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The Manifestation of Internalized Sexism in the Pick Me

Girl Trend on TikTok

Ida Rosida
Meka Mona Ghazali
Dania Dedi
Fanya Shafa Salsabila

Alphabet / Volume 05 / Number 01 / April 2022, pp. 8-19

doi: 10.21776/ub.alphabet.2022.05.01.02, Published online: April 2022

Link to this article: click here

How to cite this article :

Rosida, I., et al. (2022). The manifestation of internalized sexism in the Pick Me
Girl trend on TikTok. Alphabet, 05(01), 8-19. doi: 10.21776/ub.alphabet
.2022.05.01.02

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 ©2018, by Study
The Manifestation of Internalized Program of English, Faculty of
Cultural Studies, Universitas
Sexism in the Pick Me Girl Trend on Brawijaya

TikTok ISSN: 2615-630x (print)

2615-6296 (online)
Vol. 05, No. 01

Ida Rosida 1
Meka Mona Ghazali 2
Dania Dedi 3
Fanya Shafa Salsabila 4

Abstract
Internalized sexism focuses on the forms of sexist behaviour and attitudes conducted by women toward
themselves and other women. This article discusses the internalized sexism on TikTok videos tagged
with “Pick Me Girl” or the hashtag #PickMeGirl. It can be defined as a social media phenomenon
dominated by women who always consider that they are the best in any kind of condition. As they are
feeling perfect, they easily hate, insult, and compete with other women. The method used is qualitative.
The data was collected by focusing on Pick Me Girl videos on TikTok and giving a critical
understanding of the languages the women used in the video. This study was working within the theo-
retical framework of misogyny by Kate Manne and the concept of internalized sexism. This study aims
to explore Pick Me Girl’s sexist behaviors and attitudes and investigate the relationship between women.
The results show that Pick Me Girl on TikTok presents the ideas of beauty standard which differ among
women, competition between women to get men’s attention, women’s self-objectification, and
humiliation toward other women. Although the competition eventually destroys the other women, this
characteristic offers pleasure to Pick Me Girl women. Internalized misogyny subsequently leads women
to insult other women, hatred other women, and decrease other’s women’s values. Internalized sexism is
obviously seen through their actions on social media.
Keywords: internalized sexism, Pick Me Girl behavior, social media culture, TikTok

The TikTok app was created in September emerged. It has been a long-standing issue on
2016 as a Chinese social network and music social media applications, and TikTok’s
video platform (Wijaya & Mashud, 2020, pp. ForYouPage, an algorithm that establishes a
171–172). It is a platform for teenagers and symbiotic link between user interest in trends
adolescents to be playful, bold, and and a way to gratify these desires, has
uninhibited — a welcome diversion from encouraged the long-standing subject of body
Instagram’s solemnity, Snapchat’s stress, and image dissatisfaction. When users continue to
Twitter’s verbal conflict (Kennedy, 2020, p. 4). exhibit an interest in harmful body trends, the
A new kind of social media known as TikTok, app will continue to promote this same
where users are encouraged to create creative information in an effort to keep users engaged
films and contribute comments, has just (Korbani & LaBrie, 2021, p. 1).
______________________________________
1
Universitas Islam Negeri Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta, Indonesia. E-mail: [email protected]
2 Universitas Islam Negeri Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta, Indonesia. E-mail: [email protected]
3 Universitas Islam Negeri Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta, Indonesia. E-mail: [email protected]
4 Universitas Islam Negeri Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta, Indonesia. E-mail: [email protected]
 Rosida, The Manifestation of Internalized Sexism 9

