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Common App Personal Essay

Pointers
 You’re going to write about you maturation (working through your problems)
 Keep it specific to you (When someone reads it that should only think of you)
 Don’t repeat stuff
 Use words wisely and no fluff words
 Use the prompt as a guide but don’t be trapped by it
 Show don’t tell

Content
(Don’t have to use all just Pointers for what to write about)

 Feeling abandoned in my youth

o How my mother coddled my little brother and sisters and not me (Would visit
peters bed often but only come to mine when I asked)
o My loss of sense of self (Didn’t know who I was from my race, societal view of
me, expectations I wasn’t filling)

 How these feelings festered and the events that pushed me to turn my mindset around
o How being pulled from all my friends left me chronically alone (Leaving ECA for
homeschool)
o Show how you became scared of being social and retreated to the internet.
(Spending 10+ hours online and never leaving the house)
o Being forced into uncomfortable situation was the start to my change in view
(Moving to Carlisle)
o Show how it wasn’t one event but a series of realizations from 2016-2017 (From
seeing how
o Bring up how the tipping point for my change was coming back to Jamaica

 Growth from a boy to a man

o Learning how to roll with life’s punches (How when I lost friends [Being
excluded by one of my friends’ groups], felt inferior to my peers and overall felt
ashamed by how I lagged behind I got up and kept it pushing)
o Learning discipline (To control and temper emotions, cravings and wants to be
used to push myself to new heights [Academic {SAT and CSEC} and personal
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{Getting friends, experiencing relationships and reaching a personal goal were I

felt I no longer had to prove anything to anyone but myself} success])
o Not letting my emotions control me (Basically how I set up the different parts of
me in my head like a counsel and instead of letting one of them dominate the
others leading to self-hate [E.g. My smart side disregarding my sensitive side and
basically sacrificing my mental well being for grades] I make them make
compromises so I can enjoy life)

 How I face challenges now

o How I look at my problems in the face (No more running away to the digital
world for soft comforts to distract myself from my problems)
o How I remain hopeful and stay consistent even when it seems there’s no progress
(Not giving up on the first sign of difficulty [e.g., how I got rejected from all my
schools last year])
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Essay

Lucid at two in the morning, alone with my thoughts. Clearly, I was alone though the house still
buzzed as my mother cared for my siblings, guiding them to the land of sleep.

Some nights she would come by me. Most nights, however, I had no one but myself to show me
the way to that place of peace, often lost yet determined.

I would always wake up the next day, and most days would
shortly find myself at school. A place where the sound of children rang through the halls, the
smell of barbifry filled many classrooms, and reminders of my identity remained everywhere as
at home. Reminders that it didn’t matter how strong, how close I was to my ‘friends’, or how
hard I tried to fit in.

I could never be the boy they thought I should be, as my sensitivity betrayed me.
I could never be more than an alien to my friends and family, as their labels betrayed me.
I could never quite fit anywhere in as my identity betrayed me.

Yet a few friends who looked at me for all of me accepted me for who I was. Against the
reminders about what I was and was not, they reminded me that only I choose who I am.

That all changed when my friends at school were locked away from me. I became trapped in
homeschool, sectioned from my friends, those who understood me best.

In its place, a classroom not filled with the smell of barbifry nor the sound of children. The life
of school replaced by the solace of my brother and mother: Being taught by a dumb laptop and a
shut-off mother in a dead living room. I had no one to talk to that would understand me but
myself, no one to make me laugh but a screen, and no one to share the joy and sadness of it all
but a dog.

This solitude embraced me for three years, engulfing my eyes in a darkness I never knew. Then
as sudden as light, everything changed.

I was to be in America for a year and would be going to public school.

The judgmental watch of my peers, no friends, a new

country, a new life, will this be worse than years of loneliness?

Could it?

Regardless America would be my turning point, yet a turning

point never came. In its place, a growth that could only be seen in hindsight. As on the first day
of school, I was still the same boy I was in Jamaica, yet day by day, I would push myself to
grow. Even on the days when I thought I hadn’t changed at all.
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I grew.

The year came and went, and so did friends and experiences. A first kiss, rejections, a winter
expedition into a forest, not making the soccer team, a first school dance, a drop into an icy lake,
and a first girlfriend.

Stroke-by-stroke experiences came and molded me as only

life can. So, when I returned home to Jamaica, I was eager for whatever came my way and what I
could get from it.

And experiences I saw.

Through my experiences, new and old, I learned many lessons. To not distract yourself from
your problems but face them head-on; In bad times that you can find some good; Even when it
seems as if nothing changes, to trust the process. That all experiences are valuable to making you
a stronger person, as every W is a win, and every L is a lesson, not a loss.

