A Modest Proposal
A Modest Proposal
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Jonathan Swift
A PENN STATE
ELECTRONIC CLASSICS SERIES
PUBLICATION
Contents
A Modest Proposal ..................................................................... 5
The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers............................................... 13
The Accomplishment of the First of Mr Bickerstaff ’s Predictions;
being an account of the death of Mr Partridge, the almanack-
maker, upon the 29th instant. ............................................ 21
An Elegy on the supposed Death of Partridge, ......................... 24
the Almanack-Maker. ............................................................... 24
An Epitaph on Partridge. ......................................................... 28
Partridge’s reply ........................................................................ 29
A vindication of Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq; against what is objected to
him by Mr. Partridge in his almanack for the present year
1709. ................................................................................. 35
A famous prediction of Merlin, the British wizard. ................... 40
Jonathan Swift (November 30, 1667 – October 19, 1745) was an Dr. John Arbuthnot and Alexander Pope.................................. 43
Anglo-Irish cleric, Dean of St. Patrick's, Dublin, satirist, essayist,
The Battle of the Books ........................................................... 48
political pamphleteer (first for Whigs then for Tories), and poet.
Three Sermons and Prayers .................................................... 168
—Courtesy Wikipedia.org A Tale of a Tub ....................................................................... 194
The History of Martin ........................................................... 295
Jonathan Swift A Modest Proposal
effect as little able to support them as those who demand our charity in
the streets.
As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon
this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other
projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in their computa-
tion. It is true, a child just dropped from its dam may be supported by her
A Modest Proposal milk for a solar year, with little other nourishment; at most not above the
value of two shillings, which the mother may certainly get, or the value in
scraps, by her lawful occupation of begging; and it is exactly at one year
old that I propose to provide for them in such a manner as instead of
BY being a charge upon their parents or the parish, or wanting food and
raiment for the rest of their lives, they shall on the contrary contribute to
the feeding, and partly to the clothing, of many thousands.
JOHNATHAN SWIFT There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will
prevent those voluntary abortions, and that horrid practice of women
FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF POOR PEOPLE IN IRELAND murdering their bastard children, alas, too frequent among us, sacrificing
the poor innocent babes, I doubt, more to avoid the expense than the
FROM BEING A BURDEN TO THEIR PARENTS OR COUNTRY,
shame, which would move tears and pity in the most savage and inhuman
AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL TO THE PUBLIC
breast.
The number of souls in this kingdom* being usually reckoned one mil-
lion and a half, of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thou-
IT IS A MELANCHOLY OBJECT to those who walk through this great town or sand couple whose wives are breeders; from which number I subtract thirty
travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin doors, thousand couples who are able to maintain their own children, although I
crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six apprehend there cannot be so many under th present distress of the king-
children, all in rags and importuning every passenger for an alms. These dom; but this being granted, thre will remain an hundred seventy thou-
mothers, instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are sand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand for those women who mis-
forced to employ all their time in strolling to beg sustenance for their carry, or whose children die by accident or disease within the year. There
helpless infants, who, as they grow up, either turn thieves for want of only remain an hundred and twenty thousand children of poor parents
work, or leave their dear native country to fight for the Pretender in Spain, annually born. The question therefore is, how this nubmer shall be reared
or sell themselves to the Barbadoes. and provided for, which, as I have already said, under the present situa-
I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of children tion of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed.
in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and fre- For we can neither employ them in handicraft or agriculture; we neither
quently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom build houses (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land. They can very
a very great additional grievance; and therefore whoever could find out a seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing till they arrive at six years old,
fair, cheap, and easy method of making these children sound, useful mem- except where they are of towardly parts; although I confess they learn the
bers of the commonwealth would deserve so well of the public as to have rudiments much earlier, during which time they can however be looked
his statue set up for a preserver of the nation. upon only as probationers, as I have been informed by a principal gentle-
But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the man in the county of Cavan, who protested to me that he never knew
children of professed beggars; it is of a much greater extent, and shall take
in the whole number of infants at a certain age who are born of parents in
* Ireland
5 6
Jonathan Swift A Modest Proposal
above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of the diet, there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about
kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art. nine months after Lent than at any other season; therefore, reckoning a
I am assured by our merchants that a boy or a girl before twelve years year after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the
old is no salable commodity; and even when they come to this age they number of popish infants is at least three to one in this kingdom; and
will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half a crown at therefore it will have one other collateral advantage, by lessening the num-
most on the Exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the par- ber of Papists among us.
