5 Rewrite the following sentences to accommodate a non-native English speaker.

LO5

a. Last year our laboratory made a breakthrough in design that really made our sales skyrocket.

b. You will need to pin down Mr. Wang to get him to tighten up expenses.

c. Recent losses have us on the ropes now, but we expect to get out of the hole by the end of the year.

d. We will kick off the advertising campaign in February, and in April we will bring out the new products.

e. Maryellen gave us a ballpark figure on the project, but I think she is ready to back down from her
estimate.

f. We will pull the plug on any of our products that are flatlining.

g. Mr. Maghrabi managed to straighten up and become our star salesperson.

h. Now that we have cut back on our telemarketing, we will have to build up our radio advertising.

i. If you want to improve sales, you should stay with your prospects until you win them over.

j. We should be able to haul in a savings of 8 or 10 grand.

Using Familiar Words (L02)

Instructions, Sentences 1-20: Assume that your readers are at about the 10th-grade level in education.
Revise these sentences for easy communication to this audience.

1 We must terminate all deficit financing.

2 We must endeavor to correct this problem by expediting delivery.

3 A proportionate tax consumes a determinate apportionment of one's monetary flow.

4 Business has an inordinate influence on governmental operations.

5. It is imperative that consumers be unrestrained in determining their preferences.

6 Mr. Sanchez terminated Kevin's employment as a con- sequence of his ineffectual performance.

7 Our expectations are that there will be increments in commodity value.

8 Can we ascertain the types of customers that have a predisposition to utilize our instant credit offer?

9 The preponderance of the businesspeople we consulted envisions signs of improvement from the
current siege of economic stagnation.

10 If liquidation becomes mandatory, we shall dispose of these assets first.

11 Recent stock acquisitions have accentuated the company's current financial crisis.

12 Mr. Coward will serve as an intermediary in the pending labor-management parley.

14 Requisites for employment by this company have been enhanced.

15 The unanimity of current forecasts is not incontrovertible evidence of an impending business

16 People's propensity to consume is insatiable.

17 The company must desist from its deficit financing immediately.

18 This antiquated merchandising strategy is ineffectual in contemporary business operations.

19 Percentage return on common stockholders' equity averaged 23.1 for the year.

20 The company's retained earnings last year exceeded $2,500,000.

Using Technical Words Appropriately (104)

21 From a scholarly business journal, select a paragraph (at least 150 words long) that would be difficult
for students less advanced in the subject than you. Rewrite the paragraph so that this student can
understand it easily.

Selecting Concrete Words (LOS)

Instructions, Sentences 22-30: Revise these sentences to make them conform to the writing suggestions
discussed in the book.

22 We have found that young men are best for this work

23 She makes good grades. 24 John lost a fortune in Las Vegas.

25 If we don't receive the goods soon, we will cancel

26 Some years ago she made good money. 27 His grade on the aptitude test was not high.

28 Here is a product with very little markup.

29 The cost of the online subscription was reasonable.

30 There is only a little time left on our copier's warranty.

Instructions, Sentences 31-42: Some of the following are correct and some incorrect. Indicate which is
which and correct the problem sentences.

31 We have less than 25 registrants so far.

32 I did not mean to infer that you had made a mistake

33 If you turn in you're report by Friday, you can have Monday off

34 He is not adverse to your suggestion; he simply wants more information.

35 You may have whichever computer you choose.

36 The handbook offers advise on professional behavior.

37 Please except my apologies.

38 It's time to remodel the break room.

39 A complementary breakfast is included. 40 Write in such a way that you elicit the response you want.

41 This car needs its' battery replaced.

42 There is no reason why we should refund their money

Using Proper Idiom (L06)

Instructions, Sentences 43-50: These sentences use faulty idioms Make the changes you think are
necessary.

43 The purchasing officer has gone in search for a substitute product

44 Our office has become independent from the Dallas office.

45 This strike was different than the one in 2000. 46 This letter is equally as bad.

47 She is an authority about mutual funds.

48 When the sale is over with, we will restock.

49 Our truck collided against the wall.

50 We have been in search for a qualified supervisor since August

Instructions, Sentences 51-57: Revise the following sentences to eliminate passive voice.

