Adamson, Almodóvar - All About My Mothe
Adamson, Almodóvar - All About My Mothe
Samuel Adamson
c/o Katie Haines
The Agency (London) Ltd
24 Pottery Lane
London W11 4LZ
phone: 020 7727 1346 / fax: 020 7727 9037
[email protected]
ACT ONE
1. A spotlight, a microphone. Esteban, 17, steps into the light, takes the microphone, taps.
Esteban One, two, two.
I found this old photo of my mother last night. She looks young. She’s standing in
front of a shack on some beach, and she’s wearing this massive straw hat, and she’s
smiling like she’s tripping; my guess is mescaline. It’s like a portal into a time I wasn’t
alive — but I’m not allowed through, because the photo’s been ripped in half. I’m
seventeen today, but I look older. I’ve got the face of a boy who lives alone with his
mother. Special, serious … a thinker, a writer. I went to her room and found piles of
old photos … every one has a piece torn away. She has to realise, I don’t give a shit
what he did to her when they were together, I need to understand who he was.
He puts the microphone down, retreats from the light. It starts to rain.
2. Manuela, late 30s, on an ugly plastic chair, grief-stricken. With her, a Doctor in a
white coat and a psychologist, Alicia. They are pooled in unforgiving light.
Doctor Unfortunately, señora …
Manuela No … I just saw him, he was breathing …
Doctor The life-support.
Manuela A coma?
Doctor No … the machine is pumping oxygen inside his body.
Manuela Then he could pull through. He’s strong.
Doctor Brain death is not an easy thing to understand. There’s no hope. I’m sorry.
Manuela’s grief overtakes her. She wails till it’s almost unbearable. The Doctor becomes
uncomfortable. Alicia remains calm.
Doctor Señora … did your son ever … talk about death … when he was alive?
Manuela He was a boy … why would he talk about death?
Doctor Sometimes even young people make decisions about their bodies … what should
happen in the case of an accident. Señora, your son’s organs could be used in a
transplant.
Manuela Someone could save him?
Doctor Not quite. Vice-versa.
Alicia What my colleague means is that your son could help to save the lives of other
patients. But we’d need your consent.
Manuela You want to mutilate him?
Doctor No, it’s an internal operation, very simple.
Manuela Who would you give them to?
Doctor The patients who need them most.
Manuela Muslims?
These filthy rich Arabs who go round buying organs to flog on the black market?
Doctor Señora, Spain is part of the European Pain for Organ —
Alicia (corrects him, sotto voce) Plan.
Doctor Part of the European Pan for Organ —
Alicia Plan.
Doctor — Plan for Organ Donation.
He’s perspiring; he gestures to Alicia in frustration; she indicates he should continue.
Doctor The recipient could be any race or creed.
Manuela I’d want them to stay in Madrid.
Doctor You wouldn’t have that / choice
Manuela Prove to me he’s dead!
Doctor The National Transplant Organisation has / procedures
Manuela Let me see him —
Doctor Please, / señora
Manuela I said let me see him!
Enter Esteban, wet from the rain, in a shaft of light. Manuela clocks him mid-wail.
Doctor Señora?
Manuela I — (Seems on the verge of speaking to Esteban, then resumes her grief)
Doctor Is there someone else we can contact?
Manuela No.
Doctor Then will you sign a consent?
Manuela You’re full of shit! I read about the man who came to this hospital for a
vasectomy and left without a foreskin.
Doctor What?
How the hell am I supposed to respond to that!?
Alicia OK, let’s stop.
The harsh light is flicked off, room lights on: this is a seminar in a hospital lecture-
room/hall. A Cameraman/woman has been filming them: the simulation transmitted in
real time on to a monitor/screen for the lecture-room audience. Alicia picks up the
microphone.
Alicia So, what happened?
Doctor I’m sorry, Alicia … it’s just … that seemed insane …
Alicia Perhaps. But some people are.
Doctor I mean … well … I don’t think she’d say that.
Alicia Manuela?
Manuela She’s a grieving mother, we have no idea what she’d say.
Sorry … my son.
Everyone turns to look at him.
Esteban Hello.
Alicia Your son? Manuela … he should leave.
Manuela (sotto voce) What are you doing here …?
Alicia OK, everyone, let’s play it back and see what we’d change.
She rewinds with a remote: we now see the simulation the lecture-room sees on the
monitor/screen. Esteban is fascinated. Manuela approaches him.
Film Doctor … the machine is pumping oxygen inside his body.
Film Manuela Then he could pull through. He’s strong.
Film Doctor Brain death is not an easy thing to understand. There’s no hope. I’m sorry.
Alicia (pauses replay) Not bad, so far. (Fast-forwards film)
Manuela Esteban.
Esteban I’m trying to watch, Mama. (Produces a notebook)
Manuela You heard her …
4. Out of the darkness, lighted candles on a birthday cake, held by Manuela. Esteban
quickly grabs a book, settles, pretends to read.
Manuela’s Voice Esteban? Esteban?
Why didn’t you answer?
Esteban I did.
Manuela Happy birthday.
Esteban It’s not my birthday.
Manuela It’s just gone midnight. Come on, quickly.
Esteban (blows candles out) Shall I tell you what I wished for?
Manuela Of course not. (Cuts cake) What are you reading?
Esteban Mama …
What do you think about when you cry in those transplant simulations?
Manuela Nothing. I don’t cry.
Esteban You did.
Manuela And you shouldn’t have barged in …
Esteban But where did you learn to act like that?
Manuela Nowhere. I just do it.
Esteban You must think about something.
Manuela No. I just empty my mind.
Esteban My father?
Manuela What makes you say that?
5. Esteban and Manuela, sitting side-by-side, watching Nina: she is Stella in Tennessee
Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire. She is pregnant. Huma Rojo, a certain age, is
Blanche DuBois. Mario del Toro, 20s, is Stanley.
Nina as Stella: Blanche?
Huma as Blanche: Oh, those pretty, pretty little candles! You ought to save them
for baby’s birthdays. Oh, I hope candles are going to glow in his life and I hope
that his eyes are going to be like candles, like two blue candles lighted in a white
cake!
Stanley: Sister Blanche, I’ve got a little birthday remembrance for you.
Blanche: Oh, have you, Stanley? I wasn’t expecting any, I — I don’t know why
Stella wants to observe my birthday! When you — reach twenty-seven! Well —
age is a subject that you’d prefer to — ignore!
He is holding a little envelope towards her.
Blanche: What is it? Why, why — Why, it’s a —
Stanley: Ticket! On the Greyhound! Tuesday!
Stella rises abruptly and turns her back. Blanche clutches her throat and runs into the
bathroom. Coughing, gagging sounds are heard.
Stella: You didn’t need to do that. You needn’t have been so cruel.
Stanley: Delicate piece she is.
Stella: She is. She was. You didn’t know Blanche as a girl. Nobody was tender and
trusting as she was. But people like you abused her, and forced her to change.
She catches hold of his shirt.
Stella: Why did you do this to her?
Stanley: I done nothing to no one. Let go of my shirt. You’ve torn it.
Stella: I want to know why.
Stanley: When we first met, you thought I was common … and how you loved it …!
Wasn’t we happy together? Wasn’t it all okay? Till she showed here?
Stella feels the child inside her palpitate, grabs her stomach, finds furniture to lean on.
Stanley: Hoity-toity, describing me as an ape. Hey, what is it, Stell?
Stella: Take me to the hospital.
He supports her with his arm and goes outside. Blanche comes out, singing:
Blanche: Say it’s only a paper moon,
Sailing over a cardboard sea.
But it wouldn’t be make-believe
If you believed …
She blows the candles out. Whoosh.
Esteban She’s incredible, Mama, I’ll never get a chance like this again.
He makes for the theatre; traffic, headlights.
Manuela All right, all right … for goodness’ sake, get under the umbrella.
They wait.
Esteban Did Stanley rape Blanche?
Manuela Yeah. She didn’t lose her mind, he took it from her.
What if no one comes out?
An Actress (Isabel) comes out of the stage-door, rushes off. Thunder, heavier rain.
Esteban I don’t think I’ll ever see another performance like that. The definitive Blanche.
Manuela She was good.
Esteban You preferred Nina Cruz, didn’t you?
Manuela Actually, I could take or leave Nina Cruz.
Esteban But I saw you crying.
Manuela It was the writing, not the acting.
I’ve been in Streetcar.
Esteban Really?
Manuela When I was young, I belonged to an amateur company.
