you ; if this obliging matron
had not procured me this opportunity, I ſhould have
21 abandoned myſelf to deſpair . Theſe words, expreſſed
with a moving air, bya perſon not at all diſagreeable to
her, highly perplexed Leonora : the continued fome time
Er
doubtful what anſwer the ought to make ; but at laſt
recovering
 24 THE DEVIL
recovering herſelf, and looking diſpleaſed at the Count,
faid, Perhaps you believe yourſelf very much obliged to
this officious lady, who has to well ſerved your pur.
poſe ; but her deſigns to ſerve you ſhall prove inet
fectual.
At theſe words ſhe made ſeveral ſteps to get out of
the room : But the Count ſtopped her. Stay, ſaid he,
adorable Leonora, hear me one moment; my paſſion is
fo pure that it ought not to alarm you . I own you
have ſome grounds to oppoſe theartifice which I have
made uſe of to converfe with you ; but have I not till this
day in vain endeavoured to ſpeak to you ? I have followed
you theſe fix months to the churches, walks , and all
public places. I have long in vain watched an oppor
tunity of telling you how you have charmed me; your
cruel, your mercileſs governeſs has continually fruſtrated
my deſigns. Alas, then, inſtead of turning the ſtra
tagem which I have been forced to employ into a
crime, commiſerate, fair Leonora, my ſuffering all the
tortures of ſuch a tedious expectation, and judge, by
your charms, the mortal pangs they have occafioned .
Belflor did not forget to reinforce his words with all
the airs of perſuaſion which gallantmen are uſed to prac
tiſe with ſucceſs, accompanying his words with tome
tears ; with which Leonora began to be touched , and ,
in deſpite of her reſolution , tome tender compaſſionate
emotions began to ariſe in her heart; but, far from
yielding to them , the more the perceived them to grow,
the more the preſied to be gone. Count, ſaid the, all
your talk is in vain , I willnot hear you ; do not detain
me’any longer, but let me go out of a houſe in which my
virtue is fo rudely attacked, or by my cries I will call
in all the neighbourhood , and expoſe your audaciouſneſs
to the public. This the uttered in ſuch a reſolute tone,
that la Chicona ,who was obliged to ſtand in awe of the
magiftracy , begged of the Count not to puſh things any
tarther. Upon which he forbore oppofing Leonora's
intention, who got out of his hands, and (what had
never before happened to any virgin) quitted the cloſet
as good a maid asthe entered it . She
 UPON TWO STICKS. 25
She immediately flew to her governante. Come, good
matron , faid the, leave off your fooliſh dialogue ; we are
cheated ; let us quit this dangerous houſe . What is .
the matter, child ! with amazement, anſwered Madam
Marcella : What is the reaſon of your ſo haity departure?
I will.inform you, replied Leonora ; but let is fly; for
every minute I ſtay here gives me freſh uneaſineſs .
However earneſt the duenna was to know the cauſe of
this haſty departure, he could not then be ſatisfied , but
was obliged to yield to the inſtances of Leonora. They
both went away in a hurry , leaving la Chicona, the
unt , and his valet de chambre, in as great confuſion
as a parcel of players, obliged to act a piece that has
already been damned by the critics.
Wien Leonora was got into the ſtreet, with a great
deal of inward diſturbance, the began to tell her gover
nante what paſſed in la Chicona's cloſet. Madam
Marcella was very attentive; and when they had reach
ed their own houſe, I proteſt; my daughter, ſaid ſhe, I
ain extremely mortified at the thuught of what you have
just informed me of . How was it poſſible for me to be
deluded by that old woman? At firſt I made a difficulty
of following her : 0 that I had continued in the ſame
opinion! I ought to have miſtruſted her flattering whee
dles. I have committed a folly not to be forgiven in a
perlon of my experience . Ah ! why did you not diſco .
ver this plot whilft I was at la Chicona's house ? I would
have ſcratched out her eyes, called the Count de Belfor
by all the names I could have thought on , and tore off
the beard of the counterfeit old man , who told me to
many lies. But I will this minute return with the money
which I received ,asa real reſtitution of what I ſuppoſed
my huſband had lent, and if I find them together, they
thall not loſe by ſtaying for me., Theſe words ended,
The put on her veil which ihe had laid by, flew out, and
made the beſt of her way to la Chicona's houſe.
The Count was yet there, and by the ill ſucceſs of his
ſtratagem reduced almoſt to deſpair. Another would
have quitted the purſuit ; but he was not diſcouraged:
D for,
 L
26 . THE DEVI
for, with a thouſand good qualities, he had one verybad
one, which was the suffering himſelf to be too much hur:
ried on by his amorous inclinations. Whenever he
loved a lady, he was too warm in the purſuit of her fa
vours ; and, though naturally an honeſt man , he made
no ſcruple of violating the moſt ſacred laws to accom
pliſh his deſires. Conſidering then that it was impoſſi
ble for him to gain his end without the affiſtance ofMa
dame Marcella, he reſolved to leave no means vnat
tempted to engage her in his intereſt. He concluded
that this duenna, how ſevere foever the appeared, was
not proof againſt a conſiderable preſent: ano nde his
opinion was not unjuſt, for if there are any ſuch things
as truſty governantes, the only reaſon is, that the gal
lants are not rich enough to make fufficient preſents .
Madame Marcella was no fuoner arrived , but finding
thoſe the wilhed for there, the opened in a very outra
geous manner, loading the Count and la Chicona with a
inillion of hard names, and made the reftitution fum fly
at the head of the valet de chambre. The Count at
tempted to appeaſe this ſtorm with patience, and throw
ing himſelf at the duenna's feet, to render the ſcene more
moving, he preſſed her to take the purſe again, and of
fered her a thouſand piſtoles beſides, conjuring her to
have pity on him. As her compaſſion had never been
fo powerfully ſolicited, fo ſhe did not prove inexorable .
She toon quitted her invectives; and comparing the of
fered lum with the mean recompence the expected from
Don Lewis, the eaſily found it was more for her intereſt
to draw Leonora from her duty, than preſerve her in
it ; which engaged her, after a few complimental refu
fals, to take up the purſe again, accept the offer of the
thouſand piſtoles, promiſe to be ſubſervient to the
Count's paſſion, and immediately prepare for the per
formance of her promiſe.
Knowing Leonora to be a virtuous young lady, ſhe
very carefully avoided giving her the leaſt fufpicion of her
correspondence with the Count, for fear Me ſhould dif
cover it to Don Lewis, her father ; and being reſolved
on
 UPON TWO STICKS . 27
on more ſubtle meaſures to ruin her, the thus addreſſed
herſelf at her return . Leonora, I have juit now ſatis
fied my enraged mind ; I found the three villainous de :
ceivers confounded at your courageous retreat, I threat
ened la Chicona with your father's reſentment, and the
moſt rigorous ſeverity of the law ; I called the Count
de Belflor all the ill names which rage could ſuggelt,
and hope that Lord will no more be guilty of any luch
attempts, and that his intrigues will no more exerciſe
my vigilance. I thank heaven that by your refo
lution you have eſcaped the net which was ſpread for
you . I weep for joy ; I am raviſhed to think that he
has not been ableto gain any advantage over you by this
ftratagem ; for great lords make it their diverhon to
ſeduce young ladies . Moſt of thoſe who value them
ſelves on prelerving the ſtricteſt degree of probity, are
not fcrupulous on this head , as though the diſhonouring
of families were no ill act. I do notabſolutely ſay that
the Count is a man of this character, nor that he aims at
deceiving you ; we muſt not always judge ill of our
neighbours ; perhaps his deſignsarehonourable: though
his quality entitles him to the beſt match at court, your
beauty may yet have made him reſolve to marry you :
I remember alſo, in the anſwers he made to the hard
words I gave him , he hinted it to me.
4
What do you ſay , good governante ? interrupted Leo
nora : If he had any ſuch intention, he would before
now have aſked me of my father, who would never have
denied a man of bis quality. What you ſay is very
juſt, replied the duenna ; I am of your mind ; the courte
which the Count took is ſuſpicious, or rather his in
tentions were ill . I am almoſt in the mind to return to
1
him, and fcold at him afreſh . No, good Madam , re
plied Leonora, it is better to forget what is paſt, and re
venge it by contempt. It is true, ſaid Marcella, I think
that is thebeſt way ; you are wider than 1. But, on the
other ſide, let us not judge amiſs of the Count's ſenti
ments . How do we know, but he took that courſe, as
the moſt refined way of diſcovering his paſſion ? Before
D 2 obtaining
 28 THE DEVIL
obtaining your father's conſent, perhaps he was fond of
obtaining your favour, and ſecuring your heart by long
ſervices, that your union might thereby be rendered more
charming. If ſo, my daughter, would it be a great
crime to hearken to him ? Unboſom yourſelf, you know
my tender affection for you. Are you Tenſible of any.
alteration in favour of the Count ? or would you , if it
was put to you , refuſe to marry him ,
At this malicious queſtion, the too fincere Leonora caſt
down her eyes, and bluſhing, owned that ſhe had no
averfion for him ; but modeſty preventing her farther
diſcovering herſelf, the duenna preſſed her afreſh to hide
nothing from her. She, overpowered by the gover
nante's tender profeſſions, went on . Good Marcella ,
ſaid the, fince you would havemetalk to you as my
confidant, know thatI think Belflor deferves to be loved :
I liked his mien ſo well , and withal have heard ſuch an
advantageous character of him , that I could not help
being touched with his addreſſes. The indefatigable
care which you always took to oppoſe them, hath fie.
quently given me great uneaſineſs ; and I own that I
have filently deplored, and in ſome meaſure repaid with
my tears, the pains your vigilance has forced him to
bear. I will farther own to you at this very moment ,
that, inſtead of hating him alter this raſh attempt, my
heart againſt my will excules him , and throws the fault
on your ſeverity.
Daughter, replied the governante, ſince you give me
leave to believe his addreſles will be agreeable to you, I
will manage this lover for you. I am very ſenſible, an
ſwered Leonora, in a more moving tone, of the ſervice
you are willing to render me . If the Count was not
one of the grandees of the firſt rank at court, was he only
a bare gentleman, I ſhould prefer him to all men ; but
let us not flatter ourſelves. Belfor is a great Lord , and
doubtleſs is deſigned for one of the richeſt heireſſes in
the kingdom . Do not let us expect that he will ever
deſcend to Don Lewis's daughter, who has but a mean
fortune to offer him. No, no, adds ſhe, he has no ſuch
favourable
 UPON TWO STICKS . 29
favourable thought of me ; he does not think me worth
bearing his name, and purſues me only to diſhonour me.
Ah, wherefore, ſaid the duenna, will you think 'he
does not love you well enough to marry you ? Love daily
works greater miracles than that . You ſeem to imaa
gine that heaven hath ſet an infinite diſtance between the
Count and you ; do yourſelf more juſtice, Leonora : it
would not be below him to join his fortune to yours ; you
are of an ancient noble fanıily, and your alliance could
never put him to the bluſh . Since you have ſome incli
nations towards him , continued the, I muſt talk with
him : I will examine his intentions , and if I find them
ſuch as they ought to be, I will encourage them with
fome hopes. Oh! take care how you do that, replied
Leonora. I am of opinion you ought not to go in ſearch
of him ; if he ſhould ſuſpect my having any hand in it,
he would ceaſe to value me . Oh, I am a woman of
more addreſs than you imagine, replied Marcella. I
will begin by accuſing him of a deſign to ſeduce you ;
upon which hewill not fail to juſtify himſelf; I will hear
him, and ſhall ſee the event. In ſhort, my daughter,
leave it to me ; I'll manage your honour as cautioully
as if it were my own .
The duenna went out at the beginning of the night .
She found Belflor near Don Lewis's houſe, and gave him
an account of her diſcourſe with her miſtreſs, not for
getting to value herſelf on herconduct in the diſcovery
of the lady's paſſion for him . Nothing could oblige the
Count more than this news ; wherefore he expreſſed his
thanks to Marcella in the moſt ſenſible manner ; that is,
he promiſed to give her the thouſand piſtoles on the next
day, aſſuring himſelf of the ſucceſs of his enterprize ;
very well knowing that a woman prepoſſeſſed is half
ſeduced. They then parted very well ſatisfied with
each other, the duenna returning home.
Leonora, who impatiently expected her, aſked what
news ſhe had brought. The beſt that you could ever
hear, anſwered the governante ; all things ſucceed the
belt in the world. I have ſeen the Count ; I can tell
D 3 you
 THE DEVIL
you that his intentions are not ill , he has no other deſign
but that ofmarrying you. This he ſwore to me by all
that is ſacred among men . You may perhaps imagine
that I yielded to him upon this, but I aſſure you I did
not .
If you are thus reſolved, ſaid I, why don't you
make the uſual application to Don Lewis ? Ah !'dear
Marcella, anſwered he, without appearing diſturbed at,
this queſtion , could you think it proper for me to obtain
her father's good will, before I was aſſured how ſhe
ſtood inclined towards me ? and, conſidering nothing
but the tranſports of a blind paſſion, endeavour tyranni
cally to obtain her of her father ? No ; her eaſe is dearer
to me than my own defires, and I am too much a man
of honour to build my happineſs on her misfortunes .
During theſe expreſſions of his, continued the du
enna, I obſerved him with the utmoſt attention , and
employed all my experience in diſcovering by his eyes
whether his love was ſo ſincere as he repreſented it.
What ſhall I ſay ? He ſeemed touched with a real paſ
fion, and I with a joy which withoutmuch difficulty
I could not conceal . Being then ſatisfied with his fina
cerity, I thought it not improper to glance at your fen
timents with regard to him , in order to ſecure you ſuch
a conſiderable lover. My Lord , laid I to him , Leonora
hath no averſion to you ; and, as far as Ican judge, your
addreſſes are not inſupportable to her. Great God ! ex
claimed he then, all in rapture, what do I hear ! Is
it poſſible that the charming Leonora ſhould entertain
any favourable thoughts of me ? How much am I in
debted to you , moſt obliging Marcella, for having rid
me of ſuch a tedious uncertainty ! You, who, by a conti
nual oppoſition, have loaded me with ſomany torments !
But, dear Marcella, compleat my bliſs, by obliging me
with an opportunity of ſpeaking with the divine Leo
nora. I will folemnly promiſe and ſwear before you,
that I will never be any other's but her's .
To this, purſued the governante, he added yet more
moving aſſeverations: in ſhort, daughter, he intreated
me in ſuch a preſſing manner to procure him a private
opportunity
 UPON TWO STICKS . 31
opportunity of ſpeaking to you , that I could not avoid
promiſing to accompliſh it. Ah, why did you promiſe
him that? replied Leonora, ſomewhat diſturbed . With
how much care have you inculcated this doctrine into
me, that a prudent virgin ought induſtriouſly to Thun all
dangerous converſations ? I agree to what you ſay, re
plied the duenna, and itis a very good maxim ; but you
may lawfully diſpenſe with it on this occaſion, ſince you
may look on the Count as your huſband. He is not ſo
yet, replied Leonora ; and I ought not to ſee him before
my father allows of his fuit.
Madam Marcella now began to repentthe good edu
cation ſhe had beſtowed on the young lady , ſince ſhe
had found it to difficult to ſublue her virtue : but yet
reſolved to compaſs her end , coſt what it would . My
dear Leonora , laid the, I applaud myſelf when I ſee
you to reſerved. Oh, happy fruit of my cares ! you
have profited by all the rules I have given you, I am
charmed with my owsi work ! But, my daughter, you
exaggerate what I have taught, you ſtrain my morals
too feverely, and your virtue is indeed a little too rude.
Though I am fond of a ſtrict ſeverity , yet I cannot ap
prove of a brutiſh ill-mannered caution, indiſtinguiſha
bly and indifferently levelled againſt guilt and inno
cence . A virgin doth not abandon her virtue by af
fording her ear to a lover, of the purity of whoſe de
fres ſhe is ſatisfied ; in which caſe it is no more crimi.
sal toanſwer his paſſion, than it is to be ſenſible of
it . Depend upon me, Leonora, I have too much ex
perience, and am too deeply engaged in your inte
relts, to draw you into any meaſures prejudicial to
you .
Alas! where would you have me ſpeak with the Count!
faid Leonora. In your apartment, replied the duenna,
for that is the fafeſt place. I will introduce him to -mor
row night . Good Marcella, replied Leonora, fall I
then admit a man- -Yes, you thall admit him , in
terrupted the duenna ; it is no ſuch extraordinary thing
as you may imagine ; it is done every day ; and I ſend
up
 32 THE DEVIL
up my wiſhes to heaven , that the maidens who receive
ſuch viſits, may be fortified with as good intentions as
yours? Beſides, what have you to fear ? Ball not I be
with you ? If my father fliould ſurpriſe us? replied Le
onora. Never diſturb youríelf in the leaſt about that,
returned Marcella ; your father is perfectly fatisfied in
your conduct, knows my fidelity , and repoſes an en
tire confidence in me. Upon this Leonora, being ſo
violently puſhed on by the duenna, and inwardly frified
by her love, was no longer able to hold out, but yielded
to Marcella's propo!al .
The count was immediately informed of it, and ſo
joyfully received the news, that he inſtantly preſented
his female agent with five hundred piſtoles, and a ring
of the like value ; and the accordingly, finding him
ſuch a ſtrict obſerver of his word , reſolved not to fail
in the performance of her promiſe. So that next night,
as foon as the imagined the family was aſleep, ſhe faf
tened to the balcony a filken ladder which the Count
had given her, and by that means introduced the im.
patient lover into his miſtreſs's apartment.
In the mean wnile, the young lady was whollytaken
up with a ſeries of melancholy reflections, which very
much diſturbed her. Notwithſtanding her inclination
for the Count, and whatever her governante could fay,
The blamed her eaſy conſent to a viſit that would violate
her duty . The purity of his intentions did not make
her eafy. To receive a man into her chamber by night,
whoſe real ſentiments ſhe was ignorant of, and withal
without her father's knowledge , ſeemed to her not only
criminal, but alſo what might render her contemptible
in her lover's eyes. It was this laſt reflection which
moſt tormented' her, and ſhe was extremely full of it
when the count entered ,
He immediately fell on his knees, to thank her for
the favour ſhe did him . He appeared thoroughly
touched with love and acknowledgment, and aſſured
her ofhis intentions to marry her , but not expreſſing
himſelf ſo ſatisfactorily on that head as the deſired;
Count,
 UPON TWO STILAJ.
Count, ſaid the, I am willing to believe that you have
no other deſign than what you have told me ; but what
ever aſſurances you can give me, I ſhall always ſuſpect
them till they are authorized by my father's conſent.
Madam , anſwered Belflor, I had long lince alked
that, if I had not feared the obtaining it at the expence of
your repoſe . I do not blame you for not having yet done
it, replied Leonora, but even approve theie more re
fined punetilios of your love ; but nothing at preſent
hinders you, and you muſt Ipeak to my father as ſoon as
poſſible, or reſolve never to ſee ine more.
Ah ! why never fee you more, charming Leonora !
replied the Count. How little fenſible are you of the
pleaſures of love ! If you knew what it was to love as
well as I, you would be pleaſed with my diſcloſing my
pains in ſecret, and at leaſt conceal them for ſome time
from your father's knowledge. O, how great are the
charms of ſuch a private correſpondence betwixt two
hearts firmly united ! They may prove fo to you, faid
Leonora , but they can be no other than torments to me .
Such fubtle diſtinctions of tenderneſs very ill become a
virtuous maiden : boaſt therefore , no more of the dea ,
lights of a guilty commerce, which, if you valued me,
you would not have offered; and if your intentions are
really ſuch as you would perſuade me they are, you
ought from the bottom of your ſoulto blame my hear
ing ſuch offers ſo patiently. But, alas, adds the, let
ting fall ſome tears, it is to myweakneſs alone that
this crime ought to be imputed ; I have indeed deſerved
it, by doing what I have done for you.
Adorable Leonora , cried the Count, you wrong me
extremely; your too ſcrupulous virtue takes faiſe alarms.
Why ſhould you fear, becauſe I have been ſo happy as
to prevail on you to favour my love, that Iſhould ceafe
to value you ? How unjuſt is this ! No , Madam , I am
ſenſible of the full value of your favours ; they can ne
ver deprive you of my eſteem ; I am therefore ready to
do what you expect of me, and will ſpeak to Signior
Don Lewis to- morrow . I will uſe my utmoſt endea
vour
 34 THE DEVIL

vour to obtain his conſent to my happineſs ; but I muſt

not omit telling you, that I lee but ſmall hopes of it .
How , replied Leonora, extremely ſurpriſed , can my
father poſſibly refuſe his conſent to a man of your cha.
racter and quality at court ? It is that very quality and
character which makes me fear a denial. You are
in a ſurpriſe at what I ſay. But I will rid you of it.
Some days paſt the King declared he was refolved to
marry me. He hath not yet named the lady he deſigns
me for ; buthas only given me to underſtand,that the
is one of the beſtmatches at court ; and that heis fiomly
bent upon it . Not knowing at that time what fenti
ments you might have with regard to me, (for you
very well know thatyour rigorous ſeverity never before
allowed me an opportunity of diſcovering myſelf,) I did
not ſhew any averſeneſs to obey his will. After this,
judge, Madam , whether Don Lewis would run the riſk of
theKing'sdiſpleaſure, by accepting me for his ſon -in -law .
No, doubtleſs , faid Leonora ; I know my father, how
great foever the advantages of your alliance might prove,
would chooſe rather to renounce it , than expoſe himſelf
to the King's diſpleaſure. But if my father ſhould not
oppoſe ourunion, we ſhould not yet be the happier;
for, in ſhort, Count, how can you give me a hand which
the King has engaged elſewhere ? Madam , anſwered
Belflor, I own ſincerely that I at preſent labour under
a very great difficulty on that ſide ; but yet hope, that
by an even and very prudent conduct with regard to his
Majeſty, I ſhall ſo well manage his favours and friend
Ship for me, as to invent a way to avoid a misfortune
with which I am ſo unexpectedly threatened . You your
ſelf, beautiful Leonora, may afſift me herein, if you
think me worth joining to you. Ah ! in what manner
ſaid ſhe can I contribute to the breaking off the match
which the king has propofed to you ? Ah, Madam , re
plied he,with apaſſionate air, if you pleaſe to receive my
troth, which I offer to plight to you , I can preſerve my
ſelf for you without incurring the King's diſpleaſure.
Permit, adorable Leonora, adds he kneeling, that I
elpouſe
 UPON TWO STICKS . 35
eſpouſe you in the preſence of Madam Marcella, and
let her be witneſs of the ſanctity of our engagement ;
by this incans I Mall eaſily eſcape that mif -rable knot
that is preparing for me ; for after that, whenever the
King preffes me to accept the lady le deſigns me, I
hare nothing to do but proftrate myſelf at the feet of
my prince, and inform him that I have long loved and
ſecretly married you . However deſirous he may be to
marry me to another, he is yet too gracious to ſnatch
me from her whom I adore, and too juſt to offer this
atfront to your family.
What do you think, diſcreet Marcella , adds he, turn
ing to the governante, what is your opinion of this pro
ject, with which love has this minute inſpired me ? I
am charmed with it , said the duenna . It mult indeed
be owned that love is very ingenious. And you , charm
ing Leonora , replied the Count, what do you say to it ?
Can your heart , though armed with diftruit, refule its
approbation ? No, returnedd Leonora, provided you will
Jet my father into the ſecret, who, I doubt noi, will
+
Tubſcribe to what you will have him .
Weought to be very careful how we intruſt this af .
r fair with him , interrupted the wicked duenna . You
do not know Don Lewis ; he is too nice in punctilios
ofhonour to be aſſiſtingto ſecret amours: the very pro
poſal of a private marriage will offend him . Beſides,
his prudence will not fail to make him afraid of the
conſequences of an union which ſeems to thwart the
King's deſigns. By this indiſcreet ttep you will fill
himwith fulpicions, his eyes will be continually upon
you in all your actions, and he will deprive you of ail
opportunities.
Ab ! I fall then die with grief, cried our courtier.
But Madam Marcella, purſued he, affecting a melan
choly tone, do you really believe that Don Lewis would
reject the offer of a private marriage? I do not doubt it
1.
in the leaſt, anſwered the governante : but grant that he
Thould accept it, he is ſo icrupulouſly religious, that he
would never yield to the omillion of any of the ceremo
nies
3
 36 THE DEVIL

nies of the church ; and if they are all performed in your :

marriage, it will ſoon be publiſhed.
Ah !my dear Leonora, then faid the Count , tenderly
locking his miſtreſs's hand betwixt his own, mult we,
to ſatisfy a vain notion of decorum , expoſe ourſelves to
the terrible danger of being ſeparated for ever, ſince
there is no occalion for'any body but you' to diſpoſe of
yourſelf to me? The conſent of a father would perhaps
fpare you ſome uneaſy thoughts ; but ſince Madam Mare .
cella has Mewed us the impoſibility of obtaining it,
yield yourſelf to my innocent deſires ; receive my heart
and hand, and when it ſhall be a proper time to inform
Don Lewis of our engagement, we will acquaint him
alſo why we concealed it. Well, Count, ſaid Leonora,
I conſent then that you do not ſo foon fpeak to my fa
ther ; but firſt found the King's mind . Before I re
ceive your hand in private, ſpeak to your prince; tell .
him you have privately, married me ; let us endeavour
by this falſe confidence -Oh, no, Madam, replied
Belfor, I am too great a hater of a lie, to dare to main
tain this feint; I cannot thus diffemble . Beſides, I
know the King, if he ſhould once diſcover I had deceiv
ed him , wouldnever pardon me ſo long as he lived.
I ſhould never have done, Signior Cleofas, continued
the devil, if I ſhould repeat verbatim all the expreſſions
which Belflor made uſe of to reduce this young lady.
Wherefore I ſhall only tell you, that he employed all
the paffionate language which I ſuggeſt to men on the
like occaſſions: but it was in vain ; he ſwore he would
as ſoon as poſſible publicly confirm the promiſe which
he had made in ſecret ; it was in vain : he called hea.
ven to witneſs his oaths; he could not triumph over
Leonora's virtue ; and day being ready to appear, forced
him againſt his will to depart.
The next day the dyenna, believing her honour, or
rather her intereſt, engaged not to abandon her enter
prize, faid to Don Lewis's daughter, Leonora, I do
not know what to ſay farther to you ; I find you op
pole the Count's paſſion, as though it had no other aim
than
 UPON TWO STICKS . 37
than that of a bare gallantry . Have you not obſerved
ſomething in his perſon that diſguſts you ? No, good
Marcella , anſwered Leonora ; on the contrary, he never
appeared fo amiable, and his diſcourſe diſcovered new
charms to me. If ſo, replied the governante, I do
not comprehend you : you are prepoffeffed with a vio
lent inclination for him , and yet refuſe to yield to a
thing, the neceſſity of which has already been repre
fented to you :
My good Madam, replied Don Lewis's daughter,
you have more prudence and experience than I ; but
have you conſidered thoroughly the conſequences which
may reſult from a marriage contracted without my fa
ther's knowledge ? Yes, yes, anſwered the duenna, I
have made all neceſſary reflections on that, and I am
very ſorry to ſee you ſo obflinately reſiſt the glorious
ſettlement which fortune preſents you. Have a care
your obduracy does not weary and diſguſt your lover,
and be afraid lett he ſhould caſt his eyes on the intereſt
of his fortune, which the violence of his paſſion has
made him neglect . Since he offers to give you his faith ,
accept it without deliberation. His word binds him ;
than which nothing is more ſacred to a man of honour ..
Beſides , I am witneſs that he acknowledges you for his
wife. Do not you know that ſuch important evidence
as mine, is ſufficient to condemn , in a court of juſtice,
that lover who ſhould dare to perjure himſelf ?
It was by ſuch language as this, that the perfidious
Marcella ſhocked Leonora, who, ſuffering all reflections
of the danger that threatened her to wear of, in all
fimplicity, a few days after abandoned herſelf to the
Count's wicked intentions. The duenna introduced
him every night by the balcony into his miſtreſs's apart
ment, and let him out before day . One night having
warned him to depart ſomewhat later than ordinary, and
Aurora beginning to break through the darkneſs, he
haſtily endeavoured to ſlide into the ftreet, but , by
miſchance, ſucceeded fo ill , that he got a very ſevere fall.
Don Lewis de Ceſpides, whoſe bed - chamber was un
E der
 38 THE DEVIL
der that of his daughter, happening that morning to
piſe very early for the diſpatch of ſome preſſing affairs,
heard the Count's fall, and opening his window to ſee
what was the occaſion of the noiſe, perceived a man juſt
riſen from the ground with great difficulty, and Mar
cella in his daughter's balcony, buſy in drawing up the
filken ladder which the Count had not made ſo good
uſe of in his deſcending as in his aſcent. Don Lewis ,
rubbed his eyes, and at first took this ſpectacle for an
illuſion : but after having conſidered it, concluded that
nothing was more real, and that the day- light, im
perfect as it yet was , did but too much diſcover his
diſgrace .
Confuſed at the fatal fight, and tranſported by a juſt
rage, he flew in his night gown to Leonora's apartment,
with a ſword in one hand, and a taper in the other,
He went in queſt of her and her governante, in order
to facrifice them both to his reſentinent. He knocked
at their chamber - door, and commanded them to open
it ; they knew his voice, and tremblingly obeyed , He
entered with a furious air, and diſcovered his naked
ſword to their amazed eyes. I come, ſaid he, to wallı
away with her blood the infamous affront that wretch
hath thrown upon her father, and at the fanie time pu
nith the villainous governante that has betrayed the truß
I repoſed in her.
They both fell upon their knees, and the duenna be.
gan . Signior, ſaid the, before we receive the chartile
ment which you have prepared , vouchſafe to hear us
one moment . Well, wretch, replied the old gentleman,
I conſent to ſuſpend my vengeance fora minute . Speak,
inform me of all tlie circumftances of my misfortunes,
But what do I talk of all the circun.ſtances ? I know
them all but one, and that is the name of that raſh man
who has diſhonoured my family . Signior, replied Ma .
dam Marcelia, the Count de Belfior is the gentleman
that haih done it . The Count de Belfor ! Taid Don
Lewis ; where has he feen my daughter ? by what means
has he leduced hier ? Conceal nothing from me. Signior,
replied
 UPON TWO STICKS . 39
Teplied the governante, I will repeat the whole ſtory to
you with all thefincerity I am capable of.
She then , with an infinite deal of art, recited all the
expreſſions which the had made Leonora believe the
Count had uttered with regard to her. She painted
him in the moſt lively colours of a tender, fcrupulous,
and ſincere lover. But not being able to elude the dif
covery of the whole truth , the was obliged to tell it ;
but enlarged on the reaſons that prevailed with them to
conceal from him the ſecret marriage, and gave them
fuch an acceptable turn), as appeaſed Don Lewis's rage;
which the perfectly diſcerning, in order to completely
foften the old man ; Signior, ſaid ſhe, this is what you
'deſired to know : puniſh us this minute; plunge your
fword in Leonora's breaſt. But what do I ſay ? Leo
nora is innocent ; ſhe has only followed the counſel of a
woman whom you intruſted with her conduct ; where
fore it is me alone againſt whom your ſword ſhould
point. It is I that have introduced the Count into your
daughter's apartment, and I alone have tied the knot
wherewith the is bound . It is I who have winked at
all irregularities in a contract that was not backed by
your authority, in order to ſecure you a ſon- in -law whole
intereſt you know is the channel through which all
court- favours at preſent paſs. I had no other aim than
Leonora's happineſs, and the advantage your family
may reap by ſuch an important alliance ; and indeed
nothing lels than an exceſs of zeal to ſerve your houſe
could draw me into meaſures that carry with them ſuch
an appearance of treacliery.
While the fubtle Marcella was thus cajoling the old
gentleman , her miſtreſs fhed no tears, but diſcovered
Juch a fenfible grief as he could not relitt. He grew ten
der, his rage turned into compaſſion, he dropt his ſword,
and quitting the air of an angry father, Ah ! my daugh
ter ! ſaid lie with tears in his eyes, what a fatal pal
fion is love ! Alas , you are not ſenſible of all the rea
fons you have to afflict yourſelf. The Thame alone that
reſults from the preſenceEof2a father, who has turpriſed
you,
 40 THE DEVIL
you, muß unavoidably draw tears from you . Beſides
which, you do not yet foreſee all the anxieties your
lover may perhaps prepare foryou . And you , impru .
dent Marcella, to what a precipice has your indiſcreet
zeal for my family brought you ? I acknowledge thatt
ſuch a conſiderable alliance as that of the Count migh
dazzle your eyes, and it is that alone which excuſes you
to me: but, wietch that you are, ought you not to have
diſtruſted a lover of his high quality ? The more inte
reſt and favour he can pretend to, themoreyou ought to
have guarded yourſelf againſt him . Should he make no
fcruple of breaking his faith with Leonora, what courſe
can I take ? If I implore the aſſiſtance of the laws, a
perſon of his character would eaſily be able to ſhelter
himſelf from their ſeverity : and I wiſh that, continu
ing juſt to his oaths, he may prove willing to keep his
word with my daughter ; for if the King, as you ſay,
deſigns to oblige him to marry another lady, it ismuch
to be feared his Majeſty will force him to it by virtue
of his authority .
0, Sir, interrupted Leonora , that ought not to alarm
you ; the Count has very well aſſured us, that the King
will not commit ſuch a violence on his paſſion. I am
perſuaded, ſaid Marcella, his Majeſty is too fond of his
favourite to exerciſe ſuch a tyranny over him , and alſo
that he is too generous to plunge into a fatal grief Don
Lewis de Celpides, who has ſpent all his belt days in
the ſervice of the public .
Pray heaven it prove ſo, replied the old gentleman ,
ſighing, and that my fears prove vain ! I will go to the
Count, and deſire him to explain this affair, A father's
eyes are piercing, and I shall diſcover the deepeſt re
celles of his ſoul. If I find him in the diſpoſition which
I wish , I will pardon what is part ; but , adds he, in a
more re.olute tune, if by his diſcoure I diſcover a per
fidious heart, you ſhall both with tears bewail your im
prudence in a melancholy retirement the remainder of
your days. At theſe words he put up his ſword, and
leaving them to the frightful thoughts he had raiſed in
them , returned to his apartment to dreſs . In
 UPON TWO STICKS . 41
In this part of the ſtory Aſmodeus was thus inter
rupted by the ſtudent : However affecting the ſtory you
are telling me may be, ſomething I have my eyes upon
prevents me from hearing you ſo attentively as I could
wiſh. I ſee a very genteel woman between a young and
an old man ; they are all three, I fup :oſe, drinking
exquiſite liquors; and whilſt the fond dutard is embrac
ing her, the baggage flips her hand behind him, into
that of a young cavalier, who to be ſure is the ſpark .
Quite the contrary, aniwered the cripple; it is her huſ.
band, and the other her lover . The old man is a per
fon of conſequence, a commander of the military order of
Calatrava, and is ruining himſelf for that lady, whole
huſband has a finail poit at court: the caretes her old
lover for interest, and is falle to him , in favour of her
huſband , by inclination .
It is a fine picture, replied Zambullo : but is not
the huſband a Frenchman ? No , anſwered the devil, he
is a Spaniard . Oh , then , the good city of Madrid has
within its walls good natured huſbands too ? But they
do not fwarm here , as they do at Paris, which without
diſpute is the moſt fruitful city in the world in ſuch in
habitants. Pardon me, Signior Afinodeus, laid Don
Cleofas, for breaking in upon the thread of Leonora's
ſtory . Go on with it , I beg you, for it plaies me in )

finitely : there is ſuch an artiul variety in the ſeducing

this young lady that I am transportel with it.
CHIP v.
The Continuation and Concluſion of the Hifiory of the
Count and Leonora .
DON Leivis went out earlyto the Count, who, not
luiperuing he was discovered , was ſurprised with
his vitit . He itept forward to meet him at his enfiance ,
and , af er havi' g itified him with embraces, How great
is my joy, faid he, to fee Don Lewis here ! Doth he
cometo offer me an opportunity of ſerving him ? My
Lord , aniwered Don Lewis, order, if you pleaſe, that
we be alone .
down,
Belflor accordingly did ſo, and they both ſat when
E 3
 THE DEVIL

when the old man thus began . My Lord, ſaid he,

my honour and repoſe require an explanation, which I
come to aſk of you. I ſaw you this morning go out of
Leonora's apartment: She has confeſſed all; ſhe has told
me--- She has told you that I love her, interrupted
the Count, to avoid a diſcourſe which he was not fond
of hearing : but ſhe has but feebly expreſſed all that I
feel for her . I am enchanted ; ſhe is a lady all over
adorable; the has wit, beauty , virtue, no perfection is
wanting. I have been told likewiſe that you have a
ſon atthe univerſity of Alcala ; is he like his lifter ? If
he haih her beauty , and reſcinbles you in other excel
Jencies, he muſt be a complete gentleman. I die with
deſire to ſee him , and offer you all my intereſt to ferve
him .
I am indebted to you for that offer, ſaid Don Lewis
gravely ; but to come to--- He ought to be entered in
the ſervice immediately, interrupted the Count again ;
I charge myſelf with the care of his fortune ; I aſſure
you he hall not wait amongſt the croud of ſubaltern
officers . Antwer me, Count, replied the old gentle
man haftily, and leave off your interruption . Do you
deſign to keep your promilei- Yes, without doubt,
interrupted Belfor the third time; I will keep my word
which I have given you , to ſtand by your ſon with all
my interest ; depend upon me, I am a fincere man. It
is too much , cried Cefpides, riſing up, after having
ſeduced ny daughter, that you dare inſult me; but
know I am a gentleman , and the injury you have done
me mall not remain unpuniſhed . At theſe words he
returned home with a heart full of reſentment, contriv
ing a hundred projects to compaſs his revenge. As .
foon as he came home, he told Leonora and Marcella
very angrily, it was not without ground that he fuf
pected the Count ; he is traitor , on whom I will be
revenged : and as for you two , you ſhail to- morrow bę
entered in a convent ; you have nothing to do but pre
pare yourlelves, and thank heaven my rage contents it
Ielf with that chabilement. He then went and locked
himſelf
 UPON TWO STICKS 43
:
himſelf up in his cloſet, to deliberate what courſe to
take in ſuch a nice conjuncture.
How great was Leonora’s grief when ſhe heard Bel
for was perfidious! She remained ſome time without
motion ; a mortal paleneſs covered her face, her fpirits
fled , and ſhe fell motionleſs into the arms of her go
vernante ; who, fearing ſhe was dying, uſed all her en
deavours to get her out of this fit. She ſucceeded ; and
Leonora reaſſuming the uſe of her ſenſes, and ſeeing her
governante very officiouſly helping her, How barbarous
are you ! ſaid me with a deep figh : why did you force
me out of the happy ſtate in which I was? I was not
then ſenſible of the horror of my fate . Why did you
not let me die ? You , who well know all the torment,
ing griefs which muſt diſturb the repoſe of my life,
wherefore did you keep me alive ?
Marcella endeavoured to comfort her ; but that only
increaſed her torment. All your talk is ſuperfluous,
cried Don Lewis's daughter ; I will hear nothing. Do
not loſe your time in attempting to abate my deſpair,
you ought rather to raiſe it, You, who have plunged
me into the abyſs*of miſery in which I now .am : it is
you who vouched for the Count's fincerity ; without
you I had never yielded myſelf to ny inclinations for
him, which I ſhould infenfibily have conquered; or how
ever at leaſt he would never have been able to have
gained the leaſt advantage over me . But I will not,
continued the, charge my miſery on you, I accuſe 10
body but myſelf. I ought not to have followed your
advice in the acceptation of a man's faith, without con
ſulting my father. How dazzling foever the Count's
addreſs might appear to me, I ought to have deſpiſed
rather than complimented it at the expence of my ho
nour. In ſhort, I ought to have diſtruſted him , you,
and myſelf. Since I have been ſo weak as to yield to
his perfidious oaths, after the affliction which I have
brought upon Don Lewis, and the diſhonour 1- have
done my family, I hate myſelf; and am ſo far from
fearing the retirement with which I am threatened , that
I am
 44 THE DEVIL
I am fond of hiding my ſhame in the moſt diſmal re.
treat in the world .
Theſe paſſionate words were not only accompanied
with abundance of tears , but ſhe tore her cloaths in
pieces, and revenged the injuſtice of her lover on her
beautiful hair. The duenna, to ſuit herfelf to her mir.
treſs's grief, did not ſpare for grimaces and diftorted
faces. She dropped ſome of thoſe tears the had always
at command ; the imprecated a thouſand curſes on man
kind in general, and the Count in particular. Is it
poſſible, exclaimed me, that Belfor, who ſeemed to
full of juſtice and probity, ſhould prove ſuch a villain
as to deceive us both ! I cannot extricate myſelf out of
this furpriſe, or rather, I cannot yet perſuade myſelf
that it is ſo .
Really, ſaid Leonora, when I fancyhim at my knees,
what maiden would not have truſted his tender engag
ing air, and depended on oaths which he ſo audaciouſly
invoked heaven to witneſs, and thoſe tranſports which
he inceſſantly repeated ? Beſides, his eyes diſcovered
more love than his mouth expreffed, and the very fight
of me ſeemed to charm him . No , he did riot deceive
me ; I cannot think it . My father muſt not have talk
ed with him ſo diſcreetly as he ought ; they both grew
warm , and the Count anſwered leſs like a lover than a
great lord ; but, alas, perhaps I flatter myſelf! What
thall I do to extricate myſelf out of this uncertainty ?
I will write to Belflor, and tell him that I expect him
here this night. I am reſolved he thall either fecure
my alarmed heart, or confirm his treachery .
Marcel!a applauded the deciſion, and was not herſelf
without hope that the Count, ambitious as he was, yet,
touched by Leonora's tears , might fall from his relo
lution in this interview, and determine to marry her.
In the mean while, Belflor, having rid himſelf of ho
neft Don Lewis, continued in his apartment, reflecting on
the conſequences which might reſult from the reception
he had juſt given him . He firmly concluded that the whole
family of the Celpides, enraged at the injury done to
their
 UPON TWO STICKS . 45
their houſe, would ſtudy revenge ; but that did not
much diſturb him ; the intercit of his love much more
employed his thoughts. He imagined that Leonora
would be put into a convent, or at leaſt, that ſhe would
be kept lo ſtrictly watched , that in all probability he
ſhould never more
ſee her . This thought afflicted him ,
and he was contriving how to eſcape this misfortune,
when his valet de chambre brought him a letter which
Marcella had juſt put into his hands. It was a billet
from Leonora , the contents whereof run thus :
I AM to -morrow to quit the world, and ina ſolitary retire
ment have the borror of ſeeing myſelf diſhonoured , odious
to my family and myſelf ikis is the deplorable condition to
wbith 'I am reduced " by believing you. I expect you once
more this night. In my deſpair I hunt after new torments.
Come and own to me that your heart bad no part in any of
tbe oaths which your lips wure to me, or juftify their fince
rity by a conduct which alone can ſoften the rigour of my fate.
Perhaps thismeeting may be attended with ſome danger, after
what has paſſed betwixt you and my father'; take care there
fore that you be accompanied by afriend. Though you have
occaſioned all the miſeries of my life, I yet feel myſelf con
cerned for yours:
LEONORA .
The Count read this letter twice or thrice over, and
repreſenting Leonora in the condition which the deſcrib
ed, he melted into compaſſion . He now ſeriouſly re
Aected on what he had done ; juſtice, probity, and ho
nour , all the laws of which his paſſion had hurried him
on to the violation of, began to reſume their empire
over him . He ſuddenly found his blindneſs diffipated,
and , like a man juſt got out of a violent fever, bluſhed
at the extravagant words and actions which had eſcaped
him ; he was aſhamed of all the baſe artifices he had
uſed to ſatisfy his defires .
Wretch that I am , cried he, what have I done ?
What devil poſſeſſed me ? I promiſed to marry Leono
ra ; I called heaven to witneſs it: I feigned that the
King propoſed a match to me : I have made uſe of lies,
perfidiouſneſs,
 46 THE DEVIL
perfidiouſneſs, and facrilege, to corrupt her innocence.
What madneſs has feized me ? How much better had it
become me to have ſuppreſſed my paflion, inſtead of
fatisfying it in fo criminal a manner ? I have ſeduced
an innocent lady, and now abandon her to the refent
nients of her relations, whom I have equally diſonour
ed, and ſo return the happineſs ſhe has conferred on me
with a load of miſeries . ** Ah , how barbarous is ſuch
ingratitude ! Ought I not rather to repair the diſgrace
and infamy I have done her ? Yes, I ought; and I
will, by marrying her, diſcharge the promiſe I made
her. Who is there can oppoſe ſo juſt an intention ?
Ought her tenderneſs to me to prejudice me againſt her
virtue ? Nɔ : I know how much her reſiſtance coft me
to conquer it ; and the rather yielded to my ſworn faith,
than my amorous tranſports . But, on the other ſide,
if I confine myſelf to this choice, I ſhall be a conſide
rable ſufferer . I, who may pretend to the nobleſt and
richeſt heireſſeſs in the kingdom, ſhall I content my
felf with aprivategentleman's daughter of amoderate
fortune ? What will the court think of me ? They will
Say I have married very ridiculouſly .
Belfor, thus divided betwixt love and ambition, did
not know to which to ircline : but though he was not
yet reſolved whether he ſhould marry Leonora or not,
yet he determined to go to her that evening.
Don Lewis, on the other ſide, paſſed theday in con
triving the reſtoration of his honour. The conjuncture
was very nice ; to have recourſe to the laws, was to
publith his diíhonour ; beſides, he very much feared
that juſtice might be on one fide, and the judges declare
on the other . He durft not throw himlelt at the King's
feet ; for believing that prince deſigned another lady
for the Count, he was afraid it would be in vain . No
ſatisfaction was then left beſides that of arins, and it
was this he concluded on . In the heat of his reſent.
ment he was tempted to ſend a challenge ; but begin
ning to conſider that he was too old and feeble to rely
on his own arm , he choſe rather to put it into the hands
of
 UPON TWO STICKS 47
of his ſon , whoſe puſhes might prove more fortunate
and ſucceſsful. He then ſent a footman to Alcala , with
a letter for his ſon ; by which he commanded him to
come immediately to Madrid, to revenge an injury done
to the family of Celpides.
Don Pedro, his fon, is eighteen years of age, per
feetly handſome, and ſo brave, that he paſſes at Alcala
for the moſt valiant of all the ſtudents in that univerſi
ty ; but you know him , adds the devil, and therefore it
is needleſs in me to enlarge farther on his character. It
is true, ſaid Cleofas, he has all the valour and merit
which is poſſible center in a young man . He was
not then at Alcala, as his father ſuppoſed, replied Al
modeus ; for the deſire of ſeeing a lady whom he loved ,
had brought him to Madrid . The laſt time he had
been there to ſee his relations, he made his conqueſt at
the Prado. He did not yet know her name : for the
had obliged him not to uſe any means to inform himſelf,
to which cruel neceſſity he ſubmitted, though with
great difficulty . It was a woman of quality who had
conceived a paſſion for him , and , believing the ought
to diſtruſt the diſcretion and conitancy of a ſtudent, Me
thought fit to try him before the diſcovered herſelf .
This unknown fair took up more of his thoughts
than Ariſtotle's philoſophy ; and Alcala being fituate
fo near the city, he, as you have done, often played
truant ; with this only difference, that it was for the
fake of an object which deſerved much better than your
Donna Thomaſa. To conceal the knowledge of his
amorous journies from Don Lewis, his father, he uſed
to lodge at an inn in the ſuburbs, where he carefully
Theltered himſelf under a borrowed name. He never
went out but at a certain hour in the morning, when he
was obliged to go to a houſe where the lady , which oc
caſioned this neglect of his ſtudies, was ſo kind as to
come , accompanied by a chambermaid . He then lived
locked up in his inn the relt of the day ; but, in requi
tal, at night he walked all over the city .
It happened one night as he crolled a by-ſtreet, he
lieard
 43 THE DEVIL
heard the found of ſeveral voices and inſtruments which
ſeemed worth his attention ; whereupon he ſtopped , and
found it tobe a ſerenade given by a gentleman that was
drunk , and naturally very brutiſhly rude. He had no
fooner difcerned our ſtudent, but he immediately ran to
him , and , without any other compliment, Friend, faid
he , in a haſty tone, go about your buſineſs; I do not
love inquiſitive people. I might have withdrawn, an.
ſwered Don Pedro, mocked at theſe words, if you had
deſired me in a more civil manner ; butI will now ſtay
to teach you better language. Wewill ſee then, ſaid
the maſter of the concert, drawing his ſword, which of
us two ſhall yield the place to the other.
Don Pedro alſo drew his ſword , and they began to
engage. Though the maſter of the ſenerade acquitted
himſelf with great dexterity, yet he could not parry a
mortal thruit, upon the receipt of which he fell dead
on the ſpot . All the actors of the concert, who had
by this time quitted their muſic, and were drawing
their ſwords to aſſiſt him , now came on to revenge his
death: they all at once fell upon Don Pedro, who on
this occaſion ſhewed his utmoſt ſkill ; for, beſides par
rying with ſurpriſing dexterity all the paffes made at
him , he himſelf made very vigorous ones , and at once
kept all his enemies employed . But they ſo obſtinate .
ly perſiſting, and their number being too great, as able
a fencer as he was, he could not have eſcaped alive, if
the Count de Belfor, who then paſſed by, had not
taken his part . The Count, wanting neither courage
nor a large ſhare of generoſity, could not ſee ſo many
fwords drawn upon one man, without engaging himſelf
on his ſide. He drew , and joining with Don Pedro,
they puſhed ſo briſkly at the ſerenaders, that they all
fed , ſome wounded, and others for fear of being fo .
After their retreat, the Itudent began to thank the
Count for his aſſiſtance; but Belflor interrupting him ,
Nomore of that , ſaid he : Are you not wounded ? No,
replied Don Pedro. Let us get from this place, re
plied the Count. I ſee you have killed a man ; it is
dangerous
 UPON TWO STICKS . 49
dangerous to ſtay longer in this ſtreet ; you may per
haps be ſeized. Upon which they, immediately mak
ing the beſt of their way, got into another ſtreet; and
when they were advanced a good diſtance from the place
where they fought, they ſtopped .
Don Pedro, very ſenſibly influenced by juſt and grate
ful ſentiments, intreated the Count not to conceal from
him the name of a gentleman to whom he was ſo much
obliged . Belflor made no ſcruple of telling it, and alſo
defired to know his. But the itudent, unwilling to diſ
cover himſelf, ſaid his name was Don Juan de Matos,
and aſſured the Count that he would never forget what
be had done for him .
I would willingly, ſaid the Count, preſent you with
an opportunity of diſchargingyour obligation to me this
very night. I am engaged to a meeting not wholly
free from danger, and was going in ſearch of a friend
to accompany me. I am ſenſible of your valour, and ,
07 therefore, Don Juan, I deſire your friendſhip. Your
feeming to doubt it renders me fomewhat uneaſy, re
plied the ſtudent . I do not know how to employ the
life which you have ſaved better than in expoſing it for
ce you . Let us make haſte ; I am ready to follow you.
Belflor then conducted Don Pedro to Don Lewis's
houſe , and by the balcony they both entered Leonora's
apartment.
Don Cleofas interrupted the devil here. Signior Al
modeus, ſaid he, how was it poſſible Don Pedro should
not know his father's houſe ? That was impoſſible, re
plied the dæmon ; for Don Lewis had not removed to
his houſe above eight days ; which I deſigned to have
told you, had you not interrupted me . You are too
halty, and have got an ill cuſtom of breaking the thread
of other people's diſcourſe . Pray correct that fault for
the future.
Don Pedro , continued the devil , did not ſo much as
fufpect that he was at his father's houſe,nor thought the
who introduced him was Madam Marcella , by reaſon the
received hiin in the dark in an anti-chamber ; where Bela
F fior
6
 go THE DEVIL
for intreated his companion to ſtay as long as he ſhould
remain with the lady: io which the ſtudent conſenter ,
and ſat down with his naked fword in his hand for fear
of a ſurprize. His thoughts were taken up with the
favours which he concluded love was ſhowering on Bel
flor ,' and wiſhed himſelf as happy as he; for though he
was not ill- treated by his unknown miſtreſs, ſhe had not
yet all the tenderneſs for him which Leonora had for the
Count .
Whilft he was making all the reflections on this ad
venture that could poſſibly occur to the mind of a paſ.
fionate lover, he heard a perſon ſoftly endeavouring to
open another door beſides that of the lovers, and diſcern
ed a glimmering light through the key-hole. He haf
tily aroſe, made towards the door that opened, and pre
fented the point of his naked ſword to the breaſt of his
father ; for it was he who was going to Leonora's apart
ment, to ſee whether the Count was not there. ' The
good old gentleman did not believe, after what had
paſſed , that his daughter and Marcella would again ven
ture to admit him, which alone prevented his lodging
them in another apartnient. But yet he was apt to
think , that, before their entrance into the convent on
the morrow, they might be willing to take their laſt
leave .
Whoever thou art , ſaid the ſtudent, do not enter this
room on peril of thy life. At theſe words Don Lewis
looked at Don Pedro, whofe eyes were fixed on him with
tqual attention ; ſo that they ſoon knew each other.
Ah, my ſon , ſaid the old gentleman, with what iinpa
tience have I expected you ! Why did you not advertiſe
me of your arrival? were you afraid of breaking my reft ?
Alas ! I am incapable ofany repoſe in the miſerable con
dition in which I at preſent am . Oh ! my father, ſaid
Don Pedro, all in confuſion, is it you that I ſee ? Are not
my eyes deceived by a falſe likeneſs ? Whence proceeds
this ſurprize ? replied Don Lewis : are you not at your
father's houſe ? Did I not acqnaint you bymy letter,
that eight days fince I removed hither ? Juſt Heaven,
replied
 UPON TWO STICKS .
51
replied the ſtudent, what do I hear ? I am then at pre
fent in my ſiſter's apartment.
At theſe words, the Count, who had heard the noiſe,
and ſuppoted that his guard was attacked, came out of
Leonora's chainber with his ſword in his hand . The
old gentleman, diſtracted at this fight, and thewing him
to his fon, cried out, This is the audacious villain who
has robbed me of my reſt, and caſt a fatal ſtain upon the
honour of our houſe ; let us then revenge ourſelves, let
us inſtantly puniſh the traitor. Theſe words were no
fooner out of his mouth, than he drew the ſword he had
under his night-gown, and began to attack the Count ;
but Don Pedro reſtrained him . Stay, father, faid he, I
beg you to moderate the tranſports of your rage. What
do you mean, my fon ? anſwered the old man : why do
you hold my arm ? You doubtleſs think it is too weak
to revenge us . Well then, take ſatisfaction yourſelf
for the affront given to our family, which is the only
reaſon why I ſent for you to Madrid. If you fall, I
will ſecond you . The Count mult periſh by our hands,
or take away both our lives, after having robbed us of
our honour.
Father, replied Don Pedro, I cannot yield to what
your impatience expects of me. I am ſo very far from
attempting the Count's life, that I came hither to de
fend it ; my word is paſſed for it , and my honour de .
mands it. Let us then retire, my Lord, continued he,
addreſſing himſelf to Belflor . Ha ! bale wretch , inter
rupted Don Lewis, looking on Don Pedro with a very
angry air, duft thou thyſelf oppoſe the execution of a
vengeance wherein all thy force ought to have been em
ployed ? My fon, my own fon , correſponds with the
perfidious wretch that has ſeduced my daughter : But
do not think to eſcape my relentment ; I will call up all
my domeſtics, who fhall revenge me of his treachery and
your cowardice.
Sir , replied Don Pedro, be juſter to your ſon, and do
not call him a coward, for he never deſerved that hateful
nane .
The Count has ſaved my life this night. He
F 2 propoſed
52 THE DEVIL
propoſed my going with him , whither I did not know ,
but on a certain appointment. I offered to ſhare the
dangers he might encounter, without ever ſuſpecting
that my gratitude would imprudently engage my arm
againſt the honour ofmy family. Myword then obliges
me to defend his life here ; and in ſo doing I Mall diſ .
charge it ; not that I am lets fenfibly touched with the
injory he has done our family , and to -morrow you ſhall
ſee me as eager to ſhed his blood, as you now ſee me
zealous in the preſervation of his life.
The Count, who hitherto remained ſilent, being tho
roughly ftruck with the amazing circumſtances of this
adventure, now ſpoke. Perhaps, ſaid he, addreſſing
himſelf to Don Pedro, you may meet with but indiffc
rent ſucceſs in revenging this injury by force of arms:
I will offer you a furer way of re-eſtabliſhing your hon
our. I freely own to you , that till this day I never de
ſigned to marry Leonora ; but I this morning received
a letter from her , wherewith I was ſenſibly touched ;
her tears have juſt compleated the work , and the happi
neſs of being her huſband is at preſent the utmoſt of my
deſires . If the King deſigns you another wife, ſaid
Don Lewis, how will you diſpenſe with The King
never propoſed any match to me, interrupted Belflor,
blufing. Pray pardon that fi&tion in a man whole rea
fon was overpowered by love . It is a crime which the
violence of my paſſion hurried me on to commit, and
which I expiate by confeffing it.
My Lord, replied the old gentleman , after an acknow.
ledgment ſo ſuitable to a great mind, I no longer doubt
your sincerity: I ſee you are reſolved effectually to re
pair the injury we have received, and my anger yields to
the afiurances you have given me ; permit me then to
forget my relentment in you arms . At theſe words he
ran to the Count, who few to prevent him . They mu
tually embraced ſeveral times ; and Belflor turning him
felf to Don Pedro, And you , the counterfeit Don Juan,
laid he, you, who have gained my eſteem by an unparal
leled yalour and a noble mind , allow me to vow a lin
cere
 UPON TWO STICKS . 53
cere fraternal friendship to you . At theſe words he
embraced Don Pedro, who receiving his careſſes with a
fubmiſſive and reſpectful air, thus anſwered him : My
Lord , in promiſing me fuch a valuable friendſhip, you
engage mine; and I entreat that you would always con
clude me one who will continue devoted to you to the
end of my life .
In the mean while, Leonora, who was liſtening all the
while at the chamber- door, did not loſe one word of all
they ſaid . She was at firſt tempted to throw herſelf in
the middle of the ſwords, without knowing why ; but
Marcella prevented her : and when that dexterous duenna
perceived all things likely to end ſo amicably, ſhe con
cluded that her preſence and that of her miſtreſs would
Tłot prejudice the accommodation; whereupon they both
appeared with their handkerchiefs in their hands, and
weeping, ran to proſtrate themſelves at Don Lewis's
feet. They feared, and not without reaſon, after their
being ſurprized laſt night, that the old gentleman's anger
might return : but raiſing Leonora, he ſaid , Daughter,
dry up your tears, I will not blame you any more ; ſince
your lover hath reſolved to keep the faith which he has
ſworn to you, I conſent to forget what is paft.
Yes, Don Lewis, ſaid the Count, I will marry Leo
nora ; and yet more effectually to repair the injury I
have done you, to give you an entire fatisfaction, and
yourfon a pledge of my friendſhip for him , I offer him
my ſiſter Eugenia . Ah! my Lord , cried Don Lewis in
a rapture, how ſenſible am I of the honour you do my
fon! What father was ever happier ? you now ſhoweras
much joy on me, as before you loaded me with ſorrow .
Though the old man was charmed with the Count's
offer, yet Don Pedro was not : being wholly taken up
with the thought of his unknown lady, he was fo
diſturbed and confuſed that he could not ſay one word .
But Belfor, without regarding his trouble, departed ;
telling them he would order all the neceſſary preparations
to be made for this double union, and affuring them
that he was impatient till he was fixed to them by thoſe
ftri & t bonds . F 3 After
 THE DEVIL
After his departure, Dun Lewis left Leonora in her
apartment, and went into his own with Don Pedro, who,
with all the frankneis of a young ſtudent, faid, Sir, I beg
you would diſpenſe with my marrying the Count's hifter,
It is enough that he marry Leonora ; that will be ſuffi
cient to retrieve the honour of our family. What, fon !
replied the old man , can you refuſe the Count's ſiſter ? Yes,
father , replied Don Pedro ; that union , I own , would
prove a cruel torment to me, the cauſe of which I will
not conceal. It is now ſix months ſince I love, or rather
adore, a charming lady ; ſhe admits me, and he alone
can render my lite happy.
How miserable is the ſtate of a father ! ſaid Don
Lewis : he ſcarce ever finds his children diſpoſed to what
he deſires . But who then is this lady that has made fuch
violent impreſſions on you ? I do not yet know , anſwered
Don Pedro; ſhe has promiſed to inform me, when ſhe
ſhall have been fully ſatisfied of my diſcretion and con
ftancy, nor do I doubt but ſhe is of one of the moſt con
fiderable families in Spain.
And do you fancy, replied the old man, changing his
tone, that I will be to complaiſant as to approve your
romantic love ? that I fall ſuffer you to quit the
molt glorious eſtablihment that fortune can ever offer
you , to keep you conſtant to a perſon of whom you do
not know ſo much as the name ! Stifle rather theſe ſen
timents for an object which perhaps may be unworthy
of them , and think of nothing but deſerving the honour
which the Count is doing you . All thele diſcuurſes
are in vain, father, replied the ſtudent; I feel it im.
poſſible for me ever to forget my unknown fair ; no
thing can diſengage me from her : ſhould the Infanta
be offered mem Hold , cried the father, haſtily ; it is
too infolent to boaſt a conſtancy which raiſes my anger.
Be gone, and never let me ſee you again until you are
reſolved to obey me.
Don Pedro durft not reply to theſe words, for fear
of drawing on ſomething more ſevere. He retired to
his chamber, where lie paſſed the reſt of the night in
reflections
 UPON TWO STICKS .
55
reflections equally melancholy and agreeable. He con
fidered with grief that he was going to break with all
14 . his family, by refuſing tomarry the Count's ſiſter. But
he was perfectly comforted , when he repreſented to him
felf how his unknown lady muſt value him for ſuch a
facrifice. He flattered himſelf, that , after ſuch a ſhining
proof of his fidelity, ſhe would not fail to diſcover her
C
quality, which he imagined little inferior to that of Eu
genia's. With theſe hopes, as ſoon as it was day , he
went to take a walk in the Prado, expecting the ap
pointed hour to go to the apartment of Donna Juana ; for
chat was the name of the lady in whoſe lodgings he uſed
D- to meet his miſtreſs every morning. He waited for the
happy moment with great impatience, and when it was
come, flew to the place of rendezvous. He found his
unknown charmer ' already come thither ſooner than or
dinary ; but touched with ſuch a ſenſible grief as ex
0 preſſed itſelf to Donna Juana in ſhowers of tears . A
diſmal ſpectacle for herlover! All in confuſion he ap
proached her, and flinging himſelf at her knees, Ma.
dam , ſaid he, what mult I think of the condition in
which I ſee you ? Doubtleſs, anſwered ſhe, you do not
expect the fatal blow which I bring you. Cruel fortune
is ſeparating us for ever, and we are never to ſee each
other more . She accompanied there words with ſo
many ſigns, that I do not know whether Don Pedro was
more touched with what ſhe ſaid , or the grief the diſco
vered in the utterance of it . Juſt Heaven ! cried he,
with an exceſs of rage which he could not reſtrain , is it
s
poſſible for you to ſuffer the breaking of an union, the in
nocence of which you know ! But, Madam , adds he , per
haps you have taken a falſe alarm . Is it certainly true
that you will be torn from the moſt faithful lover that
ever was ? Muſt I really be the moſt miſerable of allmen ?
Our ill fate is but too ſure, anſwered the unknown fair.
My brother, on whom I depend , will marry me this day,
as he has juſt this minute declared to me. Ah ! who
is that happy bridegroom ? very haſtily, replied Don
Pedro; name him to me, Madam : I will in my deſpair
$
I do
 56 THE DEVIL
-I do not yet know his name, interrupted the lady ;
my brother would not acquaint me with it . He told me
that he delired I fould firſt ſee the gentleman.
But, Madam , faid Don Pedro will you ſubmit to a
brother's will without reſiſtance ? Will you ſuffer your
ſelf to be dragged to the altar, without complaining of
the cruelty of theſacrifice ? Will you make no attempts
in ny favour ? Alas, I was not afraid ofexpoſing my
felf to my father's rage, to reſervemyſelf entirely yours !
His threats could not take my fidelity ; and with what
rigour loever he may treat me, I will not marry the lady
he propoſes, though the match is very advantageous.
And who is this lady ? ſaid the unknown beauty. It
is the Count de Belfor’s filter, replied the ſtudent. Ah ,
Don Pedro, replied the, diſcovering an extreme ſurprize,
you doubtleſs miſtake ! you are not ſure of what you
lay ! Is it really Eugenia de Belflor who is propoled to
you !
Yes, Madam , replied Don Pedro; the Count himſelf
made me the offer. How , cried ſhe, is it poſſible that
you ſhould be the cavalier for whom my brother deſigns
me? What do I hear ! cried Don Pedro in his turn ; is
my unknown angel then Eugenia de Belfor? Yes, Don
Pedro, replied me; but I ſcarce believe myſelf to be any
longer lo ; ſo hard is it for me to perſuade myſelf of the
reality of the liappineſs of which you aſſure me.
At theſe words Don Pedro embraced her knees , ſeized
one of her handswith all the raptures that a lover, ſud
denly removed from the extremities of pain to an exceſs
of joy, could poſſibly feel. Whilſt he thus abandoned
himfelf to the emotions of his love , Eugenia , on her part,
gave him a thouſand proofs of her affection, which the
accompanied with tender engaging expreſſions. What
racking pains , ſaid the, would my brother have ſpared
me, had he but named the huſband he deſigned me !
What an averfion had I already conceived for my ſpouſe !
Ah , my dear Don Pedro , how much did I hate you !
BrightEugenia, anſwered he, how charming is that ha
tred to me ! I will deſerve it by adoring you all mylife.
After
 UPON TWO STICKS .
57
...
After theſe two lovers had given each other all the
moſt moving ſigns of their mutual tenderneſs , Eugenia
defired to know how the ſtudent could gain her brother's
friendhip: Don Pedro did not conceal from her the
amours of the Count and his fifter, but related to her all
that paſſed the laſt night . She was infinitely pleaſed to
hear that her brother was to marry her lover's lifter ; and
Donna Juana had too great a fare in her friend's fate,
not to be touched with this happy event . She teſtified
1 her joy to her, as well as to Don Pedro , who at laſt left
ca Eugenia , after their having mutually reſolved not to
feem to know one another when they appeared before
1 the Count.
Don Pedro returned to his father, who, finding him
perfectly diſpoſed to obedience, was the better pleated,
becauſe he aſcribed it to his abſolute manner of deport
ing himſelf towards his fon the laſt night. They were
expecting news from the Count the very minute they
received a letter from him , which adviſed them that he
King's conſent to his marriage,
had juſt obtained thewith
and that of his fifter, the addition of a conſiderable
poft for Don Pedro ; that on the morrow both nuptials
Die might be celebrated, his orders having been ſo diligently
** executed, that all the preparations were already far ad
vanced . He came in the afternoon to confirm what he
had written , and to preſent Eugenia to them .
Don Lewis ſhewed that lady all imaginable civilities ;
and Leonora did not neglect tenderly embracing her.
As for Don Pedro, by whatſoever motions of love and
joy he was agitated, he yet ſufficiently reſtrained him
felf, to avoid the Count's having any fufpicion of their
the former correſpondence .
Belfior, particularly applying himſelf to obſerve his
fifter, thought he diſcovered, notwithſtanding the con
straint the impoſed on herſelf, that the did not diſlike
Don Pedro . But the better to aſſure himſelf of the
truth of his conjecture, he took her aſide for a moment,
and made her own that ſhe was extremely well pleaſed
with her cavalier , He then told his name and family ,
which
 68 THE DEVIL
which he before concealed, left the inequality of their
conditions ſhould have prejudiced her againft him : all
this ſhe pretended to hear as though utterly ignorant of
it before.
At laſt, after the exchange of a multitude of civilities
on both ſides, it was reſolved that the wedding ſhould
be kept at Don Lewis's houſe ; and the nuptial feftivi.
ties are this night acting, but not finiſhed ; and that is
the reaſon of ſuch great rejoicing in that houſe, in which
all the company unanimoully join , except Marcella , who
has no ſhare in it . She cries whilſt the reſt Jaugh ; for
the Count de Belflor, after his marriage, confeſſed the
whole ſtory to Don Lewis, who hadordered her to be ſent
to the * monaſterio de los arrepentidas, where the thou.
fand piſtoles which ſhe received to ſeduce Leonora will
ſerve her to do penance with the remainder of her life.
C H A P. VI .
Other particulars which the ſtudentfaw ,and the manner
of his being revenged on Donna Thomaſa .
LET usturn tothe other fide,continued Aſmodeus,
and run over fome new objccts. Caft your eyes on
the firſt houſe directly under us, where you will fee fome
thing extraordinary . It is a man conſiderably in debt, in
a profound neep . He muit then be a man of quality,
faid Leandro. You have gueffed right, anſwered the
dæmon . It is a Marquis who has an hundred thouſand
ducats a- year, and yet his expences exceed his income.
His table and his miſtreſſes oblige him to run confider
ahly in debt, and yet it does not break bis reſt. On the
contrary, when he has a mind to run in a tradeſman's
debt , he fancies that he is obliging him extremely. It
is with you , ſaid he the other day to a draper, it is with
you for the future I intend to deal upon credit, and I
give you the preference.
Whilst the Marquis is enjoying the ſweets of repoſe,
which he is robbing his creditors of, obierve that man
slio
Siay, Signior Aſmodeus, interrupted
Don Cleofas, haftily, I ſee a coach in the ſtreet, which I
cannot