ents or the kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar’s child (in which
least four times that value. list I reckon all cottagers, laborers, and four fifths of the farmers) to be
I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope about two shillings per annum, rags included; and I believe no gentleman
will not be liable to the least objection. would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat child, which,
I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat, when he
London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most hath only some particular friend or his own family to dine with him. Thus
delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, the squire will learn to be a good landlord, and grow popular among the
or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a tenants; the mother will have eight shillings net profit, and be fit for work
ragout*. till she produces another child.
I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the hun- Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may
dred and twenty thousand children, already computed, twenty thousand flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed* will make admirable
may be reserved for breed, whereof only one fourth part to be males, gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.
which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle, or swine; and my As to our city of Dublin, shanbles** may be appointed for this purpose
reason is that these children are seldom the fuits of marriage, a circum- in the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will
stance not much reagarded by our savages, therefore one male will be not be wanting; although I rather recommend buying the children alive,
sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand and dressing them hot from the knife as we do roasting pigs.
may at a year old be offered in sale to the persons of quality and fortune A very worthy person, a true lover of his courntry, and whose virtues I
through the kingdom, always advising the mother to let them suck plen- highly esteem, was lately pleased in discoursing on this matter to offer a
tifully in the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good refinement upon my scheme. He said that many gentlemen of this king-
table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and dom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want of
when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reason- venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and maidens,
able dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boilded not exceeding fourteen years of age nor under twelve, so great a number of
on the fourth day, especially in winter. both sexes in every county being now ready to starve for want of work and
I have reckoned upon a medium that a child just born will weigh twelve service; and these to be disposed of by their parents, if alive, or otherwise
pounds, and a solar year if tolerably nursed increaseth to twenty-eight by their nearest relations. But with due deference to so excellent a friend
pounds. and so deserving a patriot, I cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as
I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for to the males, my American acquainteance assured me from frequent expe-
landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem rience that their flesh was generally tough and lean, like that of our school-
to have the best title to the children. boys, by continiual exercise, and their taste disagreeable; and to fatten
Infant’s flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful them would not answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I
in March, and a little before and after. For we are told by a grave author, think with humble submission, be a loss to the public, because they soon
an eminent French physician [François Rabelais], that fish being a prolific
* well made.
* highly seasoned meat stew ** slaughterhouses.
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Jonathan Swift A Modest Proposal
would become breeders themselves: and besides, it is not improbable that home on purpose to deliver the kingdom to the Pretender*, hoping to
some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice (although take their advantage by the absence of so many good Protestants, who
indeed very unjustly) as a little bordering upon cruelty; which, I confess, have chosen rather to leave their country than stay at home and pay tithes
hath always been with me the strongest objection against any project, how against their conscience to an Episcopal curate.
well soever intended. Secondly, the poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own,
But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was which by law may be made liable to distress [legal action taken by seizing
put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar*, a native of the island property for debts], and help to pay their landlord’s rent, their corn and
Formosa, who cme from thence to London above twenty years ago, and in cattle being already seized and money a thing unknown.
conversation told my friend that in his country when any young person Thirdly, whereas the maintenance of an hundred thousand children,
happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass to persons of from two years old and upwards, cannot be computed at less than ten
quality as a prime dainty; and that in his time the body of a plump girl of shillings a piece per annum, the nation’s stock will be thereby increased
fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison the emperor, was sold fifty thousand pounds per annum, besides the profit of a new dish intro-
to his Imperial Majesty’s prime minister of state, and other great manda- duced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom who have
rins of the court, in joints from the gibbet, at four hundred crowns. Nei- any refinement in taste. And the money will circulate among ourselves,
ther indeed can I deny tht if the same use were made of several plump the goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture.
young girls in this town, who without a chair, and appear at the playhouse Fourthly, the constant breeders, besides the gain of eight shillings ster-
and assemblies in foreign fineries which they never will pay for, the king- ling per annum by the sale of their children, will be rid of the charge of
dom would not be worse. maintaining them after the first year.
Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast Fifthly, this food would likewise bring great custom to taverns, where
number of poor people who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and I have the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for
been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken to ease the dressing it to perfection, and consequently have their houses frequented
nation of so grievous an encumbrance. But I am not in the least pain by all the fine gentlemen, who justly value themselves upon their knowl-
upon that matter, because it is very well known tht they are every day edge in good eating; and a skillful cook, who understands how to oblige
dying and rotting by cold and famine, and filth and vermin, as fast as can his guests, will contrive to make it as expensive as they please.
be reasonably expected. And as to the younger laborers, they are now in Sixthly, this would be a great inducement to marriage, which all wise
almost as hopeful a condition. They cannot get work, and consequently nations have either encouraged by rewards or enforced by laws and penal-
pine away for want of nourishment to a degree that if at any time they are ties. It would increase the care and tenderness of mothers toward their
accidentlally hired to common labor, they have not strength to perform it; children, when they were sure of a settlement for life to the poor babes,
and thus the country and themselves are happily delivered fromt he evils provided in some sort by thepublic, to their annual profit instead of ex-
to come. pense. We should see an honest emulation among the married women,
I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I which of them could bring the fattest child to the market. Men would
think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and become as fond of their wives during the time of their pregnancy as they
many, as well as of the highest importance. are now of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, or sows when they are
For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the number ready to farrow; nor offer to beat or kick them (as is too frequent a prac-
of Papists, with whom we are yearly overrun, being the principal breeders tice) for fear of a miscarriage.
of the nation as well as our most dangerous enemies; and who stay at Many other advantages might be enumerated. For instance, the addi-
tion of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barreled beef, the
propagation of swine’s flesh, and improvement in the art of making good
* famous imposter, who convinced a number of church leaders, noblemen
and scientist that he was from Formosa; wrote a fictitious account of
Formosa describing human sacrifice and cannibalism. * James II’s son.
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Jonathan Swift A Modest Proposal
bacon, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, too Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like expedi-
frequent at our tables, which are no way comparable in taste or magnifi- ents, till he hath at least some glimpse of hope that there will ever be some
cence to a well-grown, fat, yearling child, which roasted whole will make hearty and sincere attempt to put them in practice.
a considerable figure at a lord mayor’s feast or any other public entertain- But as to myself, having been wearied out for many years with offering
ment. But this and many others I omit, being studious of brevity. vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at legnth utterly despairing of success,
Supposing that one thousand families in this city would be constant I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which, as it is wholly new, so it hath
customers for infants’ flesh, besides others who might have it at merry something solid and real, of no expense and little trouble, full in our own
meetings, particularly weddings and christenings, I compute that Dublin power, and whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging England. For
would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses, and the rest of this kind of commodity will not bear exportation, the flesh being of too
the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) the tender a consistence in salt, although perhaps I could name a country
remaining eighty thousand. which would be glad to eat up our whole nation without it.
I can think of no one objection that will possibly be raised against this After all, i am not so violently bent upon my own opinion as to reject
proposal, unless it should be urged that the number of people will be any offer proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent,
thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and it was cheap, easy, and effectual. But before somehting of that kind shall be ad-
indeed one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the reader vanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire the
will observe, that I calculate my remedy for this one individual kingdom author or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. First, as
of Ireland and for no other that ever was, is, or I think ever can be upon things now stand, how they will be able to find food and raiment for an
earth. Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: of taxing our hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, there being a
absentees at five shillings a pound: of using neither clothes nor household round million of creatures in human figure throughout this kingdom,
furniture except what is of our own growth and manufacture: of utterly whose sole subsistence put into a common stock would leave them in debt
rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign luxury: of two millions of pounds sterling, adding those who are beggars by profes-
curing the expensiveness of pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our sion to the bulk of farmers, cottagers, and laborers, with their wives and
women: of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence, and temperance: children who are beggars in effect; I desire those politicians who dislike
of learning to love our country, in the want of which we differ even from my overture, and may perhaps be so bold to attempt an answer, that they
Laplanders and the inhabitants of Topinamboo: of quitting our animosi- will first ask the parents of these mortals whether they would not at this
ties and factions, nor acting any longer like the Jews, who were murdering day think it a great happiness to have been sold for food at a year old in
one another at the very moment their city was taken*: of being a little the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene
cautious not to sell our country and conscience for nothing: of teaching of misfortunes as they have since gone through by the oppression of land-
landlords to have at least one degree of mercy toward their teneants: lastly, lords, the common sustenance, with neither house nor clothes to cover
of putting a spirit of honesty, industry, and skill into our shopkeepers; them from the inclemencies of the weather, and the most inevitable pros-
who, if a resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, pect of entailing the like or greater miseries upon their breed forever.