Esteban I knew it!
Manuela I played Stella. I was pretty good.
Your father was Stanley.
Esteban stares at her.
Manuela She could be ages. This is crazy.
Esteban (takes photograph from his pocket) Where was this photo taken?
Manuela Where did you get that?
Esteban Look at you … you look so young. But modern, too. Are you stoned or
something? Drugs down by the sea?!
Manuela Where, Esteban?
Esteban A shoebox. There were hundreds of them.
Manuela You shouldn’t be looking through my things.
Esteban How else would I know anything about what you were like before I was born?
Why is half missing?
Mario comes out of the stage-door, rushes off.
Esteban You just ripped my father away, as if he never existed?
Manuela It’s complicated.
Esteban It’s not fair! Stop saying ‘he’s dead’ … you have to tell me about him. Who
was he? Who? Did he even know about me?
Manuela I’ll talk to you when we get home.
Esteban No, Mama —
Manuela I’ll tell you everything then.
Esteban You never do! I’m seventeen! Don’t you get it? It’s like I only have half a
life… if you’re ashamed of him, you must be ashamed of me.
Manuela I promise …
But Esteban has winded her. He begins the story for her:
Esteban Eighteen years ago, you left Argentina and came to Madrid …
Manuela (shakes head) Not Madrid. Barcelona. I left home to be with a friend in
Barcelona. But I only stayed a year. Then we ran away.
Esteban You and your friend?
Manuela You and I, Esteban. We got on a train and came to Madrid together. You were
inside me.
Esteban Why did we leave?
Huma and Nina come out of the stage-door. Huma is wearing a magnificent cape.
Headlights capture them, illuminating Huma in the manner of an iconic photograph: the
actress, standing against her own theatrically magnified image. Esteban is thunderstruck.
Esteban Huma. (Shouts) Señora Rojo?!
Huma looks across to Esteban. He half waves his notebook at her. Nina walks off into the
night. Huma is drawn away by Nina. Noisy traffic, headlights.
Esteban Wait, Señora Rojo!
Huma turns towards him and again she is illuminated. She and the boy share a moment,
she smiles, the stuff of his dreams. Then it’s over, and Huma disappears into the traffic.
Manuela Forget it, Esteban. Come on, let’s go home …
7. Alicia and the Doctor with Manuela, who is on the ugly plastic chair. A familiar
image, except Manuela’s hair is wet, she is wearing the wet, stained raincoat and she is
clutching Esteban’s rain-and-blood-stained notebook.
Doctor Manuela, we did everything we could.
Bleep.
Doctor Unfortunately …
Manuela (chokes on her grief) My son …
Bleep.
Alicia You know what I have to ask you … Will you sign the consent?
She puts a pen in Manuela’s hand, guides her to sign a release form. Manuela signs,
lifelessly. Alicia hands the form to the Doctor, who leaves with it.
Alicia I’m so sorry, Manuela …
Manuela No … no … let me …
She tries to stand, her body gives way; Alicia catches her; they are on the ground.
Manuela My son … my son … please …
Bleeeeeeep.
8. The spotlight, the microphone. Agrado, 40, steps into the light. She is wearing a two-
piece Chanel suit. She taps the microphone, peers out nervously.
Agrado One, two, two. Two.
Ladies and gentlemen, could I have your attention please. Good evening. I’m very
sorry … but something’s gone wrong. I could say it’s a technical hitch, but that would
be a lie: it’s human, like most hitches. Suffice to say that owing to circumstances
beyond the management’s control, we have to cancel. (To lighting box) House lights,
please.
House lights up.
Agrado There’s an usher. See if you can prise a refund out of him.
Then again, if you’re open to pleasure, how vile to go back out there, when here you
are — in the theatre! (To someone in front row) Oh, hello! Remember me? Under the
bridge? I never forget a face. Especially one I first saw from waist-height. And your
wife, is it? Evening, señora. How quaint, a beard. So retro it’s practically chic.
Where was I? Oh yes — I say stay, and I promise to entertain you with the story of my
life. Don’t leave, it’s hell out there; Barcelona is a dump these days, don’t you think?
(To lighting box) Pablo? Pablo, house lights down, love, they’re doing these people no
favours …
House lights out.
Agrado Barcelona? — I spit on Barcelona: nothing but a haven for drag queens. On the
streets, you have the whores, the transvestite whores, and nowadays, the drags, and
they’re killing the whores and trannies; the red-light district is like a drag-queen tea-
party at 3 a.m. on a Friday. Listen up, drag queens — I see you — transvestism is not
a circus! A woman is her hair, her nails, good pouty lips to bitch with. Now … with
me, you get authenticity. My name is Agrado. It means ‘pleasure’. (As we know, one
or two of you here tonight have already had the pleasure). Take a good look at my
body. I am my very own project. Tits, two of them, bought in Paris —
[Voice From Theatre Box (Mario) How much they cost you, love?!
Agrado Premature interjection, honey, I was getting to that.] Seventy thousand pesetas
per tit.
Spot flickers.
Agrado Impressive, Pablo, I know.
Eyes, shaped like diamonds —
All About My Mother
based on the film by Pedro Almodóvar
a play by Samuel Adamson
13
9. Agrado, in a struggle with a Client. She is dressed for the game (i.e., no sign of the
Chanel, which has been ripped off in the fight).
Client Stop moving —
Agrado Get out of my house, stalker.
Client We had an agreement —
Agrado You paid for a blow job — you get a blow job.
Client Not enough —
Agrado You want more, find a rent-boy, you shirt-lifting cock-sucker …
Client head-butts Agrado; it gets violent, things smash. Manuela bangs on the door, yells
‘Agrado!’, enters. She is soberly dressed, holding a bag of food.
Client You owe me —
Agrado Fucking maniac!
Client laughs menacingly. Manuela grabs a bottle from the bag, thrashes it over Client’s
head. He groans and goes down. Shock, silence.
Agrado Checkmate, motherfucker.
Who the fuck are you?
Manuela Are you all right?
Agrado Oh my God, what if you’ve murdered him? Please tell me he’s alive …
Manuela I heard you / screaming
Agrado Help, woman, I have to get him out of here! Get up!
They lift Client to his feet. He groans.
Agrado This is the last time I service you, you schizophrenic faggot. Oh, stop
blubbering. It’s a scratch. (To Manuela) Did you really need to bottle him? (To Client)
Go and find Ursula under the bridge, she’ll put a plaster where it hurts. And don’t try
it on with any of my neighbours, this is a respectable building.
Client staggers out.
Manuela Agrado.
Agrado Manolita?
Manuela Hello.
Agrado My Manolita? No …
Client lurches back in with a roar. Agrado and Manuela scream but work as a team to
punch and push him out.
Agrado Shit, what a town! Every demon in hell wants lips on the end of his prick.
She looks at Manuela tearfully; they laugh, they hug, long and hard.
Agrado Where have you come from?
Manuela I had no idea if you still lived in Barcelona …
Agrado Let me look at you …
Manuela I’ve missed you, Agrado.
Agrado Like an angel.
Oh Manolita, Manolita …
They hug again.
Agrado Eighteen years …
Manuela Let’s fix you up.
Agrado Not a single word …
Manuela finds a cloth, etc.
Agrado … no fucking letters.
Manuela Keep still …
All About My Mother
based on the film by Pedro Almodóvar
a play by Samuel Adamson
15
10. A Nun, wearing a simple headscarf, but otherwise in civilian clothing. Agrado,
dressed as she would normally dress. Manuela, wearing the tarty dress.
Nun Wait here, I’ll find her for you.
Agrado Thank you, sister.
Manuela This isn’t quite what I was expecting …
Agrado They’ve devoted their lives to rehabilitating clapped-out tranny whores.
Manuela Is that us?
Agrado Of course not, we’re down, but not that down. Still, you never know, they might
have the perfect job.
Manuela How did you find them?
Agrado I met Sister Rosa on the streets. Your filthy mind: she gives out condoms and
needles. So dangerous … it’s an apocalypse of plastic tits on my patch, but it’s water
off a duck’s back to her. Everyone falls in love with Rosa.
Manolita, you look just like a hooker. I feel so proud.
Enter Sister Rosa, 26.
Sister Rosa Hello, Agrado!
Agrado Good morning, sister.
Sister Rosa Oh, dear: your face!
Agrado I took a little hammering.
Sister Rosa You poor thing!
Agrado All in a night’s work. Anyway, this is what I want to talk to you about. You
don’t mind?