* A Monaſtery in which lewd women are ſhut up.

 UPON TWO STICKS .
59
cannot let paſs without aſking you who is in it. Huh !
ſaid the cripple, lowering his voice, as if he was afraid
of being overheard , you are to know there is in that
coach one of the graveſt perſons in the realm in diſguiſe.
He is a preſident, going to make merry with an old
Aſturian lady, who istubſervient to his pleaſures. That
he may not be known, he has taken Caligulas's precau
tion , who, on ſuch another occaſion, put on a peruke to
diſguiſe himſelf.
Let us return to the ſcene I was going to lay before
you when you interrupted me. Oblerve in the upper
moſt part the Marquis' palace a man very buiy in
s
his cloſet, which is full of books and manuſcripts. Per
haps, ſaid Zambullo , it is the Marquis's ſteward , who
is contriving means to pay his maſter's debts . Good !
2 replied the devil ; that muſt needs be what ſtewards of
ſuch families amuſe themſelves with. Their buſineſs is
rather to make an advantage of the diſorder of their
maſter's affairs, than extricate them out of it . So that
it is not a ſteward you ſee there, but an author . The
Marquis has lodged him in his palace, to give him felf
an air of encouraging men of letters . This author , then ,
replied Don Cleofas, isa man of ſome note. You are to
judge of that yourſelf , anſwered the dæmon ; he is ſur
rounded by a thouſand volumes, and is compiling one ,
in which there will not be a line , of his own . He pilters
from all thoſe books and manuſcripts, and, though he
only methodizes and connects his thefts, yet he has a
larger ſhare of vanity than a real author.
734 You do not know , continued the ſpirit, who lives
. within three doors of this palace ? It is la Chicona,
whom I have already made ſuch honourable mention of
ici in the ſtory of Count de Belfor. Ah, how I am raviſhed
at the light ofher ! ſaid the fudent. The good woman lo
eter very ferviceable to young people, is doubtleſs one of thoſe
two old women which I ſee in that room . The one is
leaning with her elbows on the table , carneſtly looking
on the other, who is telling inoney . Which of the two
'is la Chicona ? She, laid the dæmon , leaning on her
elbows .
 60 THE DEVIL
elbows. The other is called la Pebreda, an honour
able lady of the ſame occupation; they are partners, and
at this moment dividing the profits of an adventure which
they have juſt now brought to bear.
La Pebreda has the beſt trade, and deals with ſeve .
ral rich widows, to whom ſhe carries her lift to read
every day. What do you mean by her lift ? interrupted
the Audent. It is, replied Aſmodeus, a catalogue of all
the handſome foreigners who come to Madrid, eſpecially
French . As ſoon as ever la Pebreda hears any freſ
ones are arrived, ſhe runs to their inns, and Nily informs
herſelf of their birth, ſhape, air, and age. She then
makes her report to the widows, who conſider of it ;
and, if they are ſo inclined, la Pebreda brings them to
the ſpeech of the ſaid ſtrangers.
This is not only very convenient, replied Zambullo,
but in a fort lawful : for without theſegood ladies and
their agents, young ſtrangers, who have no acquaintance
here, would be obliged to go to the expence of an infinite
deal of time to create fome. But pray tell me, are there
any of this fort of widows and neceſſary ladies in other
countries ? A pretty queſtion, indeed ! whether there are !
anſwered the cripple. Do you doubt it ? I ſhould very
ill acquit myſelf in my office, if I neglected to ſtock ail
great cities with them .
Give your attention a little to a neighbour of la Chic
cora, that printer, at work alone in his printing-houſe.
He has ſent his ſervants to bed theſe three hours, and
is going to ſpend the night in printing a book private
ly . How ! what can it be then ? ſaid Leandro . It is
á libel , anſwered the dæmon ; it proves that religion is
preferable to points of honour ; and that it is better to
forgive than revenge an affront. What a raſcal ! cried
the ſtudent: he does well to print his infamous book in
private ; nor would I adviſethe author to own it, for
Í ſhould be one of the firſt to cane him . What, does
religion forbid the preſervation of our honour ? Do not
let us enter upon that diſpute , interrupted Aſmodeus,
with an ill.natured finile . It ſeems you have improved
well
 UPON TWO STICKS . 60
well by the lectures of morality you have received at
Alcala. I give you joy of your improvement. You
may ſay what you pleaſe, interrupted Don Cleofas in
his ' turn, but let the author's arguments be the most
beautiful and clear that can be invented , I ſhall laugh
at them . I am a Spaniard , and nothing in the world is
ſo ſweet to me as revenge. And ſince you have pro
miſed to do me juſtice on my perfidious miſtreſs, I de
mand that you keep your word.
I yield with pleaſure to the tranſport that fires you ,
faid thedevil. Oh, how I love thoſe bold ſpirits who
purſue all their inclinations without ſcruple ! I will this
moment ſatisfy you, the time of your vengeance is near
at hand . But I would firſt ſhew you ſomething that
will divert you extremely. Carryyour eye beyond the
printing -houſe, and take notice of what is doing in an
apartment hung with crimſon cloth . I ſee five or fix
women, anſwered Leandro, crouding and preſſing one
another to thruſt glaſs bottles into the hands of a fort
of a ſervant, and they appear to me in a violent agi
tation .
1
Theſe are, replied the cripple, devout ladies, who
F
have great reaſon for their uneaſineſs, for in that apart
ment is an inquiſitor who lies fick. This venerable
perſon, who is about five and thirty, is lodged in a
chamber rear where you ſee thoſe women. Two of his
favourite penitents are watching with him . One is
employed in making him broths, and the other at his
boliler is keeping his head warm , and covering his fto .
mach with a ſtomacher made of fifty lamb ſkins. What
is his diftemper, then ? ſaid Zambullo . A little cold
in his head, replied the devil ; and it is to be feared the
rheum may fall on his lungs.
The other women you ſee in his anti-chamber are alſo
devout ladies, who, on the news of his indiſpoſition ,
ran thither in all hafte with medicines. One of them
has brought him, for his cough, ſyrups of jujubes,
marſhmallows, coral, and colts- foot : another, to pre
ferve his . Reverence's lungs, is laden with ſyrups of
G long
 62 THE DEVIL

long-life, veronica, immortality, and elixir proprie.

tatis : ancther, to fortify his brain and ſtomach , has
brought balın , cinnamon and treacle water ; beſides
the divine water, and eſſences of nutmegs and amber
gris : this comes to offer him anacardine , and bezoardic
confections ; and that tincture of clove gilly - flowers,
coral , millefiorum , the ſun , and emeralds. All theſe
women are boaſting the efficacy of their medicines to
the inquiſitor's footman ; they take him aſide one after
another, and each of them, clapping a ducat in his hand,
thus wiſpers him in the ear : Laurence, dear Laurence,
I intreat you no to fail preferring my medicines to all
the reſt .
Bleſs me! cried Don Cleofas, what happy mortals
are theſe inquiſitors ! Indeed are they, replied Aſmo
deus. I myſelf almoſt envy their happineſs ; and as
Alexander once ſaid , That, were he not Alexander, he
could wish to be Diogenes ; ſo I might well ſay, That;
were I not a devil, I would be an inquiſitor. Come,
Signior ſtudent, added he, now let us go and puniſh
the baſe woman who fo ill returned your tenderneſs.
Upon which Zambullo took hold of the end of Aſmo
deus's cloak , who cleft the air a ſecond time with him,
and ſat him down on Donna Thomaſa's houſe.
The baggage was at table with the four bullies who
had purſued the ſtudent over the tiles ; he trembled
withoutrageous reſentment to ſee them eat a brace of
partridges and a rabbit, and empty ſeveral bottles of
wine, for which he had paid , and ſent thither. To
crown his vexation, he ſaw there was nothing but
mirth going forward, and found, by the deinonſtrations
Donna Thomaſa gave, that the company of theſe
wretches was mo e agreeable to that abandoned crea.
ture than his own . Ah , raſcals, cried he, inflamed
with rage, how deliciouſly they fare at my expence,
and a fine mortification this to me !
I confeſs, ſaid the devil, it is no very pleaſant fight;
but they who will frequent ſuch looſe ,ladies mult ex
pect adventures of this kind ; they happen every day
in
 UPON TWO STICKS . 63
in France to abbes , men of the long robe, and rich
farmers of the revenue . If I had a ſword, replied Don
Cleofas , I would break in upon thoſe villains, and ſpoil
their entertainment . You would be over-matched , re
plied the cripple : leave your revenge to me; I will com
paſs it better than you ; I will this moment ſet thein
together by the ears, by inſpiring them with a lafcivi
ous flame, and they ſhall draw their ſwords upon each
other ; you will ſee a fine uproar preſently.
At theſe words he blew , and out of his mouth iſſued
1
a violet- coloured vapour, that defcended waving like a
fquib , and ſpread itfelf over Donna Thomaſa's table.
One of the gueſts, immediately feeling the effect of
this blaft, drew near the lady, and paſſionately em
braced her ; but the others , puſhed on by the force of
the ſame vapour, endeavoured to tear her from him .
Each pretended to the preference, whichthey now be
gan to diſpute, and a jealous rage poffefred all their
minds: they came to blows, drew their ſwords, and
began to engage very warmly. In the mean while
Donna Thomaſa fhrieked in a horrible manner, and the
neighbourhood was immediately alarmed : they cried
out for the officers of juſtice to come ; which they im
mediately did , broke open the courtezan's doors, found
two of the ruffians dead on the ſpot, ſeized the reſt,
and carried them to priſon with Donna Thomaſa, who,
crying and tearing her hair, loft all patience, whilft her
guards were not a jot more moved than Zambullo, who
laughed very heartily with Aſmodeus.
Well , ſaid the dæmon to the ſtudent, are you fatis
fied ? No, replied Don Cleofas : if you would fatisfy
me entirely , you muſt ihew me the priſon. What ex
quiſite pleaſure it will be to me, to ſee that wretch ,
who made a jeſt of my paffion, fhut up there ? I find
% that I now hate her more than before I loved her .
With all my heart, replied the devil ; you ſhall always
find me ready to obiige you, though it were even againſt
my inclination and intereſt, ſo that it be for your good.
In a moment they reached the priſon , where, toon
G2 after,
 64 THE DEVIL

atter, the two bullies were brought, and clapped into

a dark dungeon . As for Thomaſa, ſhe was lodged on
Araw, with three or four looſe women who had been
taken up that day, and who on the morrow were to be
carried to the place appointed for ſuch creatures.
Now I am ſatisfied, ſaid Zambullo ; I have had the
pleaſure of a full revenge. My friend Thomaſa will
not paſs the night fo agreeably as the expected . Let
us go and purſue our obſervations where you pleaſe.
This is a place very proper for them, anſwered the fpi
rit ; there are here a great number of guilty and inno
cent people ; and it is a retirement which begins the
puniſhments of the one, and purifies the virtue of the
others. I will ſhew you ſome priſoners of each kind,
and tell you why they are kept in chains.
CHAP . VII .
Of the PRISONERS.
EFORE I enter into particulars, pray take notice
BEI
of the goalers at the entrance into theſe horrid places.
The ancient poets placed but one Cerberus at hell
gates , but here is a far greater nnmber, as you ree .
The goalers are villains who have loſt all fentiments
of humanity. The wickedeſt ofmybrethren could hard
ly ſupply the place of one of them . But I find , added he,
you look with horror on theſe rooms, where all the ſur
niture is a wretched bed , and thoſe frightful dungeons
appear to you like ſo many graves. It is with reaſon
that you are aſtoniſhed at the miſery of theſe places,
and pity the fate of thoſe wretches whom the law de
tains in them . Yet they do not all deſerve the ſame
compaſſion ; their merits therefore Mall be the ſubject
of our examination .
Firſt of all , in that large chamber on the right, are
four men lying on thoſe two wretched beds you ſee. One
is a vintner, accuſed of poiſoning a ſtranger, who the
other day dropped down dead in his houſe. It is pre
tended that the quality of the wine killed the decealed ;
but the vintner alledges it was the quantity , and will
be believed at his trial ; for the ſtranger was a Ger .
man ,
21
UPON TWO STICKS . 65
nan . And which of them are in the right, ſaid Don
Cleofas, the vintner or his proſecutors ? The affair is
extremely delicate, anſwered the devil . It is true the
wine was adulterated ; but, on my conſcience, the Ger
man had drank ſo largely, that the judges may ſafely ſet
the vintner at liberty .
The ſecond priſoner is by profeſſion an aſſaſſinator,
2.
one of thoſe cut- throats called * Valientes, who, for
four or five piſtoles, are very ready to oblige ſuch with
the uſe of their arm, that will be at the expence, to be
privately rid of an enemy . The third is a fop of a
dancing maſter, who taught one of his female ſcholars
a falſe ſtep. The fourth is a lover, caught by the watch,
as he was ſcaling the balcony of a woman of his ac
quaintance, whoſe huſband was abſent. It is his own
fault he does not get out, by declaring his deſign was
purely amorous; but he chuſes rather to pals for a
thief, and run the risk of his life, than expoſe his mil
c.
treſs's honour. A very diſcreet lover indeed , ſaid the
ftudent : it muſt be owned that our nation outdoes all
others in point of gallantry. I dare venture a wager ,
that there is not a Frenchman in the world, for exam .
ple, that would ſuffer himſelf to be hanged for his diſ
cretion . No, I aſſure you , ſaid the devil ; a Frenchman
would fo ner clamber over a balcony to diſgrace the
woman that ſhould fhow him any favour.
In the cloſet next to thoſe four men, continued he,
is a famous witch, who has the reputation of being able
to do impoſſibilities. By her art, it is reported, old
widow -ladies find gallants that love them on the ſquare ;
huſbands become just to their wives, and coquettes
32
really in love with the rich gallants that keep them .
But nothing is more falle : the is not miſtreſs of any
Com
other ſecret, than that of perſuading the worldThſhe ispoſo,
and of living handſomely on that opinion. is or
creature the inquiſition claims, and very pobably the
will be burnt at the firſt auto de fe .
Under the cloſet there is aG dungeon,
3
that ſerves for a
lodging
* Valientes, in the Spaniſh, ſignifies bravos or rufians
 66 THE DEVIL
lodging to a young vintner. What, my hoſt again !
cried Leandro ; ſure theſe people have a mind to poiſon
all the world . This man's caſe is not the ſame, re
plied Aſmodeus ; he was ſeized yesterday , and is like
wife claimed by the inquiſition . I will in few words re
late to you the ſubject of his commitment. An old
ſoldier, by his courage, or rather patience, having
mounted to the poſt of a ſerjeant in his company, came
to raiſe recruits in this city . He enquired for a lodging
at an inn, where he was anſwered, that they had indeed
empty rooms, but that they could not recommend any
of them to him , becauſe the houle was haunted every
night by a ſpirit, which treated all ſtrangers very ill
that were raih enough to lodge there. This did not at
all baulk our ſerjeant. Put me in what chamber you
pleaſe , faid he, do but give me a candie , wine, pipes,
and tobacco ; and as for the ſpirit, never trouble your
ſelf about it ; ghoſts have a reſpect for men of war,
who are grown old in the ſervice,
As he ſeemed ſo reſolute, lie was ſhown into a cham
ber, where all that he deſired was brought to him . He
fell to drinking and ſmoaking till midnight, and no
fpirit had yet diſturbed the profound ſilence that reign
ed in the houſe ; one would have imagined he feared
this new gueſt; but, betwixt one and two, the ferjeant,
all of a ſudden, heard a terrible noiſe, like the rattling
of old iron, and immediately faw , entering his chamber,
an apparition, cloathed in black, and laden all around
with iron chains . Our ſmoaker, not in the leaſt af.
frighted at this fight, drew his ſword , advanced to.
wards the fpirit , and with the fac lide of it gave him a
very ſevere blow on the head .
The apparition, not much uſed to meet with ſuch
bold gueſts, cried out, and perceiving the ſoldier going
to begin again with him , he moſt humbly proftrated
himſelf at his feet . Mr. Serjeant, ſaid he , for God's
fake do not give me any more; but have mercy on a
poor devil that cafts himlelf at your feet. I conjure
you by St. James, who, as you are, was a great fol.
diera
 UPON TWO STICKS . 67
dier. If you are willing to ſave your life, anſwered
the ſoldier, you muſt tell me who you are , and ſpeak
without the leaſt prevarication , or elſe this moment I
cut you down the middle , as your knights of old were
uſed to ſerve the giants they encountered . At theſe
words, the ghoſt, finding what fort of a man he had co .
do with , reſolved to own all . I am the principal ſervant
of this inn , replied the ſpirit ; my name is Guillermo ;
I am in love with my maſter's only daughter, and the
does not diſlike me : but the father and mother, having
a better match in view , in order to compel them to
make me their ſon- in - law, the girl and I have agreed,
that I ſhall, every night, act the part which I now do.
I wrap myſelf up in a long black cloak, and hang the
jack - chain about my neck; thus equipped , I run up and
down the houſe, from the cellar to the garret, and make
all the noiſe which you have heard . When I am at my
maſter and mili reſs's chamber-door, I ſtop , and cry out,
Do not hope that I will ever letyou rejt, 1ill you marry
Juanna to Guillermo, your upperdrawer.
After having pronounced theſe words with a hoarſe
broken voice , I continue my noiſe, and at a window
enter the closet where Juanna lies alone,to give her an
account of what I have done . Mr. Serjeant, continued
Guillermo, you ſee I have told you the whole truth ; I
know that after this confeſſion you may ruin me by diſ
covering it to my maſter; but if you pleaſe to ſerve,
inſtead of undo me, I twear that my acknowledg
ments - Alas ! what ſervice can I do thee ? interrupt
ed the foldier. You need no more, returned Guiller
mo, than to ſay to -morrow , that you have ſeen the fpi
rit , that it ſo terribly affrighted you—-- How ! terri
bly affrighted ! interrupted the ſoldier : would you have
Serjeant Annibal Antonio Quebrantador own ſuch a
25 thing as fear ? I bad rather teo thouſand devils ſhould
- That is not ablulutely neceſſary, interrupted Guil
0! lermo ; and after all, it is not much matter what you
ſay, provided you fecond my deſign. And when I have
married Juanna, and am ſettled, I promile to treat you
and
68 THE DEVIL

and all your friends nobly for nothing every day. You
are a very tempting perfon, Mr, Guillermo, ſaid the
ſoldier. You propole to me to ſupport a trick : it is a
ſerious affair, which requires mature deliberation ; but the
conſequences hurry me on. Go, continue your noiſe,
give youraccount to Juanna,and I willtake care ofthe reſt.
Accordingly, next morning, he ſaid to his landlord
and landlady, I have ſeen the ſpirit, and have talked
with it . It is a very honeſt fellow . I am , ſaid he , the
great -grandfather of the maſter of this houſe. I had a
daughter whom I promiſed to the father of the grandfa
ther of this drawer. However, neglecting the word I
had given him , I married ber to another, and died foon
after, and ever ſince am tormented as the puniſhment of
my perjury, and thall never be at reſt, till one of my
family ſhall marry one of Guillermo's ; and it is for this
reaſon I walk here every night. Yet it is to no purpoſe
that I bid them marry Juanna to their head -d : awer .
The fon of my grandſon and his wife turn the deaf ear
to all I can ſay. But tell them , ifyou pleaſe, Mr. Ser
jeant, that if they do not immediately comply with my
deſires, I ſhall proceed to action, and will torment them
both in an extraordinary manner. The hoſt , being filly
enough , was terrified at this diſcourſe ; but the hoſteſs,
yet more filly than her huſband, fancying that the ſpirit
was always at her heels, conſented to the match, and
Guillermo married Juanna the next day, and ſet up in
another part of the town . Serjeant Quebrantador did not
fail to viſit him often ; and he, in acknowledgment of
the ſervice he had done him , gave him as much wine as
he cared for. This ſo pleaſed the foldier, that he brought
thither not only all his friends, but liſted his inen there,
and made all his recruits drunk .
But at laft Guillermo, grown weary of ſatiating ſuch
a crew of drunkards, told the ſoldier his mind ; who,
without ever thinking that he had exceeded the agree
ment, was ſo unjuſt as to call Guillermo a little un .
gratelul raſcal. The hoſt anſwered ; the ferjeant re
plied ; and the dialogue ended with ſeveral ſtrokes with
the
 UPON TWO STICKS . 69
the flat ſide of the ſword , which Guillermo received.
Several perſons paſſing by took the vintner's part ; the
ferjeant wounded three or four; but was ſuddenly fallen
on by a croud of Alguazils, who ſeized him as a diſtur
ber of the public peace, and carried him to priſon . He
there deciared all that I have told you , and upon his
deposition the officers have alſo ſeized Guillermo : the
father- in - law requires the annulling of the marriage ;
and the holy office, being informed that Guillermo is
18]
rich , have thought fit to take cognizance of it.
As I hope to be ſaved, ſaid Don Cleofas, this fame
holy inquiſition is very alert. The moment they ſee
- ond
the leaſt glimpſe of profit--- Softly, interrupted -the
cripple; have a care what freedom you take with this
tribunal, for it has its ſpies every where, even of things
that were never ſpoken. I myſelf dare not ſpeak of it
without trembling .
Over the unfortunate Guillermo, in the firſt room on
the left, are two men that deſerve your pity. One of
them is a young valet de chambre, admitted by his
maſter's wife as a lover . One day the huſband caught
them in the fact; the woman immediately cried out for
help, and accuſed the valet de chambre of a rape. The
unfortunate fellow was ſeized, and will in all likelihood
be ſacrificed to his miſtreſs's reputation. The valet de
chambre's companion, ſtill lets guilty, is very near his
24
end. He is a Ducheſs's gentleman , who being robbed
of a large diamond , he is acculed of the theft. He will
to -morrow be put to the torture till he confeſs the fact,
which was in truth committed by an old waiting -wo
rouck
man , whom nobody dares ſuſpect.
24
Ah , Signior Almodeus, ſaid Leandro, let me intreat
you to help this young gentleman ; I am concerned for
garant
his innocence ; keep off, by your power, the cruel tor
tures that threaten him : his innocence deſerves---
You do not conſider what you aſk , Sir Student, inter
rupted the devil . Can you deſire me to oppoſe an un
jult action , and hinder the deſtruction of an innocent
man ? You had as good leg of an attorney not to ruin
a widow
15
 70 THE DEVIL
a widow or orphan . Pray, if you pleaſe, do not aſk
any thing of me contrary to my intereſt, unleſs it may
be of conſiderable advantage to youríelf. Beſides, if I
would deliver that hone :t man out of priſon, do you
think it is in my power ? How ! replied Zambullo, have
you not power to fetch a man out of priſon ? No really,
replied the cripple; if you had read Enchiridion , or Al.
bertus Magnus, you would know that I cannot, any
more than my brethren, fet a priſoner at liberty.
Should I myſelf have the misfortune to fall into the
clutches of a Juſtice , I could not extricate myſelf any
other way than by money.
In the next room is a furgeon, convicted of having
ſent his wife out of the world the ſame way that Seneca
went .
He was this day tortured, and , after confeſſing
the crime he was charged with, owned belides , that he
had for ten years made uſe of a new way to create prac
tice ; he wounded the paſſengers in the ſtreet with a
bayonet, and nimbly made hiseſcape, by running into
his own houſe at a back door. The wounded perſon,
in the mean while, having by his groans drawn the
neighbours to his aſſiſtance, the ſurgeon ran in alſo with
the crowd,and, finding a wounded man wallowing in
his blood , he cauſed him to be carried into his ſhop,
where he dreſſed him with the ſame hand which had
given him the wound . Though the barbarous ſurgeon
hath made this confeſion, and deſerves a thouſand deaths,
yet he flatters himſelf with a pardon , and poſſibly he
may get oné, for he is related to one of the prince's
dreſſers; and beſides, I muſt tell you, that he makes
a wonderful water, for which he only has the receipt.
This incomparable water has the power of whitening
the ſkin , and making an old wrinkled face as ſmooth
and ſoft as that of an infant ; ſo that three court-ladies,
who make uſe of it as their fountain of youth , have en .
tered into a confederacy to ſave him . And he reckons
ſo much upon their intereit, or rather, if you pleaſe,
upon his water, that he is gone quietly to ſleep, ex
pecting to receive the agreeable news of his liberty when
I
he awakes . n
 UPON TWO STICKS . 71
In the ſame chamber, ſaid the Itudent, I think I see
another man very faſt aſleep too u ; on an old bed . Sure his
buſineſs cannot be a very bad one. It is a very nice one,
anſwered the dæmon . He is a Biſcayan gentleman,
grown rich by the diſcharge of a gun ; and it was thus.
As he was ſhooting with his elder brother ,about a fort
night ago, who poſſeſſed a very conſiderable eſtate, he
unfortunately killed him by a ſhot aimed at ſome young
partridges. A lucky miſtake that for a younger bro
ther , cried Don Cleofas, ſmiling. True, ſaid Almo.
deus ; but thoſe that are next in Tucceffion, being greedy
of the deceaſed's eſtate, are proſecuting the young gen
tleman, whom they accuſe of committing this fačt in
order to be ſole heir of the family. But he has vo
luntarily ſurrendered himſelf, and ſeems ſo afflicted at
his brother's death, that it is impoſſible to imagine he
killed him deſignedly. And has he really nothing to
reproach himſelf with, but his aukwardneſs atſhooting ?
replied Leandro. No, anſwered the cripple; he had no
ill deſign ; but whenever an elder brother is maſter of all
the eſtate of a family, I would not adviſe him to go a
fhooting with his younger brother ,
Pray take particular notice of thoſe two youths in
the next room to the Biſcayan , who are entertaining
theinſelves as merrily as if they were at liberty . They
are two faunch villains ; one of them eſpecially, may
ſome time or other preſent the public with an account
of his rogueries ; for he may paſs for a ſecond Guf
man de Alfarache . I mean him in the brown velvet
waiſtcoat, with a plume of feathers in his hat , It is
hardly three months ago ſince he was one of the Count
40
d'Onaite's pages here at Madrid ; and would ſtill have
been with his maſter, but for a pieceof roguery that has
brought him hither, which I ſhall tell you.
6
This youth, whoſe name is Domingo, happened one
day to receive a good ſound whipping from the 'Iquire
or governor of the Count's pages , for fome unlucky
prank he had committed, that deſerved it ; which he
stomached
 THE DEVIL
ftomached a long while, and reſolved to revenge . He
had obſerved more than once that Signior Don Coſmo
( for that was the ' ſquire's name) waihed his hands in
orange- flower water, and afterwards rubbed them with
a palte made of pinks and jeſſamin ; that he took more
care of his perſon than an old coquette ; in fhort, that
he was one of thoſe fools who imagine that a woman
cannot look upon them without falling in love with
them . This obfervation gave him a hint for revenging
himſelf, which he communicated to a young girl that
was a chambermaid in the neighbourhood, whoſe affiit .
ance he wanted to put his deſigns in execution, and
with whom he had ſuch an intimacy, that he could not
poſſibly have a greater.
This wench , named Florella, in order to converſe
with him with the greater freedom , made him paſs for
her couſin at her miſtreſs Donna Luziana's , whoſe father
was then abfert. The malicious Domingo, having in
ſtructed his pretended coufin in what fhe was to do,
went one morning into Don Coſmo's chamber, whilft
he was trying on a new ſuit of cloaths; all which time
he was admiring himſelf in the glaſs, and appeared
charmed with the figure he ſaw there . The page pre
tending to admire this Narciſſus, and falling into a
feigned tranſport, really, Signior Dun Cormo, ſaid he,
you have the air of a prince . Though I every day fee
grandees dreſſed in the greateſt magnificence, yet, not
withſtanding all the richnefs of their dreſs, they want
your mien . I know not, whether being your humble
fervant ſo much as I am , I look on you with eyes
too much prejudiced in ycur favour; but in my
opinion there is not a gentleman at court can expect
to be taken notice of when you are there. The 'quire
ſmiled at this diſcourſe, which ſo agreeably flattered
his vanity, and putting on a foſt air, You flatter me,
friend, anſwered he, or you muit really love me, and
your friendſhip lends me thoſe graces which nature has.
denied me . I do not think ſo , replied the page, cajo
ling him all the while ; for there is nobody but what
ſpeaks
 UPON TWO STICKS .
73 .

ſpeaks ofyou as advantageouſly as myſelf. I wiſh you

had heard what a couſin of mine, who is maid to a wo.
man of quality , ſaid of you yeſterday.
Don Coſmo did not fail of aſking what that couſin of
his ſaid. Said ! replied the page ; The erlarged upon the
beauty of your ſhape, and the charms that are to be
ſeen all over your perſon ; and, what is Itill better, the
told me in confidence, that Luziana her miſtreſs took a
pleaſure in looking at you every time you paſſed by
their houſe. Who can that be, ſaid the 'ſquire, or
where does ſhe live ? What ! anſwered Domingo , do
not you know it is the only daughter of General Don
Ferdinand, ourneighbour? Ah ! now I have it, replied
Don Coſmo ; I remember I have heard the wealth and
beauty of this Luziana much talked of. She is a fine
fortune. Is it poſſible I can be ſo happy as to have
made her take notice of me ?Moſt certainly, ſaid the
page, my couſin told me fo: though a lady's woman ,
the is no liar, and I would anſwer for her as ſoon as for
myſelf. If it be ſo , ſaid the ' ſquire, I would have a
little private diſcourſe with thy couſin , and bring her
over to my intereſt, by a preſent or two, according to
cuſtom ; and if the adviſe me to make my court to her
miſtrels, I will try my fortune. And indeed why not ?
I agree there is fome diſtance between me and Don Fer.
dinand ; but ſtill I am a gentleman, and have five hun
dred good ducats a -year. Matches more extraordinary
than this happen every day .
The page backed his governor in his reſolution , and
procured bim a meeting with his couſin , who, finding
the 'Tquire ready to ſwallow any thing, aſſured him , that
her miſtreſs had an inclination for him . She has often
aſked me about you , ſaid the, and my anſwers have not
been to your diſadvantage. In ſhort, Sir, you may
reaſonably preſume, that Donna Luziana ſecretly loves
you : boldly declare your honourable deſigns; thew her
you are the gallanteſt cavalier in Madrid , as you are
one of the handſomeſt and beit made gentlemen ; but
above all things give her a ſerenade, which is what the
 THE DEVIL
74
is paſſionatelyfond of. As for me, I will take care to
extol your gallantry, and I hope my good offices will
not be in vain. Don Coſmo, tranſported with joy to
ſee the maid take his part with ſo much warmth, ftified
her with embraces, and putting a trifling ring upon
her finger, whichhe had purpoſely bought to prelent
her with, Dear Florella, ſaid he, I give you this dia .
mond only for the fake of your acquaintance ; I deſign
to acknowledge the ſervices you intend me, by ſome
thing more folid and conſiderable. It was impoſſible to
be more pleaſed than he was with this converſation
with the chambermaid . Wherefore, he not only thanked
Domingo for procuring it him , but rewarded himn with
a pair of filk itockings, and ſome laced ſhirts, promif
ing him he would let flip no opportunity of ſerving
him . And then conſulting himupon the meaſures he
ſhould take, My friend , ſaid he, doſt thou adviſe me
to break the ice by a ſublime, paſſionate letter to Donna
Luziana ? Indeed do I , anſwered the page : ſend her a
declaration of love in the lofty ftile; for fomething tells
me it will not be ill received . I fancy ſo too , replied
the ' fquire: however, at all events, that ſhall be my
beginning. Immediately he put pen to paper ; ſo hav
ing torn about twenty foul copies of billet-doux, which
he had made, at laſt he hit upon one he. reſolved Thould
go ; this he read over to Domingo, who, having heard
it with ſigns of admiration, undertook to carry it im
mediately to his couſin . Theſe were the frorid and far
fetched terms it was couched in .
IT is now long fince, charming Luziana, tbat, drawn by
fame, which every where publifbesyourmany perfe&tions,
I cannotbelp being inflamed withanardent lovefor you . How .
ever, notwithfianding the fires that conſume me, I have not
dared to venture upon anypiece of gallantry ; but as I am in .
formed that you vouchfafe to cajt an eye upon me when I paſs
by your window ; your window ,that deprives the eyes of manm .
kind of yourceleſtial beauty; and ibat, by the influence of your ,
Aars (an influence very fortunate to me) you are inclined to
will me well, I take the liberty of begging to be allowed to
confecrate myſelf to your ſervice. If I am ſo fortunate to obe
sain it, Ibid adieu to all ladies, paſ, preſent, and to como
Don Cosmo de la HIGUERA .
 UPON TWO STICKS . 75
The page and his ſham couſin did not fail making
themſelves very merry at Don Coſmo's expence, and
diverting themſelves with his letter. But that was not
all ; they drew up between them a kind letter, which
the chambermaid tranſcribed, and Domingo carried the
next day to the ' ſquire, as Donna Luziana's anſwer .
This was it .
I KNOWnot who it isthatcan fowell
have informed you ofmy
ſecret ſentiments; fomebodymuſt have betrayed me: but Ipar
donit, since ithas been the occaſion of letting me know that you
Luque me. Of all men that paſsthrough our ſtreet, you are the
perſon I take the moſt pleaſure in looking at; and I would fain
have you become my lover. Perhaps lought not to wiſh it, and
mucblefsſay it. But ifit be a crime, it is a crimeyour merit
muftfind an excuſefor. Donna LUZIANA .
Though this anſwer was a little too tender for a ge
neral's daughter, ( for the writers had not taken their
meaſures nicely as to that , ) the vain Don Cofmo did
not at all miſtruſt it upon that account. He thought well
enough of himfelf to imagine a lady might lay alide de
cency a little for his ſake. Ah ! Domingo, cried he,
with an air of triumph, after reading the pretended let
ter aloud, thou ſeeft, my friend,whether our neighbour
be not caught. I ſhall be Don Ferdinand's ſon - in -law,
as ſure as I am Don Cofmo dela Higuera. There is no
doubt of it, ſaid the raſcal of a confident ; you have
made a terrible impreffion upon his daughter. But it
is juſt come into my head, ſaid he ; I remember niy
couſin charged me to tell you , that , to-morrow , at
fartheſt, it was abſolutely neceſſary for you to give your
miſtreſs a ſerenade, in order to make her run quite mad
for you . With all my heart, ſaid the 'fquire; and
thou mayeſt aſſure thy couſin that I will follow thy ad
vice, and, to -morrow , about midnight, ſhe ſhall, with
out fail , hear one of the fineſt concerts in her ſtreet that
ever was heard at Madrid. And , indeed , he really
wentto an excellent muſic-maſter, and having let him
into his deſign, employed him in the execution of it.
Whilft he was buſied about his terenade, Florella,
G ? whom
 76 THE DEVIL
whom the page had inſtructed, ſeeing her miſtreſs in
gocd humour, ſaid to her , Madam , I am preparing
you a very agreeable diverſion ; upon which, Luziana
aſked her what it was . O'really, replied the maid ,
laughing like mad all the while, I have a budget full of
news for you . An original, whoſe name is Don Cor
mo, governor to the Count de Oniate's pages, has taken
it into his head to chufe you for the lovereign lady of
his affections; and, that you may not be ignorant of it,
is to morrow -night to regale you with a fine concert of
vocal and inſtrumental muſic .. Donna Luziana , who
was naturally gay, and thought the 'fquire's gallantries
would draw no ill conſequence after them , in regard to
herſelf, far from aſſuming a ſerious air, pleaſed herſelf
beforehand with the thought of hearing the concert; ſo
that, without knowing it, the helped to confirm Don
Coſmo in an error, which , had the known, ſhe would
have been angry at. In ſhort, the night of the follow
ing day, there appeared before Luziana's balcony two
coaches, out of which alighted the gallant 'Squire and
his confident, accompanied by fix men, ſome of which
fung, and others played, who began the concert. It
lalted a confiderable time, and they played a great num.
ber of new airs, and lung ſeveral ſongs, all which turn .
ed upon th powe
e r of love in the uniting hearts of un
equal condition ; and at the end of every long, which
the General's daughter applied to herſelf, ſhe laughed
ready to burſt.
When the ſerenade was over, Don Coſmo ſent back 11

the muſic in the ſame coaches they came in, and ſtaid in
the ſtreet with Domingo, till ſuch curious people as his
muſic had brought about them were gone. He then
drew near the balcony , from whence the maid , by her
iniſtreſs's permiſſion, ſaid to him through a little win
dow, Is it you , Signior Don Coſmo ? Who is it aſks
methatqueſtion ? anſwered he in a languiſhing tone. It
is Donna Luziana , replied the maid, who would be in.
formed whether this concert be the effect of your gal
kantry ? It is no more than a ſlight ſhadow of the en .
tertainments
 UPON TWO STICKS , 77
tertainments my love is preparing for this wonder ofour
age, if the will vouchſafe to receive them from a lover
conſuming upon the altar of her beauty .
At this metaphor the lady had a ſtrong inclination to
laugh: however, theſmothered it, and, placing herſelf
at a little window , Signior Don Coimo, ſaid the, as
gravely as ſhe poſſibly could , tothe 'ſquire, it is very
plain you are no novice in gallantry. Lovers, who
would oblige their miſtreſſes, muſt learn of you . I am
very well pleaſed with your ſerenade, and thank you
for it . But I would have you retire, added ſhe, for we
may be heard ; and another time we may have a longer
on
converſati . At theſe words the ſhut the window ,
leaving the '[ quire prodigiouſly pleaſed with the favour
ſhe had done him , and the page as much aſtoniſhed to
ſee her act a part in the comedy. This little entertain
ment, reckoning the charge of the coaches , and of the
vaſt quantity of wine drank by the performers, coſt
Don Coſmo an hundred ducats : yet two days after his
confident engaged him in a freſh expence , which was
thus. Having learned that Florella was , on the eve of
St. John , (an eve fo celebrated in this city, ) to go with
ſome other wenches of the ſame ſtamp, to the Fieſta del**
Sotillo, he undertook to give them a magnificent break
faſt at the 'Iquire's coft .
Signior Don Cofmo, ſaid he, do you know that to
morrow is the feſtival of St. John ? ' I tell you before
hand , that Donna Luziana propoſes to be by day -break
on the banks of the Manfanarez, to ſee the lotillo . I
ſuppoſe I need ſay no more to the flower of all gallant
cavaliers, nor are you a man that will flight ſo fair an
opportunity . I am perſuaded that your miſtreſs and her
company will be handſomely treated to-morrow. Yes ,
youmaydepend upon it, ſaid his governor, and you
Mall ſee I know how to lay hold on the occaſion. In
reality, very early the next morning, four of his maſter's
footmen, conducted by Domingo, and loaded with all
forts of cold meats, dreſſed different ways, and a val
G3 number
| A fort of dance peculiar to the Spaniards.
 78 THE DEVIL
number of ſmall loaves, and bottles of the beſt wine,
arrived on the banks of the Manfanarez, where Florella
and her companions were dancing like ſo many nymphs
at the riſing of the morning. They were not a little
pleaſed at the page's coming to interrupt their light
dances, by the offer of a ſolid breakfaſt from Signiør :
Don Coſmo. They ſatdown on the graſs, and began
to do homage to the feaſt, by laughing immoderately
at the tool who gave it ; for the charitable couſin of
Domingo had taken care to let them into the ſecret.
As they were all diſpoſed for mirth, they ſaw the
Squire appear richly dreſſed, and mounted on a pad out
of the Count's ftables. He came up to his confident,
and ſaluted his company, who got up to receive him
with the greateſt politeneſs, and thank him for his ge.
neroſity. He looked with all the eyes he had among
theſe wenches for Donna Luziana, deſigning to make
his addreſſes to her in a fine compliment which he had
ſtudied by the way ; but Florella , taking him aſide,
told him that an indiſpoſition had prevented her lady's
appearing at the entertainment. Don Coſmo ſhewed a
very great concern at this news, and aſked what his
dear Luziana's illneſs was . She has got a ſad cold ,
ſaid the maid, by paſſing all the night you gave the ſe
renade, in the balcony, without her veil, and talking of
you. The 'ſquire, comforted by an accident proceeding
from ſo charming a cauſe , begged her to continue him
her good offices with her miſtreis, and returned home,
applauding himſelf more and more in his good fortune.
About this time Don Coſmo had a bill of exchange
ſent him , and received a thouſand crowns in gold , fent
him from Andaluſia, as his ſhare of an eſtate of an un
cle of his at Seville . He told over the ſum , and put it
into a cheſt before Domingo, who eyed it withfully, and
being tempted to get thoſe pretty things into his pof
ſeſſion, he reſolved to run away with them to Portugal .
He informed Florella of it , and went fo far as to pro
poſe to her to go along with him . Though the propo
Jal deſerved mature conſideration, the wench , as wicked
as
 UPON TWO STICKS 79
as the page, accepted it without boggling. In fort,
one night, whilft the 'fquire was ſhut up in his cloſet,
and buſied in inditing a paffionate letter to his miſtreſs,
Domingo found means to open the cheſt where the mo
ney lay , and carried it off . Immediately he made the beſt
ofhis way into the ſtreet with his booty, and being got
under Luziana's balcony, fell a caterwauling. The
chambermaid , at this ſignal, which they had agreed up
on , did notmake him wait long, but being ready to fol
low him allover the world, departed out of Madrid with
him . They built upon having time enough to reach
Portugal before they ſhould be overtaken ; but un
luckily for them, Don Coſmo, that very night perceiv
ing he was robbed , and his confident run away, had
immediate recourſe to a juſtice, who diſpatched his
blood -hounds all about in purſuit of the thief, and took
him and his nymph near Zebreros ; who were both
brought back, and the maid ſent to las arrepentidas, and
Domingo hither.
Doubtleſs then, ſaid the ſtudent, the 'ſquire will not
loſe his money, but it will be returned him . Not ſo,
neither, anſwered the devil : thoſe pieces are proofs of
the robbery, and the officers ofjuſtice willnot part with
them : and Don Cofmo, whoſe ſtory is ſpread all over
the city, remains plundered , and laughed at by every
body.
Domingo, and that other priſoner at play with him ,
continued the cripple, have a young Cattilian for their
neiglibour, who has been brought in here for having
given his father a blow in the preſence of credible
witneſſes. O heaven ! cried Leandro, what do you
tell me ! However wickeů a ſon be, yet ſtill can he lift
up his hand againſt his father ? O yes, ſaid the dæ
mon , this is not without an inſtance ; and I will give
you a very remarkable one . In the reign of Peter the
Firſt, ſurnamed the Juſt and the Cruel , eighth King of
Portugal, a young fellow, of about twenty, was put
into the hands of juſtice for the fame fact .' Dun Pe.
dio, like you, ſurprized at the novelty of the cafe, re
folved
 So THE DEVIL
ſolved to examine the criminal's mother, and did itwith
ſo much art, as to make her own ſhe had that child by
a right reverend prelate. In the ſame manner, were the
judges of this Caſtilian to examine his mother as art
fully, they might probably force the ſame confeſſion
from her.
Carry your eye to that large dungeon under the three
priſoners I have juſt thewed you, and let us conſider
what is paſſing there. Thoſe are highwaymen . See,
they are breaking out, by the help of a ſmooth file,
brought them in a loaf; and have already filed through
a large bar of a window, through which they may lip
into a courtthat goes into the ſtreet. They have been
here more than ten months, and ſhould have received
the public reward due to ſuch exploits above eight months
ago: but, thanks to the tedious proceedings of the
law, they are going again to their old vocation of mur.
dering travellers.
Follow me into that low hall, where you will ſee
twenty or thirty priſoners lying upon ftraw ; they are
pick-pockets, Top -lifters, and all the very worſt of fe
lons. Do you obſerve five or fix of them worrying a
kind of handicraft tradeſman, brought in to.day for
wounding an Alguazil wi:h a ſtone ? But why do they
beat the poor fellow ? ſaid Zambullo. It is, anſwered
Alinodeus, becauſe he has not paid his garniſh . But ,
added he, let us leave thoſe rogues , and get as far as we
can from this wretched place, that we may employ our .
time upon objects that aremore agreeable.
CHAP . VIII.
Aſinodeus Mews Don Cleofas ſeveral perſons, and dif
covers to him what they have been doing that day.
LEAVING the lighted
quarter, and priſoners,theyflew towardsanother
upon agreat houte, where the
dæmon ſaid thus to the ſtudent : I have a great mind to
tell you what all the people living round this great houſe
have this day been doing, and poſſibly it may divert you.
I make no doubt of it, anſwered Leandro , and I wish
you would begin with that captain who is drawing on
his
 UPON TWO STICKS . 81
his boots. He is going out of Madrid, ſaid Aſmodeus ;
his horſes wait for him atthe gate, and he is commanded
to Portugal, in order to join his regiment. Having no
money to make the campaign , he yeſterday applied him
ſelf to an uſurer: Signior Sanguiſuela , ſaid he, cannot
you lend me a thouſand pieces of eight ? Captain, an
ſwered the uſurer, in very obliging terms, I have not ſo
much by me , but I will do my beſt to find you a man
that ſhall lend you theſum ; that is, tall give youfour
hundred down, provided you give your note for a thou
ſand ; and out of that four hundred , pleaſe to take noe
tice, that I expect ſixty for procuration. Money is ſo
very ſcarce at this time- What a helliſh extortion is
this, interrupted the officer haſtily, to aſk fix hundred
and fixty patacoons for the uſe of three hundred and
forty! What a horrid cheat is this ! Such unconſcionable
raſcals deſerve hanging .
Do not be in a paſſion, Captain , replied the uſurer,
with great coolneſs, try at another place . What do
you complain of ? Do I force you to take the three
hundred and forty patacouns ? . You are at your liberty
to take them or let them alone. The captain went
away without returning any anſwer : but, after con
fidering that he muſt go to his regiment, that his time
was ſhort, and that he could do nothing without money,
he returns the next morning tothe uſurer, whom he met
at his door in a black cloak , collar- band , and ſhort hair,
with beads in his hand . Signior Sanguiſuela, ſays he,
I am content to accept your three hundred and forty pa
tacoons ; my extreme want of money has forced me
to it . I am going to maſs, anſwered the uſurer, very
gravely ; and at my return come again, and you ſhall
have that ſum . No, no, replied the captain, go in
again , this affair will not take you up two minutes :
pray diſpatch me immediately , for I am in the utmoſt
haite. I cannot , really, replied the uſurer. I every
day. hear mars before I do any manner of buſineſs ; it is
my conſtant rule, which I am reſolved to obſerve moſt
religiouſly for the remainder of my life. However im
patient
 82 THE DEVIL

pacient the captain was to receive his money, he was

forced to ſubmit to pious Sanguiſuela's ſtrict rules ;
and, as if he had been afraid he ſhould miſs the pata
coons, he followed the uſurer to the church , and ſtaid
the maſs out with him ; after which he prepared to go
out of the church, when Sanguiſuela whiſpered in his
car, that one of the ableft preachers in Madrid was go
ing to mount the pulpit ; and I will not, on any ac
count, ſaid he, loſe the ſermon .
The officer, who thought the maſs inſupportably te
dious , was almoſt diſtracted at this freſh delay ; but yet
waited the fermon out . The preacher appeared , and
preached againſt uſury, at which the captain was infi
nitely pleaſed ; and oblerving Sanguiſuela's looks, he
ſaid to himſelf, If this Jew ſhould be touched with this
diſcourſe ! Should he now give me fix hundred pata.
coons, how happy it would be! After the ſermon , the
uſurer went out of the church . Well, Signior Sangui
fuela, ſaid the captain, joining him , whatdo you think
of this preacher ?' Was not the ſermon very pathetic ?
For my part, I own it ſenſibly moved me. I am
entirely of your opinion , anſwered the extortioner : he
kas handled his ſubject perfectly well; he is a learn
el man, and has perfectly well diſcharged the duty of
his calling ; let us go do the ſame in ours .
Pray who are thoſe two ladies a - bed together, who
laugh ſo loud ? cried Don Cleofas ; they ſeem to me to
be very merry. They are, anſwered the devil, a coule
ple of young ladies that have this day buried their fa
ther, who was a whimſical humoriſt, that had luch an
averſion for matrimony, or rather such a reluctance to
give portions to his daughters, that he would never
marry them, how advantageous matches ſoever were
offered . The character of their deceaſed father was
the perpetual ſubject of their diſcourſe . He is dead at
laſt , ſaid the eldeſt, our unnatural father , who took a
barbarous pleaſure in preventing our marriage ! He will
now no more croſs our deſires . For my part, ſaid the
youngeſt, I am for a rich huſband , though a fool, and
the
 UPON TWO STICKS . 83
the fat Don Blanco ſhall be my man . Hold , filter, re
plied the eldeſt, do not let us be ſo very hafty in the
choice of huſbands ; let us marry thoſe the powers a
bove have deſtined for us ; for our marriages are regir
tered in heaven's book . So much the worſe, dear life
ter , returned the youngeſt, for I am afraid my father
will tear out the leaf. At this the eldeſt could not hold
from an extravagant fit of laughter ; in which the younge
eſt, equally tickled , as heartily joins .
In the houſe next to theſe two ſiſters, lives, in a ready
furnihed chamber, a young Arragonian lady, who is
upon the catch for ſome rich bubble. I ſee the is look
ing in the glaſs, initead of going to bed, and compli
menting her charms on the important conqueſt they
have made this day . She is likewiſe contriving new
airs, and has already hit on two which will to -morrow
give a good ſtroke towards the gaining of a new lover',
who is ſuch a very promiſing ſpark , that ſhe cannot be
too ſedulous in the conqueſt of him ; and one of her
creditors coming not long ſince to dun her, Honeſt friend ,
ſaid ſhe, come within a few days, and you ſhall be paid ;
I am just upon terms of agreement with one of the chief
officers of the treaſury.
I need not , ſaid Don Cleofas, aſk you what that gen
tleman , whom I ſee, has been doing forthiswhole day ;
he muſt of neceſſity have ſpent it in writing of letters.
What a prodigious quantity do I ſee on his table!
What is inoſt comical, anſwered the devil, is, that all
theſe letters are verbatim the ſame. This cavalier has
written to all his abſent friends the relation of an ada
venture which happened to him this day after dinner,
and is as follows. He loves a beautiful , diſcreet widow
of thirty ; he makes his addreſſes to her ; the dues not
Night him ;he propoſes to marry her, and ſhe accepts
the offer . While the nuptial preparations are making,
he has free leave to viſit her at her own houſe, which
be accordingly doth daily . He has been there to day ;
and happening to meet with none of the family to aſk
shere ſhe was, he entered the lady's apartment, where
3 he
 84 THE DEVIL

he ſurpriſed her aſleep on a couch in an amorous un.

