Behavioural and Interpersonal Skills

BBA IV Semester
Unit 4 Notes

Amit Kumar Bhanja

Assistant Professor,
School of Management Sciences,
Varanasi.
Transactional Analysis

Transactional Analysis theory was developed by Dr Eric Berne in the 1950s. The Blame Model
was developed by Jim Davis TSTA. The OK Corral model was developed by Franklin Ernst.
The 2011 Transactional Analysis OK Modes Model and diagram is © Mountain Associates,
2010-13. Please retain this notice on all copies.

Transactional Analysis - modern usage - Introduction

Transactional Analysis is a theory developed by Dr. Eric Berne in the 1950s. Originally trained
in psychoanalysis, Berne wanted a theory which could be understood and available to everyone
and began to develop what came to be called Transactional Analysis (TA). Transactional
Analysis is a social psychology and a method to improve communication. The theory outlines
how we have developed and treat ourselves, how we relate and communicate with others, and
offers suggestions and interventions which will enable us to change and grow.

Transactional Analysis is underpinned by the philosophy that:

• people can change
• we all have a right to be in the world and be accepted

Initially criticised by some as a simplistic model, Transactional Analysis is now gathering

worldwide attention. It originally suffered much from the popularised writings in the 1960s.
Also, summarised explanations, such as this, which can only touch on some of the concepts in
Transactional Analysis, led their readers to believe that there was very little to it. Theoretical
concepts within the Transactional Analysis world are constantly being challenged and
developed making it a rich dynamic process. Berne died in July 1970 at the age of 60. However,
Transactional Analysis has not stood still and continues to develop and change, paralleling the
processes we encourage in ourselves and others.

Transactional Analysis - contracting

Transactional Analysis is a contractual approach. A contract is "an explicit bilateral
commitment to a well-defined course of action" Berne E. (1966).

Which means that all parties need to agree:

• why they want to do something
 • with whom
• what they are going to do
• by when
• any fees, payment or exchanges there will be

For example, we want the outside of our house painted, we need to find a person who will paint
it and who will give us a quote for doing it. If we agree the quote, and we like him or her
enough, we will no doubt employ them. We will agree a date and time, perhaps check they are
insured, and choose the colour of the paint and off they go. Sometimes contracts will be multi-
handed with all parties to the contract having their own expectations. If these expectations are
all congruent then fine, if not then discussing everyone's expectations will lead to greater
understanding and therefore to a clear contract. Contracts need to be outlined in positive words
i.e. what is wanted, rather than what is not wanted. Our minds tend to focus on the negative
and so this encourages failure. For example, how many times do we look round when someone
says to us "Don't look now but......." , the same is true when we set up contracts which start "I
don't want to do .............. anymore".

We have contracts about employment, how much will we be paid and when, what holidays we
are due, what deductions there will be etc. In order to ensure placements are effective then
different, but similar, details are required. Naturally, these details will vary dependent on the
setting in which we work. All parties need to state what are they are prepared to do. Are they
able and willing to undertake what is being asked, is this appropriate? Does it fit within any
statements of purpose and function? Is it legal? Do they have the competence to deliver this?
Do they want to? What does each party want of the others? In summary contracts need to be:
measurable, manageable and motivational. Measurable means that the goals need to be
tangible. That each party involved in the contract will be able to say in advance how they will
know when the goal has been achieved. The goal will be specific and behavioural and clearly
defined. The contract will also need to be manageable and feasible for all those concerned.
'Contracting' in Transactional Analysis, and indeed many other aspects of TA, provide a helpful
way to understand the psychological contract in employment and similar organizational
relationships.
Transactional Analysis - ego states
Transactional Analysis first order structural model Berne devised the concept of ego states to
help explain how we are made up, and how we relate to others. These are drawn as three stacked
circles and they are one of the building blocks of Transactional Analysis. They categorise the
ways we think, feel and behave and are called Parent, Adult, and Child. Each ego state is given
a capital letter to denote the difference between actual parents, adults and children.

