Setting Professional Boundaries in a

Changing Work Environment

2021 NCAP Annual Convention

Presenter: Tom Ellis, CPC
Tom Ellis Coaching
www.tomelliscoaching.com
Email: [email protected]

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 Learning Objectives

As a result of this webinar, participants will be able to:

• Apply the “ACE” method to effectively maintain professional boundaries

during in-person or remote service delivery.

• Encourage clients/others? to incorporate the “ACE” method into their own

lives, as an invaluable life skill.

• Recognize the changes in how we provide services and communicate with

clients/others since the pandemic, and how healthy boundaries can be set
in any environment.
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 Ice Breaker Activity
On your Zoom window, look for the “Chat” button and press it.

When you hear the word “Boundary” what one or two words or
feelings comes to your mind when you hear it?

Type in the chat box, or raise your hand to share one or two words that
comes to you mind when you hear the word “Boundary.”

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 Understanding
Limits Border
Opportunity
Professional
Line
No!
Protection
Please Stop!
Feeling Safe
BOUNDARY
End Relationship Acceptable Behaviors

Protect Identity
Rules
Partition Divide
Honor Thyself
Please Respect Me Barrier
Not good, did something edge
Cutoff Wrong Self-care
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 Boundary Crosser’s Mindset

Examples of why others cross boundaries:

• To test the waters
• History of manipulating others
• Focus is mostly on own needs
• Unable to see consequences
• History of crossing boundaries
• Emotional maturity level
• Mental illness
• Sees boundary setting as rejection/abandonment
• Unable to manage impulsive behavior
• Prior exposure to poor boundaries behaviors
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 Types of Boundaries
Type Description Healthy Unhealthy
Personal Are the limits and rules we set for Knowing when to leave work behind Reaching out to clients via text after
ourselves within relationships. after hours. Avoid texting during non hours for non urgent matters.
working hours.
Physical Refers to the personal space and physical Asking for permission to go into another When another invades your personal
touch. person’s space. physical space (i.e. bedroom).

Intellectual Refers to one’s personal thoughts and Respecting differences in other’s When one forces an opinion onto
ideas. opinions. Agree to disagree. another person.

Emotional Refers to one’s personal feelings. Knowing when to appropriately share When someone criticize, dismisses
feelings with others. another’s feelings.

Sexual How one set limits on expressing their Verbalizing what is acceptable forms of When another person forces
sexuality. behaviors. themselves on your body.

Material They are things such as money or personal Setting limits as to what you will share When someone steals another
possessions. with others. person’s possession.

Time How one manages the use of their Turning the phone off when leaving Answering your client’s texts on days
personal time. work. off.

Question for group: Can you think of any other types of boundaries not shown on this slide?

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 Benefits of Having Healthy Boundaries
• Ability to practice self-care and self respect
• Increased self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence
• Ability to engage in honest, direct and healthy communication
• To make healthy choices and take responsibility for one’s well-
being
• Creates a safe, open, steady, transparent, and professional
relationship
• Minimizes disputes and misunderstandings
• Promotes teamwork, productivity and enhances one’s leadership
• Decreases the likelihood of burnout, emotional trigger, and
misunderstandings
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How to Set and Maintain Boundaries (ACE)

1. Awareness of Boundaries
2. Communicate the Boundary Expectation
3. Enforce the Boundary

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 A = Awareness of the Boundaries

• This takes time to develop. (Be kind to yourself)

• Take inventory of your own personal and professional boundaries
• Decide if the other person can have conversation about boundaries
• Be clear about your role and purpose for setting boundaries
• Awareness of boundaries requires self care
• Know your own emotional triggers and plan your response
• Be mindful of your needs and values
• Always take your emotional pulse before responding
• Be aware of your own behavior (i.e. people pleaser, fixer, etc.)

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 What Are Your Own Boundaries?
Personal Physical Intellectual
The limits and rules we set for ourselves Refers to the limits with personal space and physical Refers to one’s personal thoughts and ideas.
within relationships. touch. • I will not engage in conversations with others
• Want others to respect my opinion • Prefer people to ask if I want a hug that are dismissive in nature
• Rather not share my religious views • Do not like being in crowded spaces • I need to have my ideas respected

Emotional Material Time

Refers to protecting one’s sense of self esteem and Placing limits on things such as money or How one manages the use of their personal
emotions from others. personal possessions. and professional time.
• Would share private stuff once there is trust • Rather not share my personal stuff • Will not answer clients text messages on days off
• Will not tolerate abusive behaviors • If others borrow my things, I will put a • Prefer not to let work interfere with family time
time limit on them

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C = Communicate the Boundary’s Expectations
• Have a plan, it will help you to think your approach through
• Discuss how setting boundary is a strategy to maintain teamwork
• Do not defend, debate, or over-explain your position, thoughts and feelings
• Be firm, gracious and direct
• When talking with the other person, consider how it will be received
• Expect resistance, face it with reinforcement
• Discuss the need for a boundary correction as soon as possible
• Be polite, calm, honest, assertive and confident
• Use non-aggressive delivery style (will review in next slide)
• Keep your words and behavior professional
• When possible, Don’t take the other person’s boundary crossing personally
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 Boundary Delivery Styles

When communicating about boundaries, be aware of your delivery style:

1. Aggressive tone: Will be seen as a threat and may push a client into fight/flight mode.

“I know you like to hug people but please keep your hands off or I will call the police.”

