Yes, No, Maybe Half?

~ Off Air (Extras)

Off Air – Story 1

Story 1: Tropical Bed

Author’s Note: I saw an actress give an interview where she said that
she kept her bedroom at a humidity of 70%, and she had really
beautiful luminous skin! I feel like Kunieda-san also possesses
similar skills to those actresses, such as the ability to control the
sweat glands on their face…

First published in Shousetsu Dear Plus 2013 Summer Edition Free

Paper.

Translator Note: This story takes place some time after Volume 1
Chapter 8 of Yes, No, or Maybe Half? It can also be viewed as a sort
of companion piece to the bedroom scene in Chapter 9.

The first time that Ushio stepped into Kei’s bedroom, the room was
so humid that it felt like the air itself clung to his body. Kei had it
specially set to a high humidity level. Ushio had his film equipment
and art materials at his house that he needed to store away from
humid environments, and so Kei’s room was like a breath of fresh air
for him.

There was a bed in the room, and it was the only piece of furniture in
there. Apparently, Kei didn’t even use the closet to store his clothing.
In order to avoid mold growth, the bed was placed in the center of
the room away from the walls. Sprawled out on the bed, it felt like he
was on a tiny island somewhere in the middle of the ocean. He
remembered playing something similar to it as a kid, pretending that
the floor around the bed was the ocean and that it was infested with
sharks.
Ushio rolled over on to his side and stared at Kei’s back as he sat on
the bed. He had been busy reading a document for a while.

“What are you reading?”

“A script.”

“Won’t it get musty if you read it in here?”

“I won’t need it after tomorrow, so it’s fine.”

“You have work?”

It was a Friday night, and Ushio came over thinking that he wouldn’t
be interrupting anything important.

“Not really work, more like a side gig? I’m MCing a wedding
reception.”

“You do jobs like that too?”

“Sometimes.”

Staff or acquaintances at work (he didn’t have any friends) would ask
him to MC, and he would charge 50,000 to 100,000 yen1 and not
take an honorarium. Strictly speaking, it was against company policy,
but the network looked the other way and it allowed announcers to
earn a little extra on the side.

“It’s for a senior colleague in the announcer department, so I couldn’t

say no. I couldn’t even make up a work-related excuse because he
knows my schedule. Tch, what’s with this damn exaggerated story
about how they first met? He slept with his friend’s girlfriend, and
now they’re shamelessly…”

Kei was making snide remarks about the portion of the script talking
about the beginning of the couple’s romance. But he wouldn’t
breathe a single syllable of his rude opinions during the reception,
and Ushio imagined Kei taking to the mic with his perfect, ironclad
smile. Kei would look far too beautiful for his own good. A wedding
reception was essentially a ceremony where people cleaned up their
story, or put their own positive spin on things, then embellished it
with cute, little anecdotes for decorations. To be blunt, it seemed like
a performance to him, and Ushio didn’t like the social expectations
that came with becoming an adult and finding a partner. To be
precise, he didn’t want to be forced to confront his own immaturity
that kept him from being able to handle the social baggage. It all
seemed so fake to him, and he didn’t know how to react to all of the
fakeness.

But he liked Kei and his lies, or rather, Kei was made up of lies, and
he liked him the way he was. Maybe it was because their meeting
was a crash out of the blue (literally and figuratively), or maybe after
clearing the air between them, he thought that it was something new
and refreshing, or maybe he was simply attracted to Kei’s looks. But
why Ushio liked him so much, he wasn’t entirely clear.

“I don’t get it” should be my line.

“…Well, whatever, as long as it’s interesting, it’ll be fine.”

“Hn?” Kei turned his head at the sound of Ushio talking to himself.

Do you have to answer with a grunt all the time?

“Were you bad mouthing me just now?”

“You’re surprisingly sharp sometimes.”

“Oi.”

“I wasn’t bad mouthing you.”

“Then what was it?”

“I said to turn around and face me.”

“That doesn’t match the length of what you said.”

Ushio laughed at the suspicious look that Kei was giving him over his
shoulder. It was an expression that would make people pale and
exclaim, Kunieda’s snapped and lost his mind, if they were to ever
see it.

“But it’s true.” Ushio pulled at the collar at the back of Kei’s T-shirt.
“Come here.”

“Quit it! You’re gonna stretch it out.”

“Pay attention to me.”

“You ignore me most of the time yourself!”

“If you say something, I’d pay attention to you.”

“Liar. You don’t even see me when you get immersed in your work…
But anyway! What was that ‘I’d pay attention to you’ for? It’s not like
I’m begging for it!”

“Yes, yes, I know.”

Ushio sat up to wrap both arms around Kei and pulled him down
onto the bed. It wouldn’t have been so easy if Kei had wanted to put
his foot down, and so Ushio interpreted it to mean that Kei was
actually fine with this.

“Don’t interrupt my work!”

“I’d behave if it was seriously important work, but it’s not, is it?
Anyway, if you really didn’t want me to bother you, you wouldn’t have
let me in the apartment in the first place.”
Kei didn’t say anything in return. He was usually such a good
speaker that it was really amusing to see him so honestly at a loss
for words.

“Anyway, it’s pretty obvious what’ll happen when you bring someone
up to your room on a Friday night.”

“I didn’t bring you up to my room!”

“I know, I know.”

Ushio propped himself up on one arm and looked down at Kei. He

caught a brief look of worry on Kei’s face, and it didn’t look like he
was faking it, but then Kei immediately frowned and said, “I’m not
doing it tonight. I have to MC tomorrow, and if I show up with a
hoarse voice, my reputation will go down.”

Kei once told him that he fine-tunes the way he speaks for different
settings, whether it was in a studio with a pin mic, outside at an
assignment, or in a hall with a hand mic. When Ushio said that it all
sounded the same to him, Kei had yelled at him, saying, I adjust my
voice to make it sound the same, stupid! It strained the vocal cords
to change his voice, and he had to be careful not to overexert
himself. Ushio understood that.

“You don’t feel sorry for the bride and groom?”

“I don’t care about them.”

“Then I don’t care about them either.” Ushio took the script from Kei’s
hands and dropped it on the floor.

“Hey!”

“You can memorize that thing in 30 minutes if you wanted to.”

Ushio brought his face close to Kei’s, and suddenly Kei looked so
openly restless and eager that Ushio wondered what he was ever
going to do about him. He was far too easy to read.

“Anyway, if you want to protect your throat, then you can try to keep
quiet.”

“What…?”

“You don’t have to moan so loudly if you don’t want to.”

“What!? Dammit, I don’t moan that loudly!! Don’t get too full of
yourself, dumbass! Drop dead!”

Ushio gave a light pat to his red cheeks. “Yes, yes, I know,” he said
soothingly. “You can keep quiet, then? You’ll be fine; it’s just keeping
your mouth shut. Unless you don’t think you can do it.”

Kei was a smart guy and a quick learner, but he always fell for his
cheap tricks. It was too funny… No, no, it was too charming. It
amused and charmed Ushio to no end to watch Kei angst over how
he always gave into Ushio’s provocations, no matter how much he
tried to ignore him.

“Mmmh…”

Since Kei couldn’t use his voice, he arched his head back further
than usual, prominently exposing the curve of his throat. Ushio
sucked at the underside of Kei’s jaw and noticed that his breathing
was erratic for a brief moment.

“Hey, you okay?”

The tone in Ushio’s voice showed absolutely no sincerity, and Kei
swatted his head.

“Ow…”

It actually didn’t hurt at all. Ushio pressed deeper inside of Kei, and
the lips that Kei stubbornly tried to keep shut started to quiver. Just
how frustrated was he that he couldn’t let out his voice? Every time
Ushio moved, Kei dug his nails harder into his arms. He was going to
have some terrible marks after this was over, but he wasn’t going to
complain when he was the one who initiated this.

“Hmmmphhh, nhhhhh…!”

The stifled moans were mixed with a heavy nasal breathing, and
they were like the sweetest sugar Ushio had ever tasted. Just a
single grain of crystal was enough to melt in his mouth and intoxicate
him. It was truly an appetizing scene for him, but they’d been at it like
this since they had started, and Ushio thought it was about time to
leave no more excuses for those stubborn lips to let go and open up
for him.

Ushio aimed carefully, grinding his cock repeatedly against the little
spot that made Kei weak and tremble. He was rewarded for his
efforts; the straight line flattened between his lips broke, releasing a
voice mired with lust and need.

“No! Ah, ahh…! Dammit, you jackass! Idiot—!”

“Yes?”

“Nooo, ngh, no, ahhh…”

“…Ahhh, fuck, you turn me on so much.”

Ushio knew that he shouldn’t do anything to interfere with Kei’s job

tomorrow. He had only wanted to tease him a little before stopping,
but then he heard Kei’s voice, so desperate and so open, he wanted
to hear more, intensifying the rhythm. It was his own private
broadcast, and he was a damn lucky man.

“Ahh, ahh, ah… noo, Ushio…”

Kei’s hands clung to Ushio’s arms as if they would break through his
skin, but they released him only to wrap around the back of his neck,
pulling him closer.

“Hmm? —Mmnh.”

Kei kissed him deeply and passionately.

Ohhh, so that’s what you’re thinking. And truly no better way to seal
your own mouth. Ahhh, you amuse me too much.

When he called Kei “cute,” it always meant that he was amused.

The arousal conveyed from one pair of lips to the other bewitched
him far more than when he was merely listening with his ears.
Maybe Kei was intoxicated by their perfectly synchronized kiss; his
hole clenched up on Ushio even tighter than before. The humidity of
the room enveloped them as they tangled their bodies together.
Coupled with their rising body temperature, Ushio felt like the two of
them were alone on a tropical island. It was hot, sweltering, and
humid, but most of all, exhilarating.

As he rewarded the tongue that was offered to him, his hunger for
Kei grew deeper as he demanded more and more and more.

Story 2: Things That Happened Today

Author’s Note: I faintly remember writing this sometime before a
meet and greet… On a happy, ordinary day where nothing
particularly special happens, it’s actually quite quiet and laid-back for
the two of them.
Spoilers for Volume 3 Chapter 32

First published in Shousetsu Dear Plus Special 50th Issue

Commemorative Free Mini-Book.

Translator Note: This story takes place some time after Volume 1 of
Yes, No, or Maybe Half? There’s a spoiler in the author’s note for
Volume 3 that I recommend that you save until after you read the
chapter.

For Kei, it was scarier to have symptoms that didn’t hurt. Normally
there were warning signs such as irritation or soreness in his throat
before losing his voice, but once or twice a year, he would suddenly
lose his voice with absolutely no additional symptoms beforehand.

“Ah… Ah— Ah—”

Kei sat on the bed and tried to focus his breathing through his
diaphragm, but no matter how much he tried, all that came out of his
mouth was a shriveled up wisp of a voice like the skin of a wilted
grape. Even a tsk of his tongue sounded pathetically dead and flat.
Although he didn’t have any warning signs, in the back of his mind
he had felt it coming. First, there were issues at the recording
session for the extended narration job that he had yesterday
afternoon. Of course, none of it was Kei’s fault. Throughout the
session the director kept asking him, “That sounded really good, but
can you do it again differently?” like he had only a vague notion of
what he wanted the narration to sound like. The inability to make a
decision—did he like it or not, dammit—was what irritated Kei the
most. He wanted to charge the jackass by the take. Then after being
put through the wringer, he had to go on air for the nightly news, then
late night off the air he had things, all sorts of things… Basically, it
was all his fault.
At least today was a Saturday, that was one small consolation. His
throat would probably recover after letting it rest for two days. To be
more precise, it was always the weekends when he would lose his
voice. He didn’t know if it was just a considerate way for his voice to
rebel on him.

“Oh, we’re outta of eggs today. Is just toast okay with you?” Ushio
asked, already up and showered.

You’re half the reason for this, Kei thought as he glowered at Ushio
and jabbed a finger at his throat.

“Hmm?”

“I lost my voice,” Kei croaked with a bizarre-sounding hoarseness;

he sounded ridiculous even to himself.

Ushio immediately ran over to the bed, placing his hands on Kei’s
forehead and his cheeks. “Is it a cold? A fever? Does it hurt? Want to
go to the hospital?”

“No, dummy.”

But if you make such a concerned expression while you touch me all
over, you’re gonna make me blush.

Kei pushed away Ushio’s hands. “It happens from time to time,” he
explained hoarsely. “If I leave it alone, it’ll get better.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Ushio looked relieved, seeing that Kei had treated it like it was no big
deal. He ruffled Kei’s hair a few times and gave him an indulgent
smile.
Kei couldn’t let his guard down. He learned his lesson that Ushio
always said the stupidest things whenever he smiled like this.

“Can you say, ‘Good evening, I’m Mori Shinichi,’ for me?”1

He knew it’d be something stupid, such as imitating someone

famous for a raspy voice.

“Drop dead.”

Kei couldn’t curse him out as much as he wanted. He hit Ushio in the
shoulder with a pillow, and Ushio exclaimed, “It’s a joke,” to try to
defend himself.

“A joke, huh? This is my moneymaker, you know.”

“Then shouldn’t you put less strain on it?”

“Whose fault do you think it is?”

“I’ll go out and buy you the morning papers, so forgive me? I’ll make
you whatever you want for breakfast too.”

“Grilled eel.”

“Got it, got it, eggs, you said.”

That didn’t sound remotely like anything I said.

Kei went to take a shower and when he exited the bathroom, his
personal errand runner was nowhere in sight, probably still out doing
the shopping. In his stead, there was a light blue-green kerosene
stove with a large kettle sitting on top of it, warming up the room.
Ushio only pulled it out on nights when it was especially cold in the
downstairs studio, but apparently he brought it up for Kei to help with
the warmth and humidity levels. It was a pain to keep replenishing
the kerosene, but Ushio seemed to really enjoy the charm of this
stove more than an electric heater, saying that he liked watching the
flickering blue flame through the round porthole.

Kei brought a round stool closer to the stove and warmed himself in
front of it while he let his mind wander. There was a real heat that
could be felt from a live fire. Which reminded Kei by the way—where
did Ushio find this gigantic ass kettle? It was like it was made for a
rugby team. And written in magic marker on its side were the words
“Hot Water Supply.” Ushio’s house was like a mix of odds and ends
—not a single dish of his matched each other, he got his refrigerator
as a payment for helping someone with a move, he made his bed
frame out of scrap wood that he cut himself, his linens didn’t match,
and he used a stack of wooden trays used for displaying baked
goods as his clothes dresser.

There was no sense of cohesiveness, and yet it didn’t feel

uncomfortable being in this space; there was a strange sense of
completeness that came from being in this large bundle of mishmash
that could only be described as “Ushio’s home.” It would be an
exaggeration to call it a kind of system or harmony, but there was a
calm steadiness that suffused the house. Maybe it was because
everything he was given, everything he had picked up, Ushio had
deemed that he had wanted it or needed it. That was what it had felt
like to him as he remembered the sight of Ushio sitting down to
disassemble the stove, carefully polishing the parts, like undertaking
a ritual, before putting it together again for the start of the winter
season.

And now Kei had made himself fully at home here. Looking back…

…Hold on, am I something that he picked up like everything else

too?

“I’m home.”
Ushio returned with the rustling of plastic bags from the convenience
store. Kei opened his mouth to try to speak as soon as Ushio
appeared upstairs.

“Here are your papers. Hmm? What are you trying to say?” Ushio
asked.

Kei wanted to insist that he was the one who had picked Ushio up
out of his magnanimity, but in the past 15 minutes his throat had
grown even hoarser and now he could barely make a sound. Ushio
gave him a funny look with a “What the heck are you saying?” like he
had heard Kei, but there was nothing more to be said.

“Is your voice completely gone now? You’ll have to behave and stay
quiet.”

After handing Kei his morning papers and the throat lozenges that he
normally used, Ushio headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. By
the time Kei finished reading through one of the papers, Ushio called
out, “Breakfast’s ready.”

“I tried a little harder today.”

Normally when they had eggs, they rotated between sunny-side up

with ham, omelets, or scrambled eggs, but this morning there were
English muffins each with a plump poached egg sitting on top,
covered in an orangish cream-colored sauce.

“I thought something a little fancier than normal would be nice, and I

saw on TV the other day how to make hollandaise sauce. Do you
want a knife and fork?”

It was a pain in the ass, so no. Kei shook his head and asked for
chopsticks in a voice that didn’t sound like a voice. He picked up the
Eggs Benedict with his chopsticks, opening his mouth up wide and
took a bite. He would die if this were ever made public.
“Is it good?”

Kei nodded.

“Eat your vegetables too.”

Kei ignored him, but Ushio held out a small bowl in front of his face.
It looked like he had abandoned his fancier efforts halfway; it was
just a simple salad with hand-torn lettuce, smashed cucumbers, and
baby tomatoes tossed with Krazy Salt mixed seasoning.

“Without the proper nutrition, you won’t recover properly, you know.”

Kei couldn’t retort, What difference does this single meal make? And
so he reluctantly picked up some salad with his chopsticks. He’d eat
all of it, okay? He was the type to eat his favorite foods first. There
was no meaning in saving the best for last if it went cold before he
could eat it.

After cleaning up their dishes, Ushio said, “I’ll be downstairs doing

some work,” as he dried his hands on a towel. “You’ll stay here,
right? I made some daikon radish soaked in honey for your throat, so
have some around lunchtime. It’ll get soggy if you leave it sitting for
too long.”

The space was thoroughly warmed up. Kei passed the time reading
his newspapers. As a repercussion for maintaining his outside
persona, he liked to talk to himself in private. He’d always grumble
things like, Not again, or, How dumb, while he read, but the only
sound accompanying him today was the rustling of the paper. He
couldn’t get into a rhythm for reading, and he couldn’t process
anything that he read.

Kei also liked to grumble in front of Ushio without any reservation,

and Ushio would often ask him about it. When Kei would point to the
article and explain, Ushio would always give a “Hmmm…” before
launching a series of unexpected questions.
“Whose fault is it?”

“Why does it have to mean that?”

“What will happen next?”

“What common ground is there?”

They were exceedingly simple questions, but being in the news

business meant that Kei tended to be a news maniac, in the bad
sense of the word, as he processed the stories. Rarely did he ever
have to think about the heart of the problem, and he secretly
struggled to answer the questions. However, most of his viewers
didn’t devour multiple sets of newspapers daily like him; they
probably all had the same question: So what does it mean? That
was why Kei always replied, “Fine, let me explain it to you.” A lot of
the times it helped Kei out in going through the exercise. But right
now he couldn’t talk, and Ushio was busy; it was impossible to
concentrate.

Kei finished reading through his newspapers feeling completely

unsatisfied, and he lazed around on the bed until it was lunchtime.
He was taking a spoonful of honey infused with daikon radish juices
when he noticed that the stove had run out of kerosene. He went
downstairs to find Ushio sitting at the computer desk and mouthed
“Kerosene” at him.

“Okay. How about we ventilate the second floor now that the
cartridge is empty?”

Kei gave him a look that said, Even though it’s nice and toasty
upstairs? But Ushio didn’t pay any mind to his objections and went
upstairs to open the windows anyway. Kei rolled up into a ball on the
sofa downstairs instead.
Ushio returned to his desk and asked, “Want to watch TV? You have
a lot of shows you’ve taped and want to check, right?”

I’ll do it later.

“Do you want lunch? I’m fine with either.”

I’m not hungry.

“Once the second floor’s done ventilating, how about we use the
stove to cook something simple? Do you want oden2 or pot-au-
feu?”3

Meat.

“Ok, I’ll get some beef shank, potatoes, and onions to stew— …
Hey.” Ushio turned to look at Kei. “Does it sound like we’re having a
regular conversation to you?”

That’s what I want to ask.

“I’m just filling in what I think you’d normally say. You’re easy to read,
after all.”

Shut up.

After some time had passed, Kei could tell from the profile of Ushio’s
face staring at the monitor that Kei had completely disappeared from
his thoughts and that he was immersed inside of the world of the
LCD screen. There were times when Kei entered the zone at work,
and all outside sounds would disappear from his consciousness
while he was on air. Even though he had never played pachinko
before, getting into the zone was something akin to the opening of
the tulip catchers as the metal balls bounced between the pins. Only
when the conditions and the energy was right did it come together
like a special bonus time, and since Kei knew how valuable it was,
he tried not to disturb Ushio while he was focused on his work. It
would be a lie to say that he didn’t feel lonely from the lack of
attention he got from Ushio at these moments, but Ushio probably
had nights where he felt the same when he was watching Kei on TV.

Kei quietly went back upstairs. It was probably done ventilating by

now. He closed the windows in the chilled room and placed his
fingers over the top of the fuelless stove. It was cold.

Was it last month or so? Kei had woken up in the middle of the night
and found the bed empty next to him. There was no sign of Ushio
anywhere, and so he crept downstairs and found Ushio sitting on the
sofa warming up by the stove. To be more precise, he was probably
watching the dancing of the blue flames. It didn’t look like he was
thinking hard about something, but his face was serious and he
didn’t notice Kei had come down. Kei wondered if he was thinking
about something for work that night. He thought that maybe there
was an aspect that was deeply personal and full of solitude to the
process of creating art. Maybe Ushio was lonelier than Kei had been
before they had ever met.

Kei crawled under the covers into the bed. It smelled like Ushio. He
came to sleep over so frequently and for quite a while now, he
wondered that maybe his own smell had started to mix with
Ushio’s… Ugh, was he turning into a pervert? Kei couldn’t help but
jab a critical comment at himself silently. Today he was seized with
thoughts that were different from normal. Probably because he had
lost his voice. He couldn’t release the fragments of his thoughts, and
he had to keep them bottled inside, fermenting inside of his heart
until they transformed. It wasn’t anything important that he wanted to
say, but the weakened condition of his throat went directly to his
heart.

He was afraid when his thoughts turned strangely introspective. It

made his imagination get away from him. Like what would he do if
his voice didn’t return by Monday? Wasn’t losing his voice without
any warning just his body going on strike?
Was he finally at the limit where he could no longer tolerate this
impossible, forced, fake lifestyle?

It terrified him to have the switch cut out on him without any pain.

Apparently he had fallen asleep while he was squeezing his eyes

shut. He had sweated a little in his sleep now that the stove was on
again. The scent of meat cooking traveled from his nose directly to
his stomach. If he had smelled it outside while walking by, it probably
would have stopped him in his tracks.

Ushio was sitting in front of the stove watching the flames while a pot
was heating on top of it. The blue flame was proof that it was
consuming the oxygen in the air properly.

However, blue or red, a fire was fire. It released heat and burned
people if they got too close.

Suddenly Ushio looked over at Kei. “You’re awake?”

The room was entirely gray inside, tinged with a light orange hue.
Kei wanted to ask what time it was, but he still didn’t have his voice
back.

“It’s 4:30,” Ushio replied, not minding the silence as he skimmed off
the top of the stew. “It’ll be ready to eat in a bit.”

Kei flipped open the covers, making a space on the bed, and patted
the mattress a few times.

“What’s that you want?” Ushio laughed as he went over to the bed,
and Kei grabbed a hold of him around his waist. This kind of action
shouldn’t need any words.
“…This is a rare treat. Are you still cold?”

No, dummy.

Kei dug his fingers into a soft area where the muscle seemed to
taper, and Ushio grimaced, uttering an “Ow.” Then Ushio went back
to the stove, turning it off before slipping into the bed with Kei.

“It probably would have been okay to leave it on,” Ushio said while
removing his clothes, “but it wouldn’t be good if it accidentally tipped
over from the vibrations.”

Just how hard do you plan to go at it?

They made love, slow and quiet, and Kei was more aware than usual
of the rustling of the sheets and the creaking of the bedsprings. And
then there was the unsteadiness of Ushio’s breathing and the raw
sounds of their bodies rubbing up against each other.

“…It’ll be okay,” Ushio whispered as he slowly immersed himself

deep inside of Kei. “You’ll have your voice back soon.”

Of course, I will. I know that. Shut up.

Kei tightened his arms around Ushio’s back, and Ushio stroked the
back of his head as he whispered, “There, there.”

With each stroke of Ushio’s hand, the words, It’ll be okay, seeped
inside of him.

When the sun had fully set and the slowly simmered meat and
vegetables were served on a plate in front of him, Kei’s voice had
started to slowly return.
“It was a slow day where nothing much happened, huh?”

Kei nodded at Ushio’s words and shoveled his dinner into his mouth.

Story 3: This Little Light of Mine

—–Translated by daydrop. Please read on the original site at

daydrop.nowaki.net.

Author’s Note: The title is taken from the name of a beautiful gospel
song. This story is about a rare date Ushio has outside with Kunieda-
san. I feel like Ushio knows a lot of people who have all sorts of
restrictions that limit what they can do in public.

First published in the Yes, No, or Maybe Half? Drama CD booklet.

Translator Note: This story takes place in the aftermath of Volume 1

of Yes, No, or Maybe Half?

Ushio called to say that he’d be back Saturday night.

“My plane arrives at Haneda after 10:30, so I’ll probably be home a

little before midnight.”

“You have terrible timing,” Kei complained. “Why does it have to be

this Saturday of all days?”

“What?”

“That’s the night we have our year-end party for the show.”

From the on-air presenters, the staff members, the network

executives, the production company people whom they normally
never saw, to even the representatives who managed their taxi
contracts, in any case, it was a huge party for everyone who had a
hand in making the show a success. His attendance was absolutely
required.

“Isn’t it a bit early for that?”

“There are New Year’s parties in January, and we have to work

around all the old men in upper management. Their schedules are
already full with drinking parties, and we have to make adjustments
to accommodate everyone.”

December was always jam packed with end of year and new year
specials, making it a very busy time of the year for people, and so an
executive decision was made to set the year-end party farther out
when schedules were less hectic.

“Anyway, why do we need year-end parties anyway? Are they really

that necessary? Why do we need to get together as a group to drink
and go through all this hassle to do it?”

Not only did Kei have to pay his share of the party expenses, he had
to find a gift to bring for the raffle and prepare himself to spend at
least 4 hours at the main venue, wasting his precious Saturday
putting on his outside face to mingle with work colleagues. It was
pure agony. If only he could order a life-size cutout of himself and
make it attend the party for him instead.

“Don’t ask me. So where will it be?”

“Remember the hotpot place we went to with Minagawa? It’s the

same building on the first floor.”

“Well, you’ll have people drinking with you, so at least you won’t feel
lonely.”

“…Huh?”
“What do you mean, ‘Huh?’”

“What do you mean by lonely?”

“Just that with people around, you’ll be too distracted to feel lonely
while waiting for me.”

“I don’t feel lonely!”

Crap, this is starting to sound like last time. He’ll probably pretend
again and give me that “I feel lonely” bit. I should just snort and say
“Oh really” back at him. Piece of cake. I can do this.

“Oh, okay then. As long as you’re good.”

I’m ready with my guard up, but what’s with this weak response!?

“Follow the damn script!”

The one in my head.

“What script?”

“…Nevermind.”

“Anyway, I’m being serious here. I’m crashing at someone’s house

so it’s always pretty lively with people around, but it’s not the same
for you. I feel a little bad at how unbalanced it is for you.”

“I don’t need your concern.”

Kei wasn’t a child, and Ushio knew fully well that other than Ushio,
people caused him more stress.

“But when I left you alone, you surprised me at how fast you tossed
me aside.”
“You can’t use that against me anymore! It’s been long enough!”

“No way, it’s still far too soon… Anyway, I guess this means I’ll get
home before you. What time do you think you’ll be done?”

“Dunno, depends on how it goes.”

He’d flee before anyone got him to stay until morning, that was for
certain.

“Okay, let’s keep things flexible. Come over if you can, and if you
can’t, that’s fine too. Good night.”

Ushio hung up, and Kei looked down at his phone for a while,
regretting the way the conversation had went. He flopped face down
on the bed he’d been lying in, Ushio’s of course.

How dare he hang up so easily.

His mission seeing Ushio off at the airport had been a big success,
and so this time Kei was thinking about going to pick him up. It would
be a million times more fun picking up than seeing off. It wasn’t like
they had been separated for a year or two, but it would have been
nice if Ushio had sounded more disappointed that he was busy that
day… And then Kei’s dissatisfaction turned into anxiety. Personality-
wise, Ushio probably preferred solitude more than Kei. Maybe what
he really wanted was to get away from the people he’d been living
with and retreat back to being alone by himself? It wasn’t that Kei
doubted Ushio’s feelings, but just like how he kept up an act in front
of other people, there could be sides to people deep down inside
that were hard to change.

I wonder what he really thinks.

But if he were to ask, Ushio would probably dodge the question (or
use his body to distract him).
While Kei was turning back and forth in bed, he noticed the flashing
of the incoming message light from the corner of his eye.

Ah, a new text message. Yes, yes, I bet it’s not anything mushy this
time. He’ll probably try to pull the rug out from under me, texting
something stupid or whatever— Or maybe he anticipated me
thinking this, and he’ll change it around on me? Which one is it?

His heart raced as he turned on his phone.

“I forgot to tell you.”

…Starting a message this way means…?

“Saturday, before you go out, put my blankets in the dryer for me.”

“…He just wants to fucking sleep when he gets back!?”

Dammit, I’m gonna put frozen gel packs under your covers and
inside your pillows too!

Ahhh, I’m so glad Minagawa’s here.

It was probably the first time Kei ever thought such a thing.

“Attention! Please excuse me for interrupting the lively conversation!

But we’ll be starting the gift raffle that everyone’s been waiting for! If
anyone still hasn’t submitted their names for the raffle, please bring
your business card to the box located at the entrance of the
reception hall.”

Kei could shove all the MC duties at him and relax.

But he still had to sit down, pour sake for people, have it poured for
him, and dodge the subtle (but not really) flirtatious looks that people
gave him. It kept him busy with no time to breathe, but it was better
than holding a mic and working his throat all night.

“We have a 10,000 yen1 gift card from the folks at the Weather
Center! And the winner is… Director Uemura from the Sports
Corner! Congratulations~! Please treat me to something later~!”

“I keep telling Minagawa to fix the sloppy way he drags the last
syllable of his sentences, but he never does it.”

See, and he gets criticized by everyone in the room too.

“He does a terrible job at keeping each sound nice and sharp.”

“Let’s give him a break? Today’s a party after all.” Shitara smiled
wryly as he tried to steer Asou away to a different topic. “Next year
Kunieda will whip him into shape for us, right?”

“I’m not so sure I’d be able to handle such a job.”

Leave me out of this, Kei thought as he gave a vague smile.

“I already have my hands full with all of the work I have.”

“But you always look so unfazed to me?”

“That’s probably not the case.”

The one expressing his doubts with a strange, knowing confidence

was none other than Asou.

“I think given Kunieda’s personality type, he’s probably having a

harder time than he’s letting on.”

“Huh?”
What was that supposed to mean?

There was a bewilderment in his voice that wasn’t just an act. For a
brief moment, Asou sent a sharp gaze that seemed to pierce him
right where he had let his guard down. But then he softened his face
and said, “He’s such a good student, it’s tough finding new
assignments for him.”

“Oh, no, you’re too kind…”

Was that innocuous-sounding comment what Asou truly felt? But if

Kei tried digging into it too much, it might stir up unnecessary trouble
for himself.

“Next we have bath goods from the Wardrobe Department! And our
winner is… Oh, it’s Kunieda-san. Kunieda-sa~n!”

“He’s calling for you.”

“Oh, right. I’ll be right back.”

It was half a pain in the ass and half a sense of relief to be called for
the raffle. Kei didn’t think they had figured anything out, but as he
went to accept his prize, he resolved in his heart to be more careful
around these two middle-aged men next year. Accompanying his gift
was a card that read, Please enjoy a relaxing bath time experience.
Inside the gift bag, there were… bath salts and a bath light? It was
gonna be a pain to dispose of these things. Someone who would put
in the effort to draw a bath to soak in this fancy stuff probably wasn’t
all that tired. Kei looked at his wristwatch. It was just past 10. Ushio
would be home soon.
The gift raffle ended, and all the courses plus dessert had been
served. Next up was probably a speech (a long one) from the News
Director, followed by some closing words from Shitara (probably
really only a few words). He would guess it’d take 15 minutes to
wrap up here, and then people would move to the next venue…
What should he do? It would probably be smart to show his face at
the next place before leaving. Anyway, a certain someone was
probably asleep at home right now. Kei could go bother him in his
sleep in the middle of the night later.

After settling on his plans, his cell phone started vibrating from the
inner pocket of his jacket. After checking the caller, Kei excused
himself to go to the bathroom and sneaked out of the restaurant.

Was he calling to let him know that he arrived at the airport? It’d be
pretty late if he was.

“Oh, hey, perfect timing.”

Ushio was standing right in front of Kei’s eyes. He had his cell phone
up against one ear, and it was calling the cell phone vibrating against
Kei’s chest.

“…Why are you here?”

“You saw me off last time, and so I thought I’d come get you,” Ushio
answered lightly. “Let’s go,” he said and started walking.

“Okay.”

Kei followed him without a second thought. He didn’t even think

about the next venue for the party, or even his coat hanging up
against the restaurant wall. Ushio stopped in front of a car parked at
a meter on the side of the road and pulled out a card.

“What’s this?”
When did he get a car?

When he repeated his question aloud, Ushio replied, “I signed up for

a car sharing service. I picked it up from a lot in the neighborhood.”

The card apparently acted as the key for the car. Ushio got into the
driver’s seat and unlocked the front passenger door. Kei quickly slid
into the seat. Before they were able to take off, this time Kei’s work
phone started vibrating.

“Who is it?”

“Minagawa… He’s probably looking for me.”

Kei wondered what he should do, but he really didn’t want to go back
to the party.

“…Hey!”

While Kei hesitated not knowing what to do, Ushio suddenly took the
cell phone from his hands and answered it.

“Hello? Yeah, it’s me. Can I ask you for a favor? It seems like
Kunieda-san got a little too drunk. He suddenly wasn’t feeling very
well, so I decided to take him home. …Yeah. That’s right. Alright,
thanks, bye.”

Kei wasn’t able to get a word into the conversation, but somehow
everything was resolved without him. He was able to handle
everything in such a levelheaded manner, he didn’t need to keep
using what Kei did against him anymore.

“He said he’d take care of everything for you. He’ll explain why you
left and keep your coat for you until Monday. Anyway, what’s that
you’re holding?” Ushio glanced at the paper bag sitting in Kei’s lap.
“I won it in the gift raffle. It’s supposed to be bath goods, like a light
and stuff.”

“Nice.”

“It’s a terrible prize. I don’t need any of it.”

“Really?”

Now that their problem was resolved, Kei thought that they would
return straight to Ushio’s house, but the route seemed to be taking
them farther off the direct path home.

“Where are we going?”

“I thought I’d take the opportunity to kidnap Kunieda-san for a while.”

“Wherever you plan to go, I’m not getting out of the car.”

“That’s fine.”

The car stopped at a cluster of warehouses sitting along a canal. At

this time of night, there was no sign of people around.

“What’s here?”

“Nothing, that’s why I picked this place. Kunieda-san gets too

nervous when there are people around.”

Ushio unbuckled his seatbelt, reached into the backseats searching

for something, and pulled out two stainless steel insulated travel
mugs.

“I brought coffee for us.”

Oh, is this a date? But you know, it’s a dreary location full of concrete
and stagnant water. And it looks like I might witness the mafia
coming to conduct their business here.

But it’s a date. Every time I let my guard down, you come up with
something new and surprising.

Kei didn’t speak and just sat next to Ushio sipping his coffee.

“Let me see your bath goods.”

“Don’t open it up.”

“But you’re not gonna use it anyway, right?”

Ushio carefully unwrapped the box that was in the bag, and inside
there was a small light about 10 cm2 in diameter.

“Oh, there are already batteries inside.”

There was only a small on-off switch, and there was no need to read
the instructions. Ushio switched it on, and the narrow car interior was
suddenly filled with distorted dots of light.

“This is nice.”

Shutting off the interior car light, the front windshield of the car
turned completely dark, and tiny spots of light floated through the
darkness, slowly rotating like they were wandering through the night.
Whether they had trapped the light inside, or they were trapped
inside the light, he couldn’t say. Everything overlapped and blurred
together.

Ushio let the light roll onto the floor of the car and twisted his body to
drape over the front passenger seat.

Just on the verge of kissing, a small light shined on his lips like a
beacon.
I’m home, he said, the light passing over Ushio’s face; Welcome
home, he said, the light passing over Kei’s face. It wasn’t very bright,
but it made Kei scrunch up his eyes. Ushio was finally home.

And later when they returned to the house together, there were
warm, fluffy blankets waiting for them.

Story 4: No Need For Anything Else

Author’s Note: This is the revised version of the Christmas story that
I had written for a booklet that was given out at one of my meet and
greets—and a companion New Year’s story. I wanted a very
indulgently cute cover with pink as the featured color. By the way, Mr.
and Mrs. Kunieda were classmates in high school—which is a fairly
mundane setup that I had thought up for them.

Illustrator’s Note: Since this story is based on an existing novel, I

tried my best to make something very sweet and romantic. I had
planned to draw something with pancakes, but I drew the whipped
cream… and it was like, someone likes whipped cream a lot… (me)
…and probably really wants Ushio to make sweets for him… and so
it seemed to be enough.

First published in 2014 in the doujinshi No Need For Anything Else.

Translator Note: This story takes place after Volume 1 and the side
story This Little Light of Mine. You can find a reference to this title in
Volume 1 Chapter 9 when Ushio tells Kei that he did a good job on
TV.

Part 1: All I Need

—–Translated by daydrop. Please read on the original site at
daydrop.nowaki.net.

“Come down to Asahi TV this Christmas! For 9 special days from the
18th to the 26th, there will be all sorts of special events held at the
Nine Garden in front of the Asahi TV building!1 Come see the
beautiful Christmas tree illumination display, try the special limited
sweets that you can only find at the event, and even take pictures at
the studios of your favorite shows! Have a fun time with loved ones,
families, and friends!”

Starting mid-November, this commercial ran constantly on the air

(especially during the daytime), and Kei couldn’t help but wonder if
their business department had their heads on straight. They couldn’t
be making money airing commercials for their own event all the time.
But then again, they were mobilizing their own employees for it—it
only meant a little more overtime. If they had called in outside talent,
they would have to pay appearance fees.

“Excuse me, did everyone get a handout?”

The director of the Production Department held up some papers

stapled together. Kei pretended to look carefully through the
handouts, but sitting next to him, Tatsuki was fiddling with the paper,
folding up the corners into triangles for no reason. Unlike their
meetings for The News, Asou wasn’t in attendance, and Tatsuki
looked even more relaxed than usual. Anyway, if he was busy then
he was busy.

“This year our network has decided to put on a special Christmas

event. We will be collaborating with a number of famous restaurants
and dessert shops—they will appear both at the event and in
featured TV tie-in spots, further strengthening our TV business
strategy. It will allow us to have more familiarity with our existing
audience and at the same time invite new viewers who might
normally prefer other stations to take another look at us. We will also
have the actual sets used on the shows for display, and there will be
booths where guests can get their pictures taken. In line with this, I
would like to ask for the full cooperation from everyone in the
announcer department. The ladies will be selling next year’s
calendar featuring all our women announcers, and they will also hold
a meet and greet. As for our renowned hottie gentlemen announcers
at Asahi TV—”

Why the hell are you using slang here? No one’s gonna laugh, Kei
thought, but then Tatsuki let out a “Haha—” in a voice that was
neither fake nor jeering, and it helped cut through the awkward
atmosphere.

“—they will be participating in our very special limited Announcer

Cafe. Of course, all of the cooking will be done by other people, but
you will be taking part as waiters and counter staff making latte art…
essentially drawing pictures with foamed milk. We will set aside time
for training sessions with a barista. I understand that everyone has
their own shows and schedules to deal with, so please be assured
that we arranged the shift schedules to be the least disruptive as
possible. Our target audience will be mainly ladies between the ages
of 20 to 50. Please express your daily on-screen brilliance to all of
our guests off screen IRL in real time.”

Seriously, you’re not funny. And how much are you gonna put us to
work?

Looking at the shift schedule, Kei had 2-hour shifts nearly every day
either in the morning or afternoon. On the weekend, he was
scheduled for full evening shifts. Even if it didn’t directly conflict with
the nightly news broadcasts, Kei was going to have to smile at
strangers for a good chunk of his time. It was going to be exhausting.

So basically they were using the network’s site, resources and staff
to put on this event, they’d have tie-up programs where they can
also air valuable, related commercials, and the food stalls and
booths were all priced on the slightly exorbitant side—they’d
probably make a nice profit in the end. And if they could get
someone with a good image to project the message that everyone
could come have fun at the event, they’d be rolling in sponsors too.

If I were the president, I’d give it the green light. I’d milk it for all its
worth.

But of course he wasn’t happy as the one being milked.

“I think it’s better than a meet and greet at least,” Tatsuki said as they
ate a late lunch/early dinner in the empty cafeteria a little past 5 pm.
“There are always weird perverts and gropers who go to those
things.”

“If they ever forced us to do something like that, I’ll jump ship over to
NHK.”

Kei could say it aloud in a low voice. There was no one around and
they were sitting at a table in the corner.

“But I don’t really hate these culture festival type of events. Anyway,
Christmas doesn’t fall on a convenient day of the calendar this year,
so I don’t really have any plans. I’m just gonna think of it like a part-
time job.”2

“Heh. Well, I hate it. Committee members, opening staff, whatever,

all wearing matching T-shirts and pretending to bond over a shared
activity they don’t actually care about. And behind closed doors,
they’re having flings and whatnot all over the place.”

“But it’s easy for love to bloom when people are working together in
such close proximity, just like it did for us once upon a time.”

“The only part of that stupid sentence that wasn’t fake was the
‘working together’ bit. Die.”
“You’re such a tease, haha. Oh, by the way, is Tsuzuki-san still busy
with his project?”

“Huh?”

“Uh, well I heard that he’s making an animation for the tree display at
our event.”

“Tell me,” Kei said as he maintained his very careful smile in case
there were any witnesses around. “How the hell do you know what
projects he’s working on right now?”

“Uh, we chat on LINE. ShitaraP gave me his ID.”

“Why?”

“Well I’m the type who values connections and relationships… Oh,
don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m doing it to get close to you to
become like brothers or something. Anyway, isn’t it something you’d
normally talk about? What do you do when you see each other? Just
have sex?”

Is there any way I can kill him before the year ends?

“So, about his project—”

Kei was about to pry more details out of Tatsuki, but then a squad of
women announcers came up to their table.

“Hey, what are you two doing hiding in the corner eating?”

“Talking about something you can’t say in front of others?”

You all look ridiculous with your exaggerated puffy eye makeup,3 Kei
thought to himself. He smiled at the women with a touch of shyness
and responded, “I was just asking about highlights of the
Bundesliga.”4

The man himself readily admitted it when Kei went to question him at
his house.

“Oh, that’s the one they’ll be showing on the side of the Asahi TV
building. It’s the first time that I’ve ever done 3D projection mapping,
so I’m pretty excited to see how it looks at the event. There are also
other filmmakers who contributed clips that I want to see.”

“When did you get the job?”

“I got the request around Golden Week,5 and I’ve been working on it
since then. People really liked the opening that I did for The News,
and so they asked for a Christmas version.”

“I didn’t see you filming at all.”

“I decided to do full CG this time. It was nice because I could go over

to the production studios whenever I wanted to use some software
that I didn’t have. It’s funny, when I want to add analog-type effects
using CG, it’d take like a full day to do, and I’d wonder if it’s really
worth it at that point. I kept thinking to myself that it’d be faster just to
film it, but I’d say it was a good experience and I learned a lot from
it.”

Ushio’s work was pretty much done on the project; all that was left
was to do some test projection runs, and if there were no major
issues, then wait for the event to arrive.

“Want to go see it together?”

“No way, it’ll be really crowded. Anyway…”

“Hmm?”

“How much did you get for it?”

“For my commission? Nowhere near the level of Announcer

Kunieda’s December bonus.”

“Liar. They must have purchased all the rights to it. It can’t be that
low.”

“It’s really not that much since we’re talking about a 30 to 60-second
clip. You’d have to be a powerhouse in the industry to get anywhere
near 10 million yen6 for a single job.”

Depending on the contract, once a job was accepted, there might not
be any income until the job was complete. It wasn’t a great career
choice in that respect. This time Shitara was attached to the project
and so he had made things easier, but Ushio talked about the
headaches he got each time he had contract negotiations with
clients.

Kei responded offhandedly. “Hmnnn… By the way.”

“Hmm?”

“You don’t really talk about your work much.”

This was the first time he heard about Ushio traveling outside for a
job. In comparison, Kei talked about his work almost everyday—
mostly to complain and badmouth people.

“Well, I mainly work alone by myself. Even if I showed you the

motions that I was thinking about or the filters that I wanted to use, I
don’t think you’d be too interested.”
“I don’t mean technical talk about your work. Maybe things like ideas
of you want to make next or what you’re trying to do for the project
you’re working on.”

“Oh…”

It was a very unenthusiastic response.

“I’m pretty bad at that kind of thing. I don’t really know how to
describe the ideas I have in my head. It’s probably faster for me to
work on the thing and show it to people. Anyway, if I talk about my
ideas, I’ll probably lose the motivation to work on it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well if I explain everything, it somehow feels like it’s fully formed at

that point. Kinda like reading a guide book for a vacation spot and
then losing interest in going there.”

I don’t really get it.

But Kei thought that maybe there was a part of Ushio that was wired
in a more complicated way than even Kei was inside and that was
where he created his art.

“Anyway, I didn’t know that you wanted to know everything about me

so badly. Are you always thinking about me, wondering what I’m
doing when we’re apart?”

“That’s not why I’m asking, stupid!!”

It was just that he felt it was a little unfair that he had to hear about
the job from Minagawa, and he was unhappy that— Well maybe he
wasn’t wrong. Ugh, nevermind.

“Don’t worry, you’re the one who knows everything best.”

“Whatever, it’s probably something stupid…”

“Like all of my favorite kinks.”

“Ugh, of course, it’s something really stupid!”

Whoops, I don’t have time to bicker with him.

“I’m using the kitchen!” Kei declared and pulled out the contents of a
bag that he was carrying. There was a small stainless pitcher and a
—

“What’s that? A premium cleaning wand?”

“What a sad existence it is to work from home all the time.”

It’s the first time I’ve seen one too though. I can’t believe they sell
them at the 100 yen shops. I love you, 100 yen shops!7

“This is a milk frother.”

Let me tell it to you like an English instructor.

“Oh, really? So what are you gonna do with it?”

“Latte art practice.”

Kei started to make a concentrated instant coffee and poured some

milk in a mug to heat in the microwave.

“Is this what you’re doing for the Christmas event? Won’t you get
training classes for it?”

Kei sighed at Ushio.

Of course he doesn’t understand, he thought as he shook his head.

“That sigh sounded really patronizing just now.”

“I have to practice now in order to stand out in the training class, of

course. Having people tell me, ‘Wow, you’re so good, I would have
never guessed this was your first time doing this~,’ is the lowest
hurdle that I have to clear.”

“Wow, you’re such a hard-working idiot~”

“Shut up.”

Kei poured the heated milk into the pitcher, turned on the frother, and
the small round coil at the end of the thin rod started to vibrate.
Submerging it into the milk created little waves on the white liquid
surface.

“I want to make the Phoenix Hall at the Byodoin Temple by the end
of this.”8

“Who are you trying to impress anyway? People are gonna look at
you funny, just give it up. Making a heart or a leaf will be more than
enough.”

Once the pitcher was filled with a delicate foam, Kei tapped the
bottom on the counter to level it off.

Now here comes the hard part.

Kei tilted the cup that was shallowly filled with coffee and started to
pour the milk from a fairly high point above it. He brought the pitcher
down in a swift motion to pour the foam towards the center of the
cup, forming a—

“…The foam’s not floating.”

“Let me try.”
Ushio checked a few how-to videos on his smartphone, nodding his
head as he made another cup of coffee and poured in the remaining
steamed milk from the pitcher. From what Kei could tell, there wasn’t
much difference between Kei’s movements and Ushio’s, but sitting in
the middle of the cup was a crisp, round circle like an Othello game
piece.

“…And then I think you do this.”

Ushio lifted the pitcher, moving the spout like he was tracing the
design in the air, cutting across the circle, and amazingly formed a
heart shape in the cup.

“So that’s how it works, this is pretty interesting. I think I can probably
make a leaf after a couple of tries.”

“…It’s not a damn bit interesting to me!”

It was frankly irritating.

“Maybe I should help out at the Asahi TV cafe. They’re not gonna
staff it up with only announcers, right? If they pay about 1,000 yen9
an hour, I’ll do it. I have free time anyway.”

Kei tried imagining Ushio dressed in a garçon uniform.

“No, not a chance!!”

“Why not?”

“You’ll steal my spotlight, dammit!”

“You have that little confidence in yourself?”

“Dumbass,” Kei emphatically put the stress on the word. “There’s no

comparison between you, someone decidedly average, and me.
Anyway, my expectations are on a different level than yours. When
I’m being asked to give 60 points on top of the 70 points that I’m
currently giving, compared to the people who are at 30, 40, or even
65 points, they’re gonna be at an overwhelming advantage, of
course!”

“I’m not quite convinced that it’s much harder when there’s a 5 point
difference, but if you’re really that worried about people seeing me at
the cafe, I suppose I’ll let you off this time.”

“I’m not worried—”

“Hey, aren’t you going to practice? Let’s clean this up first.”

They stood drinking each other’s lattes. It was instant coffee, but it
didn’t taste too bad after mixing it with the milk that they had spent
time foaming. But still, Kei couldn’t drink too much of it.

“I think my limit is maybe 3 or 4 cups a day. Anyway, the training

class should be right before the event. If I practice every day, I
should be good…”

Ushio laughed a little while listening to Kei work out the details of his
plan.

“What?”

“I was just thinking that it didn’t cross your mind to throw away the
practice cups without drinking them.”

“Of course not. Huh, what? Would you throw them out?”

“Nope.”

“See?”

“Well I’m decidedly average, after all.”

“I don’t think you quite get what the term means.”

“I do, I’m just a little relieved to see that you actually have some
middle-class common sense.”

“What!? Do you think I don’t have any common sense!?”

“Try to remember the night of our second meeting.”

“I forgot it.”

Kei believed he should ignore anything that wasn’t in his best

interest, and so he downed the rest of his latte and began making
another cup of coffee. He also microwaved another cup of milk.

“…Oi.”

When Kei grabbed the frother, for some reason Ushio pressed up
from behind him.

“Let me give you some tips.”

“I want to do it myself. …And you’re making it hard to move.”

“Don’t get so tense.”

Why does he have this supernatural ability to guess what I’m

thinking while he’s up in my personal space like this?

“I’m not tense.”

Hmmm, I might have overheated this milk a little.

As Kei frothed the hot, steaming milk, Ushio wrapped his arms
around him and clasped his hands over Kei’s stomach. His fingers
were large and blunt like they were chiseled out of stone, but
whenever they moved, they were hatefully skilled in whatever they
did, and Kei knew it very well—very, very well.

“By the way…” Kei said.

“Hmm?”

Ushio only ever used a gentle voice whenever Kei was feeling
flustered.

“When did I ever tell you the details about the Christmas event?”

“Your cute, little junior colleague was the one who gave me the
details.”

“…What’s that about?”

“There’s no ulterior motive. I’m sure he doesn’t have any either. He’s
kinda like more than an acquaintance, but less than a friend?”

Fine, if that’s all it is, I don’t care, however…

“Don’t you dare breathe a word to him.”

“About what? Oh, about your special training? I won’t say a word, but
I think he’ll guess it anyway.”

“I don’t care.”

“If it’s Minagawa…” Ushio spoke with his chin placed on Kei’s
shoulder, his hair rustling against Kei’s ear. “I don’t think he’ll care if
you’re terrible at this. I think it’d actually be better to mess up during
the event so you have a funny story you can tell people later.”

“Whatever, I know I’m a pain in the ass.”

“Yeah, but I love you more when you’re a little willful and petty, so it’s
okay.”

Ushio didn’t deny that he was a pain in the ass and then described
him in even worse terms, but Kei was happy to let it all go because
of a single little phrase. Just what kind of scam was he running? As
long as it ended well, everything was okay? No, that wasn’t it.

“Hey, you’re over-foaming it.”

With the two of them pressed against each other, it felt like Ushio
could feel the racing of Kei’s heart, but when it came to Ushio, just
barely a second after saying those words, he seemed like he was
back to normal.

“I know, dammit.”

Kei rushed to pull out the milk frother and went to grab the cup of
coffee, when all of a sudden Ushio reached out to cover Kei’s hand
with his own.

“What are you doing!?”

“I said I’d show you how to do it. Here, the cup should be at this
angle. Got it?”

When Ushio squeezed down on his fingers, Kei felt like it was his
mouth feeling the pressure, and he couldn’t say a word as he simply
nodded his head.

“Then you hold the pitcher like this.”

Ushio similarly directed Kei’s hand holding the pitcher and lifted it.
The milk cleanly dropped into the coffee with a precision that Kei
didn’t have, and the coffee whirled and turned a light caramel color.

“Then you swiftly bring it down.”

A round disk of foam materialized on the surface of the coffee.

“Oh.”

Kei was about to say, I did it, but then Ushio suddenly moved the
pitcher around in a zigzag.

“Hey!”

The thin white film all at once turned into a soft marble pattern.

“What are you doing!?”

“Recreating the Ghost scene.”

“They were making pottery in that.”

“Yeah… Hey, your hands are a little dry.”

“There are a lot of people at work coming down with a cold or the flu.
I’ve been disinfecting my hands every chance I get.”

He did think that they were all idiots falling sick one after the other
and who couldn’t take care of themselves, but it was also a seasonal
pattern that couldn’t be helped. Particularly with the end of the year,
contractors were running between all of the stations working on the
different TV specials, and the number of people coming in and out
the building was crazier than usual.

“I’ll put hand cream on them for you later.”

“Do it now.”

“Later.”

He couldn’t ask why.

Ushio nudged the hood of Kei’s sweatshirt out of the way and
touched the tip of his nose to the nape of Kei’s neck. It always felt
cool to the touch, and Ushio reminded him of a dog in that respect.
During sex when Kei saw a bead of sweat develop on that preciously
chilled nose, there were times that he felt overcome by his emotions,
that there was no going back, that this, that everything could never
be undone. There were no regrets, no hesitation, just a hazy path
that he strolled along, that as he looked back he realized that the
high tide had come in and swept away all of his footprints, leaving
him no way to return to where he came from.10

But he wasn’t afraid.

“I love your smell, here at your neck,” Ushio whispered. He had put
his arms around Kei again, holding him without Kei realizing it. His
voice sounded halting and innocent, like how a small child would say
they loved dogs or they loved curry.

“So you don’t like anything else, huh?”

“I like this in particular.”

Kei started to get embarrassed, never aware that his neck had
emitted a smell before now.

“…I do wash there.”

“That’s not what I meant. Though I like it when you come over
without taking a bath first too.”

“Pervert!”

“Why?”

“Fine, you have no common sense…”

“I think it’s within permissible limits. Anyway, it makes two of us.”

Ushio rolled up the bottom of Kei’s sweatshirt, and his hands were
hot against his bare skin. Maybe it was because of the coffee.

“Hey,” Kei admonished.

“Training fee.”

“I didn’t learn anything!”

The white foam bubbles were still gently swirling on the surface of
the coffee. Kei started to get dizzy looking down at it.

“When I have caffeine, my eyes become wide awake,” Ushio

whispered, playfully nibbling at the nape of Kei’s neck. “…So you
better take responsibility for it.”

“Alright—”

The stainless steel countertop was cold when Kei placed his hands
down on it. But he knew that he would heat up so much that it would
soon fog over.

A few days later, when he went over to Ushio’s house, he was

surprised to find a large espresso machine gracing the kitchen. It
was probably a smaller model compared to the larger machines that
were available, but it looked especially majestic, all shiny and bright
in the old, narrow space.

“This is…?”

“I bought it,” Ushio answered casually.

“What!?”

“If you’re going to practice, then you should use an actual machine
that makes what you need. Here, there’s a steam nozzle that you
can use to make your steamed milk whenever you need it.”

“That’s true, but…”

Ushio could see Kei’s reservations for such a large purchase,

especially for a few hours a day for a limited number of practice
days. He added, “I’m gonna use it too. Don’t worry, it’s not that
expensive. Just think of it as an early Christmas present.”

“…Okay.”

It’s not like I’m unhappy about it, but I haven’t even thought about
what to you get you yet, and you just casually gift me a Christmas
present out of thin air. An espresso machine’s not bad. I’ll give you
marks for both sentimental value and utility, and the price is enough
to show off without going overboard; I suppose I’ll give you a passing
grade for it.

So now what am I supposed to do?

“Let me make you your first cup.”

Kei watched Ushio’s back as he smoothly operated the brand-new

machine, seemingly already familiarized with it, and he wondered
what Ushio would want for a Christmas present. The most important
items in the house were probably his computer equipment. Kei had
no clue about professional specs, and it was probably too expensive
anyway. Closely related to it was probably software, but it seemed
too dull and impersonal to give as a gift. Kei wanted to surprise
Ushio a little—but maybe that was his competitiveness talking.

Ushio didn’t really care about clothes or shoes, and he didn’t wear
watches because it would interfere with his work. Then what about
some nice items he can have around the house? Towels and
linens…were too mundane and practical. Dinnerware or glassware?
Maybe a demitasse set…but it’d be too cute for their tastes.
Whatever Kei tried to come up with, they all lacked an element of
surprise. Knowing Ushio, he would probably be happy with whatever
Kei picked out for him, but Kei didn’t want to give him something
unless he was satisfied with his choice. That was why he was
mulling over it so carefully.

“It’s almost ready.”

“Mnn.”

There wasn’t a proper dining set or anything at Ushio’s house, just a

folding table and two round folding stools placed by the kitchen. And
they were all made by different companies; even a set used for
camping would be nicer than the ones he used. The indifference
towards these particulars just somehow seemed to fit this space. It
looked random, but it didn’t seem cheap—or maybe that was his
bias showing.

Ugh, I need to settle down.

“It’s done.”

Sitting on the plywood tabletop were two mugs poured with a design
more elaborate than he’d seen in previous days.

“It’s Asazou…!”11

Ahhh, I lost to him again. He’s too goddamn cute.

“I used a muddler and a toothpick to fiddle with the foam to make it.”

“…Does it take a long time?”

“You want to learn how to make it?”

“Yeah.”

He loved it far more than the millions of hearts or the leaves that he’d
seen.

“I can teach it to you, but it’ll be an additional fee.”

“How much more are you gonna squeeze from me!?”

They faced each other drinking their cappuccinos, and Ushio took
out his cell phone.

“I got a message from Minagawa on LINE… ‘They’re making me

host The Funniest News Awards on New Year’s Eve. I’m gonna die.’”

“Tell him he deserves it.”

“Why? Is it something they air every year?”

“Yup.”

It was a TV special that collected all the funny news clips and on-air
bloopers in the past year from Asahi TV and their nationwide-
affiliated stations. It was essentially a recycled clip show that they
showed for 3 hours in the afternoon on New Year’s Eve—something
that was fun to watch while lazing around under a kotatsu.

“If you tell him he deserves it, won’t he dig up your bloopers and air
them?”

“I haven’t made a single mistake this year that would make me a

laughingstock.”

The final broadcast of the year for The News was Friday the 26th,
which coincided with the start of Kei’s winter break. He wasn’t
assigned any overnight duties during the last two weeks of the year,
and he was going to enjoy his well-deserved, 9-day break.

“Hmmm, seems like there’s a big disparity between how announcers

are treated.”

“Dummy, he’s still green behind the ears, so of course the network’s
gonna work him like a dog.”

“He’s not that much younger than you.”

“I also had to do all sorts of things for New Years in the past. There
was the time I did a live report from the ground on the radio covering
the New Year’s sunrise, but it turned out to be cloudy that day, or the
time that I climbed Mt. Fuji with the Self-Defense Forces to welcome
the sunrise on live TV.”12

“Oh, Mt. Fuji sounds nice.”

“You gotta be kidding me. It was the middle of winter, and I thought I
was gonna die. If I ever run into Mt. Fuji again on the street, I’m
gonna smack ‘em one.”

“How are you supposed to run into it on the street?”

“Anyway, I’ve put in my dues, and I can finally laze around all New
Year’s break!”

However, if he rose any higher in the ranks, he might be pulled by

both sides to do things, so he had to tread carefully.

“On the off chance that something happens, I’m gonna head over to
my parents’ house on the 28th so that they can’t call me into the
studio—”

And then Kei realized something.

“What are you doing for New Year’s?” he asked.

“Nothing really.” Ushio slowly stirred his cappuccino with his muddler,
the traces of the Asazou art long gone from the cup. “Just my normal
schedule. I prefer to travel during the off-season. It’s not any
different.”

“What about your family?”

“It’s too much of a pain to go there.”

A pain—it was surprising to hear such an apathetic tone of voice

from Ushio, but Kei could tell that he didn’t want to talk about it. And
so Kei responded with a simple “Hmmm.” Was the traffic bad? Did
they not get along? Were the living conditions poor? It was easy to
imagine any number of possible reasons. But Kei didn’t know a
single thing about Ushio’s family.

I think I remember that he had a grandmother?

Kei loved his parents’ house. Maybe love wasn’t the right word to
describe it, but as long as he could ignore his mother’s complaints,
all his needs were taken care of for him, and it was all free. Most
importantly, he could be himself there. It was everything he needed
for a short breather away from his everyday life.

But it looked like it wasn’t the case for Ushio. It wasn’t rare for people
to have difficult relationships with their families. Besides, Ushio was
a full-grown adult. However, that night, glimmers of roughness
lingered through Kei’s heart like coffee grounds that couldn’t be
filtered.

The swing into December brought the annual flurry of holiday and
end-of-year preparations. There were the year-end tax adjustment
filings (this didn’t take too long), New Year’s greeting cards to write
(this horrible custom could burn in hell), and all the special year-end
plans for The News, whether it be meetings, on-location
assignments, or narration recording sessions. There were also
training sessions slotted into his schedule, but he had literally put his
body on the line in one-on-one preparation sessions in his private
time, and thankfully he was able to clear the training easily.

“I’d like to go to the cafe to see how well my apprentice does after
giving him my guidance.”

“No way, no how, never.”

His shifts were scattered all over the timetable, but Tatsuki would
probably tell Ushio whatever he wanted to know. In the meantime,
Kei was wracking his brain for ideas that would persuade him not to
come. That was when he received a text message from Ushio on the
18th, the day before the cafe’s grand opening.

“Got a fever. It’s the flu. You’re banned from coming over for a while.”

Kei almost exclaimed, What the hell, forgetting that he was at work.

I’m a little disappointed, but at the same time, I’m kind of a terrible
person for feeling relieved. Even if his temperature goes back to
normal, there are still a couple of days it can be contagious. It’s
probably a good idea to stay away until the final broadcast of the
year wraps up. No matter what, as a TV presenter, I can’t afford to
get the flu at this time of year. I’m so busy anyway, maybe it’s good
timing?

“I hear Tsuzuki-san has the flu,” Tatsuki said, coming up to Kei in

between customers at the cafe.

Kei smiled and replied, “You’re well-informed.”

Translation: Why the hell do you know that?

“I messaged him on LINE inviting him out for end-of-the-year drinks if
he didn’t have any plans, and he said he was sick in bed. That’s
kinda worrisome. I wonder where he caught it from.”

“Hmmm, but I think he will be alright.”

Translation: Shut up, it’s none of your damn business.

“Okay then, I’m gonna reply back and say we should try again after
the new year!”

“How very diligent of you.”

Translation: Ugh, can’t you take a hint? You’re annoying.

“By the way, Kunieda-san, aren’t your bangs in the way? I can lend
you one of these that I’m using. A girl from the reception area was
the one who lent them to me first though.” Tatsuki pointed to the
three hair clips holding back his bangs.

How clever. How very clever. I bet he’s thinking how cute he looks
for everyone.

“No, thank you. It wouldn’t look as good on me as it does on you.”

Translation: I don’t wanna be grouped together with your stupid-

looking face.

“I bet you’ll look fine. Here, come on.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I have to go get an order.”

Kei evaded Tatsuki’s hand and turn up his charm, more worthy than
80+ points.
Late at night after his on-air broadcast, Kei knew full well that it
wasn’t the best time to be calling a sick person, but he really needed
to find out how Ushio was doing.

“Hello?”

“…Were you sleeping?”

“Yeah, but I feel like I’ve been in bed all day that I can’t tell if I’ve
been asleep or awake.”

Ushio’s voice sounded driftless, like it was lost in the middle of the
ocean. He was probably still lightheaded from the fever.

“How was the first day of the cafe?”

“I’m so exhausted I don’t want to smile for another second this year.”

“But you only just started. …Ahhhh, I wish I could have gone to see
you. Is this a curse you put on me?”

“I didn’t curse you!”

Kei couldn’t help his sudden outburst.

Ushio responded with a “What?” and a soft laugh that sounded

weaker than usual. “It’s a joke; nothing you have get worked up
about. You’re tired, right? Hurry up and go to bed.”

“Ok, I’ll go, but… I was wondering if you had enough water and food
at your place.”

Kei knew that Ushio had a tendency to hole up at his house, never
stocking up on supplies and only buying things as he needed.
“Yeah… But I can stop by the convenience store if I need to.”

“You’re sick, don’t go outside if you don’t need to. I can do whatever
shopping you need.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’d feel terrible if you were to catch the flu from
me. I don’t want to cause any trouble for Shitara-san.”

“I can leave the things by the front door and be out in 5 seconds.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to.” Ushio’s voice hardened. “I’m not a little
kid, and I’m not gonna topple over just going out to get stuff.”

“And I’m not gonna catch your flu just by delivering some groceries
for you! Why are you being so stubborn?” Kei accused, despite his
own perpetual stubbornness.

“‘Cause I hate it,” Ushio replied, not mincing any words. “I don’t like it
when people are around when I’m sick. It bothers me and I can’t
think straight— Anyway, don’t worry about me. Good luck with your
work.”

“…Fine.”

Kei would have argued further if Ushio was merely being stubborn or
putting on a front, but the reason he gave was blunt and direct, that
this was who he was, and there was nothing Kei could say about it,
especially when Ushio accepted Kei for his own peculiarities.

Kei ended the call and muttered, “What are you, a wild animal?”
Scurrying away to hole up in his den and lick his wounds by himself.

So you don’t like having people around. I get it. But I’m not just any
person to you, right? Just like how you are to me—

But Kei was too much of a coward to ask Ushio this question. With
the temperatures of his body and his head approaching boiling, Kei
feared he’d only get a scathing response.

Ushio was gentle and kind. But there was a secretive and
complicated side to him that was difficult to deal with. Every time he
confronted it, he could only get through to the surface, and he could
only face the acute realization at how sorely lacking his people skills
actually were. But of course, he knew that he was special in that he
even knew about this side that Ushio had.

Tatsuki had wondered where he had caught the flu from. Ushio had
asked if it was a curse. It wasn’t something Kei was seriously worried
about, and there was no point in worrying about it anyway. However,
there was the possibility that maybe Kei had brought the virus into
Ushio’s house.

That was another reason why he had wanted to see him, even if it
was only for 5 seconds or 3 seconds or whatever.

“Come down to Asahi TV this Christmas!”

The TV was playing in the background with its volume lowered,

showing the commercial that he was fed up with seeing all the time.

“Ugh, shut up,” Kei muttered as he stabbed the remote control button
to turn the TV off.

Christmas? What’s so great about Christmas?

If he ran across an old man with reindeer on the street, he was

gonna punch him.

It was the 24th, and the Christmas Eve broadcast had just wrapped
up. The ADs were hastily passing out paper cups and paper plates
to everyone. A large cake had been brought into the studio along
with a whole roasted chicken and sandwiches from catering, laid out
on a table. Tatsuki looked happily at the spread, saying, “Ooh, what’s
this?”

“Is everyone here? Did we get everyone from the control room?”

Shitara stepped out into the middle of the studio and bowed to the
room. “Thank you everyone for your hard work this year. I thought
we’d have a little Christmas party and an early final meeting of the
year. Oh, if you have plans, you’re free to leave. After our final
broadcast on the 26th, we can all go home; there’ll be no review
meeting afterwards. Nothing to review, nope!”

A large applause broke out in the studio.

“Alright then, Merry Christmas everybody!”

There were the sounds of several champagne bottles popping open.

“Kunieda-san, want me to pour you some champagne?”

“Oh, no, thank you. I’m not feeling very well right now.” There was
nothing fun about drinking alcohol at work, so he declined the AD’s
offer and accepted some oolong tea instead. Kei wanted to go home,
but with the festive mood, it was too difficult to excuse himself when
everyone was enjoying the party. He nodded along to Tatsuki’s
rambling, wondering when he could finally leave. It was after 11:30
when suddenly someone ran into the studio.

“Shitara-san, excuse me. Would it be possible to borrow one of your

announcers?”

“Oh, did something happen?”

“We don’t have anyone for the late night news. We found our
announcer passed out in the bathroom. I think he either has a cold or
the flu.”
Not again.

“There’s no one on overnight duty?”

“It looks like a lot of announcers have been out sick, and we only
have the one person. He’s already been called to help out on the
radio.”

“How about I go on?” Asou offered.

But Shitara smiled wryly and said, “I’m not so sure about that.”

He had far too much presence and name recognition to be reading

news stories for a 5-minute short news segment.

“If it gets back to the big boss, I’ll probably be yelled at later. I
suppose that leaves Kunieda or Minagawa…”

“…Hic!” Tatsuki hiccuped, having already emptied about half of a

champagne bottle.

“Ahh, he can’t go on the air like this. Sorry, Kunieda, can you help
out?”

“Yes, it’ll be no problem.”

While Kei had accepted the assignment graciously, he was of course

very unhappy about it inside. How could every one of them fall down
like dominos, didn’t they have any concept of what it was to be a
professional? Ahhh, he knew he should have run away at the very
beginning. Not that he had any plans. He didn’t know how far Ushio’s
dislike for people around him extended, and so he hadn’t been able
to bring himself to text him either.

He had to be on the air at 11:55, and they were cutting it close. Kei
headed to the other studio and sat down to study the copy of the
news script. It was five stories of straight news and then the weather.
It would be a piece of cake, but he was annoyed that he had to clean
up another person’s mess. However, he kept his irritation to himself
as he marked in red pen the tricky pronunciation and pauses
between words that he wanted to make note of.

“Kunieda, sorry for the sudden notice.”

A guy from the news desk clapped his hands in apology and came
up to Kei.

“It’s no problem.”

“But it’s kinda nice to have Kunieda Kei read the news for this little
segment, kinda like a special Christmas edition.”

“Ahaha.”

And I want to string you up. From the Christmas tree outside.

“Please stand by!”

Kei put on a pin mic and sat at the table that was set up for a single
shot on the set. When the 10-second countdown started, he blinked
his eyes shut for a few seconds and put on his TV face for the
camera. After a 5-second title transition, the camera opened on Kei.
He lightly nodded his head and introduced the segment.

“We have a number of news stories at this time to report.”

The arrest of a murder suspect, a traffic accident, a fire, a jewelry

store heist, then finally a special story from the network.

“Today is Christmas Eve, and crowds filled with families and couples
gathered all day to watch the special 3D projection show and
Christmas light display at the Christmas Garden held outside at the
Asahi TV building.”
After reading the lead-in, the screen went to a clip. On the script, it
said, “3D projection show, 40 seconds.”

The side of the familiar Asahi TV building appeared on screen. And

on it was a familiar pair of characters—the aliens that Ushio had
created. They were in their UFO, using a binocular telescope to
search for something in deep space. It looked like they had found
something and flew off into the distance. They ran into a giant
anglerfish swimming through space, panicking a little as they ran
away in their UFO. They landed on a planet covered with sunflowers,
a planet made out of entirely gold, but the two aliens looked at each
other and shook their heads.

Eventually they found what they were looking for. A tiny yellow planet
shining in a corner of the darkness.

As the projection of the planet crowned the top of the live Christmas
tree, the tree lit up brightly with lights. The crowd cheered and
clapped at the perfectly linked composition between the computer-
generated graphics and the real material world.

Kei had been too busy to see this 3D projection show.

“It was really pretty!”

“I was really amazed. It was wonderful.”

Kei wondered if these voices had reached Ushio. Did he still find
them annoying when he wanted to be alone?

Kei wanted to see Ushio so badly that it overwhelmed him. He didn’t

care if he annoyed him, he still wanted to see him.

Even if you don’t want to see me, I want to see you.

Kei received his cue and started to read the script again.
“As the sun set for the day, magicians and jugglers dressed as Satan
came out to perform for—”

…Hmm?

What did I just say?

“—I am very sorry. Magicians and jugglers dressed as Santa came

out to perform for the crowd, capturing people’s attention and delight
despite the cold. The festivities continue until the day after tomorrow,
the evening of the 26th. That concludes the news. Next up is the
weather.”

Kei had immediately corrected his mistake, and he compensated for

the added time of the correction by increasing his reading speed.
There were no issues with time. Following the weather CG that
appeared on screen, Kei calmly read the general outlook, tomorrow’s
forecast, and the weather for the week. Then the credits rolled.

After the broadcast ended, Kei stood up and said, “I am very sorry
for the reading mistake that I made,” bowing his head down to the
staff.

“Oh, it’s okay… We were the ones who sprang this on you the last
minute. I’m sure you’re very tired. We’re only human, the best of us
will sometimes make a mistake…”

For some reason the guy from the news desk was acting strangely,
but Kei apologized again, saying, “I promise to be more careful from
now on,” and left the studio. The party seemed to still be going; there
was no one in the green room, and so Kei hurried to change,
grabbed his bag from his desk, and hailed a taxi.

If Kei were to describe his current mental state, he’d probably say it
was like all the animals at the zoo howling at once. Roaring, and
trumpeting, and chattering, and grunting, and meowing…13
Wait, there are no cats at the zoo.

…Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

Kei desperately pushed the impulse to bang his head against the taxi
window under his serious-looking expression.

I misspoke. Me of all people. And it had to be during a short news

segment where I had time to review the script. Seriously, Satan?
Messing up Santa for Satan? Your names are too damn close
together, one of you needs to change it.

Ugh, this is all your fault.

I don’t care if you’re recovered or not. If I see even a hint of sourness

on your face, I’m gonna fucking knock you down, and let’s see what
you can do about it.

Kei made up his mind, and the taxi pulled up in front of Ushio’s
house. He unlocked the front door, ran up to the second floor, and
turned on every single damn light in the room without saying a word.

“…It’s really bright. Don’t turn on all the lights.”

The owner stirred from under the covers, and from the sound of his
voice, he seemed like he was back to normal, to Kei’s immediate
relief.

“Shut up.” Kei dropped his bag and his coat on the floor. “…How are
you feeling?” he asked, plunking himself down roughly to sit on the
bed.

“Much better,” Ushio replied, like nothing had happened.

You stupid idiot, do you have any idea how I’ve been feeling all this
time?
“The Tamiflu helped a lot. …Are you angry?”

“Whatever.”

“I see. I’m sorry, Satan.”

Kei wondered if he should just dive onto the floor. He turned around
and saw Ushio’s entire body still covered in his blankets shaking
uncontrollably.

“…You!!!”

“You turned Santa into Satan…”

“Why the hell were you watching it!?”

“What’s wrong with a viewer watching TV?”

Ushio finally pushed aside the covers and burst out into laughter.
“Oh my god, I already laughed so hard I thought I was gonna die, but
seeing your face makes me want to laugh all over again.”

“How about I grant you your wish and finish you off?”

“Do you know that you’re trending #1 on social media? Satan! It’s
Christmas but Satan is trending! I’m seriously impressed. A popular
announcer can sure get people talking.”

“Shut up!!”

Hey Satan, you can go ahead and invade the world right about now.

“How long are you gonna laugh?”

Ushio grabbed the hand that Kei had thrown up and pulled Kei over
to him.
“Ahhh, I can finally see your face.”

“You’re the one who said you didn’t want to see me!”

“It was the Satan inside of me that said it.”

“You say that word one more time and I’ll murder you.”

Resting on the bed, he could feel the warmth of the mattress

underneath him due to Ushio’s nesting. Kei felt like it was ages since
he had a warm bed waiting for him this winter, but on deeper
thought, it was normal that he had always warmed up his own bed.
Kei had already forgotten what his life was like a year before this.

“…What are you doing?” Kei asked flatly.

Ushio had leaned in to undo Kei’s necktie, bringing his face so close
that Kei thought he was going to kiss him, but he just gently pressed
his forehead up against the tip of Kei’s nose.

“You don’t feel cold at all.”

“I rode a taxi here.”

“Oh, but I like it when your nose is a little cold.”

“That doesn’t make me happy.”

Whether it was the smell of his neck or the chilled feeling of his nose,
Kei was a little mortified to find that they shared a few things in
common.

Dammit, praise me in a way that satisfies my ego, will you? This

doesn’t make me happy, not one bit.

It didn’t make him happy, but it did make his heart race.
Ushio loosened Kei’s necktie, and it brushed against the back of his
neck before getting tossed to the floor. Kei closed his eyes, thinking
this time would be it, but he didn’t feel a pair of lips—it wasn’t even
human—just a cool, hard surface featherlight on his forehead.

“Huh?” Kei opened his eyes. There was a smartphone LCD screen
shining in front of his face.

Ushio took the phone back and laughed. “When I was looking
through all the hilarious Satan tweets in real time, I came upon a little
something.”

“Huh?”

Ushio pushed the phone back in front of Kei’s face, showing him a
picture that someone had tweeted.

“Ah…”

Tatsuki’s hands were stretched out towards Kei’s hair in the picture.
It was probably taken about a week ago when Tatsuki had tried to
put clips in his hair. Kei’s infallible business smile and the angle of
the photo made it look like Tatsuki was patting his head, creating a
cute and playful scene between close colleagues at the cafe. The
accompanying text even read, “Oh my god, look how close they
look,” further taking the picture out of context.

I don’t know who the hell took this picture without my consent, but I’ll
forgive it just this once. Since it’s for work, and since it’s at an event
where this kind of fan service is understood to be expected. But why
the hell would they put it up on the net? Isn’t it about time for the
anti-IT revolution?

“What are Announcer Kunieda’s thoughts on the photo?”

“Even on an amateur’s camera phone, my aura is seriously
impressive…”

“Oh? Is that all?”

A tiny wrinkle twitched at the base of his nose, but Kei told himself,
It’s fine. It’s fine. He could tell that Ushio wasn’t seriously angry. He
only wanted to tease him a little. And at the very least Kei had
learned how to read when it was okay to do so…probably.

“What do you mean, is that all? Nothing happened, and I got out of
the way before he even reached me. You’re a grown man, what are
you grumbling about?”

“Oh, I see.”

Kei watched Ushio nod, pretending to be unaffected, and he thought

to himself, My win… Who’d be able to keep a straight face, knowing
that someone was jealous over a little teasing?

“Oi, quit giving me that shit-eating grin,” Ushio said.

“Do you regret it?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s best when people are honest.”

“I don’t wanna hear that from you of all people…”

Kei wanted to tease Ushio some more, but all of his words and his
breath were sucked out from between his lips. Ushio shut him up,
taking everything he wanted, and just when Kei started to feel the
lack of oxygen, the collar of his dress shirt constricting his neck
miraculously opened up with a sense of timing that irked him. He
didn’t even feel any constriction when the fingers undid the buttons.
There was a casual deftness to his movements like peeling off a
removable label, a learned mastery that couldn’t be explained by
simple dexterity alone—and upon realizing this, Kei suddenly felt a
constriction of different sort.

Anyway, the fact that he was able to voice it freely meant that he was
in no way jealous.

“…Oi, that hurts.”

Kei had bitten Ushio’s lower lip a little too hard in a fit of anger.

“Are you hungry?”

“No, idiot.”

“Oh, so you’re turned on.”

“Even more wrong.”

“Really?”

Ushio traced over Kei’s collarbones like he could build up pleasure

there. In a one in a millionth chance, in a one in a billionth chance
that someone other than Ushio touched him like this, an Ah? (with a
rising question tone in disbelief) would probably be the only sound
that could come out of his mouth.

“…Ahh.”

Underneath the two symmetric curves jutting up under his skin, there
was another mirrored symmetry, small and still soft, rising in a light
flush. But from the moment that they were captured, little by little his
desire gathered to form a deep and sturdy core.

“Mnnh.”
Kei had heard that the Adam’s apple moved slightly differently
depending on how much the person liked what was being
swallowed. Then with all the deep breaths that he was swallowing
right now, were his muscles reacting differently than they normally
did?

“Ah…nhh…”

Ushio’s tongue was hot, licking the little budding nipple to hardness.
The sharp suction refused to let go, dragging his pleasure out from
the pit of his belly. It kept going and going, trailing out of him like
there was no end in sight, stringing up his entire body like spider silk.

“Nhh… Hey, wait…”

“Hm?”

When Kei felt a pair of hands reach for his belt, Kei mobilized his
remaining bit of reason to stop Ushio from going further.

“…The lights.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t just say ‘yeah,’ go turn them off.”

“You’re the one who turned them on.”

“I didn’t turn them on for this!”

“You’re just saying that.”

“Anyway, go turn them off!”

“I only just recovered from the flu, I still can’t get up. I feel a little
overexerted.”
“Don’t tell me such a bald-faced lie.”

“Are you really one to be saying that?”

“Shut up. …Fine, I’ll go turn them off myself.”

“O-kay.”

Ushio gave an innocent-sounding Okay, but he wouldn’t budge from

his position on top of Kei. Instead, he let his hand crawl down
between Kei’s legs over his pants.

“Ah, nooo…”

He lost all strength in his arms attempting to push Ushio’s shoulders

away.

“Aren’t you going to turn the lights off?”

“Stupid, stop that.”

The change in his shape was made more obvious with the hand
pressing down on him. Kei panicked inside, I can’t let him keep
going. He didn’t want to do it in such a glaringly bright setting, but
there was a more pressing problem at hand.

“Stop it, I’m being serious…”

“This isn’t the reaction of someone wanting me to stop.”

“Come on! Stop! Okay, fine, I’ll take my clothes off myself.”

“Oh, but it’s no trouble.”

“But it is for me! Hey, come on!”

Kei desperately tried to defend his belt, but Ushio slapped away his
hands like he was swatting flies (where was the gentleness, huh?).
Once the hatefully clever hands opened up the front of his pants,
there was nowhere he could hide under the 100% brightness of the
room.

“—Hmm?”

Ushio stared questioningly at Kei’s lower belly, but then he

immediately understood, nodding his head with an “Ohh.”

“So you’re wearing two different pairs underneath. No wonder why I

thought it felt a little different.”

How could it feel any different? They were really thin, and there was
no way anyone could tell from the outside.

“…That’s why I told you to turn off the lights, stupid!”

“Huh? Why? It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing wool underwear.”

“Don’t say it out loud, dammit!”

“No, seriously. What’s there to be embarrassed about?”

“Shut up! Go tattoo the word delicacy on your damn forehead,

stupid! Insensitive idiot! Die, bastard!”

He could suddenly have an assignment outside, he couldn’t get sick,

and he hated the damn cold. He wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t wearing it
because he liked it, okay? Dammit, he really didn’t want anyone
finding out about this.

“I’m only wearing it to take care of my health!”

“Ah, yes, you’re such a hard little worker. But idiots don’t catch colds,
you know.”
“Says the bedridden idiot who caught one!”

“But I caught the flu, not a cold.”

That just means you’re a bigger idiot.

“Haven’t you done even more embarrassing things in your life,

especially with your job?”

“Not in my life!!!”

“Really…?”

Ushio seemed to relent a little after seeing how red Kei had turned.
He said, “Alright, fine,” sighing as he got up to turn off the lights,
leaving just the lamp by the bed switched on. In the meantime, Kei
peeled off his underwear in a rush, undressing himself before hiding
under the covers.

“That was fast.” Ushio smiled wryly as he climbed onto the mattress,
leaning over Kei who had turned the other way, placing a kiss on his
temple. “Hmm, you always come over after changing and taking a
bath. Does that mean you’ve been consciously taking them off
before you come over?”

“You’re nearby, why would I take the time to put them on again?”

“Oh, no, but you could get cold after taking a bath.”

“If you keep saying silly stuff to make fun of me, I’m going home.”

“I’m not making fun of you, silly.”

“You’re making fun of me now!”

“I’m not.” Ushio blew into Kei’s ear, tickling him. “It makes me happy,”
he whispered. “That you care about what I think, that you think about
this too, keeping me in your mind.”

Kei was stunned. What the hell is this idiot talking about? Of course,
I care. Of course, I have you on my mind. Can’t you tell that I almost
always do?

“But it also makes me happy when you show me everything you’re

thinking.”

“…So difficult.”

“Yeah, I can be pretty difficult. I only realized it after we’ve been

together.”

The corner of the covers that were wrapped around Kei’s body was
slowly being pulled from under him. He was appalled that he hadn’t
noticed it until now.

“Let me in— Let me do dirty things to you, Kei.”

Ahhh, just once I want to tell him, “Get lost, idiot,” so I can laugh at
him looking all desperate and needy. And then I’d tease him bit by
excruciating bit—

But the one always being betrayed by his own desire was Kei.

He wanted dirty things done to him.

His tongue savored Ushio’s tongue, its touch hotter and heavier than
before they had paused. It was like a vein of arousal there, and Kei
greedily swallowed the saliva that steadily overflowed, a hunger
taking over him.

“Ahh, ahh…”
Ushio started playing with his nipples again, already peaked from the
earlier stimulation, using the crook of his finger like one would stroke
a cat’s chin, rubbing against his thumbs until they throbbed, overripe
and blushing, inviting more of the caresses.

“What a lewd color.”

“No…!”

Kei felt the smooth enamel of front teeth press against him, biting at
the little, naked piece of flesh, but it was done carefully so not to
cause pain. The breath against his skin was enough to make him
tremble, lips and fingers fumbling and twisting, as a free hand went
to stroke the desire straining at his lower body.

“Aahhh…”

Pleasure surged up from between his legs to the back of his head,
gradually flooding his senses. The sounds of Kei’s moans were
mottled with patches of want and impatience. He needed more, so
much more. Ushio answered the unspoken request by taking Kei’s
cock into his mouth.

“Ah, ahhh, nnnhhh—”

Ushio didn’t hold back as he licked and mouthed him all over, the
angle straining under the attack. Kei could feel the tongue pressed
flat against him wet and rough, and completely raw, as if Ushio could
measure the strength and speed of the pulses beating there. The
pads of his fingers applied an incessant friction to the underside of
his cock down near the root, and Kei lost all track of what was
happening: was he marching towards his release, wanting to come,
or was he being chased into a corner, not wanting to come yet?

Ushio then enveloped his length with his lips, bobbing up and down
in a completely indecent manner, and Kei realized that the tip of his
cock started to leak uncontrollably.
“Nnh, noooo…”

Droplets swelled up from the little slit to be immediately scooped

away, dripping all over himself as his body delighted under the tip of
the tongue urging him for more. Short trembling convulsions coursed
through him almost like an orgasm, and Kei writhed at the sensation
that felt like a shallower and more drawn out release.

“Ahhh, ah, aaaahhh…”

“You’re leaking a lot.”

“No! Ahhh…”

This time Ushio used his fingers to form a circle, stroking the red and
obscenely wet head of his cock, and Kei’s hips quaked and tossed,
desperate for more.

“Lube… but you don’t seem to need any.”

“Ahh.”

A finger seeking access inside him pushed thick, leaking fluid

against his closed, little entrance. Ushio folded Kei’s knees to
position them up by his chest, putting his cock and more so his
secret area on full display.

“No, don’t…”

Ushio watched Kei, exposed under his gaze, swallowing the finger
with a faint wisp of a flutter, and Kei grew embarrassed at the
complete lack of pain that he had felt.

“You’re opening nicely.”

“Ahh…”
The long, thick finger that had slowly pushed into him up to the hilt,
took its time and just as slowly pulled back out. It took only a few
back-and-forth movements, and his body forgot its natural reflexes to
reject but to accept.

“Here, a second finger.”

“Nhh, ahh.”

The fingers gently stroked him inside, searing him with arousal, and
his cock swelled. But he still needed a little more for his release.

“…more, more…nhh…”

“You want another finger? But you’re still not stretched out enough.”

“No, I want more…”

“Hmm?”

“R-rub me more… make it dirtier…”

But Kei didn’t have the wherewithal to express what he wanted, and
so he turned his head, rubbing his burning cheeks against the pillow,
whining and begging.

“—Like this?”

“Aaah!!”

The fingers were no longer probing; they thrust into him hard and
deep, filling him to the brim, determined to bring everything to the
light.

“Ahhh…nhh, ah, nhhh.”

Over and over again, from inside of him, Kei learned the
whereabouts of his desire, and he mindlessly clutched the back of
his knees as he drowned in the throes of pleasure.

“Ahh, I can’t, I can’t…if you keep doing that… I’m gonna come—”

“Don’t you want to come?”

“I do… I want to come, it’s so good, so good, Ushio…nhh.”

“Can I watch you come?”

You won’t listen even if I said no.

But Kei couldn’t call Ushio out on his terrible and evil teasing, he
could only shake his head as he lay wanton and exposed on the
bed.

“…I really shouldn’t have turned off the lights.”

“No, I don’t like it…”

“I know, next time, okay?”

“I said no— Ah, aaaaah…!”

Ushio twisted his hand as he ground his fingers into Kei’s sensitive
spot, and his climax claimed him as he spurted over his chest and
stomach, the traces of pleasure lingering in the aftermath.

“Ah, nooo…”

Kei hadn’t finished coming yet, but then a tongue sneaked its way
next to the fingers that he was swallowing.

“Aahh…!”
It easily slipped past his stretched-out rim, soft and supple flesh
against soft and supple flesh, melting as one, his hole twitching and
gasping at the touch. To give it better access, the fingers spread the
rim out even further.

“You’re completely red here. I can tell even in the dimness.”

“No—”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You’re embarrassed, right? At times, I feel bad about
it afterwards too.”

“Idiot… There’s no point…nhh…”

“You’re right… No feeling bad then.”

“That’s not what I meant, ah, aahh, aaahhh…!”

Ushio released Kei to take hold of his legs, and at nearly the same
moment, Kei felt a familiar heat (but one he probably would never
fully get used to) rubbing against his emptied hole. There was plenty
of wetness from the preparation, and Ushio plunged into him
mercilessly, the sweet pressure forcing Kei’s body to open for him—
and it was like he wanted nothing more but to have this man inside
of him.

“Ahh, ahh, noo… Nnnhh…nhh!”

Ushio filled him to the brim. Through his bowels, through his lungs,
even through the ends of his hair and the tips of his fingers. He
couldn’t keep it from overflowing out of him; his cock swelled once
more and Kei found his release.

“Nnh, ahh…”

“Did you learn how to come from this?”

I don’t know, it scares me too much.

But he couldn’t make any excuses as his inner walls clenched down
on the thickness filling him, needy and desperate, sucking it in
deeper, as the heat and the hardness drove him wild with pleasure.
Ushio repeatedly drilled himself deep inside of Kei, as if he needed
to obliterate the irritation he felt if any amount of distance separated
their bodies, and with each thrust of his hips, Kei’s arousal burst
inside of him, spreading throughout his body with the beating of his
heart.

“Ah, aaaahh.”

His breathing, his voice, his curled-up toes—there was no part of him
that he could control anymore, and yet the hole where they were
connected faithfully matched Ushio’s every movement, releasing and
clenching, taking everything greedily. He wondered if he could call
this need an instinct, this insatiable lust that he had never felt before.

He wanted to be connected to Ushio. Even if it was no more than a

momentary illusion, he wanted them to melt into each other, mingling
and fusing until they became one. He loved him so damn much.

“Nnnh, aaahh… Ushio—”

Ushio sucked hard on Kei’s come-covered nipples, still hard and

erect, and all at once Kei could distinctly discern the full shape of the
cock rubbing inside of him. Ushio gasped, and his ragged breath
tickled Kei’s skin.

“Don’t squeeze me so tightly.”