51 Our action is based on the assumption that the competition will be taken by surprise.

52 It is believed by the typical union member that his or her welfare is not considered to be important by
management.

53 You were directed by your supervisor to complete this assignment by noon.

54 It is believed by the writer that this company policy is Wrong

55 The union was represented by Cecil Chambers.

56 These reports are prepared by the salespeople every Friday

57 If more information is desired, the customer service department can be contacted.

Avoiding Camouflaged Verbs (L07)

Instructions, Sentences 58-68: Revise the following to eliminate camouflaged verbs.

58 It was my duty to make a determination of the damages.

59 Harold made a recommendation that we fire Mr. Schultz

60 We will ask him to bring about a change in his work routine.

61 This new equipment will result in a savings in maintenance.

62 Will you please make an adjustment on this invoice?

63 Implementation of the plan was effected by the crew.

64 Approval of all orders must be made by the chief.

65 A committee performs the function of determining the award winner.

66 Adaptation to the new policy was performed easily by the staff.

67 Verification of the amount is made daily by the auditor.

68 The president tried to effect a reconciliation of the two groups.

Instructions, Sentences 69-80: Change these sentences to avoid discriminatory language. 69 Any worker
who ignores this rule will have his salary reduced.

70 The typical postman rarely makes mistakes in delivering his mail.

71 A good executive plans his daily activities.

72 The committee consisted of a businessman, a banker, and a lady lawyer.

73 A good secretary screens all telephone calls for her boss and arranges his schedule.

74 An efficient salesman organizes his calls and manages his time.

75 Two representatives of our company attended the conference: a Hispanic engineer and one of our
younger managers.

76 Three people applied for the job, including two well-educated black women.

77 These parking spaces are strictly for use by the handicapped.

78 He is one of the best gay designers in the city.

79 We recommend Mr. Sanchez, one of our oldest managers.

80 As a GenXer, she is very computer savvy.

Managing Sentence Content LO2, LO3, LO4 Instructions, and Sentences 1-7: Break up these sentences
into shorter, more readable sentences. You may need to reorganize and reword some of the content.

1 Records were set Wednesday by both the New York Stock Exchange Composite Index, which closed at
8,001.40 up 27.08 points, topping its previous high of 7,986,50, and Standard & Poor's 500 Index, which
finished at 1,264.03, up 6 90. moving up significantly and also setting a five-day high.

2 Reserving this property requires a $500 security de- posit, which will be refunded unless there is damage
to the property or evidence that there has been smoking in the cottage or a pet on the premises or if the
reservation is canceled within one month prior to the rental period.
3 The Consumer Education Committee is assigned the duties of keeping informed of the qualities of all
consumer goods and services, especially of their strengths and shortcomings, of gathering all pertinent
information on dealers' sales practices, with emphasis on practices involving honest and reasonable
fairness, and of publicizing any of the information collected that may be helpful in educating the
consumer.

4 The upswing in business activity in 2012 is expected to continue and possibly accelerate in 2013, and
gross domestic product should rise by $542 billion, representing a 4 percent increase, which is significantly
higher than the modest I percent increase of 2011.

5 As you will not get this part of Medicare automatically, even if you are covered by Social Security, you
must sign up for it and pay $88.50 per month, which the government will match if you want your
physician's bills to be covered.

6 Given our discussion yesterday. I have decided, that you may choose either to take the final exam or to
have the paper for which you received your highest grade count as an additional 15 percent of your course
grade, but you must let me know in writing by May 15 which option you prefer.

7. Although we have not definitely determined the causes for the decline in sales volume for the month,
we know that during this period construction on the street adjacent to the store severely limited traffic
flow and that because of resignations in the advertising department promotion efforts dropped well
below normal.

8 Instructions: Assume that you are the assistant manager of a hotel and are describing your hotel's
meeting room to a prospective customer who is thinking of holding a seminar there. Turn the following
pieces of information into coherent writing, inserting paragraph breaks where you think appropriate. Be
ready to explain why you grouped the information and man- aged the emphasis the way you did. You may
need to add some words or information to make the facts flow smoothly LO3, LO4, LOS

We have a meeting room.