Social media is an instance of a reasonably Within TikTok, some phenomena have

new information technology breakthrough emerged, one of them is The “Pick Me Girl”
(Marbun et al., 2020, p. 2513). According to which has been become a trend on the inter-
Kaplan and Haenlein (2010), the term “social net. It is a phrase that has been incredibly
media” refers to a collection of web-based common on TikTok, generally in the form of
applications that build on the conceptual and comments or as the sole basis of a video. This
technological foundations of Web 2.0 by trend is used to describe teenagers who have
enabling users to create and share user- been influenced by gender norms and have
generated content. Examples of social media ended up putting down other females in order
include magazines, internet forums, blog sites, to attract the attention of others. It is
social blogs, microblogging, forums, webcasts, particularly hard on girls who are unique,
photographs or visuals, and video (Sandel & boyish, and one-of-a-kind. Originally, the
Ju, 2019, p. 319). Through a process known as “Pick Me Girl” trend was popularized on the
“construction of social power,” social media social media platformTikTok. Eckert stated
can be culturally powerful. One of the funda- that, according to some definitions, pick-me
mental principles of social media is that you girls is a feminist response to certain women’s
can join a “conversation” and expect to have a inclinations to defer to men or appeal to the
substantial impact on it. (Pandia, 2018, p. 20). male gaze. While this response may be
Social media has arguably created an avenue beneficial if it were directed against the
for people to actively participate in selective structures that contribute to these situations, it
exposure. People tend to favor information seems that the word has been used
that supports their ideas and reject increasingly often online, resulting in
information that opposes them (Pandia, 2018, cyberbullying and allegations that other
p. 22). women or girls are pick-me-up girls (Means,
TikTok can be mentioned as one of popu- 2021, pp. 44–45). For example, they do not
lar culture this day. The term refers to any apply cosmetics, do not wear skirts, only listen
socially acquired habits and lifestyles that are to rock, and despise girls who embrace
learned and popularized through the media, femininity like other girls. Although wanting
particularly social media. The following attention is not necessarily harmful, it gets
elements of popular culture are covered in this dangerous when you are intentionally bad-
work: linguistic styles and slang (language) mouthing another individual. Especially at
(Ohiagu & Okorie, 2014, p. 96). Tik Tok is a such an early age, when every girl should be
famous application that has been effective in struggling to break free from the sexist
instilling a popular culture in young folks. It is patterns of prior generations. It thrives on
rapidly gaining popularity due to its numerous bringing other females down, as well as the
features. More than 50 million Android users very core of womanhood (Agustin, 2021, pp.
all across the world have downloaded the app 3–4; Dameron, 2021).
so far. Because of its status as a popular When we make a comparison of ourselves
culture media and a trendsetter in Indonesia, to others, it is possible that we do not
this app is engaging to investigate, and users experience a feeling of belonging to a certain
have given it good ratings. (The Google Play group and are seeking acceptance from this
Store has received a rating of more than 4 group to affirm our sense of self. A “Pick Me”
stars) (Kurniawan, 2018, p. 84). Furthermore, girl, according to one internet source, is “a
according to App Annie, an app analytic person who pleads for the admiration,
company, TikTok is one of the most acceptance, and approval of a certain group in
downloaded applications, ranking 7th in all- a number of ways.” Generally, it is to get the
time downloads globally in the preceding other sex's attention, acceptance, and approval
decade (A Look Back at the Top Apps and Games (Petkova, 2021, p. 5). Moreover, when
of the Decade, 2019). compared to someone else, or otherwise
10 , Vol. 05, No. 01, April 2022: 1-66

