WHAT I WISH EVERY WOMAN KNEW!

© Copyright 2022 by Sehata Thabang Thrall

©All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing
from author, Except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews.

All scripture quotations are taken from the King James version of the bible, Except otherwise stated.

Info contact: [email protected]

ISBN: 978-0-6397-2647-2
Book Contents

Chapter 1 : About a wife

Chapter 2 : A Virtuous Woman

Chapter 3 : About Marriage

Chapter 4 : Wisdom For Relationships and Marriage

Chapter 5 : About Growth

Chapter 6 : About Pressure

Chapter 7 : About Singleness

...About a Wife

Our best description of the meaning of a wife was given to us by the Lord himself. In Genesis 2:8,
When he says, "...It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him".

• The word, “help” used for the man in the original meaning in which it was translated from [Hebrew]; Is
way bigger than how many people understand it to be. When many people think about a wife as a
helper, They imagine it as a servant of the husband or just a little assistance to her boss but No, This is
way bigger than that. The word 'helper' as used in Gen 2:8, is 'ezer' in Hebrew. To understand the
meaning of ezer clearly, Let us read exodus 18:4, It says 'Moses named one of his sons Eliezer, For he
said God has helped me and delivered me from the sword of pharaoh'. Now the word 'Eliezer' in
Hebrew it means: My God is my helper. Eli= "My God"; ezer = "helper". It is also interesting to observe
that in terms of God's help, God would equate himself to what a wife is to a Man. Therefore any idea
that seem to imply that a wife is inferior to her husband because she is called a helper (ezer) is in
error. The word ezer appears twenty one times in the old testament, in two occasions it refers to Eve,
the first woman; but in the remaining nineteen portions it refers to God as our helper. He is the one
who rescues and help us in our own weaknesses; which is exactly what ezer of a woman is to her
husband: One who rescues, saves and help in weaknesses of her husband.
• But for the woman to become the true helper (ezer); She must be well trained and well equipped. It's
not every woman that is an ezer or a wife or true helper and it is unfair to want a husband when your
not an ezer, Because the intention of marriage was for a woman to becomean ezer to her husband.

• Notice: When God was programming the new order after the fall of Adam and Eve; He said to the
woman: Your desire shall be to your husband. So it shouldn't surprise you as a woman when you desire
marriage so much, but the problem is when you desire a marriage as a girl (immature or not as an
ezer).
A Virtuous Woman

▪ Who is a Virtuous woman?

• A virtuous woman is a woman who is well build in wisdom and glory. For she is more glorious than
gold and silver, She is more pleasing and special than all the queens of the earth.

• According to several English dictionaries, A Virtuous woman is a woman of high moral standard.

• The words Virtuous woman" in Hebrew is "eshet - chayil" which in English translation means a wife of
noble character.

• The Hebrew word eshet means a woman. While chayil means the consistency or enduring strength in
having noble character or moral standard.

▪ What makes You a Virtuous woman

• You can actually be a woman of noble character or moral values but if you are not consistent in it;
You cannot be a virtuous woman.

• One of the virtuous woman presented to us in the scriptures is Ruth. She refused to leave her mother
in law alone, After that both their husbands [Ruth and her mother in law's husband; Naomi] had just
died. Since there was also hunger in Moab [Naomi's native nation] Naomi pardoned on them [Ruth and
her sister in law; who's husband had also died to go back to their homeland in Judah] at first they both
refused to leave but when Naomi pleaded with them, saying, 'There nothing left for you to be with me
for even if you would want to get married to another son from me would you wait till the child become
an adult? And how would I give birth if my husband is already died? Hearing this Orpah [Sister in law to
Ruth], finally went to her homeland. Leaving Ruth behind, For Ruth said, "Don't ask me to leave you and
turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and
your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried". Naomi said this things
despite the hunger that was at Moab and notwithstanding the fact that her sister in law had just left.
This Character or attitude of consistency regardless of all the odds: it's a sure indication that this
woman Ruth was a virtuous woman. So much so that Boaz [in Ruth 3:11] said this words to Ruth; "...for
all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman. - THE KEY HERE IS CONSISTENCY!

• A Virtuous woman has an enduring strength in having a noble character or high moral standard as
we have seen this very clearly in the life of Ruth.

• A virtuous woman is one that fears God. Proverbs 31:30, "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a
woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised".

• A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, She crowns him with appreciation, Gladness, Glory,
Favor, Peace, Safety and Joy. She is a model of adoration [check also proverbs 12:4].