would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price, the I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal
neasure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other
proposal of just dealing, though often and ernestly invited to it.** motive than the public good of my country, by giving some pleasure to
the rich. I have no children by which I can propose to get a single penny;
the youngest being nine years old, and my wife past childbearing.
* reference to the Roman seige of Jerusalem in 70 A.D., during which
time the city was torn between factions fighting for control; reflects the
general antiSemitism in Europe during Swift’s time.
** Swift made all of these proposals in serious pamphlets during his life-
time.
11 12
Jonathan Swift The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers
bent his studies that way, may be excused for thinking so, when he sees in
how wretched a manner that noble art is treated by a few mean illiterate
traders between us and the stars; who import a yearly stock of nonsense,
lyes, folly, and impertinence, which they offer to the world as genuine
from the planets, tho’ they descend from no greater a height than their
own brains.
The Bickerstaff- I intend in a short time to publish a large and rational defence of this art,
and therefore shall say no more in its justification at present, than that it
hath been in all ages defended by many learned men, and among the rest by
Partridge Papers Socrates himself, whom I look upon as undoubtedly the wisest of uninspir’d
mortals: To which if we add, that those who have condemned this art, though
oth erwise learned, having been such as either did not apply their studies
this way, or at least did not succeed in their applications; their testimony
by will not be of much weight to its disadvantage, since they are liable to the
common objection of condemning what they did not understand.
Nor am I at all offended, or think it an injury to the art, when I see the
Jonathan Swift common dealers in it, the students in astrology, the philomaths, and the rest
of that tribe, treated by wise men with the utmost scorn and contempt; but
rather wonder, when I observe gentlemen in the country, rich enough to
Jonathan Swift, et al.
serve the nation in parliament, poring in Partridge’s almanack, to find out
The Bickerstaff-Partridge the events of the year at home and abroad; not daring to propose a hunting-
Papers, etc. match, till Gadbury or he have fixed the weather.
Annus Mirabilis I will allow either of the two I have mentioned, or any other of the
fraternity, to be not only astrologers, but conjurers too, if I do not pro-
duce a hundred instances in all their almanacks, to convince any reason-
PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR 1708
able man, that they do not so much as understand common grammar and
syntax; that they are not able to spell any word out of the usual road, nor
Wherein the month, and day of the month are set down, the persons
even in their prefaces write common sense or intelligible English. Then
named, and the great actions and events of next year particularly related,
for their observations and predictions, they are such as will equally suit
as will come to pass.
any age or country in the world. “This month a certain great person will
Written to prevent the people of England from being farther imposed
be threatened with death or sickness.” This the news-papers will tell them;
on by vulgar almanack- makers.
for there we find at the end of the year, that no month passes without the
death of some person of note; and it would be hard if it should be other-
By Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.
wise, when there are at least two thousand persons of not in this kingdom,
many of them old, and the almanack-maker has the liberty of chusing the
I HAVE LONG consider’d the gross abuse of astrology in this kingdom, and
sickliest season of the year where he may fix his prediction.
upon debating the matter with myself, I could not possibly lay the fault
Again, “This month an eminent clergyman will be preferr’d;” of which
upon the art, but upon those gross impostors, who set up to be the artists.
there may be some hundreds half of them with one foot in the grave.