referred to as 'the other,' who is better, The appearance of Pick Me Girl in social
prettier, smarter, etc. (upward comparison), it media culture, especially in TikTok, refers to
can result in low self-esteem, which can lead the situation where someone favors their ideas
to disorders such as depression, but it can also to seek others’ approval and attention by
be motivating or serve as a desire to be the rejecting others’ opinions and treating them as
best version of oneself. On the other hand, if their opinions are more important than
there is the 'downward comparison,' or others’. The term Pick Me Girl can be found
comparing oneself to someone who is thought on the TikTok app by searching for “Pick Me
to be worse than oneself (Petkova, 2021, p. Girl” in the search bar or under the hashtag
38). #pickmegirl. Because the issue expressed in
Men and society as a whole treat girls and the #pickmegirl content is to share
women in an inequitable manner, which is experiences encountered by women without
known as sexism. Sexism manifests itself in a being limited by geography and time, this
variety of ways. On one, Women's rights are trend has expanded all across the world, with
being restricted by legislation and by high- views topping 1.1 billion on November 18th,
profile sexist incidents such as sexual assault, 2021. This phenomenon is worth investigating
domestic abuse, sexual harassment, and since it is quickly becoming one of the most
workplace discrimination, as well as by pressing societal challenges of our day, and it
legislation. Nevertheless, there are everyday has taken on a bad connotation among
instances of sexism that are part of our day-to- women.
day encounters and relationships. One of the The significance of the research
key aspects of sexism is that the power is contributes to research related to cultural
unequal between the two groups (Bearman et studies on social media cultural phenomena,
al., 2009). Bearman et al. (2009, pp. 15–17) as a reference for further research
have shown that internalized sexism involve developments related to internalized sexism in
feelings of powerlessness and incompetence, social media culture, both through TikTok
competition between women, objectification, and other social media, and identifies aspects
and invalidation and derogation. of internalized sexism in the term Pick Me
From time to time, social media culture has Girl contained in social media culture through
developed on the internet. People create new TikTok.
stereotypes to describe a certain situation in Su et al. (2020) conducted a study on
social media and establish the mass popular TikTok with the goal of developing the site
culture within societies. Furthermore, this into a self-branding platform for athletes. The
social media culture also held an important popularity of TikTok may assist athletes in
role in the emergence of the Pick Me Girl developing positive connections with fans,
phenomenon, as this has become a trend in promoting sponsored content, and appealing
popular culture. This term has been a part of to real fan groups. This study is different from
social media culture’s development since it this recent study because previous studies
appeared for the first time in 2018 on investigated the effect of TikTok as a tool for
Instagram and Twitter, until it gradually got athletes to promote themselves, while the
the most attention to the public in TikTok recent study revealed aspects of internalized
media. Therefore, we choose TikTok as the sexism contained in the popular term “Pick
platform to analyze the phenomena of Pick Me Girl'' in TikTok videos. The previous
Me Girl because TikTok itself is becoming a research related to internalized sexism has
popular application nowadays, and instilling a been discussed by Kira K. Means, who
popular culture among societies along with the explained internalized sexism throughout ‘The
term Pick Me Girl is massively appearing on Bachelor’ show on season 20. In this case, the
this platform. show is about women who implicitly depict
women who implicitly look down on each
 Rosida, The Manifestation of Internalized Sexism 11