Sister Rosa No, it’s so lovely to see you.
Agrado We want out of the game. Isn’t that right, Manolita? We’ve had it with the
streets. This is my oldest friend — and colleague — Manuela.
Manuela Hello.
Sister Rosa Hello. Rosa.
Agrado So we need some new kind of work. Cleaning. Whatever.
Sister Rosa I see …
Agrado We want to eat, so it’s got to pay.
Sister Rosa Agrado, you know we don’t have paid jobs at the refuge! I could find you
volunteer work … it would depend on your skills. (Artless) What can you do,
Manuela, besides sell your body?
Manuela I’ve … worked as a cook.
Sister Rosa Oh … we don’t need cooks. We have a new programme for picking up
litter!
Agrado You mean we’d be volunteer dustbinwomen?
Sister Rosa Or you could make knickknacks for our stall at the flea-market … that
would keep you off the streets!
Agrado Not for long it, wouldn’t.
Sister Rosa I’m sorry, Agrado!
11. A painting — Picasso, ideally, or Chagall. Manuela, Sister Rosa and Sister Rosa’s
Mother, 50-60. Mother is wearing a paint-splattered smock.
Sister Rosa Picasso.
Manuela Yes. I see that.
Sister Rosa A forgery.
Manuela Oh.
Sister Rosa Mama’s a forger!
Mother Rosa. That’s incorrect.
Manuela It’s … incredible.
Sister Rosa I hope you weren’t busy, Mama?
Mother You’re always welcome, Rosa, you know that. It’s just that you never come. At
least not by yourself.
Sister Rosa Mama … Manuela is a wonderful cook!
Mother has no idea how to respond.
12. Manuela, on the street, mortified by her ordeal. Off, Sister Rosa’s plaintive cry:
Sister Rosa’s Voice Manuela?
Manuela can’t face her. Traffic, and she thinks she sees Esteban:
Manuela Esteban.
13. And she is watching A Streetcar Named Desire. The seat next to her is empty.
14. Applause, curtain call: Huma, Nina and all Streetcar Actors on the on-stage side of
the curtain, with their backs to the All About My Mother audience, bowing to the
Streetcar audience. The All About My Mother audience sees rigging, ropes, fire exits —
the real theatre and the real All About My Mother theatre crew. Curtain down. As the
curtain hits the floor, Huma turns to Nina and reprimands at her, though over the
applause it’s hard to make out what she’s saying:
Huma In God’s name what the hell were you thinking?! Smile!
The curtain comes up again. Bow. The applause crescendos. Curtain down. The line of
Actors doesn’t break as it might because everyone’s indignant, silent attention is on Nina.
Huma Nina.
Nina What, Huma?
Huma How could you?
Nina What?
Huma That was a terrible thing to do.
Nina Oh, for fuck’s sake — no one died.
Huma Your character is heavily pregnant in scene seven. When you do something as
stupid as not wear the padding/false stomach … you’re vandalising the play and
insulting the entire company.
Huma Who?
You’re not meant to be in here — where did you come from? Where’s Nina?
Manuela She just left …
Huma What?!
She rushes out into the empty theatre. Her voice echoes.
Huma Nina! Alex?! Someone?!
Emptiness. She rushes back to the dressing room.
Huma Where did she go, did she say anything?
Manuela No … she seemed in a rush.
Huma (half screams, beside herself) We’ve only been here a week. How could she?
(Notices handbag) Oh, Jesus. Did you see her with this?
Manuela shakes her head. Huma looks through the handbag.
Huma Damn her! (Flings it away. Hand to face, tearfully distraught) And who the hell
let you in?
Manuela I saw the play tonight.
Huma You and six hundred others.
Manuela And the matinée …
Huma Oh, one of those.
Manuela No, I … I love Tennessee Williams.
Huma And this production?
Manuela (knows right answer) Magnificent.
Huma Even with a sabotaging Stella who randomly decides it’s a play without a baby?
(Lights a cigarette) Look, what do you want? — is it an autograph, what?
Manuela No.
Huma Then why are you here?
Manuela can’t answer that. She begins to take Esteban’s notebook from her handbag. But
Huma’s mind is suddenly elsewhere:
Huma Do you know Barcelona well?
Manuela Um … yes.
Huma Do you have a car?
All About My Mother
based on the film by Pedro Almodóvar
a play by Samuel Adamson
29
Manuela Why?
Huma Because I need a lift!
Manuela Where to?
Huma Junkies. Take me to the dealers, the junkies.
Manuela I think you can manage that on your own …
Huma I can’t, I can’t drive.
Manuela I’m not going to help you score, Señora Rojo.
Huma Oh, for God’s sake, it’s not for me — it’s where I’ll find her.
Heroin. Please don’t tell anyone. Do you know where she’d go at this hour?
Manuela No … but it’s not hard to find out.
Huma You mean you could?
A moment.
Manuela Yes.
Huma finds her magnificent cape, puts it on. Manuela helps.
Huma We’ll stop at a bank, I’ll pay you for your time …
Manuela You don’t need to …
Huma Yes I do: this junkie stuff, it’s so foreign to me: you, you translate.
In her cape, she looks as she did in Madrid. Manuela stares.
Huma What?
Manuela Nothing.
Huma I look horrendous, I know.
Manuela You look beautiful.
Huma Where have you been all my life? Thank you, whoever you are.
Manuela Manuela.
Huma Huma.
Manuela I know.
Huma strides out of the dressing room, Manuela follows.
Huma Goddamn the girl …
Manuela We’ll find her.
All About My Mother
based on the film by Pedro Almodóvar
a play by Samuel Adamson
30
They walk on to the stripped-back stage. Manuela is overwhelmed by the hugeness of the
theatre, looks up into the Gods.
[Manuela I will go with you.
Unwittingly, she has used some words of Stella’s.] Huma shouts into the Gods:
Huma Good night, Pablo!
The working lights are switched off with an echoic click.
Huma Hurry … please … before some lunatic pusher cuts her to bits.
The fire exit door closes behind them.
16. Doorbell rings incessantly. A framed photo of Esteban watches over Manuela,
sleeping on the sofa in her living-room. She wakes confusedly.
Manuela All right, all right … (answers door)
Sister Rosa Manuela, you’re home!
Manuela Rosa.
Manuela Rosa, stop it, it’s not going to happen. Why do you need to move — they look
after you at the refuge, don’t they?
Sister Rosa Yes, but I’ve told them I’m going to El Salvador. I’m not.
I’m pregnant.
Manuela is shocked. Sister Rosa nods.
Manuela Rosa …
She takes Rosa’s hand. A moment.
Sister Rosa I’ve just thought … I could have it here, and there’d be much less scandal.
Manuela What are you talking about? We hardly know each other!
Sister Rosa I feel as if we do …
Manuela Can’t the father help you?
Sister Rosa God knows where he is …
Manuela But you know who he is?
Sister Rosa Of course, what do you take me for?
Manuela Oh, forgive me, it’s just, you know, I don’t often meet pregnant nuns —
Sister Rosa It’s Lola.
Manuela doesn’t take it in.
Sister Rosa The father is Lola.
Manuela is on her feet, beside herself, lost for words.
Manuela Lola? Lola?! That … that … piece of fucking shit —
Sister Rosa Manuela?
Manuela Lola??
Sister Rosa What’s the / matter
Manuela The matter?!
Sister Rosa I’m a bit worried.
Manuela I’m not fucking surprised!
Sister Rosa I bled a little this morning.
Manuela How far gone are you?
Sister Rosa About three months.
Manuela Then you’ve got to go to the doctor straight away!
All About My Mother
based on the film by Pedro Almodóvar
a play by Samuel Adamson
34
Sister Rosa looks at her; Manuela continues to stare out at the sea. Eventually:
I was so young when I got married. I thought it would be OK … then my husband
decided he’d rather be in Paris. I waited for him to come home … out of the blue, I got
a call, ‘It’s all happening in Barcelona, Manuela, I’m selling paella from a shack on
the beach, come to Spain, come!’ So I did. He was the same … there were tits on his
chest, but otherwise the same … so I ended up resigning myself to our life. Women do
that. Because we’re fucking idiots. (Points) It was down there. It’s changed now; it
was incredible back then. Except while I gutted the fish and dealt with the customers,
he squeezed himself into a skimpy bikini and shagged everything that moved. Of
course if wifey showed any leg he went berserk. Tits and balls, a deadly combination.
Don’t ask me to do this, Rosa … you can’t stay with me … God, I can’t stand this
hospital …
Sister Rosa But you were a nurse.