“Noo… I’m not doing anything…”

“You’re one to talk. You’ve been down right greedy for it— Hold back
for me a little.”
Are you in any position to say that?

“That’s my line… ah, nhh…”

His limbs already felt like rubber, limp from his previous releases, but
he couldn’t stop himself from urging on the thrusts, clutching down
eagerly.

“Ahh, no, ahhh…”

Ushio gasped loudly. Kei could sense that the end was near,
momentary, and yet an eternity, and he shuddered with chills of
anticipation shivering up through his spine.

“Ahh, ah— Aaaaahh…”

It was like Ushio’s heart had become liquid, flowing inside of him and
pouring into his innermost depths under the rhythm of his pulse. It
sent Kei over the edge, like they were connected by the same
pipeline, spilling everything that Ushio was spilling.

“Ahhh…”

Ushio lay on Kei’s chest as Kei took his weight, the two of them
panting through the remnants of their arousal, breaths resonating
together. Ushio lifted his head to look at him, and normally Kei would
be too embarrassed to look him in the eye at such a close distance,
but this time he didn’t look away. He still felt shy about it all, even
more so than usual, but Ushio’s eyes looked beautiful to him at this
moment.

He was mortified at how shameless he got just now during sex.

“You’re terrible, you know.” Ushio crinkled his eyes and smiled.

“Huh?”
“You were so needy and horny a few moments ago, but now you’re
giving me this face like nothing had happened.”

“…I dunno what you’re talking about.”

That’s you, stupid.

“Anyway, I’m a little scared to pull out.”

“Why?”

“I wonder if I haven’t melted into a puddle.”

“You’re an idiot…”

They twined their fingers together and lightly touched their foreheads
to one another. Ushio was still buried inside of Kei and was gradually
heating up again. Kei broke out into goosebumps, intoxicated once
again by things to come.

“…Tell me what is melted into a puddle?”

“Well, we can’t really tell yet…” Ushio lightly moved his hips like he
was testing to see if it was really useless. There was the obscene
sound of semen squeezing between flesh.

“Ahhh— By the way, you better not tell me that you’re gonna repeat
this all night.”

“Well, I can’t say anything until we do it.”

“No way, I still have two more days of work… nhh.”

“No worries, Kunieda-san is a hard little worker. Both your upper

body and your lower body.”

“Noo—”
The damn devil is you.

And just when he was about to say I love you.

Kei woke up to the smell of something sweet coming from the

kitchen. He could also hear the sounds of sizzling from a frying pan.
He sat up in bed, and the faint rustling of the covers shouldn’t have
been loud enough to hear, but Ushio turned around from his portable
gas burner and announced, “Fooding time.”

Was it just his imagination that it sounded like Feeding time? But
next to the pillow was a set of Kei’s sweatshirt and sweatpants—
ones that he always kept at the house—and so Kei got dressed,
washed his face, and padded over to the table. Just when the smell
of coffee wafted over to his nose, a white, round plate was placed in
front of him. There was a pile of lightly griddled pancakes topped
with a generous dollop of whipped cream. Frozen blueberries
decorated the edge of the plate, drizzled with thin lines of honey and
a spoonful of strawberry jam.

“It’s a Christmas cake made from what I could get my hands on at

the convenience store,” Ushio said, carrying two cups over to the
table. There was a Christmas tree drawn on the tops of each latte.
There was not a single oversight, what was Kei supposed to say or
do? It took him a while to react, but rather than wanting to hug him,
he wanted to strangle him instead. Not that he would. In order to
diffuse all of his impulses, Kei cut through a stack of three pancakes,
covered the forkful in whipped cream, and held his mouth wide open
to take a bite.

“If that face of yours ever aired on TV, you’d be apologizing for
weeks.”
This is what you say after complimenting me for ridiculous things all
the time? You’re supposed to tell me I look beautiful no matter what.

Kei viciously stirred his latte with his fork. “The whipped cream’s
pretty flat.”

“I don’t have a mixer. This is the best I could do with the milk frother.”

It wasn’t the most delicious thing he had eaten; it tasted just like the
pancakes made from pancake mix. But this was the flavor that spoke
to him. It was also a flavor that reminded him of his childhood, even
though he had no recollection of pancakes being made that
frequently for him when he was little.

He had never been particularly excited for Christmas. No one had

ever told him who Santa Claus really was, but he had figured it out
from the beginning. The cake did make him happy though. He never
had anything that he particularly wanted. When he became an adult
and pretended to date women, it became a form of self-torture. He
didn’t mind giving the gifts—it was like completing an assignment
where he had to find the best answer that would satisfy both his
budget and his research. But he hated receiving the gifts. It honestly
made his skin crawl to have other people give him things such as
clothing, shoes, or watches, expecting him to put them on his
person. Kei knew himself best, and he would decide what suited him
best, what was easiest to use, and what he liked most. He would put
on a face of excitement and anticipation as he reluctantly peeled
away the wrapping paper, revealing a face of delight. Then he would
divert their attention as he covered the gift with a few throw blankets.
Using the presents felt like being cursed, and it completely stifled
him.

That was why Ushio had made the right choice when he picked out
the espresso machine as Kei’s Christmas present. There was
enough distance from Kei’s person, and it wasn’t kept at Kei’s
apartment.
But even if Ushio had picked out clothing, shoes, or a watch for him,
Kei thought that it would never be a nuisance to him. No, maybe it
was better to say that he could never think it’d be a nuisance.

“When I was in second grade,” Kei said, as he dug into his

pancakes, “I asked to take a penmanship course for my Christmas
present.”

“Huh?”

“I took a correspondence course in penmanship.”

“Why? Was your handwriting that bad?”

“Of course not. I would never let it look bad. But it never looked like
what I imagined it could be. I would start calligraphy in third grade,
and so I thought that I might as well learn the fundamentals. But I
didn’t want to attend an actual class to learn it.”

Thanks to the courses, his handwriting was beautiful enough to use

for a font even. But when he was at home making notes for himself,
his handwriting resembled a mess of scribbles as indecipherable as
cursive-style brush calligraphy.

Ushio stared at Kei while holding a fork in one hand. “You’re really…”

“Really self-conscious about everything, right?”

“You’re well beyond normal logic at this point. I’ve thought this
before, but I’d really like to see what your parents are like.”

“…You said it. You can’t take it back now.”

“Huh?”

“You said it. I heard you say it.”

Kei stood up to look through his bag leaning next to the bed. He
pulled out a small ticket envelope that he then placed on the table
and pushed towards Ushio. The Shinkansen14 was printed on it; he
had got it directly from the green ticket window. It should be obvious
what was inside.

“Huh?” Ushio repeated.

“If you want to see them so badly, I’ll let you meet my parents. You
did wonder how the hell I was raised after all, that second time we
met.”

“You remember it just fine.” Ushio removed the pair of round-trip

tickets from the flimsy paper envelope and examined the travel
dates. “Um, but this is right over New Year’s?”

“It’s not like you’re doing anything anyway. And you get free room
and board. Are you happy? Are you grateful? Are you gonna cry?”

Bombarding Ushio with questions was a sign that Kei was actually
really nervous about how he’d react, and Ushio would never tease or
ridicule him at times like these.

“Yeah, I’ll go. Thank you.”

The moment Kei saw Ushio crack a smile, he felt the itch to run
around and shout with joy. And Ushio, he seemed to be unable to
suppress the grin breaking out onto his face, and he clapped his
mouth with both of his hands.

“Oh, god,” he said. “I’m really looking forward to this. I really want to
meet your parents.”

Kei’s Christmas mission ended in a huge success. He completely

took Ushio by surprise, and it was perfect.

I’m a genius. J’aime myself très beaucoup, dammit.15

They were like over-excited children the day before they went to see
the pandas at the zoo.

“Just to let you know, my parents are a normal, regular married

couple.”

“I don’t know about that… What should we bring them as a gift?”

“Alfort biscuits.”16

“You gotta be kidding me.”

“But they like it.”

“You’re the one who likes it.”

After Christmas Eve, the festivities would surely continue.

“By the way, you don’t talk about yourself much.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.”

—Kei, dear, do you have anything you want?

He was asked that often when he was little. But the answer was the
same then as it was now. Not really.

However, it was a little different now.

He had everything he wanted. He didn’t need anything else.

—–Translated by daydrop.

Translation Notes
 If you’re wondering why the number 9 is so prominently featured,
it’s because one of the radicals for Asahi (旭) is the character for 9
(九).
Christmas isn’t a big family holiday in Japan, it’s mainly a time for
couples and friends to get together. The big family holiday would be
New Year’s.
Puffy eye makeup is essentially the Korean aegyo-sal trend,
accentuating the little rim of fat around the eyes to give a cuter, more
youthful look.
Bundesliga – The top professional soccer/football league in
Germany.
A collection of national holidays spanning a 7-day period starting
from the end of April to the beginning of May. Most people get this
week off in Japan.
10 million yen – Approx. $100,000 USD.
100 yen shops are similar to dollar stores but are wayyyy better.
Phoenix Hall at the Byodoin Temple is a famous cultural site in Uji,
Japan. It is a National Treasure and is also depicted on the 10 yen
coin.
1,000 yen – Approx. $10 USD.
FYI, Ushio’s name means tide.
Asazou is the Asahi TV mascot mentioned in Volume 1 Chapter 2.
The Self-Defense Forces is Japan’s military.
Animals sounds are fairly distinct in Japanese. In order, Kei is
making the sounds of a lion, elephant, monkey, gorilla, and a
housecat.
Shinkansen – The Japanese bullet train.
Kei says here in a mix of English and Japanese: I love jibun
(myself) very much da yo.
Alfort is a brand of chocolate-covered digestive biscuits that can
be bought at a drugstore, but they do have limited-edition boxes sold
as souvenirs.
Part 2: All You Need

—–Translated by daydrop. Please read on the original site at

daydrop.nowaki.net.

It was December 28th. Ushio had finished his year-end

housecleaning the day before and wrapped up his work for the year.
In previous years, he would laze around the house, find people to go
out with, or spend a few days at a hotel. It was typically a slow and
easy New Year’s holiday for him, but this year would be a little
different.

He was at a gourmet meat counter in the basement marketplace of a

department store, staring at all the bright red displayed behind a
refrigerated glass case. If he was eating by himself, he would never
fork out the cash for these revered, majestic cows…err, former cows
now.

—Meat would be good.

New Year’s was a holiday reserved for spending with close family,
and as a show of appreciation for letting him stay over at this
delicate time of year, Ushio had asked Kei what he should bring as a
gift, and this was his response. When Ushio asked suspiciously,
“Isn’t that what you want?” Kei had pulled up his LINE chats to show
him as proof. He had been chatting with a Masae…oh, so that was
his mother’s name. Ushio thought that it was a nice surprise to know
the name of one of Kei’s relatives as he looked through the
messages.

“I’m bringing someone over for New Year’s.”

“A girlfriend?”

“No.”
“Don’t tell me you made a friend? Or is it someone from work?
Whichever it is, I don’t want to be forced to keep up your little
charade in my own home.”

“He’s knows, so it’s fine.”

“Are you serious?”

“I’m serious.”

“When you say he knows, does he know that you like to put
worcestershire sauce on your rice?”

“Shut up, he knows.”

“So it’s okay if I treat him like he knows everything? Don’t complain
about it to me afterwards.”

“Okay, enough. He’s asking what he should bring.”

“Hmmm, meat would be good. By the way, please tell him that at our
house we don’t make accommodations for anything other than
allergies, and if he’s okay with that, then he’s welcome to stay. Oh,
do you know if he can play mahjong?”

“He probably can.”

“Then we should play, since we’ll have 4 people. It would make your
dad happy.”

Kei had said that his parents were normal, but Ushio wondered if it
was really true. There were lots of varieties of meat he could get,
and when Ushio tried to get Kei to ask for more specifics, Kei flat out
rejected him with a “Too much trouble.”

Then why did you invite me to come?

Steak… probably wasn’t what he was looking for. There was the
feeling of I brought this so you can cook it for me. Then should he go
for shabu shabu1 or sukiyaki?2 But he didn’t know how they would
feel about sharing the same pot with a stranger. Kei would probably
say something like, If it really bothers them, we can make stir-fry with
butter and soy sauce, knowing his B-grade tastebuds. With the
arrival time of the Shinkansen fast approaching, Ushio ordered some
high-quality beef suitable for sukiyaki and had the counter pack it
securely with ice packs.

When he reached the departure platform at Tokyo Station, the

Hikari3 train still hadn’t arrived, and he headed for the location
marked for his designated car number. As he approached, his gaze
was drawn to the figure of someone with beautiful posture standing
in the boarding line. Oh, wow, it was Kunieda Kei, in the flesh.

Kei was wearing a beautiful, expensive-looking coat with no sign of

any pilling. The profile of his face as he looked straight ahead was a
picture of elegant serenity, and it was a complete contradiction to the
Kei whom Ushio saw on a daily basis. He didn’t view either one of
him as good or bad, but he was still astounded by the difference. Kei
had a scarf wrapped high around his neck, and the delicate fabric,
almost white and translucent under the lights, wavered back and
forth almost touching his lips.

“Do you see that guy over there…?”

“I’ve seen him on TV, but I can’t remember where.”

“Oh, do you think he was on a TV drama?”

“Ahh, I can’t remember. But I definitely recognize him.”

Ushio had stepped back to watch Kei from afar because it was
entertaining, and he inadvertently overheard a few people’s
conversations about him. Now that he had zoomed back from the
picture, he noticed several pairs of eyes sneaking glances at Kei.
The reactions ranged from Hey, it’s Kunida Kei, recognizing him on
sight, to others such as now, wondering, He’s on TV, right? or Where
have I seen him before?

Celebrities who said that people never noticed them on public

transportation were probably too oblivious (in a good way) about
their surroundings. People who made a career out of standing in
front of a camera for an audience were substantially different from
the average person. Ushio thought so too when he had met Tatsuki,
and so it wasn’t just his personal bias talking. In contrast to Kunieda
Kei who had kept himself at a distance from the public, Tatsuki was
openly friendly to everyone, and so he was often approached for
pictures and autographs, but he didn’t feel particularly stressed over
it, saying that he’d run away with a Sorry! whenever it got too much
for him. Personalities really worked in mysterious ways.

In the meantime, there was an announcement of the train’s arrival,

and the Hikari pulled in next to the platform. Even in broad daylight,
the headlights of the Shinkansen were near blindingly bright, and
Ushio watched Kei turn to look around the platform.

Oh, he’s looking for me. Don’t worry, I’m here, I’m here.

Ushio didn’t call out, didn’t make eye contact, didn’t raise his hand;
he only responded inside of his heart. It seemed that Kei had caught
sight of Ushio and relaxed, turning back to face the front of the line. It
was a little ridiculous, acting like they were having an affair, but
Ushio didn’t want to draw any unwanted attention from the
onlookers, who would probably assume that he was a shameless fan
approaching a celebrity. But he really did want to talk to “Kunieda-
san” again.

Yes, it was a little stupid, but it would cross his mind from time to
time. He loved Kei, both sides of him, but he realized that he would
probably never be able to see “Kunieda-san” alone again in private.
Ushio didn’t see “Kunieda-san” as a lie or a fake. They were both Kei
to him, and it made him a little wistful. The thought that he could only
see him on the television screen, like a fan watching an idol, brought
out dark emotions inside of him, that maybe he should have let Kei
stay in the dark about discovering his secret a little longer. He
wondered for his Christmas present next year if Kei would let him do
it with “Kunieda-san.” Would he get angry? He probably would.
Ushio didn’t care if he got yelled at (it didn’t bother him at all), but he
knew that it was something that could hurt Kei deeply, and so he
could only keep his thoughts to himself. He was this considerate
about Kei’s feelings, and yet Kei would always yell at how insensitive
or how tactless he was. How unreasonable was that?

Ushio went to the back of the line to board the train, then found his
assigned seat as marked on his ticket. Kei was already sitting in the
seat next to the window, his head buried inside a newspaper, not
sparing a single glance in Ushio’s direction. He only ventured out to
grace a charming smile at the conductor who came to check their
tickets, and like a flip of a coin, retreated back behind his paper
barricade. It was fine, Ushio didn’t mind. He would have Kei settle
the check when they returned home (mainly with his body).

There were a number of folded newspapers tucked into Kei’s leather

tote bag, and each time he finished one, he would place it in the
seatback pocket in front him, and like magic, another paper
appeared for him to read. Ushio was honestly impressed that Kei
could maintain his daily work routine even during vacation. Ushio
was full after reading a single newspaper. He thought that maybe Kei
really enjoyed reading the news, but then he remembered how
happy Kei was when he could finally relax on days that there were
no publications (but he would go around reading internet news sites
instead).

Ushio was surprised at first to learn that there were writers who
wrote the scripts that the TV announcers read, but sometimes when
Kei watched a different news show, he would scowl at the TV screen
and criticize, This guy doesn’t have any idea what’s coming out of
his mouth. Apparently, reading the news wasn’t as simple as reciting
the Japanese off of a script as written. What the difference was,
Ushio, and probably the great majority of viewers, couldn’t say, but
there was certainly something to be said about a presenter’s
reputation and rhetoric that built up over time—and it was probably
related to which announcers stayed in the spotlight and which
announcers faded into obscurity. Kei had instinctively understood the
severity of this point without anyone ever telling him.

When Ushio glanced at the bag sitting on the retractable table, he

caught sight of an ice pack bound together with silver packaging,
and he couldn’t help but to take it out. It was a round package of
expensive-looking butter, probably imported, beautifully wrapped in
silver foil and stamped with a round seal.

“Don’t look through my things.”

It was a very quiet protest from beyond the newsprint wall.

“…Is this for New Year’s?”

“Yeah.”

Kei explained that he had made a special version of his white rice
mixed with butter, soy sauce, and bonito flakes. The rest he had
packed up to give to his parents, because he was a good son like
that.

This face eating white rice mixed with butter, soy sauce, and bonito
flakes. Seriously. It was so far beyond a mismatch, it ventured into
the realm of the surreal. Ushio stifled back his laughter as he
returned the package back into the bag.

After about an hour, Kei had fully digested the 5 major national
newspapers that he had brought with him. Putting on his coat and
scarf to transform back into Kunieda-san, they stepped out onto the
platform.

“Where do we go from here?”

“We’re getting picked up.”

Ushio followed after Kei as he headed directly towards the traffic

circle and stopped in front of a silver minivan. Kei opened the back
passenger door and hurried inside, but Ushio couldn’t necessarily do
the same.

He poked his head inside the minivan and said, “Excuse me…”

The woman in the driver’s seat—most likely Kei’s mother—asked,

“Do you need me to open the trunk?”

“Oh, no, this is all I have with me, so there’s no need to open it.”
Ushio lifted his large Boston bag and the paper bag from the meat
counter.

“Alright,” she nodded. “Then please get in. I’m sure you’re cold.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Ushio sat next to Kei and closed the door. Kei’s mother immediately
started the car and asked, “What’s your name?”

“It’s Tsuzuki.”

“Tsuzuki-kun then. Do you prefer to do your own laundry?”

“Huh?”

“Laundry. I can’t imagine that you have 6 days worth of clothes in

your bag. It’s not too much trouble to put your clothes in with our
laundry, but I’m asking if you have any objections to it.”
“Oh… I can take care of my own laundry. I can go to a laundromat
nearby.”

“You can use the laundry room at our house. Just let me know when
you want to use it. Oh, one more thing, I don’t like people touching
my kitchen, and so I really don’t need any offers to help with the
cooking or dishwashing.”

“…Alright.”

Ushio knew that he couldn’t trust Kei’s definition of “normal” when he

had described his parents, but this conversation was already off to a
peculiar start. Normally, people would start off with the set phrases,
like Thank you for coming, I hope my son hasn’t been an imposition
on you. And then Ushio could respond with a Thank you for having
me over. I’m sorry to impose over New Year’s, but he wasn’t able to
offer a proper greeting. Ushio’s responses weren’t to the level that
one would call curt or brusque, but his tone was dry and crisp, and
after a period of silence, he could imagine being asked if he was
angry, but it seemed that Kei’s mother was used to dealing with such
a tone of voice. She wore barely any makeup other than her
eyebrows, and it made it easy to see her facial features. Kei didn’t
look strikingly similar to her, but there was certainly a family
resemblance.

Kei’s mother took a glance at Ushio from the rearview mirror and
offered an apology.

“Sorry about that. This is the first time we’ve ever had guests at our
house, so I wasn’t too sure how to go about it. I thought I’d clear up
any concerns that I could think of if I was in your position, but I
wonder if I was too abrupt?”

“I was a little surprised, but it’s really fine. In fact, I’m rather relieved
that you let me know about these things up front.”
Kei let out a loud yawn next to him, entirely uninvested in the
conversation. This was always the way things went once he shutout
the outside world.

Seriously you, do you not care if we can hold a conversation or not?

“Kei, a number of packages arrived for you from Amazon.”

“Yeah, I ordered a bunch of manga that I wanted to read while I’m

here.”

“Tomorrow is the last day of the year for garbage pickup. Make sure
you open your packages and sort out your trash before then.”

“You could have opened them for me.”

“Why should I sort out your manga for you?”

“You read them too.”

“That’s because you leave them all over the house after you finish
reading them! It’s like you half live in this fictitious world of yours…”

“Leave me alone!”

The minivan stopped to wait for a traffic light, and this time Kei’s
mother turned around to stare hard at Ushio.

“You’re really not surprised by this.”

“Huh? Oh, you mean like the worcestershire sauce?”

“Exactly. It was hard enough to believe that Kei would bring anyone
home in the first place, but then you also knew what he was like
inside. Did you two have a fist fight down by a river or something?

“Um, no…”
But they certainly had a very physical relationship.

“Focus on driving, not your interrogation.”

“Keep that attitude up and I won’t buy you any Lumonde biscuits.4

“I can buy it myself.”

Ushio burst into laughter when he heard the name of the ridiculously
familiar brand of biscuits.

“Masae-san, you’re really funny.”

Kei’s mother suddenly turned around again. “Masae…” she

repeated.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t like calling people Auntie and Uncle if I can
help it,” Ushio explained.

He tried to say, I can stop if you don’t like it, but she interrupted.

“Say it once more.”

“Huh?”

“Oi, what are you flirting for? I’ll report you.” Kei scowled.

“Well, it’s been nearly a quarter of a century since I’ve heard a man
call my name. Just let me have this moment.”

“Are you a moron? Hurry up and go, it’s green.”

“Sometimes when your dad gets drunk, he’ll call me Maa-chan.”

“Oh my god, I don’t want to hear that outta your mouth even if I got
an oil field for it!”
After about a 15-minute ride, the minivan drove into a residential
area and arrived at a very typical single-family house. When they
pulled into the garage, they could see someone in the yard.

“Welcome home, Kei.”

“I’m home.”

The man—Kei’s father—looked like a painting of someone very

gentle and good-natured. He held a dust cloth in one hand and
reported to his wife, “I’m done with the dusting.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you cleaning the house for the new year? Is there anything I
can do to help?”

There was probably something he could help with outside of the

kitchen. However, Kei got angry at him and said, “Don’t say anything
unnecessary.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll be forced to help out too.”

“Uh, you should help out.”

Kei’s father looked at them in astonishment at their exchange, but he

quickly recomposed himself back to his quiet expression. “No, it’s
alright. We’re pretty much finished,” he said as he shook his head. “I
hope that my son hasn’t been an imposition on you. It’s a humble,
little house, but please make yourself at home.”
“Oh no, thank you very much.”

Hmm, his father seems normal.

Ushio didn’t do well with the customary polite niceties, but he was a
little relieved to hear it now.

“Please, please, come on in.”

In one corner of the living-dining room, there were Ryukyu tatami

mats5 laid in the floor to form a special kotatsu space, and that was
where Ushio was shown to sit. He noticed Kei hurrying upstairs, and
after a while, he came back down in his usual sweats and an armful
of manga. He was fully in at-home mode.

“It’s really quite nice to have people at all four sides of the kotatsu,”
Kei’s father said, sipping a cup of green tea.

“You think so?” Kei’s mother asked.

“Yes, there’s a fulfilling, happy quality to it.”

“But the electric bill’s the same no matter how many people are
around it.”

“That’s not what I meant…”

Kei sprawled on the floor, lying down on a cushion tucked under his
chest, silently reading Yokoyama Mitsuteru’s Sangokushi.6

And you’re the most fulfilled one here.

“By the way…” A mikan orange was offered along with the turn in
conversation. “Umm, Tsuzuki-san, how did you become friends with
our son…?” Kei’s father asked.

Oh, you’re asking that question now? I guess you would.

Ushio thought that Kei would have given him strict instructions about
what story to tell when they were asked how they knew each other,
but he hadn’t mentioned a word about it.

But it was fine if he didn’t want to think about it. He’d just say that
they met through work. It wasn’t a lie.

“We met at my studio for work…”

“Just to let you know,” Kei said with an unconcerned expression on

his face, twisting his body back over while still lying on the floor.
“We’re dating.”

Oh, time’s frozen, Ushio thought to himself. Nothing moved except

for the rise of steam from the tea cups. Or so it looked. His head
wasn’t thinking straight.

Well, I guess it’s fine. I don’t mind you telling your parents about us,
but can’t I have a little head’s up beforehand? What are you doing,
coming out to your parents while lying on the floor with your thumb
stuck in the pages of a manga?

It was Kei’s mother who broke the short silence.

“Will the two of you get married?”

Kei very calmly retorted, “Are you already going senile? Don’t make
any more trouble for Dad.”

“But you could have a ceremony in a country where it’s allowed.”

“I’m happily married to my public reputation.”

“Um, then will you also visit Tsuzuki-kun’s parents? Though he looks
completely stunned like he hasn’t heard a thing about this.”

“Correct, I haven’t heard a thing about this.”

“But it’s true that you’re really dating?”

“Yes.” Ushio nodded without any hesitation. It was just the way that
Kei had broached the subject was so sudden and so jarring that he
panicked a little, but he didn’t think that they had done anything
wrong. They didn’t need anyone’s permission or approval. Their
relationship between the two of them was for Ushio and Kei to
decide.

“Well, you’re going to have to work pretty hard with this personality of
his, but good luck. Oh, and you can’t break up with him later saying,
‘He’s not the person I thought he was.’”

“May I ask what there is to work hard at?”

“Everything, of course! Even with Kei’s father, who’s so harmless he

wouldn’t hurt a fly, I had to work really hard at our marriage.”

“I’m pretty sure Dad’s had it a billion times harder.”

“How can you say that! …Dear! Get a hold of yourself!”

Kei’s father had been frozen stiff the entire time, and when his wife
took him by the shoulder to shake him out of his stupor, he released
an “O-Oh…” like he had been woken from a nap. “It was all so
sudden that my head couldn’t keep up…”

“But think about it. In nearly 30 years, Kei has never had anyone he
could call a friend, but then he suddenly brings someone home with
him. That was strange in itself, and then we learn that he’s someone
who knows everything about him and is okay with it! In a way, it
makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?”
“I suppose that’s true…”

“At this point, if not a girlfriend, then I’m perfectly happy if he has a
boyfriend. We’re not getting any younger, and I’m just happy to know
that he finally has someone he can open up his heart to.”

“Um, I suppose, maybe…?”

“This is good news. Really good news, don’t you think?”

“I-I suppose…”

“Umm, maybe he needs some time to process everything,” Ushio

intervened despite himself, secretly appreciating that these two
people were beyond a shadow of a doubt Kei’s parents. There was
just too much to say about their thought processes and the way that
they were strangely and easily convinced by the simplest of
arguments.

“Um, I think I’m going to hit a few balls at the driving range.” Kei’s
father nervously stood up, and then he addressed Ushio. “I’m very
sorry, I’m unable to sort out my mind right now…But my son is
already an adult, and I don’t have any particular thoughts against
you, so please don’t feel like you need to leave, you’re very much
welcome to stay.”

“Thank you very much.”

Ushio also exited the kotatsu and bowed deeply to Kei’s father. The
little prince of the house, however, remained on his back and made
no signs of any movement.

“Oh, one more thing. If I happen to say anything offensive or wrong,

please stop me and let me know. I will do my best to be more careful
about it.”
“Oh… I think it’ll be alright, but I understand, I’ll let you know.”

Ushio buried himself in the kotatsu once more and whispered from
the bottom of his heart, “H-He’s a really good person.”

However, his wife had a different opinion. “I wouldn’t call him a good
person, just that he’s too darn trusting,” she criticized. “Let’s have
crab for dinner tonight. We can save sukiyaki for tomorrow.”

“Is there a particular reason?”

“Because I think Kei’s father won’t have processed his feelings by

the time he gets back. With crab, it’s not awkward if people aren’t
talking.”

That’s what you’re concerned about? Really?

“I should start making preparations for the hotpot. Oh, but we’re out
of tofu. I’ll need to go out and buy some.”

Once they were alone, Ushio kicked Kei from under the kotatsu.

“Hey, that hurt.”

“Don’t ‘hey, that hurt’ me. Tell me beforehand if you’re gonna drop a
bomb like that!”

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“No, seriously. What were you thinking?”

Ushio didn’t know if Kei was just grandstanding or what, but he was
fairly shaken by all of the commotion. However, Kei only replied,
“Like I said, it’s not a big deal. It’s a pain in the ass to hide it from
them. If I told you beforehand, you’d probably blow it out of
proportion. That’s why I didn’t say anything. Anyway, isn’t it easier for
you to have them know everything upfront?”
“Well, yeah, I guess…”

It was true that he couldn’t say that he felt no sense of guilt while
pretending to be a friend and staying at their house.

Ushio watched Kei drop his eyes back down to his manga, and it
took everything he could muster to say, “Your family is absolutely not
normal.”

After devouring the crab dinner that was thoughtfully planned for
them, Ushio took a bath.

“Excuse me, where should I put the towel?”

“Oh, there’s a basket in front of the washing machine, on the left-

hand side.”

Kei’s mother was standing in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea. Ushio
was reminded of how Kei also liked to stand in front of the sink
drinking his coffee. Their stances were completely different, but for a
moment, they seemed to overlap naturally inside his memories.

“Would you like some tea? But it’s pretty weak by now.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Ushio sipped the slightly lukewarm tea and asked, “How long has his
personality been this way?”

“Not sure, maybe since birth? When he was a baby, he would always
be smiling, even during his vaccinations. Then when we were home,
he would suddenly turn unhappy and throw his toys.”
So not much different from now.

“As a parent, first and foremost I was most concerned that he grew
up safe and healthy. I never remembered ever telling him to behave
or to study or to do his homework. Up until he entered elementary
school, every time people praised him for being such a well-behaved
child, I would respond by saying ‘Oh, no, he’s a little monster at
home.’ I was just correcting them, but I would end up looking bad
instead. Like I was patronizing them by over-humbling myself, or that
I was being overly severe with a child who had behaved so well.”

“Oh…”

“Kei would snort at me and say, ‘Mom, you’re really dumb.’ That was
when I probably stopped trying to correct people.”

“I see.”

“I don’t have any friends either, so I can’t really lecture him about it. I
don’t like dealing with people, and I’m happy enough having my
husband to talk to. But to be honest, I was really quite worried that
he didn’t have anyone he could talk to besides us. Well, now I’m
relieved.”

“Even if it’s a man?”

“Why not?”

Somehow that little bit of detachment felt just right.

“Right now Kei’s father is looking for the mahjong mat in the closet.
Can you bring Kei downstairs?”

Upstairs there were two western-style rooms: one was Kei’s

bedroom and the other was a spare room that Ushio was using.

“Hey, it’s time for mahjong.”

Ushio knocked on the door, but there was no response. “I’m coming
in,” he warned and turned the door knob.

Kei was passed out in bed, buried in a pile of manga.

What are you, an elementary school student?

Ushio stared down at Kei’s sleeping face in disbelief.

This place had to be an unconditional safe space for Kei. His parents
knew and fully accepted everything about him. They shared and
protected his secrets for him. When Kei told them about Ushio, they
didn’t get angry and they didn’t make him feel bad about it. Kei felt
that being open was the easiest path forward, that it was the most
natural thing in the world; he believed in this tiny little universe so
wholeheartedly that when he told his parents, he didn’t have to think
twice about it and he didn’t need to prepare himself for it.

Ushio thought that Kei was amazing. He didn’t know how many
times he had thought so, but Kei was always amazing to him.

His feelings were welling up inside of him, but he couldn’t exactly act
upon them here. Instead, he softly whispered a magic spell into Kei’s
ear.

“…Kunieda-san, it’s 10 minutes until air time.”

“W-wha!?”

In a single second, Kei’s body shot up from horizontal to vertical, and

in the next second, he seemed to have grasped the situation and
cursed, “Fuck you, you asshole!” But like a prophet, Ushio knew that
if he stroked Kei’s hair, his angry face would fall and twist up, a little
annoyed and maybe a little mortified.

“Let’s go downstairs and play.”

They shuffled tiles until dawn, woke up past noon, and after eating a
late lunch, Ushio was antsy to get outside.

“You’re seriously not going out anywhere the entire break?”

“Nope.”

There was no telling when Kei would run into one of his old
classmates from school, and with the holiday season and people
returning to see their parents, the chances were higher than usual.
Kei planned to stay holed inside the house the entire time.

“Don’t you have reunions?”

“I’ve already planted the impression that I’m not the type of person
who attends those things, and my favorability won’t fall even if I don’t
go.”

Ushio knew that Kei wouldn’t budge if he didn’t want to go out.

“I feel like getting some exercise. Is there a batting cage around

here?”

“Nope.”

“Then would you like to go to the driving range to hit a few balls?”
Kei’s father asked, listening to their conversation.

“I’ve never golfed before.”

“You can rent clubs and gloves there.”

Ushio accepted the invitation, and the two headed out. The driving
range was apparently 10 minutes away by car.

“Do you like golf?” Ushio asked.

“Oh, no. I just like hitting balls and practicing my swing. I can stop
whenever I feel like it too.”

“I see. I don’t really want to play actual baseball games either.”

“It would seem like my son would participate in more competitions

than me, but Kei apparently has no interest in these things. But if
there’s something that he feels strongly enough about, he will train
and practice to the point that his blisters start bleeding.”

Ushio could picture it.

They arrived at the driving range with a giant green net raised high
over the facility. They headed up the 3rd floor tee boxes, and Kei’s
father showed Ushio how to grip the club and place his feet.

“Oof…”

Although his rental club had made contact with the golf ball, it
sounded fairly pathetic as it bounced a few meters away like a ping
pong ball.

“This is pretty hard.”

“But your swing’s not bad. Anyway, it doesn’t matter how much
experience you have here. You can take things at your own pace
and you won’t bother anyone.”

It was a beautiful day out, and beyond the net was a clear view of
the snow-covered Mt. Fuji. It was a great location for a driving range.
Ushio focused on hitting balls and cleared out his mind. He could get
too wrapped up inside his head when he got absorbed in his work,
and so it was important for him to take care of his body too. How far
could he twist his upper body like this? What muscles was he using
when he followed through with his swing? Was he breathing hard
and sweating enough? Even if he used his head to create things, he
couldn’t slack on knowing the condition of his body.

The 100 balls in his bucket disappeared before he realized it, and he
had reached the bottom. There were maybe 2 or 3 balls that he
could have called nice shots.

“When you’re young, you sure have stamina. I’m worn out after
about 50 balls. Shall we go take a break?”

“Yes, let’s.”

There was a clear view of Mt. Fuji from the large window of the
clubhouse. As Ushio stared out at it, holding a paper cup of coffee,
Kei’s father asked, “Do you like Mt. Fuji?”

“I’m not sure that’s how I would describe it… It’s kinda like it’s always
there…Hmm, well, I suppose I don’t hate it. It’s always nice to see it
when I’m on the Shinkansen passing by.”

“I see. To be honest, I don’t like it very much.”

“Huh?”

“Like you said, it’s always there. Whenever I look in its direction, I get
a little scared. And lately they’ve been playing those volcano
specials on TV.”

“You mean the eruption simulations they do for Mt. Fuji.”

“That’s right. All hope is lost if it were to happen, so I wish that they
wouldn’t play such ominous things.” With his back to Mt. Fuji, Kei’s
father whispered, “I’m also scared when there are earthquakes. I’m a
very timid person, and once I start thinking about these things I can’t
sleep at night.”

Kei was also the type to overthink things and find the worst possible
outcomes. For how brazen he could be, he could also be delicate.
But then in the end he would be defiant.

“But when I found the person who I wanted to marry, I was able to
become a little better.”

“So you’re not scared anymore?”

“I wouldn’t say that. It’s like I had found a haven where I felt safe,
knowing I wouldn’t be alone when I died. Oh, but I know that we
likely won’t die together at the same time and the same place, but it’s
still reassuring to me… But saying something like that is terrible, isn’t
it? Normally people should say, ‘I’ll protect you no matter what.’”

“I suppose that’s true…”

But there was nothing anyone could do about Mt. Fuji.

“However, my son isn’t a part of what I call my haven.”

“Huh?”

“When Kei was a child, I had a responsibility for him. That no matter
what natural disaster struck, I had to make sure that he survived,
even with how undependable I thought I was. Fortunately he was
able to become an adult and found success at a job that I never
could do. Of course, he will always be family, but Kei has his own
haven that he must find, different from mine.”

Someone who would support Kei through the end of the world.

“But last night while we were eating crab at dinner, I realized that he
would be fine.”
“While eating crab…?”

Ushio couldn’t follow his thought process. He had thought that Kei’s
father was much more normal than his mother, but maybe the dad
wasn’t that much different either.

“Kei ate all the crab legs that were easy to eat, but you silently ate
the claws and the body that were harder to get to. I was impressed
by watching you.”

“I like working on the parts that are harder to get… There’s sort of a
sense of satisfaction when you get to the meat…”

You mean that’s it? That’s how you decided that your son had found
his haven?

Ushio let his voice out and laughed. As he laughed, he recalled the
images he had witnessed the past day. Of Kei saying, Here, Dad,
and naturally pouring him a beer. Of Kei keeping his chopsticks to
himself until his father had started eating. It was a face different from
Kunieda-san, different from the Kei he knew when they were alone—
a face that he had seen for the very first time.

They passed the 30th playing mahjong, UNO, The Game of Life, and
hanafuda7 cards. Their precious only son was a ridiculous lion at
home and little mouse outside, and so the parents had no choice but
to specialize in games that they could play inside the house. What a
strange family. But it could also be called a happy one.

“Hey, we should turn on the TV.”

It was just past 2 pm on the 31st, and Kei reached for the TV remote.
“There have been many memorable events this past year! We’ll be
bringing you all the secret footage that we’ve collected across the
country. You will laugh, you will gasp, and you will shout! Please
enjoy the show!”

Kei gloated, “He’s working, he’s working,” as he watched Tatsuki

standing at a festive New Year’s style set speaking into a mic.
“Please let him slip and fall.”

“You’re absolutely awful,” Ushio said.

“Oh, he’s the young announcer on your show. He must be in high

demand if he’s working on New Year’s Eve. Probably even more
popular than you?” Kei’s mother commented.

“What did you say?”

“But you don’t have that much exposure on TV.”

“That’s because I’m not cheap!”

They watched clips of small, local festivals around the country,

bloopers from live, on-the-scene reporting, let’s try reports of young
announcers trying ridiculous things on TV, commenting and chatting
as the time passed. Kei was sorely disappointed when Tatsuki
started to wrap up the show; he did a great job even to the untrained
eye.

“Tch. How boring. Come on, mess up somewhere. If he had a fly

open, that’d be good too.”

“Kei, curses cut both ways.”

“We’re nearing the end of our show, and I’d like to introduce a very
special clip! This footage was taken just a few days ago from the
Asahi TV news floor. Please take a look!”
Kunieda Kei suddenly appeared on the television screen.

“What the—!?”

The credits on the screen read, December 24th Broadcast, and

Ushio knew exactly what the clip was. Of course, Kei knew too.

“Magicians and jugglers dressed as Satan—”

“Magicians and jugglers dressed as Satan—”
“Magicians and jugglers dressed as Satan—”

Even though he had seen the clip before, with the sound effects, the
hilarious pop-up text, and the lines looping on repeat, Ushio burst
into laughter all over again. The editing was definitely critical.

Kei’s face looked like it was about to explode as he yelled, “What the
hell is this!?”

“Oh, dear. See, Kei? It was just as your dad said.”

“Shut up!!”

As the studio guests laughed, Tatsuki offered his thoughts on the

clip.

“He’s normally such an outstanding announcer that it makes this clip

especially valuable and precious!”

“Yes, it’s a reminder that he’s human too.”

“Very true! Considering that it was Christmas Eve, maybe he was

preoccupied with his own thoughts. Perhaps something in his
personal life? I don’t know if he’s watching the show right now, but
Senpai! Have a happy new year!”

“I’m gonna kill him when I get back to work.”

The mistake that was still fresh in Kei’s mind haunted him once
again, and after eating his New Year’s Eve soba, he retreated under
the kotatsu to sulk. At 11:30 pm, Kei’s parents went out for their first
shrine visit of the new year. While Ushio flipped through the channels
on the TV, he heard the sounds of New Year’s Eve bells chiming in
the distance.

“Hey, it’s almost midnight.”

The rolypoly inside of the kotatsu refused to budge.

“…Kei.”

Still nothing.

“Thank you for bringing me to meet your parents. I love you and your
parents too.”

Ushio decided that once the clock hit midnight, before Kei
overheated pretending to be asleep, he would unplug the kotatsu for
him.

When it was time to leave, Kei’s mother drove them to the station
again.

“If you’d like to visit again this year, you’re welcome to come. And if
you don’t, that’s okay too.”

“Oh, I would like that.”

It even surprised himself how easily those words came out of his
mouth.
“If that’s settled, then you can keep the Tupperware until you visit at
the end of the year.”

“Thank you.”

Kei’s mother handed him a square-shaped, clothwrapped bundle as

they said their goodbyes. She said it was chirashizushi.8 According
to Kei, it was the taste of New Year’s coming to an end—osechi9
leftovers chopped and mixed up together. Somehow it made Ushio
happy to know that. Just like how he knew that the Kunieda family
recipe for curry didn’t use potatoes, but instead they would have
potato salad on the side that they would put on toast to make
sandwiches the next day.

Special chopsticks had been prepared on New Year’s Day, and each
set had their names written in brush pen on the paper wrapping. Of
course, Ushio had received his own set too. And under the
insistence that it was a good luck charm, in the New Year’s money
envelope, he had received a shiny 500 yen coin. He would probably
never spend it.

Ushio rode the train back to Tokyo with the chirashizushi in his lap.
Kei had already torn through his newspapers at home, and so he
rested his elbow on the armrest looking out the window. When the
train entered a tunnel, the surrounding darkness outside distinctly set
off his face in sharp relief.

It hadn’t even been a week, but Ushio felt like the Kei that he saw
searching for him at Tokyo Station was a Kei that he had to recall
from a much more distant past. There was a weight and a profound
warmth from all of the things he had received. Even the Why not?
that might have sounded like a throwaway comment—the words
came with a very important, As long as he’s happy, hidden before it.

The Shinkansen passed through several tunnels, leaving Mt. Fuji,

that Kei’s father had said that he disliked, far behind them.
Ushio felt an indescribable urge to call out to the Kei that was
searching for him back then, Don’t worry, I’m right here.

Because I am your haven where you can feel safe.

And Kei…

Kei was Ushio’s haven, everything Ushio held precious, everything

Ushio needed, and so much more.

—–Translated by daydrop.

Translation Notes

Shabu shabu – A hotpot dish typically of thinly sliced beef and

vegetables that you dip in broth and cook yourself.
Sukiyaki – A hotpot dish typically of thinly sliced beef and
vegetables that is simmered at the table.
The Hikari trains run faster than the Kodama trains, but slower
than the Nozomi trains.
Lumonde biscuits are rolled crepe-like cookies with chocolate
cream filling inside. They’re made by the same manufacturer as
Alforts.
Ryukyu tatami mats – Okinawa-style mats that are square shaped
rather than the customary 2:1 rectangle shape.
Yokoyama Mitsuteru’s Sangokushi is a manga adaptation of the
Chinese novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
Hanafuda – Japanese playing cards that can be used to play a
variety of games.
Chirashizushi – A Japanese dish typically made for special
occasions where ingredients are cut up and scattered on a bed of
rice.
Osechi – Special traditional dishes eaten on New Year’s Day.
Story 6: Other Short Stories – Part 1

Author’s Note: This is a collection of stories that I’ve written for blogs
and other media. I like playing around with short, little story ideas,
and so I had a great time writing these. Whenever Tatsuki makes an
appearance, he tends to steal all the punchlines, and so in “Side
Profiles and Irises,”1 Kunieda-san gets to exact his revenge on him.

Translator Note: This part contains all of the ficlets written for Volume
1 of Yes, No, or Maybe Half?
Who Is the Child Still Up At Night?2

Kei appeared to have fallen fast asleep. So that the wheels didn’t
squeak, Ushio quietly pushed his chair back to get up, heading over
to squat in front of him. Kei must have been exhausted. He did look
a little worn out, but even his sleeping face was as beautiful. Ushio
studied his face for a while before going back to his desk. He picked
up a memo pad and started sketching.

…Oh, oh, it’s looking pretty good.

Ushio nodded to himself, happy with the results, and then started to
add a new drawing off in the margin.

Glasses and a facemask. The Kei on the piece of paper transformed

into someone who looked both like Kunieda Kei and yet didn’t—
someone different and mysterious who Ushio knew. He took a long
look at the Kei over on the sofa and compared the two.

This has to be the reason. There’s no other way to explain it. Why
didn’t I realize it earlier?

Ushio was half annoyed with himself and half amazed at how
incredible the transformation was.
What would happen if he were to wake Kei right now and tell him
that he knows? Which one of him would appear? What reaction
would he get? He had a strong urge mixed with curiosity to wake
him, but Kei was so exhausted that he was sleeping soundly on this
uncomfortable sofa that Ushio didn’t want to pressure him even more
than he already was.

What if Kei and Owari were entirely separate personalities? That

both of them weren’t aware of a changeover between them? So far
they had seemed like independent people—the possibility wasn’t
zero. If so, could he have a mental disorder? He once saw a
documentary where someone had multiple personalities, and after a
long, long period of counseling, the person was slowly able to
integrate them. The personalities didn’t disappear; they seemed to
be mixed together, but the subject had seemed like a brand-new
person. Would Kei need to have the same treatment?

“…It would be a shame,” Ushio couldn’t help saying to himself.

He didn’t want either of them to disappear; he’d feel sad if something

were to happen to either one of them. He liked the Kei who was the
perfect honors student, but who was stubborn about showing any of
his weaknesses, and he liked the Owari who was foul-mouthed,
rebellious, and rude, but whose feelings were easily hurt.

If Kei was feeling constricted by his job as an announcer, Ushio

wanted to tell that he should quit. Especially if he came all the way
here, unable to handle the pressure and stress from it. He could stay
here forever as Owari if he wanted to.

Ushio approached Kei once again. He didn’t appear to be waking

any time soon. It looked like he could sleep all the way until
tomorrow night’s (well, today’s now) broadcast. He should just let
him sleep.

There was the sound of something falling over at Ushio’s feet. It was
Kei’s bag. Did something inside cause it to tip over? He bent down to
pick it back up and caught a glance of the beat-up accent dictionary
inside the open compartment.

He had said that he didn’t want to fail and have people say that he
only got to where he was because of favoritism. That was why he
had worked so desperately…

What can I do for you?

Ushio quietly took the dictionary out of the bag and headed to his
desk holding a pencil in one hand. He didn’t know if what he could
do would be useful to Kei. It might further confuse him during such a
critical time at his work. But Ushio knew what he wanted to do.

It would be an important beacon for Kei.

One that would call him back to this house.

The scribbling of pencil lead on thin paper was mixed with the quiet
breathing of Kei sleeping, as it whispered late into the night.

(First published in a blog post celebrating the release of Dear Plus

Bunko’s “Yes, No, or Maybe Half?” in November 2014.)
Midnight Love Letter

There were times when Kei would go over to Ushio’s house at night
and Ushio would be downstairs busy on the phone. Ushio would see
Kei come inside, and he’d gesture to the second floor with his pencil,
a sign that he should wait for him upstairs. Somewhere in a corner of
the computer desk, there was always a freshly sharpened HB pencil
rolled next to a black Rhodia memo pad. Ushio had often used them
to take notes while he was on the phone.

Kei had seen Ushio off at the airport on their little date earlier, and for
some reason he was exhausted after finishing his broadcast for the
night. He couldn’t muster up the energy to go upstairs, and so he
threw himself down on the downstairs sofa. Today he didn’t even
return to his apartment to change into his private mode. He should
get out of his nice coat so he could hang it up properly, but his body
refused to budge.

Now that Kei thought about it, he hadn’t lain on this sofa since the
first time he slept here overnight. That was back in the beginning of
spring when Ushio had ignored Kei’s ramblings to stare at his
computer monitor. Now it was already the beginning of winter, and
Ushio was away. There was nothing for Kei to look at, and so he
closed his eyes feeling bored.

Shit, if he slept down here, he’d seriously catch a cold. But he was
so exhausted that his fingers felt like lead dangling down from the
sofa.

Just when he was on the verge of falling asleep, his cell phone rang
to pull him back to consciousness. It was his work cell phone, and it
probably wasn’t good news. With the hard-working diligence
ingrained inside of him, Kei quickly searched through his coat
pockets.

“Hello, Kunieda speaking.”

He was impressed that there wasn’t even a hint of the drowsiness

that was threatening to overcome him in his voice.

“Thanks for your work today. Sorry to bother you so late, but there
were last-minute changes to the time and location for tomorrow’s
assignment. I thought I should call and let you know.”

I’mmm soooo tired, Kei thought to himself as he said, “Thank you for
taking the time to call and let me know,” mixing gratitude with
humility in his voice.

“Are you ready to write it down?”

“Oh, please wait a moment.”

Something to write with, something to write with.

Kei sprang up and headed to Ushio’s desk. He picked up the simple

wooden pencil and flipped open the postcard-sized memo pad, but
there was already something written on the purple-lined graph paper.
Kei hurried to find a blank page and placed the tip of the pencil down
on it.

“…I’m very sorry for the wait, but please go ahead.”

He jotted down the information, ended his call, and once again
flipped through the memo pad. He didn’t feel particularly guilty about
it since there didn’t seem to be any confidential information in it.
There were cubes drawn making use of the graph paper lines,
squares shaded in to make a checkerboard pattern, traces of circle
drawing practice… It was basically a lot of random doodles. Kei
wondered if Ushio got bored during his phone calls.

Could he not keep his hand still? Kei thought in disbelief as he

flipped through the pages, but then he caught sight of a drawing that
was different from the others and stopped.

“—Oi.”

Kei was alone in the house, but he couldn’t help himself from saying
something out loud. Unlike the other child-like doodles, it seemed
like Ushio had put some effort into this drawing despite the simple
touch of the lines…

…This is a portrait of me.

He was sleeping in the portrait, and his hair was in his work-mode
style. It must have been from that night.

In the margin next to the Kei with his eyes closed, there was
additional drawing using simpler lines with glasses and a facemask.
He must have drawn all the details in the accent dictionary
afterwards.

It made him feel a little restless and uncomfortable seeing a version

of himself on paper that he couldn’t usually see. Was this also one
“half” of him? What kind of face did Ushio make while secretly
drawing this picture of him sleeping?

He flipped through more pages and saw his name start to appear
with greater frequency. It looked like Ushio had written them while
talking on the phone. There were hiragana versions and katakana
versions of his name too.

“Kei DVD.”

Uh, that was probably when I asked him to return stuff for me.

“Kei Beer.”

Yeah, a list of errands.

“Kei Idiot.”

What the hell? Write something better about me, dammit.

And yet, why do I want to see you so badly after looking through all
this?

Kei imagined Ushio writing his name on this memo pad while talking
to some unknown person on the phone. He remembered Ushio’s
smile as he pointed his pencil up to the second floor.

Kei flipped to a blank page and scratched a large Ushio in pencil on

it. Then he scribbled stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid all over
the page. He tossed the dulled pencil aside, ran upstairs, and threw
himself on the bed.
When Kei thought about Ushio still on a plane heading out of the
country, he felt so worked up that he wanted to throw things. How
many more nights did he have to sleep here alone?

Hurry and come home, stupid.

(First published as a gift-with-purchase bonus paper for Dear Plus

Bunko’s “Yes, No, or Maybe Half?” in November 2014.)

—–Translated by daydrop.

Translation Notes

“Side Profiles and Irises” is a spinoff series featuring Tatsuki and

his love interest. It’s very cute, and Kei and Ushio have some small
cameos in it.
The title refers to a children’s book called Nenai Ko Dare da by
Sena Keiko. It’s a slightly scary story about a naughty child who’s
awake at night and gets turned into a ghost to be abducted. It’s also
a famous meme.

Story 5: My Sun

Author’s Note: I actually quite like writing slightly dark non-BL stories
like “Imitation Gold.” You know, Nishikido-san could probably be a
bottom… It looks like the seats behind home plate at Koshien are
now called “Dream Seats.”

Illustrator’s Note: Ichiho-san requested an image of penguins lining

up at Ushio’s shaved ice stand. She said that penguins went with
shaved ice. Personally, I think I was able to draw Ushio most like
himself for this cover. The lineart is all analog.

First published in 2015 in the doujinshi My Sun.

Translator Note: The next set of side stories make references to
characters and events that appear in Volume 2 of Yes, No, or Maybe
Half.

Part 1: Memories

“We’d like to thank everyone at the TV station for hosting us today.

We are all very excited to see how our favorite shows are made and
then broadcast to our homes. We hope to learn a lot from this
experience so we can make the most of our summer vacation.
Thank you, I’m Kunieda Kei, representing Grade 4 Class 2.”

Kei finished reading his class’s remarks and bowed his head. The
lady announcer who was acting as their guide for the day praised
him enthusiastically. “Oh, wow, you’re so good at reading your
speech! Maybe one day you can be an announcer! All right! Let’s get
going so that we can show everyone all sorts of things that we do at
the station!”

This is such a pain in the butt, Kei thought. Why do we have to waste
a day of our summer vacation coming here? I want make-up
vacation days.

“There are groups from other schools here, so please pay attention
so that you don’t get left behind~”

Sure enough, there were swarms of children milling around the

lobby.

“Whoa! It’s Asazou! Can I get your autograph!?”

“Minagawa-kun, please be quiet!”

An autograph? Are you stupid? It’s just a sweaty, short, old man in
there.
“All right, Grade 4 Class 2! We’ll be heading over to the studio
now~!”

Kei narrowed his eyes at the idiot kid running around his group. He
lined up with his class and started walking.

It was the first time in his life ever seeing a set at a television studio,
and it was smaller and more cramped than he had expected. Behind
the scenes, things weren’t quite as nice as it looked on camera, but
Ushio wasn’t disappointed. It felt fresh and exciting to him.

The floor was crawling with camera cables, and it was marked with
torn pieces of colored tape stuck all over the ground.

“This is called a ‘spike.’ We use it to mark the positions of actors and

set pieces like tables and chairs. Sometimes we might use the same
studio but we will change out the sets to film different shows, and so
it’s very important to have the spikes to show where things go.”

The marks didn’t look very obvious over the screen. And it was hard
to see the nails of the set or how the set lacked any actual depth.
Using lights and clever camera work, they created a world out of the
ordinary for people to experience and watch. For some reason, it
made him excited. He could make things for people to see.

Tatsuki loved running around collecting autographs from the cast of

characters at one of the theme parks, and he proudly brought his
autograph book along with him today. So when he was told, Sorry,
Asazou can’t hold a pen, he was a little shocked. Even Doraemon
could write! Tatsuki had planned to get Asazou’s autograph today,
and he was really disappointed that he couldn’t. But as he walked
down the hall, he glanced innocently at the vending machines selling
juice and saw that they only cost 80 yen per drink.

Whoa, so cheap! I want a soda!

He wasn’t supposed to bring any money with him, but he had a

single 100 yen coin in his pocket.

Tatsuki clutched the coin in his fist as he resolved to find a chance to

buy it.

God, this is boring.

Kei had zero interest in the studio, the live broadcast vans, or the
post-recording demonstration. He was only paying attention so he
could write his field trip report later and make the adults fall over
themselves silly when they read it.

He headed to the restroom during their short break and almost ran
into little kid when he turned the corner.

“Ack! Sorry!”

Sorry doesn’t cut it. Don’t run down the hallways, you lousy brat.

Kei clicked his tongue to himself, but then he noticed something

shiny on the floor. It was a 100 yen coin. He could have picked it up
and kept it, but this place was probably filled with security cameras.
He didn’t think anyone would come and question him, but he didn’t
want to take the risk for such a piddling amount of money.

“Hold on,” Kei called out to the kid who had already put some
distance between them. “Did you happen to drop this?”
“Oh!!!” The kid ran back to Kei and opened both of his palms to show
him. “I really did drop it! It’s mine!”

He’s so freaking loud.

However, Kei just smiled kindly and said, “I’m happy you found it.”
Kei didn’t know for sure if it was the kid’s, but with that idiotic face,
he probably wasn’t lying.

“Muchas gracias!!”1

“You should put away your money properly so that you don’t lose it
next time.”

“Okay!”

Kei thought that the kid was just putting away the coin in his cargo
pants pocket, but then he pulled out something from it instead.

“This is for you as a thank you! Huge, right!?”

It was a sharp, amber-colored cicada shell.

“Yeah.” Kei nodded as he suppressed the goosebumps that

threatened to break out all over his body. “It’s great, but I can’t
accept something so precious. Don’t worry about giving me anything,
okay?”

“Really? You’re such a nice guy! Can I get your autograph?”

“Hmmm, I don’t think it’d be worth anything.”

Who the heck left this kid off his leash?

Ushio was just as deeply interested in the control room equipment as
he was in the studio. He asked the sound man all the questions that
he had, and the man answered back just as enthusiastically. Then
he realized that everyone from his class was gone. They should be
heading to the cafeteria after this—he should be able to catch up. As
he looked through the printouts they were given for the field trip and
walked through the hallway, he saw a little kid trying his very best to
reach one of the buttons on a vending machine. The kid looked like
he was a few years younger than him. Ushio called out to the kid,
“Which one do you want?”

“The Coke!”

“Okay.”

Ushio pushed the button for him, and the kid said, “Thanks!” and sat
down on a nearby chair to drink it. There was a visitor’s badge
hanging from his neck, so he was probably on a summer vacation
field trip, just like Ushio. The kid had completely forgotten his
change. Ushio went to get the change from the machine and handed
it to him.

“Oh, muchas gracias! You wanna to take a sip?”

“It’s okay. No, thanks.”

“Really? How about I tell you an amazing secret?”

The kid rummaged through the bag hanging off one shoulder, pulled
out a spiral-bound notebook, and opened it for him.

“I got this autograph recently!”

There was a famous character name written in flowing cursive script.

Hmm, so they give out autographs.

“That’s amazing.”

“I know, right? I ran to find him right when the park opened, and he
gave it to me! But…” The kid flipped through a set of pages, all of
them filled with famous character names.

Do people usually go to theme parks to collect autographs?

“I saw him again later, so I asked him for his autograph again! But
then…”

The kid pointed to the same character name, but this time it was
written in bold katakana strokes instead.

“…Huh?”

“He was probably fake, but that’s our secret, okay? If it gets out, then
the bad guys might catch him and trap him in the haunted house.”

He’s not the only fake, Ushio thought to himself, but he didn’t want to
crush a little kid’s dreams.

“I see, that’s pretty wild.”

“There you are, Minagawa-kun!” A woman came marching up to

them. “How many times have I told you not to go off wandering by
yourself!? …And what are you doing buying a soda!?”

“Yo quiero Coca Cola!”2

“That’s not what I’m asking! Come along, we’re going back to the
group!”

The kid held his Coke in one hand and waved brightly with the other
as he said, “Bye bye,” while the lady nearly dragged him back with
her. Ushio looked back over his shoulder and thought that teachers
really had it tough. That was when another group of students from
another school passed by.

“Teacher, I finished the roll call. Everyone is here.”

“Thank you, Kunieda-kun. You’ve been a lot of help.”

Ushio walked past a strangely neat boy, who smiled shyly as he

passed by. The boy would probably never buy snacks and
immediately wolf them down.

The mid-summer sun shone outside the window while the adults
busied themselves with their work inside the cool TV station. They
probably didn’t want to be showing kids around the place but had no
other choice.

Ushio wondered what kind of adult he’d be and tried imagining it. But
he couldn’t come up with anything.

Translation Notes

Tatsuki says Thank you very much! in English here.

Tatsuki says I feel Coke! (I feel like a Coke) in English here.

Part 2: Imitation Gold

Translator Note: This side story takes place around the end of
Volume 2.

Nishikido headed to the lounge area for news cameramen and

checked the memo from the camera desk. There were two camera
crews covering an emergency bomb squad response. The bomb
squad would finish their work rendering safe an explosive device that
day, but one of the crews would remain on site for continuing news
coverage. People could take a taxi over if there was no room in the
news van. A location was chosen for tomorrow night’s interview
about an expiration date scandal with K Seafoods, and a crew would
head over to Araki at 1 pm for an overnight stay… As for his own
schedule, Nishikido was assigned to cover an incident for the
daytime news. Someone had strung fishing line between some trees
at a park, and an elderly man had come across it on his bicycle in
the early morning, fell, and hurt himself. The reporter would be…
Minagawa from the announcer department. Shit, it was that loud,
annoying brat, wasn’t he? They would be teaming up for the first
time, and Nishikido wasn’t looking forward to it. It was gonna be a
real pain in the ass, he could tell.

Just as Nishikido started to head to the smoking room for a cigarette,

he ran into Kunieda walking towards him in the hallway.

“Nishikido-san, good morning.”

“Hey.”

Kunieda held up a paper gift bag. “Um, I received a box of sweets

from Narayama-kun from Nagano Asahi as a thank-you for the live
report that we did together. I was thinking of bringing them to the
camera desk.”

“You can leave them on a table somewhere. People will help

themselves to it.”

“I will do that. It seems that he is able to do his TV job normally now.”

“Heh. Well, it doesn’t change that he’s still useless.”

“He has his whole career in front of him.”

Kunieda gently covered for him, but who knew what he actually
thought. There was too much of a difference between the two of
them even after accounting for their ages—Narayama could never
compare to him no matter how hard he tried or how many chances
he was given. Anyway, there was no rule saying he couldn’t do his
job if he wasn’t spectacular at it. Nishikido had seen plenty of
lackluster announcers over the course of his career, and Narayama
was another drop in the bucket.

“Hey, what’s that Minagawa kid like, Kunieda?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Gonna cover a live report with him today. He’s on The News with
you, right?”

“…I believe it would be better to see for yourself rather than asking
me. You’ll understand in about 30 seconds once you meet him,”
Kunieda replied with a vague smile. He wasn’t the type to put on
airs, so why was he dancing around the question?

Nishikido was smoking a cigarette in the smoking room when the

door opened and he saw a face that would never usually show itself
in this place.

“Nishikido-san, long time no see.”

There were 3 or 4 other people smoking in the room, but when they
saw Asou, they immediately put out their cigarettes and excused
themselves. Asou hadn’t said a word to them, but it was ridiculous to
yield their right to smoke in the few places where it was allowed.
Nishikido blew a puff of smoke at him, clearly declaring that he didn’t
give a damn about the guy’s throat.

“What do you want?”

“It looked like Kunieda was in your care in Nagano, and I wanted to
say thank you very much.”

“What the hell are you saying when you were obviously toying with
the kid?”

“If he had folded at that little objection, then the smart thing to do
would be to call off the report. The public airwaves aren’t for after-
school playtime.”

“Heh.” Nishikido lit up another cigarette.

“Besides, I got to see Kunieda push back for the first time since he’s
been here. That honors student who completes all his assignments
with nothing short of A+’s. It was all worth it.”

“And I hate how you look down at everyone like they’re pawns for
your own amusement,” Nishikido spat out along with a lungful of
smoke. “You and Shitara both—you trying to crush him until he
flames out from all the work you pushed on him? His workload’s
been crazy. You think you’re giving him an endurance test or
something?”

“Now this is a rare sight,” Asou laughed, not afraid in the least. “I
could never imagine you caring enough to step in for one of our
youngsters here.”

“It’s not like that. I could say the same for you. You go around like no
announcers are worth a damn except you, but here you are playing
mentor. So you finally feel like shaping a successor for yourself,
huh?”

“Why do you think it’s even necessary to have a successor for me?”

Nishikido could see a shimmer of heat rising off of Asou’s shoulders,

but the temperature in the narrow, closed room plummeted between
them. Well, maybe both things were just him imagining things. In any
case, he realized all over again how he hated the guy.

“Probably ‘cause there’s only one genius in a generation,” Nishikido

answered.

“I’ve never thought of it like that. Talent is largely unfair, bestowed by

chance on people who never wanted it in the first place.”

“Oh, really.”

“Just like it did for you.”

Nishikido’s eyes widened at the surprising response to his

halfhearted reply. “The hell?”

“You might think of yourself as a dried-up cameraman who can only

get work in the news, but what you think is far from the truth. To put it
very simply, your camera skills are so far beyond genius that nothing
else compares. Now matter how mundane a subject is, once you
train your camera on it, you transform it into something special,
Nishikido-san.”

“You’re creeping me out.”

“Speaking of which, I clearly remember said person rejecting all the

prizes he was awarded, saying that he didn’t want any of that ‘crap’
in his words and skipping out on the award ceremonies…”

“Shut the hell up!”

Nishikido supported himself and his family on other people’s

misfortunes, and it didn’t sit well with him to get showered with praise
for sticking his nose into those misfortunes. However, he didn’t feel
the need to disclose any of those mushy details to this damn
bastard. Irritated, he raised his voice so loud that he scared a
number of staff people who were walking by beyond the glass door.
But Asou just gave a cool and calm “Sorry for bothering you on your
break” and turned around to leave.

“Um, Asou-san, are you all right? What just happened…?”

“It’s fine, it’s nothing.”

Great, now there’ll be rumors going around saying that I threatened

the treasure of Asahi TV. Heh.

Kunieda was spot on with his words when he said he’d understand in
about 30 seconds.

“Nishikido-san, were you really with a foreign mercenary force?”

Were there really idiots who would ask a question like this after
introducing himself? Nishikido ignored him and climbed into the
news van.

“Is it true that you have 7 bullet hole wounds in your chest?”

Ignore.

“Do you really have the names of all your fallen comrades tattooed
all over your body?”

Ignore.

“Do you really know a hundred different ways to kill someone with
your bare hands?”

“Shut the hell up, will you!? I don’t even know 10!”
“Awww, man, but I wanted you to teach me all 100 of them.”
Minagawa looked sincerely disappointed.

“Who the hell’s spreading this stupid shit!?”

“Huh? I feel like everyone’s saying it at the network.”

“You’re the only one who ridiculous enough to ask the guy to his
face…” the director mumbled from the front passenger seat. What
the hell was the announcer department teaching their staff?

“Hey, I gotta get to the bottom of things. I’m part of the news
department too, you know?”

“Hey, brat, yammer all you want, but you better have all the materials
for today’s report in your head. I’m gonna deck you if you drag your
feet at the site.”

“Oh, didn’t I just give my name? It’s Minagawa, remember~?”

Nishikido ignored him, crossed his arms, and hardened his eyes. He
didn’t know why, but apparently it made his face was so stern-
looking that most people were too scared to talk to him any longer.

“Nishikido-san, are you listening? Hello, I’m Minagawa Tatsuki.”

…But there were exceptions sometimes.

“Good evening, I’m Takigawa Christel. Good evening, I’m Kouda

Charmine.”1

That’s a pretty old name. How does he know of her?

“Hi, I’m Goku!”2

“…………..”
“Oh, was that a laugh I detected? You laughed, didn’t you? Da-dun!
Nishikido, you’re out~! Want a bat to the butt? How about a Thai
kick? Or how about you just treat me to some ramen when we finish
the report?”3

“Oi! Someone shove this brat out the window! I haven’t done any
work yet and I’m exhausted!”

“That’s just the way he is. Please get used to him, okay?”

However, once they got to the site and Nishikido focused his camera
on the idiot, he transformed in an instant into a professional
announcer. Damn infuriating brat, Nishikido thought to himself.

When Nishikido got home at night, his wife told him, “You have a
package.”

“From who?”

“Let’s see… From a Tsuzuki-san. There’s a thank-you note attached

to it. Sorry, but Yuka opened it already.”

“Oi, you stupid girl, don’t open my stuff!”

“The Kyoho grapes were delish~!” the idiot daughter answered

fearlessly. “It’s not like you’re gonna eat them anyway, Dad.”

“That’s not the point.”

He didn’t press the issue since it wasn’t like she cared, so he went to
call the sender.

“Hello, thanks for calling.”

“Oi, whatcha sending unnecessary stuff for?”

Tsuzuki was an acquaintance of Kunieda’s, and Nishikido met him

when they were in Nagano covering a live report. He was kinda an
odd fellow, but he seemed to earn part of his living using the camera
too, so Nishikido introduced him to a shop that would sell him
equipment far cheaper than the retail stores if he gave them his
name .

“Thanks to your help I was able to buy the tripod that I wanted. I was
really surprised at how big of a discount they gave me.”

It probably wasn’t so cheap that it made up for the expense of the

Kyoho grapes.

“Now I’m feeling a little greedy and thinking a GoPro would be nice.
What do you think?”

“You’ll get your money’s worth with a GoPro. The sound and picture
quality are decent enough, and it’s great on location. All the
waterproof cases up until now interfered with the sound and fogged
up the lens under any sort of heat.”

It crossed his mind that if he had a son, maybe their conversations

would go like this. Not that he would want him to follow in his
footsteps, but they could have fun and talk like this. They could talk
about baseball and stuff. But there was also the possibility of getting
a son as loud as Minagawa, and it almost sent chills down his spine.

Nishikido hung up the phone, and idiot daughter #2 came home.

“I’m home~! …Hey, turn on The News!!”

“I’m watching baseball!”

“Go watch it in your room.”

She grabbed the remote and changed the channel. It switched to a
shot of Kunieda on the screen.

“Yay, he’s on! It’s Kunieda Kei!”

“Oh! I wanna watch too!”

“He hasn’t been on the show a lot lately~ It really bums me out when
he’s not on. He’s as cool today as ever~ Just looking at him heals
my soul~ The best thing after a long day is soaking up a beautiful
man~”

“I like Minagawa-kun~ He’s so cheerful and cute!”

“Don’t be fooled, he’s gotta be a player. Innocent-looking guys like

him play around the most.”

“No way…”

“Who cares if he plays around, he’ll never be yours in a million

years.” Nishikido was so fed up with this stupid conversation that he
couldn’t help but put a word in, but then he was attacked all at once.

“So what!? I’m saying it knowing full well that it’s the case!”

“If you’re gonna say that, then set up a singles party with Kunieda
Kei for us!”

“Dammit, you two are loud! I can’t relax here!”

“Yuka, Ami, it’s already late so keep it down. Dear, Mai called me this
afternoon, asking if you could film the kindergarten’s school play.”

“Didn’t she ban me from ever going there again?”

The kindergarten where their oldest daughter’s daughter (yeah, more

girls) attended had a system where they hired professionals to film
and photograph their big school events. Parents could order photos
and DVDs from the events, but in return, they were prohibited from
filming any point of the events themselves. It avoided battles
between parents who tried to stake out the best positions for filming,
and it protected the children from predators who might try to target
them…at least that was the explanation from the kindergarten.

It was back in June when the kindergarten had held its sports
festival. He thought it was a crazy world this day and age as he
watched the games and races, but then the damn camera operator
who they had doing the filming kept irritating him. Like really, he
wanted to film that position? That was the angle he wanted to use?
And when his irritation finally spiked, he had grabbed the guy’s
camera. After a quick check through the shots, it horrified him how
terrible the guy was. He had roared, Who the hell would be happy
with these crooked, out-of-focus shots!? scaring the guy, and he took
it upon himself to film the remainder of the event. His granddaughter
was ecstatic, but his daughter was furious and ordered him, Never
show your face here again! Anyway, he only went because she had
asked, so it wasn’t like it was any chip off his shoulder.

“It seems like the DVD that they made using your footage was a
huge hit with the parents. They were saying how stupid they were for
spending money on the DVDs before…”

“What did I say, heh?”

“She said it’ll be in October. Do you think you can do it?”

“Dunno yet.”

Now things had turned into a huge pain in the ass. He was about to
take a bath and head to bed, but then his cell phone rang—just once
—as he got up. The first thing he thought when he checked the caller
was whether he had any cash in his wallet.

“…I’m gonna head out for a drink.”

“All right, take care and come back safely.”

“Something’s fishyyyy.”

“It’s gotta be another woman.”

His wife saw him off quietly as his daughters jeered in the
background. In all the years they had been together, he never
remembered her ever once asking who he was seeing or where he
was going this late at night. She was really too good for him. He
never lifted a finger to help out with the housework or to look after
the children; his work schedule was always erratic; and if a major
emergency or disaster happened, he would be called away for a
week or two at a time. She never complained once, accepting
everything with a “I understand, please be careful.” She even gave
him 3 energetic daughters and kept up her own health.

She’s really wasted on me, he said deep down in his heart as he

climbed into a vacant taxicab.

Nishikido arrived at a tiny, stuffy bar squeezed under an overpass,

and the bastard was sitting at the counter in the very back. He raised
his hand at Nishikido and called out, “Kido-chan,” a nickname that he
hadn’t heard from anyone at the network in a long time. “Long time
no see.”

“Yeah,” Nishikido replied gruffly.

The bastard’s voice was bright and glossy, like a coating of varnish.
It had grown deeper as he aged, but even with the alcohol and his
deadbeat life, it never lost any of its spark. He was always naturally
handsome, and his good-for-nothing lifestyle only made him more
alluring—he never had any trouble getting women.
“You doing well?” the bastard asked.

“I guess. Hey, boss, gimme a beer.”

“I see you still haven’t quit.”

“How would you know?”

The bastard had already started without him, and he raised his glass
of cold sake and chuckled. “I can always tell which shots are yours,
Kido-chan. It could be a 20-second clip for a flash news segment or
a 5-second transition cut—I can always tell.”

Nishikido recalled Asou using the word “talent.” What a joke. He

never had anything like that. The bastard sitting next to him could be
considered talented once upon a time. He had long abandoned his
vocalization training, and yet his voice was still as strong as ever.
There was no better proof of his talent than this.

“You’re such a workaholic.”

“Not really.”

If this oversized burden that could devour someone’s life was what
people called “talent,” then Nishikido wanted none of it.

“…You know, I worked with a pretty interesting announcer recently,”

Nishikido said in a low voice, pouring his bottle of beer into a glass.
“He’s on the nightly news. Name’s Kunieda Kei. You ever watch
him? He looks like pampered rich kid from the outside, and I thought
he was another rotting bean sprout that you find everywhere
nowadays. You know: no guts, only knows how to get good grades.
But then he really surprised me—”

“…Kido-chan.”
Nishikido shut his mouth at the sound of the lazy-sounding voice.
Sometimes he felt like he devolved into a dumb dog when he was
with this bastard.

“I don’t give a shit about your story.”

There was nothing else to say after that. It happened all the time, but
it didn’t anger him.

It’s weird, but the alcohol’s always terrible and makes me sick when I
drink next to you.

They stayed at the bar for about an hour, and the bastard got up to
leave without paying his bill. This happened all the time too. He
waited for Nishikido outside the bar and repeated his usual line.

“Kido-chan, lend me some money, will you?”

Nishikido silently handed over all the bills in his wallet. There was
never a time that he paid him back, and Nishikido couldn’t recall how
much money he had forked over in total over the years. The bastard
shoved the bills into his pocket without counting them, breezily giving
him a “Thanks” like he was asking for a light for a cigarette, and left
to go back somewhere—probably some woman’s place.

It was a miserable life. The bastard had no job, no home, no savings,

no wife, no children, no grandchildren. There was nothing to envy
about his life.

But the bastard still blinded him—shining so brightly after all these
years. Even if it was just a trick of the light reflecting through the red
rusted metal, long after all of the plating had peeled off, Nishikido
couldn’t take his eyes off of this imitation’s radiance.
Shit, he really hated announcers.

Translation Notes

Takigawa Christel is a freelance TV announcer and news

presenter, most active in the 2000s. Kouda Charmine is a Japanese
journalist and news presenter active in the 1980s.
Tatsuki is repeating Goku’s famous line from Dragonball: Ossu,
ora Goku!
Tatsuki is reprising the punishment game gag from Gaki no
Tsukai.

Part 3: My Sun

Translator Note: Summer Koshien is usually held in August, so this

side story takes place about a month after the end of Volume 2.

“And it’s time for our very popular corner this week!”

“That’s right, we be droppin’ the trousers of normal, everyday objects

to uncover their secret, sexy side.”

“Last time we said we would issue our sexy reading challenge to a

number of gravure idols to read a professional sumo wrestling
rankings table. Unfortunately, the sports department at Asahi TV had
objections to us using material that could give an official impression.”

“Told us we’d be trouble if we say ‘em. Too bad, eh?”

“And so we’ve prepared a challenge for today that won’t get us into
trouble. Take a look at the board! It’s the periodic table of elements!”
“Y’all remember making up mnemonic devices to memorize the
elements in school?”

“Well, if we get flooded by angry messages from Madam Curie or

whomever, we can’t do a thing about it.”

“Reckon no one could do a thing if that happened. And the

challenger reading the periodic table and making it sexy is… Asahi
TV’s rookie announcer, Kunieda Kei-kun~!”

“Good evening. I’m Kunieda Kei, and this is my first year with the
network.”

“Ooh, a dashin’ fine young man he is.”

“That he is.”

“Um, thank you…”

“Hmm, you look like you’ve never had to lift a finger to get anything
you wanted in life.”

“Why the sudden chilly reception? Kunieda-kun, you have yourself a

real smooth voice there for an announcer, but we’d like you to add a
little sexiness to your voice today. Can ya do that for us?”

“Yes, I’ll try my best.”

“The judging criteria will be how hard you can make the two of us.”

“Shush up, you!”

“He’s not from a talent agency, so it’s okay, right?”

“Let’s steer away from the off-color jokes. I beg ya.”

“The producer said we could do whatever we want, yeah?”

“I’m beggin’ ya, please.”

“He also said that Kunieda-kun might not be happy with anything
past Boron.”

“If he can’t handle Boron, then he’s not gonna like anything that
comes after it. Awww, his face is getting darker and darker, so let’s
get right to it! What shall we make him read first?”

“Hmm, let’s start with Period 5. Please go ahead.”

“Rub Sir Yates to zero. Noble moderation of tactics rusts each

rhapsody paid.”1

“…Oooh, that’s quite nice.”

“Sounds very profound, dunnit?”

“By the way, Kunieda-kun, do you do a lot of rubbing?”

“Uh… I wonder…”

“Don’t slip in bits of sexual harassment, you. All right, next.”

“Next, hmm? Let’s do the famous one from the families. Group 2!”

“Beloved in magic, she captivated sorely bare and ravished.”2

“Wow—”

“That’s the one, that’s the one~ Very sexy, isn’t it? Let’s keep it up
with Group 13.”

“Bosoms and all, she gathers intelligence.”3

“That’s deep. Just what a man wants.”

“By the way, Kunieda-kun, are you a breasts kind of man…?”

“Are you tryin’ to send him on a marriage interview?”

“Just wondering if he had a taste for them that’s all.”

“Why wouldn’t he like them? He’s a real good looker, after all.”

“Actually, I think breasts would have a taste for Kunieda-kun more.

He’s the type that nice things would get addicted to in return.”

“And what’s that supposed to look like?”

“The rainbow that appears after crying your eyes out?”

“I don’t understand where this is going no more.”

“All right, let’s proceed! Group 15.

“New porn aspirations, subscriptions bi-weekly.”4

“That’s good information to know. Hmm… Group 17.”

“The fevered clutch of a bra, an inside attack.”5

“Does anybody else feel like it veered into baseball territory? An

inside attack? Are you tryin’ to get on base?”

“Well, you could say it’s one of the bases, getting your hands inside.
Is it not poetic? Like a haiku?”

“Uh, it ain’t a haiku.”

“Let’s see… Can we say the next one on air? What? Can we really
say it? Okay then~ The producer is giving us a smile, so let’s go!
Group 16~”

“Open spent sex, teenaged poetry.”6

“Oh, and a risque word finally appears! That was pretty hot.”

“So hot it made our nipples—I’m talking nipples here—fully hard.”

“Speak for yourself!”

“By the way, Kunieda-kun. What’s the chemical symbol for

hydrogen?”

“That would be H.”

“What about mercury?”

“That would be Hg.”

“How about bohrium?”

“That would be Bh.”

“Holmium?”

“That would be Ho.”

“Hafnium?”

“That would be Hf.”

“You just wanna make him say ‘ecchi’,7 you dirty old man!”

“All right, let’s close the segment by having our guest read Group 16
one final time!”

“Open spent sex—”

“Oi!!!”

His headphones were suddenly torn from his head. Oh, he hadn’t
realized it was so late.

“Hey, you’re back from work.”

“And here I thought you were busy working! What the hell are you
watching!?”

“I was looking for videos of Kunieda-san I could wank to.”

Ushio had just happened to see this video in his recommendations

list based on his viewing history, but Kei was so bright red with anger
that Ushio couldn’t help but tease him.

“You idiot!!”

“It was delicious seeing Kunieda-san ravished on camera. Thanks

for the meal~”

“Shut up!! It was a dirty job they made me do when I was first hired!!”

“No, no, you were wonderful in your shy little performance, I was
really impressed~!”

“I told you to shut up!!”

Kei had probably impaled him with 10,000 spikes inside his
imagination by now. Although Kei was a guttermouth, he rarely
spewed anything dirty or sexual in his rants, and Ushio figured that
he had a particular revulsion to this clip that was different from the
aversion that he felt for his other past variety show jobs. Kei hated
being the butt of people’s jokes even though he had such an
amusing personality for it.
The poor thing… they had subjected him to this torture, broadcasted
it over the airwaves, and now it was preserved on the Internet for
posterity. Ushio felt bad for him, but he also felt a kind of twisted
sense of happiness. And at the same time, it pissed him off. The
patterns shifted, ever-changing, like scattered pieces of jewels
tumbling inside a kaleidoscope.

“Can I get this on DVD? I think I might buy a copy…”

“And the moment it arrives, I’m gonna smash it to pieces.”

“Fine then, how about I ask Kunieda-san to give me a special live

performance~”

Ushio smiled meaningfully as he stood up from his chair and lightly

caressed Kei’s chin. Kei immediately shoved him away hard.

Oh, he’s so self-conscious right now~

“What the hell are you saying, idiot!?”

“You’ll say some dirtier lines for me than those comedians on the
show, right?”

“Moron.”

“Well, your mouth gets progressively dirtier as you get close to your
climax.”

“No, I don’t!”

“There was that one thing you said and the other thing you said…
I’m too embarrassed to repeat it out loud.”

“I never said those things!!”

“Try your best tonight too, okay?”

“What’s there to try at, dummy!? Anyway, you’re not getting any
tonight!”

“Oh, I see. Roger that.”

Ushio withdrew his hands without a care in the world, and this time
Kei reacted with a betrayed expression on his face.

He is too amusing. It is really okay for things to go my way so easily?

He’s basically falling into my lap.

…But Ushio knew very well that Kei was the one who allowed him to
revel in this dynamic of theirs—that it was only one side of many of
his different facets that Kei showed only to Ushio. But Kei showed
him this face so often when they were alone together that he couldn’t
help but to get carried away with it.

“Guess I’ll go to bed,” Ushio declared, cool and unbothered, and

headed for the second floor.

Although Ushio hadn’t asked, Kei trailed after him and explained,
“It’s because I have an overnight assignment tomorrow.”

“Hmm?”

“And it’ll be kinda hard.”

“Oh, harder than what I watched?”

“Not that kind of hard, dammit!”

“Well, whatever it is, do your best.”

After delivering his very fake-sounding encouragement, Ushio

abruptly turned around. He caught Kei off-guard, frozen and unable
to hide his dejection.
“…I’m just kidding, dummy.” Ushio used the height advantage from
the stairs to drop a kiss on Kei and whispered, “Of course, I’m
disappointed. It’s finally the weekend, and I wanted to have sex with
you.”

Kei normally had no shortage of things to say (mostly nitpicking

anything that bothered him), but all his words left him when it came
to times like these. In its place, the wavering irises in his eyes, his
breathing, the heat of his breath—they all eloquently conveyed Kei’s
feelings to him instead.

“…In return, when you get back, I’d like some extra special
treatment. Such as dirty talk, or dirty talk, or dirty talk.”

“Go read Good Morning Sanspo8 if you want it so badly!”

After hurling his retort, Kei forced his way past Ushio up the stairs.
When he got to the second floor, he immediately turned around.

“What the heck is this?”

“Got it from someone.”

“What do you mean you got it from someone?”

There was a hand-cranked shaved ice maker sitting on top of the

table anointing the space. It wasn’t one of the small ones designed
for home use and looked like a toy, but a commercial-grade one with
a large handle wheel that could be used to run a stand or a shop.

“I loaned a friend some money and he asked me to take it instead of

giving me cash.”

“Huh, how much did you lend him?”

“50,000 yen9… or maybe less? Anyway, I lent it to him with the
expectation that I wouldn’t get it back. I might as well take it since
he’s offering.”

“What? You gonna open a stand with it?”

“I’ll give it to another friend of mine who wants to use it at his bar.”

“For how much?”

“I can’t press him for cash like that. I’ll have him treat me to a
number of free meals, and that’d be that.”

“Heh…”

“But a guy I know who graduated from an art college might go back
to open a stand at their school festival. You still feel like eating
shaved ice in the fall, right? If he does it, you should come and
attract customers to the stand.”

“It’ll be 10,000 yen per hour,”10 Kei answered brusquely.

Ushio didn’t know if Kei realized it or not, but whenever he detected

any hint of Ushio’s outside relationships with people he didn’t know,
it would always put him in a bad mood. Ushio wondered if it was
because it made him anxious—that Ushio had a whole other world
outside of this house.

If Kei became serious about it, he could build his own relationships
with people without hiding behind a mask. There was Tatsuki, and
although there were a lot of things that had happened with him, they
seemed like they were now on fairly good terms as senior-junior
colleagues. And Ushio knew plenty of people who didn’t care about
sexual orientation and knew how to keep their mouths shut. But Kei
would probably refuse, not wanting anything to do with other people.
That what he had now was good enough. But Kei’s stubborn
obstinance in his dependence on him didn’t bother Ushio.
“I’ll make some shaved ice for you.”

“What’s so great about it? You just shave some ice and pour syrup
on it.”

“There are a lot of little things to consider, you know.”

Ushio pulled out a special ice mold from the freezer and placed it in
the sink. Then he left it sitting there.

“Oi, make it.”

“It’s important for the ice to sit out at room temperature until it starts
melting.”

Kei gave him a deeply suspicious look, like he didn’t trust what he
was saying, but it was easier to show him than to explain. He’d
understand it soon enough.

“By the way, where are you going for your assignment?”

“Koshien,” Kei replied, full of dread at the prospect.

“High school baseball? That’s unusual; isn’t Minagawa in charge of

sports coverage?”

“I’m covering material that’s related to it, so it isn’t purely the

tournament. They said it would be better to have someone who isn’t
very knowledgeable about baseball… The director can drop dead.
The announcer desk who put me on this can drop dead too.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Of course, I don’t like it! What fun is there sweating my ass off
outside in the damn heat, watching a bunch of brats chase after a
stupid ball?”
“Poor you. How about I bring my shaved ice machine and cheer you
on?”

“Awesome, don’t go back on your word.”

“It’ll be 200,000 yen per hour,11 meals and transportation not

included.”

“I could hire a servant and make him fan me.”

In the meanwhile, the ice had softened up to the point where it was
ready to eat. First, Ushio made a cup of concentrated espresso.
Then he set a small glass bowl under shaver, placed the ice block in
the holder, and slowly started to turn the handle. There was a decent
amount of resistance as it turned and shaved through the ice,
producing a cool and refreshing sound.

After collecting a neat, mountain-shaped pile of ice, Ushio placed a

scoop of vanilla ice cream on top and swirled espresso over the
whole thing.

“It’s an affogato12 version. The ice is already sweetened, but if it’s

not enough I have condensed milk you can add.”

Ushio handed Kei a spoon, and he immediately dug into the shaved
ice, toppling it (hey, you could be more grateful), and started eating.

“How is it? Soft and fluffy, right?”

Kei silently nodded his head. At times like this, he was always, well,
cute and honest. Ushio had taken the time to dissolve sugar into the
water, allowing it to freeze slowly while preventing as many
impurities from forming in the ice as possible… It was a time-
consuming process, but it was worth it.
“This would easily cost me 1,000 yen13 at a cafe, but I can have it
free here…”

Oh, no, I plan to get collect my money’s worth later.

“When are you handing it over?”

“Monday, probably.”

“That’s quick.”

“It takes up a lot of room. And anyway, I already talked to the guy.”

Kei still looked dissatisfied, but Ushio said, “I’ll make it for you again
Sunday night,” and Kei reluctantly accepted it, scooping up a
spoonful of brown and white marbled ice.

The next day, Kei returned to his apartment in the morning to pack
and prepare for his assignment. Ushio ordered a new mattress
online—the old one was starting to wear out, maybe because of the
increased burden it had been taking lately. He headed out for a
meeting with a client, but then the client called to postpone it by two
hours. As he wondered how to kill off some time, he headed into a
nearby art museum, thinking it would at least be cool inside. There
was a special exhibit featuring 19th century European artists that he
was completely unfamiliar with.

“Would you like to use our audio guide?”

“Uh… yeah, sure.”

It was only on a whim that he decided to use one. He never liked

listening to other people’s interpretations and explanations of art,
and he would normally never seek it out. Maybe it was because he
wasn’t all too interested in the exhibit itself that he decided to play
the audio guide as background noise.

Ushio put on the pair of headphones and pressed the play button on
the remote. After a soft piece of classical music played for the intro,
the narration started.

“Wha!?” Ushio inadvertently shouted.

The museum staff gave him a few hard, cold looks, and Ushio
hurried to cover his mouth.

Hey, it’s really not my fault here.

But no one here would be able to understand Ushio’s shock.

“Hello, and welcome to a very special exhibit. I will be your navigator,

Asahi TV announcer, Kunieda Kei.”

It was a surprise attack in the closed environment of a pair of

headphones; it would be impossible to hear this and not be shocked.
Maybe Asahi TV was one of the sponsors or supporters for the
exhibit. When did he do jobs like this? Ushio had never heard about
it, so that probably meant that Kei didn’t want to talk about this job. It
scared him how he had just stumbled upon this by coincidence.
Chance and fate were two sides of the same coin, essentially.

Ushio figured that he had found new material he could use to tease
Kei when he returned home from his assignment, and so he put the
headphones back on and listened to the sound of Kunieda-san’s
voice as he wandered around looking at the paintings. Ushio
understood almost immediately why Kei hadn’t mentioned this job to
him. The exhibit contained a lot of nudes and sexual themes. The
paintings themselves weren’t so explicit to cause arousal, but
coupled with the audio guide, Ushio faced quite a destructive force.
Come on, it was Kunieda-san saying things in that smooth voice of
his like in pursuit of expressions of sexual love or a nude of a woman
accentuating the voluptuous curve of her hips. How was he
supposed to remain calm?

“Freed from religious oppression, they painted canvases upon

canvases overflowing with the ecstasy and carnal release found in
the embrace of intercourse.”

Whoa, okay. This was even more dangerous than the periodic table
reading challenge. Ushio wondered what expression Kunieda-san
had made when he recorded this narration. What face did he make
under that cool and composed expression of his?

Ahhh, dammit.

Ushio’s body was becoming unmanageable with the auditory

onslaught, and he thought accusingly at Kei in his head, What are
you going to do about this? He didn’t have sex last night; he had a
meeting with a client coming up shortly; and Kei wouldn’t be back
until tomorrow night.