other and according to Means, what is shown dominance. The reason why this research used
in the series ‘The Bachelor’ is common in internalized sexism instead of internalized
everyday life (2021). Although the previous misogyny is that in this study, the result is
research had discussed internalized sexism, the more about action than ideology. Based on
research focused on internalized sexism within Manne (2018), it is stated that one of the
TV shows by comparing the implicit and the many characteristics of a patriarchal regime is
explicit of internalized sexism, while this study sexism. Sexism, she believed, rationalizes, and
is focusing on the aspects of internalized defends patriarchal standards, but misogyny
sexism towards TikTok. policies and enforces patriarchal norms.
However, this current study has analyzed
the aspects of internalized sexism within Pick DISCUSSION
Me Girl behavior on TikTok in a global
context. This study attempts to find out what The roots that signify patriarchy’s base,
where male supremacy, centrism, and power
Pick Me Girl does and see if there is a
connection between Pick Me Girl's behavior are found, show a deep-rooted masculine
control that is difficult to untangle or eradicate
and internalized sexism in TikTok videos in
different languages. Therefore, the research (Johnson, 2014). Women and men have
significantly distinct roles and gender
examined two research questions: How does
the Pick Me Girl behavior reveal aspects of stereotypes in patriarchal societies, where
males are expected to be strong, self-
internalized sexism through languages in the
TikTok videos? sufficient, physically masculine, and interested
in science and technology, while women are
METHOD expected to be infirm, emotional, fearful, or
feminine (Koenig, 2018). Meanwhile, women
The method used is qualitative by using the are considered weak, sensitive, and need
theory of internalize misogyny and the con- protection from men.
cept of internalizes sexism. Therefore, Physically, they are stronger than women,
internalized sexism and internalized misogyny and they are considered the family’s
are phrases that are used interchangeably breadwinners from a financial standpoint.
(2021, p. 2). Firstly, the data was collected by Women’s roles are essentially limited to child
focusing on Pick Me Girl videos on TikTok. care and household activities, which can be
Secondly, give a critical understanding to lan- defined as the activity of doing housework
guages women used in the video by applying that does not require much thought, as well as
the theoretical framework of misogyny by serving when they return home and are
Kate Manne and internalized sexism. Lastly, drained by their spouses following a day of
explaining in light of the concept of outside work (Dewi, 2019, p. 167).
internalized misogyny and internalized sexism
to the data collected and classifying the data In this patriarchal environment, the
that has been obtained, and exploring stereotype of women causes a woman to be
additional sources, such as previous research influenced by men’s thoughts and domination.
and theses, journal articles, expert theories, Whereas, men are regarded as having sensible
and utilizing them to support the data analysis. ideas and preferring to think logically rather
According to Manne, misogyny has been than emotionally, and as a result, males are
defined as the “law enforcement branch” of regarded as being more capable of dealing
sexism, or the measures are done to guarantee with challenges in their lives. As a result, men
that sexism’s laws and expectations are are stereotyped as having a superior position,
upheld. Otherwise, sexism is described as the authority, and right to express their lives, and
set of norms and expectations put in place to as a result, men are stereotyped as having a
maintain a patriarchal system, which in this superior position, authority, and rights to
case refers to a system based on men’s express their opinion, intellect, and an ability
12 , Vol. 05, No. 01, April 2022: 1-66

to think critically (Susilowati, 2021, p. 7). advancement of male perks and masculinity
Unaggressive; quiet; observant; emotionally traits associated with men’s control and au-
expressive; maternal; weak; hysterical; erratic thority, it is not always obvious that women
(particularly during menstruation); dependent; have little or no traits such as authority,
docile; subjectivity; subservience; independence, dominance, and moreover,
indecisiveness; and a lack of self-confidence masculine characteristics, such as those
are all terms used to characterize women by exhibited by some women who exert control
Johnson in Barli et al. (2017, p. 234). in sports the same as men (Barli et al., 2017, p.
This encourages women’s feelings and 235). Therefore, most of the women’s
motivations to demean their fellow genders behavior in Pick Me Girl described the way
with the aim of getting their own satisfaction women tried to seek society’s attention,
through thinking and self-belief that they are especially from men, as the result of a
not like other women or that they are the patriarchal society that involved the role of
most different by demeaning their fellow men who held control over women.
gender. In this way, the Pick Me Girl’s
behavior manifests in a woman. A “Pick Me Internalized Sexism through Languages
Girl” woman, according to one article online, used by Pick Me Girl
is a person who pleads for the interest, The Ideas of Beauty Standard which Dif-
respect, and acceptance of a certain group in fer Among Women
many ways. In most situations, it is to get the
other sex’s notice, respect, and acceptance In Asian cultures, “whiteness” or
(Petkova, 2021, p. 5). possessing white skin is seen as an essential
Moreover, the behavior of Pick Me Girl factor in the construction of feminine
created a negative stigma among women, attractiveness. The fact that Asia was
which led them to oppress their fellow gender dominated by Europeans for around two
as the Pick Me Girl women tried to seek centuries had a significant role in reaffirming
validation and attention, preferably from men, the association between beauty and fair skin
by degrading their other fellows. This negative tone and complexion. During the colonial era,
behavior of Pick Me Girl can be damaging to the colonizer belonged to the white race,
society, especially among women, because it while the colonized indigenous were of the
could affect how they judge themselves. Pick dark race, lending further support to the
Me Girl’s behavior can also be considered widespread assumption that whiter
bullying among women just to get higher complexion indicates more power and
status, especially in front of men. Moreover, attractiveness (Rodrigo-Caldeira, 2016, p. 11).
this behavior could attract competition among The beauty standard of women comes from
women in order to be the center of attention how the Western created the ideal of beauty
within society, especially among men. In both on women, which is a tall white-skinny-blonde
laboratory and real-world contexts, female with long hair (Wulan, 2017, p. 1). This beauty
intrasexual competition via competitor standard is also applied among women in
derogation has been examined in a variety of Indonesia. In the video, it is stated that to
ways (Ferguson, 2020, p. 3). meet beauty standards in Indonesia, one must
have fair skin. The woman in the video shared
In addition, Pick Me Girl behavior can also her experience of having a Pick Me Girl
be stated as the result of male domination. behavior case by a fellow woman. She
Women with Pick Me Girl behavior crave for demonstrated the event in the video using the
men’s attention because Pick Me Girl women point of view of two people. The first
used to be dominated and powered by men, woman’s point of view is the Pick Me Girl.
so they tend to feel powerless and need men’s The other is the victim which is a woman who
attention. Despite the patriarchal system’s
 Rosida, The Manifestation of Internalized Sexism 13

