NOVEMBER 2023 `100

7 SLEEP
DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

I Survived!

SECRETS
PAGE 48

MIND
Conquer the
Monday Blues
FROM AROUND PAGE 22

THE WORLD HOW TO

Get Along
PAGE 32
With Anyone
PAGE 76

BONUS READ
Iceland’s
Splendid
Solitude
PAGE 84
 Reader ’s Digest

CONTENTS

inspiration how to
Yasmeen Lari’s Get Along with Anyone
Change of Heart Whether you get
cover story The former ‘starchitect’ cornered by a chatter-
7 GLOBAL SLEEP TIPS now rebuilds villages box or embarrassed by
devastated by disasters. a jokester, you can turn
Tips that could be your
by lisa murphy things in your favour.
key to a good night’s rest.
by rosemary counter
by vanessa milne
HOW I TRIED TO animals and us
STOP SNORING The Company of Cats bonus read
My quest for a quick
A look into how Splendid Isolation
fix to a noisy problem.
by jordan foisy domesticated felines A visit to an island of
have woven themselves primal landscapes and
into our art, literature, enigmas—and a sense
drama in real life language and history. that you are never alone.
PHOTO: ©GETTY IMAGES

by b. n. goswamy by douglas kennedy

I Survived!
Three stories of people
who faced death and
lived to tell the tale.
as told to lisa fitterman

cover illustration
by Hayden Maynard readersdigest.in 3
 quotable quotes health
Departments 47 Jeet Thayil, 22 Soothe the
8 Over to You Claudia Goldin, Sunday Scaries
Mitch Hedberg by leslie finlay
a world of good and More

(top) illustration by sam island; (bottom) YASINGUNEYSU/GETTY IMAGES

11 Look Down! news from the
it happens world of medicine
everyday heroes only in india 26 When Obesity Is
12 Lending a Well- 106 A Stainless Genetic, Diagno-
Trained Hand Steal, A Power sing Parkinson’s
by eric raskin Snap Back, Sooner and More
and Top of by samantha rideout
smile the Class
14 The Triumph by naorem anuja 13 things
of the Book 28 Illuminating Facts
by richard glover trusted friend About Fireworks
116 Safe Harbour by by samantha rideout
good news Julia Breckenreid
16 Fixes for Food
Waste, Hope for Better Living
Those with a Rare life lessons
Disease and More 18 A History of You
by robert liwanag by karen stiller

4 november 2023
 Reader ’s Digest

Humour
31
Humour in Uniform
46
All in a Day's Work
58
Life’s Like That
98
Laughter,
The Best Medicine

(top) imagespace/alamy stock photo; (box) silver screen collection/getty images

Culturescape review: kaala paani
108 Troubled Waters
rd recommends by aditya mani jha
102 Films, Watchlist,
and Books Brain Games
studio 110 Brain Teasers
105 Christopher Taylor's 112 Sudoku
The Bellwether 113 Word Power
by soumitra das 115 Trivia

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6 november 2023
 A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

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readersdigest.in 7
 can make anyone
OVER TO of any age enjoy life

YOU
more! This allows me
to keep the advancing
Notes on the old-age at a comfort-
September issue able distance.
Dr N. Gopalakrish-
nan, Coimbatore

THE DEADLY SWAMP Just in Case

“It’s just a little pain; you aren’t even going to remember Being a seafarer, I
it once it’s gone.” These words by Merda filled me with have completed sev-
awe and forced me to pause and reflect. Our lives are eral first-aid courses,
plagued with attachments, and it can be to anything: ranging from the ele-
wealth, health, good events, or even bad ones. And these mentary level to pro-
attachments can become a hindrance in our lives. But in fessional medicare.
the case of Merda, he was not attached to his pain, he I believe everyone
didn’t sit grumbling about it. Instead his detachment al- should acquire first-
lowed him to endure and fight pain, hunger and thirst aid skills. Emergen-
for three days, and come out alive of the deadly swamp. cies often occur
Burnett’s wonderful story allowed me to reflect upon when they are least
my own attitude and taught me a lesson for life. expected. Therefore,
Brian Macwan, Mumbai preparation is a must.
Brian Macwan wins this month’s ‘Write & Win’ prize of `1,000. —EDs I keep a first-aid kit at
home as well as in my
It’s Worth Waiting For car. Owning a well-
I believe anticipation is half the joy of achievement. stocked kit allows us
Doing everyday things that give instant pleasure to extend help in road
are a must for all! Thoughts of my early morning, accidents at remote
freshly-brewed coffee helps me gett a good night’s locations, or provide
sleep. Come morning, I have my cuppa and prepare aid to neighbours.
one for my spouse. I am part of a WhatsApp group Vikramjit Singh,
for puzzles and the anticipation of solving them Amritsar
pumps up my adrenaline every morning. In many
ways, anticipation can become a tool for planning. All About
Even a short trip to Ooty (where I lived for 35 years) Extreme Weather
is exciting for me. I love the planning involved, and Caitlin Stall-Paquet’s
really look forward to the wayside stop for bajiya article was fascina-
(fritters) at a familiar haunt! Embracing anticipation ting. With the deva-

8 november 2023
Reader ’s Digest

stating march of cli- Globally, we need before the deadline

mate change it is cru- more climate action and has made me
cial for all of us to be through rigorous green vigilant and alert. This
better informed. Sadly, activities. Serious mea- has greatly enhanced
as with all calamities, sures must be taken to my analytical ability
the brunt of the devas- nurture forest areas, and helps me face dif-
tating extreme weather protecting the global ferent situations. Truly,
events—happening green ecosystems. generative anxiety has
with ever increasing The international proved to be a boon
intensity and fre- community must work in my life: a powerful
quency—is borne to utilize money and weapon in my arsenal.
by the world’s poor. To technological advances Smith Tuscano,
that extent, the oft-re- to fight the impacts of Mumbai
peated saying that cli- climate change apart
mate change does not from strengthening For Sale: My Catalog
differentiate between agricultural activities. of Dad Jokes
the rich and the poor P. Senthil Saravana This brought back
is not entirely correct. Durai, Mumbai memories of my late
Richer nations respon- father, whose happy-
sible for accelerating The Upside of Anxiety go-lucky personality
climate change due to I was moved by the ar- was highlighted by his
their excesses owe it ticle’s resemblance to penchant to crack jokes.
to humanity to help my life. I am an anxious From my childhood
the poorer ones! person, but through the to my 50th birthday, the
Krishan Kalra, years my attitude to- time around which he
Gurugram wards the feeling of passed away, he often
anxiety has changed. repeated the same ‘Dad
Floating Life Earlier in my life, I jokes’, but these never
It is disturbing to note considered anxiety as failed to regale me and
that climate change a destructive force and other listeners for he’d
and its impacts have it indeed turned out to aced their delivery.
been playing havoc be so. It hampered my Arvind Arya, Mumbai
with agriculture and growth. However, as I
global economic slowly started experi-
growth. Extensive cli- encing the generative Write in at editor.india@
mate change action is side of anxiety, it has rd.com. The best letters
discuss RD articles, offer
the need of the hour. been very uplifting and criticism, share ideas.
The younger genera- productive. It helps me Do include your phone
tion must get involved. get my work done well number and postal address.

10 november 2023
 Reader ’s Digest

A World of

GOOD
Reasons to Smile

Look Down!
apan is home to iconic landmarks such as the ancient temples of Kyoto and
the neon-lit skyscrapers of Tokyo. But what’s underfoot also wows: Since the
1980s, Japan has taken a creative approach to beautifying its manhole covers.
Roughly 6,000 of these metal plates also serve as canvases depicting cultural sym-
bols and events and the regions in which they’re found. British-Australian pho-
tographer Remo Camerota, who documented them for his book Drainspotting, g
says, “Finding them is the best part. It feels like a treasure hunt.”
NIRADJ/SHUTTERSTOCK

readersdigest.in 11
 like a police pursuit. A balding man of
EVERYDAY HEROES medium build, dressed in camouflage
shorts, a black T-shirt and work boots,
was running from a police officer at

Lending a an intersection in San Antonio, Texas.

Gonzales slowed down. So did the

Well-Trained man being chased—to avoid running

into Gonzales’s minivan. That hesi-

Hand tation allowed the muscular officer

to catch up and take the suspect to
the ground.
A martial artist who has a Gonzales, now 37, quickly realized
troubled history with cops that the officer did not have control
stops to save one of the situation. “The officer was
straddling him and the suspect was,
what we call in the gym, rocking the
BY Eric Raskin boat—rocking him back and forth,” he
recalled. The man appeared a threat,

W
hen mark Anthony Gon- about to tip the police officer over and
zales saw a police officer assume a position of control.
in need of assistance, every “That was my cue,” Gonzales said.
element of the moral code instilled Gonzales put his vehicle in park
in him through his Brazilian jiu-jitsu and jumped out, as did Ortiz, her
training—morality, courage, benev- phone trained on the two men on
olence—told him to stop his car and the ground. The first thing Gonzales
lend a hand. Even though he was out did was identify himself and spell out
on bond following an arrest three his intention to make it two-on-one
months earlier for possession of a in Officer Nathaniel Linville’s favour
firearm, a charge that he had disputed and not the other way around. Then,
and that would later be dropped. Even with the man on his back and Linville
though he was on his way to work struggling to control the man’s upper
and had his wife, Rachel Ortiz, his body, Gonzales put his weight on the
four kids, ages 6 and under, and three man’s legs. The suspect, 44-year-old
other extended family members in the Jack Evans, who was wanted for un-
car. He saw an officer struggling with a authorized use of a vehicle, managed
suspect and knew what he had to do. to roll to his right, onto his stomach.
As Gonzales was driving to open up With the suspect’s left arm behind
the martial-arts gym where he trains his back, Linville tried to handcuff
and volunteers, he saw what looked him. But the officer’s positioning,

12
2 november 2023 photograph by Jeff Wilson
 Reader ’s Digest

to resist, to wriggle. Gonza-

les used techniques he’d
learnt in the gym: digging
his knee into Evans’s el-
bow, pulling the suspect’s
head toward him to main-
tain control from a position
on the side, while Linville
continued to straddle
Evans’s hips. Linville got Ev-
v
ans’s right wrist in the cuffs,
but the wanted man buried
his left arm under his body,
out of reach. So Gonzales
applied an underhook—a
jiu-jitsu move where the
hands are placed under the
opponent’s arm to control
Mark Anthony the shoulder and upper
Gonzales’s body—and tugged until,
training came after a few seconds, Evans’s
in handy while shoulder gave out. And just
defending a like that, Linville clicked on
police officer.
the second handcuff and
the threat was over.
But for Gonzales, the ride
perpendicular to Evans, his chest was just beginning. He’d asked his wife
pressed against Evans’s right rib to record everything to protect him, as
cage, left him vulnerable. More pre- an ex-convict, just in case anything
cisely, it left his gun, holstered on was called into question. But Ortiz
his right hip, vulnerable, inches from posted the video on Facebook, where it
the suspect’s nose. attracted over 56 million views.
Evans quickly reached and got Among those awed by the video
his right hand on the gun. In an in- was Brazilian jiu-jitsu instructor Rener
stant, Gonzales dug his fingers under Gracie, a fourth-degree black belt, who
Evans’s fingers and pried them away, stated: “The combination of Gonzales’s
and the firearm was released. technique and his calm communica-
The scuffle wasn’t over, though. tion with both the officer and suspect
Evans, on his stomach again, continued is the stuff of legends!”

reade r sdigest.in
readersdigest.in
reader 13
 SMILE

THE TRIUMPH
ease of navigation” was superior when
using a traditional book.