Manuela That’s why! — I’ve got to / go
Sister Rosa Manuela —
Manuela Listen: in Madrid I was a coordinator for the NTO. Transplants. I had
exclusive access to donors’ files. I would … run my finger down lists and find
matches for kidneys, livers … bodiless bits of / life
Sister Rosa If it was your / job
Manuela I went through the files illegally.
Sister Rosa What?
Manuela Because I could. I broke every rule in the fucking book. I found the man who
took my son’s heart, Rosa. Esteban’s. I scrawled down his / details
Sister Rosa Manuela —
Manuela No, shut up … it was madness, the stupidest thing I’ve done, but I couldn’t
help it. I found this man — Miguel — and I stalked him. I saw him the day he was
discharged. He’s half-way through his life; my son had lived less than a quarter of his.
His mother was with him, and wife and kids … they were joking about how he could
eat cheeseburgers again … he had all those things, all that love — and he had my
Esteban’s heart. Esteban’s blood was in his veins. I’m not fit for this; nothing means
anything anymore. I lost my heart, Rosa, I don’t have one. It went the day Esteban lost
his.
Sister Rosa remains silent as Manuela cries. And then she can’t control her anger:
Manuela You’ve no right to ask me to be your mother. You’ve already got one, even if
you hate her. We can’t choose our parents, they are who they are.
Enter a Nurse, with notes.
Nurse María Rosa Sans?
Sister Rosa Yes?
Nurse We can do your test. This way.
Sister Rosa You mean now?
Nurse Follow me, please.
Sister Rosa Manuela …
Manuela No, Rosa. You’ll be all right.
18. Huma, nearly ready as Blanche, opens the door of her dressing room to Manuela.
Huma Manuela.
She smiles, holds out her hand; they shake.
Manuela Hello.
Huma Come in. I had a feeling you’d say yes.
Manuela Actually, I was going to say no till I rang you.
Huma What changed your mind?
A moment.
Manuela I need the money.
Huma Good. You’re honest. I like that.
Enter Alex, with mail.
Alex Mail, Señora Rojo.
Huma Thank you, Alex. This is Manuela.
Alex mutters a ‘hi’ then leaves.
Huma Come in …
Manuela The truth is … I’m not that honest. You asked me to bring references. I don’t
have any. I know I shouldn’t be stating terms, but … I can’t talk about my life. If that
means you don’t trust me, don’t let me start.
Huma You found Nina in what to me looked like hell. I trust you.
(Hands her a dairy) My diary. Perpetual chaos. Here, it’s bits and pieces: messages,
picking up dry-cleaning, that kind of thing. And I like coffee an hour before the
performance, if that’s not too menial.
Manuela Of course not …
Huma Mostly, I need you to be … a confidante. Someone to talk to … about anything.
That’s what I’m really paying you for, Manuela: to listen.
Manuela Understood.
Huma smiles. Enter Nina, in (non-pregnant) costume as Stella.
Huma Darling, you remember Manuela? She found you with your dope-pushing
smackhead friends just after you pilfered all my money.
Nina Hilarious, Huma. What are you doing here?
Huma Don’t play dumb, I told you before. She’s decided to start immediately.
Manuela Hello, Nina.
Nina (mimics) Hello, Nina.
Huma For once, Nina, you’re not loaded, and I’m doing something for myself. Sorry if
those things are annoying.
Goes to bathroom. Nina smokes, challenges Manuela with a stare and pose.
Manuela It’s been a long tour. Is it hard to keep it fresh?
Where do you come from, Nina? Do you have family?
Nina You steer clear of me, bitch.
She produces a small bottle of vodka, swigs. Puts it away as Huma comes out of the
bathroom.
Nina Are you fucking her?
Huma Nina! (To Manuela) I’m sorry.
Nina I’d watch myself if I were you, she’s always looking for fresh muff.
Walks out.
Huma It’s not true.
Manuela She’ll always hate me.
Huma Nina hates everyone. (At dressing-table, puts on last of Blanche)
No one understands. I hear them all the time: ‘What does she see in her?’
Sometimes she crushes me, and I feel old. Then she’ll say something so winning I
could take off. I love her. It’s that simple, Manuela. (Lights cigarette, offers)
Manuela No, thanks.
Huma When I was fifteen I saw Bette Davis smoking like that (the poster) and fell
madly in love — with her and the fag. (Makes to leave)
Manuela Do you need anything? Dinner?
Huma Cod — with salad. The restaurant on the corner, they know me.
Manuela Done.
A very loud doorbell. Huma turns back to Manuela. On the Streetcar stage, reveal Isabel
as Eunice, Nina as Stella and Mario as Stanley; and an Actress as Matron and an Actor
as Doctor; with, if possible, Actors as Poker Players.
Isabel That must be them.
Huma I don’t suppose you’d be able to get some kind of sedative for her? Just to take
the edge off?
Manuela I’ve got Lexotan.
Huma Perfect. Who knows, you might even become friends.
Doorbell.
Huma I’m delighted, Manuela. Thank you.
She smiles, walks out of the dressing room, stubs out cigarette, steps on stage:
19.
And Manuela is now watching Streetcar from a new, backstage, perspective:
Blanche: How do I look?
Stella: Lovely, Blanche.
Eunice: (echoing) Lovely.
Stella: I will go with you.
They walk through the poker players, who stand awkwardly at the table.
[Blanche: Please don’t get up. I’m only passing through.]
Actor as Doctor: How do you do?
20. Manuela, new hair and clothes, on the phone, in the dressing room. It feels spruced-
up. Enter Alex. Manuela puts the phone behind her back.
Alex You’ve found her? You haven’t found her?
Manuela Hello again, Alex. You haven’t given us the new kettle I asked for last / week
Alex Manuela, this isn’t the / time for
Manuela Everything’s fine.
Alex Then where is she? (Into headset) I don’t know! (To Manuela) Fix this. Find her.
Exits. Manuela resumes with the phone.
Manuela Hello — ?
No one there. She hangs up in frustration, presses redial. Re-enter Alex.
Alex She was with some guy yesterday in the bar — perhaps she’s with him?
Manuela I’m dealing with it. And don’t tell Huma that!
Alex sighs, leaves.
Manuela Fuck. Answer, for God’s sake …
Enter Huma, in Streetcar costume or a dressing gown.
Huma Well?
Manuela She’s not in the alley?
Huma (shakes head) Stage door are next to useless. I’ve searched everywhere.
Manuela When did you last see her?
Huma At home this morning — I’ve been filming all day. The car-park!
Manuela In your costume/dressing gown?
Huma puts on an enormous pair of dark glasses, sweeps off, bumps into Alex.
Alex Huma —
Huma Out of my way, Alex.
Alex We’re down to the wire.
Huma I’m aware of that.
Leaves. Alex stares at Manuela.
Manuela She just rang.
Alex Don’t lie.
Manuela She’s on her way. Five minutes.
Alex leaves. Manuela screams, picks up phone again.
Manuela Please, Nina … answer …
All About My Mother
based on the film by Pedro Almodóvar
a play by Samuel Adamson
42
Huma And why do you keep bringing the curtain down so early, we could have taken at
least one more bow last night!
Alex Mario said she’s here. She’s ready to go, right? (Looks around)
Manuela Everything’s all right, Huma. (Gives her a meaningful look)
Alex She needs to get into costume.
Manuela She can’t.
Alex Why?
Manuela Food poisoning.
Huma Is she all right?
Manuela It’s not serious. That restaurant you go to. The cod.
Alex Manuela, we really don’t have time for this crap —
Manuela It isn’t crap: it’s gastro-enteritis.
Alex Did she call the doctor?
Manuela Of course. He told her to drink fluids and stay in bed but she decided to give it
her best shot, which was committed of her, don’t you think? Now she’s paying for it.
Alex And where does this leave tonight?
Huma Why won’t the producers employ understudies? Bloody cheapskates!
Manuela I’d like to speak to Huma. Give us a moment?
Huma Get out, Alex, and if you come in uninvited again I’ll have you fired.
Alex leaves.
Huma What?
Manuela Please don’t be upset, Huma.
Huma What?
Isabel, trying to stop Nina at the bathroom door.
Isabel Nina …
Huma Nina? Oh, God … my darling.
Nina (collapses into her arms) Huma …
Manuela helps guide her to a chair.
Huma You’re safe here. You’re safe now, my sweet girl. (Caresses her) Sshhh …
ssshh…
Manuela You mustn’t worry. (Sees to Nina’s wound)
Huma What happened?
