Love and sex.

Day
3
How to
COMMUNICATE
WITH OTHERS
communicate with
others: to be successful in
Techniques
social and work relationships

Leil Lowndes

Summary

What is that magical quality that makes some people instantly loved and respected?
Everyone wants to be your friend (or, if they're single, your lover!) In business, they
quickly rise to the top of the corporate ladder. What is your “Midas Touch?”

It all comes down to a more skillful way of dealing with people.

Leil Lowndes has dedicated her career to teaching people how to communicate for
success. In her book, Lowndes offers 92 easy and effective fireproof techniques — she
takes the reader from the first meeting all the way to developing sophisticated
techniques used by high achievers.

1. How to fascinate everyone without saying a word

First impressions have amazing potential. The first impression you create is a brilliant
holography. It is burned into the other person's eyes and remains in their memory
forever. Therefore, it is important that you make the right impression, and you only have
10 seconds to do it.

Your body communicates before your lips move, your entire essence has been
transported to the brain of the person you know before you utter your first word.
The exact moment two humans set their eyes on each other has amazing potential.

• How to make your smile magically different

Use the flashing smile technique: Don't flash a quick smile when you're exchanging
pleasantries with someone, as if someone else might block your line of sight and be the
beneficiary instead. Rather, look at the person's face for a second. Immerse yourself in
their person before giving them a big, warm smile that fills and overtakes their eyes. This
technique will envelop your acquaintance like a warm wave. This split-second delay will
convince people that your smile is genuine, and that it's just for them.

A big, sweet smile is an asset, but it can be more impactful when it slows down, in this
way, it projects more sincerity, credibility, and is personalized for who it is intended for.

• How to appear smart and insightful to everyone using your eyes

The “eye glue” technique involves pretending that your eyes are glued to your partner
like slimy candy while they chat with you. Don't break eye contact during their
conversation, and if you must, do so reluctantly, slowly stretching the sticky candy until
you break the small string that binds it.

One study found that subjects reported feelings of affection and respect for colleagues
who courted their blinking eyes during a conversation.

How to make someone fall in love with you using your eyes

By using the “resin eyes” technique, you can make anyone fall in love with you. This is a
technique with a powerful blow. To use it, make your eyes stick to your target no matter
who is speaking, keep looking at them, in a way this says "I only have eyes for you" or "I
can't take my eyes off you."

Make your eyes only on your listener, your target, not on the speaker. Remain extremely
interested in their reactions.

• How to win people's hearts by responding to their inner child

You can win anyone's heart by using the “big boy shift” technique. The moment you
have introduced yourself, reward your new acquaintance with a warm smile, a full body
turn, undivided attention, he might look like a little child who crawled to your feet, turn
your acquaintance in front of you and offer him a big smile. Turn 100% toward your new
acquaintance and say, “I think you are very, very special.”

2. How to know the right word to say after "Hello"

The more intelligent the individual is, the more disinterested he is in small talk.

• How to start a great small talk

Before saying a word, take a “voice sample” of your potential listener and detect their
mood. Like a “mental snapshot,” it determines whether your facial expression looks
intense, dull, or radiant. If you want someone to agree with your thoughts, you need to
match your mood to their tone of voice before you start making small talk. This is the
technique of making “good timing.”

Before you say a word, do a mood sync to know their mood.

Small talk is not a discussion of facts, it's about making people feel comfortable. You
need to know the mood of your counterpart. To be an outstanding communicator, tune
into your counterpart's tone and duplicate it.

This is frequently observed in nursing mothers to appease their baby, she does not snap
her fingers and shout “shut up!”; No, she picks up her baby and makes a gesture of
crying “Ooh, ooh, oh,” sympathetically, trying to match her baby's misery for a few
seconds. After which mom and baby will change to happy sounds. He treats his listeners
like big babies.

• How to Sound Like You Have a Super Personality (No Matter What You Say)

This involves using the “Prosaic with passion” technique. Are you worried that your first
words will come out wrong? Do not be! About 80% of your listener's impression of you in
the first place is not from your words. Almost anything you say in the first instance is
fine. The text doesn't matter, what matters is a positive demeanor, an empathetic frame
of mind, and passionate delivery — you need to sound exciting.

Your first words are fine, so far, everyone feels comfortable and sounds passionate. You
can do this by convincing your listeners that they are okay, and that you share that in
common.