OF THE BOOK
I love the way we now judge printed
books using the language of the digital
world. E-books may come with a ‘suite
of navigational tools’, but it turns out
that the best navigational devices are
By Richard Glover your forefinger and thumb. You can use
them to flip the pages forward and
the printed book k is back. Recent stu- backward. To think, all this time, those
dies have shown that students retain devices have just been just sitting there,
more information when they read a dangling at the ends of your arms.
hard-copy book compared to reading Fans of digital books may point out
on a digital device. that e-readers have a handy ‘search’
One school near where I live in tool. Old-fashioned books also have a
Australia responded to these findings search function, in which you turn
by ditching its e-readers. The students back to the opening chapter to remind
found, according to a teacher, that “the yourself of the hero’s surname. They

14
4 november 2023 illustration by Sam Island
 Reader ’s Digest

even have a ‘bookmark system’, which paper volumes, but one must question
uses a device called a ‘bookmark’. whether this is really an advantage. In
Can a traditional book offer all the secondary school my physique was
features of an e-book? Alas, no. It lacks transformed by the daily need to carry
a ‘progress bar’ indicating what per- science textbooks. For me and my fellow
centage of the book has been read. students, placing these weighty tomes
Luckily, a ‘hack’ is available: Turn your in our backpacks would draw our shoul-
book so that it can be viewed from the ders back and our chests forward in a
side or top. It will naturally form two way that turned the school into the
halves joined in the middle (‘the spine’). equivalent of a military parade ground.
If the left-hand chunk is thicker than The printed book, of course, has other
the right-hand one, you are more than advantages. A full bookshelf is at once a
halfway through. sound baffle and a store of knowledge.
And any properly thumbed book will
A LARGE, WELL- always fall open at the sexiest scene.
Tidying guru Marie Kondo has said
STOCKED BOOKSHELF that she keeps about 30 books at any one
IS MORE MEANINGFUL. time. Those who follow Kondo’s exam-
IT’S A MAP OF YOUR ple may have a less cluttered home, but
a large, well-stocked bookshelf is more
LIFE AS A READER. meaningful. It’s a map of your life as a
reader: the passions that passed and
those that endured. There are books
Fans of the e-book point out that that introduced you to other books, like
digital text is easy to annotate. Some friends at a party, and books that nursed
devices even feature a little image of a you through difficult times.
pencil to guide the reader through the Also, the smell of old books in a
process. Traditional-book users have a second-hand bookshop is instantly
similar system called a ‘pencil’. With it, evocative. Yes, it’s a mix of mould and old
favoured passages can be underlined paper, but to me it represents possibility.
and, if it’s a history book, pretentious Spend an hour browsing, and you’ll be
comments can be written in the mar- sure to stumble across an out-of-print
gin, such as “Not so, according to The book you thought you’d never find.
Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.” Educational fads come and go, so
Thus annotated, such books can be maybe the shift back to traditional
left around for others to peruse, con- books won’t last. But for the moment,
vincing family members, or prospective I find myself standing at attention, fle-
lovers, of your intellectual perspicacity. xing my textbook-built shoulders and
Admittedly, e-books are lighter than saluting their glorious return.

readersdigest.in 15
 from around the world

BY Robert Liwanag

Cans
for Cars
founder
Sam Tucker.

FIXING CARS FOR THOSE IN NEED

COMMUNITY Collecting enough empty replacement parts before donating it to
drink cans to buy a car may sound a non-profit supporting women in crisis.
impossible, but the residents of Moolo- So far, Cans for Cars has bought, repaired
olah Valley in Queensland, Australia, and donated 18 cars.
know it isn’t. Since 2018, the non-profit At first, Tucker drove around the
Cans for Cars has been fixing up neighbourhood in search of people in
used vehicles and donating them to need of a car. Soon, people began send-
those in need—using only recyclables ing tips for candidates, including a
to raise funds. family who lost their home to flooding
Knowing that drink cans can be recy- in 2022. “I supplied this young mother
cled for 10 cents apiece, 41-year-old with a car, which helped her get a job
mechanic and Cans for Cars founder and her kids to get to school,” he says.
Sam Tucker began collecting them from Tucker plans to build a workshop to
matthew abbott

locals. It took 40,000 cans and 18 months serve as headquarters. “It is really having
to buy the first car, a 2001 Ford Fiesta. an impact at the ground level,” he says.
Tucker paid around $260 (`21,647) for it “That’s why I believe Cans for Cars has
and spent a further $1,100 (`91,587) on had the success that it has.”

16
6 november 2023
 Reader ’s Digest

Hope for Patients with have equipped cameras with AI

a Rare Disease that can identify humans. When a
poacher is detected, the system
HEALTH Doctors in the UK’s National takes photos and alerts nearby rangers.
Health Service (NHS) saved a two-year- The cameras have been in use in Gabon
old girl in February 2023 with a new since 2021. Hack the Planet hopes
drug that uses the patient’s own stem they can eventually be used to protect
cells. Teddi Shaw became the UK’s first wildlife in conservation projects
recipient of Libmeldy, one of the around the world.
world’s most expensive drugs—and
there are plans to increase access to Savvy Fixes for Food Waste
it in the UK.
Shaw has metachromatic leukodys- INNOVATION Each year, a third of
trophy (MLD), a rare and deadly heredi- all food around the world—roughly
tary disease that damages the nervous 1.3 billion tonnes—goes to waste.
system and causes loss of hearing, Rebread, a start-up in Krakow, Poland,
memory and motor skills. Libmeldy, the wants to alleviate that. When
only approved gene therapy for MLD, they found themselves with many
costs more than $4 million per infusion. unsold loaves in their artisanal bakery
Earlier this year, the drug’s manufac- during the early days of the pandemic,
turer struck a deal with the NHS to offer founders Katarzyna Młynarczyk
it to UK patients at a major discount and Bartłomiej Rak used a traditional
(details weren’t released). Plans are distillation process to turn the stale
underway to make the drug more bread into a unique alcoholic spirit
affordable in the Nordtic region, too. they call Okowita, now sold in stores
across Poland.
Using AI to Protect Animals Along with local scientists, Rebread is
testing more ways to put stale bread to
TECHNOLOGY Gabon is home to use, including as a component in bio-
benjamin taguemount/getty images

endangered wildlife like chimpanzees degradable packaging and as the pri-

and elephants, which are threatened mary material used in 3-D printing.
by illegal hunters looking for ivory
tusks or bush meat. Dutch
company Hack the Planet is
helping local anti-poaching
teams protect the country’s rich
wildlife using artificial intelli-
gence technology.
The company’s engineers

readersdigest.in 17
 BETTER LIVING
Wellness for Body & Mind

A
History
of You
MY STORY
Y BY RUSSELL DURLING is my
How to write a 85-year-old father’s account of the
memoir—and why highlights of his life. He is writing and
editing it, by hand, in several notepads
you should I gave him as a Christmas gift in 2019
to encourage the memoir project he
had talked about for years.
BY Karen Stiller
K
In it, my dad shares stories of summer
illustration by Rachel Wada jobs when he was a teenager, breaking

18 november 2023
 reader’s digest

readersdigest.in 19
reader’s digest

up log jams on the Saint John River near experiences both positive and negative.
his hometown of Meductic, New Bruns- “There is a clarity that comes when
wick. He’d move from log to floating log you put something down on paper,”
to reach shore again safely—and he says Cabral. “Remembering and
loved every minute of this adventure, writing helps us make sense of things.
even when he’d land in the water. If you don’t write it down or tell it, it’s
Reading an early draft, I learnt new lost. And that’s a shame.”
details of his history, like how when they Begin your project by jotting down
were children, his cousin Clara had a your reasons for writing your story. You
pet crow. He also wrote about lessons could summarize those reasons on a
learnt from his RCMP career, which was Post-It and stick it on your fridge as an
spent mostly in Nova Scotia, and shared encouraging reminder to stay moti-
insights about how to retire well. Pro tip vated. After all, there are many good
from my father: to add a decade to your reasons to write: to remember and
life, ditch the city (if you can). reflect on your past, to capture your
This memoir will be a treasure for adventures, to share life lessons with
our family, and I’m glad my father was family and friends, or maybe even to be
finally able to start writing it, after published. Consider sharing your plan
spending a long time talking about with a friend or family member who
wanting to. And I get it. Writing your can check in and cheer your progress.
life story can feel like a daunting proj-
ect. But it’s worth it, both to the writer
and their potential readers. If you’re Where to Start
having a hard time putting pen to You don’t have to start with day one. In
paper, here’s advice to get you started. fact, as much as your future readers
love you, they may find that approach
less than gripping.
First, Ask Why In her workshops, Cabral helps peo-
Esmeralda Cabral is a Portuguese- ple to start writing by using a photo
Canadian writer living in Vancouver. that is meaningful to them. She asks
She works with people who wouldn’t them to imagine sitting down with a
normally consider themselves writers good friend and telling them the
through her workshop, Writing Your story behind it. Or, begin your writing
Life. Often, she helps people create with an event or story you are particu-
written treasures for their families, larly interested in sharing. What grabs
and sometimes they’re writing just for you as a big moment? Select a vivid
themselves. To her, and those she memory and start there.
teaches, memoir writing can be a way “Plug your nose and jump in, and
of remembering and reflecting on write down all your memories as truth-

20 november 2023
 Life Lesson

fully as you can,” summarizes New York for you or for others, you can always hit
Times bestselling author Anne Lamott the delete button or visit the paper
in Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on shredder later, if you wish. For now,
Writing and Life. Maybe start with a just get it down.
birthday party you remember, or your
first grade classroom. Try writing at the
same time every day, so you can build Don’t Second Guess
a routine that will keep you putting Avoid letting worries over style or
words on the page. structure stop you from writing. If
you care enough about grammar, you
can ask someone you trust to read
Write What You Want it over later on, or even hire a freelance
In every life, there is light and shadow, editor if you’re really fretting over
joy and grief. If you are hesitant to write verb tenses. Remember, perfection in
your memoir because you have diffi- writing is not your goal. Writers also
cult stories that might hurt others, might hesitate to share stories because
there is a solution. First, “You don’t they fear they are boring.
have to write about everything,” says “I hear a lot of people say, ‘Oh no,
Cabral. “It’s okay to have secrets that that wouldn’t be interesting to anyone
go with you to the grave.” but me,’” says Cabral. But our life
Simply knowing you have the stories are of interest to others, whether
freedom to not go to the darkest of they feel ordinary to us or if they
places in your writing can lift you over really are extraordinary. They remind
those psychological hurdles of hesita- us we are all in this together.
tion. However, writing often takes on a Writer Pauline Dakin, author of
life of its own. If you find yourself the award-winning 2017 memoir
standing outside a door you had Run, Hide, Repeat: A Memoir of a
marked as ‘Do Not Enter’, consider Fugitive Childhood, was surprised how
Cabral’s advice: “Write about the hard much the unusual story of her
things as if the person you are writing childhood on the run connected with
about is reading it. Be as kind as you readers. She’s since heard from hun-
can. Leave them with dignity.” dreds. “They often begin by saying, ‘My
If you’re writing for your eyes only, family wasn’t nearly as crazy as yours,
as a kind of personal therapy, then you but …,’” she says. “They are relieved to
may be purposely opening doors and hear my story. It makes them feel
exploring what’s on the other side. they are not alone.”
That’s okay, too. You are creating a trea- We are all far more interesting than
sure for yourself, and that can be very we know, she adds. It’s just a matter of
healthy. Besides, whether the writing is believing we have a story to tell.