Most importantly though, I learned that no one can tell you who or what you are but yourself.
You aren't stuck as the person you were at the start forever, but you are the person you try to be,
even if you are not all the way there yet.
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Notes
Parents Notes
What is this “Identity”
Show how your expierences helped others (Surgix, TD Study groups and etc)

Content
(Don’t have to use all just Pointers for what to write about)
 Keep it specific to you (When someone reads it that should only think of you)
 Don’t repeat stuff
 Use words wisely and no fluff words
 Use the prompt as a guide but don’t be trapped by it
 Show don’t tell
 Have one central point
 Write about
o Who are you
o How will I contribute to my community

Possible themes
Essence Objects
 Xbox Controller (Loneliness)
 Leaf Tray (Carlisle)
 A deck of cards (Friends)
 Berserk Vol 1 (Literature)
 Bob Marley Shirt (Mother)
 Christmas Ham, Mac n Cheese and Rum n Raisin Ice-cream (Grandma)
 A belt (Father)
 A set of blank Flashcards (Determination – Super power)
 Gazebo (Secret) [Prob won’t use obviously]
 The ocean (Place of safety)
 Khaki clothes (Loss of identity - Challenge)
 Hershey – Paw print (Understanding - Resource)
 Stability (Goal for the future)
 Slippers – (How I create worlds in my head as I go outside)
 Bad fruit (Fear of being outcasted)
 Xbox controller (Regret wasting my youth)
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 Hydra jolt Speaker (Going to cane river with the guys – perfect day)
 Berserk Vol 1 (Book that changed my life)
 Plate and fork (Christmas – Fav holiday)
 Brush (Item associated with me)
 I wouldn’t be who I am today without Hershey
 My life forever changed when I was homeschooled then moved to America
 My flower (Smth I wont reveal to anyone)
 A ma p (Best friend)
 Autocad (What do I want to be – Engineer/Coder)
 Puppy (My emotional intelligence)
 Ice lake (Importance of the new)

Theme
That my understanding and outcome in life is proportional to my effort despite the randomness
of life
 Key locations in my life (Montage)
 Your love of exploring (Narrative)

Uncommon links to that theme

Paw print – Front yard (Hershey - Understanding - Resource)
Picture Frame with photos of Carlisle friends – How my old friends prepared me for the new
experiences to come (Foresight from experiences from the past)
Cuban Chain Bracelet – Surgix (How my personal efforts can help others)
T Square – TD Workshops (Its always better to create an environment where people can
collaborate even if your well off)
Leaf tray vs Xbox Controller – Airplanes (My life forever changed when I was homeschooled
then moved to America)
A set of blank Flashcards – My room (Determination – Super power)
Ice lake – Carlisle (Importance of the new)
Berserk Vol 1 (Literature)

Use 5 uncommon links to write an essay in a montage format and use 1-3 (Use discretion) to
write in a narrative format.
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Essay

My room is an art exhibition. All the memorabilia collected throughout the years are art pieces
and artifacts from lands far away in time.

Places never to be seen again.

Each artifact representing a pivotal commitment, lesson, and experience that molded me into
who I am today. These artifacts come together to make an atypical view of my life as people
walk through my exhibition and see who I am. Like any exhibition, the best part is seeing, so let
me be your guide and walk you through my room.

A Leaf Bowl
It rests right on top of my shelf. The red pigments, ingrained into the depression made from a
leaf pressing into the soft clay, take me back to times of uncertainty. At a time when the only
person to help me through the transition from Kingston to Carlisle was me. How failures and
victories in moving made me commit to being dependable for myself when no one else would
be. Because I alone can face my problems.  So, you always have to be there for yourself as
there will be times when you have no one to depend on but you.

Berserk Deluxe Volume 1 

This book lies on the top shelf of my bookcase. While 'Berserk' as a series is "peak fiction" (Best
of its Medium), its what berserk reminds me of that makes it so important. It reminds me of my
love of art, as art is an ever-present force in my life. My engagement with art through analyzing
fictional and non-fictional works is essential to my identity. Analysis, for me, is more than just
understanding what a creative is saying; I get to view life through the illustrious perspectives of
multiple creatives. Allowing me to learn lessons only life can teach through the use of a pen,
keyboard, or instrument.

CXC Exam Receipts

  These receipts are all over my room if you look hard enough. Whenever I find one, it takes me
back to the first time I did CXC (A regional test). While getting a good score was the goal, when
I look back on CXC, all I remember is how helping others helped me. Through using my
understanding of the topics to help those who didn't. It taught me that being there as a pillar of
support is one of the most fulfilling things a person can do. To see someone, succeed when you
poured all your effort into them is as magical as any wizard could ever be. Being a pillar for
others to lean on isn't a burden but a gift.
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A Signed American Football

  This football (Signed by a friend in Carlisle) is near the bottom of my bookshelf, just by my
shoes. So, whenever I go to get a pair of sneakers, I see it. It often floods back memories of
moving countries and all the memories (good or bad) that come with them. Though more
importantly, it reminds me not to be afraid of new experiences. In the face of moving, I learned
how to make true friends and be myself unconditionally. So, whenever I see that football, I
remember not to be scared of the new. Because even if it seems only disappointments and
defeats are happening, you will learn lessons from them.

More artifacts make up this art museum called my room. Ranging from my view of my
childhood dog, who taught me to think through my issues. My Xbox opened my brain to the
importance of teamwork. To a stack of blank flashcards that reminds me of the superpower of
my indomitable diligence, to name a few.

When I move out of this room, it will be like an art exhibition closing. It'll be difficult leaving
these pieces of myself behind. But I know that I will need space for all the new experiences and
lessons to create the next exhibition in my life.
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How to write a lot of essays quickly

Best way to keep a readers attention/ entertain them while still delivering the message

A lLeaf tray.  It rests right on top of my shelf. The red pigments, ingrained into the depression
made from a leaf pressed into the soft clay, take me back to times of uncertainty. At a time
when the only person to help me through the transition from Kingston to Carlisle, PA was me.
How failures and victories in moving made me commit to being dependable for myself when no
one else would be. Because more than anyone, I alone am responsible for myself.