Don’t set off a bomb like this on me here.

Ushio wanted to bury himself from the head down in shaved ice.

His cell phone rang early in the morning. Incredibly early for a
Sunday morning at 6 am.

“Hey, Tsuzuki-san! Good morning~! I’m going hydroflying at Zushi

Beach in a bit today! Want to come along~?”

“You sure have a lot of energy this early in the morning…”

“I’m terrible at waking up early, so I’ve been up since last night,”

Tatsuki answered casually.
Ushio was also up until dawn working on a project, but he couldn’t
muster up the energy to enjoy any water activities.

“I’ll pass,” he answered, yawning.

“What, really?”

“Invite me some other time.”

“Kunieda-san… would never come, huh? Oh, he’s probably lining up

at Koshien right now.”

“Why? There’s still time until the first game.”

Besides, if he had permission to film, he shouldn’t have to line up for

tickets.

“Well, technically, he’s not covering the high school kids for his
assignment,” Tatsuki said. “Do you know how there are always these
weird old men sitting behind home plate at the tournament? They
don’t look like they’re school officials or parents of the kids.”

“Nope.”

“They seem to be the same people sitting in those seats. They’re

high school baseball nuts, pretty much. Apparently, they follow their
local teams from the regional tournaments, and they watch all the
games at Koshien from the beginning until the end. They line up in
the middle of the night to get their seats and spend the whole day
watching the games…”

“Hmm… So what about it?”

“So that’s why he’s covering this Superfans Behind Home Plate!
special report thing.”
“Who wants to see that kind of report?”

“Dunno~ But that’s the assignment that was approved, you know?
We just do whatever work we’re assigned. Anyway, I’ll invite you to
something else sometime.”

“Sure, sure.”

It was early in the morning, and yet the house was already hot and
stuffy from the heat. Ushio got up out of bed, opened the curtains,
and the light from the summer sun felt like it could blind him.
Yesterday’s weather report had said something like the entire
country would be sunny today, and so Koshien was probably seeing
the same kind of weather. Just thinking about filming outside under
this sun was enough to depress him. It’ll be kinda hard? More like
insanely hard. Ushio never looked at Kei’s work with a sense of pity
because it was rude, but today, he felt entirely small and inferior in
the comfort of his own home where he could reach for the A/C
remote and feel a nice, cool breeze.

He had been at the receiving end of dirty jokes. He had narrated

content featuring sexual themes in an elegant manner. He covered
stories outside under the scorching sun. They were all equally Kei’s
work. Ushio thought that Kei was truly incredible.

Seriously, my boyfriend is amazing.

His cell phone rang again at night.

“Would you like to go out for drinks?”

“I know I said to invite me out again sometime…”

But this was too short of a time to be asking again.

“But he should be getting back pretty soon.”

“Oh, he should be exhausted by now. Did you hear from him?”

“No.”

Apparently what was exhausted wasn’t simply physical exhaustion.

“Well, I heard that his assignment ran into trouble.”

“Huh?”

“Something about the tournament committee raising an objection

over it…”

“But didn’t they already approve it? Why else would the TV crew go
all the way there?”

Ushio had heard that the conditions for covering high school
baseball were notoriously strict. If anyone did anything out of line or
without permission, they would ban the entire network from the
premises.

“Hmmm, well, I’m pretty sure that we told them up front that we
weren’t able to define the limits to our coverage. But maybe they’re
telling us to make a guess anyway?”

“Huh…”

The tournament committee really did seem like a complicated party

to deal with. But they were the ones who held all of the power over
what could and couldn’t be done, and so there was nothing that
anyone could say or do. Ushio had dealt with a number of clients
who were similar to them before, but all he could say was that it was
a tough position to be in.
“Yeah, so the committee said it to them again when the crew went to
give their regards after wrapping up. That was after Kunieda-san had
watched three games straight back-to-back.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. The director tried to stop him, saying that such rabid fans
were out of the norm and that he didn’t have to go so far for the
coverage, but Kunieda-san insisted, saying that he wouldn’t
understand them unless he went through the same experience as
the people he was covering.”

“I see…”

Kei would be angry if Ushio called him awkward, but there was no
other way to describe him. No matter how much he cursed or
complained, he refused to ever take shortcuts or loopholes when it
came to his work. At any rate, Ushio hoped and prayed that Kei
wasn’t too dispirited when he came back.

“Die!! That damn, lousy committee!!”

Oh, good, sounds like he’s plenty spirited.

Despite being a young man in good health, Ushio was worried that
being outside in the heat all day might have taken its toll on Kei’s
stamina, but maybe it was better to be exploding with anger than the
other way around.

“Welcome back.”

“They’re gonna pay me 300,000 yen14 per hour, and I’ll hire
Chono.15 Then they’re gonna line up real nicely so he can give them
all a good slap. Hard enough to turn their heads 180 degrees.”
And then there was this sense of inexplicable woe of his. Kei was
absolutely serious in his grievances, but listening to him made Ushio
laugh uncontrollably. Kei definitely possessed enough power to be
able to raise schemes from behind the shadows, but what was this
natural disposition to default into a comedian all the time?

It was really simple. Being with Kei, he just somehow made Ushio
feel better.

“It’s not something to laugh at!”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Huh?”

“Oi, I love you.”

“Huhhh?”

Kei’s slightly sunburned face twisted up in embarrassment more than

usual. When Ushio placed his hands there to touch him, Kei’s face
was burning like it had stored an entire day’s worth of the sun’s rays.

Ushio pulled Kei into his arms and smelled the scent of soap.

“Did you take a shower before coming?”

“Yeah, since I was at a day-use hotel. I was covered in sweat,

sunblock, and dust. It was the filthiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

It’s great when I don’t go on air because I’m covered in sweat, Kei
had said. It seemed that it was more important to Kei to preserve his
prince-like image than to feel dejected about being passed over for
an assignment. When it came to Kunieda-san, he didn’t feel the
slightest need to have people watch him as he overcame his
struggles.
“What did you do that for? You should have come straight home.
What a waste.”

“Don’t say something so gross!”

“All right, let’s sweat it out some more, just like the high school
baseball kids.”

“What the hell are you even saying!?”

“Aww, come on now.” Ushio was happy to see Kei, and so he smiled.
“Let’s indulge ourselves in some of that ecstasy and carnal release
found in the embrace of intercourse too.”

“Wha—…”

Kei stiffened and immediately turned so red it was like he had

swallowed the sun.

Ushio’s new mattress had already arrived, and he figured he could

work the old one through its final moments as hard as he wanted.

“Ahhh…!”

Every time the mattress dipped, Kei released a shout.

“Nnnn, noo— W-Wait… it’s too much…”

“Yeah, me too…”

“I don’t… mean it… like that…”

The air conditioning was running, but it was set in eco mode for
28°C16 and not nearly enough to cool them down from their
activities. But Ushio wanted to have hot and sweaty sex—to sweat
out all of their irritation and exhaustion through their bodies.

“Here, drink up.”

Entangled together, Ushio passed a bottle of Pocari17 from the side

table that he had pulled over next to the bed. Kei took a mouthful
from the bottle, lying face-up, and it was a challenge not to choke
and spill everything before he gave the bottle back. It seriously
reminded him of a sports meet.

“It’s hot…”

“It’s good sometimes, right?”

“It’s not.”

“Oh?”

Kei was covered everywhere in sweat. Ushio forced one of Kei’s legs
up and gave a hard thrust with his hips.

“Nhhh, noo, ahh—!”

“Nmm…”

Maybe the tip of his cock buried inside of Kei had struck something
there, because powerful convulsions bore down on him like ripples of
waves. It was proof of Kei’s orgasm—deep and intense, marred
down into his flesh. How was this body, thoroughly familiar with his
own body, so precious and dear to him? With Kei squeezing down
on him tightly, Ushio found his own release.

Ushio downed a few gulps from the bottle and kissed Kei, feeding
him the drink, just as Kei tried to catch his breath.
“Nnnhhh… Nnh, nhh…!”

Ushio had taken it slowly, transferring a small amount at a time, but

Kei groaned low from the back of his throat and complained, “I’m
gonna drown.” But with that same mouth, he sought out Ushio’s lips
and sucked on his tongue, removing all traces of that slightly sweet
sports drink. The lukewarm temperature did nothing to cool down
their bodies.

Ushio licked the side of Kei’s neck, and it seemed saltier than usual
to him.

“Ahh…”

Kei’s nipples were hard and dangerously red, like they were tired
and sore from the summer, and Ushio nibbled lightly at them. Maybe
the heat was making it hard to breathe—Kei’s chest heaved up and
down in shallow breaths, sweat clinging to his skin, and Ushio
couldn’t help but to lap that up too.

“Nnh, noo…”

A little further down his body, Kei had spilled come all over himself,
and it dripped heavy and thick, soiling his stomach. Ushio licked it
clean like a dog—but maybe it was more accurate to say that he got
it ready to be dirtied again. Especially as Kei whimpered, “Noo,” with
his voice trembling.

“Ah, Ushio, ahh, noo…”

Kei had just come, but Ushio was determined to bring Kei’s cock
back to full arousal with his hands and his mouth. Ushio pressed his
weight on the hips that were writhing fretfully, and he forcefully
applied himself to his task until he overwrote the post-orgasmic
numbness with a brand-new desire.
“Noo, aaaah… I’m exhausted…”

“I know,” Ushio answered, stroking Kei’s cock as it caught the light—

shiny, obscene and smeared with all sorts of fluids. “But I want you.”

Ushio could feel blood rushing to fill the hardness swelling in his
hand, and it was as if his words aroused Kei more than any touch or
caress could offer. God, what was with this honest reaction from his
body? He was too cute. As Ushio pleasured Kei with his hand and
his mouth, he inserted a finger inside of him where he was filled to
the brim with Ushio’s come.

“Aaah…! Noo, don’t…”

“But you seem to want it still.”

His insides were a hot, sticky mess, and Ushio didn’t know how
much filthier Kei could get—he had already poured everything into
him, and yet Ushio watched him twitch for more, still yet to be
satisfied. As Ushio spread open the hole, making obscene sounds in
the process, salty pre-come from the tiny slit of Kei’s cock spilled
slow and thick into Ushio’s mouth. He sucked mischievously at it,
demanding that Kei spill even more, and a tiny interrupted rhythm,
shy and bashful, emerged.

“Ahhh, I can’t hold on anymore, I want to put it in.”

Kei was seducing him, all soft and writhing—this was okay, right?
Ushio pushed his cock against him so that it didn’t slip from the
sweat. The hole was flushed red with blood, filled and dripping with a
thick milky white, and it was a filthy and beautiful sight.

“Ahhh—”

Kei ripened further than before as Ushio penetrated him once again,
and Ushio was almost scared that he might melt and dissolve inside
of Kei’s body. It scared him, but that was what made it enthralling.
When they finished drinking from the 2-liter bottle, Ushio tossed it
away onto the floor. All that was left for them was to seek each other
out, tangling their sweat-soaked limbs like they had lost all coefficient
of friction. The sweat that Ushio licked off of Kei’s body re-emerged
from his skin, only to drip back down on to Kei again. The sheets
were soaked with wet, distorted shapes of their bodies.

“Ahh, aaah, aaahhh…”

“Kei.”

“Nnh, ahh, Ushio—”

More than any words that Ushio could tease out of Kei, a simple “I
love you” uttered in an intoxicated fervor was all it took to utterly and
completely annihilate him. And although it bothered him a little,
Ushio would never say a word about it.

Ushio took a fresh, clean shower, changed out all of the bedding,
and made his special dessert for the night. After everything, he was
more than happy to do this. He piled plenty of peaches around the
dish and topped it off with a dollop of yogurt.

“Ah—…”

Kei looked a little absent-minded as he took a bite of his dessert.

“See, doesn’t it taste better after working up a sweat?”

“I don’t want to put my life on the line just to eat shaved ice.”

Kei sulked and offered up a spoonful of shaved ice at Ushio. The

cold fruit and ice slid down past his throat, quenching the tiny fire
that was still burning inside him.

But it would never disappear.

Translation Notes

Period 5: Rb Sr Y Zr Nb Mo Tc Ru Rh Pd – The original Japanese

translates to A child toyed with a straw on the roadside. Pots in
hand, frenzied elderly found paradise. The beginning uses vague
enough words that it could give a dirtier meaning similar to A beauty
caressed a straw on the roadside.
Group 2: Be Mg Ca Sr Ba Ra – The original Japanese translates
to On the bed, a beautiful pink bloomed under the girl’s hitched up
dress.
Group 13: B Al Ga In Tl – The original Japanese translates to She
has a rack, and she’s smart too.
Group 15: N P As Sb Bi – The original Japanese translates to
Daily porn, on sale tomorrow.
Group 17: F Cl Br I At – The original Japanese translates to A soft
bra’s real nice on contact.
Group 16: O S Se Te Po – The original Japanese translates to A
youthful sex, shy, it pops.
Ecchi, which can also stand for H, can refer to sex or anything
erotic or lewd.
Ohayou Sanspo is Sankei Sports’s adult contents page. There are
typically articles, photos, columns, gossip, and reader submissions
about sex, celebrities, pin-up models, and other salacious topics.
You can think of it like a GQ/Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue/Gossip
Tabloid, but in the form of a daily newspaper. The impression is that
it is a trashy, soft-core porn section of the paper.
50,000 yen – Approx. $500 USD.
10,000 yen – Approx. $100 USD.
200,000 yen – Approx. $2,000 USD.
Affogato – An Italian dessert-type beverage with espresso and a
scoop of vanilla gelato.
 1,000 yen – Approx. $10 USD.
300,000 yen – Approx. $3,000 USD.
Chono refers to Masahiro “Masa” Chono, a retired professional
wrestler.
28°C – Approx. 82°F.
Pocari is a sports drink.

Story 6: Other Short Stories – Part 2

Translator Note: This part contains all of the ficlets written for Volume
2 of Yes, No, or Maybe Half?
Your Unknown World

Director A-ko-san’s Work Experience Story (under a pseudonym)

You know how they often say TV stations are haunted? But I’ve
never believed those rumors. I’ve worked in TV for nearly 10 years
and haven’t seen a thing. Maybe people were sleep deprived and
imagined that they saw something? I think it’s far scarier to have an
editing station break down on you and you lose all your data, or you
head out on an assignment and you realize that you accidentally
forgot to bring the tape.

But, hmm, I suppose now that I think about it… There was that one
thing…

It was completely out of the blue. Evening had come around and I
went to the staff room for the show that I work on. We chatted and
discussed the topics for the broadcast that night.

That was when that guy, you know, Minagawa Tatsuki, said
something really weird.
All of a sudden he just blurted out, “Good evening, Sou-chan.” And it
was to Asou-san. I was like, “Huh?” and it was like time stopped for a
split-second. It wasn’t just me, but everyone had that reaction. Like,
who was this Sou-chan he was referring to? I mean, from Minagawa-
kun’s standpoint, Asou-san is far above him in prestige and seniority,
and I’ve never heard anyone address Asou-san like that before. He
gives off this aura that makes it hard to get close to him, and he’s not
the type of person to be on the receiving end of people’s jokes.

At first I thought that maybe Minagawa-kun was forced to do

something as part of a punishment game, but he looked like he was
enjoying himself far too much for it to be that. I asked Kunieda-san if
he knew anything about it, thinking that maybe something had
happened at the announcer department, but he just said, “I’m not too
sure,” looking a little troubled. Minagawa-kun just said, “It’s a
secret~”

No, I would say that Asou-san didn’t look angry at all. He was normal
as usual. Maybe Minagawa-kun wanted to get some kind of reaction
out of him because he kept pestering him. Saying things like, “Sou-
chan, what did you do over the weekend?” or “Sou-chan, I hear
they’re having an eel special at the cafeteria.” He kept saying “Sou-
chan” every time too. Like he was checking to see if he was there.
Well, Asou-san pretty much ignored him, but when I walked by
behind him, I realized that it wasn’t quite the case.

I heard him mutter, “7,” under his breath.

I swear to god it’s true. It was a really low voice, but another staff
member heard it too. It was an “8” when he heard it. I realized that
he was counting the number of times Minagawa-kun had called him
“Sou-chan.” I was like, uh oh, he’s probably really angry, so I warned
Minagawa-kun about it. I told him to cut it out, but he was only more
amused by it. He even joked, “Maybe he’ll grant me any wish I want
when I get to 100!” …Uh, yes, he’s an idiot. Maybe ridiculous would
be a better way to describe him. It’s like he has the mentality of a 5th
grader. There was pretty much no stopping him at that point. Our
producer said, “He’ll stop when he gets bored with it,” so I pretty
much decided to leave it alone.

So things got busy from there, and then maybe one hour before the
broadcast, I think it was? Someone heard a “10.” Minagawa-kun
laughed that he finally reached the double digits, but then he
immediately went and said “Sou-chan” again, rambling about how
his wardrobe was hideous today—how his suit, shirt, and necktie
was pattern on pattern on pattern. That was when Asou-san started
counting again.

This time it was a “9.”

It was like, what, wasn’t it at “10” just now? But it wasn’t like I could
say it to his face. I was flustered and my heart was racing, but
Minagawa-kun kept on going, saying, “Sou-chan, want some tea?”

…Yeah, that was “8.” After that, I was sure about it. When I thought
that maybe it was a countdown to something, I got really scared.
Like goosebumps scared. Like maybe something might happen if the
count got to zero. And I don’t mean like a screaming match, more
like something-could-happen-to-the-Earth type of bad. Kinda like
how a butterfly could flap its wings in Beijing and somehow trigger a
hurricane somewhere in the world.

Some of the staff probably thought the same thing because people
surrounded Minagawa-kun half-crying at him to stop. Like please just
give us a break here, but Minagawa-kun didn’t look like he would
stop any time soon. But eventually he did, when the count hit “3.”
Thank goodness.

In the end, I never found out what all that “Sou-chan” stuff was
about. I never asked, and I don’t want to know. There are some
things in the world that you’re better off not knowing.
(First published in a blog post celebrating the release of Dear Plus
Bunko’s “Center of the World” in June 2015.)
Stop the World

Long after the sun had set and the moon hung high in the night sky,
Kei had lost all his willpower to complain about going back to work
and instead decided to quietly give up on his fruitless protests.

Dammit, I need to get to sleep.

But if he went to bed, tomorrow would come, and at noon he would

have to put on his suit and become Kunieda-san… It was such a
pain in the ass. It was a pain in the ass, but if he suddenly had to go
to the emergency room for his appendix or something, he would
probably involuntarily grumble to himself, Dammit, why couldn’t this
come during vacation!? And that was why Ushio told him that he
loved his job. Even though he really didn’t. However, if Kei had to
clearly define his feelings towards his job into words, it would be
difficult for him. The first thing that came to his mind was that he
needed to eat, of course.

There were no evening papers published on Sundays; there were

very few news shows on at night; and this strange bit of spare time
was slowly ticking away, and it irritated him even more. He lazed
around on the bed checking the Internet news on his cell phone.
Since it was the last day of his vacation, he thought that he might as
well just fall asleep without doing anything special…but then Ushio
came upstairs from the studio.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize it was 11 already. I totally forgot about dinner.”

“I’m so hungry I don’t care anymore.”

“You could have said something.”

Whenever there was no sound coming from the first floor, Kei
imagined Ushio sitting in front of his computer, his concentration
plastered all over the monitor. At the very least, Kei knew this very
well. Honestly speaking, it really, really bothered him that Ushio’s life
immediately went on as usual, showing zero reluctance at spending
their time apart from each other, but Ushio had been preoccupied
with Kei these past few days that Kei thought that he might not have
gotten as much work done as he needed, and Kei couldn’t bring
himself to interrupt him.

“All right, I’ll get to making our last supper.”

“Don’t make this bluer than it already is.”

“I’m pretty hungry too, so I’ll do something fast and easy.”

From the kitchen, Kei heard the sound of plastic wrappers for instant
ramen tearing open. Kei loved instant ramen, and so he was
perfectly fine with it. After about a 10-minute wait, Ushio brought
over a clay cooking pot to the table. It was completely out of season,
but when he uncovered the lid, he found two eggs cracked on top of
the Sapporo Ichiban noodles (salt-flavored), and they looked
perfectly steamed, all bright white and yellow. There were chopped
green onions scattered around the pot and to top it all off was freshly
ground black pepper.

Oh man, this is gonna be so good.

“Butter, butter, butter.”

“Hold on, I’ve already melted some and added it in. Geez, you really
like grease and fat.”

If it wasn’t enough Kei had planned to add more, but it was perfect
the way it was. They used chopsticks to pull up long strands of
noodles stuck with bits of egg from the steaming clay pot. Ushio had
mentioned it before, but it felt like they had spent ten years worth of
nights like this together—far longer than they actually had, and it
baffled Kei.
After Ushio finished cleaning up, he pulled two chairs over in front of
the bed and said to Kei, “Sit.”

“I’m going to brush my teeth and sleep.”

“It’ll be quick.”

Kei wondered what Ushio wanted as he sat down like Ushio had
asked, and for some reason Ushio’s smartphone was on the bed
connected to a similar-sized device with a cable.

“I’m turning off the lights,” Ushio warned before flipping the switch,
but the room didn’t turn completely dark.

On the wall at the back of the bed, there was a pillow-sized

projection of a screen. Apparently the smartphone was hooked up to
a mini-sized projector.

A time code counted down 3, 2, 1, and a deep blue-tinged darkness

appeared. Then there was a red dot. Then surrounding the dot was a
ring of colorful red, yellow, and orange dots. Then came another ring,
and another ring around it. The embroidery spread larger and larger,
and new ones bloomed in different areas of the screen.

“It’s the director’s cut,” Ushio said sitting next to him.

“Yeah.”

There was all this activity on the screen, but somehow it was a soft
and quiet fireworks show. He had liked it when the commercial
played on TV (well, Kunieda-san did), but he liked this version far
better. It was understandable that he hadn’t realized that this was
Ushio’s work when he saw the finished commercial with a part of his
memory missing.

“The TV version’s kinda busy and jumbled.”

“You think so?”

“The other CG are in the way, and the sound effects, music, and
voice-overs are distracting.”

“Well, it is for a clearance sale. It’s more important to appeal to

people’s ears than their eyes when it comes to commercials.”

“Doesn’t it make you mad?”

Seeing the version without all of the added effects, Kei now felt like
the pop-like font, the tag lines, the model with the high-pitched voice,
everything, pretty much ruined what Ushio had originally made.

“Well, they only commissioned me for materials for a commercial. If

they had asked me to direct the total package, I might have had
more of a say in it, but in the end, the purpose of a commercial isn’t
to air my work.” Ushio smiled wryly at Kei’s frown and wrapped an
arm around him to pull his head over. “It would be a lie to say that I
don’t regret anything about it, but this line of work pays far better
than anything else. But even with all the freedom that clients may
give me, if I’m not careful, I might end up digging my own grave in
this business… Anyway, work is hard. I’m just trying to make a
living.”

It was unusual for Ushio to open up for topics like this.

“But I think I’m happy enough having you watch my work like this.”

“Idiot, it’s not work if you’re only showing it to a single person.”

“I guess that’s true. How about we play it at the Kunieda Kei

museum?”

“…Sure.”
Kei leaned himself completely into Ushio’s shoulder. Their own little
fireworks show bloomed one after the other on the tiny screen on
repeat. Kei prayed, wishing that morning would never come. Not
because he was running from something, but because he wished to
be locked up in this moment forever.

Someone with god-like powers, are you listening?

(First published as a gift-with-purchase bonus paper for Dear Plus

Bunko’s “Center of the World” in June 2015.)
Change the World

The party was in full swing; Ushio was full from dinner, and all that
he wanted to do was to drink as much as he wanted as he talked to
people all night long until he fell asleep. It was in the midst of this
merrymaking away from home when he received a message on his
cell phone.

“Hey, how’s it going? Enjoying the hot springs? Which do you like
more: lucky pervert scenarios or murder mysteries?”1

They were only letters on a screen, but Ushio’s brain automatically

translated the message with sound.

Now that’s a talent. Not mine, but his.

“How did you know?”

Ushio quickly sent off his reply with a beer in one hand, and almost
immediately his screen filled with additional dialog balloons.

“Because I can see everything and anything~ Anyway, I had a little

request, and after a bit of sleuthing around, that was how I found
out.”

“A request?”
“My paisen2 asked me to investigate whether you were on a trip with
people from Persons. Kunieda-san said not to tell you, so I’m gonna
take it to mean that he actually wants me to tell you.”

Did he really?

Ushio frowned at the cheers from the UNO game.

“And so?”

“I didn’t ask him what he was going to do with the information.

Paisen’s on vacation now, so he just might come over. This is the
last night you can have any orgies.”

Don’t even joke about it.

Ushio lightly shook his head, found that he wasn’t very drunk, and
got up. As he tried to slip away from the party, Kizaki caught up after
him.

“Tsuzuki-san, do you plan on heading to the baths?”

“Yeah, just for a bit.”

“You’ve had a bit to drink, so please be careful.”

“Thanks, I will.”

Ushio was impressed at how sharp Kizaki’s eyes were. Kizaki hadn’t
used his status as a presenter to pull rank between him and the staff,
and even though Ushio knew that Kizaki was the source of Kei’s
stress, he didn’t hate the guy. Ushio was sure that Kei wouldn’t want
him to change his feelings on his account either.

At any rate, Ushio knew that if Kei really became serious, he would
never lose to anyone. His gears were just a little misaligned right
now.
Out of the number of open-air baths at the inn, Ushio chose one that
was the smallest and little further away from the building and found
that there was no one using it. He rinsed off before getting in and
submerged his body into the hot water.

Would he come? No way, he wouldn’t.

They had left on complicated and awkward circumstances, and with

Kei’s anxiety, he would never come all this way. Ushio decided to go
see Kei once he got back to Tokyo. It didn’t cross Ushio’s mind that it
would be giving in or losing to do so.

But if Kei were to come, how exciting would that be? Would he come
as Kunieda-san or as Kei? What face would he make and what
would he say?

Ahh, I’m not the slightest bit mad at him.

There was still the urge to get a word in—to tell him to stop flying off
the handle after stewing in his thoughts by himself, but that didn’t
matter anymore.

As long as you come to see me, that’s more than enough.

The stars twinkled brightly as steam rose up against the distant night
sky. Would Kei be watching this same sky tomorrow? Ushio looked
up at the view and hummed quietly to himself.

If I could reach the stars, I’d pull one down for you…or so the lyrics
went.3

(First published in a blog post celebrating additional printings of Dear

Plus Bunko’s “Center of the World” in June 2015.)

Translation Notes
 Lucky pervert scenarios and murder mysteries are common tropes
found in stories with a hot spring setting.
Paisen is senpai flipped around. It’s a playful/flippant way to
address a senpai.
The lyrics and the title of this short story refer to Eric Clapton’s
Change the World.

Story 6: Other Short Stories – Part 3

Translator Note: This part contains ficlets that can be read any time
after Volume 1 of Yes, No, or Maybe Half?
A Special Tasting

The announcer department was unveiling a re-design of their site,

and so they had asked everyone to update their profile information. If
it only contained information like hometown and blood type, it
wouldn’t be a big deal, but things like Personal Heroes and Personal
Motto were a pain in the ass. And since the information would be
public, of course he would self-produce the contents through the lens
of I’m someone who considers these types of people my heroes or
I’m someone who carries these kinds of words in my heart. At any
rate, Kei would always put down his parents for his personal heroes.
It wasn’t a complete lie, and it was a much smarter choice than
putting some warlord from the Sengoku Era or some famous figure
from the end of the Edo period. What did anyone know about Oda
Nobunaga or Takeda Shingen anyway?

It was the personal motto that was giving Kei the most trouble. A
personal motto, hmmm…
“That should be easy. Just put down something like ‘Do a good deed
each day.’”

“What am I, a grade schooler? …‘Everything delicious is made of

sugar and fat.’”

“That sounds more like a tagline.”

“Kuneida Kei, AKA the man who can do anything.”

“Did you just steal that from Hajime no Ippo? …Kuneida Kei, also
known as the model little idiot.”

“Oi.”

“Kunieda Kei, also known as the lying announcer who lies.”

“Oi.”

“Kunieda Kei, also known as the one with junky tastebuds.”

“You’re just insulting me now!”

“Kunieda Kei, AKA actual product may vary as shown. Kunieda Kei,
AKA a dramatization made for TV. Kunieda Kei, AKA an unfortunate
sight witnessed on the show for which we deeply apologize.”

“Oi.”

“Kunieda Kei, AKA partaken deliciously by the staff.”

“Who the hell’s the staff!?”

“Me.”

Kunieda Kei, AKA let’s take this into the bedroom.

(First published in a blog post celebrating additional printings of Dear
Plus Bunko’s “Yes, No, or Maybe Half?” in July 2015.)
VOICELESS

It started out of the blue.

“All right, I’ll take the fourth story from the flash news on the set
and…hic!”

Well, of course it was out of the blue. They were hiccups after all.
The entire table fell silent at Kei’s little trip in his voice, and then
Tatsuki suddenly shouted, “Kunieda-san, what color are eggplants?”

What the hell is he saying?

“Umm…purple…hic!”

“Aww, that didn’t work.”

“What are you even doing?” someone interjected.

“Huh, isn’t it something you do? It’s supposed to help with the
hiccups.”

“It’s probably fake.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of it before. But I thought it was ‘What is tofu made
of?’ and ‘Soybeans.’”

“I’ve never heard of it. Aren’t you supposed to hold your breath to get
rid of them?”

“There’s drinking water from the far end of a cup.”

“Or doing a somersault and finishing with a fist pump.”

Shut up, you worthless nincompoops.

Kei lightly raised a hand. “I apologize for the commotion. I will be
fine. It should stop on its own.”

“But the show’s starting in 5 minutes…”

“I will be fine…hic!”

The faces of the entire staff clouded over, but Kei repeated, “I will be
fine.”

“Well, sometimes it’s funny to hear the news with the hiccups.
People are human after all,” Shitara said laughing.

Kei wondered if Shitara really believed his I’ll be fine. Asou kept
reading through his newspaper and didn’t say a word.

“All right! Let’s spend the remaining 5 minutes doing everything we

can to scare Kunieda-san!”

Hey, the idiot getting all worked up over there. Scram.

The broadcast was fine, just like Kei had declared. Of course it was
fine, there was no other way it could be.

I’m an announcer blessed by God himself, there’s no way I’d hiccup

on camera.

It didn’t even cross his mind that he might hiccup during the
commercials. That was how confident he was.

“…Hic!”
However, the moment the broadcast ended, they came back with a
vengeance and this time they wouldn’t stop. The human body
worked in mysterious ways.

“What, you have the hiccups?”

“I don’t need eggplants or tofu, okay? …Hic.”

“Huh? Hmm, stick your tongue out for me.”

Kei did as he was told, and Ushio grabbed his tongue with fingers
tucked under the cuff of his sleeve.

“Ngahh!”

“How is it?”

“Ow, you bastard! That…hic!”

“Hmm, that didn’t work. How about this?”

This time he stuck his fingers into Kei’s ears.

“Oi!”

Be quiet, Ushio mouthed with large exaggerated motions.

Uh, if you spoke normally, I’d still be able to hear you.

Kei wasn’t too sure about this, but it seemed like another cure for the
hiccups. He quieted down, and from the inside of his ears still
currently plugged up, he could hear the sound of rumbling. Was it the
sound of his blood flowing? Ushio’s face was just a short distance
away from his own.

Ushio slowly moved his lips.

Id.

I.

Ot.

Oi. Kei furled his brow in irritation, and Ushio smiled back in
amusement.

I.

Love.

You.

The rumbling in his body grew a little louder.

Ugh, don’t fall for it, don’t fall for it.

Kei mustered all of his willpower to look expressionless. Something

that said, So what? He wasn’t sure if he had succeeded, because
Ushio only grew more and more amused. Then he opened his mouth
again to form a “You.”

Are.

My.

Wor.

Ld.

My.

Eve.

Ry.
Kei’s ears were thundering inside.

“Huh…?”

Suddenly his ears were unplugged, and Kei felt air rushing past his
ears.

“Great, looks like it stopped.”

“Huh?”

“If you plug your ears for a while, it’ll go away.”

“…Heh…”

“Good for you, good for you~” Ushio patted Kei on the head. Kei
wasn’t sure if it was plugging his ears did it or if it was him holding
his breath at the words being mouthed, but at any rate, his hiccups
were gone.

But now his heart was racing non-stop instead. Damn bastard.1

(First published in a blog post celebrating additional printings of Dear

Plus Bunko’s “Yes, No, or Maybe Half?” & “Center of the World” in
February 2016.)
JUST LIKE a Chocolate

It was February 14th, and Ushio expected his very popular boyfriend
to bring home a mountain of chocolate like he’d seen in a number of
manga, but there was only a small paper gift bag hanging from Kei’s
hand.

“So your popularity’s all a sham…”

“It’s not, dammit!!”

According to Kei, it was the network’s policy to dispose of gifts sent
in to their announcers (apparently a number of years ago, there was
an incident with a contaminated item), and it was Kei’s personal
policy to open all gifts received at work on the spot. It allowed him to
say, Oh, this looks delicious. It would be too much of a shame to
have this all to myself—let’s share this with everyone. It would
discourage others from doing the same thing; he wouldn’t have
separate out all the trash to dispose of it at home; and most
importantly, all the chocolates given to Announcer Kunieda were
gourmet-quality ones, but Kei didn’t particularly like them.

Bonbons and truffles and pralines were all no, thank yous. And Kei
didn’t care about some rock-star chocolatier who came from Paris or
New York—weren’t they just touring around the world doing business
anyway? Kei liked the domestically made chocolate that could be
found in any supermarket or convenience store—nothing extra
inside, nothing extra on top, no gimmicks, no frills, just plain
chocolate. Anyway, opening the chocolates on the spot meant he
only had to sample a single piece, and on White Day, he could get
away with bringing something for everyone to help themselves to as
a group rather than buying something for each person individually.

“Then what’s this?”

“I got caught in the elevator going home and had no other choice.”

Kei looked annoyed at it, but inside was an assortment of thin

squares of chocolate, almost like tiles. It was a small amount that
could be finished quickly, and it could be called a fairly considerate
gift. It was from a popular maker that could be found in any
department store—not too fanatical where he would have to worry
about some woman’s obsession over him.

“You can have the dark chocolate ones. They’re bitter tasting.”

“Yes, yes, you precious little child~”

“I can eat bitter foods, okay? But bitter-tasting chocolate doesn’t
make any sense! Same thing goes for sweet curry!”

“I know, I know.”

When Ushio turned on the TV, a special feature on the chocolate

brand just happened to be on. As he bit on a square of chocolate
(apparently they were called carrés) and watched, the show played a
short animation introducing the inspiration for the name.

“In 11th century England, there was a kind noblewoman married to

an earl. She could no longer watch as the people suffered under
oppressive taxes and appealed to her husband to reduce them. Her
husband said that he would grant her request if she rode naked on a
horse through the streets of the town. And so the noblewoman did;
she got up on a horse without a stitch of clothing on her and
marched through the town. The townspeople stayed indoors that day
with their doors and windows closed so not to dishonor the kind and
benevolent noblewoman…”

“Naked on a horse? Wouldn’t that be kinda painful?” Ushio

commented, but he figured it was just a fairy tale. However, the
conclusion Kei drew from the story, all cool and composed, was
“Wasn’t it just some kind of kinky play?”

“Huh?”

“Well, the conditions are strange, you know? The guy probably had a
voyeurism kink for putting his wife on display. Like seriously, you’re
gonna shut the windows? Obviously, everyone’s going, ‘How ya not
gonna look!?’ from behind closed doors.”

“Why the Kansai accent?”

“Just because.”

“I see, I gotta give it up to someone who loves their kinks. It’s a deep
and dark cave down there.”

“I don’t love any of it!!”

The next day, Kei appeared on the evening news. He wasn’t in the
studio; it was pre-recorded clip of an experience he was trying for the
viewers.

“Yoga has recently gained popularity with men, and today I’ll be
visiting a yoga studio in the area. …Good afternoon, I look forward to
the class.”

“Of course! Shall we begin?”

Apparently, it was a fairly tough regimen they were showcasing, and

after playing a few snippets of the class progressing, the screen cut
to the words One hour later… with a shot of Announcer Kunieda
covered in sweat.

“Oh, yes, this was quite the workout…”

His bangs were wet and stuck to his forehead, and his T-shirt clung
to his skin with enough moisture he could probably wring it out. He
crouched down on a mat, wiping his face, cheeks deeply flushed,
desperately trying to catch his breath.

What was this slightly familiar feeling that was coming over him? The
directionality wasn’t the same, but there was the feeling that Ushio
shouldn’t be watching Kei at work like this. And Ushio wasn’t happy
about it at all.

Yeah, I don’t understand this kink. I just don’t like it. Ahhh—

When he gets home, I’m going to eat him up like chocolate.

(First published as a free paper for J. Garden in March 2016)

Translation Notes

FYI, Ushio mouths suki first and never finishes the aishiteru. This
is the second time in the series that he ever uses aishiteru. The first
time was when he said it flippantly to try to convince Kei to go
through with penetrative sex. IIRC, there’s maybe one additional
instance that can be found in an extra or doujinshi. There is also an
Aishiteru game, where one person has to try not to get embarrassed
while another person says Ashiteru to them. Additional FYI, I
translate suki as I like you, I’m in love with you, or I love you,
depending on the relationship status and the emotional depth of the
scene because I prefer a more liberal translation that resonates
emotionally.

Story 6: Other Short Stories – Part 4

Translator Note: This part contains ficlets that take place after
Volume 3 of Yes, No, or Maybe Half?
A Light at Home

Even now Kei wasn’t sure if what he saw was only a dream. But
whatever, he didn’t care either way.
There was a doorless entryway that connected Kei’s and Ushio’s
rooms, and a hanging roller shade was pulled down between them,
faintly illuminated from the other side.

Kei unexpectedly woke up, noticed the light, and shook Ushio awake
who was sleeping next to him.

“Hey, you left the lights on in your room.”

“Huh…?” Ushio squinted his eyes. “But I turned them off.”

“They’re on right now.”

“Seriously…? I wonder why. Shut them off for me.”

“Do it yourself.”

“Kunieda-san demanded too much from me earlier and I’m too tired
to move.”

“That’s what I want to say about you, dammit!!”

Normally Ushio never struggled to get up, but somehow tonight he

was apparently bone-tired. No matter how Kei called out or shook
him after that, his eyelids never even twitched. It didn’t seem like he
was faking it, so Kei reluctantly got up himself. Ushio was footing the
electric bill for that side of the apartment, and leaving the lights on for
a night wasn’t a big deal, but for some reason, the lights next door
strangely bothered Kei that night.

Kei walked across the wooden floors, pulled the cord to roll up the
shade, and what he saw in front of him was Ushio’s room, but not.

The kitchen didn’t have the extra counter space. He had never seen
the wallpaper, the hanging lamp shade, or the dining set before. And
there were people sitting there in the room—three of them.
Kei was, of course, surprised as he stood there holding onto the cord
for the shade, but he wasn’t scared or panicked. It was more of a
Huh? Is this 1) a dream (2:1 odds), 2) a hallucination (10:1 odds) or
3) a supernatural phenomenon (100:1 odds)? …At least that was
what he had the presence of mind to think.

The scene before him could have been real or unreal—it was like
watching moving drawings inside a diorama or a puppet show in the
middle of a garden. For some reason, the only thing he could clearly
ascertain was that he couldn’t interfere and that he was only an
observer.

There were two men and a woman. They were probably in their 20s.

One of the men looked a lot like Ushio, and the other one looked like
the man called Saijou. The woman had a few traces that reminded
Kei of Ushio’s grandmother. It looked like they were enjoying some
drinks at home with bottles of beer and tumblers on the table and a
number of small plates of food. Chopsticks moved; the beer poured
freely, and the three chatted away into the night—but there was no
sound coming from them, almost like a silent movie.

What the heck is this? Kei wondered. They had to be Ushio’s

parents and that secretary of theirs (in the future), right? If they
showed up as ghosts or spirits, they should be haunting their son
instead. Did they make a mistake somewhere…? But, then again,
two of the three were still alive.

Kei wondered what would happen if he just barged into the room, but
he hesitated because the three of them looked like they were having
so much fun together. Ushio’s parents (or the couple that appeared
to be them) sat on one side of the table next to each other, flirting
rather blatantly for a married couple. They touched either other’s
shoulders, their hair, laced their fingers together—their display of
affection seemed almost a little Western-like, but Saijou (it seemed
to be him) sat across from them and didn’t appear to mind. And
strangely enough, the atmosphere didn’t seem like it was two versus
one. It just looked like a quiet, good time at home.

If an image could burn itself onto photographic paper in an instant,

then maybe afterimages of the past could lurk behind in their homes.
Maybe when the cosmic channels of the seasons, days, time, and
weather somehow miraculously lined up, it could play the images
back like a rare astronomical phenomenon.

Kei wanted to show the images in front of him to Ushio, but if he

stirred or even uttered a word—anything to disturb this precious
equilibrium—he felt as though it would vanish before his eyes. That
was why he could only stand there stockstill, but then unexpectedly,
the profile of the woman’s face turned directly at Kei.

She was looking at Kei. No, she wasn’t—her gaze was far lower.
She was looking at an additional person in the room who was in
existence there that night. And she smiled.

“Ushio?”

Kei suddenly heard her voice as if the switch to a mic flipped on. The
voice was soft and sweet, like flowers.

“I’m sorry, did we wake you? What’s wrong? Do you need to go

potty?”

Kei unconsciously release the cord, and the shade, which hadn’t
raised all the way up, came falling back down.

It turned suddenly dark behind the shade.

Kei raised the shade again, but he only saw Ushio’s room,
unchanged, with no one around. Maybe this was what that phrase, to
be bewitched by a fox, meant—he could hardly trust his senses. Kei
shook his head softly, headed to the kitchen to drink a glass of ice
water, and then went back to the bed. Kei climbed over Ushio who
was still sound asleep and settled down on the side next to the wall.
He reached out to run his fingers over their handprints.

When they woke up in the morning, would Kei tell Ushio about what
he had seen? Probably not. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Ushio
wouldn’t believe him; it was that he himself might think that it was all
a lie once he put the experience into words—that it would crumble
and disappear like a house made of sand if he trespassed on it. A
fleeting vision of happiness that flickered like the flame of a match.

Maybe if Kei had a job like Ushio’s, he would want to create

something that preserved what he had seen. Whether he used clay,
carvings, or drawings—he remembered best the faint glow of light
from behind the shade screen, the scene of a dinner table, and the
sudden flash of that woman’s smile. He would want to search for a
method to retain that warmth and intimacy somewhere. But he
couldn’t, and so he simply tucked it away safely deep inside his
heart.

Even when Kei pressed his chilled lips against Ushio’s, Kei could
hear how Ushio’s soft and easy breathing remained unchanged.

(First published in a blog post celebrating the release of Dear Plus

Bunko’s “Where Home Is” in June 2016.)
Country Road1

When Ushio went to visit his grandmother, he saw that she still had
the sacred bamboo that he had given her last month. They were
hung up on the kitchen wall, tied together with twine. The glossy,
bright red berries were now a dull, subdued crimson.

“I hung them up, and they dehydrated to become lovely dried

flowers,” his grandmother said.

“Hmmm.”
“The bright red is beautiful, but this calmer color is easier on the
eyes. It’s quite soothing.”

“Oh, but I brought over strawberries.”

“Then we should eat them while they’re bright red.”

“I’ll go get them ready.”

Ushio washed the strawberries and removed the stems and leaves.
When he set them down in a glass bowl on the table, his
grandmother brought up a name that he was planning to speak to
her about.

“Kunieda-san visited me the other day.”

“Yeah, so I heard.”

“That can’t be all you have to say,” his grandmother protested as she
speared a red fruit on a thin-handled dessert fork. “You should have
told me that you two were friends.”

“Nh—…”

But we aren’t friends… Ushio thought, but he decided to apologize

instead of arguing.

“Sorry. Since he appears on TV and all, I wanted to respect his

privacy.”

“Yes, I understand that… well, it’s all right…”

“You don’t think it’s all right in the least.” Ushio smiled wryly.

“That’s because I’m not satisfied with the explanation. When I

commented that you were closed-off and distant, Kunieda-san
nodded and agreed with me.”
Ushio had never intended to put walls around himself—back then or
now. He simply didn’t know how to depend on other people.
Fundamentally, he liked to do things himself, and he didn’t want to
talk about things that he couldn’t change—there was no use in
bringing it up. But when he was bound with no choices left and Kei
had saved him, he felt like he was finally released from something
that had haunted him. Rather than feeling bad or pathetic, he only
felt a great happiness.

“I heard that you returned to the house?”

“Yeah.”

“I see.”

His grandmother didn’t ask anything further. The tiny seeds from the
strawberry crushed between his teeth. But those “seeds,” and not
the red part, were the actual fruit with a seed inside. Just as he now
realized that he had tried to live his life as a proper, functioning adult,
but it was the people around him who allowed him to be closed-off
so that he could get to where he was.

“In the end, I think I’m glad that I went.”

“Really?”

“I had a reversal of misfortune.”

“But according to your theory, wouldn’t you have other misfortunes?”

“That’s true.”

“Oh, what happened?”

“Just that I suddenly have to move, and I need to find a new place to
live.”
“What kind of place are you thinking about?”

“Well, anything if it keeps out the wind and rain.”

“Child, why are you saying things like you’re a beggar on the street?”

His grandmother was exasperated at him, but if he started listing

everything he wanted, it would be endless, and in the end, he could
only conclude, That house had everything, bringing himself back
where he started—which then angered him and it wasn’t good for his
mental health. If he was going to find someplace new, it was
important to start over from scratch, but he had to decide on a few
basic requirements otherwise the realtor would have no idea what to
show him.

“Grandma, have some more strawberries.”

“I’ve had enough. At this age, I’m satisfied with just 2 or 3 pieces. …I
know, let’s turn the rest into jam for you to take with you.”

“Won’t that take time?”

“Only if it simmers in a slow cooker. But I can make it in the

microwave.”

Ushio’s grandmother headed into the kitchen. She placed a canning

jar in a pot filled with water and heated the pot. Then she roughly
crushed the strawberries in a bowl, added granulated sugar and
lemon juice, and placed the bowl into the microwave.

“Now we just wait a little… Hmm, I remember that Hana used to hate
strawberry jam,” his grandmother said in a low voice.

“Did she really?”

“When she entered elementary school, she had it in her school lunch
for the first time, and it seemed completely foreign to her. She said
that it didn’t look like a strawberry and it didn’t taste the same either.”

“I see, just like how strawberry-flavored and the flavor of strawberries

are different.”

“But when I showed her how to make strawberry jam at home, she
finally understood, and she could eat it after that.”

“That’s funny.”

“It was the same for coffee too. Once she saw the process of
harvesting the beans, then roasting them, she seemed to be okay
with the bitterness afterward.”

“She was so strange…”

“It seemed that Homare-san had found her amusing, and that was
what he liked about her.”

“…Hmmm.”

The faint light from the microwave window reminded Ushio of a

house. It was about 10 minutes when the jam was done, reduced
down to about half the amount in the bowl. Its sweet scent filled the
room.

“Can you fill the jar with the jam while it’s hot? Since it’s homemade,
try to finish it as soon as possible.”

“Okay, okay.”

“Oh, when you mentioned moving, are you really okay with pretty
much any place?”
“Yeah. Well, maybe not Brazil or somewhere. I won’t be able to visit
you from there.”

He wondered what his grandmother was looking for as she pulled

open a chest drawer, and then she smiled at him with a sparkle in
her eye.

“Ushio, why don’t you try asking me for something nicely once in a
while as your grandmother?”

Seriously?

Ushio walked as he fiddled with the set of keys in his hand. They
seemed to grow heavier as he held them. He had lived in this area
when he was just a toddler (or so he had heard), but of course,
nothing looked familiar. His grandmother had foisted the keys on
him, telling him to take a look and think about it, and so now he was
here. He appreciated that it was a free place to live, but was it really
okay? On the other hand, would it even be an inconvenience to
anyone?

The only thing that Ushio knew for certain was that he couldn’t make
up his mind about it, but he wasn’t bothered by the hesitation that he
felt.

The jar of strawberry jam in his messenger bag was still warm.
Tomorrow was Saturday, and he could have breakfast with Kei at his
apartment. He could buy a fresh loaf of bread from the bakery, cut it
into thick slices for toast, and slather it generously with butter and
strawberry jam. He could fry up some bacon and eggs to go with the
toast and make coffee for them.

Somehow, just by thinking this, Ushio mustered up some courage.

After taking the next corner, a candidate for his new home would be
waiting for him.

(First published as a gift-with-purchase bonus paper for Dear Plus

Bunko’s “Where Home Is” in June 2016.)
All Fiction

(Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The situations and events

described in this work have no relation to actual persons or
organizations.)

1) Please stand by

“Hey, isn’t it about time that NHK fee collectors start making their
rounds?”2 Ushio said in a low voice as he watched public
programming over at Kei’s side of the apartment. “They might think
that I flew the coop in a pretty crazy fashion without paying.”

“Why didn’t you put it on auto-payment?”

“Because I work from home. I thought it’d be better to force myself to

see people and go outside to do errands. I still pay my energy bill at
the convenience stores…but maybe I should switch everything to
auto-payments.”

Kei could sense the unspoken meaning in his words: because Ushio
would see Kei every day from now on—and it made him a little
embarrassed.

“By the way, Kunieda-san, what do you do about your payments?”

“Everything’s on auto-payments, of course.”

“Sorry, what I meant was: do you pay the NHK?”

“Of course I damn well pay them!!”

How rude.

“Oh, really? I wasn’t thinking about the actual amount of money, but
more a philosophical reason maybe? You seem like you might not
pay them out of a grudge or something.”

A grudge? Well, Kei admitted that whenever he encountered their

crews on location for a story, the number of people on their team
was a huge difference from the commercial networks and it was
deeply attractive that they could have such sizeable budgets all
funded by everyone’s license fees. However, Kei didn’t particularly
care to be an announcer on NHK. They wrote out full scripts
beforehand for their reporters to read on camera. For a report. On a
scroll even. One of the paper ones that made him want to write We
won the lawsuit!! on it.3 Wasn’t it a reporter’s job to report on the
current conditions of the scene as they experienced it? To speak
freely about what they saw and heard within what was permitted on
air? It seemed like a really strict place to work.

…That was what he thought, but he didn’t care enough to grumble

about anything he resented about them. But there was one thing.

“…I owe the NHK a debt of gratitude from time to time.”

“Huh?”

Ushio suddenly got to his feet. Just as Kei wondered if he went to

the bathroom, Ushio returned with a cotton swab in his hand. He
swabbed both ears before making a serious expression and said,
“Sorry, can you say that again?”

“Is it really something to be that shocked over!?”

“You said a debt of gratitude… I can’t imagine hearing those words

coming out of your mouth… What kind of meat did they treat you to
in order to make you say that about them?”
“It’s not about food!”

“—It is a brilliant achievement by AlphaGo, the AI-based Go program

developed by a subsidiary company of America’s Google Inc…
Excuse me.”

“Hmm? Is there a mistake somewhere?”

“No, not at all. I am wondering if there is a correct pronunciation for

“AlphaGo.”

“Ohh…”

“AlphaGo.”

“AlphaGo.”

“AlphaGo.”

“…Hmm, yeah, it could sound like ‘Alpha Go!’ if you’re not careful.”

“The standard for a proper noun appearing in the news for the first
time is to use a flat intonation.”

“Hmm, so like, AlphaGo… Hmm, I don’t know. It’s an English name

in the first place, right? Maybe there’s no right way to say it.”

That was when Shitara happened to pass by and said, “Why don’t
you watch NHK News at 9 and check there?”

Okay, problem solved.

“—We have breaking news to report. Police have apprehended a
male suspect in the Tokyo metro area who they believe to have fired
gunshots at a convenience store worker in Gunma Prefecture and
fled with over 60,000 yen4 worth of cash.”

“The man does not appear to have associations with organized

crime, but we are still awaiting the explanation for how he had
obtained the gun. That’s it for our show, we will see you again
tomorrow night.”

They were able to wrap up the show with a last-minute breaking

news item at the end. Kei had expected a chorus of people
celebrating Good work tonight!, but instead, a nervous atmosphere
pervaded the studio.

“Is there anything wrong?” Kei asked a nearby director.

The director returned an uneasy half smile and answered, “We’re still
the only ones who have broken on that story just now.”

“What?”

“No one else has followed after us to report it.”

“But it’s only been a short while since we broke it.”

“Well, if we’re really the first ones to break the story, that’d be great,
but I wonder if our liaison to the Metropolitan Police Department is
really that good. …They’re having him check it again just in case.”

If they had messed up, it would be a false report. Thank god, the
show was already over. But then again, would he have to issue an
apology on tomorrow’s show?

Tch, what a pain in the ass. Don’t make me have to apologize on

behalf of your mistakes.
Kei stopped by the news floor to see how the situation was going,
and it seemed as if everyone had their eyes glued to the television
monitors, praying with their faces looking serious and grim.

“Come on, please!! I don’t care who it is, but someone please follow
up!!”

Will this network really be okay?

“Hey! NHK is reporting breaking news!”

“A suspect arrested in the Tokyo metro area… Thank god, it

matches…”

“If NHK is saying it, then it has to be right…”

“All right! Let’s thank NHK all day today!”

“Thanks, NHK! You’re the best!”

“Thanks, NHK! Confidentially speaking, I always use you to cheat on

the traffic reports.”

“Thanks, NHK! I promise to stop getting so jealous about the fancy

lunch boxes that you order for your crews.”

All day today? There’s only one hour left until the day ends though.

“…That’s what I meant by debt of gratitude.”

“…Ohhh, okay. I’ll just say that you have it pretty rough.”
2) It was an unfortunate sight witnessed on the show for which we
deeply apologize.

“…We have reports on the summer campaign conditions for the

House of Councillors elections. Announcer Minagawa is standing by
at Candidate Takita’s campaign office, where it was just announced
that he had lost the fierce battle for Tokyo 3rd District. Minagawa-
san, please tell us what the conditions are like.”

“Sure, I am at the campaign office of Candidate Takita from the True

Progressive Party. As you can see, there are only a few supporters
here as most have already left the office. Let’s see, I would describe
the mood here as a birthday party where only a few guests have
shown despite dispatching plenty of invitations.”

(*According to follow-up conversations with Minagawa Tatsuki, he

thought that it might be imprudent to compare the office conditions to
a wake.)

“…Is Candidate Takita currently present at the office?”

“Yes. Candidate Takita, please join me in front of the camera. You

must be exhausted from your hard work on the campaign.”

“Yes…”

“You were defeated narrowly in a close contest this election; please

tell us how you are feeling at the moment.”

“Yes, well— Let’s see, I suppose that my appeals weren’t able to

reach the voters, and I can only blame that on my own inadequacies
as a candidate… *sniffle* P-Please pardon me.”

“Oh, it’s all right. Please continue.”

“*sniffle* I just wonder. What exactly was it that I lacked…?”

“Hmmm, let’s see, I wonder if it’s related to how you can ask others
such questions without thinking?”

“!! … *sniffle* …waaa…”

“Oh, please pardon us for a moment. It appears that Candidate

Takita is a little choked up with emotion. Uh, well, I don’t have a
handkerchief, but you may use my sleeve.”

“*sniffle* …T-Thank you very much…”

(The feed cuts out.)

“…All right, next we have election results from notable races in the
Kanto region.”

“Oi, you were trending like mad for wiping the tears of an old man,
Minagawa. People are saying that it sparked this men tugging on
sleeves craze.”5

“Totally~ The department manager chewed me out right after the

interview, but after seeing the spike in the ratings, he couldn’t stay so
mad anymore. It was seriously a life saver.”

“Why the hell do you always run off with the damn spotlight!?”

“Let’s just say I learned it from watching you, Senpai~”

(First published in a blog post celebrating additional printings of Dear

Plus Bunko’s “Where Home Is” in July 2016.)
Translation Notes

This title refers to the Japanese version of the John Denver song
“Take Me Home, Country Roads.” The original and Japanese
versions of the song have different meanings, but based on the
“Daydream Believer” story that comes later in Off Air, I think Ichiho-
sensei had both versions of the song in mind when she wrote this
story.
NHK is publicly funded by a television license fee, however, the
law that enables their funding doesn’t list any penalties for non-
payment. When people don’t pay, they send out fee collectors who
have gained a notorious reputation for being aggressive.
Lawyers in Japan will hold up a long sheet of paper or a scroll with
large characters that says 勝訴 to announce their wins.
60,000 yen – Approx. $600 USD.
You know how in shoujo manga, the girl will reach out shyly to tug
on the boy’s sleeve? This is that.

Story 6: Other Short Stories – Part 5

Translator Note: This part contains ficlets that can be read any time
after Volume 1 of Yes, No, or Maybe Half?
Not Staged for TV

“Those were some incredibly cute baby pandas that we just saw.
Adventure World in Shirahama, Wakayama Prefecture has a male
panda, Eimei, most famously known as ‘Super Papa.’ Please take a
look at our flipboard. He has 6 offspring with Meimei and 8 offspring
with Lauhin.”

“Oh? But in human terms, if you were to look at this family tree…”
“Pandas are not humans, please do not confuse the two. Next, we
bring you our special report.”

“You said that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Huh? No way, it just slipped out~!”

“Apparently, the elder gentleman who we just saw fight off an Asian
black bear with his bare hands—he was once the number one karate
champion in Japan when he was young. Although it had been 30
years since he had last practiced karate, he said that in the moment
his fist just reacted on its own.”

“Certainly, there are times that the body can throb by reflex.”

“Yes, the body can move on the job by reflex. After the commercial
break, we bring you the weather.”

“Hey, I’m on to you. I bet you did it on purpose. You probably posted
this Don’t Lose Your Cool, Announcer Kunieda! supercut yourself.”

“Aww, I don’t have that much free time~ I can’t even edit videos…
You know, Tsuzuki-san’s probably a bigger suspect than me~”

“Oi, you know I’d never do that.”

“Oops, don’t tell me you’re angry?”

“As if I’d only string a few clips together before releasing it to the
Internet. I’d go all out with the sound effects and transitions.”

“That’s not the damn issue here!”

“…Maybe I should do it? It’s not a bad idea. I can probably add two
extra digits to the number of views.”

“Oh, then I’ll work even harder~”

“Dammit, I knew you did it on purpose!!”

(First published in a blog post celebrating additional printings of Dear

Plus Bunko’s “Yes, No, or Maybe Half?” in December 2016.)
Let’s Play with Kunieda-kun

A piece of strawberry shortcake sat by itself on a plate. But it wasn’t

a sad sight—Ushio just happened to buy it when he had stopped by
a bakery around closing hours and saw the last of the remaining
cakes in the showcase. A single fork laid next to the plate, and now
that Kei was back from work, they primed themselves to face off in
their first ever Don’t Topple the Cake battle. Kei had picked the right
to go first when he won the rock-paper-scissors match, and he
scored away a huge chunk from the front of the cake.

“Oh, you took a big one~ But can’t you be a little more considerate in
your moves?”

“Quit complaining, I didn’t break any rules,” Kei retorted as he

munched on the cake.

“Okay, okay.”

Ushio stuck the fork into the fan-shaped curve in the cake. Kei,
Ushio, Kei, Ushio… Eventually the cake resembled a candle, barely
supporting the strawberry that perched on top of it. And it was
Ushio’s turn next.

“Oh, right, we haven’t decided on the penalty for the loser yet. Well,
for Kunieda-san, it’s probably less a penalty and more to entertain
and service me…”
“What the hell are you saying? Anyway, hurry up! If you lose, you’re
coughing up 10,000 yen!”1

“Oh, the way you gouge people is very lower middle class of you.”

Ushio speared away the strawberry and ate it.

“Ah!”

As long as the cake didn’t topple, it was still in play. Generally

speaking, while the “cake” typically referred to the sponge portion of
the confection, it wasn’t against the rules to take the strawberry itself.
Kei obediently followed the usual conventions like the perfect, model
student that he was, leaving the strawberry alone—Ushio had done
absolutely nothing wrong.

He had done nothing wrong, but when Kei uttered, “Ah,” and his
eyes looked so incredibly devastated, Ushio couldn’t help but say,
“Sorry,” and apologize. The penalty went undecided, so what was
the point of the game then? It was all good as long as they got some
cheap entertainment from a single piece of cake.

(First published in a blog post for Strawberry Day in January 2017.)2

Full of Sun3

“I see that you’ve made the Top Favorite TV Announcer Rankings

again this year, Kunieda-san.”

“Heh…”

“Oh, you already knew?”

“I didn’t, but would a tuna be happy if you praised it for tasting

delicious? Of course, it’s delicious. Of course, everyone should
praise me.”
“I don’t understand your comparison at all, but okay. Kunieda-san is
an amazing announcer.”

“Awesome.”

“The most magnificent, awe-inspiring announcer to ever grace the

world~”

“Hnn?”

“A man who loves announcers, who is loved by announcers~”

“Oi.”

“Tokumitsu Kazuo? Kusano Hitoshi? Kume Hiroshi? Nay, he is the

father of all announcers!”

“Oi.”

“His incredible announcer skills have made him a man whose life is
targeted by the likes of CNN, BBC, and Al Jazeera!”

“Oi.”

“Winner of the Announcers Grand Prix for Most Surprisingly Boring

Autograph and Semi-finalist of the Announcers Grand Prix for Most
Surprisingly Boring Autograph!”

“You wanna say that again?”

“His bank account balance, including the allowance he used to get

from his parents, totals 21.7 million yen!”4

“Don’t rattle off a number that sounds almost real!”

“The pin code to his ATM account is 2102. Just remember the
mnemonic device: dual personalities… Hmm, seems doable.”
“What the hell is doable!?”

“Why don’t you give it a try?”

“No way, no how!!”

“Please, sir, I would love it if you could give it a try.”

“Even if you ask nicely, the answer is no!!”

“You can top me if you do it.”

“……No, the answer is no!!”

“I’m surprised that you even considered it for a moment.”

(First published in a blog post celebrating Third Place in SUGOI

JAPAN’s Best Light Novel Category in March 2017.)

Translation Notes

10,000 yen – Approx. $100 USD.

Strawberry Day in Japan is January 15th because ichigo sounds
like 1 and 5. The reason why it is not January 5th is because ichigo
can also mean once in a lifetime and that day is reserved to
encourage 15-year-olds preparing for exams.
Ushio and Kei’s exchange is a riff on the comedian Sunshine
Ikezaki’s famous, over-the-top introductions rambling about how
great of a comedic genius he is.
21.7 million yen – Approx. $217,000 USD.
Story 7: Early Summer Constellation

Author’s Note: This is a moving-in story. I used the soup curry from a
neighborhood shop of mine as the model for the curry that Ushio
makes in the story. It’s incredibly delicious, but the shop rarely ever
makes it available on the menu, and so I don’t know when I’ll be able
to eat it again…

First published in 2016 in Animate’s gift-with-purchase booklet for

“Where Home Is.”

Translator Note: This story takes place after Volume 3 of Yes, No, or
Maybe Half? It is a direct epilogue to the end of the volume.

Ushio had been a little worried because it had rained the day before,
but fortunately this morning, it was sunny and clear. There wasn’t a
single cloud in the sky, and there was no argument that this was
beautiful weather.

In Kei’s personal opinion, as long as the sky was 20 to 80% cloudy, it

fell within the realm of clear weather for him. When Ushio considered
this very broad definition of good weather, he thought that it was cute
to have such a positive outlook. Ushio liked cloudy and rainy weather
just fine, but they were moving into their new place today, and rain
would definitely put a damper on things. A bright, clear day would be
the perfect backdrop for the new life that they were starting together
today.

The moving truck arrived at 9 am. Everything was packed up and

ready to go, and the professionals finished loading a single
apartment’s worth of belongings in no time. Ushio loaded the
miscellaneous items and valuables in the rental car and headed to
the new apartment. There was no elevator to the fifth floor of the
building, and so it took more effort to move everything in, but the
movers were still able to finish around noon. Ushio tipped them extra
to cover their lunches for the day and sent them on their way.
The new bed and sofa he bought had arrived a few days earlier, and
now that there were appliances and moving boxes filling the space, it
turned the room from a magazine photo into a space that felt much
more lived in, and it made Ushio happy. However, he couldn’t just
stand there looking happy and doing nothing, so he fired himself up
to do the unpacking. He tore away the packing tape that sealed the
moving boxes and put away the contents as indicated, following the
labels written in marker such as Summer Clothes, Shoes,
Dinnerware, and so on. Manga… He could deal with that later. Ushio
had left the balcony door open and the air conditioner off while he
unpacked, but he found himself covered in sweat after a while. He
wiped off his sweat with a towel around his neck as he opened up
boxes, repeating the process and collecting the boxes to breakdown
and tie together with some string.

Ushio only had a few belongings of his own that he had moved into
the apartment, and everything else he mostly had to buy anew. It
was nice to have a fresh start, but it didn’t quite feel like he was
starting a new life, and so this experience of unpacking felt like a rite
or a ritual, and it helped him to feel calm. Ushio’s work was to
express images that he had in his head in a way that other people
could understand, and that was why he wanted to treasure the
emotions that he physically experienced.

And so Ushio finished the general things that needed to be done that
would allow them to go about their new life here without too much
trouble. He stretched himself out with his arms above his head and
then went to raise the hanging roller shade that hung flush against
the wall. Behind the shade was the entryway that connected the
room to Ushio’s room on the other side, but a bookcase blocked his
path at the moment, and he could only see wood paneling. He had
no choice but to put on his sandals and go through the front door
instead. He unlocked the door and went inside, but the human-
shaped lump on the bed didn’t budge a muscle.

“Oi~ I’m done unpacking for now.”

“…Nnn—”

The rolypoly under the covers stirred in response when Ushio called
out to him.

“After I shower, I’ll head out again to turn in your keys, so you should
get out of bed, okay? Minagawa will be coming over in the evening.”

“Don’t wanna,” came the complaint from the throw blanket. “I told
you not to invite him over…”

“He helped you out a lot, didn’t he? You should thank him for it,
Senpai.”

“You were the damn cause for his help!”

“And that’s why I’ve spent these days atoning for everything.”

Kei had ordered, I’m deigning to move here because of you, so you
can take care of everything yourself. Therefore, Ushio did all the
packing, found a mover, got quotations, contacted the utility
companies, and prepared the change of address forms at the post
office. And with the power of attorney that he carried, he planned to
finish the move-out procedures and file the move for him with the
residential registry. Ushio could freely control the use of his time and
he was happy to do everything for Kei, but he was still impressed at
how shamelessly determined Kei was to sleep peacefully through
everything, delegating all the work to Ushio. He didn’t care about
how to arrange the furniture, just saying, “You do it for me.” For the
packing, he didn’t even have anything that he didn’t want Ushio to
see or touch. This openness between them was less that they were
dating and shared everything with each other, but more like a
preadolescent boy telling his mom to do everything for him. But well,
Ushio decided to think of it as his own exclusive privilege to take
care of this Prince.
Even if it was only for a brief moment, Ushio still felt terrible that he
had let go the hand of someone who trusted him this completely. But
Kei had saved Ushio at a time when he had lost all hope, and Ushio
would of course do the same for Kei if he ever needed it. They would
probably continue to do so over and over again.

Ushio loaded the car with simple cleaning supplies and headed back
to Kei’s old apartment. As a final farewell to the place, he wiped
down and polished the empty apartment. It was something that he
wasn’t able to do for his own house. As he stood in the space with
nothing but walls, floors, and windows, strangely he was overcome
with visions of the days that he had spent with Kei here up until this
morning. He hadn’t come over to this apartment that frequently, but
the afterimages of the times that he saw here were truly varied and
distinct. The original tenant wasn’t even attached to this place that
much, leaving the entire move-out process to Ushio, but perhaps he
just had a stronger attachment to Ushio’s house that had been
demolished. Kei never said anything about it, but Ushio clearly saw
from time to time that Kei dearly missed that place that had been
their home.

Kei sulked and cursed a lot, but his love was fundamentally very
straightforward and honest. He loved what he loved and would
surrender everything to them. Everything else was everything else,
and they were essentially strangers to him. Ushio took up that sole
spot inside of Kei’s heart, and Ushio was so grateful for it. He wanted
to cherish Kei, giving him just as much love that Kei had given him, if
not more.

“Wow, the apartment is in beautiful condition. I wish all of our tenants

could treat their apartments this well.”

“Thank you.”
Of course, the flawless Kunieda-san would never carelessly leave a
rented apartment in less than perfect condition. There wasn’t a
single stain or nail on the walls, and the flooring was sparkling and
shiny. Ushio signed the final inspection checklist without any trouble
and returned the keys.

Ushio looked up at the apartment building as he left and once again

felt a little sad. Even though a new life was waiting for him, when he
thought about how he would never step inside here again, even if he
passed by, it left a heavy feeling in his heart. He wasn’t moving very
far and he could stroll by here if he was feeling nostalgic—but he
was sure that he would never be back. He ever passed by in a taxi,
he would place his forehead up to the window, but that was about it.
This place was all that it would become for him.

Ushio returned the rental car and went back to his new home. He
received a LINE message from Minagawa that said, I’m almost at the
station.

“Hey, I’m going to meet Minagawa at the station. I’ll do the shopping
for dinner tonight while I’m out. What do you want to eat?”

“Curry.”

“All right~”

Ushio met up with Tatsuki, and they walked over to the supermarket.

“Did you bring something for us?” Ushio asked, commenting on the
bag in Tatsuki’s hand.

“Yeah, a couple bottles of wine and soba, because you moved.”

“What kind of pairing is that?”

“I just happened to have a couple of unopened bottles at my place,

so I brought them over. But I thought that maybe it wasn’t enough, so
I bought the soba.”

Since there was soba, Ushio decided to make a soup curry for
dinner. One with lots of spices and tang to it. He could fry up plenty
of batterless summer vegetables, and it would be delicious. They
could finish the meal with a curry soba by adding a soup base to the
curry at the end and topping the soba with an egg.

Hmmm, but without any meat, he’ll probably complain… Maybe I’ll
buy some beef for shabu-shabu and parboil it for the soup curry.

Ushio bought the ingredients that he needed along with some

snacks and side dishes, and there was a beautiful sunset when they
exited the store.

“Wow, the river is glittering~”

“Yeah, it’s nice.”

The canal was not what anyone in the right mind would call beautiful,
but it took the light of the sunset and glistened across the water like
a stream of sparkling honey. It was so bright that it made him squint
his eyes. There were two supermarkets within walking distance in
the area, but both of them were built within the last couple of years.
This district couldn’t have been a great place for raising children, and
Ushio wondered how his mother had lived when she was here.

Wasn’t it hard without an elevator? Didn’t she have to go far to do

the shopping? Did she push a stroller as she walked down this very
street? There were no answers to these questions to be found, but it
didn’t pain him to think about them as he watched the scenery in
front of him that he might have watched as a toddler.

“So you spent all day moving Kunieda-san’s stuff for him? But geez,
it’s tiring enough just moving your own stuff! I gotta say that Kunieda-
san’s pretty incredible though that he can leave it all to you. You
really gotta trust someone a lot to do that!”
“I think so too.”

“Then again, he doesn’t have anyone else but you to spoil him,
Tsuzuki-san~”

“But didn’t he ask you for a number of favors?”

“No way~ He was just using me as he saw fit! He called me a pawn

to my face!”

“Those are just his usual insults. He calls me that too, but he doesn’t
mean it.”

“Anyway, I still don’t know why you suddenly disappeared without a

word, Tsuzuki-san.”

“Oh, sorry. I feel bad about it.”

Tatsuki didn’t actually sound serious, and so Ushio replied with a

casual apology himself.

“Heyyy, that sounds kinda cold… I don’t know what happened, but it
seemed like something really bad from what I could tell. I could see
that it totally shook Kunieda-san to the core.”

“Yeah.”

Kei hadn’t talked about the time when Ushio was gone. He would
berate Ushio all the time for giving him trouble and acting out of turn,
yes, but he never talked about how pained, worried, or lonely he
was. Kei probably thought that Ushio already knew all these things
without having to say it.

“But it only lasted a short moment though. I was like, ‘Oh, is he upset
about something?’ but then he was back to normal… Well, maybe it
wasn’t normal, but like a third personality was born? Something like
that. He even said that he wanted to eat at a ramen shop.”

“I see.”

Ushio had thought something similar. The Kei that had argued
brilliantly at his father’s house was neither the polished and upright
Kunieda-san nor the crude and acerbic Kei that unleashed profanity
and contempt. He was a mix of both.

That was probably why even though his stomach had been twisted
into knots in his stress and agitation, he could sit there and watch
Kei, accepting his fate as he thought, There’s no helping it, I’m just
going to fall in love with him over and over again, aren’t I? As if he
could stand to let anyone else fall in love with this Prince.

“Well, it’s all okay I suppose,” Tatsuki concluded roughly. “I was really
worried that you two might run away together and leave everything
behind, but it’s fine as long as things are back to the way they were.”

He sure is sharp.

Ushio had thought about doing just that so many times in his head.
But he knew that Kei would unconditionally say okay and do it for
him, and that was why Ushio couldn’t bear to go through with it.

The rays from the sunset no longer blinded them, and it sank, all
picturesque, a round and ripened red beyond the horizon.

Ushio saw a few of his father’s old paintings on the Internet. His
grandmother had given him his father’s artist name, and when he
searched for it, he was able to get a couple of hits. They were still
lifes, so quiet that they felt stifling. The scenes weren’t anything
special, but it made him think that no people would ever appear
there, like the ocean or the grasses themselves were rejecting the
presence of humans somewhere. Frankly speaking, Ushio didn’t
care for the paintings in the slightest and that made him feel relieved.
But Ushio had found a blog post about how someone had bought
one of the paintings a long time ago at an art gallery. They had heard
nothing about the artist’s further works or whereabouts, and though it
probably wouldn’t increase in value, they still kept it hanging in their
collection. It made Ushio a little happy to read that. He didn’t think
that genetics had made him choose the same field as his father, but
it didn’t make him angry to hear that it could be a possibility.

“Oh, there’s a nice breeze now. It feels great~”

“Yeah.”

The surface of the river twinkled with the glow of the sweet dusk of
evening, shimmering back and forth as if sifting through countless
beads of light. The daytime had already felt like summer, but once
the sun started to hide away, a light, cool breeze decided to make its
appearance. Ushio even looked forward to the sticky, humid nights
here. He didn’t particularly fuss about the seasons, but when he
thought how summer would soon be here, he felt more excited about
it than the spring, winter, or fall.

When they arrived at Ushio’s side of the apartment, Kei was

stretched out on the sofa, and he complained, “I’m starving.” There
were remnants of cup ramen in the kitchen.

“Food.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll go make it now.”

“Whoa~ You’ve already worked Tsuzuki-san like a dog all day, and
that’s what you say to him? Don’t complain when it’s over~”
“Shut up! Dammit, why the hell did you come over? Get a clue,
okay?”

“I was very kindly invited over.”

“Like I said, you can join in on the picture-in-picture.”

“But that’s not joining in on anything… Oh! Is this the secret passage
you were talking about? Whoa! This is amazing~ The bookshelf
really moves. It’s like a real ninja house! Tsuzuki-san, please make
one for my place too!”

“Sure~ Just cover the cost of materials and treat me to barbecue two
times, and I’ll do it.”

“Actually, I’m just gonna live here.”

“What the hell? Drop dead.”

While Ushio prepared their first dinner in their new home, Kei and
Tatsuki watched the news on other stations and made comments
about them.

“…Who the hell decided to cut the clip there? It needed 3 more
seconds to be able to read the sign… The composition’s terrible.
What the hell’s with the script. Ugh, I hate everything about it. Hasn’t
this lady been announcing for three years now? When is she ever
gonna correct her god awful delivery? She’s freaking horrible.”

“Oh, I heard that she’s having an affair with someone in their

department. You know the sports news anchor, Hojou? Apparently
they were kissing at work.”

“You really pick up nothing but stupid gossip everywhere.”

“I didn’t ask! People just tell me these things when I talk to them.”
“You probably met them through your worthless singles meetups
anyway.”

“I meet people all over the place~ With all my personal connections, I
can probably reach Miranda Kerr within 10 people.”

“Oh, I’ve heard about that,” Ushio said as he chopped vegetables.

“Apparently you can draw a connection to almost anyone in the
world within six degrees of separation.”

“No way, you’re kidding!”

“So your 10 people isn’t all that impressive,” Kei laughed scornfully.

To which Tatsuki weirdly insisted, “No, I can probably reach her in 5

people! Anyway, 6 people seems a little low for anyone in the world.”

“I don’t know all the details, but I do feel like it can be a small world
sometimes.”

“Yeah, that’s true. It’s a crazy surprise when you find out that people
you know already know each other.”

Speaking of which, before Kei and Ushio had met, they shared a
common connection through Shitara. It was a small world that
connected them through a surprisingly short string, but still, in order
to bridge the number of people that separated them, it was a huge
distance to close in order for the two of them to actually meet. And
with their single meeting, it gave rise to more new strings—for
example, between Kei and Ushio’s father and between Kei and his
grandmother. They couldn’t choose where the ends of the strings
connected, but ultimately, Ushio wished that the strings would wrap
just the two of them together into a cocoon.

“Oooh~ I smell curry! Can I help with anything?”

“I’m almost done with the cooking, and now you ask?” Ushio
chuckled wryly. “It’s nice and cool out, so how about we eat outside?”
he suggested.

“On the balcony? Do you have enough room out there?” Tatsuki
asked.

“Nope.”

Ushio picked out a key from his stash of keys hanging on the wall.
There was one that he hadn’t used yet.

“There’s the roof.”

Ushio unlocked the door that led to the rooftop of the building and
hurried to carry a folding table, chairs, dinnerware, and their food up.
He felt like this was all that he had been doing all day. Kei
complained unhappily, “What a pain in the ass,” but once the night
breeze hit him, his mood improved a little.

“All right! Congratulations on your new home! Cheers!”

“Why the hell are you leading the toast?”

“Now, now, now, now~ Thanks for the food~ Mmmh, this amazing! …
Kunieda-san, you should eat all the eggplant, it’s good for you~”

“You just hate eggplant yourself.”

“I don’t really hate it. I just don’t see the appeal.”

“That means that you hate it!”

It was early in the night out in the city. They weren’t very high up, but
if they looked closely, they could probably see stars here and there.
Ushio tried it out, fixing his gaze on the dark navy sky, and soon he
saw a few tiny pinholes of light. If he could thread some string to
connect them, they would become constellations. But not the ones
that someone else had decided—he would connect his own stars as
he felt like and create his own picture. And then he would give it a
name and a story of its own.

He could connect the edge of the heavens from far, far away to all
the other things found in the outer edges. As Ushio let his mind
wander among these thoughts, he realized that he wanted to make
something. He didn’t know what it was yet exactly, but the ground
water inside of him was slowly but surely welling up. He would
always get a strange feeling whenever it reached his chest, as if a
rush or an urge gave him this suffocating feeling or if something was
coming that made him feel anxious and excited.

Kei had said, You wouldn’t be you if you don’t create things. Ushio
felt like he could finally believe those words.

Tatsuki was filled with plenty of food and alcohol to fuel his upward
trending energy. Even after cleaning up, putting all the things away,
and locking up, his energy didn’t wane. He clung to the sofa where
Kei had set up camp earlier in the day and begged, “Man, I feel
great~ Please let me stay over for the night~!”

“You bastard…”

But before Kei could say, Fuck off, Ushio intervened and said, “Sorry,
nope. You’ll probably have chances to stay over some other time, but
for tonight, you’re going to have to go.”
“Ohhh~” Tatsuki suddenly got up and pointed between the two of
them. “You’re gonna christen the place~ It’s your first night here, so
you’re totally gonna christen the place~!”

“Yeah, we’re gonna christen it,” Ushio smiled easily and admitted.
“What’s wrong with a couple christening their new home?”

“Oh, I see~”

Tatsuki seemed satisfied as he suddenly nodded obediently. And

then for some reason he gave them a salute.

“It’s a sound argument, sir!”

“Good, good. Should I call you a taxi?”

“I’ll hail one on the street, sir!”

But since the building doors were locked, Ushio went with Tatsuki
downstairs, hustled him into a taxi, and saw him off.

When Ushio returned to the apartment, Kei was standing there,

completely red in the face. His cheeks and ears were flushed, and
his mouth gaped open from the interruption to his cursing.

“Looks like there’s still half a bottle of wine left. Go put it in the fridge
on your side, okay?”

Ushio tried to talk to him normally, but Kei gave him a hard smack on
the shoulder.

“Ow. What was that for?”

“What was that for? You… Y-You totally startled me!” Kei protested,
covering his mouth with a hand as he mumbled.

“What did I do?”

“You just suddenly said something like that.”

“He already knew everything, so I stated the obvious. Why are you
so surprised?”

“Yeah, but…”

Is this reaction a mad one? Or is he not as mad as he seems?

Probably a bit of both, Ushio concluded.

“I thought you were going to let him stay,” Kei whispered, dropping
his forehead on top of Ushio’s shoulder. “You’re always soft on him.
And you never give a hint of anything like that when it’s the three of
us together…”

“Hmm, well, I was trying to be considerate, you know.”

But there were times when Ushio would think, Why am I trying to be
considerate to the both of you? Can’t you two act a little more
uneasy and awkward around each other?

“But it’s not all the time. I have my own priorities that I’m thinking
about… Did you want to let him stay over?”

Kei’s bangs rustled against his shoulder as it rubbed back and forth
and answered, No.

“Should we christen the place?”

“Idiot.”

This time the bangs moved up and down, tickling Ushio’s shoulder
and his heart in reply.
After they christened their new home to their hearts’ content, they
soaked in the bathtub together. They were terrible adults, bringing
the leftover white wine with them to sip on in the warm bath. Ushio
had cut the wine with soda water in a tumbler topped with ice,
enjoying the chilled pops of bubbles inside his mouth. Kei was
leaned back against Ushio, sitting between his legs, and when Ushio
pressed the carbonated bubbles still popping on his tongue to the
back of Kei’s neck, Kei let out a shriek in a weird voice.

“Stop that, stupid!”

“Haha.”

Two pairs of legs tangled together at one end of the bathtub. A warm
body rested inside his arms. Water droplets dangled from the
earlobe in front of him. These sights were everything that he knew
well, and everything that he was seeing for the first time.

It would all start today, from this place. A new home, a new place to
return to.

They finished their bath and stood side by side on the balcony,
cooling off in the night breeze. Ushio leaned against the railing and
looked up at the sky. He found a number of stars, planets; he traced
them in the air and connected them freely with his fingertip.

Story 8: bless you

Author’s Note: I kind of invited myself onto a fanzine project put

together by my readers, but then I got cold feet at the “High School
AU” theme. I would love to see Tsuzuki-sensei and his student
Kunieda-kun next, please!

First published in 2016 in the doujinshi Daydream Album.

Translator Note: Ichiho Michi loves teacher-student relationship

stories, and her debut novel, “Snow! With the Scent of Apples” (Yuki
yo Ringo no Ka no Gotoku), features such a relationship.

The world (a small portion of it) was covered in a cold, thin layer of
white just a few centimeters thick. He wondered how such an
insignificant difference could completely change everything. It went
beyond the landscape of what the eye could see—water soaked
through his shoes and froze his feet, ice made the sidewalks slippery
and hard to walk, traffic slowed to a crawl and made it frustrating to
navigate. Even if he was born and raised somewhere further north,
he thought that he would probably have these very same thoughts.
This daily life of his disappointed him. His days transformed all too
easily with a bit of weather, a fluke, or a misunderstanding. If so,
then what exactly was this life, this routine, that he was trying to
establish for himself day in and day out for? It was a thorn of anxiety
that suffocated him whenever he thought too deeply like this.

There were so many things in this world that he couldn’t do—not with
his head, not with his body, not with his effort or quick thinking. The
number was endless, and he didn’t want the truth of this fact flaunted
in his face. Especially not with this beautiful, pure white appearance.

“It’s really coming down,” an airy voice murmured next to him.

“It is,” Ushio acknowledged, staring straight ahead. It wasn’t that he

was cold and unsociable; he was simply paying attention to the
traffic in front of him and he wasn’t supposed be having fun chats
with the people he was driving. Unless it was related to business
matters, starting conversations and engaging in them openly was
typically off limits.
“Sorry for making you wait.”

“It’s all right,” Ushio replied.

His part-time job entailed driving hostesses back to their homes after
they got off from work. Normally Ushio would be done before dawn,
but today there was a party after the club closed, though they had
called it a “meeting,” and it dragged on well into the morning when
people with respectable jobs would be reporting to work.

“I’ll tell the manager to add some extra for overtime.”

“Please don’t worry about it. I get paid very well as it is now.”

He was actually very good at handling people with a mild but firm
curtness to his face and voice. It didn’t mean that he put up a front
for them—just that even if they noticed his curtness, they would
somehow never make a big fuss about it.

“Ushio-kun, you’re always so formal~”

Just like this.

They approached a traffic signal, and Ushio carefully applied the

brakes to the car. He was still a new driver, and he was a little
nervous about driving in the snow.

This is so slow. I want to go home already.

Ushio didn’t find the woman unpleasant or anything, but he wanted

to go home as soon as possible so he could sleep.

On the other side of the wipers slowly moving back and forth, there
was a crowd of people waiting for the traffic light, all looking
expressionless.

“It’s the season,” the woman commented.

“Huh?”

“Over there. See the students reading through their workbooks?”

“Oh, you mean entrance exams. Seems like a bad omen for the
exams to be on a day like today though.”

“You’re so young, but you think about things like that,” the woman
laughed. She was probably around 20 years old herself, but Ushio
didn’t find a hostess acting older than her age to be very funny. He
thought that it was sad actually, but it was probably none of his
business.

“Just like that protection charm that you have.” She pointed a long,
tapered fingernail at the traffic safety charm that hung from the end
of the car key.

“My grandma gave it to me when I got my license.”

Because his other set of grandparents had died in a traffic accident.

“Did you know you’re not supposed to hang that somewhere below
your head? At least, that’s what they say.”

“No, I didn’t.”

He was about to say, You’re so young, but you know a lot about
these things, but he stopped himself.

“It’s because it makes God unhappy. That’s why everyone hangs

them from the top of the windshield with a suction cup. Anyway,
that’s what I had heard from a customer when we went for a drive
together recently. There was a huge charm swaying inside his
BMW… it was hilarious.”
“Hanging something from the windshield blocks part of the view, and
so I’m not allowed to do that for safety reasons.”

“So that’s why— Oh, it’s green.”

“Okay.”

But the streets were congested and the cars crept along cautiously,
and so they stopped again for the light. The crosswalk was right in
front of them—white paint on asphalt, snow trampled with footprints
—a smattering of white and black and gray jumbled together. He
liked how it felt all in disarray.

“There are a lot of exam students here too.”

“There are.”

In the group of students next to them heading in the same direction

and waiting for the light, there was a beautiful profile of a face that
seemed to draw people’s attention. The bridge of the nose was high
and straight, and the gaze was fixed firmly ahead towards the other
side of the street. He wouldn’t describe the face as androgynous, but
it didn’t have a hard masculinity to it. The boy didn’t refer to any
reference books or vocabulary flash cards—not like it would help at
this point anyway. Ushio thought that the boy could probably get into
any university that he wanted. That was his impression anyway.

“Hey.” The woman peered at Ushio’s hands gripping the steering

wheel.

“Yes?”

“What does it feel like to see kids like them? They’re about your age,
right?”

“What does it feel like? Nothing really.”

“Do you think that it’s a different world from yours? Or that you’d like
to go to college too?”

“I don’t.”

He wasn’t saying it out of pride; it was what he truly thought.

However, the woman reached her hand for Ushio’s chin and said, “I
could let you go.” The tips of her fingers were cold.

“If you wanted to go to college, Ushio-kun, I would work so that you

could go. You wouldn’t have to take any part-time jobs, and you
could do whatever you wanted. I would take care of you.”

It was unbearable for Ushio to rely on others and have them take
care of him. He knew that they expected something huge from him in
return.

“…So look at me more.”

The woman turned his head towards hers. The scent of night,
perfume and alcohol mixed with all sorts of things in the air, wafted
over to Ushio’s nose.

Past the dyed light-brown hair and through the front windshield,
Ushio met the eyes of the owner of that beautiful side profile. Ushio
hadn’t noticed that the boy was looking over at him, and there a clear
look of disdain in that pair of eyes. It said, What the hell are you
doing in the middle of the street? The face had not made any
movement, but somehow Ushio could read the sentiment there. He
thought that the windshield wipers passing back and forth ruined the
view.

Oh, he probably thinks I’m kissing her. But I’m not.

The boy probably couldn’t see the hand that he put up to block her
lips. The crossing was only a few seconds, and the boy immediately
turned his head away. The light turned green almost at the same
time.

“…Hmph—”

The woman probably anticipated his reaction and pouted jokingly as

she quietly sat back in her seat. Ushio silently accelerated the car.
He didn’t have time to look at the side profile again as they left the
intersection behind. The charm that his grandmother gave him
swayed back and forth from the end of the car key.

The snow stopped before noon. The Shinkansen that he took home
wasn’t too chaotic (but it was crowded), and he arrived home safely.

“How did it go?” his mother asked.

“I don’t think I failed.”

“So you think you passed? You’re just so full of confidence. Can I
laugh later if you fail?”

“Why would you laugh!?”

Well, I’m sure that I passed.

“Remember to thank your father when he gets home. He went all the
way to Tenmangu Shrine to give you that charm for your entrance
exams.”

“It’s all my own effort if I pass, not because of divine intervention.”

“That’s not what it means to give a charm.”

It was unusual for his mother to speak so seriously.

“Wishes are something that you can’t normally see, and so when
someone wishes others to successfully pass their entrance exams or
to safely give birth, they are giving you their wishes in the form of a
charm, hoping that you keep their wishes with you. So you should
always remember to be grateful for that, instead of a god that you’ve
never seen before.”

It was too embarrassing for Kei to outright say, Okay, I will, so he

grunted something that sounded like neither an Oh or a Hmm.

“Well, if I were God, I would let you fail,” his mother said.

“What the!? Why!?”

“You should experience failure at least once in your life.”

“How can you even say that!?”

“I’m home. Oh, Kei, how did it go?”

That night as Kei closed his eyes in bed, for some reason he
recalled the scene that he saw in the morning. When he had casually
looked over to the side, there was a scene of two people kissing in a
car. A gaudy-looking woman, just judging by the back of her head,
and a man—well, he didn’t get a good look at the face, but he could
easily guess. He had thought, Ugh, why’d I have to see this? But he
didn’t think about it any further. He would sleep, wake up the next
day, and forget everything about it. The charm that his father had
given him was still inside his coat pocket.
“Owww…”

He had hurt his left wrist in some unforeseen circumstances. For

now, he had put on a pain relief patch that he kept around at home,
but it felt like the pain worsened instead of subsided. He picked up
the charm that he had left next to his computer. It used to be
attached to the key for his bike, but after carrying it for years, the
cord eventually broke and he never fixed it. Maybe it was its fault
that he had the accident.

No, it was all that guy’s fault. That shady-looking, outrageous guy
who totally gave him the fake name “Owari.” And yet, when he
remembered him, it made him strangely want to laugh. The guy was
just so weird—everything about him.

Oh yeah, I’m starving. I should eat the beef rice bowl that he left.
He’ll probably throw a fit about it if he comes back.

The phone number that Ushio had extracted from him could possibly
be fake, but strangely enough, Ushio believed him. That “Owari”
would come back again. That they would see each other again.

Maybe the charm that he had forgotten at home wasn’t a “fault” but a
“blessing.” But he would only come to think that some time later.

Story 9: Daydream Believer

Author’s Note: Ushio settling his differences with his father with the
help of his sweetheart like the main character in Oishinbo… would
probably never happen! If they were to settle their differences, Papa
would have to say as a condition, “Break up with that rude, black-
bellied announcer!”
Translator Note: This story takes place after Early Summer
Constellation.