dreſs ; or, to ſpeak more properly, almoſt naked . He
approached her ſoftly , and tole a kiſs ; at which the
awaked , and fighing ſaid, Ah, pray, Ambroſio, let me
Neep ! The cavalier, like awell- bred man, very civilly
took his leave at that inſtant, and quitted her apart
ment . He met Ambroſio at the door . Ambrofio,
ſaid he, your miſtreſs begs that you would not wake
her.
Two doors beyond this cavalier, I diſcover a ſmall
houſe, where lives an original of an huſband, who
ſnores whilehis wife is reproaching him for having ſtaid
out the whole day ; and ſhe would be much more exaf
perated, if ſhe knew how he had been employing him
ſelf. In ſome intrigue, I warrant you, faid Zam
builo. You are right, replied Aſmodeus, and I will
tell you it .
This man is a citizen , whoſe name is Patricio, one of
thoſe looſe huſbands that live without thinking, as if
they had neither wives nor children . Yet he has a
beautiful,modeft wife, two daughters, and a ſon, all very
young. He went out this morning without aſking whe
ther there was bread for the family, who fometimes
want it. He paſſed by the great ſquare, drawn thither
by the preparations for the bull fealts which are to be
to-day . There were ſcaffolds already built all round,
and ſuch as were the moſt eager to ſatisfy their curio .
ſity had already began to take their places. Whilſt he
was gazing at them , he happened to cart an eye upon
a lady very well made, and neatly dreſſed, who, in com
ing down from one of the ſcaffolds, ſhewed a fine well
turned leg, with a pink -coloured ſilk ſtocking and fila
ver garter. There needed no more to ſet our weak ci
tizen all in a flame, who advancing up to the lady , who
had another with her that plainly enough diſcovered by
her air that they were both upon the catch ; Ladies,
ſaid he to them , if I can be ſerviceable to you any way ,
pray command me, for I am very inuch at your ſera
vice. Sir, anſwered the nympha with the pink.coloured
stockings ,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 85
lockings, your offer is too obliging to be rejected : we
had already taken our places, but have juſt left them to
go to breakfaſt, for wehave been ſo filly as to come out
this morning without drinking our chocolate ; and fince
you are ſo gallant as to offer us your ſervice, go along
with us, if you pleaſe, to ſome place where we may
eat a mouthful. But let it be ſomewhere that we
may not be ſeen ; for you know young maidens cannot
be too careful of theirreputation.
At theſe words, Patricio, growing ſtill more polite
and well - bred than there was any occaſion for , carries
his princeſſes to a tavern the ſuburbs, where he calls
for a breakfaſt. Sir, ſays the man of the houſe, what
would
you pleaſe to have ? I have the remains of agreat
entertainment, made at my houſe yeſterday, ftill by
me ; crammed chickens, partridges of Leon, pigeons
of Old Caftile, and more than half a ham of Eſtrema
dura . That is more than we ſhall want , ſaid the gen
tleman ulher of theſe veſtals. Ladies, you need only
chuſe ; which are you for ? Whatever you pleaſe, an
ſwered they ; your taſte ſhall be ours . Whereupon our
citizen ordered a brace of young partridges, and two
cold chickens, and a private room , ſeeing he was with
ladies who ſtood ſo much upon their modeſty. They
fhewed him and his company into a little bye cloſet,
whither in a moment was brought what he had beſpoke ,
with bread and wine. Our Lucretias, like ladies very
Tharp - ſet, fell greedily upon the meat, while the cully
who was to pay the reckoning amuſed himſelf with
contemplating the beauty of hisLuiſita, for ſo was this
lady of his affections called . He admires the whiteneſs
of her hands, on which ſparkled a large ring which me
had gained by her practice ; he calls her a ſtar, a fun,
and a thouſand ſuch fine names , and is not able to eat
for thinking on his good luck in meeting with her. He
aſked his goddeſs of the were married ; to which the an.
1wered No ; but was under a brother's care : if the had
added on Adam's fide, ſhe had ſpoke the truth .
In the mean while the two harpies not only devoured.
H each
 86 THE DEVIL

each her chicken , but drank proportionably too. The

wine was ſoon out, and our ſpark himſelf ran to fetch
more, that they might have it the ſooner ; but he was
hardly out of the room , when Jacintha, Luiſita's com
panion, laysher claws upon thepartridges that remaine
ed in the diſh, and crams them into a linen pocket the
had under her petticoat . Preſently our Adonis returned
with more wine ; and , obferving the victuals were gone,
aſked his Venus whether ſhe would not eat fomething
elſe. Let us have, ſaid the, ſome of thoſe pigeons our
landlord was mentioning, provided they areexceeding
fine ; if not , a piece of the ham will do She had ſcarce
fpoke,when Patricio went back to the larder, and ordered
three pigeons and a large ſlice of the ham . Our birds
of prey began to peck again ; and whilſt their ſpark was
obligedi a third time to diſappear for bread, they ſent a
brace of the pigeons to keep company with the priſoners
in their pocket.
After the repaſt, which concluded with fruits proper
to the ſeaſon , the amorous Patricio preſſed Luiſita to
make him thoſe returns he expected from her gratitude ;
which the lady refuſed to comply with ; but gave him
ſome hopes, at the ſame time telling him there was a ſea
fon for every thing, and that the thought a tavern a very
unfit place to teſtify her acknowledgments in for the obli
gation ſhe had to him . Uponwhich,hearing it ſtrike one,
Ne put on an air of uneaſineſs, ſaying to her companion ,
Dear Jacintha, we are very unfortunate, we hall meet
with never a place to ſee the bull- fight. Pardon me, an
ſwered Jacintha , this gentleman has no more to do than
carry us back where he firſt accoſted us with ſo much
politeneſs, and do not be uneaſy about the reſt. Before
they went out of the tavern, there was a neceſſity for
paying the vintner, who mounted the bill to fifty reals .
The citizen put his hand into his pocket, where finding
but thirty reals, he was forced to pawn his heads, garo
niſhed with ſilver medals, for the rest. He then waited
on his adventurers to the place where he met with them ,
and placed them in a very convenient feat on one of the
ſcaffolds,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 87
ſcaffolds, for which the proprietor, a friend of his, gave
him credit .
They were hardly ſeated , ere they aſked for ſomething
to drink. I am fainting with thirſt, cried one; the ham
has made me fo terribly dry ; and I too, cried the other ,
could drink a glaſs of lemonade with pleaſure. Imme
diately Patricio,who underſtood but too well what all this
meant, left them in order to go for refreſhments ; but,
ftopping short, ſays he to himſelf, Where art thou go.
ing, madman ? Methinks thou thouldſt have a hundred
piſtoles either in thy pocket, or at home, and yet thou
haſt not a croſs . What ſhall I do ? continued he .
Shall I return to the lady without what the deſires ? No ,
that will never do . On the other hand , ſhall I ſtop
Thort in an affair that is ſo far advanced ? I can never
think of that.
In this perplexity, he perceives one of his friends in
the crowd, who had often made him offers of friendſhip,
which out of pride he had always refuſed : immediately
laying aſide all ſhame, he makes up to him in all
hafte , and borrows a double piſtole of him ; and ,
taking heart at this fortunate accident, Alies to a cho
colate houſe, and there buys ſo many liquors cooled in
ice , ſo many biſcuits and dried ſweatmeats, that the
doubloon would ſcarce ſerve for that expence . In ſhort,the
fealt concluded with the day, and our gallant waits on his
ladies home, hoping thereby to gain his ends. But when
they were before a houſe ,where ſhe ſaid he lived , a fort
of a maid came out to Luilita, and ſpeaking with ſome
concern , Lord, ſaid Me, where have you been ſo late !
Your brother Signior Don Jaſper Heridor has been at
home theſe two hours, ſtorming and ſwearing like a
madman : upon which the fifter , pretending to be in a
fright, turned to our ſpark , and, fqueezing his hand,
laid in a low voice, My brother is terribly paſſionate,
but it is ſoon over ; ſtay a little in the ſtreet, and do
not be impatient, fo we will go in and quiet him ; but
as he every night fups in the city , the moment he goes
out, Jacintha Thall come and inform you of it, and let
youu in. H 2 The
 88 THE DEVIL
The gallant, comforted by this promiſe, kiſſed Luiſ .
ta's hand with tranſport, who beſtowed on him a few
careſſes to keep him in hopes ; and then went in with
Jacintha and the maid . Patricio very contentedly fat
himſelf down on a ſtone that was near the door, and
waited a good while, without thinking they could poffi
bly have any deſign to trick him . Nothing ſurprized
him , but that he did not ſee Don Jaſper comeout,which
made him fear that this curſed brother would not ſup
in the city.
In the mean time, he hears it ſtrike ten, eleven ,
twelve. Then he began to abate of his confidence, and
to ſuſpect his lady's ſincerity. He goes up to the door,
goes in, and gropes his way through a dark alley , in
the midſt of which he finds a pair of ſtairs. However,
he dares not venture to go up, but liſtens attentively,
and his ear is ſaluted with a diſagreeable concert of a dog
barking, a catmewing, and a child crying. At laſt he
begins to find he is impoſed upon ; and what fully con
vinces him , is, that in endeavouring to get at the end of
the alley, he finds himſelf in a different ſtreet to that
where he had ſo long waited . Then he regretted the
loſs of his money, and returns home curſing the pink
coloured ſtockings. He knocks, and his wife opens the
door with her beads in her hand, and tears in her eyes,
ſaying with a moving air, Ah ! Patricio, can you thus
abandon your houſe, and take ſo little care of your wife
and children ? What have you been doing ever ſince fix
o'clock this morning, that you went out ? The huſband,
not knowing what anſwer to make, and alhamed beſides
ofbeing fooled by a couple of jilting baggages, undreſ.
ſed, and went to bed without ſpeaking one word . The
wife, in a humour for moralizing, is now giving him a
lecture that this moment has laidhim to ſleep.
Cart your eye, purſued Aſmodeus, on that great houſe
beyond that of the gentleman who is writing hisfriends
an account of breaking off his marriage with his mif.
treſs. Do you ſee that young lady in the roſe coloured
latin bed, embroidered with gold : Yes, anſwered Don
Cleofas ,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 89
Cleofas, I diſcern a fine woman in a profound ſleep,
and I think alſo a book on her bolſter, You are right,
replied Aſmodeus; that lady is a very gay, witty, young
Counteſs , who being indiſpoſed, and not able to fleep
for a week , me this day reſolved to ſend for one of the
graveft phyſicians of this city . He came, the conſulted
him , and he ordered her a remedy mentioned in Hippo .
crates . The lady began to rally his preſcription ; but
the phyſician, being a peevith animal,was diſguſted at
her jeſt, and replied with his doctorial gravity, Hip
pocrates, Madam, it not a proper man to be ridiculed .
God forbid , Doctor, anſwered the Counteſs, with the
mott ſerious air that it was poſſible for her to put on ;
God forbid that I ſhould laugh at ſuch a famous and
learned author ! I have ſuch a high value for him , that
I am fully perſuaded the reading of ſome of his tracts
only would cure my waking diſtemper. I have his
works tranſlated by the learned Azero, which is the beſt
tranſlation extant . She accordingly tried the experi
ment , and at the third page fell aſleep.
In the Countels's ſtables there is a poor one armed
ſoldier', whom the grooms, out of charity , allow to lie
every night on the Itraw. He begs in the day- time, and
has juſt now had a pleaſant converſation with another
beggar, that lives near Buen - retiro, in a paſſage leading
to the court .This laſt has made a good hand of it , is
a warm old fellow , and has a daughter marriagable ,
who paſſes amongſt theſe people for a rich heireſs . The
foldier accoſting the old gentleman, ſaid to him , Signior
Mendigo, you ſee I bave loſt iny right arm , I can no lon
ger ſerve his Majeſty, and am reduced , as you are, to the
civility of paſſengers for a ſubſiſtence. But of all trades
I know very well this is one that beſt ſubifts thoſe that
follow it, and that all it wants is to be a little more ho
nourable . If it were honourable, anſwered the other , it
would be worth nothing,for every body would take it up .
You tay right, replied the foldier ; well then , I am one of
your brethren ,and would fain be related to you. You ihall
give me your daughter. You do not conſider, anſwered the
H 3 ole
 THE DEVIL
90
old rich fellow , that ſhe muſt have a better match , You
are not half lame enough to be my ſon -in -law . I would
have a man in a condition to draw compaſſion from an
ulurer. Good God ! ſaid the ſoldier, is not my condi
tion deplorable enough ? Fie, anſwered the other haftily ,
you have only loſt an arm, and yet you pretend to my
daughter. Do you know , Sir, that I have already re
fuſed her to a fellow ſo lame, that he goes with his
breech in a bowl ?
But we muſt not paſs by the houſe next to the Count
eſs's, where lives a drunken painter and a poet. The
painter went out at ſeven this morning, with intent to
fetch a confeſſor to his wife, who is at the point of death ;
but meeting with a friend, that dragged him to the ta.
vern , he never returned till ten at night. The poet,
who , if he be not belied , has ſometimes met with the
melancholy reward for his fatires, ſaid juſt now in a
coffee-houle with a ſwaggering air, ſpeaking of a man
who was abſent, That is a raſcal to whom I muſt give
a good drubbing ; to whom an arch fellow replied ,
That you may very eaſly, for you have a good ſtock
by you .
I muſt not forget a ſcene worth your hearing, that
hath this day paſſed at a banker's in this ſtreet, who is
lately ſet up in this city . It is not two months fince
he returned from Peru laden with riches . His father is
an honeſt cobler, in a ſmall village about twelve leagues
from hence, where he lived thoroughly contented with
his condition, and his wife, who is much about the
fame age with himſelf, that is ſixty . It is a long time
fince this banker left his parents, to go to the Indies,
in queſt of a better fortune than what they could pro
pole to leave him ; for within the compaſs of twenty
rolling years they had not ſeen him . They frequently
talked of him, and continually prayed that heavenwould
be pleaſed not to forſake him ; and the parſon being
their friend, they never failed to obtain the public pray
els of the congregation for him. As for the banker,
he had not forgotten them ; but as ſoon as he was iet
tled,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 91
tled , reſolved to inform himſelf of their condition .
To this purpoſe, after having ordered his domeftics not
to expect him , he mounted on horſeback , and went
alone to the village .
It is was ten at night before he got thither, and the
honeſt cobler was a-bed with his wife, in a ſound fleep,
when he knocked at the door : they then awaked, and
aſked who was there ? Open the door, ſays the banker,
it is yourſon Francillo . Make others believe that if
you can, cried theold man ; you thieving rogues, go
about your buſineſs, for here is nothing for you ; Fran
cillo, if not dead , is now in the Indies. He is no
longer there, he is returned home from Peru , replied
the banker , and it is he that now ſpeaks to you ; open
your door, and receive him . Jacobo, let us riſe then ,
taid the woman, for I really believe it is Francillo ; I
think I know his voice. They both role immediately ;
the father lighted a candle, and the mother, after get
ting her cloaths on with the utmoſt hatte, opened the
door . She earneſtly looked on Francillo, and could no
longer doubt bis being her ſon ; the flung her arms
about his neck , and claſped him cloſe to her. Jacobo,
alſo touched with the ſame ſentiments as his wite, did
not fail to embrace his fon in return ; and all three
of them , tranſported with the light of one another after
ſuch a long abſence, could not ſatisfy themſelves with
expreſſing themarks of the utmoſt tenderrels .
After the pleaſing tranſports, the banker unſaddled
and unbridled his horſe, and put him into the itable,
where he found an old milch cow, the nurſe to the whole
$amily ; he then gave the old folks an account ofhis voy
age, and all the riches that he had brought from Peru.
The particulars were long, and would fire any diſinte
reſted auditors ; but a fon that unbofomed himſelf in
the relation of his adventures , could not tire the atten
tion of a father and mother. They greedily heard him,
and the very leaſt particular which he related made on
them a ſenſible impreſſion of grief or joy. As ſoon as
he had ended the ſtory of his fortunes, he told them he
came
 92 THE DEVIL
came to offer them part of his wealth, and begged of
his father not to work any longer. No, my ſon, ſaid
Mr. Jacobo , I love my trade, and will not quit it .
Why, replied the banker, is it not now high time for
you to give it over, and take your eaſe ? I do not pro
poſe your coming to live with me at Madrid ; I know very
well that a city-life would not pleaſe you , I would not
diſturb your quiet way of living ; but at leaſt give
over your hard -labour, and pais your days as eaſily
as you can . The mother ſeconded her ſon , and Mr.
Jacobo yielded . Very well, Francillo, ſaid he, to
pleaſe you, I will not work any more for the public ;
but will only mend my own thoes, and thoſe of niy good
friend , the vicar of the pariſh . After this agreement,
the banker, fatigued with his day's journey , eat a
couple of poached eggs , and lay down to ſleep by his
father, with a pleaſure which only the most dutiful and
beſt-natured children to their parents can imagine.
The next morning, the banker, leaving them a purſe
of three hundred ducats, returned to Madrid ; but yeſ
terday was very much ſurpriſed to ſee Mr. Jacobo un
expectedly at his houſe. My father, ſaid he, what
brought you hither ? Francillo, anſwered the honelt
man , I have brought your purſe, take your money
again ; Ideſire to live by my trade ; I have been ready
to die with uneaſineſs ever ſince I left off working.
Well, then, my father, replied the banker, return to
your village, work at your trade enough to divert your
ſelf, but no more ; carry back your purſe with you ,
and do not ſpare mine. Alas, what would you have
me to do with ſo much money ? replied Mr. Jacobo .
Comfort the poor with it, returned Francillo ; beltow it
as your vicar ſhall adviſe you. The cobler, ſatisfied
with this anſwer, returned that morning to his village.
Don Cleofas could not hear Francillo's ſtory without
a particular pleaſure, and was going to break out into
praiſes of the honeſt hearted banker, if juſt at thatmo
ment a very frill cry had not called off his attention .
Signior Aliuodeus, cried he, What is that I hear ? what
confuſed
 UPON TWO STICKS , 93
confuſed noiſe Atrikes the air ? Thole are madmen , an
Iwered the devil, who are tearing their throats with
finging and roaring ; we are not far from the place
where they are ſhut up . Ay, ſaid Don Cleofas, pray
do me the favour to Mew me them , and give me an ac
count wherefore they ran mad. I will immediately
give you that diverſion , antwered the devil . Theie
words were ſcarce ended , before the ſtudent was trani
ported to the top of the * Caſa de los locos,
C Η ΑΡ. ΙΧ ..
Of the confined mad People.
ZAMBULLO
and having obſerved the mad inenintoall
çaitanattentiveeye and t herooms,
women that
were in them , ſaid the devil to him , You tee here are
mad folks of both ſexes, merry and melancholy , young
and old ; but I muſt now tell you what has turned
their brains. We will take them in order one after
another, and begin with the men .
He that is raving in the firſt room is a newſmonger of
Caltile , born in the heart of Madrid , a haughty citi.
zen , and more touched with the honour of his coun
try than an old Roman citizen. This man is melan
choly mad , by reading in the Gazette that twenty
Spaniards fuffered themſelves to be beaten by a party
of fifty Portugueſe.
His neighbour is a licenciado, who has played the
hypocrite at court for theſe ten years only to obtain a
benefice ; and ſeeing himſelf continually forgotten in
the promotions, despair has at lalt tuined his head .
But a very lucky circumſtance for himı is , that he fan
cies himſelf archbiſhop of Toledo, and if he really be
not ſo, he has the pleaſure of believing he is ; and I
think him ftill the more happy, as I look upon his
madneſs as a golden dream in which he will continue
all his life ; and as he will have no account to give in
the next world how he has employed the revenues of
his bilhopric in this.
The
* The mad - houſe, or bedlam .
 94 THE DEVIL
The next is an orphan, whom his guardian made to
paſs for diſtracted , that he might ſeize his eſtate; and
the poor youth is really become ſo at laſt, out of pure
grief to ſee himſelf ſhut up here. Next to him is a
Ichoolmaſter, who loſt his wits in ſearch of the paulo
post futurum of a Greek verb : and the other a mer.
chant, whoſe reaſon could not ſupport the news of a
Thipwreck , after having had the courage to bear up
againſt the misfortune of two bankruptcies.
He whom you fee beyond him is old captain Zanu .
bio, a Neapolitan gentleman , who came to ſettle at
Madrid, and ran mad with jealouſy. His ſtory runs
thus :
Hehad a young wife, whoſe name was Aurora ; he
kept her out of ſight ; his houſe was inacceſſible to all
men . Aurora never went out but to maſs, and then
was always accompanied by her old Tithon, who fome
times carried her to an eſtate which he had near Alcan .
tara . Notwithſtanding all his vigilant care, a certain
gentleman, whoſe name was Don Garcia Sacheco, bav
ing ſeen her at church, had conceived a violent paſſion
for her. He was a bold young ſpark , and worth the
regard of a handſome woman ill married .
The difficulty of introducing himſelf to Zanubio did
not remove his hopes ; but his beard being not yet
grown, and being a very beautiful youth , he dreſſed
himſelf in girl's cloaths, took a purſe of a hundred pif
toles, and went to Zanubio's eſtate, whither he had
been informed by good hands that the captain and his
wife would very ſoon come . He addreſſed himſelf to
the gardener's wife, and, in a romantic heroic ſtrain ,
ſaid to her, I come to throw myſelf into your arms,
take pity upon me . I am of Toledo, born of a good
family, and to a good fortune; my parents reſolve to
marry me to a man I hate, and I havethis night eſcaped
their tyranny, and at preſent want a ſhelter from their
rage. They will never come to look for me here ; per
mit me to ſtay here till my relations come to more
tender ſentiments for me. Here is my purſe, adds he,
giving
 UPON TWO STICKS . 95
giving it to her, take it ; it is all I can at preſent offer
you . But I hope I Aall one day be able to acknow.
ledge 'any ſervice you fall do me. The gardener's
-
wite, touched with this diſcourſe,more eſpecially with
the conclufion, Mydaughter, ſaid ſhe, I will ſerve
you ; I know ſeveral young women who are lacrificed
to old men, and withal know that they are not very
well contented with them ; alas , I feel part of their
griefs. You could not have addreſſed yourſelf to a
more proper perſon than myſelf ; I will place you in a
little private chamber, where you fall be ſecure .
Ww
Don Garcia paſſed ſeveral days here very impatient
ly , expecting the arrival of Aurora, who at laſt came,
accompanied by her huſband ; who, according to his
3
cuſtom , ſearched all the apartments, cloſets, cellars and
garrets, to ſee if he could not diſcover any man hidden
there. The gardener's wife, knowing him thorough
* ly , prevented his ſearching Don Garcia's chamber, by
telling in what manner the pretended lady had deſired a
refuge chere.
Zanubio, though extremely diftruftful, had not the
$ leaſt fufpicion of the deceit . He was willing to ſee the
unknown lady , who deſired to be excuſed from the dir
covery of her name, pretending the owed that con
cealment to her family, whom ſhe diſgraced by this
ſort of flight. She then told her romantic tale ſo ad
vantageoully, that the captain was charmed with it,
and began to find a growing inclination for thefair un
known . He offered her his ſervices, and flattering
3
himſelf that this might prove a lucky adventure, placed
14 her with his wife . As ſoon as Aurora faw Don Garcia ,
局 the blushed , and grew diſturbed, without knowing why :
he percieved it, and believed ſhe had obſerved him in
the church where he had ſeen her. Wherefore, to la
tisfy himſelf, as foon as he could speak to her alone, he
ſaid , Madain , I have a brother who has often mentionid
19 you tome: he ſaw you for a moment in a church ; ever
lince that time he has called upon your name a thouſand
times
s.
 96 THE DEVIL
times a day, and is in a condition which indeed de .
ſerves your pity ;
At theſe words Aurora looked on Don Garcia more
intently than ſhe had yet done, and anſwered , You too
much reſemble that brother for me to be any longer de.
luded by your artifice ; I fee clearly enough that you
are a cavalier in petticoats : I remember that one day,
when I was hearing maſs, my veil fuddenly flew open,
and you ſaw me. I obſerveri you out of curioſity , and
found your eyes always fixed upon me. When I went
away, I believe you did not fail to follovi me, to dire
cover in what ſtreet I lived , and who I was . I believe,
I fay , becauſe I durit not turn my head to obſerve
you , becaule my huſband , who was with me, would
have been alarmed , and made a great crime of it.
The next and the following days I went to the ſame
church, where I ſaw you again , and took ſo much no .
tice of your face, that I know it again, notwithttand
ing your diſguiſe .
Madam , then , replied Don Garcia, I muſt unmaſk :
yes, I am a man inſnared by your charms: it is Don
Garcia Sacheco, whom love has introduced here in this
dreſs . And you hope, without doubt , faid (ne, that,
approving your paſſion, I ſhould favour this ſtratagem ,
and contribute my part to keep my huſband in the er
ror he now lies under ; but there you are deceived . I
will immediately diſcover the whole to him ; I am glad
of luch a handſome opportunity of convincing him ,
that his vigilance is leſs fecure than my virtue, and
that , as jealous and diſtruſt ful as he is , it is more dif .
ficult to ſurpriſe me than him . She ha l ſcarce ended
theſe words before the Captain appeared ? What are
you talking of ladies ? ſaid he. " To which Aurora
immediately anfvered : We are ſpeaking of thoſe young
cavaliers that atteinpt to get into the affections of young
women who have old bubands; and I was ſaying, that
if any of thote sparks thould be ſo raſh as to preſune to
introduce themielves to you , under any di'gule, I
would very leverely punish their impudence,
And
 UPON TWO STICKS , 97
And you , Madam , ſaid Zanubio , turning towards
Don Garcia , how would you treat a young cavalier on
the ſame occaſion ? Don Garcia was ſo difturbed and
confuſed , that he was utterly at a loſs what anſwer to
return to the Captain , who would have perceived the
perplexity he was in, if a footman had not come to tell
him a perſon was come from Madrid to ſpeak with
him . He went to ſee what his buſineſs was, when Don
Garcia threw himſelf at Aurora's feet : Ab , Madam !
faid he, what pleaſure do you take in tormenting me !
Will you really be fo barbarous as to deliver me over to
the relentment of an enraged huſband ? No, Sacheco,
anſwered the ſmiling; young women, who have old
jealous huſbands , are notſo cruel. Reaſſume your cou
rage ; I was willing to divert myſelf by putting you
into a little fright, but that Thall be all ; it is notmak
ing you pay too dear for my complaiſance in ſuffering
you to itay here . At theſe comforting words, Don
Garcia found all his fears vanith , and conceived hopes
that Aurora was ſo kind as to inake good .
One day, when they.wwere mutually exchanging ſome
marks of their good underſtanding in Zanubio's apart.
ment, the captain ſurprized them . Had he not been
the moſt jealous man in the world, he ſaw enough to
engage him to believe with good reaſon that his fair
unknown was a cavalierdiſguiled : enraged to the high
eſt degree at this fight, he runs to his cloſet to fetch
his piſtols ; but in the mean while the lovers eſcaped,
double - locking all the doors after them , and carrying
off the keys. They got to a neighbouring village,
where Don Garcia bad left his valet de chambre and
iwo horſes. There he quitted his petticoats, took Au.
rora behind him , and conducted her to a convent,
where he deſired her to enter, and aſſured her of a re
fuge there, the abbeſs being his aunt. This done, he
returned to Madrid , to wait the iſſue of this adventure .
In the interim , Zanubio, finding himſelf locked in,
loudly called all his family. A footman , hearing his
voice, ran towards him ; but the doors being locked ,
I he
 98 THE DEVIL
he could not open them . The captain endeavoured to
break them open , but not being able to get out that
way quick enough, yielding to his rage, he haſtily
flung himſelf out of a window with his piſtols in his
hand : he fell upon his back, hurt his head, and re
mained ſenſeleſs on the ground. His domeftics came
and carried him into the hall on a couch ; they threw
water in his face, and , on tormenting him , fetched
him out of his fainting fit; but with his ſenſes his
rage returned . He aſked for his wife . The ſervanis
anſwered him , that they ſaw her and the ſtrange lady
go out at the little garden door . He commanded them
to give him his piſtols immediately, and they were
forced to obey him . He cauſed a horſe to be faddled,
mounting it, without thinking of his wounds ; but
happened to take a different road than that the lovers
went . Hepaſſed the whole day in a vain chace, and at
night ſtopping at an inn in a village to repoſe himſelf,
his fatigue, and the blood which hehad loft, threw him
into a fever and delirium , which almoſt carried him off .
To tell you the reſt in two words, he lay fifteen days
fick in that village, after which he returned to his
eſtate, where, continually poffeffed by his misfortune,
he by degrees loſt his wits . Aurora's friends were no
ſooner informed of this , than they brought him to
Madrid , and ſhut him up in the madhouſe ; and his
wife is yet in a nunnery, where they reſolve the Thall
stay ſome years as a puniſhment for her indiſcretion, or
rather a fault for which they only are to blame.
The very next to Zanubio is Signior Don Blaz Del
dichado, a gentleman of great merit. His wife's death
is the occaſion of his being in the ſad condition wherein
you ſee him. That is ſurpriſing, ſaid Don Cleofas :
what I a huſband run mad for the death of a wife ! really
I did not think conjugal love could be carried ſo high.
Not ſo faft, interrupted Alinodeus; Don Blaz did not
run mad with griet for the loſs of his wife, but for be
ing forced to reſtore fifty thouſand ducars to his wife's
relations, according to the marriage articles, in caſe
they
 UPON TWO STICKS . 99
they had no children, which is this gentleman's mii.
fortune. Oh, that alters the affair, faid Leandro ; now
I am no longer ſurprized at it. But pray tell me who
that young man is in the next room , that is capering
about like a goat , and ſtopping now and then , burſts
out into a laugh, and holds his ſides all the while .
That is a merry madman, replied the cripple , and his
madneſs was cauſed by an exceſs of joy. He was a
porter to a perſon of quality ; but hearing one day of
the death of a rich contador, whoſe only heir he was ,
he was not proof againſt ſo joyful a piece of news, and
fo his head turned .
We are got to that tall youth who plays upon the
guitar, and fings to himſelf. He is a melancholy
madman , a lover whom the ſeverities of his miſtreſs
have reduced to this condition. Ah, how I pity him ,
cried the ſtudent ; allow me to deplore his misfortune ;
it may be every honeft gentleman's caſe. If I ſhould
be fmitten by a cruel beauty, I do not myſelf know
whether. I hould not loſe my wits . By this ſentiment
you fhew yourſelf to be a true Caſtilian ; one must be
born in the very middle of Caſtile to be capable of ever
running melancholymad for being unable to pleaſe.
The French are not ſo tender ; and if you will know the
difference betwixt a Frenchman and a Spaniard on this
head, I need only repeatthat ſong which the madman
fings, and has juſt this minute compoſed .
A Spaniſh ſong.
Ardo y lloro fin llego :
Llorando y ardiendotanto,
Que ni el llanto apaga el fuego ;
Ni el fuego conſumo ell llanto.
In proſe thus .
I burn and weep incel antly, without my tears ever
quenching my flames, or myflames drying up my tears.
Thuslings the Spanish cavalier, when his miſtreſs
has uſed him ill ; and , on the ſame occaſion , a French
man , a few days ſince, expreſſed himſelf thus:
I 2 A French
 Yoo THE DEVIL
A French cong
T ' ungrateful obje &t of my love
Is deaf to all my pray’rs :
Her cruel beart no fighs can moves
Nor is thefofien'd by my tears.
Was ever murtal curs'd like me !
The light and ever glorious fun,
Henceforth abandon'd will I jbun,
And in the grave with Payen lie.
Payen is probably a vintner, ſaid Don Cleofas,
You have gueſſed right, ſaid the devil . Let us go on,
and examine the reſt. No, ſaid Leandro, let us rather .
go to the women , for I am impatient to ſee them . I
will comply with your impatience preſently, replied the
ſpirit; but there are two or three unfortunate people
that I hall be glad to thew you firſt ; perhaps you may
improve by their misfortunes.
In the next room to the man playing on the guitar,
don't you ſee a pale meagre face, grinding his teeth ,
and looking as if he intended to ſwallow the iron bars
at his window ? That is an honeſt fellow , born under
ſo unlucky a planet, that with all the merit in the
world , and twenty years endeavours, he had not been
able to ſecure himſelf bread . He ran mad at feeing
a little inconſiderable fellow of his acquaintance mount
in one day to the top of fortune's wheel by nothing but
his knowledge of arithmetic .
His neighbour is an old ſecretary, whoſe noddle is
cracked by the ingratitude of a courtier whom he had
ſerved for fixty years. He is a ſervant whoſe zeal and
fidelity can never be ſufficiently commended ; for he
never aſked any thing, but was ſatisfied with letting
his care and ſervices ſpeak for him . Yet his maſter ,
very different from Archelaus, king of Macedon, who
denied tavours when aſked , and bestowed them unaſked,
is dead without making him any recompence ; and left
him but just enough to paſs his days here in miſery,
and among madmen .
One more, and I have done . It is he leaning with
his
 UPON TWO STICKS . 101
his elbows on the window, buried in profound medi
tation. In him you ſee a Signior Hidalgo of Tafalla ,
a ſmall town in Navarre ; he removed to Madrid , and
employed his money to a fine purpoſe ; for he was
mad enough to make an acquaintance with all the
beau-eſprits , and treat them every day of his life .
Every day was a day of entertainment at his houſe ;
and though the authors, an ungrateful and churlin
tribe, laughed at him whilſt they were eating him up ,
yet he never would reſt till he had ſpent all his little
fortune upon them . No doubt, ſaid Zambullo, he is run
mad with vexation at having ruined himſelf ſo fooliſhly.
Quite the contrary, replied Aſmodeus ; it is to ſee
himſelf not in a condition to continue the ſame life.
Let us now come to the women . How comes it ,
ſaid the ſtudent, that I ſee but feven or eight ? there
are fewer women mad than I thought. All of them
are not here, replied the dæmon ſmiling : but, in ano
ther part of the city, there is a great houſe quite full
of them . I will carry you thither this minute, if you
pleaſe. That is needleſs , anſwered Don Cleofas ; I
will content myſelf with what are here . You are in
the right, replied the cripple, for they are almoſt all
young ladies, and of diſtinction ; and you may judge
by the neatneſs of their rooms that they cannot be ore
dinary women . But let me inform you of the caules
of their diſtraction .
The firſt is a corrigidor's lady, whoſe head was
turned hy the outrageous paſſion ſhe fell into at being
called a citizen's wife by a court lady. The ſecond
is wife to the treaſurer-general of the council of the In
dies ; and he is run mad with vexation at being obliged
to turn her coach in a narrow ſtreet, to make way for
that of the Ducheſs of Medina Celi's . The third is
a merchant's widow , out of her wits with ſpite for
loſing a great lord , whom the hoped to marry. And
the fourth is a girl of quality, named Donna Beatrix ,
whoſe misfortune I muſt tell you .
This lady had a friend called Donna Mencia, whom
I 3 The
 102 THE DEVIL

ſhe ſaw every day . A knight of the order of St. Jago,

a well-made gallant young fellow, became acquainted
with them , and ſoon made them rivals ; for they both
vigorouſly diſputed his heart, but he inclined to Donna
Mencia's fide, ſo ſhe was in a ſhort time married to
him ,
Donna Beatrix, jealous of the power of her charms,
conceived a mortal ſpight at having the preference
given againſt her ; and, like a right Spaniard , enter
tained a violent deſire of revenge , when the received a
letter from Don Jacintho de Romarate, another lover
of Donna Mencia's , wlierein he tells her, that being as
much mortified at his miſtreſs's wedding as the her.
ſelf was , he reſolved to fight the cavalier who had
robbed him of her. This was a very agreeable letter
to Donna Beatrix, who, deſiring only the deathof the
offender, withed for nothing more than that Don Ja .
cintho would take away his rival's life ; but whilſt the
was impatiently waiting for fo Chriftian -like a fatis .
faction, it happened that her brother having acciden
tally quarrelled with Don Jacintho, they drew, and he
received two wounds , of which he died . It was Donna
Beatrix's duty to bring the murderer to juſtice, which
however ſhe neglected , in order give him time attack
the knight of St. Jago ; and this proves that a woman
holds no confideration ſo dear as that of her beauty .
And it was thus Pallas behaved to Ajax , after he had
raviſhed Caſſandra : for the goddeſs did not immediately
puniſh the facrilegious Greek, who had juſt been pro
faning her temple , but reſolved he ſhould contribute
toward revenging her for the judgment of Paris. But,
alas ! Donna Beatrix, leſs fortunate than Minerva , did
not taſte the pleaſure of being revenged : for Romarate
periſhed in his encounter with the knight; and the la
dy's chagrin , to fee an affront which had been offered
her go unpuniſhed , has turned her brain .
The two following mad women are an attorney's
grand- mother, and an old marchioneſs. The former
having ſuficiently plagued her grandſon by her ill-nature,
he
 UPON TWO STICKS . 103
he has very fairly fhut her up here to rid bis hands of
her. The other is a lady who has all her life- time been
worſhiping her beauty. Inſtead of growing old with a
good grace, fie was perpetually bemoaning the ruin of
her charms, and at laſt , one day, happening to look
into a glaſs that did not flatter, fell mad.
As for the old marchioneſs, ſaid Leandro, I think
it is a lucky accident; as her mind is diſordered , per
haps the no longer finds that time has made any altera
tion in her perfon. No, certainly, replied the devil ;
far from ſeeing any thing like age in her face, her com
plexion ſeems to be a mixture of lilies and rofes; the
loves and graces appear at her side, and, in hurt, ſhe
thinks herfelf the goddeſs Venus. Well then , replied
the ſtudent, is not the happier in her madneſs, than if
ſhe could ſee herſelf juſt as ſhe really is ? Doubtleſs the
is , faid Aſmodeus- -But hold ; we have but one
lady more ; fe is in the futhermoſt room , who is juft
fallen into a deep ſleep after three days and nights of
raving . It is Donna Emerenciana . Examine her well ;
what ſay you to her ? ' I think her perfectly handſome,
anſwered Zambullo ; what pity it is ſo charming a
creature ſhould be mad ! By what accident has the been
reduced to ſo deplorable a condition . Liſten attentively,
replied the cripple, and you ſhall hear the ſtory of her
misfortune .
The Hiſtory of Donna Emerenciana.
DONNAEmerencianawasthe only daughter ofDon
Guillem Stephani, and lived at eaſe, at her father's
houſe in Siguenca , till Don Ximenes de Lizana broke
in upon her quiet, by the gallantries he put in practice
to pleaſe her. She was not only ſenſible of the cavalier's
aſſiduities, but was ſo weak asto help forward the itra
tagems he employed to get at the ſpeech of her, and
the ſoon gave him her faith , and received his .
Theſe two lovers were of equal birth ; but the lady
might paſs for one of the beſt fortunes in Spain , whereas
Don Ximenes was no more than a younger brother ,
There was ſtill another obitacle to their union . Don
Guillem
 104 THE DEVIL
Guillem hated the family of Lizana ; which he ſhewed
but too plainly by his diſcourſe, whenever that family
was the ſubject of converſation . He feemed even to
have a greater averſion for Don Ximenes than for the
reſt of his race. Emerenciana, extremely afflicted to
ſee her father in ſuch a diſpoſition , took it as an ill
omen to her love. However, ſhe did not ſcruple to
give a looſe to her inclinations, and to converſe privately
with Lizana , who was introduced to her from time to
time at night by means of her woman .
One of thoſe nights it happened that Don Guillem ,
who by chance waked juſt as the lover was coming in ,
thought he heard ſomething in his daughter's apart.
ment, which was not far from his own , There needed
no more to make ſo diſtruttful a parent uneaſy. How .
ever, as ſuſpicious as he was, Emerenciana's conduct had
been ſo artful, that he never ſuſpected her correlpon .
dance with Don Ximenes . But not being one of that
fort of men who' carry their confidence too far, he got
up very ſoftly, went and opened a window that looked
into the ſtreet, and had the patience to ſtay there, till
he ſaw Lizana go down by a rope-ladder into the ſtreet,
and knew him by tlie light of the moon . What a
fight was this for Stephani, the moſt revengeful and
barbarous man that Sicily, the place of his birth , ever
produced ! He did not immediately yield to the dictates
of his paſſion, but carefully avoided making a noiſe,
which might have deprived him of the principal victim
of his reſentment. He put a contraint upon himſelf,
and waited till his daughter was up the nexe day, be
fore he went to her apartment. There, finding him .
self alone with her, and looking at her with eyes Ipark .
ling with rage ; Wretch, ſaid he, who, notwithſtanding
thy noble blood , art not aſhamed to be guilty of the
moſt infamous actions, prepare thyſelf to ſuffer the pu
niſhment thou haft deterved . This feel, added 'he,
drawing a poignard out of his boſom , this ſteel ſhall
rob thee of life, if thou doft not confeſs the ti uth . Tell
me
 UPON TWO STICKS . IOS
Bite the name of that audacious villain who came hither
Jalt night to diſhonour my houſe .
Emerenciana remained quite ſpeechleſs, and ſo con
founded at her father's threats, that the could not bring
out a word . Ah ! wretch , continued her father, thy
filence and confuſion ſhew me thy guilt but too plain.
And doſt thou imagine, daughter unworthy of me,
that I am to learn what has paſſed ? Laſt night I ſaw
the audacious villain ; it is Don Ximenes . It was not
enough to admit a cavalier into thy apartment at night,
but he muft be my mortal enemy too . But come, let
us know how far I am injured . Speak without dir.
guiſe ; for it is thy ſincerity alone can preſerve thy life.
The lady, at theſe words, entertaining hopes of
eſcaping the diſmal fate that threatened her, recovered
in ſome meaſure from her fright, and anſwered Don
Guillem thus : My Lord, ſaid ſhe, I could not belp.
hearing Lizana, but heaven is witneſs of the purity of
his lentiments , As he knows you liate his family, he
has not yet dared to aſk your conſent; and it was only
to confer !oget her about the means of obtaining it, that
I ſometimes granted him admiſſion. And whom did
you both make uſe of, replied Stephani, to convey your
letters to each other ? One of your pages, anſwered the
lady, did us that ſervice. That is all I would know ,
replied the father : now for my deſign, Whereupon,
with the dagger ſtill in his hand, he made her take pen
and ink, and write her lover this letter, which he dice
tated himſelf.
Deareſt huſband, only joy of my life, I am to tell you
that my father is juſt gone into the conntry, from whence
be returns to morrow . Make uſe of he opportunity. I
flatter myſelf that you will wait for night with as much
impatience as myſelf.
When Emerenciana had written and ſealed this per
fidious billet, Den Guillem bid her call the page who
had ſo well acquitted himſelf of the commiſſion he had
been charged with, and order him to carry that letter
10 Don Ximenes. But do not hope to deceive me,
added
 106 THE DEVIL
added he, for I will lie concealed ſomewhere here, and
obſerve thee narrowly when thou giveſt it to him ; and
if thou ſayeſt a word to him , or giveft him the leaſt
ſign that may make him ſuſpect the meſſage, I will
immediately plunge the dagger in thy heart. Eme
renciana knew her father's temper too well to dare to
diſobey him. She gave the billet into the page's hands
as uſual .
Stephani then put up the poignard, but did not
leave his daughter one moment all the day ; he would
not let her ſpeak to any body out of his ſight, and
managed ſo well, that Lizana could receive no informa.
tion of the fnare that was laid for him . The young
gentleman was exact to the appointment. Scarce was
he got within the doors , when he found himſelf imme .
diately laid hold on by three luſty fellows, who dif.
armed him without giving him an opportunity of de
fending himſelf, gagged him for fear of his crying out,
and tied his hands behind him . At the ſame inſtant
they put him, in this conditioni , into a coach , that
had been prepared for the purpoſe ; and all three went
into it, to make ſure of the cavalier , whom they car
ried to Stephani's country -ſeat, ſituated at the village
of Miedes, about four ſhort leagues from Siguenca.
The moment after, Don Guillem fet out in another
coach , with his daughter , two maids , and an old ill
natured duenna, whom he had hired that afternoon .
He took with him the reſt of his family , except an old
domeſtic, who knew nothing of the carrying away of
Lizana .
Before day- break they all arrived at Miedes . Ste
phani's firſt care was to ſee Don Ximenes fecured in a
dungeon , which let in a ſmall glimmering by a hole
too ftrait for a man to get through. He then ordered
Julio, a ſervant privy to his deligns, to give him no
other nouriſhment than bread and water, nor any other
bed than ſtraw , and toſay to him every time he carried
him his allowance ? Here, baſe ſeducer , it is thus Don
Guillem treats thoſe that dare injure bim . The cruel
Sicilian
 UPON TWO STICKS . 107
Sicilian ufed his daughter with no leſs feverity ; he
fhut her up in a room that had no window towards the
fields, removed her woman , and gave her the duenna
he had choſen for her gaoler ; a duenna that could not
be paralleled in theworld for tormenting young ladies
committed to her charge. In this manner he diſpoſed
of the two lovers ; but his intention was not to ſtop
there . He had reſolved to rid biinielf of Don Xime
nes : but still he fain would have committed that crima
with impunity, which however leemed pretty difficult
to effect. As he made uſe of his own fervants to carry
off the cavalier, he could not hope that a fact, known
to lo many, could perpetually remain a ſecret. What
then was to be done to eſcape the purſuits of juſtice ?
He determined upon an expedient which ſhewed him
to be a compleat villain . He called together his aca
complices into a ſmall houſe ſeparate from the caſtles
He told them how pleafed he was with their zeal, and,
in acknowledgment, promiſed them a large reward,
after he had entertained them . He made them fit
down to table, and , in the midit of the entertainment,
Julio poiſoned them by his order. Then the matter
and the man let fire to the houſe ; and, before the flames
could bring in the inhabitants of the village about him,
they aſſaſſinated Emerenciana's two maids, and the
little page I mentioned before, and then threw their
bodies to the reit . In a thort time the houſe was all
in flames, and burnt to the ground , notwithſtanding
.
all the neighbouring peaſants could do to extinguiſh it.
All this while the Sicilian was to be ſeen thewing all
the ſigns of a moft immoderate grief. He appeared
inconſolable at the lofs of his ſervants.
Having in this manner made ſure of the diſcretion of
those in whole power it was to have betrayed him , he
thus addreilet himſelf to bis confident. Dear Julio,
now I am at reſt ; and may take away Don Ximenes's
life whenever I pleaſe. But, before I ſacrifice him to
my honour, I will enjoy the charming pleaſure of fees
ing him ſuffer. The milery and horror of a long im
priſonment
 108 THE DEVIL 3

priſonment will be more cruel to him than death . And

indeed , Lizana was continually bewailing his ill for
tune ; and being.perſuaded he ſhould never get outof
the dungeon, wiſhed to be freed from his ſufferings by
a ſudden death . But it was in vain that Stephani
hoped his mind would be at reſt after ſuch an exploit.
In three days a freſh uneaſineſs came upon him . He
was apprehenſive that Julio, when he carried the pri
foner his food, might be gained over by promiſes ; and
that fear made him determine to haften the death of the
one, and then to fhoot the other. Julio too, on his
ſide, was not without his fears ; and judging that his
maſter, after ridding himſelf of Don Ximenes, might
very probably ſacrifice him to own his ſafety , formed
the defign of making his eſcape the first opportunity,
with every thing in the houſe ihat could be carried off
with the greateit eaſe.
Theſewere the contrivances of theſe two good men,
each unknown to the other, when they were one day
both ſurpriſed about a hundred paces from the caſtle,
by fifteen or twenty archers of the holy brotherhood ,
who ſurrounded them , immediately crying out, By
order of the King, and of juſtice. At this fight Don
Guillem turned pale, and was confounded. However,
ſetting a good face upon the matter, he aſked the com
mandant whom his buſineſs was with ? With your
felf, anſwered the officer . You are charged with
carrying away Don Ximenes de Lizana. I am ordered
to make a ſtrict ſearch for that gentleman all over your .
caſtle, and to ſecure your perſon. Stephani being con
vinced by this anſwer that he was undone, fell into a
violent rage. He drew out a pair of piſtols, inſiſted
he would not ſuffer his houſe to be ſearched , and
threatened to thoot the commandant if he did
not preſently draw off with his men . The captain ,
deſpiſing his threats, advanced upon the Sicilian , who
let of a piſtol at him , and wounded hiin in the face.
But that wound coſt the raſh man that gave it his
lite ; for two or three archers fired upon him that in.
ftant,
 UPON TWO STICKS .
109
ftant, and, to revenge their officer, laid him dead upon
the spot . As for Julio , he ſurrerdered himſelf without
any reſiſtance, and did not give them the trouble of
alking whether Don Ximenes was in the caſtle, but
confelled every thing : however, ſeeing his maſter life
lets , he threw all the villainy upon him .
In ſhort, he took the commandant and his archers to
the dungeon, where they found Lizana faſt bound, lying
upon ſtraw . The poor gentleman , who lived in con
tinual expectation of death , thought that ſo many
men in arms were not come thither upon any other dea
delign than to kill him ; butwas agreeably ſurprized to
find that they, whom he took for his executioners, were
his deliverers. When they had unbound , and brought
him out of his dungeon, he thanked them for his deli .
verance , and asked them how they came to know he was
a priſoner there ? That is, ſaid the commandant, what
I am going to tell you in a few words .
The night you was carried off, purſued he, one of
thoſe concerned in it, who had a miſtreſs that lived a few
doors from Stephani, going to take his leave of her bea'
fore he fet out, was ſo indiſcreet as to diſcover Stepha
ni's project to her. The woman kept it ſecret for two
1
or three days ; but as the report of the fire at Miédes
began to ſpread all over Siguenca , and as it deemned
ſtrange to every body that the Sicilian ſervants fhould all
a
periſi in it , the bethought herſelf that it might be the
> handy-work of Don Guillem. So, to revenge her lover,
me went to Don Felix, your father, and told him all the
knew . Don Felix, frightened to ſee you at the mercy of
a man capable of any thing, carrie i the woman before
the corregidor, who , having examined her, did not doubt
but Stephani intended you ſhould ſuffer the longelt and
molt cruel torments, and that he was the horrid con
triver of the fire ; and reſolving to go to the bottom of
1 the affair, ſent me an order to Retortillo, where I live,
to mount, and halten hither with my brigade , in order
to learch for you , and bring Don Guillem alive or dead ,
I performed iny commiflion, in what relates to you,
K wish
 I10 THE DEVIL
with ſucceſs ; but am very ſorry it is out of my power
to carry the criminalto Siguenca alive. He put us un
der a neceffity of killing him by the reſiſtance he made.
The officer, having ended his ſtory, thus faid to Don
Ximenes ; Signior Cavalier, I am going to draw upin
formations of all that has happened here ; after which
we will ſet out, in order to comply with the impatience
you muſt be in of ridding your family of the uneaſineſs
they feel upon your account, Sir, cried Julio, I will
furnish you with freſh matter to enlarge your informa
tion . You have ſtill another priſoner to ſet at liberty :
Donna Emerenciana is ſhut up in a dark room , where a
mercileſs duenna is continually mortifying her, and ne
ver allows her a moment's reit. O Heaven ! cried Li
zana, the cruelStephani then was not ſatisfied with ex
ercifing his barbarity upon me only ! Let us go this mo
ment, and deliver that unhappy lady from the tyranny
of her governante .
Thereupon Julio carried the commandant and Don
Ximenes, with five or lix archers, to the chamber which
ferved Don Guillem's daughter for a priſon. They
knocked at the door, and the duenna came and opened it.
You may eaſily gueſs the pleaſure that Lizana felt at
the light of his miſtreſs, after he had deſpaired of ever
pofſefling her. He perceived his hope return , or rather
he could not doubt of his happineſs , ſince the only per
fon that could pretend to oppole it was dead. As loon
as he ſaw Emerenciana, he ran and threw himſelf at her
feet; hut who can expreſs his concern , when, inſtead of
meeting with a miſtreſs ready to receive his traniposts,
he found nobody but a lady bereft ofherunder itanding !
In effect, ſhe had been ſo tormented by the duenna, that
ſhe was run mad. She continued ſome time in deep
thought; then, on a ſudden, imagining ſhe was the fair
Angelica, helieged by the Tartars in the fortreſs of Al
braca, lhe conſidered all the men that were in her rcom ,
as ſo many Palladins come to her afiiſtance. She took
the captain of the holy brotherhood for Orlando; Li
zana for Brandiſmart ; Julio for Aubert of the Lion ;
and
 UPON TWO STICKS . III
and the archers for Antifort, Clarion , Adrian , and the
two ſons of the Marquis Oliver. She received them
with great politeneſs, ſaying, Brave knights, I no
longer fear the Emperor Agrican, nor Queen Marpli
fa ; your valour is able to defend me againſt all the
force of the univerſe.
At this extravagant diſcourſe, the officer and archers
couldnot help laughing. But it was far otherwiſe with
Don Ximenes, who, ſenſibly afflicted to fee his miſtreſs
in fo fad a condition for his ſake, was, in his turn, near
loſing his ſenſes. However, he ftill Hattered himſelf
the might be brought to herſelf ; and, in this hope, My
dear Emerenciana, ſaid he, with a tender air, lee here
your Lizana . Recollect your wandering thoughts .
Know that our misfortunes are at an end . Heaven
would not ſuffer two hearts it had joined to be ſepa
rated : and the inhuman parent, who has uſed us fo ill ,
can now no longer croſs our deſigns. 1

