Sink or Swim-Andy Cowle
Sink or Swim-Andy Cowle
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CHAPTER ONE
On board the Parvina
Leaning on the rail at the stern of the cruise ship Parvina,
sipping his champagne, Eddie Munro looked out across the
water and into the darkness. There was a warm, gentle breeze,
and the sea was calm except for the dizzy trail of water churned
up by the ship's angry propellers. It was a beautiful evening and
there was no one else on deck. Eddie liked it that way.
He looked down at his watch, which showed 10.31 p.m.,
and the ship was already half a mile from the harbour. He was
amazed that such a huge cruise ship could move so fast - he
was amazed it stayed afloat at all! He watched St Thomas
island getting further and further away. He stared at the
silhouette of the island, at its faint black shapes of hills rising
up into the night sky. Eddie smiled to himself as he noticed he
could no longer see where the lights ended and the stars began.
He finished his champagne and, for good luck, threw the
glass far out into the sea. He never heard it drop. He couldn't
see much at all in the warm Caribbean darkness, but he noticed
for the first time how high up he was. The sea was a long, long
way down, he thought.
At this point his wife, Lynn, came out looking for him,
wearing her long black evening dress and the silk purple scarf
she had bought on the excursion earlier in the day. Her hair was
dark and short with plum-coloured highlights.
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"The fish might like it. It's probably quite boring being a
fish. The sudden arrival of a champagne glass might brighten
up your life."
"Or end it," she said.
"It's fun," said Eddie. "You should try it."
"I think I've had enough champagne," his wife said.
"I love the way the glass disappears the minute it leaves
my hand, and the sea eats it up. You can't see it falling and you
can't hear it hit the water. But you know it's landed, dived in
and sunk to the bottom. Imagine - a tiny glass holding a giant
ocean."
"You think too much," she said, moving away and pulling
him with her. "Why don't you come back inside? They're
serving coffee and I think there's going to be some jazz."
"All right," he said. "Just a few more minutes."
"We have two more weeks on this cruise, Eddie. You have
plenty of time to take it all in."
"It's incredible, though, isn't it? So beautiful. It's perfect."
Lynn laughed. "It's completely black. I can't see anything
in the dark."
"I know. But it's all out there. The blue sea, the white
sand, the palm trees, the boats..."
"The champagne glasses..."
"Very funny," said Eddie. Then he pointed to the horizon.
"Look over there at the dots of light. Do you think they're lights
on the island or stars?"
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Lynn looked hard into the night and gave it some thought.
"Erm... lights."
"But you're not sure."
"I am sure. I'm always sure."
"Hmm," he said. "How is that?"
"Because I'm always right," she said, smiling.
"Oh really?"
"Of course. I was right about setting up your own
business, wasn't I?"
"Yes."
"And I was right about selling the business off this year
for twenty million - only sixteen years after starting."
"Possibly," he teased. He wouldn't give in so easily.
"And I was right to let you take me on this cruise to relax
and celebrate in style."
"Oh, I see. How generous."
"Just think. You don't have to work ever again. You're a
millionaire, Mr Edward Munro. How does that sound?"
"Lucky me," he said proudly.
"Yes, lucky you. Lucky us. Now come inside before we
lose all our money paying for missing champagne glasses."
Back inside, the dining room was full of people. It was
hot, but the lighting made it welcoming and comfortable. In the
time Eddie had been outside, a space had been cleared for
dancing and a few couples were already on their feet. In the
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CHAPTER TWO
Argument with Dominic
"You know your problem, Eddie?" said Dominic
Stephens in his office. "You're too hands-on." He leaned back
in his large, leather chair behind his glass desk. He seldom
made eye contact. His shoulders looked tense and his neck was
hidden.
"I don't understand," said Eddie. "How can that be a
problem? The team really appreciates my style and the
customers love it. It's what I do best. It's why I was brought
here in the first place."
"Oh, really?" said Dominic, clearly unimpressed.
"I know for a fact that Ann and Gary didn't want an
executive to run things. They wanted someone with practical
experience, and drive - and lots of it. They said dull and
uninspiring executives and managers have come and gone and
there's been no direction, no feeling for the business. No
passion."
"And you have passion?" said Dominic.
"Yes. Do you?"
"This isn't about me, Eddie. It's about you, and it takes
more than passion to do this job. You need to be a leader."
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of the office for ten minutes, just to calm down. He would have
a coffee. Or call Lynn. Come on, Ed, he told himself. Get
things in perspective. It's only a job.
He was almost at reception and the main door, when
Clive passed him on the way to the photocopier. "Ed, what's
wrong?" he asked, stopping in the corridor.
Eddie couldn't speak. He was afraid to say anything, as he
didn't know what might come out. His face was red and tears
were stinging his eyes. He looked down, ignored Clive and
walked out of the door into the street and towards the local
cafe.
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CHAPTER THREE
Someone from the past
"You all right, Eddie?" asked Lynn, who had noticed
Eddie staring at the bar. Eddie took a moment and then said,
"Yes, fine. Why?" But he was still lost in thought. He wasn't
sure if the ship was moving or if he was dizzy.
"You look so serious. Come on, let's dance."
He was still staring at the bar. The man was still there. It
was Dominic. Sitting at the bar barely fifty meters away,
drinking and smoking. As simple as that. Was the world so
small? thought Eddie. Couldn't it be a bit bigger? Why here?
Why now? After all this time. Why on this ship? A familiar
sickness in his stomach returned.