I know several learned men have contended that the whole is a cheat; that
Then “such a planet in such a house shews great machinations, plots and
it is absurd and ridiculous to imagine, the stars can have any influence at
conspiracies, that may in time be brought to light:” After which, if we
all upon human actions, thoughts, or inclinations: And whoever has not
13 14
Jonathan Swift The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers
hear of any discovery, the astrologer gets the honour; if not, his prediction world; I have set my name at length, to be a mark of infamy to mankind,
still stands good. And at last, “God preserve King William from all his if they shall find I deceive them.
open and secret enemies, Amen.” When if the King should happen to In one thing I must desire to be forgiven, that I talk more sparingly of
have died, the astrologer plainly foretold it; otherwise it passes but for the home-affairs: As it will be imprudence to discover secrets of state, so it
pious ejaculation of a loyal subject: Though it unluckily happen’d in some would be dangerous to my person; but in smaller matters, and that are not
of their almanacks, that poor King William was pray’d for many months of publick consequence, I shall be very free; and the truth of my conjec-
after he was dead, because it fell out that he died about the beginning of tures will as much appear from those as the other. As for the most signal
the year. events abroad in France, Flanders, Italy and Spain, I shall make no scruple
To mention no more of their impertinent predictions: What have we to to predict them in plain terms: Some of them are of importance, and I
do with their advertisements about pills and drink for the venereal dis- hope I shall seldom mistake the day they will happen; therefore, I think
ease? Or their mutual quarrels in verse and prose of Whig and Tory, where- good to inform the reader, that I all along make use of the Old Style
with the stars have little to do? observed in England, which I desire he will compare with that of the
Having long observed and lamented these, and a hundred other abuses news-papers, at the time they relate the actions I mention.
of this art, too tedious to repeat, I resolved to proceed in a new way, which I must add one word more: I know it hath been the opinion of several
I doubt not will be to the general satisfaction of the kingdom: I can this of the learned, who think well enough of the true art of astrology, That the
year produce but a specimen of what I design for the future; having stars do only incline, and not force the actions or wills of men: And there-
employ’d most part of my time in adjusting and correcting the calcula- fore, however I may proceed by right rules, yet I cannot in prudence so
tions I made some years past, because I would offer nothing to the world confidently assure the events will follow exactly as I predict them.
of which I am not as fully satisfied, as that I am now alive. For these two I hope I have maturely considered this objection, which in some cases
last years I have not failed in above one or two particulars, and those of no is of no little weight. For example: A man may, by the influence of an
very great moment. I exactly foretold the miscarriage at Toulon, with all over-ruling planet, be disposed or inclined to lust, rage, or avarice, and yet
its particulars; and the loss of Admiral Shovel, tho’ I was mistaken as to by the force of reason overcome that bad influence; and this was the case
the day, placing that accident about thirty-six hours sooner than it happen’d; of Socrates: But as the great events of the world usually depend upon
but upon reviewing my schemes, I quickly found the cause of that error. I numbers of men, it cannot be expected they should all unite to cross their
likewise foretold the Battle of Almanza to the very day and hour, with the inclinations, from pursuing a general design, wherein they unanimously
loss on both sides, and the consequences thereof. All which I shewed to agree. Besides the influence of the stars reaches to many actions and events
some friends many months before they happened, that is, I gave them which are not any way in the power of reason; as sickness, death, and what
papers sealed up, to open at such a time, after which they were at liberty to we commonly call accidents, with many more, needless to repeat.
read them; and there they found my predictions true in every article, ex- But now it is time to proceed to my predictions, which I have begun to
cept one or two, very minute. calculate from the time that the Sun enters into Aries. And this I take to
As for the few following predictions I now offer the world, I forbore to be properly the beginning of the natural year. I pursue them to the time
publish them till I had perused the several almanacks for the year we are that he enters Libra, or somewhat more, which is the busy period of the
now enter’d on. I find them in all the usual strain, and I beg the reader will year. The remainder I have not yet adjusted, upon account of several im-
compare their manner with mine: And here I make bold to tell the world, pediments needless here to mention: Besides, I must remind the reader
that I lay the whole credit of my art upon the truth of these predictions; again, that this is but a specimen of what I design in succeeding years to
and I will be content, that Partridge, and the rest of his clan, may hoot me treat more at large, if I may have liberty and encouragement.