The daughter of King Galatron's anfwer to this, was

a diſcourſe addreſſed to the valiant defenders of Albraca,
who, for once , forbore laughing. The commandant
himſelt, though naturally very far from being tender:
hearted , felt ſome touches of compaſſion, and ſaid to
Don Ximenes, whom he ſaw borne down by his griet,
Signior Cavalier, do not deſpair of your miſtreſs's reco
very . You have phyſicians at Siguenca, who by their
ſkill may accompliſh it. But let us not stay here any
longer. You , Lord Aubert of the Lion , added he,
fpeaking to Julio , you know where the ſtables of the
caſtle are, take with you Antifort, and the two fons of
the Marquis Oliver . Chuſe the beſt ſteeds there, and
put them into the princeſs's chariot . In the mean time
I will draw up my informations. Upon this he took
out of his pocket an ink- horn and paper, and having
written what he thought proper, preſented his hand to
Angelica, to help her to go down into the court-yard ;
where, by thecare of the Palladins, they found a coach,
with four mules, ready to ſet out. He put the lady and
Don Ximenes into it, and then went in himſelf. He took
Ķ 2 the
 IIZ THE DEVIL

'he duenna with him toc, whoſe depoſition he thought

the corregidor would be glad of. Thatwas not all;
by the captain of the brigade's order, Julio was loaded
with irons, and put into another coach , with Don Guil.
lein's corpfe. The arcliers then remounted their hories,
and they all ſet out for Siguenca .
During their journey, Stephani's daughter faid a thou
ſand extravagant things, which were ſo many daggers
to her lover . He could not look on the duenna without
falling into a paſſion. It is you, cruel, old hag, ſaid
he, it is you that have harraſſed Emerenciana by your
cruel treatment, and turned her brain . The gover .
nante exculed herſelf with an hypocritical air, and threw
all the blame on the deceaſed . It is to Don Guillein
only, anſwered the, that this misfortune is owing,
That too ſevere parent carne every day, and terrified his
daughter with his menaces, which at lalt made her run
mad .
As ſoon as the commandant arrived at Siguenca, he
went and gave an account of his commiſſion to the cor
regidor, who, upon the fpot, interrogated Julio and
the duenna, and ſent them to priſons in the city, where
they still remain . He alſo examined Lizana , who then
took his leave, and went home to his father's , where he
turned their forsow and uneaſineſs into joy. As for
Donna Emerenciana, the corregidor took care to ſend her
to Madrid , where ſhe had an uncle by her mother's ſide.
This good relation , who only wanted to have the admi.
niftration of his niece's eitate, could not handſomely
avoid appearing to defire her recovery, and applied to
the moit celebrated phyſicians : Nor had he any occaſion
to repent it ; for, after all their pains had been thrown
away, they pronounced her incurable. Upon this de,
ciſion, the guardian immediately ſhut up his charge
here, where, according to all probability, ſhe will fpend
the reſt of her days:
Cruel deſtiny ! cried Don Cleofas ; I am heartily con.
cerned for her. Donna Emerenciana delerved a better
fate . And what is become of Don Ximenes ? continued
he ;
 U PON TWO STICKS : II3
he ; I ſhould be glad to know what reſolution he has
taken . A very reaſonable one , replied Aſmodeus.
When he ſaw the evil was without remedy, he ſet out
for New Spain : he hopes his travels will by degrees
wear out of his mind the remembrance of a lady,
whom his reaſon and repoſe require he ſhould forget.
But, purſued the devil , having mewn you the confined
mad folks, I muſt let you ſee thole who deſerve to
be fo .
CH A P. X.
The matter of which isinexhauſtible.
E
LET
coverusany
turn oureyestowardsthe
ſubjects which deſerve to city,and
be placed as Idifa
amongſt
thoſe that are here, I will give you their reſpective cha
racters. I ſee one already, which I will not fuffer to
eſcape. It is a new married man, who eight days
ſince was told of the coquetting tricks of a jilt that he
loved : enraged , he goes to her, breaks one part of her
. furniture, throws another out of the window, and the
next daymarries her. Such a man as this, ſaid Don.
E Cleofas, certainly deſerves the first vacancy in this houſe.
He lias a neighbour not much wiſer than himſelf,
replied Aſmodeus: it is a batchelor of forty - five,
who has ſufficient to live on , and yet would enter
himſelf in a nobleman's ſervice . I ſee a lawyer's
widow, a good woman , who is above fixty; her huſband
is juſt dead , and ſhe is going to retire into a nunnery to
ſecure her reputation , as the ſays, from ſcandal. Idit
cern a couple ofvirgins of above fifty, cach making vows
to Heaven to take their father, who keeps them as clole
27 locked up as though theywereunder age. They hope,
w after the old gentleman's death, they hall find handſome
men that will marry them for love . And why not ? ſaid
the ſtudent : there are men in the world of as whimſical
a taſte as that. I grant it , replied the devil ; it is not
impollible they ſhould find huſbands, but they ought not
to fatter themſelves with ſuch hopes ; it is therein con
Gifts their folly.
There is no country in the world where the women
K 3 tell
 114 THE DEVIL
tell their age truly. About a month fince , a maid of
forty -eight, and a wife of ſixty -nine, went before a
commiſſary to teſtify for a widow of their acquaintance,
whoſe virtue was queſtioned. The commiſſary firſt in
terrogated the married woman on her age, and though
it was as plainly expreſſed in her forehead as in the
church- regiſter, ſhe yet boldly ventured to ſay the was
but forty. He next interrogated the maiden . And you ,
Madam, ſaid he, how old are you ? Let us paſs on to the
other queſtions, Sir , anſwered the, for this is an impro
per one to put to us . You do not conſider what you
jay, Madam , replied the commiſſary ; do you not know
that in judicial caſes the truth ought always to be told ?
No law obliges us to it , anſivered the maiden , haftily.
But then I cannot take your depoſition, ſaid he, if your
age be not to it , for it is a material circumttance . If it
is abſolutely neceſſary ,replied ſhe, look upon nie intently,
and put my age down aceording to your conſcience.
The commiſſary looked in her face , and was polite
enough to let her down twenty - eight. . He then aſked
whether ſhe had long known, the widow ? I knew her
before her marriage, ſaid ſhe . Then I have miſtaken
your age, replied he, in ſetting you down but twenty
eight, for it is twenty -nine years ſince the widow was
married . Well , Sir, returned the maiden, write me
down thirty, then ; , I might at a year old know the wi.
dow. That will not be regular, replied he ; let us add a
dozen. No, indeed , interi upted the ; all that I can pol.
fibly afford to add is one year more, and I would not put
a month more if it were to ſave my reputation .
Wiven theſe two ladies were gone from the coinmif.
ſary's,the married woman ſaid to the other,Iwonder that
impertinent fellow ſhould take us for ſuch fools as to tell
our ages truly. Is it not enough , indeed , that they are
regiltered in the pariſh books , but the rude fellow would
have them upon his papers, that all the world may know
them ? Would it not be fine to hear it bawled out in
court, Mrs. Richards, aged lo many years, and Mrs.
Perinelle, aged forty -five years, depole lo and 10 ? Well,
I bantered
 UPON TWO STICKS TIS
I bantered hiin ſufficiently ; I funk a good round twenty
years upon him ; and you have done very well in fup
preſſing ſo many. What do you call ſo many ? antwered
the maiden very ſmartly : you rally ine ; I am at moit
but five and thirty. Hah! replied the other with an
angry air, whom do you tell ſo ? I ſaw you born . It is
a long time ſince, indeed . I remember to have ſeen
your father; when he died, he was not young, and it
is now above forty years. Oh, my father, my father ,
haftily interrupted the virgin, enraged at the other's
freedom ; betwixt you and I, when my father married
my mother, he was ſo old , he was not able to get
children .
I obſerve in the ſame houſe, continued the ſpirit, two
men who are not overwiſe: one is the only ſon of the ſa
mily , who can neither keep any money , nor be without
it . When he is fluſh ofmoney , he buys books; and
when it begins to be low with him , he ſells them for half
what they coſt him . The other is a foreign painter,
who draws womens pictures; he is a great artiſt,he paints
well, draws correctly, and hits a likeneſs extraordinary
weil , but does not flatter ; and yet is fo vain as to think
he Mould be crouded with buſineſs. Inter ſtultos refe
rater . How, ſaid the ſtudent, you ſpeak Latin to a mia
racle ! Ought you to wonder at that ? ſaid the devil ; I
ſpeak all languages in perfection , even not excepting
that of Athens, which I ſpeak a hundred times better
than a certain ſet of men who at preſent value them
ſelves on ſpeaking it well, and yet I ain neither the
greater fool, nor the vainer for it.
Calt your eye into that great houſe on the left hand,
on a ſick lady, ſurrounded by ſeveral women who watch
her. It is the widow of a famous rich architect, who
is over-run with an affectation of nobility ; the has this
day made her will, hy which the bequeaths her imn.ente
riches wholly to perfons of the firſt quality ; not that the
knows any of them , but only for the ſake of their great
titles . She was aſked whether ſhe would not leave fome.
thing to a certain perſon wiwo had done her confiderable
ſervices
 116 THE DEVIL
ſervices. Alas , no, anſwered the, and I am concerned at
it : I am not ſo ungrateful as not to own that I have ob
ligations to him ; but he is but a yeoman, and his name
would diſgrace my will.
Signior Aſmodeus, interrupted Don Cleofas, I beg
you would inform me whether that old man , whom I
tee reading ſo hard in a cloſet, may not perhaps deſerve
to be placed here ? He deſerves it beyond diſpute, an
ſwered the dæmon . He is an old licentiado in divinity,
and is reading a proof of a book he has at the preſs.
The ſubject muſt certainly be moral or divine , ſaid the
ftudent . No, replied the devil, it is a miſcellany of lewd
poems which he has written ; inſtead of burning them ,or
at leaſt ſuffering them to die with their author, he prints
them in his life time, for fear his heirs Mould not be in
clined to publiſh them after his death, or, out of regard
to his character, ſhould deprive them of all their falt and %
ſpirit . I ſhould do wrong to paſs by a little woman
who lives with the licentiate . She isſo much poſſeſſed
with her very ſmallmerit, that the is drawing up a lift
of her lovers, in which the inferto all men in general
who ever ſpoke to her.
But let us come to a rich canon that I diſcern about
two paces farther, tainted with a very particular folly.
He lives frugally, though it is neither for mortification,
nor ſobriety, but to amaſs riches . For what ? To dif
tribute in alms ? No. He buys pictures, rich furniture,
jewels, china , and baubles ; not to enjoy the uſe of them
during his life, but only to make a figure in his inven
tory . What you tell me is unnatural and forced , inter
rupted Don Cleofas. Is there really a man in the world
of this character ? Yes, I tell you , replied the devil , he
is one of that ſort of madmen . Does he, for inſtance ,
buy a very fine cabinet ; he cauſes it to be packed up
neatly , and locked up in his garret, that it may appear
perfectly new to the brokers who are to buy it after his
death. In thort, he pleaſes himſelf with the thoughts
that the inventory of his goods will be admired .
Lut us proceed to one of his neighbours, whom you
will
 UPON TWO STICKS . 117
will think full as mad ;. he is a bachelor, and lately ar .
rived at Madrid from the Pnilippine Iſlands with a vaſt
eſtate, left him by his father, who was auditor of the
court of Manilla , His conduct is very extraordinary ;
for he is to be ſeen paſſing the whole day in the anti
chamber of the King, and of the chief miniſter. Not
that he has the ambition to ſolicit any great poft ; no ,
he neither defires nor alks any. How then ! lay you ,
does he go thither purely to make his court : You are
farther off ſtill; he never ſpeaks to the miniſter , neither
is he known to him , nor delires to be ſo . What then
can his motive be ? Why this : he would perſuade the
world he has an intereſt there. A very diverting origi
nal , cried the ſtudent, burſting into a laugh : but this is
giving one's ſelf a great deal of trouble to very little pur
poſe ; and I think you are in the right to rank him
amongſt ſuch mad people as ought to be confined . Oh !
as to that, replied Aſmodeus, I ſhall new you a great
many more, whom it would be wrong to think a whit
more in their ſenſes. For example, do but look into
that great houſe where you ſee ſo many wax taperslight
ed up, and three men and two ladies round a table. Now
theſe people have juſt ſupped, and are at preſent ſet down
to cards, in order to ſpend the reſt of the night, after
which they will part : and this is the life theſe gentle
men and ladies lead . They meet regularly every night,
and part at day-break to go to ſleep, till darkneis
has baniſhed the light of the ſun , and of the beauties
1
of nature. Would you not ſay , to ſee them in the
midſt of ſo many.candles, that they were ſo many dead
people waiting forthelaſt office being done them ? Well
then , ſaid Don Cleofas, there is no occaſion for ſhut
ting up theſe fools, they are ſhut up already.
I ſee in the arms of ileep, replied the cripple, a man
whom I love, and who has a particular affection forme;
a man mouided according to my heart's deſire . He is
an old graduate, who idolizes the fair ſex. You cannot
mention a pretty girl to him ,but you find he listens to you
*
with an extraordinary pleaſure. If you tell him (he has
a ſmall
 118 THE DEVIL

a ſmall mouth, red lips, ivory teeth, or a complexion of

alabaſter, in a word, if you are the leaſt particular in
your deſcription, he figlis at every feature, turns up his
eyes, and diffolves in raptures. It is but two days ſince
paſſing by a thoe-maker's ſhop in Alcala-ftreet, he ſtop
ped thort to adınire a very ſmallwoman's Nipper he faw
ihere ; and having ſurveyed it with much more attention
than it deſerved , he ſaid with a dying air to a gentleman
that was with him , Ah, my dear friend, there is a llipper
that inchants me ! What a charming, pretty foot that
muſt be, that it was made for ! But let us be gone, for I
am too much pleaſed with it, and it is dangerous to go
through this ſtreet .
We muſt mark this graduate with black , ſaid Lean
dro Perez. Right, replied the devil, we muſt ſo ; nor
mult his next neighbour be marked with white ; an ori
ginel of an auditor, who, becauſe he has an equipage,
bluſhes with ſame whenever he is obliged to make uſe of
a hackney -coach . And I think we may place in the ſame
rank one of his relations, a licentiado, who, though he has
the dignity of a vaſt revenue in a church at Madrid , yet
almost perpetually goes in a hackney coach, to ſave two
very neat ones , and four fine mules , of his own that he
has in the ſtable .
In the neighbourhood of the worthy graduate and au .
ditor, I perceive a man who muſt not be denied the
juſtice of being placed amongſt the mad folks ; a cava .
lier of fixty making love to a young creature. He fees
her every day, and thinks to be agreeable to her, by en
tertaining her with the conqueits hemade in his younger
days, and would have her efteem him for his having
been formerly handſome .
In the ſame number with this gentleman, let us place
another who is aſleep about ten paces from us, a French
Count, who is come to Madrid to ſee the Spaniſh court .
This old nobleman is upwards of feventy, and in his
youth made a figure at the court of his own king . All
the world at that time admired his ſhape and gallant
zir, but his taſte and manner of dreſs charmed every
body .
 UPON TWO STICKS . 119
body. Now this gentleman has preſerved all his cloaths ,
and worn them theſe fifty years, in ſpite of the mode,
which in his country changes every day. But the moſt
diverting circumſtance is, that he imagines he has the
ſame graces at this day which were admired in him in
his youth. We need not conſider upon this matter, ſaid
Don Cleofas ; let this French lord go into the number
of thoſe that ought to be boarders atthe Caſa de los locos.
I keep a room there, replied the dæmon , for a lady that
lives in a gatret on one ſide the Count's palace. She is
an elderly widow , who, out of exceſs of tenderneſs to
her children, has made over all her eſtate to them , ex
cepting a very ſmall allowance to ſubfit on , which her
children are obliged to make her, and which out of gra
titude they take care not to pay .
I muſt likewiſe ſend thither an old bachelor of a good
family , who no foonerhas a ducat in his pocket than it
is gone ; and yet , not being able to ſupport the want of
money , will do any thing to come at it . About a fort
night ago his laundreſs, to whom he owed thirty piſtoles,
cane and deſired he would pay her, telling him the
wanted it in order to be married to a valet de chambre
who courted her . Thou muſt have other money then ,
ſaid he ; for what devil of a valet de chambre would
have thee for fifty piſtoles ? Oh dear, yes, Sir, ſaid ſhe,
I have two hundred ducats beſides. Two hundred
ducats ! faid he,eagerly . Gadfo ! Thou haſt nothing to
do, but to give them to me, and I will marry thee, and
f
fo we are even . His laundreſs took him at his word ,
and is now his wife .
Let us keep three places for thoſe three men juſt
come from ſupper in the city, who are now ſtepping
into that house on the right where they live. One of
them is a Count, who ſets up for a lover of polite
learning. The other is his brother, a licentiado ; and
the third is a wit that hangs on them . They are always
inſeparable, and never viſit alunder. The Count's role
buſineſs is to praiſe himſelt : that of the licentiado, to
praiſe his elder brother and himſelf : but the wit's buli.
nels
 THE DEVIL
neſs is of a larger extent ; he praiſes both of them , in
termixing his own commendations with theirs . Two
more places muſt be kept ; one for an old citizen, a great
florilt, who having ſcarce enough to ſubſiſt on , is for
keeping a gardener and his wife to look after a dozen of
flowers in his garden . The other is an actor, who,
complaining of the diſadvantages incident to that way
of life, said the other day to ſome of his companions ,
Indeed, Gentlettien, I aṁ very much tired with this
profeſſion ; nay, I would even rather be an inconſiderable
country gentleman of a thouſand ducats a year ! Let
me turn on which fide I will, continued the ſpirit, I
meet with nothing but people diſordered in their fenfes.
There is a knight of Calatrava, ſo proud and vain of
private converſations with the daughter of a grandee,
that he thinks himſelf upon a footing with the moſt con
fiderable perſons at court . He is like Villius, who fan
cied himſelf Sylla's ſon- in - law, becauſe he was well with
the dictator's daughter. The compariſon is the more
pat , as this knight, like the Roman , has a Longarenus,
a good -for-nothing fellow ofa rival,that is more in het
good graces than himſelf. One would be apt to fay that
the ſame men from time to time ſpring up again , only
with different features. For in that miniſter's ſecretary
one may diſcover Bolanus, who kept no meaſures with
any body, and affronted every man whoſe countenance
did not pleaſe him . In that old preſident one lees Fu
fidius over again, who uled to lend his money at five per
cent .
per month . And Marlæus, who gave his family
feat to the comedian Origo, lives againin tliat heir of
the family; who is waſting in debauchery the money lie
received for an eſtate, nearthe Eſcurial, with an actreſs .
Aſincdzus was going on , when on a ſudden he hearil
the tuning of inttruments,upon which he broke off, and
faid to Don Cleofas ;‫ ز‬At the corner of this ſtreet there
are ſome muſicians going to ſerenade the daughter of an
Alcace of the court ;‫ ܪ‬and if you have a mind to be nearer
the diverſion, you need only ſpeak . I love these concerts
mightily , anſwered Zambullo ; let os gộ nearer the mu
fic,
 UPON TUO STICKS . 121

fic, perhaps there may be voices amongſt them . He had

ſcarce spoken , when he found himlelf upon the houſe
adjoining to that of the Alcade.
The inſtruments began the concert with ſeveral Ita
lian airs , after which two voices ſung the following
couplets alternately .
First Couplet. Y debax , ha difcubierto
Side tu bermaſura quieres Quien le mata .
Una copia con mil gracias ; Fourth Couplet.
Eſcucha, porque pretendo Eres duena de ellugar,
El pintar la. Vandolera de las almas,
Second Couplet . Iman de los aivedrios , '
Es tu frenie ed niere Linda albaja.
Ye!wibajira ; batallas Fifth Couplet.
offreció al amor, baziendo Un raſgo de tu bormofitra
Enelia saya .
Quiſiera yo retralar la,
Third Couplet. Que es eſtrella , es tielo, es fol ;
Amor labi o de tus cejas No es finc el alva .
Des arcos para ſu Aljava
Firſt Couplet.
Would you ſee a copy of thoſe charms, and that beauty of
.
yours ; liften , for I am going 10 paint them,
Second Couplet.
Your face is all of ſnow and alabaſter ; it has defied love,
who laughed at it.
Third Couplet.
Love has made of your eye- brows two bows for his quiver ;
but he has diſcovered below them who it is that wounds him .
Fourtb Csuplet.
You are the fovereign of this place, the ſtealer of hearts,
the diamond of desires, a fine jewel.
Hifib Couplet.
I would fain with one ítroke deſcribe your beauty. It is
a ftar, a heaven , a ſun ; no, it is nothing butthe morning.
Theſe couplets are gallant and delicate , laid the itu
dent . That is because you are a Spaniard, ſaid the
demon :: were they tranſlated into French, they would
6
not be much admired . Readers of that nation would
not like the figurative exprefíions , but would diſcover
in then a whimiicai imagination that would ſet them a
laughing. Every nation is prepollined in favour of its
own talte and genius, Bar let us have done with thoſe
L couplets ,
 1 22 THE DEVIL

couplets, continued he, for you are going to hear ane

ther kind of muſic.
Follow with your eye thoſe four men that on a ſudden
appear in the treet ; ſee, they fall upon the ſerenaders,
who make uſe of their inftruments to defend themſelves ;
but they, not being able to withiland the force of the
blows, fly into a thouſard ſhivers . And now two gen
tlemen come to their aſſiſtance, cne of which gave the
ſerenade . See with what fury, they charge the aggreſo
fors, who being of equal courage and addreſs, receive
thein with a good grace. What a tiie flaſhes from their
fwords ! See one of the defenders of the concert falls !
and it is he that gave it . He is mortally wounded .
His companion, who perceives it, takes to luis heels;
the aggreſſors too make off, and the muſic diſappears.
Only the poor unfortunate cavalier, whole ſerenade cost
him his life, remains there on the ſpot . ' Obſerve at the
ſame time the Alcade's daughter, who from her win
dow is obſerving every thing that has paſſed ; and is
ſo proud and vain of her beauty, though a very ordin
nary creature,that, inſtead of being forry for the fad
effects of it, the crucl wretch applauds herſelf for it,
and thinks herſelf more bandſome upon that account.
But that is not all , added he ; you ſee another gentle
man , who, coming up to him that lies wallowing in
his own blood, endeavours if poſſible to help him ; but
while he is employed in fo charitable an office, you fee
he is ſeized by the watch that come in upon him , and
is dragged to priſon, where he will remain a long time,
nor will it coſt him leſs than if he had been really the
murderer.
Good God ! exclaimed Zambulio , how many misfor
tunes have happened to -night! Yes, replied the devil,
and yet that will not be the laſt. At this moment, it
you were at the gate of the ſun, you would be tartled
at a fight that will ſoon preſent itielf. By the careleil
neſs of a ſervant, the fire has taken hold of a great
houſe, and already reduced a great many valuable things
to alhes, But whatever valuable effects it may con
fume,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 123
fume, Don Pedro de Eſcolano, whoſe unfortunate houſe
it is, will not regret the loſs of them , if he can ſave his
only daughter Seraphina, who is in danger of being
burnt. Don Cleofas defiring to be an eye witneſs of
the fire , the cripple that inſtant flew with him to a large
houſe directly over againſt that where the fire was .
C H A P. XI .
Of the fire, and what Aſmodeus died on that occaſion out
of friendſhip to Don Cleofas.
IMMEDIATELY they heard a contuled noiſe of peo
ple crying out fire, and calling for water . Preſently
they ſaw the great ſtair - caſe, leading to the best apart.
ment of Don Pedro's houſe, all on fire, and , in a mi
nute, clouds of flames and finoke iſſuing out at the win
dows . The fire rages , ſaid the dæmon ; it has already
mounted to the roof, and begins to make its way out
by it, and fill the air with ſparks; and is got to ſuch
a height, that, though the people flock from all parts
to extinguiſh it, they can do no more than stand by as
fpectators . You may diſtinguiſh from among the
crowd an old gentleman in a night-gown ; he is the Sig
nior de E !colano . How he cries and takes on ! He is
addreſſing himſelf to the people that are about him ,
and conjuring them to go fetch out his daughter ; but
the great reward he promiſes them is to no purpoſe,
for nobody will expoſe his own life for that lady, who
is a perfect beauty, and but fixteen years of age. He
tears his hair and muſtachios, feeing his prayers and
intreaties for allittance are in vain ; he beats his breaſt,
and out of excets of grief behaves like a madman . On
the other ſide, Seraphina, in the apartment, deſerted
by her women , lias ſwooned away with the fright, and
will , in a linle time , be ſtifled by the thick tmoke, for
no mortal man has it in his power to belp her.
Ah , Signior Aſmodeus, cried Leandro Perez, moved
by a generous compaſſion, yield, I beg you , to the
emotions of pity which I feel, and do not reject the in
treaties I make you to reſcue this lady from impend .
ing death. It is the only recompence I ask for the fer ,
L vice
 124 THE DEVIL
vice I have done you . Do not oppoſe my deſires as
you did juſt now, for I Mall die with grief if you re
fure me .
The devil ſmiled to hear the ſtudent talk thus. Sig
ņior Zambullo, faid he, you have all the qualifications
of a true knight- errant ; you have bravery, a compaſ
fion for the sufferings of others, and a great readineſs
to ſerve the ladies ; have not you a mind to throw your
felf into the midſtof thoſe fiames, like an Amadis, in
order to deliver Seraphina, and reſtore her ſafe and
found to her father ? Would to heaven the thing were
poſſible, anſwered Don Cleofas, I would undertake it
without a moment's heſitation . Yes, replied the devil ,
and death would be the reward of ſo fine an exploit.
For I have already told you , that human valour can be
of no ſervice here ,and itmuſt be myſelf that undertakes
the affair to oblige you ; pray ſee how I go about it,
and obſerve all myoperations.
Theſe words were hardly out of his mouth, when
putting on the likeneſs of Leandro Perez, to the ſtu
dent's great amazement, he flipped among the crowd ,
preſſed through, and darted into the midſt of the flames,
as into his proper element, in the ſight of the spectators,
who were terrified at the action , and ſhewed their diſlike
of it by a great ſhriek. What madman is this ? ſaid
one : how can intereſt have blinded him ſo far ? Were
He not entirely bereft of his ſenſes, the promiſed reward
would have been no temptation for him . This rallı
young fellow , ſaid another, muſt certainly be a lover
of Don Pedro's daughter, who , puſhed on by exceſs of
grief, muſt have reſolved to reſcue his miſtreſs, or die
in the attempt. In ſhort, they gave him up to * Em
pedocles's fate, when in a moment they ſaw him break
through the flames with Seraphina in his arms. The
air rang with the acclamations of the people, who could
not ſufficiently praiſe the brave cavalier that had per.
formed to fine an action ; for when raſhneſs is crowned
with
* A poet and philoſopher of Sicily, who threw himſelf ina
to the flames of Mount Ætna.
 UPON TWO STICKS . 125
with ſucceſs, it finds none to blame it ; and though it
was a prodigy, it appeared as the bare conſequence of
Spaniſh courage.
As the lady was ſtill in her ſwoon, her father did not
dare to give himſelf up to joy ; but was afraid, that,
after being ſo happily relcued from the flames, ſhe might
die in his fight, by the terrible impreſſion which the
danger ſhe had run muſt have made on her brain . But
he was foon put out of his fears ; for the came to her
ſelf by the care that was taken of her ; and caſting her
eyes on the old gentleman with an air of tenderneſs,
Sir, ſaid me, I thould be more afflicted than rejoiced to
find my life preferved, if yours was not ſo too . Ah !
my dear child , anſwered he, embracing her, ſince you
are fafe, I am not concerned for any thing elſe . Let
us return our thanks , continued he, at the ſame time
preſenting the counterfeit Don Cleofas to her; let us
both return cur thanks to this young gentleman, our
deliverer ; it is to him you owe your life . We cannot be
grateful enough to him ; nor is the promiſed reward
ſufficient to bring us out of his debt. Here the devil
took up the diſcourſe, and very gallantly ſaid to Don
Pedro , My Lord , the reward you propofed had no ſhare
in the ſervice which I have had the happineſs to do you .
I am a gentleman and a Caſtilian ; the pleaſure of dry
ing up your tears, and of preſerving from the flames
the charming object they were going to conſume, is
more than a ſufficient recompence for me.
The diſintereſtedneſs and generoſity of their deliverer
inſpired the signior de Eſcolano with a valt eſteem for
him : he invitid him to come and ſee him , and deſired
his friendlip in return for his own , which he offered
him ; and then , after a great many compliments on
both fides, the old gentleman and his daughter retired
to a little apartment they had at the end of the garden .
After this the devil went back to the ftudent, who, lee
ing bim retum in his firſt form , ſaid , Sir Dæmon, ein
ther my eyes deceive me , or you were juſt now in my
likeneſs . " Yes, Sir , ſaid the cripple, I was, and hope
L3 you
 126 THE DEVIL
you will pardon me for it, when I acquaint you with
the reaſons for that metamorphoſis. I have formed a
great deſign , for I intend you mall marry Seraphina,
and , under your features, have inſpired her with a vio
lent paſſion for your Lordſhip. Don Pedro too is very
well pleaſed with you , becauſe I told him very gallant
ly, that my only view in reſcuing his daughter,was the
pleafure of obliging them both : and that the honour
of happily putting an end to fo dangerous an affair, was
recompence enough for a gentleman and Spaniard . The
good man , who has a great ſoul, will not be outdone
in generoſity ; and , I muſt tell you , is this moment con
fidering whether he ſhall not make you his ſon - in -law ,
that his gratitude may keep pace with the obligation he
thinks he has to you. Whilſt he is determining, I will
carry you to another place, and divert you with differ
ent objects.
CHAP . XII.
The LOVERS.
I MUST confeſs, ſays Cleofas, the obſervations you
have made are very inſtructive, but tend to things
for which a man of my age and complexion has but lit
tle reliſh . You are to remember it was a love adven
ture brought ine into the honour of your converſation ;
and , dear Cupid , ſince you preſide over that paſſion,
confine your diſcourſe to what you are maſter of. Shew
me then the joys and anxieties, the politics and follies
of lovers, if you would improve me in a real uſeful
knowledge. I thould be ſhy, ſaid the dæmon , of giv
ing you that inforination, for fear of Joling a votary ,
did I not know it is an infeparable quality in lovers to
fee, and yet indulge, their miſery and weakneſs ; for
which reaſon I am under no apprehenſion of your grow .
ing wifer from the folly of others. But prithee, quoth
the fudent, before you go any farther, let me know
what that gentleman is, who is ſtriking fire at his tin .
der box ; do you obſerve yonder, how he appears and
vaniſhes as the ſparks fly about him ? That vigilant
perfon, replied Aſmodeus, is a lover, who has been
this
 UPON TWO STICKS . 127
this evening in his miſtreſs's company . She, in her
diſcourſe on different things, began two or three cen
fures with an accuſtomary phraſe of hers, There are
Some people in the world. This he took no notice of at
the time the spoke it ; but, upon fecond thoughts, in his
own lodgings, very wiſely diſcovered that the meant
him by that ambigrious expreſſion. After taking feve
ral turns in his chamber , he called for pen , ink , and
paper, kicked his footman down ſtairs, and reſolved to
tell his mistreſs plainly , he knew whom ſhe aimed at in
her late reflections. He had not gone through the firſt
line of his letter, before he was interrupted by a ſudden
thought which ſet all things right again ; convinced
him that his ſuſpicions were groundleſs, and that he
was ftill in her good graces. He immediately grew the
molt ſatisfied man in the world , went to bed in the
height of good humour, gave his man a crown, and
bid him good night. What diſaſter , lays Cleotas, can
have befallen him ſince ? he ſeems to blow his tinder in
an unuſual hurry. How his cheeks ſwell , and his
eyes glare ! It is the moſt dreadful night-piece I ever ſaw .
You muſt know, ſays the dæmon, he had compoſed
himlelf with great tranquillity for half an hour, and
was juſt falling alleep, when he itartled on a ſudden ,
and bethoughthimſelf, if ſhe did not mean him, who could
she mean ? This threw him into lo great a ferment ,
that be jumped out of his bed , with a reſolution to do
ſomething which yet neither he nor I know any thing
of. I heartily pity the poor fellow , faid Cleofas, for
I find he loves in carnet. Had he not , replied the dæ
mon , ſhe had been his own before now ; but it is the
frailty of that weak lex to prefer an affected paſſion to a
seal one. That is a frailty ! ſays the ſtudent, into which
they naturally fall. A perſonated lover can aſſume all the
graces, and avoid all the imperfectionsof the paſſion. Dila
quietudes, jealouſies and expoítulations, ever accompany ,
but very ill recommend , a heart thoroughly enamoured .
But look , the man has lighted his candle , and blowed
it out again . Ay, lays the dæmon , he was quieted .
the
 128 THE DEVIL
the very moment he had lighted it, by calling to mind
that he had one day heard his miſtreſs ſay , nothing was
fo graceful in a man as an high forehead , which you
may obſerve he has , to the apparent detriment of his
chin, cheeks, and eyes . On how ( light a foundation
is railed the good and evil of lovers! cried Cleofas.
Perhaps the who creates all this diſorder is in perfect
tranquillity.
That you ſhall ſee immediately , ſaid Aſmodeus. Caſt
your eyes on the great houſe in the corner of the
fame ſtreet ; does not a watch -light diſcover to you a
lady lying half out of her bed , and talking to a ſervant,
who líts by her fide ? You are to underſtand , by the
way , that the woman of a lady in love never goes to
bed till four in the morning. As ſoon as the has un
dreſſed her, and laid her on her pillow, her buſineſs of
putting her to reſt is but begun ; for ſhe is then to ſit
down by her , hear her ſentiments of the humble ſervant,
and confúte all her fufpicions of his infidelity or want
of love ; and by that time the good lady is ten times
thoroughly convinced, and her maid as often perjured,
in hopes to be diſmiſſed, the ſtory is to begin again .
The preſent anguiſh of our waketul vettal is occaſioned
by a merry tale that the gentleman in his ſhirt told her
in their laſt converſation , which diverted her ſo much ,
that ſhe is afraid he hath not grief at heart who could .
talk with fo much humour. This gives her a thouſand
fears that he hath broke his feiters; but ſhe now re :
ceives comfort, the wench having almott perfuaded her,
that the perſon for whom her ladyihip biad ſo much ten .
derneſs, went away in very great diſorder, and in all
probability is at this moment opon the rack .
I knew by experie;ice, ſays the student, there is no.
thing to dilagreeable to one in her ladyſhip’s condition
as a fiate of indifference ; your true lover muit be al
ways giving pleaſure or pain . But who is that pretty
creature fighing before her glaſs at this time of night?
Why does nebite her lips, glance her eyes , and exa
mine her face in ſo many different views ? You know ,
faid
 UPON TWO STICKS . 129
faid Aſmodeus, the cultom among you young fellows,
of publithing a litt every winter of the beauties who
are to be the tyrants of the year, and have their healths
drank by crowds of ſecond -hand lovers, that never ſaw
them, but are to be enamoured by hear -ſay, and die
for them becauſe it is the faſhion . The lady before
us , after a reign of three years , was left out in yeſter -
day's nomination , which is the ſubject of her preſent
contemplation ; wherein the appeals to her glaſs from
the injuſtice of the electors. To be revenged on the
town, ſometimes ſhe is reſolved to marry a faithful lover
the has long laughed at, and ſpend the remainder of
her life in devotion ; but, upon ſurveying herſelf more
parrowly, ſhe finds things are not come to that extre
mity, and now intends to dreſs , and try the fortune of
her features in all public places for one year more, in
order to revive her pretenſions againſt the next elec
tion . But we muſt not dwell ſo long on particulars ;
if you would have an idea of the extent of my com
mand, you ſee my followers in every quarter of the
city:
Yonder is a young lady getting out at a window to
run away with her father's footman ; and , at that cor
ner, is a Lord attending with a coach and fix , to ſteal
a mantua-maker's journey.woman . The gentleman you
ſee in the porch has made an affignation to meet his
miſtreſs in that place to -morrow morning at leven, and
in order to it , touk his ftation there at een laſt night.
Excuíe interruption, ſaid the ſtudent : pray tell methe
circumſtances of the perſon yonder that lieson his back
with his hands lifted up, and his head erected , like a
0 figure on a tomb ; he ſeems falling aſleep in an act of
devotion ; it is the only perſon i have ſeen well em
ployed ; he is taken up much better than in theſe va.
nities . Nothing leſs , anſwered the dæmon ; he lies
motionleſs , as you ſee, that a plate of black lead on
his forehead may have its due effect in preſerving it
ſmooth . His hands are tied up, that they may be
white in the morning ; and his waiſt braced up with
an
 130 THE DEVIL
an iron bodice, to preſerve his ſhape. In this extraordi.
nary poſture he is calling upon cruel Belinda ; and ,
amidſt a thouſand cutting reflections on the ill ſucceſs of
his paſſion, it is no ſmall mortification to him , that,
by the itching of the left ſide of his noſe, he finds he
thall have a pimple there before morning.
But pray tell me, ſays Cleofas, the hiſtory of that
ſtudious gentleman that ſtands in his night gown, look.
ing upon his candle. He rubs his heari , as it it teemed
with some extraordinary project . Ah ! my old friend,
Leandro, ſays the dæmon , are you there ? This gen
tleman , ſays he, turning to Cleofas, about fifteen years
ago, fell in love with a young widow , who did not dis
courage his addreſſes. He is a good - natured , ſenſible
fellow , and fond to death of his fair idol ; but at the
ſame time fo over -run with modeſty , that he cannot find
courage enough to reveal his paſſion, and ask her con
ſent. She has given hin a thouſand opportunities of
breaking it to her, and he hasmadeas many reſolutions
of doing it the next time he fees her ; but they are no
fooner left together, than he falls into confuſions and pal.
pitations, looks like an aſs, and withes fomebody would
come into the room to diſembarraſs him , and ſpoil an
opportunity, that, perhaps, he has longed for ſeveral
months before. She took him yeſterday into the fields.
The lover, who would have given half his eſtate for ſo
favourable an occaſion, fell to praifing the proípect , and ,
after a great many efforts to enter on the grand affair,
reſolved to put it off to another tin.e. His paſſion be
gan in theyear 1692, and in 1695 was in a fair way , liad
he preſſed it; ever ſince that timehe has been endeavour
ing to communicate his heart, but it fails hin , and it
is very probable he may be paſt the functions of love
before he has courage enough to make it. This would
have been a rare fellow to have made love before the de .
luge, ſays Cleofas; a man might have languiſhed an
hundred years for a girl, and afterwards, upon her diſ
dain , have had two or three centuries of youth to taſte
in ; but, at preſent , courtſliip, marriage, and conſum
mation ,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 131
mation , are drawn into a ſpan . We muſt huddle up
our amours as ſoon as poſſible, if we intend to taſte the
(weets of them .
But, faid Aſmodeus, commend me to that buſy gen
tleman , whom you ſee writing in a penſive poſture.
He is a paſſionate lover, that is, an angryone; an ho
neit foul, that ſhews his ſincerity to his miſtreſs , by ne
ver diſguiſing his relentinents. This morning he took
the innocent freedom of shaking her by the thoulder,
and calling her a dirty baggage; upon which , after hav
ing deliberated whether he ought to hang himſelf or beg
her pardon , he has juſt now finiſhed a penitential letter
to her, wherein he ſubſcribes himſelf the vileft of men ,
and moſt iniferable of lovers . Unhappy wretch ! let
him go sleep, if he can , ſaid the itudent ; but I grow
fick with looking upon fools fo like myſelf. You would
oblige me more , if you would thew nie the weakneſs of
The enemy, and let me ſee, that, with all theſe diſad .
vantages, we are equal to the ſex we have to deal with ,
There is hardly one of them , ſaid the devil, who does
not deſtroy, by her ignorance, the paſſion the raiſes by
her beauty .
If you had as good ears as I, you would hear that
Jady, who friſks to and fro in her apartment with ſo
much uneaſineſs, cry coxcomb, fop, clown, novice, at
every little ſtop the makes in her walk. Her mitery is,
that, according to form, the told a plain fellow with a
good eſtate, who propoſed himſelf to her, ſhe wondered
he could make her ſuch an offer, and folemnly proteſted
Me could never like him . The ſwain believed her, and
is gone to his country-leat ; upon which ſhe is now
caſting about, by what means to explain to theruſtic
the nature of gallantry, and make him underſtand ,that
a man's profeſſion of love, and a woman's refuſal, in
this refined age, are equally mere words,
But I obſerve a lady, who, of all that I have ſeen ,
faid Cleofas, touches me with the greateſt compaſſion :
her ttreaming eyes, and diſhevelled hair, ſpeak a perfect
Magdalen : What can be her diſtreſs ? Who could be
fo
 THE DEVIL
' 132
ſo barbarous to a creature made up of ſuch ſofineſs ?
1
That diſconfolate dame, quoth Aſmodeus, was three
1
hours ago one of the greateſt coquettes in Madrid , and
is breaking her heart too late for want of knowing it 1

time enough. She had long loved a gentleman of merit ,

but played with his paſſion and her cwn, by ſo many
repeated flights, that he grew tired of the chace, and 2

yeſterday dilpoled of himielf to another . It is for this

reafon that the abandons herſelf this night to prayer ard $

hartſhorn, and intends to -morrow to fhut herſelf up in a

nunnery for ever . It would be endleſs to thew yon the ‫ܕܪܬ‬

vanities of the lex ; their thoughts, words, and actions

tend only to thew and oftentation, for which they facri
fice their liberty, and all the pleaſures of life,
Look atthe sumptuous apartment in that palace, and
the wrought bed that reaches up to the roof of it. Do
not you lee in it an oldman just fallen alleep, and by his
fide a beautiful young lady, looking at a picture in mi
niature ? The avarice of her inother tore her from the
voung gallant whoſe figure ſhe is contemplating, to bury
her in the embraces of one the loaths . And now all the
hopes the has left are, to lay her old man in a winding
Thiet, and , one day or other, come into the arms of her
At the next house is a more diverting light.
firſt lover .
The brute who staggers into that chamber is reeling to
the bed of that delicate creature, wloin her prudent pa
rents proſtituted to his embraces . The fot was rival to
one of a very agreeable character ; their fortunes were
equal; but I dare ſay you will laugh at the merit which
preferred this worthy to the choice of the provident ino
ther . You muſt know he had a pidgeon -houſe upon
his eftate , which the other wanted ; this turned the ba
lance in his favour, and determined the fate of that un
fortunate lady .
If you can ſhew us only unhappy effects of this paf
fion, Taid Cleofas, I muſt defe you would entertain
me with another fet ofobjects. Do not be diſcouraged ,
anſwered the dæmon , at the proſpects I have laid betore
you . There are in nature plealing amous and hapı y
marriages,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 135
+ marriages, but theſe are not to be looked for in Ma
drid. To give you a fight of happy pairs, I ſhould
tranſport you to folitudes and retirements , where love
is a ſtranger to art and gallantry, and lives amidſt its own
natural ſweets, complacency, and mutual eſteem, and
eternal conſtancy; without being diverted by the falſe
appearances, which, under the colour of advancing its
enjoyments, vitiate the true reliſh of them . It is when
we fpirits behold mortals in this condition , that we ſuf
fer our greateſt pangs of envy , and with for fleſh and
blood totaſte the gratification beſtowed upon them .
CHAP . XIII ,
Of the Tombs, the Ghoſts, and Death.
BEFORE wepurſue our reflectionson the living,faid
the dæmon, let us for a few minutes difturb the re
poſe of the dead , buried in this church. Let us run
ihrough theſe fepulchres, lay optr what they conceal,
and ſee wherefore they were erected .
The firſt of thoſe which you ſee on the right hand,
contains the ſad remains of a general officer, who, like
another Agamemnon, at his return from the army, found
an Ægiſthus in his houſe. In the ſecond is a young ca
valier of a noble family, who, deſigning to New to his
miſtreſs his addreſs and vigour at a bull fealt, was cru
elly torn to pieces by one of thoſe creatures . And in
the third lies an old prelate, too ſoon hurried out of the
world by making his will in perfect health , and reading
it to his domeftics, to whom , like a good matter, he
had bequeathed legacies . But his cook was too much
in haſte for his .
In the fourth mauſoleum reſts the body of a courtier,
who never gave himſelf any trouble but to make his
court. For fixty years he was every day ſeen at the levée,
dinner, and ſupper of the king, who loaded him with
favours as the reward of his affiduity. But really, ſaid
Don Cleofas, was this man good for any thing elſe ?
For no kind of thing, anſwered the devil : he was lavilh
of his offers of ſervice, but never in his life - time kept his
word . The wretch ! replied Leandro. Were all iuper .
M fluous
 134 THE DEVIL
fluous members to be retrenched from civil fociety, this
fort of courtiers ought to be the firſt.
The fifth tomb , purſued Aſmodeus, contains the
mortal remains of a nobleman , whoſe zeal for his coun
try's good, and his ſovereign's glory, was ever upper .
His whole life was ſpent in embaſſies
moſt at his heart .
to Rome, France , England, and Portugal ; and he to
fairly ruined himſelf by them, that, when he died , he
had not enough to bury him : but the king, to reward
his ſervices, was at that expence .
Let us go on to thoſe on the other ſide. The firſt is
the ſepulchre of a conſiderabletrader, who left his children
an immenſe fortune, but, for fear their wealth might
make them forget their riſe, he had his name and pro
feſſion engraved upon his tomb, which his preſent de
ſcendants are not very well pleaſed with . The follow .
ing mauſoleum , which exceeds all the reſt in magnifi.
cence, is a piece looked upon with admiration by alltra
vellers. Why really, ſaid Zambullo , I think it deſerves
to be lo looked on . But I am , above all, charmed with
thoſe two figures kneeling, they ſeem ſo admirably well
finished . Whoever made them muſt have been a curi.
ous workman. But pray tell me what the perſons they
repreſent might have been in their life- time.
You ſee , replied the cripple, a duke and his wife: he
was groom of the ſtole, and filled his poſt with great
reputation , and his wife lived in a ſtridt devotion . I
muſt let you into a circumſtance of this good ducheſs's
life, which Ifancy you willthink merry enough, in ore
who profeſſed ſo much devotion . It was this : The lady
had long had for her confeflor a monk of the order
de la Merci, named Don Jerome d'Aguilar, a good man ,
and very famous for his preaching, with whom ſhe was
very well pleaſed , till a Dominican appeared atMadrid ,
who by his fermons charmed all the people. This new
orator's name was father Placidio . The people flocked to
hear him , as much as to hear Cardinal Ximenes And
the court having been plealed to go to one of his fermons,
him
upon his great reputation, was better pleated withOur
than the city.
 UPON TWO STICKS . 135
Our ducheſs at firſt made it a point of honour to hold
out againſt common fame, and to reſist the curioſity
that inclined her to go , and be herſelf the judge of fa
ther Placidio's eloquence; and the behaved in this man
ner , to lhew her director, that, like a penitent , who was
delicate and concerned for her confeſſor, ſhe had a fhare
in thoſe fentiments of anger and jealouſy which this new
comer might have given him . Yet there was no polli
bility for her always to hold out againſt him . The
Dominican made ſo much noile in the city , that at latt
Die yielded to the temptation of ſeeing him ; and did
fee him , heard him preach, liked him , followed him ;
and at laſt the little inconſtant creature formed the fol
lowing deſign, in order to make him her confeſſor.
But her firit ſtep was to get rid of her former, and
this was not very eaſy ; for a ſpiritual guide is not to
be left like a lover. A devotee would not willingly paſs
for fickle , nor loſe the eſteem of the director ſhe is aban
doning. What then does our duchets, think you ? She
goes to Don Jerome, and tells him with as melancholy
an air as if the had been really concerned : Father, ſays
the, I am diſtracted ; I am inexpreffihly amazed, amict
ed, and perplexed in my mind. What is the matter
then, Madam ? anſwered d’Aguilar. Ah, would you
believe it ? replied the ; my huſband, who always re
poſed an intire confidence in my virtue , after ſeeing me
lo long under your direction , without thewing the least
unealinels at my conduct , is all of a ſudden grown ſui
picious and jealous, and will not ſuffer you to be any
longer my confeffor. Did you ever hear of ſuch a whim ?
I told him he not only affronted me, but likewiſe a man
of ſtrict piety , and one who was free from the tyranny
of the paſſions ; but all in vain, I only increaled his
miftrult by taking your part..
Don Jerome, notwithitanding all his good ſenſe, gave
into this ſtory . Indeed, ſhe had told it with an air that
would have deceived the whole world. Though he was
forry and vexed to lofe a penitent of fuch importance,
he however exhorted her to obey her huſband's will :
M 2 but
 136 THE DEVIL

but his Reverence's eyes were opened, and he diſcover .

ed the trick, upon hearing the lady had choſen father
Placidio for her confeſſor . Next to this duke and his
cunning ſpouſe, continued the devil, a plainer tomb
cunceals the ridiculous conjunction of an old dean of the
council of the Indies and his young wife. This old
fellow in his grand climacteric married a girl of twenty :
he had two children by a former wife , and was juſt
ready to have ſigned their ruin , when an apoplexy car
ried him off: and their mother-in-law, four andtwenty
hours after, died with vexation that he did not die three
days later.
We are now at the moſt facred monument in this
church. The Spaniards have as much veneration for
it as the Romans had for that of Romulus. What
great man is it whoſe aſhes lie there ? faid Leandro Pe
rez .
A firit miniſter of the court of Spain, anſwered
Aſmodeus. Never will the kingdom perhaps enjoy his
equal. The king threw all thecare of the government
upon this great man, who ſo well diſcharged his truit,
that both the king and his ſubjects were very well pleaſed
with him . The ſtate , under his adminiſtration , was
always in a flouriſhing condition, and the people happy.
To conclude, this able miniſter was a man of great re
ligion and humanity : yet, for all he had no crime to
charge himſelf with on his death -bed , he could not
help trembling to think of the tickliſh poít he had
been in .
A little beyond this minifter, whoſe loſs deſerves ta
be for ever regretted, you may diſtinguish , up in a
corner, a black marble ſtone fixed to one of the pillars.
Shall I open you the grave under it, and ſhew you the
remains of a citizen's daughter, that died in the flower
of her age, and whoſe beauty charmed all eyes that be
keld her? Yet ſhe is now nothing but duit; though ,
whilſt living, ſhe was ſo lovely, that her father was
under continual uneaſineſs left ſome lover Mould run
away with her ; and , had the lived a little longer, ſuch
a thing might have happened . Three cavaliers, who
idolized
 UPON TWO STICKS . 137
idolized her, were not to be comforted at the loss of
her, and all killed themſelves to thew their de .
fpair. Their tragical Rory is written in letters of gold
on that marble ſtone, with three ſmall figures reprelent
ing the three deſpairing lovers, who are going to make
an end of themſelves . One of them is ſwallowing a
glafs of poiſon , the ſecond falls upon his ſword, and
the third is putting a cord about his neck , in order to
.
hang himſelf. The dæmon ſeeing the ſtudent laugh
here very heartily, and pleale himſelf mightily with the
: fight of the girl's epitaph being adorned with thoſe three
figures, ſaid to him , Since this fancy to delights you , I
can hardly ſoi bear carrying you this inſtant to the banks
of the Tagus, in order to ſew you a dramatic writer's
monument, which he had built in a church at a village
near Almaraz, whither he retired after leading a long
and merry life at Madrid . This author had furniſhed
the play . houſe with ſeveralcomedies full of bold ſmutty
images ; but repenting before he died, and reſolving to
atone for the ſcandal they had given, he ordered a fort
of funeral pile to be engraved upon his tomb, made of
books repreſenting tome of the pieces he had written ,
and modeſty appears ſetting fire to them with a lighted
torch .
Beſide the dead interred in thoſe tombs I have ſhewed
you , there are a vaſt number of others buried in a very
plain manner . I fee all their ghosts wandering about,
continually walking to and fro by each other, without
diſturbing the profound filence that reigns in that holy
place. They do not indeed diſcourſe together, but,
notwithſtanding they are filent, I read all their thoughts,
What a mortification is it to me, cried Don Cleofas,
not to be able to enjoy the pleaſure of ſeeing them as
you do ! I can give you that fatisfaction, faid Alino
deus , with the greateſt eale. At the ſame time the
dæmon -laid his hands on his eyes , and, by a deluſion ,
made him ſee a great number of phantoms cloathed in
white.
At the apparitions of ſo many ſpestres, Zambullo
M 3 Muddered .
 138 THE DEVIL

ſhuddered. How ! ſaid the devil, do you ſhake? Are

you afraid of theſe ghoſts ? Do not let their dreſs ſcare
you ; accuſtom yourſelf to it betimes, for it is what you
muſt wear in your turn, and is the livery of the depart
ed . Take heart , then , and fear nothing. Can you
want courage now, who could bear the fight of me ?
Theſe people are not half ſo miſchievous as myſelf ? The
ſtudent, at theſe words, recalling all his courage, look
ed pretty boldly upon thoſephantoms. Obſerve theſe
ghosts attentively , ſaid the devil ; thoſe who have fu
ptrb mauſoleums are, without diſtinction, confounded
with thoſe whoſe monuments are no more than a pitiful
ccffin. That ſubordination which diſtinguiſhed them
one from the other, is now at an end . The groom of
the ſtole, and the firſt miniſter, are now no more valued
than the meaneſt citizen that is buried here. Their
grandeur is over with their life, like that of an hero of
the ſtage, upon the concluſion of the play.
I obterve one thing, ſaid Leandro ; a melancholy
ghoſt walking by himſelf, ſeeming to thun the company
of his brethren . Say, rather, that the reſt fhun his,
anſwered the dæmon , and you will be right. Do you
know what that ghoſt is ? Why, that of an old notary,
who had the vanity to be buried in a leaden coffin ;
which has ſo ſhocked all the plebeian ghoſts, whoſe bo .
dies were more inodeſtly laid in the ground, that, to
mortify him , they will not fuffer his ghoſt to mix
amongſt them ? I have juſt made another remark , re
plied Don Cleofas ; two of the plantoms, as they paſ
ieri , ſtopt a moment to look at each other, and they
went on. They are, anſwered the devil, the ghoſts of
two intimate friends, one of which was a painter, and
the other a muſic maſter, a little given to drinking ,
but elſe very honeſt fellows. They died in the ſame
year ; and when they met juſt now, Itruck with the rea '
membrance of their pleaſures, they ſaid, by that me
lancholy filence, Ah! friend, our drinking days are
over .