It was soon after they had finished moving. They had settled into a
somewhat decent routine at their new home when Ushio suddenly
made an announcement. But it wasn’t such a huge surprise that it
threw a wrench into the gears of their newly established life.

“I’m thinking of making a short film.”

“Aren’t you always making something?”

“It’s not for work. It’s for myself,” Ushio said. “I mentioned it before,
right? That I wanted to make a continuation for the aliens from the
opening for The News. I want to get started on it.”

The matters with the move were pretty much settled, and Ushio had
generally wrapped up the work that he needed to finish. Apparently,
he had developed the storyboards for the continuation already, and
he wanted to devote his time to working on the rest of it. Anyway, he
could do whatever he liked, but…

“I don’t get what you mean by it’s not for work. Are you saying that
you won’t get paid for it anywhere?”

“Well, it’s not like anyone’s commissioning me for it.”

“When you say it’s for yourself, so you’ll spend weeks on end fiddling
with your sets, filming, editing, and then you’ll watch it by yourself,
tell yourself, ‘Oh, that was great,’ and call it done?”

Ushio was free to do that if that was what he wanted, but Kei couldn’t
help but make some envious and slightly disbelieving comments.
Then Kei remembered that Ushio had flown over to the U.S. before
to help a friend out with a personal project.
“No, I want to make it public. But I don’t want to put it somewhere
that pays for the number of views. Since the characters are already
in use on TV, I’ll need to discuss it with Shitara-san.”

“Why are you going through so much hassle for this?”

Ushio was a professional who earned his living in this line of work,
and just because he wanted to work on something that he had a
personal attachment to, it didn’t mean that he cut corners on his
other work, but in Kei’s opinion, the thought of not wanting to profit
on the project was rude to those who commissioned him. Kei hated
when people insisted on things in order to take a moral high ground.

“It doesn’t matter who you’re doing this for, but if you start giving
away your work for free, you might not have a leg to stand on later.”

“I’ll make sure to draw a clear line,” Ushio answered. “But for this, I
want to do something different… I’m not disavowing the work where I
have to count how much I make and how much I spend. I find it
worthwhile to work on projects with other people’s interests in mind.
But first I want to do something without any of that. I want to make
something that I enjoy, something I really want to see. And I want to
do it without worrying about how it will be received or if it has the
desired effect on people. I just want a blank slate for this.”

Ushio was serious about it, and so Kei had nothing else to say. Just
like how Ushio never interfered when Kei was serious about
something.

“So how long is it gonna take?”

“Hmmm… I have my data on the computer, but I need to remake the

sets.”

Kei flashed back to the days when he had helped Ushio with his
work.
Don’t tell me you want to remake all those clay figures from scratch?

“You’re not gonna be broke by the time you finish, right!?”

“It should be fine. I won’t need to do so much pre-production work

like last time. Hmm, I can probably make things work until fall.”

“That’s three months. You can afford that?”

“I can’t take on any large jobs, but I can do small jobs here and there
part-time. If I go broke, please save me, Kunieda-san.”

“When you hear the interest rate from the Bank of Kunieda, you’ll get
more chills than a paranormal experience.”

“I’ll pay you with my body.”

“That’s a 10,000 yen1 surcharge for making a lame remark.”

“I’m sorry that I’m not as funny as you, Kunieda-san~”

“You’re fucking mocking me. That’s a fine of 10,000 yen.”

“I’ll be bankrupt in three days. Leave your predatory practices to just

my body, okay?”

“I just said it’s not funny!”

“That’s fine.” Ushio reached across the table where they faced each
other drinking beer, and he grasped Kei’s hand. “I’m being serious
here, and it would hurt my feelings if you laughed at me.”

…Kei wanted to laugh in Ushio’s face for his nonsense. But then
there was the timing, the overindulgent smile that made Kei want to
shout, Aren’t you tired of looking already!?, the soft but strong grip of
the fingers over his hand—they made the bullets of words, stocked
inside him and ready to fire, come tumbling out of their magazines.
His head abruptly overheated, and all that could come out of his lips
was a feeble jab back at him.

“Are you an idiot?”

Ushio stood up without even a scratch to his smile.

“Whoo~ I’m gonna do my best to get preyed on for all my worth

tonight~”

“You’re messed up, you’re messed up, you’re messed up.”

But nevertheless, Kei kept their hands linked together.

They had finished their bout between the sheets, but there was a lot
of room for argument over whom the predator actually was. Kei
waited to catch his breath and called out to Ushio.

“Oi.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t know what you’re planning on making, but I can help you like
the time before if you want.” Kei then sped up his words. “But I don’t
owe you anything this time, so it’ll cost you! 5,000 yen per hour!”2

“Huh, the expenses would outstrip the losses from not taking
commissions if I do that…” Ushio lifted the tips of hair matted with
sweat off of Kei’s forehead. “But I want to do this myself.”

Kei had pretty much expected this answer. He roughly wiped Ushio’s
temple with the back of his hand and whispered, “You’re really a pain
in the ass.”
“But it would be nice if we could do things again like we did back
then. Just chattering about stupid stuff and fiddling with the sets as I
worked and filmed. I think back on it now, and it was really a lot of
fun.”

There was a distant look in Ushio’s eyes for a moment, but then he
looked back at Kei. He brushed up Kei’s bangs with his fingers and
said, “I’m sorry. I had planned to move the clay figures that you had
worked on and put them into storage, but I just had a strange
attachment to them and I wanted to keep them around.”

Kei twisted his face in a frown and batted Ushio’s hand away. “Quit it.
Don’t take the initiative to apologize for stuff.”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“If I feel like blaming you for something, I’ll do it myself, and you can
feel terrible all you want when it happens! I don’t know how to react
when you get all gloomy and sorry on me!”

Ushio was the one who was hurt far more here.

“Okay, I won’t care about anything anymore.” Ushio all of a sudden

nodded his head with vigor.

“Who the hell said you could forget about everything?”

Kei was exhausted and sleepy, and so he turned his back to Ushio.

Ugh, but I need to shower.

“By the way, I’ve always wanted to ask you, how did you feel back
then when you would come over to my place?”

…I’m just about to sleep, and you ask such an aggravating question.

Kei didn’t bother to hide his annoyance and shrugged, “I forgot.”

“My first impression of you was terrible, but maybe for you it was
love at first sight?”

“You fucking delusional!? You pretty much threatened me into

helping you, you damn quailbrain!”

“What’s a quailbrain?”

“A birdbrain, but it didn’t quite cut it.”

“You remember it just fine.”

Of course he remembered. And now that he thought back on it,

Ushio had lied to him from the first day they met.

—I’ll warn you now, I can hold a grudge for a long time.

If Kei had ignored his threat and never came back, Ushio probably
wouldn’t have looked for him. He would have continued working
through his injured arm without any need for Kei. It was a thought
that pissed Kei off.

“Well, I guess if I find out, things can’t go back to before when I didn’t
know,” Ushio said. “It might have been nice to have Kunieda-san and
Owari toy with me a little while longer back then.”

“You were the one wavering around on your own.”

“No, no, inside I was really torn between the two. But at the same
time, it was also exciting and fun for me.”

“Moron.”

Ushio seemed to have detected the thorns in Kei’s voice. He

pressed himself up to Kei’s back and asked, “What’s wrong?”
There had to be something wrong with himself. Their skin was sticky
with sweat and pressed together, but Ushio’s touch made him feel
relieved.

“I bet you were over the moon, basking like the main character out of
a standard manga plot, all giddy with your pick between two girls on
completely different ends of the spectrum.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Aren’t you that indecisive guy who’s everyone’s friend, but you
always run into lucky perverted situations, and despite that, you have
an odd gentleman-like insistence to behave normally, and somehow
you attract everyone’s interest in you no matter how forced and
dumb it seems?”

“Hmm, I don’t recall ever being that lucky…”

“Well, I never want to go back to that time.”

Kei buried his head deep into a pillow. It was a ludicrous double life,
living his days as his public and private personas. Ushio was right—
although he did enjoy some parts of his time back then, he couldn’t
handle it anymore after a while. His anguish from that time only grew
more when he recalled it. The dread of what would happen if Ushio
found out about his lies, the guilt that he felt for deceiving Ushio for
so long, the fear that Ushio would hate him if he came clean and
confessed—they had haunted him so much. When he had watched
Ushio act so friendly in front of Kunieda-san, he should have been
pleased with the result that he had tried to engineer, but he only felt
hollow and sad. It was a time that had long since passed, and that
pain could have turned into a sweet memory, but for him, it was the
complete reverse.

“Kei.”
“For you, it might have been a choice between beef and tuna, where
each was great and you wondered which one choose, but for me it
was different…”

“It was something that seriously weighed on me too…” Ushio’s

strained laugh tickled the back of Kei’s neck. “But, yeah… You’re
right. I don’t think it compared to what you felt at the time. I’m sorry.”

Ushio pressed his lips to Kei’s neck.

“I love what we have now. Nothing compares to it.”

Ushio left a series of short kisses behind him—bubbles planted on

bare skin yet to have cooled from their passions.

“Don’t get the wrong idea.” Kei mustered all of his might to issue
Ushio a warning.

“What?”

“This by no means implies that I fell in love with you first or that I
loved you more, okay!?”

“I know, I know.”

“So why the hell are you hard!?”

There was an unsettling heat pressed up against an unsettling area.

“You were just so cute that it made me horny.”

“Learn to restrain yourself, idiot!”

As soon as Kei said that, Ushio pressed his body up against him,
wrapping his arms around his waist, and sweetly nibbled an earlobe.

“Nnh…”
Kei’s nerves had been ready to enter a lull, but they sent a small
wave that rippled through his shoulders and paralyzed them.

“Stupid, no, no more—”

“Okay.” Ushio’s breath scorched Kei’s skin as he whispered, “Stay

still then.”

“Ah.”

Ushio’s cock grazed past the fusion point where they were just
connected, and it slipped itself in between Kei’s closed thighs.

“No, stupid.”

“I won’t do anything.”

Ushio rocked in and out behind him, creating a friction. Kei had to
admit it was nice that he didn’t have to do anything.

“Ah, ahhh…”

But just because Ushio wouldn’t do anything, it didn’t mean that Kei
wouldn’t feel anything. Well, no, Ushio was actually doing plenty,
rubbing against him down there. Kei could feel something supple
nuzzling the underside of his cock, like when Ushio would rub his
nose against his own. The skin between his legs was surprisingly
sensitive, creating a sheath for the rhythm, and he could distinctly
register Ushio’s pulse and desire there. Every time Ushio grazed
against his taint, barely the width of a fingertip, it would send shivers
through his tailbone.

“Kei.”

“Aaahh…”
Kei couldn’t see Ushio’s face, but he could feel Ushio’s breath, losing
its composure behind him—the intimate caresses, harsh and raw,
right into his ear, curled around him like an animal in heat, and it felt
so dirty and shameless that it thrilled him.

“Nhh, ahh, ngh…”

It was the sense that his body was being used that was so
exhilarating. Kei wouldn’t stand for it for one second if it was
anybody else, but with Ushio, it felt incredible. He couldn’t control the
emotions that welled up inside him, and it mystified him how much
he loved this than hated it.

“Nnh, no, nooo…”

Ushio’s cock repeatedly nudged his own in short little motions,

transmitting Ushio’s desire over to him and making him hard. Fluid
smeared all over his delicate area, whether it was freshly spilled pre-
come or come spent from earlier—he didn’t know, and he heard wet,
filthy sounds that he never thought could have come from simulated
intercourse. Arousal swirled through his body down to his fingertips,
sweat drenching him everywhere. Even his voice, Ushio’s gasps, the
air from the new apartment—they all soaked into his skin with no
way for him to ever recover.

“Aaah, ah, ngh, ahh.”

The inside of Kei’s body knew this particular cadence very well,
nuzzling over and over against him from the outside. It was only
about 15 minutes ago that he was spread open and wanton around
that thick cock, tasting the pleasure of each thrust and taking
everything that was poured into him at the end of it. Kei could feel his
shameless little hole, impatient and eager for it, opening and
clenching to the sinfully delicious rhythm.

But the hard tip of Ushio’s cock only teased him, sliding over the wet,
slicked skin of his entrance, refusing to invade him. Kei’s hole
gasped open restlessly, like a baby chick waiting and waiting to be
fed but never getting its treat. His frustration affected him down to his
cock even. Kei clutched his pillow so savagely he could probably
tear it to shreds, and he fought down the urge to writhe in his agony.
He was going to jerk himself off if Ushio kept this up, but it wasn’t
exactly what he wanted.

Kei wanted Ushio inside of him, not rubbing outside of him. He

wanted Ushio’s cock thrusting in his hole, plundering him deep. He
wanted Ushio drilling his pleasure into his body, so that he could
never feel satisfied by anyone other than Ushio, even if that person
was Kei himself.

“Don’t move. I’m going to come soon.”

“Huh?”

But he didn’t want Ushio to come yet. If Ushio came, it would all be
over. He didn’t want Ushio to come outside of him. But the thickness
that slid back and forth between his legs throbbed harder and larger,
and it felt like it would welcome its release at any time.

“…Here.”

“—No!”

Just as Kei tried to say, No, don’t, Ushio suddenly raised Kei’s leg
and shoved his cock into Kei’s hole that he had been bypassing all
this time.

“Aaah…!!”

He didn’t panic at the sudden thrust rammed inside of him. His hole
was as flexible as fired melted glass, and it happily accepted Ushio,
tasting him in the deepest parts inside, clutching at him wet and
sticky.
“No, ahhh, noo, don’t…”

All the bones in his body slumped helplessly, and he came—less as

a spurt and more as a dribble that flowed out of him without any
other means for his release. His hole was tender, throbbing and puffy
from his need, but it clutched at Ushio’s cock, feeling its length inside
him, and it was shameful how aroused he felt from the slightest bit of
movement.

“Ahhh, ah, ah, noo, stupid, you liar… nhh.”

“Why?” Ushio asked. He dug his fingers where he clutched the back
of Kei’s knee, rocking it with his thrusts.

“I did say that I was coming soon.”

Dammit, you said that to mislead me on purpose. Ugh, this was what
you were after from the beginning.

“You said that… you wouldn’t do… anything—ah, ahhh, no…”

“That’s what I had planned.”

“Nnnh, no, not there.”

“But you would try to suck me in every time I grazed by, so I thought
that you were full on seducing me.”

“No way, you idiot, nghh…”

“Yes way. You wanted it so badly.”

Ushio clutched Kei’s body to him, nudging the leg that he held up to
slip his hips between Kei’s thighs, deepening his thrusts.

“No, aaah…!”
“You don’t want to move all that much, but you kept following me
back to where you wanted it. You must have known what you were
doing.”

The hand curled around Kei’s body moved up to his chest to find a
nipple. His channel was tight and narrow to begin with, but Kei found
himself squeezing down on Ushio even more, gasping hard as the
fingers tormented the little pebbled peak.

“Ahh, no, nooo…”

“Kei, kiss me.”

Kei turned his head, his body still under Ushio’s full mercy, and
greedily devoured Ushio’s lips. For how difficult it was to move his
hips, he made up for it by licking and sucking and plundering his
tongue. The strain he had to endure from their positions instead
spurred his lust even further. Sparks flew when their teeth clashed,
and in the midst of his ecstasy, Kei thought that he might catch on
fire.

“Nnh, nnhhh… ah, aaah— Ushio.”

“Hmm?”

“…What part-time job are you planning to take?”

“Huh? I don’t have anything in mind really. Anything that’s short-term

and flexible. Why?”

Kei clutched the back of Ushio’s hand spread against his body.

“If you work at a hostess bar again, I’ll kill you…”

“What? What? Say that again. I didn’t hear you.”

“Liar!”
“Hey, you said it really quietly.” Ushio broke into a full smile and
lightly kissed Kei on the cheek. “You’re really too cute.”

“Shut up. Drop dead.”

It was as if his smile repelled insults because Ushio didn’t seem like
he heard Kei at all.

“…Of course I wouldn’t take a job like that. I promise that I’ll never do
anything to worry you.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Because if he always doubted him, then Ushio would always try to

show him otherwise. The proof that he received all of Ushio’s love,
all of Ushio’s thoughts, all of Ushio’s concerns.

“…Let me come for real this time.”

“Nnhh…!”

Ushio pumped in and out of Kei with short, repeated strokes, as if to

prevent his arousal, fully happy inside, from slipping out. Kei’s come-
smeared hole sucked greedily on Ushio’s cock, making endlessly
obscene sounds that filled his ears with shame. But even though the
sounds made him so embarrassed that he wanted to disappear, he
surrendered to the pleasure as soon as Ushio fisted his cock.

“No! …D-Don’t touch me in so many places.”

“Idiot,” Ushio whispered, tracing his tongue behind Kei’s ear. “I

physically don’t have enough hands to touch you everywhere I want,
so I’m holding myself back here, you know.”

“Ah, noo, ah, ahhh…!”

“Nnh, you’re so tight, it feels so good…”

They shamelessly demanded their pleasure from each other, finding

new heights. The pleasure they gave, the pleasure they received, it
was all the same to them, overwhelming their senses.

“Ah, aaahhh…!”

Kei sucked all of Ushio’s come into him, like he was a creature
designed just for that purpose, and his cock spilled its own white,
milky release. In that moment, the world disappeared from all five of
his senses. The sense of void with the sense of fulfillment that
immediately followed afterwards—they shared and occupied him in
equal parts, and without stopping to catch his breath, he exchanged
hungry, insatiable kisses, happy to indulge the night to his heart’s
content.

If newsprint paper was the cloudy sky, then he was at the height of
the rainy season as he took in the text like a flurry of raindrops. Kei
was plowing through the evening papers at the network when his
eyes landed on the headline, PHP Leader Eba Hospitalized After
Falling Ill, and the raindrops turned into words again complete with
meaning. After attending a conference in the city, Eba had fallen ill
and was sent to a hospital with a fever and cough. It was thought to
be a slight bout of pneumonia, but to be safe, he would be
hospitalized for the time being. It didn’t appear to be a serious
illness, but with his age, it made Kei feel a little concerned.

Kei hadn’t seen Old Man Eba since the uproar at Ushio’s father’s
house. Kei had made it clear that the only compensation for Eba’s
help was his gratitude, and Eba probably didn’t need an explanation
for the events that had transpired. Kei was sure that above all else
Old Man Eba was happy to see Ushio all grown up as an adult, and
that was why Kei had felt he had done enough to show his
appreciation for the old man, however…

Kei stood up from his desk and headed to see Shitara.

“I’d like to talk to you about Eba-sensei.”

“Oh, he’s hospitalized, isn’t he?”

“Yes… Would it be possible to pay him a visit at the hospital?”

“You personally, Kunieda?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm~” Shitara closed his eyes and crossed his arms. “Despite how
he seems, which sounds pretty rude, but he is the leader of a
national political party. Wouldn’t it stir up rumors again about you
running for office?”

“That is true, but…”

There was no chance that he could get permission from his manager
at the announcer department, and there was too much risk at stake if
he were to go secretly and it happened to get out. That was why he
tried asking Shitara, where there was maybe a hope of getting an
okay, but the negative response of “I don’t really recommend it” in
short meant that it was impermissible from the view of the network.

“You are an announcer, after all. You are a company employee, but
at the same time, you’re not. But I’m sure you know that very well
already.”

“Yes.”

Was there really nothing he could do? Well, Eba was still a regular
on a BS program. Maybe Kei could run into him in the building and
see him after he was discharged. He replied back, “I understand.”

“Do you really want to go?”

“Um?”

Shitara fixed his gaze on Kei. However, it wasn’t a stare that tried to
probe his intentions.

“Do you really want to pay Mr. Eba a visit at the hospital?”

“Yes.” Kei didn’t hesitate as he nodded.

“I see. Can you leave this matter for me to handle? If he’s

discharged from the hospital before I can work things out, then
sorry.”

“Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.”

“You can thank me after I can get it to work out… Oh, right, speaking
of politicians. It’s still a long way’s off, but I thought I’d tell you about
it now. We’re going to have Minister of Internal Affairs and
Communications Wakamiya as a special guest on the show.”

That name was a complete ambush, and Kei wanted to applaud his
facial muscles for only displaying the normal amount of surprise on
his face. Also his vocal cords for answering in a pleasant voice, “Oh,
is that so?”

“We haven’t fixed a date for him yet, but it will probably be in
September or October. If he requests that it happen before the Diet’s
extraordinary session, then probably September.”

“Is there a reason for that particular time?”

“Not really. We’ve made requests to have him on the show ever
since his appointment to the Cabinet, but he’s been extremely busy.
It seems that he’s finally had some time in his schedule for us. You
know how next year will be the 60th anniversary for the network? I
think for part of our time with him, I’d like to see him have a
discussion with Asou about the future of the TV industry, so we’ll
prepare a number of questions along those lines beforehand.”

So that probably meant Shitara didn’t plan to bring Announcer

Kunieda into the discussion. But still, Wakamiya could have turned
down the request. Maybe he was plotting something… But probably
not. If he was going to do anything to him, there was no need to
come to Kei’s home turf to do it. Kei had full confidence in his ability
to outmaneuver him on camera. It was a pain in the ass, but it was
nothing to be scared about.

“Old Man Eba was hospitalized.”

“What? Seriously?”

Ushio was surprised at the news when Kei came home that night
and told him about it.

“He’s a contributor on our network after all.”

“I was working and wasn’t really paying attention to the TV. Is the
hospital close by? I wonder if it’ll be okay see how he’s doing.”

“You probably need to make an appointment.”

“I don’t have his contact info… Maybe I can leave a message with
someone at his office?”

“…And what if you happen to bump into your old man at the
hospital?”
Ushio raised his eyes in thought briefly and answered, “If he’s there,
then he’s there. There’s not much I can do, and he’ll have his
security detail with him. We’ll probably pass each other, and that’ll be
it.”

Kei was relieved that Ushio didn’t appear to be lying or forcing

himself. Maybe Ushio needed to feel conflict over his feelings, that
maybe it was something he needed to go through, but Kei would
rather have him feel at ease.

“…Anyway, so Grandpa Eba, huh…”3

For some reason, Ushio suddenly sounded out of it, and Kei had to
retort, “Oi, he’s still alive. It’s just a slight bout of pneumonia.”

“Oh, okay.”

What was he getting all lost in thought for? Ushio didn’t seem to
realize he was knitting his brows and muttering to himself, saying
things like Maybe it would work or That would be good. Maybe he
got distracted again with his project once the conversation hit a
pause. Kei had planned to bring up Minister Wakamiya’s planned
guest appearance on The News after telling him about Old Man Eba,
but with Ushio off in his own little world again, Kei lost his chance to
mention it.

Shitara issued the green light for Announcer Kunieda’s hospital

visitation about a week later, but it took about 10 days before Kei
actually went to see Old Man Eba. He didn’t know how Shitara
managed to swing it, but he was given a date and time he could go
and a box of sweets to bring with him.

“You’re paying the visit on behalf of Politics Free Talk, the BS

program that Mr. Eba appears on. You have a lot more freedom in
your schedule during the day, so I was able to put you in charge of
it.”

“But I don’t have any connections to Politics Free Talk.”

“The host of the show, Kudo, he was your training instructor as a

new hire, right? Both he and the show’s producer are overseas on
an assignment and can’t make the visit, so you’re going as their
proxy. But the reason doesn’t really matter. If anyone tries to say
anything, I’ll handle it myself, and if anyone happens to ask you
about it, just say it’s orders from above.”

Kei looked at the nameplates posted outside of the hospital room.

There were three other names listed along with the name Eba
Sougen. He was a member of the National Diet and (more or less)
the leader of a national political party, but these were rather modest
accommodations. Kei knocked on the door to be polite and
announced as he opened the sliding door, “Good morning.”

There was an elderly man in a bed by the window in the four-person

room. The curtains were fully pulled back, and Kei could see right
away that it was Old Man Eba. He was sitting upright with his arms
crossed and his eyes closed. As Kei walked closer, he could hear
music coming from the earphones that Eba was wearing. It was the
Japanese cover version of a famous song.

“Oh?”

Eba noticed Kei in the room and opened his eyes, removing his
earphones. The first thing that he asked was “Where’s my sake?”

“I’ve brought you jelly today.”

“Tch.”

“Shall I put it in the refrigerator for you?”

“It’s fine. My wife will be here soon, so you can leave it here.”

“All right.”

Kei placed the bag with his gift on a small table and turned to bow to
Eba. “It has been a while since we’ve last seen each other.”

“Hmmph, it sure has.”

“I’m glad to see you looking well.”

“Asahi TV only aired a single 30-second story about my

hospitalization. How heartless is that?”

“It was 25 seconds.”

He should probably keep his private thoughts to himself here, but Kei
couldn’t help correcting Eba because he didn’t have to put on
appearances in front of him.

“That’s even worse.”

“Have the other patients sharing this room gone somewhere? It

appears that you’re the only one here, Sensei.”

“Yeah, they’re all young men, but none of them align with any party
and they don’t even vote. I’ve been lecturing them every day about
the importance of participating in the political process, and they
probably decided to flee.”

Heh, they should’ve quarantined you in a separate room.

“Oh right, Homare’s son came to visit me yesterday.”

So Ushio was able to contact Eba and visit him. Kei evaded the topic
with a “Hmm.”
“I used to think he resembled more of his mother when he was
young, but now he resembles more of Homare.”

That doesn’t make me happy.

“His personality… resembles him too, a little. Just how he just seems
to do the things he wants in his own way.”

“Did he say anything rude?”

“No, no,” Eba chuckled wryly, shaking his head. “That was just my
impression. Anyway, thanks for coming all this way. Give everyone at
Politics Free Talk my regards. I should be discharged next week.”

“That must be good news for the people sharing the room here.”

“That’s enough out of you! Hurry up and scram!”

Eba waved his hand to chase him out, but Kei understood that Eba
was taking Kei’s position into consideration and minimizing the risk
of people seeing them together.

“Then I shall take my leave.”

“Hey, wait,” Eba called just as Kei reached the door.

“Yes?”

“…I still think you would make a pretty good politician.”

“Thank you very much,” Kei answered with a smile. “But I don’t think
that I’m quite suited for it.”

“That’s a humble statement.”

“You have it reversed.”

“Huh?”

“I’m saying that I’m not suited for such a small position of a politician.
Please get well soon.”

Kei gave a wave of his hand as he left the hospital room and heard
an outraged voice yell, “Damn whippersnapper, thinking you’re so
clever!”

Please keep your voice down within the hospital.

The rainy season gave way to the call of summer. Kei didn’t ask
about every little detail about Ushio’s progress, but it looked like he
had thrown his heart and soul into this project that he wanted to do
for himself. It wasn’t like he worked without sleep or rest though, and
judging from his appearance, he consciously scheduled breaks
throughout his day. He wanted to work, but he didn’t want to
complete his tasks under an emotional high—this discretion was
likely proof of how serious he was. And upon finishing the project,
Ushio planned to purchase and install a hammock that he had
wanted for a while as a reward for himself.

“I know that we already have a bed here, but because of Kunieda-

san’s fault, I haven’t been able to use it anyway.”

“Don’t get carried away with your damn accusations!”

At the end of July, Ushio took a small part-time job helping out on an
overnight assignment for The News. It was nothing special, and after
they aired the story, Shitara invited them out for dinner.

“I want to celebrate the completion of the assignment and thank

Ushio-kun for the wonderful footage that he shot. What do you think
about dinner with the three of us?”
“Thank you, I would love to join you.”

Please don’t make me attend, Kei thought to himself, but he owed

Shitara for helping him out with Eba, and so he had no choice but to
readily accept the invitation. It was just around the Bon Festival
season when they sat down at a round table in a private room at a
stylish and casual Chinese restaurant.

“It’s been a while since the three of us have gone drinking together. It
was before the re-launch of The News, so probably 2½ years? Time
sure flies by~”

Strictly speaking, it wasn’t exactly the three of them together again.

Ushio hadn’t known about Kunieda-san’s true identity back then.
That was why it was a slightly bittersweet atmosphere for Kei…

Ugh, I don’t have to go remembering it.

Kei took a sip of shaoxing wine chilled over crushed ice to help calm
himself down.

“Kunieda has really changed, hasn’t he?”

“Um?”

It was another remark from Shitara that almost made Kei lose his
composure. He feigned innocence and commented, “I’m not quite
sure what you mean, but if you’re saying that you see growth and
improvement in me, that of course makes me very happy.”

“You’re always growing and improving… But well, to speak frankly, it

feels like you’ve become more interesting. It doesn’t mean that it’s
good or bad, but I prefer you the way you are now, Kunieda.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Oh, me too, me too,” Ushio interjected.

Don’t freaking chime in, idiot. I’m gonna start sweating.

Kei could only gloss over the comment with a beautiful, vague smile.

“By the way, Ushio-kun, how is your film going?”

It relieved Kei to see Shitara shifting his attention to Ushio. He

picked up some abalone braised in oyster sauce with a pair of long
and smooth chopsticks, taking care not to drop it.

“It’s going okay.”

“I’ve given a lot of thought to what you consulted me about earlier.

What do you think about bringing your film to our network?”

“Huh?”

“Of course, I don’t mean that we would use your film for free. We
could unveil it on Asahi TV’s video streaming channel as part of our
community outreach project, where our network will contribute 1 yen
per view to be donated to a cause. That would naturally mean that
you won’t see a single yen, but the film will earn a great amount of
exposure to the public. I think it brings a lot of extra value, and it
might even net The News more viewers after people see the film. It’s
a pretty good idea, in my opinion, but what do you think? Or would
you prefer to keep it more low key?”

Ushio’s face was a little frozen in surprise, but he slowly shook his
head. “No, I definitely appreciate that you’ve put so much thought
into it. Thank you very much. It’s a great idea, and I would love to
see it happen.”

“Fantastic! That’s great to hear. I’ll work on getting everything

arranged with each of the departments at the network then… But I
have to say, you’ve also changed a little, Ushio-kun. I can’t really put
my finger on it, but that was the impression that I got when I saw
your storyboards for the film.”

Ushio briefly fell silent again. On the other hand, Kei was completely
focused on the char sui plate sitting in front of Ushio.

Turn the plate over here, dammit.

“…I guess I would have to say it’s my frame of mind.”

“Oh?”

“Maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Maybe it’s more like my

feelings… It’s the first time that I ever wanted someone to see my
work.”

“Who would that be?”

“My family,” Ushio answered. He deliberated over his words carefully,

which he never usually did. His grandmother was in good health, but
she was probably not the person who Ushio had in mind for his
answer.

“Before I didn’t want them to come near my work, but now my frame
of mind is different. It’s not like I want them to feel something or to
tell me what they think about it though. Hmmm, I’d say it’s kind of like
my business card? Something that says, this is my work, and they
can look at it and say, okay, and that would be it. Anyway, something
like that. But it’s not like I need to give this business card to them
directly. If I put it on the net, it’ll be out there, and that’s enough for
me.”

“I see.”

Shitara didn’t say anything more, just like how Old Man Eba never
inquired further. He only smiled and raised his glass. “I look forward
to seeing your business card.”
They exited the restaurant, and only after Shitara’s taxi turned the
corner and completely left their line of sight did they start walking
side-by-side together.

“Want to buy some yakitori to bring home?”

“It’s fine… By the way…”

There were other pedestrians around, and so Kei spoke in a low

voice with his head down.

“Hmm?”

“I didn’t know that you were thinking that.”

“I wasn’t really thinking about it… More like I just realized that it was
what I was doing all this time. I don’t really think too much about
what I’m doing, but when Shitara-san said that I had changed a little,
it was the first time that I really thought about it.”

“…Hnn.”

“Aww, don’t pout.”

Ushio reach his hand over to catch the button on the cuff of Kei’s suit
jacket. It was a Saturday, but Kei had work earlier in the day. Even
though it was ridiculously hot out, he was more at ease outside
armed in a formal suit. Ushio wore a three-quarters-sleeve boatneck
linen T-shirt with jeans—completely different from that time they had
dinner together.

“I’m not pouting.”

Kei wanted to reach out and pinch the bit of bone on the outside of
Ushio’s wrist, but he fought down the urge and said, “Actually, I want
yakitori after all.”
It was right before dawn on an early September night.

“I’m done.”

Kei was sleeping when Ushio shook him awake. He got up without
complaining, slapping his bare feet on the floor. The late summer
heat felt like it would boil him to death during the day, but at this time
of night, the flooring was nice and cool to the touch.

“Let’s watch it here.”

Ushio left the lights off in the room and pulled down the roller shade
that hung where their two rooms connected. A mini-projector
projected Ushio’s film onto the screen. They sat down on the floor
next to each other to watch it, and it felt kind of like the movie days
that were held in his elementary school gym. They didn’t just watch it
once—they played it on repeat. Kei didn’t say anything. Because he
knew that Ushio didn’t need any words from him. They just sat next
to each other with their legs crossed and their hands linked together,
resting in Ushio’s lap.

It played over and over again, and as the short film repeated itself,
the room slowly brightened, slightly fading the world projected on the
screen. More time passed, and the canal reflected the light of the
sunrise like the surface of a mirror. He didn’t know how many times
they watched it, but they didn’t stop until morning came calling on
them at their home.

Shitara’s cell phone rang.

“Hello? Oh, I see. No, it’s all right, it’s not something that any of us
can control. We will try to delay it as much as possible until you can
arrive… Yes, thank you.”

Shitara ended the call and said to no one in particular, “The minister
is apparently caught in traffic.” Wakamiya was already late for his
arrival, and it didn’t surprise any of the staff. They had planned for a
9 pm arrival at the studio, and because of a party meeting of his
running long, it was now 9:45. His appearance was planned for
10:30, but now it looked like they couldn’t even have a pre-show
briefing. Kei wasn’t inclined to greet him in front of other people here,
and this made it more convenient for him if Wakamiya just showed
up and left after fulfilling his obligations.

“Um, what should we do on the off chance that he doesn’t show up

in time?” The on-air director frowned. “Should we move sports up
ahead of time?”

“Can the clips be ready if that’s the case?”

“They’ll spit fire, but yeah, we can make it happen.”

“All right, we’ll do that. And if he still can’t make it in time, we’ll just
have to fill up 10 minutes… We can re-air the stories from the
evening news: the marijuana story and the serial cat poisonings. We
don’t need to edit the clips at all. Then we’ll add another minute to
weather and three fresh stories for the flash news. Let’s make that
our backup plan. If the minister manages to make it in the nick of
time, he’s of course the first priority. I’ll make the call at the
commercial break before it happens.”

“Yes, sir.”

The staff rushed around the studio in more of a panic than usual.

“Kunieda, if we have to switch around the segments, I’ll have you

read the news stories.”
“All right.”

Fundamentally, it didn’t matter who was coming into the studio as a

guest or not. Kei would simply do his job as Kunieda Kei. But Kei
would probably click his tongue and grumble, That stupid old man of
his, if he couldn’t make it in time today. Kei accepted the extra scripts
prepared for their backup plan and looked them over. After a couple
of readthoughs, it was time to stand by for the show. He got up from
the long worktable in the corner of the studio and moved to the table
on the set under the lights. He wondered what would happen here
today.

The studio door opened around 10:20 pm. Kei could tell without
looking that it wasn’t a staff member or a presenter who had entered.
There was an air and a commotion from the outside world that
wasn’t merely just sound. While Kei commented here and there to
show that he was listening to the commentator’s criticisms, he
caught sight of Ushio’s father in his peripheral view. He seemed to
have made it in time. From a quick glance, Kei saw that he brought
with him some heavy security detail, that secretary Saijou, and a few
other people. He didn’t have much time, and so the staff quickly
mic’d him up and combed through his hair at the same time to make
him presentable.

“—After the commercial break, we will have our special guest tonight
Minister of Internal Affairs and Communications Wakamiya here in
studio to discuss the future of TV within the media landscape.”

For a few minutes, the studio was released from the cage of the live
broadcast.

“We’re in commercial!”
“Minister Wakamiya is entering the set!”

“Please take a seat here!”

Ushio’s father sat down in the chair that the AD prepared for him,
and facing Asou, slightly bowed his head. “I apologize for my late
arrival.”

“Oh, no, I understand how very busy you must be. Thank you very
much for making time to be with us today. We will be doing this pretty
much off the cuff, but I think you will be fine if you stick to the topics
that we had communicated beforehand. If there is anything too
difficult to answer, please feel free to dodge the question as you feel
fit.”

“I believe that would be scarier than just answering the question.”

Minister Wakamiya was smiling, showing the soft, humble

personality from the time when Kei had first encountered him. Kei
didn’t think that this face of his was completely fake, but he did
wonder how much of it made up his true personality. Although Kei
also did the same thing, taking the trouble to create an image for the
public, it wasn’t like Kei would ever find the answer. He would shift
himself as needed, depending on what the situation called for, but
only in front of Ushio, would he ever be 100 percent freely himself.
Kei wondered if Ushio’s father had someone like that right now, but
he didn’t know if he wanted the answer to that question.

The commercial break ended, and they entered the next segment.
They talked back and forth in between short video clips that the
show had prepared. Their conversation flowed smoothly, as if they
hadn’t only met a few minutes ago, and there was no hint of artifice
or awkwardness in the interview. They discussed the balance
between broadcasting liberties and ethics, methods in use for
disaster coverage, and the handling of breaking news bulletins
covering a range of different topics. Today was the first time that they
had ever spoken with each other, but their masteries in discourse
meshed beautifully with each other. Kei thought that it was an
excellent interview, even from an objective point of view.

“Having just touched on the role of TV in the Internet Age, we would

like to take the opportunity to show off a wonderful new short film
related to our show. Please take a look.”

A video clip played after Asou’s lead-in.

Ushio’s alien dolls appeared on the screen accompanied by a light

piano melody. They traveled in their UFO on a long journey until they
found a new planet and built a new home for the two of them there.
The wind blew down their straw house. Fire burned down their
wooden house. Flood waters carried away their stone house. They
lost their home over and over again, and every time it happened,
they would face each other, holding hands, and repeat the process
of building a new home all over again.

In the background was a husky, subdued singing voice, almost as

soft as humming—singing Daydream Believer.4

Ushio had said a long time ago that there was no meaning or theme
to his films. That was why Kei didn’t know what the video truly
meant. Was he trying to say that everything will eventually break? Or
that no matter how many times things break, people can always start
over again? Or that people are creatures who continue to grow and
make progress? It could be anything—they were all valid. This was
Ushio’s business card, and Wakamiya Homare watched the full 1½-
minute video without pulling his eyes away. That was enough.

“What did you think, Minister Wakamiya?”

“Oh, well…” Wakamiya made a non-committal comment as he

smiled wryly to Asou’s question. “First, I have to say I’m quite
shocked to hear such a very familiar singing voice.”
“Oh, did you recognize it? The singer is actually the leader of the
Progressive Honor Party, Eba Sougen. Apparently the filmmaker
thought that his voice was perfect for the film and asked him to do
the song. I think it’s quite incredible how fitting his voice is.”

“I wish he could always keep his voice this quiet.” After making the
studio laugh, Wakamiya continued, “I prefer the English lyrics for this
particular song. If I recall correctly, it is about a young couple who
believe they can live happily together even without very much
money. But in the Japanese cover, the song becomes a sad one
about how they are separated.”

“It is about his mother,” Kei opened his mouth to say. He met Ushio’s
father’s eyes for the first time tonight and continued without pulling
his eyes away. “He is singing about his deceased mother in the
Japanese version of the song, and so the ‘she’ refers to his
mother.”5

Kei couldn’t tell if the surprise in his eyes was real or an act.

“…I did not know that. Thank you for sharing that story with me,”
Wakamiya answered pleasantly and shifted his gaze.

Announcer Kunieda was in charge of the closing comment to round

out the segment.

“The full version of the short film can be viewed at Asahi TV’s
streaming site, and Asahi TV pledges to donate 1 yen for every view
that the video receives to the Japanese Red Cross Society. We hope
that all of our viewers will go and watch it. Asahi TV will continue to
deliver content on the Internet and engage the issues that our
industry faces. Thank you very much for joining us tonight, Minister
Wakamiya.”

Wakamiya stood from his seat, gave a bow, and exited the studio.
Kei couldn’t tell for sure if Wakamiya had realized who the filmmaker
was, but Kei watched his back as he left and had a few thoughts.
There are tons of things that you don’t know.

That right now, Kei and Ushio were living in the apartment where a
long time ago “she” had once lived. That the three sets of handprints
were still on the walls. That “her” son was now the happiest he had
ever been and he lived every day with a smile.

Because he has me to love him.

When Kei returned home, Ushio was his usual self.

“I got lobster as a gift for my locality tax donation. Want to eat it

tonight?”

“Yeah.”

Ushio boiled the Japanese spiny lobster whole, and they ate it with
lemon mayonnaise. Kei sank his teeth into the fluffy white lobster
meat.

“Kei.”

“What?”

“Thank you.”

“It wasn’t anything.”

Kei hadn’t arranged the announcement out of his feelings for Ushio.
Since they were fortunate to have a prominent guest on the show, he
simply suggested that they make the charity fundraising
announcement at the end of the interview, and it was approved.
There was nothing more to it. That was why he had nothing else to
say, and they spent their night eating lobster and drinking beer.

There were times when Kei would wonder if this was all a dream.
That maybe he was still Kunieda-san and he had never met anyone
—that he was just dreaming all alone by himself. That when he woke
up, he wouldn’t have any of the beautiful memories inside him—that
it was just a sad and empty dream.

But Ushio, sitting in front of him, he gave Kei this reality. With his
gaze, with his smile, with his fingers dampened with condensation
holding a can of beer, with his words saying, “Let’s use the head and
shells to make a stock and have ramen tomorrow.”

But maybe, possibly, this wasn’t reality, but a long, long dream that
had no end. Either way, it was fine. As long as he made Kei believe
that this would never end.

And Kei would make him believe that it would never end.

An endless dream wouldn’t be bad either.

Translation Notes

10,000 yen – Approx. $100 USD.

5,000 yen – Approx. $50 USD.
Eba is not his grandfather, but he uses the term like how you
could call unrelated ladies Aunties.
Daydream Believer is a song by The Monkees.
Please check the comments section for a translation of the
Japanese version of Daydream Believer.
Story 1: JUST LIKE HONEY

Author’s Note: This takes place right after the YesNo titled story,
when Kei is still hesitating over lots of things between him and Ushio.
And Ushio only becomes happier the more troublesome Kei is to
handle. I fondly remember how happy I was at how incredibly cool
Ushio looks on the cover.

Illustrator’s Note: I personally really like covers featuring a single

character, and I got really excited to make a pin-up type cover of
Tsuzuki-san… But it looks like I made it so similar to a photobook
cover that it even captures the feeling where it’s trying hard not to be
one…? I made the design so that it looks like packaging for honey.

First published in 2015 in the doujinshi JUST LIKE HONEY.

Translator Note: This story takes place in the immediate aftermath of

Volume 1 Chapter 8 of Yes, No, or Maybe Half? Ichiho-sensei
includes the lyrics of “Hachimitsu” by Spitz (Honey) in the doujinshi
version as inspiration for the story.

The morning after was okay. As long as he hadn’t blacked out drunk
or anything, it felt like any normal sequence of events. It was just that
after leaving the house, getting ready for work, and spending the rest
of his day as usual, he wondered what would happen afterwards.

He wasn’t interested in the minutiae per se. Everything felt like a

reset, and he wondered, when he rebooted, would his adventure
continue from where he had left off?

“Good night. I’ll be heading off.”

Kei left the staff room to the chorus of Good work tonight! behind
him. After the elevator doors closed with no one else around, he
could finally release the facial muscles he had used to maintain his
smile.

Following the premiere special, their show had proceeded under the
normal program format that the producers had developed. Today
was in a way their first day of the show, and in the review meeting,
they had discussed things like camerawork and operations at the
switchboard and identified areas for improvement such as equipment
changeovers and positioning during the commercials. In no time, the
clock had hit 2 am. Strictly speaking, Kei was a presenter, and the
stafflings could hold these discussions without him, but it was an
incredibly critical time with the startup of a newly revamped show.
Anything he did would probably leave a lasting impression on the
staff, and so with petty motivations in mind, Kei had decided he
would show some solidarity and build up his brownie points. Plus,
the network would pick up his taxi fare at this time of night.

When he climbed into the taxi, he hesitated a little as he tried to give

his destination.

Which place should he give? —Wait, there was only one place that
was his home, of course. But should he take yesterday’s route or
not?

Yesterday he had a clear purpose for seeing Ushio at his house. But
did he have any purposes to see him from now on? He no longer
needed to help Ushio using his fake identity, and when he had left in
the morning, Ushio didn’t tell him to come over again, but he didn’t
say not to come over either. Uhh, what was he supposed to do in this
situation?

Kei ratcheted his brain cells up to full operation, more than he would
use for work during a broadcast. It took just one second to come to a
conclusion: shelve it. And so he promptly gave the driver the address
to his apartment building. They lived in the same neighborhood
anyway.
Kei could go home, take a bath, examine the recording of the show,
check the other news shows… And if he still wasn’t sleepy, he could
head over there as part of his walk. In the meantime, Ushio might try
to text or call him.

Wait, of course he’ll text or call. Wait, he better do it, dammit.

…He would, right? He better would. Ugh, now my grammar is

messed up from using my head too much.

Kei turned off the TV. And evidently the cell phone that he kept next
to him had remained dark the entire time.

Even though it was just yesterday. No, wait, was it because it was
just yesterday that he wasn’t calling? Up until Kei had arrived home,
he had been full of energy to take action. He had settled into his
regular routine and worked through his tasks, but by the end, he had
lost all of his willpower. He was tired, sleepy, and hungry, and now it
was already 5 am. At this hour, it was probably more efficient to stay
up to check the morning news and papers before going to bed. If he
headed into work at 3 o’clock, he would be lucky to get 5 hours of
sleep.

Kei sprawled out on the floor. He stared at the silent cell phone next
to him and sighed.

I’m a very busy person, okay? I’m a popular figure nationwide with
incredibly huge responsibilities, and I don’t have time to think about
you all the time. So give me a damn call or a text. Well, maybe
you’re waiting on your end too, and I suppose you could be busy
with work. I’ll overlook it for just one more day.

Kei settled for grumbling to himself as he magnanimously granted

him some mercy and fired up his work engine once again.
Today he would hear from him, he was sure of it.

“All right! Looks like we were able to wrap up our first week without
any huge mishaps. We did have some small mistakes here and
there, but generally, I think we worked hard to pull together a great
start for our show. It’s all thanks to everyone here—from the staff to
the presenters. Make sure you rest well over the weekend, and we’ll
work hard again next week. Good work, everyone!”

“Thank you! Good work!”

Huh?

Uh, what?

Did a week really just pass? Without any contact from him?

In his mind under the bright studio lights, his head slumped over so
much it could probably snap.

What the hell? Maybe it was like that song? Sunday he’d go to the
market, Monday he’d draw a bath, Tuesday he’d take the bath—
every day he’d have a different task, all tyurya tyurya?1

Ugh, forget it. I can’t come up with a rant that can make me satisfied.

Seriously, do you really think I’m going to contact you? Don’t make
me laugh. You can say: Oh, my parents aren’t home today. Or oh, I
rented a really funny movie. Or oh, I just got some great wine. Or I
made too much curry. Or I caught a giant stag beetle. Or I’m serving
chilled noodles. I don’t care what stupid excuse you come up with,
just call me. I won’t even guilt trip you about it. I wanna make a
newsflash—Tokyo man arrested on the scene under charges of
abandonment and negligence.

Kei left the studio and waited for the elevator. A few familiar faces
headed in his direction, chatting happily as a group. It was the staff
from the evening news. It looked like maybe they were having a
party in a conference room somewhere, because they were carrying
plastic bags from the convenience store with beer and paper bags
with delivery.

“Oh, Kunieda-san. It’s good to see you!”

“I watch you on the nightly news. The show is really great.”

“Thank you.”

It was best to let others chat during small talk (it was easier that
way), and so Kei gently offered up some interest and asked, “Are
you having a party here?”

“Oh, no, not here. We’re about to drive over to Tsuzuki-san’s place.”

“Oh?”

Kei almost responded with an outraged What!? but he somehow

stopped himself in time. Why did they bring up that name?

“We were saying that we should have a party to celebrate the wrap
up of the filming, but we haven’t been able to make time for it.”

“And there’s lots of stuff we want to talk to him about.”

“Oh, Kunieda-san, would you like to join us?”

“Unfortunately, I still have a meeting after this.”

“I see. Oh, but we still have the welcome and farewell party for the
evening news this month, so we’ll see you there!”

“Yes, I look forward to it.”

Kei watched as the elevator went down, and then he entered the
elevator going up. He typically refrained from using his normal voice
inside the network, but he couldn’t hold himself back this time. He
could feel his eyebrows knitting together.

“…What the fucking hell!?”

Why the hell did he have a reservation with those worthless idiots?
And they had to say, “Kunieda-san, would you like to join us too?” Oi,
oi, oi, oi, oi! Am I fucking afterthought? An extra add-on? So they
have lots of things to talk about? I’m the one with— No, wait, I don’t
really. Nothing worth mentioning anyway. Anyway, you seem to have
plenty of free time. What’s the big idea, huh? You have time to drink
with them, but you ignore me?

Kei fumed so hard that the elevator could have gone over the weight
limit.

But once the elevator reached his floor, he immediately changed

gears and walked towards the staff room with a quiet elegance.

It was a two-hour meeting summarizing the week, analyzing the

viewership numbers, and discussing the plans for next week’s
broadcasts. By the time it was over, Kei didn’t care about anything
anymore and went home. He wasn’t going to contact him no matter
what…but as soon as he made his resolution, his cell phone rang.

What the hell. Is he too shy to express his damn feelings?

Kei answered the call just before it went to voicemail.

“What are you bothering me for?”

“Hmm, you’re in a bad mood.” Ushio’s voice was completely normal.
“I have a ton of leftovers here. Want to come over and help finish it?”

“Those are totally leftovers from your party!!”

“Huh? How did you know that?”

“I’m not a damn trash disposal for your leftovers!”

“No, no, I’ve separated out the parts that no one touched.”

Was that the problem here? Kei was pissed off as hell, but he did
say he would forgive him for any excuse. Plus, he was hungry…
Those were the excuses that he made to himself. Then he took a
quick shower, got dressed in his normal clothes, and headed out.

Was it okay to enter the house with his spare key? Yes, he knew it
was strange to be hesitating to use it after all this time.

I mean, we did it. But just because we did it, does it necessarily give
me free rein over things? Like calling without a reason? Or going
over without a reason?

At the very least, if anyone did that to Kei, he would hate it.

But he’s different from me and different from the other partners I had
(the very few for a brief period of time)…

The more he thought about it, the less he understood. He wondered

if they had truly become closer that night they had spent together.

He stood there in front of the door with the spare key in his hand.
That was when his cell phone rang again.

“What!?”
“Nothing, just that you’re not here yet. Oh? Did you arrive already?”

Maybe he had heard Kei’s voice because the door opened from the
inside. In an instant, Kei could detect the smell of Ushio’s house. He
could only describe the smell as woody and the hint of something
like paint and basically Ushio’s house. It was something he had
noticed when they slept together.

“Were you thinking about a gift to bring me?”

“In your dreams.”

For the time being, it was a relief that they could hold their
conversations as usual.

“…What happened to everyone?”

There were no extra shoes in the entryway, but Kei decided to check
with him anyway.

“They’re upstairs sleeping.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Obviously, I’m joking. Everyone left already.”

Ushio grabbed Kei’s hand as he made an about-face and towed him

up the stairs with him. Kei’s fingers jerked in reflex, and Ushio
tightened his grip even more.

But when they reached the second floor, Ushio casually let go of his
hand and started rummaging through the refrigerator as he called
out, “Is beer okay?”

What the hell, dammit, Kei cursed at both Ushio and the racing of his
heart.
Kei sat down in front of a neat plate of hor d’oeuvres, and he couldn’t
tell that they were even leftovers. Ushio raised the cans of beer as
he walked over.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what?’ Don’t you know what a toast is?”

“For what?”

“For the end of the week or something. Anything really. We’re

drinking here together after all.”

If you care enough to share a toast, then don’t leave me alone for a
damn week! The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he wouldn’t
say it. He couldn’t say it. He didn’t have the personality that would
allow him to openly say, Pay attention to me.

“Here’s to the end of the week.”

Ushio bumped his can against Kei’s motionless one and started to
drink.

“I watched the show all week. So you’re not going to have another
panel discussion?”

“Hell no. It’s terrible for my heart.”

“I think you should hold them every spring and fall. Maybe I should
suggest it to Shitara-san.”

“God, he would probably consider it too, so don’t you dare say

anything.”

“But you’ll do it if that’s what you have to do.”

“Of course, dammit.”

“Just watching you over the week, you can handle everything so
smoothly. I feel like I worried about you over nothing your first day.”

“Huh!? You gotta be kidding me. Do you know what I…”

“Well, as long as you feel grateful to me, that’s all I need.”

“I don’t!”

“I see, I see. Want some pizza? I can heat it up for you in the frying
pan.”

Kei was grateful to Ushio. Of course he was. But the nuance was
more that if he had to call it “grateful” then sure, but it was a bit
different from needing to say thank you out loud… Because Ushio
didn’t think that Kei needed to thank him. For some reason, Kei knew
that clearly and instinctively. However, he wondered if it was really
okay to always give these types of responses. Kei had no
experience acting true to himself in front of anyone but his parents.
But his parents were his parents, and they had long abandoned all
sorts of thoughts and expectations out of him, but Ushio was a
complete stranger.

But there had been a great number of times when Ushio would
anticipate Kei’s answer and tease him back. And he had said that he
wanted Kei to stay the way that he was—that he loved both sides of
him.

He did say that right? It wasn’t all a dream? Or his imagination?

Kei chugged his beer and stared at Ushio’s back. There was no
worry that Ushio would read his gaze and his expression, and he
could relax like this. He wished he could just sit here staring at him
without bothering about what would happen next. But Ushio soon
turned off the stove and brought a plate with him to the table. Kei
saw his face, and he figured that everything was fine as they were. It
was okay to be as they were.

…This was worse for his heart than appearing on TV.

“Huh? Did you already finish this?” Ushio shook Kei’s can of beer.
“You’re really chugging it. This is half a liter, you know?”

“Gimme another.”

“Well, I guess it’s fine. It’s the weekend.”

Ushio brought over a fresh, damp can and pressed it to Kei’s cheek.

“That’s cold.”

“You’re all red.”

“Because I’m drinking.”

“Yeah?” Ushio laughed. “Don’t use my back as a side dish for your
drinking.”

“I wasn’t!”

Kei couldn’t help but become indignant even though it was a clear
message that Ushio had guessed right.

“—Oh. Sorry, it’s a work call. Feel free to keep drinking.”

Ushio brought his ringing cell phone and his can of beer with him
downstairs. Kei decided to turn on the TV. After flipping through a
few channels, he settled on a late-night variety show. He could hear
Ushio’s voice in between the orchestrated cheers from the show.
Things like Piece of cake or I’d totally go for it. His speech was
incredibly casual for a work call. And he sounded like he was
enjoying himself—laughing and interjecting Seriously? over the
phone. Kei wasn’t very happy about it. Especially since he came all
the way here to see him. But the crispy pizza and chilled beer tasted
far better when he wasn’t eating it and drinking it by himself.

Kei downed his second beer just as quickly as the first. When it was
empty, he slumped his head down with one cheek against the table.

Hurry up and come back, stupid.

“Hey, it’s already past noon.”

“Huh…?”

Ushio shook Kei’s shoulder, and Kei blearily opened his eyes to see
Ushio looking down at him.

“You can stay and sleep if you don’t have any plans, but I have to
head out of here for work.”

When Ushio asked, “What will you do?” Kei thought a little with his
brain that wasn’t functioning just yet and answered, “Tonight I have a
party for new hires at the announcer department.” So, uhh, he had
come over to Ushio’s house last night after work—apparently he had
fallen asleep and Ushio had carried him to bed. He did sleep
incredibly well though. The staff and technical team had been on
pins and needles with the new show not knowing what to expect
from it. The jittery atmosphere naturally whittled down his own HP
and MP, which stressed and wore him out. But now he felt
completely refreshed, as if he had stayed at an inn that fully restored
his points like an RPG. But he still had a work party to attend later.

“So I’m gonna go home.”

“Okay. Here, take this with you.”

Ushio handed him a plastic bag from a convenience store. Kei
looked inside to find three rice balls wrapped in nori seaweed.

“I was going to leave these here so you can have them for lunch if
you were going to sleep. But you don’t have much time, right? You
should eat these at home.”

Are you my mom? Actually, he’s nicer than my mom.

Kei nodded his head silently. He remembered that Ushio had once
yelled at him that people who couldn’t say “thank you” or “sorry”
were worthless, but Ushio didn’t seem all that bothered about it in
practice. Regardless what Kei did or didn’t do, Ushio took everything
into stride just far too smoothly, and Kei couldn’t figure out what
attitude to take with him. Kei could relax more if Ushio could be more
forthcoming about that night and just say that he was the mood to be
generous towards Kei at the time…

No, wait, that just pisses me off. I don’t want that.

Ushio didn’t seem like he put up a front for people, but maybe the
reason Kei couldn’t get a read on Ushio’s feelings was because of
his own twisted personality.

There was a folded-up blanket resting on the downstairs sofa. It

hadn’t been there when Kei first came in.

“…Did you sleep down here?”

“Because someone had the bed all to himself.”

That was true, but it wasn’t like they couldn’t sleep next to each other
on the same bed. It didn’t bother Kei anyway… Well, he hated
cramped spaces, but they had already slept together in both senses
of the expression…
But if he were to put his hesitation into words, it would somehow
transform him.

“I don’t sleep that terribly.”

“No, no.” Ushio shook his head. “I would call it very Cirque du Soleil.”

“Liar!”

“Well, anyway. For now, I’ll say this.” Ushio suddenly clapped his
hands in a pose at Kei. “Thanks for the meal.”

“Huh?”

“Well, I didn’t think that you wouldn’t wake up~”

“Oi, what the hell did you do!?”

“Haha~”

“Oi!”

“I only marked you a little.”

“Pervert!!”

Kei looked down at his body to check himself in a panic, but he was
fully dressed and couldn’t see anything. Wha? Where the heck was
he supposed to check?

“Kidding, kidding. Obviously, I’m just joking.”

“…For real?”

“For real, for real.”

“Don’t look away when you say that!”

“Anyway, all jokes aside, I’m going to be out of the house a lot more
for a while.”

Don’t suddenly switch over to such a serious face. You have more
talent at this than I do.

“I’ll be gone on the weekends pretty much, and weekdays I’ll be out
filming from night until morning. But you can still come over if you
want.”

In other words, Ushio’s schedule during the week would be the

complete reverse of Kei’s. For the time being, Kei’s weekends were
also fully packed with parties and dinners for work—just like today.
He had the welcome and goodbye parties for each of his shows, the
ones for the news department, the ones for the news center
highlights on the daytime talk shows, a get-together for cohorts that
joined the same year of his hire, and an appreciation banquet with
outside presenters and previous producers. They were a pain in the
neck to accept, and even though it was part of his job, he thought
that the concept of “drinkommunication” was pure bullshit and he
wanted to hang the damn idiot who came up with it from a radio
tower.

Kei answered brusquely, “If I feel like it,” and went home. He took a
bath before heading out again. He checked his body just to be sure,
but there didn’t seem to be anything unusual (like kiss marks and
stuff). He sunk into the bathtub until the water reached his chin, and
he didn’t know if the sigh he released was one of relief or not.

Kei had never really liked sex that much. Why should he have to put
on an act even after he got naked? He realized that it was his own
decision to do so, but it was ridiculous and such a big hassle. It was
so much easier to stay home and get off on his own. He never really
fantasized about things like groping breasts and whatnot, and so he
never doubted his belief that nothing beat flying solo when it was
cheap, fast, and easy.
But what he had experienced with Ushio.

That heat, that desire, that intensity. His voice, his breaths, his
weight, the feeling of the sheets against his skin. It was the first time
Kei had ever had that done to him, but it wasn’t just simply the
position that blew his mind, everything about it did, and he attained
an understanding that went beyond reasoning.

So this is what sex is all about. I see.

What about you?

When you said that you could never do this with anyone else, were
you serious?

“…Ah—…”

Crap, he remembered too many things, and it made the heat go to

his head. Kei got out of the water and as he briskly dried his skin off
with a towel (apparently Ushio hadn’t done anything like he said), he
repeated over and over in his head, I’m not disappointed. I’m not.
Definitely not.

Although Kei had said, If I feel like it, the week flew by as he was
swamped to his neck in work. His work required him to throw away
and update the most important news stories in his head every day,
and it felt like time had sped by at a bizarre speed. Like it might have
accelerated his aging.

It didn’t have anything to do with his ability to go over or not, but

Ushio had said that he wouldn’t really be around. And when he had
said, You can still come over if you want, he meant it would be no
trouble if Kei came over or not. Like the chance of precipitation was
50% and Kei should decide if he wanted to bring an umbrella with
him.

Kei didn’t need an excuse, even a lie would be fine… That he

wanted Kei to come over. That he wanted to see Kei, even for a brief
visit.

Kei knew that he only needed to say I wanted to come over so I did
or I wanted to see you even for a little while, and that would solve his
problem. And he should have been the type of person who could say
those words all cool and composed. For any kind of human
relationship, he only needed to choose the right course of action that
would please the person he was dealing with, and it would all go
smoothly.

But he couldn’t do it when it came to Ushio. It wasn’t that Kei wanted

to treat him coldly or to make him feel bad, but at any rate, he
couldn’t do what he couldn’t do. Or rather, maybe he was too
inexperienced when it came to communicating with others without
any pretense and he just didn’t know how to do it.

Even though he could always do everything perfectly up until now.

Saturday was Saturday, and he wanted a damn shift schedule for all
the parties he had. After attending parties all day and all night, he
returned home irritated and exhausted and slept well past noon on
Sunday. He had a welcome-farewell party for the evening news later
that day too. Although there would be a great deal of attention paid
to the staff changes and transfers for the show, it was Kei’s sendoff
that was the main highlight of the party, which meant that he would
have flash his smile to his surroundings even more than usual and
suffer through all the alcohol that he had to pour for people and
accept in return. The only saving grace was that he could make the
excuse, I have work tomorrow, and leave in the middle of the
afterparty.

In order to reduce his work burden on Monday even a bit, he threw

himself into his morning paper reading more intently than usual. It
was impossible to predict when or what news could happen, but he
still had to put in all this work.

The bell on his intercom rang, but he ignored it because he let his
packages get dropped in the delivery locker. When he finished his
reading, he went down to get his package and saw a box from his
parents. He thought that it was pretty heavy and found 5 to 6 glass
jars inside. They were all filled to the brim with honey-soaked
kumquats, and Kei immediately called his mother and complained,
“This is way too much.”

“Your father won a huge basket of kumquats as a prize in a golf

competition. It’s supposed to be good for your throat, so make sure
you eat lots of it.”

“Uh, I can’t eat all of this. It’s too much.”

“Why don’t you share some of it with your colleagues at work or with
friends? Oh, wait, you don’t have any. Sorry about that.”

“Leave me alone!”

I do have someone, but he’s not a friend. Yeah, I could give him
some.

He was sent all these jars that he didn’t ask for and couldn’t finish
himself, so he could just use the time-old tradition of sharing it with
others. Plus, he could give something back for the rice balls that he
got earlier.

Kunieda Kei obtained an excuse! And cue the sound effects.

Even if Ushio wasn’t home, Kei could leave the jars in his refrigerator
and Ushio would probably call later to say something about it. He
decided to drop off the gift before heading to the party and went to
get ready all excited. Two jars should be good.

He carried his perfect excuse over to Ushio’s house, and this time he
had no reservations about using his spare key. He didn’t see the
owner of the house, but his shoes were there.

Then he heard a voice from upstairs.

“I know right? I’m really glad then.”

Kei softly walked over to the bottom of the stairs to listen closer, and
it was unmistakably Ushio’s voice. It seemed like he was talking to
someone on the phone again.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it… Oh? What?”

Ushio laughed.

“No way, you gotta go with the OL.”

OL? Office lady? So he’s not talking about work? He does sound a
little too happy.

“I love OLs. Like really really love them.”

…Hnnn? He’s talking about himself?

“Hmmm, they’re just a simple preference. I can’t help but get handsy.
I do sometimes regret afterwards though.”

The paper gift bag hanging in his hand suddenly felt ten times
heavier, and Kei staggered a little.
Wonderful, so you like OLs. I never knew that. Would you like to go
on a singles meetup? You can have your choice of receptionists, HR
representatives, accountants, business managers, compliance
officers, staff attorneys, and administrative assistants.

Kei tottered back over to the front door, and as he was putting his
shoes on, there were footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Huh? When did you get—”

The mellow-sounding voice was like a finger pulling the trigger, and
Kei thought that his head exploded. He gripped a jar his hand, turned
around, and chucked it at Ushio. Then the other.

“Whoa…”

The jars were heavy and weren’t moving very fast. Ushio caught one
in each hand, but everything had happened so suddenly, he was
completely taken aback.

“That’s dangerous. What’s wrong?”

“Drop dead!!” Kei yelled. “What do you mean you love OLs!? You
didn’t have to lay your fucking hands on me if you love them so
much!! Damn liar, sweet-talking me with that adding it up makes it
double bullshit!!”

Kei ran out of the house, grabbed a taxi, and gave the address to the
restaurant for the party. His voice was calm with no signs of
trembling. Pretty damn impressive, he sneered at his perfectly
trained mask.

So I’m just going to the party like this. I should just pretend to be sick
and skip it. That my stomach hurts or I have a headache.

Or that his chest was in pain.

He didn’t even say anything about dating, his aching heart
whispered. They had done it once—so he thought it wasn’t all that
good and that was enough for him, huh? Even though he had said
he was in love with Kei and had fallen for him, maybe he was just
used to saying it to pretty much anyone. Maybe the phone
conversation from the other time wasn’t related to work either.

Piece of cake? I’d totally go for it? …Who were you talking about?

No.

He wasn’t that type of guy. He definitely wasn’t that type of guy. But
everyone had inner thoughts and feelings that they would never
show to others. Kei couldn’t tell if he brought any level of objectivity
to his thoughts or if he just wanted to believe in Ushio and tried to
steer his thoughts to where he wanted them. After all, Kei knew
nothing about Ushio. There was nothing wrong with dipping a toe in
and deciding afterwards that it wasn’t what you had imagined. Speak
nothing of marriage, they hadn’t even agreed to date each other.

His thoughts and emotions felt like they had been tossed inside a
washing machine, spinning around in his head until he almost
became carsick.

This is a damn pain in the ass.

That was the only thought that Kei was certain about. Here he was,
the only one running in circles, tying himself into knots over him. If he
had chosen to stay by himself from the beginning, he wouldn’t have
wasted his time over this.

But I wouldn’t have been able to stand in the studio by myself. I

couldn’t have done it without you.

What about you?

Although Kei was in no mood to act as the guest of honor at the
banquet, ironically enough, the party was the perfect place to escape
from his thoughts. He was pretty sure that he had said “Thank you. I
really enjoyed working together” about a hundred times now. And of
course, he remembered to give a personalized comment every time
such as “Thank you for always preparing the newspapers for me” or
“You always made the cue cards easy to read.”

As he engaged a group of producers in some meaningless

conversation, the restaurant lights dimmed and the room darkened.

“Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to interrupt the lively chatter.

Announcer Kunieda, who was with our show for two years now, has
recently started a new role at another show. We would like to thank
him for all of his contributions and have prepared a brief video of his
achievements during his time with us. Let’s take a look at the video!”

“Oh, hey, it’s the centerpiece for tonight. Kunieda, you should sit
down to watch it.”

“Thank you. Oh, may I please get a copy of the DVD later?”

“I’m sure an AD has it ready for you.”

It was probably footage from when Kei first started on the show. It
wasn’t like they could compile a blooper reel because he never
made mistakes, so Kei expected it to be a dull and boring video. But
he made a face like he was looking forward to it.

Sure enough, in lieu of a screen, a clip of Kei’s first broadcast

starting playing on the restaurant wall. Cheers of “So young!” filled
the room.

Shut up, I’m still young.

Short clips played of him covering soft news stories and trying out
popular new trends, summarizing his time on the show.

See. What did I say? Even if I get the DVD, there’s no way I’ll ever
watch it.

Eventually the video cut to a new scene, and suddenly a chalkboard

appeared—a common one that could be found in any school
classroom.

What the hell is this?

White chalk lines extended on the chalkboard. Vertical lines,

horizontal lines—and all of a sudden they formed a drawing of a
television set in the center of the chalkboard. A retro-looking one
with a cathode ray tube. Real news footage of Kei played in quick
succession on the screen portion of the TV. Cherry blossoms in pink
chalk bloomed one after the other around the TV, but then before his
very eyes, they formed a drawing of a summer sky over the ocean.
The TV looked almost like a doodle, but in contrast, the background
had a depth of tone and detail. The difference made the entire
composition stand out and come to life.

“Wow.”

“This was shot one by one, adding to the drawing, wasn’t it?”

“It must have taken a ton of work. Did the ADs make this?”

“No way. They must have contracted it out somewhere.”

Somewhere.

Or someone.

Before Kei knew it, he had stood up out of his seat. The scene
changed to the colored leaves of fall, to a snowy landscape of winter,
and finally back to spring again.

“Thank you very much for the past two years. I will continue to
dedicate myself to my work as an announcer.”

When the video showed Kei’s farewell from his last broadcast, a
message appeared on the chalkboard in large hand lettering: Thank
you for the great work. Kei looked around the circle of people
applauding him, surveying the scene—searching for him.

The applause in the restaurant was very much like the applause he
had received after the premiere of the nightly news, and he knew
that this had to be an indirect present from Ushio who wasn’t here at
the party.

“And now Kunieda-san will offer a few words to everyone in

attendance.”

“Kunieda-san, please give us a few words,” an AD who came to

attend him said in a low voice.

“The video just now…”

“Oh, Tsuzuki-san was the one who made it. Could you tell that it was
him?”

“Yes.”

Of course he could tell.

“We asked him if he had any ideas to surprise you for your farewell
party, and he offered to make something for you. He said he wanted
a normal looking chalkboard for the video, so we helped secure an
empty classroom for him to use. The school was still in session
during the day, so he was only allowed to film there from night until
morning. He also handled all the editing. We gave him all the
footage, and he had free rein over the entire video. I never imagined
he would make something like that. I was really surprised.”

“Yes, I am too.”

Kei didn’t want to describe what he saw with a cheap-sounding word

like “surprise,” but he didn’t know of any word that could fully
encompass everything.

When I’m with you, there is so much I don’t know or understand.

Kei was given the microphone, and he took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, I’m a little overwhelmed at the moment, and I can’t quite
find the words that I wish to say…”

No one in the room knew this, but it was a very rare moment where
Kei truly expressed his feelings in front of others.

Kei had left his private cell phone at home, so he didn’t know if Ushio
had tried to contact him or not. But it didn’t cross his mind to stop at
home first to check it.

He went to Ushio’s house. He headed upstairs after unlocking the

door and found Ushio eating kumquats with a toothpick.

“These are really good. Where did you get them?”

“From my mom.”

“Oh, tell her thanks.”

Ushio closed the lid on the jar and turned to Kei. “So. Do you have
any questions for me?”
“What do you mean by OL?”

“Overlap,” Ushio answered easily. It was a technical editing term that

Kei knew—a dissolve that overlapped two shots. A cross fade. It
didn’t refer to what he preferred in his partners. Kei turned red in an
instant and stood as stiff as a board.

“You’re an idiot.” Ushio burst into laughter. “I was wondering what

kind of misunderstanding you had…”

“When you say OL, everyone thinks of Marunouchi, okay!?2 There’s

not even that big a difference between OL and overlap! What’s the
point of abbreviating it!? Just say it normally!!”

“I didn’t even think of women at all. I was wondering what had you so
enraged, and I couldn’t figure it out. Well, I now see how easy it is to
misunderstand the expression. That’s just too funny.”

“It’s not funny…”

Kei sat down on the bed, completely drained of strength, and Ushio
came over to sit next to him.

“Were you worried?”

“Shut up.”

“Did it really shock you?”

“Shut up.”

“I’m sorry~”

“I told you to shut up!”

So you apologize just like that? Even though you’re totally ridiculing
me while you’re at it. But you know, I was prepared to be yelled at.

“Welcome back.”

Ushio ruffled Kei’s hair. When Ushio’s fingertips brushed his

forehead, that was when Kei first noticed that Ushio’s skin there was
incredibly worn and rough.

“Oi, what’s this…?”

“Oh, it’s because I worked directly with chalk,” Ushio answered like it
was no big deal. “I tried wearing vinyl gloves first, but my fingers just
didn’t feel right in them. And they got all clammy.”

“Make sure you claim an extra fee for the trouble when you invoice
them.”

Why can I only make stupid comments like this?

“The kumquats were really good, so that’s enough for me.”

“I’m being serious here.”

“I’m the one who asked them to let me do it, and I’m supposed to
charge them for it? That’s a novel way to do business.” Ushio
chuckled wryly.

“You’re a professional. Don’t undersell yourself.”

“It’s fine. I wanted to do it, and they let me make whatever I wanted.
I’m happy enough with that.”

“It’s not fine!”

It wasn’t worth the calories to play a video like that in front of a small
company party that didn’t even have a hundred people in
attendance. Why would he put in all that work for that? Kei frowned
unhappily and didn’t say a word.

“Are you mad? Why?”

“I’m not mad.”

But maybe he was mad. It was a feeling similar to irritation, like

something was stuck in his throat and he needed to get it out.

Ushio lightly pinched Kei’s cheek with fingers that looked badly
sunburned.

“You always amaze me when I watch you. I mean, you decide you’re
going to work hard, and you do it. You’re so incredibly cool. Even
though our jobs are completely different, I don’t want to back down
either. And so I wanted to make something. Something that would
surprise you and make you happy. It was all for my own self-
satisfaction, so that’s why it’s fine.”

Kei whispered, “When I’m with you, I find myself not liking who I am.”

“Why?”

“Because I start thinking that I’m a liar, and a coward, and a stupid,
little child.”

“You’re all those things. You never realized that until now?”

“Well, excuuuse me!”

“So what? It’s fine.”

This time Ushio caressed Kei’s cheek. The skin was rough and dry,
but Kei didn’t hate it at all.

“I’ll love you two times, even ten times more to compensate.”
“Wha!!”

Kei couldn’t hold himself back and clapped Ushio’s face between
both his hands.

“Hey, that hurt.”

“Goddammit! That’s the part of you that—!! Argh, that’s the part of
you that—!!”

Somehow you’re the only one I can’t say any of these words to, not
even if I spend a hundred years trying. And you have absolutely no
trouble saying them to me.

“What? That you love?”

“Hell no!”

Kei was desperately trying to deny it, but Ushio just smiled back all
calm and unconcerned. Ushio clamped his hands over Kei’s, brought
his face up to his, and captured his lips. It tasted of honey and
kumquats.

It was like a lock had come undone inside him, and Kei could finally
spill a few honest words.

“You need your hands to do your work, right? Don’t treat them so
roughly…”

“Okay, I’ll be more careful.”

Kei closed his eyes. Ushio pressed two, three more kisses and
smoothly toppled Kei down on the bed.

From the flow of their actions, Kei had no doubt of the things to
come, but Ushio simply lay there on top of Kei, all strength drained
from his limbs, and didn’t move.

“…Oi, you’re heavy.”

“…I can’t do this…”

“What the hell do you mean!?”

“No, stupid, I’m about to fall asleep.”

Ushio barely managed to slide his body over next to Kei’s and buried
his face in a pillow.

“I’ve been pressed like crazy, finishing the filming and editing… I
can’t stay awake any longer…”

“…You’re an idiot.”

“Shut up. If I had known it would be like this, I should have just done
it when you got wasted that night. You had looked tired, but here I
am, missing out for showing some kindness…”

Ushio left a few deeply frustrated complaints, and then his breathing
gently evened out. Kei saw that Ushio had dropped off into a deep
sleep. He sat back up and said one more time for good measure,
“You’re really an idiot.” Ushio just slept. He made no reaction when
Kei picked up his hand, and so Kei placed a kiss on his fingers like a
prince.

Kei could see Ushio smirking in the morning and asking, Did you do
something? He planned to answer back, Yeah, stupid.

It would be nice if his voice could melt into Ushio’s dreams.

Good night. Thank you.

Translation Notes

This is a Russian folk song popularized in Japan called “One

Week.” Apparently, it’s not very famous in Russia, but it’s incredibly
famous in Japan. Tyurya tyurya could possibly be similar to tralala
tralala, but I also saw that tyurya is a traditional bread soup?
Marunouchi is the biggest office district in Tokyo.

Story 2: FOOLS RUSH IN

Author’s Note: It’s fun to have the three chatter and banter together.
Spoilers for Side Profiles and Irises Volume 2
But what would happen now with Nacchan thrown in the mix? If
Ushio and Nacchan fell asleep together, Tatsuki would probably go
“Oi, oi, oi~!” and that would be it, but Kunieda-san would likely
explode in a fit of anger.

Illustrator’s Note: Announcer Kunieda is standing in front of a screen

showing weather conditions for the town (at night), and there is also
some kind of murder crime scene that happened. Ichiho-sensei
complimented me on the Tokyo Tower, and that made me super
satisfied. I also loved drawing the long cat.

First published in 2015 in the doujinshi FOOLS RUSH IN.

Translator Note: This story takes place after Volume 2 of “Yes, No, or
Maybe Half?” and after the doujinshi story “Imitation Gold.”

Part 1: FOOLS RUSH IN

When he woke up, the ceiling was farther away than usual. Hnn? He
stirred in his sleeping position, but the squeaking sound of his
clothing against the cushioning underneath him told him that he
wasn’t in bed. The view of his surroundings did look familiar,
however— Oh, this was just the first floor. He had fallen asleep on
the sofa. Thank god it was a season he couldn’t catch a cold out
here.

Why am I downstairs? He tried to put his brain into full operation, but
he had a splitting headache like a metal ball had gouged itself into
his forehead. He slowly sat up and was hit by a dizzy spell. This was
without a doubt a hangover. He tried to search his memory banks.
The latter half of the night had turned all fuzzy, but this was Ushio’s
house. There was nothing to worry about. If there had been a third
party with them, he would never drink all night until the next morning.
Even if he had lost all faculty over his sense and reason, he would
never run amok and wreak havoc. He was Kunieda-san after all.

Anyway, where was Ushio? Did the fact that he was sleeping alone
downstairs signify that a terrible fight had broken out between them
or something? —If that had happened, Kei was sure he would
remember something like that. The only thing he could truly confirm
was a calendar that showed that today was Sunday. Well, whatever,
he just had to ask and find out. As Kei climbed each step of the
stairs still feeling woozy, weirdly the dull pain inside his head swelled
and receded in time with his feet. This was probably the first terrible
hangover he had ever had in his life. He seriously drank far too much
last night. There shouldn’t have been anything particularly good or
particularly bad that had caused him to drink so heavily.

“Oi—”

Ushio was sleeping peacefully with a throw blanket over him. That
part of it was fine. But there was another human-shaped lump
distinctly sharing the thin blanket with him on the bed. And scattered
on the ground was very obviously more than one set of clothing.

“Nn~… Ah…”
The interloper slowly opened his eyes, fixing his focus on Kei, as he
let out a loud yawn.

“Ah, Paisen, good morning~”

Kei took a deep breath and smiled. Then he used his well-trained
vocal cords and screeched, “What the fuuuuuuuuckkkkk!?”

“…I just felt the entire house shake. Scary.”

“I feel like Kunieda-san’s shrieks could even wake up Higurashi-san.”

“Who’s Higurashi-san?”

“You know, on Kochikame…”1

“Ohhh.”

Ushio and Tatsuki were just chatting nonchalantly in the same bed.

In the same bed!!

“Who the fuck cares!?”

“Oi, stop yelling. People are going to think I’m keeping Godzilla as a
pet.”

“Why the hell are you two sleeping together in just your underwear!?”

They seemed to have finally realized the condition of their attire, or

lack thereof, after Kei pointed it out to them. They both uttered a
Huh? in unison, and their synchronicity made Kei’s anger flare up
again.
“Ah—…” Tatsuki scratched the side of his stomach. “Tsuzuki-san,
were you gentle with me?”

“Hmm, I can’t be sure that I was.”

“Okay, you’re dead.”

“Wha, wait, wait, Senpai! You have a crazed look in your eyes.”

Tatsuki retreated back against the wall, probably detecting the

impending danger to his person, and babbled, “Nothing happened!”

He paused and continued, “Well, honestly, I don’t remember

anything from last night. Why were we sleeping together anyway?”

“I have no memory of last night either.”

Even Ushio said something utterly unhelpful. Kei glanced over at the
sink and saw empty cans of beer, empty cans of chuhai, and empty
bottles of wine, whiskey, and shochu. Huh? Did three of them really
drink all that last night? Scary.

“Oh, hmm, so maybe we did…? Maybe I should have you take

responsibility for it~”

“Is that really what you want?”

“Well, you never know what life brings you, you know~? You like me
quite a bit, don’t you, Tsuzuki-san~?”

“Quite a bit? Well, if I have to choose between like and hate, I would
say that I like you.”

“But that would make you like everyone in the world, I feel like~”

“I don’t know. Aren’t you the same?”

“Oh, that’s true. We have a lot in common~ Maybe we would be
good for each other? Maybe we should be a couple?”

“Oi.”

His voice could be raised from the depths of hell, if Kei could say so
himself.

“What the hell are you chattering about? I’ll smash a wine bottle over
your head.”

“Geez, Kunieda-san, don’t get so worked up~ It would never

happen.”

Kei knew that.

“If we were gonna do it, it’d be weird if it’s not a threesome~”

“You’re the fucking weird one!”

“So where did you end up sleeping?” Ushio asked.

“…Downstairs.”

“Oh, my~” Tatsuki commented.

“Don’t give me that look of pity!”

“Hmm~ How about we try to figure out what happened last night?”
Tatsuki suggested, squirming around as he put his clothes on. “Let’s
see… I suggested that we stay in and drink, so I arrived here at 7
last night.”

That was right. Ushio had suggested that they treat Tatsuki to a meal
for all the worry they had caused him with Kei’s amnesia incident
(not that they needed to). Kei didn’t want to go out to eat, so they
agreed to meet at Ushio’s house. Tatsuki had laughed when he saw
Kei, “I can’t believe that’s what you normally wear at home, Kuneida-
san,” and their little party kicked off.

“…And then?”

“We just had normal, harmless conversations, right?”

So how did things end up this way in the morning? Was it just simply
they got hot after all the drinking, and they took off their clothes
before falling asleep? Then why was Kei the only one downstairs…?
The three of them sat around on the floor with their arms crossed,
and Ushio let out an “Ah.”

“There’s that. How could we forget?”

Ushio pointed at a small video camera sitting on the folding table that
he had set up for the party (more or less).

“Oh, your GoPro. I remember that we talked about you buying it.”

“Yeah, yeah, Ol’ Nishikido-san was nice enough to recommend it.”

“Oh, a GoPro~ So cool~ Got any sex tapes on here?”

“Nope, I just got it in the other day.”

“Don’t say it like you plan on filming some!”

“Oh, you want to film one now? I’ll man the camera~”

“Shut up!!”

“Can I take a look at it? …Whoa, this is tiny! It’s so light. I want to try
strapping it on my head for a skydiving segment or something~”
“Yeah, yeah, you should do it. With no parachute.”

“Huh, are you telling me to die?”

Now Kei remembered. He was pretty sure a conversation like that

had happened.

“Hmm, I remember filming something last night.”

“Which means…”

Three sets of eyes fixed their gazes on the hand-sized camera.

“There’s footage of me and Tsuzuki-san…”

“There’s no fucking way!!”

Kei smacked the back of Tatsuki’s head. Even if it was a joke, what
pissed him off pissed him off. Ushio checked the camera and said,
“Oh, there’s something on here.” He went downstairs to retrieve his
laptop and played the footage for them on a large monitor. Kei knew
that there was really, really no way that they had done it, but he had
no recollection of his own behavior last night. His heart was racing,
and before he knew it he had reached out to pause the video.

“What are you doing?”

“…What would you do if you weren’t really thinking but you got to
second base?”

“Second base?”
“That pretty much applies to me and Paisen, so now we’re all even.
Like the separation of powers of the three branches or something?
It’s all good~”

Everything was nonsense and lies coming out of his mouth.

“What he said.”

“Nothing happened back then, okay!?”

“Anyway, it’s faster to check the physical evidence instead of sitting

around speculating. If you’re too scared, you don’t have to watch.”

If he was going to say that, then not watching was obviously far
scarier. Kei pressed the play button himself. The three of them
leaned in towards the liquid crystal display.

“…No, wro~ng!”

The video started with his own voice.

“You’re rea~lly terrible at thi~s… Now wa~tch! This is a chopstick

shot! You gotta bring it up to your face without blocking yourself. And
viewers can get a feel for how big it actually is.”

For some reason, Kei was stressing this importance while holding a
piece of tuna sashimi (if he remembered correctly, Tatsuki had
bought it at a department store food hall) with his chopsticks.

“Then when you go to ta~ste it, you have to put it all in your mouth,
and if it’s too big, you have to calculate beforehand which part you
want to bite into. Grains can dry out your mouth and make it difficult
to speak, so I always take a much smaller bite than you’d expect.
Got it? …Let’s go ahead and try a pie~ce.”
Kei faced the camera and in went the sashimi. He looked completely
smashed.

“…Oh yes, it’s very fresh with a wonderful richness from the fat. …
Okay, this, this is where you’re really tested. If you give your
impressions right after you start chewing, people are gonna think you
haven’t even tasted the food, but if you take too much time enjoying
yourself, the viewers are gonna get restless. You need to be
persuasive, but you gotta get the timing down so you don’t get yelled
at for being a time stealer. Laugh at a second, and you’ll cry in a
second.”

“Oh~ This is totally useful~ Totally useful~”

Tatsuki roared with laughter in the background.

“Let’s make this into a DVD~”

“What do we do for bonus footage?”

“Behind-the-scenes shots of Announcer Kunieda~”

“We’re not making a damn DVD!!!”

“…Looks like Master’s giving us a lecture on how to do a tasting

report.”

“Quit it! When you call me “Master,” it sounds like a seedier part of
the industry!”

“Okay, Big Brother, then~”

“There’s no difference, dammit.”

It seemed like Ushio had been filming on and off over the night, and
the footage cut out. The next shot was of Kei wobbling on his feet
saying, “Bathroom…,” as he disappeared downstairs. There was
some chatting for a while—things just to fill the time.

“…Kunieda-san’s taking his time, huh?”

“I’ll go check on him.”

Ushio placed the camera on the table. He went downstairs and

returned pretty quickly.

“He’s passed out on the sofa.”

“Should we carry him up?”

“No, he’s sleeping pretty well. He’ll probably complain if we wake him
up, so let’s just leave him there.”

The camera sat at an angle that showed both Ushio and Tatsuki in
the shot. Tatsuki then suddenly started humming.

“Luululu, lulululuululu, lulululuuluuluuluulu~ …We have the filmmaker

Tsuzuki Ushio-san as our special guest today. Hello, good
afternoon.”

So he’s Tetsuko now?2

“Oh, good afternoon.”

“I’ve heard some rumors on the grapevine that you’re quite an

amazing person. I believe that you’re dating a TV announcer? Oh my
goodness~”

“It annoys me how much you sound like her…”

“Uh, you’re really asking that right off the bat?”

“I would love to hear what kind of person they are.”

“Let’s see, I would say they don’t hide anything behind a mask…”

“Goodness~ Now that’s a big, fat lie~ Let’s go to a quick commercial

break.”

These two chuckleheads were such gigantic buffoons. Ushio went

up to the camera, and the screen went dark. Apparently he had
stopped the recording, but it wasn’t the last of the video.

They loaded the next one.

The camera showed an empty shot of the floor. Only the bottom part
of the bed was visible in the frame, and no one was around,
however…

There was the sound of a very familiar creaking over the speakers.

And then.

“…Here, like this.”

It was Ushio’s voice.

“—Nnhh…”

Followed by Tatsuki’s voice. The hangover sickness occupying Kei’s

skull cleared up in an instant, but he didn’t feel any better.
Oi, oi, oi. What the hell? What was with the strained, labored
voices!?

“How does this feel?”

The bed creaked uncomfortably, and Tatsuki’s voice went up in pitch.

“Oh…”

It couldn’t have happened, right? Kei felt like he would lose all his
strength in his wrists and elbows resting against the floor. No, no, no,
no, it couldn’t be, it couldn’t be, it couldn’t be. What should he do?
He didn’t want to see it, but his voice didn’t work and his body
wouldn’t move.

“Oh… Owww—!!”

Kei heard Tatsuki’s voice screaming loudly.

“Ow! Ow! That hurts four times more than I had imagined!”

“You apply pressure to the ankle and the pain goes right to the shin.
Hurts, right? But if your opponent flips you over like this, it reverses
the direction of the pain back to yourself, so you gotta be careful.”

“Oh, now I remember,” Tatsuki said. “I said I couldn’t execute a

figure-four leglock very well, so Tsuzuki-san showed me how to do it.
We tried to film it, but we totally messed up the shot.”

“And this is why camera rehearsals are important.”

“Yup~”

The two of them nodded at each other, and Kei smacked the back of
their heads one after the other.

“Don’t do something so misleading!!”

“Wha? Kunieda-san, don’t tell me you were thinking of something
dirty again~? Maybe you’re feeling sexually frustrated?”

“No, I’m pretty sure he should be good.”

“You two can shut your mouths.”

“Now I’m all hot after that exercise.”

“Oh, how about we play a stripping game~?”

“Do we really get anything out of it if it’s just the two of us?”

“No, no, but it’s pretty fun. I have an app that shows hard-to-
pronounce phrases at random, and if you mess up, you have to take
something off.”

“That puts you at an overwhelming advantage.”

“It really does~ I played it the other day, and the girl ended up
completely naked with just a scrunchie around her wrist~”

“Wouldn’t you normally take the scrunchie off first?”

After bantering back and forth, they started playing the game in the
end.

“North Korean cargo-passenger ship Man Gyong Bong.”

“Laparoscopic surgery.”

“First domestically-produced passenger jet aircraft.”

“Kyary Pamyu Pamyu.”

“Sodium-cooled fast reactor Monju.”

They were already slurring their words, and they immediately tripped
over the phrases. Every time it happened, they would laugh like
idiots and strip off a piece of clothing. T-shirts, belts, and socks fell
and littered the floor.

“New Year’s Chanshon Show, ahh…”

“You tripped up. New Year’s Chanson Show. Oh, I got it. I win.”

“Wha~? I heard a tiny bit of a slip-up on Chanson just now~!”

“Nope, I got it… Anyway.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sleepy.”

“Oh, me too~ I’m totally about to crash~”

“Let’s sleep?”

“Sure~”

Ushio’s feet padded across the floor. He picked up the camera and
turned it off. There were no ending scenes or credits, just the end.

“Yeahhh, alcohol’s pretty scary stuff, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Morons…”
Kei didn’t have the energy to snap a witty retort (well, he was glad
that nothing had happened), and he collapsed weakly on the floor. It
was all so stupid.

Tatsuki went home. Kei felt like his hangover had lifted, but he drank
a bunch of water anyway and crawled into bed. He was exhausted
from the godawful commotion at the crack of dawn.

“Oi~” Ushio peered down at him.

“I’m sleeping. I’m sleeping to make up for all the hours you left me
alone on the sofa.”

“I could have carried you up, but I was afraid of dropping you on the
stairs. Would you have preferred if I tied your hands and feet to a
pole and had Minagawa help carry you?”

You want to carry me like you’re going to roast me on a spit?

“Shut up.”

“What are you angry about?”

“Nothing.”

“Oi, don’t tell me that you seriously think something happened

between me and Minagawa.”

“…Well, you did say that you liked him if you had to pick one.”

“You know if you say that, the list would be endless.”

“Oh, so I see. You like everyone and anyone, don’t you?”