• How to make someone want to start a conversation with you

By using “Always Wear A Whatzit,” it becomes easier for a stranger to find you in a room
full of people. When you go out, carry or wear something unusual, this way strangers will
find an excuse to approach you. A scenario might go like this: “Sorry, I couldn't help but
notice your… What is that?” With your “what is it” and business cards you have all the
necessary socialization tools.

• How to meet the person you want to meet

The “what is it” technique is the most effective, but the worst used to meet people (for
non-politicians). All you need to do is ask the party host to introduce you or simply
introduce one or two facts and turn them into icebreakers.

• How to get into a tight crowd

Oh, don't you have a host for the “whatever”? No problem, use the “Eavesdropping
Technique.” Simply sneak behind the group of people you want to infiltrate and
eavesdrop. Wait for an excuse, and jump right into the conversation with “Excuse me, I
couldn't help but overhear…”.

3. How to talk like a VIP

According to studies, about 85 percent of an individual's success is attributed to their

communication skills.

• How to Find Out What a Group is Doing (Without Even Asking!)

To find out what a group is doing without asking questions, you should adopt the “What
Do You Do” technique. A compelling sign that you are part of a group is the absence of
this question: "What do you do?" Of course, you will have to determine that “what you
do”, but not with those ugly words that label you as a climber, a ruthless net hunter, a
wife hunter or a gold digger.

Communication skills account for 85% of an individual's success. Big cats never ask
“What are you doing?”, they find a more subtle way to find out without asking directly. By
not asking this question, you seem principled, even spiritual.
A more refined way to ask is: “How do you spend most of your time?”

• How to know what to say when asked "What do you do?"

You can answer this question using The Nutshell Resume technique. Take a cue from
how senior job seekers who tailor their resumes uniquely for each position they apply for
tell a unique story about your professional life to each listener. Before answering the
question "What do you do?", try to identify the particular interest the person might have
in the answer. "Could it be a business concern? Hire me? Buy me something? Become
my friend? Marry my sister?"

Wherever you go, tell your own story in a unique way to everyone who asks.

Roberto, a friend of the author, was out of work, he applied for two positions; one, as a
sales manager in an ice cream company, and another as head of strategic planning in a
fast food chain. After extensive research, he discovered that the ice cream company
was struggling with sales, and that the food chain company had international expansion
aspirations.

Did you send the same resume to both companies? No! His resume captured his
education and work experiences, and never strayed from the truth. However, in the
resume he sent to the ice cream company, he included his experience doubling the
sales of a small business in three years. In the resume sent to the food chain company,
he highlighted his experience working in Europe and other foreign markets.

Both companies offered him a job, so he decided to pit them against each other.
Roberto went to each one explaining that he wanted to work for the company, but that
he had a better offer and a higher salary offered by another company. As a result, the
two companies started a bidding war, eventually choosing the food chain company as it
almost doubled the starting salary they offered him.
Always ask yourself how your professional experience could benefit the other person.
When you meet a loved one or potential friend, make your life seem fun to the other
person.

• How to appear smarter than you are

To appear smarter than you are, use the “Your Personal Thesaurus technique.” Think of
some of your common words and look them up in the thesaurus. Just as you would put
on a new pair of shoes, add some new words to your everyday vocabulary to see how
they fit. If they sound great, start making replacements.

Keep in mind that the creative vocabulary of a wealthy individual and an average
individual differs by only fifty words. Replace some of your common words for two
months and you will be in the verbal elite.

Consider commonly overused words like “good,” “nice,” “nice,” or “smart,” grab a
thesaurus, and start replacing them.

4. How to be an expert in a crowd

Have you ever been in a meeting and everyone seems to be talking nonsense?
Everyone is talking about the library market, code restrictions, or financial audits that
turn up problems, and you have no idea what it all means. That's because everyone at
the party is an editor, an architect, an accountant, or a coder, and you're not.

So, you are in the meeting with a pasty smile on your face, you are afraid to utter a
word, so as not to appear ignorant. So you are a neophyte and you suffer in silence. So
how do you overcome this challenge?

• How to Be a Modern Renaissance Woman or Man

You can get an advantage by using the “Scramble Therapy” technique. Participate each
month in an activity you've never done before, do something you never dreamed of
doing — shake up your life. Visit an exhibition, participate in a sport, listen to a lecture
on a new topic. You'll get 80 percent of the right jargon and the right internal questions
from experiences.
Participate every month in an activity you've never done before, do something you never
dreamed of doing – shake up your life.