Bleſs me ! cried the ſtudent, what is it I fee ? At

the
 UPON TWO STICKS . 139
the end of the church there are two ghoſts walking to
gether, but how ill they are matched! Their ſhape and
gait are very different. One is unreaſonably tall, and
walks with all the gravity in the world ; and the other
is very ſhort, and ſeems to be flying into the air . The
tall one, replied the cripple, is a German, who got his
death by drinking three healths with tobacco in his
glafs ; and the ſhort one a Frenchman , who (accord
ing to the civility of his nation) taking it into his head
to preſent a lady with holy water at her entrance into
the church, as he was going out of it the ſame day,
was laid fat with a blunderbuſs, as the reward of his
politeneſs.
I am , in my turn , ſaid Aſmodeus, obſerving three
remarkable ghoſts that I diſtinguiſh from amongſt the
croud , and I muſt tell you in what manner they were
ſeparated from their duft. They once informed the
pretty bodies of three actreſſes, who, in their time,
inade as nuch noiſe at Madrid , as Origo, Cytheris,
and Arbuſcula, inade at Rome in theirs ; and who, as
well as they, pofreſſed, in the greateſt perfection, the
art of diverting men in public, and ruining them in pri
yate . But mark the end of theſe three famous Spanish
actreſſes. One died ſuddenly of envy, at the pit's clap- '
ping a young actreſs at her firſt coming on the ſtage.
The other found, in exceſs of good eating and drink
ing, the intallible death that is its conſequence : And
the third , over-heating herſelf in playing the part of
a veítal virgin, miſcarried , and died of it behind the
ſcenes.
But let us leave all theſe ghoſts at peace, continued
the devil , for we have ſeen enough of them . Beſides,
I intendto preſent to your view an object that ought to
make a ſtronger impreſſion upon you, and will, by the
help of the ſame power by which I hewed you the ghoſts,
make death viſible to you. This cruel enemy of man
kind ſhall be the ſubject of your contemplation, who is
inceſſantly hovering over man, though he does not per
ceive him , and who, in the twinkling of an eye, per-
vades
 14.0 THE DEVIL

vades all the parts of the earth , and , in the fame mo.
ment, makes all the nations that inhabit it ſenſible of
the vaſt extent of his power . 7

Look towards the eaſt, ſee there he is ! A vaſt troop

of birds of ill omen fly before him with terror at their
head , and proclaim his manner by mournful and deadly
cries. His indefatigable hand is armed with a cruel
fcythe, under which iucceſſively fall all generations. On
one of his wings are painted war, peftilence , famine,
Shipwreck , confiagrations, with the reft of thoſe fad ac
cidents which every inſtant deliver him up a freſh prey .
On his other wing are to be ſeen young phyſicians tak
ing their doctor's degree in the preſence of death , who
gives them the cap, after ſwearing them never to prac
tiſe phyſic otherwiſe than it is pracliſed at this time of
day
Though Don Cleofas was pretty ſure there was no
thing real in what he ſaw , and that the devil ſhewed him
death under this form only to oblige him , yet he could
not look on it without ſhuddering. However, he pul.
led up his courage, and faid to the dæmon, Will this
frightful figure only paſs over Madrid , without leaving
fome ſigns of his paſſage ? No certainly, replied the
cripple ; he does not come hither for nothing. And it
is in your choice whether you will be witneſs of his
operations. I take you at your word , replied the ſtu
dent ; let us follow him , and ſee upon what unhappy
families his fury will tall . Alas! how many tears are
going to be thed ! Doubtleſs , antwered Almodeus, and
a great many counterfeit ones too ; for death , notwith
ftanding the horror that goes along with him , cauſes
as much joy as forrow .
Dur two ſpectators took their flight, in order to fol
low death , and obſerve him . The firſt place he en
tered was a citizen's houſe, where tlie maſter was in the
Jait extremity . He touched him with his fcythe, and
the good man expired in the midit of his family, which
immediately formed a concert of ſighs and groans. Here,
taid the dæmon , is no counterfeiting . The wife and
children
 U PON TWO STICKS . 141
children of this citizen loved him tenderly'; and beſides
they wanted himn , for he was their ſupport ; there can
be no diſſimulation in their tears . But it is quite
otherwiſe as to what paſſes in that other houſe, where
you ſee death is ſtriking an old man in bed . He is a
counſellor, who has lived miſerably and a bachelor,
to amaſs vaſt riches for three nephews , who flew to his
houſe the moment they heard he was drawing near
his end . They have played their parts extremely well ,
by the ihew ofa prodigious ſorrow . But ſee, they are
throwing off theimalk, preparing to behave as heirs,
after playing the grimace of relations, and going to
rifle every where. What heaps of gold and ſilver will
they find! Oh the pleaſure! faid one of his heirs juſt
now to the others, oh the pleaſure for nephews to have
old ſtingy uncles, that renounce all the pleaſures of
life purely that they may enjoy them ! A fine funeral
gration, really, ſaid Leandro Perez. O , upon my word,
replied the devil , there are few long- lived rich fathers
that ought to expect any other even from their own
children .
Whilſt theſe young heirs, ſwimming in joy, are in
fearch of the decealed's treaſures, death is making to
wards a fine palace, where lies a young lord, ſick of
the ſmall-pox. This lord, one of the moſt amiable
perſons of the court, isgoing to be cut off in his prime,
notwithſtanding a celebrated phyſician has him under
his care .
Obferve with what a rapidity death performs his
operations . He has already determined the fate of that
young lord's life, and is ready for another expedition .
He ſtops over a convent, goes down into one of the
cells, falls upon an honeſt friar, and cuts the thread of
a penitent and mortified life which he has led for forty
years. Death , all terror as he is, has not alarıned him ;
but, in his return, he is entering a palace which he will
fill with terror : for he is making his approaches to a li.
cenciate of quality, lately nominated to the biſhopric of
Albarazin. That prelate thinks of nothing but his
preparations
 142 THE DEVIL
preparations for going down to his dioceſe with all the
pomp and ſplendour which now -a-days are inſeparable
from princes of the church ; and death is of all things
the fartheſt from his thoughts. Yet he is juſt this mo
ment beginning his journey to the other world, where
he will arrive with as thin a train as the poor friar,
and I queſtion whether he will be ſo favourably re
ceived .
O heaven ! cried Zambullo, Death is going to paſs
over the king's palace, and I am afraid ihe barbarian
will, with one ſtroke of his fcythe, put all Spain in a
confternation. You have reaſon to tremble, ſaid the
cripple, for he has no more reſpect for kings than their
footmen ; but take courage, added he, a moment afe
ter; he has nothing to ſay at preſent to the monarch ,
but he is falling upon one of the courtiers, one of that
fort of creatures whoſe only employment is to follow
and make their court to him . They are eaſily ſpared ,
their places are ſo ſoon filled up. But, methinks, re
plied the ſtudent, Death is not content with taking off
that courtier, he makes another pauſe on the queen's
apartment . He does ſo, anſwered the devil, and to do
a very good work too : he is going to Nit the wind-pipe
of a wicked old woman , whole pleaſure lies in fowing
diviſion in the queen's court, and who fell fick with
vexation to ſee two ladies, whom ſhe had ſet together
by the ears, ſincerely reconciled .
You are going to hear ſome very piercing cries, con,
tinued the dæmon . Death has juit entered that fine
houſe on the left hand, where is going to be acted one
of the moſt melancholy ſcenes that ever was repreſented
on the theatre of the world . Fix your eyes on that de,
plorable ſpectacle. Really, ſaid Don Cleofas, I do fee
a lady thattears herhair , and ſtruggles in her woman's
arms . Why does ſhe appear fo afflicted ? Look into
the oppoſite apartment, anſwered the devil, and you
will ſee the cauſe. Obſerve the man laid on that ſtately
-bed ; it is her huſband who is expiring, and theis in
conſolable. Their ſtory is very moving, and deſerves
to
 UPON TWO STICKS . 143
to be written. I have a great mind to tell it you .
You will oblige me, replied Leandro : I am not leſs
ſenſible of objects of compaſſion, than diverted by thoſe
of ridicule. It is ſomewhat long, anſwered Aſmodeus,
but too moving to be tireſome. Beſides, to tell you
the truth , as much a devil as I am , I am tired with
running after Death ; ſo let us , leave him in ſearch oť
freſh victims . With all my heart , l'aid Zambullo. I
Mould be better pleaſed to hear this hiftory, which you
have promiſed to entertain me with , than thus to ſee
thewhole race of man periſhing one after another. Upon
'which the devil having let the Itudent down upon one of
the higheſt houſes in Alcala -itreet, began the relation
in thele terms .
CHAP . XIV.
The Power of Friendſhip.
A STORY ,

A Young gentleman of Toledo,accompanied by his

valetde chambre, travelled by long journies from
his native country, to avoid the conſequences of a tra
gical adventure.' He was too leagues from Valencia,
when at the entry of a wood he met a lady deſcending
haſtily out of her coach. No veil covered her face, in
which beauty thone in perfection . This charming lady
ſeemed ſo diſturbed and diſtracted , that the cavalier,
concluding me wanted aſſiſtance, did not fail to tender
her that of his courage . - Generous unknowrı, ſaid the
lady, 1 embrace your offer ; Heaven ſeems to have ſent
you hither to my aſſiſtance, and to avert the misfortune
which I dread. ' Two gentlemen are met upon an ap
pointment in this wood ; I this minute ſaw them enter .
I can tell you no more ; but if you pleali , follow me ,
and you mall know the whole . At the end of theſe
words the flew into the wood ; and the Toledan Jeav
ing the care of his horfe to his man, made after her as
fait as he could .
They had ſcarce advanced an hundred paces before
they heard the claſhing of lwords, and ſoon diſcovered
two men furiouſly engaged . The Toledan ran to part
them ;
 144 THE DEVIL
them ; which having done, partly by force, and partly
by intreaty, he aſked them the cauſe of their quarrel.
Brave unknown, laid one of the cavaliers, my name is Don
Fadrique de Mondoca, and my adverſary is Don Alvaro
Ponce : We both love Donna Theodora, the lady which
you accompany. She has always ſlighted our addreſſes,
and; notwithſtanding all the tenderneſs that love could
ſuggeſt to pleaſe her, the obdurate fair would never
treat us better. As for me, I deſigned to continue her
flave in ſpite of her indifference; but my rival, inſtead
of taking the ſamereſolution , ſent me a challenge. It
is true, interrupted Don Alvaro, I concluded that, if
I had no rival , Donna Theodora, might look on me ;
wherefore I endeavoured to take away the life of Don
Fradique, to rid myſelf of a man that oppoſed my
felicity .
Gentlemen, ſaid the Toledan, I do not approveyour
duelling ; it is an affront to Donna Theodora. It will
foon bepubliſhed in Valencia that you have fought for
her ; and your iniſtreſs's honour ought to be dearer to
you than your own repoſe and lives. Beſides, what
advantage could the vanquiſher reap by his victory ?
After having expoſed his miſtreſs's reputation , could
he expect the would look on him with a favourable eye ?
Take my advice, make a more noble effort on your
ſelves, more worthy the names that you hear : Con
quer theſe furious tranſports, and, by an inviolable
oath, engage yourſelves to fubfcribe the articles of ac
commodation which I ſhall propoſe to you . Your
quarrel ſhall end without bloodſhed .
Hah ! how ? ſaid Don Alvaro. This lady muſt de
clare, replied the Toledan, whether ſhe will chuſe Don
Fadrique or you ; and the unhappy lover, far from arm
ing againſt his rival, muſt leave him the field . I con .
fent, Said Don Alvaro, and ſwear by all that is moſt
ſacred , to quieſce in her choice, whether the deter
mine in favour of me or my rival ; for even that pre
ference will be more fupportable than the miſerable un
certainty under which I now labour. And as for me,
faid
 UPON TWO STICKS . 145
faid Don Fadrique, in his turn , I call heaven to wit .
neſs , that if the divine object which I adore does not
pronounce in my favour, I will remove myſelf far from
her charms ; and if I cannot forget her, at leaſt will
never ſee her more .
The Toledan then turning towards Theodora, Ma
dam , ſaid he, it is in your power, with one word, to
diſarm theſe two rivals ; you need only declare whoſe
conftancy of the two you pleaſe to reward. Sir, an
fwered the lady, ſearch for another expedient to recon
cile them. Why ſhould I betheſacrifice oftheiragree
ment ? I really value Don Fadrique and Don Alvaro,
but I do not love either of them ; and it is unjuſt, that,
to prevent the ſtain which their duelling might caſt upon
my honour, I ſhould be obliged to give thoſe hopes
which my heart will never own . It is too late to dir
ſemble , Madam , replied the Toledan ; you muſt declare
yourſelf. Both theſe cavaliers are equally handſome,
and I am certain you have more inclination for one than
the other : I refer myſelf to the mortal agony in which
I ſaw you .
You miſinterpret that fright, replied Donna Theodora .
The loſs of either of theſe gentlemen would very fenfi
bly touch me, and I ſhould never give over blaming
myſelf on that account, though I am only the innocent
caufe ; but if you ſaw me alarmed, it was for my own
reputation, which I knew would unavoidably ſuffer in
the diſpute.
Don Alvaro Ponce, who was naturally very fierce,
at theſe words loſt all patience : It is enough, ſaid he,
very warmly ; fince the lady refuſes to end this diſpute
amicably, the ſword fhall immediately decide it ; upon
which heaimed a paſs atDon Fadrique ,who was pre
pared to receive it. The lady, rather affrighted by his
action, than determined by her inclination , amazed ,
cried out, Hold, Gentlemen , I will ſatisfy you ; if :
there be no other way to end an engagement in which
my honour is concerned, I declare that I give the pre
ference to Don Fadrique de Mendoça. She had no
N ſooner
 146 THE DEVIL

ſooner ended theſe words, than the diſcarded Ponce,

without uttering one ſyllable, immediately looſened his
horſe, which was faſtened to a tree, and retired caſting
very angry looks at his rival and miſtreſs. The happy
Mendoça, on the contrary, was overwhelmed with joy :
ſometimes he fell on his knees before Donna Theodora ,
at others he embraced the Toledan, and was utterly
at a loſs for expreſſions ſtrong enough to repreſent the
fentiments of gratitude with which he was thoroughly
touched . In the mean time the lady returning to her
natural temper, after the departure of Alvaro, began
to reflect how anxious it would prove to her to ſuffer
the addreſſes of a lover, whoſe merit though ſhe really
valued , yet withal for whom her heart had never been
prepoſſeſſedwith any the leaſt tenderneſs. Don Fadrique,
ſaid ſhe, I hope you will not abuſe the preference
which I have given you ; you owe it to the neceſſity to
which I was reduced, to declare betwixt you and Don
Alvaro ; not but that I valueyou much more than him ,
and I know very well he has not all the good qualities
which you have ; and I Mall but do you juſtice by ſay
ing, that you are the moſt complete gentleman in Va
lencia. I will farther own to you , that the addreſſes
of ſuch a man as you ght very well fatter a woman's
vanity ; but how honourable foever it may be to me,
I muſt tell you, I look upon them with ſo little reliſh,
that you are really to be pitied for loving mefo tenderly
as you appear to do. I will not yet deprive you of
all hopes of touching my heart. My indifference, per
haps, may be only the effect of the yet remaining grief
which ſeized me a year fince for the loſs of Don Andrea
de Cifuentes , my huſband. Though we did not live long
together, and he was of an advanced age when my pa.
rents, dazzled with his riches , obliged me to marry
him , yet was I very much afflicted at his death . Í
ſhall bemoan it all my life . And , indeed , did he not
deſerve my ſorrow ? He was not like thoſe four jealous
old men, who, never being able to perſuade themſelves
that a woman may be diſcreet enough to excuſe their
weakneſs,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 147
weakneſs, continually watch all her motions, or entruſt
that charge to a duenna devoted to their tyranny . Alas !
he had ſuch an entire confidence in my virtue, as even
a young huſband , though adored, is ſcarce capable of.
Beſides, his compliance was endleſs; I dare venture to
ſay, that his whole care was to gratify me in all things
which I ſeemed to deſire . Such was Don Andrea de
Cifuentes ; you may then, Mendoca, eaſily judge, that
it is not eaſy to forget a man of ſuch an agreeable cha
racter. He is always preſent in my thoughts, which
does not a little contribute, doubtleſs, to turn them from
fixing on whatever is done to pleaſe me.
Don Fadrique could not help interrupting Donna
Theodora here. Ah ! Madam , cried he, how happy
am I to learn fromyour own mouth , that your former
deſpiſing my addreſles did not reſult from any averfion
to my perſon ! I hope you will one day yield to my
conſtancy. It will not be my fault if your paſſion does
not ſucceed, replied the lady , ſince I allow you to viſit.
me, and ſometimes mention your love. Endeavour to
make me reliſh your endearments ; uſe all your arts to
make melove you. I will never conceal from you any
favourable ſentiments which I may have for you ; but
if, after all your efforts, you cannot compaſs your end ,
remember, Mendoca, that you will have no reaſon to
blame me .
Don Fadrique would have replied, but had not time,
by reaſon the lady took the Toledan by the hand , and
nimbly turned towards her equipage. He looſened his
horſe, which was tied to a tree, and leading him by
the bridle, followed Donna Theodora, who mounted
her chariot with as much precipitation as ſhe had bee
fore deſcended from it, though the reaſon was utterly
different. The Toledan and he accompanied her on
horſeback to the gates of Valencia, where they parted .
She went to her own houſe, and Don Fadrique carried
the Toledan to his .
He made him fit down , and , after having well en
tertained him , he aſked him
N2
what particularly brought
hi m
 14.8 THE DEVIL

him to Valencia, and whether he thuught of making a

long ſtay. I Mall continue here as little while as
1
poſtible, anſwered the Toledan ; I came this way only to
go towards the ſea - ſide, to embark in the very firſt
veſſel which fails from the coaſt of Spain, for I care not
much in what part of the world I finiil the courſe of
an unfortunate life, provided it be far diftant from theſe
fatal climates .
What is it can ſet you thus us againſt your country,
replied Don Fadrique, ſurpriſed at the Toledan's dis
courſe, and make you hate what all men naturally love ?
After what has happened, returned the Toledan , my
country is odious to me, and I aim at nothing in the
world but to quit it for ever. Ah ! Sir, ſaid Mendoça ,
touched with a compaſſionate concern, how impatient I
am to know your misfortunes ! If I cannot relieve your
pains, I will ſhare them with you. The air of your
face has prepoffefſed me in your favour; your deport
ment charms me, and I find myſelf ftrenuouſly intereſted
in your fortune.
It is the greateſt conſolation which I am capable of
receiving, Don Fadrique, anſwered the Toledan ; and
in ſome meaſure to acknowledge the affection which
you have diſcovered for me, I muſt alſo tell you , that
when I ſaw you with Don Alvaro Ponce, my inclina
tions declared on your ſide. An internal motion ,
which I was never before ſenſible of at the firſt ſight of
any perſon , made me fear leſt Donna Theodora ſhould
prefer your rival, and I was touched with joy when
The determined in your favour. You have ſince lo much
ſtrengthened that firſt impreſſion, that, inſtead of hiding
my uneaſineſſes, I earneitly deſire to lay them before
you, and find a ſecret pleaſure in the unbofoming my
ſelf to you . Attend then to the relation of my misa
fortunes .
Toledo is my native place, and Don Juan de Zarate
my name . Almoſt from my infancy I loft thoſe who
gave me life, fo that I began betimes to enjoy an annual
eſtate of four thouſand ducats, which they left me. My
heart
 UPCN TWO STICKS .
149
heart being at my own diſpoſal, and believing myſelf
rich enough not to conſult any thing but my own incli
nation in the choice of a wife, I married a virgin per
fectly beautiful, without reflecting on the meanneſs of
her fortune, or the inequality of our conditions. I was
charmed with my felicity ; and to give thegreater reliſh
to the pleaſure of poffeffing the perſon loved, a few days
after my marriage I carried her to an eſtate which I have
ſome leagues from Toledo . We lived there in a moſt
agreeable union , when the Duke of Naxera, whoſe feat
is near my eſtate, came one day, when he was hunting,
to refreſh himſelf at my houſe . He law my wife, and
fell in love with her. I ſuſpected it at leaſt ; but what
fully convinced me of it was, that he immediately made
the moſt preſſing inſtances in the world to obtain my
friendſhip, which he never before ſet any value on . He
introduced me to his hunting acquaintance, forced me
to accept of ſeveral preſents, and made me ſeveral offers
of his ſervice.
Being immediately alarmed byhis paſſion, I intended
to return to Toledo with my wite ; and doubtleſs that
thoughtwas inſpired by heaven. For had I wholly de
prived the duke of all opportunities of ſeeing her, I
thould have avoided all thoſe misfortunes which have
fallen on me ; but my confident reliance on her virtue
ſecured me. I thought it impoſſible for a woman I had
married without a fortune, and raiſed from a low con
dition, to be fo ungrateful as to forget myfavours.
Alas, what a wrong judgment did I make ! Ambition
and vanity , thoſe two vices natural to the ſex, were her
greateſt faults . As ſoon as the duke had got an oppor .
tunity to diſcover his ſentiments, ſhe was ſecretly pleaſed
at {uch an important conqueſt. The paſſion of a man
adorned with the title of his Excellence , tickled her pride,
and filled her mind with extravagant chimeras ; whence
The began to value him more, and me leſs ; and all that
I had done for her, infiead of exciting her gratitude,
ſerved only to render me contemptible in her eyes. She
looked on me as a huſband unworthy of her beauty, and
N 3 fancied
 150 THE DEVIL

fancied that if this grandee, who was now conquered by

her charms, had ſeen her before her being a wite, he had
certainly married her. Intoxicated by thoſe fooliſh ima
ginations, and ſeduced by ſeveral engaging preſents, ſhe
yielded to the Duke's private and preſſing importunities.
They frequently wrote to each other, without my ever
ſuſpecting their correſpondence; but at laſt I was un.
happy enough to be cured of that blindneſs. One day
returning from hunting ſooner than uſual, I went into
my wife's apartment, who did not expect me ſo ſoon .
She had juſt received a billet from the duke, which ſhe
was preparing to anſwer. She could not hide her un
eaſineſs from me. I trembled , and finding pen, ink
and paper ready on a table, I concluded ſhe had betrayed
me. I preſſed her to ſhew me what ſhe was writing ;
which the fo abſolutely denied , that I was obliged to uſe
ſome violence to ſatisfy my jealous curioſity ; and, not
withſtanding all her reſiſtance, I tore from her boſom a
letter containing theſe words :
SHALL Ifor ever languiſbin expe&tation of a ſecondinter
view ? How cruel are you , to give me tbe moſt ckarming
bopes, and thus long delay the fulfilling them ! Don Juan goes
every daya hunting, or to Toledo ;pould we not make uſe of
theſe opportunities ? Have mure regard to the violent flames
which conſume me . Pity me, Madam ; confider, that if it be
a pleaſure to obtain our defires, it is a torment to wait long
for the enjoyment of them .
I could not i'tad out this letter without the utmoft
tranſports of rage. I clapped my hand on my dagger,
and at firſt was tempted to take the life of that faithleſs
wife who had deprived me of my honour ; but conſider .
ing that would be only to revenge myſelf by halves, and
that my reſentmentrequired yet another victim , I con
quered my rage, diſſembled , and ſaid to my wife, with
the leaſt diſturbance poſſible, Madam , you were to blame
to hearken to the Duke ; the luſtre of his high quality
ought not to have dazzled your eyes ; but young women
are fond of pompous titles. I am willing to believe that
this is all you have yet proceeded to, and that you have
not yıt done me the leaſt injury ; wherefore I excuſe
your
 UPON TWO STICKS 131
your indiſcretion, provided you will return to your duty,
and, becoming truly ſenſible of my tenderneſs, you will
think of nothing more than to delerve it. After theſe
words I retired to my apartment, as well to leave her to
recover herſelf, as becauſe I wanted ſome retirement to
cool my rage, which had ſufficiently inflamed me. If I
could not recover my temper, I at lealt put on a very
eaſy air for two days ; and on the third, pretending bu
ſineſs of the laſt conſequence at Toledo, I told my wife
that I was obliged to leave her for ſome time , and in
treated her to take care of her honour during my abſence .
I left her ; but, inſtead of going to Toledo, I private
ly returned home at the beginning of the night, and
concealed myſelf in the chamber of a faithful domeſtic,
where I could ſee whoever entered my houſe. I did not
doubt of the Duke's being informed of my departure,
and concluded he would not miſs the opportunity:: I
hoped to ſurprize them together,and promiſed myſelf an
entire vengeance. But I was deceived in my expecta
tion . For, inſtead of finding my houſe preparing for
the reception of a lover, I ſaw , on the contrary, the
doors were ſhut in time : and three days paſſing without
the appearance of the duke, or even any of his fer
vants, I perſuaded myſelf that my ſpouſe reperited her
fault,and had broke off all communication with the duke.
Prepoſſeſſed with this opinion, I lost all deſire of revenge,
and, yielding to the emotion of a love which angry re
ſentment had ſuſpended , I flew to my wife's apartment,
embraced her with tranſporting raptures, and ſaid , Ma
dam, I reſtore you all my eſteem and tenderneſs. I
have not been at Toledo : I pretended that journey
only to try you . You ought to pardon a ſnare laid by
a huſband, whoſe jealouſy was not groundleſs. I fear
‫وم‬ ed that your mind , ſeduced by ſplendid illuſions, was
not capable of undeceiving itſelf ; but, thanks to Hea
ven, you are ſenſible of your error, and , I hope, nothing
i일 for the future will ever diſturb our good agreement.
My wife ſeemed touched at theſe words ; and letting
fall fome, tears, How unhappy am I, ſaid dic, to have
given
 152 THE DEVIL
given you reaſon to ſuſpect my virtue ! Though I have
to the laſt degree abhorred that fault which fo juítly ir
ritated you againſt me, my eyes havein vain kept from
cloſing theſe two days to make way for my tears ; yet
for all my grief, and all my remorſe, I ſhall never regain
your entire confidence in me. I reſtore it to you, Ma
dam,perfectly foftened by the ſorrow which ſhe expreſſed ;
I will no more remember what is paſt, ſince you ſo fin
cerely repent. Accordingly from that very moment I
had the ſame regard for her as before, and began again to
taſte thoſepleaſures which had been ſo cruelly inter
rupted. The relish of them was heightened ; for my
wile, as though the reſolved to efface out of my mind all
the marks of the injury ſhe had done, was much more
ſolicitous to pleaſe me than ever. I found her carefles
more tender, and almoſt rejoiced at the diſcontent which
had occafioned this happy change .
I then fell ill ; and though my diſeaſe was not dange
rous, it is not to be imagined what fears my wife diſ
covered . She ſtaid all day with me ; and in the night,
I being in a ſeparate apartment, the conſtantly came two
or three times to ſatisfy herſelf how I was. She ſeemed
extremely ſolicitous to preventall the affiftance I wanted,
and her life ſeemed inſeparable from mine. On my fide,
I was ſo ſenſible of all the marks of tenderneſs which the
gave me, that I could never ſufficiently teſtify my ac
knowledgment of them to her : and yet,Mendoça , they
were not ſo fincere as I imagined . One night,when I
began to recover, my valet de chambre waked me. My
Lord, ſaid he, very much confuſed , I am obliged to diſ
turb your repoſe; but am too faithful to conceal what
is now acting in your houſe. The duke of Naxera is
with my lady. I was fo ſtupified at this news, that for
ſome time I looked on the fellow , without being able to
ſpeak. The more I thoughtofwhat hetold me, the leſs I
believed it . No, Fabio , cried I , it is impoſſible that my
wife ſhould be guilty of ſuch a horrid perfidious crime!
You are notſureof what you ſay. My Lord, replied
Fabio, would to God it were poſsible forme to doubtit of
!
 UPON TWO STICKS . 153
it ! but I am not to be deceived by falſe appearances.
Ever ſince your indiſpoſition , I have ſuſpected the Duke's
being every night introduced into my lady's apartment.
I hid myſelf to remove my ſuſpicions, and am but too
well convinced that they are juſt.
At theſe words I rofe, distracted withrage ; took my
night-gown and (word , and made directly to my wife's
apartment , accompanied by Fabio, who lighted me. At
the noiſe of our entrance, the duke, who lat on the bed ,
roſe, and catching a piſtol from his girdle, fired at me;
but with ſuch confuſion, and precipitation ,that he miſſed
me . I then violently ruſhed upon him, and ran him
into the heart ; after which I addreſſed myſelf to my
wife, who was rather dead than alive : And thou , ſaid I,
infamous wretch, receive the reward of all thy falſehoods.
At theſe words, I plunged my ſword, yet reeking in her
lover's blocd, into her breaſt.
I condemn my paſſion , Don Fadrique, and own I
might have ſufficiently puniſhed a perfidious wife, with
out taking away her life: but what man could keep his
reaſon entire in ſuch a conjuncture ? Paint to yourſelf
all the demonſtrations of concern this falſe woman fhewed
at my illneſs ; repreſent all the circumſtances , the enor
mity of the treaſon, and judge whether a huſband, fired
with a juſt rage, ought not to be pardoned her death,
To conclude lo tragical a ſtory in a few words, after
having fully ſatiated my vengeance, I dreſſed myſelf
with the utmoſt halte , concluding I had no time to lole,
that the duke's relations would hunt for me all over
Spain, and that the intereſt of myfamily not being ſuf
ficient to balance that of theirs , I thould never be ſate till
gotten into a foreign country. Wherefore I telected two
of mybeſt horſes, and , with all the money and jewels I
had leftmy houſe before day ,followed by the ſervant who
had ſo well approved his fidelity. I choſe the road to
Valencia, deſigning to put myſelf on board the firſt veſſel
bound for Italy : and this day, paffing near the wood
where you were, I met Donna Theodora, who entreated
me to follow her, and endeavour to part you .
After
 154 THE DEVIL
After the Toledan had done, Don Fadrique faid ,
Don Juan , your revenge on the duke ofNaxera wasjuſt;
do not therefore diſturb yourſelf at the purſuit his re
lations may make. You ſhall, if you pleaſe, ſtay with
me, until an occaſion offers to embark for Italy . My
uncle is governor of Valencia , and you will be ſafer here
than any where elſe, and will beſides be with aman who
deſires for the future to be engaged to you by the ſtricteſt
ties of friendlip. Zarate anſwered Mendoca in terms
full ofacknowledginent, and accepted the offered refuge.
The power of ſympathy is very ſurpriſing, Don Cleo
fas, purſued Aſmodeus ; theſe twoyoung cavaliers were
touched with ſuch a mutual affection for one another,
that in a few days it created a friendſhip betwixt them,
as entire as that of Oreſtes and Pylades. Beſides the
equality of their merit, there was ſuch a harmony in
their humours, that whatever pleaſed Don Fadrique, the
other could not diſlike. They both made up but one
character, and they were made to love one another.
Don Fadrique, who, above all, was enchanted with the
deportment of his friend, could not forbear boaſting of
it every moment to Theodora . They both frequently
viſited thatlady, who continually looked on Mendoça's
addreſſes with indifference ; at which he was extremely
mortified, and complained of it to his friend, who told
him, to comfort him , that the moſt infenſible women fuf
fer themſelves to be touched at laſt : that nothing was
wanting to lovers, but patience enough to wait the fa
vourable time : that he ſhould not be diſcouraged ; that
his lady, foon or late, would regard his ſervices. This
advice , though founded on experience, did not encourage
the faint-hearted Mendoça, who very much feared he
ſhould never be able to pleaſe the widow Cifuentes ; and
this fear threw him into fuch a languiſhing condition as
excited pity in Don Juan, who was ſoon after in a more
deplorable ſtate himielf.
What reaſon foever the Toledan had to be diſguſted
againſt the ſex, aiter the horrible falſity of his wife, yet
he could not help loving Donna Theodora ; though he
was
 UPON TWO STICKS . 155
was ſo far from abandoning himſelf to a paſſion which
injured his friend, that he thought of nothing but ſtrug
gling againſt it : and fully perſuaded that he could not
better conquer it, than by keeping at a diſtance from
thoſe eyes which occaſioned it, he reſolved never to ſee
the widow Cifuentes again . Accordingly, whenever
Mendoca would have carried him with him , he always
found ſome pretext to excuſe it. But Don Fadrique
never made one viſit to the lady, that ſhe did not aſk
why Don Juan had left off coming thither. One day,
when the put that queſtion, he anſwered, ſmiling, that his
friend had his reaſons. Hah ! what reaſons can he have
to avoid me ? ſaid Donna Theodora . Madam, returned
Mendoça , when I deſired him to come along with me
this day, and expreſſed ſome ſurprize at his refuſal, he
told me in confidence, what I am obliged to reveal to you,
to excuſe him ; it was, that he had engaged a miſ
treſs, and that not having long to ſtay in this city, his
moments were precious .
I cannot be ſatisfied with this excuſe, replied the wi.
dow Cifuentes, bluſhing ; lovers are not allowed to aban.
don their friends. Don Fadrique, obierving Donna
Theodora's changing colour, thought it only owing to
her vanity, and believed that ſpite to ſee herſelf neglected
was the cauſe of her bluſhing. But his conjecture was
wrong : a more violent impulſe than that of vanity oc
cafioned the emotions which ſhe betrayed ; but for fear of
his diſcovering her ſentiments, the turned the diſcourſe,
and affected a gaity during the reſt of their converſation,
which would have thrown the blame on his diſcernment,
if he had not ſoon perceived the alteration .
As ſoon as the widow Cifuentes was alone, ſhe turned
extremely thoughtful . She then felt the utmoſt force of
her paſſion for Don Juan ; and imagining herſelf worſe
recompenced than ſhe really was, How cruel and unjuſt,
faid fie fighing, is that Power which delights to infiame
diſagreeing hearts ! I do not love Don Fadrique, and he
adores me: and I burn for Don Juan , whole thoughts
are taken up by another ! Ah ! Mendoça, no more re
proach
 THE DEVIL
156
proach my indifference ; thy friend has ſuſficiently re 3

venged it.
At theſe words, ſtruck with a quick ſenſe of grief and 1

jealouſy, ſhe dropped ſeveral tears ; but hope, which al

fuages lovers' pains, ſoon repreſented various flattering
images to hermind. It ſuggeſted to her that perhaps her
rivalmight not be dangerous: that Don Juan might not
be leſs ſeized by her charms, than amuſed by her favours,
and that it was no hard matter to get rid of ſuch feeble
ties . But, to enable her to judge herſelf what the ought
to believeof the Toledan, ſhe was reſolved to ſpeak with
him in private. She ſent for him ; he came; and when
they were alone, Donna Theodora thus began :
I never thought that love could make a well -bred man
forget the complaiſance due to the ladies ; and yet, Don
Juan, ſince you have been in love, you avoid my houſe,
for which I think I have reaſon to complain : But I am
yet willing to believe that it is not of your own accord
that you fly me ; perhaps your lady may have forbid
you ſeeingme. Confeſs'itto me, Don Juan, and I will
excuſe it. I know lovers' actions are not free; they dare
not diſobey their miſtreſſes.
Madam, anſwered the Toledan , I grant that my con
duct ought to ſurpriſe you ; but let me beg of you not
to put me to juſtify it. Satisfy yourſelf with knowing
that I have reaſon to avoid you. Whatever that reaſon
may be, replied Donna Theodora, with the utmoſt emo
tion , I inſiſt upon it you tell me . Well , Madam, re
plied Don Juan, you muſt be obeyed ; but I ſhall not
pity you, if you hear more than you deſire to know.
Don Fadrique, adds he, has related to you the adven
ture which obliged me to quit Caſtile. In my travelling
to Toledo, with a heart full of reſentment against wo
men, I defied the whole ſex ever to ſurpriſe me. With
this fierce diſpoſition I approached Valencia ; I met
you , and what, perhaps, no otherman has been able
to do, I ſuſtained the firſt ſight of you without being
moved ; I even looked on you again afterwards with im
punity ; but, alas, how dear I paid for a few reſolute
days !
 UPON TWO STICKS .
157
days ! You at laſt conquered my reſiſtance ; your
beauty, wit, and charms, have exerciſed themſelves on
a rebel . In a word, I have all the love for you which
you are capable of inſpiring. This, Madam, is what
keeps me from you . The lady, whom you were told
engroſſed my thoughts, is but an imaginary one ; and
I only feigned the making Mendoça my confident, to
prevent any ſuſpicions I might raiſe'in him by ny re
fuſal to viſit you along with him .
This unexpected diſcourſe filled Donna Theodora
with ſuch an extraordinary joy, that ſhe could not help
diſcovering it. It is indeed true fe did not concern
herſelf at all to hide it ; but, inſtead of arming her eyes
with ſome fort of ſeverity, looking on the Toledan with
a very tender air, he ſaid, You have told me your fee
cret, Don Juan , and I will alſo diſcover mine .
Inſenſible ofthe ſighs of Don Alvaro Ponce, little
moved at Mendoca's flames, I led an eaſy undiſturbed
life, when chance brought you near the wood where we
met. Notwithſtanding the confuſion I was in, I yet
obferved you offered me your aſſiſtance with a very good
grace, and the way in which you parted the two furi
ous rivals, raiſed in me an advantageous opinion of
your valour and addreſs . But the means you propoſed
to reconcile them diſpleaſed me. I could not, without
difficulty , reſolve on the choice of either. But , not to
conceal any thing from you , I believe you had then a
Imall ſhare in myrepugnance ; for at the very moment
that my mouth , forced by neceſſity, named Don Fa
drique,I felt my heart declare for the unknown cavalier.
From that day ( which I may call happy, fince you have
owned your paſſion ) your merit augmented my value
for you . From you, continued ſhe, I conceal no part
of my thoughts, but impart them to you with the ſame
fiankneſs that I told Mendoça I did not love him . A
woman who has the misfortune to conceive a paſſion for
a perſon that can never love her, is in the right to re
firain herſelf, and at lealt revenge her weakneſs by an
Eternal filence ; but I take it for granted , that I may
0 without
 158 THE DEVIL
without ſcruple diſcover an innocent tenderneſs to a
man whoſe intentions are lawful . Yes, I am in rap
tures to find you love me, and for that bleſſing render 1

thanks to heaven , which doubtleſs deltined us for each

other .
After theſe words the lady remained ſilent, to give
Don Juan leave to ſpeak , and room to diſcover thoſe
Mining tranſports of joy and gratitude with which the
believed ſhe had inſpired him b
; ut, inſtead of appearing
enchanted with what he had heard, he was profoundly
thoughtful andmelancholy.
What do I ſee , Don Juan ? continued ſhe. When
to make you a fortune, which another would think
worth envying, I forget the pride of my fex, and ſhew
you a ſoul charmed with you , can you reſiſt the joy
ſuch an engaging declaration ought to raiie in you?
You remain in a frozen filence; nay, I ſee even grief in
your eyes . Ah, Don Juan, what ftrange effects have
my favours produced !Alas ! what other effects, Ma
dam , interrupting her, with a melancholy air, ſaid the
Toledan, could they produce on a heart likemine ? The
greater degree of paffion you diſcover for me, ſo much
the more miſerable I am . You are not ignorant what
Mendoça has done for me, and know the ſacred friend
Tip in which we are mutually engaged. Can I then
found my 'happineſs on the ruins of his moſt charming
hopes ? You are too nice, ſaid Donna Theodora ; I ne
ver promiſed Don Fadrique any thing which can ob
ſtruct my offering you my faith, without incurring liis
cenſure, and your receiving it without injuitice . I
own that the thcughts of an unhappy friend ought to
give you ſome ineafieſs ; but, Don Juan, can that
counterbalance the happy fate which aitends you ?
Yes, Madam, replied he, warmly ; ſuch a friend as
Mendoçca has more power over me than you imagine.
If you could conceive all the tenderneſs and force of onr
friendthip, what a milerable object of pity would you
find me! Should I thus treat Don Fadrique, who has
hidden nothing from me ? My intereſts are become his,
and
 UPON TWO STICKS . 159
and the leaſt concerns of mine never eſcape his vigilant
care : To fay all in a word, I Mare his foul with you .
Alas ! had I been deftined to accept your favours, you
ſhould have thewn them before I had' entered into ſuch
frict bonds of friendſhip . Then, charmed with the
happineſs of pleaſing you , I ſhould have looked on Men
doça with no othereyes than thoſe of arival ; my heart,
guarded against the affection he expreſſed forme, would
not have returned it, and I'fhould not have had thoſe
obligations I have at preſent to him . But, Madam, it
is now too late ; I have received all the fervices he could
render me ; I have followed the inclination I had for
him ; gratitude and affection have tied me up ſo cloſe,
and at laſt reduced me to the cruel neceſſity of renounc
ingthe glorious fortune which you offer me.
Here Donna Theodora, whoſe eyes were covered with
tears, dried them up with her handkerchief. This dira
turbed the Toledan ; he found his reſolution fhaken
and decaying, and could no longer anſwer for the
conſequences. Wherefore, continued he, with a voice
continually interrupted with fighs, Adieu, Madam ,
adieu ; I muſt fly, to preſerve my virtue ; I cannot bear
your tears, they render you too formidable. I feparate
myſelf from you for ever, and deplore the loſs of ſo
many charms my inexorable friendſhip forces me to fa
crifice. Theſe words ended , he retired with thepoor
remains of conſtancy, which were not a little difficult 1
to retain .
After his departure, the widow Cifuentes was agi
tated by a thouſand confuſed emotions. She was alhamed
of having declared herſelf to a man whom the could not
keep. Yet finding no room to doubt but his paſſion
was equal to hers, and that the intereſt of his friend
alone was what made him refuſe the hand ſhe offered ,
She was ſo juſt as to admire ſo very rare an inſtance of
friendihip , inſtead of being offended at it . Notwith
ftanding which, as one cannot help being afflicted when
things do not fucceed as one would have chem , ſhe there
forereſolved for the country on the next day, to divert
O 2 her
 760 THE DEVIL
her melancholy, or rather to augment it ; for ſoli.
tude naiurally tends rather to ſtrengthen than weaken
love . 1

Don Juan, on the other ſide, not finding Mendoça in

his apartinent, locked himſelf up in his own, abandon.
ing himſelf wholly to his grief; for, after what he had
done for his friend, he thought he might be allowed at
leaſt to ſigh . But Don Fadriquefoon came to interrupt
his thoughtfulneſs ; and concluding by his face that he
was indiſpoſed, he diſcovered no ſmall concern ; ſo that
Don Juan, to remove it, was forced to aſſure him he
wanted nothing but reſt. Mendoça inſtantly left him to
his repoſe ; but with ſuch an afflicted air, as more ſenfi
bly touched the Toledan with his misfortune. O heaven ! 1

ſaid he to himſelf, why mult the moſt tender friend.

thip in the world occaſion all the miſery of my life !
The following day Don Fadrique was not yet riſen,
when word was broughthim that Donna Theodora and
her whole family were gone toher ſeat of Villa Real,
from whence it was not probable they would ſoon re
turn . This news leſs diſturbed him from the pains he
knew he ſhould ſuffer by the diſtance of his beloved ob
ject, than that her departure was made a ſecret to him.
Without knowing what to think , he took it for an ill
prefage. He role to viſit his friend, as well to talk
with him concerning it, as to inquire after his health.
But having juſt got dreſſed , Don Juan entered his cham
ber, ſaying, I come myſelf to remove the uneaſineſs I
gave you ; I am very well to day . That good news,
anſwered Mendoça, a little conſoles me after the ill I
have received . The Tuledan asked what that was ; and
Don Fadrique, after ſending away his ſervants, ſaid ,
Donna Theodora is this morning gone into the country ,
where it is believed the intends a long ſtay . I am very
much ſurpriſed at it ; why ſhould ſhe hide it from me ?
What think you of it, Don Juan ? Have not I reaſon
to be alarmed at it ?
Zarate carefully avoided telling him his real ſentie
ments, and endeavoured to perſuade him that Donna
Theodora
 UPON TWO STICKS . 161
Theodora might go out of town, without giving any
seaſon for the fears. But Mendoca, very little ſatisfied
with the reaſons which his friend gave to hearten him,
interrupted him : All this diſcourſe, ſaid he, cannot
remove the jealouſy I have conceived. Perhaps I may
imprudently have done ſomething which may have dif
pleaſed Donna Theodora, and to puniſh it, ſhe leaves
me without condeſcending ſo far as tolet me know my
crime. However it is , I cannot live in this uncertain
condition . Don Juan, let us follow her ; my horſes ſhall
be ready inſtantly . I adviſe you, ſaid the Toledan,
not to take any body with you. This explanation of
her conduct ought to be without witneſſes." Don Juan
will not be accounted more than proper, replied Don
Fadrique : Donna Theodora is not ignorant that you
know all that paſſes in my heart. She values you ; and
far from being an obſtacle, you will be aſſiſting in the
appealing her in my favour. No, Don Fadrique, re
plied he, my prefence cannot be ſerviceable to you ; I
Therefore conjure you to go alone . No, dear Don Juan,
returned Mendoca, we will go together; I expect this
complaiſance from your friendſhip. How tyrannical is
that ! cried the Toledan, with an air of grief : why do
you exad from my friendſhip what it ought not to
grant you ?
Theſe words, which Don Fadrique did not compre.
hend , and the warmth with which they were uttered ,
ſtrangely ſurpriſed him . He looked very intently on his
friend. Don Juan , ſaid he, what is the meaning of
thoſe words I have juſt heard ? What horrid ſuſpicion
riſes in my mind ! Ah, you too much afflict me by
your too great contraint ! Speak ; what is the cauſe
of the unwillingneſs to go along with me which you
expreſſed ?
I would willingly hide it from you , anſwered the
Toledan ; but ſince you yourſelf force me to diſcover it,
I muſt no longer conceal it. Let us never more, Don
Fadrique, applaud the ſympathy of our affections ; it
is but too perfect. The beauty which has wounded
O 3 you,
 162 THE DEVIL
you , has not ſpared your friend . Denna The
rdora -- You will then be my rival! interrupted
Mendoca, turning pale. Ever ſince I diſcerned
my love, returned Don Juan , I have ſtruggled againſt
it. I have continually avoided the light of the widow
Cifuentes ; you know it, and yourſelf have blamed me
for it. I triumphed at leaſt over my paſſion, though I
could not deſtroy it . But yeſterday that lady ſent to
acquaint me, that the deſired to ſpeak with me at her
houſe . I went ; the aſked why I ſeemed to avoid her.
Al laſt I was forced to diſcover the true cauſe ; believ
ing that after ſuch a declaration ſhe would approve my
intention of always flying the ſight ofher : But, by a
fantaſtical turn of my ilī ſtarshall I tell you ? Yes,
Mendoca , I muſt tell you I found Donna Theodora
Ntrongly prepoſſeſſed with a paſſion for me.
Though Don Fadrique wasthe belt natured and moſt
reaſonable man in the world , he was ſeized with a fit of
rageat theſe words ; and here interrupting his friend,
Hold, Don Juan , ſaid he, rather pierce my breaſt than
purſue this fatal recital. You are not contented with
owning yourſelf my rival, but alſo inform me that ſhe
loves you. Juſt heaven ! what is it that you venture to
impart to me! You put our friendſhip to too ſevere a
trial . But why do I lay our friendſhip ? you have long
ſince violated it, by encouraging the perfidious ſenti
ments you have now declared to me. How much was I
miſtaken ! I thought you maſter of a generous great
fuul, but find you a faithleſs friend, ſince you can en
tertain a paſſion which wounds me. I am ſinking un
der this unexpected blow , which I feel the heavier for
being given by a hand - In the name of God, do me
more juſtice , Mendoca, interrupted the Toledan in his
turn, and allow yourſelf a moment's patience. I am vot
a falſe friend : hear me, and you will repent calling me
by that odious name.
He then related what had paſſed between the widow
Cifuentes and him ; the tender owning of her paſſion,
and the perſuaſions ſhe used to engage him to yield
without
 UPON TWO STICKS . 163
without ſcruple to his love . He repeated his anſwer ;
and, as he advanced in the relation of what a firm re
folution he diſcovered, by the ſame degrees Don Fadri
que perceived his anger to wear off. At laſt, adds
Don Juan , friendſhip carried it from love, and I re
fuſed to give my faith to Donna Theodora. She wept
in angry deſpite; but, great God ! what a ſtorm did
her tears raiſe in my ſoul ! I can never remember them
without trembling afreſh at the danger I ran . I began
to believe myſelf barbarous; and for ſome moments,
Mendoca, my heart became unfaithful to you. I did
not however yield to my weakneſs, but eſcaped thoſe
dangerous tears by a haſty flight . But it is not enough
to have avoided this danger, it ought to be feared , for
the future : I muſt haften my departure ; I will no more
expoſe myſelf to Theodora's eyes . After all this, will
Don Fairique any more accuſe me of ingratitude and
perfidioufneſs ?
No, replied Mendoca, embracing him , I return you
all your innocence ; my eyes are open; pardon my unjuſt
reproaches, and impute them to the firſt tranſport of a
lover who had loſt all his hopes . Alas, ought I to
think that Donna Theodora could ſee you longwithout
loving you , and yielding to thoſe charms whoſe power
I mylelf have tried ? You are a true friend ; I will no
more charge my miſery on any thing but fortune ; and,
far from hating you, I feel my tenderneſs for you in.
creaſe each minuie. Can you renounce the poſſeſſion of
Donna Theodora ! Can you offer up to friendſhip ſuch
a ſacrifice, and muſt not I be touched with it? Can
you conquer your love, and ſhall not I make an effort
io reftrain mine ? I ought to equal you in generoſity .
Don Juan, follow the inclination which draws you;
marry the widow Cifuentes; let my heart, if it will,
fighYou
. Mendoca begs it of you .
preſs me in vain , replied the Toledan Ii con
fefs I have a violent paſſion for her ; but your repoſe is
dearer to me than my own happineſs. Ought then, an
fwered Don Fadrique, Donna Theodora's repoſe to be
indifferent ?
 164 THE DEVIL
indifferent ? Let us not flatter ourſelves; the inclination
ſhe has for you decides my fate . Though you thould
remove yourſelf, though , to yield her to me, you ſhould
Spend a deplorable life in far diftant countries, I ſhould
never be the better for it ; fince, as the never yet was
pleaſed with me, he never will . Heaven has reſerved
her for you alone : ſhe loved you from the firſt moment
ſhe ſaw you ; in a word , ſhe cannot be happy without
you. Accept then the hand which ſhe offers, accom
pliſh her and your own deſires, leave me to all my ill
fortune ; and do not make all three miſerable , when one
may exhauſt all the rigour of deftiny.
Aſmodeus was here obliged to interrupt his diſcourſe,
to hearken to the ſtudent, who ſaid , What you tell me
is ſurpriſing : are there really any people in the world
. of this extraordinary character ? I ſee no friends in the
world who do not quarrel . I do not ſay for ſuch mil
treffes as Theodora, but even for errant jilts. Can a
lover renounce the object he adores , and by whom he is
beloved , for the ſake of a friend ? I never thought that
poſſible but in a romance ; the nature of which is to
give us men as they ought to be , not as they are. I
agree with you, anſwered the devil, it is very uncom
mon ; but it is not only to be found in romances , but
in the ſublime nature of mail , and that ſince the deluge,
in which compaſs I have known two inſtances of it be
fides this. But to return to our ſtory .
The two friends continued to facrifice their paſſion ;
and the one reſolving not to yield in point of generoſity
to the cther, their amorous ſentiments remained ſuſpend
ed for ſome days. They ceaſed to ſpeak of Donna
Theodora ; they durft not mention her name . But
whilſt friendſhip thus triumphed over love in the city of
Valencia, love, as though he would revenge himſelf,
reigned at another place with a tyrannic fway , and
forced an abſolute obedience without the leaſt reſiſtance.
Donna Theodora abandoned herſelf to that tender para
fion at her ſeat of Villa Real, ſituate near the ſea : the
inceſſantly thought of Don Juan, and could not but
hope
 UPON TWO STICKS . 165
hope ſhe ſhould marry him ,though ſhe had no reaſon to
expect it, after the rigid ſentiments of friendſhip 'for
Don Fadrique which he diſcovered .
One day, after fun-ſet, as ſhe was walking on the
ſea - ſide with one of her women , the perceived a ſmall
fhallop juſt got on ſhore. At firſt ſight, there ſeemed
to be on board ſeven or eight very ill-looking fellows ;
but after having looked on them nearer, and obſerved
them with more attention , the concluded that ſhe had
miſtaken maſks for faces : accordingly they were really
malked , and arined with ſwords and bayonets. She
trembled at their frightful aſpects, and from thence fear
ing that the deſcent which they were going to make
boded no good , the returned haitily towards her hou’e .
She looked back from time to time to obſerve them, and
perceiving that they were landed , and began to purſue
her, the ran as faſt as ſhe could ; but not being ſo nim
ble- footed as Atalanta, and themaſked men beingſtrong
and ſwift, they overtook her at her own door, and there
ſeized her . The lady and her woman ſrieked out ſo
loud, that they drew ſome of the domeſtics thither, who
alarmed the whole houſe, and all Donna Theodora's
footmen ran thither, armed with forks and clubs.
Whilſt two of the luſtieſt of the marked gang , after
having ſeized in their arms the miſtreſs and the maid ,
carried them to the ſhallop , maugre all their reſiſtance ;
the remainder made head againſt the family, who began
to preſs very hard upon them. The fight was long ;
but at laſt the maſkers ſucceeded in their enterpriſe, and
regained their fallop, fighting as they retreated. It
was now tinie they Mould retire ; for they were not em
bai ked before they ſaw coming from the Valencia road
four or five cavaliers, who rode full ſpeed that way , and
feemed to fly to the relief of Donna Theodora . At this
fight they made ſo much haſte to get out to ſea, that all
the cavaliers' endeavours were in vain .
Thele cavaliers were Don Fadrique and Don Juan.
The first of them had received a letter, by which he
was.adviſed, that it was reported by good hands, that
Don
 166 THE DEVIL
Don Alvaro Ponce was at the iſle of Majorca ; that he
had equipped a ſort of tartan , and, affitted by twenty
men of deſperate fortunes, had deſigned to ſeize and
carry off the widow Cifuentes the firſt time Me ſhould
be at her country-ſeat. On this news, the Toledan
and he, with their valets de chambre, inſtantly ſet out
to acquaint Donra Theodora with this news. At a
good diſtance they obſerved a very great number of peo
ple on the ſea- ſhore, who ſeemed engaged againſt one
another ; and not doubting but that it was'as they fear
ed, they ſpurred on their horſes full ſpeed to oppole
Don Alvaro's project . But whatever haſte they could
make, they arrived only foon enough to be witneſſes of
the rape which they deſigned to have prevented. In
the mean time Alvaro Ponce, truſting to the ſucceſs of
his audacious attempt, made off from the coaſt with
his prey ; and his fallop reached a ſmall armed veſſel,
which expected him cut at ſea. It is not poſſible to be
ſenſible of a greater forrow than that which Mendoca
and Don Juan felt. They poured out a thouſand im
precations againſt the raviſher, and filled the air with
complaints as lamentable as vain . All the domeſtics
of Donna Theodora, animated by ſuch excellent ex
amples, did not ſpare their tears. The ſhore reſound
ed with mournful cries : rage, deſpair, and defolation,
reigned on the melancholy ſtrand ; nor did the rape of
Helen occaſion a greater contternation in the Spartan
court .
CHAP . XV .
Of the brcil betwixt a tragic and comic author .
HERE theſtudent could nothelpinterrupting the de
vil . Signior Aſmodeus, ſaid he, though the ſtory
you are telling is extremely moving, yet I am not able
to reſilt my earneit deſire to know the meaning of what
I there fee. I diſcern two men in their ſhirts in a cham
ber, pulling and tearing each other by the throat and
hair, and ſeveral men in their night -gowns, endeavour
ing to part them . Pray tell me what all that buitie
means . The devil, who endeavoured to oblige him in
cvery
 UPON TWO STICKS . 167
every thing, without delay, fatisfied his requeſt in the
following manner.
Thoſe perſons whom you ſee fighting in their ſhirts,
are two French authors ; and thoſe who are parting
them, are two Germans, a Dutchman , and an Italian ,
lodged all in the ſame inn, which is frequented by none
but foreigners . One of theſe authors writes tragedies ,
and the other comedies . The firſt, upon ſome diſguſt
he met with in France, crowded himſelf into the French
ambaſſador's retinue : and the other , diſcontented with
his circumſtances at Paris, came to Madrid in queſt of
a better fortune . The tragic writer is a vain inſolent
fellow , who, in ſpite of the moſt fentible part of the
public, has gained a great name in his own country.
To keep his muſe in breath, he writes every day. Not
being able to ſleep this night, he began a play, whole
plot is taken from Homer's Iliad. He has finifred but
one ſcene ; and his leaſt fault being that of the rett of
the poets, an impertinent inclinarion to peſter other peo.
ple with their performances, he riſes, ſnatches up his
candle, and in his ſhirt knocks very hard at the chanı.
ber door of the comic author ; who, making a better
we of his time, was got into a ſound Deep ; but ſoon
waking at the noiſe, he opened the door to the other ,
who faid, entering the room like a man pofíeffed , Fall
down, my friend , fall at my feet, and adore a genius
· which Melpomene has honoured . I have juſt brought
forth fome vertes- -But why do I ſay I have juſt
done it ? It is Apollo himſelf that dictated them to me.
If I were at Paris, I would this day read them from
houſe to houſe ; and I wait only for day-light to charm
Monfieur the ambaſſador, and all the French at Madrid ,
with them . But before I thew them to any body, I
will repeat them to you .
I thank you for the preference, anſwered the comic
author, with a powerful yawn : but the worſt of it is ,
that you have choſen an unſeaſonable time ; for I went
10 bed ſo late, that I am overpowered by ſleep, and
to cannot promiſe to hear all the ver.es you have to re
feat,
 168 THE DEVIL
peat , without rcdding. Oh , I will anſwer for that,
replied the tragic author ; though you were dying, the
ſcene which I have juſt now written would revive you .
My verſification is not a rhapſody of ftale common
thoughts and trivial expreſſions, ſupported barely by
shime ; it is a noble maſculine poem, which moves the
heart,and itrikes the intellect. I am none of thole
poetaſters, whoſe wretched modern compoſitions país
over the ſtage like ſo many ghoſts , and then go to Uti
ca to divert the Africans. My pieces, worthy to be
confecrated with my ftatue in the library of Apollo Pa.
latinus, are crowded the thirtieth night . But let us ,
added our modeſt poet, come to the verſes I intend to
give you a ſample of.
This is my tragedy, The Death of Patroclus. Scene
the firſt. Briſeis, and other of Achilles's captives, ap
pear tearing their hair, and beating their breaſts, to ex
preſs their grief for the death of Patroclus. Wholly
unable to ſupport themſelves, being utterly diſpirited
by deſpair, they fall down on the ſtage. This you will
ſay is ſtriking a bold Itroke : but it is what I aim at .
Let your little geniuſes keep within the bounds of iinia
tation, without daring to go an inch out of the com
mon road . With all my heart. Their fearfulneſs is
prudence. As for me, I love novelty ; and, in my
opinion , in order to move and tranſport fpectators , one
muſt preſent them with new and unexpected incidents.
Well then , the captives are upon the ground ; Phe
nix, Achilles's governor, is with thein , to help them
one after another to riſe, and then opens the drama with
theſe lines .
Priam pall loſe his Hector and bis Trny ;
Achilles to revenge his friend prepares :
See glittering through ibe air, on every ſide,
Pikes, lances, belmers, cuiralles, and daris ;
The rattling bail in leſs abundance pours .
The Greeks all ſwear î' appeaſe Pairuclus ' ghoſt.
Fierce Agamemnon, and divine Camelus,
Old honour'd Neftor, equal to the gods'
Leonies,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 169
Leontes, dextrous at the manag'd ſpear,
Strong Diomede, and ſilver- tongu'd Ulyles,
And ſee ! Achilles comes - godlike he drives
Hisſteeds immortal towards Troy's proud walls,
And leaves the diſtanc'd winds far off behind ;
Then thus be fouting cries- - * O vigorous race ,
Podargus, Xanthus,Balius, quick advance !
And when with ſpoil and carnage we are tir’d,
Haſte to regain our camp — but not without your maſter,
Fleet Xanthus bows his neck, and thus replies,
For Juno gave him ſpeech - Acbilles, know ,
Your faithfulhorſes fall your will obey ;
But your darkbour of fateis drawing near.
Heſpoke - and now the winged chariotflies.
Thi exulting Greeks behuld ,and, Joouting loud,
With rounds of joyfake all th'adjacent coaf .
Dreſs'din Vulcanian arms, the conqu’ring prince
Appears more glittering than the morning ſtar,
Or than the ſun commencing his career ,
When be moves on to bleſs the world with day :
He flames likefires which onſome mountain -top
Are made at night by the rejoicing Swains.
I ſtop here, continued the tragic author, to give you
a moments's breathing; for if I ſhould repeat the whole
ſcene at once, the too great multiplicity of ſhining para
ſages, and ſublime thoughts, would overcome you. Ob
ſerve the beauty and juſtice of that compariſon ; As
bright as fires made on the top of a mountain at night.
Every body will not diſcern it; but you, who have wit
and juſt ſenſe, you , I ſay, ought to be raviſhed with
it . I am , doubtleſs, aniwered the comic poet, with a
malicious ſmile: nothing is ſo fine; and I hope you will
not forget, in your tragedy, the care which Thetis
took to drive away the flies from Patroclus's body. Do
not think to make a jeſt of it, replied the tragic poet.
A ſkilful writer may venture any thing. That paſſage,
perhaps, of the whole piece, is capable of affording the
fineſt verſes, and I aſſureyou I ſhall not miſcarry in it.
All my works, added he, as you ſee, are ſtamped
with the image of venerable antiquity ; and when I read
P them ,
* Hom. Iliad, lib. 9.
 170 THE DEVIL
them , obſerve how they are applauded ! I ſtop at every
verfe to receive their due praiſes. I remember I one
day read a tragedy in a houſe at Paris, where the beau .