“Well, there are all different ways of liking people. Don’t you have all
different ways that you hate them?” Ushio smiled wryly. “It’s not that
I’m a good person. Plenty of people annoy and bother me, but the
box that I reserve for my hate is incredibly small, and I don’t feel the
need to put people in it if I don’t have to.”

The hand that reached out to touch Kei’s cheek felt strangely ice-
cold.

“Because when I hate someone, I really, truly hate them.”

Kei looked at Ushio, but Ushio didn’t seem like he was looking at
Kei.

“They could die and I wouldn’t feel a thing. That’s how deep my
hatred is.”

Kei’s hands moved on their own to cover Ushio’s mouth. It surprised

Ushio, and he mumbled a “What?” Kei was relieved to feel warmth in
his breath.

“…Don’t say something like that,” Kei muttered.

“Even though you’re always saying stuff like that?”

“Yeah, I say it. I’ll say it now, and I’ll keep saying it. But not you. Don’t
say it.”

Because you don’t feel any weight lift off of your shoulders when you
say it, do you? But it’s not like I know who’s inside that small box of
yours.

“…So selfish.”

Ushio caught Kei’s wrists and laughed. Lips pressed down on his
own, and Kei quietly accepted them.
They tangled their lips for a while, and Kei complained, “I said I’m
sleepy.”

Ushio gently nibbled his ear and whispered, “My pride’s on the line. I
have to work harder after hearing that sexually frustrated comment.”

“I wasn’t the one who said it…”

But the hands rolling up his T-shirt no longer felt cold. His chest filled
with a heat hotter than his body, and when Ushio rubbed his nipples,
they pebbled under his fingers.

“Nn—”

Redder and harder, the fingertips teased him, showing just how
sensitive he was there, the lust and pulses carving all throughout his
body. Ushio ran his tongue around the tender edge of a nipple and
caught the aroused little nub between his lips.

“Ahh.”

Ushio sucked hard at the spot, and Kei’s body naturally curved
upwards, familiar with the pleasure, begging for his touch. However,
Ushio only followed the curve, tracing the dip along his back, the
sensation different from what Kei had expected, toying with him. All
of a sudden he sank into the sheets again, the supports holding him
gone, and Ushio worshipped his body with his fingers and tongue.

“Nnh, nghh, ah, ah…”

Ushio bared him from the waist down, just like his chest, exposing
his arousal as fingers found their target with soft and hard strokes.
Kei was steeped in a desire that filled him inside and out, but a
sense of something different, something out of place creeped into a
corner of his mind.
It felt like Ushio was orchestrating something, leaning excessively
back towards the wall against the bed. It wasn’t just him being
careful, trying to avoid putting too much of his weight on Kei. He was
spreading his body at an unnatural angle, almost like he was putting
him on display for someone—

His eyes met with another’s. It wasn’t human; it was the camera lens
that sat on top of the table where they had left it. It was placed at
more of an angle than before, probably capturing the full shot of the
bed from a slightly low angle… If it was on. The word “sex tape”
floated ominously into his mind. Kei had thought that Tatsuki’s dirty
jokes were only just tongue-in-cheek, but…

“…Oi.” Kei grabbed Ushio’s shoulder and grilled him. “The camera’s
not recording, right?”

Ushio said nothing for a full five seconds and flashed him a grin. “Of
course not.”

“It’s recording, isn’t it!?!?”

“It’s not, it’s not.”

“You’re lying—”

That was when Kei realized something and cut off his words.

“Oh, I got it.”

“What?”

“You’re really not recording anything, you’re just pretending you are
so that you can trick me. The red light’s not even on. The power’s
off.”

“You figured it out, huh?”

“Don’t think you can always mess with me.”

Kei basked in his victory, gloating, “In your face,” and Ushio ran his
hands up the side of Kei’s torso, giving a much different smile than
before.

“Well, it’s easy enough to turn off the light in the settings.”

“…Huh?”

“You don’t want the reflection when you’re filming glass or

something, right? Cameras are so nice and convenient nowadays~”

“…Hey, hold on.”

Kei tried to push himself up from the bed, but his arms were pinned
to the sheets.

“I told you, it’s not recording. You said it yourself. I’m just teasing you
by pretending that it is.”

“Let me go check it!”

“No way,” Ushio declared heartlessly and devoured Kei’s lips once
again—as if he was showing them off to someone.

A perfectly circular, artificial eye sat housed in a rectangular body

with rounded corners. It was highly polished, illuminating a rainbow
ring similar to a human iris in the low light. It captured the precise
details of the world more brilliantly, and therefore more cruelly, than
the human eye ever could.

For example, this scene of himself with his legs splayed in the air,
swallowing a man’s cock inside of him.
“Nnhh… Ah, aaah.”

He was liable to forget that this was even happening, but the sound
attacked his ears. That was why at the very least he tried to keep his
voice restrained, but then Ushio promptly and relentlessly tortured
the spot that made him lose all control of himself.

“No! Noo, stop… the camera… nghh.”

“There’s nothing to stop, okay?”

Ushio lifted Kei’s leg by the wall—in other words, the one furthest
away from the camera—raised it up high, and poured his thrusts and
pleasure where they were connected.

“Like I said, it’s not recording.”

“You’re lying… Ngh, ahh, nghh!”

The hard tip of Ushio’s cock nudged mischievously at his inner walls,
the spot where he throbbed and ached, drowning him in pleasure.
Ushio attacked it again and again, his thrusts growing harder and
stronger, and Kei could do nothing as his upper and lower mouths
moaned shamefully.

“Aaah… Ah, ah.”

“You know…”

Kei had already come once, but his cock hardened once again and
drooled under Ushio’s touch. Ushio teased the reddened little head
and continued, “You’re really turned on by this.”

“Stupid, I’m not… ngh.”

“Really? Your body seems happier than usual— Like right here.”
Ushio pinched a nipple, almost translucent with fire.

“Nooo.”

“I did think it would be harder to do this with one hand occupied, but
maybe a handheld is the way to go? Yeah, there will be some blurry
shots, but it does make it feel more real.”

Ushio thrust into Kei with quick, short strokes and added,
“Hypothetically speaking, of course,” sending Kei into another panic.

“And I’m not recording.”

What was really the truth? Kei couldn’t think about the question at
the moment. Ushio was right though. Just the hard light from the tiny
lens scorched him, plunging his body into a deeper ecstasy than
normal.

“Ahhh…”

The thing driven deep and full inside of him started pulling out with
ease.

“Noo—”

His hole showed its displeasure by clenching up tight, and Kei could
tell he was completely smeared with lube down there. Ushio turned
Kei’s body sideways, held up his knees, and thrust in from behind
him.

“Aaaahh…!”

Ushio couldn’t thrust as hard in this position, but now Kei was spread
wide open in direct sight of the camera, and his embarrassment
skyrocketed.
“No, don’t!”

“Why not?”

The cock skillfully exploited Kei’s weak spot, making him moan so
sweetly, even his sense of hearing seemed to cease functioning.

“Because it’s capturing it.”

“Capturing what?”

“The place…where you’re entering me… ngh.”

The place where he accepted Ushio, spreading him full and huge,
his rim needy and obscene rubbing up together.

“It’s not a big deal, is it?” Ushio whispered, running the tip of his nose
behind Kei’s ear. “I’m the only one who will watch it. I’ll never let
anyone see it.”

“Noo—”

“I’ll watch it when I’m lonely and you’re not around, with my
headphones on. And I’ll zoom in on all the different places watching
you.”

Ushio used his fingertips to tell Kei where all those different places
were. Places he had only let Ushio touch.

“Ahh— Noo… Nnngh!”

“I’ll replay it a hundred times, two hundred times, memorizing your

voice, your face, everything.”

“No, I said you can’t.”

“Really?”
Kei couldn’t answer the question with Ushio rocking into him. He
didn’t even know if he was filming him or not. Or if Kei really hated it
or not. Ushio could be ravishing him over and over again with his
eyes, even after he finished fucking him.

“Ah— Ah, aaah… I’m gonna… ahhh…”

“Go ahead. Come all you want. But don’t shoot all the way to the
camera.”

“Stupid…”

He wouldn’t shoot all the way there, but when he imagined white
spunk covering the clear lens of that eye, it felt so dirty—he felt so
dirty—and it thrilled him so much that he shuddered.

When Kei got out of the shower, the camera was already put away,
and now it was Ushio’s turn to shower. Kei started his search without
bothering to dry his hair. Where was it? Kei hadn’t taken long to
finish his shower, so Ushio couldn’t have had time to hide it
anywhere elaborate. Kei did think that maybe Ushio had already
moved the data over to his computer, but if he did, he would have left
the camera out.

He checked under the bed, the closet, the refrigerator… Found it. It
was above the sink in a cabinet where Ushio kept the pots and
colanders jumbled together.

He checked the display on the back of the camera, and it was

paused on a shot of Ushio. It was self-shot with him facing the
camera, so it couldn’t have been from when they were having sex.

Kei pressed the touch panel to replay the video.

Ushio opened his mouth.

“Oi, what are you expecting, pervert? I told you I wasn’t recording it.”

“…Dammit, you piss me off…!!”

But his heart was stolen by the all too knowing smile on the screen,
and he stared up at the ceiling in frustration.

Why do I always fall for everything he does?

In more ways than one, even.

Ushio spoke as Kei searched for the delete button.

“Even without filming any of it, I remember everything.”

…That’s scary.

But, yeah, I remember everything too.

And Kei could hear his boyfriend humming happily all the way from
the bathroom.

Translation Notes

Kochikame is comedy manga about police officers stationed in

front of a park. Higurashi-san is a patrol officer who is always asleep.
Kuroyanagi Tetsuko is the host of the long-running talk show
Tetsuko’s Room. The show is the first talk show on Japanese
television, and it’s still running today.
Part 2: Good Night, My Kitten

Side: Ushio

Ushio fundamentally had no need for an alarm clock. No matter what

time he fell asleep, he would always wake up around the same time.
Well, more like he was woken up. His fluffy living alarm clock would
climb up onto his chest and push his paws into his face. Like
stamping paw prints onto him.

“Yes, yes, morning~ Thank you.”

When Ushio tickled the cat under his chin, he would gnaw on his
finger and demand, Hurry up and gimme food! Ushio made his own
breakfast and poured out some kibble into a cat bowl. Light glinted in
the calculating eyes, growing wide open as soon as he heard the
sound of the food.

It wasn’t good for discipline, but Ushio would place the bowl on the
table, and they would eat together with the cat in his lap. Ushio had
to work around the cat with his plate and utensils, and it felt all stiff
sitting with his legs closed, but this was how his cat wanted to eat so
what could he do? His cat was a bit of a glutton, always interested in
human food, but when Ushio would warn him, “No, you can’t,” he
would obey him more or less. Sometimes Ushio would give him a
little bit of bonito flakes or cheese to keep him from acting out.

“Okay, time to eat~”

“Meow.”

Sounds of crunching accompanied the view of the breakfast table as

the back of the little head greedily devoured his food next to a mug
of coffee and a plate of toast.
“Whoops, sorry.”

Crumbs had slipped between Ushio’s fingers and fell on the top of
the cat’s head.

“Mrow!”

“I got it off, I got it off. Oh, it’s supposed to rain this afternoon.”

Ushio talked to his cat as he watched the weather forecast, and the
cat answered with a brief, “Meow.”

“I also have a meeting here at two. People from the production

company are coming over.”

“Meow meow.”

“Oh yeah, I have a package from Amazon arriving this morning. Sign
and accept it for me, okay?”

“Mraw!”

“I know, I know, there’s no way you can do it~”

Ushio cleared the table, cleaned, and did the laundry—taking care of
the chores around the house. When he turned on the vacuum
cleaner, the cat escaped into the bathroom and wouldn’t come out.
He seemed to really hate the sound. Ushio was curious how he
would react if he were to get a Roomba.

After the chores, Ushio went downstairs to work. The cat would
sleep in his lap, sleep at his feet, sleep on the desk, or sleep on top
of his keyboard. Whichever he did, he was always in the way. If
Ushio tried to force him to move, he would sulk and roll back and
forth on the floor endlessly. Eventually he would lie spread out on the
floor and fall asleep. When he woke up, he would sometimes go
upstairs and watch TV. He would use his front paws to push and
handle the remote, and then he would sit in front of the screen and
meow in the pauses between the people talking. Ushio had no idea
how much the cat understood, but when he had enough, he would
always remember to turn the TV off.

At 2 pm, the guests arrived as planned, and the cat met them at the
door, his tail raised straight in the air.

“Omigod, so cute! Is he a boy? He’s so well-behaved~! And looks so

smart too.”

“Yeah, there are times I feel like we might actually be holding a

conversation.”

“Really? Hello there~”

“Meoww.”

“Oh, he really replied! He’s so cute!”

When people were over, he would act all prim and proper, but the
moment they left, he would groom himself furiously, angry and
kicking at the sofa cushions. Maybe he hated being petted or the
smell of people’s perfume, but the cat generally didn’t like humans
as a whole. And yet, whenever there were people around, he would
act all friendly around them. He was really strange. Maybe he
understood what his duty was as a cat.

“Oi, I never said you had to entertain them, you know. If you don’t
like it, you could just stay upstairs.”

“Meoww, meooow, meoww.”

“Ahh, don’t sharpen your claws there, you’ll ruin it.”

Ushio did some more work, and they ate dinner together. When
Ushio spent the full day at home, he would match the cat’s schedule
and have two meals for the day. He would drink coffee and snack on
cookies and things in between.

Ushio left the dishes for tomorrow morning and went back to his
work. His cat wasn’t there next to him, but Ushio could feel the small
living presence behind him at his back. No matter how focused on
his work Ushio became, that was the one thing that never vanished
—and it never bothered Ushio.

It was late at night when Ushio finally finished up the project he had
been working on for the past month. All that was left was minor
adjustments and final checks from the client.

“Kei, come here.”

The cat sounded like a toy as he rushed over with light little steps
and jumped onto Ushio. Ushio stroked his chin, his temples, and his
back—soothing his own eyes and hands that had been handling
hard materials all day.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

The cat silently plopped his head onto the desk, gazing at the
computer monitor. Ushio played the video for him that he had just
finished. Prior to delivering his projects, the one he would show his
work to before anyone else in the world was always this cat. It was
strange, but whenever Ushio stayed up until morning, pushing
through the final stretch, the cat would never go to sleep. He
wouldn’t meow; he wouldn’t bother Ushio. He just waited quietly for
him at a distance where they could still feel each other there—until
Ushio was done.

Ushio never looked at the expression he was making, watching the

back of the cat’s head backlit by the monitor. Sometimes, his ears
would twitch. He was sure the colors and light reflected in the round
cat eyes moving around in circles had to be beautiful.
Ushio climbed into bed when the sky started getting light out. The cat
curled up next to him, sneaking in from behind the pillow, his body
soft and warm.

“Good night.”

“Mya.”

Maybe the cat was extremely sleepy, but his response was cut off
and quiet. Ushio heard the whistles of light breathing like a broken
recorder.

Ushio tried imagining what the cat would be like if he were human.
He felt like their lives wouldn’t be very different from what it was now.

Side: Kei

Lick, lick, lick, lick. The tongue would come and lick him relentlessly
on the cheek every morning, and Kei thought about grating wasabi
or ginger with it one of these days.

“…Stop it. What if you ruin my skin, huh?”

Kei pushed the face roughly out of the way and got out of bed. As he
ate a cracked raw egg over rice for breakfast, he called out “Oi” at
the cat eating from a bowl at his feet.

“You went out again yesterday, didn’t you? I told you to stop breaking
out of the apartment.”
When Kei went out to go to work, the cat would also go out of the
apartment. Kei made sure to close and lock the doors, but the cat
would always undo the sash lock on the kitchen window, open it, and
leave. Kei had no way of knowing where he could have wandered off
to, but by the time Kei returned home, the cat would be back and the
window would be closed. However, the cat couldn’t turn the lock
back, so it was always unlocked. It was just a small window for light
and ventilation, so there were no security problems to worry about
though. Maybe he should install a security camera next time.

“I’m gonna put iron bars up one of these days.”

The cat swayed his tail at Kei as if he were replying to him. Go

ahead, go ahead, he seemed to say, and it pissed Kei off. His cat
never meowed. Maybe that was what he felt like, or maybe he was
born unable to meow. Sometimes he would make rumbling sounds
from his throat though.

However, even without the use of his voice, his cat was plenty
eloquent, using the movement of his tail, his facial expressions, and
gestures to tell Kei his feelings and demands. Most of the time, he
treated Kei as if he were an idiot—that was the feeling that Kei got.
After getting back from work annoyed and irritated, Kei would curse
and rant to himself at home, and the cat would jump onto the back of
the sofa and place his front paws on his shoulder. Kei felt like the cat
was reining him in and saying, Now, now, calm down. Sometimes
Kei seriously thought about finding him an animal talent agency and
have him earn some money while he was at it, but he feared that the
cat would probably feign ignorance in front of the cameras and
cause him all sorts of embarrassment instead.

At the network, Kei was making useless small talk when the
conversation turned to cats. Kei commented, “I have a cat,” and the
person latched onto the topic.
“Oh, I have a cat too~ I just love her~ Whenever I get super busy,
she’ll come to me wanting attention. I do get a little fed up
sometimes, but it’s just so nice and soothing whenever she’s with
me, and she’s just so cute.”

“They are, aren’t they.”

Kei smiled and made agreeable comments where it was appropriate,

but he thought that she was completely wrong. His cat wasn’t cute,
he didn’t come looking for attention, and it never felt nice and
soothing at all. It was the opposite in fact.

Kei returned home, and sure enough, the window lock was undone.
The cat seemed to say, Hey, as he wound himself between Kei’s
legs, his little body cool to the touch.

“You little rascal—…”

Kei drew a bath. He sat in the bathtub reading the script for
tomorrow’s assignment, using the cover of the bathtub as a desk.
That was when the folding door pushed open, and the cat jumped up
towards Kei.

“What?”

The cat said nothing. He just spread himself out on the bathtub cover
making himself at home. Kei was annoyed, and he splashed a little
water at the cat. The cat just carefully shook the water off and used
his front paws to turn the water control lever down to 35°C before
bounding out of the bathroom.1

What’s that all about, you crafty little hellcat?

When Kei got into bed, a lump of fur crept around by his feet.
Eventually he crawled up from under the covers and poked his face
out by the pillow. Whenever he did that, his eyes always seemed to
say, Hey, I’m here.

When Kei returned home from work, he was always relieved to see
that his cat was there, and then he would want to curse himself out.
Why should he care if this damn cat was here or not?

It was easy enough to replace the window lock to something that

couldn’t be opened, but even if he did that, this cat would probably
out of nowhere just disappear. If Kei were to seriously try to confine
him, he would probably never come back.

“Oi, Ushio.”

Kei grabbed the back of his neck and warned him.

“I’m the one giving you a home here, okay? I give you water and
keep you fed. If you wander around outside, you could be hit by a
car, attacked by nasty stray cats, or even get sick. Do you
understand?”

A warm but rough tongue licked his cheek.

Dammit, I told you to stop that.

“…You’re just a little creature who can’t live without me, you know.”

Lick, lick, lick, lick. Maybe he was saying, Yes, yes, okay. Or, That’s
what you think. He really pissed Kei off.

Kei tried imagining what this cat would be like if he were human. He
would probably annoy and piss him off more than he did now, so Kei
thought he was probably better off as a cat.
Story 3: sugar me

Author’s Note: It was really fun to write something with a touch of

Halloween spookiness! I had written this before “Where Home Is,” so
I don’t think I had thought much about anything yet while I hinted at a
bunch of things laden with meaning.

Illustrator’s Note: On the original cover, there is a mouse pointer

cursor slightly above and to the left of Tsuzuki-san (small), and it
actually points to Kunieda-san’s tail. In the end, he could be a devil
or a vampire. Hang in there, Tsuzuki-san. Anyway, that mouse
pointer was something stupid that I had fixated on a lot.

First published in 2015 in the doujinshi sugar me.

Translator Note: This story takes place after Volume 2 of “Yes, No, or
Maybe Half?” during Halloween. The mouse pointer is removed on
the color reprint of the doujinshi cover, but it really does appear on
the original.

Part 1: sugar me

If Kei had to choose if he would rather emcee a wedding or attend as

a guest, he would have a hard time coming up with an answer.
Participating as the emcee meant that he could bypass the tradition
of gifting cash to the newly-wedded couple, plus he received a
handsome fee for his services—however, there were also a lot of
meetings and preparations he needed to do beforehand, and on the
day of the reception, he couldn’t let his guard down as he was
constrained for hours on end, and he couldn’t even drink or eat very
much the entire time. Attending as a guest (as long as they didn’t
ask him to give a speech) involved no work, but he had part with his
money.
He would probably have to go with the latter. But it would be much
less stressful if he could completely separate his work from his
private life. That way he wouldn’t have to have people coming up to
him and asking for an autograph or a handshake in between
scheduled events.

“Excuse me, are you Kunieda-san? I always watch you on the

news!”

“Thank you very much. Oh, it looks like the bouquet toss will be
starting.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the bouquet toss. All the
single ladies, please head over this way!”

Kei gave a little nod with one hand holding a champagne glass filled
with sparkling water and casually distanced himself before she could
ask anything else. Today was the wedding ceremony for a junior
announcer whom Kei had worked with during his evening news
days. He married someone outside of the industry, which meant the
guests on the bride’s side were really irritating.

“I have a younger cousin who wants to become a TV announcer.

Could I ask you for some advice I could give her?”

Oi, quit following me. Let me cut to the chase— You need looks,
connections, and a good personality. Done.

“Networks look for different things that they want in announcers

every year, so it is hard to say… Oh, there’s still space in the front
over there for the bouquet toss.”

“Oh, it’s fine, I’m not interested in it~”

Yeah, the bouquet’s not interested in you either.

But Kei had to make some kind of comment otherwise she would
probably never go away.

“And the bride turns her back to the crowd and tosses the bouquet
behind her!”

Kei gave a slightly baffled smile as he said, “I believe he could

probably help you,” preparing to guide her over towards Tatsuki. That
was when a shadow appeared over his head. Kei raised both hands
in reflex, and something fit right into his palm.

“…Hmm?”

Cheers and laughter exploded at the same time. A pink and white
wedding bouquet had found its way into his hand.

“Oh, would this happen to be a friend of the groom? Apparently, a

gentleman has caught the bride’s bouquet!”

Just how terrible can her aim be? Don’t throw it over here.

“I’m very sorry.”

Thinking this was the most ridiculous thing in the world, Kei tried to
return the bouquet, but the bride declared with effusive sparkles in
her eyes, “It’s totally fine!”

“I think the bouquet is incredibly happy to have you catch it, Kunieda-
san, so please, I would love to see you keep it.”

What’s with this bride with mush for brains? Ugh, she seems a little
too interested in me. It would be one thing if it were a fried chicken
toss, but I couldn’t care less about a bouquet.

Kei firmly refused, saying, “Oh, no, I just couldn’t,” but the emcee
settled the argument when he said, “There’s no problem as long as
you’re single.” He was probably running behind schedule.
“Please take this auspicious bouquet and confess your love to a
woman you hold dear in your heart!”

And now the emcee just eliminated the option of giving the bouquet
away to a random woman at the ceremony. On the way to the
reception hall, Tatsuki came up to Kei with a grin and asked, “Want
me to take the bouquet for you?” Kei just mouthed the word “Die” at
him.

“Fine, you say?” Tatsuki asked.

No, you idiot.

Anyway, Kei was starving. The only thing he looked forward to at a

wedding reception was the food. He had a taping for a radio show
later, so he had to leave the reception early. He couldn’t drink of
course, but Kei was always more reserved outside, and it was a
convenient excuse to skip out on the stupid theatrics and speeches.

Kei sat fairly close to the bride and groom’s sweetheart table, and he
was able to casually check the menu for the reception. Bite-sized
seasonal hor d’oeuvres… Who cared about that? But there were
also salmon and scallops with red caviar, magret de canard with a
vegetable terrine, French potage, red sea bream with paradise
prawns, filet mignon grilled on granite… Okay, not bad. Kei decided
to make the filet mignon his sole purpose for coming to the reception
today. Servers poured drinks for the guests and brought over the hor
d’oeuvres and appetizers. After a while, the lights dimmed.

“Ladies and gentleman, please give a warm welcome to the bride

and groom.”

Hurry up and move it, Kei thought as he clapped his hands. In his
mind, his precious filet mignon was holding a rally and Kei was
cheering it on—a rally where Kei filled every single seat himself
inside the Tokyo Dome.
F! I! L! E! T! Filet!

Louder, I can’t hear you!

F! I! L! E! T! Filet!

This time in English!

F! I! L! L! E! T! Fillet!

How about a Kansai accent~?

Faylet!

“The bride and groom have taken their seats at the sweetheart table.
First, a representative from the groom’s employer will offer his
greetings and remarks. Please welcome Asahi TV’s Announcer
Department Manager, Hayashida Shouichi-sama.”

The manager stood up from a nearby table full of big shots and took
to the mic. The guests from the bride’s side buzzed with excitement
and delighted-looking faces as if saying, I think I’ve seen him on TV
before.

Stooges, all of them.

“Thank you for the kind introduction. I am Hayashida from Asahi TV. I
would like to offer my heart-felt congratulations to the bride and
groom and their families.”

How would you like your steak~?

Halfway between medium-rare and medium~!

That’s pretty hard to meet~!

That’s because it’s meat~!

“Well, I am sure that all the guests here today know this, but the
groom is a TV announcer for our network and appears on our
evening news show. Everyone inside and outside the network highly
praises his hard work and dedication…”

Everyone~! Are you chewing your cud~?

Sometimes~!

It’s just upchuck, you know~!

“I remember it like it was yesterday—when the groom applied

become an announcer and came to take the employment exam. You
might ask if there is a reason for that…”

Hey!

What’s taking forever!?

“…The manager sure is taking his time.”

The one who spoke out loud was Tatsuki, who was sitting at Kei’s
table.

“Shhh!”

“Hey, he’s already droned on for twenty minutes. Shouldn’t someone

signal him to wrap it up? Just wave a hand around in circles.”

“Tatsuki, go cut him off.”

“I would if I could.”

“Don’t you dare say that I told you to do it.”

“Well, he did down a bunch of champagne in the garden earlier~”

“He went on and on at Takaoka-chan’s reception last month too, but

today he’s like turbo-charged.”

If you can’t manage your time properly, you’re worse than an

amateur, you worthless idiot. Someone get me the CUT button. Let
me go to commercial.

“He met the bride Midori-san when he was a volunteer in his free
time. That is such a beautiful way to meet the love of your life…”

Everyone! Thank you for coming! Good night!

Thirty minutes had elapsed. In Kei’s mind, his filet mignon had
already left the stage. It didn’t even throw towels, guitar picks, or
streamers for souvenirs. In short, if he counted backwards from the
time he had to leave, there was no way his filet mignon would make
it on time. He was going to kill his manager. Kill him and grind him to
dust.

“—Thank you, it is with the deepest honor that I offer my

congratulations to the newlyweds.”

The entire venue, including the sweetheart table, breathed a sigh of

relief. Kei felt like the concentration of carbon dioxide went up a little.
He had no choice but to settle for at least enjoying the red sea
bream and paradise prawns, the course that was before the filet
mignon. The speech had lasted longer than expected; the caterers
would probably rush the courses out. Sea bream and prawns, sea
bream and prawns, sea bream and prawns.

“Thank you very much, Hayashida-sama. Next we have a mentor of

the groom, Asahi TV announcer Matsuura Hisao-sama, here to lead
a toast to the newlyweds.”

“Geh, there’s more.”

“Well, he can read the room, right?”

“Our image will probably go down the drain if they keep it up.”

After offering the standard congratulatory greetings, the mentor

launched proudly into his speech.

“Fresh recruits for announcers are assigned a senior colleague to act

as a mentor. We are their teachers, and we personally train them on
everything from enunciation, intonation, and the proper usage of
polite speech. I just happened to be assigned to the groom when he
was hired, and my first impression of him…”

Fifteen minutes elapsed, and Kei caught sight of people quietly

putting down the glasses that they had been holding up.

“I am also very happily married, but I would say that my wife does
struggle with some difficulties that come with being married to an
announcer…”

“…This is hopeless.”

Twenty minutes had elapsed. This was probably the first time Kei
had ever agreed whole-heartedly with a statement coming from
Tatsuki.

“This is the same energy he has when he’s talking on the radio.”

“AM radio even.”

“That a taxi driver plays in the background.”

“Is he competing against the manager or what?”

“He could have taken a crushing victory if he had finished in 30

seconds…”
“—Ladies and gentleman, please rise. Does everyone have a glass
in hand? Let us toast to this spectacular day! Cheers!”

In the end, 30 minutes in total had elapsed for the toast. Kei clinked
his glass of sparkling water with the glasses on either side of him
and pulled out a large gift bag from under the table.

“I have a work commitment I need to attend, so I will have to excuse

myself.”

“Oh, really? Can I have your share of the food, Kunieda-san?”

How about I grill you up, you damn brat? Kei cursed in his head as
he smiled and said, “Yes, it is better that it doesn’t go to waste.” He
stopped by the sweetheart table and the managers’ table to say a
few words before leaving. As he left the venue, the smell of freshly
baked bread wafted over to his nose. His stomach felt like it might
run away from home out of hunger and anger. What the hell? What
was with this horrible treatment? He had given up a part of his
precious Saturday, paid 30,000 yen,1 and all he got was water, a
baumkuchen, a gift they probably picked out of a catalog, some
candies, oh, and a wedding bouquet.

Kei wanted to face the bay outside of the marina’s banquet hall and
yell at the top of his lungs, Filet!!

It was evening when Kei finished his taping for the radio, and he
hadn’t eaten anything. His hunger had passed its peak, but now he
was fighting off drowsiness. The rush of new fall TV specials had
reached a fever pitch, and this week had been especially busy,
leaving Kei to operate on 3 hours of sleep on the weekdays.
Numerically speaking, the network had plenty of announcers, but
strangely enough, there were only a handful of people whom the
directors wanted to use, and so all the work mainly fell on to them.
Was it because of this same structure that most worker ants never
actually worked?

Kei walked through the halls of the network carrying the gift bag that
felt heavier and heavier as time passed. There was nothing that Kei
could really eat at home—maybe he should drop over at the house
since it had been a while? But then again, didn’t he mention
something about an upcoming deadline? Maybe? Possibly? Uhh…
Kei couldn’t remember. He stopped to search around for his private
cell phone, but he couldn’t find it. Huh? Did he leave it at home?

Kei briefly set the gift bag down, but then a hard impact slammed
into his head.

Man, I see stars. No, wait, it’s the moon.

A giant full moon. Ushio was standing underneath it.

Perfect. Meat. Feed me meat. Then I’ll pass out until tomorrow
morning.

When Kei called out at Ushio’s back, Ushio turned around to smile
back very gently.

“…Owwww…”

“Are you okay!?”

When Kei came to his senses, he was crouching down and clutching
his head in pain. A number of staff people crowded around him.
The first thought that came to his mind was—I didn’t lose my
memory again, did I? Major life events? Check. Work? Check.
Private life… He even remembered the unnecessary details (like the
parts where he was unclothed), so check.

There was a metal door leading to the emergency staircase on one

side of the hallway. Normally, Kei would give it a wide berth when he
walked past here, but it had completely slipped his mind today. The
door probably swung open just when he bent down, and it hit him
directly in the head.

Hey, you shouldn’t swing the damn door open like that, you
worthless idiot!

“I’m very sorry. Should I call an ambulance? It’s Saturday, and the
medical office is closed today…”

“…No, thank you, I’m fine. I should have been watching where I
was.”

Kei couldn’t bear to have it turned into a commotion. His head still
hurt a little, but the dizziness he experienced when standing up was
far worse. However, he wasn’t in the best condition to begin with, so
it probably wasn’t all due to the blow to his head.

“May I ask how long I had been sitting here?”

“I think less than a minute…”

So he had only blanked out for a moment and saw something like a
waking dream.

“Thank you. I’m so sorry for the trouble.”

“Since you hit your head, you should really go to a hospital, just in
case.”
I know that very, very well, thanks.

“Thank you very much.”

Kei smiled, gave a bow, and tried to leave, but he was stopped with
an “Excuse me.”

“You forgot your flowers. They fell out of your bag.”

“Oh, thank you very much.”

Tch.

It was already dark when he stepped outside. He had been cooped

up inside a recording booth without any windows, and it felt like he
had undergone a bit of a time slip, similar to the feeling of leaving a
movie theatre. But more important than that.

Damn, it’s huge.

A reddish full moon peeked out from between the buildings.

Hmm, it’s probably not a supermoon. So just a regular full moon? It’s
really kinda huge.

He had heard that the moon looked bigger closer to the horizon
though.

Kei had no interest in the moon. He didn’t care if it was huge, or tiny,
if rabbits lived there, if two of them existed, or if a kamehameha
destroyed it. But for some reason, the moon tonight made his heart
uneasy, and he was completely taken aback. Maybe it was because
of the brief dream he saw earlier. But it wasn’t like it was a
nightmare. He was just thinking about going to see Ushio, and he
happened to bring him unconsciously into his head. That was all
there was to it.
Kei caught a taxi and rode it to the front of Ushio’s house. He used
his spare key to get in, and the first floor was completely dark. There
were no signs of life upstairs either. Maybe he was sleeping after he
met his deadline. Jerk. Kei put his ridiculously huge gift bag down
and carried the bouquet in one hand as he climbed the stairs. If he
could find a vase or a beer mug or whatever, he just wanted to get
the flowers into some water. It was just the natural lifespan of flowers
when they withered while watered, but he felt bad if he neglected
them, to leave them to wilt, like he had forced them to starve.

There was only a dim light coming from a lamp by the bed. Yeah, he
was sleeping. But Kei was starving, so he flipped on the lights
anyway. He looked in on the bed, and Ushio was frowning at the
brightness, slowly opening his eyes.

Kei expected Ushio to complain, What are you doing? But Ushio just
met his eyes and smiled sweetly at him. This was the exact same
Ushio from that momentary dream earlier.

Kei felt something between a shock and a chill as his heart roared.
Or perhaps he felt both at the same time.

Ushio opened his mouth.

“…Kunieda-san.”

“Um?”

What did he just call me?

It wasn’t just a simple issue of his name. Ushio yawned, not noticing
how stiff Kei had become. He sat up and smiled generously at Kei
again. It was almost as if he skimped on the smiles when Kei was his
usual self.

“What are the flowers for?”

“…I got them at the wedding.”

“Isn’t a woman supposed to get them?”

Normally Kei would complain unhappily, It’s not my fault, but Ushio’s
voice was exceedingly gentle. All of his thorns fell off, and he
answered strangely reasonably, “…They flew in my direction, and I
couldn’t refuse them.”

“Seriously? Well, it’s very Kunieda-san of that to happen.”

It happened again. He called him Kunieda-san again. And his mood

and his attitude were completely in this Announcer Kunieda
reception mode—extremely kind and gentle.

“Oh, could it be that you brought them for me?”

Yeah, you can have them. Look after them yourself. That was what
he would have answered as Kei. But Ushio softly brought his face
towards Kei’s, and for some reason Kei looked down at the floor.

Oi, oi, Kei jeered at himself. What are you getting all shy for, stupid?

“You don’t have to get all shy.”

Yeah, seriously.

Kei couldn’t bring himself to lift his head up, and Ushio softly touched
his lips to Kei’s temple.

“…But it is really cute of you though.”

Whaaa? What the heck is wrong with him? Did he hit his head
somewhere? Or is he just pretending because the idea amused him?

But I came here without even calling him. He was probably really
asleep. Can he even put on an act like this right after waking up?

How would Ushio respond if he were to grill him, Are you fucking
around? Obviously, Ushio would immediately go back to normal,
saying something like, I just felt like trying it out—but would he
really?

Could he really be sure that Ushio wouldn’t get all surprised and say,
I didn’t know you could get so cranky. Or recoil and say, Kunieda-
san, that foul language doesn’t suit you.

It was that red, crimson moon. Almost like it wasn’t something from
this world.

“A flower vase,” Kei whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I thought that perhaps you could lend me a flower vase. Just like
you did before… But that one is probably too deep for these flowers.”

Shit, Kei thought. He had answered completely in Kunieda-san’s

voice. It felt like he had sealed some kind of deal or shut the lid to
something he shouldn’t have touched, and he was overcome with a
sense of unease.

“A flower vase?” Ushio tilted his head. “Did I really lend you one? I
don’t have anything like that here though…”

“You had said that a friend gave it to you.”

“Hmmm… Well, nevermind. Let’s arrange them in a couple of larger

cups.”
It sounded like Ushio wasn’t completely satisfied with the
explanation.

Seriously? Did moths get to his memory during the time I hadn’t
seen him?

It was a pretty tense situation, but maybe that was why Kei’s
stomach suddenly let out a loud rumble.

“Oh—”

If it had been any normal time, he would have complained that he

was starving so much that his innards were shrinking, but he only
became flustered, covering his stomach with his hands.

“Hmm? You didn’t eat at the reception?”

“I had a work commitment, so I needed to leave early.”

“I see, you must have had a rough day.”

Ushio gathered Kei into his arms for a hug and patted him gently on
the back. It wasn’t like Kei was unhappy about it, but Ushio would
normally give him more of a jab like, Everyone must have had a nice
feast after you left, then Kei would get angry and tell him to shut up,
and Ushio would eventually bring out the carrot that he wanted. But it
wasn’t like he needed to jump through some hoops first before
getting Ushio to pamper him, he wasn’t a masochist… As the
thoughts ran through his head, Ushio suggested, “Want to go out
somewhere to eat? The fridge is empty anyway… I know, how about
we make it a date somewhere nice? What do you feel like eating?”

“Cow.”

Kei floated his answer as a bit of a test. Ushio immediately widened

his eyes and laughed.
“That’s unusual. It’s rare that you feel like eating meat, Kunieda-san.”

Oh, no, I loooove meat, don’t you know?

“Cow, huh? Got it. I’ll go get ready, so give me a few minutes.”

“…All right.”

It’s a date, you say?

Kei sat on the bed, and it was still warm from Ushio’s body heat. He
could see the window peeking out from behind the curtains. He was
sure that the moon was peeking out through the sky beyond the
window.

When Ushio had said “somewhere nice,” Kei hadn’t expected him to
dress up in a suit too. The last time was when they had dinner
together with Shitara, before Ushio had discovered his double
personas. Ushio quickly called for a taxi and gave the driver the
name of a hotel. And not the kind where the word “love” preceded it,
but a luxury one from a famous foreign management group. It was
strange. Ushio hated stuffy places as much as Kei, and he wasn’t
the type of person who would seek out a place like this in his own
free time.

Kei could see the moon hanging a little higher in the sky from the taxi
window. He didn’t think that it looked so huge anymore, but it still had
an odd and creepy presence about it, like it was following him
everywhere he went.

“What are you looking at?” Ushio asked.

“The moon.”
“Oh, it’s a full moon. …‘Month by month the moon moons over head,
but this month’s moon we moon up at the moon.’ Is that how it
goes?”

Kei turned to look at Ushio. It was a classic Japanese poem about

viewing the harvest moon—Every month, we would always see the
moon, but it was only this moon that we ever really thought about
seeing.

“You seem very familiar with it.”

“Huh? But you’re the one who told me about it, Kunieda-san.”

“Um?”

“You told me that you use it as a vocal exercise as an announcer.

Did you forget?”

It was true that he used it, but Kei was sure that he hadn’t ever told
Ushio about it.

“You also told me that celebrating and viewing the moon was a
cultural tradition passed on from China during the Tang Dynasty.
Before that time, people believed that staring at the moon for too
long would steal away their souls, so they had avoided it.”

“Is that… so?”

This was the first that Kei had ever heard of it.

“You seem a little different from normal today, Kunieda-san. Are you
maybe feeling tired?”

That’s my line. But Kei couldn’t say it, and he looked at Ushio. He
looked at the man who looked like Ushio.
“Or maybe you’ve looked at the moon for too long?”

“…Perhaps I have.”

“You should be more careful then.”

Fingers tangled with his own on top of the seat between them.

Kei had hit his head, briefly lost consciousness, and when he came
to, Ushio was a little different. No, wait, maybe he seemed a little
different to Ushio? Or maybe he was dreaming? Or like in a coma or
something? Or a parallel universe? Maybe he had slipped into a
world slightly out of phase with his own, one where his hidden
persona hadn’t been discovered yet, or maybe it had never existed
in the first place, and a 100 percent genuine Kunieda-san had
somehow started dating Ushio—if that was the case, then where
was that Kunieda-san now? Had they been switched, and that
Kunieda-san was now with Ushio in the dimension Kei had come
from? Maybe Ushio would accept that Kunieda-san pretty easily,
thinking that he had lost his memory again. This had turned freaking
complicated.

The one thing that Kei could definitively say right now: regardless if
he was in a parallel world or a perpendicular one, the deliciousness
of beef undeniably transcended all worlds. The roasted beef
tenderloin with chaliapin sauce was absolutely fantastic. This was
practically a law of the universe.

The restaurant was located on top of a high-rise building, and the

elevated ceilings were covered entirely in glass. It was the perfect
location for viewing the moon outside.

“Is it good?” Kei asked.

“Yeah, very.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Want some more wine?”

“Oh, yes, please.”

“How about we get a bottle?”

Ushio was like a gentleman the entire time—similar to when Kei had
lost his memory. Kei remembered everything about that time, of
course, but it had all become a memory in an instant, like shuffling
cards, and it still felt like to him an all too realistic dream that he had
seen. And now that dream mode was unfolding before his very eyes
—it was closer to a dreamlike reality than a pure dream. That was
how it felt.

But things here and there did feel different from the reality that Kei
had thought that he knew. For example, his boyfriend who normally
hated wearing ties was wearing one today without fiddling with it.

“Does it not bother you?”

“Hmm?”

“Because you don’t normally wear neckties.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I’m fine.” Ushio nodded like it was nothing and said in
a low voice, “It doesn’t bother me that much to wear one. It’s not like
it’s an item only for businessmen. I still don’t really like the word
‘creator,’ but it’s what the job is. A rough, or more casual appearance
is the formal dress code that’s expected out of us. If I go to a
meeting wearing a tie, the clients will probably have their
expectations broken… We’re really not all that free when we’re
expected to maintain an appearance that makes it look like we have
all the freedom in the world.”
“I see.”

Did the other Ushio think this too? The other Ushio? The one who’s
mine? How do I refer to them?

Kei was getting more and more confused. He sipped his freshly
poured wine and took a breath. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the blow
to the head, or his sleep deprivation, but his head wasn’t really
thinking straight.

And accordingly, words that he would never say sober came out of
his mouth instead.

“…Do you often come to places like this?”

“Of course not. You should know that, Kunieda-san. It doesn’t fit my
personality or my income. It’s just an occasional splurge.”

“But you don’t seem to be flustered by this at all. Like nothing scares
you.”

It was the same as the time with Shitara. He didn’t seem out of place
at the restaurant for how out of character it was for him.

“I’m probably just shameless?”

“I wonder about that.”

Kei would never pry this much with the other Ushio. Ushio avoided
talking about himself as much as possible. When Kei was assigned
to interview Ushio for a special segment, he never talked about the
details about how he had grown up. He had only given a simple
statement saying that he hated studying and that he doodled all the
time, and that was how he had gotten into his line of work. Kei had
no means to confirm if it was even true.
There was a part of Kei that was unhappy about it. That it was unfair,
especially since he had taken Ushio to meet his parents. But if Ushio
had something that he really didn’t want to talk about, Kei felt
ashamed about it, but he didn’t have the confidence that he could
fully face and accept it. Not that Kei would stop loving him, he didn’t
mean that, but he didn’t want to force Ushio to talk about things that
he hated or to remember the things that had caused him pain. Kei
couldn’t do anything about the past, and digging up Ushio’s scars (if
he had them) would surely be a price that he couldn’t pay.

But maybe he could say something today. Today would probably be

okay. In any case, Ushio was himself but yet not himself.

“…I only ask because you never talk about yourself, Tsuzuki-san.”

A heat circulated through his veins other than alcohol. But Ushio
laughed playfully and sidestepped the comment.

“That’s because I’m a fairly shallow person. When I have to

announce something I’ve made, it’s like exposing myself to countless
numbers of people when I don’t even truly understand myself to
begin with.”

“Is that how it is?”

“Yeah.”

As Kei swirled the wine glass that was now empty, Ushio turned his
eyes towards the view outside the window.

“I don’t mean to hide things about myself. And I’m not putting on airs
either… But I don’t know. Right now I’m just happy, and I’m enjoying
myself. I have my work, and there’s a real sense that I’m earning a
living and supporting myself with it, and I have you, Kunieda-san…”

More than the pounding of his heart at hearing those words, Kei felt
more uneasy about the distant gaze that seemed stolen away by the
faroff moon.

You were the one who said not to look at the moon so much. No,
wait, maybe it was me.

After taking the time to enjoy their two-hour dinner to the fullest, Kei
was a little unsteady on his feet. He had probably drank too much.
His internal organs felt like they were floating as the elevator sped
down to the first floor. Ushio told Kei, “Wait just a sec,” and left him in
the lobby.

Kei sank down into a nearby sofa, but he immediately felt sleepy, so
he stood right back up. It was too dangerous. He had to control
himself until Ushio returned. He would think about the troublesome
questions tomorrow—like if he would be in this world when he woke
up. Kei wandered around on his feet for now, trying not to lose
consciousness, and beyond the bank of elevators, he could hear
music coming from an open lounge.

Kei walked over towards it, and men and women of all ages dressed
in costumes were dancing and taking pictures together.

Oh, right, today’s Halloween.

There was a lineup of various costumes all around the room with
ghosts, Frankensteins, and some that were just plain old cosplay. It
was an event that Kei had zero interest in, but for some reason, he
stepped into the lounge jam-packed with guests.

“Please accept a free welcome drink on the house.”

“…Thank you.”
Kei accepted a bright red cocktail from a waiter dressed up like
Dracula. It was extremely sweet and probably non-alcoholic. He felt
like someone’s eyes were on him, but it was just a mountain of jack
o’ lanterns of all different sizes sitting on a table. Light leaked out
from the crescent-moon eyes and the eerie, jagged smiles carved
into the orange shells.

Kei started feeling dizzy. Today was a day when such things
happened—a night when otherly worlds connected with their world.

Did the moon smile too?

“—…Found you.”

Someone tapped him from behind on the shoulder. Kei was taken by
surprise, and the cocktail spilled from the shot glass onto his dress
shirt and tie.

“Sorry.”

When Kei turned around, Ushio was there.

“I didn’t realize that you were holding a drink.”

“No, it’s all right.”

“If we ask the laundry service to rush it, we should have it back by
tomorrow morning.”

“Um?”

“I got us a room.”

Ushio held up a card key the air like it was the most natural thing in
the world.

“Let’s go.”
Kei showered in the hotel room, and it refreshed him a little. He
exited the bathroom wearing a bathrobe, and Ushio told him, “I’ve
sent your clothes out for cleaning.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Well, it’s my fault that it happened.”

Kei stood by the window, and before his eyes was the clear night sky
with the full moon remaining a constant fixture. Behind his back, he
could feel Ushio’s presence.

“Don’t catch a cold.”

“Tsuzuki-san.”

Kei directed his question at the Ushio inside the glass, housing the
lights from the buildings across the way.

“Could it be that you’re deceiving me?”

“I could be.”

Ushio smiled with his eyes crinkling into crescent moons.

“What would you do if I was?”

“Nothing. I’m fine with it,” Kei answered. “I would say that I tend to
deceive others too.”

“How scary.”
“I’m exhausted and drunk. Honestly, I’m not quite sure what’s
happening—”

Kei turned around. The moon and Kei were probably reflected in
Ushio’s eyes.

“No matter who you are, Tsuzuki-san, as long as you don’t lead your
life deceiving yourself, then it is all right with me.”

If Kei was his normal self, or if he was facing the other Ushio, he
probably couldn’t have said this. Hmm, maybe this alternate universe
thing wasn’t so bad.

“…Thank you.”

Ushio pulled him into his arms, and their lips melted into a kiss. Kei
could only describe it as abnormal just how much his heart raced.
They held each other’s hands locked together like lovers for the brief
distance that it took them to reach the bed.

They sat side by side, turning to kiss each other again. Ushio pushed
Kei down onto the bed as they kissed, and with perfect timing, the
lights dimmed inside the room. The bedside controls for the lights
were very quite convenient. And he didn’t even have to yell at Ushio
to turn them off.

See? You can do it if you put your mind to it, you bastard.

But strictly speaking, wasn’t he a different person? So would this be

an affair in a psychological sense then? Would it be okay to allow
himself do it with him? Shit, now Kei understood why Ushio was so
enamored with the idea of Kunieda-san. What should he do about
this situation?

Kei caught Ushio’s upper arm, hesitant in his movements. It seemed

like there was a sadness in Ushio’s eyes when he gazed down at
Kei.
“…Are you saying no?”

“Oh, it’s completely fine.”

Kei easily succumbed and gave his consent. Kei was already weak
when it came to Ushio’s demands—how was Kei supposed to resist
when Ushio pulled out his poor puppy-dog face? Like he was denied
a treat that was taken from him. Of course Kei would cave. He had
utterly and completely fallen for him. His heart was in a damn
freefall.

This is a dream. This has to be a dream. Anyway, it should be fine if

he never finds out.

“I’m glad.”

Look. He’s smiling. And so damn cute too.

“…Ah.”

His smile was easygoing, but his fingers were clever and certain.
They were both the same in this aspect, Kei thought. He felt guilty for
comparing the two of them, and yet it thrilled him at the same time.

“What’s the matter?” Ushio whispered, licking every nook and cranny
of his ear. “Is it because it’s been a while? And all the alcohol? …
You’re responding nicely.”

“No—”

Ushio was comparing him too—the Kunieda-san who might be Kei

with the Kunieda-san who might not be Kei. Jealousy, but arousal
even more so, coursed through his body. Like he was stealing
someone else’s lover. Like someone was stealing his.

“Is it… bad?” Kei asked.

“No. It makes me happy.”

But contrary to Ushio’s words, his fingertips seized Kei’s nipples with
a chastening strength.

“Aaah…!”

Kei writhed with his feet planted on the bed, knees in air, his legs
rubbing together desperate and impatient. His bathrobe was held
together with just a thin belt, and it fell open completely disheveled.
Ushio placed his hands on bare skin like it all belonged to him.

“Ah, ahhh.”

Kei didn’t hold his voice back. If it made Ushio happy, then he was
fine with it, even though he found it embarrassing. His entire body
was burning, it was pointless to even hold back. He was aroused just
feeling Ushio’s breath against him. Ushio sucked at a nipple, all pert
and erect, and Kei couldn’t stand it anymore, running his fingers
through Ushio’s hair.

“Nnhh!”

Ushio gently licked the skin, intending to soothe Kei’s lust, but only it
further kindled the seed inside of him. Nimble lips worked at the little
swollen nub, teeth softly biting the wet skin, and the pleasure hit his
nerves.

When Ushio’s wandering hands brushed across his hips, Kei lost his
patience and pulled down his underwear himself. Ushio smiled
fondly back at Kei, not saying a word, and pulled the piece of fabric,
gathered by his knees, down the rest of the way.

“Ahh…”
His erection strained up from between his legs spread fully open.
There was no place to hide, completely exposed under Ushio’s gaze,
and a fierce wave of shame threatened to overwhelm him, but Kei
didn’t look away. Not from his own desire, nor from Ushio’s.

“…I love you.”

The words seemed to pierce Kei through his ears to somewhere

deep inside his body—somewhere fingers, tongue, nor Ushio’s cock
could ever reach, creating a wave of pleasure that made him shiver
and tremble. Ushio sucked little kisses where his legs joined, on the
delicate area of his inner thigh, teasing the edges of his core. When
Ushio finally reached his cock that was overloaded with heat, Kei
cried out, almost on the verge of tears.

“Aaaahh!”

Ushio ran his tongue all around the base of his cock as he pressed a
fingertip to the tiny slit of the head. Translucent fluid immediately
welled and spilled over.

“Nh, ah, ahhh…”

“You’re so cute.”

He wanted to release more as pleasure circulated through his

hardness. The pre-come made Ushio’s touch smoother and wetter.
Just when Kei thought Ushio would trace the tip of his tongue up the
side of his shaft, saliva and loud obscene noises smothered the
head of his cock.

“Ah— Ah, no, don’t… ngh.”

“Hmm?”

Ushio used his mouth to guide the welling desire that wracked
through Kei’s body and asked, “What you mean don’t?”
“I said don’t, so don’t.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Liar…”

“That makes two of us, right?”

Ushio fisted Kei’s cock and stripped it more mercilessly than Kei
would himself.

“No! Aaah, ah, noo— I’m going to come…”

“Don’t you want to come?”

Kei crumpled the cuffs of his bathrobe as he nodded again and

again.

“I want to come…”

“Go ahead.”

Ushio swallowed Kei down greedily, taking him deep, squeezing and
sucking. Just after the mouth tightened on his cock, pleasure ripped
through his body, surging to meet his release. His body bent back,
curling down to his toes, as he held still through his climax.

“Aaah…! Ah, aah…!”

Ushio cleaned up the mess of come that covered the head of his
cock, and Kei twisted and turned at his further ministrations.

“No, I can’t come anymore…”

“You can— Here.”

Belated drops of come spilled at Ushio’s urging, just like he said he
could.

“Ahhh…”

Kei shuddered through the remnants of his release, and his limbs
went limp.

The same could be said for his consciousness.

“…Kunieda-san?”

Ushio patted his cheeks, but it was useless. Even a slap from
Hakuho, the sumo wrestling champion, probably couldn’t wake him.

“…Are you falling asleep?”

“I’m not sleepy.” The sound of his voice was considerably slurred.

“I’m pretty sure you are.”

“No, I’m not. I just have a 6-ton weight on top of my eyelids…”

“You’re totally falling asleep.”

His desire to continue was at full gauge, but his remaining HP

wouldn’t allow him to do so. As Kei sluggishly blinked his eyes,
Ushio chuckled wryly at him.

“Sleep. You don’t have to push yourself. You’re exhausted, right? …

Did it feel good?”

“Yes…”

“Good. Good night.”

Ushio ruffled his hair, and Kei fell into the depths of slumber in this
otherly world, free of all dreams and illusions.

The doorbell for the room rang. The space next to him on the bed
vacated, and he heard the sound of slippers walking further away.

“Thank you very much for using our laundry service. We are
delivering one tie and one dress shirt. Can you please confirm your
items? Please sign your name on the sales slip.”

“All right, thank you.”

The footsteps returned to the bed, tossing the clothing covered in

plastic bags over by the pillows.

“Oi~ What do you want to do about breakfast? Do you want to go

downstairs for the buffet?”

“…Too much trouble.”

“Ok, I’ll order room service. Go hide in the closet.”

“The bathroom works just fine!”

Kei was about to complain, Why do I have to act like an illicit lover,
when he finally realized something.

“…Hey…”

Ushio was back to his normal self, in both his tone and his words,
and he looked down at Kei.

“You sure enjoyed yourself with the Kunieda-san roleplay.”

“—I’m gonna kill you!!”

“I wasn’t pretending when I first woke up,” Ushio explained. “You

showed up without an appointment, all dressed up and with flowers
to boot. I woke up thinking, ‘Oh, Kunieda-san’s here to propose to
me,’ and it got my heart all racing— Man, you’ve really deceived me
over and over again just because I’ve fallen for you.”

So freaking shameless.

“And then you looked so upset after what I said, so I wondered what
would happen if I just went with it. But the world has its own strange
ideas for how it wants the story to play out, and then I couldn’t really
bail myself out of it.”

“You can sure think of some evil ideas the moment you wake up!”

“Because I’m always watching for an opportunity to play you, I mean,

play with you.”

You corrected yourself on purpose, didn’t you?

“I had left it up to chance when I first went with it. I didn’t think you
would actually play along.”

“…What was that story about the moon?”

“There was an article about it in one of the newspapers you had left.
I just happened to remember it.”

Kei let out a deep sigh into a pillow. Okay, yes, now that he thought
about it normally, transporting to an alternate universe was
completely impossible. There were multiple compounding factors
that had impaired his thinking and judgement. It was all the full moon
and the wedding’s fault. And the damn managers’ fault for their long-
winded speeches. It was endless.

“Why did you play along so easily anyway? Even if you’re stupid, you
are pretty stupid, and really very stupid, but still.”

You’re just repeating yourself.

“Shut up. A lot of things happened, okay?”

“What things?”

“Not telling.”

“You’re so secretive.”

“I don’t wanna hear that from you!”

Whatever. He was going to sulk until it was time to checkout. Kei

rolled up into a ball, and something found its way in front of his
mouth.

“It’s Halloween candy. I found it on the table.”

It was a white marshmallow candy in the shape of a ghost. Kei took

a savage bite out of it to vent his anger, but it was too soft and fluffy
to be anywhere satisfying enough. It tasted faintly sweet. Maybe the
fact that he couldn’t identify the taste made it a secret mystery flavor.
The night had ended, and the moon had set. The party was over.
Left behind was a promise that they wouldn’t pry into which words
were real or not.

Ushio’s whisper, It was fun, tasted the same as the candy.

Part 2: bitter me

“…Uh, hey.”

Kei was huddled in the hotel bed as Ushio pressed a hand to Kei’s
cheek, which then made Ushio raise his eyebrows.

“Don’t you feel kind of feverish?”

“Huh?”

Ushio pressed his hand to Kei’s forehead and all over his face before
declaring, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you have a fever. Maybe it’s a fever
from stress?”

“If you’re talking about my head, I’m always using it, dammit!”1

Maybe that was why his head kept spinning, and why Ushio had
deceived him with that stupid trick of his. Yeah, it was all the fever’s
fault. He would make it all the fever’s fault.

“Speaking of which, my joints hurt.”

“Well, yeah, probably because you spread them too much last night.
Those hip joints of yours.”

“And who was the one who forced me to do that!?”

“Oh, it seems like your throat is fine. That’s good, that’s good~ What
do you want to do? We should be able to get some Bufferin here.”

“I’ll go see the doctor,” Kei answered as he crawled out of bed. He

wasn’t sure when the fever had developed, but he wanted to check
to see if it was the flu or not. And if it was a regular cold, then he
would compel himself to get better by noon tomorrow by sheer force
of will.
“Need me to go with you?”

“No. If I infect you, you’ll be a pain in the ass, so stay away from me.”

“Aww, don’t say that,” Ushio said in a coaxing voice.

“I’m not gonna fall for it, stupid.”

“Any pathogens that you carry probably won’t affect normal humans,
you know.”

What’s that supposed to mean?

Kei quickly got dressed to leave the hotel (Ushio was the one who
got the room, so he had no intentions of paying anything), and he
hurried to a clinic that was open on Sunday. He filled out the medical
questionnaire as he took his temperature. It was 38.2°C—
surprisingly high.2 It was a small consolation, but the clinic had the
latest instrument for their diagnostic tests, and it was a quick exam.
Fortunately, it wasn’t the flu, so Kei asked for some medication and
took a taxi home.

Kei took a quick shower, pulled on his clothes for sleeping, and
climbed into bed. The thought occurred to him that it had been a
while since he had some quality sleep in his own bed, and
immediately his entire body slackened and turned into lead. He didn’t
want to move a single finger, but he had skipped breakfast to rush to
see the doctor, and now unfortunately he was starving. And anyway,
he couldn’t take his medication without eating something first.
Apparently he had felt so out of it that he had forgotten to stop by the
convenience store first.

I know, I should use my errand boy.

Just as Kei was about to message Ushio, he heard the door unlock
with perfect timing.
“What did the doctor say?”

“It’s a cold.”

“Anything you want to eat?”

“Kalbi on rice.”

“Give it up.”

Ushio had denied his request, but he was holding a bag from the
supermarket, so he probably planned to make something for him to
eat.

“I want to read manga. Bring me five volumes of Kingdom from the

living room.”3

“Get some sleep.”

“Hurry up.”

“Okay, fine.”

Cruel bastard, trying to deprive him of the perfect distillation of bliss

collectively shared by all humanity: reading manga in a warm cozy
bed. But Ushio did bring them over, so maybe Kei could deign
himself to forgive him.

Okay, time to settle in—

“…………Oi! What the hell!?”

Only the dust covers were Kingdom, while the contents had been
swapped with Ping-Pong Club. Well, Kei did like them both, but it
was completely different from what he had expected, and it took him
by surprise.
“Quit it with your stupid pranks!!”

“I’ve got nothing to do while waiting for the rice to cook, so maybe I
should randomly switch the covers for all the books~”

“Don’t you dare.”

He would definitely go crazy from the anger.

Kei begrudgingly read the volumes that he had on hand and nodded
off into a doze. After repeating this cycle several times, Ushio carried
a tray into his room.

“I did put some meat in it, by the way.”

The rice porridge had plenty of ginger in it with shredded chicken

and kudzu sauce. Kei broke into a sweat as soon as he started
eating. Dessert was yogurt with grated persimmon. Even though
when Ushio had fallen sick, he had insisted on being left alone to
himself, but apparently he had no problems taking care of Kei when
the situation was reversed. What a fussy man.

Kei finished all of his food and demanded, “Kingdom.”

“You’re supposed to say thanks for the meal. How’s your fever?”

Ushio handed Kei a thermometer, and Kei took his temperature.

Maybe it was because he had just finished eating, but it read
38.6°C.4

“…That’s kind of high.”

“I want shabu shabu for dinner.”

“Act like a sick person a little, would you? Anyway, where’s your
medication?”
“The fridge.”

“Oh, so that’s what it was. I’ll go get it.”

Ushio came back with it in no time. Just the bag with the medicine
and nothing else.

“Where’s the water?”

What a useless bastard.

“You won’t need it.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, look at it.”

Ushio pulled out what looked like capsules packaged in a blister

pack. However, they were much bigger than what people would
normally picture for a capsule, and the shape was slightly different.

“Geh…”

“We should quickly get your fever down. You do have work
tomorrow, Kunieda-san.”

True, Kei had told the doctor that he needed to reduce his fever as
quickly as possible, and so in addition to the normal oral medication,
the doctor had prescribed a medication that would be absorbed
internally through the body’s membrane. Why did Ushio have to be
so sharp-sighted?

“Go home!”

Kei sensed an impending danger to his person and waved his hands
to shoo Ushio away. Ushio called out, “Sorry for bothering you
then~,” as he turned to leave, still holding onto the bag.

“Dumbass! Leave the medicine!”

“I’ll put it in for you, so take your pants off and lie face down.”

Ushio had ordered him straight and to the point, but like hell he
would listen.

“There’s no way in hell! Are you crazy!?”

“Huh, why not?”

That puzzled-looking face irritated him so much.

“Isn’t it something that we always do?”

“We don’t always do that!!”

Like this man with zero sense of tact could ever understand. And
that was why Kei didn’t want to do it.

“But you like doing it from the back.”

“I don’t like it. Anyway, that’s not the issue here!”

Oh, crap, his angry outburst drastically drained him of his strength.
And just when he had replenished his nutrients too. Kei stopped to
take a deep breath.

“Ahh, look, you’re making your fever worse.”

“Then leave.”

Ushio suddenly narrowed his eyes, giving Kei a face full of sadness
and despair.
“Kunieda-san…”

“I’ve had enough of that game of yours!”

“Wait, but seriously, what makes you hate it so much? Do you think
that I’ve never seen you there before?”

Quit following up on all the little details related to anything sexual.

“If I hate it, then I hate it.”

“Oh, I know, you won’t know what to do if you get hot and bothered
by it.”

“I’m gonna infect you, you hear. Mark my words.”

“Spare me please. It’ll be instant death for me if I catch the cold that
can take down the ironman Kunieda.”

Was Ushio praising him or what?

“Come on, come on, it’ll be over before you know it.”

Ushio resorted to force at last. He climbed onto the bed and peeled
away the covers. Before Kei knew it, Ushio had grabbed his arms
behind him and turned him to lie facedown on the bed.

“Bastard, what are you doing to a sick person!?”

“I’m taking measures to help treat your cold, of course. If you keep
protesting, I’m going to think that you actually want it, so stop it.”

“What the hell is with that logic!?”

“Here, lift your hips. If you keep squawking, I’ll make you do this face
up.”
Kei hated both options, but if he were to pick one based on which he
couldn’t stand more, then which one was better? Which one was
worse? As he pondered the question, Ushio took advantage of the
moment to lift him by his stomach and pulled his sweatpants down
together with his underwear to his knees.

“Stop it, idiot!”

“Listen here,” Ushio said with an exasperated voice at his back. “The
more you keep resisting, the longer you’ll be here dragging out your
embarrassment. If you just stay still and behave, it’ll be over in a
minute.”

What? Why am I being lectured like I’m throwing a tantrum? Kei

thought, but he couldn’t match Ushio’s strength more than usual, and
he wanted to avoid any more unnecessary fatigue to his body. Kei
resigned himself to his fate and clutched his pillow tightly.

“…Hurry up and get it over with.”

“Okay, okay~”

The nonchalant parry in Ushio’s response made Kei angry, but if he

were to talk back to him, Ushio would probably drag this out even
longer, so Kei remained silent. He heard the sound of foil from the
packaging break open. Kei squeezed his eyes shut as he braced
himself to be touched down there, but the timing he had expected
came and went, and there was nothing.

“…Oi, what are you doing?”

“The instructions say to warm up the tip first.”

“I don’t care, just do it!”

“I know you’re used to it, but still.”

“You better watch your back when I get better.”

“Let’s hope you get better soon then~ Okay, it’s ready now, spread
your legs for me more.”

He could say it so easily. Kei wondered if it was because he lacked

an imagination despite his occupation as a creator.

“I can’t go any farther, my clothes are the way.”

“Oh, right. Well, it doesn’t matter.”

Two fingers spread him open to prepare him to take the medication.
Kei slightly recoiled his shoulders at the sensation of the air touching
him.

“I’m putting it in.”

“Nn…”

The pointed tip of the suppository was shaped like a rocket, and it
pushed up against him. The feeling of the slippery coating on the
surface was much different from what Kei was used to, and his body
couldn’t help pulling away from it. Nevertheless, Ushio pushed the
entire thing inside of him all at once.

“Nnh.”

When the tip of Ushio’s finger entered him, it was almost

unbelievable how fast he relaxed and opened up. It was clearly
telling them both that it knew that particular touch, and Kei wanted to
run away.

“Is this enough?”

Ushio pushed farther in, and Kei could tell that the hard, foreign
sensation would remain there inside of him—and that it would not be
coming out.

“Unnh…”

“Bear with it a little longer.”

After a short period of discomfort, the sensation of a capsule lodged

inside his body gradually dissipated. It steadily melted with the body
heat, and the medication would absorb and circulate through his
body to bring the fever down.

“Are you okay now?”

“…Nn.”

Kei relaxed the tension in his shoulders, and Ushio suddenly

wriggled the finger that was still inserted inside him.

“Noo!”

“Oh, it’s gone. I wonder if it’s all melted? Or maybe it went farther in?
Hmm, you really are hot here with you having a fever and all.”

“Stop…”

“Stop what?”

It was clear that the voice knew exactly what he was doing.

“Take it out, stupid!”

“Okay.”

The pressure inside of him pulled out so slowly that it made him
impatient. On its way out, it ground into his weak spot.

“Aaah!”
It was rare for Kei to have that spot stimulated all of a sudden
without any foreplay, but it didn’t change the surge of arousal that he
felt despite the flaccid state of his cock. The suddenness of it
probably made the experience more intense than usual.

“Noo, don’t.”

“Oh, does it hurt?”

Ushio knew full damn well that it didn’t. When the edge of the
fingernail approached the rim of his hole, Kei clenched down fiercely
to try suck the intrusion back inside of him. The greedy clutch of his
hole was probably clear to Ushio’s eyes, and a fevered heat was
directed at his head. Kei realized that within the depths of his body a
desire still smoldered with heat, probably because it had been shut
down in the middle of their activities last night. He would have been
fine if Ushio hadn’t touched him like he had.

“Hmmm? Is something detaining me from leaving?”

“Don’t play dumb… Nghh, you had to touch me all weird.”

“Whoops, I wasn’t thinking, and my habits kicked in… Anyway, you

responded way too nicely.”

“You’re awful!”

“Okay, I don’t want to be more awful than I am, making a sick person
overexert himself, so should I stop?”

Dammit, taking it away like that made him even more fucking awful.

“You’re the worst…” Kei whispered in a nearly faint voice and

smothered his face in a pillow. Ushio seemed to really feel bad and
said, “Sorry,” as he gently stroked his hand up and down Kei’s back.
“Kei, forgive me.”

“Shut up. Drop dead, drop dead, drop dead.”

“I’ll take responsibility for it.”

Ushio pulled out the finger that he had kept partially inside of him,
and after studying the little gap briefly, pressed his tongue to the
place that twitched and gasped.

“Nh, ahhh…”

Copious amounts of saliva made its way deeper and deeper inside
of Kei, as Ushio inserted his fingers again and spread him wide
open. The tongue and fingers fucked him with the similar motions of
his cock, ravishing his hole tenderly.

“No, ah, aaah…”

“You’re seriously burning up. Hey, um, you’re trembling a lot. Are you
okay?”

“Of course I’m not!”

“Oh… Okay, I’ll be gentle.”

Ushio spouted another line that was probably not to be trusted as he

firmly held Kei’s hips. Even now Kei felt like he might collapse.

“Ah—”

Kei loved it, but he could never get used to the thing pressing into
him no matter how many times they did this.

“Aaah, ah, ahhh!”

Ushio’s cock was dangerously heated as always. The heat melted
his insides, and Kei almost wondered if it was hollowing him out as a
different intoxication from earlier went to his head, and he had to rub
his face into the pillow to ride it out.

“Nn… ngh, no, noo!”

When Ushio filled Kei completely, he started rocking back and forth
inside of him without even a pause. Oi.

“No, don’t… Y-You said you would be gentle… Liar…”

“Dummy, in this case, it’s kinder to end this quickly.”

“Ahh!”

Kei wasn’t satisfied with his explanation. Furthermore, just when Kei
was about to come, Ushio gripped his cock to prevent him from
reaching completion.

“No! It hurts, let go.”

“It’s not like you can come twice in your condition, right? Hold back
until I’m ready to come.”

Hey, is this supposed to be gentle? Really, you call this gentle? Go

get your head checked, stupid.

“Ahh, ahh… No, no, I can’t keep holding it in.”

“I didn’t get to do anything yesterday, so I don’t think I’ll take long.”

“Hurry up and come!”

“Hey, it all depends on you.”

“I-I’m totally gonna kill you…”

“Oh, good, it looks like you immediately came to life.”

“Ah, ahh, ah.”

The tip thrusting into him repeatedly filled him with pleasure, but from
the outside, Ushio wouldn’t grant him his release. And so Kei
complained by clenching down fiercely on heated pressure inside
him. In response, the rhythm of the thrusts became merciless.

“Noo— Nhh, no, please, I can’t… anymore…”

“Yeah, me too.”

Ushio’s full length thrust into him hard, as if it was trying to break free
from his walls, and at the same time, Ushio finally released his grip
on Kei’s cock.

“Ahh, aaah…”

“Nhh… ngh.”

Ushio roughly yanked up Kei’s T-shirt and shot his come all over his
naked, sweat-slicked back.

Whether it was the effectiveness of the fever reducer, or the fact that
he had sweated a lot earlier (Kei did not want to admit that it was the
latter), his fever had dropped down below 37.5°C by nightfall.5 Kei
had already had cow and poultry, so next was probably pig
according to Ushio’s logic, and for dinner Ushio prepared pork shabu
shabu with tofu and parsley.

“When you told me to mix half sesame sauce and half ponzu
together, I was really skeptical, but it’s surprisingly good once I
tasted it.”

“It makes everything taste better this way.”

Kei finished his food and demanded, “Medicine,” directing his order
at Ushio.

“And I mean the powder or the tablets this time!”

“Yes, yes, I have them here. And your water. Do you need a jelly
drink to help it go down?”

“…No!”

“What are you so suspicious about?”

“Try asking that yourself.”

“Yeahh, I don’t have the slightest idea~ I mean, you are an idiot, and
no medicine in the world will help it.”

“Hurry up and hand it over!”

Kei swallowed two each of the two types of tablets and the powdered
medicine all at once. He massaged the passageway down his throat
over his T-shirt, and after taking a breath, he grabbed Ushio by the
collar and pulled him into a kiss. Kei offered up his tongue, still
covered in white leftover powder, and Ushio sucked it all off
thoroughly before mumbling “Yuck.”

Yeah, savor the bitterness you deserve.

Kei didn’t think that Ushio would really do it, but his entire manga
collection—every single book—was swapped out with a different
cover. He stood there for a while, tearing at his head in aggravation.

“…He freaking put Black Jack inside of Attack on Titan!”

Seriously, I’m gonna get you for this.

If Ushio were to become laid up in bed any time in the future, Kei
was going to barge into his house, switch out each of his socks with
a mismatched pair, and rename all the folders on his damn
computer.

Just you wait and see.

Translation Notes

In Japan, they say that if you use your head too much, you can
develop a fever.
38.2°C – Approx. 100.8°F.
Kingdom is a war story manga by Hara Yasuhisa about the
Sengoku (Warring States) era.
38.6°C – Approx. 101.5°F.
37.5°C – Approx. 99.5°F.

Story 4: Other Short Stories – Part 1

Author’s Note: “Nobody Loves me” is kind of a different type of story,

and I personally like it a lot. I wonder if there’s a world where this
Kurageda-san1 attaches himself to Ushio. And today is another day
where Ushio observes Kunieda-san’s sleeping positions and offers
him advice about what to wear.
Translator Note: I’ve already translated “Nobody Loves me” as an
extra for Volume 2 of “Yes, No, or Maybe Half?” but I’m including it
here too for completeness.
Nobody Loves me

For some reason, he felt like he had turned into a jellyfish. He had
fell during a trip at a hot springs, and ever since he woke up, that
was the feeling that he had. Probably because he had hit his head,
his memories were fuzzy. At first, he felt like the reality of his
surroundings was shaky and unreliable, but now he thought
otherwise.

It was himself that was formless, drifting about and taking in air. It
was the world that didn’t know what to do with him, and it made
Kunieda-san scared and worried.

He opened up a newspaper and turned on the TV. It was a normal

and ordinary day. There were words that he knew, news that he had
heard, and breaking news stories to process. Kunieda-san
understood everything and could digest it all. He took care of himself
properly, made his meals himself, and he more than supported his
basic necessities with his salary. What part of his daily life was
unstable? He couldn’t come up with an answer, and he didn’t know if
thinking about it in itself was the correct thing to do.

Sometimes he wondered if he was still unconscious from the hit to

his head (or some other accident or illness) and he was actually
dreaming.

—Somehow it felt like he wasn’t himself…

He had talked with a doctor, but he had brushed it off saying, Let’s
just wait and see how things go. Which probably meant that at the
very least, there was a third party who felt that everything was
normal. Would he feel better if he could call or text someone? But
there was no one he could think of to contact. It wasn’t that he
couldn’t think of anyone, but his parents, his work colleagues, and
the people he knew from college all felt wrong.

He couldn’t fall asleep until late at night, and he had hoped his head
would feel clearer in the morning after getting some rest, but his
sleep was shallow and nothing had changed.

It was just before dawn, and his empty bedroom was filled with a
bluish darkness like the middle of the ocean. It was his own
apartment, but his sofa, his coffee table, and even his bookshelves
seemed cold and distant. Why were there volumes of manga he had
never seen before? What was that extra key hanging on his
keychain for? It felt like all those things were simultaneously
accusing him, You’re not you.

Kunieda-san was lonely. He didn’t know why he felt so lonely, and it

made him feel even lonelier that he could barely stand it. The
thoughts occupied his head like a curse saying, No one loves you.
Why? Why? He had never done anything wrong or said anything
cruel—he had lived his life properly up until now. He had carefully
communicated with the people around him, and there wasn’t anyone
who he could remember that obviously hated him. But despite all of
that, there was no one.

Kunieda-san waited quietly for the morning. Morning came and went,
then noon, and as night approached, he thought, I should go see
him. Tsuzuki-san.

Tsuzuki-san was the single person he had no recollection of in his

memory. The first time he had ever seen him was when he woke up.
And yet— No, maybe that was why. It was only when he was with
Tsuzuki-san that the contours took shape and he felt less and less
like a jellyfish. He felt safe, and he enjoyed himself.

But sometimes when Tsuzuki-san would look at him, a hint of

loneliness would flash across his eyes. Maybe the thoughts that
Kunieda-san was having about himself, he was making Tsuzuki-san
feel right now. Imagining it only made Kunieda-san feel lonely all
over again. I’m sorry, he whispered. But I want to see you.

Even if no one—and perhaps not even you—loves me.

(First published in a blog post celebrating additional printings of Dear

Plus Bunko’s “Center of the World” in July 2017.)
lip reading

Stiff upper lip—it was an expression in English that described those

who showed great self-restraint in maintaining their cool and
composure. It was surprising because he most associated the lower
lip with the image of someone clenching their teeth to keep their
emotions in check.

He would frequently remember that expression whenever he

watched Kei: the lips that he would set together while he read
through newspapers and materials for work and watched the news,
the lips that he would press into a line the moment before an
inappropriate subject was mentioned live on the air. Those lips would
loosen whenever he went to curse people out, kick up a fuss to
cover up his embarrassment, and complain that he was hungry with
his primitive instincts on full blast, but it was like his determined show
of stiffness refused to yield any suggestion that other sides of Kei
existed.

Ushio thought that he had probably stiffened his lips during the time
he had stayed at his parents’ home. He had ground his teeth
together in full defiance. Not with his words or his actions, but with
his heart. He had resolved behind closed lips over and over again
that he would never agree with their values, that he would never
abandon everything he loved, that he would never give up on his
freedom. And although Ushio loved the face that Kei made whenever
he shut his mouth tightly, Ushio would sometimes worry about him.
Kei was stronger than Ushio, and that was because he placed an
unbelievable amount of restraint on himself.
In the middle of the night, Ushio pressed at Kei’s upper lip with his
finger while Kei was asleep. The lip felt warm to the touch and made
a soft dent.

Oh, you’re okay.

Ushio was reassured. Against his better judgement, he kept poking

at the lip, and Kei squinted his eyes open.

“…What the hell are you doing?” Kei demanded, sounding half-
asleep.

Ushio answered, “I got bored,” and Kei got angry at him.

“Are you dumb? Go to sleep.”

“Okay.”

“What are you smiling at? You’re giving me the creeps. Turn the
other way around.”

“Okay, okay.”

Ushio let Kei push his shoulder to turn him in the other direction, and
immediately Kei pressed himself up against his back.

“What? Do you miss my company? Want me to hold you?”

“Shut up and be quiet.”

Kei’s breathing tickled the back of his neck. Ushio laid his hand on
top of the one wrapped around his waist. Ushio loosened his lips at
the warmth. Even when Ushio hadn’t gone to seek it out himself, Kei
would always give him an It’s okay. Ushio would always forget that
little reassurance over and over again, and yet Kei would remain
constant, unchanging.
“Let’s play together in the morning.”

Let’s talk, let’s eat, let’s laugh.

Kei didn’t give Ushio an answer, but he squeezed his arms tighter as
he hugged him.

(First published in a bonus short story card for Ichiho Michi’s 10th
Anniversary Commemorative Fair in July 2017.)
ANIMAL LIFE

“There was a news story about baby pandas today.”

Ushio brought forward this particular topic of conversation.

“Asahi TV was playing TV shopping program, so I went randomly

flipping through the channels. Sometimes they would refer to the
pandas as a large animal, and sometimes they would say a small
animal. So which one’s correct?”

“…If a person can carry the animal in their arms, it’s a small animal.
If not, then it’s a large animal.”

“Oh, I see. So when they’re referring to pandas, it’s a large animal,

but when they’re referring to baby pandas, it’s a small animal.
Kunieda-san sure knows the answers to all my questions~”

“…Hey, you.”

“Hmm?”

“W-Why are you asking me this now!?”

“Oh, nothing. I just happened to remember it. So I guess this means

that Kunieda-san is considered to be a small animal.” Ushio rocked
into Kei’s body, the two of them joined together facing each other. “I
mean, I can carry you in my arms.”
“Ah! Ugh, you idiot… ngh!”

“But a fish is pretty fitting too. I’d hate to give it up.”

“Why!? And your choices are devolving!”

“Because you flop around all slick and wet— Here.”

“Ahh, no…”

Kei clung to Ushio as Ushio thrust deep inside him, curving his back
as it dripped with beads of sweat.

“Maybe I should call it trembling? Which one’s better? I guess there’s

not a huge difference.”

“A-As soon as we’re done, you’re dead…!”

But once they finished, Kei would put it off because he would want to
shower first. And after that, he would want to sleep first. And then he
would wait for breakfast to be ready first… And yes, he knew that
little by little he would let Ushio off the hook.

I’m not “all talk and no action.” Just that each time I’m generously
granting him amnesty as a prince, Kei would repeat to himself.

At any rate, Kei thought, You better cut it out, you bastard. Pandas
were the idols of the world, always in the media with announcements
and stories capturing the public’s attention. It was embarrassing—
that every time when a new panda story appeared, he would have to
explain the large/small animal divide and pretend like he hadn’t
remembered some very unnecessary memory so that no one would
know—well, there was one person who did know. Kei didn’t care
about the bears in kabuki makeup that probably tasted terrible; it was
any collateral incidents that he was worried about. Plus, there was
no sign of the pandas ever being dethroned from their top spot in the
world. Just like Kunieda Kei and his image as a prince.

What should I do to erase a troublesome memory?

If he were to ask Kids Summer Vacation Science Hotline for help,

would they come up with a brilliant plan to solve his problem?2

“The two of us as one large animal. That would work too.”

His ears still burned from the words that Ushio had whispered.

(First published in a bonus short story card for attendees at Ichiho

Michi’s 10th Anniversary Commemorative Collaboration Cafe at
ComiComi Studio in August 2017.)

Translation Notes

Kurageda is a play on kurage (jellyfish) and Kunieda.

Kids Summer Vacation Science Hotline is a call-in radio show for
kids.

Story 4: Other Short Stories – Part 2

Translator Note: This part contain ficlets written for “Daydream

Believer” from Off Air Volume 1.
Dreams of Love
(Note: This short story contains references to the short story
“Daydream Believer” from Off Air Volume 1 and the spinoff “Side
Profiles and Irises.”)

He had thought that he had seen a lot of sides of Kei and a fair
number of sides of Kunieda-san, but this particular Kunieda-san was
unusually rare—a first he’d ever seen of him, in fact. Kunieda-san
was on The News as always, at the same time as always, just calmly
reading the sports news like nothing was wrong, and Ushio uttered a
“Huh?” without thinking. Kunieda-san had already read the news for
the regular news segments; it couldn’t be that the producers decided
to switch up their roles.

What happened? Did Minagawa catch a cold or something? But still,

weren’t there other announcers besides Kunieda-san who could step
in and pinch hit for him? Ushio just hoped that nothing serious
happened, like he had fainted or had gotten into an accident before
the broadcast. He was worried as he watched Kunieda-san’s sports
news segment, but it went smoothly, and he did an excellent job.

“Why were you doing the sports news tonight?” Ushio asked when
Kei arrived home.

Kei scowled and answered, “Because that moron ruined his throat,
having too much fun at karaoke. Can you believe that? Argh, I want
to kill him.”

“Ohhh, so it wasn’t anything too serious, I’m glad. And you were able
to pay him back for everything he did for you.”

“I don’t owe him anything.”

Okay, now that I have that off my mind, let’s watch it again… Ushio
reached for the remote to try to replay The News, but Kei stole it
from him.

“Why are you watching it!?”

“Well, I was too worried about Minagawa, so I couldn’t focus on the

show.”

“Don’t waste your energy worrying about that useless thing, and pay
attention when you watch the show!”

“So which one do you want me to do? Want to eat dinner?”

“Yeah.”

Ushio heated some canned sardines in oil in a frying pan and placed
them on top of rice with julienned perilla leaves and grated radish. To
flavor it, he added soy sauce and plenty of sudachi lime.

“But anyway, so Kunieda-san also has a command on sports, huh?”

“You didn’t pay attention, did you?”

“I said that I watched it.”

Kei was like a Russian nesting doll who hid lots of different Kunieda-
sans inside of him, but it was pretty surprising to see a new one
show up out of the blue. Like Ushio had never expected to see this
type of pattern. With one presenter down, regardless of the camera
work or the news or the discussion, Ushio would think that the show
would feel more samey, but this new variation of Kunieda-san easily
made up for Tatsuki’s absence. Ushio probably wasn’t the only one
who thought that he was amazing.

“More.”

Kei held out the empty rice bowl that he finished in a blink of an eye.
“You can sure eat.”

“I’m exhausted from all the extra work I was forced to do!”

“Ohhh, okay, okay.”

Ushio decided for the second helping, he would make a fragrant

chabushi soup ochazuke, pouring green tea over rice with miso,
bonito flakes, and a mountain of green onions.

“Minagawa had to be depressed after the show, I bet.”

“Not all,” Kei answered, annoyed.

“That can’t be.”

“And yet it was. He acted like nothing happened. I wanted him to wail
more, despair more, throw a tantrum even. I even worked extra hard
because I was determined to make him cry.”

It was incredible how far apart the excellence of his performance and
the ridiculousness of his motivation were.

“Oh, so you gave it your all, thinking all about Minagawa~ So you
pictured his face in your mind, huh~”

“I-I didn’t mean it like that! Absolutely not!”

Ushio was satisfied after he saw Kei completely flustered, so he just

said, “Well, enough of that,” and let it go.

“That’s all you wanted to say!?”

“I’m pretty sure that Minagawa, on top of screwing up, had his own
pride and didn’t want to show Kunieda-san a moment of his
weakness.”
“That moron?” Kei snorted. “Get sad or depressed? He doesn’t have
any delicate settings to begin.”

For how intelligent he was, it was surprising how incredibly dense

Kunieda-san could be when it came to feelings that people kept to
themselves. Tatsuki always had a sunny and positive personality, but
in a profession where exposure was a presenter’s life, there was no
way he could think nothing when he watched his seat be stolen right
in front of him.

“No, I’m positive he’s whining somewhere to get his frustration off his
chest. To someone who’s not Kunieda-san and who Kunieda-san
doesn’t know.”

“…What are you trying to say?”

“That maybe you’re upset about it.”

“I’m not upset. And enough about him, okay!?”

“Ahhh, okay, okay, sorry, sorry.

“Quit repeating yourself when you talk.”

“I love you, I love you.”

“…That doesn’t even make sense in the conversation!!”

Ushio had been worried about Kei, who had been in a terrible mood
when he got back, but Ushio figured that his work here was done.

When Kei went to take his bath, Ushio sent a LINE message.

“I heard you ruined your throat? Are you okay?”

There was an immediate reply from Tatsuki.

“Oh, did you hear about it from Paisen~? I should be back to normal
after a night of sleep~”

They were only words on a screen, and he couldn’t infer anything

about Tatsuki’s true state of mind from them. Ushio thought about it
for a little, but he decided to wade right into it and wrote, “I wasn’t
referring to your throat. I was asking how you’re feeling mentally, if
that’s okay.” This time, it took a while for his response “I wasn’t okay
before, but I’m okay now” to arrive. Followed by “Oh, but if you’re
worried, I’ll be more than happy if you wanted to treat me to more
gyoza!”

Ushio laughed wryly, He’s really too clever, but he was relieved.
Kunieda-san really was dense, not realizing that there was an
existence that had made Tatsuki okay again.

Ushio put on his headphones that were connected to his computer

and listened to the file of Old Man Eba’s singing that he just recorded
the other day. When Ushio had asked if he could record him, Old
Man Eba had grumbled, “Don’t see why you’re asking,” but
apparently he had secretly practiced the song in his hospital room,
and when Ushio went to see him after his release from the hospital
to do the recording, the song had turned out great. There was a
unique quality to his voice that only someone older could produce.
When Ushio showed him his home recording equipment, he had
deflated and lost his enthusiasm however.

“What? You’re doing it here? I wanted to go to a proper studio! I

wanted to try singing like a pro wearing giant headphones in front of
a mic hanging from the ceiling!”

Ushio was glad that the old man throwing a tantrum unbecoming of
his wise years had recovered and was full of spirit. When he finished
his film, he wanted Tatsuki and Old Man Eba to see it. How they felt
or didn’t feel about it, that wasn’t for Ushio to say; he just simply
wanted them to watch it. That was his own selfish wish.

Although naturally, he had his heart set on one person he wanted to

show the film to first. Ushio closed his eyes. He listened closely.
There was a song weaving a story about days like dreams. To Ushio,
those days were every single moment that he experienced now.

(First published as a gift-with-purchase bonus paper for “Off Air

~Yes, No, or Maybe Half~” in August 2017.)
OFF OFF AIR

“Oh, hey, I heard that Tsuzuki-san’s video hit 5 million views in a

week.”

“Hnn.”

“And Tsuzuki-san won’t be seeing a single yen from it? He’s gotta be
a saint~ I watched it too, but tell him that I prefer things with more
bams and kapows and stuff, okay?”

“Watch your direct-to-video movies direct to death.”

“Ohh, Paisen, was that a pun just now? Better watch out, your age is
starting to show~”

“I was going for the alliteration!”1

“Oh, you trying for a rap? You’ve never taken a step into a club
before~ Senpai all the dissin’, kouhai never missin’, watch yo’ back,
yo, yeah!”

“Shut up, you stupid party animal, AKA drop dead.”

“There wasn’t even a single letter there that matched~ Anyway, so

the network has to shell out 5 million yen2 to charity? We must be
rolling in it~ They can afford to raise the expenses cap from 12,000
yen3 per night for our hotels.”

…Kei was suddenly taken aback by Tatsuki’s words.

Damn it, I shouldn’t have shown him Buddha’s mercy (I’m Buddha
here, okay) and introduced his film on the show.

“Oi.”

“Hmm?”

“What the hell are you gonna do about it if your film reaches 100
million views? That’ll mean 100 million yen from Asahi TV!”4

“They can afford it.”

How can you answer so blithely when it’s not even your wallet?
(Though it’s not my wallet either.)

“You’re gonna bankrupt the network!”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“Anyway, you know that the sponsors on my show are fronting part
of the capital, right? It’s tough business working with sponsors, you
know. I’m not allowed to eat while standing, cross any diagonal
crosswalks, walk into Shinjuku’s Kabukichou, all sorts of things, but
now I have the backing of huge companies with their pristine images
because I followed all their restrictions. So of course I’m gonna
exploit you for all your worth.”

“Weren’t those restrictions imposed on Singer Brother Daisuke?5

Anyway, it’s not like there’s no time limit imposed on the campaign
for the fundraiser. They can just announce that the campaign is over
whenever they need to end it.”
And then for some reason, Ushio started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, I just had a thought that you really love me… You don’t
need to worry, I won’t ever hit 100 million views. Your personal
estimation of me is really overblown.”

“I was talking hypothetically!!”

“I know, how about you start with yourself and stop watching the
video every day?”

“I don’t watch it every day!!”

“Aww, again with such a transparent lie~”

“Shut up!!”

“I love you even more, by the way.”

“L—”

Kei was about to yell, Liar, but he figured that it would be a trap if he
accepted it or denied it either way.

“L?” Ushio tilted his head and grinned back at him.

“Let me eat ushi!!”

“Hey, hey, you forgot the ‘o’.”

Let me eat ushi.

Let me eat Ushio.6

“Damn it, no! Ushi! Cow! Moo!”

“Okay, I’d like to eat cake without the ‘ke’ then~”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

“Aww, there you go lying again~”

“S-h-u-t- -u-p~”

And so another night passed between them, never changing, and yet
never the same.