Isabel Um, she’s off her face.
Manuela It’s a graze, isn’t it, Nina? She just needs to sleep it off.
Huma Silly, silly girl. What are we going to do?
Isabel Mario saw her.
Huma She’s on such thin ice.
A moment.
Manuela I could help.
I could play Stella.
Huma What?
Manuela I know it. I’ve listened to it for two weeks. I think it’s gone in.
Alex (outside door, knocks) Huma?
Huma You?
Alex Are we opening the house?!
Manuela I think I could manage it … if you wanted.
Huma Can you act?
Manuela Well, I’m quite a good liar. And I know how to improvise. My son used to say
I was a very good actress.
Huma Your son?
Alex We’re all waiting! Huma! Is she or isn’t she?
Manuela and Huma regard each other.
Manuela Only if it would help, Huma. It’s up to you.
A moment. Huma opens the door.
Huma Delay the curtain by half an hour.
Alex But —
Huma Do it! (Closes it. To Manuela) Have you got any friends you want to come in?
Manuela laughs.
Huma It’s really not funny.
Manuela It’s really not.
Huma You’re sure you know it?
Manuela (sorry to say that she does) Yes.
Huma Put her in her dressing room, Isabel. I’ll sort things out with Alex.
Manuela (at door, looks out) All clear.
Isabel Come on, Nina …
Leaves with Nina.
Huma Use my make-up …
Try to upstage me, my darling, and I will eat you for supper.
Leaves after Isabel and Nina. Manuela is on her own. She puffs at her face. She begins to
de-Manuela by arranging her hair as Stella. She mumbles her way through a line.
Manuela ‘She married a boy who wrote poetry … I think Blanche didn’t just love him,
but worshipped the ground he walked on!’
During this, backstage comes to silent, industrious life. Crew ready props and furniture.
Streetcar walls and scrims descend. Enter Sister Rosa through the fire exit door in the
back wall. She has a small handbag. Though out of place, she is inconspicuous in the
activity. She traverses the landscape as Manuela did. Alex comes into the dressing room.
Alex Everyone thinks I hate her. I just want her to not get shit-faced and do her job.
You can’t be serious about this?
Manuela I just want to help, Alex.
A moment.
Alex I’ll cue every entrance. Don’t take your eyes off me.
Manuela nods. Alex leaves, crashing into Sister Rosa in the corridor. Manuela continues:
Manuela ‘But then she found out this talented and beautiful —’ Beautiful and talented
— ‘young man was a degenerate —’
Sister Rosa knocks. Alex charges back in:
Alex So you know, Huma will lose her rag if you go anti-clockwise round that fucking /
table
Manuela Rosa?
Sister Rosa Hello, Manuela.
Manuela What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be out.
Alex Señorita, this way …
Sister Rosa shakes her head.
Manuela Give us a second, Alex? My costumes?
Alex I don’t even know your surname.
Manuela Echevarría.
Exit Alex.
Manuela Rosa … I can’t talk now … I’m sorry … shouldn’t you be in bed? You
shouldn’t have come here.
Sister Rosa You don’t remember. (Produces an envelope) My appointment.
She hands Manuela the envelope. Manuela opens it, reads. After what seems like an
eternity, she looks to Sister Rosa.
Sister Rosa I’m HIV positive.
Manuela (screws paper up) We’ll do another test.
Sister Rosa There’s no need.
Manuela What the fucking hell were you thinking when you screwed Lola? She’s been
shooting up for fifteen years — you knew that! What world are you living in, Rosa?
Sister Rosa cries. Manuela’s eyes are ablaze with anger.
Sister Rosa I don’t know.
Manuela What world?!
An announcement is suddenly broadcast in the theatre:
Announcement Ladies and gentlemen. This evening’s performance of A Streetcar
Named Desire will be delayed by thirty minutes. Due to the indisposition of Nina
Cruz, the role of Stella Kowalski will be played Manuela Echevarría.
Sister Rosa Manuela?
Manuela Don’t ask.
She doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Sister Rosa cries.
Manuela Rosa …
They hug.
Manuela Have you told your mother?
Sister Rosa No.
Manuela The other nuns?
Sister Rosa shakes her head.
Manuela You can move in with me. You can move in with me.
Sister Rosa breaks down in gratitude. They hug and cry.
Manuela I just have to do this one thing, Rosa. Wait for me — I’ll ring Agrado, she’ll
come and be with you this evening — but don’t tell her anything. OK?
Sister Rosa nods.
Manuela Stay and watch … and then I’ll take you home. It will be all right, Rosa.
Listen: I will never leave you. I swear to you.
Enter Alex, with Nina’s costumes.
Alex Twenty-five minutes, Señora Echevarría. And frankly they’re a fucking tough
crowd.
Sister Rosa looks to Manuela questioningly. Overwhelmed by the sheer madness and
tragedy of it all, the women burst into laughter, their hands to their tear-stained cheeks.
21. Manuela steps into a bare space, takes off her dress. Huma and Isabel help her on
with the Stella dress with its pregnancy stomach. Manuela breathes heavily. Alex hands
her a birthday cake ablaze with lighted candles. Then she is alone.
Manuela Blanche? Blanche?
22.
Manuela as Stella: Blanche?
A newfound electricity energizes all the Streetcar performances.
Blanche: Oh, those pretty, pretty little candles! You ought to save them for baby’s
birthdays. Oh, I hope candles are going to glow in his life and I hope that his eyes
are going to be like candles, like two blue candles lighted in a white cake!
Stanley: Sister Blanche, I’ve got a little birthday remembrance for you.
Blanche: Oh, have you, Stanley? I wasn’t expecting any, I — I don’t know why
Stella wants to observe my birthday! When you — reach twenty-seven! Well —
age is a subject that you’d prefer to — ignore! What is it? Why, why — Why, it’s
a—
Stanley: Ticket! On the Greyhound! Tuesday!
23. The entire Company —and the All About My Mother Crew — emerge from places all
around the theatre to watch Manuela. Agrado and Sister Rosa are audience, as Esteban
and Manuela were once before. And Esteban is somewhere. Manuela plays with more
raw emotion than Nina.
Stella: You didn’t need to do that. You needn’t have been so cruel.
Stanley: Delicate piece she is.
Stella: She is. She was. You didn’t know Blanche as a girl. Nobody was tender and
trusting as she was. But people like you abused her, and forced her to change.
Why did you do this to her?
Stanley: I done nothing to no one. Let go of my shirt. You’ve torn it.
Stella: I want to know why.
Stanley: When we first met, you thought I was common … and how you loved it …!
Wasn’t we happy together? Wasn’t it all okay? Till she showed here?
Manuela-Stella feels the child inside of her, and it provokes grief.
Stanley: Hoity-toity, describing me as an ape.
The pregnant Manuela-Stella is sobbing. Her body gives way; she is on the ground.
Stanley: Hey, what is it, Stell?
Mario is alarmed by the rawness of what he thinks is a performance from Manuela.
Softly:
Mario Manuela …?
Esteban Mama …
Manuela (chokes on her grief) My son …
Manuela-Stella is sobbing uncontrollably. Mario-Stanley picks her up and takes her off
stage.
24. And, backstage, people rush to Manuela. Onstage, Esteban approaches the blazing
candles on the cake. He blows them out, washing house light over the All About My
Mother audience.
ACT TWO
1. Spotlight on Esteban, with the microphone.
Esteban Spanish translates it as Eva Laid Bare, but the title is All About Eve. In the
movie, Eve Harrington, played by Anne Baxter, waits at the stage door of the theatre
where Bette Davis is acting in a play. Someone lets Eve in … but what no one realises
is that she’s a pushy actress: the second she enters the dressing room, she’s destined to
become a star and wipe the floor with Bette Davis. At first, I saw Mama like that …
but then I thought about her reading to me … or stroking a patient’s hand … or just
waiting for someone who’s running late. Mama isn’t ambitious. In my story, my
character is drawn into the dressing room of the famous Spanish actress Huma Rojo —
but unlike Eve she makes herself crucial to the people she meets.
I’m shaking things up a bit, making them my own. (Puts microphone down, retreats
from spotlight)
Alex Evening, all. Oh, hello, Nina. Still got salmonella? There’s mail for you, Manuela.
Gives it to her, leaves.
Nina Fan mail?! Bloody fan mail?!
Manuela I’ll come back later …
Nina Don’t go: there are casting directors in tonight. We can see through you.