eſprits go at dinner-time, and where withoutvanity I

do not paſs for a Pradon. The old Counteſs of Ville THE
brune was there, who has an admirable and nice taſte.
I am her favourite poet : ſhe wept heartilyat the firſt
ſcene; called for a freſh handkerchief at the ſecond act ;
did not nothing but ſob at the third ; grew ſick at the
fourth ; and at the cataſtrophe I thought ſhe would
have expired with the hero of the piece.
At theſe words the merry comic author, however de.
firous to keep his gravity, could not contain from burſt
ing into a laugh. Ay, ſaid he, I very well remember Db
that Counteſs's humour ; ſhe is a woman who cannot
bear comedy ; ſhe has ſuch an utter averſion for it, that
The runs out of the box as ſoon as the muſic has done,
to vent all her grief. Tragedy is her favourite paffion ;
let the play be good or bad, provided there be unhappy
lovers in it , you are ſure of that lady's company ; and,
to be free with you, if I wrote ſerious poems, I
ſhould be glad of other applauders than her Lady
fhip .
oh I have others alſo, ſaid the tragic poet ; I have
the approbation of a thouſand perſons of quality of
both ſexes. I ſhould very much miſtruſt the ap
plauſe of ſuch people, interrupted the comic writer. ' I
Ihould be very cautious of ſtanding by their judgments ;
and I will tell you why : Such fort of ſpectators are
generally abfentwhile a piece is reading, and are taken
by the beauty of a verſe or fine ſentiment. This is
enough to challenge their commendation of a whole
work, otherwiſe very imperfect. On the other hand,
a few flat hard verſes ſhock them ; and there needs no
more to make them paſs condemnation upon an excel
lent piece .
Well then, replied the grave author, ſince you would
have me diftruft ſuch judges, I truſt them to the ap
plauſe of the pit. Pray, if you pleaſe, replied the
other ,
 UPON TWO STICKS .
171
other, do no talk to me of your pit ; they are too fan
taftical in their deciſions ; they are ſometimes ſo groſsly
miſtaken at the playing of new pieces , that they ſhall
continue for two whole months together inchanted
with a bad play . Indeed, when it comes out, their eyes
are opened, and the author is damned after ſuch lúc
ceſs .
That is a misfortune I am in no danger of, ſaid the
tragic writer ; myworks are printed as often as played .
I own, indeed , it is not ſo as to comedies, they being
but trifles, wretched , feeble productions of wit:
Not ſo faſt, good Sir, interrupted the other author ; ſtop
a little; if you pleaſe ; you do not ſee, you grow warm .
I beſeech'you ſpeak of comedy with a little leſs con
tempt . Do you believe a comic piece leſs difficult to
write than a tragedy ? or that it is eaſier to make well
bred people laugh than cry ? Undeceive yourſelf ; and
be aſſured that an ingenious ſubject, which turns on the
manners
heroic po
of men, does not coſt leſs pains than the fineſt
em .
Egad, ſaid the tragic poet, with an air of raillery, I
am lurpriſed to hear you expreſs yourſelf thus : but,
Monſieur Calidas, to avoid all diſpute, I will for the
future like your works, though I have hitherto deſpiſed
them . I do not value your contempt, Monſieur Gib.
let, haftily returned the comic author ; and, to anſwer
1 your infolent airs, I will now tell you, in my turn,
1 what I think of the verſes you have juſt recited. They
TC are ridiculous , and the thoughts, though taken out of
en Homer, are nevertheleſs flat. Achilles talks to his
horſes, and his horſes anſwer him ; that is a mean, low
image, as well as the compariſon of the fire the pea
fants make on a mountain . To pillage the ancients in
72
this manner, is not to do them any honour. They
I indeed abound with admirable beauties ; but more ſenſe,
and a better taſte than you have, are requiſite to make
ad a happy choice of what ought to be borrowed from
them .
Since your genius is notP ſufficiently elevated , replied
20 Giblet,
 172 THE DEVIL
Giblet, to diſcern the beauties of my poem, and to pu
niſh your rathneſs in preſuming to criticiſe on my ſcene,
you ſhall not hear a line more of it. I have been too
leverely puniſhed, returned Calidas, in hearing the be
ginning. It becomes you , indeed , very well to deſpiſe
my comedies ! Know then , that the very worſt I could
ever write, will always appear far ſuperior to your
beſt pieces . Aſſure yourſelf, it is much eaſier to take
a flight, and ſoar on lofty ſubjects, than to hit upon a
delicate nice raillery .
Thanks to my ſtars , ſaid the ſerious writer diſdain
fully, if I have the misfortune not to be approved of
by you , I ought to be very eaſy under it. The court
thinks more favourably of me than you ; and the pen
fion it vouchſafedDo not think to dazzle me with
your court- penfions, interrupted Calidas ; I know too
well how they are obtained , to value your works at all
the more for that ; and to prove that I am convinced
it is eaſier to write tragedies, when I return to France,
if I do not ſucceed in comedies , I will defcend to the
writing of tragedy.
For a farce- Icribbler, interrupted the grave author,
you have indeed a great deal of vanity. For a moſt
wretched verſifier, faid the comic author, you have
really an extravagant opinion of yourſelf. You are an
infolent fellow , replied the other. I tell you , diminu
tive Monſieur Calidas, if I was not in your chamber,
the catraſtophe of this adventure Mould teach you how
to reſpect the buſkin . Oh, let not that confideration
withhold you , great Monſieur Giblet, anſwered Cali
das ; if you have a mind to fight , I will engage you
here as readily as any where elſe. At theſe words they
tore one another by the throat and hair, and both boxed
very warmly, without ſparing each other. An Italian ,
who lay in the next room , heard the whole dialogue,
and by the noiſe of the blows concluded they were fight
ing : he then roſe, and though an Italian, out of com
paſſion for them , called up the houſe. A Dutchman
and two Germans, whom you ſee in morning
gowns ,
. :
1
 1

க .

BENELLI
DEVIL. ON TWO STICKS .
Vide Chapter 15. Page 273 .
Encounter between Giblet the tragie
Anthor and Calidas the comic Anthor .
Engrared for CWoke Sat 799.
 UPON TWO STICKS . 173
gowns, came along with the Italian, to part the com
batants .
This is a very pleaſant fray, ſaid Don Cleofas; but
by what I ſee, it is plain that the tragic authorz in
France think themſelves much more conſiderable men
than thoſe who write comedy. Undoubtedly, anſwered
Aſmodeus; the former ſuppoſe themſelves as much above
the latter, as the heroes of their tragedies are above
the footmen in the comic plays . Upon what pretence
can they found their arrogance ? replied the ſtudent; is
it that itis more difficult to write a tragedy than a co
medy ? Your queſtion, anſwered the devil, has been an
hundred times debated, and is ſtill every day . Myde
ciſion of it, without offence to ſuch of mankind as
are of a different ſentiment, is this ; that to form an
excellent plot for a comedy, does not require a leſs
effort of genius than to lay the fineſt plan in the world
for a tragedy ; for if the latter were the more difficult,
we must then conclude, that a writer of tragedies would
be more capable of making a comedy than the beſt co
mic author, which would not agree with experience.
Theſe two ſorts of poems then require a different geni
us, but equal ſkill. Let us end this digreſſion, conti
nued the devil , and I will reaſſume the thread of my
ftory , which you interrupted .
CHAP . XVI.
The continuation and concluſion ofthefiory of the
power of friendſhip.
THOUGH being Theodora's
hinder her Donna they yetcould
forced away,fervants
not
courage
ouſly oppoſed it, and their reſiſtance was fatal to fome
of Alvaro's men : amongſt others they wounded one fo
dangerouſly , that , unable to follow his comrades, he
remained almoſt dead on the fand .
This unfortunate wretch was known to be one of Al
varo's footmen ; and Donna Theodora's ſervants, per
ceiving that he yet breathed , carried him to her houſe,
where they ſpared nothing that could contribute to the
recovery of his ſpirits; and they gained their end,
P 3 though
 174 THE DEVIL
though the great quantity of blood which he had loſt
rendered him extremely feeble. To engage him to
ſpeak, they promiſed to ſecure his life, and notto de . 26

liver him up to the ſeverity of juſtice, provided hewould

tell where his maſter deſigned to carry Donna Theodo
ra. Flattered by this promiſe, though in his condition
there appeared but ſmall hopes of his ever taking the
benefit of it, he collected his little remainder of ſtrength,
and in a very feeble tone confirmed the advice which
Don Fadriqúe had before received ; and added, that
Don Alvaro's deſign was to carry the widow Cifuentes ay

to Saſſari, in the iſland of Sardinia, where he had a re

lation whoſe intereſt and authority were very great, and
whom he knew would certainly protect him . X2
This confeſſion fomewhat abated the deſpair of Men
doca and the Toledan . They left the wounded man
in the houſe, where he died ſome hours after, and , re
turning to Valencia, conſulted what meaſures to take .
They reſolved to purſue their common enemy to the
place of his retreat. Accordingly, they both embarked
very ſoon after at Denia for Port Mahon , not doubt . 12

ing their meeting with an opportunity of a paſſage to

Sardinia , Their hopes proved true; forthey were no 21

ſooner arrived at Mahon, than they were informed that

a veſſel, freighted for Cagliari, was juſt ready to fail,
and they took the opportunity. The ſhip put off with
the moſt favourable wind they could defire.; but five or
fix hours after they were perfectly becalmed ; and at
night, the wind turning directly contrary, they were
obliged to ſteer from one ſide to the other, without hope
of its changing. They fteered thus for three days ;
and on the fourth , at two in the afternoon , they diſco
vered a veſſel making all poſſible fail to them. They .
at firſt took it for a merchantman ; but obſerving that it
came within cannon - ſhot of them without thewing
any colours, they did not doubt but that it was a
pirate .
They were not deceived ; it was a Tunis ſhip, which
fuppoſed that the Chriſtians would yield without fight
ing i
 UPON TWO STICKS . 175
ing ; but when they perceived that they cleared their
fhip, and prepared their guns, they concluded them in
earneſt; wherefore they ſtopped, did the ſame, and pre
pared to engage. They began to fire, and the Chris
tians teemed to have ſome advantage ; buit an Algerine,
larger, and provided with more guns than both the
others , coming up in themidſt of the action, and taking
the part of the Tunis Thip, made full fail to the Spaa
niard, and obliged him to ſuſtain the fire of both
ſhips.
At this fight the Chriſtians deſpairing, and reſolv
ing not to continue an engagement now become too
unequal , gave over firing, when there appeared on the
poop ofthe Algerinea ſlave, who cried outto thein in Spa
T. niſh, that if they expected quarter, they muſt ſurrender
to the Algerine. Theſe words ended, a Turk difa
played the Algerine green taffaty flag with ſilver creſ
cents .
The Chriſtians, conſidering that all reſiſtance
would be vain, no longer thought of defending them.
ſelves, but yielded with all the grief which the horrid
idea of Navery could cauſe in freemen ; and the maſter
of the veſſel, fearing a longer delay might irritate the
barbarous conquerors, took the colours from the poop,
threw himſelf into the pinnace with ſome of the ſailors,
and went on board the Algerine. The pirate fent a
parcel of ſoldiers to plunder the Spaniſh Mhip , as he of
Tunis likewiſe gave the fame order to ſome of his crew ,
ſo that all the paſſengers were in an inſtant diſarmed and
ſearched ; and ſent on board the Algerine, where the
prey by lot .for Mendoca and
two pirates divided their confolation
It had been at leaſt a
his friend , to have both fallen into the hands of the
fame pirate. Their chains would have been lighter, if
they could have joined in the bearing them ; but for
tune reſolving they Mould experience all her ſeverity,
ſubjected Don Fadrique to the Tunis robher, and Don
Juan to the Algerine. Imagine the deſpair that ſeized
Theſe friends when they ſaw they were going to part,
They threw themſelves at the pirate's feet, and cori
jured
 176 THE DEVIL
jured him not to ſeparate them. But theſe ſavage vil.
lains, whoſe barbarity is proof againſt any fight, could
not be moved ! On the contrary, concluding theſe
two captives to be conſiderable men, who could pay a
large ranſom , they reſolved to keep them, as they were
divided .
Mendoca and Zarate, ſeeing they could not ſoften
theſe mercileſs wretches, caſt their eyes on each other,
and by their looks expreſſed the exceſs of their affic
tion . But when the whole booty was divided , and the
Tunis pirate was going to return on board his own
ſhip with his ſlaves, the two friends were ready to ex.
pire with grief. Mendoca ran to the Toledan, and,
claſping him in his arms, We muſt then , ſaid he, le
parate ! Oh terrible neceflity ! Is it not enough that the
audacious villainy of a ravither remains unpuniſhed ,
but muſt we be incapacitated to unite our complaints
and ſorrows ! Ah ! Don Juan , what have we done to
heaven , that we muit, in ſuch a cruel manner , experi
ence its heavy diſpleaſure ? Ah, look no where elle for
the cauſe of our misfortunes, anſwered Don Juan , they
ought only to be imputed to me ; the death of the two
perſons whom I faciificed , though excuſable in mens'
eyes , muſt undoubtedly have irritated heaven, which pu
nishes you for having engaged in friendſhip with a mile
rable wretch, whom juſtice purſues.
At theſe words they both ſhowered down tears in
great abundance, and lighed with ſuch violence, that
the other ſlaves were not leſs touched with their grief
than their own misfortunes. The Tunis ſoldiers , yet
more barbarous than their maſter, obſerving that Men .
doca did not haſten to the veſiel, brutally (narched him
out of the Toledan's arms, and forced him along with
them , loading him with blows . Adieu , dear friend,
cried he, I ſhall never ſee you more ! Donna Theodora
is not yet revenged ; the ills which I expect from theſe
cruel men will be the lead of the ſufferings of my fla
very. Don Juan could not answer theſe words ; the
treatment which he ſaw his friend receive, threw him
into
 UPON TWO STICKS . 177
into a fit that rendered him ſpeechleſs. The order of
the ſtory requiring us to follow the Toledan, we will
leave Don Fadrique on board the Tunis ſhip .
The Algerine returned to his country, where being
arrived , he carried the new llaves to the batha, and
thence to the public flave market . An officer belong
ing to the Dey Mezzomorto bought Don Juan for his
malter, and ſet hiin to work in the garden belonging to
Mezzomorto's * Haram . Though this employ muſt
needs prove very painful to a gentleman, yet the ſoli
tude which it required rendered it agreeable; for in his
!
preſent circumftances nothing could more divert him
ihan the reflection on his misfortunes ; on which he in
ceſſantly employed his thoughts ; and was ſo far from
endeavouring to diſlodge theſe moſt afflicting images,
that he ſeemed to take pleaſure in the remembrance of
them . One day , not perceiving the Dey , who was
walking in the garden, he ſung a melancholy long as
he was working . Mezzomorto ſtopped to liſten to it,
and being very well pleaſed with the voice, came up to
him , and aſked him his name . The Toledan told him
it was Alvaro ; for when he was ſold to the Dey, he
thought fit to change his name, purſuant to the cuſtom
of other ſlaves, and hit upon that firſt, by reaſon the
rape of Theodora, by Alvaro Ponce, was continually
in his mind . Mezzomorto, who underſtood Spaniſh in
differently well, put ſeveral queſtions to him concern
ing the cuſtomsof Spain , and particularly concerning
the meaſures the men took to render themſelves agree.
able to the women : to all which Don Juan returned ſuch
anſwers as very well ſatisfied the Dey. Alvaro, ſaid he
to him , you ſeem not to want ſenſe, and indeed I do
not take you for a common man ; but whatever you are,
you have the good fortune to pleaſe me, and I will ho .
nour you ſo far as to make you my confident. Don
Juan
* Haram is the name given to all private perſons' ſeraglios;
none but that of the Grand Signior being properly called the
feraglio.
 178 THE DEVIL
Juan at theſe words proftrated himſelf at the Dey's feet ,
and after having taken up the loweſt border of his robe,
with it touched hiseyes , mouth, and head.
To begin with giving you ſome marks of it, reſumed
Mezzonjorto, I will tell youthat I have the fineſt wo
men of Europe in my feraglio : amongſt them I have
one that is beyond all ſort of compariſon, and I do not
believe that the Grand Signior himſelf is poſſeſſed of a
more perfect beauty, though his ſhips continually bring
him women from all parts of the world. Her face to
me feems the ſun reflected; and her ſhape is as exact as 了。
that of the roſe - tree in the garden of Eram : you may
ſee that I am inchanted .
But this miracle of nature, though enriched with ſuch
rare beauty, gives herſelf wholly up to a faral grief,which
neither time nor love can diſlipate; and though fortune
has ſubjected her to my deares, I have not yet ſatisfied
them . I have conſtantly bridled them, and, contrary to
the common cuſtom of men in my circumſtances, who
aim no farther than at fenſual pleaſures, I have endea
voured to gain her heart by ſuch acomplaiſance and pro .
found reſpect, as the meaneit Muſſulman would be a
Shamed of ever owning to a Chriſtian flave. Yet all
my tenderneſs only increaſes her melancholy, and her
obſtinacy begins at laſt to tire me. The idea of Navery
is not graven in ſuch deep tracks in others, and there .
fore were ſoon effaced by favourable treatment of them ,
This tedious grief fatigues my patience ; but , before I
yield to the violent tranſports of love, I muſt inake one
effort more, in which I would uſe your aſſiſtance ; the
flave, being a Chriſtian , and of your nation, may make
you her confident, and you may perſuade her better than
any other. Advantageouſly repreſent to her my qua
lity and riches ; tell her that I will diſtinguiſh her from
all my ſlaves ; engage her to conſider, if neceſſary, that
The may one day become the wife of Mezzomorto ;
and aſſure her that I ſhall have a greater value for her
than for a Sultana whoſe hand his highneſs ſhould
himſelf tender ine.
Don
 UPON TWO STICKS .
179
Don Juan a ſecond time proſtrated himſelf at the
Dey's feet ; and though not very well pleaſed with his
commiſſion , aſſured him that he would do his beſt 10
acquit himſelf in the performance. It is enough, re
plied Mezzomorto ; leave your work , and follow me.
I will order it that you ſhall ſpeak with this beautiful
Nave alone ; but have a care how you abuſe the truſt,
which, if you do, your rafhneſs ſhall be puniſhed by tor
tures unknown even to Turks themſelves. Endeavour
to overcome your melancholy, and know that your li.
berty is annexed to the end of my ſufferings. Don
Juan left off working, and followed the Dey, who was
gone before to diſpole the afflicted captive to admit his
agent .
She was with two old Naves, who retired at his ap
proach. The charming Nave ſaluted him with profound
reſpect; but could not help trembling for fear of what
might happen to her every viſit hemade. He per
ceived it ; and , to diſſipate her fears, Fair captive, ſaid
he, I come hither at preſent for no other reaſon than to
tell you, that I have a Spaniard amongſt my ſlaves,
with whoſe converſation probably you may not be dif
pleaſed ; if you deſire to ſee him, I will give you leave
to ſpeak with him, and that alſo without any witneſſes.
The beautiful fiave anſwered, that the moſt earneſtly
defired it. I will immediately fend him to you, replied
Mezzomorto , if his diſcourſe can aſſuage your grief.
Theſe words ended, he ordered the two old ſlaves who
*
ſerved her another way , and afterwards himſelf quitted
her apartment, and meeting the Toledan, he whiſpered
to him , You may enter; and, after you have talked with
the fair flave, come to my apartment, and give me an
11
account of your ſucceſs.
Don Juan entered the chamber, and faluted the ſlave
without fixing his eyes on her : and ſhe received his fa
lutation without looking very intently on him . But
beginning to look on each other more earneſtly,
they hurſt outinto tears of ſurpriſe and joy. O God !
ſaid the Toledan , approaching her, am I not deluded
by
 180 THE DEVIL
by a phantom ? Is it really Donna Theodora whom I fee ?
Ah, Don Juan , cried the fair ſlave, is it you that ſpeak 10

to me ? Yes, Madam, anſwered he, tenderly kiſſing

one of her hands, it is Don Juan himſelf. You may
know me by the tears which my eyes, charmed with
the happineſs of ſeeing you again, cannot reſtrain : at W

the tranſports of joy which your preſence is only capa

ble of exciting, I have done murmuring at Fortune,
ſince ſhe has reſtored you to my wiſhes.- -But when
ther does my immoderate joy hurry me ? Alas ! I for
get that you are in chains' What ſtrange caprice of
fortune brought you hither? How did you eſcape Don
Alvaro's raih paſſion ? Ah, what difinal alarms does
that give me ! and how much am I afraid that heaven
has not ſufficiently protected your virtue !
Heaven , ſaid Donna Theodora, has revenged me of
Alvaro Ponce . If I had time to tell you—You have
enough, inte rupted Don Juan . The Dey has permit.
ted me to be with you , and what may ſurpriſe you , to
talk with you alone. Let us make the beſt uſe of theſe
happy moments , and pray acquaint me with all that
has happened to you from the time of your ſeizure to $
this preſent. Alr, who told you that it was Don Al
varo that feized me ? I know it but too well , returned
Don Juan . Then he ſuccinctly related how he was in
formed of it, and how Mendoca and he embarked in
ſearch of the ravilher, and were taken by pirates. Af
ter which Donna Theodora immediately began the re .
cital of her adventures in theſe words . It is needleſs
to tell you that I was extremely ſurpriſed to find myſelf
ſeized by troop of maſked men . I fwooned away in
the arms of him that carried me off ; and when I got
out of my fit, which doubtlets was very long, I found .
myſelf alone with Agnes , one of my women, at ſea ,
in the cabin of a veſei under Sail.
Agnes exhorted me to patience, and by her diſcourſe
gave meroom to conclude that ſhe had a correſpondence
with my raviſher ; who then preſumed to thew himſelf to
me ; and, throwing himſelf at my feet, Madam , ſaid he,
pardon
 UPON TWO STICKS . 18,0
pardon the way Don Alvaro has taken to poſſeſs you.
You know what terder addreſſes I made to you , and
with what conſtancy I diſputed your heart with Don Fa
drique, to the time that you gave him the preference. If
my paſſion for you had only been a common one, I had
conquered it, and comforted myſelf under the misfor
tune; but I am deſtined to adore your charms; and,
ſcorned as I am , I cannot free myſelf from their power.
But yet do not fear that my love will offer any violence.
I did not make this attempt on your liberty ,to affright
your virtue by baſe means ; no, all I pretend to in the
retirement whither I am conveying you, is, the an eter
nal and ſacred knot may bind our deftinies. He ſaid
feveral other things which I cannot well remember ; they
tended to hint that he thought, in forcing me to marry
him , he did not tyrannize ; and that I ought rather to
Jook upon him as a paſſionate lover, than an inſolent ra
viſher. Whilft he ſpake, I did nothing but weep and
delpair : wherefore, without loſing time in endeavours to
perfuade me, he left me ; but, at his retiring, made a
lign to Agnes, which I diſcerned was his order to her to
reinforce with her addreſs thoſe arguments with which
he deſigned to dazzle my reaſon .
She acted her part to the full : The ſuggeſted to me,
that, after the noiſe of a rape, I muſt of neceffity be
forced to accept Don Alvaro's offer, how great ſvever
myaverfion for him might be. That my reputation
demanded this facrifice of my heart. The laying me
under the neceſſity of ſuch a hideous marriage not being
the way to dry up my tears, I remained inconfolable .
Agnes did not know what to ſay to me farther, when on
a lidden we heard a great noiſe on the deck , which en
gaged all our attention.
This was occaſioned by the ſurprize of Don Alvaro's
men , at the ſight of a large vellel making all poiſible lail
towards us . Our ihip not being lo good a ſailer as that ,
it was impoſſible for us to avoid it . He came up with
lis, and immediately we heard a crying, To windward,
To windward . But Alvaro Ponce and his men chuſing
a rather
 182 THE DEVIL
rather to die than yield, ventured to diſpute their liberty
with the enemy. The action was very ſharp. I will
not run into particulars, but only acquaint you that Don 2

Alvaro and all his men were killed , after having fought
with the utmoſt deſpair. As for us , we were conducted 4

into the great ſhip, which belonged to Mezzomorto,

and was commanded by Aby Aly Oſman, one of his 1

officers .
Aby Aly earneſtly looked at me with ſurprize, and
knowing by my dreſs that I was a Spaniſh woman , he
ſaid to me in the Caſtilian tongue, Moderate your grief
for being fallen into Navery, it is a misfortune which was
inevitable : But why do I call it a misfortune ? it is an
advantage for which you onght to applaud your happy
itars ; you are too charming to be confined only to be
obeyed by Chriftians : Heaven never formed you for thoſe
wretched mortals : you merit the addreſſes of the matters
of the world, and none but Mulſulmen are worthy to en
joy you . I will , adds he, return to Algiers. Though I
have taken no other prize, I am perſuaded , that the Dey,
my malter, will be pleaſed with this expedition ; nor can
I fear his blaming my impatience to put into his hands
a beauty that willafford him ſuch delicious pleaſures,and
be the ornament of his ſeraglio . At theſe words, which
diſcovered what I had to expect, my tears redoubled.
Aby Aly, who looked on the reaſon of my fright with
another eye than mine, only laughed , and made all the
fail he could towards Algiers ; whilſt I afficted myſelf
beyond all bounds of moderation. Sometimes I directed
my fighs to Heaven ,and implored its aſſiſtance ; at others
I wiſhed ſome Chriſtian Dips would attack us , or that
the waves would ſwallow us up ; and after that I wiſhed
my grief and tears might render me fo frightful, that the
very ſight of me might ftrike horror into theDey . Vain
deſires , alas , reſulting from my alarmed modeſty ! We
arrived at the port ; I was conducted to the palace, and
thewn to Mezzomorto . I do not know what Aby Aly
ſaid when he preſented me to his maſter, nor what he
anſwered, becauſe they ſpoke Turkiſh ; but I fancied I
could
 UPON TWO STICKS . 183
could diſcover, by the geſtures and looks of the Dey,
that I had the misfortune to pleaſe him ; and what he
afterwards ſaid to me in Spaniſh perfected my deſpair,
by confirming me in that opinion .
I threw mytelf in vain at his feet, and promiſed what
ever he pleaſed for my ranſom . I tempted his avarice,
by the offer of allmy eſtate : but he told me that he
valued ine above all the riches in the world . He cauſed
this apartment, the moſt magnificent in all. his palace,
to be prepared for me; and has left no means unat
tempted to diſpel that grief which overwhelined ine ! He
brought me all the Naves of both ſexes , that could either
fing or play on any inſtrument; he removed Agnes, be
lieving he only fed my melancholy, and I am waited on
by old llaves, who inceſſantly inculcate to me their mal
ter's love, and all the pleaſures relerved for me. But all
that has been done to divert me, ferves only to augment
my ſorrows ; nothing can comfort me . Captive as I
an, in this deteſtable place, which every day reſounds
with the cries of oppreſſed innocence, I ſuffer leſs by the
loſs of myliberty, than the terror with which the Dey's
odious paſſion inſpires me : for though I have hitherto
found no other treatment from him than that of a com
plaiſant lover, I am not leſs affrighted, and very much
fear, left,abandoning that reſpect which perhaps has hi
therto reſtrained him , he ſhould at laſt abuſe his power .
I am continually afflicted by theſe dreadful reflections,
and every moment of my life is a frelh torment .
Donna Theodora could not end theſe words without
howers of tears, which ſtabbed Don Juan to the heart.
It is not without reaſon, Madam, ſaid he, that you form
ſuch a horrible idea of what may happen to you : I am
as much terrified at it as you : the Dey's reſpect is neaier
its declenſion than you imagine ; this fubiniſlive lover
will ſoon throw off his feigned complailance ; I know
it but too well , and know all the danger you are in .
But , continued he, changing his tone, I will not tamely
tee it ; ſave as I am , my delpair is to be feared . Before
Mezzomorto ſhall force you , Iwill plunge into his breaſt
R_2 -Ah,
 184 THE DEV
IL
-Ah , Don Juan , interrupted Donna Thecdora, what
a dangerous project are you venturing at ! Ah , be ex
tremely careful that you never put it in execution . 14

What prodigious cruelties, great God, will be the con

fequences of his death ! Will the Turks leave it unre
venged -Oh, the moſt dreadful torinents . I can
not think of ihem without trembling. Beſides , is it not
to expoſe yourſelf to an unneceſſary danger ? Can you,
by killing the Dey , reſtore my liberty ? Alas, perhaps I
may be ſold to fume villainius wretch , that inay have
lels regard for me than Mezzomorto has. Oh heaven ! 21

you ought to thew your juſtice ; you know the Dey's

brutal delives ; you forbid me the uſe of poiſon and
fword ; it therefore belongs to you to prevent a crime
which offends you .
Yes, Madam, replied Don Juan, heaven will prevent
it : I perceive that it inſpires me; what at preſent oc
curs to mind , is doubtleſs ſuggeſted to me from thence.
The Dey gave me leaveto ſee you for no otherreaſon
than to incline you to yield to his paſſion : I am charged
to give him an account of our converſation ; but I mult
deceive him . I will then tell him that you are not in
conſolable ; thathis generous conduct with regard to
you begins to aſſuage your griefs ; and that, if he con
tinues in the ſame meaſures, he ought to hope for what
ever he wiſhes. Accordingly, when lie comes to ſee
you again, I wiſh he might find you lefs melancholy
than ordinary, and feign your being in ſome meaſure
pleaſed with his diſcourſe.
Oh horrid conſtraint! interrupted Donra Theodora :
how can a frank and fincere foul betray itſelf to that de.
gree? and what advantage will reſult fromſuch a pain
fuldiffimulation ?The Dey ,anſwered he,will pleaſe him
felf with this alteration , and reſolve to gain you wholly
by complaiſance. In the interim I vill endeavour your
liherty. The talk, I own, is difficult ; but I am ac
quainted with a Nave , whoſe great addreſs and induſtry
may not be unſerviceable to us. I leave you , continued
he ; the affair requires diligence, and we thall fee one
another
 UPON TWO STICKS . 185
another again . I go now to the Dey, whoſe impetuous
fame I will endeavour to amule by falle intelligence ;
and you, Madam, muſt prepare to receive him . Diflem
ble, force your nature . Though his preſence offend
your eyes, yet diſarm them of ſeverity and hatred . Pre
vail on your mouth , which only opens itſelf daily to be
wail your misfortunes, to learn a flattering tone; and
do not fear fhewing too much favour. You muſt pro
miſe every thing, in order to grant nothing . It is
enough, replied Donna Theodora ; I will follow all
your directions, ſince the fatal evil which threatens me,
impoſes on me this cruel neceſſity. Go, Don Juan,
employ all your cares in putting an end to my flavery .
It will be a great addition to the pleaſure of liberty to
owe it to you.
The Toledan, purſuant to his orders, waited on Mez
zomorto , who ſaid , with the utmoſt concern , Well , Al
varo, what newsdo you bring me from the fair llave ?
Have you diſpoſed her to hearken to me? If you tell me
that Iought not to flatter myſelf with the hopes of ever
ſubduing her cruel grief, I ſwear by the head of the
Grand Signior, my maſter, that I will this day ſeize by
force what the has hitherto refuſed to yield to my com
plaiſance. Sir, anſwered Don Juan , that inviolable oath
is needleſs ; you will not be forced to make use of vio .
lence to ſatisfy your love . The ſlave is a young lady
who never yet loved ; ſhe is ſo proud that ſhe has re
jected the addreſſes of the greateſt men in Spain . She
lived like a ſovereign princeſs in her own country, and
is a captive here. A haughty mind long reſents the
great difference betwixt theſe conditions ; yet, Sir, this
proud Spaniſh lady will by degrees grow familiar with
Navery ; and I dare venture to tell you, that already her
chains begin to be lighter. The great deference you
have always ſhewed her, and the refpectful cares which
the did not expect from you, have ſomewhat abated her
forrow , and do by little and little conquer he! pride.
Sooth this favourable diſpoſition, and complete the con
quelt of this fair llave, by fielh marks of respect, and
Q 3 you
 186 THE DEVIL

you will ſoon find her yield to your deſires,2 and loſe the
love of liberty in your arms.
Your words raviſh me, replied the Dey. The hopes
which you have given me , are ſufficient to engage meto
do any thing. Yes , I will reftrain my impatient de
fires, to ſatisfy them better. But do not deceive me : or
art thou not thyself deceived ?. I will immediately go
talk with her, and ſee whether I can diſcover in her eyes
thoſe flattering appearances which you have obſerved .
Theſe words ended , he went to Donna Theodora ; and
Don Juan returned to the garden, where he met the
gardener, who was the dextrous llave by whole induſtry
he promiſed to ſet the widow Cifuentes at liberty . The
gardener, whoſe name was Franciſco , was of Navarre,
He knew Algiers períeStly well, having ſerved ſeveral pa
trons before he lived with the Dey . Franciſco, faid
Don Juan , approaching him , I am extremely afflicted at
what I have ſeen . There is in this palace a young lady
of the firſt quality in Valencia ; ſhe has entreated Mezzo .
morto to let his own price on her ranſom ; but he will
not part with her, becauſe he is in love with her. Alas,
why does that trouble you ſo much ? ſaid Franciſco .
Becauſe I am of the ſame city, replied the Toledlan.
Her relations and mine are intiniate friends, and there is
nothing I would not undertake to contribute to her de
liverance .
Though it is no very eaſy thing; replied Franciſco, I
dare engage to accompliſh it , if this lady's relations will
be pleated to pay very well for this piece of ſervice. Do
not doubt it in the leaſt, returned Don Juan ; I will be
reſponſible for their acknowledgments, but more eſpe
cially for her own gratitude . Her name is Donna Theo
dora ; me is the widow of a man who has left her a
very great eltate, and ſhe is as generous as rich . I am
a Spaniſ gentleman , and my word ought to ſatisfy you .
Well l'eplied the gardener, I will depend on your
promiles, and go look for a rentagade Catalan of my ac
quaintance, and propole it to him. -What do you
lay ? interrupted the Toledan , very much ſurprized:
Can
 UPON TWO STICKS 187
Can you rely on a wretch who has not been aſhamed to
abandon his religion for-- Though a renegade , inter
ropted Franciſco in his turn, he is yet an honeſt man ,
who deferves rather to he pitied than hated ; and if his
crime can admit of any excule, I ſhould indeed be willing
to think him excuſable. I will tell you his ſtory in two
words.
He is a native of Barcelona, and a chirurgeon by pro
feſſion . Perceiving that he did not fucceed in his practice
in bis native place, he reſolved to ſettle at Carthagena ,
hoping that he might thrive better by removing. He
embarked then for Carthagena with his mother ; but
they met an Algerine pirate, who took and brought
them hither. They were ſold ; his mother to a Moor,
and he to‘a Turk , who uſed him ſo very ill ; that he
turned Mahometan to end his cruel (lavery , as allo to
procure the liberty of his mother, who was very rigo
ronfly treated by the Moor , her patron . Then entering
himſelf into the Baſha’s pay, he made ſeveral voyages,
and got four hundred patacoons, part of which he come
ployed in the ranſom of his mother ; and, to improve it,
he intended to rob on the ſea for his own account.
He became a captain, and bought a ſmall veſſel with
out a deck , and with ſome Turkiſh foldiers , who will
ingly joined with him , he went to cruiſe between Car
thagena and Alicant, and returned laden with booty.
He went out again , and his voyage ſucceeded ſo well ,
that at last he fitted out a larger veſſel, with which he
took ſeveral conſiderable prizes : but his good fortune
failing him, he one day attacked an English frigate, who
ſo ſhattered his ſhip that he could ſcarce regain the port
of Algiers; and, as the people of this country judge of
the merit of the pirates by the ſucceſs of their enter
prizes, this renegade began to be deſpiſed by the Turks;
and, growing very unealy and melancholy, he feld his
thip, and retired io a houſe out of town, where, ever
fince, he has lived on the eſtate he has left, with his
mother and ſeveral Naves .
I frequently viſit him , for we lived together with the
jame
 188 THE DEVIL
fame patron, and are very great friends. He has dif
cloſed to me his moſt ſecret thoughts ; and, within theſe
three days, he told me, with tears in lois eyes, that his
mind had never been at reſt ſince he had renounced his
faith ; that, to appeaſe the remorſe which inceliantly
racked his mind , he was ſometimes inclined to quit the
turban , and hazard being burnt alive ; to repair, by a
public acknowledgment of his repentance, the ſcandal
he had caſt on the Chriftians. This is the renegade to
which I deſign to addreſs myſelf, continued Francifco ;
ſuch a man as this you ought not to fufpect. Under
pretence of going to the * bagnio , I will go to his
houſe, and ſuggeſt to him , that, inſtead of conſuming
himſelf with grief for withdrawing himſelf from the bo
fom of the church , he ought to think of the means of re
turning to it : That to execute this deſign, heneed only
equip a Mip , on pretence, that,weary ofan idle life, he
would return to his old trade of cruiſing ; and with this
thip we will gain the coaſt of Valencia, where Donna
Theodora ſhould give him enough to pais the remainder
of his days agreeably at Barcelona.
Yes, my dear Franciſco, cried Don Juan, tranſported
with the hopes which the Navarre ſave gave him , you
may promiſe the renegade every thing; you and he
Mail be ſure to be rewarded . But do you believe this
project really practicable in the manner you have formed
it ? It may meet with ſome difficulties which I do not
forefie, replied Franciſco, but the renegade and I will
remove them . `Alvaro , added he, as he was leaving
him , I have a very good opinion of our enterprize, and
hope, at my return , to bring you good news. It was
not without anxiety that Don Juan waited for Franciſco ,
who returned in three or four hours . I have talked
with the renegade, ſaid be, and propoſed our deſign to
him ; and, after mature deliberation, we have agreed
that he ſhall buy a small fhip, ready fitted to go out ;
anı , it being allowed to make uſe of llaves for sailors,
he Thall man the vefiel with his own ; that , to prevent
fufpicion ,
* That is the place where the Naves meet.
 UPON TWO STICKS . 189
ſuſpicion, he ſhould engage twelve Turkiſh ſoldiers, as
though he really intended to go out to cruile ; but that
two days before that which he ſhould aſſign for his de
parture, he ſhould einbark in the night with his flaves,
weigh anchor without any noiſe, and come to ferch us
on board with his ſkiff, from a little door of this garden
near the ſea. This is the plan of our enterpriſe : you
may inform the captive lady of this , and aſſure her that,
within fifteen days at fartheſt, fe Ihall be freed from
her ilavery .
How inexpreſſible was Zarate's joy, to have ſuch a
comfortable aſſurance to carry to Donna Theodora! To
obtain permiſſion to ſee her, he the next day ſearched for
Mezzomorto, and having found him, Pardon me, my
Lord , ſaid he, if I prelume to aſk you how you found
the beautiful llave ? Are you better ſatisfied ?-Iam
charmed , interrupted the Dey; her eyes did not turn
away from my tendereſt addreffes ; her diſcourſe, which
always before conſiſted only of endleſs reflections on her
condition, was not intermixed with any complaints ;
but ſhe even feemed to liften to mine with an obliging
attention . It is to your endeavours, Alvaro, that I
owe this change. I ſee you know your own country .
women ; I will have you talk with her again . Finith
what you have ſo happily begun ; exhaust all your'wit
and addreſs to haſten my felicity , and I will then break
your chains; and 'I ſwear by the ſoul of our great Pro .
phet, that I will ſend you home to your own country
fo richly laden with preſents, that the Chriſtians, when
they see thee, ſhall not believe thou returneſt from
Navery.
The Toledan did not fail to flatter Mezzomorto's er
ror ; he feigned himſelf extremely ſenſible of his pro
miſes ; and, under pretence of haftening the accom
pliſhment of the Dey's joys , he haftened to ſee the fair
ſave, whom he found alone in her apartment, the
old women who attended her being employed elſe ,
where . He told her what the Navarre ſlave and the re
negade had contrived, on the credit of the promiſes
which
 190 THE DEVIL
which he liad made them . It was no ſmall confolatiori for
Donna Theodora, to hear that ſuch proſperous meaſures
were taken for her deliverance . Is it poſſible, ſaid ſhe,
in the exceſs of her joy, that I may hope to ſee Valen
cia,mydear country, again ? How traniporting will the
bliſs be, after ſo many fears and dangers, to live at eaſe
with you ! Ah, Don Juan, how charming is that
thought! Will you fhare that pleaſure with nie ? Do
you think, that, in delivering me from the Dey, it is
your wife which you tear from him ?
Alas, anſwered Zarate, with a profound ſigh, thoſe
endearing words would charm me , if the remembrance
of an unhappy friend did not throw in a bitter which
ſpoils all the ſweetneſs ! Pardon me, Madam , that
nicety , and confeſs alſo that Mendoca deſerves your
pity ; it is for your ſake that he went from Valencia,
and loſt his liberty. I can aſſure you , that at Tunis he
is leſs loaded with the weight of his chains, than the
deſpair of ever revenging your ſufferings. He doubt
lels deſerved a better fate, interrupted Donna Theodora;
I take heaven to witneſs that I am thoroughly fenfible
of all that he has done for me . I ſhare with him the
ſufferings which I have cauſed ; but, by the cruel malig
nity of the ſtars, my heart can never be the prize of his
fufferings.
Thisconverſation was interrupted by the arrival of
the two old women who waited on Donna Theodora ;
when Don Juan turned the diſcourſe, and acting the
Dey's confident; Yes, charming llave, faid he to the
widow Cifuentes, you have deprived him of liberty who
keeps you in chains . Mezzomorto, your matter and
mine, the moſt engaging and moſt amiable of all the
Turks , is very well pleaſed with you ; continue to
treat him favourably, and you will loon fee an end of
your griefs. At the end of theſe laſt words he left
Donna Theodora, who did not comprehend their true
ſenſe .
Affairs remained during eight days in this poſture
at the Dey's palace, whilst the renegade Catalan
bought
 UPON TWO STICKS . 191
bought a ſmall veſſel almoſt wholly fitted for failing,
and prepared for his departure . But ſix days before he
was ready to put to fea, Don Juan met with what very
much alarmed his fears. Mezzomorto ſent for him ,
and being entered his cloſet, Alvaro, ſaid he, you are
free ; you may return to Spain wherever you pleaſe;
and the preſents which I promiſed you are ready.' I
ſaw the fair ſlave to -day ; and oh , how vaftly different
does the appear from the ſame perſon whoſe griefs have
given me ſo much pain ! The ſenſe of her captivity
every day wears off. I found her ſo charming, that I
have this moment reļolved to marry her. She ſhall be
my wife within the ſpace of two days. At theſe words
the Toledan changed colour ; and , notwithſtanding all
the reſtraint he laid on himſelf, could not hide his dif
. turbance and tirprize from the Dey, who alked him the
cauſe of that diſorder.
My Lord , anfwered Don Juan , all in confufion , I
am doubtleſs very much amazed, to think that one of
the greateſt lords of the Ottoman empire ſhould fo de
baſe himſelf as to marry a ſlave. I very well know it
is not unprecedented amongit you ; but for the illuftri
ous Mezzomorto, who may pretend to the daughter of
the principal officers of thePorte - I allow what you ſay,
interrupted the Dey. I might at the ſame time aſpire to
the Grand Vizir's daughter, and flatter myſelf with the
hopes of ſucceeding my fatlier - in - law ; but I have an
iminenſe eſtate, and am not very ambitious. I prefer
the eaſe and pleafure which I enjoy licre in my Vizir
thip , to that dangerous honour, to which we are no
ſooner raiſed , than the fear of the Sultans , and the jea
louſy of thoſe near them , who envy us, precipitate us
into the loweſt abyſs of miſery . Belides, I love my
Save, and her beauty qualifies her to deſerve the dignity
to which my affection invites her. But, adds he, in
oriler to deferve the honours I deſign her, the mult this
very day change her religion . Do you believe that any
ridiculous prejudices will prevail on her to deſpite my
offers ? No, my Lord, returned the Toledan , I am per.
3 fuaded
 THE DEVIL
192
ſuaded that ſhe will ſacrifice all to ſuch a high elevation .
But give me leave to tell you , that you ought not to
marry her ſo haftily : do nothing rafhly ; it is not to be
doubted , but that the thoughts of abandoning the reli
gion fucked in with her mother's milk will Itartle her
at firſt. Give her then time to conſider of it . When the
repreſents to herſelf, that, inſtead of diſhonouring, and
afterwards ſuffering her to grow old and neglected
amongſt the reſt of your captives, you join her to your
ſelf by ſuch a glorious marriage, lier gratitude and va .
nity will by little and little remove her ſcruples. Defer
therefore the execution of your deſign for eight days
only .
The Dey continued ſome time thinking. He did
not at all like the delay his confident propoſed ,
whoſe advice however appeared reaſonable . I yield to
your reaſon , interrupted the Dey ; though I am ſo im
patient to enjoy the fair ſlave, I will yet wait eight
days. Go immediately to her, and diſpoſe her to ac
compliſh my deſires at the expiration of that time. I
deſire that the ſame Alvaro, who has ſo faithfully dif
charged himſelf with regard to her, may have the honour
to offer her my matrimonial faith . Don Juan flew to
the apartment of Donna Theodora , and informed her
what paſſed betwixt Mezzomcrto and him , that ſhe
might regulate herſelf accordingly. He alſo told her
that the renegade's ſhip would be ready in fix days : but
the told himn that ſhe was in great pain to know how
the ſhould get out of her apartment, ſince all the doors
of the chanibers, through which ſhe was obliged to paſs
to reach the ftairs , were cloſe fhut. You ought not to
give yourſelf much trouble on that account , Madam ,
faid Don Juan ; one of your cloſet-windows opens into
the garden , and from thence you may deſcend by a
ladder wlich I will provide you .
Accordingly , the ſix days being expired, Franciſco
advertiſed the Toledan , that the renegade was prepar
ing to depart the next night, which you may very well
think was expected with great impatience. The time
came
 UPON TWO STICKS . 193
came at laſt, and what rendered it yet more lucky, was ,
that it grew very dark . When the moment deſtined
for the execution of their enterpriſe came, Don Juan
raiſed the ladder to Donna Theodora's cloſet- window,
who no ſooner ſaw it , then the deſcended on it with the
utmoſt concern and halte , and then leaned on the falfe
Alvaro, who conducted her to the little garden -door,
which opened on the ſea. They made all poſſible haſte,
and beforehand ſeemed to taſte the pleaſures of being
freed from ſlavery : but fortune, who was not perfectly
reconciled to theſe lovers , raiſed a more cruel misfortune
than all thoſe which they had hitherto ſuffered , and
whom they could not foreſee.
They were got out of the garden, and haſtening to the
fea- ſide to reach the boat, which waited for them , when
a man , whom they took for one of their crew , and
whom they did not at all miſtruſt , came directly to Don
Juan, with a naked ſword , and running him into the
breaſt, Perſidious Alvaro Ponce, cried he, it is thus
that Don Fadrique de Mendoca is obliged to puniſh a
villainous ravisher. You do not deſerve that I ſhould
attack you like a man of honour.
Don Juan could not reſiſt the force of the puſh, which
threw him down ; and at the ſame time Donna Theodora,
whom he ſupported , ſeized at once with amazement,
grief, and the fright , fwooned away on the other ſide.
Ah ! Mendoca , laid the Toledan , what have you done ?
It is Don Juan that you have wounded ! Juſt Heaven !
replied Don Fadrique, is it poſſible that I mould aſiaf.
finate - I forgive you my death , returned Zarate .
Fate alone is to be blamed , or rather it was deſigner
thus to put an end to our miſeries . Yes , my dear Men
doca , I die contended , ſince I put into your hands the
beautiful Theodora, who can aſure you that my friend
fhip for you has never been violated. Too generous
friend , ſaid Don Fadrique, ſeized with a violent deſpair,
you shall not die alone ; the fame iword which plungen
mus cruelly into your breait, hali punih your mur
derer . Though my miſtake may excule my crime, it
R cannot
 194 THE DEVIL
cannot comfort me. At theſe words he turned the
point of the Sword to his breaſt, run it up to the hilt,
and fell upon Don Juan, who fainted away, leſs enfee
bled by his own wound than his friend's rage.
Franciſco and the renegade, who were but ten paces
off, and who had their reaſons which detained thein
from running to the affiftance of the flave Alvaro, wole
extremely aftoniſhed to hear Don Fadrique's words,
and to ſee his laſt action . They then found their mifa
take, and that the wounded men were two friends, and
not mortal enemies, as they thought. They ran to
their aſſiſtance ; but finding them lenſeleſs as well as
Dorna Theodora, who yet remained in her (woon,
they were at a loſs what meaſures to take. Francilco
was of opinion that they ſhould content themſelves with
carrying off the lady, and leave the gentlemen on the
More, where, according to all appearances, they would
immediately die, if they were not yet dead . But the
renegade was not of that opinion. He concluded they
ought not to be left ; that their wounds might perliaps
not be mortal ; and that he could dreſs them on board ,
where he had all the inſtruments of his former trade,
which he had not yet forgotten. Franciſco fell in with
his opinion .
As he was not ignorant ofwhat importance it was
to be expeditious, the renegadeand he, by the aſſistance
of ſome flaves , carried into their ſkiff the unhappy wi
dow Cifuentes, and her two lovers , yet more unfortu
nate than ſhe; and in a very a few minutes reached their
ſhip. As ſoon as they were all got on board , fome of
them ſpread their fails, whilſt others on their knees on
the deck implored the aſſiſtance of heaven, by the moſt
fervent petitions which the fear of being purſued by
Mezzomorto's (hips could inſpire.
The renegade, after having charged with the ma
nagementof the ſhip a French ſave, who underſtood
it perfectly well , applied himníelf firit to Donna Theo
dora, whom he recovered out of her (woon , and then
took ſuch ſucceſsful care of Don Fadrique and the Tole
dan ,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 195
dan, that they alſo recovered their tenſes. The widow
Cifuentes, who fainted away at the light of Don Juan's
being wounded , was very much furpriſed to find Men
doca there ; and though at the fight of himn ſhe really
believed that he had fallen on his own ſword for grief
of having woulded his friend , yet the could not look
or bim otherwiſe than the murderer of the man the
loved . It was certainly the moſt moving ſcene in the
would , to ſee theſe three perfons returned to themſelves;
and the condition out of which they had been recovered,
though a reſemblance of deatii, did not more deſerve
pity . Donna Theodora earneſi ly looked on Don Juan,
with eyes in which were painted, in lively colours, all
the emotions of a foul overwhelmed with grief and delo
pair. And the two friends fixed on her their dying
eyes, feely uttering the moſt profound lighs.
After having for ſome time kept a filence equally
tender and unhappy, Don Fadrique thus broke it, by
addreſſing himſelf to the widow Cifuentes : Madam,
faid he, before I die, I have yet the fatisfaction to ſee
you delivered out of flavery ; would to heaven that you
were indebted for your liberty to me ; but it has ap
pointed that you ſhould owe that obligation to the man
you love. I love that rival too well to murmur at it,
and with that the wound, which I have been ſo unhappy,
as to give him , may not prevent the full enjoyment of
your grateful acknowledgements. The ladly made no
anſwer to thele words; but, far from being then ſenſible
of the melancholy fate of Don Fadrique , ſhe was only
influenced by the averſion to him which the preſent
condition of the Toledan had inſpired .
In the mean time the chirurgeon prepared to examine
and probe the wounds. He began with that of Don
Juan, and did not find it dangerous, by reaſon the paſs
had onlyglanced below the lett pap ,and had not touch
es an
t y of the nobler vital parts. This report of the
chirurgeon very much abated Donna Theodora's afa
fiction , and equally rejoiced Don Fadrique; who turn
ing his head toward that lady, I am fatisfied, ſaid he ;
R 2 I leave
 196 THE DEVIL
I leave this life without regret, ſince my friend is out
of danger: I ſhall not then die laden with your hate .
Theſe words were uttered with ſuch a moving air,
that Theodora was touched by them ; and as her fear
for Don Juan grew uver, the ceaſed to hate Don Fa
drique, and no longer looked on him otherwile than on
a man who deſerved her pity. Ah, Mendoca, cried the,
influenced by a generous tranſport, let your wound be
dreſſed , it is not perhaps more dangerous than that of
your friend . Oh, yield to our care of your life ; and it
I cannot make you happy, at leaſt I will not beſtow
that felicity on another ; but out of compaſſion and
tenderneſs for you , I will withhold the hand which I
deſigned to give Don Juan , and offer to you the ſame
facrifice which he has made you .
Don Fadrique was going to reply, but the chirurgeon,
afraid that ſpeaking might prejudice him , obliged him
to filence ,and ſearched his wound , which he judged mor
tal, by reaſon the ſword had pierced the upper part of
his lungs, as he concluded from his exceſſive Aux of
blood , the conſequence of which was very much to be
feared. As ſoon as he had drelled the gentlemen, he
cauſed them to be carried to his own cabin , to repoſe
them on two beds, one next the other, and conducted
Donna Theodora thither, whole preſence lie thought
would not be prejudicial to then .
Notwithſtanding all this care, Mendoca fell into a fe
ver, and towards night the flux of blood augmented.
The chirurgeon then told him he was incurable, and in
formed him that it he had any thing to ſay to his friend,
or to Donna Theodora, he had no time to lose . This
news Itzangely afflicted the Toledan ; but Don Fadrique
received it with indifference. He lent for the widow
Cifuentes , who came to him in a condition much eafier
to be imagined than deſcribed . Her face was covered
with tears , and the ſobbed with ſo much violence, that the
diſturbed Mendoca . Madam , ſaid he, I am unworthy
thoſe precious tears that you thed : Retrain them , I
beg, for a moment. I alk the lame of you , dear Zarate,
adus
 UPON TWO STICKS. 197
adds he,obſerving the inſupportable griefwhich his friend
fhewed . I know that this ſeparation muſt ſenſibly af
flict you. I am too wellacquainted with your friendſhip
to doubt it ; but I beſeech you to ſtay till my death ,
and reſerve theſe tears to honour it with fo many marks
of tenderneſs and pity : ſuſpend your grief till then , ſince
that touches me more than the loſs of iny life . I mult
acquaint you through what meanders of fate I was con
ducted to this fatal ſhore, where I have tainted myſelf
with my friend's blood and with my own. You muſt
be in pain to know how I could take Don Juan for Don
Alvaro ; but I will immediately inform you,if the fmall
remainder of life will allow me to make that melancholy
diſcovery .
Some hours after the ſhip in which Iwas had quitted
that wherein I left Don Juan , we met a French privateer,
which attacked and took the Tunis (hip, and let us on
More at Alicant . I was no fooner at liberty, than I
thought of ranfo.ning Don Juan , to which end I went
to Valencia and railed money ; and on advice that at
Barcelona there were ſeveral monks of the order for the
redemption of Naves ready to ſet out for Algiers, I re
folved not to lose this occafion . But before I left Va .
lencia, I intreated Don Franciſco de Mendoca, my un.
cle, to uſe all his intereſt at the court of Spain to oh .
tain a pardon for my friend, becauſe my deſign was to
bring him back with me, and re - eltabliſh hiu in his
eftate, which was confiſcated after the death of the
Duke of Naxera .
As ſoon as we were arrived at Algiers, I went to the
places frequented by flaves ; but having run through
all of them, I did not find what I ſearched for . I met
the Catalan renegade to whom this veſel belongs,
whom I remembered formerly to have been in my un
cle's ſervice. I told him the occaſion of my voyage ,
and delired liim to make a ſtrict ſearch for my friend. I
am forry, Sir, ſaid he, I cannot ſerve you . I an to
leave Algiers to- night with a lady of Valencia, who is
a flave of the Dey . Pray what is the lady's name ? ſaid
Iler name, replied lie, is Theodora . My
 198 THE DEVIL