"Well, don't get too excited, will you?" Eddie heard his
wife say.
"Sorry?" he said, turning his attention to Lynn.
"A dance! Can we dance?" Lynn said impatiently.
"Yes, sure. Sorry."
They both got up and walked to the dance floor. They
held each other and danced slowly for the final verse of yet
another song whose name Eddie couldn't remember.
Turning in the dance, Eddie was pleased that Lynn was
there with him as he tried to take in the fact that he was now
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The ship was big enough. Dominic and Eddie both looked
older and Dominic probably wouldn't even remember him, so
why worry about it?
But all the old feelings were there again, and Eddie could
sense his energy slipping away just thinking about it. It showed
on his face and Lynn could see it. Eddie could never hide much
from his wife, and before he knew it he found himself
weakening.
"It's Dominic. He's on the ship." It sounded so strange to
Eddie to even say those words.
There was a pause.
Lynn looked more closely at her husband.
"What?" said Lynn quietly. "Dominic Stephens? You're
kidding."
"I'm not kidding, Lynn. I wish I was," said Eddie.
"I haven't heard that name in a long time."
"Well, he's here."
"How do you know he's here?"
"I saw him. He was sitting at the bar this evening when
we came in from the deck."
"Eddie, we were sitting on the other side of the dining
room - you could hardly see anything. How can you be sure it
was him?"
"Oh, I'm sure, Lynn. No mistake. The same fat, lazy
bloke. But less hair now. And grey. And fatter."
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CHAPTER FOUR
After the argument
Eddie sat in a cafe not far from the office, dipping his
teaspoon into a large cappuccino, and tried to think of what he
could do about his job. He could leave, but that would mean
giving in and letting Dominic have exactly what he wanted.
Besides, it would take several months, possibly a year, to find
another good job, and he would still have to put up with him in
the meantime. He could officially complain about Dominic's
behavior. He had a strong case. But that would only make
things worse. Somehow Dominic had Gary, the CEO, on his
side. And Ann Blake, the Financial Director, would never
support getting rid of Dominic, since she had hired him in the
first place.
"He's unbelievable. He actually said I was too hands-on,"
said Eddie, stabbing at his drink with his spoon.
"Really?" said Clive, who had left the office and found
Eddie sitting in the cafe.
"Yes. He also said I wasn't a leader and that Moscow was
his deal."
"You're joking," said Clive. He seemed genuinely
surprised. "That deal was yours. Everyone knows that."
"Then he said my communication wasn't good enough."
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"Yeah, and by the time they find out they have to pay him
a year's salary, and then he gets another job."
"That's his skill, though. He talks well to the top guys.
But the real people don't respect him. I spoke to someone at
Gallagher's the other week, where Dominic worked for about
two years. They said the same thing."
"Do you think he has any idea what people really think
and say about him?"
"No, I don't think he does. He's so superior in his own
mind he probably thinks we're all losers."
"But he knows I'm good. He knows you're good too, and
that really irritates him, because we know this job and he
doesn't. He just moves tasks and people around all day and
calls it strategy."
"I know," said Clive.
They both stared out of the window.
"Did you hear what he said to Steve the other day?" asked
Clive. "No, what?"
"'Dominic told Steve that he got the top job because Ann
and Gary saw him as a wise ambassador.'"
"Wise? Ambassador? Ambassador for what?"
"Who knows? He's in his own dream world."
"Did he really say that?"
"Yes. And when Steve questioned it, Dominic then said
he was older than anyone else anyway."
"Unbelievable."
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"Who knows what he thinks? He's not like us. I think that
scares him."
"Where do these people come from?"
"I don't know, mate, but they soon move on. We just have
to hold on. Look on the bright side - it couldn't get any worse."
But Eddie wasn't so sure. Eddie had the feeling that
things were going to get a lot worse.
And he was right.
Back at home, Eddie spent the evening trying to catch up
on the work he'd missed that afternoon, and looking at the
many emails he had sent Dominic. It was a nightmare.
Again and again he considered walking away from the
job, but it hurt him more simply to give up. Besides, he was
enjoying the Moscow project, and he had done so much work
for it. When he was in Moscow, he could get on with things.
He loved Russia and he loved the people there. It was such a
different world from the UK; and the owners of Zariya, Dima
and Tatiana, always made him feel so welcome. Over time
Eddie had had to explain to them some of the difficulties back
in London, and they had been very helpful. Eddie was reading
one of Dima's emails and smiling again when Lynn walked into
the room.
"Will you be much longer?" asked Lynn.
"Maybe. I'm behind on some deadlines, and today's battle
with Dominic didn't help."
"Just leave it now, Ed. Come to bed," said Lynn.
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"Why?"
"Oh, well, during our useless meeting today, he brought
up that old story about being 25,000 pounds over budget, when
everyone knows he fixed the numbers. Somehow he gets his
bonuses and puts any blame on me. I'm almost certain now that
he wants me out, Lynn."
"Surely not. He needs you. If it weren't for you, good
people would have left ages ago. Besides, who else could move
Russia along?"
"Oh, don't mention Russia."
"Why? That's your big success story."
"Oh, he keeps going on about the fact that he won the
Moscow contract, not me."
"What? That's just not true."
"I know."
"What about Ann and Gary? Can't you talk to them about
all this?"
"They've changed, Lynn. I've hardly seen them since the
new partners came in. Besides, Gary and Dominic are always
playing golf at the weekends. Ann's OK still, but she's very
political, and I think she's embarrassed that Dominic's upsetting
everyone. After all, she was the one who recruited him."