readersdigest.in 21
 HEALTH

Soothe the
Sunday
Scaries
How to replace
workweek dread
with Funday

By Leslie Finlay

illustration by James Steinberg

22
2 november 2023
 Reader ’s Digest

M
ost of us look forward to the depression,” explains Angela Ficken,
weekend as a time to relax, a psychotherapist based in Boston.
connect with friends and fam- Ficken adds that the characteristic Sun-
ily and tackle items from a to-do list day scaries feelings of dread, nervous-
that gets neglected during the work- ness, sadness or anxiousness might
week. But as the weekend comes to even start bubbling up as early as
an end, many of us are missing out Saturday, but by the time Monday rolls
on Sunday Funday and instead expe- around and you start your workweek,
riencing a looming sense of anxiety the anxiety tends to subside and not re-
and even dread about the upcoming turn until the following weekend. That
week. Experts have dubbed this exis- sense of dread on Sunday can come
tential worry the ‘Sunday scaries’. Polls from many different sources, including:
say 75 per cent to 80 per cent of people ★ Fear of failure, criticism or judgment
experience these Sunday scaries, says at work, especially from high-pressure
Amanda Stemen, a licensed therapist jobs—even if it’s a job you love.
and owner of Fundamental Growth, a ★ A reminder after a weekend of
therapy practice in Los Angeles. ‘me time’ that the next five days will
“The Sunday scaries is an over- be mostly given to your work.
whelming feeling of dread and anxiety ★ Exhaustion after a really busy week-k
about going to work or school the next end, making you apprehensive about
day,” says Renée Goff, a licensed clini- the demands of the coming week.
cal psychologist and the owner of Or- But even though the Sunday scaries
chid Wellness & Mentoring, an online are common, they are manageable.
mental health service. And it can be Here’s how experts say you can ease
experienced physically and mentally. your end-of-weekend anxiety.
“Some people describe it as a heavi-
ness they can feel in their body, while 1. Structure your Sunday.
others feel so jittery they could jump “Structure can be a best friend when
out of their skin,” says Goff. feeling the Sunday scaries,” says
Anticipatory anxiety is a natural Ficken. “Instead of sitting on the
response that happens in prepa- couch and watching the clock, go do
ration for anything that can cause something that you enjoy.” You might
pain or discomfort, including the still get whiffs of that sense of dread,
pressures and deadlines of our but that feeling is harder to hold on to
lilkin/getty images

jobs and fear of losing the financial when you’re engaging in something
security they provide. that makes you feel good, she says.
“While the Sunday scaries cause
anxiety and sadness, it doesn’t mean 2. Don’t forget to relax.
you have an anxiety disorder or When structuring your Sunday, try

readersdigest.in 23
Reader ’s Digest

not to cram in too many errands and 4. Create some excitement for
chores. If you’re feeling more stress in the week ahead.
general, it’s important to make space Getting rid of the Sunday scaries isn’t
for relaxing activities to ground your- just about minimizing the doom and
self, says Naiylah Warren, a therapist gloom of the week ahead, either.
and clinical content manager at Real, “Having something to look forward to
an online mental health care resource. gives you something to think about
And there’s no right way to relax. that’s pleasing, rather than only
“Maybe a body scan meditation, focusing on the dread you feel,”
maybe a mid-afternoon shower or Ficken says. It’s a form of reframing
bath, maybe an engaging movie or your thoughts: Instead of focusing on
show,” Warren says. “Whatever feels the awful things you expect from the
like a helpful distraction to reground week, build excitement over a coffee
from the scaries.” or lunch date with a friend you’ve
been meaning to catch up with. “This
3. Identify your anxiety sources. gives you the opportunity to shift your
Anxiety is a normal human experience, thoughts to something fun and will
and one of the main ways to manage help improve your mood.”
it is to identify your personal triggers.
“Try to pinpoint what’s really 5. End your Sunday with the
causing you to dread the week,” Goff right kind of energy.
says. “Is it a deadline, meeting or Make Sunday nights about doing
presentation?” Even if there’s not something for yourself, to counter-
a single reason behind your Sunday act the anxiety you’re feeling about
anxiety, organizing the stress you Monday. Maybe that means planning
expect from the week ahead into some favourite foods to enjoy while
bite-sized chunks can help make it watching football. Or maybe you go
all more manageable. all in for some self-care.
“Create multiple to-do lists,” Goff “This is an opportunity to give your-
recommends. One list for tasks that self proper wind-down time. Maybe
need to be completed immediately, you want to journal, do a face mask,
another for tasks that are less urgent, read a few pages of a good book—al-
and a final list for tasks that you’d like low yourself to decompress so you can
to complete at some point. feel empowered and confident you’ll
“Seeing these can help put into per- be ready for the next day,” Warren says.
spective what’s important and what Do your best to honour this time
you can let go of for now,” she says. and make Sunday night all about
“This can decrease the anticipation of you—leave the work emails for
the stress and dread of the week.” Monday morning.

24 november 2023
 A New Way
to Diagnose
Parkinson’s Sooner
Currently, doctors diag-
nose Parkinson’s disease
based on symptoms.
That’s not ideal because
news from the
the the ailments that often

WORLD LD OF appear first—constipa-

tion, depression or sleep
MEDICINE
By Samantha
t Rideout
issues, for example—are
shared by many other
medical conditions.
Patients may not get a
definitive diagnosis
until years later, when
A TASTY WAY the signature tremors
and stiffness of Parkin-
TO BOOST son’s finally appear.
GUT HEALTH That uncertainty may
soon change, thanks
Instead of sprinkling salt on foods,
d go for to new lab tests that
more herbs and spices. Not only will they detect abnormalities in

PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES, PROP STYLIST: ROBIN FINLAY

add more flavour, they’re also good for a protein called alpha-
synuclein. One such
your gut health, according to a study pub- test, performed via a
lished in November 2022 in the Journal of spinal tap, was recently
Nutrition. The participants added 24 herbs validated in a large
and spices, including ginger, rosemary, American trial under-
taken by the Michael J.
basil and cinnamon, to their diets. After Fox Foundation. It cor-
four weeks, those who’d sprinkled even rectly identified 88 per
as little as a teaspoon a day on their meals cent of the participants
increased the variety of microbes living in with Parkinson’s disease
and gave a ‘false posi-
their digestive tracts. A diverse gut micro- tive’ to less than 5 per
biome is important for overall health cent of the people
and well-being, including immunity. who didn’t have it.

26
6 november 2023
 Reader ’s Digest

When Obesity Outside Exercise

Is Genetic Boosts the Brain

Diet and inactivity Regardless of the set--

are not the only things ting, exercise is good for
that can contribute to brain function. But yoou interviewed some who
obesity. Other factors can give your brain an were in the 45 to 59 age
include age, medica- extra boost if you worrk range. The women were
tions and sleep habits. out in pleasant outdoor most likely to blame a
Also, certain genes surroundings. Students low sex drive and low
increase the likelihood at the University of level of sexual activity
of obesity (defined by Victoria took cognitive on all the pressures they
a BMI of 30 or higher). function tests before and were facing, such as
WLADIMIR BULGAR/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY/GETTY IMAGES (PILLS). YASINGUNEYSU/GETTY IMAGES (SHOES)

According to research after 15-minute walks. those stemming from

led by Sweden’s Karolin- On one day, they did their jobs, raising chil-
ska Institute, obesity the walking inside, and dren, caring for ageing
affects your health dif-
f on another day, the stu- relatives, dealing with
ferently depending on dents followed a forested health issues and
what caused it. Specifi- path around campus. shouldering most of
cally, people with a high Their test performance the housework. People
BMI and a genetic pre- was better after the out- might find it comforting
disposition to obesity door stroll, suggesting to learn that it’s common
have a lower risk of that kind of setting to be less sexually active
heart disease compared boosts brainpower. at this stage of life, the
to people whose extra researchers said, and
weight is related to Insights into that frequency isn’t the
environmental and life- Midlife Libido most important influ-
style factors alone. Even ence on a satisfying sex
so, healthy lifestyles are Menopause plays a life. For the participants
important for everyone, role in women’s lower who were the most sexu-
whatever the person’s sex drives at midlife, ally satisfied, a feeling of
weight
g or ggenes. but so do the pressures closeness and intimacy
of daily life. Investigators in the relationship mat-
at the London School tered more. And that
of Hygiene & Tropical can come from simply
Medicine and at the feeling supported—a
University of Glasgow good reminder to seek
analyzed information help when you are fee-
from 2,133 women and ling overwhelmed.

readersdigest.in 27
 13 THINGS

Illuminating Facts
About Fireworks
By Samantha Rideout

1
The fireworks that firecrackers as early as US imports most of
Americans see on the second century B.C. the world’s fireworks,
Fourth of July were spending more than

2
most likely made— Canadians put on $650 million on them
where else?—in China. pyrotechnic dis- per year. The Walt
The country that makes plays every 1 July to Disney Co. alone buys
90 per cent of the world’s celebrate their own na- about $50 million worth.
fireworks is also where tional birthday, as the

3
they were invented. French do on 14 July to benefitting from
Most historians believe mark the anniversary of the import ban on
that the Chinese used their revolution. But the firecrackers and its

28 november 2023 illustration by Serge Bloch

 reader’s digest

dry weather conducive ‘strobe’, which pro- which featured shades

to the manufacture of duces a blinking effect. in honour of the late
fireworks, Sivakasi, musician Prince. There’s

5
Tamil Nadu, is the un- Italians were the no cash prize, but win-
disputed firecracker first to mix in extra ners take home trophies
hub of India, now. But, metals to create dif-f known as Jupiters—
it wasn’t always so: the ferent colours, in the fittingly named for the
first firework factory in 1830s. Before that, not Roman god of the sky
India was set up in Kol- surprisingly, all fire- and thunder.
kata in the 19th century. works were orange, the

7
And ‘Bhakthapu’ or most common colour of We’re used to
Bengal Lights, the small fire. The patterns are a seeing fireworks
mudpot, emitting bright result of much more re- displays paired
yellow sparkles, was the cent technology. The with music. But some-
first ever firework man- first patch of sky to see times it’s the sparklers
ufactured in India. specific shapes was the that inspire the tunes,
one above Washington, such as George Frideric

4
A mixture of D.C.: Americans wel- Handel’s joyous Music
gunpowder and comed their troops for the Royal Fireworks
other flammable home from Operation (1749), composed to
compounds causes Desert Storm in 1991 mark the end of the War
fireworks to explode in with fireworks that of the Austrian Succes-
all those pretty colours exploded into purple sion. Claude Debussy’s
and fun shapes. Cop- hearts and yellow bows. 1913 composition Feux
per, for instance, burns d’artifice (‘Fireworks’)

6
bright blue; strontium Every summer, uses the piano to evoke
sparks deep red. To- pyrotechnic artists thrilling blasts with
gether, they produce gather in Montreal anticipatory pauses
purple. But the outlines for the world’s largest in between.
fireworks form depend fireworks competition,

8
on the placement of L’International des Feux For centuries the
these compounds in- Loto-Québec. Roughly only way to light
side their shell, as well three million spectators firework fuses was
on the shell’s shape. watch teams compete, by hand, but computer-
Crowd favourites in- with themed musical controlled igniters came
clude ‘comet’, which programs such as ‘Bells out in the 1980s. Auto-
features a long trail and Drums’ (Mexico’s mation means more
of sparks; ‘peony’, a lively entry last year) precisely timed ex-
spherical burst; and or ‘A Tribute to Prince’, plosions, making the

readersdigest.in 29
reader’s digest

11
displays more synchro- The pops and 2004, the company
nized and satisfying— whistles that patented a smokeless
not to mention safer. some fireworks firework launcher.
make is the craftsman-

9 13
But that doesn’t ship of chemists, who With Diwali
mean things always add metal tubes or around the cor-
go according to flakes that hiss and ner, where fire-
plan. In 2012, San sizzle as they burn. works are traditonally
Diego’s Fourth of July Most fireworks go off part of the celebrations,
celebration went awry with loud bangs, which the Delhi government
because of a computer animals don’t enjoy. has banned all fire-
glitch. A display that New ‘quiet’ fireworks crackers, including the
was supposed to last that don’t need as ‘green’ ones. With air
18 minutes got com- much energy to burst quality depleting drasti-
pressed into less than are already popular in cally during the festival,
one minute. Spectators Europe and are starting other states such as
were bombarded with to catch on in North Punjab, Haryana, Tamil
clamour and light as America—for instance, Nadu and West Bengal
roughly 7,000 shells in Banff, Alberta, a town have placed bans and
exploded at once. near a national park. curbs on firecrackers
too. But there is an eco-

10 12
The single setting off friendly alternative to
biggest fire- fireworks re- fireworks: using drones
work shell ever leases hazard- to trace patterns in the
shot was part of a win- ous substances into sky. This was recently
ter carnival display in the air: potassium adopted for Fourth
Steamboat Springs, Col- perchlorate, for exam- of July festivities in
orado, in 2020. Weigh- ple, a chemical that has Incline Village, Nevada,
ing a hefty 1,267 kg, it been linked to thyroid and Parker, Colorado.
rose more than 804 problems. ‘Environ- With drones, there’s
metres before bursting. mentally friendly’ fire- also a much smaller
The amateur aficionado works (which emit up risk of sparking wild-
leading the project said to 65 per cent less air fires. The eco-friendly
his team had spent pollution) were devel- fireworks industry is
hundreds of hours oped at the request of expected to grow almost
building bigger fire- the Walt Disney Co. 20 per cent between
works in the hopes of after it received smoke now and 2027.
stealing the record, pre- complaints from neigh- —WITH INPUTS BY
NAOREM ANUJA
viously held by Dubai. bours of Disneyland. In