for a cheat and impostor, if I fail in any singular particular of moment. I My first prediction is but a trifle, yet I will mention it, to show how
believe, any man who reads this paper, will look upon me to be at least a ignorant those sottish pretenders to astrology are in their own concerns: It
person of as much honesty and understanding, as a common maker of relates to Partridge the almanack-maker; I have consulted the stars of his
almanacks. I do not lurk in the dark; I am not wholly unknown in the nativity by my own rules, and find he will infallibly die upon the 29th of
15 16
Jonathan Swift The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers
March next, about eleven at night, of a raging fever; therefore I advise him the impostor to all the world; in this point less prudent than common
to consider of it, and settle his affairs in time. almanack-makers, who are so wise to wonder in generals, and talk dubi-
The month of April will be observable for the death of many great ously, and leave to the reader the business of interpreting.
persons. On the 4th will die the Cardinal de Noailles, Archbishop of Paris: On the 1st of this month a French general will be killed by a random
On the 11th the young Prince of Asturias, son to the Duke of Anjou: On shot of a cannon-ball.
the 14th a great peer of this realm will die at his country-house: On the On the 6th a fire will break out in the suburbs of Paris, which will
19th an old layman of great fame for learning: and on the 23rd an emi- destroy above a thousand houses; and seems to be the foreboding of what
nent goldsmith in Lombard-Street. I could mention others, both at home will happen, to the surprize of all Europe, about the end of the following
and abroad, if I did not consider it is of very little use or instruction to the month.
reader, or to the world. On the 10th a great battle will be fought, which will begin at four of
As to publick affairs: On the 7th of this month there will be an insur- the clock in the afternoon; and last till nine at night with great obstinacy,
rection in Dauphine, occasion’d by the oppressions of the people, which but no very decisive event. I shall not name the place, for the reasons
will not be quieted in some months. aforesaid; but the commanders on each left wing will be killed. – I see
On the 15th will be a violent storm on the south-east coast of France, bonfires, and hear the noise of guns for a victory.
which will destroy many of their ships, and some in the very harbour. On the 14th there will be a false report of the French king’s death.
The 19th will be famous for the revolt of a whole province or kingdom, On the 20th Cardinal Portocarero will die of a dysentery, with great
excepting one city, by which the affairs of a certain prince in the alliance suspicion of poison; but the report of his intention to revolt to King Charles,
will take a better face. will prove false.
May, against common conjectures, will be no very busy month in Eu- July. The 6th of this month a certain general will, by a glorious action,
rope, but very signal for the death of the Dauphin, which will happen on recover the reputation he lost by former misfortunes.
the 7th, after a short fit of sickness, and grievous torments with the stran- On the 12th a great commander will die a prisoner in the hands of his
gury. He dies less lamented by the court than the kingdom. enemies.
On the 9th a Mareschal of France will break his leg by a fall from his On the 14th a shameful discovery will be made of a French Jesuit,
horse. I have not been able to discover whether he will then die or not. giving poison to a great foreign general; and when he is put to the torture,
On the 11th will begin a most important siege, which the eyes of all will make wonderful discoveries.
Europe will be upon: I cannot be more particular: for in relating affairs In short this will prove a month of great action, if I might have liberty
that so nearly concern the Confederates, and consequently this Kingdom, to relate the particulars.
I am forced to confine myself, for several reasons very obvious to the reader. At home, the death of an old famous senator will happen on the 15th
On the 15th news will arrive of a very surprizing event, than which at his country-house, worn with age and diseases.
nothing could be more unexpected. But that which will make this month memorable to all posterity, is the
On the 19th three noble ladies of this Kingdom will, against all expecta- death of the French King, Lewis the fourteenth, after a week’s sickness at
tion, prove with child, to the great joy of their husbands. Marli, which will happen on the 29th, about six o’clock in the evening. It
On the 23rd a famous buffoon of the play-house will die a ridiculous seems to be an effect of the gout in his stomach, followed by a flux. And in
death, suitable to his vocation. three days after Monsieur Chamillard will follow his master, dying sud-
June. This month will be distinguish’d at home, by the utter dispersing denly of an appoplexy.
of those ridiculous deluded enthusiasts, commonly call’d the Prophets; In this month likewise an ambassador will die in London; but I cannot
occasion’d chiefly by seeing the time come that many of their prophecies assign the day.