'And Human Resources? Can't you report him to them?"
"What do I tell them? That he's got the people skills of a
goat!"
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"Well, that's one thing. And the intimidation, the lies and
the..." It's very hard to prove, Lynn. He's got his back covered,
and they would only report the whole thing to Ann and Gary.
And then what?"
"Well, presumably they tell Dominic and you all get
together and sort it out."
"Easy, really. Why didn't I think of that?"
"You know what I mean, Eddie. There's no need to be
sarcastic. I'm only trying to help. I hate it when you're like
this."
"Well, you're not living in the real world, are you, Lynn?
You're a Primary school teacher, for goodness' sake. If things
go wrong, you all get into a circle and sing a song about it. Or
draw a picture. It's not that simple when you're in a multi-
million pound business and..."
But Lynn had heard enough.
She was already leaving the room. Eddie stared back at
the open screen on his laptop at hundreds and hundreds of
emails. He thought about how much more he had to do before
he could go to bed, about the hurt he had caused Lynn and
about the injustice of Dominic and of people like him.
Eddie slammed down the laptop lid.
The job was broken, the evening was broken, and now his
relationship was broken.
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CHAPTER FIVE
Eddie's dream
Although the sea was calm, Eddie didn't sleep well. He
had a dream that seemed to last all night.
It began with him lying in bed in the cabin of the ship,
and waking up to find himself in his old bedroom from his
childhood. But the bedroom was on the ship. He sat up in the
top bunk of some familiar bunk beds. In the bottom bunk
should have been his sister Ellen, but he knew his wife was the
occupant now. The bottom bunk was empty, however, and he
saw water coming in quietly but rapidly under the door.
In his dream, he jumped out of his bunk and straight into
half a meter of water. It was ice-cold and Eddie gasped in
shock. He was wearing a grey suit and black shoes, but no
socks, shirt or tie. With his feet already going numb in the cold
water, he opened the small wardrobe to look for them and
found a public telephone. Business cards were stuck all over
the wall. He noticed his own from years ago with the familiar
Fentons logo. But his details were in Russian.
His stomach was tight.
His head ached.
In his dreaming mind, a thousand tasks and deadlines
seemed to weigh upon his shoulders.
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But Clive didn't hear him. He, too, was struggling with
the strong current of water dragging him down and away at the
far end of the corridor.
"CLIVE!" shouted Eddie in his sleep.
Opposite Eddie in the dream was a metal ladder which
went up to the next level of the ship through a small hole. It
was big enough for him to get through. This ladder led to
another ladder and another hole. And another. And another.
Ladders stretched all the way in a giant tunnel leading upwards.
Eddie climbed and climbed. He could hear the laughter getting
louder, so he decided to follow the sound.
When he reached the top, he suddenly found himself on
the ship's funnel. It was dark, and a strong sea wind took his
breath away. He was scared and excited at the same time. He
thought the funnel would be hot, but it was not. It was at an
angle, and he was looking up into the sky, almost touching the
stars themselves.
"They're stars, Lynn. Not lights. You were wrong," he
shouted again (in reality, his shouting woke Lynn up).
Then he looked around and saw that the front part of the
ship was already underwater and the ship was sinking.
"Lynn!" he shouted. This time it was a scream. That was
when he slipped and fell and, in his sleep, flung out his arms to
save himself. But there was no impact. Instead he was now
standing on the bridge of the ship, which was full of people
from work - from his days at Fenton's. People he hadn't thought
of in all this time. People he thought he'd never remember
again. People he certainly didn't want to see again.
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Ann and Gary were there, but they were behind Dominic,
who stood by the wheel in his captain's uniform staring at him.
He was older now and heavier. The way Eddie had seen him at
the bar.
"Glad you could join us. We're only sinking, you know!"
"What's going on?" said Eddie, looking around. The jazz
band was playing in the corner, but the female singer was not
the girl he had seen earlier. Instead it was Lynn. Singing a song
whose name escaped him.
"Lynn?"
She didn't look at him. She was looking away and
singing.
"LYNN! What are you doing here?" shouted Eddie,
confused and frightened.
"I'm the captain. What does it look like?" said Dominic.
"No. Not you. Lynn. What's she doing here?" She wasn't
paying him any attention.
More and more people were coming on to the bridge. He
saw Dima and Tatiana. They spoke in Russian. Eddie couldn't
hear them over the laughter of the crowd.
"Ssh. I can't hear what they're saying. And I can't
remember the name of the song."
"Never mind that, Eddie. We've got more important
things to do."
"What?"
Laughter.
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CHAPTER SIX
Another bad meeting
The next morning Eddie woke early and his mind was
racing. The house was quiet and there was little traffic outside.
He felt like he hadn't been to sleep at all, and he was still angry.
Lynn was still asleep. It was 5.50 a.m. He listened to the
radio for a while until he heard the news, and then he got up,
had a shower and got dressed. By 6.45 a.m. he was ready for
work and quickly said goodbye to Lynn before walking to the
station to get the train into central London.
The train was full, but Eddie managed to get a seat by the
window. It was a fast train with only a couple of stops before
Paddington. As the train picked up speed and aimed for the
city, Eddie looked out at the fields and industrial estates
passing by. He took deep breaths and tried to calm himself
before the day started. He thought about his conference call
with Moscow at 9.30 a.m., his scheduled sales meeting at 12
noon, and a lunch appointment at 1.30 p.m. with Neal Skinner
in Production. Then he was hoping to block off a couple of
hours in the afternoon to catch up on emails and paperwork.