It will be available on the date you requested. It can seat 100 people.

The seating can be arranged to your specifications

It is quiet.

It is on the ground floor.

It is not near the guest rooms.

The lounge is at the opposite end of the hotel from the meeting room.

The meeting room has a lectern.

It has a projector.

It has a screen.

It has a laptop hookup and Wi-Fi.

We can rent additional equipment.

We can rent it at no charge to you

The charge for the room is $300.

This is the charge for one day.

Making Sentences Economical LO2

Instructions. Sentences 9-36: Revise the following sentences for more economical wording.

9 In view of the fact that we financed the experiment, we were entitled to some of the profit.

10 We should see the prime lending rate increase in the near future.

11 I will talk to him with regard to the new policy.

12 The candidates who were the wealthiest won the election.

13 There are many obligations that we must meet.

14 We purchased gloves that are lined with wool 15 Mary is of the conviction that service has improved.

16 Sales can be detected to have improved over last year.

17 It is essential that we take the actions that are necessary to correct the problem.

18 The chairperson is engaged in the activities of preparing the program.

19 Martin is engaged in the process of revising the application.

20 You should study all new innovations in your field. 21 In all probability, we are likely to suffer a loss this
quarter.

22 The job requires a minimum of at least three years of experience.

23 In spite of the fact that they hadn't paid their previous bill, they placed another order.

24 We expect to deliver the goods in the event that we receive the money.
25 In accordance with their plans, company officials sold the machinery.

26 This policy exists for the purpose of preventing dishonesty.

27 The salespeople who were the most successful received the best rewards

28 The reader will note that this area ranks in the top 5 percent in per capita income.

29 Our new coats are made of a fabric that is wrinkle-resistant.

30 Our office is charged with the task of counting supplies not used in production.

31 Losses caused by the strike exceeded the amount of $640,000. 32 This condition can be assumed to be
critical.

33 Our goal is to effect a change concerning the overtime pay rate.

34 Mr. Wilson replaced the old antiquated machinery with new machinery.

35 We must keep this confidential information from being shared with others.

36 The consensus of opinion of this group is that Wellington was wrong

Wording Sentences Logically LO4

Instructions, Sentences 37-58: Revise the following to eliminate illogical and awkward wording.

37 Because the Swift Company has a service-oriented culture is the reason it supports all forms of
volunteerism.

38 On the night of your party, we experienced a rare occurrence with our seafood supplier canceling at
the last minute.

39 Our staff is among the best as we strive for the highest level of customer service.

40 Thank you for your feedback that will help us continue to improve.

41 The meeting room you have reserved has a projector Internet access, and will enable your attendees
to hear the trainer easily.

42 As a five-star hotel, our guests' satisfaction is our top priority. 43 Upon review of the facts, the problem
was a short in the wiring.

44 This streamlined process will save us so much money 45 Depending on how you make your request
will deter mine how the reader will respond.

46 On behalf of the management team, I appreciate your extra work on the project.

47 We need to know how many will attend, and please indicate their choice of entree.
48 During tomorrow's staff meeting we will discuss our progress on the new ad campaign and how well
the installation of the new software is going.

49 As far as phone call monitoring, I believe we should try other methods first.

50 Through our research of three local charities we feel that each would make a good one for our company
to sponsor.

51 Each department will now be able to update your section of the website.

52 It is such a worthy cause, but I fear this nonprofit's website will not attract many donations.

53 After reviewing the organization's bylaws, I found that they need to be revised and updated.

54 This is an important message, but by placing it in a long paragraph, it is unlikely that many people will
read it.

55 As a 501(c)(3) organization, donations are tax deductible.

56 The main reason his report was late was because his email account was hacked yesterday.

57 After talking to our user testers, it is clear that we need to revise the device.

58 You can volunteer to help with publicity, setup, clean or you can bring refreshments clean

Managing Paragraph Focus LO5

Instructions, Paragraphs 59-63: Write a topic sentence as needed for each of the following, and reword
any of the other sentences to create a smooth, clear paragraph. Be ready to defend your placement of
the topic sentence.