Manuela Stop it, Nina.
Nina Fuck off.
Huma Nina, that’s enough.
Nina The Tannoy? You expect us to believe that? You learnt it deliberately!
Manuela No. The Tannoy helped me … but I already knew it.
I’ve known the part of Stella for years.
Nina Really? — how convenient! So you didn’t just stroll into Huma’s dressing room
one night for absolutely no reason?
Manuela There was a reason.
Nina I knew it!
Manuela I have to go —
Nina Who are you, Miss Echevarría?
Huma Manuela …
Nina What do you want?
Manuela Let me get my things …
Nina Fuck you, fuck off, what the fuck is your game?
A moment.
Huma Manuela. I think you owe us an explanation.
Nina and Huma watch her. Yet again Manuela tries to leave; Nina blocks the way. She is
cornered. She can hardly find the words.
Manuela A Streetcar Named Desire … has marked my life.
Twenty years ago … I was in an amateur company. I played Stella. It’s where I met
my husband … he played Stanley. Two months ago I saw you when you were in
Madrid. I took my son … it was his birthday. We waited for you outside the theatre
because he wanted your autograph … it was pouring with rain but he’d got it into his
head … he wouldn’t move …
Esteban Señora Rojo?!
Manuela It was stupid … we were soaked … but it was his birthday … I couldn’t … I
couldn’t … (Takes photo from her handbag) Here he is.
Esteban Wait, Señora Rojo!
Huma doesn’t dare touch the photograph, stares, gasps involuntarily.
Manuela My son, Esteban. (To Nina, chokes on grief) You walked off …
Esteban Señora Rojo!
Manuela … disappeared into the rain. He ran across the street without … a car ploughed
into him … He was on the road … I think of him, and I see him there … I don’t
remember anything except … my hands in his blood … and that he’d chased you,
Huma.
So here I am.
Your explanation.
Leaves. Huma stares after her. Ever the professional, she begins to put on Blanche.
Nina Huma?
Huma I remember that boy’s face perfectly. He was holding a book …
Nina I don’t remember.
Huma?
Huma You were in a vile mood. You rushed out of the stage door … I ran after you, as I
always do.
Then I heard something … it hit me here (the gut) … but I didn’t go back.
I ignored that boy.
A moment.
Nina I never wanted this.
Huma What?
Nina To be an actor. It’s not me. I’m no good at it.
Huma Ssshhhh. Sit next to me.
Nina Huma …
Huma Please.
Nina cries. Huma lets it happen.
Huma Put your make-up on. It won’t do it by itself.
There’s my girl.
Manuela Oh, Huma, just do it. The lot of you … I’m sealing it with a drink! Sweet
Jesus: I haven’t had a drink for months. This is my flat: look at you all! I’m getting
some bubbly and I want you to pour it down my fucking throat!
She laughs, releasing something. The others stare at her. She exits to the kitchen.
Agrado Who died and made her the Queen of Bitches?
Sister Rosa She just wants to dump you on Huma …
Agrado I might not want to be dumped on Huma.
Huma Huma might not want to be dumped on.
Sister Rosa She gives good value. They don’t call her ‘pleasure’ for nothing.
Agrado D’you mind? (To Huma) It’s true. I’ve devoted my life to pleasing people.
Huma But ‘Agrado’ isn’t your real name?
Agrado No, a stage name — like ‘Huma’.
Huma Touché.
Manuela enters with a bottle and glasses.
Manuela Who’s going and who’s staying?
A moment.
Huma Allow me.
She takes the bottle from Manuela, pops the cork; Sister Rosa claps.
Manuela Not for you.
Sister Rosa My ice-cream!
She rushes out to get it, singing; Huma pours.
Sister Rosa Without your love, it’s a honky-tonk parade!
Without your love,
It’s a melody played
In a penny arcade!
Huma Stunning girl, but she knows how to kill a tune. I really can’t stay.
Manuela I know. Your matinée. One drink.
Sister Rosa returns with her ice-cream, finishes her song, curtseys.
Sister Rosa Ice-cream, Agrado?
Agrado You have it, you’re thin as a rake. (Suspicions mounting) Why can’t you drink?
Manuela Cheers!
Huma Cheers!
Agrado Manuela-Stella!
All Manuela-Stella!
Sister Rosa Oh, Huma, I adored you, you were more Blanche than Blanche —
Agrado And you look so gorgeous in everything … that red-wine dress!
Huma It’s a problem, actually … everything suits me.
Agrado Ditto.
Sister Rosa I think nuns should wear clothes like Blanche DuBois.
Agrado So you are still a nun?
Manuela (to Huma, re. Agrado) Try her for one day —
Agrado Stop changing the subject!
Sister Rosa Actually, I think nuns should wear Prada.
Huma’s phone rings. She looks at caller ID.
Huma Excuse me.
Manuela Of course. Make yourself at home.
Huma removes herself. Sister Rosa giggles, picks up glass.
Sister Rosa Did you see how quickly she said yes to a drink! Mother’s milk!
Manuela Sshh —
Sister Rosa I bet that’s her other half, wondering where she’s got to.
Manuela Calm down …
Sister Rosa Nina, the old ball and chain!
Manuela Stop it / now
Agrado Both of you stop it!
Manuela What?
Sister Rosa What?
Agrado It’s revolting how success has gone to your head. Acting like an actress, treating
me like one of the herd. Something is up. Never forget who it was who brought you
two together.
Agrado Really?
Huma According to Manuela.
Agrado Well, if Manuela says so.
Huma I think the three of you are full of shit.
Agrado You just have to get to know us.
Is everything all right at home?
Huma nods, smiles. Agrado makes to top up their glasses. Huma shakes her head.
Huma I shouldn’t have started. I like to go on stage sober.
Agrado Birds of a feather, Huma: so do I.
[Huma I’m gagging for a cigarette.
Agrado offers her one. They light up, Agrado lighting her cigarette from Huma’s.]
Esteban sits next to Huma.
Huma So, Agrado.
Agrado Yes, goddess?
Huma Can you sew?
Agrado Naturally. I am my own couturier.
Huma Can you drive?
Agrado I used to be a lorry-driver.
Huma Is that so?
Agrado In Paris, before the tits.
Huma I see.
Oh, I nearly forgot. (Takes an envelope from her handbag, addresses Esteban directly)
This is for you.
Esteban takes it.
Huma Can you make good coffee?
Agrado Caffeine’s been my only drug for twenty years.
Huma After Streetcar, depending on Nina, I might take Blood Wedding. Will you tour
with us?
Agrado Lorca is in your blood, touring is in mine. My God, Huma, I’m done in, it’s the
most gruelling interview of my career.
All About My Mother
based on the film by Pedro Almodóvar
a play by Samuel Adamson
62
5. Esteban puts a blanket over Sister Rosa, makes the sofa up as a bed for her.
Sister Rosa When I was little my favourite place in the whole of Barcelona was
Medinaceli Square. My father used to take me there to play. I felt safe. We’d stand on
opposite sides of the fountain with the nymphs and shout to each other; we had a
special game. But one day Papa just forgot how to play it, and now it’s strange, but
I’ve forgotten it too.
Esteban On Rosa’s face.
Sister Rosa Rosa’s nose!
Esteban On Rosa’s feet.
Sister Rosa Rosa’s toes!
Esteban Then what happened? Rosa knows.
Sister Rosa (corrects) No, no, no, it was ‘Then what happened, do you suppose?’
Esteban Then what happened, do you suppose?
Sister Rosa Rosa’s toes became her nose.
Esteban And Rosa’s nose?
Sister Rosa It’s now her toes!
7. Nina, in the (semi-dark) dressing room, wearing bra and knickers, taking a heroin fix,
i.e. ‘chasing the dragon’ by heating a dose inside a strip of tin-foil and inhaling the
fumes. Enter Agrado via the just-coming-to-life backstage area with a bouquet of roses.
She is wearing her Chanel. She unlocks the dressing room door, enters, switches on light.
Agrado Nina, you scared the life — ! You can’t do that here!
Nina What are you all dressed up for?
Agrado You’re on in an hour, Huma will be here / any second!
Nina Where’s she been today?
Agrado Out.
Nina I’ve been waiting, it’s boring.
Nina starts to prepare again.
Agrado You think I’m joking? Give that to me.
Nina No. No! (Becomes overwrought) We all have our thing, you know …
Agrado All right —
Nina I have to … I want to … you don’t understand …
Agrado It’s no better up in your bubble of nothing than down here with the rest of us,
Nina … but I’ll never convince you of that.