30 november 2023
 Reader ’s Digest

Humour in

UNIFORM

As a judge advocate, I
taught military justice
to new second lieuten-
ants at Fort Sam Hous-
ton. I suppose it wasn’t
the most scintillating
topic, because one day
a student dozed off. I
stopped my lecture,
stood in front of him
and bellowed, “Lieu-
tenant! How much
are they paying you
to sleep in this class?”
The lieutenant
“Now I cannot overstress the importance of order here!”
stirred and responded
sleepily, “Sir, clearly
not enough.” KP duty, I worked the aromas emana-
—Richard Huff beside our company ting from the stove.
mess sergeant as he “Whoa, something
My dad said he joined prepared that eve- smells good!” he
the Marines out of high ning’s supper. After said. “What did I
school for one reason: seasoning the meat do wrong?”
He was tired of people and letting it slowly —Richard T.
telling him what to do. cook, he retired to his Floersheimer
—Randy Matthews quarters for a nap.
Army chow is decid- Reader’s Digest will pay
At the end off World edly not fine cuisine. for your funny anecdote
or photo in any of our hu-
War II, I did my basic But when he came mour sections. Post it to the
training at Camp Blan- back two hours later, editorial address, or email
ding, Florida. During he paused and inhaled us at [email protected]

cartoon by Ralph Hagen/Cartoonstock readersdigest.in 31

 COVER STORY

7Global
Sleep
Tips
One of these having a good night’s sleep allows your body
to function at its best: It boosts your immune
could be your system, lowers stress, improves mental
sharpness and may even lower your chances
key to a good of overeating. But as anyone who has ever
sat up at night staring at the clock knows,
night’s rest getting the recommended seven-plus hours
can be elusive.
There is no shortage of techniques that really
work: sleep in a darkened, cool bedroom;
By Vanessa Milne avoid prolonged screen time before bed; get
regular exercise; and aim to wake up and go to

32
2 november 2023 illustrations by Hayden Maynard
 Reader ’s Digest

readersdigest.in 33
Reader ’s Digest

bed at the same time every day. feet in a warm basin and massaging
But we unearthed some lesser- them can stimulate blood circulation
known ideas from around the world by dilating your vessels. Having warmer
that are well worth a try. feet may lower your core body tem-
perature, helping you fall asleep faster.
1. People in China Wash A 2018 South Korean study of people
Their Feet Before Bed who wore socks to sleep, which warms
the feet, found that they fell asleep
Foot massages and spa treatments that seven minutes faster than those who
are focused on the feet—including aro- didn’t wear socks. And they slept for 32
matherapy and wrapping the feet in minutes longer, too.
warm towels—are widely practised
across China. What could be more 2. Germans Use
relaxing? The ritual is so beloved that Separate Duvets
many people perform a DIY version at
home before bedtime each night. In Germany, couples have solved the
Automatic foot spas are ubiquitous problem of one of them waking up cold
in Chinese households. Every night, whenever their partner rolls over and
people soak their feet in hot water; takes the sheets with them. While it’s
many machines have exfoliating and typical for partners to share a bed—
massage functions, too. The routine is often two singles pushed together—
done right before bed, so that after you each chooses their own single-sized
dry your feet, they are still warm when sheets and a separate duvet.
you tuck in. Not only does that make it less likely
Beyond the hygiene aspect, putting that your partner will disturb your sleep
when they move around, but you
can each customize the amount of
bedding you use to stay as warm or
as cool as you prefer at night.
“Different sets of bedding can
be great,” says Michael Breus, a
California-based author of several
books about sleep and a clinical
psychologist with a speciality
in sleep disorders.
It’s useful when one partner is
a cover stealer, he says, but also
when partners differ in how hot
or cold they feel at night. Because

34 november 2023
 Cover Story

women generally have less

muscle mass than men, they
may have a lower metabolism,
burning fewer calories and
therefore producing less body
heat. That can make finding
bedding that’s comfortable
for both partners a problem—
and separate covers could be
the solution.

3. Guatemalans Rely
on Worry Dolls
Guatemala has a longstanding
tradition of parents putting
‘worry dolls’ under their kids’
pillows to comfort them if
they are afraid of the dark. Plus, people with clinical anxiety also have
children can tell the tiny dolls their insomnia. Not sleeping enough can
worries before they go to sleep. The lead to more anxiety, perpetuating the
legend goes that the colourful fabric problem. Expressing your worries
dolls, which are only a couple of before bed can help—so why not tell
centimetres long, can alleviate kids’ them to a doll?
anxieties by morning. Writing down your worries can also
But it’s no longer a ritual just for be effective, says Breus. “You can make
children. Adults in that country and a worry journal by taking a piece of
in Mexico are increasingly relying on paper and drawing a line down the
the dolls, too, according to Adriana middle. You put your worries on one
Villagra, Mexico-based editor-in-chief side, and the first step to help resolve
of the Latin American edition of Read- each worry on the other.”
er’s Digest. “More and more, adults
rely on worry dolls at night,” she says. 4. The British Sleep Naked
“They’re like a comforting presence.”
Anxiety can make it hard for people Thirty per cent of people in the United
to fall asleep. According to a 2021 Kingdom sleep naked, or at least they
review from researchers in Germany did when the most recent global poll on
that was published in the journal Sleep the subject was done by the National
Medicine Reviews, about 50 per cent of Sleep Foundation in 2013. (Compare

readersdigest.in 35
Reader ’s Digest

that to just 12 per cent of Americans.) more a case of absence making the
Not wearing clothes to bed might heart grow fonder.
be beneficial for several reasons, “When I advise couples to split apart
says Breus. “The biggest one is for sleep, they actually have more inti-
thermoregulation. It’s easier for ‘hot macy. And partners usually don’t need
sleepers’ to be comfortable.” to stay in separate rooms every night.
He adds that there is also data linking I recommend it four days a week and
nude sleeping with fewer yeast infec- then spending weekends together.”
tions and urinary tract infections for
women, and a higher sperm count for 6. The Japanese Nap in
men. And a potential bonus? Healthier Public—and at Work
relationships. It’s possible that couples
are intimate more often when at least According to a government survey, 40
one of them sleeps naked, Breus says. per cent of Japanese adults sleep fewer
than six hours a night. That’s likely why
5. Many American the tradition of inemuri, or ‘sleeping
Couples Sleep Separately while present’, is practised, and that
includes in cafés and on public transit.
In the U.S., some couples are getting As long as you don’t invade other
a so-called ‘sleep divorce’: when one people’s space when you nod off while
partner gives up the marital bed seated, it’s widely accepted—even in
and sleeps in a separate room. Accor- the workplace. Napping at your desk is
ding to a Slumber Cloud poll of frowned upon in other parts of the
2,000 Americans who lived with a part- world, but the Japanese regularly do it;
ner, nearly one-third said they had in white-collar jobs, it shows dedication.
discussed sleeping in separate
rooms, and 12 per cent of them
actually do. The reasons range from
one partner snoring to having differ-
ent sleep schedules to not having
enough space in the bed.
“I’m actually a big fan of couples
sleeping in separate rooms,” says
Breus. He says there is a stigma
attached to it, since some people
may think couples who sleep apart
have weaker relationships than
those who sleep together. But in
his experience, that’s not true. It’s

36 november 2023
 Cover Story

After all, the workday often extends

well into the evening, when col-
leagues are expected to socialize.
Daytime napping can be a good
idea if you’re sleep deprived. A 2021
French study found that naps
improved cognitive performance
and alertness. Other research has
shown that a 10- to 20- minute nap
improves your mood, too.

7. Canadians Cozy Up
With Their Pets
In 2019, a survey by Purina Canada of A 2017 study from the Mayo Clinic
1,800 pet owners found that more found that people who let their dogs
than three-quarters of Canadians with sleep in their rooms slept well, although
dogs let them into their bed at night, those who let their dog sleep on their
and just over half of cat owners do. Up bed slept worse than those whose dogs
to two-thirds of pet owners in the slept on the floor next to them.
U.S., Australia and the U.K. sleep with That backs up the findings of an ear-
their furry friends, too. lier study in which more people found
There’s likely a good reason why sleeping near their pet to be benefi-
some people are comfortable sleeping cial than they did disruptive. Those in
near dogs, says David Samson, associate favour said that it didn’t affect their
professor of evolutionary anthropology sleep, and some reported that it even
at the University of Toronto and the helped them sleep better.
author of Our Tribal Future. He studies If you do allow a pet to sleep on your
the so-called sentinel hypothesis in bed, says Breus, be conscious of the fact
relation to dogs. It argues that one of that they’re less clean than you are.
the main ways they helped our ancient “Your animal brings pollen and dirt
ancestors survive was by barking to from outside into the bed,” he says.
warn them of danger during the night. Some can also have a breathing or sleep
“The relationship between dogs and disorder and can disrupt your sleep.
humans likely goes back about 55,000 But overall, Breus feels animals on the
years,” he says. “Dogs and humans have bed are fine as long as they don’t bother
been co-evolving.” It makes sense that you—and that’s based on first-hand
some people instinctively feel safer, and experience: “My two bulldogs sleep at
therefore sleep better, with a dog around. the end of my bed,” he says.

readersdigest.in 37
Reader ’s Digest

38 november 2023
 COVER STORY

How I Tried
Stop
to

Snoring
I wanted a quick fix, even if it meant
strapping a glorified bike pump to my face

By Jordan Foisy FROM

THE WALRUS

illustrations by Hayden Maynard readersdigest.in 39

Reader ’s Digest

I
think of myself as a good sleeper. Give me a large
book and a horizontal position, and I could fall
asleep strapped to the top of a bullet train. Sleep
has been a constant ally, a friend. When I was a
teen, it was a refuge. I used to pray for sleep; its
temporary oblivion was a welcome respite from anxi-
ety and obsessive thoughts. It was a pause—not a
death, but close enough to it. Every time I fell asleep,
there was a chance of resurrection, to wake up new.
My girlfriend, Allison, however, does it was my body, not me, that was snor-
not think I’m a good sleeper. She ing; my lungs moving the air, my soft
knows the truth. At night, I thrash tissues. Those are the guilty parties.
around and scream. Occasionally, it When Allison is flipping my sleeping
sounds like my breathing stops. Worst body over and plugging its nose, or
of all for her, I snore. Badly. She’s occasionally smothering my face with
shown me a video of it, and it’s horrif- a pillow, who is she smothering? How
ying: My thin, wheezing inhalations unimportant is the self to our life when
are interrupted by a wrenching tear we are sleeping—something we spend
of a noise, like someone ripping a a third of our life doing—that it can be
carpet inside a cave. completely absent?
We sometimes get into little fights
when I wake up. She’s had a terrible I tried treating my snoring with the
sleep and is justifiably annoyed. She junk-drawer solution of buying every
can’t stay mad for long, though, anti-snoring device I could: nose strips,
because who is she mad at? Certainly, mouth guards, nasal spray—anything