My ſurpriſe at hearing this was enough to let the

renegade ſee that I was concerned for that lady . He
diſcovered to me the deſign he had laid to knock off her
chains. And as he mentioned one Alvaro in his ſtory,
I did not doubt but it was Alvaro Ponce himſelf. Al
fiſt my reſentment, cried I, tranſported, to the rene
gade; heip me to revenge myſelf on my enemy. You
žhall foon te ſatisfied , anſwered he ; but let me firſt
know your cauſe of complaint againit Alvaro. Upon
this I told him our whole ſtory: and he having heard
it, It is enougli, cried he : you need only accompany me
on the night choſen for our departure, where you will ſee
your enemy ; and after you have puniſhed him , you
fall take his place, and join with us in conducting Donna
Theodora to Valencia . Yet this impatience did not
hinder my ſearch alter Don Juan ; but deſpairing
to hear any news of him , I left money for his raniom
in the hands of an Italian merchant, named Franciſco
Capati , who lives at Algiers, and undertook his ran
fom it he could ever find him .
At laſt, the night appointed for our departure and
my reveuge came, when I went to the renegade, who
led me to that part of the lea - fhore behind Mezzomorto's
gardens. We ſtopt at a little door that foon opened,
whence came out a man who made directly up to us ,
pciming with his finger to a man and woman who were
coming alter him . Thoſe wlio follow me, ſaid he, are
Alvaro and Donna Theodora. At this fight, enraged
to the laſt degree , I drew my ſword , ran to the untor
tunate Alvaro, and , perſuaded that it was my hateful
rival whom I was approaching, I wounded that faith
ful friend whoſe uncertain dettiny was the cauſe of all
my diſturbance. But, thanks to heaven, continued he,
in a ſofrer tone, my miſtake will neither coſt him his
life, nor the eternal tears of Donna Theodora.
Ah, Mendoca , interrupted the lady , you injure my
affliction ; I fall never comfort myself for the lots of
you ; for though I Nould even marry your friend , it
would be only uniting our griefs : your love, your
friendſhip,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 199
friendſhip, and your misfortunes , would be the whole
ſubject of our diſcourse. It is too much , Madam , re
plied Don Fadrique ; I am not worthy your lo long
inourning for me . Allow , I conjure youi, Zarate to
marry you, after he ſhall have revenged you of Alvaro
Ponce . Don Alvaro is no more , replied the widow Ci
fuentes ; the same day that he ſeized me, he was killed
by the pirate who took me . Madam , ſaid Mendoca,
this news gives me pleaſure : my friend will the tooner
be happy ; follow without re!traint the guidance of your
mutual paſſion. I fee with joy the moment approach
ing, which will remove the obstacle your companion
and his generoſity have raiſed to prevent your mutual
happineis. May all your days be tpent in repoſe and
union, which the jealouſy of fortune may not dare to
difturb. Adieu, Madam ; adiep , Don Juan ; vouch
ſafe both of you fometimes to remember a man who
never loved any ſo well as you.
The lady and the Toledan, inſtead of anſwering,
redoubled their tears . Don Fadrique, who perceived
it , and found himlelf very ill , thus continuedi : I grow
too tender ; death has already ſurrounded me, and I
forget to ſupplicate the divine goodneis to pardon my
having ſhortened a life which it alone ought to have
diſpoſed of. At theſe words he lifted up his eyes to
heaven with all the ſigns of a fincere repentance ; and
the flux of blood immediately occafioned a fuffocation ,
which carried him off. Then Don Juan, hurried by
his deſpair, tore off his plaiiters , and would have ren
dered his wound incurable ; but Franciſco and the rene
gade threw themſelves on him , and oppoſed his diſtrac
tion ; and Donna Theodora, terribly affrighted at this
furious tranſport, affiited thein both in diverting Don
Juan from his deſign. She belought him with ſuch a
moving air, that, returning to himself, he luifered his
wound to be again bound up ; and at lait the iniereft of a
lover, by ſlow degrees, abated the rage of a friend . But if
he recovered his realon, it ferved only to preverit the dire
tracted effects ofhisgrief,and not to diminiſh the les.leotit,
3 The
 200 THE DEVIL
The renegade, who, amongſt other things he had
brought out of Spain , had ſome excellent Arabian bal
ſam and precious perfumes, embalmed Mendoca's bo
dy at the inſtance of the lady and Don Juan , who af
ſured him that at Valencia they would perform all the
honours of his fepulchre. The two lovers too paſſion
ately indulged their grief all the while they were on
board ; but the reſt were more chearful , and the wind
being favourable , they were not long before they diſco
vered the coasts of Spain.
At that fight all the flaves yielded themſelves up to
joy ; and when the veſſel was happily arrived at the
port of Denia , every one took a different courte. The
widow Cifuentes and the Toledan fent a courier to Va.
lencia with letters for the governor, and Donna Theo
dora's family . The news of that lady's return was re
ceived with all poſſible expreffions of joy by all her re
lations ; but Don Franciſco de Mendoca was extremely
afficted at the loſs of his nephew ; he diſcovered it very
plainly when he acconipanied the widow Cituentes's ré
Tations to Denia, where he defired to ſee the corpſe of
the unfortunate Don Fadrique. The good old man
then melted into tears, and uttered ſuch lamentable
complaints, as ſenſibly touched all the ſpectators. He
enquired by what adventure his nephew feil.
I will tell you , my Lord , ſaid the Toledan : far
from blotting it out of my memory, I take a melan
choly plaſme in continually calling it to mind , and
feeding my forrows. He then related to him the fad ac.
cident; and the recital of his ftory drawing reth tears
from hiin , redoubled thoſe of Don Franciico. As for
Donna Theodora, her relations expreſſed their great
joy to ſee her again, and telicitated her on the miracu.
lous manner ofher delivery from the tyranny of Meza
zomorto . After a perfect relation of all particulars,
Don Fadrique's corpſe was put into a coach , and care
ried to Valencia , but not buried there ; becaule Don
Franciſco de Mendoca, preparing to live at Madrid,
refolved to have his nephew's body carried to that city,
While
 UPON TWO STICKS . 201

While all manner of preparations were making for

their journey, the wiilow Cifuentes loaded Franciſco
and the renegade with preſents equal to their wiſhes .
Franciſco went to Navarre, and the renegade imme
diately returned with his mother to Barcelona ; there ,
having renounced his errors , and reconciled himſelf to
the church, he lives in a reputable manner at this pre
fent time.
In the mean while alſo, Don Franciſco received a
packet from the court, wherein was Don Juan's par
don ; which the king , notwithſtanding the great value
he had for the boule of Naxera, could not refuſe the
Mendocas', who all joined in foliciting it . This news
was the more agreeable to the Toledan, becaule it pro
.
cured him the liberty of accompanying the corple of
his friend, which he durft not have done without it .
At laſt they all ſet forwards, accompanied with a great
number of perſons of quality ; and as ſoon as they ar
rived at Madrid, they buried the corpie of Don Fa
driqne in a church , where Zarate and Donna Theodora
raiſed a noble monument over his srave. They did not
ſtop there, but kept ihemtelves in mourning for their
friend for the ſpace of a whole year , to eternile their
grief and friendlhip.
After having given ſuch ſignal marks of their tender
nels for Mendoca , they inarried ; but, by an inconceiv .
able effect of the power of friendhip , Don Juan long
retained his melancholy for his friend, which nothing
was able to remove . Don Fadrique was always preſent
in his thouglits ; he ſaw him every night in his dreams,
and generally juſt as he had ſeen hin breathing his laſt.
But yet his reaſon began to diſpel theſe melancholy
views ; and Donna Theolora's charms , with which he
was captivated , triumphed , by little and little, over
the fad remembrance of Mendeça . To. conclude, at
lalt Don Juan was going to live happily, and very con .
tentedly ; but a few days past he fell from his horſe , as
be was hunting, and hurt his head ; the wound grew to
an impoithume,ſo that the phylicians could not lave him ..
He
 203 THE DEVIL

He is juſt dead ; and Theodora, the lady whom you ſee

in the arms of two women who are watching her difa
traction, may probably foon follow him .
CHAP . XVII .
Of DREAMS.
WHENAſmodeushad ended hisſtory, Don Cleofas
ſaid to him , This is a very fine image of friendſhip ,
but it is rare to find two men love one another like Don
Juan and Don Fadriqué ; and I believe it will be inore
difficult to meet with two ladies ſo good friends,asgene
roully to make a reciprocal facrifice of their lovers to
each other. Without doubt, ſays the devil , it is what '
has not been yet, and never will be ſeen in this world :
women are not lo complaiſant to one another . Suppoſe
two ladies love each other to an unuſual degree, their
friendſhip may be tender and ſincere, and they may even
forbear ſpeaking ill of one another in abfence; ſuch good
friends may they be, and that, I aſſure you, is a great
deal; yet if you meet with them , and incline more to
the one than the other, rage preſently ſeizes the fair one
that is flighted ; not thatthe loves you, but ſhe would
be preferred, 'This is the nature of all women ; they
are too jealous one of another to be capable of friend
thip .
The ſtory of theſe two unparalleled friends, replied
Leandro Perez, is a little romantic, and has taken us
up too much time. The night is already far advanced ,
and we hall immediately ſee the day begin to break.
But ſtill I expect a fresh entertainment from you . I
fee abundance of people aſleep, and thould be glad to
know what they are dreaming of. With all my heart,
anſwered the dæmon . I ſee you love variety, and I will
oblige you . I fancy, ſaid Zambullo, I Thall hear a
great many very ridiculous dreams. Why fo ? anſwer
ed the cripple. You , who are maſter of Ovid, must
know what the poet ſays , that it is towards day -break
that dreams are truelt, becauſe at that time the fou ! is
diſengaged from the vapours ariſing from digeſtion.
For my part, replied the ſtudent, whatever Ovid may
pleale
 UPON TWO STICKS . 203
pleaſe to ſay on this matter, I have no faith in dreams.
You are in the wrong, then, anſwered Aſmodeus ; one
fhould neither believe them all, nor treat them all as
chimerical, for they are a ſort of liars that fometimes
ſpeak truth . The emperor Auguſtus, whoſe head ſure
was as good as a ſtudent's , defpife:t no dreams wherein
he found himſelf concerned ; and , at the battle of Phi
lippi, was very near leaving his tent, upon the recital of
a dream relating to him . I could give a thouſand in
ftances to convince you of your raſhneſs, but ſhall paſs
them over to oblige you in this new inclination you ſo
much long to have ſatisfied.
Let us begin with that fine houſe on the right hand ;
the maſter of it, whom you ſee ſleeping in thoſe rich
lodgings, is a liberal and debauched count ; he is
dreaming that he is at the play, that he hears a young
actreſs ſing, and is conquered by the voice of this Syren.
In the next apartment lies the counteſs his wife, who
loves play to madneſs. She is dreaming that ſhe lias no
money, and is pawning her jewels to a jeweller, who
lends her three hundred piſtoles on them at common in
tereft .
In the next houſe to this lives a marquis, who is in
love with a famous coquette ; he dreams that he has
borrowed a confiderable ſum of money to make her a
preſent ; and his iteward, who lies in that little cham
ber' there, a ſtory higher, that he is growing rich as
his maſter grows poor. Well , what think you of theſe
two dreams; do they appear extravagant? No, really ,
replied Don Cleüfus ; I find Ovid was in the right:
but I would very fain know what ſpark that is who is
alleep with his muſtachios in papers, like ladies favour .
ites, and in his fleep has an air of gaiety, which per,
1 fuades me he is no vulgar fellow . It is a country.gen .
CI
tleman , replied Arnodeus , a viſcount of Arragon ,
proud and vain ; his ſoulis this very moment ſwimining
in joy, for he dreams that he is with a great lord of
the court, who gives him the place of honour at a pub
lic ceremony .
But
 204 THE DEVIL
But in the ſame houſe I ſee two brothers , phyſicians,
who are in very mortifying dreams: one dreams that
there is a law made, forbidding any one to give a phy
fician a fee , unleſs the patient be cured ; and his bio
ther, that there is an order publiſhed , requiring all doc
tors to go into mourning for all the patients that die under
their hands. Would to God, quoth the ſtudent, ihis
Jaſt order was true, and every doctor was obliged to go
to the funeral of his patients , as the lieutenant- criminal
in France is bound to be preſent at the execution of the
malefactor lie has condemned . The compariſon is juft,
replied the devil ; all the difference is , chat the latter
may be ſaid to lee bis fentence put in execution, where
as the other has already executed his.
Here Dün Cleofas interrupted the dæmon, crying,
See, lee, who is that gentleman there, that rubs his
eyes , and gets up to hartıly ? It is a courtier, replied
the devil, who is foliciting for a govertiment in new
Spain ; a terrible dream has awaked him : He dreained
the first miniſter had looked coldly on him . I iceto a
young creature that ſeems jift waked , and not very wel
pleated with her dream . It is a young lady of condi
tion , one as prudent as ſhe is beautiful, who is beliegid
by two lovers. She has a very great tendernels for the
one, and a horrid avertion for the other. She juit now
ſaw, in her dream , the gallant the deteſts at her feet ;
and he ſhewed ſo much love, and was to preſſing, that,
had the not waked, ne was going to treat him with
more kindneſs than the ever treated the other the loves .
During ſleep, nature throws off the reltraints of realca
and virtue.
Look upon that houſe at the corner of that ſtrect ;
there lives an attorney ; fee, he is in bed witli bis wite,
in a chamber hung with old tapestry hangings with an
tiqi e figures : he dreams that he is going to pay a vitit
to one of his clients in the alms- house , and gives him
charity out of his own pocket ; and his wife, that her
huſband has turned a young clerk , of whom be was
jealous, out of doors.
I hiar
 UPON TWO STICKS . 205
I hear ſomebody ſnore, ſays the stulent, and believe
it is that fat fellow there, in the little room , on the left
hand of us . The very fame, replied Almodens; it is
a prebend dreaming he is ſaying his prayers .
Next to him is a mercer, who ſells very dear bargains
to people of quality, but all upon truſt; he has above
ten thouſand crowns owing him . He dreams his debt
crs are bringing him hismoney ; and his creditors are
dreaming that he is on the point of breaking. Theſe
two dreams , ſaid the ſtudent, did not come out of the
temple of neep by the ſame gate. No, I aſſure yoii,
replied the dæmon : the firſt for certain came out of
the ivory gate, and the ſecond at that of horn .
In the houſe next to the mercer lives a famous hook
ſeller ; he printed a book that went off very well a little
while ago . When he bought it, he promiſed to give
the author fifty piſtoles on a ſecond edition ; and he
dreams now of reprinting it without giving him any
notice of it . Ab ! does he ſo ? ſays Cleotas ; I need
not aſk out of which gate this dream came, and I do
not doubt but it will prove one of the trueſt that ever
he had in his life. I am acquainted with thoſe ivorthy.
gentlemen, the bookſellers ; they make no manner of
conſcience of cheating their authors. The dæmon an
ſwered, Very true ; but you ſhould ſpeak what you
know of thoſe worthy gentlemen , the authors, too.
Upon my word , they have no more conſcience than the
bookſellers. A little adventure that happened not a
hundred years ago at Madrid ſhall convince you of
it .
Three bookſellers were at ſupper together at a tavern :
The converſation turned upon the ſcarcity of good mo
dern books : thereupon one of them faid , As you are
my friends, I will tell you in confidence, what a bar
gain I had fome days ago . I bought a copy : it was a
litele dear indeed , but written hy ſuch a hant!-mo It
is old gold ! Another of them then took up the dif
courie , telling them what a bargain he had the day be
fore. And I, too, gentlemen , cried the third, in his
S turn ,
 206 THE DEVIL
turn, will be as communicative as either of you ; I have
a jewel of a manuſcript to thew you, and it was but
this very day I had this lucky hit. At the ſame time
each drew out of their pockets the valuable copy they
had been talking of, and as it appeared to be a new
piece for the itage, called the Wandering Jew , they
were in amaze to ſee the ſame copy had been ſold to
them all three .
In another houſe, continued he, I ſee a timorous re
ſpectful lover, who is juſt awake . He is in love with
a briſk young widow , and dreamed that he had her in
the middle of a wood, where he ſaid abundance of ſoft
things to her, and the to him : As , Ah ! there's no re .
Sifting you : I ſhould yield to you, if I was not on my
guard againſt all mankind ; they are ſofalje, I darenot
truſt them upon their words; I am for actions. What
actions, Madam , replied the lover, do you require of me ?
Mujt I undertake the twelve labours of Hercules to shew
my love ? No, no, Don Nicaſio, ſays the lady, I do not
demand any ſuch thing of you , I only and then he
awoke .
Pray, ſays the ſtudent, tell me why the man who is
aſleep in yonder dark - coloured bed talks to himſelf as
if he was poffeffed . The devil anſwered, Oh ! that is
a notable licentiate, who is in a dream that puts him
in a terrible agitation ; it is no leſs than thathe is in
diſpute, and maintaining the immortality of the foul
againit a little doctor of phyſic,' who is as good a ca
tholic as phyſician . On the ſecond floor with the licen
tiate lives a gentleman of Eliremadura, named Baltaz
zor Franfarronico, who is come poſt to court, to demand
a reward for having killed a Portugueſe with a blun
derbuſs. Do you know what he is dreaming of ? why,
that they have given him the government of Antequere,
and yet he is not satisfied ; he thinks he deſerves a vice
royalty.
I ſee two perſons of conſequence in furniſhed lodgings,
dreaming very diſagreeably. One of them , governor of
a fort, dreams he is belieged in it, and , after a weak
relillance,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 207
reſiſtance, he is obliged to ſurrender himſelf and his gare
riſon priſoners of war. The other is the biſhop of Mur
cia . This eloquent prelate has orders to preach a ſermon
at the funcral of a princeſs, which is to be in two days .
He dreams he is in the pulpit, and that he ſtops Thortat
the very entrance of his diſcourle. It is not impoſſible,
ſaid Don Cleofas, for ſuch an unlucky accident really to
happen . No, indeed, replied the devil , and it is not
long lince it happened in good earneſt to his Lordſhip
on ſuch another occaſion .
Shall I thew you a man that is uſed to walk in his
Neep ? Only look into the ſtables belonging to this houſe,
and tell me what you ſee there. I diſcern, Said Leandro
Perez , a man in his ſhirt with a curry - comb in his hand .
So he has , replied the devil ; it is a groom ſleeping, who
every night riſes out of his bed , and curries his horſes
in his sleep, and then goes to bed again . The people
of the houſe think it is fome whimſical ſpirit, and the
groom himſelf is of their mind .
In that great houſe over the way lives an old knight
of the goldenfleece, who was formerly Viceroy of Mexico.
He is fallen fick, and as he apprehends heMall die, his
viceroyalty begins to make him uneaſy. Indeed , his
conduct in it is enough to make him fo. The records
of New Spain do not ſpeak of him with honour. He
has juſt had a dream , the horror of which is not quite
over, and probably it may ſend him into the other
world .
.
This dream , then, ſaid Zambullo, muſt be very ex
traordinary. You ſhall hear it, replied Aſmodeus ; it
has ſomething very odd in it . This lord jutt now dream
ed that he was in the regions of the dead, where all the
-1
Mexicans, who have been the victims of his injuſtice and
cruelty, came pouring in upon him, loading him with
injurious and reproachful language, and would even
have torn him to pieces , but that he took to his heels,
and ſo eſcaped their fury. After which, he found him .
ſelf in a great hall hung with black cloth, where were
his father and grandfather fitting at a table with three
S 2 covers
 208 THE DEVIL

covers on it. Theſe two mournful gueſts made ſigns to

him to come near them ; and his father ſaid , with the
gravity uſual to the deceaſed, We have long expected
you ; come, and take your place amongſt us . The villain
is mad , cried the ſtudent ; we muſt pardon a fick man if
he is light-headed . In return , ſaid the cripple, his
niece, who lies in the apartment over him , is paſſing
the night moſt deliciouſly. Her numbers offer to her
the most agreeable ideas. She is between twenty and
thirty ; ugly and ill-made, and is dreaming that her un
cle, whole lole heir te is , is dead ; and that a crowd of
young noblemen are flocking about her, and contending
who ſhall have the glory of being moſt in her good graces .
If I am not mittaken, ſaid Don Cleofas, I hear ſome.
body laugh behind us. No, you are not miltaken , re
plied the devil ; it is a woman hard by, laughing in her
fleep . She is a widow who ſets up for a prude, and
whoſe darling pleaſure is ſcandal; ſhe dreams the is
talking with an old devout lady, whoſe converſation
delights her infinitely.
I niuſt laugh in my turn too, ſaid the devil, at that
honeſt citizen in the room under the widow, who can
ſcarce live tolerably on what he has . He dreams
of picking up pieces of gold and ſilver, and that
the more he picks up, the more remain . He has
already filled a great chelt with them . Poor ſoul, ſaid
Leandro, he will not long enjoy his treaſure. No, laid
the devil; when he wakes, he will be in the ſame con
dition as the rich man on his death- bed, he will ſee all
his riches diſappear.
If you have any curioſity to know the dreams of thoſe
two actreſſes, I will let you into them . Oneof them is
dreaming ſhe is catching birds with a bird- call, and that
ftili as Me takes them , the Atrips off their feathers, and
throws them to be devoured by a fine large boar cat the
is fond of, and who is the only gainer by them . The
other fancies five is turning a pack of grey-hounds and
Daniſh dogs, which ſhe uſed to admire , out of her houſe,
and that he intends to keep only one fine fleek lap -dog,
which
 UPON TWO STICKS , 209
which he has taken into favour . Two very odd dreams!
cried the ſtudent. I fancy if we had interpreters of
dreams at Madrid , as they had formerly at Rome, they
would be horribly perplexed to explain them . Not to
much as you think , anſwered the devil . A very little
light into what paſſes amongſt thoſe gentry of the ſtage,
would give one a very plain interpretation of them .
For my part, ſaid Don Cleotas, I neither underſtand
nor trouble my head about them . I had much rather
know who that lady is alleep in the rich bed of yellow
velvet, fringed with ſilver, by whom there is a ſtand with
a candle and book on it . She is a lady with a title, re
plied the dæmon , who has a very genteel equipage, all
which the is reſolved ſhall confift of tall , ſmart tellows.
One of her cuſtoms is to read a- bed , without which the is
not able to lay her eyes together all night. Laſt night
the took Ovid's Metamorphoſes to bed with her, and
her reading that is the occaſion of theextravagantdream
ſhe is in at preſent. She is fancying that Jupiter has fal
len in love with her, and is hiring hiinſelf to her in the
form of a tall , well- ſhaped page.
Now we are upon metamorphoſes, here is another
more pleaſant one. I diſcern a player, who is in his
Sleep, enjoying the pleaſure of a dream that flatters him
very agreeably . This actor is fo old , that there is not
a ſoul in Madrid who can ſay they ſaw the firſt of him .
He has been upon the ſtage ſo long, that one may fee
he is theatrified ; and has a genius, but is ſo proud and
vain of it , that he imagines he is ſomething above man
kind . Would you know what this mock hero is dream
ing of ? That he is dying, and ſees all the deities of
Olympus met together to decide what they ihall do with
a mortal of his importance. He hears Mercury telling
the council of the Gods , that ſo celebrated a comedian ,
after acting the part of Jupiter, and the relt of the chief
divinities to often , onght not to undergo the coinmon
fate of mankind , but that he ought to be received amongst
themſelves. Momus applandsMercury's opinion ; but
fome of the other gods and goddeſſes being againſt fo
S 3 new
 210 THE DEVIL
new an apotheofis, Jupiter, to avoid diſputes, turns
this old comedian into a ſcene.
The devil was going on , when Zambullo interrupted
him . Hold , ſaid he, Signior Aſmodeus, you do not per
ceive it is day, I am afraid they may ſpy us out on
this houſe. If tbe rabble ſhould once have a view of
your lordſhip’s figure, they will never have doneMout
ing. I will warrant they ſhall never fee us, anſwered
the dæmon . I have the ſame power as thoſe fabulous
divinities we have been talking of. And as the amo
rous fon of Saturn hid himſelf in a cloud on Mount Ida ,
that they might not ſee him careſs his dear confort
Juno ; lo I will raiſe a miſt that the fight of man fhall
not be able to penetrate , and which ſhall not hinder your
ſeeing whatever I intend to fhew you . No ſooner ſaid
but done ; a thick vapourimmediately encompaſſed them,
yet, dark as it was, it hid nothing from the ſtudent's eyes.
Let us return to our dreams, continued the cripple.
But I do not conſider, added he, that the manner in
which I have made you paſs the night muſt have tired
you . I think I muſt carry you home , and let you fleep
for two or three hours . In the mean while I will take a
turn over the four quarters of theworld, and play fome of
my pranks ; after which I will come and take you up ,
and we will divert ourſelves afreſh . I am neither ſleepy
nor tired , anſwered Don Cleofas . Inſtead of leaving me,
I pray oblige me in letting me into the various deligus
of those people tliat I ſee up, and going out. What are
they going upon ſo early ? What you would know,
replied the dæmon, is worth your oblervation. You
are going to ſee a picture of the cares , motions and
pains thai poor mortals give themſelves in this life, in
order to fill up that little ſpace between their birth and
their grave as agrecably as they can .
CH A P. XVIII .
Whereyou will ſee ſeveraloriginals that are not
riitvout their cofi: s.
FIRST of all,mindthatgroupe ofbeggarsalready in
the iticet. They are so many debauchets, molt of
tiem
 UPON TWO STICKS . 211

them of good families, that live in a cominunity like

monks, and paſs almoſt every night in debauchery in
their own houſe, where there is always an ample pro
viſion of bread, meat and wine . See , they are parting,
in order to go play their different parts in their churches,
and at night will meet to drink the health of thoſe well
diſpoſed Chriſtians who piouſly contribute towards
their expences . Do but admire at the contrivances of
thoſe rogues in diſguiſing themſelves, and moving peo
ples' pity. No coquette better knows how to dreſs her .
felf in order to draw in a coxcomb .
Examine thoſe three narrowly that are together on the
fame ſide of the way . He on crutches, who treinbles all
over, and ſeemsto walk with ſo much difficulty that you
would think he would be upon his noſe every lep he
takes, though he has on a long grey beard , and looks
ſo decrepit , is a young hale fellow , to nimble and light
that he would out - run a ttag. The other, with a leald
head , is a handſome youth , whoſe head is covered with
a ſkin which hides a head of hair fit for a court - page .
And the other, with his breech in a bowl , is a conical
dog ; he has the art of fetching ſuch lamentable ſounds
from the bottom of his ſtomach, that , at his diſmal ac
cents , there is not an old woman but what will coine
down four pair of ſtairs to give him a farthing.
Whilft theſe lazy rogues, under pretence of poverty, are
picking the pockets of the public , I fee a world of indul
trious artizans, though Spaniards, that are preparing to
get their daily bread by the ſweat of their brow . On
all ſides I perceive men riſing and dreſſing theinfelves,
in order to go to their ſeveral employments. How ina
ny deſigns, formed this night, will, before the next, lie
executed or vaniſhed into air ! What various ſteps are
intereſt, love, and ambition , putting men upon !
What is that I fee in the ſtreet , interrupted Dun Cleo
fas ? Who is that woman loaded with medals, that a
fuotman is leadmg wih ſo much haite ? Her buſineſs
muſt be preſſing, lure. Yes , certainly, anſwered the ite
val : ii is a vencrable matron , trotting to a houſe where
they
 212 THE DEVIL
.

they want a caſt of her office . She is going to an ac ada

treis , who is ſcreaming out, and has two cavaliers with
her that ſeem to be in a peck of troubles. One is her
huſband, and the other a man of quality, concerned in
what is going forward : for an actrels's labour is like 30TH
Alcmena's, always owing to a Jupiter and an Amphi
tryon .
cite.
Would not one ſay, to ſee that gentleman on horſe
back with his gun , that he was going to makewar upon
all the bares and partridges about Madrid ? and yet that
diverſion is the fartheſt from his thoughts; he is taken up 2:

with another deſign . He is going to a little village ,

where he will diſguise himſelf like a peaſant,and inthat
dreis be introduced to a farmer's, where his miſtreſs
lives under the care of a ſevere and vigilant mother .
That young graduate you ſee taking ſuch hatty ſtrides, 1

goes every morning to make court to an old uncle of his,

whoſe prebendary he has an eye upon. Fix your eyes
on that houle over againſt us ; you ſee a man putting
on his cloak , and preparing to go out. It is an honeſt 20
rich citizen, whoſe reſt is broken by a very weighty af.
fair, He has an only daughter to diſpuſe of. He does
not know whether he Niall beſtow her upon a young at.
torney that courts her, or a haughty Hidalgo that de.
mands her. He is going to conſult his friends about it,
and really it is a very perplexing buſineſs . He is afraid
if he dould chuie the gentleman , that he may have a fon
in - law to despiſe him : on the other fide, if he thould
take the attorney, he is apprehenſive left he ſhould take
a worm into his family to up all the goods in it.
Pray obterve a neighbour of this perplexed father,aman
in a night-gown of red brocade fowered with golu , in
thai hcule to magnificently furniſhed. He is a wit, that
ſets up for a man of quality in ſpite of his mean birth .
It is not ten years fince lie was not worth a groat, and
at preſent he has ten thouſand ducats a year . He has
a very pretty equipage, but he maintains it by pinching
bis table, the tiugality of which is fo great , that he geo
nerally cats his tit- bit by himſelf. Nor but that, out of
oftentation,
 UPON TWO STICKS . 213
oftentation , he fometimes entertains people of quality,
and has to day invited ſeveral counſellors of ſtate to dine
with him . To this end he has juſt now ſent for a cook ,
and is going to haggle with him for an odd farthing,
after which he will write down on cards the ſeveral
courſes and diſhes they agreed upon . This fellow you
are talking of muſt be a confounded miſer, faid Zam
bullo . Why, anſwered Aſmodeus, all beggars that leap
into eſtates, turn miſers or prodigals. It is the rule.
Pray tell me, ſaid the ſtudent , who that fair lady is
that I fee at her toilet, entertaining a very handtome
young fellow . Oh , really , ſaid the cripple, what you ſee
there very well deſerves your obſervation. That lady
is a German widow, who lives upon her jointure at Ma
drid, and keeps very good company ; and the gentleman
with her is a young lord , whoſe name is Don Antonio de
! Monſaiva . Though he be of one of the beſt families in
Spain , yet he has promiſed the widow to have her, and
has to that end given her a promiſſory note of three thou
ſand piſtoles. But he is croſſed in this affair by his re
lations, who have threatened to confine him if he does not
break off all correſpondence with the lady, whom they
look upon as a detigning creature. The gallant, morti.
fied to ſee them all oppole his inclination,camelaſt night
to pay his miſtreſs aviſit, who ſeeing him uneaſy, alked
him the reaſon . He told her ; at the faine time aſſuring
her, that all the oppoſition he could ſuffer from his fami
ly ſhould never make his conſtancy . The lady appear
ed charmed with his reſolution , and they parted about
midnight very well pleaſed with each other. Munfalva
came again this morning,and finding his widow at her
toilet, began to entertain her again upon the ſubject of
his paſſion. While they were chatting, the lady rook
off the papers from her favourites, and the cavalier, with
out reflection, took up one of them that was unpioned ,
and ſeeing his own hand , How, Madam , laid he, liniling,
iç this the uſeyou put your billet-doux to ? Yes, Monial
va , anſwered Me : you ſee to what nfe I put thole promiſes
that young gentlemen inake, who would have ine againit
tne
 214 THE DEVIL
the conſent of their families ; I wrap up my favourites
in them . When Monfalva found it was really his mote
the lady had torn , he could not help admiring her diſin .
tereſtedneis, and again ſwore to her an eternal conftancy .
Cart your eye, purſued the devil , upon that tall leán
fellow , walking juſt under us , with a large coinmon
place book under his arin , an ink - horn at hisbutton,and
a guitar on his back . The man , ſaid the ſtudent, makes
but a ridiculous figure, and I warrant is an original.
Certainly replied the devil , he is an odd mortal ; but
there are Cynic philoſophers in Spain, and he is one.
He is going to a meadow near Buen- letiro, where there
is a clear ſpring, whoſe limpid water forms a ſtream that
wanders amongſt the flowers. He will ſtay there the
whole day contemplating the beautiful riches of nature,
playing upon the guitar, and writing his reflections into
his common -place book . He has the food he generally
lives on in his pocket ; that is, a few onions and a llice
of bread . This is the ſober and abſtemious life he has
lived for theſe ten years ; and if any Ariſtippus was to
tell him ,as he did Diogenes, If thou kneweſt bow to make
thy courtto the great, thou wouldſ not eat onions; ourmo
dern philolopher would anſwer, I could make my court to
the great aswell as thou if I woulddebaſe one manfo low
as tomake him cringe to another. And indeed this phi
loſopher was formerly very aſſiduous in his addreſſes to
great men , who in effcet made his fortune ; but finding
that their ſervice was no other than an honourable fla
very, lie broke off all correſpondence with them . He
kept a coach, which he laid down , becauſe he ſaw the
belpattered men that were better than himſelf. Nay, he
has gone ſo far as to give away almoſt all his eſtate
amongſt his friends that wanted it, and has only reſerved
a ſubliſtence in the way he lives ; for he thinks it as
diſhonourable for a philoſopher to beg of the common
people as of the granadees.
Pity the cavalier who is walking after the philoſopher
with a dog ; he may boaſt of being of one of the belt fa
milies in Caftile . He was rich, but ruined himſelf, like
Lucian's
 UPON TWO STICKS . 215
Lucian's Timon , by treating his friends every day,
eſpecially by making grand entertainments upon the
birthdays or marriages ofprinces and princeſſes ; in a
word , on every occaſion Spain has had to make rejoicings:
but the moment his paraſitical friends ſaw this reverſe
of fortune, they diſappeared , and abandoned him . None
but his dog continued faithful to him .
Tell me, Signior Devil, cried Leandro Perez, what
means all that noiſe. It is , anſwered the cripple, one
of the ladies you lately ſaw round a table at cards, af
frighted at the diſagreeable light of day ; the is come
home, and it is her footman that is thundering at her
door. You ſee ſhe has alighted out of her coach , got
within doors , and is ſat down : ſhe has juſt loſt five
hundred pounds, and cannot go to bed till her maid has
brought her a pack of cards ; and the is going to awake
her huſband, tu ſhew him how ſhe loſt the latt game ;
then falls into a paſſion, goes raving to bed , and rails
at the good man for not getting a place at cout. By
what I can find, interrupted the ſtudent, the good man
has a bleſſed time , to be tied to a baggage, who, not
content with running out his fortune , muft arraign his
conduct , and rob him of his reft beſides . Oh ! replied
the cripple, you do not know the artifices of women .
She has begun firſt, for fear of having the tables turned
upon her .
Very well , very well , upon my word , anſwered the
ftudent, laughing ; but methinks I fee another equi
page in the fame ítreet. Yes , replied the dæmon , it
belongs to a rich contador, who every morning comes to
a house hard by , where lives a bona roba, who is un
der the care of this finner of Mooriſh race , whom he
loves to dittraction . Laſt night 11e heard the had been
2
playing him a trick, upon the news of which he talls
into a rage, and writes her a letter fullot threats and re
proaches. You will hardly guels the fetch which our
coquette reſolved upon ; initead of having the aſſurance
to deny the fact, the has this very morning lent him
word that his provocations are jutt, tla: he ought for
the
 216 THE DEVIL
the future to look on her with contempt, ſince ſhe could
have the baſenels to wrong ſo gallant a man ; that the
acknowledgesand deteſts her fault; and that to puniſh
herſelf for it , ſhe has already cut off her fine hair, which
the knows he dotes on ; in ſhort , that ſhe is determined
to go expiate her crime in a monastery, and there paſs
thereſt of her life in repentance. But the old dotard is
not able to hold out againſt his iniftreſs's pretended re
morſe , and is got up thus early to make her a viſit .
He has found her in tears; and the comedian has played
her part ſo well , that he has juſt pardoned her for wiiat
is palt ; and to comfort her for the loſs of her hair, he
is this moment promiſing her to make her lady of a
manor, by buying her a fine ettate, which is aštually
to be ſold in the country near the Eſcurial .
I do not know what recompence he can make her for
the next trick the plays him , interrupted the ſtudent,
without he marry her. But pray who is that pretty
woman'yonder, continued he, fo earneſtly talking to her
maid ? Some good houſe -wife, to be ſure, by her being
up ſo early. You are miſtaken , anſwered Almodeus ;
ſhe has not yet been a- bed , but is going, and giving
her maid orders not to let in her huſband till me has
called her up to ratile him for making her ſit up ſo late.
Rather early, ſaid the ſtudent. True, anſwered the de
vil. But pray look into that tavern ; there is the good
man calling for another bottle, becauſe he is afraid of
going home at this time of day, and is therefore bot
ting up all the courage he can to ſtand his wife's
thunder .
All the ſhops are open , ſaid the ſtudent, and I diſa
cern a cavalier going into a cook's. He is , replied the
dæmon, a young fellow of a good family, who is eat
up with the itch of writing, and is abſolutely reſolved
to ſer пр for an author. Not that he wants wit ; nay ,
he has lufficient to criticile luch pieces as appear upon
the ſtage ; but not enough to write a tolerable one him
felt. He is going into the cook's to order a great
dinner ; for this very day he treats four players, whom
he
 UPON TWO STICKS .
217
he would fain engage to protect a fcurvy piece of his ,
which he is going to bring into their houſe . Now we
are upon the ſubject of authors, continued he, there are
two who are met in the ſtreet. Obſerve with what a
ſneer they falute ; they deſpiſe each other, and very
juftly. The one writes as eaſily as the poet Criſpinus,
whom Horace compares to a ſmith's bellows; and the
other ruins a vaſt deal of time in cool inſipid compo
fitions.
Who is that little man coming out of his coach at
that church -porch ? ſaid Zambullo . He is , anſwered
the cripple, a perſon well worth your obſervation. It
is not ten years ſince he quitted the profeſſion of a no
tary , where he was head - clerk, to go bury himſelf in
a monaſtery of Carthufians at Saragoſſa. He had not
paffed ſix months of his noviciate , before he bid aditu
to his convent, and appeared again at Madrid. His
acquaintance were ſurpriſed to ſee him all at once jump
into the place of one of the principal inembers of the
council of the Indies, and his fudden riſe is still the
ſubject of converſation. Some ſay he has fold himſef
to the devil ; others , that he is in the good g acts of
ſome rich dowager ; and others, in ſhort, that he has
found a treaſure. But you know the truth of it , inter
rupted Don Cleofas. Oh ! as to that, certainly I do,
replied the dæmon , and will unravel the myſtery to
you .
During our monk's noviciate, it happened on day ,
whilft hewasdigging a deep hole in his garden , to plant
a tree there, he caſt his eye upon a braſs caſket , which
he opened , and within it found a gold box, which had in
_ it about thirty exceeding fine diamonds . Though he
had no judgment in jewels, he could not help thinking
he had met with a very good booty ; and immedia:elý
-1 coming to the ſame reſolution as Judge Gripus in one
of Plautus's comedies, who having found a treaſure,
gave over the trade of a fiſherman, he threw off the
gown, and, by the means of a jeweller, who was his
T friend ,
 218 THE DEVIL
friend, converted his precious ſtones into pieces of gold,
and his pieces of gold into a poſt, which has enabled
him to make a figurein civil ſociety.
CHAP . XIX .
Farther Obſervations made by the Devil and
Don Cleofas.
I Mult, purſued Aſmodeus, divert you with a paſſage
concerning that man going into a chocolate houſe.
He is a phyſician of Biſcay, and is going to drink a
dith of chocolate, after which he will paſs the whole
day at cheſs . Be not in fear for his patients all the
while; he has none ; and if he had , the moments he
fpends at his beloved game would not be the moſt un .
happy for them . He never fails viſiting a handſome
rich widow every night, whom he fain would marry,
and pretends a vaſt paſſion for. Whilft he is with her,
a rogue of a footman, who is the only ſervant he has,
and is let into the affair, brings him a pretended liſt of
names of ſeveral people of quality who have ſent for
him . The widow takes all this for goſpel, and our
cheſs-player is upon the point of winning his party.
But let us ſtop a moment at that fine houſe over
againſt us . I muſt not go on without Mewing you the
people that live there. Examine the apartments . What
do you ſee in them ? I ſee ſome ladies there, anſwered
the ſtudent, and am dazzled with their beauty. Some
of them I ſee viſing, and others already up. \ Vhat
charms they diſcover to my eyes ! I fancy I fee ſo many
of Diana's nyinphs, as they are painted to us by the
poets. If theſe women, you ſo much admire, replied
the cripple, have the charins of Diana'snymphs, it is
too ſure they have not their chaſtity. They are four
or five ladies of pleaſure, who live together upon a ge.
neral ſtock . Their dangerous charms draw heedleſs
young fellows in , like thoſe fair damſels who by their
ailurements cauſed ſuch knights as paſſed by the cafe
tles they inhabited to ſtop . Woe to ſuch as ſuffer
theniſelves to be wheedled by them ! To let paſſengers
know
 UPON TWO STICKS .
219
know the danger they are in , there ſhould be a mark
ſet upon ſuch houſes, in the ſame manner as they are
placed along a river, to thew the paſſages one ſhould
not come near .

I do not aſk you, ſaid Leandro Perez, where thoſe

noblemen are going in their coaches : to be ſure they
are going to the king's levee. You are right, anſwered
the devil ; and if you have a mind to go thither too, I
will carry you , WeMall meet with ſomething divert.
ing there. You could have propoſed nothing more a
greeable, replied Zambullo ; it is ſo great a pleaſure
that I taſte it beforehand . Upon which , the devil,
ready to obey all Don Cleofas's motions, flew with him
1 towards the King's palace; but before they got thither,
the ſtudent perceiving ſome men at work upon a very
3 lofty gate, aſked the devil if it was not the gate of a
church they were building. No, anſwered Alinodeus,
it is the gate of a new market, and is very grand , as
you ſee. Yet, were they to carry it up to the clouds,
it will never come up to the two excellent Latin verſes
that are deſigned for an inſcription to it. What is that
you tell me ? cried Leandro į or what idea would you
give me ofthoſe verſes? I long to hear the They
are there, replied the dæmon. Prepare yourſelf to ad .
- mire them .
Quam bene Mercurius nunc merces vendit opimas,
Momus ubifatuos vendidit ante ſales !
There is one of the prettieſt puns in the world in
theſe two verſes. I cannot find out all the beauty of
them , ſaid the ſtudent. I do not well underſtand what
fatuos ſalesmeans. You do not know then, anſwered
the devil , that on the ground where this market is build
ing, ſtood a college of monks that taught ſchool. The
malters uſed to make their ſcholars act plays ; but ſuch
inſipid pieces, ſo ſtrangely larded with interludes, that
even the preterperfect tenſes and ſupines of verbs were
not excuſed dancing, Oh! pray no more of them , in
terrupted Zambullo. I know but tov well what ſtuff
thoſe college performances are! The inſcription is ad
mirable. T z Scarce
 220 THE DEVIL
Scarce were Aſmodeus and the ftudent got upon the
ſtair - caſe leading to the king's apartment , when they
ſaw ſeveral courtiers going up, and ſtill as any of thoſe
noblemen paffed by then , the devil played the part of
a nomenclator. See there , ſaid he, to Leandro Perez,
pointing to them with his finger one after another, that
is Count Villalonſo, of the family of Puebla d'Ellerena;
this is the Marquis of Caſtro Fueltres ; that is Don
Lopez de los Rios, firſt lord of the treaſury ; this is
the Count de Villa Hombroſa . Nor did he only tell
their names, but their characters too , always malici
oully adding ſome ſtroke of latire, giving every one of
them a wipe.
This lord, ſaid he of one of them , is affable and
obliging; he liſtens to you with an air of condeſcen
fion . Do you want his protection ? he grants it you ge
nerouſly, and beſides, offers you his intereft.' It is
pity a man who ſo much loves to oblige has ſo ſhort a
memory , that in a quarter of an hour after you have
been talking with hin , he forgets what you have been
ſaying. That duke, ſpeaking of another, is one of the
mot agreeable characters of any man at court: he is
not changing every quarter of an hour, like the reſt
of his brethren ; he has no caprice, no inequality in his
humour. Belides, he is not ungrateful to ſuch as fhew
an affection for liis perſon, or do him any ſervice; but, 0

unluckily, he is a little too tardy in acknowledging t

them ; he lets people wait ſo long for any favour they 1

expect, that whenever they obtain it, they think they t
have paid very dear for it .
After the demon had acquainted the ſtudent with
the good and ill qualities of a great number of thoſe
noblemen , lie carried him into a ball, where were peo
ple of all forts, and amongit them ſo many knights,
that Don Cleofas cried out, Bleis me , what a number
of knights are here ! Sure, there muſt be a great many
in Spain ! That there are , replied the cripple ; por
ought it to be ſurprizing, ſince to be a knight of St.
Jago, or Calatrava, it is not neceſſary, as it formerly
was
 UPON TWO STICKS . 221

was at Rome, to have five and twenty thouſand crowns

inheritance : and indeed you ſee they are a very ſophiſ
ticated kind of a commodity .
Obſerve that mean -looking man behind you . Speak
lower, interrupted Zambullo, the man hears you. No,
no, anſwered the devil ; the ſame charm thatmakes us
inviſible, prevents our being heard . Look upon him ,
he is a Catalan, juſt come from the Philippine Iſlands,
where he has been a privateering. To look at him,
would you imagine him to be ſuch a thunderbolt of war ?
Yet he has done prodigious actions by his bravery.
He is going this morning to preſent a petition to the
King, wherein he aſks a particular poſt as the reward
of his ſervices ; but I much doubt whether he will obtain
it, becauſe he did not apply to the chief miniſter firſt.
At his right hand , ſaid Leandro Perez, there is a
tall, bulky man, who ſeems to be giving himſelf ajrs
of conſequence. Were one to judge of him by his
haughty air,he ſhould be ſome rich nobleman, ' Far
from it, replied Aſmodeus ; he is an Hidalgo, and
wretchedly poor too, whoſe fubfiftence is a gaming
houſe he keeps under the protection of a grandee.
But there is a licentiate that deſerves richly to be
pointed out to you ; he atthe firſt window, in deep diſ
courſe with a cavalier in light grey velvet. They are
talking of an affair that was yefterday decided by the
King . I will give you the particulars of it. About
two months ſince, this licenciado , who is a member of
the academy of Toledo, publihed a book of morality ,
which ſhocked all the old Caſtilian authors. They found
3 it full of bold expreſſions, and new - coined words. Pre
fently they enter into a confederacy againſt this very
ſingular production: they meet and draw up a petition,
which they preſent to the King, deſiring him to condemn
this book as contrary to the purity and perfpicuity of
the Spaniſh tongue. The petition was thonght worthy
his Majeſty's confideration , who named a coininittee of
three to examine the piece . They reported that the
Ityle was really faulty, and ſo much the more danger
T 3 cus ,
 222 THE DEVIL
ons, as the more brilliant : ard thus the King decreed
upon that report, That, under pain of his diſpleaſure,
two meinbers of the fame univerſity, who write in the
licentiate's taſte , ſhall not compole any books for the
future ; and likewiſe, for the better preſerving the Cal
tilian tongue, that the places of thoſe academicians, up
on their cemité, hall be filled up with perſons of the
firſt qua ity only.
· A'noncerful deciſion ! cried Zambullo , laughing.
The par cians of the vulgar Caitilian have now nothing
to fear Parcon me, replied the dæinon ; writers, who
are eneinies to this noble fimplicity, which charms ſen
fible readers, are not all of the academy of Toledo .
Don Cleofas was delirous to know who that cavalier
in light grey velvet was, whom he faw engaged in con
verſation with the licentiate. He is , ſaid the cripple, a
Caſtilian, and a younger brother, an officer of the
Spanish guard, and, I aſſure you , a man of great wit .
But, to make you a judee of that, I will tellyou a re,
parée that he made yeſterday to a lady in very good
company. For the better underſtanding it, you muſt
know he has a brother, whoſe name is Don Andié de
Prada, that was for ſome years an officer in the ſame
corps he is now in .
A rich farmer of the King's revennes one day came
up to Don Andié and accotting him , ſaid, Signior Don
Prada, 1 bear the ſame naine as you , fut our families are
different. I know you are of one of the beſt in Catalo
nia , and at the ſame time that you are not rich ; as for
me, I am rich , but of very obſcure birth . Could there
be no way of Tharing between us the advantage which
each of us enjoys fiparately ?Can you get at your pa
tent ofnobility ? Yes , ſaid Don Andié. Well, then,
replied the farmer, if you will give me a ſhare in them ,
* I will ju them into the hands of an able genealogilt,
who thuil go to work upon them , and make us couſins
in spite of our anceſtors ; on which confideration I will,
by way of acknowledgment, preſent you with thirty
thouſand piſtoles. Is it a bargain ? Don André was
tempted
 UPON TWO STICKS 223
tempted by the fum , accepted the propoſal, put his
muſty old originals into the farmer's hands , and , with
the money he received , bought a conſiderable eſtate in
Catalonia, where he has ever ſince lived . Now the
younger brother of that gentleman , who had no advan
tage by the bargain, was yeſterday at dinner, where,
by chance , this Signior de Prada, the farmer of the
King's revenues, happened to be talked of ; and there.
upon a lady in the company, addreſſing herſelf to this
young officer, aſked him if he was not a relation of his.
No, really, Madam , anſwered he : I have not that ho
nour; it is my brother.
The ſtudent, vaſtly pleaſed with fo diverting a repar
tee, burſt out into a laugh : but of a ſudden, ſeeing a
little man running after a courtier, he cried out, Good
God ! how many bows that little man, following the
nobleman, is making him ! Certainly he has ſome favour
to aik . What you are remarkingupon there, ſaid the
devil , well deſerves the trouble of telling you the occaſion
of ſo many civilities . That little man is an honeſt ci .
tizen , that has a pretty neat box near Madrid, at a place
where there are mineral waters in fome eſteein . This
houſe he lent, without any expectations , to that lord for
three months, who went thither to drink the waters.
The citizen is at this inſtant molt heartily intreating
him to ſerve him on an occaſion that offers, and the
nobleman is very politely refuſing him .
I muſt not let that cavalier of plebeian race eſcape me,
who is preſſing through the crowd , and giving himſelf
airs of quality. He is lately grown excellively rich in a
ſmall time by the ſcience of numbers . He keeps as
many domeftics as a grandee, and his table, for delicacy
and abundance, exceeds that of the chief miniſter. He
has one equipage for himſelf, one for his wife, and ano
!
ther for his children . The fineſt horſes and mules in
the world are to be ſeen in his fables . And the other
day he bought and paid ready money for a rich ſet of
harneſſes, which the prince of Spain cheapened, and
thought too dear. Infolence ! ſaid Leandro . Were a
Turk
 224 THE DEVIL
Turk to ſee this merry fellow flaunting it thus, he H

would be apt to think that his good fortune was juſt

going to give him the flip. As for what may happen I
know not, ſaid Almodeus, but I cannot help thinking
like a Turk . 161