Parent ego state

This is a set of feelings, thinking and behaviour that we have copied from our parents and
significant others. As we grow up we take in ideas, beliefs, feelings and behaviours from our
parents and caretakers. If we live in an extended family, then there are more people to learn
and take in from. When we do this, it is called introjecting and it is just as if we take in the
whole of the care giver. For example, we may notice that we are saying things just as our father,
mother, grandmother may have done, even though, consciously, we don't want to. We do this
as we have lived with this person so long that we automatically reproduce certain things that
were said to us, or treat others as we might have been treated.

Adult ego state

The Adult ego state is about direct responses to the here and now. We deal with things that are
going on today in ways that are not unhealthily influenced by our past. The Adult ego state is
about being spontaneous and aware with the capacity for intimacy. When in our Adult we are
able to see people as they are, rather than what we project onto them. We ask for information
rather than stay scared and rather than make assumptions. Taking the best from the past and
using it appropriately in the present is an integration of the positive aspects of both our Parent
and Child ego states. So this can be called the Integrating Adult. Integrating means that we are
constantly updating ourselves through our everyday experiences and using this to inform us.
In this structural model, the Integrating Adult ego state circle is placed in the middle to show
how it needs to orchestrate between the Parent and the Child ego states. For example, the
internal Parent ego state may beat up on the internal Child, saying "You are no good, look at
what you did wrong again, you are useless". The Child may then respond with "I am no good,
look how useless I am, I never get anything right". Many people hardly hear this kind of internal
dialogue as it goes on so much they might just believe life is this way. An effective Integrating
Adult ego state can intervene between the Parent and Child ego states. This might be done by
stating that this kind of parenting is not helpful and asking if it is prepared to learn another way.
Alternatively, the Integrating Adult ego state can just stop any negative dialogue and decide to
develop another positive Parent ego state perhaps taken in from other people they have met
over the years.

Child ego state

The Child ego state is a set of behaviours, thoughts and feelings which are replayed from our
own childhood. Perhaps the boss calls us into his or her office, we may immediately get a
churning in our stomach and wonder what we have done wrong. If this were explored we might
remember the time the head teacher called us in to tell us off. Of course, not everything in the
Child ego state is negative. We might go into someone's house and smell a lovely smell and
remember our grandmother's house when we were little, and all the same warm feelings we
had at six year's of age may come flooding back. Both the Parent and Child ego states are
constantly being updated. For example, we may meet someone who gives us the permission
we needed as a child, and did not get, to be fun and joyous. We may well use that person in our
imagination when we are stressed to counteract our old ways of thinking that we must work
longer and longer hours to keep up with everything. We might ask ourselves "I wonder what
X would say now". Then on hearing the new permissions to relax and take some time out, do
just that and then return to the work renewed and ready for the challenge. Subsequently, rather
than beating up on ourselves for what we did or did not do, what tends to happen is we
automatically start to give ourselves new permissions and take care of ourselves. Alternatively,
we might have had a traumatic experience yesterday which goes into the Child ego state as an
archaic memory that hampers our growth. Positive experiences will also go into the Child ego
state as archaic memories. The positive experiences can then be drawn on to remind us that
positive things do happen. The process of analysing personality in terms of ego states is called
structural analysis. It is important to remember that ego states do not have an existence of their
own, they are concepts to enable understanding. Therefore, it is important to say "I want some
fun" rather than "My Child wants some fun". We may be in our Child ego state when we say
this, but saying "I" reminds us to take responsibility for our actions.
Transactional Analysis - life positions
Life positions are basic beliefs about self and others, which are used to justify decisions and
behaviour. When we are conceived we are hopefully at peace, waiting to emerge into the world
once we have grown sufficiently to be able to survive in the outside of the womb. If nothing
untoward happens we will emerge contented and relaxed. In this case we are likely to perceive
the world from the perspective of I am OK and You are OK. However, perhaps our mother had
some traumatic experiences, or the birth was difficult or even life threatening. This experience
is likely to have an effect on the way we experience the world, even at the somatic level. In
which case we might emerge sensing that life is scary and might, for example, go into "I am
not OK and You are not OK either". Let's take it that the pregnancy went fine, and the birth
was easy enough. What then? Well life experiences might reinforce our initial somatic level
life position, or contradict it. If we were treated punitively, talked down to, and not held, we
may begin to believe "I am not OK and You are OK". This might be the only sense we can
make of our experiences. Let's take another situation. Perhaps we were picked on and bullied
as a child. We learnt that the way to get by was to bully others and that way we felt stronger
and in control. Our behaviour then comes into the I am OK and You are not OK quadrant. Of
course this may cover up our belief that we are really not OK, but nobody sees that. They just
see our behaviour, and in fact we may have forgotten all about our negative feelings about
ourselves as we have tried so hard to deny the pain of believing we are not OK. These life
positions are perceptions of the world. The reality is I just am and you just are, therefore how
I view myself and others are just that "views" not fact. However, we tend to act as if they are a
fact. Just like when somebody says "I can't do this, I'm useless". Rather than "I don't know how
to do this. Will you show me?" The latter is staying with the fact that they do not yet know how
to do it, whilst the former links being useless with not being able to do something.