40 november 2023
 Cover Story

that promised snoring absolution. Noth- we sleep, our brain organizes, pro-
ing worked. Every time, there would cesses and saves our memories. Not
be a glimmer of hope, when we would only that, he says, but sleep also
try to convince ourselves my snoring enhances our memories. Van den Berg
wasn’t as bad. But, every time, it soon told me about studies in which the sub-
became clear the only difference was jects are taught a basic skill before bed,
that the top of my mouth was now and when they wake up, they not only
shredded from the cheap plastic of a remember the skill but have actually
so-called snore guard. improved upon it.
Allison wanted me to see a doctor,
but it’s hard to take snoring seriously as
a health problem. It seems more like a MY HEALTHCARE
joke, like a problem that a sitcom dad SUBSISTED ON
would have after getting electrocuted
by Christmas decorations. It seems less
FAITH THAT A
like a health issue and more like a PROBLEM DOESN’T
personality defect. EXIST UNTIL YOU
According to Nick van den Berg, a
PhD candidate in experimental psycho-
DEAL WITH IT.
logy at the University of Ottawa and a
member of the Canadian Sleep Society,
“Snoring occurs as our muscles in the Sleep, then, is where we are forged.
upper airway relax so much that they Every night, we throw our day-to-day
narrow the airway.” This is why snoring experiences, memories and lessons into
gets worse as we age, as our once taut the kiln of sleep, let them bake for
and virile inner neck muscles become hopefully eight hours, and emerge
flabby and weak. a better, stronger, fuller version of
The real threat of bad snoring is that it ourselves in the morning.
could be a sign of obstructive sleep
apnoea, when a blockage in your airway So my girlfriend was right to insist I
causes you to wake up constantly. The deal with the problem, but I was resis-
lack of sleep—for you or your partner— tant. I’m in my mid-30s and haven’t had
can be a serious health risk, as insuffi- a doctor since I was a kid. My health-
cient sleep has been linked to heart dis- care subsisted on walk-in clinic visits
ease, type 2 diabetes and Alzheimer’s. and youthful hubris—a faith that things
More than all of that, sleep is essen- will work out and a belief that a prob-
tial to your functioning as a human lem doesn’t really exist until you deal
being. “Sleep is key to memory con- with it. But what really scared me off
solidation,” says van den Berg. When was that going to a doctor about my

readersdigest.in 41
Reader ’s Digest

snoring would force me to confront how been asking me to do. I went to a doctor.
I live and its repercussions, and that The doctor asked how much I drank
my body has limits. a week. I gave him a number high
It has been a tough year. A friend enough that he should factor it into his
passed away suddenly and tragically. diagnosis but low enough that I could
Then my grandmother followed. My say it without being embarrassed. He
chronic knee problem turned into a full- figured I had sleep apnoea and said I
blown meniscus tear, dashing any hopes should drink less and lose weight. He
referred me to a sleep study to confirm
the diagnosis so I could get a CPAP (con-
THE TECH WANTS tinuous positive airway pressure)
TO KNOW WHAT machine for the apnea.
A CPAP machine is a device that
POSITION I SLEEP shoots a steady flow of pressurized air
IN. OVERALL into your nose and mouth. It involves
I’D DESCRIBE IT a hose, a mask that covers either your
nose or mouth or both, and a head har-
AS MAXIMUM ness, resulting in the wearer looking
OBNOXIOUS. like a cozy fighter pilot, like Top Gun’s
Maverick if the undisclosed enemy coun-
try were your dreams.
of a late-life bloom into a guy who is I entered the sleep clinic feeling
‘surprisingly athletic’. My eyesight nervous, excited and blisteringly sober.
became distorted, and a visit to the eye I had successfully adhered to the
doctor revealed I had fluid under my guidelines sent out by the clinic: no
retina, a condition called central serous alcohol in the past 12 hours, no coffee
chorioretinopathy. It’s caused by stress. in the last two, and no naps. Free
Also, I started seeing a therapist again from its usual coating of hangover,
and within minutes, over Zoom, he told too-late coffee and post-nap delirium,
me I looked depressed. my mind was unadorned and hungry
It was a year of the space capsule of for answers.
my youthful fantasy breaking up on con- Next, a technician came and asked
tact with an atmosphere of reality and me a couple of questions, the most
repercussions, all soundtracked by some provocative being: What position do
of the worst snoring you’ve ever heard. you sleep in? I’m mostly a mix of side
But there are other things to be afraid and stomach, with one leg pitched
of besides ageing and so, fearing a like I’m doing a hurdle. Overall,
breakup or an unexplained disappear- though, I would describe my sleeping
ance (mine), I tried what Allison had position as maximum obnoxious. My

42 november 2023
 Cover Story

limbs are splayed as far as they sharp, arrhythmic, metallic smack.

can reach, and I continually thrash and At 10:45 p.m., the technician began
roll from side to side in erratic and sticking electrodes to my body for
irregular movements. Basically, I sleep the electroencephalogram, or EEG.
like David Byrne dances. Created in 1924, this test measures
I sat on my assigned bed, waiting for brain waves without any need for your
the sleep lab to begin its work. ‘Lab’ head to be cut open. It is still the
was a misnomer. There were no bea- gold standard for sleep studies. The
kers, or mad scientists, or stainless- technician also placed sensors on my
steel tanks with anonymous figures arms and legs to measure my move-
floating in green fluid. Just a generic ment, asensor below my nose and
hospital room: infinite white walls; a a harness around my chest to measure
thin, hard bed that made me feel like I my breathing.
was lying on an H&M clothing shelf; I don’t know what it says about
and a pillow that had all the comfort my self-esteem, but I found being a
and support of a bag of napkins. Worst specimen thrilling. The thrill quickly
of all, something was dripping in the passed as I proceeded to have the
air conditioning unit, producing a worst sleep of my life.

readersdigest.in 43
Reader ’s Digest

There are two types of sleep: NREM and level from the wear and tear of the
REM. Both are required for memory day—happens.
consolidation. NREM , or non-rapid eye
movement, sleep has three stages. Suddenly, the second act of sleep
Stage one is drifting off: those five to occurs: REM (rapid eye movement)
10 minutes of drowsiness where it is sleep. The brain explodes with activity;
hard to tell if you are asleep or not. it appears to be awake. This is when
Once you are out, the second stage most dreaming occurs, especially the
begins. It is marked by slower brain intense, emotional genre of dreams—
waves and short, fast bursts of brain the ones that are like ‘I’m on a date
activity called spindles. The third stage with a book report I didn’t finish’.
of NREM is slow-wave sleep. Your brain Beneath the eyelids your eyes dart
waves are now deep, long curves, around wildly, and your heart races.
similar at times to those seen in people It’s not entirely clear why this hap-
under anaesthesia. It is in these pens. Van den Berg’s favourite theory is
last two stages of NREM sleep that that it is preparatory. “If NREM is recov-
the majority of restoration—in which ery from the day before, REM seems to
the body repairs itself on a cellular be preparation for the day ahead.”

44
4 november 2023
 Cover Story

When you have a good night’s sleep, These were not the results I was
these different stages are a harmonious looking for. I had been hoping for a
cycle. Of course, many things can dis- condition, a disorder, something to
rupt this harmony: electric light, caf- f point to whenever I indulged in a self-
feine, a late night out or—as I found pity wallow. I had wanted a quick fix,
out—being covered in wires that pre- even if that meant strapping a glorified
cariously cling to your body with every bike pump to my face. Instead, what I
toss and turn. Many thoughts can keep got were consequences, which coalesce
you up at night, and in the lab I discov- and compound and reverberate, like a
ered a new one: I sure hope that when snore off the inner walls of your throat.
I turned over, I didn’t ruin this experi- There is no guarantee things will just
ment being performed on me. work out: injuries worsen, tragedy hap-
Another pressure point in the deli- pens, your girlfriend gets fed up with
cate dance of the sleep stages is if there your snoring. When you don’t sleep, it
is an unceasing arrhythmic drip of an takes days to recover.
air conditioning unit the entire night. My snoring has gotten worse since
the study. Louder, more frequent.
I was woken up at 5:30 a.m. after maybe Thankfully, Allison and I have figured
two hours of gruel-thin snoozing. The out a staggered sleep schedule that
wires were removed, and I strolled home seems to work. Also, I’m exercising
in the dawn light, feeling like my sleep– more, eating better and drinking less,
wake cycle and circadian rhythms were because from this study, I learnt that
utterly and completely ruined. you are an accumulation of every-
After two months, the results of the thing you did before. Things aren’t just
study came in. There was no sleep going to get better on their own. You
apnoea. I have what the report called have to take care of yourself and others.
‘mild primary snoring’. As far as the When you ate, what you learnt, how
study could tell, there is no particular you slept: These things matter. The
reason for it. Ageing, drinking too much, person you are today builds from the
and rapidly deteriorating neck muscles person you were the day before.
are all it takes. The snoring was simply © 2023, THE WALRUS. FROM HOW I TRIED TO STOP SNORING, FIX MY
SLEEP HABITS, AND CONFRONT MY MORTALITY,Y BY JORDAN FOISY,
the sound of time catching up to me. FROM THE WALRUS (15 MARCH 2023), THEWALRUS.CA

A student came to the library to ask about her club funds because her
teacher told her to see the bookkeeper. So she came to me. The keeper of
the books. This is the cutest thing that will happen to me all day.
— J E S S I C A M A LO N E G R I D E R ( @ M R S _ G _ R I D E R ) O N X

readersdigest.in 45
 All
in a Day’s
WORK
On our first visit to the
US, my husband and
I were window shop-
ping along the streets
of Loveland, Cincin-
nati, one day, when we
saw a board in front of
a small shop that read
‘One Shirt, One Dollar’.
We eagerly entered the
shop murmuring in ad-
miration at how things
in America were so “Yep, all the big supermarkets have a room
affordable. As we for people caught tasting grapes.”
combed through the
aisle, picking up a few place the shirts you decided to try one
shirts wrapped in plas- removed back on the out on her own. She
tic from the stand to stand before you leave.” noticed a sign and
try on, I noticed a lady —Ramani Abraham, slowly sounded out the
sitting in the corner fix- Kottayam word: oo-ha-ool.
ing buttons on a shirt, “Close,” our guide
watching us through Our tour guide in Hawaii told her. “It’s U-Haul.”
the top of her glasses. shared a story about a —Shelly Butler
“Hi! Could you show previous client who was
us this one in a medium totally confounded by
size, please?” I asked. the Polynesian lan- Reader’s Digest will pay
Without looking up, guage. He helped her for your funny anecdote
or photo in any of our
she replied, “Ma’am, out with a few pronun-
humour sections. Post it
this is a dry cleaner’s. ciations of words they to the editorial address, or
Please don’t forget to came upon, then she email: [email protected]

46
6 november 2023 cartoon by Phil Witte
 QUOTABLE QUOTES
My religion is no way
of knowing me.
—Jeet Thayil, author

Occupation means that

you cannot trust the open sky,
or any open street near to the I’ve been a detective since
gates of a sniper’s tower. It I was a little kid … But ...
means that you cannot trust being a detective means that
the future or have faith that you have a question. And the
the past will always be there. question is so important that
—Suheir Hammad, writer
and political activist
you will go to any end to find
it. In addition, a detective
always believes that there is a
way of finding the answer.
You know, I’m sick of following
And that’s the way I have
my dreams, man. I’m just going
always done research.
to ask where they are going and
—Claudia Goldin, winner,r The Sveriges
hook up with them later. Riksbank Prize in Economic Sciences in
—Mitch Hedberg, comedian Memory of Alfred Nobel 2023

Life is too
complicated Our biggest learning has
and—as far as been this: So long as there is a
we can under- compassionate and continuous
stand it in our
present state of process of engagement, we
from left: india picture

knowledge—too will get there. Revolutions take

illogical, for it many forms and the courage to
to be confined live your truth will result in
within the four
corners of a slow,
w but sure, change.
fixed doctrine. —Susan Dias & Aditi Anand, one of the
—Jawaharlal Nehru, couples who petitioned the Supreme Court
former PM of India to legalize same-sex marriage in India.

readersdigest.in 47
 DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

48 november 2023
I S U R
 Reader ’s Digest

S T O R I E S H AV E
N T H E S E T H R E E :
THE P E O P L E I F O R O N E T H I N G
M M O N E X C E P T
O

!
T H I N G I N C B O U T I T

D
NO T O T E L L A

E
N D L I V E D

V
A T H A

I
FA C E D D E

V
THE Y

As told
ld to Lisa Fitterman

illustrations by Kagan McLeod readersdigest.in 49

Reader ’s Digest

that leads from my living room to a set

... MY FLOODED of concrete stairs up to the backyard.
APARTMENT The water must have breached the
sandbags. All around me, my things
CHRISTIAN FLEISCHMANN, 33
began to float by: chairs, bookshelves,
i finally climbed into bed at 1:20 in the pieces of my drum set.
morning. It was 15 July 2021, and my I admit it, I began to panic. The Ahr,
friends had helped me celebrate my usually such a quiet, slow-moving river,
31st birthday in the basement apart- had violently burst its banks. And now
ment of my sister’s home, where I lived. I had to get out—fast!
Earlier in the day I had prepared for Any effects of the celebratory drinks
the unlikely event of a flood. We are I’d had earlier were now gone; fear
about 536 metres from the banks of the sobered me right up. I heard the garden
Ahr River in Sinzig, Germany. It had door starting to crack and splinter
been raining buckets that week and
authorities had issued a flood warning,
though not for where I was. Still, I’d THE LAMPS WERE
placed sandbags on the floor outside SHATTERING,
my garden door and piled electronics
and clothing on tables and the couch THE CUPBOARDS WERE
just in case water managed to seep BEING TORN APART.
through. Before my friends left, they
laughed at me for doing that, but I
thought, Why take a chance? under the pressure of the flood. The
As I drifted off to sleep, I was awak- sound was like nothing else—screech-
ened by the sound of rushing water, as ing, hissing and crashing all at once. It
if I were lying beside a waterfall instead was relentless. And the water was now
of in my bedroom. When I swung my up to my waist. In bare feet and with
legs off the bed, I was shocked by the my boxer shorts plastered to my body,
sensation of cold water lapping against I started to wade to my only escape: the
my knees and rising fast. door that leads upstairs to the rest of
It has to be from a burst pipe in the house. All around me things were
the bathroom, I thought. Shivering breaking—the lamps were shattering,
and in darkness, I grabbed my cell- the cupboards were being torn apart.
phone and turned on the flashlight. Finally I made it to the door. I tried to
When I stepped from the bedroom to pull it open, but the force of the water
the hallway, I saw it wasn’t a burst pipe wouldn’t let me. I tried several times to
at all. Instead, water was shooting pry it open even just a little bit, but the
through the gaps of the garden door rushing water slammed it shut again.