Nina Huma should have been with me today. What’s she up to?
Agrado (with Streetcar dress) Put a dress on, Stella, and then we can talk.
Nina Show me your dick.
Agrado Let’s not add my genitals to your problems.
Nina I might like it.
Agrado You can’t do that shit in here.
Nina Fine, then I’ll do it in my dressing room. Tell Huma.
All About My Mother
based on the film by Pedro Almodóvar
a play by Samuel Adamson
68
8. Spotlight on the microphone. Nothing happens. Then Agrado, in her Chanel, steps into
the light, taps the microphone, peers out nervously.
Agrado One, two, two. Two.
Ladies and gentlemen, could I have your attention please? Good evening. I’m very
sorry … but something’s gone wrong. I could say it’s a technical hitch, but that would
be a lie: it’s human, like most hitches. Suffice to say that owing to circumstances
beyond the management’s control, we have to cancel. House lights, please.
Nothing happens.
Agrado Pablo?
Pablo, black me out.
The spotlight remains.
Agrado Please.
(Is very upset. Tries again) Ladies and gentlemen … my friend Huma Rojo, who
performs so brilliantly on this stage every night, can’t be here … someone she loves
isn’t well … A Streetcar Named Desire has been cancelled …
There’s an usher. See if you can prise a …
Pablo … please …
I don’t want it …
Stop. Stop. Stop.
Deadly silence. A breakdown, as if the actor playing Agrado in All About My Mother
had had enough. And then Esteban steps into the spotlight, with his own microphone.
Agrado stares, amazed.
Esteban Five seconds of dead stage-time feels like an hour, you know: speak.
(Mimics her gently) Your name’s Agrado, and you’re very authentic and your eyes are
shaped like diamonds.
A moment.
Agrado You think so?
Esteban Perfect diamonds.
Agrado That was the intention.
Cher was the inspiration.
Esteban How much?
Agrado Eighty thousand pesetas. Bargain.
Esteban Is that a Chanel?
Agrado Nothing like it to make you feel respectable.
Esteban Is it real?
Agrado You really want to know?
Esteban They do.
Agrado Of course not.
Esteban How much was your nose?
Agrado I know you’re not interested …
Esteban One seven five?
Agrado Two hundred. Cash down the pan as a year later some scumbag decided to work
on it with his fists — now it’s bent to buggery. Mind you, it adds to my personality,
don’t you think — ?
She turns to Esteban, but he isn’t there. It throws her. She peers out to the audience. She
resumes, tentatively.
Agrado Still … if I’d known it was going to be mashed I wouldn’t have bothered having
it done.
My tits, however, were worth every penny: paid for themselves ten times over …
[Mario From Theatre Box How much was the silicone?
Agrado Premature interjection, honey, I was getting to that …] [Silicone is] a hundred
thousand a litre, and I have it everywhere, lips, brows, cheeks, hips and bum, so you
do the sums, I lost count years ago.
And that’s it really, ladies and gentlemen. Me. Every part made to measure. You see,
wasn’t that better than going back out to drag-queen hell? The lesson? It costs a packet
to be authentic. But you can’t be stingy, when it comes to your appearance.
Una es más auténtica cuando más se parece a lo que ha soñado de sí misma: you are
more authentic, the more you resemble the dream you have of yourself.
(Walks off stage and circles the stalls, ad libbing to audience members along these
lines, with, as a Spaniard, some cheeky allusion to the dominant nationality of the
play’s local audience) I thank you … Yes, señor, very authentic … No, no touching …
I’m retired, but see me at the end in the bar and I’ll sing you a filthy song … (Waves to
upper circle) Thanks to you too, cheap people! … Many thanks … So glad you stayed
… Heavens, you’re not still alive? … [English?] [Yes, I can smell the yeast. Ninety-
four per cent of my clients were alcoholics, ninety-three per cent came from
Sedgefield …] [Oh, the devastated football fan! I remember you! In 1994, Barcelona
thumped Manchester United 4-nil, and he was inconsolable, there was nothing I could
do, I sucked like a Hoover, but he just cried …] for you, darling, I’d come out of
retirement if you want me to finish you off. Thank you … thank you … many thanks,
my friends …
An Usher opens a door for her to leave the stalls.
Agrado And aren’t the ushers here delectable? I do approve. Good-night.
The house lights snap out as she leaves the stalls. End of scene.
9. Sister Rosa, in a hospital bed. She is heavily pregnant. There are things serene,
determined and forgiving about her.
Sister Rosa I want some water.
Manuela You can’t …
Sister Rosa One sip.
Manuela relents, helps her sip from a bottle of water.
Manuela I think your mother wants me to go.
Sister Rosa She doesn’t. She understands, I know it. (Looks at view) What a day.
Manuela. I want you to promise me something. If anything happens …
Manuela What’s going to happen?
Sister Rosa I can hardly pick up a pencil …
Manuela Rosa —
Sister Rosa No, it’s all right …
Manuela You’ll be OK.
Sister Rosa Manuela …
Manuela You’ll get stronger.
Sister Rosa Promise me you’ll never keep any secrets from him.
Manuela I don’t have to, Rosa, you can tell him / yourself
Sister Rosa Promise, promise.
Manuela All right. If it makes you happy.
Sister Rosa This child has to know everything. Promise.
Manuela I promise.
Enter Mother.
Mother You’ll be in theatre within the hour.
Sister Rosa Thank you, Mama.
Manuela is on one side of Sister Rosa’s bed, Mother the other.
Sister Rosa Look at the Barceloneta. Beautiful.
Mother Do you think?
Sister Rosa Yes!
Mother It was very different when you were little. We never came anywhere near it, but
I preferred it back then.
Sister Rosa I’d like to be down there, swimming.
Mother Soon.
Sister Rosa takes Mother’s hand. They are intimate as never before.
Sister Rosa How’s your work?
Mother Mine?
Sister Rosa Yes, aren’t I allowed to be interested?
Mother Oh … well … I’m sending the latest Chagall to a buyer in London.
Sister Rosa Good.
Mother Pity he doesn’t want my Picassos. I’d make a fortune. Not to be: the easiest to
copy and the hardest to sell.
One day I hope you’ll be able to sell them.
You’re not in pain?
Sister Rosa Not a bit.
Mother Pregnancy without the pain. You should write the manual.
Sister Rosa You don’t have to stay, Mama, if you don’t want to.
Mother Do you want me to go?
Sister Rosa No. But if you want to …
Mother Don’t be silly, of course I don’t want to. You’re mine.
A moment.
Sister Rosa I didn’t kiss Papa goodbye. Will you give him one from me?
Mother I’m keeping this one for myself.
She kisses her. Sister Rosa smiles.
Sister Rosa Mama.
Mother Yes.
Sister Rosa Mama.
Mother My child …
The actor playing Sister Rosa removes herself from All About My Mother. Bleep.
Mother My child.
Bleep.
Mother My child.
Bleeeep. Manuela and Mother are alone on either side of the empty bed. The sounds of
the hospital. Then silence.
Esteban I’m seventeen today, the exact age Capote was when he decided he was ready
to publish after a childhood perfecting his craft. There’s this competition in Alicante,
and once I’ve finished this new story, I’m going to enter …
The microphone cracks or whines, he taps it.
Esteban … the first steps towards my own preface and sharing everything I’m writing
here at this precise moment with strangers whose lives have been profoundly changed
by words I …
By which point the light is fiercely bright, the microphone has stopped working, and
Esteban is aware that he is no longer on his own. He turns. The figure has reached
Manuela. Esteban drops the arm holding the microphone to his side, stares.
Lola Manuela …
Manuela Don’t say anything.
Lola How is he …?
Manuela I said don’t.
I looked for you. I should have known I’d have to wait till someone died before we
met.
Rosa needed you, Lola.
Lola I had to go home to Argentina. I had to see it again.
You haven’t changed …
Manuela What is it? What makes you want to take the most beautiful thing in the world
and just …
Lola I went to our house.
Manuela Stop.
Lola I had to say goodbye.
I’m tired, Manuela. I’m dying.
Manuela No, you are death. (Stands, a change of heart) I shouldn’t have agreed to this,
go back to Agrado.
Lola I won’t give up till I’ve seen him.
Manuela (calls) Agrado! You’re too late.
Lola Let me.
Manuela You’re too / late
Lola Please.
Manuela (turns on her) You’re not a human being, Lola, you’re an epidemic!