The OK Corral (Franklin Ernst, 1971)

Franklin Ernst drew the life positions in quadrants, which he called the OK Corral (1971). We
have put these into red and green to show the effective and ineffective quadrants for
communication and healthy relationships.

Berne talked about the life positions as existential positions, one of which we are more likely
to go to under stress. This is significantly different to the concept Ernst uses, i.e. that we move
around them all during the day. Whilst there is some truth in this we could agree with Berne
that there will be one major position we go into under stress, with perhaps another position
underneath this one. These positions can change as we develop and grow. The difference
between Berne and Ernst is important.
Interactional language

According to Brown and Yule (1983:1) state that the interactional involved in expressing social
relation and personal attitudes. In daily life, people tend to use the interactional to make their
relationship friendlier. Furthermore, McCharty (1991:136) state that interactional talk will
having a function like oil of the social wheels, establishing roles and relationship with another
person prior to transactional talk, confirming and consolidating relationships, expressing
solidarity, and soon. Discourse in interaction also as a way of discovering how social reality is
constructed. It is just useful as useful to talk about the discourse analysis of interactions as it is
to talk about the interactional analysis of discourse.

Features of interactions:

• Create social interaction

• Focus on participants and their social needs

• Interactive, requiring two-way participation

• May be casual or formal

• Reflects speakers’ identity

Examples:

• Greetings

• Small talk and chit chat

• Recounting recent experiences

• Compliments

Transactional language

According to Brown and Yule (1983:1) state that transactional is language that is used serve in
the expression of content. The people common rarely use the transactional view because the
relationship is more important rather than the message itself. Furthermore, McCharty
(1991:136) explains that transactional talk is for getting business done in the world, i.e. in order
to produce some change in the situation that pertains. It can be to tell somebody something to
know, to effect somebody to buy something, to get someone to do something, or many other
world- changing things. Carter, R. & McCarthy (1997:17) state that interactional language is
language for maintaining social relationships, transactional language is message-oriented.
“Transactional uses of language are those in which language is being used primarily for
communicating information.” (Richards 1990:54). Accurate and coherent communication of
the message, confirmation that it has been understood, explicitness and directness of meaning
are essential. Transactional exchanges are interactions which have an outcome, for example,
buying something in a shop, enrolling in a school. In such contexts the range of language used
is relatively limited and therefore reasonably predictable.

Features of transactional:

• Giving or obtaining information, or getting goods and services

• Focus on message

• Making oneself understood completely • Grammatical accuracy may not be a priority

• Communication strategies
• Information oriented: – asking for directions – describing how to use something – sharing
opinions and ideas – discussing plans

• Goods and services oriented: – focus on achieving a goal or service – checking into a hotel

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence can be defined ability to comprehend own’s emotions and others’
emotions and use them in the right way to guide one’s actions and thinking.