(First published in a blog post celebrating the release of “Off Air

~Yes, No, or Maybe Half~” in August 2017.)
Honey View

The sharpened tip of the pencil became duller and duller as it wore
down. The graphite powder on the graph paper were mainly
meaningless sketches of circles, triangles, and rectangular boxes. If
he were a famous artist, maybe the sketches would go for millions or
tens of millions of yen at auction.7 Actually, works of art capable of
fetching money turned things without meaning into something with
meaning—which was fundamentally different from doodles made out
of pure restlessness… Uh, now he just confused himself. Ushio
leaned back against his desk chair and stretched his arms over his
head.

Ushio was currently in a state of frustration over his work. His

thoughts were in a haze, unable to shape and express exactly what
he wanted. There were times when he could forget about his work
for some time and come back later with a clearer mind, but right now
he only had one little thing he wanted to finish before he was
satisfied, and it made it hard for him to stop. It was times like these
that new and fresh ideas never seemed to jump out at him.

It was a frustration that he was familiar with. Eventually, something

would come to him—maybe it was good, maybe it was bad—and he
would repeat the process all over again. But right now he couldn’t
ease up on it yet. He strained his eyes, trying to dig deep to find the
thing inside of him as quickly as possible.

He only needed a little bit. It didn’t have to be a huge breakthrough.

If he could just add a tiny, new perspective that he hadn’t ever seen
before, he could somehow run with it—

“…Coffee.”

Kei plodded over out of bed, a sight that Ushio was familiar with, but
it was also very new in a sense.

“And food.”

It was 2 pm on a weekend, and apparently he couldn’t endure his

empty stomach any longer.

“Okie dokie~”

Ushio was just about to get something to drink himself. It wasn’t

good to have caffeine on an empty stomach, but Kei probably didn’t
need Ushio telling him that. Ushio headed to the kitchen next to his
room, set the coffee into the machine, and prepared a mug.

“Kunieda-san, I think you put your sweatshirt on backwards.”

“Oops.”

Kei would always pull out this navy-colored tracksuit jacket

sweatshirt whenever it was cold. It was likely a vintage piece from
his high school days. There were multiple snaps dotting the back of
the sweatshirt, probably used to keep a removable jersey number in
place, but Kei was wearing it so that it faced the front. He was
always too lazy to undo the zipper whenever he pulled the sweatshirt
over his head, so he had probably fumbled around half asleep and
put it on like that by mistake. It was a fresh view to see Kei with his
shirt on backwards, but unfortunately it was just too overused to be
of any inspiration… Oh, but when it came to the person inside the
shirt, he was more creative than anyone that Ushio knew.

“…What are you staring at me for?”

“Nothing, just thinking that you look good in sweats today too.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s better than not looking good in them. Best Sweatshirtist~ No,
wait, Hall of Fame Lifetime Achievement Award Sweatshirtist~”

“Shut up.”

“It’s like a runoff between you and TetsuTomo.”8

“Why the hell are you comparing me to comedians!?”

When Ushio handed Kei the mug of freshly brewed coffee, Kei
immediately tried to scurry to the sofa in the living room.

“…Hn?”

Ushio didn’t mind that Kei had no intentions of helping him prepare
lunch, but Ushio decided to grab Kei’s arm to detain him.

“What?”

“Nothing, just— Hey, stay still.”

Ushio stopped Kei from turning around and examined his back. The
person inside the sweatshirt had his back facing him, but the shirt
was actually the front, the zipper opening at the back of the neck. A
zipper joined the two sides of the sweatshirt, and the zipper tab
rested near the area where his neck met his back.
Ushio grabbed the little tab and pulled the zipper down. This favorite
sweatshirt of Kei’s had been worn for over ten years, and the zipper
still worked smoothly. Ushio was impressed at the quality of school
clothes despite its ready-to-wear mass production. But Kei didn’t
care how impressed Ushio was and he of course blew up at him.

“What the hell are you doing!?”

“I was just thinking that I can see your back.”

“Well, obviously! Anyway, it’s freezing!”

He could see Kei’s back. Normally Kei would wear a T-shirt

underneath the sweatshirt, but then Ushio remembered that he had
asked Kei if he had anything to wash before turning on the washer.
The rolypoly in bed had squirmed around to take the T-shirt off and
threw it at him.

“I see.”

Ushio pulled the zipper up and then pulled it back down again.

“Oi.”

“…This is pretty sexy.”

“Huh?”

“When I pull this down to reveal your back.”

When the worn-out, navy blue cloth parted, ivory-colored skin, cold
and never exposed to the sun, appeared. The outfit was stupid and
ridiculous, but it was a bewitching view.

“I see. There aren’t really any men’s clothing that open up from the
back like this.”
“Dammit, I said it’s freezing!”

It was a fresh, new look at something he was accustomed to seeing.

Modest, and yet refreshing.

Oh, I think I might have found something. I think it’s coming to me.

It was probably rude to call it a dumb coincidence, but well, that was
how things rolled from time to time.

“Okay then~”

“Hey.”

Ushio seized the mug from Kei’s hands and set it down in the
kitchen. Then he wrapped his arms around Kei’s shoulders and
dragged him away.

“Let’s get a round of exercise in first to get us refreshed~”

“What the hell are you talking about!? Dammit, hurry up and close
the zipper at my back!”

“I’ll close it for you in bed.”

And then he would open it all the way up.

Ushio didn’t know if that something would actually come to him or

exactly what he would create from it as a result—but he looked
forward to opening it up—just like the zipper on Kei’s sweatshirt. Oh,
but Ushio already had full knowledge of the contents (more than the
person himself), but he still really looked forward to it. Especially
since it was Kunieda-san.

“Hmm, I think it’s your win after all.”

“What the fuck are you rambling about!? Anyway! Where’s the
food!?”

“If we exercise first and work up an appetite, we’ll enjoy the food
more.”

And well, among the bedsheets, still warm from Kei’s body heat,
there was a new wave to crest.

(First published as a blog post celebrating additional printings of “Off

Air ~Yes, No, or Maybe Half~” in October 2017.)

Translation Notes

In the Japanese, Kei is going for the rhyme, but alliteration is the
closest fit I can get with the English.
5 million yen – Approx. $50k USD.
12,000 yen – Approx. $120 USD.
100 million yen – Approx. $1 million USD.
Singer Brother Daisuke was a popular host on NHK’s Okaasan to
Issho (Together With Mommy), and there was a huge uproar when a
list of things he was contractually prohibited from doing came out to
the public.
In Japanese, ‘o’ is an honorific usually placed in front of the food
name as a show of respect. Examples would be oushi (beef) and
okome (rice). You can see where Kei’s head went and how Ushio
anticipated it, lol.
1 to 10 million yen – Approx. $10-100k USD.
TetsuTomo refers to the comedy duo Tetsu and Tomo. Their
appearance seems to involve wearing sweats/tracksuits all the time.
Story 4: Other Short Stories – Part 3

Translator Note: This part contain ficlets written for “Daydream

Believer” from Off Air Volume 1. The final ficlet contains spoilers for
Volume 2 of “Side Profiles and Irises.”
Weather Forecaster Boyfriend

“The weather today is a complete reversal from yesterday. You can

really feel the bite of the winter cold.”

“They do say that the start of spring cycles between three cold days
and four warm days. The weather has truly seen some wild
fluctuations.”

“Very true. This is the period where seasons come and go depending
on the clash between the winter and spring pressure fronts. Kunieda-
san, were you caught out in the cold with a spring coat?”

“Oh, I am quite all right. I wore my winter coat today.”

“To all our viewers out there, please be sure to follow Kunieda-san’s
example and check the weather forecast frequently. Here we have
tomorrow’s forecast for the Kantou region…”

Well, yeah, he watched the weather forecasts. He had to be aware

of the weather—after all, it was part of his job. He had to come up
with 2 or 3 lines of chatter to exchange with the weather announcer
every day as a segue into the weather forecast, and it was actually
quite difficult. There was the possibility of saying something incorrect
unless he took the time to prepare some small talk; for example, The
wind was strong today, but you could feel the warmth of spring in the
air, or For a few hours I didn’t see a single cloud in the sky around
the Asahi TV building, etcetera, etcetera. However, the decisions
related to Kunieda-san’s attire weren’t made using the guidance of
the weather forecasts.
“I don’t think you’ll need a scarf today.”

Kei had woken up and around the time he ate his breakfast, Ushio
made a comment, and Kei had given a half-hearted grunt in reply.
He hadn’t paid attention to what Ushio said; he just followed what he
suggested. And Ushio hadn’t been wrong.

“I think you should be okay with a light coat.”

“You should protect against the cold more.”

Pretty much like this. Kei figured that Ushio had listened to the
weather forecast as he stood in the kitchen preparing breakfast (in
other words, while Kei was still sleeping).

But then one day, there was a rain shower when Kei was outside on
assignment. The temperatures had been fluctuating up and down,
but the weather itself had been nice and clear for a while. And then
they had an unexpected rainfall.

“Did the weather forecast say anything about rain today?” the
director grumbled from the shelter of an underground shopping
center. It was an early morning schedule that had required Kei to
head directly to the location from home, but he had been too busy to
check the news. He had thought that it would be fine because Ushio
hadn’t said anything. When Kei returned home that night, he
complained at him.

“Oi! Tell me if it’s going to rain!”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“The weather for the day.”

“How am I supposed to know? I never check the weather.”

“Huh?”
“Because I work from home.”

Yeah, Kei knew that. But still.

“Haven’t you been telling me when I need to dress warmer or when I

don’t…?”

But it was true that Ushio’s advice for Kei’s clothing was mainly
related to the temperature and not the rainfall. So had it simply been
because of the consecutive clear days?

“Oh, that,” Ushio answered lightly. “I wasn’t doing the weather

forecast. You were.”

“Me?”

Was he saying that Kei gave him the forecast while he was barely
awake and mumbling? He didn’t remember gaining any
superpowers.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ll tell you if you can say very cutely, ‘Please tell me♥’”

“Why the hell should I act cute for you when I didn’t ask you to look
for it!?”

“I see.”

“So hurry up and tell me,” Kei said impatiently.

Ushio laughed and replied, “It’s not really a forecast. Maybe more
like a divination? It’s closer to fortune telling.”

“I wasn’t doing anything.”

“Yeah, they’re just things that I noticed. When I wake up and see
Kunieda-san’s sleeping positions.”

“Huh…?”

“Even with the air conditioner running, there are still little things that
make a difference. For example, when you’re a rolypoly bundled
under the blankets and covers, the temperature won’t rise much over
the day. When it’s just the blanket, it’ll be a little warmer. When you
fling them all off, it’s a nice spring day. If you only have your feet
sticking out, you won’t need a scarf. I never really checked if I was
right or not, but you would follow what I said, so I figured I wasn’t too
far off.”

“…Hnn.”

So it turned out that it wasn’t much of anything. …No wait, it was

freaking embarrassing. Especially when he thought about how he
was being observed in such a defenseless state. But it wasn’t like
Ushio had done anything in particular to Kei, which made it harder to
complain at him. Plus it was out of the question to wake up earlier to
get ready for work.

“See, I thought you’d get embarrassed, so that’s why I didn’t say

anything.”

“Shut up. Don’t patronize me.”

“You’re so cute~”

“Shut up. I want dinner.”

“I just told you what you wanted to know~”

“S-h-u-t- -y-o-u-r- -m-o-u-t-h!!”

And so what would the Kunieda forecast be for tomorrow?

(First published in a blog post as a short story for spring in March
2018.)
POP LIFE

At the end of April, Kei suddenly handed him a pedometer. A

pedometer, completely ordinary in every way; no matter how he
looked at it, it was a plain old pedometer.

“What’s this?” Ushio naturally asked.

“For you,” Kei briefly answered.

“For me? Uh, but why?”

“A birthday present?”

“Uh, it’s not my birthday.”

It was clear that from the questioning tone of voice that it was
nothing but an excuse that Kei had made up on the spot.

“It’s good for your health.”

“I never thought I’d hear those words come out of Kunieda-san’s

mouth.”

“My health results are all A’s,” Kunieda-san bragged, congratulating

himself. “If a grade of S existed above an A, naturally it would be all
S’s.”

“Even though you’re pretty much an M.”

“Ugh, I freaking hate your stupid dirty jokes like that! Whatever, just
carry it with you wherever you go. Your task is to get 8,000 steps per
day, got it?”
“Whaa?”

If he were given an Apple Watch, that would be one thing, but this
was just a cheaply made device with no gimmicks, a rarity in these
times. Even if it was a gift from his boyfriend, to be honest, he
couldn’t bring himself to be enthused about it.

“What? You don’t look happy.”

“It’s not that I’m unhappy, I just don’t get it? I mean, it’s not like I can
catch Pokemon on it. There’re no bumps, it doesn’t vibrate, and
there’s no remote either.”

“I told you to quit with the dirty jokes, dammit!!”

“Awww, I was just saying that it’d be nice if it had a massage

function, that’s all. What were you thinking about, Kunieda-san?”

“You’re so freaking transparent!” With his face beet red, Kei slapped
the table and issued Ushio an order. “Anyway, you better walk. Even
if it rains, even if it’s windy out, even if it’s so humid that your hair
gets out of control. 8,000 steps per day is your minimum target.”

What was with this “task” and “target” stuff? Sure, he had heard that
people should walk 8,000 steps per day to maintain their health, but
every year Ushio would see the doctor for his annual checkups, and
he hadn’t had any problems.

Ushio wasn’t satisfied by the explanation, but he started to take

walks with the pedometer on him anyway. His work fundamentally
kept him at home at a desk, and so he already knew that he had to
consciously make an effort to get up and move his body. He liked to
exercise, and when he felt like it, he would go jogging and such, but
during the last spurts before his deadlines, most days he would
barely make it out to the nearest supermarket or convenience store
(because he couldn’t skip out on his duties taking care of the prince).
That was why Ushio figured that it was fine to set a rule for himself
and continue this new daily routine, but as he walked the promenade
along the canal, he did think, What the hell is he thinking? Ushio saw
a red light up ahead and relaxed his pace, and for no particular
reason, he looked over at the water. The reflection of the sky and
buildings flickered on the surface, the colors dull and tepid.

…Hmm?

Suddenly a thought entered his head, and Ushio immediately

grabbed the handrail and bent over to look down into the water. The
action was so abrupt that it startled the people and dogs passing by
on the street, but Ushio didn’t pay any attention to them.

Did I gain weight or something?

Uh, but it wasn’t like his clothes fit tighter. And he hadn’t needed to
change the hole he used on his belt. Yeah, he had nothing. However,
just like how there were things about Kei that Ushio knew better than
him, there were naturally things about Ushio that Kei knew better
than Ushio. Maybe Kei had noticed a change (something that he
wasn’t happy about), but he couldn’t say it directly to him, so he
decided to give him the pedometer? No way, Ushio immediately told
himself. That would never happen. If Kei was unhappy about
something, he would clearly say it. However, from Ushio’s point of
view, sometimes Kei could have a strange shyness or delicate side
to him… With some slight doubts in his heart, Ushio faithfully
continued his 8,000-step daily routine. Setting aside the issue of
body image, he did it simply because it felt good to get out for
exercise. Even if it pained him to step away from work sometimes,
after spending an hour walking outside, getting some sun, feeling the
breeze, and working up a sweat, any useless thoughts in his head
would be cleared out, and he felt refreshed. Maybe because of the
fresh starts between his head and body, he felt like his concentration
had improved, and by the time he settled into his walking routine,
Ushio was no longer concerned if Kei had any motives or not behind
all of this.
And then it was August. Kei came home with a large gift bag looking
proud of himself.

“What’s that?”

“Hey, don’t touch it.”

“Huh?”

Kei placed the bag on the table and pulled out a box from it. The
wrapping paper had the words Congratulations, Goals
Accomplished, and Asahi TV HR Department on it. Goals? As in
ratings? But from the HR Department? That was a bit strange… But
Kei ignored Ushio’s questioning looks and tore into the paper without
hesitation to lift the lid off of the box. Inside was a large beautiful
muskmelon.

“Oi, what’s the congratulations for?”

“For accomplishing health goals.”

“Huh?”

“Racked up 8,000 steps a day for 3 months.”

“Oi.”

Ushio finally figured out Kei’s motivations behind the pedometer.

“So you used me, huh?”

“It’s all self-reported, so there were people who completely made up

their numbers, but I reported all my results correctly every day. And
now my hard work has come to fruition.”

Uh, but my feet were the ones that racked up the numbers though?
“But you used a proxy.”

“It’s their own mistake for using such a faulty system in the first
place. But next year they’re switching to an app.”

Kei could probably walk the 8,000 steps per day normally between
his commute to work and the assignments for his job. However, he
holed up at home on the weekends, which meant he couldn’t clear
the “every day” requirement, so he had made Ushio go out and walk,
and then he secretly checked the pedometer every day to get the
numbers.

What the hell, here I was worrying about what was wrong with me.

“You little bastard.” Ushio pinched both of Kei’s cheeks.

“Ow! What? Of course, I’ll split it with you, okay? You can have the
seeds.”

“Split it with me? Why are you acting like you’re doing me a favor?
Should I go out and buy you something bumpy that vibrates?”

“Pervert!”

Well, Ushio had learned to enjoy his walks, and he wasn’t seriously
mad at Kei, but he made sure to collect on Kei’s debt with his body.
When he woke up the next morning—well, the next afternoon—it
was Saturday, and Ushio decided to make a luxurious adult version
of melon cream sodas while the sun was still overhead.

He cut the melon in half and used a spoon to scrape out the portion
with the seeds that the prince had generously bestowed him. He
filtered it through a strainer and collected the juice from the richest
part of the melon attached to the seeds. He mixed the melon juice
with club soda and whiskey and topped it off with a scoop of vanilla
ice cream. Of course, they would eat the rest of the melon sliced.
Yeah, that looks delicious.

It was a transparent amber color with a soft hint of green.

However, Ushio did feel that it lacked a little something. He missed

the cream sodas from the old-style coffee shops that were a bright
electric green with a Maraschino cherry on top. Despite the artificial
color, it sparkled with an undeniable charm no matter how much he
wanted to resist it. It kind of reminded him of Kunieda Kei, actually.

“Oiiii, I prepared snacks.”

Ushio called out towards the bed. He knew that Kei would refuse to
go, but tonight, he would try inviting him out for a walk together. The
ice inside the glass rocked, almost as if laughing.

(First published in Shousetsu Dear Plus Autumn 2018 issue 20th

Anniversary Extra Short Story Fair in September 2018.)
Expectations for the Near Future

(Note: This short story contains references and spoilers for Volume 2
of “Side Profiles and Irises.”)

“I heard that China’s implementing AI announcers. You better watch

out, Kunieda-san.”

“Why the hell would my job be taken from me by the likes of AI? It
can’t even come close to my looks.”

“I don’t know, I feel like looks are something you can actually
improve upon.”

“Plus AI won’t ever trip over its words~”

“I don’t trip over my words either. Why are you even trying to say to
me, you bastard?”
“Nothing much~ Just that you tripped a little over ‘Department of
Defense’ the other day. I heard you start to say ‘Department of Da
Fence.’ Right, Nacchan?”

“Huh? Uh, I-I dunno…”

“Oi, Kitarou, what are you hemming and hawing for?”

“I’m sorry, you didn’t trip over it. You really, really didn’t.”

“Anyway, I’m the one always saving this idiot’s ass from his stupid
gaffes just a breath away from causing a broadcast incident. Just the
other day…”

“We’re taking a point of personal privilege here, but today we have

results for a survey topic I’d like to introduce. The topic is:
Announcers who would like –blank- for Christmas. …Minagawa-san,
what do you think the survey question is?”

“Hmm, maybe genetic material?”

“We are not speaking of a ghost town. All right, let’s reveal the
answers.”

“But how was I supposed to guess ‘Announcers who like surprises

for Christmas’? What kind of survey question is that~?”

“Congratulations on first place, Announcer Minagawa.”

“Oh, thank you~”

“Yeah, I’d say you create surprises every day. Or maybe more like
accidents? Scandals?”

“Ugh, you don’t have to make your blunders in front of me! Oh, I
know, we should switch you out for an AI.”

“Wha? But wouldn’t that eliminate the meaning of your existence

then, Senpai?”

“I don’t go on TV just to save your damn ass!”

“Seriously, if they ever expand the AI announcer concept, I think they

should broadcast exchanges like this one.”

“Oh, yeah, it does feel very human, doesn’t it…”

“Oh, right. With an AI Kunieda-san, there’s no need to fix any bed

hair or wipe away any drool.”

“Are you still on that? Give it a rest already.”

“But an AI Kunieda-san won’t act all cute, trying to hide his wool
underwear and stomach warmer from me~”

“AI doesn’t even wear wool underwear!”

There was no need for underwear to begin with.

(First published as a blog post celebrating additional printings of

“Yes, No, or Maybe Half~” in November 2018.)
Story 5: Rose-Colored Pop

Author’s Note: It’s so pink and blue! I love this book with the cover’s
fantastic colors and composition. Plus the design of the bed is
completely fit for a prince. The three short stories have a carefree
summer feel, and I’m really happy with the way that they came
together as a book.

Illustrator’s Note: I was thinking about certain yellow naughty

children jumping on the bed when I drew this, but when I went back
to compare the two, it turned out to be very different.1 Tsuzuki-san
looks like he’s being viewed through a door viewer. I’m really happy
with how pretty the reddish pink turned out with the printing.

First published in 2016 in the doujinshi Rose-Colored Pop.

Translator Note: This set of stories takes place in the middle of

“Daydream Believer” in the summer. One story is about the part-time
job that Ushio takes while he works on his personal project. It is also
briefly mentioned in “Secrets and Irises” from Volume 2 of the
spinoff.

Part 1: Romantic Mode

He was assigned an overnight shoot for a story. At Hokkaido. It was

a whirlwind schedule, departing early Saturday morning and
returning Sunday evening. They would shoot a sponsored marketing
piece where they collaborated with the local tourism industry. Just by
introducing the best summer travel spots, all their expenses were
covered, and the show even got money for doing the piece—it was
like some kind of alchemy. But naturally, Kei was only going so that
he could be paid for working extra. It was times like these that he
wished he had gone independent so that he could charge them
exorbitant appearance fees. His moronic junior colleague wouldn’t
shut up about sea urchin, salmon roe, and LeTAO,2 but obviously
Kei ignored him.

“Hokkaido sounds really nice. It’s gotta be cooler there too.”

If it were a leisurely shoot around Sapporo, Otaru, and Hakodate, he

would agree with Ushio’s words.

“Rausu is so freaking far. And it’ll be mostly raw.”

“Seafood?”

“No, raw nature stuff like whale watching… No matter how hard I
work, if we can’t see anything, then we can’t see anything. I hate
stuff like that.”

“What happens if you don’t see anything?”

“The video library will have to step in.”

“Since you have a backup plan, that makes it easier.”

It would be simple to say, But you can see beautiful scenes like this
too, but he was in charge of attracting visitors to the tourist spots,
and it would sound too pitiful. Plus it wasn’t worth it to go all the way
there for that. It was no fault of Kei’s abilities, of course, but what if
the staff started to think that he had no luck, like someone who
attracted rain wherever they went, and he didn’t want that to happen.

“You’ll be fine,” Ushio assured him easily. “I’m sure all the wild
animals will want a glimpse of Kunieda-san himself.”

How rare of an animal am I supposed to be?

When Kei complained that he would have to leave again after

returning home for a few hours from his Friday night broadcast to
make the 5 am meetup time for their 7 am flight from Haneda to
Memanbetsu, Ushio said simply, “Why don’t you stay over at the
network? That way you have time to rest.”

“No way, I’d go home even if it was only for an hour.”

If he didn’t have a moment to switch and reset from his work mode, it
would exhaust him.

“You’re really a homebody~”

“There’s nothing for you to smirk about, okay!?”

“Yeah, yeah, got it. …By the way, I need to stay overnight for work
that day too.” They were on the bed next to each other, and Ushio
reached his hand out to touch Kei’s cheek.

“…What kind of work?”

Even though Kei knew that nothing would happen, it made him
uneasy when he heard that Ushio would be away from their home for
something. What if he didn’t come back again?

“Don’t make that face.”

“I’m not.”

“Oh? So what face is it?”

“Shut up!”

Ushio laughed as he pulled Kei with all of his insults into his arms.

“What’s so damn funny!?”

“I wanted to save it as a surprise, but when you look so sad and

helpless, it makes me feel bad. I gotta say, it’s pretty hard to keep
secrets from each other when we live together.”
“Oi, what are you talking about?”

“I’m going on that trip too. The shoot in Hokkaido.”

“Huh?” Kei pulled himself away from Ushio without thinking. “Why?”

“I asked Nishikido-san to let me know if he hears about any small

temp jobs, and he called me about it. I guess I’ll be another camera
operator slash assistant?”

“Ugh, so that old man’s the camera operator on the shoot…”

“What’s so bad about it? He’s really good. He’ll make Kunieda-san’s
sexy slideshow video turn out gorgeous.”

“I’m not a damn pin-up model. Ughh, now I want to do this even
less…”

“But I’ll be there.”

He was utterly shameless.

“I personally like Ol’ Nishikido-san~ He’s really cool. I’d love to be

like him one day.”

Kei could support him more if he wanted to be like the handsome

gorilla from Nagoya.

“If you do, I’m breaking up with you.”

“There you go again. But I’m looking forward to Hokkaido~ Should I

make us a personalized guidebook of our plans?”

“There’s the shooting schedule, you know.”

The schedule was jam-packed, and he thought that there was
nothing fun about going on a trip with some of the staff coming
along, but Ushio was in a good mood, and he came to snuggle up to
Kei again. In many different ways, Kei was here feeling that the
increased need for vigilance was going to make it harder for him
than usual, but he closed his eyes and said nothing.

On the day of the trip, Ushio had to check the equipment and gear
for the shoot, and he left the apartment earlier than Kei. About an
hour later, Kei caught up with Ushio at the network, which was a
strange feeling, but he feigned a look of innocence and greeted
everyone, “Good morning.” There was Nishikido and Ushio on the
cameras, the field director, lights, sound, an AD, and Kunieda-san for
a total of 7 people on the shoot, and when they arrived at their
destination, they would also have a guide person and a driver.

On the flight out, Ushio sat directly behind Kei next to Nishikido, and
they mainly—no, they essentially talked about video equipment the
entire time.

“I noticed that there was a drone in our bags. Would it be okay for
me to try it out?”

“Sure.”

“Awesome! What’s the SLR for?”

“For normal video use. The sides of the frame are slightly out of
focus, so it gives the shot some unique character. I think it’s a good
fit for a travel piece.”

“Oh, like that style that got popularized with Another Sky.”
“Yeah. But then you get disappointed comments like why are you
using a camera that amateurs use? So that’s one drawback for using
one on a shoot.”

“Hmm, yeah, they really expect you to shoulder the huge heavy
cameras… But you don’t normally use equipment like this for regular
news coverage, do you? Don’t you feel pretty excited for this?”

“Stupid, get some sleep while you can. The schedule’s gonna be real
tough today.”

“I will~”

He was like a puppy. If anything, Kei had thought that Ushio was like
an older brother character, but he seemed to really like befriending
older people like this, someone with an air of a master or a teacher.
He also got along well with Shitara. Almost like it was nice to be
around a father figure—but it wasn’t something for Kei to
psychoanalyze. Kei was just annoyed to see Ushio spend time with
someone other than Kei and enjoy himself in a different way than he
normally did with him. That was all.

The first day’s plan was to drive an hour from Memanbetsu and to
charter a boat from the western coast of Shiretoko Peninsula which
jutted out from the east side of Hokkaido, and from there they would
view brown bears, dolphins, whales, and orcas from the ocean.
However, that was only if their luck was very good.

They boarded a small yacht, but only Ushio took a much smaller
motorboat to get other angles and footage for the piece. Ushio
anticipated and quickly took care of all the menial work that he
needed to do, and Kei was grateful that he at least didn’t have to
listen to Nishikido’s angry shouting all the way here under this
northern sky.
“We boarded a ship from Utoro on Shiretoko Peninsula, and we are
heading towards a spot where we can see brown bears. We are in
the Sea of Okhotsk right now, and it is beautiful with its deep blue
waters. Did you know that there is an official color name called
Okhotsk Blue? If you take a look at the swatch that I’m holding, this
is that particular blue. It is said to express various blues found in
nature like the ice floes and clear skies of winter, but the blue of the
sea is a much deeper blue than the color depicted here. The breeze
feels wonderful out on the sea.”

While he talked, he thought to himself.

…Ugh, it’s hard to work like this.

A little ways away, Ushio was manning the camera in the motorboat
that ran parallel to the yacht, and he would always enter Kei’s field of
vision. If he were reading the news in the studio he could switch over
to work mode without a second thought—the studio was Kunieda-
san’s homebase; it was his domain—but here it felt unsettling to
have Ushio follow him around on this fluff travel piece. To be frank, it
was a little embarrassing. Like he was a student whose parents
came to watch him at school. Plus, Ushio was moving all around that
tiny little boat, bending forwards, bending backwards, positioning his
body in all these different ways as he filmed; and though he wore a
life jacket, it made Kei nervous just to watch him. None of the
camera operators had to do that in the studio.

“—Now, we shall pass through a number of coastal sights and head

for the most famous brown bear viewing spot of all, Rusha Bay. Will
we see any wild brown bears, I wonder?”

“Cut, that was great. Uh, let’s see, what’s next again? The Maiden’s
Tears? Right, right, let’s go up to the waterfall and film a comment.”

“All right.”
The yacht went around the Shiretoko coastal cliffs, and they quickly
spotted their first objective on the rocks: the brown bear.

“Oh, look, we’ve spotted the brown bear. They appear to be a family
of three. They look quite different from the Asian black bear that you
can see at the zoo. Even from a distance, you can feel its impressive
presence.”

With this for now, they could avoid striking out with all three whiffs,
which was a relief.

The sea was relatively calm, but with the small yacht and the
numerous tasks at hand, the AD started getting seasick after about
30 minutes. And of course, this job wasn’t one that afforded
compassion, and Nishikido yelled at the poor guy, “Go over to that
end! Don’t puke on the boat!”

When they wrapped around Cape Shiretoko at the northernmost tip

of the peninsula to head towards the eastern coastline, they came
across a pod of 5 or 6 dolphins.

Great, that’s two down, two more to go. This might be more
satisfying than Pokemon.

However, now that they were on the open sea, the waves became
much rougher. The AD clung to the edge of the boat, completely
useless as a pair of hands, while the director pressed a hand to his
mouth and said, “Yeah, I don’t feel so good.” The light and sound
technicians had essentially become zombies. Even the nature guide
looked pretty grim as he said, “It’s pretty rough today,” so it was only
natural. Waves carried them over, waves knocked them around, and
water splashed their faces.

“Do you think we’ll see whales here?” the director asked the guide in
a feeble voice.

“Well, with nature, you can never say what will happen…”
That was the damn truth.

“According to the schedule, we’re supposed to have another 30

minutes out here on the boat, but should we go back to shore for
now? We were able to get brown bears and dolphins today; that
should be enough footage for us.”

Nishikido scowled with a grunt and looked at Kei. “What do you want
to do?” he asked. “You look pretty sick yourself.”

“Oh, no, I’m all right…”

Tch, so he noticed. Kei was normally fine with motion sickness, but
maybe because he had been constantly moving in vehicles since
dawn after a late night, Kei was also feeling pretty queasy. Actually,
Nishikido was the weird one here, all calm and unaffected.

But even if they stuck it out, the possibility that they would get all the
footage that they wanted wasn’t very high. He wanted to avoid at all
costs a situation where he vomited in front of people, and since the
crew were down and out for the count first, it wouldn’t be his fault for
retiring early—… As Kei brushed a strand of hair blown loose from
the wind, that was when he locked eyes with Ushio who was on the
boat next to them. But it wasn’t a distance where Ushio could hear
their conversations, and he looked pretty worried.

Kei made his decision right then and there.

“Let’s continue. As long as there is no danger, let’s use up all of our

allocated time here.”

“Got it,” Nishikido said with a nod.

The director was on the verge of tears as he shouted, “Seriously!?”

“Hey, you damn knucklehead! The presenter’s showing us his grit
here, so you better pull yourself together!”

Seriously, Nishikido was the only one here who was fine. Maybe
because he wasn’t human?

“But isn’t Kunieda-san as pale as a sheet too~? Let’s just head

back~”

“Is it so pale that you see it on camera?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“I understand.”

Kei suddenly used his hands to smack his cheeks, alternating them
back and forth before rubbing them briskly. Everyone was damn
useless on this boat, so he went inside the cabin of the yacht himself
and brought out two warm plastic bottles to press them to his face.

“Please man the camera,” he said, putting on a smile. “That way it

will distract from the waves.”

“Got it.”

The waves repeatedly lifted the boat and dropped it for the next
wave to come. There was no time to settle down. Honestly, Kei felt
nauseated just breathing, but he forced his stomach to stay down.
He took a number of deep breaths. He wasn’t seasick, he wasn’t
seasick. He wouldn’t vomit, he wouldn’t vomit. Kunieda-san would
never be caught vomiting in public. He forced himself to focus on
other things. The color of the sky, the chill of the wind, the sound of
water crashing on the hull of the boat.

They were close to Kunashir Island. It was part of the “Northern

Territories” that he had learned about in his school textbooks, and it
felt strange to see it right in front of his eyes. Also that Ushio was
with him at this northernmost limit of the country.

A round black wave seemed to surface from the sea.

“I see one!” the guide shouted. At the same time, the wave spewed
water from the surface like a water gun. It was a whale.

“A whale has just appeared about 15 meters away. Are you able to
identify the type of whale that it is?”

“I believe that it is a sperm whale.”

“That would make it a very large whale. It is blowing water from its
blowhole. The scene looks just like an illustration that you see in
picture books.”

Kei had no particular interest in nature documentaries, but there was

an impressive presence to the huge glistening black body that
almost gave him goosebumps. It was simply an instinct that when
faced with a creature to wonder if it might not bare its fangs in threat.
The crew who had been puking up their guts also took the time to
admire the view.

Ushio was—manning the camera wholeheartedly. Kei could see it in

the profile of his face. His eyes were sparkling so much, he could
probably swim over just to get up close to it. Oh, you’re really having
fun here, Kei thought. I’m just being stubborn because it’s my job,
but you’re simply having fun. He was just enjoying the scenery and
the creatures that he had never seen before. That difference
between them, that faraway look from next to him—those things
didn’t make Kei feel uneasy. Ushio would probably use the things
that he saw today to make something again. Because Ushio wouldn’t
be who he was if he didn’t.

The whale didn’t last a minute on the surface before diving

underwater again. It flicked its large tail fin like a parting gift.
“Oh, and now it’s gone… And what’s this? Is there something over
there?”

About 50 meters away from the whale, there were several creatures
in the water.

“Can we get a little closer?”

He had thought that they were dolphins, but he spied the two tones
of black and white in the waves. They were orcas.

“Amazing,” the guide said, excitedly watching through a pair of

binoculars, even though he should have been used to this. “It is
incredibly rare to be able to see all these sights in a single trip! Today
is a full-course meal!”

Ushio’s prophecy (?) had been right.

Man, I’m rolling in it.

Actually, if they were to air everything as-is, Kei felt like they would
be accused of staging the footage. His nausea was still terrible, but
he had to stick it out a bit longer.

“This is wonderful. Even the orcas came out for us today.”

Kunieda-san gave a beaming smile to the camera.

After their boat trip was over, their demanding schedule had them
make a 6-hour drive from Rausu to Tomamu in central Hokkaido. Kei
didn’t want people talking to him, so he pretended to sleep in the
back row of the minivan taxi and listened to the conversation in the
front rows.
“Nishikido-san, did you decide to take a mentee?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean, for the maestro to bring his own camera assistant like this…
Tsuzuki-kun, was it? You should come with us on other shoots~ It’s
rare to see Nishikido-san in such a good mood.”

“Hey, quit running your mouths! Anyway, he’s not a camera operator.
He’s more of a director than anything.”

“Seriously~? Mind putting together the rough cut for us?”

“Sure. How long is the video supposed to be?”

“Usually 7 minutes, but you’ll have to negotiate with the producer.”

“7 minutes, huh? That’s pretty short. Well, it does feel pretty long
when I’m actually putting it together though, but we collected all that
footage and most of it will get left on the cutting room floor, huh? It
doesn’t bother me when I film and cut everything myself, but it does
feel a bit sad.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Only incompetent directors eat up all the time with
slow-motion zooms and stuff.”

“What? Are you referring to me?”

The minivan zipped along the wide open road with no traffic signals
to stop at and wait. Kei was nodding off a little, but he wasn’t asleep.
He was leaned against the window with his arms crossed in this
delicate state while the other crew members slept. In between the
snoring, he heard Ushio and Nishikido talking.

“Don’t you get seasick? You look full of energy,” Nishikido

commented.
“I’ve never gotten motion sickness or drunk even. I’m not quite sure
what it feels like.”

“Well that’s lucky of you. I’ve puked my guts out all over when I was
still new at the job. It’s even worse through the lens of a camera. You
must be built for it. Be thankful to your parents.”

“That’s true,” Ushio answered honestly.

“I saw the films that you made.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“It was, hmm… Surprising, I guess? It was all delicate detailed work.
Not that it’s good or bad, just that it’s a world that I don’t really
understand. If you think about it, everything’s a fabrication,
essentially? I don’t understand the feeling of wanting to film
something that’s fabricated.”

They were frank words that could be shared because they worked in
similar lines of work. Ushio probably wasn’t offended or hurt by it
either.

“That’s why I decided to call you about this job. I was curious how
you’d film something that was truly there in the world.”

“To be honest, I didn’t really know how to shoot it. Kind of like the
frame was too wide, but regardless of where I decided to frame it, it
all looked like beautiful scenery to me, and that was the hardest part
about it. But I learned a lot from today.”

“Then I’m glad.”

“When you say that the films that I make are all a fabrication… I think
that is what I like about what I do. That I can bend everything to my
own vision. That this tiny world at least moves the way that I want it
to move.”

“But like that, you won’t run into anything from the outside world that
goes beyond the things inside your own brain.”

“Hmmm… Well, I wouldn’t say that everything’s perfect, but yeah, I

see what you’re saying.”

“Someday, I think it’d be good for you to try filming real people.
You’re still young. You don’t have to box yourself in right now.”

“—That’s true…”

Kei cracked his eyes open. Outside the window was a pitch
blackness that could never be possible in the city, and his exhausted
face reflected back at him against the darkness.

It was 10 pm when they arrived in Tomamu, and they had the

wonderful plan of waking up at 3 am to see the sea of clouds at
Unkai Terrace tomorrow. They checked in at the hotel and split up
immediately afterwards. Kei was the only one allotted a single room
for the night, and he quickly took a shower and flopped face down on
the bed to review the script for the shoot tomorrow. That was when
he got a LINE message.

“Can I come over for roll call?”

“I’m the only one here.”

He didn’t give Ushio a yes or a no, but soon he heard a knock at the
door. Kei cracked open the door about 3 centimeters and asked,
“There’s no one with you, right?”
“Everyone’s out like a light. You should get to sleep too.”

“Then don’t barge over!”

Ushio noticed the script for the shoot and asked, “Are you reviewing
for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, don’t disturb me.”

“I won’t, I won’t,” Ushio said, following Kei to the bed.

Kei was wary of him, but Ushio sat down on the bed while Kei
sprawled over it, and he picked up Kei’s foot. Ushio rolled up the
sleeves of his yukata provided by the hotel.

“I’ll give you a massage. This whole day you’ve been standing or
sitting in a cramped space. It’s bad for your circulation.”

“The same goes for you too.”

“But I’m not standing in front of the cameras.”

Ushio rubbed both of his thumbs into the calf of Kei’s leg. It hurt a
little, but it felt good. He did feel like his stagnated blood had been
pushed up to start flowing again.

“Yeah, you seem tense… You’re this exhausted, but you still do your
job properly. Everyone says how easy it is to work with Kunieda-san
out on location. That you always memorize the scripts without
missing a single word when you’re there on a shoot.”

“Uh, that’s my job. I’m just doing it.”

“Yeah, but most people can’t execute, even if they understand with it
their heads. You felt seasick on the boat, right? You suddenly
injected a fighting spirit into yourself, and it surprised me.”
“Because my face had turned all pale.”

“Don’t overdo it, okay? But I know that even if your stomach feels
like heaving, you’ll push yourself through it anyway.”

“Thanks to me, you could see all the wildlife.”

“That’s true. They were all brought to the surface to get a peek of
Kunieda-san.”

“It was amazing,” Ushio said, and he swung Kei’s lower leg around in
small circles fixed at the knee.

“Okay, next leg now.”

After Ushio finished massaging both of his legs, Kei clearly felt
lighter.

“Good work, you can go now.”

“What did you say?”

Ushio tickled the sole of his foot, and Kei yelped out loud.

“Stop it!”

“You seem pretty lively. I thought that you would fall asleep in the
middle of it.”

“You criminal!”

“Stupid, I just wanted to lull you to sleep. Should I sing you a

lullaby?”

“No. …If I close my eyes, I’ll get sick from feeling the waves bob
again.”
Kei very much wanted to sleep, but without anything fixed in his
view, the sensations of rocking, floating, and sinking assaulted his
body, and it felt pretty terrible.

“What am I going to do with you?”

Ushio dropped Kei’s foot and rolled over next to Kei on the bed. He
turned Kei sideways and lifted him to sit up in his arms.

“What are you doing!?”

“Tiring you out so that you can sleep… Relax, I won’t do it all the
way.”

A hand slipped around his waist and through the opening of the
yukata to touch bare skin.

“Ah, stupid…”

“The walls are thin, so watch your voice.”

After giving that warning, Ushio nibbled on Kei’s ear. Of course he

would cry out if he did that.

“Nnnh, nooo.”

Ushio’s hand easily found a nipple under the defenseless yukata,

and he rubbed at it with his fingertips, as if to imprint himself there.

“Ahh…”

In the meantime, the other hand fully spread open the bottom part of
the disheveled yukata. It slid into Kei’s underwear and freed his
arousal. It curved up in inverse proportion to his fatigue, and Ushio
gently stroked it as he sucked little short kisses to the back of Kei’s
neck.
Kei could hear laughter from the next room over. His body froze in
fear. They seemed to be excited about something, and he wanted to
think that it meant that they couldn’t hear the sounds coming from
this room.

“…Should I seal you up?”

It frustrated Kei to no end, but he had to agree with the suggestion.

Kei turned his head to seek Ushio’s lips in this restrictive position,
and Ushio leaned down to accept the kiss.

“Nnnh…”

Ushio promptly inserted his tongue. Kei squeezed his eyes shut and
tangled his own tongue together. His body no longer swayed with the
sea; he was lured by another impulse. In the pauses between their
passionate kisses, their wet seductive sounds drowned out the
noises of the phantom waves.

“Nnh— Nnh, nnhhh…”

The hand movements changed from guiding to pressuring, and

Ushio stroked Kei’s cock more intensely. Kei could feel his lower
belly spasming under the loosened sash.

“Nn, nh, nhh—!”

The thickness in Ushio’s hand burst, releasing from the point at the
tip. Kei’s consciousness descended into darkness and went out like
a light.

When Kei woke up to his alarm, Ushio was of course not there.
Ushio had cleaned him up, and Kei felt pretty refreshed for the short
amount of time that he was able to sleep.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning~”

However, it was incredibly embarrassing to meet Ushio face to face

a few hours later as a work partner. Ushio naturally understood why
Kei greeted him with a slightly averted glance before walking quickly
away as he asked, “Is this the bus to the cable cars?” They boarded
the shuttle bus and headed towards the cable car terminal. The
summit of the mountain was presently covered in clouds from the
sound of it. The cable cars suspended on the long, long cables
charged into the milky white ocean, and they couldn’t see their
destination up ahead. They climbed up to the observation deck
1,000 meters3 above sea level. It was much colder out than at the
base of the mountain, and everything around them was pure white
and covered in fog.

“Hmm, what do you guys think? I wonder if the sun will come out a
little.”

“Yesterday the forecast said that it was a 30% chance.”

“If it had just said that it would rain, we could have given up and slept
in more~”

“You gotta work a bit to see a view like the tourist posters designed
to attract visitors. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

The crew could not be called enthusiastic by any stretch of the

imagination, but Ushio was silently holding the camera, his eyes
filled with the same hopes and expectations from yesterday. He
wanted to see the sunrise from here. Ushio had seen the picture on
the poster that someone had taken and printed for people to see,
and he thought from the bottom of his heart, I want to witness
something there too.
Show me something that I’ve never seen before.

And I’ll bring it home with me, this tiny world that’s mine and only
mine.

Maybe from the time when he was a child, what moved Ushio was a
pure and earnest curiosity, not stubbornness or defiance. Maybe he
had wished to see things that didn’t exist in that house, things that
didn’t have value at that house.

As Kei watched Ushio wait for daybreak, his heart pounded so hard
that it hurt. Like maybe something would happen, or maybe he
wanted to watch him forever even if nothing happened. And Kei was
frustrated that he was the only one whose heart was beating so hard
like this.

I don’t want to lose.

They took up positions where they would get a great view and
waited, and the fog slowly withdrew from the summit. Instead of
clearing up, it was more like the fog could no longer stand the pull of
gravity, and it seemed to settle lower and lower. The sky, which was
supposed to be pure white from the fog, brightened with a faint rose
color.

The director raised his voice. “It’s here, it’s here, it’s here.
Seriously~”

Shut up, you’re ruining the view, Kei thought with disdain in his head.
Don’t bother him while he’s filming.

Kei looked at the camera. He looked directly at Ushio on the other

side of the camera.

“It is morning. The sun has shown its face. A thick fog surrounds the
observation deck, and only the tops of the surrounding mountains
are peeking through like little islands. This is truly a sea of clouds. It
is a little reward to the early morning risers at Mother Nature’s whim;
there are no promises or reservations here…”

Kei could sense the light of the sun’s rays shining from behind him.
An unintended smile spilled out onto his face. He didn’t mind at all
that he wasn’t seeing the view with his own eyes at this moment.
Because Ushio was watching it.

Kei loved the films that Ushio made now, but he did wonder like
Nishikido had mentioned, would he ever film real people one day? If
he did, would it be documentaries? Or would it be feature movies?

Anything was fine. As long as he surprised Kei and made him think,
Damn, you got me. As long as he chased whatever he wanted and
came back to the home that they shared.

We still have a lot of life ahead of us. And I’m glad.

The video piece of the whirlwind tour aired the following week on
Friday without a hitch. When the broadcast finished, Shitara came up
to him to say “It was a great piece.”

“Thank you, we were very lucky with all of our encounters.”

“That part was great too, but your face was alive in every shot. I took
a look at the master tapes, and I nearly did a double take at all the
great footage that was taken. Just watching it made me think that I
wanted to go there too… Maybe you’ve grown again as a reporter?”

“If so, that would make me very happy.”

Kei knew that the effect was a boost from his boyfriend who was
there with him at the shoot, but he persisted with his modesty to the
end and added, “Perhaps it was due to Nishikido-san’s excellent
skills.”

“Yes, well, the old pro did bring a steady skillfulness to the shots, but
Tsuzuki-kun also took excellent shots too. I suppose that it’s only
natural. They were so beautiful that I asked to add them to the
network’s library of video materials. Unfortunately, he doesn’t get
extra commission for doing so, but I’d like to take him out to dinner
sometime.”

The shots that Ushio had taken would someday be used somewhere
by someone in the future. Somewhere unknown to them, the shots
would be chosen and copied. Maybe it would even occur some
decades into the future from now. His name wouldn’t be in the
credits, but Ushio would be happy about it. And when Kei thought
this, he honestly became happy too.

When Kei arrived home, Ushio rushed over to him at the front door.

“Did you see it?”

“…Uh, I kind of have to, you know.”

Besides, he had to record the voiceovers for the piece, so it wasn’t

only the one time that he had watched it.

“They used so many of the shots that I took! It was so great!”

Hey, hey, you make a living off of your name and your work, why are
you getting so happy for a job that doesn’t give out credits?—that
was what Kei thought, but Ushio looked so cute that he had to give
him a pat on the head.

“What’s that for?”

Normally Kei would say those words, but this time Ushio said them.
However, he had a huge smirk on his face.

“…I just thought that you were a little cute, that’s all!”

“Oh, really?”

Kei had even carelessly thought that he would take him to bed and
show him heaven, but he would never tell Ushio that. And yet—

“I bet you thought of something disturbing just now.”

“W-What? No… And it wasn’t disturbing.”

“Oh? Well, whatever. It’s the weekend, and I can take my time to get
it out of you. Plus you owe me for the favor that I gave you in
Hokkaido.”

“You essentially made me take the favor!”

What the? He’s not cute anymore.

Ushio quickly dragged him to bed, and Kei involuntarily engaged his
own “cute” setting. It was just a setting, okay? It was just what Ushio
called it, okay?

As Ushio dropped kisses on Kei, he whispered spellbound over and

over again, “I had a lot of fun.” Kei melted under that voice, that
gaze, the shower of countless numbers of kisses. They sank into his
skin, never to leave him.

Translation Notes
 My best guess for this reference is the children’s book “Five Little
Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.” It is quite famous in Japan, and you
can see the quilt pattern repeated.
LeTAO is known for their cakes and sweets.
1,000 m – Approx. 3,280 ft.

Part 2: Oasis

It had been a complete coincidence that he learned that Kei’s mother

had been sick. They had been watching TV together when news
about a fire in Shizuoka City aired, and Kei commented with a true
nonchalance, “Oh, that’s close to the hospital where Mom was
hospitalized.”

It had been so flippant that Ushio thought that he was referring to

something that had happened years ago. However, not even half a
year had passed since it happened. Say something, damn it.

“I had too many things going on at the time.”

“But not for several months though.”

“It wasn’t a huge deal. She was hospitalized, but it was for 3 or 4
days. It was like a short trip. Telling you after all that time would
make it a bigger deal than it was.”

Kei was about to snap back at him, unhappy at being told Say
something, damn it, so Ushio warded him off with an amiable “I’m
sorry” and then suggested “Let’s go for a visit.”

“What?”
“To see her all recovered.”

“No way, it’s a pain in the ass. I already went out of my way to see
her the day of the surgery.”

“Aww, you could have said that you were worried and ran over to see
her…”

“I wasn’t!”

Kei grimaced and told him about how his mother was absolutely fine
and even tried to show him the myoma that the doctors had taken
out, so he had left.

“Well, okay, sure, but let’s go anyway.”

“I said no way.”

“Why not? Don’t you love spending time at your parents’?”

“It’s exhausting to go there for just a weekend.”

“Let’s drive there. It won’t be crowded unlike around New Year’s.”

“Listen to what I’m saying.”

“I’ll buy you anything you like at the service areas. Like all the things
that Gal Sone ate on Legends of Gold.”1

“I said I’m not going.”

“Fine, I’ll go by myself. Take care of the apartment for me.”

“You’re so weird.”
But Kei reluctantly accompanied him. Apparently he was worried
about what they would say about him when he wasn’t there. Even
though Kei was the one who had outed them to his parents in the
first place.

Kei warned him from the passenger seat, “Don’t say anything
unnecessary.”

“Anything unnecessary?”

“…Like anything about the apartment.”

“What? You still haven’t told them that we’re living together? Want
me to send them a postcard for you?”

“We’re not living together; we still have separate households! I only

told them that I moved, so don’t you dare say anything.”

Uh, why are you so desperate to deny that particular point after all
this time?

However, Ushio knew that this Prince had a very naive shyness to
him. Viewed from the side, he was like a very holey cheese,
completely vulnerable, with plenty of room for Ushio to poke fun of
him, but because Kei was so stubborn and insistent about it, Ushio
had no choice but to let him have his way.

“What do you want for breakfast? Should we stop at Ebina?”

“Ebi ebi yaki, melon bread, and smoked turkey.”2

Kei gave his answer without delay as he looked at his cell phone. He
was probably checking a Service Area Gourmet website.

“I’ll eat in the car so go buy them for me. Park somewhere not too
conspicuous.”
“Okay, okay.”

It was an extremely hot day today, but the weather was clear. It was
an excellent day for a drive. They only had iced coffee in stainless
steel bottles with them, and Ushio completed the errand like Kei had
instructed and returned to the car.

“Food’s here, what do you want first?”

“Meat.”

Which was what he figured. Kei took the turkey by the bone, which
was wrapped in aluminum foil, and took a bite of the dark amber-
colored smoked meat. After chewing for a while, he grunted “Nn” and
offered Ushio an untouched part of the turkey.

“What? You’re offering some? For me? Thanks, but why~?”

“Don’t act so surprised!!”

Habits and beliefs that he had picked up when he was younger were
difficult to break, and even now Ushio found it hard to ignore the idea
that he could save some money for another meal by skipping one.
He wasn’t a light eater, and he enjoyed eating too, but whenever he
had deadlines for work, he tended to put off his meals even more.
However, if he ruined his health because of it, it would all be for
naught, and so he had been conscious to have his meals, but more
so because he needed gasoline for his body.

But that particular significance that Ushio had for food started to
change a little since he met Kei. And it changed even more after they
started living together. Kei would come home from work or he would
wake up, and Ushio didn’t find it troublesome to pause his work to
prepare food in the kitchen. There were no heavy feelings behind the
act, such as serving or supporting Kei; it just eased Ushio’s mind to
see Kei eating his food that he had thrown together. There was no
special gratitude or compliments from Kei, but Kei would eat it all
with gusto. Maybe he thought that it was fine because there was a
balance between them—Ushio didn’t think that he was doing
anything in particular for Kei, and Kei didn’t think that he was getting
anything in particular from Ushio. They were each doing whatever
they wanted.

And taking a bite of the meat, Ushio thought that this sharing of food
between them was the simplest expression of trust and love that
there was.

There was no need to rush to their destination, and so they had

stopped at other service areas along the way. It was a little before
noon when they arrived at Kei’s parents’ house.

“Oh, so you two really did come,” Kei’s mother said.

“Pardon us for the intrusion.”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I sort of feel bad that you came all this way and
I’m fit as a fiddle. Kei, you didn’t make a big deal of it, did you?”

“I just told him like it was.”

“Did you have lunch?”

“We ate as we drove, so we’re not hungry.”

“Okay, maybe we’ll have an early dinner. Your father and I just
finished eating soumen earlier.”

They had last visited the Kunieda home two years ago for New
Year’s. They had planned to visit last year (or would it be this year?),
but they were both too busy with work and weren’t able to make it.
So this was their first visit in a long while, but the only thing that
really changed was that there was no kotatsu in the living room.

“Oh, hello, welcome.”

“It’s been a while, sir.”

Kei’s father had appeared, and as usual there was no hint of

arrogance in the bow that he gave. Kei’s comment that he should
watch and learn from my dad was absolutely correct.

“Isn’t it surprising that they haven’t broken up by now?” commented

Kei’s mother. She brought over cold barley tea as everyone sat
around the low table.

“It’s none of your business.”

“Why don’t you register as an adoptee in his family? That way he

can’t escape so easily. Is that how it works? Why not do it? It’s not
like we have much to leave to you, right, Dear?”3

“Ummm, but I think a lot of things depend on who is the older of the
two. Things like their last name for example…”

As usual, it was frightening just how fast they were able to accept
and understand things. Actually, Ushio was really amazed at how
naturally they could delineate their own lives from their son’s life.
They didn’t seem to show any pride that this was something that
they valued; they seriously looked like any regular middle-aged
married couple.

“Why would I do that, stupid? The company would find out.”

That Kei was concerned about his image to the public made Ushio
feel more reassured.

“Hmmm, by the way, how’s your new home? Is it comfortable?”

“It’s normal.”

Kei gave Ushio a side eye when he answered his mother. Ushio
blinked his eyes slowly to say Yeah, I know.

“Should I go over and clean it for you?”

Oh, but that jab clearly said that she had a hunch.

“I have a Roomba that does it.”

Is that supposed to refer to me?

“Who normally cooks between the two of you?”

Oh, and now she went in for a straight. Ushio had promised not to
say anything, so he kept quiet, but in return he refused to lie just to
cover for Kei.

“We cook in our own homes, who else would do it?”

Unexpectedly, Kei was able to smoothly sidestep her attacks. This

was a space where he could be himself and let his guard down. It
wouldn’t be strange to show his weaknesses here, but Ushio was a
little impressed at how natural Kei sounded just now. Maybe he had
experienced enough bloodbaths here to learn from them? But Kei
would totally rage at him if he were to tell him that.

“Hnnn… Oh, someone’s at the door.”

Kei’s mother got up at the sound of the doorbell.

“Your father’s bookshelf is probably here. We’re going to assemble it

together, so feel free to relax. Dear, come along.”

“All right.”
“Oh, I’ll do it,” Ushio offered.

“It’s fine, it’s fine.”

Ushio heard them call out to each other, Take that side and Heave
ho, as they moved the item, and he asked Kei, “Maybe I should have
gone instead?” It would probably be faster if Ushio did everything
himself.

He half-expected the response when Kei grunted, “Don’t expect me

to help,” and flopped on the floor to turn an empty seat cushion into
his pillow.

“Just let them do whatever they want. There’s the two of them there,
they’ll be fine. If they want help, they’ll come and ask for it.”

“Isn’t it called help to do it before it’s asked?”

“They’ll age faster if you spoil them.”

And then Kei fell asleep in no time. It was only natural since he had
woken up early in the morning, but this ease in dropping off to sleep
was too incredible. Maybe because his parents’ house was that
peaceful and reassuring to him. Ushio had no place similar that he
could compare to, and he watched Kei with a deep curiosity. Plus,
Kei absolutely worked hard during the week, and he must have been
exhausted. He had read his newspapers in the car since he always
had to diligently check the news over the weekend, so maybe the
only time that he was truly “off” was when he was sleeping.

Ushio spent some time watching Kei’s very relaxed countenance

while he slept, but he was still worried about how Kei’s parents were
doing, so he went out quietly to the hallway to check on them. He
could hear voices from the door that they had left open. Ushio took a
peek inside, and it appeared to be an office for Kei’s father. There
was a desk, a chair, and bookshelves in the room, and on the floor
was a partially assembled bookshelf and its scattered parts. The
married couple was sitting on the floor, building it together.

“…Oh no, the bottom shelf is backwards. It’s not very noticeable, so
maybe we can just leave it?”

“I’d say that it’s completely different. Look how rough it looks. Let’s
redo it.”

“Okay, if you insist. Anyway, the print is so tiny in this instruction

manual. They don’t make it easy for old people. Don’t you think they
need to explain it more too?”

“But the color doesn’t look too cheap, so it’s nice.”

“That’s true. Online shopping is always a hit or miss, and we really

lucked out this time.”

“Oh, a wooden dowel rolled over there. Be careful, okay?”

“Okay, okay.”

It was a leisurely conversation and assembly. If Ushio had built it, he

could probably finish it in 10 minutes. But Kei had been correct in his
words. The two of them were there, so it was fine. He had to hand it
to their son. Ushio wasn’t needed here. It wasn’t meant in a rosy
picture sort of way, like they had created their own little world. He just
felt that the time that they had spent together, that they would spend
together into the future—it flowed here in this disordered little room
on a bright summer afternoon. It was a charm that could only be
produced after countless days upon days of living an everyday life
together. He was sure that the couple didn’t think that they were
particularly happy or intimate, but that was what made this sight look
so warm to him.

Sunlight passed through the lace curtains to shine through the

glasses of barley tea on the desk, casting clear shadows that rocked
and swayed. A married couple, how nice, Ushio thought. He gave a
fond smile before returning to the living room.

Ushio looked down at the sleeping face, so peaceful that it was

almost overboard, and he thought that they were far off from that
kind of atmosphere between them. But he also thought that it was
fine. And then Ushio folded the seat cushion in half and lay down on
it too. The chirping of the cicadas sounded mysteriously close to his
ears.

Ushio woke up to the fierce light of the setting sun. The first things
that he saw were the legs of the table and chairs in the dining room.
From there, Ushio let his gaze wander up. Beyond the kitchen
counter, Kei’s mother was there with her back towards him. She was
pulling something out from the refrigerator and appeared to be
working in the kitchen.

—Mother.

Ushio knew that the person in front of him was a completely different
person, but he still felt like calling out to his mother.

—You look sick. Go lay down.

That morning when Ushio had last seen his mother, she was already
busy and dressed, and he had really wanted to say those words to
her. But he never said them. He had given up because she would
never listen to him anyway. The truth was Ushio had given up on his
parents first. The things that he understood, the things that he
wanted to be understood for—he had already decided that they
would never understand him.

Granted, it was that likely that nothing would have changed. But
what if his mother had died even if he had said something? Would it
have made him suffer even worse? Or would he find a little comfort
that he had just said it? He still didn’t know how he would have felt,
and it sometimes pained him.

However, as his consciousness became clearer, he felt a stronger

sense for the reality around him—the scent of dashi stock and soy
sauce, the sound of the knife chopping—and he was relieved. And
there was a light throw that had been placed over his body.

“I’m sorry, I completely fell asleep.”

“Good morning.”

Ushio had waited for a good time to call out so that he wouldn’t
startle her, and Kei’s mother turned around.

“Kei’s holed up in his room again, probably reading manga or

something. His father is out running errands. I had planned to make
sushi hand rolls, but we’re out of the nori that we need.”

There were small plates of various ingredients crowded together on

the kitchen counter.

“It looks like a feast.”

“I would never bother making this with just the two of us here. We
would never be able to finish it. But now it’s just right.”

The timer on the rice cooker went off. Kei’s mother had said before
that she didn’t like others touching her kitchen, and Ushio wondered
what he should do. A lot of preparation was needed to make sushi
hand rolls, so Ushio decided to ask, “Is there anything I can do to
help?”

“Okay, can I ask you to prepare the vinegared rice? I have the bowl,
fan, and seasoning placed out already.”
“Sure.”

He scooped the cooked rice into the large shallow bowl, drizzled it in
the seasoned vinegar, and let the rice sit for a few seconds. Then he
used the rice scoop to quickly mix the rice together, spread it out,
and cooled it with the fan. As he completed the series of operations,
Kei’s mother commented, “You’re used to this,” sounding impressed.

“I’m not doing anything too difficult.”

“Vinegared rice isn’t something that people make every day, so I

thought that you would be more nervous about it.”

“I had lived with my grandmother,” Ushio answered as he fanned the

rice.

“Oh, so she had instilled it in you.”

“Yes… But…”

Steam rose from the freshly cooked rice infused with seasoned
vinegar, releasing a sweet and sharp scent.

“Lately I’ve been thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have been so

insistent on learning everything from my grandmother, that maybe
it’s necessary sometimes to wait at the table looking forward to her
saying, ‘It’s done,’ and eating her food like it’s only natural to have it
prepared for me. That maybe my grandmother felt a little lonely that
we didn’t have that.”

The feelings that Ushio felt when he prepared meals for Kei—maybe
his grandmother had felt the same way for Ushio. The joy that
someone he treasured was waiting, that they entrusted him with their
wishes and cravings. Ushio had been so busy with his own issues,
convinced that he had to become self-sufficient, that it was the best
path forward for himself and everyone around him, that he had no
time to even question that premise.
“That’s true. It’s the duty of children and grandchildren to let the
adults spoil them sometimes. Has your grandmother already
passed?”

“No, she’s still very healthy.”

“Then you can start right now. Just call out, ‘Grandma, I’m starving!’”

“It’s hard to say out loud at this age.”

“What are you saying? You’re still young. Besides, Kei is still as
spoiled as they come.”

“He takes care of himself properly when he’s on his own. Which
reminds me, is pickled scallions with pasta a Kunieda family staple?”

“That’s right. It’s more my own preference than a Kunieda family

thing. It’s sort of like rice with pickled vegetables. Like a little side
dish.”

“I see.”

Kei’s mother talked while she fried an omelet and cut it into thin
strips. Ushio watched as she finished up and broached a different
topic.

“Um, the last time when I visited, you had given us chirashizushi to
take back. I had promised to return the Tupperware when I visited
again, but um, I’ve lost it. I’m very sorry.”

“Oh, really?”

It was very readily acknowledged.

“Should I go out and buy a new one to replace it?”

“Don’t worry about it, I have plenty.”

Ushio breathed a sigh of relief. He had been pretty worried about it

out of all the things that he had lost with his house.

“Were you nervous about telling me?”

“A little.”

Kei’s mother gave a wry little smile at the answer. She tended to
save her energy when it came to friendliness and social graces, and
it was rare to see her smile.

“You’re such an idiot~…”

Not that Ushio knew what it was like, but he thought that the tone
was something that a mother would say.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I reverted to how I would speak to my son without

thinking.”

“…It’s all right.”

“But that’s quite an overreaction for some cheap Tupperware. Rather

cold and distant even.”

“I hear that often.”

This time Ushio gave a wry smile. That was when Kei came into the
kitchen.

“Mom, I’m starving.”

“See? Just like that.”

“Oh, I see. You were spot on~”

Ushio wasn’t able to do that. That was why he loved Kei, who could
do anything that he couldn’t do. And he thought that it was fine like
this.

“What’s that for!?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“You creep me out…”

“I’m home. It’s quite hot out even in the evening. I’ve bought a yellow
watermelon since we haven’t had it in a while.”

The bowl of vinegared rice and lots of different fillings were arranged
on the table. There was marinated tuna, salmon roe, crushed natto
mixed with pickled vegetables, simmered shiitake mushrooms and
dried gourd, strips of ham and cucumbers, and grilled beef seasoned
with sauce, salt, and pepper (apparently it paired well with the
vinegared rice). The condiments included lots of scallions, shiso
leaves, and Japanese ginger.

“You better not drink,” Kei warned Ushio when his father opened a
bottle of beer.

“I know. I’m sorry, may I get tea instead? I have to drive later.”

“And you’re going to be shameless and drink, Kei? You’re terrible.

Weren’t you driven over here? It’s your turn to drive.”

“No, it’s fine, I like driving.”

“Shouldn’t you think about not spoiling him so much?”

“It’s none of your business!”

“It’s fine,” Ushio said. “If you leave him alone, he’ll come down
harder on himself on his own.”
“This sloth who does nothing but eat and sleep all day?”

“Oi, Masae, cut it out.”

“Don’t address me with just my first name. Who did you think you
are?”

“And what do you think that you’ve been doing!?”

“For the past 20 some years their arguments have been pretty much
the same…” mumbled the husband and father as he calmly rolled
the nori for his hand roll.

Maybe Kei had drunk enough and eaten to his heart’s content,
because he said that he didn’t want any watermelon and went into
the living room to sleep again. Even after they had finished cleaning
up after dinner, there was no sign of him waking.

“He can sure sleep like this,” his mother commented.

“He recently had an overnight shoot. I think that he’s been pretty
tired.”

“By the way, what work do you do, Tsuzuki-san?”

It seemed that Kei’s father had just thought to ask that question now,
and he was hesitant in his voice. Apparently, he didn’t know that
Ushio had once appeared on a segment with Announcer Kunieda for
the evening news.

“Do you work in the media or the TV industry too?”

“Well, broadly speaking, I suppose so.”

Rather than explaining verbally, Ushio pulled up a video site on his
cell phone and played some of his work for them.

“Oh, wow, did you make this yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Dear, bring out your laptop. I want to see it on a larger screen.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea.”

Kei’s father brought out his laptop, and the two watched Ushio’s
videos with great interest.

“Wow, that’s beautiful.”

“Oh, I want to see that part again just now.”

“Eh? Let’s watch it to the end first.”

Ushio was happy that they showed such positive interest in his work,
asking questions like How did you make this? and How did you
come up with this idea? He had learned from experience that it was
difficult to get older people to understand his profession, even
though he received a commission and earned a living from this work
in practice.

Ushio hadn’t been bothered when he was told that his work was like
playtime, but apparently small thorns had been left in him from the
sentiment. He only realized that they had been there as they were
pulled out just now. When he was here at this house, his weakness
and his pain were like old scales that seemed to peel and fall off.

“Tsuzuki-kun, how about you take a bath?”

“I can take one when I get back, thank you.”

“Hmm, I doubt that Kei will wake up though?”

“That’s right. If you leave now, you’ll just be stuck in traffic. It’ll just
make you more tired. Why don’t you stay over and leave early
tomorrow morning?”

Tomorrow was a Sunday, and he was pretty sure that Kei had no
work scheduled.

“Ah… That’s not a bad idea.”

Just as he was about to say, Maybe we’ll take you up on the offer,
Kei sluggishly sat up.

“Kei, go sleep upstairs.”

“No, I’m going home,” he said with a loud yawn. His eyes weren’t
completely open yet.

“Just stay over for the night.”

“No. I want to spend my time relaxing at home.”

“More than you do here? Well, fine. Anyway, sorry about that,
Tsuzuki-kun, can you lug this thing back with you?”

“Sure.”

“Oi, watch what you’re saying.”

Kei’s parents walked with them to the nearby parking lot where they
had parked the car.
“Kei, here.”

Kei’s mother held out a paper bag to him before they got into the car.

“It’s chicken rice balls from the extra vinegared rice, and I packed the
leftover watermelon that we couldn’t finish. It’s all wrapped with an
ice pack inside.”

“Nn.”

Kei accepted it with a grunt, so Ushio rushed to say “Thank you very
much.”

He added, “This time I promise not to lose it.”

“I said that it’s fine, I have a lot. Oh, right, you left your house keys.
You should be more careful.”

“Crap, I’m sorry.”

“You sure have a lot of keys here. Do you have so many different
residences?”

“Uh, well, there’s a reason for it.”

The moment Ushio accepted the keys in his hand, she proudly
declared, “Just kidding~” for some reason.

“Those are Kei’s,” she explained.

“Huh?”

Ushio searched through his bag and saw that his keys were still
there. Neither of them had a key chain on their keys since the keys
were already heavy enough, and it wouldn’t be a problem if they
were to swap them either.
“Oh my, what very similar keys you two have. I can’t even tell them
apart? Or maybe they’re the same set? My, oh my.”

“Dear, I told you to just let them be…”

“Don’t set up such stupid traps!!” Kei turned red in an instant and
snatched the keys back. He flared up at Ushio too and yelled, “You,
don’t fall for it!”

“Uh, but you were the one who left it.”

“It makes me want to investigate because you keep hiding it. You
should have just told us from the start, you’re such an idiot~” Her
voice was the same one that she had used with Ushio.

“Okay, bye, take care,” she said, waving her hand. “…Oh, the show
is about to start. Dear, let’s hurry.”

“Oh, okay, be careful on the road, you two. We’ll see you again next
time. Good night.”

Although they had come to see them off, there was a sense of this
distance where they didn’t stay to watch them drive off.

“I’m not coming back!” Kei snapped rudely as he got into the car and
fastened his seat belt.

“It was a short stay, but it felt like a perfect trip.”

“What about it was perfect?”

“For now, can I kiss you?”

“Why!?”

“Earlier you said that you wanted to relax at home. That made me
really, really happy.”
Here and there, they were both homes to Kei. There was no way to
compare the two, but Ushio felt like Kei had said that he loved their
own home the best. That he could beat out the 22 years that Kei had
lived at this home, it was incredible.

“Are you an idiot…?”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you laughing?”

“I was just thinking that this ‘idiot’ fits much better.”

But Ushio liked the ‘idiot’ of a mother’s too.

In the corner of the parking lot, he took Kei’s lips for himself. With
this, he was fueled up again, and he could drive back to Tokyo.
There was also food packed for them, and there was fresh coffee in
their stainless steel bottles. They were ready to depart.

The code phrase was of course: A trip lasts until the moment you
return home.

Translation Notes

Legends of Gold (Ougon Densetsu) was a Japanese variety show,

and Gal Sone is a competitive eater that used to appear on it.
Ebi ebi yaki is like takoyaki but with shrimp. It’s a very popular item
at the Ebina Service Area.
Mama Kunieda is essentially telling them to get married.
Part 3: Rose-Colored Pop

“So I’m supposed to receive some kind of advertising award.”

It was supposed to be happy news, but the phrasing was decidedly

vague.

“There’s an award ceremony for it at a hotel. How about I book us a

room while I’m at it, and you can come over? It’s at that hotel, where
we had our previous rendezvous.”

“Don’t say it like That pool!”

“That pool…?”

“Don’t google it!”

“Heh… You know, you never watch any porn, so how come you
know that particular phrase?”1

“M-Minagawa mentioned it.”

“And out comes the word that calls for punishment.”

“Why!?”

It had to be a fairly prestigious award for them to hold the ceremony

at such an upscale hotel, but Ushio seemed only happy about the
prize money that came with it.

“Do you hate awards or something?”

“It’s not that I hate awards, it’s just not for me. If people see my work
and say that they like it, I’m truly happy and grateful for it, but
everything else? I’m not used to dressing up for people and giving
speeches, and it’s not like I submitted my work to a competition in
the first place, but it’s like they decided to pick my work and tell me
to attend this thing so that they can praise me.”

And to that end, Kei had been thoroughly lured in by the very
transparent words that Ushio had issued—So if Kunieda-san waits
for me at the hotel room, it’ll motivate me push through the
ceremony~

Kei didn’t have any plans that Saturday, and at around 8 pm he

stopped by the front desk to pick up the key for the room. He
wouldn’t be interacting with people, and it was too much trouble to
change, so he came in his “off” mode, wearing a T-shirt, jeans, face
mask, and glasses. He figured that Ushio would be in a suit and tie,
which meant that they would be reversed from usual.

Ushio likely had to socialize with others after the ceremony, and Kei
didn’t know when he would be done. He thought very
magnanimously that networking was probably very important for
Ushio and his freelance work, and so he showered first and then
raided the minibar. Old Man Eba had cleaned him out just like this
before. Which meant that Ushio didn’t have to come back so early
since he wanted to lounge around by himself however he pleased
(with Ushio’s money)—but no, he didn’t think that at all.

Kei had already eaten before he came, and there were plenty of nuts
and snacks in the room. While he watched the large-screen TV, he
emptied the cans of beer, a half bottle of champagne, and even the
mini-bottles of whiskey and assorted liquor. He was in a great mood
and flopped down on the spacious bed… It was paradise.

There were a number of pillows on the bed, each a slightly different

size and softness, and Kei hugged the fluffiest one out of the bunch
and exhaled a loud sigh. He realized that the prime time shows were
almost over, and Ushio still wasn’t back.
Which reminded him, what video did Ushio win the award for? Kei
pulled his cell phone over and did a quick search. He found his
answer quickly and went to play it.

It was an animation of a goldfish. An orange-colored goldfish had

escaped from its goldfish bowl and swam through a diorama-like
world, floating through the air. Sometimes its body became flames,
or fallen leaves, or even fruit. The film was beautiful, soft and
ephemeral, like watching a word association game unfold in a
dream.

“Hnh…”

Kei made a sound that was neither a laugh nor a sigh. He felt as if
the exhalation turned into tiny little bubbles, and they floated up to
the tall ceiling of the hotel room. As always, Kei wondered what
Ushio was thinking when he made this. This tiny little world that
became anything that Ushio envisioned. Kei sunk deeper into the
sheets, the sensation fluid and cold like water. Before he knew it, he
felt like he had shrunk, dozing off in the goldfish bowl inside of
Ushio’s head.

…Hurry up and come pay attention to me.

He finished later than he had thought. It was because he had to go

around apologizing to all the people he knew there for staying out of
contact for so long. He wondered if Kei was already asleep. He
pressed the card key to the sensor and quietly opened the door. Kei
was laid out on the bed, hugging a pillow. He had to shell out for a
more expensive room since there were no other vacancies at the
hotel, but what suited this expensive-looking bed very well suited the
bed—this beautiful face of a young sleeping prince.
There was no sign of Kei stirring even when Ushio approached him,
but when he placed his bouquet of flowers from the ceremony by the
pillows, tossed his jacket on the desk and sat down on the mattress
to whisper “Kei,” Kei slightly cracked open his eyes. His cheeks were
red, maybe from drinking when he was waiting for him. The bed
linens and his bathrobe were both white, and the color looked more
brilliant to Ushio’s eyes than the roses that he had carried.

“I’m back.”

“You’re late…”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Kei released the pillow he was clutching, now lumped and

misshapen. He stretched out onto his back and slowly folded his legs
up. The bathrobe splayed open, exposing his legs up to his hips.
Ushio naturally fixed his stare there, because he was a man and oh,
it was a nice view, but Kei didn’t yell at him like he normally would,
completely defenseless.

“…Did you have a lot to drink?”

“Hnhnn~”

For some reason, Kei snorted at him.

“Say a tongue twister for me.”

“Firenze ferrite Ferragamo filaria Ferrari Philadelphia.”

“Wow~”

Kunieda-san, who loathed even alluding to dirty material, just said a

string of dirty words.2 There were a few times when Kei had gotten
dead drunk in front of him, but this was the first time he had ever
swung into a gleeful mood of this particular persuasion. Maybe he
had held such a strong suspicion around Ushio that he couldn’t let
go before.

Well, whatever, he’s cute.

“You thought of something dirty just now, didn’t you?”

Oh, so he was aware of what he was saying.

“Yeah.”

“You dumb idiot~”

“I think that it’s only natural.”

“I bet your head is just full of that stuff~”

“Full of what stuff?”

Normally when Ushio pressed him like this, the usual pattern for Kei
was to snap back in anger, but instead he smiled, “It’s a secret,” like
he was in complete control of the situation, and he pulled Ushio’s
head closer.

“Come on, tell me.”

“…This stuff.”

Kei pressed loud, innocent kisses to his lips, and when Ushio tried to
push his tongue in, Kei suddenly pushed his arm away.

“What is it?”

“…You smell sweet,” he complained, wrinkling his brow.

“Oh, maybe it’s from the flowers I got? Look, they’re right there.”
Kei turned his head to look over, and when he saw the flowers, his
face turned even more severe. “Who did you get them from?” he
grilled.

“Who? The person in charge of giving the flowers?”

“…More importantly!!”

“Yes?”

“Why are you dressed up like that?”

“Huh? That’s where you’re starting?”

“You’re cheating on me…” Kei whispered, turning his face away in a

huff.

“I’m not. How did you even make that leap?”

“You dressed up all nice, went out to cheat on me, got those flowers,
and now you’re back.”

“Why would a man get flowers and come back?”

“Fine, you were cheating with a man.”

“I’m not you, okay…”

“Did you say something!?”

“No, nothing.”

Kei eyed him with a surprisingly serious face. And then he

immediately crumpled it up.

“You’re etching…”
“I’m not imprinting anything.”

“I slipped up, you’re cheating.”

“Either way, I’m not imprinting anyone either.”

“Are they very fatty? With lots of marbling? Is their pattern very cute?
Are they delicious even if you stew, grill, broil, or sear them?”

“That’s not even human.”

Ushio stroked Kei’s hair to soothe him and said, “I’m not cheating on
you, okay?”

“Really…?”

“Really, really.”

If things kept up like this, Ushio would have to play nursemaid until
dawn. Well, whatever, that was fine too… As he said, “There, there,”
and comforted him, Kei abruptly sat up.

“Hmm? What’s wrong?”

“I need to make sure.”

“Huh?”

All of a sudden Kei reached for his belt buckle, and Ushio backed
away without thinking.

What? He needs to make sure down there? Alcohol sure is terrifying.

“…I knew it, you’re cheating on me.”

“No, no, I’m not.”

“You’re cheating on me with domestically produced A5.”3

“Seriously how is that supposed to work…? Well, fine, you can check
all you want then.”

“Yay~!”

“You’re not going to sober up right before anything happens just to

flip out on me, are you…?”

Kei took no notice of Ushio’s misgivings, and with an uncharacteristic

smoothness, he unfastened Ushio’s belt and opened up the front of
his pants.

Oi, what? Seriously?

If Ushio were to ask for a certain something that started with an “fe,”
although he wouldn’t get an okay right away, he was pretty sure that
Kei wouldn’t refuse him in the end. Ushio had never asked him for it
because he was fine without it. But with Kei asserting himself here, it
sort of made Ushio feel bad. Even though he hadn’t tricked Kei or
anything, he did feel sort of guilty about it—

“Huh?”

Kei touched his lips to the fabric without removing Ushio’s

underwear. That was what he wanted to do? Could anything be
confirmed like that? (He was innocent though.) Ushio wasn’t sure if
he felt enthralled or reluctant somewhere in his subconscious, but he
wasn’t about to demand that Kei touch it directly, and he just let Kei
do whatever he pleased. A warm breath blew onto his cock that was
separated behind a layer of fabric.

“Nnn…”

Kei used his fingers to make the shape there clear and distinct, and
then mouthed it softly with his lips. His hair made Ushio ticklish,
brushing against his belly. He strained, confined in the underwear, all
while Kei dragged his tongue up in a line, refusing to set it free. Ahh,
Firenze—it was truly a ridiculous thought that crossed his mind. Kei’s
saliva soaked through the cloth, and it clung wet and close to his
hard cock. It was maddening how frustrating it felt to be sucked
through a layer that seemed too thick and too thin, but it felt good.
He wondered if condoms from a long time ago felt like this—

Oh, right, the condom.

“Kei.”

Ushio fished through the breast pocket of his dress shirt as he called
out his name. His fingertips immediately found the thin wrapper that
contained the contraceptive. Ushio had only mentioned that he had a
room here, and an acquaintance of his at the party very kindly gave
it to him. With the words: I designed it, let me know what you think.

“Hmm?”

“Let’s put this to use and see how it feels.”

Kei was kneeled down in his lap, and Ushio reached over to flip the
back of his bathrobe up.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

“I want to make sure too. That you haven’t cheated on me either.”

Ushio tore open the wrapper and rolled the condom over two of his
fingers. It was covered entirely in a thin layer of lube, and the view
was indecent with the way that it glistened in the light. He could tell
that there was more loaded at the tip.

“Wha~…?”
“If I’m cheating with A5, then it’s not unreasonable for you to be
cheating with otoro fatty tuna, right?”

It was totally unreasonable, but with Kei’s current mindset now

scoring about a 5 out of 100, he answered, “Maybe you’re right~”
apparently satisfied with the explanation.

“It’s not unreasonable if it’s with otoro…”

Uh, yeah, it is.

Anyway, fortunately Kei hadn’t resisted, and Ushio shifted Kei’s

underwear over to press the condom to his hole. The Prince’s
services hadn’t been bad, but Ushio felt that a more proactive role
instead of a passive one was more fun and suited him better.

“Nnh…”

A moist breath exhaled hotter than before on the wet fabric.

“It doesn’t hurt, right?”

“It’s… cold.”

“You’ll get used to it soon.”

It was easy to insert his fingers because of the wet, slick film. On the
other side of the barrier manufactured to the thinnest possible
specifications, Ushio could feel the heat from inside Kei.

“You feel pretty hot. Maybe because you’re drunk?”

“Nnh… Ah.”

Kei removed his mouth from Ushio’s erection and shook his head
sideways.
“What’s wrong?”

“If you do that, I can’t do this.”

“Don’t say that and try harder. Here.”

Ushio pumped his fingers in and out with shallow movements, and
Kei lifted his rear like a cat teased at the base of its tail.

“Noo… Ah, ahh.”

But Kei still tried his hardest to use his mouth to pleasure Ushio, but
he basically did nothing but gasp and wipe his drool against the
underwear.

“Nevermind, you don’t have to. I’m scared that you might bite down
on me.”

“Ahh—”

He didn’t make it hurt, but he was a little rough in pulling out his
fingers, and the loose-fitting condom was left inside of Kei’s body.
Ushio pinned Kei down onto his back.

“Nooo.”

Ushio went on to spread open Kei’s legs, and he could see the loop
exposed, as if the wet reddened hole had failed to swallow it up. It
was incredibly obscene. He somehow suppressed the ache in his
belly that wanted to thrust into that hole and instead picked up Kei’s
hand.

“Sorry, the condom slipped off of my fingers. Take it out yourself.”

“No, I don’t wanna.”

“But if you don’t take it out, then we can’t do it. If we leave it there, it
might get stuck inside you.”

“Nooo…”

“Right? So come on. Here.”

Kei had to take an even more risque position as Ushio guided Kei’s
fingers to touch the condom. Ushio tried to tug it a little, but he could
feel the hole squeeze down tight.

“Nnh!”

“If you squeeze down so much you won’t be able to pull it out.”

“That’s because… ahh… I-I can’t do it while you’re watching… Close

your eyes.”

Kei’s shame meter hadn’t reached all the way to zero, but it should
be much lower than usual. Ushio undid his necktie and placed it over
Kei’s eyes.

“Here, now it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not…”

“Why not? It’s the same. Whether you do it without me seeing, or

you do it without you seeing. How is it different?”

Even though Ushio had pushed this broken logic of his again, it
seemed that Kei had no ability to think things through properly. His
face still looked unconvinced, but with reluctance, he grabbed the
end of the condom and slowly pulled it.

“Nnh…”
The twisted-up condom slowly inched out of Kei’s body, and the lube,
melted by the body heat, dripped onto the sheets and stained them.
Ushio’s arousal was off the charts. God, this is amazing, seriously,
thank you—but strictly speaking, he wasn’t evaluating how the
condom worked though.

“Ah…”

“Good job.”

When the tip with the slightly pointed end was finally removed from
his body, Ushio lifted Kei’s legs and shoved his cock in to ravish him.

“Aaah…!”

It was hard to say that Ushio had carefully prepared him, but Kei was
already soft and pliant inside, and Ushio pumped into him slick and
wet. He pulled off the necktie that was in the way and locked eyes
with Kei’s as he thrust into a rhythm. Kei’s cock hadn’t even been
touched, but it had exposed its underside, curved back with desire.

“Ahh, aaah, noo…”

“Kei, does it feel good?”

“Nnh… It’s painful… I want to come, but I can’t… ngh,” Kei

complained, sounding like he might cry.

A small puddle had formed on his belly, transparent fluid dripping

down from his cock. The clutch of his insides was so intense that he
could have come at any second.

“Maybe it’s from all the alcohol. Try rubbing yourself off.”

Ushio guided Kei’s hand to grip his straining cock, and this time he
made no protest like earlier—he must have been really overwrought
—and Kei started to beat off with wild abandon. Simultaneously, his
hole became more bewitching, even more wanton, and tightened
down on Ushio.

“Aaah, ah, ahh… What do I do? It feels good…”

“It feels good for me too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Nnh… Then give me a kiss?”

Shit, the way he begs is too cute.

“I will, I will.”

Ushio kissed Kei with intent, while he thrust into him where they
were joined deeply, searching for his pleasure point.

“Nnh, nh, mhh…”

“What else do you want me to do, Kei?” Ushio licked the half-parted
lips with the tip of his tongue.

“Break—”

“Hmm?”

“B-Breakfast.”

“You’re saying that now?”

Yeah, he fully had plans to feed him, but did his appetite not vanish
even at a time like this? Ushio didn’t know whether to laugh or
despair. His eyes were on the verge of glazing over when Kei
wrapped his arms around Ushio’s back and hugged him tight.
“Because the other time you went away. You left me behind, so that’s
why—”

“—…Yeah.”

That was when Ushio seriously wondered if it was okay for him to be
this loved.

“I’m sorry that I left you there. It was wrong of me. Let’s eat breakfast
together.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah.”

Whether it was the ramblings of a drunk, or the true feelings that

spilled out from a drunk, or even his true feelings while pretending to
be drunk—it didn’t matter. Because Ushio had no other choice but to
hug him back and whisper, “I promise.”

When morning came, Kei was hiding his entire body in the sheets
scattered with flower petals.

“Oi, morning.”

“Shut up.”

It was an incredibly brusque reply.

“Do you remember last night~?”

“…Just up to Firenze!”
“There you go again~ Should I play it back for you with your body?”

“No! Anyway, do you normally take advantage of people like that

when they’re that drunk!? Have you no conscience!?”

“I would reconsider it if it was our first time, but we’re no longer at

that stage, right? Wouldn’t I be closed off and distant if I held back?
That’s what I hear all the time.”

“It’s only at times like these…!”

“Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. You can get smashed
again any time you want.”

“Shut up.”

“Kei, let’s eat breakfast. I promised you, right?”

A breakfast that he couldn’t eat with Kei that one morning.

“I’m calling for room service. How do you want your eggs?”

“…Omelet.”

“Okay, okay.”

“On the harder side! I don’t want anything oozing out! I hate it when
it’s runny!”

“Okay, okay.”

Ushio stretched over to the bedside table. The sweet scent of roses
wafted over at that moment. He pressed the room service button to
order breakfast for two.

By the time the service cart arrived, Kei should probably, albeit
reluctantly, show him his very red face.
Translation Notes

“That pool” refers to a particular indoor pool that appears very

often in pinup shoots and adult videos. It’s become so recognizable
that it’s become a meme.
The ‘ferra’ sound is shorthand for fellatio in Japanese.
A5 is the best grade of Japanese wagyu beef.

Story 6: Head-Spinning Diary

Author’s Note: This Koi Dance cover is so nostalgic to me now! I

think Tatsuki would totally do a full copy of the dance for fun. I’m
strangely happy that I could issue a New Year’s book for an event
around New Year’s. I hope that I can write about what happens with
the calendar.

Illustrator’s Note: It’s Kunieda-san performing a certain dance that

was once popular. As is my usual habit, I used a mouse to create
this drawing and even added a ridiculous amount of detail to it. I was
really pleased with myself at the time, but when it came to actually
using the image, I got cold feet and shrank it down as much as
possible. All while thinking Tsuzuki-san probably wants to make
something like this too.

First published in 2016 in the doujinshi Head-Spinning Diary.

Translator Note: This story takes place after “Daydream Believer” at

the end of the year. You can view the Koi Dance from the TV drama
“Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu” and the full song “Koi” by Gen
Hoshino on YouTube.

Announcers weren’t comedians; they didn’t even have the

fundamental qualities needed to be comedians (obviously), but every
year, some unexpected job would inevitably drop on them before the
end of the year—and it wasn’t like he needed the extra cash or
exposure, he had plenty, and so there was nothing actually great
about it. Rather, most of the jobs just made him think, What the hell
is this? And sometimes the projects that came from the
entertainment production side just made him think that they used the
end-of-the-year demands as a means to satisfy their own personal
amusement. That was his own assessment of the situation anyway.
Maybe there was nothing he could do about his popularity, but damn
it, those numbskulls had better watch themselves.

Kunieda-san has his limits, you know, so handle him with care.

It was the start of November, and his schedule for December was
filling up with more and more work. That was when he was
presented with a job that was the greatest What the hell is this? of
his career. He had to control himself from heaving a sigh of utter
disbelief.

“Um, has everyone received a handout?”

A very large title was emblazoned across the handout that he was
holding.

It read, Asahi TV Male Announcers Calendar Project.

“Well, due to the great popularity of the Female Announcers

Calendar that we sell every year, we have decided to make a male
announcer version for next year to test the waters. The Contents
Division has selected 12 male announcers under the age of 30 to be
featured on the calendar as our models, which is why you are all
gathered here today. We have assigned each of you a month
according to a theme that we have envisioned for you, so please
take a look at the table on the second page.”

They had asked for none of their input and just informed the group of
their decision after the fact. They didn’t even assume that there
would be pushback. What the hell happened to human rights for
announcers?

“Ohhh, I’m August~” the junior colleague sitting next to him babbled.
“I wonder why?”

Obviously because you’re damn smothering, you doofus.

“We won’t be printing as many copies as the female version. It will

only be sold online or at our shop in the building, and we won’t be
doing a huge ad campaign about it either.”

People started chattering around them.

“What’s the point of printing the calendars, if we’re not going to

promote them?”

“A lot of people don’t want announcers treated like TV personalities.

That’s why they won’t give it the full budget. If we make do with what
we have for now and the calendar takes off, it’ll turn into a much
bigger project next year apparently.”

“So we’re the guinea pigs.”

“Excuse me, your attention please… And so the location of the

shoots will be either here or within the vicinity of the area. We will
prepare props to give each of the months a sense of the seasons,
but the wardrobe will be at your own expense.”

“Huh, does that mean I have to wear swim shorts for mine?”
“No, there won’t be any swimwear… I will email everyone individually
the days and times of your photo shoots and the details for the
themes of your months. Thank you, everyone, I look forward to
working on this project with you.”

The meeting was adjourned without the chance to voice any

objections. After the broadcast that day, Kei went up to Tatsuki to
give him a stiff warning.

