1st Assignment

NAME: Syeda Bismah Wajeeh

REGISTRATION ID: 022-20-119887
PROGRAM: BBA-H
DATE: 23-11-2022
SUBJECT: Communication Skills
INSTRUCTOR: Ma’am kiran dadabhoy

Q1. Write a Memo for the given material in Lecture 4

Task: As assistant manager in the Purchasing Department, write an interoffice memo to all
employees informing them of the new procedure.

MEMORANDUM

Date: 23rd November 2022

To: All Employees

From: Assistant Manager

Subject: Informing all the employees about the new product

I am writing this to inform you all that looking at the success of our old products, we are
launching new product on December 28 2022, to fulfill the increasing demand of our customers.

As our organization continues to make its mark, the board of directors came up with a profitable
idea regarding to the product. More information about the product is that the feature combines
elegant designs and remarkable performance with in pocket friendly amount.

After getting to know the product details please make sure that you all advertise it well in the
market, through social media platforms, and do let me know if you all have any concerns or
queries related to this new product launch.

Thank you,

Name: XYZ
E-mail address: [email protected]
Company contact number: 021-36880277
Q2. Exercise 5.3 Pg. 146
5.3 Radical Rewrite: Informational Memo—Lost in the Cloud
In the following memo, product manager Alexandra Amato reports to CEO Mason Razipour the
high points of a workshop he asked her to attend. Alexandra’s jumbled memo offers solid
information but is poorly written.

Task: Analyze the message and list at least five weaknesses. Revise if directed.

Date: July 10, 2016

To: Mason Razipour, CEO
From: Alexandra Amato, Product Manager
Subject: Cloud Computing

Some time ago you signed me up to attend The Promise of Cloud Computing workshop. I did
attend it on July 8. Herewith is a short report, as you requested. If you prefer, I could give a
presentation about what I learned at the next management council meeting. Is that meeting
coming up in August? Okay, here’s my report. I know you asked that it be brief, so will do! Lisa
Moritz, the workshop leader told the group that the big problem today is that in this
anytime/anywhere workplace employees are working with tons of devices from various
locations. With employees scattered around, software and file storage must be accessible
anywhere, anytime. It can’t be on one type of device, and it can no longer be stuck in one place
to be accessed with incompatible devices. Lisa told us that there are three main ways that cloud
computing can improve the workplace. No. 1. Cloud computing makes it possible to access
nearly all types of applications or software. A vast number of cloud-based services (e-mail,
online storage, online file transfer) can be made available to lots of users—without the problem
of compatibility. Another big benefit is the promise of making employees more efficient. How?
Free access to unlimited ways to provide on-the-spot solutions eliminates searching and
downtime. Cloud computing is also a way to improve communications. It completely transforms
the way work is performed. Lisa didn’t tell us exactly how this was accomplished, but she said
that cloud computing makes for a happier, mentally healthy atmosphere all around. This is just a
bare-bones summary of what I learned. If you want to hear more, please do not hesitate to call.

ANSWER:

Five weaknesses with examples:

 Unclear subject line. Example: (no idea is generating regarding the email)
 Poor informal grammar. Example: (“sometime ago” , “Okay, here’s my report”)
 Lacks clarity. Example (“Subject can be changed to Information regarding to the cloud
computing workshop”.)
 Lacks opening. Example: (“Dear, Miss, Ma’am”)
 Lacks closing. Example: (“Yours Faithfully, Sincerely, Thank you, Regards”)

Q3. Exercise 6.3 Pg. 180

6.3 Radical Rewrite: Instruction Memo—New Procedure for Submitting Travel Expenses
The following instruction memo is negative and unpolished and lacks the “you” view. It needs a
radical rewrite to transform it into an efficient, effective memo. List its weaknesses, and then
rewrite it with a bulleted list and more emphasis on benefits to the reader.

Date: Current date

To: Staff Members
From: Marcy Needham, Accounting
Subject: Travel Expense Claims

This is to inform you that here in Accounting we cannot process your travel expense claims
unless you use the revised Travel Expense Claim form. This form is available on the company
intranet.

If you have questions about what can be properly reimbursed, look at the revised Travel Expense
Policy. This, too, is available on the company intranet. In fact, everyone should read the policy
so that they don’t make mistakes about what is reimbursable. You should note that the mileage
reimbursement amount has been changed. On personal vehicles it’s now 56.5 cents per mile.

Claims for reimbursement will not be approved unless they are submitted within 45 days of the
transaction date. This is important to remember. Don’t wait too long to submit your claim. You
are also reminded that you must secure the signature of your manager for any expense in excess
of $200. We are here to serve!

ANSWER:

Weaknesses found:-
 Lacking salutation
 Lacking opening/closing
 Author’s name is not mentioned
 Courteousness of the language is not present

Message Rewritten:-

Date: 23-November-2022
To: Staff Members
From: Marcy Needham, Accounting
Subject: Travel Expense Claims

Dear Staff Members,

Your travel expensing claims is facing some issues, due to which your claims can not be
processed, to prevent any future problems please follow the instructions given below.

 Kindly use the updated travel expense claim form which is available on corporate
intranet.
  Make sure to readout the whole policy to avoid any confusion, and should note that the
mileage refund has now changed to 56.5 cents per mile on personal vehicle.
 For any expense exceeding above $200, you must have your manager’s signature.
 Submit your claims within 45 days; make sure to don’t get it delay.