• This term was coined by two researchers- John Mayer, and Peter Salovey in 1990. However,
it got popular in 1996 from Dan Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter
More Than IQ’.

• John Mayer and Peter Salovey defined Emotional Intelligence as “ The ability to monitor
one's and others’ emotions, to differentiate between different emotions, and label them
appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide behavior and thinking.

• This definition of Emotional Intelligence was also adopted by Goleman and further
categorized into Managing emotions, self-awareness, Empathy, Handling relationships, and
motivating oneself.

• Emotional Intelligence is one of the types of intelligence needed for success in various kinds
of situations.

• Those who are aware of emotions for themselves and others and regulate accordingly can be
tagged as emotionally intelligent. History of Emotional Intelligence In the 1920s, Edward
Thorndike describes the concept of “Social Intelligence”, and it was the ability to get along
with other people.

• However, in 1985, Wayne Payne introduces the term “ Emotional Intelligence” for the first
time in their doctoral thesis ‘A Study of Emotion: Developing Emotional Intelligence. • In
1987, in an article published in Mensa Magazine, Keith Beasley used the term “ Emotional
Quotient”.

• In 1990, John Mayer and Peter Salovey published their landmark article “Emotion
Intelligence”.
Concepts of Emotional Intelligence

The four elements of Emotional Intelligence as given by Daniel Goleman are as follows:

• Self-Awareness: it is the skill of being aware of one’s emotions as they occur. It is also the
ability to keep impulses and negative emotions under control.

• Empathy: it is an ability to see things from the point of view of others.

• Self-Regulation: it is about controlling one’s emotions, instead of a quick reaction. One must
control their emotions before responding.

• Internal Motivation: it talks about one’s drive to improve and achieve commitment to one’s
initiative, goals, and developing skills to attain targets, and taking the right steps to act on
opportunities.

• Social Skills: it is about balancing the wants and needs of others with ones by applying
empathy. It is about building a good rapport with other people.

Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

The benefits of Emotional Intelligence are given below.

• It helps to solve problems by using both feelings and logic.

• Emotional Intelligence allows being more flexible in changing situations.

• It keeps positive and optimistic

• Emotional Intelligence helps to express one’s needs

• It expresses compassion, caring, and empathy for others.

• Emotional Intelligence improves communication and interactions with others.

• EI also helps to respond thoughtfully and calmly to difficult people.

How to Improve Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence can be developed in the following ways:

• By self-evaluating oneself, an individual can be aware of reactions and emotions in different

situations,
• By observing other people, one can be able to understand others’ feelings.

• By improving one’s expression, one will be able to communicate in a better way.

• By analyzing the impact of one’s action over others, one will be able to fine-tune the actions.
• Improvement of listening ability also helps to build Emotional Intelligence.

Utility of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is a great tool for accomplishing goals, but it can be used for
manipulating others as well.

• Those who master their Emotional Intelligence can be better manipulators. When you hone
your won emotions, you can disguise your true feelings. When you understand what others
feeling, you can notice them acting against their best interest.

• Emotional Intelligence must be used carefully when and where it matters the most.

• Leaders can take bad advantage of their Emotional Intelligence and rob us of our capacities.
• For example, Mahatma Gandhiji’s speeches motivated so many Indians to fight for freedom,
on the other hand, Hitler’s speeches played with Germans' emotions. Importance of Emotional
Intelligence in Civil Services Emotional Intelligence can be used in governance and
administration for better decision-making and emotional management.

• It can improve organizational relations among the employees.

• An emotionally Intelligent civil servant can motivate his/her subordinates to achieve a

particular goal.

• Emotional Intelligence helps in stress management.

• It leads to better decision-making by not letting emotions influential to the final result.

• Emotional Intelligence also helps to recruit qualified staff who are better at managing their
emotions.

• Emotional Intelligence prevents conflict of interest. Maintain political equality irrespective

of personal ideology.

• Emotionally Intelligent civil servants are able to communicate in a better way.