He got to the office at 8.15 a.m. and sat at his desk with a
double espresso and a bagel. As his PC started up, Eddie sorted
through some of his papers and wrote a quick to do list for the
day ahead. He logged on to his email and took care of a few
basic queries, before noticing that Dominic had sent a meeting
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"It's too early for IT. Why are you bothering them with
this?"
"Because we need their input on..."
"Look, Eddie. Forget IT and forget your call. Do it
tomorrow."
"I can't. It's taken ages to find a time when we can all..."
"You and I have a meeting at 10."
"What about?"
"Let's discuss that then. OK?" Dominic hung up.
Eddie glanced around and noticed Maxine looking at him.
"You OK?" she asked.
"Not really. Max, can you get hold of Dima for me and
ask if he can reschedule the call for any time this afternoon?"
"He won't like it," she said.
"I know. Tell him I'm really sorry, and tell him Dominic
has to see me at 10 a.m. Tell him I didn't have any warning.
He'll understand." Eddie tried to smile again. This smile was
more fake than the last, and Maxine could see it.
"OK," she said.
Eddie calmly got up out of his seat and walked across to
the far side of the office floor, took the lift upstairs and went
into the gents' toilet. It was empty.
He went to the sink, turned on the cold tap, collected
water in his cupped hands and splashed it on his face to freshen
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CHAPTER SEVEN
An encounter in Barbados
The Parvina docked quietly at Bridgetown, Barbados, at
7.20 a.m. Eddie and Lynn were already awake and they lay in
bed listening to the radio. At 7.30 there was a knock on the
door.
"Good morning. Breakfast," said the voice outside.
Eddie got out of bed, almost believing he would step into
cold water once more, and opened the door. A young, smiling
man brought in a large tray full of cereals, orange juice,
pastries and a cafeteria of coffee. Eddie led him through the
cabin to the balcony door, which he opened. The humid air
struck him immediately.
"Phew, it's warm. Leave the tray inside," he said to the
man. "Thanks." Eddie gave him a few dollars and the man left.
Eddie looked out across the harbour view to where blue
sea met white sand, to the houses dotted about the town, and to
the green palm trees inland. Market stalls were already being
set up near the ship, where locals could sell souvenirs and fruit
to the passengers. Eddie heard the distinctive metallic sound of
a steel band and saw five boys playing down below. He could
see at least three other ships in the harbour. Given his
nightmare, he really appreciated the fact that this was the
reality.
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"She's from the ship. She must be," he said. Jen was
almost at the pool where they were sitting.
"Yes. Not only that. She's the singer in the band!"
"Oh yes!" said Eddie, turning to meet her. She had on
wide sunglasses and a baseball cap. She wore a colourful
sarong with palm tree patterns, and her T-shirt was orange with
a black saxophone logo. She was carrying a drink in one hand
and a cigarette in the other.
"Hi, Lynn. Is this your man then?" asked Jen.
"Yes, this is Eddie. Eddie, this is Jen."
"Nice to meet you, Jen," Eddie said, shaking her hand.
"Likewise," she said. "How was the boat trip?"
"Great, thanks. They took us around some fabulous
beaches. Then we stopped and swam off the reef near an old
shipwreck."
"Cool!" said Jen.
"Some stingrays came by and we were given some food
for them."
"Oh, I'd love to do that, but I'd be terrified," said Jen.
"They're not that dangerous actually, although they can
give you a nasty bite."
"Ugh!" said Lynn.
"Or sting with their tail," added Jen.
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"Oh, I saw that in the brochure," said Lynn. "Is that the
trip where you get a private jeep and go around the island and
see the Wildlife Reserve?"
"Yes, that's it. I love all the animal trips. I can't wait.
Dominic isn't keen at all, but he says he doesn't mind as long as
he gets his golf, Typical! It's like he's married to the stupid
game. I find it so dull. He loves it, though. Do you play golf,
Eddie?"
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CHAPTER EIGHT
Eddie's departure
"So, what's your position?" asked Clive later that evening
at Eddie house. Eddie had come straight home after the
meeting and no one had been able to reach him. Clive had been
worried, and so he ha called in to see Eddie after work.
"That's what I said," replied Eddie.
"And what did he say?" asked Clive.
Lynn, clearly angry and upset, interrupted at this point to
add, "Oh Clive, listen to this..."
Eddie was trying to stay calm. He was in shock. "He
couldn't give me a straight answer. He went on and on about
budget control, an Neal's experience in Austria when he was
with Gallagher's."
"Neal doesn't do anything. And Austria is very different
from Russia. Doesn't he realize that? This project is completely
different."
"I know, Clive, I said all that. There was nothing I could
say. When I got a chance to speak, he either didn't listen or
simply interrupted. Or Neal joined in with a useless reason to
justify himself. It was pathetic to watch."
"No one at Gallagher's has a good word to say about
Neal, or the work he did in Austria. In fact, the rumor is that he
was sacked because he messed it up. That's how he got into
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"Thanks, Adam, but they don't want the best here. They
just want..." Eddie stopped for a moment and looked across the
office, deep in thought. "You know what, Adam, I have
absolutely no idea what they want." He turned and looked at
Adam. "And do you know what the worst thing is?"
"What?"
"They don't know either. My guess is they just want to be
in charge. Nothing else matters. They just want to move people
around and feel important," said Eddie, slamming a cupboard
door shut and pushing his chair away from the desk. "They
don't think about the people, their work, their customers. They
don't care about loyalty. They don't care about building a
business. They talk, have meetings and play golf, but they don't
know the business and they know they need us to make it
work."