got harassed by the Pick Me Girl woman woman’s, “Come here. See! Is my skin already
because her skin got tanned after sunbathing. similar to hers?” This is actually a satirical
The conversation between the two women speech of the Pick Me Girl woman because,
is portrayed in the video posted on June 26th, from the previous conversation, she
2021 by @oppabags_id, “The Pick Me mentioned that the other woman’s skin was
woman: Oh My! It’s crazy. Your skin is getting getting dark and that it is similar to the skin of
dark, like tanned. It makes me so envious of you, this people doing labor work. However, she
type of skin is a foreigner men’s favorite!”. However, wanted to get the man’s attention about her
she also said that “tanned skin is like labor appearance. This could be depicted that she
workers in my neighborhood” (Bags, 2021). In the actually wanted to point out the very different
video, the woman was actually had already skin tones of her and the other woman by the
aware of the issue of this beauty standard satire speech, such as the man’s response
going on in Indonesia. She stated “By the way, might just point out that the Pick Me Girl is
in Indonesia, it’s some kind of beauty standard whiter and it would make her superior to the
to have fair skin.” This can be proven through other woman.
the promotion of white people in the Furthermore, it is stated in the video that
Indonesian mainstream media. For example, the victim’s response was “Please don’t be like
the study conducted by (Noeryani, 2008) that, yours and mine are very differ-(ent)”.
examined the idea of beauty in Dove The victim is being interrupted by the Pick Me
Indonesia advertisement messages found that Girl woman as suddenly she diverted the
despite presenting anti-racism by depicting conversation to another person. On this
that black hair is as stunning as colorful hair, occasion, the victim indicated the sense of
the advertisements still promote white skin powerlessness after the Pick Me Girl woman
without blemishes, long flat hair, and a slender compared the skin tone between hers and the
body as a representation of beauty standard by victim because she could not meet the
many Indonesian women. standard of beauty in Indonesia and was
In the video, the Pick Me Girl woman feels bullied in front of other people. As stated by
like she has more power by having white skin, Bearman, Korobov, and Thorne that when
and it is a way of accomplishing better status. someone feels weak, they may make claims of
The concept that skin tone influences social incompetence, which may feed into their
position is adopted by many women in the emotions of helplessness and lead to even
postcolonial state as a result of internalizing more impotent conduct (Bearman et al., 2009,
the belief that whites are socially favored by p. 15).
the majority (Wardhani et al., 2017, p. 235) As
a result, not only did the Pick Me Girl woman Competition between Women to get
want to be recognized as unique from the Men’s Attention
other women, but she also wanted to be Bearman, et al. (2009, p. 16) explained that
treated differently from the other women as a women are pitted against one another in a
person who holds herself to a higher standard patriarchal culture because they must prove
than the others. that they are immaculate and deserving of
In this case, if the victim cannot achieve others’ attention and respect . The video that
the beauty standard that has been formed in showed the competition between women was
the society to have white skin. Therefore, it posted on July 18th, 2021 by @frtshnt22. In
makes her feel incompetent as the beautiful the video, she showed a situation where the
woman in Indonesia. The feeling of Pick Me Girl held the most conversation that
powerlessness in this video is depicted when was going on (Johnten, 2021). In this video,
the Pick Me Girl woman asked a man to see the Pick Me Girl woman demonstrated that
how different her skin is from the other she was in charge of an event. The video
14 , Vol. 05, No. 01, April 2022: 1-66