▪ Traits of a Virtuous Woman

• She is full of compassion and kindness

• A virtuous woman is a woman of prayer. You won't be a woman of noble character when you are still
demon possessed.

• A virtuous woman loves righteousness. “A gracious woman is respected, but a woman without virtue
is a disgrace…” Proverbs 11:16 (GNT).

• A virtuous woman is a wise builder; Proverb 14:1, "Every wise woman buildeth her house : but the
foolish plucketh it down with her hands”.

• She's a rare commodity. Proverbs 31:10, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above
rubies”.

• “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth
safely trust in her, So that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil All the days
of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, And worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants'
ships; She bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, And giveth meat to her
household, And a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: With the fruit of her
hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, And strengtheneth her arms. She
perceiveth that her merchandise is good: Her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to
the spindle, And her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; Yea, she reacheth
forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: For all her household are
clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; Her clothing is silk and purple. Her
husband is known in the gates, When he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen,
and selleth it; And delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; And she
shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And in her tongue is the law of
kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, And eateth not the bread of idleness. Her
children arise up, and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have
done virtuously, But thou excellest them all” Proverbs 31:10‭-‬29.

- The common word given to us about this virtuous woman is excellence, Wisdom, Kindness, Strength,
Honor, Boldness, Love and she is reputable and brings reputation to her husband.
About Marriage

▪ Marriage Is About Destiny

• God created marriage to combine two destinies. So that they being two will become more effective,
Stronger , Indestructible , Fortified and Impactive. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, "Two are better than one;
because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe
to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.Again, if two lie together,
then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?And if one prevail against him, two shall
withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken".

• Marriage is more about destiny than it is about feelings, money or looks. For if your basis for
marriage be this things, You jeopardize your destiny in the name of marriage.

• Feelings is about how you are feeling at that moment but destiny is about your future. When you
marry for feelings your relationship or marriage will be for a moment but when you marry for destiny,
You secure your future. Although am not saying feelings or money are irrelevant in marriage but simply
saying this things shouldn't be the focus.

• Money does not make marriage; It's only a support system in marriage. Therefore any marriage
whose foundation is money: Will fail once money finish or when the spouse that is in for money, stops
being greedy.

▪ Marriage Is About Covanent

• Marriage is about a covanent of two people becoming one. This covanent makes them one body and
one flesh, becoming entirely one.

• A covanent is a covanent, in winter or summer a covanent is a covanent. Happiness or in difficulties a

covanent is a covanent. Feelings or no feelings a covanent is a covanent. If people would value this
covanent of marriage; They would be no need for divorce.

• Every woman's desire is marriage but every woman should consider very well before entering this
covanent. She must consider the price of being a wife and must be prepared to be committed to the
husband.

• A covanent binds you. You no longer think for yourself only but also for the covenant.

▪ Marriage is from God

• The Origin of marriage is God. Therefore the best place to learn about marriage is in God.

• Academic school or experience cannot establish a man in marriage, Only God can.

• God created marriage to teach men about the great mystery.

• “Husbands have the obligation of loving and caring for their wives the same way they love and care
for their own bodies, for to love your wife is to love your own self. No one abuses his own body, but
pampers it—serving and satisfying its needs. That’s exactly what Christ does for his church! He serves
and satisfies us as members of his body. For this reason a man is to leave his father and his mother
and lovingly hold to his wife, since the two have become joined as one flesh. Marriage is the beautiful
design of the Almighty, a great mystery of Christ and his church. So every married man should be
gracious to his wife just as he is gracious to himself. And every wife should be tenderly devoted to her
husband”,

Ephesians 5:28‭-‬33 (TPT).

▪ The End of a Marriage Can Be Predictable

• One thing for sure; Is that marriage will change you but it will be on the basis of who you are married
to that will affect who you change into: whether it be for the best or for the worst.

• They are signs and red flags that will always be there to show you what your getting yourself into.

• 1 Cor.15:33 (GNT), "Do not be fooled. Bad companions ruin good character".

• Proverbs 13:20, "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be
destroyed".

• A Man that cannot manage his own emotions, Will not be able to manage his own family.
• Your spouse must be your number one fan not your number one enemy. If not your marriage can be
used as a bait to your own downfall.

• A Man or Woman that makes you miserable before marriage, Will give you deppression in marriage.

• Even the wisest man in the bible [Solomon] fell because of marrying a strange woman.

• The strongest man in the bible [Samson] was defeated because of marrying a strange woman.