59 Jennifer has a good knowledge of office procedures. She works hard. She has performed her job well.
She is pleasant most of the time, but she has a bad temper, which has led to many personal problems
with the work group. I cannot recommend her for promotion. I approve a 5 percent raise for her.

60 Last year our sales increased 7 percent in California and 9 percent in Arizona. Nevada had the highest
increase, with 14 percent. All states in the western region enjoyed increases. Oregon recorded only a 2
percent gain. Sales in Washington increased 3 percent.

61 I majored in marketing at Darden University and received a B.S. degree in 2009. Among the marketing
courses I took were marketing strategy, promotion.
Using a Conversational Style (LO2)

Instructions. Sentences 1-10: Rewrite in conversational style.

1 I hereby acknowledge receipt of your July 7 letter.

2 Please be so kind as to reply at your earliest possible convenience.

3 Attached please find the receipt requested in your May 1st inquiry.

4 You are hereby advised to endorse the enclosed proposal and return same to the undersigned.

5 This is to advise that henceforth all invoices will be submitted in duplicate.

6 Kindly be advised that this book has been requested by another patron and will therefore be due on 10
May 2012.

7 In reply to your letter of July 13, permission to quote from our report is hereby granted.

8 Please be advised that, with regard to above invoice, a payment of $312 has been credited to your
account.

9 I am submitting under separate cover the report you requested.

10 Kindly advise the director as to your availability for participation in the program.

Using the You-Viewpoint (L03)

Instructions, Sentences 11-25: Rewrite the following using your viewpoint. You may need to add
additional material

11 Company policy requires that you submit the warranty agreement within two weeks of sale.

12 We will be pleased to deliver your order by the 12th.

13 We have worked for 37 years to build the best lawn mowers for our customers.

14 Today we are shipping the goods you ordered February 3

15 (From an application letter) I have seven years of successful experience selling office supplies.

16 (From an email to employees) We take pleasure in announcing that, effective today, the Company will
give a 20 percent discount on all purchases made by employees.

17 We are happy to report approval of your application for membership.

18 Items desired should be checked on the enclosed order form.

19 Our long experience in the book business has enabled us to provide the best customer service possible.
20 So that we can sell at discount prices, we cannot permit returns of sale merchandise.

21 We invite you to buy from the enclosed catalog.

22 Tony's Red Beans have an exciting spicy taste.

23 We give a 2 percent discount when payment is made within 10 days.

24 I am pleased to inform you that I can grant your re-request for payment of travel expenses.

25 We cannot permit you to attend classes on company time unless the course is related to your work
assignment.

Accentuating the Positive (L04)

Instructions, Sentences 26-40: Underscore all negative words in these sentences. Then rewrite the
sentences for a more positive effect. Use your imagination to envision the situation for each.

26 Your misunderstanding of our January 7 email caused you to make this mistake.

27 We hope this delay has not inconvenienced you. If you will be patient, we will get the order to you as
soon as our supply is replenished.

28 We regret that we must call your attention to our policy of prohibiting refunds for merchandise
bought at a discount.

29 Your negligence in this matter caused the damage to the equipment.

30 You cannot visit the plant except on Saturdays.

31 We were disappointed to learn from your July 7 email that you are having trouble with our Model 7
motor.

32 Tuff-Boy work clothing is not made from cloth that shrinks or fades.

33 Our Stone-skin material is less weak than the fabric used by other brands.

34 Even though you were late in paying the bill, we still allowed the discount.

35 We were sorry to learn of the disappointing service you have had from our sales force, but we feel we
have corrected all mistakes with recent personnel changes.

36 We have received your complaint of the 7th in which you 'claim that our product was defective and
have thoroughly investigated the matter.

37 I regret the necessity of calling your attention to our letter of May 1.

38 We have received your undated letter, which you sent to the wrong office.

39 I regret to have to say that I will be unable to speak at your conference, as I have a prior commitment.

40 Do not walk on the grass.