began with the Pick Me Girl woman video, she was indirectly expressing her
demonstrating how she called over a guy to possessiveness towards the man, who they
approach her and explain that she was in were in a very close friendship with, which
charge of the event as she stated, “Yes, I am the lasted a long time ago. On top of that, this
person in charge here because I have many showed that the Pick Me Girl woman felt the
acquaintances here, many of my friends. So, I can other women as a threat that the men might
handle events as simple as this, so it’s natural that I be attracted to the woman, even though she
was chosen to be in charge of this event.” Then, she firmly believed that the men liked the type of
suddenly greeted another woman in front of woman just like her. However, at the end of
this man, and out of the blue, she cornered the video, it was discovered that the man’s
the other woman for being there physically taste in music was the same as the woman that
simply because she was a K-poper. The Pick she insulted, namely K-pop music.
Me Girl woman had the stereotype that K- Furthermore, as Michie (1992) noted, female
popers usually just stay at home, crying over competition appears to be a struggle for scarce
‘Oppa’ or Korean (older) men, and will not resources such as preferred social positions,
choose to come to the kinds of events that are wanted male partners, prestige, value, and
full of crowds. Then it could be implied that other types of social capital, and the phrases
she insulted the other woman because she “other” and “woman” have a long history of
preferred Korean men. She also mentioned being associated. Competitiveness shows up
that the other women should not like men as malicious gossip, social exclusion, zero-sum
from other races and that she should like men comparisons with other women, and women
from within their country, which is Indonesia. tearing one another down or relegating each
However, this is actually a subtle way of other to lower-status positions in order to
saying that her speech was directed towards appear or feel stronger (Bearman et al., 2009).
the man since, in the video, the Pick Me Girl Individuals are more prone to comparing
woman is portrayed as gazing at the man. She themselves to members of their own ingroups
also said that she liked “local” as if the man than members of comparably privileged
were the object rather than a human being. outgroups (Crosby, 1976; Walker & Smith,
She said that the man must like the types of 2002). Women are so divided by internalized
women that have styles like hers, and that she sexism. Internalized sexism causes women to
is a “boyish” woman because the man’s compete against one another rather than
fashion style consists of dark colored mixed banding together to combat the underlying
clothes. However, in the end, when she was source of unfairness—sexism perpetrated by
suddenly forced to take the handset that was males and backed by a social authority.
being used by the man, “What music are you According to Villeval et al. (2013, p. 7), the
listening to right now?”, the music was figured competition winner is the individual who
out to be K-pop from a K-pop girl band, and performs the best in comparison to those who
then, the video was cut. also choose to participate in the tournament,
From this video, the Pick Me Girl felt that and only one person can win. This means
she wanted to appear as the best type of everyone, especially every woman, competes
woman, which is “boyish” by insulting the to be the winner. When they can be more than
other women’s preferences over Korean men. other women, they think they can be the
The woman said that because she wanted to winner. That is why women will do things to
attract the man’s attention. She showed belittle other women or not brag so that they
interest in the man by stating they are very become the winners in a competition between
close friends who have known for many years, other women. It is no surprise, then, that
whereas when she revealed her relationship instead of competing and aggressing against
with the other woman in front of the man, she men, women compete and aggress against
stated that they were not friends. From the each other (Grabe et al., 2012, p. 112).
 Rosida, The Manifestation of Internalized Sexism 15