Bleſs me ! what do I ſee, continued the dæmon with

aſtoniſhment! I can hardly believe my eyes. I ſee a
poet in the hall who ſhould not be here." How dares he
venture hither, after having lampooned ſeveral of the
chief of the Spaniſh nobility ? Sure he muſt depend up
on being deſpiſed by them .
Conſider attentively that honourable perſon who
comes in leaning upon a 'ſquire; ſee how every body
gives back to make way for him . It is Signior Don
Jofepho de Reynaſte, and Ayala, recorder of the city.
He is come to give the King an account of what hap "

pened laſt night in Madrid. Pray do but admire the

old gentleman . Really, ſaid Zambullo, he has the look of
an honeſt, good man . It were to be wiſhed , replied the
cripple, that every corregidor would chuſe him for their
pattern . He is not one of thoſe turbulent ſpirits that do
every thing out of humour or paſſion . He will not
commit a man upon the ſingle evidence of a bailiff or
clerk . He knows too well that ſuch people generally
are mercenary, and capable of committing the baſeſt
actions under his name and authority. Wherefore,
when a man is to be committed , he lifts the affair till he
has found out the truth ; and , indeed , he never ſends an
innocentman to gaol ; the guilty only are committed by
him . Nor does heleave even them to the barbarity
that is exerciſed in ſuch places . He viſits thoſe unfor
tunate people himſelf, and takes care that no inhuma.
nity ſhall be added to the juſt ſeverities of the law .
What a charming character is this ! cried Leandro,
and what an amiable mai muuſt he be ! I thould be glad
to hear him talk to the King. I ain extremely forry ,
anſwered the devil, that I am cbliged to tell you, I can
not comply with your deſire, without laying mylelf open Te
to be inſulted . I am not allowed acceis to crowned
heads ;
 UPON TWO STICKS . 225
heads ; that would be encroaching upon the rights of
Leviathan, Bellegor, and Aſhtaroth . I have already
told you , that thoſe three ſpirits are in poſeſſion of the
privilege of engioffing all ſovereigns. Other dæmons
are forbid appearing in courts ; and I do not know what
I was thinkiig upon when it came into my head to bring
you hither. I own it was taking a very raih ſtep. If
thoſe three, devils ſhould light on me, they would fall
upon me moſt furiouſly, and , between you and I, I
fhould have much the worſt of it .
Since we are in ſuch tickliſh circumſtances, replied the
ftudent, our beſt way would to make off as ſoon as we
can . I ſhould be mortally grieved to ſee you worried by
your brethren, without being able to aſſiſt you ; tor were
I to take your part, I fancy you would be little the bet
ter for me . No, without doubt , replied Aſmodeus,
they would not feel your blows, and you would fink un
der theirs . But, added he, to make up for not being
able to introduce you into your monarch's cloſet, I will
give you a ſatisfaction which is well worth that which
you muſt loſe . At theſe words he took Don Cleofas
by the hand, and cleft the air with him towards the
monaſtery de la Merci .
CHAP . XX .
Of the CAPTIVES.
THEY
ry, atboth alighted
the gate upon ahouſe
of which there wasnearthemonaſte
a vaſt concourſe
of people of both ſexes. What a world of people are
here ! ſaid Leandro Perez ! What ceremony has brought
all theſe folks together ? It is, anſwered the dæmon , a
ceremony you have never ſeen , though it is what hap
pens at Madrid every now and then . Three hundred
flaves, all of thein ſubjects to the king of Spain , will
be here in a moment . They are come back from Al
giers, from whence the fathers of the redemption have
ranſomed them . All the treets they are to go through
will immediately be crowded with fpectators. Indeed,
replied Zambullo, it is a figiit I have never yet been
very fond of ſeeing ; and if that be what your lordſhip
reſerves
 226 THE DEVIL
reſerves for me, I muſt tell you plainly you ſhould have 91

not cried it up to me ſo much . I know you too well,

anſwered the devil, to believe the light of the unfortu
natewill be an agreeable amuſement to you : but when
I tell you that at the ſame time I ſhew them you , I de
ſign to let you into fuch remarkable particulars as occur
in the captivity of ſome of them , and the perplexity that
others will find themſelves in at their return home, I am
perſuaded you will not beſorry that I have given you
this diverſion. Oh ! no, the matter be as you repre
ſent it, cried the ſtudent, what you tell me alters the
caſe, and you will oblige me by keeping your promiſe.
Whilſt they were thus talking, they heard a great
Tout, which camefrom the mob at the ſight of the cap
tives, who advanced in this order : they marched two
and two, in their laves habit , with their chains about
their necks . A great many monks de la Merci, who
had been to meet them , went before, mounted upon
LE
mules, whoſe houſings were black ſerge, as if they were
leading up a funeral proceflion ; and one of theſe good
fatheis carried the ſtandard of the redemption. Then
camethe captives, the youngeſt firſt, the moſt aged fola
lowed , and behind them brought up the rear a monk of
the ſame order as the firſt, mounted upon a ſmall horſe ,
and this reverend friar had altogether the air of a pro
phet . Indeed he was the head of the miſſion : he at
tracted the eyes of the ſpectators by his gravity, as well
as by a long, grey beard, which helped to give him that
venerable look ; and on the countenance of this Spaniſh
Mofes was to be read the inexpreſſible joy he felt at
bringing back ſo many Chriſtians to their own country .
Thefe captives, ſaid the cripple, are not all equally
tranſported at recovering their liberty; and if there are
tomeamongſt them who are rejoiced at being ſo near
ſeeing their relations again, there are others who are
afraid, left, during their abfence, ſomething may have
happened in their families more cruel to them than 3

Navery itſelf. Thoſe two, for example, that walk fore

moſt , are in the latter caſe. One of them, a native of
the
 UPON TWO STICKS . 227
the little village of Velilta , in the kingdom of Arragon,
after having been ten years a llave amongſt the Turks,
without hearing any thing of his wife, will find her
married to a ſecond huſband, and mother of five chil
dren that are none of his own . The other, the ſon of
a clothier of Segovia , was carried off by a corſair near
ſixteen years ago. He is afraid , after ſo many years ,
that the face of the family may be very much altered ;
and his fears are not without foundation, for his father
and mother are dead , and his brothers, who have di
vided the eſtate, have, by their ill conduct ſince, ſpent
it.
I am examining the face of a ſlave, ſaid the ſtudent,
who by his air ſeems charmed with being no longer ex
poſed to the baftinado. The captive you are looking at,
anſwered the devil, has great reaſon to be rejoiced at his
deliverance ; for he knows that an old aunt , whoſe fole
heir he is , is juſt dead, and that he is going to enjoy a
ſplendid fortune. This is the circumſtance which ſo
agreeably takes up his thoughts, and gives him the air
of ſatisfaction you obſerve in him . But it is not ſo with
the unfortunate cavalier that is next to him . A cruel
uneaſineſs inceſſantly torments him , and this is the cauſe
of it . At the timehe was taken by a pirate of Algiers
in paſſing from Spain to Italy, he loved and was be
loved by a fair lady, whoſe fidelity he ſuſpects was not
proof againſt the impatience and uncertainty of his re
turn . And has he been long a ſlave ? ſaid Zambulio .
Eighteen months, replied Almodeus. Why then , ſaid
Leandro, I fancy this lover gives too much into an un
neceſſary and unjuſt fear. He has not put his lady's
conſtancy to ſufficient proof, to be excuſable for thus
alarming himſelf. Nay, but you are miſtaken though,
replied the cripple ; for his princeſs no ſooner heard he
was a llave in Barbary, than the provided herſelf with
another gallant .
3
Would you think, continued the devil , that man
walking next the two we have been talking of, and
whoſe thick red beard renders him frighiful to look at,
would
 228 THE DEVIL

would you, I ſay, think that man ever was a pretty fel.
low ? Yet nothing is more certain, and under that hide.
ous figure you ſee a hero, whoſe ſtory is ſo uncommon
that I will give it you.
That tall youth's name is Fabricio . Scarce was he
fifteen when his father, a rich huſbandman of Cinquello,
a great market town in the kingdom of Leon, died,
and ſhortly after his mother ; ſo that being the only ſon,
he remained maſter of a conſiderable eſtate, which was
committed to the adminiſtration of an uncle, a man of
probity. Fabricio finiſhed his ſtudies which he had
then already begun at Salamanca, and afterwards learn
ed riding, fencing, and in mort neglected nothing
that could contribute to make him appear amiable in
the eyes of Donna Hippolita, the lifter of a pretty gen
tleman , whole cottage was about two muſket not from
Cinquello. The lady was perfectly handſome, and it
much about the ſame age as Fabricio , who being uſed
to ſee her from his infancy, had , as it were , ſucked in
his love for her with his milk. Hippolita too had eyes
to ſee he was not ugly ; but knowing him to be the lon
of an huſbandman , diſdained to look on him with much
attention . She was infufferably proud , as well as her
brother Don Thomalo de Xaral , who perhaps had not
his equal in all Spain for his poverty, and the pride
that puffed him up upon account of his nobility.
This haughty country gentleman dwelt in a houſe !
which he called his caſtle , but which , to give it its due, K.
was no more than a heap of rubbiſh, it was ſo near fall- fo
ing over his head . Yet, though his eitate would not M
allow him to repair it, and though it was as much as
ever he could do to make both ends meet, ftill he muſt D

have a valet to wait on him , and his ſiſter a negro wo

man befides. It was a diverting circumſtance to ſee
Don Thomafo make his appearance at the town , on Sun
days and holidays, drelled in a ſuit of crimſon velvet,
the pile of which was quite worn off, and in a little hat,
with a ruſty yellow plume of feathers in it, which he
kept by him the reſt of the week as carefully as relics.
Tr.cked
 UPON TWO STICKS .
229
Tricked up in thele tatters, which he looked upon as
fo inany proofs of his nobility, he ſtrutted like a lord ,
and thought he ſufficiently repaid the low bows that
were made him , by a look or a nud His fifter was not
Jeſs conceited of the antiquity of her family, to whichi
folly the added that of being ſo unconſcionably vain of
her beauty , as to live in a continual expectation of be
ing demanded for a wife by ſome grandee .
Theſe were the characters of Don Thomaſo and Hip
polita. Fabricio was well acquainted with it ; and in
order to inlinuare himſelf into the good graces of theſe
two vain - g! ious perſons , reſolved to flatter their va
nity by a thew of reſpect, which he did with ſo much
art , that the brother and ſiſter at laſt condeſcended to
allow him , from time to time, to come and pay his
obeiſance . Being as well acquainted with their poverty
as their arrogance , he often longed to make him an of
ter of his purie ; but this he was deterred from , by the
fear of ſhocking their pride, and thereby making them
his enemies. However, his ingenious generofity found
means to aflilt them , without making them blush . Sig
nior, ſaid he, oneday to our gentleman, I have two
thouſand ducats which I would depoſit in ſome friend's
hands ; be ſo good as to keep them for me, and you
will oblige mevaſtly .
You need not aſk whether Xaral conſented . Beſides
that it was very low with him , he had the right con
ſcience for a truſtee. He readily took the fum ; and as
ſoon as he got it into his hands, without ceremony em
ployed a good part of it in repairing his cottage, and
providing himſelf with all manner of neceſſaries. A
new fuit of very fine blue velvet was taken up and made
at Salamanca ; and a green feather, bought there likewiſe,
robbed theold yellow plume of the glory , which it had
enjoyed from time immemorial, of adorning the noble
ſcull of Don Thomaſo . The fair Hippolita too had
ber gewgans , and was entirely rew - clothed from top to
toe . It was thus Xaral run out the ſum he was entrust .
ed with, without ever confidering it was none of his
U own ,
 230 THE DEVIL

own, and that he ſhould never be able to repay it . That

was a ſcruple that never diſturbed him ; nay, he even
thought it but reaſonable that a plebeian ſhould pay for
the honour of a gentleman's acquaintance .
But Fabricio had foreſeen al] this, imagining at the
ſame time that his ready money might ſoften Don Tho
malo into a greater familiarity; and Hippolita, by de
grees accuttoming herſelf to bear his affiduities, might
at lait pardon him the boldneſs of lifting his thoughts
fo high as to her. Indeed , he had freer acceſs to them
than before, and they ſhewed him more civility than
they ufed to do : but a man that is rich is always well
received by the great, whenever he will inake himſelf
their inilch -cow . Xaral and his fifter, who before liad
never known any thing more of riches than its name, no
ſooner found how uſeful it was , but were of opinion
ſuch a man as Fabricio deſerved a little complaiſance.
They treated him with a reſpect and attention that
charmed him . He thought his perſon was now not
diſagreeable to them , and that they had aſſuredly re
flected , that gentlemen , to keep up their nobility , were
every day obliged to have recourſe to alliances with
mean families. This thought, which fattered bis
pailion, made him determine to aſk Hippolita in mare
riage.
The firſt favourablemoment he could find for ſpeak.
ing to Don Thomaſo, he told him he paſſionately defired
to be his brother- in -law , and that in order to enjoy this
honour, he would not only relinquiſh his right to the
depoſit, but would beſides make him a preſent of a thou
fand piſtoles. The haughty Xaral reddened at this pro ,
poſal, which awakened his pride ; and in his firſt im
pulſes of paſſion could hardly forbear diſcovering all the
contempthe entertained for the ſon of an huſbandman.
Yet how much loever he reſented this raſh attempt of
Fabricio, he ſmothered it, and, without any ſigns of
Scorn , anſwered , that he could not immediately detera
inine ſuch an affair upon the ſpot ; that it was proper
Hippolita ſhould be conſulted upon it ; and that there
Ihould
 UPON TWO STICKS . 231
ſhould be a meeting of relations. He ſent the lover
home with this anſwer, and in fact called a diet, com
poſed of a few Hidalgoes of his neighbourhood , who
were related to him , and whole brains, like his , were
turned with their fondneſs for the Hidalgnia . He held
a council with them ; not to aſk their opinions whether
he ſhould grant his fifter to Fabricio , but to contrive
how they ſhould puniſh this young inſolent fellow , who,
notwithſtanding his mean birth , had dared to aſpire
to the poffeffion of a young lady of Hippolita's qua
lity .
When he had laid before the aſſembly this daring ac
tion , at the bare name of Fabricio, of a huſbandman's
fon , you might have ſeen the eyes of all theſe nobles
ſparkle withi rage. Each man vomited fire and flame
at the audacious mortal. They all were unanimous
that he ought to breathe his last under the baftinado,
to expiate the affront he had done their family by the
propoſal only of fo ſhameful a match. However, upon
inature deliberation, the reſult of this important diet
was , that the criminal ſhould be ſuffered to live ; but , to
teach him not to forget himſelf for the future, they
fhould play him a trick which he might have cauſe to
remember a long while . Several mean raſcally expedi
ents were propoſed , and at laft this had the moſt hands ;
that Hippolita fhould pretend to favour Fabricio's ad
dreſſes, and that, under colour of ſoftening the lover's
pain for Don Thomaſo's refuſal, ſhe ſhould make him
an appointment to comeone night to the caſtle, where ,
the moment of his being let in by the Negro woman,
people poſted there on purpoſe ſhould ſurpriſe him with
1 that werich , and force him to marry her .
The fifter of Xaral at firſt gave into this villainous
She thought her pride
contrivance without reluctance .
was concerned to look upon the purſuits of a man of a
condition ſo vaſtly inferior to her own as an outrage done
to her. But this haughty diſpoſition foon gave way to
emotions of pity ; or rather Love atone blow made himna
ſelf maſter of the proud Hippolita.
U
From that moment
2 the
 232 THE DEVIL
The conſidered things with another eye. She looked
upon the obſcurity of Fabricio's birth as amply made
up by the ſhining qualities he poſſeſſed ; and ſaw no
thing in him but a cavalier that deſerved her tendereſt
affection. Admire, continued the dæmon, admire the
procigious alteration that love is able to produce.
This very ſame young creature, who imagined that a
prince ſcarce deſerved her, in an inſtant grows fond
of the ſon of an huſbandman , and hugs herſelf in her
pretenſions, after thinking herſelf diſhonoured by
them .
She gave herſelf up to the inclination that hurried her
away, and , far from ſubmitting to become an inſtru
ment of her brother's reſentment, carried on a ſecret
correſpondence with Fabricio, by means of the negro
woman , who ſometimes introduced him into the cot.
tage . But Don Thomaſo had ſome ſuſpicion of what
paſſed ; he began to ſuſpect his ſiſter ; he watched her,
and was convinced by his own eyes, that, inſtead of
complying with the intentions of the family, ſhe be
trayed them . Immediately he informed two of his cou
fins ofit ; who, taking fire at the news , began to cry
out Vengeance, Don Thomaſo, vengeance ! Xaral, who
wanted no prompting to demand ſatisfaction for an of.
fence of this kind, anſwered them with a Spaniſh mo.
deſty, that they ſhould ſee the uſe he could make of his
ſword when his honour was to be revenged. He then
deſired them to be at his houſe on a night which he ap
pointed them . They were very exact to their appoint
ment . He carried them in , and hid them in a little
room , without being perceived by any of the family :
he then left them , ſaying he would come and let them
know, as ſoon as the gallant ſhould have fst his foot
within the caſtle , provided he ſhould think fit to come
that night; which did not fail to happen ; the unlucky
planet of our lovers decreeing they ihould chule this
very night for an interview.
Already was Fabricio with his dear Hippolita ; and
they had began upon a topic which they had gone
through
 UPON TWO STICKS . 233
through an hundred times, and yet, though repeared
without intermiſſion , has ſtill always the graces of no
velty, when they were diſagreeably interrupted by thoſe
cavaliers that were upon the watch in order to furpriſe
them . Don Thomaſo and his two couſins came all three
courageouſly pouring in upon Fabricio, who had but
juſt time to draw, and who, judging by this action of
theirs, that they intended to murder him , fought like
one in deſpair. He wounded them all three, and still
preſenting the point of his ſword, was ſo lucky to gain
the door, and get off. Upon this, Xaral, finding his
enemy bad eſcaped him , after dithonouring his family
unreve: ged , turned his fury againit the unfortunate
Hippolita, and plunged his ſword into her heart ; and
his two relations, mortified to the laſt degree with the
ill ſucceſs of their deſigns, each of them went home
with their wounds.
Let us break off here, continued Aſmodeus; when
we have ſeen all the captives go by , I will make an end
of my story, and inform you how , after the law bad
ſeized upon all his eftate on account of this melancholy
accident, he had the mistortune in a voyage to be
made a llave .
While you was in your ſtory, ſaid Don Cleofas, I
could not help taking notice of one of theſe unfortunate
people, a young tellow , who looks fo dejected , fo lan
guilling , that it was as much as I could do to forbear
interrup :ing you to enquire into the cauſe of it . Nor
will you lore your labour, anſwered the dæmon , for [
can fatisfy your curioſity. That flave, whoſe melan
choly struck you , is the only son of a good family at
Valladolid . He has been two years in captivity with a
petron who has an exceeding pretty wife ; and his wife
was violently in love with her ſlave , who returned her
love by a very tender paſſion . The patron, fufpecting
fomething, made halte to ſell the Chriſtian, for tear his
buſineſs at his houſe might be the propagating of Turks .
The tender - hearted Caſtilian lias ever since, without
cealing, bewa: led the loſs of his miſtreſs, and his liberty
is not able to make him ealy under it . An
 234 THE DEVIL
An old gentleman with a very good aſpect draws my
eyes towards him , ſaid Leandro Perez ; pray who may .
he be ? It is a barber of Guipuſcoa, anſwered the devil ,
who is returning to Biſcay, after a forty years captivity.
Atthe time he fell into a corſair's hands , in a voyage from
Valencia to the iſland of Sardinia , he had a wire, two
fons, and a daughter, of whom he has now only one ſon
left , who, more fortunate than his father, has been at
Peru , and is returned with immenſe riches to his own
country , where he has bought two fine estates. What
fatisfaétion ! exclaimed the ſtudent, what tranſport it
muſt be to that ſon to enjoy his father again , and to be
in a condition to make his laſt days happy and eaſy !
You talk like a tender affectionate child , replied the
cripple ; but the Bilcayan barber's ſon is of a tougher
make. The unexpected arrival of his father will give
him more uneaſineſs than pleaſure ; and, instead of tak
ing him home into his houſe in Guipuſcoa , and ſparing
nothing to Mew how overjoyed he is at recovering vim,
he may perhaps make him one of his game- keepers .
Behind the barber is a little Arragonian phyſician, as
like an ape as one drop of water to another . He has not
been a fortnight at Algiers ; for as ſoon as the Turks
learned his profeſſion, they refuſed to lethim 1tay amongſt
them , and choſe mather to give hiin up, without any
ranſom , to the fathers of the redemption, who were far
from intending to redeem him , and have, ſore againſt
their will , brought him back to Spain .
For goodneſs fake tell me, ſaid the Itudent, who that
very odd four- locking fellow is, who walks by himſelf,
with a ſhambling gait, and his hat over his eyes. He
is , anſwered Aſmodeus, a very odd fellow indeed , and
the ill - nature in his countenance proceeds from having
nobody to talk to. He is one of thoſe diſagreeable peo
ple whom Horace has ſet a mark on by the name of quel
tion - alkers , or praters . Not content with the produce
of his own brains, he is enternally upon the hunt into
other people's affairs, for ſome circumitances to admini
fter eale to that reſtleſs, prating humour, ſo Mocking to
ali
 UPON TWO STICKS . 235
all mankind . And this fellow is ſo ſignally unfortunate
that way , that an eighteen inonths Navery of his own ,
together with that of the whole ſhip's crew, is owing to
this very ſilly habit of asking impertinent queſtions . For
whilit he was inquiring of the pilot the longitude and
latitude of ſeveral places, the knowledge of which could
never be of the lezit uſe to him , the pilot, diverted from
his obſervations by the young man's impertinence, fuf
fered the ſhip to run upon a bank of land, which gave
an Algerine rover timeto come up with them , and make
a ſeizure of her, and all that was in her . While you
live, continued he , avoid fuch company , trifling at belt ;
they are good for nothing but to diſturb the pleaſure and
repole of ſociety : and if they happen , for the plague
ofmankind, to be ill-natured with their curioſity, there
is no miſchief they are not capable of.
You need not fear my profiting by this piece of ad
vice, replied the ſtudent, for my own ſake at leaſt . Very
weil , ſaid the devil ; then let us reſume the thread ofour
obfervations, which that good -for-nothing creature has
broke in upon . Obſerve that other ſlave, that has a
little brown cap upon his bald pate. You , that have
ſuch a tender tecling for others' misfortunes, alas! how
much would you pity him , did you know the ſufferings
he has undergone in a tweive years ſlavery at Algiers,
under an Engliſh renegade, to whoſe lot he fell . And
who is that poor captive ? ſaid Zambullo. He is a cor
delier of Navarre, anſwered the dæmon . I nuit own I
am very glad he has ſuffered like a wretch as he is , tince,
by his dicourſes of morality, he hindered abovea hun
dred Chiltian flaves from taking the turban . And I
muſt tell you , with the faine freedom , replied Don Cleo
fas, that I am forry the good father has been lo long atthe
miercy of a barbarian . You are as much in the wrong
to be afilietel , as I to rejuice at it , aniwered Atinodeus.
For this friar has fo.well improved by his twelve years
fufferings , that it is much better for him to have pailed
that time in torments , than in his cell to combat temp
tations which he would not always have got the better of,
The
 236 THE DEVIL
Thecaptive that comes inmediately after the corde .
lier, ſaid Leandro Perez, looks very compoſed for a man
juſt come out oflavery. Heraiſes my curioſity to know
who he is . You are beforehand with me , replied the
cripple; I was going to point him out to you. In him
you ſee a citizen of Salamanca, an unhappy father, a mor
tal grown inſenſible of misfortunes , by having run
through ſo many. I am tempted to relate to you his
ſad ſtory, and there leave the reſt of the captives : and
indeed, after him , there are few whole adventures de
ſerve reciting: The ſtudent, already tired with ſeeing
ſo many fad figures,anſwered, he deſired nothing better.
Immediately the devil began the ſtory contained in the
following chapter.
c H A P. XXI .
Of the laſt fory that Aſmodeus told : How he was fud
denly interrupted as he was making an end of it ‫ܪ‬,and
how diſagreeablyfor him Don Cleofas and he were
parted.
PABLOS deBahabon, ſon of an Alcade of a ſmail
town in Old Caftile, after having divided herween
him felf, and one brother and a fifter, a mall inheritance
which their father,though a covetous man , had left them ,
fet out for Salamanca, with deſign to increaſe the great
number of ſtudents that then crowded to that univerſity,
He was well made, had wit, and was then in the twenty:
third year of his age .
With a good thouſand of ducats, and a very great in
clination to ſpend them in good cheer, he did not long
fail of being talked of in the city. All the young peo
ple ſtrove for a Mare in the friendſhip and entertainments
which Don Pablos every day gave. I lay Don, for he
had aſſumed that title, in order to ſupport bis intentions
to a greater familiarity with ſuch ſtudents whoſe nobis
Jity might otherwiſe have obliged him to behave with
greater reſerve. But ſo much did he love divertion and
good company, and ſo little did he manage his purle,
chat at fifteen month's end his money failed him . How
ever, he ſtill made a ſhift to rub on, as well by the ineans
of
 UPON TWO STICKS , 237
of credit he had given him , as of a few piſtoles he bor
sowed ; but that could not go far, and he foon remained
without reſource . Upon this, his friends , finding him
unable to live as he had done, forbore their vilts , and
his creditors began 10 plague him ; and though he aflued
the latter that in a few days he expected bills of exchange
from his own country, yet ſome of them grew impatient,
and purſued him ſo clolely with bailiffs , that he narrow
ly eſcaped being taken, when, as he was walking by the
fide of the river deTorines , he met an acquaintance who
accosted bim thus : Signier Don Pablos , take care of
yourſelf ; forI muit tell you , there are ſeveralbailiffs in
purſuit after you,and they intend to lay hold on you as
loon as ever you let your foot within the town .
Bahabon , terrified with this piece of news , which but
too well agreed with the ſtate of his affairs, immediately
made off towards Coiita : but left the road with intent
to gain a wood that was in his view, into which he threw
himſelf, reſolving to lieconcealed there, till night ſhould
befriend him with her darkness to purſue his journey
with more ſecurity . It was a tealon when the trees
were adorned with all their leaves ; he chose the thickeft ;
and got up into it, and there fat upon its branches, the
leaves of which entirely hid him . Thinking himself
ſafe here, the fear of bailiffs ſoon vaniſhed : and as men
make the fineſt reflections in the world when their faults
are committed, ſo he called over all his ill conduct, and
reſolved , if ever he ſhould ſee himſelf rich again, to make
a better uſe of his money ; but, above all , heiwore never
to be the bubble of thoſe talte friends who draw young
fellows into debauchery , and whole friendſhip is over
with the fumes of their wine . Whilft he was thus en
tertaining hinſelf with thoughts of a different kind ,that
crowded into his mind one after another, night came on .
Upon which , diſengaging himielf from the branches and
leaves that covered him , he was preparing to get down,
when , by the feeble light of the inoon, that was then new ,
he thought he difier ned the form of a man . At fight
of this his former fear returned , and he fancied it was
the
 238 THE DEVIL
the bailiff,who,having traced him , was looking for him
in the wood ; and his fear encreaſed upon ſeeing the man
fit down at the foot of the tree where he was, after go
ing two or three times round it .
The Devil upon Two Sticks ſtopped ſhort in his ſtory
here. Signior Żambullo, faid he to Don Cleofas, give
me leave for a few moments to divert myſelf with the
perplexity I fee I have at preſent put you into . You
are much in pain to know who the mortal could be that
came ſo unluckily thither, and what could have brought
him . This is what I am going this moment to let
you into . I will not abuſe your patience.
The man , after fitting down at the foot of the tree,
whoſe thick foliage hid Don Pablos from himn , reſted
himſelf for a few minutes. He then began to dig the
earth with a poignard, and made a large hole, wherein
he buried a leathern bag: he then filled up the hole, co
vered it carefully with moſs,and went away. Baha
bon , who had obſerved all this with the greatett atten.
tion, and whoſe fears were changed into tranſports of
joy , waited for the man's being at a diſtance, that he
might come down from his tree, and dig up the bag,
in which he did not doubt but he ſhould find either gold
or filver. To this end he made uſe of his knife ; but
had he had none, he found himſelf ſo eager for the work,
that with his hands only he would have penetrated to
the very centre of the earth .
The moment he had the bag in his hands, he began
to found it , and perſuaded there was money in it, he
haftened out of the wood with his booty, not ſo much
then tearing to meet a bailiff, as the man who owned
the bag. Tranſported as our ſtudent was with fo lucky
a hit, he walked nimbly all night long, without keep
ing any road,without feeling any fatigue or inconve.
nience from the burthen he was loaded with . But as
foon as the day glimmered , he ſtopped under fome trees,
pretty near the town of Molorido, not ſo much indeed
to reit himſelf, as at laſt to ſatisfy the curioſity he had
to examine into the contents of his bag . He therefore
untied
 UPON TWO STICKS . 239
untied it with that agreeable trembling you feel upon
the approach of any vaſt pleaſure. He therein found a
parcel of good double piſtoles, and, to crown his jos,
counted to the tune of two hundred and fifty. Having
contemplated them with exceflive fatisfaction, he began
to bethink himſelf very ſeriouſly what courle le ſhould
take ; and when he had formed his reſolution , faſtened
up his doubloons in his pocket, threw away the bag,
and went to Molorido. He inquired out an inn, where,
whilſt his breakfaſt was preparing, he hired a mule, and
that very day returned to Salamarca.
He perceived plainly , by the ſurpriſe every boly
ſhewed at ſeeing him again , that the reaſon of his dil
appearing was no ſecret ; but he had his atory ready .
He told them, that having occaſion for noney, and re
ceiving none from his own country, though he had
..
written for it twenty times, he had reſolved to take a
turn thither himſelt; and that the day before, juſt as
he got into Molorido, he had met his ileward with ino
ney. So that he now found it was in his power to un
deceive thole who thought him a man who had no for
tune. He added , he intended to thew his creditors they
were in the wrong to drive an honeſt man to extremities,
who long ago would have paid them , had his ſteward
been more punctual in remitting him his rents . In re
TA
ality, the next day he ſent for all his creditors, and paid
thein to the laſt farthing. The ſame friends that had
deferted him in his want, no rooner knew he had a freſh
ſupply of money, but they came flocking in upon him ,
and once more began to flatter him , hoping to divert
themſelves again at his expence. But he laughed at
thein in his turn, and religiouſly obſerving the oath he
had ſworn in the wood , fent them away abruptly . In
ſtead of following his former way of life, he turned his
3
thoughts towards making a progreſs in the ſcience of
the laws, and ſtudyliecame his lole employment.
However, you will ſay, he was all this while very
conscientiouſly ſpending the double piſtoles that did not
belong to him. I agree with you, and was only doing
what
 240 THE DEVIL
what four parts in five ofmankind would do in the like
cale . Yet he intended fome time or other to reitore
them , if by chance he ſhould diſcover who owned them .
But relying upon his good intentions, he ſpent them
without ſcruple, and patiently waited till he ſhould
find him out, which notwithſtanding he did about a
year alter.
The report ſpread about Salamanca, that a man of
that town, called Ambroſio Piquillo , going to a wood
to fetch a bag full of pieces of gold , which he had bu.
ried, had found nothing but the hole where he had
taken it into his head to bury thein , and that the poor
man was thereby reduced to beggary. I muſt ſay, in
praiſe of Bahabon , that the ſecret reproaches of his
conſcience at hearing this were not thrown away. He
inquired where Ambroſio lived , and made him a ville
in a little poor habitation, where all the furniture was
one chair and a wretched bed . Frienci, ſaid he, with
an hypocritical air , I have heard from common fame
the fad accident that has befallen you ; and charity
obliging us all to help one another as far as we can, I
am come to bring you fome ſmall aſliſtance. But I
ſhould be glad to hear your unfortunate adventure from
your own mouth .
Sir, anſwered Piquillo, I will tell you in a few words.
I had a ſon who uſed to rob me . I perceived it, and
fearing he might lay his hands upon a leather bag,
wherein I had two hundred and fitty good doubleons, I
thought I could not do better than to bury them in the
ſame wood whither I had the folly to carry them .
Since that unlucky day my ſon took all that I had , and
ran away with a woman whom he had debauched .
Finding myſelf in a deplorable condition , by the de
baucheries of this wicked ſon of mine, or rather by my
fooliſh tenderness for him , I had recourſe to my leathern
bag. But, alas ! the only hopes of ſublistence which I
hai left me were cruelly torn from me .
The poor man could not bring oui theſe words with.
out finuing his atidiction renewed, and thedding abun
daoce
 UPON TWO STICKS . 24.1
dance of tears . Don Pablos relented at fo moving a
ſcene, and ſaid to him , My dear Ambrofio, we inuſt not
lay the croſſes we meet with too much to heart : your
tears are ofno ſervice, they will never fetch back your
money, which is really lost to you , if it be fallen into
the hands of any raſcal. But who knows ? your dou
ble piſtoles may have fallen into an honeſt man's
hạnds, who to be ſure will reſtore them as ſoon as he
knows they belong to you . Come , perhaps you may
get them again ; do not deſpair of it ; and in the mean
while, added he (at the ſame time giving him ten of
thoſe very doubloons that came out of the leathern bag)
here, take this, and comeagain in eight days . Having
ſpoke thus to him , he told him his name, and where he
lived , and went outof the room , quite confounded at
the bleſſings and acknowledgments Ambroſio beſtowed
upon him . Such are for the moſt part all generous ac
tions ; we Mhould be far from admiring them , could we
fee into their motives .
At the eight days end , Piquillo, who had not forgot
Don Pablo's commands, went, and paid him a vilit .
· Bababon made very inuch of him , and iaid very affec
tionately to him , Friend , upon the good character I have
had of you , I am reſolved to contribute my utmoſt to
wards your re-eſtabliſhment. I will employ both my
credit and my puríe. As a beginning, continued he,
do you know what I have done ? I am acquainted with
fome perſons of diſtinction who are extremely charitable .
I have been with them , and have moved them to pity
you ſo much , that I have got two hundred crowns of
them for you . At the ſame time he went into his clo .
fet, and came out in a moment with a linen bag , where
in he had put that ſum in ſilver, and not in doubloons,
left the man might ſuſpect the truth of the matter, by
receiving ſo many double piſtoles. Whereas by this
artifice he obtained his end with more ſecurity, which
was to make reititution in ſuch a manner, as might re
concile bis coutſcience with his reputation . And indeed,
poor Ambroſio was far from thinking those crowns a
х reftitution .
 242 THE DEVIL
reſtitution . He ſincerely took them for a gathering
made for him ; and having again humbly thanked Don
Pablos, returned to his little cottage, bleſſing heaven all
the way for finding a gentleman to good as to take all
this trouble to ſerve him .
The next day he met a friend in the ſtreet, whoſe af.
fairs were not at all in a better poſture than his own,
and who ſaid to him , In two days I am going to Cadiz,
in order to embark on board a ſhip that is ſhortly
to ſet ſailfor New Spain. I do not like the way of
life I am in here, and my mind tells me I ſhall ſucceed
better at Mexico ; I would adviſe you to go with me,
if you can raiſe only a hundred crowns . I can raiſe
two hundred, anſwered Piquillo, without any trouble,
and would willingly undertake this voyage, were I ſure
of a livelihood in the Indies . Whereupon his friend
boaſted the fertility of New Spain, and laid before him
ſo many ways of growing rich, that Ambrofio, giving
into his friend's views, thought of nothing but of pre
paring to ſet out for Cadiz . But before he left Sala .
manca, he took care to have a letter left with Bahabon ,
wherein he told him, that having met with a very good
opportunity of going to the Indies, he had a mind to
make uſe of it, in order to try whether fortune would
be kinder to him in a new country than ſhe had been in
his own ; that he took the liberty of informing him of
it, and of aſſuring him he would never forget his great
favours to him .
Ambrofio's departure a little vexed Don Pablos, who
thereby law the ſcheme he had laid , by little and little
to diſcharge his conſcience, quite difconcerted . But
conlidering that in a few years the good old man might
return to Salamanca, he intenſibly grew eaſy, and ap
plied himſelf more than ever to the civil and canon laws,
and made fo prodigions a progreſs, as well by his ap
plication , as the quickneſs of his parts, that he became
the most ſhining member of the univerſity, and was at
laſt choſen rector of it . He was not content with ſup
porting that honour by his profound learning, but took
3 ſuch
a
 UPON TWO STICKS . 243
ſuch infinite pains with himſelf, as to acquire all the
qualities of a man of honour and integrity , Whilft he
was rector, he heard that a young fellow of Salamanca
had been committed to priſon upon an accuſation for
rape, and was upon the point of being executed. Ba
habon, upon this , remembering that Piquillo's ſon had
1
carried off a woman, inquired who the priſoner was,
and being informed it was this very ſon of Piquillo,
undertook his defence . One admirable circumſtance in
the ſcience of law is , that it furniſhes arguments on
both ſides ; and as our rector was a complete maſter of
it , he made an excellent uſe of it in defence of the crie
minal . It is true he joined to it the credit of his friends,
and the ſtrongeſt folicitation ; which, indeed, did more
than all the reſt .
The criminal then came off whiter than ſnow . He
went to thank his deliverer, who ſaid thus to him : I
have ſerved youi, but it was in regard to your father :
I love him ; and, to give you a freſh inſtance of it, if
you have any thoughts of continuing here, and living
honeſtly , I will undertake to make a man of you ; if ,
as your father has done, you have a mind to take a trip
to the Indies, you may be ſure of fifty piſtoles ; I en .
gage my word for them . Young Piquillo made him
this anſwer: Since I have the honour of your Lordſhip's
protection , I ſhould act very wrong to leave a place
where I enjoy fo great an advantage. No, my Lord, I
will remain at Salamanca, and do proteſt to you,that
my conduct shall be ſuch as ſhall pleaſe you. Upon
theſe aſſurances, the rector put twenty piſtoles in his
hands, ſaying, Here, friend, take thele ; take up ſome
honeft profeſſion, employ your time well, and reſt af.
ſured that I will not deſert you .
About two months afterwards, it happened that young
Piquillo, who, from time to time uſed to make his court
to Don Pablos, one day appeared before him all in tears .
What is the matter with you ? ſaid Bahabon . Sir, an .
ſwered the ſon of Ambroſio, I have ju t heard a piece
of news that breaks my heart. My father has been
X2 taken
 244 THE DEVIL
taken by an Algerinę rover, and is actually in chains.
An old man of this town , who is returned from Algiers,
after a ten years llavery , whom the Fathers of Mercy
have lately redeemed, juſt now told me he left him there
a captive . Alas ! added he, beating his breaſt, and
tearing his hair, Wretch that I am ! it was my de
baucheries forced my father to hidehis money, and ba
niſh himself from his country ! it is I that have deli
vered hinn up to a barbarian who is loading him with
fetiers ! Ah ! Signior Don Pablos, why did you reſ.
cue me from the hands of juſtice ? Since you loved my
father, you ſhould have been his avenger, and ſuffered
me, by my death , to have expiated the horrid , horrid
crime , of having cauſed all his calamities. At this diſ
courſe, which thewed a rakih ſon converted , the rector
was moved with the grief which the young Piquillo
teſtified . My child, laid he, it is with pleaſure I ſee
you repent of your faults; but dry up your tears . It
is ſufficient that I know what is become of Ambroſio ,
to aſſure you that you ſhall ſee him again. His liberty
is to be purchaſedwith a ranſom , and that I take upon
myſelf. Whatever he may have ſuffered, I am per
fuaded that finding a diſcreet, affectionate ſon in you,
at his return , he will no more complain of his ill
fortune.
Don Pablos eaſed the mind of Ambrofio's ſon by this
promiſe, and three or four days after ſet out for Ma
drid , where, upon his arrival , he put into the hands of
the Fathers of Mercy a purſe of an hundred piſtoles,
with a little label upon it in theſe words : This ſum is
given the Fathers of Redemption, for the ranſom ofa poor
citizen of Salamanca, named Ambroſio Piquillo ,coprive
at Algiers. Thoſe good fathers, in their laſt voyage
to Algiers , have punctually followed the rector's in
tention. They have redeemed Ambroſio, who is the
Have whoſe compoſed air you ſo much admired . But
methinks, ſaid Don Cleofas, Bahabon is now not at all
in the citizen's debt . Don Pablos is not of your
opinion , aniwered Aſinodeus. He intends to return
both
 UPON TWO STICKS . 245
both principal and intereſt . His nice conſcience is even
fcrupulousof enjoying the wealth he has acquired du
ring his rectorſhip. And when he fees Piquillo, he in
tends to ſay thusto him : My dear friend Ambroſio, no
longer look on me as your benefactor ; in meyou only ſee
a rafralwhodug up the money you did in the wood. It
is not ſufficient for meto reſtore jou your two hundred and
fifty doubloons,ſince I made uſeofit to attain the rank I
bold in life; whatever I have is your's. I will keep no
more than you shall judge nece{jary to~ Here the devil
upon two ſticks ſtopt Mort. He was ſuddenly taken
with a friſon, and changed colour.
What is the matter ? ſaid the ſtudent. What extraor
dinary motion makes you ſhake, and ſtop ſhort ? Ah,
Signior Leandro, cried the dæmon, with a trembling
voice, how unfortunate am I ! The conjuror, who kept
me in the bottle in his laboratory, has found I am flown .
He is going to recallme by ſuch forcible conjurations
as I cannot refift. What a mortification is this to ine !
faid Don Cleofas, quite ſoftened with compaſſion ; and
what a lots am I going to ſuffer ! Alas, we are going
to part for ever. I do not think ſo, anſwered Aſmo
deus. The magician may want my aſliſtance; and if I
have the good fortune to do him any ſervice, perhaps
out of gratitude he may give me my liberty. If that
ſhould happen, as I hope, depend upon it I will ſoon
be with you, upon condition that you reveal to no fout
living what has this night paſſed between us ; for
ſhould you be ſo indiſcreet as to impart it to any body ,
I tell you beforehand, you will never fee me more.
What makes my leaving you a little eaſier to me,
purſued he, is , that, at the worſt, I have made your
fortune. You will marry the fair Seraphina, whom I
have made doatingly fond of you . Signior Don Pedro
de Eſcolano , her father, is reſolved to marry her to you.
Do not let flip fo fine a ſettlement. But , bleſsme!
added he, I already hear the magician call me ; all hell
rings with the terrible words pronounced by this formi
dable cabaliſt. I cannot ftay any longer with your
X 3 Lord hip
 246 THE DEVIL

Lordſhip. Adieu, dear Zambullo , till I ſee you again.

At theſe words, he embraced Don Cleofas, and having
ſeen him ſafe to his apartment,diſappeared .
CHA P. XXII .
Ofwhat Don Cleofas did after the devil bad left him ,
and how the author of this work thought fit to end it.
ASToon
himſelfasfacigued
Asmodeuswas gone,been
with having thefudent,finding
all the night on
his legs , beftirring himſelf, undreſſed , and went to bed
to take a little relt. His fpirits were ſo agitated he
could hardly get to ſleep ; but at lait, paying Morpheus
that tribute, which all mortals owe, with uſury, he fell
into a dead ſleep, in which he continued that wholeday
and the following night. In this condition he had re
mained for four and i wenty hours, when Don Lewis de
Lujana , a young gentleman of his acquaintance, came
into his chamber, crying out, as loud as he could ,
Soho ! Signior Don Cleofas, up , up. At this noiſe
Zambullo waked . Do you know , ſaid Don Lewis ,
that you have been a- bed ever ſince yeſterday morning ?
That is impoſſible , anſwered Leandro .. And yet no
thing can be more true, replied his friend : you have
ſlept the clock round twice. Every body in the houſe
has aſſured me it is a fact. The Itudent, aſtoniſhed at
ſo long a nap , was at firſt afraid that his adventure with
the Devil upon Two Sticks was no more than a dream .
Yet he could not think ſo neither; and when he recall.
ed ſome particular circumſtances, he no longer doubted
but what he had ſeen was real. However , to eaſe his
doubts, he got up , dreſied with all halte , and went out
with Don Lewis, whom he carried toward the gate of
the ſun , without telling him any reaſon . When they
were there, and Don Cleofas found Don Pedro's houſe
almoſt burnt to the ground , he pretended a ſurpriſe.
What is this I fee ! ſaid he . What ſad work the fire
has made here ! Whoſe was the unfortunate houſe ? Is
it long ſince it was burnt ?
· Don Lewis de Lujana anſwered his two queſtions ,
and thus purſued his diſcourſe : The vaſt damages of
this
 UPON TWO STICKS . 247
this firemake leſs noiſe in the city than a circumſtance
I am going to tell you. Signior Don Pedro de Eſco
lano has an only daughter, beautiful as the day. They
ſay ſhe was in a room filled with fire and finoke, where
the muſt inevitably have periſhed , and ſhe was relcued ,
notwithſtanding, by a young gentleman whoſe name I
have not yet learned. It is the common topic of every
converſation at Madrid . The cavalier's bravery is cried
up to the ſkies ; and it is believed , that though he be
nothing more than a private gentleman, he may very
well obtain the daughter of Don Pedro , as the reward
of fo glorious an action. Leandro Perez liſtened to Don
Lewis without ſhewing he was the leaſt concerned in
what he was talking of; and diſergaging himſelf upon
an excuſe he feigned, he went to the Prado, and fit
ting down under fome trees, fell into a deep thought.
Immediately the devil upon two ſticks came into his
mind . I cannot , ſaid he, too much regret my dear
Almodtus . He would in a ſhort time have carried me
all over the world , and I ſhould have made that tour
without any of the inconveniences that travelling is
liable to . Doubtleſs I have a great loſs ; but, preſently
ſubjoined he, perhaps it is not irreparable. Why thould
I deſpair of ſeeing him again ? It may happen, as he
himſelf ſaid , that the conjuror may immediately give
him his liberty. Then , thinking of Don Pedro and
his daughter,he reſolved to make him a viſit, pushed
on by the curioſity alone of ſeeing the fair Seraphina.
The momenthe appeared before Don Pedro , that lord
ran and embraced him with open arms , crying out ,
Welcome, generous cavalier. I began to be angry
with you . How , faid I, after the preſiing inſtances I
made Don Cleoſas to come and ſee me , is he ftill abſent
from my eyes ? How ill does he return the impatience
I feel to teſtify the eſteein and friendlip I have for liim ?
Zambullo hung down his head, out of reſpect , at ſo
obliging a reproach ,and excuſed himſelf to the old gentle .
manbytelling him, he feared he ſhould have been trouble .
fome in the contution he muſt have been in the day be.
fore ,
 248 THE DEVIL
fore. That excuſe will not ſatisfy me,replied Don Pedro;
you could never be troublelome in a houſe, where, had it
not been foryou , a greater ſadneſs would have reigned .
But, added he, be pleaſed to follow me ; you have other
thanks to receive beſides mine. At there words he
took him by the hand , and led him into Seraphina's
apartment. That lady was juſt come from prayers.
Daughter, ſaid herfather, I amcome to preſent the
gentleman to you who ſo bravely ſaved your life. Shew
him how ſentible you are of the great favour he did you,
ſince the condition you was in the day before yeſterday
would not permit you to do it then . Whereupon
Signora Seraphina, opening a mouth of roſes, addreſſed
herſelf to him in a compliment that would charm all my
readers, could I repeat it word for word ; but as it has
not been handed down to me exactly, I chute rather to
paſs over it in ſilence than ſpoil it.
I Mall only fay that DonCleofas imagined it was a
divinity he ſaw and heard , and that he was at once
taken by the eyes and the ears . Immediately he telt á
violent paſſion for her. But far from conſidering her as
one he was ſure of marrying, he doubted , notwithſtand.
ing all the devil had faid , whether fo glorious a reward
was to be the recompence of a ſervice they imagined he
had done them . The more charming ſhe appeared to
him , the leſs did he dare to flatter himſelf with the hap
pineſs of gaining her. What confirmed him in his un
certainty of obtaining fo great a bleſſing was, that Don
Pedro, during the long converſation they had, never
touched once upon that ſtring, and only loaded him
with civilities , without hinting the leaſt deſire to be his
father-in -law . Seraphina too, on her ſide, as polite as
her papa , turned the diſcourſe wholly upon gratitude,
without making uſe of any expreſſion that could give
Zambullo room to think that the loved him . So that he
took his leave of Signior Eſcolano with a great deal of
love, and very little hope. Friend Aſmodeus, ſaid he,
in his way home, as if he had ſtill been with the devil,
when you aſſured me that Don Pedro was inclined to
make
 UPON TWO STICKS . 249
make me his ſon -in -law , and that Seraphina burnt with
a lively flame, which you had inſpired her with for me,
you muſt have intended to divert yourſelf at my expence ,
or elſe you muſt own that you know as little of the pre
fent as the future.
Our ſtudent was forry he had viſited the lady, and ,
looking upon his paſſion for her as an ill -fated love he
ought to conquer, reſolved to ſpare no pains to accom
pliſh it. He went farther ; he reproached himſelf with
his eagerneſs at puſhing his deſign, fuppoſing he had
found thefather inclined to grant him his daughter, and
he locked on it as ſhameful to owe his happineſs to an
artifice . He was full of theſe reflections, when Don
Pedro, having ſent for him the next day, began thụs.
Signior Leandro Perez, it is time for me to prove by my
actions, that when you obliged me, you did not do a
good office to one of thoſe courtiers, who, were he in
my place, would content himſelf with returning it with
a little court holy water, But I intend that Seraphina
herſelf ſhall be the reward of that danger you run upon her
account . I muſt tell you too, that I have found her to
be myown daughter, in the propoſal I made her of mar
rying her deliverer. She ſhewed her joy, by a tranſport
which has convinced ine that her gratitude equalsmyown.
It is then reſolved on ; you ſhall have my daughter. At
theſe words the good Signior de Eſcolano, who expected
Don Cleofas would have returned his moſt humblethanks
for fo great a favour, was ſurprized to ſee him ſtand
ſpeechleſs and confounded . Speak, Zambullo, ſaid he .
What am I to think of the diſorder my propoſal has put
you into ? What can have ſet you againſt her ? Ought a
private gentleman to refuſe an alliance by which a
grandee would think himſelf honoured ? Has the nobi
lity of my family any blemiſh that I am a ſtranger to ?
My Lord , anſwered Leandro , am but too ſenſible
of the diſtance which heaven has placed between us ,
Wherefore, then replied Don Pedro, do you ſeem ſo
little pleaſed at a marriage that does you ſo much ho
nour ? Come, be ingenuous, Don Cleofas : you are in
love
 250 THE DEVIL UPON TWO STICKS .
love with ſome lady to whom youhave given yourfaith ;
and it is the whoſe intereſt, at this time, ſtands as a bar
to your advancement. Had I a miſtreſs to whom I
might have engaged myſelf by any oath , anſwered the
ſtudent, without doubt no reaſon ſhould induce me to
be falſe to her. But it is not that which prevents my
accepting your favours . The nice notion I have of
honour commands me to forego the glorious eſtabliſh
ment you deſign me, and,far from intending to make an
ill uſe of the error you are in, I am going to undeceive
you : I am not Seraphina's deliverer . What do I hear !
cried the old gentleman, in amaze : was it not you that
reſcued her from the flames that were going to devour
her ? Was it not you that performed fo gallant an ac
tion ? No, my Lord, anſwered Zambullo. Vain had
been that attempt to any mortal man ; and I will plain
ly tell you it was a devil that ſaved your daughter.
Theſe words increaſed Don Pedro's ſurpriſe, who,
thinking he ought not to underſtand them in a literal
ſenſe, deſired the ſtudent to ſpeak plainer. Upon this,
Leandro, without giving himſelf any painfor Afmo
deus's friendſhip, told him all that had paſſed between
the devil and himſelf. The old gentleman then reſumed
the diſcourſe, and ſaid to Don Cleofas, The confidence
you have now repoſed in me, confirms me in my deſign
of giving you my daughter. You are originally her
deliverer ; had not youinterceded with the Devil upon
Two Sticks to ſnatch her from impending death , hehad
infallibly luffered her to periſh . It is you, therefore,
that have preſerved Seraphina's days. In a word, you
have deferved her, and I offer her you with half my
eltate . Leandro Perez , at theſe words, which eaſed all 1
ſcruples , threw himſelf at Don Pedro's feet, in order
to thank him for his great goodneſs. Shortly after , the
wedding was celebrated with a magnificence ſuitable to
the heireſs of Signior Eſcolano, and to the great fatis
faction of the friends of our ſtudent, who was thereby
well rewarded for a few hours of liberty which he had
procured The Devil upon Two Sticks.
FINI S.
 COOKE's
Uniform , Cheap and Elegant
POCKET LIBRARY .
Either of the Works may be had detached from the General Collection , or
in ſeparate Numbers,
Price only Sixpence each.
The Readers may therefore confine their Choice to thoſe only which they
moſt approve .

SELECT POETS .
Price. Authors. Price .
Authors.
Goldimith I No. o 6 1 Broome 2 Nos , I O
I No. O 6 Mallett 2 Nos. IO
Gray 1 No. O 6 Cunningham - 2 Nos. 1 0
Armſtrong 2 Nos .
Falconer I No. O 6 La idowne I
I No. 06 Blackmore 2 Nes I O
14 Collins 2 Nos . I
Olway I No. 0 6 Moore -
I No. 06 Meicle 2 Nos . 1 0
Snioilett
Johnton I No. o 6 Glover - 3 Nos. 6
Pomfret I No. 06 Shakeſpeare 3 Nos . I 6
I No. o 6 Thon1ion 3 Nos. 1 O
Dodſley I No. 06 Shenitone 3 Nos. 1 6
Lyıtleton
Walſh 1 No. 06 Akenride - 3 Nos. I 6
Garth - I No. 06 Parrel - 3 Nos . 6
Sheffield I No. 06 Waller 3 Ns. I 6
Addifon 2 Nos . IO Langhorre 3 Nos. 16
Congreve 2 Nos . 10 Young 6 No$ . 4 0
Tickel - 2 Nos . 1 O Pope 8 Nos , 4 o
Fenton 2 Nos . 1 0 Milton 8 Nos, o
Rowe - 2 Nos. 1 o Dryden - 11 Nos. 5 6

SACRED CLASSICS .
ооо

Death of Abel o 6 Rowe's Exerciſes 1

. 06 Centaur not Fabulous 1
Economy of Life 1 o Roue's Letters 2
Ajdiion's Evidences
Dodd on Death - 1 o Hervey's M. ditations - O 2
Dodd's Priſon Thoughts 1 o | Pilgriin's Progreſs
0 2

Although B :nyan's Pilgrim's Progr. fs cannot come under the Denoni sia
tion of a Claffic Production, we have introduced it in the Sacred Claſſics,
as it exhibits a very curious Specimen of the Allegorical Style of Writing,
and , from jis moral Tendency, serves to co-operate with other Works in pro
moling the important Cauſe of Religion and Virtue.

BRITISH CLASSICS .
Goldſmith's Effays 1 o Citizen of the World . 3 6
Idice z Rambler : - १४
Adventurer Spectator Connoiffeur
Guasdian Tatier Mirror
 SELECT NOVELS .
Novels. Authors, Quantity. Price.
Solyman and Almena Langhorne No. 06
Ziad g Voltaire 1 No. 6
Caſtle of Ot anto Muralto I No.06
Almoran and Hamet Hawkeſworth I No.'06
Sentimental Journey • Siege 1 No:-06
Sheridan I NO . 06
Nourjahad 2 Nos . I O
Rafte as Johnston
Thcodofius and Conftantia Langkapne as Nos.
Minton el
2. Nos. Io
I O
Beif rius
Pompey the Little Coventry 2 Nos. Io
Cardid - Voltaire 2 Nos. 10
Pervian Princeſs Grafigny 2 Nos . 1 O
Louiſa Mildmay . Kelly 2 Nos . Io
Journey to the next World Fielding 2 Nos . Io
Adventures of an Atom Smollett 3 Nos. 16
Vicar of Wakefield Goldmih 3 Nos . 16
Chinele Tales - Guleulet 3 Nos . I 6
Launcelot Greaves Sino leit 3 Nos . 1 6
Tale of a Tub Swift 3 Nos. 16
Tonathan Wild Fielding 3 Nos . I 6
Devil on Two Sticks - Le Sage 4 Nos. 2
Gulliver's Travels Swilt 4 Nos.:20
Joſeph Andrews Fielding 4 Nos. 2 O
Sitters Dodd 4 Nos . 2 O
Telemachus Ferelon 6 Nos . 3 O
Humphiy Clinker Smollett 6 Nos. 30
Moral Tales Marmontel 7 Nos. 3.6
Couit Farnom Smollett 7 Nos. 36
Tales of the Genii Morell - 7 Nos . 36
R dric Randoni Smollett 7 Vos . 3
"Triftrarn Shandy Sterne 8 Nos . 4. O
Rob níon Cruſoe De Foe - 8 Nos . 4
Amelia - Fielding 9 Aos . 4
Alventures of a Guinea 10 Nos. 5
G1 Bias Le Sage 11 Nos . 56
Peregrine Pickle Smollett 13 Nos. 66
Tom Jones - Felding 13 Moz. 66
Don Quixote Smollett 16 Nos . 8 a

TheWorks
Fliimation , as enremerated in this
none vill gain Catalogue
Aamifion into this be followed
willLibrary juchothers
, bui by of equal
as have been
Strampe.I with univerſal ipprobation .
it has been the Endeavour of the Proprietor, through the whole of his
Pucket Library, to unite the Two impor ant Objects of moderate Charge and :
elegant Execution. As the Works already prinied are ſo numer us, they af.
jord fufficient Specimens of wh11may be expected from the future ; and on
that Teſt alone the Proprieior reits bis Pretenſions to the permanent Rept
fation of the Editions he now offers, as he th:ll ever pride himſelf in having
prelerted to the Public, tiroig is own Exertions, and the Aid of emi
Sent Atifts , Works unrivalled in Paper, Print, or Embellishment,
In order to piele ve an Uniformity in the size of the ſmall Volumes, it
is recommendeil to unite in the bindino, thole Works which are compriſed
in One Nunber with thote which are comprifed in Two,
అందుకు ా్ని
కూడా
కుకు
అనుకుంటే
అ*A-కకాలము
-నందుకు
 Knihař
A. Laufberger
PRAHA 743-11 PE
Buc