2. Passive tone: May be seen as a weakness or insecurity and client may not take you serious.

“I know you like to hug people but please try your best to not do that again.”

3. Assertive tone: Will most likely portray your confidence and seriousness of the issue.

“I know you like to hug people and I am asking that from now on that you could just shake my hand,
Is that understood? …Thank you.”

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 E = Enforce the Boundary
• Know your boundaries, take own inventory
KEEP CALM
• Pay attention to your own emotional triggers AND STATE
THE
• If possible, consider the person’s history and plan accordingly BOUNDARY

• Put ownership of the boundary crossing on the other person

• Where appropriate, consult with a colleague for support
• Deal with the root cause of the boundary issue (Are there unmet needs?)
• If needed, address any of your own boundary behavior that may have contributed to
the situation
• If appropriate, thank the other person for their willingness to address the boundary
issue
Remember: Change takes time. People may forget. Repeat boundaries often. Be Consistent. Be Assertive.

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 Poll
Which part of the A.C.E. model is most difficult to do?

1. Awareness of Your Own Boundaries (Knowing your limitations, values and needs;
making, setting prioritizing boundaries in your personal and professional life).
2. Communicate the Boundary’s Expectations (Clear, polite, calm, honest, assertive
and confident communications about what the boundaries are).
3. Enforce the Boundary (Put ownership of the boundary on the person; communicate
the boundary over and over if necessary).

Put your answer in the chat box

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 Setting Boundary While Working Remotely

1. Know your limits (emotional,

physical, spiritual, etc..)
2. Keep in check with your pulse.
Watch for red flags
3. Be comfortable with setting
boundaries
4. Consider your environment. Make
sure there is support
5. Practice the ACE model often

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 Boundary Statement Template
(aka “I-Statement”)
Note: This template can be useful when dealing with pushbacks from clients after setting a boundary.

I feel _________  Direct, short, simple, feeling expression.

When ____________  boundary being crossed.
Because ____________  reason why it is inappropriate/identify the boundary issue.
I need/prefer ______________ the preferred boundary is communicated. (Focus on preferred behavior)
Therefore/otherwise/etc.______  (optional) state the benefits/consequences of the boundary being corrected or ignored.

Ask yourself the following questions before using the above template:

1. Identify and be aware of the boundary issue (behavior needing correction).

2. Identify and focus on the preferred behavior.
3. Identify the benefits or consequences of using the preferred behavior.
4. Communicate the preferred behavior and be mindful of your tone of voice and body language.
5. How would you enforce the boundary if needed.

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 Examples of how to use the template
KEEP CALM
AND STATE
THE
BOUNDARY
“I feel uncomfortable
when you text me after hours,
because I highly value my time off from work.
I prefer that you either text or call me during work hours, unless there is an emergency.”

“I feel uncomfortable
when you take things from my space
because respecting boundaries is important to me,
I need you to respect my boundaries with the things in my space.”

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 Activity

1. Take a moment to think of situation where someone cross boundary with

you.
2. Only think of something that is simple.
3. Using the Boundary Statement Template (Next slide), write down what you
would say to that person that crossed your boundary.
4. Upon request, share your example of using the template to address a
boundary conflict.

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 Boundary Statement Template
(aka “I-Statement”)
Note: This template can be useful when dealing with pushbacks from clients after setting a boundary.

I feel _________  Direct, short, simple, feeling expression.

When ____________  boundary being crossed.
Because ____________  reason why it is inappropriate/identify the boundary issue.
I need/prefer ______________ the preferred boundary is communicated. (Focus on preferred behavior)
Therefore/otherwise/etc.______  (optional) state the benefits/consequences of the boundary being corrected or ignored.

Ask yourself the following questions before using the above template:

1. Identify and be aware of the boundary issue (behavior needing correction).

2. Identify and focus on the preferred behavior.
3. Identify the benefits or consequences of using the preferred behavior.
4. Communicate the preferred behavior and be mindful of your tone of voice and body language.
5. How would you enforce the boundary if needed.

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 Thank you!

In the chat box, please type three words that describe your
experience with the webinar.

For questions or copy of these slides, contact:

Isabella [email protected] or
Tom [email protected]
 Resources:
Video Series on Setting Boundaries:
https://crossroadsindy.com/counseling-blog/couples-and-marriage/boundaries-definition-and-types-of-boundaries
Part 1: https://youtu.be/Fw0FRj5Iw00
Part 2: https://youtu.be/xJHwsPA_L3Q
Part 3: https://youtu.be/Lz7aAoa8vsQ

Setting and Maintaining Boundaries:

https://www.ncsbn.org/ProfessionalBoundaries_Complete.pdf
https://lonerwolf.com/personal-boundaries/
http://www.recoveryeducationnetwork.org/uploads/9/6/6/3/96633012/boundary_setting_tips__1_.pdf

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