"You know your problem," came a voice from behind
them. "You were never a corporate man, Eddie."
It was Neal. Eddie was completely taken by surprise. He
was both embarrassed and furious to see him standing there.
Adam started walking away. "Look, Ed, I'll catch you
later," he said. "Let's have a drink before you go, OK?"
"Sure," said Eddie, who decided to ignore Neal and finish
clearing his desk.
"You need the skin of a crocodile in this business, I'm
telling you." Eddie tried to ignore him and carried on throwing
away files, paper, software manuals. Everything.
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CHAPTER NINE
The fight
As Dominic Stephens came out of the hotel towards
them, Eddie froze. He looked at Lynn and her face said the
same. Before they could make an excuse to leave, Dominic was
already on the cafe terrace. His hair was grey and combed
back, and he was wearing white trousers, grey golf shoes and a
green polo shirt which was too tight for his large stomach.
It was definitely Dominic. The same hard face but now
with a dark tan, though his chin and cheeks were fuller than the
last time Eddie had seen him. He looked older and different.
"Hello, everyone. New friends, I see," he said, putting out
his hand. In a reflex action, Eddie noticed his hand go out to
shake Dominic's. He instantly felt he had betrayed himself.
Dominic's handshake had not changed: his palm at an angle,
the fingers locked tight, difficult to grip. Do Not Enter, it said.
Again, automatically, Eddie lifted his sunglasses to be
polite, but Dominic kept his on. Eddie waited for the moment
when Dominic would recognise him. But he did not. This
cannot be true, he thought. Is this really Dominic? After all this
time, am I shaking hands with him and he does not know me?
He looked at Lynn, who was shaking his hand, too. Eddie could
see that she was not comfortable either.
"Nice to meet you," she said, putting on her best smile.
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"What would his kids say if they heard him say that?"
Eddie had once asked Clive. "Why did he have kids or a family
at all if he preferred to be in an office?"
"Because these guys like to be the center of the universe,
and kids and partners take that away from them. Besides,
family life and kids are all about showing emotion, and they
find it too scary. That's why they hide behind desks and power.
Can you imagine Dominic or Neal trying to be with their kids?
They don't know how. They probably didn't know how to be
with kids when they were kids."
"That's so sad," Eddie had said.
"They are sad. They've missed the best things in life and
think money and status are enough. But they are so superior in
their own minds that they don't know it."
"So they're actually happy? Ignorance is happiness?"
"Maybe. I'm not so sure. How often do you see these guys
relax, laugh or even smile?"
"True."
"Well, there's your answer."
"Eddie?" Lynn's voice suddenly brought Eddie back to
reality. "Eddie? Are you coming?"
"Yeah. Sorry," he said. "See you guys later."
"Bye," said Jen and Dominic together.
Eddie and Lynn walked back through the hotel to the
taxis. As they went back to the port and the ship, Lynn spoke
first.
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"Well?"
"He looks older. He's still got that arrogant look. And he's
put on a lot of weight." Eddie glanced out of the window.
"Are they married, do you think? What happened to his
wife?"
"Don't know," said Eddie. "I hope she left him. For her
sake."
"I wonder what Jen is doing with a man like him, then?"
"Goodness knows. He's old enough to be her father."
The taxi moved along the harbour and passed the yachts
in the marina. Eddie was shaking his head in disbelief.
"I don't believe it, Lynn," he said. "Can you believe it?"
"No. But at least he doesn't remember you," she said,
looking at him. Eddie kept staring out of the window. "Do you
think not?" he said. "Oh, come on. It's over sixteen years, Ed. If
he had remembered you, he would have said something - don't
you think?"
"Not necessarily. You never know with him. I never knew
with him. He's a snake. A fat snake now, of course. But still a
snake."
"Maybe he's changed," said Lynn hopefully.
"I doubt it."
The taxi slowed down and stopped near the gangway for
the Parvina. They paid the driver and got out.
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Eddie was angry now. The words were not coming out
right any more.
"I've seen your wife, Eddie," Dominic said, laughing. "I
can tell you that you still need to move on."
"What does that mean?" This time Eddie pushed him
against the rail of the ship and hit the cigar out of Dominic's
mouth. The light was shining on Dominic's face, and Eddie saw
a mixture of surprise and anger.
"Hey! What is your problem?!" he shouted, but they were
out on deck in the wind and darkness and it was like a whisper.
Dominic pushed back against the rail, but Eddie would not let
him move.
"You! You are my problem!" Eddie shouted. He had no
idea what he was doing any more. He was scared, and angrier
than he had been for a long time.
"Move away, Eddie. This is unacceptable."
"Unacceptable? Unacceptable? Oh, really? So, after all
these years you know what is acceptable and unacceptable.
What you and Neal Skinner did to me was unacceptable. The
way you patronized and intimidated me was unacceptable. You
cheated and lied. You were so smug, so superior."
"I was the boss. I made tough decisions. You were a
casualty. It happens in business. Sink or swim, my friend. Get
over it."
Without thinking, Eddie brought his knee hard and fast up
into Dominic's groin. Dominic shouted out in shock and
blinding pain, but was able to push his hand hard into Eddie's
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face. Eddie lost his balance for a moment, giving Dominic time
to stand up straight. Dominic pushed Eddie in the chest, but
Eddie did not feel it. He was too busy getting his hands around
Dominic's neck. He squeezed and squeezed, and Dominic tried
to get himself free. But he could not. Eddie's hands were
locked around Dominic's throat. He dug in his nails to be sure.