I hope you all will follow and understand the instructions for your processing claim forms.

Sincerely,

Name: George Wick

Team leader of Travel Expense Claims

Q4. Pg. 144 exercises- 5.1, 5.2

5.1: Radical Rewrite: Informational E-mail—Lining Up “Lunch and Learn” Talks

The following e-mail message from Kennedy Freed asks his assistant Camille Chavez to perform
a task. However, she will struggle with that task because the message is so poorly written. It
badly needs a radical rewrite.

Task: Study the message in light of what you have learned about how e-mail messages should be
organized. What is Camille to do? Should this message have an end date? List at least five
weaknesses of this message. Revise it if your instructor directs.

To: Camille Chavez

From: Kennedy Freed
Subject: Luncheon Talks
Cc:
Bcc:

You’ve probably seen us working hard to get good speakers to speak at our “Lunch and Learn”
sessions. Well, we’ve finally lined up speakers for September and October. It took a little
twisting of arms, but we do have some really good speakers lined up. We’re scheduling the talks
from 12 to 1, but the speakers should plan to speak for only about 30 minutes and leave 10 to 20
minutes for questions and answer.

I need you to send messages to these speakers to confirm. If any of them has questions or needs
to change his date, just have them call my cell at 213.348.4421. We will need to get this done as
soon as possible since the listing will be released in early September. The speakers include
Alaina Adams, who agreed to speak at our first fall session on Tuesday, September 24. Her topic
is “How to Talk So People Will Listen.” Another interesting speaker is Caitlyn Cervantes. Her
topic is “Ten Top Tips for Eating Healthy.” Caitlyn’s date is Tuesday, October 22. Another
speaker who just agreed is Brandon Tabaldo, and his topic is “Staying Safe, Private, and Secure
on Social Networks.” We were able to schedule Mr. Tabaldo for Tuesday, October 15.

Oh yes, here are the e-mail addresses: [email protected], [email protected], and

[email protected]. Thank you, Camille!
Kennedy Freed

ANSWER:
If Camille wants to help the group in achieving its objectives, she should follow directions. A
deadline should be included in the message to serve as advice for when the task should be
completed and as a future point of reference in the event of conflicts.

Five weaknesses of this message:

 This email doesn’t greet the recipient at first.
 The receiver is not given a clear indication of the purpose.
 Paragraphs are not organized properly.
 Irrelevant information.
 No proper closing.

Writing plan for this information e-mail:

Subject line: Information about “Lunch and Learn” Talks
Opening: Dear Ms. Camille Chavez
Body: The specification about the (Talks) should be given, for example: the time and date,
details about the speaker, and the time allocated for them to talk on the issue should be
mentioned, at last the speakers name and contact information should be given as well.
Closing: it is mandatory to be stated what steps would be done, such as sending invites. The
sender should include information on who to contact if further clarification is required.
Closing should be done while adding thanks, name and contact information in the end.

5.2 Radical Rewrite: Informational E-mail—Web Conferencing Made Simple

Jeremy Harper, a blogger and Web conferencing expert, responds to a request from Christina
Cruz, who wants advice for an article she is writing. His advice is good, but his message is
poorly organized, contains grammar and other errors, and is hard to read.

Task: Analyze the following message and note specific weaknesses with examples. Then revise
if your instructor advises. Remember that you can download these documents at
www.cengagebrain.com.

To: Christina Cruz

From: Jeremy Harper
Subject: Replying to Your Request
Cc:
Bcc:

Dear Christina Cruz:

Hey, thanks for asking me to make a contribution to the article you are preparing and working up
for Networking Voices. Appreciate this opportunity! Although you asked me to keep it brief, I
could give you an extensive, comprehensive list of dos and don’ts for Web conferencing. If you
want this, let me know.
As an alternative to in-person meetings, Web conferencing is increasingly popular. Here’s five
tips for your article. First and foremost, plan ahead. All participants should be notified of things
like the date, time, and duration. It’s your job to send log-ins, passwords, and printed documents
by e-mail. My next advise is about identifying yourself. Don’t assume that attendees will
automatically recognize your voice. The first few times you speak, its good to state your name.

Another tip has to do with muting (turning off) your phone. Believe me, there’s nothing worse
than barking dogs, side conversations. And worst of all is the sound of toilets flushing during a
conference. Ick!

You should play with your microphone and speakers until you sound good. And of course, don’t
shuffle papers. Don’t eat. Don’t move things while your speaking.

My final tip involves using a lobby slide to open. This is a slide that tells the meeting details.
Such as the start time, audio information, and the agenda. This lobby slide should go up about 10
to 15 minutes before the meeting begins.

Hope this helps!

Jeremy Harper

[Full contact information]

ANSWER:

Five weaknesses with examples:

 This message is not considering time and date. Example: (all the employees should be
notified about date time and the session duration)
 No self-introduction given. Example: (Introduction about Jeremy harper should be given
in the meeting so it would be easy for the employees to recognize him)
 Information is not in bullet points. Example: (in this message five tips about the article
are given in paragraph, yet they can be corrected by mentioning them in bullet points)
 Lacks politeness. Example: ( when giving another tip about using phone, the messenger
can politely address that to use microphone to avoid voice distortion during the
conference without being sarcastic)
 Lacks closing. Example: (here in the message its only mentioned hope this helps, instead
of this, the message can me concluded to “email or text me if you have any further
queries” then ending it by Thank you, name, contact information)