Scribd
Upload
190 views

Worksheet - Making I Statements

The document discusses how to use "I statements" to avoid defensiveness when expressing how another person's actions make you feel. An I statement takes responsibility for one's own feelings while tactfully describing the problem behavior. It should include saying "I feel" followed by an emotion and an explanation of how the other person's actions cause that feeling. Examples are provided of blaming statements versus I statements on various scenarios like lateness, lack of communication, not completing group work, and drinking and driving.

Uploaded by

failure failure
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
190 views

Worksheet - Making I Statements

The document discusses how to use "I statements" to avoid defensiveness when expressing how another person's actions make you feel. An I statement takes responsibility for one's own feelings while tactfully describing the problem behavior. It should include saying "I feel" followed by an emotion and an explanation of how the other person's actions cause that feeling. Examples are provided of blaming statements versus I statements on various scenarios like lateness, lack of communication, not completing group work, and drinking and driving.

Uploaded by

failure failure
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 2

When a person feels they are being blamed - whether rightly or wrongly - it's common that they

respond with defensiveness. "I" statements are a simple way of speaking that will help you avoid this
trap by reducing feelings of blame. A good "I" statement takes responsibility for one's own feelings,
while tactfully describing a problem.  
 
"I feel <emotion> when <explanation/scenario>"  
 
 "I feel…" must be followed with an EMOTION word, such as "angry", "hurt" or "worried". 
 Careful wording won't help if your voice still sounds blaming. Use a soft, even tone.  
 In your explanation, gently describe how the other person's actions affect you.  
 
Example:  
 
BLAMING  "You can't keep showing up late when we make plans for lunch. You're being rude." 
"I" "I feel disrespected when you show up late for lunch because we only have a short time to
statement  eat before class starts. I don't get enough time to enjoy my lunch." 
 
BLAMING  "You never call me. I guess we just won't talk anymore." 
"I" Statement "I feel hurt when you go so long without calling me. I'm afraid that you don't care." 
 
Scenarios: 
SCENARIO  A friend always cancels plans at the last minute. Recently, you were waiting for them at a
restaurant, when they called to say they wouldn't make it.  
"I" I feel annoyed when you cancel our plans at the last minute. I waste a lot of my time. 
statement 
 
SCENARIO  You are working on a group project and one member is not completing their portion. You
have repeatedly had to finish their work.  
"I" I feel overwhelmed when you don't complete your part. I don't get enough sleep. 
statement 
 
SCENARIO  Your teacher keeps calling on you in class, and it feels like they're picking on you. You are
actually paying attention, you're just nervous in front of a large class you don't know.  
"I" I feel pressured when you keep calling me. I truly do pay attention in class but I get nervous
statement  because I don't know anyone. 
 
SCENARIO  Your friend's partner always give you and your friends' a ride home after hanging out on
Friday nights. Recently, this same person has started having a couple beers while hanging
out, but still drives everyone home. How do you speak to your friend about your concern
for safety?  
"I" I feel unsafe when you drive after consuming alcohol. I'm worried you could get in an
statement  accident or get caught by the police.  
 

You might also like