He pressed his thumbs. Dominic was trying to speak, but he
couldn't. He choked out some words but Eddie could make no
sense of them.
"Just shut up! Shut up! You stupid... arrogant man!" Eddie
growled at him.
Eddie could finally see fear in Dominic's face, which had
gone pale, and his eyes stared back at him. Eddie could see he
was going to pass out, so he loosened his grip. What am I
doing? he thought. This is madness.
But the moment he let go, pain suddenly shot into Eddie's
ear as Dominic threw a punch to the right side of Eddie's head,
and then to his right side into his ribs. Eddie was wild and
angry once more, this time pushing Dominic back on to the
ship's rail. Hard against the rail. Fast against the rail. Dominic
shouting in pain once more. Eddie punching and punching.
"OK, OK, enough, enough. Stop," pleaded Dominic, his
arms up in defense.
Eddie stopped. He loosened his grip again and waited for
a reaction from Dominic, but none came. Eddie stood back and
watched Dominic try to stand up against the rail. Dominic was
holding his stomach and breathing heavily. He coughed a
couple of times. His head was down.
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CHAPTER TEN
Sinking not swimming
For a few days after his dismissal from Fenton's, Eddie
actually felt quite excited. He was relieved. A great weight had
been lifted from his shoulders. But this feeling did not last
long, and he soon started to feel irritable and, later on, angry.
For weeks he couldn't get Fenton's and Neal and Dominic
out of his mind. He thought over and over again about the
injustice of it all. He thought about all the arguments and
frustrations. All the work he had done. All the work he could
have done. Wasted. He missed his colleagues and a sense of
belonging, and he missed going to Russia and working with
Dima and the team.
To cheer himself up, he tried to remind himself that, apart
from people like Dominic, there were things he would not
miss, like emails. On the day Eddie left Fenton's for the last
time, there were over four hundred unanswered emails in his
inbox. Eddie always tried to get back to people, but it had
become impossible. Every time he got rid of one email, a dozen
more would appear within half an hour. The world had gone
mad, he thought. At first, like everyone else, Eddie had
welcomed the new form of communication. It was neat, cheap,
fast and flexible. But soon it dragged him down. He didn't like
to admit it, but Dominic was right about not reading emails.
They were never-ending.
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Dominic.
Back in his mind again.
Many times he had terrible thoughts about what he would
like to do to Dominic, and to Neal for that matter. He thought
of storming into the office and using Dominic's own golf clubs
to smash up computers and break windows, and then going into
the car park and doing his worst on Dominic's Mercedes. The
shiny paintwork, the windows - all slashed, scratched and
broken. It felt good but his conscience would not let him.
In the end, he followed Lynn's advice, which was to get
out of the house more and go for walks, or go swimming. Keep
busy. Get some exercise. They lived two miles from their local
sports center, so every morning Eddie got up with Lynn and
then walked through the park to the pool at the sports center.
He made this his morning routine, but he couldn't get used to
being in a swimming pool on a weekday morning at 10 a.m. He
normally swam after work, so it was strange for him to find the
pool almost empty, except for some elderly swimmers and
sometimes small school groups. As he sat in the cafe
afterwards, drinking a coffee or two, he always felt better. He
wanted to stay there all day and hide. Then his heart would sink
at the thought of heading home to nothing.
In fairness, Eddie had started looking for jobs in the same
week that he was fired. But as depression set in, he lost interest
and motivation. Then, to his alarm, he lost confidence. In a
way, this was worse than the depression, but these were all new
feelings and he was overwhelmed. Everything he had done
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CHAPTER ELEVEN
After the fight
Eddie went back inside the ship and made his way to the
toilets, where he locked himself inside a cubicle. He was
shaking and sweating. He sat down and put out his hands in
front of him, watching the shaking in fascination and fear. He
could feel the pain in his chest now, and his ear was sore. He
wiped his face with the palm of his hand; there was blood
coming from his nose. He used some toilet paper to stop the
bleeding. He felt exhausted.
Eddie stayed where he was for about ten minutes. The
toilets were empty and no one else came in during that time. He
almost expected Dominic to come in, and he imagined the fight
starting all over again. A struggle by the sinks, mirrors
breaking, doors slamming.
He decided to make his way back to the dining room. He
came out of the cubicle and looked in the mirror to straighten
his clothes and his hair. The bleeding had stopped. He washed
his face.
The dance floor was full and the dining area was being
cleared. Lynn was at the table talking to some other guests
when Eddie found her.
"Hello, stranger," she said. "You took your time. Where's
Dominic?"
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CHAPTER TWELVE
Lynn and Eddie argue
Six months had passed since Eddie's departure from
Fenton's, and no work offers were coming in. Summer was
over and the evenings were getting darker. Eddie had lost
weight and his relationship with Lynn was in a bad way. Either
they argued over most things or they didn't speak at all.
One Thursday afternoon Lynn came in from work and
Eddie was sitting in his armchair as usual, watching a TV show
from America. A couple and their neighbours were arguing
over a dog. Lynn was soaking wet. The rain was heavy outside.
"These people are so stupid," he said, not looking up.
"This guy says he can't sleep because of his neighbours dog,
and the neighbour says the other guy's been shooting at it with
an air rifle!"
"It's OK. I'm fine, thanks. Don't get up," Lynn said,
putting down heavy shopping bags as she came through the
front door.