• How to sound like you know about a hobby or job

Professionals speak slang as a second language. Jargon is the language of other

professions. Why do you need to talk about it? Jargon makes you sound like a
connoisseur. And how can you learn it? You won't find a tape on slang in the language
section of your bookstore; however, it is a simple slang to learn. Simply ask a slang-
speaking friend to teach you some starter questions. It's jargon with very few words, but
the rewards are multiple. This is the "Learn a Little Jargon" technique.

How to show your hot topics button

Use the “Show Your Hot Topics Button” technique before blindly jumping into a group of
dentists or a group of bookbinders. Discover the hot topics in their fields, each field has
hot topics that are foreign to the outside world. Ask your informant to tell you about
industry rumors. When it's time to warm up the conversation, press those buttons.

Before you jump to a bunch of bookbinders, discover the hot topics in their fields and hit
that button.

• How to secretly learn about their lives

This can be done using “Read Your Rags” techniques. Is your next client a skier, surfer,
swimmer, runner or golfer? Or are you attending a social function full of Zen Buddhists,
accountants, or something similar? Various monthly magazines can help you discover
information that will make you sound like an insider, all by reading the rags that serve
their fuss.

• How to talk when you are in other countries

“Custom clear” techniques recommend that before you go to foreign soil, you get a book
containing the do's and don'ts of that part of the world. Before you praise someone's
possessions, make gestures, give a gift, or shake their hand, check out the book of do's
and don'ts. One mistake could ruin your performance.
5. How to sound like two drops of water

If you strain your eyes hard enough at a flight of birds, you will see swallows flying with
swallows, finches flying with finches, and yellow birds flying with yellow birds. Avian
apartheid intensifies.

You will never see a yellow bird hanging with a yellow finch or even a barn swallow with
another swallow. In short: birds of a feather always fly together.

Fortunately, humans are smarter than birds, we have brains capable of putting aside
prejudices. The brilliant ones break bread together and play together. But this does not
mean a high level of comfort; On the contrary, it depends on the human being. However,
this book is not about the absurdity of apartheid, but about ensuring that people feel
comfortable doing business or enjoyment with you.

People are more receptive to those who feel they have the same values in life.

• How to make them feel that you are of the same "class"

Observe people closely, observe the way they move. Big movements? Small
movements? Slow? Fast? Old? Young? Low quality? Classy?

Imagine that you are watching a dance instructor explaining some things to you. Is she a
dancer? Is he a jazz booster? Observe their movement style. By doing so, you will make
your partner feel comfortable with you. This is the “Be a Copyclass technique.”

• How to make them feel like you are part of the "family"

Echo is a powerful linguistic technique that packs a powerful punch. Look carefully at the
speaker's choice of adjectives, prepositions, verbs, and nouns — and echo them.
Hearing these words (which are theirs) will make them feel that you share their
experiences, interests, attitudes and values.

Use their words, not yours.

How to make it clear to them : Does your acquaintance have a garden? Conjure up
a conversation about “sowing the seeds of success.” Or do you have a boat? It
introduces a concept that “holding water” or “staying afloat.” If there is a pilot, bring up a
concept that has to do with “getting off the ground”; if she loves to play tennis, tell her
she hit the “sweet spots.” This is the “Powerful Imagination” technique.
Evoke your listener's lifestyle or interests, weaving vivid images around them. To make
your words have more power, use terminologies from your listener's world, this will be a
great help to show your partner that you share their interests and thus make them like
you.

• How to empathize — without just saying "yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah"

Are you a person who says “aha” unconsciously? Don't be! Use the “Use breading”
technique. Vocalize complete sentences to show empathy and understanding: phrases
like "I see what you mean" embellished with something like "that's a lovely thing." This
increases your empathy towards your listener and encourages them to continue the
conversation.

6. How to Differentiate Between the Power of Praise and the Folly of Flattery

Studies have shown that hearing compliments from a new person is more powerful than
hearing them from someone you already know.

Compliments have more credibility when they are directed at an attractive person whose
face you have never seen.

You will be taken seriously if you begin your comments with some modest comment, but
this is only when your listener perceives you as someone who has higher status in life. If
you are lower than the other person, this will reduce your credibility.