50 november 2023
 Drama in Real Life

I looked around for anything I could dren in schools, teaching them martial
use to wedge the door open. There in arts. I can never go back to live in that
the corner were a broom, a coat rack apartment because I just keep thinking,
and a huge, heavy sword from a medi- What if it does happen again?
eval fair. I grabbed them all and, once We didn’t have flood insurance
again, pried open the door, throwing because the house wasn’t considered
the broom and coat rack between the to be located in a high-risk area,
door and the frame to keep the door so we’re fixing it up on our own. My
from shutting, and using the sword to old apartment, once it’s dried out
wedge it open some more. and repaired, will house my martial
I managed to make a gap of about a arts school.
foot, just wide enough to squeeze Many of the houses around us
through and make it into the hallway. were destroyed, including, tragically, a
In the pitch-black, I leaped onto the home for the handicapped. Not every-
stairs leading up to the rest of the house one got out.
and ran to the third floor, where my I came close to drowning that day.
sister lived. I knocked on her door, But rather than dwell on that, I prefer
calling for her, trying to see if she was to recall what my mother told me after-
OK, until I remembered that she ward: “Christian, don’t remember the
wasn’t home that night. day when you lost everything. Remem-
That’s when I went downstairs to the ber the day you survived.”
main floor and ran outside. I stood
there in the darkness, soaked and pan-
ting. What was once a lovely, cozy
street was now a waterscape, with floa- ... A PARACHUTE
ting debris and trees instead of people
and cars. The river had drowned the
MALFUNCTION
JORDAN HATMAKER, 36
neighborhood—and if I had woken up
just a few minutes later, I would have fourteenth november 2021 was a per-
drowned along with it. fect day for skydiving: sunny, with little
We’ve been assured that something wind. I was a novice solo jumper, hav-
like this happens only once every 100 ing jumped only 14 times—not enough
years. I hope so. More than 180 people to be licensed. It scared me, for sure,
died, and parts of villages in the region but a little fear always makes you a bet-
were entirely washed away. ter risk-taker, right? That’s what drew
These days, I’m living at my parents’ me to skydiving in the first place. I’ve
place in the middle of town and slee- always liked flirting with danger.
ping in my dad’s office. I study psycho- I left my home in Virginia Beach,
logy at a university and work with chil- Virginia, late in the morning and

readersdigest.in 51
Reader ’s Digest

arrived at the hangar in Suffolk, space to safely deploy your parachute.

Virginia, 40 minutes later. At around I looked at my altimeter and realized I
1:30 p.m., I joined 15 other skydivers was lower than I’d thought. The ground
for our first jump of the day. As the was coming up too fast! I knew I had
plane ascended, I went through the to pull the pilot chute at roughly 4,000
safety protocols with my coach, a ritual feet, as I’d done the last time, but I was
you go through for every jump, no mat- caught off guard. As I cruised past that
ter how much experience you have. marker, I rushed to pull my chute
This includes pointing from the plane without taking the time to stabilize my
door to the drop zone where you land body position. When I pulled it, instead
13,500 feet below, so you can direct of releasing into the airstream to
your jump. inflate, the pilot chute wrapped around
After the plane leveled off, we my right leg.
jumped, me first, then my coach, free- The chute was pulling my right leg
falling at about 200 kilometers an hour, up as if I were a marionette, while the
descending about 1,000 feet every five main parachute remained in its bag.
seconds. It was exhilarating and terrif- Just get it off, I told myself calmly. I
ying all at once, with the world opening wasted about seven seconds trying to
up before me, coming into focus in get untangled but was unsuccessful.
mere seconds, even though it felt as if With the ground rapidly getting
it were happening in slow motion. closer below me, I prepared to crash.
The wind eddies carried me for the I didn’t think it would be a catastrophic
free fall, and at about 4,000 feet I impact. Maybe you’ll break a leg,
deployed my pilot chute—the small I thought.
parachute used to extract the main I’ve always been an optimist.
one. After the main chute was released Then, suddenly—and thankfully—
and inflated, I had about a minute to the automatic reserve parachute (a
enjoy the peace and quiet as I floated backup that releases when the main
gently toward the soft grassy meadow. one isn’t working) opened. I managed
I felt invincible. to gain some control, steering myself
We went up again not long after toward some grass, which I hoped
for a second jump. The mood on the would make for a softer landing.
plane was light—lots of joking, lots of I had just a few seconds to feel some
laughing. My coach and I still made relief before the main parachute
time to go through our prepping rou- inexplicably released from its bag. It
tine, then we jumped. inflated, and the two parachutes began
After 30 seconds in the air, at around pulling in opposite directions, causing
5,500 feet, we tracked away from each me to accelerate hard and fast toward
other because you need lots of empty the ground, not far from the drop zone.

52 november 2023
 DramaCover
in RealStory
Life

readersdigest.in 53
Reader ’s Digest

When my body smashed into the for the first time. I began a heavy
ground, I felt as if my muscles and course of physical therapy that I’m still
bones were on fire. I tried to get up doing. And, after being unable to even
because that’s what you’re supposed to lift my legs because of the accident, last
do if you don’t land on your feet. It November I climbed to the Mount
shows everyone you’re OK. But I wasn’t Everest base camp.
OK. I couldn’t move anything below Oh, and I plan to skydive again—
my waist. So I lay there, my face in the only I haven’t told my parents yet.
grass, my arms flung out to either side,
and I screamed, “Please, somebody
help!” In between calling for help, I
prayed out loud. “Please, God, don’t let ... A “SNOWNADO”
me be paralyzed.” SHANNON ST. ONGE, 38
I lay with my face buried in the grass,
fully conscious, for about five minutes the snowstorm was supposed to hit
before people from the skydiving club the evening of Monday, 31 January
got there. They quickly surrounded me, 2022. I was working from home but I
eager to help, but there was nothing had to leave that afternoon and go to
they could do. It was too risky to move my office at First Nations University in
me before the paramedics arrived. So Regina, Saskatchewan, so I could sign
they sat there listening to me swearing an emergency financial aid check for a
and yelling as the shock wore off and student. As director of finance, I
the pain really set in. wanted to get it to him as soon as pos-
When the first two paramedics sible, snowstorm or not. Besides, I
arrived with an ambulance half an hour wasn’t worried. I figured I had more
later, they tried to move me onto a than enough time to make it to the
board for transport. It hurt so much, I office and get back home.
screamed. Then I heard the helicopter. The route to the university takes
The air ambulance crew came about 30 minutes along the Trans-
equipped with painkillers, which sent Canada Highway. When I got there, my
me to la-la land, and I was transported colleague came to my office to co-sign
to the nearest trauma centre. the check, then he left for the day. As
In the end, my injuries were pretty I was packing up, I noticed he had
severe: a shattered ankle, a broken shin left his laptop bag in my office.
and a spinal injury that caused a spinal “Shoot,” he said when I called him.
fluid leak. No one could tell me if I “I’m already home.”
would walk again. But I was deter- “I can bring it to you,” I assured him.
mined, and in February 2022, just three It was just past 4:30 p.m. The snow
months after the crash, I walked again wasn’t supposed to start until later, but

54 november 2023
 DramaCover
in RealStory
Life

just to be safe, I decided to take the It took me about 15 minutes to get

country roads to his home instead to my colleague’s house, where I
of the highway, which could fast dropped off the laptop case and got
become a skating rink. On the way to right back on the road. Then the snow
his place, I picked up a new cellphone started—and it was coming down fast.
charger, filled up my SUV with gas and Within minutes I was in a whiteout. The
picked up two stuffed-crust pizzas storm was a ‘snownado’ or what the TV
because I’d promised my 15-year-old meteorologists call a Saskatchewan
daughter and 10-year-old son I’d bring screamer, because it comes in fast and
some home for dinner. so windy that it screams.

readersdigest.in 55
Reader ’s Digest

The road soon switched from paved Breathe, I told myself. Panicking
to gravel, forcing me to slow down. The won’t help.
windows were fogging up and getting My kids! It was the first time they
covered with snow, so I rolled down my would ever be spending a night with-
driver’s side window, thinking I could out me at home. I called and told them
better follow the edge of the road and what was happening, forcing myself to
keep to a straight line. But really, I sound calm. I didn’t tell them I was ter-
didn’t have a clue where I was or even rified. That I, a problem solver all my
which side of the road I was on. At one life, couldn’t figure out what to do.
point, I don’t know exactly when, I It was now about 6 p.m. and dark.
stopped because I was afraid of driving What would my black Ford Edge SUV
into a farmer’s field, a ditch or worse. I look like in a whiteout at night? Would
kept the car running to stay warm and it appear as a shadow? Or worse, would
called 911. The dispatcher told me to sit it be invisible?
Suddenly a truck drove by, barely
GETTING OUT TO WALK missing me. It was close. But surprise
soon turned to thoughts of salvation. I
IN A WHITEOUT IN put the car in drive and followed the
—10-DEGREE WEATHER truck, desperate, with no idea where
we were heading. When it suddenly
WAS NOT AN OPTION. turned, I didn’t know what to do.
“I’m going to the beach,” the driver
shouted through his open window, his
tight and wait things out for the night— words almost lost in the wind.
nobody was coming to get me until I knew the beach wasn’t in the
morning at the earliest. direction of my home, but I had no
Those seconds after the call were idea where I was. So I stopped the
agony. Getting out to walk in a whiteout car and texted my colleague whose
with zero visibility, high winds and a laptop bag I had just returned. I joked
temperature that was hovering around about my good deed ending in
−10 degrees—when I didn’t even know disaster. But he had an idea. “Pin your
where I was—wasn’t an option. But I location on Google Maps and send it to
worried other drivers wouldn’t see me me,” he said.
and would barrel into the car from the I did, and a few minutes later he
front or behind. Or the tailpipe would texted me back a screenshot of the
get clogged with snow and I’d die from satellite view of where I was. We
carbon monoxide poisoning. Or the figured out that I was on a road called
storm would continue for longer than Bouvier Lane, in between two farms.
predicted and I’d be found too late. It was now 6:30 p.m. I posted this