should be fulfill’d, and then finding themselves deceiv’d by contrary events. August. The affairs of France will seem to suffer no change for a while
It is indeed to be admir’d how any deceiver can be so weak, to foretel under the Duke of Burgundy’s administration; but the genius that ani-
things near at hand, when a very few months must of necessity discover mated the whole machine being gone, will be the cause of mighty turns
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Jonathan Swift The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers
and revolutions in the following year. The new King makes yet little change campaign for the allies, wherein the English forces, both by sea and land,
either in the army or the ministry; but the libels against his grandfather, will have their full share of honour: That her Majesty Queen Anne will
that fly about his very court, give him uneasiness. continue in health and prosperity: And that no ill accident will arrive to
I see an express in mighty haste, with joy and wonder in his looks, any of the chief ministry.
arriving by break of day on the 26th of this month, having travell’d in As to the particular events I have mention’d, the readers may judge by
three days a prodigious journey by land and sea. In the evening I hear bells the fulfilling of ‘em, whether I am on the level with common astrologers;
and guns, and see the blazing of a thousand bonfires. who, with an old paultry cant, and a few pothook for planets, to amuse
A young admiral of noble birth, does likewise this month gain immor- the vulgar, have, in my opinion, too long been suffer’d to abuse the world:
tal honour by a great achievement. But an honest physician ought not to be despis’d, because there are such
The affairs of Poland are this month entirely settled: Augustus resigns things as mountebanks. I hope I have some share of reputation, which I
his pretensions which he had again taken up for some time: Stanislaus is would not willingly forfeit for a frolick or humour: And I believe no gentle-
peaceably possess’d of the throne; and the King of Sweden declares for the man, who reads this paper, will look upon it to be of the same cast or
Emperor. mould with the common scribblers that are every day hawk’d about. My
I cannot omit one particular accident here at home; that near the end fortune has placed me above the little regard of scribbling for a few pence,
of this month much mischief will be done at Bartholomew Fair, by the fall which I neither value or want: Therefore let no wise men too hastily con-
of a booth. demn this essay, intended for a good design, to cultivate and improve an
September. This month begins with a very surprizing fit of frosty weather, ancient art, long in disgrace, by having fallen into mean and unskilful
which will last near twelve days. hands. A little time will determine whether I have deceived others or my-
The Pope having long languish’d last month, the swellings in his legs self: and I think it is no very unreasonable request, that men would please
breaking, and the flesh mortifying, will die on the 11th instant; and in to suspend their judgments till then. I was once of the opinion with those
three weeks time, after a mighty contest, be succeeded by a cardinal of the who despise all predictions from the stars, till the year 1686, a man of
imperial faction, but native of Tuscany, who is now about sixty-one years quality shew’d me, written in his album, That the most learned astrono-
old. mer, Captain H. assured him, he would never believe any thing of the
The French army acts now wholly on the defensive, strongly fortify’d in stars’ influence, if there were not a great revolution in England in the year
their trenches; and the young French King sends overtures for a treaty of 1688. Since that time I began to have other thoughts, and after eighteen
peace by the Duke of Mantua; which, because it is a matter of state that years diligent study and application, I think I have no reason to repent of
concerns us here at home, I shall speak no farther of it. my pains. I shall detain the reader no longer, than to let him know, that
I shall add but one prediction more, and that in mystical terms, which the account I design to give of next year’s events, shall take in the principal
shall be included in a verse out of Virgil, affairs that happen in Europe; and if I be denied the liberty of offering it
Alter erit jam Tethys, & altera quae vehat Argo. Delectos heroas. to my own country, I shall appeal to the learned world, by publishing it in
Upon the 25th day of this month, the fulfilling of this prediction will Latin, and giving order to have it printed in Holland.
be manifest to every body.
This is the farthest I have proceeded in my calculations for the present
year. I do not pretend, that these are all the great events which will happen
in this period, but that those I have set down will infallibly come to pass.
It will perhaps still be objected, why I have not spoke more particularly of
affairs at home, or of the success of our armies abroad, which I might, and
could very largely have done; but those in power have wisely discouraged
men from meddling in publick concerns, and I was resolv’d by no means
to give the least offence. This I will venture to say, That it will be a glorious
19 20