Compliments are a dangerous weapon, if mishandled they can destroy the relationship.
• How to Congratulate Someone (Without Sounding Like You're Badmouthing)

Use the “Glory Vine” technique, nothing is more exciting than the compliments you hear.
The best way to do this is not by telegraph or telephone, but to tell a friend. This way you
will escape the suspicion that you are a sycophant who sucks cock and licks asses
trying to score points. Plus, you'll leave the recipient with a happy fantasy, they'll enjoy
the feeling of knowing the world knows their greatness.

• How to be a carrier of good feelings

People often metamorphose into a dove that has a beak and becomes the bearer of bad
news when there is any; That's gossip. Don't be this person! Whenever you hear
something good about the other person, compliment them. You may not like it, but
everyone loves the dove that offers kind thoughts and good news.

• How to make them feel like your admiration "just slipped away"

From time to time, insert some comments into the conversation that say something
positive about the person you are talking to.

But be careful, don't screw it up like the well-meaning maintenance man. Or a Southern
guy at the prom, who thought he was flattering his date by saying, “God, for a fat girl you
dance really well.” This is the technique of “Implicit Magnificence.”

Every once in a while, say something positive about the person you're talking to.

• How to win people's hearts by being a "covert compliant"

To become a covert complimenter, you need to add praise in the parenthetical part of
your sentence with covert. But don't try to ask him about your topic of interest later,
because accidental flattery triggers a joyful jolt that makes your listener temporarily deaf
to anything you say next. This is the technique of “accidental flattery.”

• How to make them never forget you with a "killer compliment"

By using the “Killer Praise” technique, you can quickly make your listener never forget
you. During the conversation, look for a unique, specific, attractive quality that you have,
and at the end of the conversation, look him directly in the eyes, say his name, and end
with the killer compliment.

It would be a definite compliment like “What exquisite eyes you have” or a personal “You
have a wonderful air of honesty.”

7. How to dial directly to their hearts

Hundreds, maybe thousands of people, just have an impression of you through that little
device on your desk, kitchen wall, or nightstand. They haven't actually met you. They
have not seen you smile, frown and never enjoyed your hugs.

They've never had the chance to read your body language or know how you dress, their
entire perception of you has come through tiny filaments from thousands of miles away.
They feel like they know you by the sound of your voice. That's how powerful the phone
is, but it's not exact.

The telephone is a powerful tool, but it is not always accurate.

• How to sound exciting on the phone

Use the “talking gestures” technique. See yourself as the star of a radio drama every
time you have a call. If you want to be perceived as interesting, turn your smiles and
nods into noise and gestures into what your listener can hear. Replace your gestures
with words, then increase the entire act by 30%!

• How to sound like you're nearby even if you're hundreds of miles away

People tend to pay more attention when they hear their name. Use it more often when
talking on the phone than in person to keep them involved. Calling your listeners by
name recreates the eye contact you might have in person. Saying someone's name
repeatedly face to face will sound complacent, but on the phone, there is a physical
distance that can be miles away, so spread your conversation with them. This is the
“name shower” technique.

People pay more attention when they hear your name.

• How to make them happy for calling you

Use the “Oh wow, that's you!” technique. when answering the phone and not "I'm so
happy all the time." Your calls should receive a professional, clear and friendly response.
After identifying who is speaking, break out a big smile that will wrap around your face
and into your voice. This way, the caller feels like that giant fuzzy smile is reserved just
for them.

• How to sneak past the goalkeeper

Use the “sneak control” technique to sneak past the goalkeeper. If your calls are
screened by your team, let them respond cheerfully at first, saying, “Oh, yeah, I'll put you
through to him. “Can I tell you who is calling?” On the other hand, if the caller has
identified themselves: “Oh, of course, Miss Sanchez, I'll pass it on to you.” When your
secretary arrives with the bad news that you are not available right now, she won't take it
personally and will never feel segregated.

• How to get what you want from big guys over the phone

Whenever you need to call someone's home, say hello and identify yourself to the
person who answers. When you visit someone's office two or more times, befriend the
secretary. If she is close enough to answer the phone, you are in a good position to
influence the VIP's opinion of you.