"So this guy..." Eddie continued, "... the guy with the dog,
is suing the other guy for a hundred thousand dollars in
damages!"
Lynn was neither interested nor amused. She took off her
coat, picked up the bags and went into the kitchen. On the way,
she threw the post on to the sofa.
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"But the other guy - the guy with the gun - he's suing the
dog owner because he says the dog barks all night and messes
up his garden."
Eddie knew he had already upset Lynn, but he stayed
where he was. She was always upset these days. He decided to
shout out the rest of his commentary so that Lynn could hear
him in the kitchen.
"And now their wives are complaining that the men are
obsessed with arguing with each other. They've been fighting
over the dog for three years, and now they both want a
divorce."
Eddie heard Lynn say something from the kitchen.
"What?" he shouted.
"Nothing."
"No, go on," he shouted. "What did you say?"
"Nothing. Go back to your show. It sounds fascinating,"
she said. Eddie got up and went to see her. "What's wrong?"
Lynn ignored him and started putting shopping away in
cupboards and in the fridge.
"What's wrong?" he asked again.
This time she stopped and looked at Eddie. "Erm, well,
let me see. I get up in the morning and go to work while you sit
and watch telly. I come in from work, and you're still sitting
and watching telly. I do the shopping, I get no help. I do the
cooking, I get no help. I try to talk to you, and I get nothing.
You used to have breakfast with me in the mornings, and now
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you don't get up at all! We never go out. Our friends don't call
us. The house is a mess, and you're here all day making it
messier. You don't clean up, you don't tidy. You look a mess..."
"Thanks very much."
"... and I don't hear anything positive from you about
anything. Anything! I'm sick of it."
There was a pause after she stopped.
"Bad day then?" he said.
"It's not funny, Eddie. I worry so much about you, your
job situation, money - and then I go into work and I have at
least twenty - five kids in my class all day. I try to keep them
under control and happy, but I just want to cry. I want to tell
them all to shut up. I want to tell them to enjoy drawing
pictures and singing songs, because after that life is pointless."
"So, you did have a bad day."
"Bad year, Eddie. Bad year."
"So it's all my fault?"
"That is not what I mean."
"Yeah, right."
At that point, Lynn picked up a full box of eggs and threw
it at Eddie. He ducked just in time, and the whole thing
exploded on the kitchen wall.
"I guess we can have omelets for dinner," said Eddie, but
he knew things had gone too far.
"You can have omelets for dinner. I'm going out."
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"Where to?"
"I'm going to Angela's."
"Angela's? That's two hours away. When will you be
back?"
"Saturday."
"Saturday?"
"Maybe Sunday. I don't know."
"Lynn, please."
"No, Eddie. I've had enough. We're broke - worse than
broke - we are in so much debt. You've got no job and you can't
get a job, or you don't want one. I don't know."
"Lynn, listen to me."
"You sit in the house all day, feeling sorry for yourself..."
"Lynn..."
She was crying now.
"... and it isn't getting better," she sobbed. "It's getting
worse and I hate it. I'm sorry you lost your job, and I'm sorry it
made you ill. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough now, but I can't
help you anymore. I tried. I've lost you. You're here, but you're
not here. I want a break. We want a break."
"No, Lynn. Please, we have to talk..."
"I'll call you when I get to Angela's."
She was walking out of the kitchen and into the hall. She
opened the door under the stairs and took out an overnight bag.
Eddie could see she had already packed it.
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psychologist was trying to talk to it. This time last year he was
in Moscow working on the project of his career with good
money in the bank, and he and Lynn had even discussed
starting a family. Now, he had lost his job, his money, his
health, his confidence, and even his wife. Instead of taking the
company to the next level and building a future, he was sitting
in his lounge watching a dog in therapy.
He looked around for the remote control to change
channels, and saw the post. There were some letters for Lynn,
the new programme for the theatre, more bills, and a letter from
Steve Scott, his solicitor. He knew what the letter said before
he opened it. It was the result of many difficult meetings with
his solicitor and financial adviser. The letter now confirmed
that he was bankrupt.
Bankrupt.
A death.
The end of a life with money.
For a few more minutes Eddie watched two American
adults fighting and a dog being hypnotized. Then he put the
letter back in its envelope and went into the kitchen to clean the
eggs off his kitchen wall.
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The search
The next morning Eddie and Lynn walked into the dining
room and saw Jen having breakfast with some members of the
band. Two men in uniform were also sitting at the table. They
were asking questions and taking notes. Eddie assumed it was a
discussion about the coming evening's performance. He was
relieved to see that Dominic was nowhere to be seen. He still
didn't feel ready for the inevitable second confrontation.
"She looks upset," said Lynn as they sat eating their
breakfast at a table nearby.
"Maybe Dominic went back last night and started another
fight."
"Where is he then?"
"Maybe she strangled him?"
"Eddie!"
"Sorry. He's having a lie-in, I suppose. Who knows? Who
cares?"
At this point Jen looked across and saw Eddie and Lynn.
She pointed at them and got up to come over. The two men in
uniform accompanied her.
"Hello, Jen," said Lynn. "Is something wrong?"
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"It was hard to tell," said Eddie. That was true. "He had
his sunglasses on the whole time. We only chatted for a few
minutes."
"And did you meet for a drink?"
"No, we didn't. We were supposed to meet at the bar after
Jen, his girlfriend, finished her session with the band. I met him
briefly on deck though."
"I see," said the policeman, tapping information on his
keyboard. "What did you talk about?"