• It does matter: Who you marry or who you get married to, It also has an enormous impact on your life
and destiny.

• In the old testament God forbade his people not to marry people other nations that worship other
gods and throughout the old testament we see how accurate and truthful God was. Because as many
as did not take heed to the advice were led astray by strange women. 1 Kings 11:1 -2,4, "But king
Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites,
Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites; Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the
children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will
turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. For it came to pass, when
Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect
with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father".

• There is only two sides of marriage. It's either a blessing or a curse. It is only a blessing when it
comes from God.
▪ Marriage is for wifes not girls

• A Woman that must be begged for her to serve her husband is still a girl.

• He that finds a "WIFE" finds a good thing not he that finds a "GIRL".

• Having a woman in the house, does not mean you have a wife.

• A girl always wants to speak but does not want to listen.

• A girl loves attention.

• I have always seen girls complain about not getting married but never a wife. A wife does not
complain about getting married because she attracts marriage.

• Girls want to get married because of loneliness and age but wifes want to get married because they
are ready.

• A girl gets offended when she is not given the money; But a wife gets offended when money is not
rightly used.
• When a girl is angry is inslut the husband but when a wife is angry she keeps quiet.

• girls are always asking for money but wifes are always thinking of ways to build their family.

▪ Marriage Is For Husbands Not Boys

• It is not good for a man to be alone but is is good for a boy to be alone.

• Boys beat their wifes but husbands protects their wifes.

• Boys always want to talk but they dont want to listen.

• Boys loves playing around but Husbands stick to one woman.

• Boys get offended easily but a Husband is very patient.

• Boys do things without thinking first; Husbands are never hasty.

Wisdom for Relationships and Marriage

• Two cannot walk together unless they are one (In vision, purpose and mission).

• A person should be loved for who he is not for what he has. Many parents misled their daughters
when they tell them to date only rich husbands for, For such reason many women fell into the wolves
dungeons.

• My Brother! A Woman that only loves you when you have money; doesn't love you, She loves your
money.

• Make-up, Brazilian hair, Long nails and half-naked clothes does not make a woman beautiful, It only
makes her sexy - Meaning appealing to sex. In truth it's a woman's heart or her character that makes
her lovable - meaning appealing for marriage. I have just answered many women's question is to why
many men dump them after sleeping with them.

• A woman of character is more prefered than a woman of looks.

• "A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is a gold ring in a pig's snout",

Prov.14:22 (NLT).

• If your wardrobe as a woman is not different from a harlot's, you might as well be one. In Prov. 7:24-
27, A Mother advices her sons about a dangerous woman who seduce and lead men astray. She said
the appearance of this strange woman is that she dresses like a prostitude and she is turbulent and
shameless.

• You find the kind of person you desire by becoming that kind; not by searching the earth. In science,
It's called the law of attraction: saying everything attracts it's kind.

• A woman that is sleeping with every man and says will behave herself only after marriage; it's like a
pig that plays in the mud but promise to behave itself when its in the house.

• Have a VISION so clear that you will know when man or a woman does not fit into it.

• When you look at yourself through that person, what do you see? Your imagination was given to you;
To help you perceive the future.

• A woman who does'nt know her value, will be abused by boys.

• If he can abuse you and disrespect you before marriage, He will do it ten times more when he is
married to you.

• There's a difference between; Destiny helper and a destiny destroyer.

• Lack of self esteem is what makes a lot of women stay in abusive relationships.

• The reason why many people cannot be able to find true love is because their searching for it and not
becoming it.

• A woman that does not know how to submit to God, Will definetly not know how to submit to her
husband. And a Husband that does not know how to submit to God will definetly not know how to treat
her wife.

• Anyone that marry because of money betrays hers or his own DESTINY.

• A Woman of "VALUE" Its worth more than a billion. He that loses her has really lost.

• A man or woman that does not know how to say, "sorry" will not make a successful marriage.
• Being comfortable or excited for being a "main chick" Its for women who don't know their value.

• If he doesn't talk to you about his future, You might not be in his future. When a man has serious
intentions about a woman, He fails to hide his intentions.

•A nagging woman will drain your energy but a virtuous woman will charge your energy.

• It will take a person who's not serious about their lives, To choose who to marry while sleeping.

• When you love your spouse more than God, Your spouse becomes your God.

• The secret of long lasting Joy in the family; Is Prayer.