8. How to Work a Party Like a Smart Politician

To the question of “Who will come?” made by the host of the party on the guest list, a
politician will write down the names of those he is interested in and will try to get to know
each one of them.
The big cat arrives early to begin hitting targets as each guest arrives. Most of the time,
VIPs arrive early to do business before the party guests, who by the way don't like to be
first at a party. Once they've met one, they're on their way to the next.

• How to Avoid the Common Party Mistake

The “eating or mingling” technique (Munching or Mingling Technique). Politicians want to
be close to their voters. Like big winners who are well versed in the science of spatial
relations and the science of proxemics, they are aware that any object except a belt
buckle can block a brick wall between two people. For this reason, they never eat or
drink at a party. You can come to eat or to socialize, but don't do both. Be a good
politician, eat before coming to the party.

At a party, you should only come to eat or socialize, don't do both.

How to make an unforgettable entrance Use the “Rubberneck the Room

technique”. When you arrive at a meeting, stop dramatically at the door, slowly survey
the situation, moving your eyes from side to side like a CIA team ready at a moment's
notice to pounce on anything that moves.
While you're at the door, don't stand and strike a "look at me" pose. You're not scanning
the room to show off, it's so you can fully diagnose the situation you're in. Take note of
the bar, the lighting and, most importantly, the faces. Watch the murmur of the crowd,
listen to the music and the clinking of glasses.

• How to meet the people you really want to meet

To achieve this, use the “Be the chooser, not the chosen” technique. The love of your
life, your lifelong friend, or your business contact who will make a significant contribution
to your future may not be at the party. But someday it will be, so make every party a
rehearsal for that great day. Don't wait until the day comes, make it happen by exploring
all the faces in the room, change that waiting for the "ships to pass at night" and move to
"capture whoever you want in your life."

9. How to break everyone's treacherous glass ceiling

Has your partner or colleagues ever made a silly or insensitive mistake? How often do
you write someone off for some stupid move? That person may not know what they are
doing and may not know that they are bothering you. You've probably never been told
about the subtleties you're about to read about in the final chapter of this summary.

How to win people's affection by overlooking their mistakes

A great communicator will allow loved ones, acquaintances, associates, and friends the
pleasurable myth of being above embarrassing biological functions and blunders. They
simply don't realize their missteps and slip-ups. They ignore the associated signs of
human frailty in their partners. Like a big winner, don't stand slack-jawed at the mistakes
of others. As a general rule, don't remind people of times when they aren't shining. This
is the “Don't see the mistakes, don't listen to them” technique.

Don't remind people of the times when they aren't shining.

• How to win people's hearts when they stutter

Using the “lend a helping tongue” technique, you can win the heart of anyone even if
their mouth is trembling. Whenever your listener's story is interrupted, let the interruption
play out. Give him time to compose himself.

When it's sorted, simply ask "please go back to your story." Or remember where you
stopped and then ask “What happened after the…… (and complete the last words)?”

• How to let them know "what's in it" for them

Whenever you ask for a favor or a meeting, disclose the particular benefits. Let the other
person know how you will benefit and how they can benefit. If a hidden agenda comes to
light later, you may be labeled a cunning fox. This is the “Unearth the 'what's in it for
me?'” technique. and 'what do you gain?'” (Bare the Buried WIIFM and WIIFY
technique).

Whenever you ask for a favor or a meeting, let the other person know how you will
benefit and how he or she can benefit.

How to make people want to do you favors To get someone to do you a favor, use
the “Let them taste the favor” technique. Whenever your friend accepts a favor, let him
enjoy your charity before making him the paymaster. How long should you wait? At least
twenty-four hours.
• How to ask and get favors

Using the “today for you, tomorrow for me” technique, you can obtain the favor you want
from anyone. Do someone a favor, it becomes obvious that they owe you one, wait a
while before asking to "pay." Let him enjoy the fact (or fiction) that his gesture was out of
friendship. Don't quickly turn the apparent "today for you" into a "tomorrow for me."

Conclusion

If you understand human nature and its habits, it will be easy to hone your
communication skills and improve your relationships. Always make a good first
impression, communicate positive body language, assume non-threatening postures,
and prepare appropriately for meetings. The techniques in this book will help you feel
confident and comfortable making new friends quickly.
Try this
Before starting a conversation, take a voice sample from the potential listener and
determine their mental state.

Determines the expression on your face, whether intense, dull or radiant. If you want him
to relate to your thoughts, match your mood to his tone of voice before starting the
conversation.