56 november 2023
 Drama in Real Life

new information to my Facebook com- “No,” he replied, his voice steady. “I

munity group, pleading for anyone want you to follow me in your car.
who knew who lived on the farms to You’ll be OK.”
help me get rescued. He turned around and started to
After that, all I could do was sit in trudge through the snow, sure of
the car and try to stay warm. I was the direction. I drove slowly behind
so glad that I’d just filled it up. I’d done him, clutching the wheel, feeling my
all I could, and no matter what hap- heart begin to beat more slowly.
pened, I had to be at peace with that. When we reached the house, I got out
But even if someone did figure out of the car and burst into tears, all
where I was, would help be able to my fears turning into relief
come through the swirling snow and and gratitude.
shrieking wind? As his wife, Maryann Bouvier, treated
Soon enough, though, people started me to hot drinks and applesauce,
chiming in on my post. They knew the André, who was 80 years old, said he’d
family who lived there! I got a message noticed two other cars stranded, too,
from someone who was going to put and he went back out into the storm
me in touch with them. to get them: a father and his two kids,
At 8 p.m., my cellphone rang. It and a couple with their daughter.
was the son of the farmer who We all spent the night telling stories,
owned the land beside the road I was the kids ate the pizza I’d bought, and
stranded on. He told me that his dad we slept scattered around the house,
was coming to get me. on sofas and reclining chairs. By
Then, about 45 minutes later, I saw a 5:30 the next morning, André had
tall figure in a yellow rain slicker strid- cleared the snow from his driveway
ing toward me in the dark, carrying enough that we could all get out and
a flashlight. I’d never been more drive home, which, in my case, was
relieved to see someone in my life. It only five minutes away. The storm had
was André Bouvier, who’d walked turned me around so much, I didn’t
about 503 metres through the blizzard realize how close I was. Even so, I
to come get me, fighting the wind and couldn’t have gone any farther without
snow each step of the way, shielding risking my life.
his eyes from the stinging snow with a The experience has been a game
mittened hand. changer for me. I now approach
“Can you drive?” I asked, shakily. challenges with a sense of calm I’d not
“My nerves are shot.” He thrust his face known before.
closer to mine. It was then that I But best of all, it brought André into
noticed the silver hair and wrinkled my life. We’re still in touch, and I know
skin of an elderly man. we’ll be friends forever.

readersdigest.in 57
 one day and instantly

LIFE’S
become great. He
put in the time and
the work and stuck
Like That with it.”
“Yeah, and then
he quit.”
“He did not quit.
He retired. There’s a
big difference.”
“OK then,” said
Lennox. “I retire.”
—Kristin Castle

How to write a
classified ad:
Be mindful of specif-
f
“Maybe if you stopped calling us
little pigs, we’d let you in.” ics before posting an
ad on Facebook. I came
across one that read:
My annual physical with a complex issue “Looking for an outdoor
includes a memory test. and the automated heated cat/doghouse
It begins with the nurse rep asks me to describe for my mother.” I really
giving me three words what I’m calling about hope the mother has
to remember later in “in a few words.” a pet.
the appointment. The —@copymama on X —Julia Tilson
words sounded familiar. This ad under Farm
“Aren’t these the same My 9-year-old, Lennox, Equipment in the Lyon
three words you gave no longer wanted to County News Leader
me last year?” I asked. play basketball. “I’m proves that spelling
“Yes,” she said. “I like no good,” he insisted. counts: “Looking
to use the same ones so “It’s your first year,” for pastor for 20 to
I don’t forget them.” I said. “You don’t 50 pairs of cows.”
—Brenda Erickson just start something —Lura Weaver
new and expect to This classified ad
No one is more pan- be good at it right away. from the automotive
icked than me when Derek Jeter didn’t just section of the East Bay
I call customer service start playing baseball Times of Walnut Creek,

58 november 2023 cartoon by Liana Finck/The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank
 Reader ’s Digest

Marriage is your spouse saying painted in saturated

shades of green, blue,
“I don’t like this show anymore,” and then
purple and yellow, and
you never find out how it ends. the path cutting through
—@mcdadstuff on X in the same colours.
It was stunning, and I
oohed and aahed as I
California, proves he monkeys around gazed at it. Until, that
successful sellers are with his watch, he ad- is, Susan gently took
optimists: “Honda: vises, “Never slap the the painting out of my
1999 Civic. Not run- pulpit wearing a smart- hand, turned it 180
ning, but was.” watch. It thinks you’ve degrees and said,
—L.S. fallen and need help.” “You’re looking at
—John Tierney it upside down.”
y morning
It’s a Sunday —Rose Jakubaszek
and our preacher is For my 50th birthday,
giving his sermon. my artist friend, Susan,
He’s animated, waving gave me one of her
his arms and slapping paintings of a winding Reader’s Digest will pay
the lectern. Suddenly, path through a forest. for your funny anecdote
or photo in any of our
he stops. It’s an abstract style, humour sections. Post it
“I’m sorry,” he says. with the trees twisted to the editorial address, or
“I have to do this.” As into all kinds of shapes, email: [email protected]

AGEING Relaxing in my bath-

DISGRACEFULLY
robe, toeing the fine
line between looking
20s me at a concert: like ‘60-year-old divorcee
rgr collection/alamy stock photo

“Woohoo!” at her best’ and ‘Tony

40s me at a concert: Soprano at his worst.’
“I’m surprised there’s — @BrotiGupta on X
grass on this field at
all. All this beer spillage An archaeologist is the
can’t be good for the Now that I’m in my 50s, best husband a woman
turf. Must be fescue. I some stuff takes me three can have. The older she
don’t think Bermuda or four fell swoops. gets the more interested
could take this abuse.” —Jeffrey Anbinder, he is in her.
—@benboven 1 ON X on top5list.com —Agatha Christie

readersdigest.in 59
Reader ’s Digest

60 november 2023
 INSPIRATION

The former ‘starchitect’

who designed gleaming towers
for Pakistan’s corporate elite
now rebuilds villages
devastated by natural disasters

YA S M E E N L A R I ’ S
CHANGE OF
HEART
By Lisa Murphy

as yasmeen lari looked out the car win- work before. Lari was filled with antici-
dow across the Siran Valley in north- pation after a two-hour flight from
eastern Pakistan, she grieved for what Karachi to Islamabad, Pakistan’s capital,
was no longer a lush vale with rolling followed by this five-hour drive.
green hills, trees and mountains. It was Darkness had fallen before her driver
October 2005, and the catastrophic pulled into a dimly lit army camp
earthquake that had killed some 79,000 where the military rescue operation
people in Pakistan, India and Afghani- was based; at 1,500 metres it was safer
stan a week earlier had reduced the from aftershocks and rock slides than
valley to mud and rubble. lower ground. When she stepped
The 65-year-old architect was there to out of the car she was taken to the
help lead the reconstruction of settle- commanding officer, who talked to
ments, but she had never done disaster her about the villages that needed

readersdigest.in 61
Reader ’s Digest

immediate help. The enormity of the projects for corporate elites. And
task ahead hit her full force. doing disaster-relief work felt
Lari, who had become Pakistan’s deeply right. So she made it
first female architect in 1964, was her new mission.
renowned for designing slick towers
of glass and concrete. But here, she’d over the decades, Yasmeen Lari
be drawing plans for earthquake- has won many awards and much
resistant homes using stone and tim- recognition as an architect,
ber debris. Working from a rough cot- social justice advocate, environ-
tage near the camp, she’d spend the mentalist and feminist. While it
next four months working with volun- may seem like an unlikely path
teer architects and engineers from for a girl who was born into a
Pakistan and abroad. well-to-do family in 1941, she
She would send her drawings with had an unconventional upbrin-
the volunteers, who walked through ging. Her father, Zafarul Ahsan,
difficult terrain to reach mountain was a progressive civil service
hamlets. There, they’d assist displaced officer working on development proj-
families with sorting debris and buil- ects in Lahore and elsewhere. Her
ding new and improved homes, even mother, Nabiun Nisa, valued education
as temperatures plunged and snow and took pride in her role as a bureau-
began to fall. crat’s wife who could ride a horse and
“You can’t imagine the desolation,” entertain guests with equal aplomb.
Lari recalls of those early days in Zafarul treated his three daughters
the mountains. Her team members, no differently from their brother, and
often the first to arrive on the scene, Nabiun encouraged them to do well in
were greeted with unexpected hospi- school. Lari became aware of politics
tality, given the circumstances. On one and poverty after Partition in 1947,
visit, villagers pulled out their best when Britain ended its rule of India
salvaged chairs and table. “They had and carved off a portion to create
lost everything,” she says. “But they Pakistan. Dividing the subcontinent
covered this damaged table with a into Hindu-majority India and
beautiful embroidered cloth. And then Muslim-majority Pakistan resulted in
they served us their World Food Pro- the displacement of millions.
gramme food: biscuits, tea and eggs.” Zafarul was made deputy commis-
With each passing day, Lari was sioner of Lahore, which included over-
re-engineering her identity—from seeing refugee camps and creating
‘starchitect’ to humanitarian. The residential areas. At home, he would
profession had been good to her, but talk about bereaved people, impove-
she had become disillusioned with rished women selling sweets to the rich

62 november 2023
 Inspiration

Left: Lari outside the women’s centre she designed in Sindh province. It was built to
withstand floods. Right: One of Lari’s sustainable shelters.

and the desperate need for housing. programme as one of only five women
“I understood for the first time that in a class of more than 30.
there can be adversity, and that people Protected by her family and her hus-
needed help,” says Lari. “My sisters and band, Suhail Zaheer Lari (who passed
I were the first post-colonial genera- away in 2020), Yasmeen Lari experi-
all photos courtesy of heritage foundation of pakistan

tion. Many women had played impor- enced little sexism or prejudice in Eng-
tant roles in the struggle for indepen- land. Even Karachi, where she started
dence. It followed that women should working after returning to Pakistan in
participate in nation-building.” 1964, was progressive. Building-site
Listening to her father talk about the contractors might test her mettle by
housing crisis and need for architects making her climb wobbly ladders in
made an impression on Lari. On a her sari, but her married status and
family visit to London when she was privileged background kept her mostly
15, she applied to architecture school insulated from discrimination.
at Oxford Brookes University. She Lari gained inspiration by exploring
laughs as she recalls her boldness. “I the historic areas of Pakistan. In
was young, and I didn’t have a portfo- Kashmir and Sindh she admired the
lio, so they told me to learn to draw and flood-resistant heritage buildings made
then come back.” with local materials to withstand
After two years of daytime and eve- extreme weather. And she loved the
ning classes, Lari was admitted to the winding streets and beautiful terraces in

readersdigest.in 63
Reader ’s Digest

Lahore and Multan. As architect in 2013, lari was giving a tour of a

for a Lahore social housing project village in the southern province of
in 1973, Lari listened to the local Sindh that had been rebuilt after
women and ensured that there were monsoon floods so destructive they
safe, open spaces to raise children and impacted some 200 lakh Pakistanis.
chickens alike. In a crisp white kameez and printed
Yet soon she heard the siren call of headscarf that fluttered in the
commercial projects—with their cre- breeze, she watched as villagers
ative freedom, large budgets and luxu- showed off the buildings she had
rious materials. From 1980 to 2000, as designed. “Our old buildings used
her buildings rose across Karachi, to leak when it rained, but these stay
including the Taj Mahal Hotel, the dry inside,” one villager told Lari.
Finance and Trade Centre, the Pakistan The new bamboo structures are
State Oil House and the ABN AMRO covered in a mix of sand and lime
Bank, Lari’s renown grew. She held called limecrete, which holds up
senior positions in national and inter- well in Pakistan’s climate. And
national architectural groups and was women can beautify their new
a keynote speaker at conferences. “It homes by painting designs on them,
was a very heady feeling,” she says. an aspect Lari loves.
Yet she found ways to stay grounded. Pakistan’s location and melting gla-
Lari and her husband, a historian, cre- ciers place it within the top 10 coun-
ated the non-profit Heritage Founda- tries most impacted by climate change
tion of Pakistan to celebrate and con- over the past two decades, even though
serve the country’s historic architecture, the country itself emits less than one
art and culture. Lari wrote papers and per cent of global greenhouse gases.
books on these themes and helped save Ironically, rebuilding projects funded
several prominent buildings. by government and non-governmental
But it wasn’t enough to offset her organizations tend to use concrete,
growing discomfort with corporate burnt brick, metal sheets and other
projects. In 2000, Lari retired. expensive, non-local building supplies.
“I realized I was just working with Lari points out that the creation and
rich people,” she says. She could no transport of these materials contrib-
longer justify fashioning buildings out utes significantly to greenhouse gas
of unsustainable materials like pol- emissions, with concrete being one of
ished granite and mirrored glass when the worst offenders. Furthermore, they
corruption was rising and millions had don’t perform well in severe weather.
limited access to housing, sanitation In contrast, Lari’s shelters, inspired
and water. “Perhaps with my present by traditional designs and made with
work, I am atoning,” says Lari. sustainable materials such as reed