“Oi, don’t you dare say anything about the calendar.”

“Huh? Oh, you mean to Tsuzuki-san? I see, so you’re too

embarrassed to tell him yourself, so you want me to tell him for you?”

Quit misconstruing my words on purpose.

“No, damn it. This isn’t Dacho Club, I’m not Ueshima, so you better
not say anything. If you leak it to him like you did last time, I’ll
seriously kill you.”1

“Last time… You mean the time with the hot springs? Wow, that
happened ages ago, and you still remember that~? But didn’t it go
well in the end because I told him?”

“Shut up and just keep your mouth shut!”

“What are you so embarrassed about when you go on TV every day

anyway?”

That was that, and this was this. He really didn’t want Ushio to see
him in anything unrelated to the news. If Ushio were to hear about it,
he would make fun of him for it, and then he’d buy a copy of the
calendar and hang it up. He’d keep it up from December of this year
until December of next year.

“But even if you hide it from him this year, what about next year?”
“I won’t be eligible next year.”

The calendar was for announcers under 30.

“Wha?? Oh, Paisen, you’ll be 30 next year!? 30! With that

personality of yours!? That’s hilarious~!”

“I don’t want to hear that from you, dammit!”

“Well, whatever, I’ll keep quiet, but don’t blame me if Tsuzuki-san

gets a hold of the information through a different source. So don’t go
making false accusations at me later, okay~?”

True, in this advanced information age, it wasn’t unusual to find out

information from anywhere. However, Ushio had been very busy
these days with a commission that he needed to complete before the
end of the year, and Kei was lucky that Ushio had no time to pay
attention to other things. And so his request to Santa Claus this year
—please let the calendar be sold-out (although he hated the thought)
without Ushio finding out about it so that he could get through the
new year without any incident. And if he didn’t get his wish, he’d
roast those damn reindeer and eat them.

The tips of the chopsticks were bobbing in the air.

“…What are you even doing?”

“Oh, sorry.”

Ushio’s eyes had also been adrift in a daze. He sat across from Kei
at their table for two, and he quickly regained his focus as if woken
from a dream.

“I was just thinking.”

“Okay then.”

It was a late-night meal, and the menu was a bowl of grilled salmon
ochazuke. Every time Ushio took a bite, he would wander off into
another world. He would wave his chopsticks around like he was
drawing a picture, or he stared up at the ceiling, or even whispered
“Maybe that” or “Maybe not” to himself. Kei decided to leave him
alone and quickly finished his food. He washed his own dishes and
got into the bath. Ushio’s head seemed to be filled with work, but
judging by his appearance, it wasn’t in a bad way, like creator’s
block. He ate his meals, and he still slept, although it was a little less
than normal. It was likely the normal flow of the creative process
instead of frustration.

It was fine for a working adult to be busy with work. Kei would love it
if Ushio continued to pour his heart and soul into his work and paid
no needless attention over Kei’s way.

So keep mulling over that work of yours.

However, just when his hair was fully dried and Ushio came over and
asked, “Huh, when did you take a bath?” it didn’t mean that it didn’t
worry him.

“You’re not starting to go senile, are you? I won’t take care of you,
you know!”

“If you toss me out to the streets when I’m senile, I might go
spreading rumors about Kunieda-san.”

The threat sounded all too real.

“I’ll abandon you in the mountains.”

Kei sat on the sofa to fast-forward through the news from the other
networks, and then he climbed into bed. Ushio came out from his
bath and called, “Let me know when it’s nice and toasty.”

“I’ve got no use for a thief.”

“A thief?”

“A body heat thief.”

“Oh, I like that~”

What was there to like about it? But Ushio laughed and said, “Good
night,” and withdrew to his own room. But even when Kei fidgeted
around in the bed by himself, he was still cold.

In the end, Kei fell asleep without calling for Ushio, and in the
morning there was no sign of the thief in the warm bed. He went to
the room next door and saw him wrapped in a blanket sleeping.

There was no bed in Ushio’s space. The sofa was only large enough
to lie down in if he folded his legs, so then where did he sleep?
Typically, in the bed in Kei’s room, but when he took naps during his
breaks like he did now, he would use the hammock strung between
the walls in a corner. Ushio had installed it himself, and he liked it a
lot, but Kei hadn’t used it even once. No, it wasn’t that he didn’t trust
Ushio, but it would hurt if the fixtures fell out and he fell to the floor.

Kei watched the sleeping face, noticing that the eyelashes didn’t
even tremble, and thought, He can sure conk out over here. He
ended up sneezing, and Ushio immediately opened his eyes.

“…Don’t wander around in such light clothes.”

“And what about you?”

You just have a single blanket and a net.

“I thought about going to the bed, but my hands and feet were cold,
and I thought that I might wake you.”

“Heh, that’s how you catch a cold like that.”

“And if I catch a cold?”

“I’ll nurse you back to health.”

“Seriously? Do it, do it~”

Heh, you can’t even relax when you’re feeling weak— Hmm, but
maybe it’s different now?

Kei looked down at Ushio to evaluate the seriousness of his smile,

and Ushio offered out his hand.

“Come here.”

“I refuse.”

“Why?”

“It’s terrifying.”

“It’s rated to hold 200 kilos,2 it’ll be fine. If it starts creaking ‘Eee,
eee, eee,’ it’ll be bad though.”

What sort of sound was that supposed to mimic?

“Anyway, I’m starving!”

Kei smacked the hand and made his demand.

“Yes, yes.”
Ushio slowly sat up and placed his feet to the floor. The hammock
flexed in response, and the shadows on the floor swayed.

“I’ll try to finish my work as early as possible.”

“No, it’s fine.” Kei shook his head solemnly.

“Hmm?”

“No need to worry about me. Don’t compromise on your work.”

“I’m not compromising anything though.”

“Give your work your 100 percent focus until your deadline.”

Since it would be a problem if he wasn’t distracted for another

month.

“Um, okay…?”

Normally, Kei would face more suspicion at this point, but his
boyfriend was half-distracted as he nodded back with a dubious look.

The photo shoot for the calendar was held at a place truly within the
vicinity. The plan was to have Kei hold out a present (a prop) against
a backdrop of trees lit up in Christmas lights from a street in the
neighborhood. He felt like this location was more perfunctory than
the hotel pool where his idiot junior colleague did his photo shoot.

“So you would like a smile here?” Kei asked to confirm with the
director, and he got an insistence back to remember the theme.

“It’s a smile, but a bit of a sly one that says, ‘I’m sorry, will you forgive
me,’ as you hold out a present you prepared for your girlfriend for
Christmas after being so busy that you sort of neglected her for a
while!”

It wasn’t a theme; it was a damn roleplay fantasy. Just like that wall
slam project from a while ago—their stupid self-interests were on full
damn display.

“Um… how is this?”

“Please make it a little more indulgent.”

“How about this?”

“I think a woman would like a tiny hint of a sadistic streak in it! But at
the same time, there should be a slight nuance of uneasiness too…”

“Are you really sure about that? If you combine all those things
together, won’t you just get an emotionally deranged person?”

“Kunieda-san can do it! He’ll be fine!”

There was no unhappier He’ll be fine than this, Kei thought, but it
was work, and he put all his effort into finishing it. Afterwards, he
went straight to the year-end party for the announcer department.
Just because everyone was busy in December, why would they hold
the party earlier to compensate? Did they even have their priorities
straight? There was no need to have the damn party. Of course, Kei
escaped the afterparty as usual, but there was the customary year-
end raffle that ate up quite a bit of time. Furthermore, Kei had won
one of the best prizes in the raffle—a bath powder set with a coupon
for a 3-day, 2-night stay for two at a hot springs in Tohoku. The
sponsor for the prize was one of the group leaders, and it was a
pretty huge hassle.

He was not afforded the choice to not use the coupon, and Kei had
no inclination to go on the trip himself—so he thought that he might
as well do something nice for his parents, and he messaged his
mother after he got back from the party.

“Want to go on a trip to the hot springs?”

“Let me think about it.”

“Not with me! With Dad.”

“I’ll go, I’ll go.”

There was no way that he wanted to go on a trip with his parents

either. However, he felt strangely annoyed when he sent over the
photo of the coupon. As long as she had the coupon code, she
should be able to make the reservation.

Ushio couldn’t be found in the apartment. At night, he would film at

his studio in the basement, and during the day, he would work on the
computer in his room. With that cycle established for his work, the
only time that Kei really got to see him was during breakfast. But
even then Ushio would be spaced out and lost in thought. Things like
chores and housework was a good change of pace for him, and
Ushio finished them properly despite spending less time on them
than usual.

When they had lived separately and Ushio was busy, Kei was pretty
much left alone, but when they did get together to talk, Ushio
focused on him properly and didn’t space out like he did now. But the
reason why it had been so different before wasn’t because Ushio’s
work right now was particularly hectic; it was because Ushio had
gone out of his way to prioritize Kei before everything else. And the
Ushio now was probably him at his most natural state. In terms of
coming over frequently versus actually living together, the emotional
states between the two were unquestionably different.

Well, anyway, there were times when Kei became too busy with his
own things to pay attention to Ushio as well. It was best to keep
things stress-free, so he could deal with it. Actually, he would prefer
to have Ushio stay like this for a while. Even now, Kei only had to
walk over to see his face. They lived together with their connected
rooms and shared the same bed after all.

There was no way that he was feeling lonely.

He heard the sound of the door to their building floor open. After a
while, their apartment door opened, and Ushio showed his face.

“I’m home. How was the party?”

Of course, he wouldn’t tell him about the photo shoot for the
calendar that he had today.

“Exhausting.”

“Is that all? What’s this?” Ushio picked up the raffle prize on the
table.

“I won it in the raffle. I’m giving the travel coupon to my parents.”

“Hnnn, then I’ll just put away the bath powder. I’m hungry, so I’m
thinking of making udon. Want some?”

“Yeah.”

“Which one you want? Kamaage style or an egg dropped in it?”3

“Kamatama,” Kei replied immediately. “Kamatama with butter and

soy sauce. And a mountain of agedama on top.”4

“You seriously like fat… Hmm, I can’t remember, do we still have

agedama?”

When Ushio headed to the kitchen, Kei received a LINE message

from his mother.
“I made the reservations just now at the hot springs. We’ll be there
from New Year’s Eve on, just to let you know~”

“…What?” Kei uttered aloud.

“Hmm?” Ushio lifted his head from the pot.

“Uh, it’s nothing. I need to make a quick call.”

Kei moved over to Ushio’s area and called his mother.

“Are you fine with buns and things for your souvenir?”

“Meat or seafood… Wait, that’s not the issue here! Why did you
purposely pick New Year’s to go!?”

“Because it’s a very generous coupon with no exclusion dates~ It’s a

housewife’s dream, you know? There’s all the meals with tons of little
plates that I don’t have to clean up. I don’t have to put away the
futons, and I can hop in the baths as much as I want without
bothering with the laundry. Plus all the nice towels~ Ahh, I can’t wait,
I can’t wait~”

When Kei heard all this, he caved because he did want his mother to
enjoy herself after all. However…

“What about my visit home?”

“Why don’t you come on the 2nd?”

“I go back to work on the 4th!”

“It’s not like we’re incredibly far away. You can come over whenever
you feel like it. Do you want to see your parents that badly?”

“Of course not!!”

“So then I’ll just give you my greetings really early for now. Have a
happy New Year. Give my regards to Tsuzuki-kun too. Good night.”

Maybe because it was late at night, but she clearly hung up on him.

Moron, I don’t care if I go back home. The issue here is that Tsuzuki-
kun.

They hadn’t talked about it specifically, and Kei hadn’t bought

Shinkansen tickets either, but Ushio liked visiting Kei’s parents, and
Kei had been thinking about going there for New Year’s again. It was
a little hard for Kei to disappoint Ushio. Just a little, okay? But still, it
would have been too much if his parents had eagerly awaited his
return over New Year’s. It was their graciousness that never asked
for anything from Kei that let him feel comfortable there.

“Oi, are you done with your call? The udon’s ready.”

“Coming.”

The steam from the udon on the table obscured Ushio’s face, and
Kei roughly pulled his bowl over without thinking. The smile that he
finally saw asked, “What is it?” Ushio was fully present now.

“Don’t worry, I won’t steal your portion.”

“I know that!”

Kamatama needed to be eaten while it was hot, so Kei poured soy

sauce over the noodles and mixed it all up to wolf down the food for
now. Ushio seemed to be distracted again, which probably made him
eat that much slower than Kei, but when Ushio finished, he
immediately got up.

“Do you want coffee?”

“Yeah.”

Ushio used a dripper pot to make two cups of coffee. He picked up

one of the mugs with a lid on it and headed for the front door again.

“You can leave the dishes as they are. I’ll wash them in the morning.”

“Uh, oi, wait.”

“Hmm?”

Kei wondered if he should give this news to Ushio now, since it might
affect his work, but he would be busy anyway, so there was no way
around it.

“Just now my mom said that… she’s going to the hot springs with my
dad for New Year’s.”

“Oh, okay.”

Ushio’s response was quick.

“Was that what the phone call was about?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess we’ll have to return her Tupperware at another time then.”

“Oi, act more discouraged here!”

Otherwise my hesitation would be for nothing.

“Huh? But it’s nice that they’re going on a trip by themselves. Oh, did
you think that I would be disappointed?”

Kei answered with a “Not really,” which could only be an affirmation,

and Ushio smiled wryly at him.
“We can go there any time even if it’s not New Year’s. Plus I look
forward to ringing in a relaxed New Year’s at home. Anywhere is fine
as long as we’re together.”

Kei was incredibly annoyed that Ushio threw a fastball directly at him
when they hadn’t had much contact recently. He turned his head and
sulked.

“…Even though you said that you would visit them by yourself.”

“That was obviously a joke. I’m sure that I’d only make your parents
feel awkward if I had shown up without you.”

No, I think that they’d be fine with it.

“I think it’s incredible that they can say that we can come over even
without the excuse of New Year’s or anything.”

But instead, they’re not around for New Year’s… Hey, wait.

“What about your grandma?”

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to visit her?”

It wasn’t like Ushio didn’t have any relatives. Even with that father of
his removed from the equation, what was Ushio planning to do about
his grandmother who lived by herself? Ushio could truly see her at
any time, but it was a season that could be particularly gloomy to
spend New Year’s alone.

“My grandma has trip plans too.” Ushio shrugged his shoulders.
“Every year she goes to see the Takarazuka Revue.”5

“Huh? You’re not referring to Hibiya, are you?”

“Yup, she goes all the way to the Grand Theater in Takarazuka.
She’s been doing it for maybe 10 years now. She says that she’s just
going along with her friends, but she probably enjoys it too. She
goes at the end of the year, dresses up in a kimono for the New
Year’s Day performance, and comes back on the 4th.”

“Hnnn…”

Good for her, then. He sort of felt a little inferior compared to her.
That grandmother was a pretty active lady.

“What? Were you worried about my grandma? What a good child

you are~”

Ushio ruffled Kei’s hair, and Kei retorted, “I wasn’t!”

That really wasn’t what he had in mind. When Kei was someone who
had everything, then of course he would feel concerned when others
didn’t. It was the same as if there was someone starving on the other
side of a glass wall—he wouldn’t be able to enjoy his own meal. It
was nothing but his own self-centered concern. After all, he had no
intentions of sharing what he had with others.

“Thank you,” Ushio whispered. He seemed to have seen through

Kei’s concerns as he pulled Kei into a hug with one arm and patted
his back.

“Ok, I’m off then. Lock up after me.”

“Mn.”

From the moment Ushio turned around, Kei knew that his head had
already disappeared to the basement studio. He had switched
completely away from the Kei channel. Kei locked up behind him and
carried the now lukewarm mug of coffee into Ushio’s room. He
tugged at the ropes of the hammock and sat himself in it, but he
changed his mind, thinking that he couldn’t do it after all.

This space was missing its owner, but it still felt like Ushio’s place
here. The furniture and layout were completely different from Ushio’s
old home, and there was no distinct style about it, just that it was
Ushio’s place. Before Kei had realized it, this empty new home of
theirs had just become this way. Anyone who knew Ushio to some
extent would probably agree with the sentiment. There was no trace
of any attempt to unify the place into some kind of theme or style like
monochromatic, or Asian, or Scandinavian, but it didn’t feel chaotic
or all over the place.

When and what things contributed to the foundation of a person’s

personality? Ushio had changed a little—just like how Kei had
changed himself—but his home still gave off the same essence as
before. Kei was sure that it would be the case no matter where or
how he lived. When he thought this, he felt a little comforted when he
missed the old home that they had lost. The coffee that Ushio made
for him still tasted good even cold.

The days flipped through December like a daily calendar pad swept
in the wind, and somehow Ushio managed to deliver the video
commission before Christmas. All that was left were touch-ups and
corrections, but that would be saved for after the new year. That
meant he was done with his work for now, and he planned to close
out the year by finishing up any leftover paperwork. After Kei left for
work, Ushio went over to see how his grandmother was doing. First
he stopped by a crowded department store to buy a soft muted red
shawl and had it gift-wrapped. The color was similar to a Japanese
plum mixed with a little milk. When he handed it to his grandmother
and told her, “It’s a Christmas present,” she looked a little bashful as
she asked, “It’s not too cute, is it?” as she brought it up to her
shoulders again and again.
“I was thinking of cooking azuki beans and making a red bean soup
dessert. I have some frozen rice flour dumplings that I can use.
Could you remove the bad beans for me?”

“Yes, yes.”

Ushio picked up a handful of azuki beans, which felt nice and cool to
the touch, and started removing the discolored and broken beans.
The work was actually pretty fun. He could understand why there
was a monster related to such a thing.6

“Okay, I’m done.”

“That’s fast. It’s helpful to have a young person here with good eyes.”

His grandmother transferred the azuki beans from the colander to a

pot full of water to boil before draining them again. The second time
the beans came to a rolling boil, it removed the bitterness, but the
beans still remained stubbornly hard. When it came to a boil a third
time, the beans were cooked at a low heat, and with patience, the
beans would finally become nice and soft.

“I’ll watch the pot for you, so take a seat.”

“Really? Okay then… Add some water to it from time to time.”

“Okay.”

The smell of cooked azuki beans rose up with the steam.

“So you’re going to Takarazuka again this year?”

“Yes. When I see such lovely beautiful people at the start of the year,
it feels like a blessing. Like my heart has been washed.”

“Be careful that you don’t catch the norovirus or the flu.”
“Well, when it comes this age though…” An enlightened smile
appeared on the profile that peered at a newspaper through a
magnifying glass. “Everything becomes a staircase to the other
side.”

“Don’t say that.” Ushio raised his voice a little. “If you start feeling
sick, even if it’s just a little, go to the hospital immediately, and give
me a call.”

“Yes, yes. The old have to listen to the grandchildren after all.”

The azuki beans simmered in the pot, and Ushio added just enough
water to replace the water that had evaporated. The contents of the
pot cooled a little, but the flame of the burner heated it back up.
Ushio now had a partner who would add water back to him before he
burned or dried out. Kei didn’t constantly supervise Ushio like this,
but he would notice when Ushio had boiled down a little too far. That
Ushio knew that he would reflect on this happiness over and over
again in the future—that was a happiness in itself.

“…Grandma.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry that I can’t do anything for you.”

“—What’s wrong? That came out of the blue.”

His grandmother looked up from the newspaper and gave Ushio a

puzzled stare.

“Hearing something like that while we’re watching the pot. I’m not
quite sure how to react.”

“I was able to become an adult because I had you, Grandma, but I

haven’t been able to do anything for you in return.”
Of course, he would take care of her as much as he could if she
happened to come down with a major illness or injury, or lost her
mobility due to old age. But even if that were to happen, Ushio had
Kei at the center of his life, constant and invariable. When Kei took
care for him, Ushio felt a prickling sense of guilt towards that
unwavering steadiness. Up until now they had each faced things one
on one before, but they very simply became two against one.

The heat from the bottom of the pot circulated the beans in the
bubbling water. That was the only sound that drifted through this tiny
dwelling. Eventually his grandmother took a breath and said, “I don’t
want you looking down on me just because I’m old.”

“No, it’s not like that.”

“I beg to differ. You’re young, and you’ve decided that your

grandmother who lives by herself is lonely, helpless, and weak.
While it’s not wrong, it’s also not true. I can’t say that this is the best
time of my life, but I don’t think that it’s the opposite either.”

It was a careful, deliberate voice, like the gentle flame that heated
the hard, half-cooked beans.

“But it is true that I used to be afraid, like anyone else. Of becoming

dry, frail, and wrinkled. But well, time just passes some way or
another. I once read in a book that you should surrender to the flow
of time, and I quite agree. I no longer think that growing older and
weaker is something that has to be sad.”

Ushio’s grandmother had always been “Grandma” to him. As time

went on, that feeling had only grown deeper. But now Ushio felt like
for the first time in his life he had heard the words of Tsuzuki Sayoko,
the human—an ordinary woman. Maybe she had judged that her
grandson had grown old enough that he could hear those words
from her.
“I mean, think about it. If I could go back in time and start over, I
would have to watch my daughter’s death again. Even if I could
change her destiny like a movie, that fear would always haunt me. If
just my body became young again right now, I would have to
experience the depression of growing old again. And if I could stay
young forever… I would hate that the most. That would truly make
me all alone. Ushio, right now I’m just happy that I no longer have to
bury anyone else that I love. Even if someone dies in the future, it
won’t be long before I follow them. It’s a huge salvation that I didn’t
have when I was young.”

Ushio checked that the beans were well submerged before leaving
the stove. He kneeled down in front of his grandmother and gently
took the thin little hands into his own. In his memories, when it was
winter she was always applying hand cream to them, and he hadn’t
understood why she had needed such a heavy product because his
own body was young and full of moisture.

“Ushio, have you found someone you love?”

“Yeah.”

“So you’re thinking about yourself. When you’ve found happiness,

everyone else looks paler to you in comparison, hmm?”

“Maybe you’re right,” Ushio admitted.

“Oh, you’re still a child,” his grandmother said, laughing at him. “I

would like to meet them one of these days. Would you introduce
us?”

“It should be fine, but the surprise might be bad for your heart.”

“Anyone is fine with me,” she said, pressing a cold hand to his
cheek. “…If they’re someone who won’t leave you behind, then
anyone is fine.”
No one could predict the future, and his grandmother knew this fact
painfully well. But this was the one condition that she could not help
but wish for Ushio.

“I think we’ll be fine, for the time being.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. …Somehow they just give off the feeling that everything will
be fine. Like they’re just born with that feeling in them.”

“Like a silver spoon? As in never going hungry?”

Gold would be better than silver. It would sell for higher too. Kei
would probably say something like that.

When the beans were boiled to the point that they were soft enough
to be crushed by hand, his grandmother threw in a shocking amount
of sugar in the pot.

“Isn’t that a lot?”

“It’s the perfect amount. You can have it with kelp cooked in soy
sauce, so it’s good to have it on the sweet side. The secret to
making anything good is to throw away your hesitation.”

“Okay, I see.”

She added water and a little salt, and after cooking it for another 10
minutes, it was done. She added the rice flour dumplings that had
been softened in hot water, and the two of them ate the dessert
together. It was hot, and the sweetness was designed to be sweet—
which was cloying, but it made him relieved.

“Grandma, what’s that?”

A narrow white tube leaned against a corner of the room.

“A calendar. I got it for free, but the dates are so small that I can’t
read it.”

“Hnnn, can I take a look at it?”

“Be my guest.”

When Ushio removed the plastic cover and unrolled the calendar, on
the cover was a grid design with pictures of men in each box. Were
they the male Takarazuka roles? Nope. Clearly not, because
Minagawa was on it.

Above all else, Kunieda-san was on it too. And it said Asahi TV Male
Announcer Calendar.

“…Where did you get this from?”

“When Kunieda-san came to visit me, he gave me some Asazou

goods. They were so cute that I wondered if they had any other
items, so I called the network to ask about them. They told me that if
I joined their member’s club, I could buy them at a discount through
mail order, and I decided to apply. This month when I bought all the
Christmas versions of the goods, I got this for free with my order.”

“Hnn…”

When Ushio checked the Asahi TV online shop on his phone, the
calendar was sold-out and out-of-stock due to popular demand. Of
course Ushio had not known that Kei had done such a photo shoot,
and he could guess why he hadn’t told him about it. Ushio flipped
through the pages and found Announcer Kunieda featured on the
month of December. It was for work use and so Kei rarely directed it
at Ushio, but in the photo, Kei gave an indulgent smile as he held out
a present. Oh, this was too cute. It made his head spin.

“Grandma, can I have this?”

“Be my guest.”

He had secured an unexpected time bomb. He would pretend to

know nothing, and then he would hang it up next year in December.
Just the delight of imagining Kei’s reaction made him feel like he had
received a present. His grandmother divided the leftover red bean
soup into ziploc bags and gave them to him to take home. He could
add rice flour dumplings or mochi to the soup, or even add cocoa
powder, or boil it down to spread onto toast.

“Okay then, be careful, have a happy New Year.”

“Yes, yes, thank you, have a happy New Year.”

They exchanged seasonal greetings, and Ushio left his

grandmother’s home. For some reason, his feet took him towards his
old family home. More than half a year had passed by in a flash
since Kei had taken him from the place, it couldn’t have changed
very much—or so he had thought, but there was one very clear
change that he spotted. A simple little police box had been put up
across from the front gate, and a uniformed police officer was
standing there.

Oh right, now that he’s a Cabinet minister, he gets security detail.

Ushio was carrying a long rod-shaped item (a calendar). If he

loitered around, the police officer would probably question him (and
the Cabinet minister most likely wouldn’t cover for him), so he looked
at the darkened house from a distance and turned around to leave.
He placed earbuds in both of his ears and listened to music on his
cell phone.

The shuffled playlist played Substitute by The Who. When he was

younger, he did not know what the lyric I was born with a plastic
spoon in my mouth meant. He walked at a brisk pace and left behind
a trail of white from his breath. Powdered snowflakes disappeared
into the foggy trail.

His father had become the substitute for an uncle whom Ushio had
never known or seen. And Ushio did not want to become a substitute
for his father. Even now, he didn’t know which path was the correct
one, but now Ushio no longer felt unbearable whenever he looked at
the snow. It hadn’t been a consequence of time; it was because Kei
had been there for him.

Ushio loved Kei. To hell with any substitutes, there was no one who
even resembled him. He would never have to say to Kei, Have a
happy New Year, and that made him happy. They had only been
apart for half a day, but Ushio wanted to see him as soon as
possible. As night fell, Ushio once again entered the even more
crowded department store, and this time he bought a silver-colored
spoon for Kei. It was made of aluminum, which readily transmitted
body heat, and apparently it made it easier to eat even rock-hard ice
cream. If the coldness got colder, there would be a job for it to do—to
melt something sweet using Kei’s body heat.

Kei returned home past midnight. He was carrying a medium-sized

cardboard box.

“Did you pick up a cat or something?”

“No, stupid.”

After setting down the box on the table and tearing off the courier
slip, he grunted at Ushio. Apparently Kei wanted him to open it.
Ushio peeled off the tape and opened the box, and there was
another box inside. It hadn’t been wrapped, and he could see what it
was immediately.
“Oh, an espresso maker. The one that I bought two years ago.”

“It’s not. Take a closer look,” Kei said. “It’s the newest model from
this year. It’s also 5,000 yen more expensive!”7

“Oh, pardon me.”

When Ushio took the item out, it was nearly identical, down to the
same color. He hadn’t bought a new one because he had felt no
inconvenience from not having one, but with the item right in front of
him, he felt a nostalgia well up inside him that surprised him.

“Put it over on your side.”

“Huh? But it’s more convenient over here.”

“Just do it.”

Ushio could tell from the short response that it was important to Kei
that it was placed inside Ushio’s territory. And he understood why Kei
hadn’t bought the exact same item either. He loved Ushio’s previous
house, but this place was their new home.

“…Okay then.”

Ushio hugged Kei over his scarf and coat. The cold air from the
outside seemed to compress and diffuse from the boundaries where
their bodies touched.

“You’re cold. Didn’t you take the taxi?”

“I had to get the package from the convenience store.”

“Oh, got it.”

Ushio touched their noses together. The coolness was like a smooth
stone, and it felt nice.
“Thank you.”

He shifted his nose just a little, and their lips met.

“Let me warm you up.”

The bath was hotter and shallower than usual. It would take more
time to warm him from his chest up, but with another pressed against
him, it should probably get better. Kei soaked in the water, watching
his toes poke out from the tub, and Ushio walked into the bathroom
to wash up first. Ushio always started washing from the neck down
(not that Kei had watched him all that much), but Kei loved the slight
curved line of Ushio’s throat when he did so—and that was Kei’s little
secret. Ushio never used cleansing foam or soap on his face and
just rinsed it off with water.

“Move forward a bit… Pardon the intrusion~”

Ushio took up a position behind Kei. The water level rose in an

instant and sloshed against the tub. Ushio threaded his arms to the
front of Kei’s body and tore open the packet of bath soak powder in
front of him. It was the prize that he had won from the year-end party
raffle. The fine powder dropped into the water and immediately
turned it a cloudy white.

“Mix it up well.”

Kei ran his hands around the overcrowded bathtub, and the milky
white color diffused through the rest of the water.

“It doesn’t smell like anything,” Kei muttered.

“Hmm?”
“Don’t these things normally have scents? Like a forest or a rose
scent.”

“There are some that are unscented.”

When Kei lifted his hand to check the package, the bathwater felt
different from before.

“…This is strangely slimey.”

“Because that’s what it’s supposed to be.”

Okay, sometimes the hot springs had baths similar to this, but it felt a
little thicker here. Was there not enough water for it? It seemed more
like a gel.

He thought that it was totally weird and checked the empty package.

“…Powder for a massage gel bath? What the hell is this!?”

“Oi, oi, don’t play dumb here.”

Ushio hugged Kei from behind, and his chest stuck to Kei’s back all
slick and wet.

“It’s the bath powder that you won from work.”

“I had no idea, okay!?”

It was a product from that company with the best of science, right?8
That was all that had registered with him, and he hadn’t thought to
look at it too closely. But now that he thought back on it, the group
leader had been smirking a lot when he said Aww, I wanted a girl to
win the prize~

Damn it, I’ll report you to compliance.

“Idiot! What if it clogs up the pipes!?”

“Then I guess we’ll be homeless for New Year’s?”

“This isn’t funny!!”

“It says that it’s safe for home use. We just wash it out afterwards.
Ahh, it feels nice and thick, huh? I’m glad we followed the
recommendations to make the bath hotter and with less water.”

Ushio caught an ear between his lips. “Right?”

Kei shivered in reaction, and the bathwater swayed.

“No, I’m getting out…”

“But you’re not warmed up yet.”

“Nnh.”

Ushio traced the back of the ear down with his tongue and
repeatedly nibbled on the earlobe. A slight tremor reached Kei’s
heart—that maybe Ushio might actually eat him—but he wondered
why it was never a bad type of fluttering.

“Ahh…”

A hand clung to his chest, and it seemed to sound out the speed and
echoes of his heartbeat and moved on to fondle his nipples. They
pebbled under the smooth touch of the fingers smothered in a thick
smooth fluid. The melting sensation of the wet teasing and the
tingling of nerves underneath the skin seemed to swell and grow.
Ushio clung to Kei like a large playful dog, nibbling and sucking the
back of his neck over and over again. If he left any marks, Kei
wondered if they would disappear by the weekend.
“No, aaah.”

The swollen sensitive spots throbbed with the temperature of the

water. It was like a soft and warm mouth toyed with him lazily there.
When one nipple was rubbed between the tips of Ushio’s fingers, he
could have sworn that it was two tongues that teased him instead.
Sweat collected on his forehead and temples. Ushio murmured,
“Salty,” as he licked the back of Kei’s neck.

“Ahh, the heat is rushing to my head…”

“Okay, how about we cool you off a little.”

“Ah, nooo!”

His body was lighter than usual, and naturally it was easier to handle
as a consequence. Ushio lifted Kei’s legs to prop them up on either
side of the tub.

“You should be fine if we cool off your legs.”

“Nooo—”

Ushio reached for a very tender area which had already shown signs
of desire, and it submitted to Ushio’s caresses. His legs wanted to
close, but his cock wanted them to stay spread open, and in the end,
it was clear which emotions had won out.

“Nnn… Ahh, ahh…”

Kei’s body slipped forward as far as his legs were lifted, and his
head came to rest near Ushio’s neck. Kei rubbed his damp hair
against him and writhed as he moaned. He couldn’t see anything
through the cloudy white bathwater, but the hand movements that
stirred up his cock made waves on the surface, and the noises below
told them the secrets of what was happening there.
“Nnnh, ah.”

The hand clad in slick stroked him submerged in the slippery gel. It
was frustrating to feel no friction, but it still aroused him. Kei grabbed
at Ushio’s head behind him. Instead of sheets, he tugged at what
could have been Ushio’s hair or his ears, but Ushio made no
complaints.

“Kei.”

“Nhh!”

Ushio came down on Kei with a hard intense kiss. His impatience
plunged his tongue into Kei’s mouth before Kei could respond in
kind. The bathroom was filled with sounds of water, and the clacking
of teeth on teeth rang distinctly in his ears. But then it disappeared
into the intimate exchange of their lips, and Kei didn’t know which
was what anymore. Kei traced the back of Ushio’s teeth with his
tongue, and it seemed like in return Ushio pumped his hard swollen
cock, stimulating the particularly sensitive tip with his fingers. His
hips trembled and shook on their own. It was probably a biological
response that sought copulation inside another’s body, but Kei’s
desire was for something different.

His hole throbbed to be filled full and deep.

“…Nnh, mmh, mmh— Ah, aaah…!”

The place gasped and twitched with just a touch, and Kei wanted
Ushio to fill it with his hard hot desire.

“Nooo, ah.”

The tip of a finger slipped inside. The gel wasn’t as slick as the lube
that they normally used for sex, but it was much warmer than
normal, and he softened up with ease. There was no resistance
even if the finger pumped in and out of him right away.
“Ahh, ah, ah.”

Ushio filled him with lust from the inside. The fingers probed his heat
source through his inner walls, and just when he froze up in
pleasure, the hand stroked him under the sensitive ridge of the head,
and Kei felt like his body would float away.

“Noo, d-don’t do them both… at the same time… ngh.”

“But I’m restraining you so that you don’t come inadvertently?”

“Liar.”

Ushio’s fingers unraveled Kei’s body. Strong and weak, gentle and
sly. Teased with the rhythm of the waves in the too tiny sea, his toes
fluttered, propped up on the bathtub, eloquently expressing the
pleasure that he tasted. They would curl down tight, curve back up
the next moment, then splay out in a fan before he knew it—
regardless of his own wishes.

“Ah… Ngh, noo, ah.”

“I can’t see the most important parts under the water, but this is
enough to turn me on,” Ushio said, taming the twitching hole with a
twist of his fingers.

“Shut up, ah, ahh.”

“It’s like your feet are moaning.”

“Nnnh…!”

His heels slid on the slippery enamel. Ushio removed his fingers
slowly, in a way that made his touch linger. He brought Kei’s legs
back into the tub and folded them with his knees up. The hands that
pushed his back were terribly gentle, but Kei placed his hands on the
tub to make it easier to slide over. The hands followed the curve of
his back downwards and wrapped around his hips to lift them up,
and there was enough strength in them to dig into his skin.

“Ahh—”

The cock that fit up against him from behind repeatedly rubbed wet
and slick against the little cavity. Kei’s insides had expected to be
filled, and it clenched down tightly by itself, his belly buzzing again.

“No, don’t do that, you idiot…”

“Sorry.”

Ushio laughed wryly. Apparently he really hadn’t done it on purpose.

“It’s just too slippery everywhere.”

“And whose fault is it!?”

“I’m sorry, okay?”

Two fingers slipped into his hole tactlessly (but with an awareness of
his limits), spreading it open to allow something that wasn’t his
fingers inside in between them.

“Aaah…!”

When Kei swallowed the hard bulging head, it was the most painful
part of the process, but it probably gave him the most ecstasy.

“Ahh— Ah, Ushio.”

“Hmm… Here, right? Where you like it.”

“Noo, ahhh!”
Ushio took careful aim at his most sensitive spot, and pleasure ran
straight through Kei’s body. The tip of his cock skimmed the surface
of the water and released his come over the similarly colored fluid.

“Ahh— …Ah!”

Before Kei dropped from his climax, Ushio repeatedly thrust into him,
and his cock was forced to spit out any remnants that was still inside
him.

“Nooo, aaah, ah, ahh— Wait, no, not yet…”

“Liar. You’re twisting your hips for more.”

“No, I said not yet… Nhh!”

Due to the volume of the tub, Kei’s legs were nearly fully closed, and
the sensation of being split apart was more intense than usual. The
bathwater was rough and choppy, but he could clearly hear the
sounds similar to sex. The sounds similar to a very filthy kiss.

“Ah… ah, ahh.”

Ushio rubbed Kei from the inside, and the blood vessels all over his
body boiled. When Ushio pushed in and out of him just at the
entrance, his back flexed with dissatisfaction, completely unfulfilled
inside, and when it finally thrust deep inside of him, Kei bent his
head back to expose his throat.

“Ah, no, nnnh, so good…”

“Yeah? …That makes me happy.”

“Ahh.”

Ushio hugged Kei tightly from behind, and the external flash of heat
mixed with the excitement of his emotions intoxicated him. Ushio
used his hips to thrust into him with short brief strokes, quickly
catching up to Kei.

“Aaah.”

It must have been hard to move and indulge in his pleasure, but
Ushio never let go of Kei. His arms wrapped around him as if to cling
to Kei, all while they were connected with their most exposed parts.
You’re so stupid, Kei thought. He reached an arm back to stroke
Ushio’s hair. The wet head nuzzled Kei like a cat. You’re so stupid,
he thought again and smiled. He could tell that Ushio was smiling too
against his back.

Kei wrapped himself under two layers of blankets and fearfully tried
sleeping in Ushio’s hammock. When he put his weight on it, it flexed
down, but then it suddenly stopped when some kind of balance was
established. It was different from a futon or a bed. There was a
unique sense of stability and floatiness about it. It felt nice. He could
get addicted to it, once he got used to it.

“Kei?” Ushio peeked his head over. “What? You’re sleeping over
here?”

Kei stuck just a hand out from the blankets to call him over, and
when Ushio was lured within range, he grabbed his wrist and pulled
him over.

“Aren’t you scared?”

“I’m freezing.”

Even in the darkened room, Kei could tell that a huge smile had
broken out on Ushio’s face. He stretched the center of the net and
slipped into it with practiced movements.
“Don’t you dare move! Don’t shake it around! And this isn’t Dacho
Club, ok!?”

“Yes, yes.”

The two of them were tucked together snugly like they were wrapped
in the same cocoon, sharing each other’s breath to the quiet rustling
of clothes. Their body heat mingled. It was like a cradle that
breathed. There was a stillness and a tranquility that seemed to
belong to a time prior to birth or perhaps after death. Morning would
probably arrive soon, but even if the room filled up with light, he
would pretend not to notice it. He would stay like this together until
he got tired of it. If the short day fell to become night again, he
wouldn’t mind it, Kei thought.

The fried shrimp turned out great for today. It almost seemed to be a
waste to put them in the soba noodle soup after letting the excess oil
drain off. He would fry a bunch of agedama while he was at it. Kei
would throw the crunchy bits into his miso soup, rice, ochazuke, or
whatever, and they would disappear fast.

It was impossible for him to prepare the full spread of New Year
osechi dishes, but he made simmered shrimp, char sui, and
marinated seafood, and there was red and white kamaboko fish cake
and herring roe that he had bought. Also a nice Japanese sake. For
dessert, there was ice cream and red bean soup. He kind of threw
everything together, but there was still a spirit of New Year’s, he
thought. And if they felt like something warm to drink, he could make
espresso at any time.

He had a faint memory of that old house at New Year’s, and it had
taken 5 or 6 cooks to prepare everything for the celebration. There
had been an endless stream of visitors to the house; shoes and
sandals crowded the entranceway, and strangers who made him
think, Who are you?, would give him New Year’s money like an
offering. He had hated it all. And there would be 50,000 or even
100,000 yen9 stuffed in the envelopes, and as a child he had
wondered uneasily what kind of human being that these strangers
had thought that he was. What would he do if they had thought that
that was only natural for him? What would he do if one day he
became a person who thought that this was all natural?

But he remembered well the multi-tiered food boxes that they had
only used once a year and the vivid gold lacquerwork that had
decorated the boxes. And when he thought how he would love to put
those color combinations into his work one day, that made it fun for
him.

“Food’s done~ Want to eat in front of the TV?”

“I want to eat at the table.”

Kei had spent almost the entire day lounging in front of the TV, and
he turned it off and got up off the sofa.

“You could have left it on.”

“I’m tired of it.”

“We can’t play mahjong with just the two of us. Maybe I should have
bought the Game of Life for us or something.”

Kei snorted at him when he said that.

“Why would we play a boring game about dreams and fantasies

when it’s been smooth sailing in real life?”

“Well, I suppose that half of you is like a cast member from the land
of dreams.”10
There were things about TV networks and theme parks that they
shared in common.

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

“You’ve worked hard for the past year, Kunieda-san and the person
under the costume.”

“There’s no one.”

They spent a quiet night in without any background noise, which

turned into a more bustling one as the new year began. How would it
be next year? And the year after that? Would he one day look back
at these days as a distant memory? At time when he became old
enough that only a little of his future remained? Right now, Ushio
wasn’t sure about any of those answers. But he wanted to live in
expectation for the next coming second that Kei had given him, down
to the very last moment. And he wanted to give Kei his own
moments that shared the same weight.

“Oh, it’s midnight. Happy New Year. Want to go on a first shrine visit
for the year?”

“Happy New Year. I’m not going. It’s obviously better luck to pray to
me than some god.”

When it came to Ushio, that insolent remark was absolutely true.

“Okay, then I hope that I won’t incur any divine wrath this year, so
please take care of me~”

“Why is the premise that you’ll do wicked deeds already a given!?”

“It’s a promise, God.”

“Give me a donation.”
“I think I have a 10 yen coin with a reeded edge.”

“I don’t want it!”

Ushio’s present, future, and his love—they all belonged to God.

“Hey, Senpai, Happy N.Y.~”

This poor dolt of a junior colleague couldn’t even give a proper

greeting. He didn’t even wait for his senior’s response and followed
up with a nonsensical outburst.

“It wasn’t me!”

Kei wanted to avoid a conversation and responded on LINE instead.

“What are you talking about, moron?”

“Ahh, my super sharp sixth sense told me that the thing about the
calendar was found out already.”

“It wasn’t found out.”

Anyway, he had been relaxing over the holiday and completely forgot
all about it.

“Waaah? So I got excited for nothing.”

“You mean worried, you idiot!”

God knew nothing about the calendar that was currently hidden in
the closet. However, even if he did know about it, he would still
probably confer his luck and blessings for a healthy and happy life
until December.
Translation Notes

Ueshima from the comedy trio Dacho Club has a gag he does
where he announces he doesn’t want something done, and when his
partners don’t do it, he gets mad at them and asks why they didn’t do
it.
200 kg – Approx. 440 lbs.
Kamaage style is when udon is served directly from the pot with
dipping sauce on the side.
Kamatama style is kamaage with a raw egg dropped on the hot
noodles. Agedama are fried tempura bits.
The Takarazuka Revue is an all-female theater troupe. They have
performances in the Hibiya area of Tokyo, but their main theater is in
Takarazuka, Hyogo.
There is a monster in Japanese folklore that is associated with the
washing and/or grinding of azuki beans near a body of water, and if
the person hears the sound and approaches, they will fall in the
water.
5,000 yen – Approx. $50 USD.
The slogan refers to Tsumura, a company that make herbal-based
products.
50,000 to 100,000 yen – Approx. $5,000 to $10,000 USD.
Land of dreams refers to Disneyland.

Story 7: Love Don’t Come Easy

Author’s Note: This is the sequel to “JUST LIKE HONEY.” I was

finally able to write about their second time together. It was fun and
refreshing to write about a Kei who hadn’t started thinking that the
two of them would live together. I felt all over again how I would love
to write about all the different times that these two will have together
from now on.

“Because you’re kind to everyone, Kunieda-kun.”

A voice said.

“And I can’t possibly be a good match for you.”

He wasn’t sure if he mumbled something to make her feel better, like

That’s not true or Don’t say that, or if he just said nothing.

“…Besides, it’s not like you even truly need me.”

He didn’t wake up very well. He had been in a faint, hazy

dreamworld up until a moment ago, and when he recognized the
alarm from his cell phone, he released a low, rumbling groan that
sounded like a hungover bear. He had only recently been released
from his nightmares where he screwed up on air, but now he had to
dream of something gloomy again. He turned off his alarm and
checked his email and Yahoo News while lying in bed. No major
news stories had happened that would jolt him awake from his
lingering drowsiness. He stared blearily at the headline about a
shocking celebrity wedding that was marked as new and thought
about the dream that he just had. Was the dream merely just a
dream? Or was it based on something that had happened in the
past? He wasn’t quite sure. He felt like he might have had such a
conversation with someone he had dated before… Or rather, that
was the pattern of most of his breakups. The last time was when he
was in college—so a ridiculously long time ago.

Well, whatever. He crawled out of bed, but instead of heading

towards the bathroom, he headed for the living room instead. He
turned on the laptop that he had left on his coffee table and replayed
the DVD inside, skipping through the beginning until he reached the
part with the blackboard. It was a few minute video that drew out in
chalk a sketch of a TV, followed by the passing of the four seasons.
Ushio had made this video as a sendoff for Announcer Kunieda. He
watched it again. This time in slow motion. And again. He paused on
any shot that made him curious, which made the few minute video
stretch on for something longer. Before he realized it, quite a bit of
time had passed. He thought, I have to get ready, I have to go to
work, and he replayed the video one more time for the nth time that
he insisted would be the last. It was starting to become a daily
routine. He wanted to loosen his facial muscles, but for some reason
he couldn’t, and his mouth kept twitching. No one was here to see
him, but maybe the reason he couldn’t express his happiness was
because he wasn’t used to showing his emotions as they were.

…Ah, it ended again. He hadn’t gotten tired of it, but it wasn’t

enough. Was there a director’s cut of this? Or even the raw footage
before it was edited together? Oh, what about the storyboards? Did
pencil sketches on the back of a daily pad calendar exist
somewhere? That Ushio had drawn by hand? With a concentration
and seriousness that gently rejected any and all interference like that
night before the premiere of The News? When Kei imagined this, he
wanted to turn into a pinwheel firework and spin all around the place.
It wasn’t just positive emotions either, but little by little, confusion,
embarrassment, and shock lurked underneath, and as a result, he
turned into a curry that had been over-complicated and now it just
tasted weird, but neither in a good or a bad way. His body wanted to
act out, but he used his rationalization to restrain himself as he
closed his laptop.

If he were to ask for the raw footage or the storyboards, how would
Ushio answer him back? He would probably smirk and tease him
with a What? You really like it that much? He would probably put on
an act and go I wonder what I should do~ Yeah, it was impossible,
he could never say it. But even if Kei was frustrated with the Ushio in
his head, he wasn’t seriously angry about it.
It was strange. He had lived all this time without knowing that he had
all these complex folds and shadows and hues inside of him. Love
and hate—none of it had mattered. That was all that Kei had thought
of the world, but then in the blink of an eye, the lines had increased,
and he felt like he had suddenly become three dimensional. Like the
flowers that had bloomed on the blackboard. Like the ocean that had
expanded and spread. The development of such things was still too
much for him to handle right now, but would he get used to it?

He finished getting ready for the morning, and just before he left for
work, his cell phone notified him of a new message. That it came
from his personal cell phone was enough to make his heart pound
out of his chest. He couldn’t leave it alone and immediately opened
it. He found a short message that said, Tonight is Hamburg steak. He
muttered without thinking, “Are you my mom again?” Or maybe his
wife? No, no, no, no, hell no… at least it should have been so. He
clapped at his face a few times, not hard enough to cause any
redness, then reined in his facial muscles before he replied to the
message, With a fried egg on top.

The mid-April night breeze had both a chill and a warmth as it

fluttered through his half-dried hair. He felt like he hadn’t seen any
cherry blossoms in person this year. But he had to have seen them,
since the trees were planted everywhere that there was space, but
Kei was probably too preoccupied to have noticed them. He had only
seen the cherry blossoms on the blackboard this spring, and that felt
pretty nice to him too. He checked to see that no one was around
and shifted his facemask to take a very deep breath. The midnight
air had a bit of sloppy sweetness to it.

“Welcome back. You got in pretty late.”

“I stopped by my place first.”

“I’ll go cook them up now. How many do you want?”

Kei stared at the ground meat patties lined up on the tray. They were
a neat oval shape with a slight depression pressed in the center.
They were on the larger size, but they would shrink when they were
cooked. But two seemed too much. But hmm…

“How about I cook three, and we share half of one?”

“Yeah, that.”

Kei turned his face to accept the suggestion that was floated next to
him, and his gaze encountered a smile.

“…What?” Kei grumbled.

“Nothing. It’s just funny how serious you got thinking about Hamburg
steak.”

“It’s not like there’s a problem with it. Quit staring at me.”

“There’s no problem with it at all. It makes me happy. But let me look

at your face some more.”

Ushio grabbed Kei’s chin as he tried to look away and pulled it back
into position. His tone of voice was nonchalant, but there was a firm
strength in his hand, and it scared Kei a little. However, it didn’t piss
him off, and the sudden touch didn’t make him disgusted either. He
couldn’t believe that it didn’t make him angry to have someone
touching him this casually.

“I haven’t seen your true face all that much yet.”

“I’m not a damn spectacle.”

He felt filled with shame, like Ushio could remove his clothes with
just his eyes, and Kei grabbed the facemask and glasses from the
pocket of his tracksuit and put them back on. He felt safe and calm
again with his armor equipped.

“What the, hey!”

“Shut up.”

Kei left the kitchen and sat down on a chair at the small dining table.
It was fine to wait here, right? Ushio didn’t try to detain him. He just
shrugged his shoulders lightly and went back to his cooking. But he
did complain, “What are you getting embarrassed for after all this
time?” It wasn’t a lot of time at all. Not even close. He wasn’t even
used to coming up to the second floor here. Kei looked around
restlessly, and as usual, Ushio called out to him with a timing like he
had eyes at the back of his head.

“If you want to watch TV like last time, feel free to turn it on,” he said.
“But in return, don’t look around the place too closely. I’ve been a bit
busy, and I’ve only done some quick cleaning.”

Kei thought that it looked fine. The place wasn’t sparkling clean, but
it was tidy, and that feeling was so very Ushio that it made Kei feel
reassured. He took Ushio up on his offer and picked up the TV
remote for now, flipping through the channels.

“Do you have Sky Perfect or WOWOW here?”1

“I don’t have that kind of luxury.”

The sound of sizzling meat overlapped Ushio’s voice.

“Do you have something you want to watch?”

“Not really.”

It would be a better distraction if he had more options, that was all. In

the end, he picked a studio talk show that was fairly bland and
innocuous. He listened to the sound, his head propped up on an
elbow, and thought how weird it was. Kei couldn’t relax like this
unless they were alone together. This was what he had wanted, but
he didn’t know what to do with himself if there was nothing playing in
the background. No, it was more like his nerves wouldn’t last. And
while his mind wandered around, unexpectedly his five senses
seemed to be in perfect condition—he reacted to the sounds and
smells coming from the kitchen, and his stomach stood on standby.
Now that he thought about it, maybe he should do something to
help? Kei gazed steadily at Ushio’s back as he bustled at the stove.
Ushio recognized that Kei didn’t care for people who read too much
into his actions, but maybe Ushio felt different from what he let on?
Maybe he was thinking, Don’t just sit there…?

No way, he’s not me. If he wanted something from me, he’d just say
it.

“Kei.”

“Whaaa!?”

Ushio had called out at him with perfect timing, and Kei shouted out
in surprise. His name. Ushio just used his first name, and it flustered
him. Because it was only the second time that Ushio used it.

“Is it really that surprising? The food’s almost done, so take out the
beer from the fridge for me. If you want a cold glass for it, I have
some in the freezer.”

“Oh, okay, got it.”

While Kei completed the request, he took the opportunity to casually

(by his own estimation) take a look at the contents of the refrigerator.
There were a number of beers from several different brands, so
maybe he had no particular preference. And then there were eggs,
milk, ham, natto… just the basic normal staples. Through the
transparent crisper drawer, there was the red of tomatoes and the
green of cucumbers. In the freezer, there were a few frozen fried rice
entrees from the supermarket and a bunch of side dishes wrapped in
plastic, probably prepared ahead of time. Kei had satisfied his
curiosity and pulled out the items he needed before closing the door.

“Did I pass?”

“Huh?”

“Well, I do try to cook proper meals for myself,” Ushio said. He

transferred the Hamburg steaks onto plates and poured red wine into
the frying pan to deglaze it.

“Whatever, I wasn’t acting like a mother-in-law, okay?”

“It’s just pure curiosity, I get it. It’s a peek into how someone lives.”

Ushio cooked off some of the wine and added Worcestershire sauce,
ketchup, and a small dash of soy sauce. Apparently that was the
sauce that Ushio chose to pair with the dish. The Kunieda family
used ketchup and a bit of honey.

“I still don’t know anything about you, so I’m curious too… Is this
sauce okay with you? I can also make ponzu mixed with grated
daikon if you want.”

“Garlic butter.”

“I don’t have any garlic, but I’ll make it for you next time. Hmm, but
you should call me over to your place next. Now that I think about it, I
don’t even know where you live exactly.”

It didn’t particularly bother Kei if Ushio were to come over at this

moment. He didn’t care if Ushio saw his manga, snacks, or junk
food. However, it had never once crossed his mind to invite someone
over to his apartment. He pictured Ushio sitting on his sofa, Ushio
sleeping in his bed, Ushio peeking into his refrigerator—Kei only had
to say “Okay” and he could see those scenes with his own eyes. It
could even be part of his daily life. But it seemed like a crazy fantasy
to him because he had never let anyone get this close to him before.
He had thought that there was nothing strange about this particular
way of life of his. Regardless of the pros and cons of the current
situation, it would be difficult for anyone to imagine the serious
possibilities of someone else other than themselves—let alone the
fairy tale ending for children where that partner fully accepted their
true selves and allowed them to be who they were. Anyway, the two
of them were still at the beginning stages of all of this.

Kei didn’t give any time frame and just answered, “One of these
days.”

“Okay, and now it’s ready.”

Ushio’s Hamburg steak looked like it came off of a family restaurant

menu. It would be nearly indistinguishable if it had come on a gaudy
cow-shaped sizzle platter. The visuals were perfect with some shiny
glazed carrots, sauteed green beans, and lightly grilled potatoes with
skin on. Plus a beautiful fried egg with a shiny yolk that topped off
Kei’s plate.

“Are you a skip-the-white-rice type of person when you drink?”

“I’m a gotta-have-white-rice person no matter what.”

“Got it.”

They sat at the dining table for a late-night meal. Maybe because his
blood had concentrated in his stomach while he ate, but Kei didn’t
feel flustered even though they were face to face. Ushio asked him,
“How was work?” and Kei spoke with great fervor (basically hurling
insults) about the college professor who was their guest today, how
he was a pompous ass and incredibly ignorant about anything
outside of his expertise. Ushio made jokes from time to time and
listened happily.
Ahh, this was the mood. It was strangely nostalgic, and Kei felt
relieved. The easy banter from when they were Owari and Tsuzuki
was revived between them. The characters were both the same, so
maybe it was only natural. Their relationship had been built on a lie,
and it was more precarious than the clay that the figures were made
from. Kei had struggled with the guilt and the fear that he felt, but
looking back, it had been an important time to him. Because once a
magic trick had been revealed, it would never be the same again.

“Do you want any more?” Ushio asked when they finished eating.

“I’ve had enough.”

“Okay, so we’re done here. I’ve put out a new toothbrush next to the
sink. It’s the one with a white handle. Same as the cup.”

Kei brushed his teeth like Ushio suggested, and then he watched
Ushio’s back as he washed the dishes.

“Okay, I’m going to shower now.”

“…Sure.”

There was a slight awkward silence before Kei answered. He

wondered what Ushio would say about it, but Ushio just headed for
the bathroom. Eventually he heard the sound of water running,
different from the sound just now. Oh, it was like everything was
falling into place. After all, there was probably only one thing that
they could do after this. But Kei would be happy to play Sevens or
Momotetsu 20-year mode before they got to it.2

Kei had no intent to refuse him. He really, really didn’t. He repeated

these excuses to both Ushio who wasn’t here and to himself. If he
didn’t like it, he could just go straight home if he wanted, and there
was no better proof than staying put in his seat right here.
What am I getting cold feet for? We already did this once before.

But then his brain remembered that one particular time and flailed in
disbelief, Huh, we’re doing that again? Kei didn’t dislike it. He had
been scared and embarrassed, but Ushio had been gentle with him.
Kei had been happy about it, probably. But it still scared him. He had
felt such a resistance to exposing his true face that actually he felt
pretty impressed with himself that he was able to do as much as he
did that night. His head had been preoccupied with the excitement
and satisfaction left over from the magic of the broadcast, and so he
had no brain capacity to give any thought about sex too deeply.

Ugh, there’s no use thinking about it at this point. I’m already here.
Buck yourself up.

Kei crossed his arms and closed his eyes, and on the spot, a
memory with lots of bare skin floated into his mind. He became
frantic and shook his head to chase it away. It was important for Kei
to have a routine at times like these, and he wished that he had
brought his accent dictionary with him.

The back of his eyelids suddenly dimmed, and when Kei opened his
eyes, the room was now dark. It wasn’t completely dark because the
light at the stairs was still on.

“What are you doing!?”

Kei complained at Ushio’s silhouette which was slightly larger than

usual with the towel over his head. Everything was bad for his heart.

“Uh, I called out to you a couple times, but you seemed to be

absorbed with the TV, so I thought that I should go with the mood.”

“The mood…”

Kei had completely driven the TV from his thoughts, and he finally
noticed that the show had changed.
“And it turned out to be a famous property where a death had
occurred…”

What the hell was this? The screen showed a simple shot of candles
with flickering flames in an over-decorated set.

“I don’t need that kind of mood!” Kei rushed to turn off the TV.

“Huh? Do you hate those kinds of things? Are you scared of them?”

“It doesn’t matter because they don’t exist.”

He wasn’t pretending to be brave; he really didn’t believe in them (he

thought that it was a ridiculous genre for even presenting the option
that they existed in the first place). Ushio answered, “Well, that’s
boring,” and closed the subject. And then it was silent. Crap, he had
shut off the background noise himself, and now it was incredibly
quiet. But it was far too unnatural to turn the TV on again. While Kei
was unable to touch the remote, Ushio came up next to him. He
could smell and feel the hint of warmth and moisture from the
shower.

“Then should I create a different mood for us?”

But the tone of his voice was still bright.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Like drinking some more.”

“I’ve already brushed my teeth.”

“That’s true. And I wouldn’t want you falling asleep on me again.”

“Right back at you.”

Ushio brought the tip of his nose right up to Kei’s ear, and Kei
couldn’t hide the sudden stiffening of his body.

“So you showered before you came here. You smell nice… Oh, I
see, when you’re Kunieda-san, you have product in your hair, and
you smell different with that scent mixed in.”

There was a faint scent of mint toothpaste from Ushio’s breath as he

talked. Ushio called out “Kei” again, and Kei felt like he was getting
sweaty behind his ears.

Crap, what do I do? Now I’m going to smell like sweat.

But that uneasiness disappeared when Ushio took his hand to pull
him to his feet and said, “Let’s go over there.” Kei wanted to say
something, but he didn’t have the slightest idea what. It was like a
clip clamped his throat closed, and his voice wouldn’t come out. But
was this okay? If he gave up and surrendered his control like their
first time together, would it proceed down the same course where
Ushio took the reins regardless of how nervous he was? Yeah, the
script should say here, Act natural and go with the flow.

“Where are your glasses?” Ushio asked as he laid Kei down on the
bed.

“In my pocket.”

“Of your pants? Let’s take them out so that they don’t get broken.”

Kei couldn’t even think beyond the next second, and yet Ushio was
thoughtful enough to think of such a thing. Kei told himself silently,
Right, I should just stop thinking about things. His head had been too
full to worry about anything last time, so this time he should clear his
mind out instead. Ushio would take the utmost care in anything he
did (and that pissed Kei off a little), and look, here he was, placing
his hand on Kei’s cheek, letting him know in advance that he was
going to kiss him. Kei’s job here was simple. He just had to close his
eyes at the perfect time—not too close and not too far away. Not yet,
he was still too far, hmm, now, that felt about right. Just when Kei
closed his eyes with perfect poise, there was the sound of something
vibrating on the table. That wasn’t the sound of poltergeists, right?

“…Oi—” Kei said.

Ushio heaved a sigh. “Why did it have to be at a time like this

again?”

He sat back up and stared down at Kei without moving. The room
was dark, and Kei couldn’t really see his expression.

Ushio mumbled a question, but it was too soft for Kei to hear it. Kei
asked him, “What?” but Ushio shook his head instead.

“It’s nothing. Sorry, can you wait a sec?”

Ushio answered the phone that had been vibrating on the table and
said things like “Huh?” and “Wait, it can’t be.” The tone was very
different from the previous conversation that had interrupted them
before. It sounded like there was some serious trouble.

“Let me turn on my computer and check it again. Do you mind if I

hang up? I’ll call you back in about 5 minutes. …Yes, alright, I’ll talk
to you soon.”

Ushio ended the call, took a short breath, and apologized in a more
serious tone.

“Sorry, the client says that they can’t open the files I sent them, so I
need to go check on some things.”

“Oh, okay.”

That was truly all that Kei could say. Ushio returned to the bed, gave
a quick ruffle to Kei’s hair, and the room fell silent again. He seemed
to want to say something or to ask something.

“It might take a while, so you should sleep.”

Kei had to say something. Not a meaningless fixed phrase, but

words that would lift Ushio’s mood. If Kei was at work, he could come
up with something immediately, but with his mouth half open, Kei
could only nod his head in response. Ushio turned around and
headed for the stairs.

Like he could sleep just because Ushio told him to. His mind and
body had suffered a disappointment, and they still reeled from the
events before the interruption, as if subject to the law of inertia, and
he couldn’t settle down.

Wait, don’t tell me that we’ll be interrupted like this every time, and
we’ll go days, weeks, months, and years unable to satisfy each
other…? And we’ll live out the rest of our natural years staying 98%
chaste, unhappily ever after?

No way, that was impossible. Kei slumped over on his side, and he
could hear a faint voice talking. Maybe because it was late at night or
maybe because the situation was that serious, but Ushio’s voice
sounded much lower than usual, and Kei couldn’t discern anything
that he said. He worried, Is he okay, but it wasn’t like Kei could do
anything to help him. If it was something like painting a figure, he
could help out, but it didn’t seem to be the case.

They had overcome a number of hurdles to arrive at a happy and

exciting relationship, but Kei felt like things weren’t going as well as
he had expected. Alone in the bed, the frustration and hesitation that
he couldn’t fling away coiled around him, and Kei didn’t know what to
do as he wondered how to deal with himself and his feelings.
He tossed and turned in the bed, bothered by his thoughts, and
eventually he fell asleep. By the time he came to, the room was filled
with light. He didn’t know the exact time, but there was plenty of
morning sunlight spilling through the gap of the curtains. Kei cursed
at himself for being heartless, but he had been exhausted and
nervous about last night—or so went the excuses that he made to
himself. He couldn’t shake the years and years of habits ingrained
into him from living alone. The first floor was quiet, but he wondered
if Ushio was still troubleshooting for his client.

Kei wondered to himself, What do I do, and stuck his hands

underneath the pillow without thinking and grazed something with his
fingers there. When he pulled it out, he saw that it was an old
photograph. The photo was black and white, and quite an antique
one. The subject was a plain-looking man wearing pants and a shirt
that would be called unfashionable according to today’s modern
sensibilities. What was this? His grandpa or something? But they
didn’t look alike at all. And he didn’t understand why Ushio would
keep something like this under his pillow. Was it supposed to be like
a good luck charm? Something that would improve his dreams…?
Maybe because it was black and white and slightly out of focus, but
even so, a worn-out photograph of some unknown person was
honestly slightly creepy. Kei took the photo with him downstairs.

“Oi.”

“Oh, good morning.” Ushio raised his head from his computer.

“…How’s your work going?”

“I think it should get resolved soon. I guess you could say it was an
unlucky mishap… Are you hungry? Do you want breakfast?”

“More importantly, here, I found this under your pillow.”

Kei held out the photo, and Ushio let out an “Oh” as he got to his feet
to take it.
“Great, I’ve been looking for this. I wonder how it got there? Well,
whatever, thanks.”

“Who’s the person in the picture?”

“A friend’s great-grandfather. He’ll be 100 years old this year. Isn’t

that incredible?”

“Uh, sure.”

It was incredible, but why would Ushio have his picture?

“I thought that I’d make a little video to celebrate the milestone, so I

borrowed a photo album for references. It’s the same day as
Respect for the Aged Day, so I still have time to finish it.”3

Ushio was happily telling Kei how the great-grandfather was still
active and how he had taught Ushio how to fish and clean them
when he went over for a visit, but for some reason Ushio’s voice
suddenly sounded far away. It was like there was a film over his
ears. Huh? Was he still dreaming or something? Even his feet felt
unsteady like he would fall over. However, the declaration of “I’m
going home” was as clear as day.

“Huh?”

“I have work.”

“Oh, right, it’s a weekday. I’m never quite sure what day it is. But I’m
really sorry about last night.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Should I walk you home?”

“Why? I don’t need you to.”

Kei equipped himself back up with his facemask and glasses and left
Ushio’s house. The cool air from last night had completely vanished.
He tried asking himself if he was angry. No, not really. He was able
to answer the question without hesitation. If work trouble suddenly
popped up, then there was nothing that he could do about it.
Although it was unexpected, Kei wanted to be tolerant of Ushio’s
work because it was his living. That was why it wasn’t anger, but he
did wonder what it was. It was a bit of a hollow feeling, like he was
dissatisfied with something. Kei returned home feeling restless and
uncomfortable, and he started up his morning ritual by opening his
laptop and replaying the DVD.

Huh? Kei was surprised at himself. He didn’t feel thrilled and excited
like he did up until yesterday. Well, it wasn’t like he felt nothing, he
still felt happy and embarrassed, but it didn’t feel as fresh anymore.
Like it was a half-step out of key, and it no longer felt right to him. But
nothing had changed about the video.

Oh, I get it now.

Kei realized what that uncomfortable feeling was. His excitement had
crashed because he had heard that Ushio would make something for
the great-grandfather of a friend, a total stranger essentially.

“…I see.”

Kei had reached an understanding while talking to himself, but it

didn’t do anything to improve how he felt. It didn’t necessarily have to
be for Kei, but Ushio would make videos unrelated to work for
anyone. Happily and without a second thought.

Hnnn, I see. Heh.

Ushio hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t lied or betrayed him—

Kei knew that. But the time and effort that Ushio had set aside for
someone else, even if it wasn’t exactly the same, it hadn’t been
particularly precious to Ushio. Kei’s heart grew harder and harder.

Ugh, stop, I’m being too immature about this.

But regardless of the logic that he tried to use on himself, he couldn’t

write off his disappointment.

I mean, think about it. Say that a prince had cut through all these
thorns and suffered all these injuries to rescue you, and then he
declares all smooth and dashing, “Okay, I gotta go, I have a request
to clear out a hornet’s nest next!” I mean, wouldn’t you go “What?
You’re off to the next job already?”

It made him wonder if he was treated with the same kindness that he
used for everybody else.

Kei received a message from Ushio that said, Let me make it up to

you again, but Kei went to get ready without replying to it and left for
work much earlier than normal. Because if he kept thinking about it
like this, he felt like he might get stuck, unable to move.

Kei received messages from Ushio every day. The contents were
short—things like Can you come over today? and Please respond to
me. He didn’t try to lure him over with food, which probably meant
that Ushio had guessed that Kei was unhappy about something. Kei
fully acknowledged that ignoring Ushio was the worst thing that he
could do in this situation. Ushio’s gentle kindness had been what
saved Kei, had attracted Kei to him, and that was what had allowed
Ushio to laugh and accept Kei’s personality, to tell him that he didn’t
need to change. It was only natural that Ushio would show that
kindness to other people too. If Ushio had been a man like Kei, who
was only friendly to people on the surface but antisocial inside, and
only treated Kei like he was special while rude to everyone else, Kei
wouldn’t have fallen in love with him.

The things that he loved about Ushio were the same things that were
unbearable to him. This was the first time that Kei ever experienced
such a contradiction.

“Because you’re kind to everyone, Kunieda-kun.”

Oh, so that was what she meant. Now he understood it. He felt a
transcendental sympathy for the girl now. Should he join a group
huddle and shout, We got this! I get you! Beat ’em, beat ’em, go! But
Kei never wanted Ushio to find out about this petty jealousy of his,
and if in the unlikely event Ushio were to say that he wouldn’t do the
video anymore, it would leave Kei with a horrible aftertaste in his
mouth. So what were they supposed to do? The question applied
both to Kei and to Ushio.

Kei went about the week without replying to Ushio’s messages, and
on Friday, a group leader at the Announcer Department came to Kei
with a work request.

“I’d like to ask you to call an ice show performance.”

“You’re asking me, sir?”

“That’s right. Tatsuki was originally scheduled to do it, but the Sports
Department made an error and double booked him. The show is in
July, and the commentary will be aired on TV.”

Kei thought, Uh, I know nothing about figure skating, but it wasn’t a
job that he could refuse just because he didn’t know anything about
it. If he knew nothing about it, then he just had to learn it.

“Well, there’s still plenty of time. I’m sure that you can pull it off,
Kunieda.”
Sure, he could pull it off in the end, but it pissed him off when other
people said that to him like it was nothing. He ranted in his head, I’ll
slash your damn face with the blade of an ice skate, while
Announcer Kunieda smiled and accepted the job with an “I’ll do my
best.”

After the broadcast was over, Shitara handed Kei a DVD.

“The Announcer Department asked me to give this to you.”

“Oh, it’s probably reference materials about figure skating. Thank

you very much.”

“So you’re calling a performance? Sounds tough~”

“It’s for a show, so I don’t think that it will be as hard as it would be

for a competition. But yes, it’s my first time doing something like this,
and I’m not quite sure what to say…”

“Hmm, shouldn’t you be thinking about speaking as little as

possible?”

“Huh?”

“Because the viewers who take the time to watch ice shows on TV,
they have to be pretty big fans of it, right? I think they probably know
the jumps and spins without any additional commentary. They
probably want to listen to the music too.”

He had a point. Kei pressed a finger to his chin to think about it, and
Shitara continued, “Isn’t it the same for baseball? No one ever
interrupts the moment when the bat makes contact with the ball. And
if you have a game where the home team is down by 10 runs, using
bullish words like ‘counterattack’ and ‘turnaround’ just makes the
viewers more disappointed, and when that happens, you have no
choice but to give a straight commentary of the game.”
“I see, but—”

What should he do if his job was to speak?

“Yeah, it’s actually more difficult to not speak than to speak. Is it a

purposeful silence? Or is the silence there because they don’t know
what to say, so they don’t say anything at all?”

Kei agreed with Shitara, but it meant that his homework was now
harder than he expected, and it increased his depression. For now,
in order to master the skill of purposeful silence, he had no choice
but to study up on it. After taking a bath, Kei warmed up some ready-
to-eat curry and poured it over some microwaved rice. He decided to
watch the figure skating DVD while eating his late dinner/midnight
snack. When he went to change the DVD that was left in his laptop,
his finger hesitated, but he clenched his hand into a fist and scolded
himself by digging his nails into his skin.

Don’t think about other things. I’ve got work to do, work.

First off, he wanted to be able to immediately identify the different

jumps. Kei paid careful attention to the angles of the legs and the
preparation movements as he watched the lutz, toe loop, loop, etc,
on repeat to drill them into his eyes and brain. He ate his curry
without looking down at the plate, and his spoon bumped down
against it. That’s annoying, he muttered to himself, and that was
when he received a message on his personal cell phone that was
placed next to the laptop. The message was short. It could be read
in a few seconds from the notification screen.

“If you keep ignoring me, I’ll ambush you in front of the network.”

Kei dove for his cell phone and called Ushio’s number.

“Oi, don’t be rash!” Kei yelled when the call was picked up on a
single ring.
“I finally get a reaction from you,” Ushio said. “How have you been?”

“…Okay.”

The voice could be considered cheerful, but Kei could sense that a
lot more was hidden behind the question. Shit, he called him without
thinking, but now what should he do? If Kei hung up on him, he
might actually try to ambush him.

“Are you angry about something?”

“Not really.”

“Then why are you ignoring me?”

“…Nothing really.”

“Listen here.” Ushio’s frustration was apparent. “When you get angry
or upset about something and refuse to talk to me like this, I think
that it’s a problem. We can’t even communicate when you do that.
You can use your words, can’t you? You’re an announcer after all.
I’ve told you before that I can’t understand you unless you talk to me,
remember?”

Kei thought, You won’t understand even if I tell you. How can
someone like you understand how I feel? This tug of war between
wanting and not wanting you to understand. It has happened before,
and it’ll happen again in the future. God, this dating thing is a pain in
the ass.

“Oi, say something.”

Ushio prodded him when he hadn’t sorted out his head yet, and Kei
flared up at him and yelled, “Shut up!”

I’m trying to think here. My circuits are built differently from yours,
you slap-happy idiot.
His circuits were more complicated—it was easier for his wires to
burn out, get crossed, or develop local shorts, and so he stabbed his
spoon into the now emptied plate and made a somewhat strange
insistence: “Y-You’re just a damn curry plate!”

“Huh…?”

Kei thought to himself, What are you even saying, and he expected
to hear the words said to him too. But after a few seconds of silence,
Ushio responded with an acknowledgement.

“Oh,” he said, “you mean like shallow and wide?”

“How did you guess that!?”

It was like he had found the deepest spot in the area, but when he
looked around, he saw that there wasn’t much a difference between
him and his surroundings, and it made him feel like what he found
wasn’t all that special—it was true that Kei did feel something like
that.

“I don’t know why I’m being yelled at for guessing correctly, but yeah,
maybe you’re right. If that’s what bothers you, then I’m sorry.”

Ushio was so damn understanding that something about it struck

home for Kei.

“You bastard, I bet up until now you’ve been dumped with a line like
‘I feel insecure because you’re too kind to everyone,’ haven’t you!?”

“Huh, isn’t that what Kuneida-san has heard?”

The returning blow hit the bull’s eye of something he didn’t want to
discuss, and Kei was at a loss for words.

“Maybe we’re actually birds of a feather?”

“Obviously, we’re not.”

But nevertheless, he firmly refuted it.

“We’re absolutely nothing alike.”

I mean, I’m nothing but an empty lie, but you are actually real. It’s
because I realize how selfish it is to be frustrated with it that I’m
struggling like this so much.

“Hmm, well, let’s return to the original topic. But even if you tell me
that you feel insecure, I’m too in love with you to let you go,” Ushio
said gently. “You’re the first person to make me feel this way.”

The direct confession went straight for his heart, and at the same
time, his brain short circuited all over. But ridiculously enough, Kei
stared at the DVD that was still playing in front of him and thought
things like Oh, that’s a flip.

“Do you already hate me now?”

Kei couldn’t tell if it was a tactic that Ushio was using or if it was his
true insecurity talking. He had no idea, and so he couldn’t come up
with a good response. And because he couldn’t come up with
anything, he ended the call. Kei furiously brushed his teeth and left
his apartment dressed in his usual clothing. He walked steadily—no,
he ran. He had his facemask on, and he quickly ran out of breath,
and Kei struggled as he pushed forward. They lived so close in the
neighborhood, and yet it seemed so far. The non-woven fabric
swelled with his breaths, and his heart swelled in his chest.

His feelings were treacly sweet, but painful. He hated the parts about
Ushio that he loved, but he loved him so much that he couldn’t stay
hating him. It made him uneasy to be with him, but it made him
lonely to be without him. So what should he do from now on? With
the same rhythm as each breath that he took, he welled up to the
beat of yes and no, yes and no, yes and no.

Kei opened the door with his spare key, and as he took off his shoes
at the entrance, Ushio came down the stairs, probably having heard
the noise that he made. Kei gave up on searching for the words to
say.

Instead of how he should say something here, he thought about how

he should be silent here.

Kei marched over to Ushio. He grabbed the collar of his shirt, lifted
his chin triumphantly, and kissed him. And in an instant, Kei realized
his mistake. His aim had been slightly off to the side, and he was still
wearing his facemask. However, there was no time for him to regret
or reconsider it, because in the next second, Ushio hugged him
fiercely.

“Huh— Nnnhh…”

This time their lips were lined up properly. It was only for the next
second that Kei remembered the very first kiss they had shared, and
the kiss grew deeper with this flimsy partition between them to
become a new memory. Every time Ushio changed the angle of his
face to kiss him, his glasses would become more and more crooked,
and Kei couldn’t even spare a thought to fix them. His facemask had
slipped down to the point where it could fall off his nose but didn’t.
Ushio’s breath mingled with his own trapped under the mask. It was
hot and hard to breathe, but he didn’t want to stop. The fabric
became damper. The tip of Ushio’s tongue licked at his upper and
lower lips and tried to enter his mouth. Naturally, it was physically
impossible like this, but Ushio still persisted to press in against the
cloth. The gesture was like a dim-witted animal; it made his heart
pound, and he clung to Ushio with both hands. Kei presented his
own tongue to press it up against Ushio’s behind the mask. The
fibers loosened up a little, the texture rough and moist between the
two soft bodies, turning pliant and weak from their jostling back and
forth. But it wouldn’t melt and disappear, and it was frustrating as
they teased each other’s lips with the cloth between them.

Yes, it was frustrating, but Kei was aware that it also fueled his
arousal, and he wondered how many contradictions he and Ushio
would have to tackle between them in the future.

“Nnnnh—”

While Kei was out of breath, even his heartbeat careened away from
him, and maybe he was running out of oxygen with both his nose
and his mouth covered because his head went into a daze. He had a
bad premonition and slapped at Ushio’s arm a few times, and finally
Ushio released his lips. Kei could see Ushio’s eyes through his
crooked glasses, and he could only stand there bewitched like the
other times in the past, marveling at how beautiful they were. A light
of clear lust shone brightly in them, lacking gentleness and emotion,
and that was why Kei felt like he could sense Ushio’s blood and flesh
so close to him.

“I can take this to be your answer, right?”

The look in Ushio’s eyes seemed to threaten that he might rip out his
throat with his teeth if Kei were to answer no. Kei silently removed
his facemask, and this time he pressed his bare lips to Ushio’s
cheek. From there, their kiss did not restart again. Ushio took Kei’s
hand and hauled him up to the second floor. With the assistance of
centrifugal force, he flung Kei onto bed, whereupon he tore off the
facemask and glasses and tossed them onto the floor.

“Oi, what if you break them?”

“I’ll buy you as many of them as you want. I’ll even throw in an
upgrade with a nose and a mustache.”

It was their first proper exchange since Kei had arrived here tonight.
Those are damn party goods, heh.

Ushio climbed over Kei and straddled him with his knees, and there
was a profoundly heavy creak from the bed.

“Fuck,” Ushio muttered angrily, stripping off Kei’s coat and throwing
that to the floor too. “You’ve left me hanging all these times in a row.”

“It was all your own fault, you know!”

“Shut up. I had no clue where you even lived. You seriously had me
panicking.”

“And instead, you threaten to out me at work.”

“Yeah, I was close to staging a one-man demonstration with a

megaphone and a sign that said ‘Take responsibility for what you’ve
done!’”

“Don’t you dare!”

It was terrifying even as a joke. Kei pulled down the zipper of his
tracksuit, and when he squirmed out of it, he followed Ushio’s lead
and dropped it to the floor. Ushio stared at Kei in amazement,
wanting to say something, but Kei made sure to warn him first.

“Cell phone!”

“Hmm?”

“…Make sure you turn it off this time.”

“Yeah.”

Ahh, Kei felt like it had been a while since he last saw Ushio smile.
There was a pure happiness on his face—he looked delighted like a
child, adorable like a child, but the love there was very different from
a child’s. Kei just hoped that he was the first to ever see that
expression from Ushio.

“Kei.”

Ushio brought his hands towards Kei with his fingers stretched out.
Kei didn’t understand what Ushio wanted as he mimicked the
movements, and Ushio clasped their hands together and pulled them
over to press kisses to Kei’s knuckles.

“Are you nervous?”

There was a familiar ring to that question. He then remembered that

phone call that had interrupted them last time and the question Ushio
had mumbled that Kei couldn’t make out.

“Are you relieved?”

In other words, was Kei actually relieved that they were interrupted?
Ushio had his own worries and insecurities that made him scared; it
was only natural. It was a first for him too. Now that he thought about
it, maybe Ushio had been honest with his feelings when he said that
he had only done some quick cleaning and didn’t want Kei to look
around the house. Maybe Kei wasn’t the only one to feel all these
opposing feelings, this contradiction of yes and no.

Kei answered back, “Not at all.”

Ushio looked relieved as he said, “Liar.”

His fingers touched Kei’s bare skin with a slow and careful
deliberation like the needle of a record player. A faint ripple of
excitement ran to his brain. Depending on the movements of the
fingertips and the location of the teasing, the waves rocked through
him, disordered and turbulent. Like how he rubbed at Kei’s nipples.

“Ahhh…”
Kei could feel them hardening with the slight back-and-forth motions.
The faint spreading of lust condensed at the same time, causing the
raised tips to throb with a sharp intensity.

“Aaah, ah.”

Something soft pressed against one of the round nubs, swollen and
red, and Kei arched his throat and chest up without meaning to do
so. Ushio’s tongue laved tenderly at the pebbled hardness, as if
soothing the gentle curve pushed up towards him, but no matter how
Ushio touched him, his lust expanded and accumulated in his spine.

“I have proper lube this time, so you can relax.”

“Relax…?”

Kei had never used such a thing before, and he had no idea how he
was supposed to relax. Ushio took out a clear bottle from the
headboard and dribbled it out on his hand and onto Kei’s belly.

“Nnn…”

He first noticed how cold it was, and then he felt a thickness that
seemed almost solid. The goopiness felt disgusting to Kei, and he
almost withered in an instant, but when Ushio rubbed it against his
cock, his body accepted the pleasure that felt on the verge of chills
but conceived in heat.

“Ah— Ahh.”

The up and down friction seemed to cover his length in a thin flimsy
version of a tongue, and the feelings of unfamiliarity and rejection
became a spice that heated him up. Kei had always been able to
control himself so perfectly. That he could be conquered this easily—
it was something that he had wished that he would never experience
in his entire lifetime if possible.
Because once he experienced it, he could never go back.

“Ahh, noo.”

The lubricant began to smear more, maybe due to his own warmth
or maybe due to the warmth of Ushio’s hand, and it felt like it
became smoother. But it still didn’t erase away the unnatural
sensation, and Ushio added more on top of it, pushing his finger into
Kei’s hole.

“Nnnh…!”

“Does it hurt?”

If Kei were to kick and scream that it hurt, it didn’t seem likely that
Ushio would stop given the course of their first time together.
Besides, it wasn’t like Kei wanted Ushio to stop either. He shook his
head honestly, to communicate that he was okay, and Ushio pressed
in even deeper.

“Aaahh…”

It was a strange sensation. Despite a stiffness, he felt like he was

softening everywhere. There was nothing more to expose or to allow
of himself. And he felt both a fear and a relief about it. But then more
than pain, more than distress, the finger clad in a too smooth film
found a sensation that was beyond controllable for him. His pleasure
was so intense that he could almost believe without logic that sex
could make people useless. It was like his body was a ripened fruit
that had fallen to the ground, left to slowly deteriorate.

“Ahh, nooo, don’t!”

“Why? Doesn’t it feel good?”

When the words of objection rushed out from his mouth, Ushio
played with Kei’s cock, half-surged with blood, and the stimuli from
both inside and out wrangled a high-pitched moan from the back of
his throat.

No way, I could release an octave that high?

It was a potential that did not make Kei happy. He couldn’t vocalize it
on demand, and his arousal was clear in his voice—there was no
way that he could let anyone hear it… Except Ushio.

“Noo! Ah, aaah…”

“Your reactions are better than last time. I wonder if it’s because of
the lube,” Ushio commented, moving both of his hands between the
legs he had splayed open. It was nothing but meaningless talk if that
was all that he said, but then he continued as an aside, “…Those
ingredients sure are effective,” and Kei had to shout “Oi” and prop
himself up on his elbows.

“What the hell is in it!?”

“I’m just joking around. It’s nothing more than regular lube. The
ingredients are glycerin and a few other things.”

“It’s the few other things that are the problem here!”

“Huh? Are you asking if there are illegal substances mixed in the
lube that’s making you melt into a puddle? Now where would I even
buy something like that?”

“I haven’t melted into a puddle yet!”

“Yet.”

“Ugh, whatever, just shut up! And get it over with already!”
“But it would be a waste to do that.” Ushio leaned over to kiss Kei on
the cheek. “In more ways than one, you react so nicely that I just
can’t get enough of you~”

Kei pressed his lips together, embarrassed at the happiness that he

could hear in the voice, but with the finger that slowly pumped in and
out of him, he just couldn’t keep them closed.

“Nnh… Nghhh.”

“Your voice is too sexy here.”

“S-Shut up, ugh.”

“I won’t be able to hold myself back if we do this quietly. I need to

say something to distract myself.”

Was he telling the truth? With the full length of Ushio’s middle finger
examining his insides while the other hand stroked the exposed tip of
his cock engorged with blood, his elbows buckled and Kei fell back
onto a pillow, and he could only see the ceiling again. As a trade-off,
in the back of his mind, Kei could picture with elaborate detail the
movements of the finger inside him—in either case, there was no
way for him to settle down.

“Aaah…!”

The invasion increased by another finger, and another finger, and the
pressure made his knees tremble, to the point that he felt like it
directly vibrated his insides. Ushio pressed hard at the little spot not
too deep inside, up towards the belly, as if taming any of his
remaining resistance, and arousal burst inside him like a water
fountain.

“Noo! Ahh, ahh, s-stop, aahhh.”

The inside of his body didn’t get wet on its own, but Kei felt like he
was wetting himself inside. It coated onto Ushio’s fingers, hotter and
more viscous than lube, and made his hole obscenely slick. It was
nothing more than an illusion, but his cock started to drool on itself,
and that was the reality.

“Aaaah…! I can’t, nooo.”

His hips lifted naturally and quivered. It was like his hole responded
to the movements, and it kept squeezing down Ushio’s fingers and
loosening back up over and over again. It was so embarrassing; he
thought that he had probably turned red to the back of his ears, but
he couldn’t stop.

“Kei, does it feel good?”

“Noo…”

“Why not? It makes me happy if you’re feeling good. We’re having

sex after all. It’s only natural.”

Ushio pulled out his fingers and gently traced the gasping exterior.

“Can I put it in here?”

“Ah.”

“Let me put it in, Kei.”

“Nnnh…”

Kei kept his eyes closed and nodded his head. The voice that said
“Thank you” was solemn and serious, and it made him even more
embarrassed than if Ushio had teased him. Ushio grasped the back
of Kei’s knees to hold his legs up, and in this very flagrant sex
position, Ushio pressed his cock to Kei’s hole to enter him.
“Nhh, ahhh—”

There was nothing that could be done about the stinging that he felt
from something pushing into a very narrow space, but Kei could
clearly feel Ushio’s arousal, and that made him happy. Ushio’s cock
rubbed up everywhere against his hole that had been carefully
prepped by fingers, and its pulse shook Kei from within. Each
palpitation dominated all of Kei’s insides, and Kei felt like he would
even lose the sound of his own heartbeat.

“Nn. I’ll go slowly, okay?”

Ushio established a short rhythm not too deep inside, and the parts
where they touched heated in an instant.

“Ahh… Ah, nnnhh…!”

As Ushio rocked into him, Kei grabbed the pillow without thinking,
and he remembered the item that he had found under it before.
Ushio seemed to be sensitive to his feelings and asked, “Does it
bother you?”

“A-About what?”

“That I’m making a video for a friend’s great-grandfather too… It’s

kinda hard to explain. It’s not for work, but part of it makes me feel
like it’s a challenge for work. The motivation is kind of like, can I
make something that a cennitarian can appreciate? When I make
things on my personal time, the subject has to fascinate me
somehow, so everything has to run past that filter first. But the video
that I made for you is completely different for me.”

“Oi.”

“Hm?”
Kei interrupted Ushio and reached out to catch Ushio’s face between
his hands. He figured that he would enlighten him.

“At times like these, it’s more important to not speak than to speak.”

“…Ohhh.” Ushio blinked a few times before nodding as he held back

a smile. “I understand. Thank ya for the useful advice~”

“Do you really understand?”

“I do. You mean this, right?”

Ushio sealed up Kei’s lips, and as he twined his tongue with Kei’s, he
pushed his cock in deeper.

“Nngh…!”

Kei stopped breathing for a moment, and even that stillness was
devoured. He clung to Ushio’s back, and it was like a signal to pound
into him, and Kei came all over their bellies pressed together. Ushio
kept licking at his tongue, and Kei teared up from how hard it was to
breathe, but he didn’t want to let go of Ushio.

“Nhh, nh, nh.”

Without any words, they matched their timing to catch their breaths
and sought out each other’s lips again. How much their hearts had
opened up to each other was still an unknown to both of them—it
was different from words and different from their bodies. And even
when Kei realized that this was a process that could take them a
while, it didn’t make him sad. There would be times in the future
where Kei couldn’t control his troublesome personality, and Ushio
probably had plenty of things about him that would be difficult to
handle. He had never wanted to exert all of his effort into anything
besides work before, but deep inside his heart, he was excited. For
some reason, he believed that Ushio would never abandon him.
I suppose that eventually I’ll come here and have sex, like it’s only
natural and expected.

It was fine; there was nothing to be afraid of. Even though there was
a fear of losing his bachelorhood, it was also the same for Ushio.
The yes and no’s that they carried between them—the corners would
round out and soften every time they learned something about each
other.

“Aaah— Ahh.”

“Kei.”

Sweat dropped from the end of Ushio’s nose. There was no room for
lies and vanity in their instincts. The nakedness that thrust its
hardness over and over again and the nakedness that clenched
down on it in full bliss—entranced and mesmerized, they desired the
same thing. It felt good. They wanted to come feeling this good. Only
the two of them together could fulfill their desires, and no one could
say so otherwise. It seemed like an endless freedom and joy.

“Nnh, Ushio…”

“Hmm?”

Kei begged for Ushio’s lips over and over again, and with their lips
touching, his breath that said “I love you” probably made itself known
to Ushio. Because the thickness that filled his belly swelled even
larger.

“Aaah!”

“God, you always play dirty. I knew that though.”

Kei wanted to argue back, No, that’s you, but he couldn’t speak or
stay silent any longer. The only thing he could do was cry and moan.
His inner walls melted from the continuous thrusts, and his cock
lusted to graze against Ushio’s belly again. His nerves had all
become stupid from this reckless pleasure, but eventually a limit
would come.

“Nghhh…”

“Ah, ah, aaaah!”

Ushio came when he thrust the deepest that he could, and the heat
and the mass that swelled at that moment made Kei come too. As he
accepted it all, Ushio’s body dropped down on top of him covered in
sweat, and they held each other through the short aftershocks until
their pulses died down.

Ushio was still out of breath when he asked, “What do you prefer for
breakfast? Bread? Or rice?”

“Rice,” Kei answered briefly.

He was talking about food just after they finished? Where was the
mood in that? Kei smiled and gave Ushio a few pats on the back.

“What? Are you saying that I must be tired from working so hard?”

“That would be me, dammit!”

“My apologies.”