Agrado approaches; the baby and Manuela are crying.
Manuela Ssshh … ssshhh …
Agrado Manolita …
Manuela It’s all right …
Lola I’m his father.
Manuela … it’s all right …
She is saying all this to Agrado as well as to the baby. Agrado tries to move Lola away.
Agrado This isn’t the time …
Lola Manuela …
Manuela You have no right!
She pulls herself together. A moment.
Manuela He isn’t your only son.
Lola What …?
Manuela When I left Barcelona, I was pregnant with your child.
A boy.
Lola You had him …?
Manuela He was beautiful, precious.
Lola Where is he?
Manuela You can’t see him.
Lola Manuela …
Manuela I won’t let you …
He died, eight months ago … a car …
That’s why I came back, Lola. (Takes Esteban’s notebook from her handbag, gives it
to her) Look at the last entry.
Retreats into the distance with baby. Agrado looks to Lola, then follows Manuela. Lola is
on her own: she has to sit. She opens the notebook as if it were alive.
Esteban I found this old photo of my mother last night. She’s standing in front of a
shack on some beach, and she’s wearing this massive straw hat, and she’s smiling like
she’s tripping. It’s like a portal into a time I wasn’t alive — but I’m not allowed
through, because the photo’s been ripped in half.
He sits on the bench next to her.
Esteban I’m starting to think that this is something like half a life. Then I get scared I’ll
always feel this way, which makes the idea of growing older seem pointless. So what
the fuck is that, a suicidal tendency? None of the stuff I pretend matters matters, not
the story about the actresses, nor the competition; I’d throw it all in if I could put the
photo back together, because then I could look into his eyes and I’d know if he’d have
been proud of me. I’m so disappointed with Mama. I saw her in that transplant
simulation, she was acting the truth for strangers, yet she pretends to me. I don’t want
to be angry with her, but I am. I’ve a right to know all about my father. She can’t deny
me my right.
Lola cries. Manuela returns with the baby. Agrado has gone.
Lola Manuela —
Manuela Sshh. You have to let me do this my way, or I’m leaving.
A moment. She sits next to Lola, then holds the baby. Lola takes him carefully.
Manuela He’s the spitting image of Rosa …
We go to the doctor every week … he’s been so often I think he looks forward to it.
Agrado says you went to the nuns.
Lola (nods) They told me about Rosa …
Manuela Do you think they knew she was HIV positive?
Lola No.
Manuela You have to promise me you won’t go anywhere near her mother.
Lola I never met her.
Manuela Keep it that way.
She doesn’t know you … and you’ve devastated her … she’s paranoid about
infection…
Sometimes I feel like kidnapping him and taking him to Madrid.
We’re just going to have to keep working at her, aren’t we, Esteban? Grandma Rosa’s
going to have to get used to us, hmn?
11. Agrado, in black, on the floor with the baby Esteban in a bouncy-chair/rocker, at
Sister Rosa’s Mother’s.
Agrado Stop growing. Stop it … too fast …!
How do I look? Personally, I can’t stand Death’s fetish for black. Some kitsch
wouldn’t have gone astray — your papa loved kitsch, especially at funerals, it was a
great quality of hers. One of many. Because whatever they say, Esteban, Lola wasn’t
all bad. True, no amount of surgical work was ever going to hide her vast thighs, but
she did have some good points. She was life itself when I first met her. My compadre
in tits! (Becomes tearful) I just want you to know that when he came back it was
because of you … he turned up on my doorstep looking like something the cat spat out
… I was so angry, he’d stolen my rings, wigs, all my trinkets … but he came back
because of you.
Enter Huma during the following, in black, with a plate of food.
Agrado So when they go dancing on his grave, you come and see your Auntie Agrado.
Your rich grandmother’s a very nice lady but she wouldn’t know a good time if it sat
on her face, so you know my number in times of family tension.
We can take mutually beneficial field trips to the park. And I have an idea for
matching tattoos. And when you’re old enough, if you want them, I’ll pay for your tits.
Perhaps Huma clears her throat.
Agrado Oops … Doña Huma the spinster.
Huma Corrupting the child?
Agrado That’s what aunts are for.
Huma Be careful what you say about Lola in front of Rosa’s mother.
Agrado Today was hard for me as well …
Huma I know, Agradito …
Agrado I loved her. Yes, she was a monster, but she was my monster. (Tears) All I’m
saying, Esteban, is that the send-off for a bitch like your papa should have been a bit
drug-fucked. It’s what she would have wanted.
Huma Ssshhh …
Enter Manuela and Isabel, both in black, with more food.
Manuela How is he?
Huma Adorable. More and more like his mama.
A chorus of oohing and ahing and chatter as they put the food down and gather round the
rocker:
Isabel Hello, lovely little man!
Manuela He’s got her eyes, hasn’t he …?
Huma She’d be so proud.
Agrado But he’s growing up too quickly!
Huma Is Grandmother joining us?
Manuela She needs a moment …
Huma It wasn’t easy for her today …
Agrado I can’t believe she asked us back!
Manuela Honestly, I think all she wanted was to make sure he was really gone.
Huma Agrado, no more tears …
Agrado I’m sorry, Manuela, it’s just that Lola and I would spend long hours in cheap
Paris restaurants planning the most extravagant funerals, and that one was a bit
monochrome.
Manuela I agree. (Kisses her)
Agrado Oh, do something, Esteban: please turn Papa’s funeral into a fiesta.
They look at the baby; he does something; peals of laughter.
Agrado Oh, Manolita, Manolita! Look at you!
Huma You’re a family.
Mother Yes.
She has appeared in a doorway. They turn to look at her.
Mother Why is nobody eating …?
Manuela Come in, Rosa.
Mother … we wouldn’t have invited you if we didn’t want you to eat.
They do, in silence. Agrado cries.
Agrado I’m sorry, señora. I have two real things in my life: silicone and feelings.
Mother Empanadas?
Agrado I couldn’t. (Taps her figure)
Isabel Is he hungry?
Mother He’s just fussing.
Huma Will you ever go back to work, Manuela?
Manuela One day.
Mother I hope not. Now I’ve got two new people to spend my money on …
She can though, of course, if that’s what she wants.
Manuela When Esteban’s older. Though as a nurse, not an actress.
Isabel Oh, don’t say that! Everyone in the Streetcar company thought you were miles
better than Nina —
She stops herself. A moment.
Mother Is something the matter?
Huma No.
Nina’s been knocked-up by some hick from her village, that’s all.
A moment. Agrado contains a giggle. To Mother, confidentially:
Agrado Her junkie ex-lover.
Mother Oh. Would anyone like wine?
Manuela Good idea.
Agrado (to Manuela, confidentially) The latest is they’re getting married.
Manuela Perhaps it’s for the best.
Huma Obviously I don’t think so … I think she’s thrown her life away.
Agrado The man is fat. Very fat. Ugly, inbred, spotty, very ugly … fat.
Manuela sings to baby Esteban. Isabel joins in. Mother pours the wine.
Isabel Is he well?
Manuela Pardon?
Isabel Will he always be … well?
A moment. Mother is doing her very best:
Mother It’s all right.
There’s no reason Esteban should become ill.
Good health, Huma.
Huma Manuela …
Mother Never mind, Lorca’s obviously only for actors, I’m sorry I asked.
Isabel We need lots of grandsons!
It’s a nervously delivered cue. They all look to her. Manuela looks to Huma.
Isabel We need lots of grandsons.
A moment.
Manuela Rosa wants it, Huma … and we’re in her house. It’s all right. I know it; I know
what’s coming.
Something about it taking a long time.
A moment.
Huma We need granddaughters, too.
Isabel I’d like it to happen in a day. For our children to have two or three strapping
men just like that.
Huma That’s not the way of it. It takes a long time. That’s why it’s unbearable to
see your child’s blood spilled on the ground. A spring that streams for a moment
though we’ve paid with years. When I got to my son, he was lying in the middle of
the street. I bathed my hands in his blood and licked it with my tongue. Because it
was mine. Because animals lick their young. You don’t know what that means. If
I could, I would put that earth, blushed with his blood, into a holy cup.
Be quiet. My son should answer. But my son is already an armful of dried
flowers. My son is already a dark voice beyond the mountains. Be quiet. No
weeping here. Your tears come from your eyes only; when mine come I’ll be
alone, and they’ll come from the soles of my feet, from my very roots, and they’ll
burn hotter than blood.
Five women in black, marooned within All About My Mother Actors, Crew and theatre.
End.