2/28/23, 3:10 PM 24 Examples of Self-Esteem - Simplicable

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24 Examples of Self-Esteem
 John Spacey, October 14, 2021

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Self-esteem is the degree to which an individual has a positive self-image. This is considered a human need and a
basic element of a person's character. The following are illustrative examples of self-esteem.

Motivation
Self-esteem is a foundational type of motivation. For example, an individual may direct effort into their career or
studies as accomplishments in these areas boost their self-esteem.

Parenting Styles
Self-esteem is related to parenting styles whereby unconditional love may boost self-esteem. Likewise, self-esteem
may benefit from a reasonable level of freedom in childhood such as the ability to participate in decision making,
even if this means being allowed to make mistakes.

Performance
High performance may boost self-esteem and poor performance may decrease it. For example, if a student must
give a speech in front of the class, stumbling through in a nervous way may cause the student to feel bad about
themselves, at least temporarily.

Self-Improvement
Self-improvement is the process of looking at yourself in a realistic light and then working to improve what you
see. This is a basic way to build up long term self-esteem whereby you improve over time and use this improvement
to feel that you're on the right track.

Validation
People commonly seek validation of their self-worth from others. This can take many forms and explains a broad
range of human behavior. It is often a good idea to validate your self-identity against reality once in a while.
However, allowing the reactions of others to inflate or deflate your self-esteem is somewhat problematic as this can
make you fragile and open to manipulation.

Identity
Self-esteem can extend from identity. For example, an individual who is proud of what their nation or ancestors
accomplished. For this reason, it is important to give children a positive view of their own identity such as their
cultural heritage. As people mature, they move towards self-esteem based on their own traits and accomplishments.

Respect
The desire for respect from others. This can be an extremely powerful motivation whereby people may shape their
entire lives to be respectable in one way or another.

Social Status
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Social Status
Social status is a term for various types of respect that you can earn from others in a society. Common types of
social status include physical appearance, youth, coolness, intelligence, wealth, popularity, authority and power.

Commoditization of Social Status

As people strongly desire social status -- firms try to meet this need with products and services such as a handbag
that makes you look wealthy, cool or intelligent. This allows people to essentially buy self-esteem and is an
profitable business model. However, this is a fragile and artificial type of self-esteem that creates problems such as
overspending and a generally superficial approach to life.

Resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce from failure to failure without a loss of self-esteem or enthusiasm. The ability to
see that failures are usually temporary setbacks that are actually positive learning experiences is critical to robust
self-esteem.

Self-Forgiveness
The ability to deal with feelings of shame in an appropriate way whereby you eventually heal and go on with your
life. For example, apologizing to someone you have wronged and remembering that your worst moments do not
completely define you.

Confidence
Confidence is a realistic and positive view of your capabilities. This can be cultivated with self-discipline whereby
you become good at something as use this to enjoy an authentic sense of accomplishment and potential.

Hope
Self-esteem is often based on hope for the future whereby you have confidence in a future version of yourself.

Stoicism
Stoicism is a way of life that focuses on that which is in your control and not worrying about anything else. For
example, a job candidate who focuses on doing their best who isn't emotionally influenced by criticism, praise,
rejection or acceptance.

Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is the ability to accept yourself in a realistic light whereby you can laugh at your shortcomings and
gently appreciate your strengths.

Unaffectedness
Individuals who are unaffected have so much confidence that they seldom look for validation from others. These
individuals can't be delighted with praise nor discouraged with criticism. The unaffected are indifferent to insults
and are likely to take the high road whereby they are unwilling to try to match the poor behavior of others. This is
rare such that people tend to view the unaffected with a sense of awe and respect.

Transcendence
Transcendence is the process by which an individual views themselves as one with the rest of life such that they are
indifferent to self. People on a path to transcendence may no longer need self-esteem because they no longer
operate at the level of the self.

Counterexamples

Delusion
Healthy self-esteem is based on a reasonably realistic view whereby you accept your faults and perhaps try to
improve. It is common to use delusion to try to buildup self-esteem such as believing that you are something you
are not. This would appear to be unhealthy as it skips the step of actually becoming what you want to be by
simply pretending you're already there.

Win-Lose Thinking
Viewing life as a win-lose competition whereby you must continually "win" to boost your self-esteem. This
results in crashing self-esteem at each loss -- or perhaps a plunge into denial.
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Self-Criticism
Self-criticism is often presented as being the root cause of low self-esteem. In this context, the term means

irrational, delusional or excessive self-criticism. Healthy and realistic self-criticism is known by other terms such
as self-awareness, introspection or self-improvement.

Inferiority Complex
The unjustified belief that you're not as good as others. For example, an individual who overestimates the impact
of some perceived physical defect such that it completely shatters their confidence. This can cause sadness,
darkness and an aversion to competition. Inferiority complex is often confused with superiority complex
(below).

Superiority Complex
Feelings of inferiority that drive high levels of competitiveness such that an individual typically achieves high
performance but can't relax and enjoy it. Superiority complex generates relentless energy and may be quite
common amongst people who achieve high status in a society such as authority or wealth.

Authoritarianism
Authoritarianism is when an individual uses elements of authority such as laws, rules and processes to boost
their self-esteem. For example, a government official who uses their position to exercise a sense of power over
others.

Narcissism
Narcissism is an inflated self-image that is strangely fragile such that it requires constant validation from others.
This generates negative behavior whereby an individual will aggressively pursue admiration from others -- often
in a self-destructive manner.

Notes

Self-esteem should not be confused with extroversion, aggressiveness, assertiveness, outspokenness, risk-taking or
the ability to manage conflict. For example, someone who is reserved and thoughtful may have very high self-
esteem.

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