Strangely enough, Kei didn’t feel embarrassed as they clung to each

other. But they would have to shower again and get ready for bed
after this… And Kei was sure that he would probably panic when it
happened. He was sleepy, but it was a hassle to get up, but now he
knew that the hassle was proof that there was something special
between them. Rather than over-analyzing every little possibility that
concerned his fate, he now knew that he should just have fun
together whenever he felt that there was a “hassle.” To take the time
to banter back and forth with each other and to savor every moment
together. He was sure that everything that they faced in the future
would be their first and their last.

Translation Notes

Sky Perfect and WOWOW are satellite channels in Japan.

Sevens is a card game and Momotetsu 20-year mode refers to a
Momotaro Dentetsu game for iOS.
Respect for the Aged Day is the third Monday of September.

Extra 1: Expectations for the Near Future II

Translator Note: This is a follow-up to a previous ficlet that you can

read here.

“I have an emcee job for a wedding reception tomorrow.”

“You doing shady business dealings again? Don’t overdo it. Though I
definitely want to see the press conference of Announcer Kunieda’s
tear-filled apology.”

You’re supposed to say “I definitely don’t want to see” there.

“Don’t say something so misleading! It’s completely in the light!”

“But you get compensated without any paper trail, right?”

“It’s a token of gratitude.”

“I see a pattern here.”

“It has nothing to do with organized crime! Anyway, our company
allows us to work on the side now.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, we’re just not allowed to use the name of the network or our
job titles.”

It was part of the campaign for work-style reforms, but from another
perspective, it could be seen as a step towards the shirking of their
corporate duties that said, Don’t depend too much on the company
for support. So petty and cheap. Maybe it wasn’t a joke that one day
in the near future his job would be stolen by AI announcers. And
when that happened… Whatever, maybe he’d run for office.

“Okay, then let’s do something together~ I’m sure you’re tired of

working as a gentleman of the night? It’ll be a nice change of pace.”

“Don’t use such a suspicious-sounding expression!”

“I think food service would be good~ Maybe something that Kunieda-

san loves like ramen. It seems too hard to try to procure things like
steaks.”

“I want nothing to do with it.”

“It’s a high hurdle for an amateur to start from scratch, but we can
throw together a package of Sapporo Ichiban with some soup, and
no one will ever notice.”

What was with that diabolical, but realistic plan?

“Let’s make it a food truck that’s popular right now. We can go to all
sorts of places. It’d feel great to drain water from the noodles as we
bask in the morning sunshine~”
“What the hell kind of situation is that? Anyway, I said a side job, not
a career change.”

“It would be on the weekends.”

“I’d die from overwork if I had to do that and appear on TV from

Monday to Friday.”

“I’d pull it.”

“Pull it…?”

“You just have to sit in the back and play the pipe to attract
customers.”

“Oi, you’re calling a food cart a food truck? Don’t be ridiculous.

Anyway, you keep saying ramen, ramen, and now I really want to eat
some!”

“I only said it once though.”

“Don’t backtalk me.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll go make it.”

And so they had a quiet late-night ramen at home. If one day a future
came knocking where they would travel around with a food cart, they
would probably consume most of the food themselves for their own
meals.

Extra 2: Magic Words

Translator Note: This story takes place after “Love Rivals and Irises”
and contains references and spoilers for the spinoff.

“Come to think of it, I was pretty shocked at the Lucky Man shoot the
other time.”

The uninvited guest (Ushio had invited him to be precise) Tatsuki

had spoken up abruptly.

“Nacchan, you used some pretty unfamiliar Kansai expressions.”

“Huh? Did I really?” Shin made a puzzled-looking face.

“You did. I think we were with the Kansai Asahi people when you
said it. Oh, right, you said ‘milty,’ a milty video.”

“Meaning brazen and transparent?”

“Well, yes, that’s right,” Shin said, answering Ushio’s question.

“Kinda like it’s a lil’ fake, an’ ya can feel it, but they’re tryna to pass it
off like it ain’t?”

“And you also said ‘unfornate.’”

“Hnn, it’s kinda like unfortunate?”

“Can’t you just say unfortunate?”

“Naw, it’s a bit different. Unfor’nate is unfor’nate. It has a nuance

where the roughness stands out.”

“You don’t seem to use it normally.”

“It just kinda comes out unconsciously if I’m ’round people who use
it. Ya ain’t ever have that happen before?”

“What do you think, Paisen?”

“Why are you bringing me up!?”

“Wha? Because I was born in Tokyo and raised on hip hop~”

“What does hip hop have to do with anything!? Anyway, Kitarou, how
long do you plan to keep using that accent?”

“Eh? It’s not like I plan on it. It’s not something that I think about
preservin’…”

“Huh? How many years have you lived in Tokyo now? Wouldn’t it
normally correct itself? Or what? Do you think if you leave your
Kansai accent as it is that it will be adopted through the country? Or
maybe you just think you sound cool speaking it? No single dialect is
better than the other, but people seem to think that their dialect
makes them special, especially people from Osaka.”

“N-No, of course not,” Shin denied meekly. He couldn’t parry the

onslaught of accusations with a brashness like Tatsuki, and Ushio
stepped in to help him out.

“Now, now. Even Kunieda-san sometimes slips a little Shizuoka into

his words. Like ‘Shizoka.’”

“Screw you. I do not.”

“And you’ll mistake ‘Bikkuri Donkey’ for ‘refreshing’ too.”1

“Who the hell makes that kind of mistake!? Anyway, my parents are
from Tokyo. There’s no accent for me to pick up.”

“Just by claiming that your parents are from Tokyo, it pretty much
shows that you have a bit of a complex about it, Senpai.”

“What did you say?”

“What’s wrong with Shizoka? Shizoka’s a nice place~ It’s pretty big,
but the Nozomi doesn’t even stop there though~”2

“Bastard, you’re just mocking the place.”

“No way~ I would never~ It’s the land that spawned such a highly
respected senior colleague of mine after all~”

“The word is birthed, damn it.”

“This talent that the sea, mountains, and tea fields of Shizoka has
nurtured~ I mean seriously, what did they feed you to be able to
raise such a hilarious person?”

“Minagawa, watch out for the boomerang coming back for you.”

“—By the way, so it really doesn’t come out?”

“…What?”

“The Shizoka accent.”

“What the hell.” Kei frowned. “Why are you asking me now?”

“Because it’s now, obviously,” Ushio replied. “Here.”

Ushio’s hips were already pressed up against his body, but then they
rocked into him, and Kei trembled at the pulse that echoed from the
deepest part of his body.

“Ahh…”

“I was wondering if there were any sweet nothings from your

hometown that you could use for times like these.”
“Of course not, stupid. Ngh.”

“You say that, but I bet that there really are some. Something to get
me hot and bothered.”

“There aren’t. Ah, ah… Pay attention to what you’re doing, and do it
properly, stupid…”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

Kei was taken aback by the about-face and the awfully humble
apology.

“I’ll pay attention and do a proper job about it,” Ushio declared. “Kei,”
he whispered, stroking a cheek tenderly. “I love you.”

Ushio stared directly into Kei’s eyes from a very short distance away.

“Wha—…”

Kei rushed to turn his gaze away, but Ushio was on him immediately.
Oi, was this what he meant by “a proper job”? It was technically right,
but it wasn’t. This was just “proper play,” wasn’t it? But uh, if he were
asked if he completely hated it, it wasn’t really the case though.

“I love you. What about you?”

“Hey, quit it, stupid!”

“Answer me. Look into my eyes properly.”

“Quit it, I said!!”

“Kei.”
“No! Come on—!”

“Nawada-kun, do you have a minute? I would like to ask you

something about the broadcast today.”

“S-Sure.”

Kei led Shin to the bathroom of a deserted area in the building and
carefully checked that there was no one around.

Okay, no one would come.

“Kunieda-san, um, so you had a question…?”

Shin was nervous, pretending to be cute and innocent again (in Kei’s
subjective opinion), so Kei gave him a pleasant smile, and then used
both of his hands to pinch Shin in the cheeks.

“Ow!”

“Seriously, you bastards, why do you give me nothing but trouble

and grief~?”

“Huh? Huh? Um, ow. It hurts, sir.”

“Shut up.”

Kei did think about making Shin’s cheeks as puffy as Garigari-kun,

but he was at work, so he restrained himself and let go.

“Anyway, half of it was for that idiot of yours, so go ham when you
pinch him for me.”
“Huh? Wha—…?”

Kei returned to the staff room after letting Shin leave first, and
Tatsuki had gone up to Shin, having picked up on something.

“Huh, Nacchan, your cheeks seem a little red.”

“Y-Ya think so?”

“Did you grab a drink or something?”

“Of course, not!”

“So what happened?”

“Uhh… Hey, let’s get back to work. There’s lots to do.”

“Huh~?”

Shut up, you idiots, Kei ranted at them in his head.

My face was a hundred times redder yesterday because of you two.

Translation Notes

Bikkuri Donkey is a Hamburg steak restaurant.

Nozomi is the fastest train service on the Shinkansen between
Tokyo and Osaka.

Extra 3: do you remember you?

Translator Note: This short story references the events in “FOOLS
RUSH IN.”

Ushio was playing with his cell phone in bed when he exclaimed,
“Whoa.” It wasn’t that loud, but the surprise was clear in his voice, so
Kei opened his eyes unconsciously, although he was falling asleep,
and asked, “What?”

“Oh… I totally forgot about it.”

“Oi, are you listening to me?”

“I completely forgot about it.” Ushio looked at Kei and repeated

himself.

Uh, is he okay?

“What did you forget?”

“What do you think it is?”

“If you forgot to file your taxes, go hold a press conference and issue
your apology right now.”

“Nah, it’s not anything that serious. Well, maybe it’s similar?”

“Then what is it!?”

After all that stringing along, Ushio answered, “It’s a secret.”

He added, “You’ll find out tomorrow.”

“Say it now.”

“Now, now, a flustered Kunieda-san only gets a little rice.”

“That’s because of your damn scooping!”

“Don’t worry about it, don’t worry about it~”

Ushio came over to hug Kei and started humming. He seemed to be

in a very good mood.

Seriously, what was with him?

When Kei returned home the next day, there was a compact video
camera sitting on the table.

“Do you remember this?”

“It’s your GoPro.”

How could he forget? That ridiculous morning after all that drinking.

“What about it?”

“I forgot that I had lent it out to someone all this time.”

“Huh?”

Apparently a friend of his had asked to borrow it for some kind of trek
abroad.

“Are you stupid?” Kei frowned. “Don’t recklessly lend something so

expensive to other people.”

Plus the trip had been overseas with no real purpose. With the huge
risk of theft, loss, or damage to the camera, he felt like the camera
was somewhat dingy now. And if the guy was a friend of Ushio’s, it
seemed like he would go to places off of the beaten path in Asia, the
Middle East, or South America.

“Well, equipment are essentially toys pretty much~ There are only a
handful of pieces that are indispensable for our work, and the rest
you just try to get a hold of and touch to see what you think about it.
And once you figure that out, then it’s like it’s enough… Oh, but
Kunieda-san is a separate matter, got it?”

“I know that without you saying it!”

“I lent it out and totally forgot that I had done so. Well, more like I
forgot that I even had it.”

Apparently it was during the time when he had family troubles, and
anything more than a 30-centimeter radius outside of his range, he
hadn’t paid attention to. Maybe Ushio had unconsciously written it off
as a farewell gift, thinking that he didn’t need it back anymore.

“So the friend returned to Japan last month, and he had trouble
getting in touch with me because my phone number changed, but
yesterday I got an email from him, and after meeting up again, he
returned it to me this afternoon. Along with this.”

Ushio held out something pressed between his thumb and index
finger, and Kei widened his eyes.

“Hey, that SD card.”

“I had left it in the camera when I lent it out.”

How could he just say that he had left it in the camera? Didn’t it
contain that on there? The video of Kei, Ushio, and Tatsuki drinking
together, and… Wait, that part wasn’t filmed. It was never filmed in
the end, so it was fine. No, it wasn’t fine. Even if it was just a part of
his head in the video, it was enough of a damn bomb.
“What are you going to do about it!?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Don’t ‘what do you mean’ me! That friend of yours! You better go off
him now!”

“Why are you saying things that a mafia boss would say? I’m sure
that he didn’t watch it.”

“How do you know that?”

Ushio answered with a blank look like he really didn’t understand

Kei’s panic. “I mean, if there’s a memory card left inside a camera
that you borrowed, normally you wouldn’t look at what’s on it.”

“Huh…?”

“What? Would you look?”

“No…”

What? Was it one of those? Like those questions that asked if you
would look at someone else’s cell phone or not? Well, the decent
thing to do was to not look at it, yeah…

“Oh, so you would look~ I see~ So you’re that kind of person~”

“Quit it. Don’t say it like there’s something wrong with my humanity.”

“He’s not the type of person who can keep quiet about those things.
If he saw it, he would say something when I saw him. Anyway, even
if he saw it, it was nothing but drunken antics.”

“Maybe drunken idiots are fine with drunken antics, but I’m not fine
with it!”
“He’s not a TV person and doesn’t even own one at home. I’m pretty
sure he doesn’t even know who Announcer Kunieda is.”

“Whatever, don’t save such stupid things, you blockhead!”

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry.”

“Apologize more. Do it more thoroughly.”

“So let’s go watch a nostalgic video together.”

“Oi, are you listening to me?”

Ushio very conveniently muted the complaints and pulled Kei over to
the hanging roller shade. The recording wasn’t worth a second
screening (or on a big screen) in his opinion, but he figured that he
wouldn’t get dinner unless they watched it first. Kei reluctantly sat
down on a cushion left on the floor and waited for Ushio to set up the
projector.

“I’m turning off the lights.”

“Hurry it up.”

The projector lit up the white screen, and after a brief blank image,
the recording played off of the tiny storage card.

“…No, wro~ng!”

Yeah, this was it. Even as he watched it now, it was stupid and stupid
and stupid. Why did he have to watch this dumb thing after a long
day of work? Kei felt dissatisfied about it, but as the familiar
conversation played, he couldn’t take his eyes off of the screen.

Were the walls really this color? He noticed the feeling of the lights,
and the shape and the height of the bed frame. The sound of it
creaking as it supported people’s weight on it. Ushio’s house no
longer existed, but a small fragment of it had been stored here.

“Even without filming any of it, I remember everything.”

That was the last line of the video from Ushio. Kei had also thought
the same thing at the time. That he would remember everything. But
it wasn’t the case. It had faded. He had forgotten things. Only a year
or so had passed, but the things that weren’t always at his side had
become ephemeral. How many steps was it from the front door to
the stairs? How many steps did the stairs have? How tall was the
ceiling? What about the size of the windows? The image was all too
vague, and all that he was left with was the sentiment that he would
remember.

The pain of forgetting started from the moment when they learned
that they had forgotten. That was why his heart hurt, and Kei pushed
his head into Ushio’s shoulder. Ushio stroked his head gently.

“…I’m glad that we still have this.”

Kei nodded his head faintly. Fingers ran through his hair over and
over again. His hair was still styled to Kunieda-san’s specifications,
but it was gradually mussed, and he became the Kei who only
belonged to Ushio.

“We might update this place again in the future, so let’s try to film it
as much as we can.”

Kei nodded again, and Ushio stopped the video, shifting his arm
from Kei’s head to his shoulders.

“Okay, let’s start right away.”

Ushio hugged Kei tightly, and Kei said frantically, “Oi.”

“You’re the one who said to hurry it up earlier.”

“I didn’t mean it that way! Anyway, what can we even film with the
room this dark!?”

“I’ll turn the lights on~”

“Quit it!”

He would lose things in exchange for the new days to come, and he
was sure that he would one day lose a number of seconds from this
moment. Only one thing was certain—that he wouldn’t be alone in
that journey.

Extra 4: It Happens

There were quite a number of words considered to be taboo for TV.

There were banned words prohibited from broadcasts, terms in the
gray zone that were better off avoided if possible, and topics
considered off-limits for each individual celebrity (such as an
actress’s underground idol work before her big break).

“Oh, I saw on the internet the other day that a reporter once said,
‘Please take your restroom breaks during the commercials,’ and their
jobs pretty much dried up overnight,” Ushio said.

It was true. In this industry that was funded by sponsors and the
commercials that they placed for their products and services, anyone
who appeared on TV must not ever discredit the value of
commercials or allude to the proportion of actual show content.

“That’s crazy~ Man, I wouldn’t know what to do if a guest were to

suddenly say that in front of me on live TV~ It freaks me out~”
Personally speaking, he thought that this stupid junior colleague of
his should be banned from the air 24 hours a day, but Tatsuki sat
there drinking his beer without a care in the world.

“Idiot,” Kei snorted.

Tatsuki wasn’t perturbed in the least by the insult—it was as if a

gentle breeze had blown by—but sitting next to him, Shin jumped a
little in reaction.

No, Kitarou, it wasn’t meant for you. Well, the fact that you’re dating
such an idiot, it makes you pretty stupid though.

“There’s a damn manual that tells you how to handle it. You should
have already learned how to do it, you twerp.”

“Huh!? You’re kidding! I didn’t know that!!”

“You probably forgot about it with the dregs of tofu pulp for brains of
yours.”

“Please tell me what I should do.”

“I refuse.”

“Wha—? Hmm, but I wonder what the correct thing to do is…?

Nacchan, what do you think?”

“Huh? …Maybe just a normal apology? Like ‘I would like to

apologize for the inappropriate comment that occurred just now.’”

Kei heaved a sigh at them.

“Not only are you wrong, but it’s so normal that it’s boring. What kind
of suggestion is that, Kitarou? And you used to work for a variety
show? Put some more thought into it.”
“I-I’m sorry.”

“Hmmm, I wonder why, but the phrase ‘bullying a young wife’ seems
perfect right now.”

“I’ll murder you. Who the hell are you calling a mother-in-law?”

“Okay, next, it’s your turn, Tsuzuki-san~”

“I can’t think of anything. I don’t know, maybe you have to show a

sign of good faith and like, cut down the broadcast time to show 3
times the number of commercials?”

Kei had heard of shows accidentally skipping commercials, and they

had to compensate for three times the value of the commercial slot,
but that answer was wrong too.

“Maybe you just shout ‘You’re out~!’ and smack them in the butt with
a bat?”

“Why are you causing another broadcast incident on top of it?”

“Just cover it up and distract the original accident with another one~
If you want to hide a tree, then find a forest~”

And then Tatsuki suddenly started singing, like he had flipped on

some kind of switch.

“Broadcast incidents~ It happens, don’t worry~ I wanna say one~

Broadcast incidents~ It happens, don’t worry~ I wanna hurry and say
one~”

“Oh, something’s starting.”

“Broadcast incidents~ It happens, don’t worry~ I’ll say one now~”

“You don’t have to say it! Just scram!”

“You’re so impatient~”

“I’m normal!”

“Minagawa, ya drank too much. Let’s go home. Ya got a live

broadcast tomorrow, right?”

“Even though it’s a Saturday? That’s gotta be tough~”

“I’ll be on around noon~ I’ll be introducing a special event at a

department store, so watch me, okay~”

“Who the hell’s gonna watch you.”

“And here we have the Hokkaido Food Fair. It’s a bustling event with
more and more customers stopping by to look at the offerings! After
the break, don’t miss our introduction of the special gourmet items
that can only be found here!”

Tatsuki faced the camera and waved his hand. That was when the
rancher standing next to him at the display Delectable Sweets Made
from Farm Fresh Milk was supposed to say for the cue to go to
commercial, “Please come and see us.” However, maybe due to the
guy’s nervousness on live TV, or maybe he thought he needed to
say something more clever than what was given to him in the script,
but this was what the guest said:

“Please use the restroom during the commercials, everyone!”

Ah, and there was the blunder. In an instant, his thoughts were
spread wide open like the blossoming of an elaborate origami piece.
Whenever it was announced, “This might appear on the test,” those
questions did tend to appear later, yeah? It was something that
happened. Anyway, there was nothing he could do about an amateur
blurting things from his mouth. The show had just the one sponsor,
so there was no need to go an elaborate apology tour to a bunch of
different places. That part was lucky at least for the Programming
and business operations…

No, no, didn’t my senior tell me in the end how to handle this kind of
situation? If I remember correctly, the right thing to say is…

“The commercials are also important information for our viewers, so

it would be wrong to say that. All right, let’s go to commercial.”

Tatsuki, who had arrived at the correct answer, grinned even brighter
than he had before.

“W-Wah, that scared me for a sec…!” Shin pressed a hand to his

chest. He had been watching Tatsuki’s live broadcast while doing
some work at the network.

“Tatsuki was incredible just now.”

“He was able to respond without even panicking~”

Well, yeah, he had just learned it by coincidence yesterday.

“But you could see that his face totally said ‘Jackpot~!’ afterwards.”

“Yeah, whenever Minagawa pulls something off, he tends to make a

face that says that he hit on something good…”

“That’s Tatsuki for you. It’s what happens.”

“That damn bastard!!”

Kei sat thunderstruck on the sofa. He had been begrudgingly

watching the TV (because Ushio had decided that he wanted it on).

“He profited off of the freaking knowledge that I gave him!!”

“That’s Kunieda-san for you. He’ll throw a temper tantrum regardless

of the outcome,” Ushio said laughing.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If Minagawa hadn’t said anything and let it turn into a big incident,
you would have been angry that you just told him how to handle it,
right?”

“…Shut up.”

“Things that Kunieda-san does, Number 2: He tends to cut off the

conversation if he doesn’t like what he hears.”

“To begin with, it’s all your fault for bringing up that story yesterday!”

“Number 3: He tends to become unreasonable and attempts to shift

the blame onto someone else.”

Kei decided to shut up since no matter what he said, Ushio would rib
him for it, and then a kiss was pressed to his cheek.

“What the hell!?”

“Number 4: He tends to fix moods through his body.”

“Shut up with your stupid ‘tends to’ crap. Anyway, that’s not me!
That’s something you do!”

“Oh, you’re right.”

No matter where it started, it tended to end with things getting

handsy.

Extra 5: Blossoms, Windstorms, and Midnight (Ushio & Kei)

When he returned home, there wasn’t the usual welcome at the

door. Kei thought that maybe Ushio was in the basement studio or
absorbed in his work in his room, but no, he was standing outside on
the balcony. Kei felt a slight pensiveness from his figure, but maybe
it was due to the night or the view of his back.

“Oi.”

When Kei opened the sliding door, Ushio turned around.

“Welcome back,” he said. “Is it that time already?”

“Yeah, it’s that time.”

“Come over here for a bit.” Ushio leaned on the railing and waved
Kei over.

“No way. It’s cold.”

“I’ll give you something nice afterwards.”

“Give it to me now.”
“If I do that, you won’t come out here.”

So you know me that well, huh?

Kei reluctantly put his bag down and went out to the balcony. The
spring night wind blew past and brushed his skin with a distant chill.
The air was cold and unsettling today.

“Look over there.”

Ushio pointed to the opposite shore of the canal. There was a park
that broke up the rows of warehouses.

“I hadn’t noticed that the cherry blossoms had bloomed.”

It wasn’t anything elegant like a nighttime admiration of the cherry

blossoms. From here, the trees were about the size of a thumb as
they lined the banks of the canal. They weren’t even illuminated.
They only appeared where street lights were present.

“It’s too bad. I should have come out to the balcony more often. It’s
already past peak bloom,” Ushio said wistfully. His schedule had
been packed with work lately.

It was true. Cherry blossom season could end in the blink of an eye
for a busy working adult. But then Ushio said, “But I’m glad I’m able
to see them before the blossoms are all gone.” It was very much like
him to quickly look on the positive side of things.

“So you’re not going cherry blossom viewing with the people at your
show?”

“I got a LINE that said they’re gathering sometime tomorrow, and I

immediately forgot about it.”
The Prince’s motto was to never appear at any parties except for
official business.

“That’s a waste.”

“Not really. What are you smiling at?”

“Because I don’t really think that it’s a waste even though I said it
was.”

“Huh?”

“I said it to be gracious, but obviously I’m happier to have you all to

myself.”

What’s this? Already starting things just as I get home?

“It wasn’t like I was weighing you against the other options, okay!? I
just want to laze around at home when I don’t have work!”

“Yes, yes, I was being too conceited.”

“Say it more meekly!”

Kei clapped the face that was still very full of conceit in between his
hands, and unexpectedly it was completely chilled through.

“…Hmm?”

Kei touched Ushio’s upper arms and hands, noticing how cold his
clothes and skin were.

“Oi, I’ll charge you for touching me.”

“Stupid, I should be charging you for touching me— Wait, back to my

original question. How long have you been out here!?”
“Hmm? Probably since watching the weather on The News?”

That was almost an hour ago.

“What are you doing, stupid!? Get back inside!”

“Hmmm, just a bit more~”

“3, 2, 1, okay, you’re done.”

“Too fast, too fast.”

Ushio dodged Kei’s hand that tried to grab him and wrapped his
arms around Kei’s shoulders instead.

“So warm~”

“That’s because you’re freezing!”

Even the hair and the ear that brushed against Kei’s temple were
freezing.

“I’m just tired from thinking about things that were bothering me.”

Kei stopped struggling when he heard those words.

“…What things?”

“What would you do if you get a request that has the same delivery
and payment dates of another project that you’ve already accepted,
and the work is about the same, but you get double the
commission?”

“I’d bump the project for the new one,” Kei said simply.

“What do you tell the client that you’ve bumped?”

“I’ll tell them whatever. If I’m a freelancer, what’s wrong with taking a
better job?”

“But I think that you’d pick a different option,” Ushio said, plopping
his head against Kei, attaching himself like a dog or a cat.

“You’d probably do both jobs. Because you’re Kunieda-san, and you

must meet everyone’s expectations.”

Kei was a little suspicious that it was a backhanded compliment, but

Ushio’s voice was a serious one. Sure, there were aspects of Ushio’s
job that could be similar to his own, but it wasn’t like Ushio’s work
relied on hobbling projects together based on quick thinking and
execution alone.

“I’m not as amazing as you, so when I’m faced with a decision where
I can’t take both projects at once, I prioritize the one that I accepted
first. Because I feel like I won’t like the work that I do if I get the job
by stiffing another one for the prospects of more money.”

The wind was strong tonight. Every time there was a ripple on the
surface of the water of the darkened canal, the reflections of the
street lights swayed and broke up into little pieces. Almost like a
swarm of creatures that didn’t know how to swim.

“But in the end, it still flickers in and out of my head. Like why
couldn’t it have come a month earlier or later? Or I should have
turned down the current job that I’m doing. Or that it wasn’t a job that
needed me in particular. It’s not like they’ll wait for me when I told
them that I was too busy to accept the request… It kept bothering
me to the point that I couldn’t concentrate, so I came out here to cool
my head down.”

When Kei finished listening to Ushio talk, he unwrapped his arm from
Ushio’s back and lightly pinched him in the side. It was only a light
pinch, but Ushio removed his arms and stared at Kei.
“W-What?”

“Okay, let’s go in~”

“Huh?”

“You’re seducing me, right?”

“I’m not!”

Wasn’t this a serious talk, you idiot? Oh, I know, you’re embarrassed
about your silly whining, because you want me to spoil you. You
dumb idiot.

So you finally learned how to act a little spoiled, huh? Idiot.

“You’re an idiot.”

Kei reached up to hold Ushio’s face in his hands. He seemed to feel

a little warmer than before. Maybe Ushio had warmed up, or maybe
only Kei had cooled down. It was all the same. As long as they got
closer together, then it was fine.

“Even if the timing was the problem here, you should be grateful that
you have the luxury to turn down jobs in the first place. You’re a
worthless idiot after all.”

“…Yeah.” Ushio nodded a little dumbstruck. “That’s true. You’re

exactly right.”

“Idiot. Standing out here in the freezing cold, of course you’re not
going to find any answers.”

Maybe up until now you had found your answers like this, but it’s
different now. Hurry up and realize this.
Maybe it was Kei’s fault, but it applied to the both of them, and Ushio
should realize that they both had each other now.

“Thank you, Kei.”

“More importantly, hurry up and hand over the nice thing already.”

This time Kei grumbled in embarrassment. If Ushio gave an answer

like “It’s me,” Kei would seriously go off on him. However, Ushio said,
“Yeah, hold on, wait here,” and slipped inside the apartment.

“What? Oi.”

Kei was thinking, Why do I have to wait here, but Ushio returned to
the balcony in no time. He was carrying a small thermos and a mug
in his hands.

“Okay, take this for me.”

Ushio handed Kei the mug and twisted open the thermos. A creamy-
colored steam rose and disappeared into the darkness.

“I think it turned out alright.”

What poured into the mug was the same color of the steam—a rice
porridge… Nope, a sweet and unique scent of fermentation was
released with the steam.

“Amazake?”

“Yup. My head was in a jumble, so I thought that I might as well

make drinks for us while I wasted my time on nonsense.”

Kei gave it a taste, and it was very sweet. But unlike the flat taste of
white sugar or gum syrup, it was a penetrating sweetness where his
body could sense the nourishment that bubbled from it. His body
understood, Oh, this is all pure energy. The grains of rice softly
touched his tongue and became sweet again when he chewed them.
How long had it been since he last drank amazake? He remembered
when he was a child, he had received a cup at the New Year’s shrine
visit or something, but he was sure that he drank a little of it and
said, “Mommy, I’ll give this to you,” and secretly foisted it on her. It
hadn’t suited his tastes at the time, but now it was different.

“Is it good? Let me have some too.”

Ushio took a drink from the mug before taking a deep breath.

“Even when I can’t move forward, time does, and when I think that
something can be made in that time regardless of my own situation,
it makes me feel a little relieved.”

You’re really an idiot.

Kei swallowed down the murmur with the rice koji of the amazake. It
was almost lukewarm, but it warmed his whole body from his throat
and his stomach. Maybe the flickering thoughts bothered Ushio now,
but with time, the thoughts would ferment, and Ushio would make
something again. They were important ingredients for him, so he
should hold on to them instead of cooling them down or throwing
them away. Kei didn’t know if it would taste good or bad in the end,
but something would absolutely be born.

They pressed their heads together, sharing the deliciousness from a

single mug.

“It’s also supposed to be good for preventing summer heat fatigue.

Let’s make a chilled amazake when it gets hot out.”

Maybe because they were talking about the next season already, but
a particularly strong wind blew through, and across the canal, cherry
blossoms petals snowed from the trees all at once.

“Ahh,” they both said at the same time.

The flower petals seemed to have no weight as they suddenly
stopped in the light of the streetlamps and slowly, slowly fluttered
down to the surface of the water. Like falling snow or falling stars.
Maybe the pieces floating in the mug were sweet fragments of flower
petals. Ones that Ushio made.

It would be nearly one year since they first moved here.

“…It’s too bad,” Ushio murmured, watching the last moments of the
blossoms.

“They’ll probably be gone in the morning before your gathering can

see them.”

Kei didn’t care about the gathering one bit, however…

“Oi.” Kei pushed the now empty mug against Ushio’s stomach.

“Hmm? Do you want seconds?”

“No… I can go with you now for a bit. If you want to see the cherry
blossoms.”

“Huh?”

“I said if you want to go out and come right back afterwards, I’ll go
with you!”

“Oh? You will? Alright, I’ll take you up on the offer.”

Oi, act happier about it. You better be grateful.

Kei went inside the apartment feeling dissatisfied at the weak

reaction. In order to change into his tracksuit, i.e. his uniform, he
removed his suit jacket and started unbuttoning his dress shirt. Ushio
had gone into the kitchen to drop off the thermos and mug first
before walking over to him.

And then Ushio pulled Kei into a hard hug with all of his strength. Kei
thought that he was just being playful and let him be, but it didn’t
seem like Ushio was going to let him go.

“Oi, aren’t we going out!? If you drag your feet, I’ll change my mind.”

“It’s fine.”

“Huh?”

“I changed my mind. I’m fine with not going anywhere. I want to

touch you.”

The hands that rolled up his undershirt dug into his hips lightly. There
was no pain or stress, but Kei felt like Ushio always easily made
marks into him like clay whenever he touched his skin with his heat.

“Idiot.”

Kei wondered if Ushio thought the same thing about Kei’s hands that
were resting on his shoulders.

“Oi, do you understand? I’m inviting you out right now. It doesn’t
even happen once a year, you know.”

“Yeah.”

Ushio followed the dip of his spine downwards and tried to slip under
the constrictive belt. Well, it wasn’t like Kei wanted to go outside (it
was a pain in the ass to go up and down the stairs), and yeah, it was
fine, he supposed.

“We can do this any time, you know,” Kei said, a little incredulous.
“Really?” Ushio asked. “Can we really do this any time? …I never
thought about it that way.”

Well, strictly speaking, it wasn’t like this was open 24 hours a day,
365 days a year. But that probably wasn’t what Ushio was saying.
Kei hugged the body that clung to him to press them together even
closer. So close that even the wind couldn’t blow between them.

“Yeah, we can do this any time,” Kei retorted. “If you don’t think so,
then I’m never forgiving you.”

If you’re not here when I want you. If you leave without saying
anything. Or if you decide on your own that you want to break up. I
won’t forgive you.

“Huh? Am I being criticized for something?”

“Don’t play dumb, idiot.”

Kei would bring it up again and again. No matter how many times, no
matter how many hundreds of times, no matter how many springs
came around. He would hold onto this grudge and criticize him, and
re-expose these wounds that he had. And then he would wait for
Ushio to come lick them with a heated tongue. Just like now.

Kei could hear the roar of the wind even from the bed. However, it
was only for a moment; more intense urges raged inside and outside
of his body, sweeping everything away but the two of them naked.
And afterwards, a calm lull trickled into the darkness.
After the Storm

Kei tried rolling his sluggish body over the sheets, but he ran into
nothing. When he slowly sat up in bed, Ushio came into the room
with a mug in his hand.

“Be careful, it’s hot.”

Kei thought that it was coffee, but it was hot milk with amazake.
There was also a little ginger in it.

“Is it good?”

“It makes me sleepy.”

“Perfect. It’s your day off.”

That was true. Kei wasn’t going out to see the cherry blossoms. And
he didn’t care to see if the cherry blossoms had blown off overnight.
He didn’t care about the blossoms or windstorms outside of his
home. The question at present was if he should go back to sleep or
demand breakfast. He decided that he would think about it until he
finished his amazake milk.

Extra 6: Fantasy Boyfriend

Ushio received an unexpected request to design some characters for

a smartphone app. It was the first time that he had been asked to do
this type of work, and well yeah, it had sparked his interest. When he
went to a meeting with his clients for a tour and introductions, he
said that he had never played a smartphone game before, and the
project leader pulled out her own phone to show him one.

“The game will be something like this. We don’t plan to have a lot of
gachas or collaboration events where people have to throw lots of
money at the game, but well, we do hope that they spend something
at least. We’re envisioning a pretty casual and relaxing type of
game… A game like this would be very cute.”

“What is the objective of the game?”

“I wouldn’t say that there’s an objective or anything. You can angle
for fish, catch bugs, pick fruit and such… And look, the animals will
come out and tell you ‘I want this,’ and you can give things to them.”

It was certainly a peaceful island, and there was a cat about two
heads tall that popped up a thought bubble with an icon of fishes in
it. When the human character who resembled the project leader held
out a brown paper bag with an illustration of a bear on it, the cat
happily accepted it, and a pink heart floated out above its head.

“When you do so, it raises their affection for you. You can befriend all
sorts of animals by repeating the process, and you can do things for
your home campsite like make furniture or grow flowers.”

“So there are lots of ways to enjoy the game.”

“That’s right~ …Well, unless you work hard to give tributes to the
animals, they won’t give you the time of day though~”

The murmur seemed like it might trigger a landmine, so Ushio didn’t

comment on it and told them that he would be happy to consider the
request. The meeting ended, and on the way home, he researched
the game that she had told him about, and by the time he reached
his train stop, he reached the conclusion that he would never
download the game on his own if it weren’t for work. The game was
cute, calm, and heartwarming, and it was even well-executed down
to the details, however… As he went grocery shopping, he realized
why he felt no desire to play the game.

It’s pretty much my day-to-day life.

It was late at night when Kunieda-san arrived home. The thought

bubble that popped up over his head was meat, rice, and alcohol…
Which was obviously his imagination, but Ushio was sure that he
had the right answer. When Ushio served him simmered meat with
tofu, white rice, and beer—well, he didn’t get all excited like the
animals or thank him, but he did eat it voraciously.

“I mean, look.”

“…What?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

And then another thought bubble that only Ushio could see popped
up. It was the weekend, which meant more alcohol and snacks. And
so Ushio warmed up some sake and served it with some stir-fried
daikon radish and anchovies.

Look, I got it right again. Actually, I want to know what the wrong
answers are.

“But there’s no heart.”

“Huh?”

“Just talking to myself.”

Kei gave Ushio a deeply suspicious look, but he didn’t question him
about it too much and finished a late dinner with drinks to his full
satisfaction. Next was… Oh, right, a bath. A bath, right? And he
would want something refreshing to eat in there as well.

“The bath is ready.”

“Okay.”

“I have mikan oranges in the freezer.”

“I’ll eat them in the bath.”

Yes, yes, and when you’re all refreshed and relaxed in the tub, I’ll
pick the perfect time to bring them to you.

This was generally how his days went, and Ushio didn’t think that he
was working to give Kei “tributes” to curry his favor. Plus Kei didn’t
think one iota that he was getting tributes or whatever. Life was more
like intersecting gears than a seesaw—as long as they each turned
without any issues, then that was the best for them both. And so
Ushio hadn’t looked for anything in return for everything that he did.

“…I can see it,” Ushio whispered, looking at Kei who had just gotten
out of the bath.

“I can see it clearly~”

“What the hell kind of radio waves have you been receiving all night?
You’re creeping me out.”

“No, no~ I can see it~ Your thought bubble~”

The bubble with Kei’s requests that floated above his half-damp hair
like a cloud or cotton candy.

“It’s me, hmm?”

“What?”

Ahhh, Ushio was glad that he had a home with a roof, walls, and a
bed that he didn’t have to make himself.

“Okay, let’s make your affection shoot up~”

“Seriously, what the hell are you saying!?”

Even if Kei didn’t know what Ushio was saying, he shook his head
vigorously like he knew what would happen next. But Ushio could
still see that the thought bubble was there. Well, that meant that he
would have to pay plenty of tributes then. With love.

“By the way, what do you think I want right now?”

“Huh?”

When Ushio had asked his question, he had caught Kei’s face
between his hands so that Kei couldn’t run away. The skyrocketing
temperature of his body gradually warmed through Ushio’s hands.

“You’re really such a closeted pervert~” Ushio teased.

“Only in your wild fantasies, you bastard!”

“Huh? Then tell me what Kunieda-san thinks the right answer is~”

“How would I know…”

Before Kei could look away in desperation, Ushio pressed a kiss

between his eyebrows.

“Hurry up and emit a heart~”

“Are you telling me to die!?”

“That’s not what I meant. …I know that you know what I mean.”

“I said that I don’t.”

More than any game in virtual reality, Ushio had the most fun playing
with this Prince that he could touch in front of him.

It was a happiness that they had been promised.

Extra 7: Blossoms, Windstorms, and Midnight (Tatsuki & Shin)

There were plans to get together on a Saturday in April with people

from the show to view the cherry blossoms. Unlike official gatherings
where executives would be invited, this was a more casual get-
together where attendees were invited over the group LINE. It would
start at 11 am. People didn’t have to stay too long, and those who
wanted an afterparty were free to go off on their own if they wanted
to. It was pretty easy to organize as the one who worked behind the
scenes to help make it happen. They split up the tasks to buy drinks,
pick up snacks, and call for catering, and after 3 am, Shin took a taxi
from the network to head to the park. It was his turn to relieve the
first stakeout person who had dashed over after the broadcast to
reserve a good spot for the viewing.

“Hey, thanks for savin’ the spot for us. I’ll take over for ya now.”

“Yay~ It’s freezing out here, so be careful, okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I brought plenty o’ stuff with me. But I wonder if it’s gonna
be cold with the sun out? Maybe I shouldna bought so much beer.”

“Yeah, maybe. I know someone with an outdoor stove, so I’ll ask if

we can use it. We can keep the bottled drinks at room temp, and
people might want hot water or hot sake if it stays cold.”

“That’d be great.”

There was a small lake in the area with blue tarps spread out here
and there, but there weren’t many spot savers around. He didn’t
want someone to kick them out of their spot if there was no one to
keep a lookout, but maybe it was a needless worry. But it was
absurd to take another taxi in order to go back, so Shin opted to
open up his laptop in the middle of the very spacious spot. There
was cardboard laid down on top of the cushioning material, and it
was pretty soft and comfortable to sit on. In this convenient world
nowadays, it wasn’t hard to kill off time while waiting. He filled out his
timesheets and expense reports that he always tended to put off,
and when he sat and stretched, a surprising stillness for a park at the
heart of the city crept in with the cold. The time of night did play a
factor, but he was a little distance away from the street, and maybe
the trees helped to dampen the sound. However, he wasn’t
particularly scared with the streetlights on and the other people
around, and he lay down on his laptop as a pillow.

Cherry blossoms that bloomed overhead like paper lanterns fluttered

in the wind. It was past the peak of the season, and this was one of
the last chances to catch the view. The blossoms were a slightly
deeper color than when they first started to bloom, but it made for a
more vivid ending. It was the pink of goodbyes, unique only to the
cherry blossoms. They hung gently faced down like they no longer
needed sunlight (maybe it was just because of the nighttime), and
Shin felt like he made eye contact with the blossoms as he looked up
at the trees. That bothered him more than the stillness. He wrapped
his blanket around his body and closed his eyes. It was hard to say
that it was comfortable, but it wasn’t a bad feeling to be in contact
with the dirt of the ground as he tasted a sense of freedom and
immorality as he lay on the ground with his shoes kicked off with no
walls and no ceilings in sight. When a strong wind blew, the flower
petals quietly rustled. If he listened carefully, he felt like he could
hear the grass growing or the insects skittering. He felt like he had
shrunk down so much that he could hear them. It was that quiet of a
night.

He felt small enough to be covered by a single flower petal that clung

to his eyelid right now.

“Hey there, fella~ What are you doing there~?”

A voice fell down with the flowers. Shin cried, “I’m sorry!” and
frantically got up.
“I’m savin’ a spot for viewin’ cherry blossoms— Agh, it’s just ya!”

Shin thought that the police came to question him, but it was only
Tatsuki.

“Ya scared me… Ahh, ya shoes! Dun walk on here with ’em on!”

“Okay~”

Tatsuki kicked his sneakers off wherever and sat down next to Shin.

“Whatta ya come here for?”

“I heard that you were saving our spot here by yourself, so I thought
that you might be lonely~”

“It ain’t a big deal.”

Shin wasn’t lonely, and he didn’t want Tatsuki intruding on this iffy
gray zone where this was his job but he didn’t get paid for his time. It
was fine if Tatsuki just slept until morning and arrived at 11 am with
everyone else. There was no hierarchy in their relationship, but Shin
wanted to keep their work duties separate. But if he were to say that,
Tatsuki would sulk about it… While Shin stayed silent, Tatsuki spoke
up.

“Nacchan, uh oh.”

“What?”

“I’m cold.”

“Ya must be.”

Compared to Shin, who was dressed in a down coat and covered in

a blanket, Tatsuki was only wearing a slightly thick hoodie.
“Let me in the blanket.”

“Dun wanna.”

The other stakeout people were covered in sleeping bags and

cardboard boxes and probably sleeping, but Shin didn’t want to be
snuggled with Tatsuki out in the open where anyone could see them.

“Why not!?”

“Dun ‘why not’ me! And dun shout so loud! If ya gonna bother me,
then go home.”

Tatsuki sulked at the harshness that he received. He stepped into his

shoes without putting them on properly and left.

Crap, was I too harsh? But it’s true that it’s easier without ’im
around… I should message ’im on LINE in the mornin’ an’ apologize.

His guilt intensified as he watched the drooping cherry blossoms that

seemed to curl down. There were times when Shin would say some
reckless things because he knew that with Tatsuki’s personality, he
wouldn’t badger him to do things that he didn’t want to do. Shin
sighed, and flower petals fell again. A figure of a person slowly came
over.

“…Hmm?”

Tatsuki had come back. He was walking awfully slowly because he

was holding Nisshin Cup Noodles in each hand. The basic ones. He
probably bought them at the convenience store outside of the park.
Tatsuki kicked off his shoes again and handed Shin one of the piping
warm cups.

“Ya givin’ me one?”

“Not for free though!”

Shin knew the price for the noodles and vacated one half of the
blanket. They shared the blanket together and tore off the lids of the
cup noodles. Steam and the scent of broth spread through the night.

“It’s like we’re homeless.”

“Dun say that.”

It was crazy how good the cup noodles tasted with their shoulders
pressed together just before daybreak on this chilly spring night in a
mostly empty park. He had eaten these noodles countless numbers
of times at home and during late nights at the network, but there was
a happiness in his mouth that spread throughout his body, like it was
his first time tasting this flavor in his life. He thought that maybe it
was similar to the first taste of food after going missing in a disaster.

A strong wind blew, and the blossoms trembled loudly in the glow of
the streetlights.

Flower petals danced like they were thrown into the night sky. It was
different from the ephemera associated with the phrase Cherry
blossoms scatter—it was vivid and intense like the bursting of
fireworks.

“…It’s beautiful,” Tatsuki murmured, warming his hands with the cup
noodles. His voice was uncharacteristically quiet, like it was careful
not to interrupt the cherry blossoms that tried to kick away the spring
on such a cold night.

Shin replied in the same volume, “Yeah,” and leaned in closer.

The wind blew, and the flowers scattered. Shin thought to himself,
Just scatter ’em all off. When the day breaks, before everybody
comes, let the trees be bare with not single petal left on any o’ ’em.
An’ we can go missin’, wrapped up in the flower petals.
Those were the selfish thoughts that he had in his head.
After the Storm

The tip of his nose felt itchy and ticklish, and he sneezed. At the
same time, Shin woke from his dream. In an instant, he released
himself from the dream and opened his eyes.

“Oh, he’s awake.”

“Morning~”

The production staff laughed as they watched him, and above his
head was the clear blue sky of the morning.

“Huh…?”

Shin remembered nothing after he ate his cup noodles. Apparently

he had fallen asleep in the open air. How careless of him.

“No way…” Shin pushed away the blanket to sit up, and flower petals
fluttered off of him. They had probably fallen on him when he was
sleeping like a log. As he sat there unexpectedly captivated by the
sight, Tatsuki woke up next to him.

“It’s freezing… Nacchan, don’t steal the blanket… Huh?”

“Oh, and now Tatsuki’s finally awake.”

“We cleaned up your ramen cups for you.”

“Oh, thanks…” Shin answered with his eyes looking down,

embarrassed to be seen sleeping together. He scratched his head
for no real reason, and someone showed their cell phone to him.

“Look~ It’s a nice picture, right~?”

“Hmm?”

It was a picture of Tatsuki and Shin asleep together, buried in flower

petals. Shin was speechless, but next to him, Tatsuki brought his
head over and laughed honestly, “It’s great~ Send it over to me too~”

“I’ve sent it to the group LINE, so get it there yourself.”

“It’s posted on the show’s Twitter too~”

“What? No, ya can’t, dun do somethin’ like that without askin’,” Shin
protested without thinking.

It was a little extreme, but as long as he belonged to this industry, he

essentially had no rights to the usage of his own likeness. And even
though Shin knew that people were looking at Tatsuki in the picture
and not really at Shin, it still bothered him.

“Delete it.”

“What? But it’s already been retweeted a lot. It’s impossible~”

“Anyway, didn’t you already show up in a two-shot with Tatsuki on

TV~?”

“This is differ’n from gettin’ shown on live TV!”

“Hey, I’m hungry. Did you bring something to eat?” Tatsuki slapped
an arm around Shin’s shoulder. The rough gesture and his
easygoing voice essentially told Shin to calm down.

Thankfully the mood didn’t get awkward, and no one mentioned the
photo again. They made their preparations for everyone’s arrival,
watched the remaining cherry blossoms as they ate and drank, and
in the late afternoon, they finally disbanded. Shin brought the
leftovers and trash bags with him in the taxi and sorted everything at
the network. It was already night by the time that he was done, and
he found a LINE from Tatsuki that said, I’ll wait for you at my
apartment. Shin abandoned his plans to crash into his bed at home
and headed over to Tatsuki’s apartment.

“Didna people say they were gonna drink somewhere?”

“I have to wake up tomorrow at 5 for a shoot, so I thought that I’d

play it safe.”

Tatsuki didn’t get much sleep last night either, so it was a pretty
sensible and mature decision for him.

“Okay, good night then.”

Shin tried to drive Tatsuki off the sofa and over to the bed, but
Tatsuki stayed where he was.

“They were worried about the photo.”

“Huh?”

“They thought that you were angry. And so they deleted it from the
group LINE.”

“Angry…? I just didna like it.”

“That you were in a picture with me?”

“It ain’t that… Well, maybe it might be?”

Shin felt bad that he reacted so openly.

“I ain’t like ya. I dun like people lookin’ at me. Uh, but, it ain’t like
people are lookin’ at me in the picture though.”

“You worry too much. You had all your clothes on.”
“Of course, I did!”

“I already made it my wallpaper on my phone. Look~”

He said such frightful words without batting an eyelid.

“Ya dumb nut! Dun do that!”

“Why not? It’s not like I let people touch my phone. And even if
people see it, I’ll just say that it’s a good picture, and that’s that.”

“No, ya can’t, change it right now.”

“I’ve been thinking, you’re always mad when you’re around me,
Nacchan.”

When that observation was pointed out to him, Shin was taken
aback. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, hanging his head.

“I ain’t as brave as ya, Minagawa. I can’t look at myself objectively, I

guess… I’m tryin’ to act normal here, but I feel like I’ll leak things out
without meanin’ to, an’ it scares me.”

“You’ll leak things out? Like what?”

“Like… ya already know what!”

Rather than things, it was just the one thing.

“Whaa? But I’m a dumb nut, so I don’t really know~ Tell me~”

Tatsuki drew closer, giving a smile that clearly said that he knew, and
Shin tugged Tatsuki’s ear.

“Nacchan, does being with me scare you and tire you out?”

“…Sometimes, but…”
“But?”

Shin squeezed his eyes shut, twisted his body, and threw himself to
hug Tatsuki tight.

“I’d hate it more if ya ain’t with me… ‘Cause I love ya.”

“Yeah.”

Tatsuki gave a satisfied nod and hugged Shin back.

Ahhh, an’ now we’re finally alone.

Before Shin fell asleep in bed, he looked at the timeline for the
show’s official Twitter account.

“We’re viewing cherry blossoms today! Announcer Minagawa and a

staff member went to save our spot for us and fell asleep…”

It was still embarrassing; that hadn’t changed, but Tatsuki was right
—it was a good picture. Tatsuki and Shin were asleep unbothered by
the morning sun, nestled under a large amount of flower petals. It
was the dying remains of spring—the petals had lost all of its color
already, all that was left was to dry up and decay, but they were
beautiful. If he were to think of viewing cherry blossoms in the future,
rather than the brightly blooming flowers, he would probably
remember the flowers that had blown off in the night and piled down
on them. It made him happy to think that the same memory resided
in Tatsuki’s irises as well.
Extra 8: Untitled Document

Content Notes
Mentions of physical abuse.

Author’s Note: This is probably not BL, but it probably will continue.

Translator Note: My best guess for the reading of the brother’s name
is Nami, but it’s not a very common name for a man. If I find the
correct reading for it later, I’ll update it.

He probably liked Cutty Sark the best. That was what Homare
thought as he moved his pencil. He wasn’t referring to the taste. At
15 years old, Homare understood nothing about the taste of alcohol
(but he did have a tiny taste of it once in a while, so he couldn’t say
that he didn’t know anything about it). What he liked was the shape
of the bottle. It was slim, and the way that it narrowed from the
shoulders to the neck to the lip was beautiful. He also liked how the
lower portion of the body was curved in a little. Although the smooth
sloping shoulders of Johnnie Walker, the rectangularity of Jack
Daniel’s, the sensual curves of Chivas Regal, or even the distinctive
rectangular bottle with hexagonal patterns1 weren’t bad either—

“Homare.”

There was only one person in the house who never knocked—his
older brother Nami. Nami opened the door as he called his name.

“I knew it. So you were the whiskey thief.”

“I told Mother that I was borrowing it.”

“No one told me. I was looking for it,” Nami said, confiscating the
bottle.

“I’m still drawing it.”

“Uncle Eba wants to drink it. Give it up.”

Nami opened the bottle, poured some into the teacup on the desk,
and downed it.

“Wasn’t there still tea in the cup?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t too bad.”

Was it really? Nami would give any random answer that he felt like,
and his words couldn’t be trusted. Nami picked up Homare’s
sketchbook and started flipping through it.

“Is it that fun to draw these things?”

It was a frank question, so Homare gave a frank answer.

“I draw because it’s fun.”

“Call me over when you sketch nudes.”

“Even of men?”

“Idiot,” his brother laughed. “You should draw things like Andy
Warhol. They look more fun than flowers or bottles, and they seem
simpler too. You could sell them for a fortune to some rich buffoon.”

“For art like that, only the person who thinks of it first gets any glory.”

“But aren’t there plenty of artists who imitate Picasso?”

A technique that had now become orthodox was different from the
imitation of an artist. However, Homare possessed no insight that
would enable him to hold a discussion about the finer points of the
difference, and it wasn’t like Nami was particularly interested in the
topic either. In fact, Homare thought that this brother of his had no
interest in anything in the world. There was a free and easy lightness
to Nami—his heart never dropped anchor anywhere, and this quality
of his made people yearn to capture him. Nami possessed that sort
of mysterious attraction about him.

“Uncle Eba also wanted to see you. Let’s go.”

“But I’m an exam student.”

“What are you saying when you basically doodle all the time? The
Diet’s extraordinary session just closed, and he’s in a good mood.
Humor him a little.”

Homare sighed and headed for the tatami room. Eba was an old
friend of their father’s, and he was almost like a relative to them. It
wasn’t that Homare didn’t like seeing him, but after an extraordinary
session of the Diet with alcohol in his system, all that Eba talked
about was politics. He argued about a bill or the draft budget for the
next fiscal year, complained that something wasn’t enough or was a
stupid waste, or criticized the other members or the secretaries. The
point was that it was boring.

“Hey, Homare, glad that you could come. Here, sit down. How’s
studying for your exams? Going well?”

Eba beckoned him over with a reddened face, and Homare sat down
at the table. His brother teased, “‘Glad that you could come?’ This is
our house, you know,” and Eba yelled, “What’s with that mouth!?
And you still live with your parents!”

Apparently even leaders of the ruling party flinched when Eba yelled
at them on the Diet floor, but Nami grinned at him with a wholly
unbearable smirk. He loved to tease Eba who could lose his temper
at the drop of a hat, and it was clear that Eba was fond of Nami while
he yelled at him for his impudent behavior.

“You’re going to be one brazen politician one of these days,” Eba

said, pouring the Cutty Sark that Homare had been drawing into a
glass with ice. And plenty of it.

“I haven’t decided if I’ll grant you the satisfaction.”

“Grant me the satisfaction? What do you mean ‘grant me the

satisfaction’?”

“If the day comes when I put on that badge and step out onto the red
carpet, you’ll probably cry out of sheer joy.”

“If you announce your candidacy for my party, sure, that could
happen.”

“Not a chance. Why would I join such a powerless little party?” Nami
said easily. “You can’t pass the things that you want to do. You’re
only useful when other parties need you to make up the votes, which
means that you’re nothing but a tool to them. I’d rather go where the
real power is.”

“What are you saying? You’re young. Don’t just try to take the easy
route all the time.” Eba pulled a face. “Powerless little parties are a
necessary part of the system. There aren’t many people who value
the worth of a single yen, but we’d all be troubled without the one
yen coin.”

“Just round it up to the five yen coin.”

“Good grief, you sure have a remark for everything… Kai, what the
hell kind of upbringing did you give them here?”
Their father, who now took the brunt of the attack, smiled wryly. “This
is just how teenagers are. They know no fear.”

But Homare thought that it wasn’t quite right. Fear was likely a circuit
that came disconnected at birth, but it could be learned and
connected. But for his brother, it wasn’t an unknown that could later
be known—it was something in his head that would never exist. That
a person like Nami were to become a politician (which he probably
would, in the future), Homare had no idea if it was a good thing or a
bad thing.

“Homare.”

Nami shook him awake that night at a late hour.

“…What?”

“We have guests.”

“For Father?”

It wasn’t like they never received guests in the middle of the night.

“No, he went out drinking with Uncle Eba. It’s someone who
Grandma knows supposedly.”

“Hnn…”

Homare checked the alarm clock next to his bed, and the glow of the
green phosphorescent hands showed a time around 2:30 am. What
kind of acquaintance were they and what did they come here for at
this time of night? And he didn’t understand why his brother had
come to wake him up for this.
“To be more precise, it’s the daughter of her best friend from her
girls’ school days.”

“Hnn, good night.”

Homare yawned and tried to go back to bed, but Nami tugged the
covers away.

“It’s freezing.”

“Don’t sleep. I’m not done talking here. So that daughter of her
classmate, she ran away from her husband who was in a drunken
rage. And brought their child with her.”

“Child?”

“They’re one year younger than you, so a pretty old one though.”

A pretty old child. The expression made Homare laugh a little.

“A girl?”

Homare thought that maybe Nami wanted to go look at the girl

together, but he was wrong.

“A boy. It’s cold out, and they had him take a bath to calm down, but
he hasn’t come out for about an hour now, and Mother is asking us
to go check on him.”

Because there were no other men in the house, and the child’s
mother was sobbing too much to go.

“You can go check on him yourself.”

“You’re closer in age to him.”

“We’re all about the same.”

If the boy was one year younger than him, that would make him
three years younger than Nami. There wasn’t much of a difference.

“A year is huge when it comes to teenagers. Come on, let’s go.”

Nami was the one to call him for help, but he suddenly disappeared
on the way to the bathroom. He was always fickle like that, and so
Homare continued over on his own and found his mother outside of
the door.

“Oh, Homare. Sorry to wake you up so late.”

“It’s fine… Is he still inside?”

“Yes. It’s dangerous if he falls asleep in there. Please go check on

him.”

“Okay.”

Homare opened the sliding door of the bathroom to enter the

changing area and saw a set of clothes folded neatly in the basket.
He thought that the boy had better manners than him or Nami.
Homare knocked on the frosted glass door to the bathing area and
wondered what he should say before he entered, but for now he
called out, “Good evening.” He hadn’t heard the boy’s name. There
was no answer, so he announced, “I’m opening the door,” and quietly
slid it open. Inside the bathtub that could fit several full-grown adults,
there was a boy sitting there with his back towards Homare hunched
in on himself.

The color there was the first thing that drew Homare’s attention. He
thought that it was a tattoo for a moment. From the bare shoulders
down to the back, he was covered in so many bruises that it was
hard to find a patch of flesh-colored skin. Homare could even see
them where he quivered in the bathwater. They were a painful
yellow, rusty green, gray-blue, and scarlet—a mixture of old and
new. Marks from being hit and kicked on a routine basis. The pretty
old child that Nami had called him had his face buried in his knees
as he muffled his sobs.

“Are you okay?”

He should have left after he saw that the boy was alive, but Homare
called out to him before he realized it. The boy turned around in
surprise and looked at Homare with teary eyes filled with
apprehension and confusion.

“Sorry, it’s obvious that you’re not okay just from looking at you.
Umm…”

What should he do? If Nami were here, he could keep talking without
missing a beat. As Homare stood there in his pajamas with a
cardigan over his shoulders, there was the sound of the door
opening. The boy flinched again in response.

“Nami.”

His brother reappeared, carrying an armful of yuzu fruit.

“How come you have those?”

“I picked them from the yard, obviously.”

Nami sat down on the edge of the tub and dropped the yuzu into the
water, unbothered by the guest who was paralyzed there.

“…Those might make it sting.”

Homare didn’t know if the citrus juice would be bad for the bruises,
but Nami was wholly unconcerned for the body covered in fresh
wounds.

“I’m the one who’s stinging here.” Nami thrust his hands out. “Look.”
There were red dots of blood all over the palms of his hands.

“I didn’t think that yuzu trees had thorns that sharp.”

“What about the work gloves?”

“Too much trouble. It was a spur of the moment thing when I decided
to go out to the yard.”

Nami plunged his bleeding hands into the bathwater. He swirled

them around as he said, “Ow, ow, ow,” before turning to the naked
boy to talk to him.

“Smells nice, right? They were raised as seedlings, so they’re

different from the yuzu that you normally see.”

“Seedlings?”

The boy spoke for the first time in a thin, shaky voice.

“Yeah, they were raised from seeds. Yuzu trees are usually grafted.
But after all this time we can finally harvest the trees that were
planted as a seed when I was born.”

“Weren’t we supposed to leave them for the winter solstice

celebration?”

Oh, crap, Homare thought. The tear-stained face had scrunched up

in distress. The boy was frightened that maybe he had caused some
kind of trouble for them. Even though Nami had been the one who
picked the yuzu without giving it much thought.

“It’s fine.”

Nami picked up one of the fruits and smelled the scent.

“There’s no one who can get angry at me in this house.”

Eba would probably blow his top again if he heard those words. But
it was true. No one could get Nami to listen to them—not their father
nor their grandfather. It wasn’t because he was the oldest or that he
was well-bred. There was no way to describe it except that Nami
was just that kind of person.

“Homare, what was that thing that Grandma always said? The one
about the yuzu.”

“Peaches and chestnuts bear fruit in three years, and persimmons

eight. But yuzus take a foolhardy eighteen?”

“Yeah, that.”

They chanted together, “A wife’s poor harvest lasts 60 years, but the
husband’s is an entire lifetime,” and the boy laughed a little for the
first time.

Nami asked, “What’s your name?” and the boy answered, “I’m Saijou
Ritsu.”

When Homare returned to his room, he opened his sketchbook and

flipped to the page of the unfinished Cutty Sark. He squeezed some
watercolor paint onto a palette, dipped his brush into a single-stem
vase that he used to hold water, and started to fill in the sketch with
color. Instead of the green bottle and the yellow label, he filled it with
random blues, grays, greens and reds—the colors of pain that had
stretched clear and vivid like a distorted flower garden across that
naked back.

Translator Note: FYI, Ushio’s name means ‘tide.’ Homare’s name

means ‘honor.’ Nami’s name means ‘waves.’ The brothers’ father’s
name Kai means ‘sea.’ Ritsu’s name means ‘law.’
Extra 9: You Are Your Natural Colors

“Oh, Kunieda, I have a request for you to do a live report for the
morning talk show. It’s a quick discussion with the hosts for about
two minutes. Are you available next Friday?”

“Where will the live report be?”

“It’ll be in-house. It’s for a special summer event, so it’s an

announcement, some publicity for it, and a thank you to the sponsors
all in one.”

Such a pain in the ass. Aren’t there plenty of idiots with free time
around here for a simple in-house live report? Kei thought. But well,
it would be easy as pie, so Kuneida-san accepted it gracefully with a
“That sounds fine, I’m free.” But that had been a big mistake.

When Kei returned home, Ushio heard him declare, “I’m gonna be
busy for a while.”

“Why?”

“…Because I’m watching Gundam.”

“So you’re just goofing off.”

“No! It’s for work!”

“What? Are you going to pilot one?”

“How can I pilot one!?”

“Well, you know, isn’t there a factory or something for it in

Shizuoka?”

It was a much duller job than a pilot when Ushio heard the
explanation. As part of a summer event at Asahi TV, they would have
vending machines that sold special canned coffee as part of a
collaboration with the Gundam franchise. Apparently Kei was tapped
to do some simple PR for them with a live report.

“And now I shall insert the money into the machine… So then I buy
the coffee, right? It would be fine if it’s just the Gundam, but there’s
like 25 different kinds. What the hell is a Dom? A Guncannon? Then
there’s the Old Zaku, Zaku II, Char Custom Zaku, Z’Gok, Char
Custom Z’Gok— Like seriously? Get a grip.”

“Don’t yell at me about it.”

“And I can’t say something like ‘Oh, it looks like I got one called a
Dom.’ It sounds too disinterested, and it’ll be bad for the sponsor’s
image. And I doubt the presenters in the studio will have anything
good to say to back me up.”

“So it means you have to study up on it? But it’s also kinda weird to
have Announcer Kunieda speak fluent Gundamese.”

“The spot isn’t even that long. I just have to get enough of a general
idea about it so that I don’t look like I know nothing, and then I have
to make a short comment about whatever sounds good.”

“So you’re a fair-weather fan, the type that geeks hate the most.”

“Shut up. I only have a week to learn everything, so stay out of my

way. And I’ll eat at my desk too.”
When Ushio brought over a tray with a late dinner, Kei had his head
on his desk as he complained, “There’s too many of them, ugh!”

My boyfriend is always too amusing.

“What is all this? Is this Tora-san?1 God, I don’t even know where to
begin… Do I need to watch The 08th MS Team too?”

“I have no idea.”

“Aren’t you in the same profession!?”

“Uhh, our fields are kinda different.”

And so for the time being, Kei started to watch the TV series from
the very beginning of the franchise (The First Gundam in other
words?). Although he had the weekend to study up, he still had to do
his regular news checks, and he seemed pretty frazzled with all of
the work. Ushio had to wonder if there was something wrong with his
sense of value and for what things cost. It didn’t make sense to
throw himself into all this work for days on end for a fairly trivial live
report that was at most a few minutes long. It wasn’t like anyone at
work told him to watch the Gundam series for the job. It was
incredible that he thought that this was what would help him get
through life smoothly.

Nacchan had once called him a product of tireless dedication and

hard work. Or maybe that was something that Shitara-san had said
to Nacchan? Once he decided that he wanted something to be a
certain way, he spared no time or effort to achieve it. The thought
suddenly occurred to Ushio that maybe Kunieda-san was something
like Kei’s work of art—an exceptionally brilliant doll born from vanity
and the idea of perfection.
However, a genuine love was what gave it life inside. That was the
promise of art.

Kei had even made timelines and character relationship charts

(complete with their mobile suit units) to help with his studies, and at
long last the Friday of the live report arrived. When Kei returned
home, he looked extremely glum.

“Welcome back.”

“I’m home.”

“I saw your live report.”

“…What are you laughing about!?”

“I mean, you really got the Gundam can from the vending machine.”

As the only person in the world who could guess the complicated
feelings inside Announcer Kunieda’s heart as he held up a can of
coffee with a smile and said, It’s the Gundam, piloted by the main
character Amuro Ray. This is wonderful, Ushio had gotten a great
laugh out of it. With the 1 in 25 chance, Kei had probably thought
that there was no way that he would be so lucky, but as luck would
have it, he got the one mobile suit that nearly everyone was familiar
with. Was it truly lucky or was it not?

“Whatever, it’s fine! Gundam’s pretty interesting anyway!”

“I see, I see.”

Ushio gave a light pat to Kei’s head.

“As long as it’s interesting, then I’m satisfied, even though I was
neglected for a full week.” Ushio smiled at Kei. “Tonight will be the
start of Ushio’s Counterattack arc.”

“You kinda sound like you know enough about it…”

“Ushio, rocketing off~ Oh, wait, you should be the one to say that,
yeah?”

“That’s a completely different meaning!!”

Afterwards, Ushio was the one who started his TV marathon, and
Kei might or might not have been neglected.

Translation Notes

Tora-san refers to the long-running Otoko wa Tsurai yo (It’s Tough

Being a Man) film series. There are about 50 films in the franchise.

Extra 10: High-Pressure Boy

“You got pretty tanned, Minagawa.”

“I went to the beach the other day to celebrate my b-day, and I got all
tanned~ Oh, next year, I’ll remember to invite you and Kunieda-
san~”

“Why the hell am I listed second? And I’m not going anyway!”
“I thought that there was something wrong with the color settings on
my TV when I watched you, but you’re just normally tanned.”

“Haha, yeah, that’s right! The camera operators yelled at me

because they couldn’t get the proper white balance. When I was in a
double shot with Kunieda-san and they used him as a reference
point, my face became the color of bubble tea, but when they used
me, Senpai was so overexposed with white, he looked like he was
emitting light~”

“That’s nice. It’s all god-like.”

“Like your eyes might go blind if you look at him directly~ Ahaha!”

“Ahaha yourself, moron!”

“Shitara-san came over to tell me, ‘Don’t get any tanner than this,
okay?’ I mean, have you ever been criticized for how tanned your
face got?”

“It sounds like something that would happen to you though.”

“Kitarou! You should have kept a watch on his damn face!”

“Huh…?”

“It’s pretty obvious that you were there with him! Slather him with
sunscreen if you have to! With at least SPF 5000!”

“U-Um, does it even go up that high?”

“He’s not even an announcer anymore. He’s a freaking host. If you

thought that hosts were players, he takes the cake. Go to work at
Club Ai tomorrow instead of Asahi TV.”1

“But I’m nothing compared to Matsuzaki Shigeru though?”2

“Don’t bring out the leading authority of the ganguro world. He’s the
color of eel kabayaki.”

“I’ve got pale parts too, you know~ Look, look.”

“Don’t take off your belt. You want me to murder you? What the hell
are you trying to show me!?”

“Awww, it’s just a joke, of course. I won’t show it to you for free~”

“I don’t want to see it even if I get 10 billion yen.”

“Anyway, I think it’s much faster if you match me instead of waiting

for me to get pale again.”

“Why should I compensate for you when you’re the one who roasted
under the sun!?”

“Kunieda-san is basically a shut-in at heart. Maybe we should tan

outside on the roof?”

“Ooooh, that sounds nice~ Let’s get out the deck chairs and have a
barbecue while we’re at it.”

“Hey, ya ain’t supposed to get tanner than ya already are…”

“Hmm, you don’t feel like getting even a little bit tanned?”

“Why should I?”

“Well, you know, it’s pretty sexy when you see the parts that are
tanned next to the parts that aren’t. Like you can only see it when
you take off your clothes.”
“Don’t look at me with those sleazy eyes!!”

“After all this time…? Oh, right, I’m helping Ol’ Nishikido on a shoot
tomorrow.”

“You getting ordered around by that old geezer again?”

“He’s giving me a learning opportunity.”

“Oh, hey, welcome back. Sorry, I just got home myself, so let me
take a shower first. I’m covered in sweat.”

“…Yeah, sure.”

“It’s so hot out even in the middle of the night… Oi, what are you
doing?”

“What?”

“Well, you were looking at me with sleazy eyes.”

“I’m not!!”

“Look, it’s nice, right? This suntan. You want to see more?”

“Oh my god, get away from me!!”

He saw it (in a darkened place).

Extra 11: Untitled Document 2

Translator Note: Part 1 can be read here.

“This place is safe. This is the house of my mother’s friend.”

His mother had pulled his hand along and led him to a beautiful
estate that he had never seen before.

“Do you remember seeing the lady at Grandma’s funeral? She was
kind enough to attend… She gave us the address to her house and
said to come see her if we ever needed help.”

The streets were dark at night, and they followed a wall that seemed
to extend forever, but then he saw that the walls enclosed a house
inside. They went around to the service entrance through the back
gate, and his mother knocked on the door and called out, “Excuse us
for the late night intrusion.” A middle-aged woman appeared before
them, and he only learned later that she was one of the three
housekeepers at the estate. The woman said that she would
announce their arrival to the grand madam of the house, and they
waited there for a while until eventually an elderly lady appeared,
dressed in a kimono that clearly signified her position. With one look,
she widened her eyes and said, “Oh my.” She did look familiar to
him. Because every single one of her gestures—from the neat and
proper mourning dress that had been mismatched with the simple,
well, more like shabby funeral service, her perfectly straight posture,
the lustrous gray hair in a coiffed updo without a single hair out of
place, to the way that she bowed her head, the way that she offered
her condolence gift, and the way that she presented the incense—
had appeared to be prim and precise like she had attended 10,000
funerals before.

Despite the circumstances, Ritsu certainly had concerns whether

they should show up uninvited at the dead of night with just the
clothing on their backs; however, his mother didn’t seem to realize
this as she choked up with tears in an instant and mumbled, “Madam
Wakamiya, I-…” Ritsu was left alone to himself for a while in a
Japanese-style parlor room, but then another woman appeared and
asked if he was cold. She was the wife of the elderly lady’s son, and
she suggested that he warm himself up in the bath. When the chill
from the cold started to dissolve in the warm water along with the
pain that covered his body and the exhaustion from walking for over
an hour, the tension that had built up in his mind relaxed, and the
stiffness that had wrapped up his heart like a thin candy shell peeled
away and turned into tears. The warmth of the bath water awakened
all the misery and bitterness within him, and suddenly he couldn’t
stop. He wished that he didn’t have a heart, that he didn’t feel any
emotions.

As he cried, that was when he first met them—the brothers

Wakamiya Nami and Homare. With just a glimpse, he knew that they
were people who had everything. They both had handsome features,
and from the looks of the sweater that Nami wore and the cardigan
that draped over Homare’s shoulders, Ritsu could see a quiet
luxurious sheen to the smooth fibers that showed no signs of pilling
or fraying. But he felt no jealousy or prejudice against them, he just
squinted his eyes at the dazzling brightness that was very much out
of the ordinary—like gazing at the lights of an amusement park from
a distance far, far away.

“Hmm? Did your dad fly into a rage again?”

It was the late afternoon of one of their countless visits (but they
showed up every time without the common courtesy of one), and
Nami suddenly walked in and asked such a thing. Ritsu’s father had
been in a terrible mood since morning, and it had been his day off
that day. Naturally, everyone in the Wakamiya household was aware
of the situation that Ritsu’s mother was in. When Ritsu imagined how
the news circulated around and what they must have thought about
them, it made him overwhelmingly embarrassed, and he cowered in
on his body as he sat on his knees on the tatami flooring. It was a
daily occurrence that his father would drink and act violently, and at
times when it became dangerously excessive, his mother would flee
to the Wakamiya residence. The grand madam and the madam of
the house never appeared as if they were bothered by it, and every
time it happened, they would kindly stay with his mother until her
tears subsided. This place was nice and safe. They gave them a
place to take a bath, bedding for them to sleep, and warm food to
eat. It was like heaven and earth between this place and his home.
But the bigger the difference between them, the less at ease that
Ritsu felt here. He could only sit motionless in the corner of the
room, holding back his breath more than he ever did at home.
Generally, Nami or Homare would walk in and announce that they
were watching TV or asked if he wanted to read comics. The grand
madam had probably said something to the two of them, but they
never said anything that seemed like they were ordered to entertain
him.

“How many times do you have to come here before you learn how to
use the floor cushions?”

Nami jerked his chin over at the floor cushion that was next to Ritsu.
He probably asked the question with the full understanding that
Ritsu’s indebtedness to the family didn’t allow him to act
presumptuously as an uninvited guest at the house. Nami picked up
the floor cushion and spun it skillfully on the tip of his finger, and then
he threw it over at Ritsu. Although Ritsu had caught it, he couldn’t
bring himself to sit on top of it, and as he fidgeted with the cushion,
folding and unfolding it, he asked, “Is Homare-san not here today?”

“He has his painting class today. He’s painting the usual boring
things.”

The words seemed like an insult, but Ritsu felt no hint of any malice
in them. Nami was always like that. That was why Ritsu never knew
how to react with him, unable to object or agree with the things that
he said.
“Do you need Homare for something?”

“Not really…”

He only asked because he had nothing else to talk about. Ritsu felt a
little—no, he felt very uncomfortable around Nami. Nami shot his
mouth off at everything and was never cowed by anything, and that
behavior of his blinded Ritsu. It wasn’t something that he wanted to
see. And yet he could never guess what Nami was thinking deep
inside that brain of his. Ritsu secretly thought that the name Nami,
like the waves of the ocean, didn’t suit him. He was a beautiful
calmness like a mirror that never turned into waves no matter how
stormy it was around him. But Ritsu couldn’t see anything that
breathed underneath the surface of the water despite how closely he
stared. But he couldn’t possibly jump in to take a closer look. That
kind of courage didn’t exist in him. Ritsu was more comfortable
around Homare, maybe because they were closer in age. And yet
these two brothers got along extremely well with each other. They
didn’t really stick together all that much, but when they were around
each other, they created a special atmosphere between them that
only they understood as if they shared the same breath.

“Okay, let’s go pick up Homare at the station.”

Ritsu just said that he didn’t need him for anything, but Nami made
the executive decision to go, and he promptly left the room. His
strides left no doubt that Ritsu would follow after him.

They went down to the first floor, and when they proceeded to the
hallway that led to the front door, Nami suddenly stopped in his
tracks. He turned to Ritsu and gently raised his index finger. They
could hear the sounds of women’s voices from behind the sliding
doors.

“I feel terrible for Ritsu for all of my shortcomings…”

“It is a very difficult situation. Perhaps someone here could have a
word with your husband?”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t impose on the Representative. And besides, he

really isn’t a bad person. He is always remorseful and cries about it
afterwards… Just why does alcohol have to exist in this world?”

Nami smiled with the index finger hovering in front of his lips. Ritsu
didn’t know what sorts of feelings were behind the smile. Maybe it
was pity. Maybe it was ridicule. He couldn’t perceive its true colors—
like the feathers of a bird or the wings of an insect that changed
colors depending on the angle.

They quietly went out the front door, and as they headed for the
gate, Nami stopped in his tracks again. This time he tugged on the
long-sleeved shirt that Ritsu wore, pulling it out from his pants and
exposing his stomach. It had happened so quickly that Ritsu wasn’t
able to react in time, even though he was used to guarding himself
or dodging the movements from people who reached out for him. As
soon as the marks faded, new ones were made in their place again.
This wasn’t the first time that Nami had seen the bruises where he
had been hit, but still, Ritsu rushed to brush his hand away.

“You’re like a new species of animal with this pattern,” Nami said in a
voice that was too bright, one that didn’t let him feel any cruelty in it.

Ritsu tucked his shirt back into his pants, and somehow he was too
scared to lift his head. Nami didn’t hit or kick him, but Ritsu felt like
he was more frightening than his father.

“Apparently he has enough awareness to avoid hitting your face

when he beats you, but what about your health checkups or your
gym classes? Doesn’t anyone at your school say a thing about it?”

“Not really…”
His classmates and his teachers blatantly looked away from him, or
if they did interact with him, they used an attitude that said that they
saw nothing, to the point that it was unnatural.

“Well, I guess that it’s no surprise. It’s not like my granddad or dad
are able to do anything about a single alcoholic either. Their power
as a member of the Diet has no real importance. Show the member
badge to a dog, and it has no clue what it even means.”

It didn’t seem like Nami was upset about it. His tone of voice was
rather detached and disinterested.

“Do you know what the oldest promise between humans is?”

Ritsu didn’t understand the meaning of the question and shook his
head with his gaze still directed at the ground.

“It’s that they won’t kill each other. Basically, it’s the end of the
species if we destroy ourselves. But well, the string of people who’ll
break it anyway is endless though.”

It was a spring day, and the sun was beginning to set. The chill of the
air was still fresh beneath his shirt. Ritsu looked at Nami’s shadow
that stretched out on the pavement and thought, He has one too.
Nami had a shadow as well; he was a human just like Ritsu. But why
was this person so different from the others?

“What would you do if someone tries to break the promise with you?”

“…I don’t know.”

“Don’t be dumb, it’s so obvious. You break the promise first. Tell me,
why don’t you kill him?”

Ritsu couldn’t believe his ears and looked up. He thought that he
must have misheard him. Nami’s eyes pierced him with the same
question—why don’t you kill him?
“You can’t count on that mother of yours to do it, so you have to do it
yourself. Fortunately, the law against parricide was declared
unconstitutional.”1

“Parricide…?”

“What? You didn’t know? Article 200 of the Criminal Code states that
the murder of one’s lineal ascendants or their spouse’s ascendants
shall be sentenced to the death penalty or life imprisonment. In other
words, it’s a heavy crime to murder a parent.”2

Ritsu shuddered when Nami clearly used the words to murder a

parent. He couldn’t imagine himself murdering his father, but Nami
continued, “It’s easy enough to do if you wait for him to pass out
when he’s drunk.”

It was said in a very light tone of voice, but Nami was probably
serious about it. Nami wasn’t one to lie.

“I can’t,” Ritsu replied in a feeble voice.

“Why not?”

“It’s obvious that I can’t…”

They were talking at cross purposes. Ritsu squinted his eyes without
thinking, and with Nami backlit by the setting sun behind him, he
looked like a darkness that was cut into the shape of a person.

“So you’re just living without any wit, power, or determination. That’s
something that’s far more impossible for me.”

They headed to the train station as they were, and Nami said nothing
more until they ran into Homare on his way home. Nami told
Homare, “Welcome back,” and continued walking past him. Wasn’t
Nami supposed to pick him up?
“Where are you going?”

“Out to have fun. I don’t need dinner, but leave the back door
unlocked for me.”

“Got it.”

When Nami left, Homare very naturally said to Ritsu, “Let’s go

home.” Ritsu was relieved, but he also felt uneasy about Nami’s
figure as he walked away without a glance. Maybe Nami was
disappointed in him because he was weak. But if Ritsu were to face
Nami directly, it scared him that just a single gaze from Nami could
condense the air around them and crush him.

“…Um.”

“Hmm?”

“What color do you think he is? Um, Nami-san, that is.”

“Are you asking if he’s red?”3

“Huh?”

“I guess that you wouldn’t ask something like that. Never mind, it’s
nothing. What color do you see him to be, Ritsu?” Homare asked
with curiosity.

When Ritsu told him about the sense of the feathers or the insect
wings that he felt earlier, Homare smiled at him.

“Oh? That’s something called structural coloration. Like soap

bubbles or laser discs. Depending on the angle, the surface creates
interference with visible light and produces all sorts of colors to the
eye, but it doesn’t have the pigment. Yeah, that seems a lot like
Nami. He might seem like the colors that you see, but he’s not.”
A dark blue slowly descended from the zenith of the sky. Ritsu had
no idea where Nami had gone. He didn’t tell Homare about the
conversation that they had where he asked if he would kill his father.

Translation Notes

This is a real ruling that came out in 1973, so this reference hints
at the time period when this story takes place.
The unconstitutionality of the article means that parricide is treated
the same as regular homicide in Japan.
Red refers to a communist.

Extra 12: Awake or Asleep or Even Half of Each

“Um, Tsuzuki-san, this is for you… Um, today is Valentine’s Day, and
I thought that it would be nice… I looked around at all the Valentine’s
gifts that were on display at the department stores, but I wasn’t sure
what you would like. I just hope that it suits your tastes. Yes, it was
incredible. The stores were crowded with women, and there were so
many options to choose from that it made my head spin. Um, me?
No, I’ve only received them from the production staff or the women
announcers in my department. Well, basically, they’re the so-called
obligation chocolate. Nowadays, Valentine’s is no longer the type of
event where people place their serious feelings into the chocolates
that they give… Um, yes, it’s just something casual… Um? Y-you
want to accept it with more serious feelings? Um, it’s fine as long as
you’re fine with it, Tsuzuki-san… Yes, um, well, like I said—”

“…Owww.”
He woke up to a dull impact to his abdomen. Kei had elbowed him
right in the ribs. Kei was faced up in his sleep, and his peaceful
slumbering face was the very picture of defenselessness. Most likely
he had accidentally hit him when he turned over in his sleep.
Therefore, Kei had done nothing wrong, however…

“Hey, how are you going to make this up to me?”

It had been an incredibly good dream, and he had just gotten to the
incredibly good part, but did Kei have to pick that particular timing
just to interrupt him? But even if he complained, that peaceful face
made no reaction.

“Oiii.”

Ushio propped his elbows on the pillow and lifted himself up a little,
prodding Kei lightly in the cheek. Maybe because Kei gave his facial
muscles a workout during the day, but his cheeks were very soft
even though there was no flab to them.

“Oiii, it’s your fault that you woke me up. Play with me.”

He poked the cheek several times, but there was still no reaction.
How defenseless. Or how careless, rather. Once Kei woke up and
stepped one foot outside of this apartment, he always had his guard
up until he returned home again. That was why it made Ushio happy
and relieved that Kei could abandon everything wholeheartedly in his
sleep like this. However, Ushio was still under the effects from the
dream that made his heart race, and so to him, it felt like there was a
sign in front of him that said, Please feel free to help yourself to
anything you’d like. Well, no, he knew with his head that it wasn’t the
case. More or less.

“…Hey, take responsibility for this a little.”

Ushio softly brushed his lips against Kei’s. They had a completely
different softness from his cheeks, and Ushio never got tired of them
no matter how much he tasted of them. Ushio stroked Kei’s hair as
he pressed soft kisses to his lips over and over again, but Kei
remained sound asleep, and Ushio’s sense of mischief gradually
turned into a serious arousal.

Shit, I was pretty sure that I didn’t have this kind of kink.

“Kei,” Ushio whispered, slipping a hand under the sweatshirt to touch

bare skin. He stroked up from Kei’s waist to his chest. When he
rubbed an aroused little nub with his fingertips and nibbled at the lips
at the same time, Kei let out a soft moan from the back of his throat.

“…Are you awake?”

“Nnh…”

When Ushio teased the nipple harder, the voice became clearer, but
apparently he still wasn’t completely awake. Ushio finally climbed on
top of Kei, rolled up the sweatshirt, and pushed his tongue into Kei’s
mouth. Ushio had a small concern that Kei would bite him in reflex,
but fortunately Kei accepted the invasion despite his half-asleep
state, responding to Ushio’s tongue with movements that were more
sluggish than usual. The awkwardness aroused him.

“Ahh.”

“Kei, want to do it?” Ushio asked.

The playful teasing turned into a heavy caress, and Kei lightly shook
his head with his eyes still closed.

“Nhhh— No…”

“No?”
“No.”

“Why not? Doesn’t it feel good?”

Ushio groped the smooth skin like he owned the body underneath
him and attempted to steer Kei into his trap, but Kei gave a sleepy-
sounding “No” again.

“But I want you to say yes though~”

“But…”

“Hmm? What is it?”

Ushio asked the question with the tips of their noses touching. Kei’s
eyelids quivered slightly as he answered, “But the meat… will be
overcooked…”

“What kind of dream is that supposed to be?”

You sure are a genius at spoiling the mood.

Ushio laughed out loud without thinking, and Kei finally woke up.
With Ushio right before his eyes and the disheveled state of his
clothing, he had a good idea of what Ushio had been doing and
yelled, “What the hell are you doing, you bastard!?”

It had taken quite a bit of time for Kei to boot up, but he sure was
quick after he got up and running.

“Hey, I have a lot of things that I want to say, but I want you to get
one thing straight—this isn’t my fault.”

“Why the hell not!?”

As they ate breakfast together, Ushio told Kei about the dream that
he had, and Kei snorted at him.
“You’re such a sucker,” he mocked. “Seriously? What’s with the
premeditated tricks? The chocolates were carefully researched and
handpicked beforehand, but there has to be a pretend act about how
hard it was to buy them? Gag me.”

“You’re talking about yourself, you know.”

“That’s not me, damn it! And you! Don’t fall for such an obvious little
act! You seem like you’d be suckered into believing that a lukewarm
cup of cafe au lait was hot with some breaths pretending to blow it
cool.”

“Hmm? Why don’t you try it for me then?”

“I said that it’s not me! And hey, not only did you take my meat away
from me, you even attacked me in my sleep! You’re freaking awful,
you damn degenerate!”

Kunieda-san left for work in a rage and shouted, “Go sleep by

yourself in your stupid hammock,” as he went out the door. The
fictitious boyfriend versus the fictitious food—it was a good match-up
between their utter ridiculousness. Ushio LINE’ed Kei with the
message, “I’ll make you a nice steak tonight, so forgive me.”

Should I buy chocolate while I’m out buying the beef? Nah, it’s all the
same color anyway. And when you cut into a steak, it’s all red and
juicy inside, which is much more appealing than chocolate.

The message was marked as read without a reply, but Kei would
probably send a late-night message that said, On my way home
now. So that Ushio wouldn’t get the timing wrong for preparing the
steak. So that it wouldn’t be overcooked.

I’ll make your dream a reality, and after that, it’s my turn.
Extra 13: Sneeze of a Moonlit Night

“Kitarou, you sneezed in the studio today, didn’t you?”

“Oh, I’m very sorry… It was durin’ a commercial though…”

“That’s not the problem here. What the hell is with that sneeze?”

“Huh?”

“Seriously, that ‘achoo’ that you made? That little act of yours has
blown past the limits of connivery. Are you really that invested in that
damn kitten act?”

“U-um, but it’s just normal?”

“Osakans always add a suffix to everything like ‘achoom’ or

‘waachooo yaa dum.’”

“My dad dun even say that!”

“It’s all good though~ It’s cute~”

“Minagawa, just stop while ya ahead, ‘kay?”

“Which reminds me, I’ve never seen Senpai sneeze or yawn ever.
But I did see him have the hiccups before.”

“That’s because everything’s preventable but the hiccups!”

“It’s one thing if we’re on the air, but do you really have to go to such
lengths to hold it in?”
“Leave me alone. It’s my own business what I do.”

“Um, Tsuzuki-san, does he do those things at home?”

“He does, he does. He’s all ‘blehchoom’ and ‘wehhhchooey,’ you

know~”

“I do not!”

“Ahahaha! I wanna see it~!”

“…Oiiii, Kei, don’t sulk. I’m sorry, okay? The moon is nice out, so let’s
watch it together.”

“No way, it’s cold outside.”

“Are you afraid that you’ll sneeze because it’s cold?”

“Shut up, I’ll never sneeze again for the rest of my life.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Close the window, it’s freezing.”

“Come close it yourself.”

“You’re the one who left it open, dammit!”

“Look, it’s a beautiful full moon.”

“Why the hell are you smirking?”

“…Come over here. I’m really happy right now.”

“About what?”

“That I’m the only one who gets to see Kunieda-san’s yawns and
sneezes as much as I want. You turned something ordinary into
something special for me.”

“What are you saying after all this time…?”

“Well there aren’t many boyfriends who just let you monopolize them
like this~ I’m so lucky~ But you belong to the living rooms of the
whole country during the weeknights though.”

“You’re a moron— Ah, ah.”

“Oh, are you about to sneeze? Let’s go inside then.”

And then he sneezed inside their little home so that even the moon
couldn’t see.

Extra 14: Summer Dream

“And next we have the weather. The heat today has continued to be
quite intense, hasn’t it?”

“It sure has. The severity of this heat is due to a sudden high-
pressure system over the Pacific Ocean. Kunieda-san, you reported
outside today in the afternoon earlier. I hope that you were all right in
the heat?”

“Yes, thank you. As for the weather tomorrow…”

“As seen in the illustration here, unfortunately, the intense heat is
expected to continue.”

“I see…”

“Oh, do you have plans to head outside tomorrow?”

“Oh, no. I was just thinking about the illustration in the sketchbook.”

“Huh? O-Oh, does it look poorly drawn? I’m sorry, I don’t have much
of any artistic sense…”

“No, I could care less about that particular issue. What bothers me is
that the sun is drawn so that it’s sweating and feeling the heat. I’ve
seen similar representations of the sun like this, but I find it to be
quite odd, and I want to ask the sun, ‘Why are you exhausted from
the heat?’ Does a puffer fish ever poison itself with its own toxins?”

“Uh, umm…”

“It’s inscrutable to me whenever I see such a thing. I find it to be as

incomprehensible as those signboards for barbecue places with a
cow happily eating meat. I just don’t understand it.”

“Um, please pardon us for the slight digression during the weather
segment just now. Announcer Kunieda appears to have been hit by
the heat despite his cool, composed complexion. Everyone, please
be careful out there! Now let’s change gears and make way for
Sports~!”

“…So that’s how the dream went. Scary, right?”

“Don’t wake me up just to tell me that! It’s 3:30 in the morning! Screw
you.”
“It’d be funny if the dream becomes real.”

“That would make it scary! And it won’t!”

“Hmm, I wonder if it’s because it’s too hot to sleep. Let’s turn on the
air con and drop the temperature a little.”

And if it became chilly in the morning, and they started to feel cold,
they could borrow the body heat that was right there beside them.

Translator Note: This is the last of the extras for now. I’ll update them
as new ones come out, but for now, please look forward to “Color
Bar,” the Yes ka No ka Hanbun ka Guidebook that will come out in
December.