Additionally, to get the attention and “You’re so skinny like a stick”. In this case, the
respect of men, the women compete against first woman claimed the other woman was
each other. When it comes to female just an object, not a human being. In
competition, indirect aggression is more response, the other woman replied, “Ugh
common than frontal aggression. Aggression thanks, you’re so fat like a hippo” (Rango, 2021).
can take the form of gossiping and negatively The thin female ideals are largely connected
characterizing a competitor. Due to the with white women, who, as Dyer (1997) notes,
restrictions of childbearing and caregiving, this are portrayed positively in the culture (Akinro
circumstance is ascribed to a preference for & Mbunyuza-Memani, 2019, p. 2). As if the
relatively low-risk competition methods beauty standard of a true woman is to have an
(Bozkur, 2020, p. 1983). For example, in the ideal body that is not too skinny or too fat.
video, the first woman’s point of view is a Therefore, from the video, both of the
Pick Me Girl. She played a Pick Me Girl who women actually treated each other as physical
belittles other women who like Korean and visual objects to reinforce the wrong
culture. She claimed that she was better than beauty standard. As a result of this pervasive
that woman because she preferred local boys experience, women internalize the observer’s
to Korean boys. Moreover, she also insulted perspective, impeding their organization and
the woman’s appearance because she used independence, and this internalized objectified
make-up, while she only used baby powder viewpoint is operationally defined as a
and lip tint, because she thought that she was concentration on looks (how well the
not a complicated woman, as she claimed to body/self looks and whether it is appealing to
the K-popers woman. Therefore, the Pick Me others) instead of activity and achievement
Girl woman also thought that men like (what the body can do) (Zurbriggen, 2013, p.
women like her, who do not like K-pop 191).
culture and dress up naturally. On the other hand, Calogero et al. (2011);
Moradi et al. (2005) as stated in Bozkur,
Women’s Self-Objectification women who internalize objectification have a
As sexism objectifies women and defines sexist attitude about their body. They turn to
them as objects for use rather than human costly and harmful procedures in various
beings, women are put under a lot of pressure fields, such as cosmetics, aesthetic surgery,
to conform to the concept of beauty. and so on, to get the approval of people who
Additionally, objectification of women objectify them. Besides, psychological
influences men’s support of sexist attitudes, problems such as body-shaming, anxiety,
increasing male hatred against women while depression, eating disorders, etc. occur when
lowering male hostility toward males (Rollero, they fail to get this approval (2020, p. 1983).
2013, p. 380). Women’s construction as Furthermore, objectification can also be
objects stems from their tendency to view included as physical bullying, with the Pick Me
themselves through the eyes of an outside Girl woman trying to feel superior to the
observer, and as a result, they regard victim, which is among fellow women, in the
themselves and other women as physical and scope of what they have related to their body.
visual objects (Bearman et al., 2009, p. 33). A In the video, the dialogue between two
few research studies have examined the women who insults each other as the Pick Me
factors or events that may lead to self- Girl woman insulted the victim based on their
objectification and body surveillance body creates a wrong beauty standard. On this
(Feltman, 2018, p. 2). occasion, the Pick Me Girl woman holds her
The video posted on April 29th, 2021 by wrong opinion towards the victim and
@lili_pusztai describes a point of view weakens the victim and triggers them to insult
between a woman who insulted the other the Pick Me Girl woman back by saying
woman by saying a body-shaming statement, “you’re so fat like a hippo”. Subsequently, it
16 , Vol. 05, No. 01, April 2022: 1-66