• Part of the reason why marriages fail is lack of freshness. If the couple are not consistently growing
they end up boring each other.
About Growth

▪ The are five growth stages of every woman

• A baby stage

• A girl stage

• A lady stage

• A wife stage

• A mother stage

▪ About a baby woman

• A woman get be very old in age and still be a baby.

• Apostle Joshau Selman once said, "Delay is when your age is the only thing growing in your life".
• You know you are still a baby as a woman, If you cannot do anything for yourself.

• A baby will always cry when they want things but they dont want to do it themselves.

• A baby loves being carried all the time but they never think for others.

• A baby woman instead of adressing issues, She will just cry.

• Just as a baby loves playing with toys; So is a baby woman, She loves thinking about useless things.

• A baby woman does not want to think for herself; Too lazy and childish to think for herself.

▪ About a girl

• The difference between a baby and a girl, Is that a girl can think for herself but she is not resposible.

• A girl can think but she thinks from a very limited understanding. Girls never plan or think for the
future.
• Girls are always dirty; They do not have any reputation, Neither are they concerned about it.

• Girls loves partying instead of growing.

▪ About a lady

• The difference between a lady and a girl: Is that ladies are future minded while girls are never
concerned about the future.

• A woman that's a lady; Is of sound mind.

• Ladies would rather study to grow than going night parties.

• Ladies are so much distracted by their future that they don't have time for gossip.

• Ladies are of better quality compared to girls.

• Ladies are very resposible.

• Unlike girls, Ladies know how to take care of themselves.

• Ladies are mostly successful.

• Ladies are goal driven.

• Full of enthesium.

• Always ready for a challenge and to expand.

• Ladies understands themselves.

• Tender-hearted.

▪ About a wife

• Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD”.
- Notice she was found as a wife, before she was married. It is possible to be married yet not a wife
and it is possible to be single yet a wife. A wife speaks about the quality of a woman; Not necesarily a
title or a position.

• Our best description of the meaning of a wife was given to us by the Lord himself. In Genesis 2:8,
When he says, "...It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him".

- The word 'help' used for the man in the original meaning in which it was translated from [Hebrew]; Is
way bigger than how many people understand it to be. When many people think about a wife as a
helper, They imagine it as a servant of the husband or just a little assistance to her boss but No, This is
way bigger than that. The word 'helper' as used in Gen 2:8, is 'ezer' in Hebrew. To understand the
meaning of ezer clearly, Let us read exodus 18:4, It says 'Moses named one of his sons Eliezer, For he
said God has helped me and delivered me from the sword of pharaoh'. Now the word 'Eliezer' in
Hebrew it means: My God is my helper. Eli= "My God"; ezer = "helper". It is also interesting to observe
that in terms of God's help, God would equate himself to what a wife is to a Man. Therefore any idea
that seem to imply that a wife is inferior to her husband because she is called a helper (ezer) is in
error. The word ezer appears twenty one times in the old testament, in two occasions it refers to Eve,
the first woman; but in the remaining nineteen portions it refers to God as our helper. He is the one
who rescues and help us in our own weaknesses; which is exactly what ezer of a woman is to her
husband: One who rescues, saves and help in weaknesses of her husband.

- For a woman to become an ezer; She must be very well matured, Must go through process of training
and growth.

• Its a scam; For a woman that is a girl, To claim marriage.

• When God was programming the new order after the fall of Adam and Eve; He said to the woman:
Your desire shall be to your husband. So it shouldn't surprise you as a woman when you desire
marriage so much, but the problem is when you desire a marriage as a girl (immature or not as an
ezer).

▪ About a mother

• A mother is not a title given to a women with children but refers to a quality of a woman. As it is very
much possible to have children and still not be a mother; nor have no children but still be a mother.

• A mother is fearless

• A mother is selfless. She sacrifices her joy for the joy of others.

• She never backs away from whatever she determines to achieve, Regardless the difficulties and the
inconviences; She is never discouraged.

• Not ashamed to suffer and struggle for the sake of others.

• Under pressure she never complains.

• The virtue of a mother is priceless.

• She knows how to give birth to kings and she nurishes them with wisdom.

• A mother is a teacher, She teaches even kings the way of wisdom.

• He that refuses to respect and value a mother is a fool.

• The tears of a mother is love. She always cries for others but never for herself.

• The blood of a mother is sacrifice. She bleeds for the sake of others.

• The sweat of a mother is charity. She sweats so that others might eat.
About Pressure

▪ What you need to know about Pressure

• Majority of the marriages that fails is because they were founded on pressure.