"Not much really. I was only with him for about five
minutes, but I came inside because I was cold." Then Eddie
thought he should add something else. "I was hoping to find
out what he'd been up to since the old days, but I never saw
him after that."
"Why not?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest. I was with my wife for the
evening, but we went back to our cabin earlier than we had
planned. We were tired. I was feeling unwell. I was unwell at
the hotel. Too much sun, I think."
"Ah yes, Mr Stephens' girlfriend mentioned that. What
time did you go to your cabin?"
"I have no idea." Eddie didn't like to end his statement
with uncertainty, so he added: "On the ship you lose track of
time. We both went to sleep. The first thing we heard about
Dominic's disappearance was this morning when Jen came to
tell us at breakfast."
The policeman nodded and carried on typing.
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CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Swimming not sinking
In the end, Lynn stayed with Angela for five months. She
told Eddie that she needed some time to feel normal again.
They didn't argue anymore and it was only a separation, but it
frightened Eddie. When Lynn left and stayed away for five
months instead of three nights, he really thought he'd lost her
forever. He was as low, lost and lonely as anyone can feel, but
he knew this was a turning point. Losing Lynn was a thousand
times worse than losing his job, and he needed to make
changes. As Clive said to him during that time: "When you hit
rock bottom, the only way is up."
It was a mess, however. Eddie's mental health was not
good, and it got much worse when Lynn left. He couldn't find
work, and his depression made it impossible to do so. Lynn
also lost her job when she didn't come back immediately. They
had to sell the house and furniture to cover all their debts, and
they were no longer in a position to borrow money to start
again.
Steve Scott, their solicitor, was an enormous help to both
of them, handling their finances and their legal problems. He
did everything except start a divorce action for them, and they
had Clive to thank for that. Clive realized that the separation
could not last long, and he kept in touch with both of them to
make sure that it didn't result in total breakdown.
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"Oh, Clive and I went to the pub and stayed there until
about one. It was OK."
"How is Clive?"
"He's here. Do you want to speak to him?"
"No, it's all right. I'll text him."
"OK."
A pause.
"Lynn?" said Eddie eventually.
"I'm still here."
"I miss you."
"I know."
"Come back. Please."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because... you haven't got a house, and neither have I!"
They both laughed a little.
"OK. If I get a house, will you come back?"
"Only if you get a big one."
"OK."
"Very big."
"OK."
"With a garden."
"Right."
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out of work, he had actually started missing his work and his
friends in the business. Over the next few years, Eddie put
together a business plan and borrowed money from friends and
family.
He began as an export agent in London for various UK
software companies. He still had a strong and loyal commercial
network throughout Europe, and many of his old customers and
contacts were glad to have him back. Some had already
become disillusioned with the larger companies like Fenton's,
and Eddie's introduction of new products and a faster and more
personal service brought good results. His enthusiasm and
energy returned, and every day he enjoyed the thought that he
was his own boss; no one could undermine his plans or take
away the credit.
He set up a small office not far from Notting Hill and
started off with a part-time office assistant. At the end of the
first year he had taken on three full-time people. By the
following year he had moved to larger offices and had a team
of ten. It was the beginning of a sixteen-year journey which
turned Eddie from a bankrupt, broken individual into a
confident and very wealthy man.
Over time Eddie poached some of the team from Fentons,
including Clive, who soon joined him as a partner. Clive then
head hunted some of the best people from Fenton's production
and development team. With investment from some overseas
partners, they then created a series of online titles for
companies to provide general training, systems and platforms
to run their businesses.
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CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Revelations
Two more days passed with no sign of Dominic. Then
three days, then four, then five. Soon a whole week had passed.
Eventually the authorities decided to call off the search, and let
the ship continue on its voyage. The shipping line did not want
to cause any further inconvenience for the passengers. The
longer they stayed there, the more bad publicity they faced
from the press. From their point of view the sooner things got
back to normal, the better. Cruise life continued and the
Parvina took Eddie and Lynn, and its mystery, to St Lucia,
Antigua, Martinique and Grenada.
Back in Barbados, before flying home, Eddie and Lynn
went shopping and stopped at a cafe. The TV was on by the
bar, but the sound was off. Eddie stared at the news and saw
some familiar pictures of the ship, the helicopter searches, and
the same photograph of Dominic that was used in all the
reports of his disappearance. They had seen all these pictures
before, but this time the report seemed to continue with
interviews with people back in the UK.
Eddie could see a businessman talking to a TV journalist.
Then another. Then there were pictures of some buildings.
They were offices where Dominic had worked, but Eddie didn't
recognise them. There were pictures of Dominic's house, and
an interview with an elderly couple. The caption read that they
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"Maybe he fell."
"Maybe you pushed him," she said, smiling and nudging
Eddie in the side with her elbow. It still hurt where Dominic
had punched him. The man was still a pain in his side.
"Maybe someone else pushed him?" suggested Eddie.
"Back home there was probably a long queue of people waiting
to do something like that to him, and to all the superior-
minded, arrogant Dominic's of the world."
"Sad," she said.
"Very," said Eddie. "Some are pushed and some jump
anyway. That's the way it is. That's the way it's always been.
The trick is what you do next."
Eddie took a deep, relaxed breath, let out a long sigh and
looked out to sea to the Caribbean horizon once more and for
the last time.
And then he smiled.
It was very clear to him now.
He could easily make out the difference between the stars
and the lights of the island, and he wondered why he had never
noticed it before.
- THE END -
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