creates a hateful relationship between them. statements regarding a certain topic, as for
As the Pick Me Girl woman did their self- example, for other women who like to watch
objectification, they also created the wrong Korean dramas, as if it is a bad thing to do.
beauty standard regarding body shape and Moreover, women’s intrasexual derogation
weakened fellow women. Heinberg et al. may maximize harm to rivals while limiting
(1995), as stated by Rahmani, body image the possibility of retaliatory aggression in
problems are impacted by sociocultural terms of effectiveness (Krems, 2016).
variables like beauty standards, gendered Therefore, the Pick Me Girl woman
norms and expectations, and the media, dominated the conversation as she tried to
among others. All of these factors combined invalidate her opinion as to if what she said
can lead to body image issues (Rahmani, was valid and another woman, who is the
2020). victim, could not even argue with the Pick Me
Girl woman. She humiliated the victim as if all
Humiliation toward other Women the woman victim’s arguments were invalid.
The women who experienced internalized
sexism tend to devalue the women’s position, CONCLUSION
diminish their confidence to speak up, and Women are considered weak, inferior, less
invalidate their own opinion, feeling, ideas, competent, and always dependent on men in
reactions (Bearman et al., 2009, p. 20). As in the patriarchal society. Furthermore, men’s
the video posted October 26th, 2021 by thoughts had dominated women because we
@qinomsaurus, the invalidation depicted are still living in a patriarchal system as well as
through the language states, “Isn’t it weird that I
women’s activities, motivations, actions,
don’t like to watch Korean dramas? I prefer feelings, minds, ideologies, body appearances,
psychological thrillers” (Qinomsaurus, 2021). and roles are still centered on men as the ones
From the video, the woman criticized the hold the biggest power in the patriarchal
other woman’s preferences, which led to the system. Furthermore, this affected how
invalidation of the woman’s feelings and women’s lives were influenced by men’s
opinion as to why she watches Korean authority because they wanted to look
dramas. Drama is identified as the genre that ‘fabulous’, unique, very rare, and not on the
mostly women watch as it often contains a lot
same level as the other women around them
of romance-related material. In relation to the in the lens of the patriarchal system.
research that found that dramas were Moreover, this behavior is identified as Pick
traditionally seen as a ‘female’ genre, while Me Girl in a woman that has been trending on
thrillers were regarded as a ‘masculine’ genre
social media and is becoming a popular
(Dolan, 2017). culture within TikTok.
Buss (1996), (2009); Funk (2002), (2004), as This behavior of Pick Me Girl women then
stated in the Grabe et al, there is evidence that leads to a feeling of competition among
personality qualities and professional skills women within the patriarchal society.
may also be part of the female humiliation Additionally, the attitude of the Pick Me Girl
repertoire, which invalidates the feelings and woman pushes the feelings of the other fellow
opinions of women who prefer Korean women to drop down and they will have their
dramas over psychological thrillers because own satisfaction with the other women that
they are associated with sensitive people in the they see are not on the same level as theirs as
patriarchal society (2012, p. 111). Even among they want to be the number one standout in
fellow women, humiliation is likely to happen, the lens of men in the patriarchal system.
as in this case, the Pick Me Girl tried to
Based on this trending issue going on in
invalidate their opinion while derogating other today’s culture among TikTok, which has
women, as if their opinion is more valid than more than one billion people in the world
others. They tend to weaken other women’s
 Rosida, The Manifestation of Internalized Sexism 17

interested in it, the aspects of internalized Bearman, S., Korobov, N., and Thorne, A.
sexism are represented to make the victim of (2009). The fabric of internalized sexism.
Pick Me Girl woman feel inferior in her own Journal of Integrated Social Sciences, 1(1), 10–
self and ungrateful for what she already had. 47.
Since this research utilized TikTok to see the
Pick Me Girl manifestation in patriarchal Bozkur, B. (2020). Developing internalized
society, future research could explore more in sexism scale for women: A validity and
depth the Pick Me Girl identity among reliability study. International Journal of
women, which has become a popular culture Eurasian Education and Culture, 5(11), 1981–
in the world through various social media or 2028. https://doi.org/10.35826/ijoecc.289
in other fields of research. Hence, because this Dameron, E. (2021, April 16). Internalized
recent study conducted a study on the social Misogyny: “Pick-Me Girls” and Introspection.
media platform TikTok, further research may
VOX ATL. https://voxatl.org/internalized
identify the manifestation of internalized
-misogyny-pick-me-girls-and-introspection
sexism in more detail contained in the phrase
Pick Me Girl through various social media Dewi, D. M. (2019). The representation of
platforms other than TikTok. patriarchy in Indonesian children folk tales
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