• Pressure wakens down your dicernment.

• Pressure makes you vulnerable and easy to catch.

• Pressure leads to compromise.

• Pressure can make you compromise your values of marriage.

• Pressure can make one to undermine even the very voice of God or God's direction.

• Pressure can make one to get into relationship that you know is going nowhere, And still make you
feel comfortable in it.

• Pressure from comparing yourself with others can also lead one into compromise.

• Pressure leads to depression.

• Pressure disturbs your mind from thinking effectively.

• Every love in the beggining is always exciting, Inspiring and romantic but regardless the end of some
ends in break-up. Therefore do not judge love based on it's begginings but on how it shall end.[calls for
dicernment].

• Lack can create a pressure to use a marriage as an escape goat.

▪ Insecurity leads to pressure.

- The insecurity from being told, "All the good man are finished", Can make you compromise.

- The insecurity of thinking, "Am not beautiful enough", Can lead you to compromise.

- The pressure that comes to you when you have one or two children, It can make you believe that you
won't get married because of these children. It is an insecurity that can make you compromise
yourself.

- The insecurity from being told, "Jesus will come before you marry", can lead you into compromise.

• Someone close to me, Was so much under pressure that I had to send a message to her about
pressure. Of course she got offended and blocked me on phone. Two months later she calls me to
apologise and she says, She was so much under pressure that she ignored all the signs and things
that seemed to point out that the relationship wasn't good for her. Infact in her own words not only did
she say she ignored, But said she took out of the way anything that seemed to be in disagreenent with
this new relationship. And this is true for every person because pressure will make you to ignore all the
red flags and fight anybody that is not in agreement.

• Pressure makes you careless about your life.

• Do not stir up love before it pleases. Stiring up love before it pleases, It's like eating a fruit that is not
yet in it's season; It will always taste sour.
About Singleness

• The fear of being single is prove that you not yet ready for love.

• The reason why some people can't stay long in relationships is because they can't stay single.

• Before you find your rib ( wife ) find yourself.

• Before you can want to marry someone else, Ensure you are merry with yourself.
• Your marriage will be at high risk of failing; If you have not yet mastered Singleness.

• If you don't enjoy being by yourself, Then who on earth do you expect to enjoy being with you.

• There was a reason why God created Adam single, And only gave him Eve after.

• Singleness will make you to appreciate your other partner or spouse.

• Singleness does not end when you finally in marriage; But the more single you are in marriage the
more likely you are to succeed in marriage.

• Your Singleness in marriage must be the Singleness of heart, Singleness of focus and Singleness of
purpose.

• Marriage allows you to know better the other person but you can't know better the other person when
you don't even know yourself.

• Stop running away from Singleness. You are running away from the most important part of marriage.
• It's better to be single, Than to be with someone who will be a stumbling block to your destiny.

• Matthew 6:22, “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall
be full of light”.

- The principal from this scripture is teach on the importance of focus. That if a man be sober in his
pursuits he shall excel, Be victorious, Reach to the end, Become free, Be enlarged or enlightened.

- Point here is if your Singleness be not just for Singleness but for aiming at something, Intentional and
purposeful you shall surely reach to the end.

▪ Benefits of being single

• I know they are many benefits as well from marriage but I want to share about benefits of being
single, Because lot of times we are pressured to be in relationships and marriage because of our
ignorance on the benefits that comes with Singleness. Many people are in relationships or marriage
not because they supposed to be there but simply because of the benefits that comes out of it. Either
it be money, Security, Comfort and many more. And lot of times is influenced by ignorance on the
benefits of Singleness.

• Singleness give you more time on yourself.

• Singleness is an opportunity to discover yourself or who you are.

•Singleness gives you the staying power in marriage.

• However, Singleness depends on what you do while single for it to be of benefit to you.

• 1 Corinthians 7:7-9 (MSG), “Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many
ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to
some, the gift of the married life to others. I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness
might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can't manage their desires and
emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are
preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single. And if you are married, stay married. This is the
Master's command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else
come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife”.

• 1 Corinthians 7:25‭-‬27 (TPT), “Now let me address the issue of singleness. I must confess, I have no
command to give you that comes directly from the Lord. But let me share my thoughts on the matter,
as coming from one who has experienced the mercy of the Lord to keep me faithful to him. Because of
the severe pressure we are in, I recommend you remain as you are. If you are married, stay in the
marriage. If you are single, don’t rush into marriage”.
WE HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THIS BOOK

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