64 november 2023
 Inspiration

The Zero Carbon Cultural Centre in Makli, Pakistan’s biggest bamboo structure, was
built by Lari’s Heritage Foundation.
matting, bamboo, mud and lime that labour. Also, funds are often siphoned
are sourced locally first, can better away via administrative fees.
withstand disasters. Bamboo homes on “I have seen too much mismanage-
stilts allow water to flow through, while ment when intermediaries are
cross-bracing provides strength and involved,” says Lari, who favours wor-
flexibility during earthquakes. Lari’s king at the community level. “These are
insistence on low-cost, zero-waste and the people who need me.”
zero-carbon buildings reflects her Lari says this local, cost-effective,
commitment to the planet. participatory and zero-carbon
While her passion for sustainability approach is helping create an ecosys-
has grown over the years, her faith in tem of ‘barefoot entrepreneurs’. For
traditional relief funding and charity example, she has created a programme
models has withered. Over two that teaches impoverished people in
decades she has learnt that the Sindh province to construct buildings,
approach typically used by government and to create and sell mud bricks,
and non-governmental organizations bamboo panels, terracotta tiles and
alike doesn’t work well. Locals are other building materials.
treated like helpless victims, and mega- Anyone can learn by watching DIY
projects are developed using outside videos on Lari’s Zero Carbon Channel

readersdigest.in 65
Reader ’s Digest

Left: Building a Pakistan Chulah (smokeless cookstove). Right: The final result.

on YouTube. Also, workshops led by Skilled workers share their knowledge,

local experts and artisans are held at a creating more prosperity.
training centre in Pono Markaz and at Women and youth gather at the cen-
the beautiful, airy Zero Carbon Cul- tre to socialize and learn. “The women
tural Centre in Makli. Built by locals are uppermost in my mind,” says Lari.
and Lari’s Heritage Foundation of “They are the ones who really suffer.”
Pakistan, the latter is the biggest bam- This feminist inspiration has fuelled
boo structure in the country. many of Lari’s designs, which now
The town of Makli is located about include household innovations. For
100 kilometers east of Karachi. Almost instance, more than 80,000 of her
half the people in the region live in limecrete and smokeless cookstoves,
poverty, and many beg at the nearby called Pakistan Chulahs, have been
Makli Necropolis, a UNESCO World built and decorated by villagers.
Heritage Site with its nearly 5 lakh The device, which won a UN World
tombs and graves. A day’s worth of Habitat Prize in 2018, costs about $10
alms might be 100 Pakistani rupees— [`832] to make and is fuelled with agri-
equivalent to 50 cents [`30] and not cultural waste. The stoves stand higher
enough to feed a family. But when than flood levels, making them safer
locals learn to create and sell tiles, than smoky, open cooking fires on the
organic soap and other products at the ground; they literally and figuratively
Zero Carbon Cultural Centre, they lift women up.
make at least four times that much. Another one of Lari’s designs that

66 november 2023
 Inspiration

benefits both women and the sity’s department of architecture.

environment is a composting For the Islamic Arts Biennale in
private eco-toilet shelter. About Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, earlier this year
10 per cent of Pakistanis lack a she created three stunning bamboo
toilet or latrine and must seek mosques that can be dismantled and
privacy outside. The eco-toilet reassembled. In 2020 she won the Jane
provides better sanitation and Drew prize for raising the profile of
hygiene, and more dignity. women architects and, in 2023, the
Lari’s Holistic Villages project coveted Royal Institute of British Archi-
builds on all these advances to tects (RIBA) Gold Medal. Even King
help villages become self- Charles is a fan; one of her shelters can
sufficient. At a cost of about be found on his Highgrove estate.
$200 [`16,645] per household, Lari insists that anyone who wants to
villagers can build disaster- help the impoverished and flood-
resilient bamboo houses, affected in Pakistan should connect
chulahs and shared eco-toilets. They with village leaders to help fund things
have access to solar-powered lights, like water pumps, solar panels and
assistance to produce their own school computers. (The Heritage Foun-
food and training to start their dation of Pakistan offers information
own businesses. about how to do this.)
Lari says about 60,000 zero-carbon “It’s no longer a matter of giving
holistic houses have been built since money and cleaning your conscience—
2010. Next, she wants to scale up—and you need to create connections,” says
rehabilitate 10 lakh households. Lari. “We need to believe in people’s
capacity to bring about change. I treat
in 2022, floods struck again, destro- displaced people as partners, not vic-
ying crops, homes and villages and tims. They know what to do.”
displacing about 330 lakh people, At age 83, Yasmeen Lari is still fizzing
many of them already below the pov- with ideas about zero-carbon designs,
erty line. Lari and the Heritage Founda- flood mitigation, skills building and
tion organized artisans to supply self-sustaining villages. As she said
another of her innovations: prefabri- when she accepted the RIBA medal, the
cated bamboo walls for 3.5-by-3.5- honour “has strengthened my mission.”
metre quick-assembly shelters. Many young architects have told her
Lari now travels regularly from her that they find her work inspiring, which
base in Karachi to Makli, to events gratifies her. “Architects can no longer
around the globe and to the United work for just the 1 per cent,” she says.
Kingdom, where she holds a visiting “That doesn’t allow them to serve
professorship at Cambridge Univer- humanity as much as they could.”

readersdigest.in 67
Reader ’s Digest ANIMALS AND US

The
Company

Cats
of

Despite a reputation for being wily, mysterious and aloof,

domestic felines have long woven themselves into our
art, literature and language across the years

BY B. N. Goswamy

S
68 november 2023
trictly speaking, I am not a cat
lover. But, somehow, they have
stayed in my awareness. When
a stray one sneaked into our
house once, for instance, and
Apu, my son, took to her, cold
and shivering as she was when
she came in. He fed her, gave
her a name—Katja it was, if I
remember aright—and, after
returning from school, he
would talk to her first, ahead of
anyone else at home. It was a
few years before we shifted
home and she decided against
moving. As simple as that.
 museum of art and photography, bangalore, acc. no. pop.01712

Reader
Animals

readersdigest.in
’s Digest
And Us

69
Reader ’s Digest

«
Then, years later, I had a faintly bris-
tly encounter with a whole pride of cats (From previous page)
at the home of a dear friend in Zurich: A CAT WITH A STOLEN CRAYFISH
Ursula Dohrn. She loved cats, had Painted woodcut, Bengal, from a
many of them, and they had all become Kalighat workshop; circa. 1900;
members of her family. Whenever I by an unknown artist
went to visit her, they were there, natu- While this could be a genre image—both
rally and everywhere. For me it was not fish and cats abounding in Bengal—of
a massive cat having gotten away with
easy and, almost complainingly, I once
a crayfish, it could also be a satire on
told Ursula during a visit how hard it the doings of ‘holy men’. Satires on men
was to find a quiet moment with her and manners were a prominent part of
without the cats participating in the Kalighat work, and here the artist could
conversation. Quickly, Ursula shot be targeting a segment of Vaishnavas:
back. ‘You are an art historian, the vertical U-shaped tilak mark on the
Brijinder, are you not? Then, you should forehead is a giveaway, for one thing, as
love cats: all art historians do.’ is the predatory look in the eyes of
the animal herself, of course!
It was a bit later that I became
involved with the idea of cats. Sanskrit «
scholar, C. Sivaramamurti, happened to
bring up two terms in the course of a THE TRAPPED CAT AND THE
conversation that had the Sanskrit word FRIGHTENED MOUSE
for cats—marjara—built into them: Folio from a manuscript of the
Kalila wa Dimna. Possibly from
marjara-nyaya and marjara-vrata. Sultanate Gujarat; second quarter
There was talk, in the context of of the16th century
Vaishnava bhakti or devotion, about Classics like the Panchatantra and the
different ways through which a devotee Buddhist Jataka tales, going long back in
approaches his ishta deity. Marjara- time, lived lives of their own not only in
vrata refers to how the young one of a India but in different versions in different
cat—marjara—approaches God. Briefly lands. They were modified, shortened or
put, ‘marjara-nyaya refers to the behav- lengthened, even recast, and appeared
under different names. Based broadly on
iour of kittens, who are likely to wander.
the Panchatantra, there appeared one in
The mother cat picks them up by the Arabic entitled Kalila wa Dimna. In India,
scruff of the neck and carries them probably in some corner of Gujarat, a copy
wherever she wants them to be. The kit- was made, bearing 78 paintings. Here, in
ten makes no effort but arrives safely by a folio, a cat is shown with other animals
surrendering to the mother’s protective who feature in the story A Mouse, a Fox or
grasp. It is up to the devotee, then, to Jackal, and an Owl. What exact roles do
choose: to keep making an effort to they play in the complicated story? For
that, one will have to go to the text.
cling for succour to his deity, or to sur-

70 november 2023
readersdigest.in
Animals And Us

the metropolitan museum of art, new york; gift of alice and nasli heeramaneck, acc. no. 1981.373.81

71
 Reader ’s Digest
francesca galloway sales catalogue

STRANGE HAPPENINGS IN A SPRAWLING HOUSEHOLD

Company style, possibly Calcutta; circa. 1850
Bizarre things happen here. Inside a home, a middle-aged man is seen twice: once
down below and again on the roof with his barber; a couple make an accusatory
gesture at a gardener thumbing his nose at them; a clownish figure bends in a strange
stance. In the courtyard next door some Muslims pray; a dark-skinned man massages
his body; and two ‘Chinese-looking’ men and two donkeys stand. In this mayhem
a cat appears twice: once on the roof with a mouse she has just hunted, and, again,
when one of the Chinese men offers her to the other. What all this amounts to—unless
it is a visual nonsense rhyme—is hard to fathom. The cat must be wondering too.

72 november 2023
 Animals And Us

THE TREACHEROUS CAT

Folio from a manuscript of the
Anwar-i Suhayli, Mughal; 1604–10
When the Panchatantra,was translated into
Persian, changes were naturally made. The copy
prepared for Jahangir had a story in which a
treacherous cat entered. Projecting herself as
having turned pious and neutral, the cat sat in
judgement in a dispute between a partridge and
a quail, and helped herself by eating up both of
them. The moral of the story? Never trust a cat.

render to him completely.

Even more fascinating was the
british library, add ms. 18579

use of the term marjara-vrata. It

stands simply for ‘a cat-like
observance’, but the term is not
neutral. It really has come to
stand for ‘concealing one’s mal-
ice or evil designs under the garb
of piety or virtue’. In an episode of

readersdigest.in 73
Reader ’s Digest

CAT IN THE
AYODHYA PALACE
Folio from the
Freer Ramayana,
Mughal, circa. 1600
The scene is from a
folio of the Ramayana,
translated into Persian
and now known as
freer–sackler gallery, washington, dc; 1907.272.102, vol. i, folio 102

the Freer Ramayana.

What we see here takes
one by surprise—two
cats (or is it one seen
twice?)—animals hardly
ever associated with
the great epic. Bharata
and Shatrughna, Rama’s
brothers, have arrived
and learn of Rama having
been exiled in their
absence. They break
down and cry piteously,
as do the three ‘mothers’,
and the women of the
royal household. But the
cat/s jumping about in
the background? Agitated
by a recollection of the
event, perhaps? Or stirred
by the deep emotions
they are witnessing?

the Mahabharata, Duryodhana charges like for cats. There are superstitions
even the noble Yudhishthira with around her figure, and stories go on
observing the marjara-vrata, repeatedly. being repeated. But no fatwas have been
Clearly, the cat had come to stand for passed; no papal bulls issued. Great
‘hypocrisy’ and the opprobrium seems poets like Mir and Ghalib loved their cats
to have endured. to distraction; Vikram Seth saw her as full
Interestingly enough, however, in our of mischief and cleverness but no evil.
land at the same time there is no real dis- On a daily basis, the feline is ‘addressed’

74 november 2023
 Animals And Us

almost with affection. ‘She’—and one passed on from generation to genera-

speaks of cats as being feminine, for that tion, cats were loved.
is how the animal is most commonly The view in Islam apart, there were
referred to in our daily parlance: billi or also instances of great respect, and use,
bilari, for instance, or mousi, mother’s for cats in certain quarters. At the Sri
sister, when stories about ‘her’ are told— Venkateswara temple at Tirumala, the
has an irresistibly engaging human civet cat has been bred for generations
aspect: thinking, working things out, get- on account of the fragrance derived from
ting into situations and out of them, its ‘punugo’ secretion that comes from its
entertaining conflicting thoughts all at perineal gland which is used for the
the same time. However, from most of abhishekam ceremony of the Lord to
the stories she emerges—broadly spea- whom the temple is dedicated. It is
king—in a somewhat negative light. She another matter that a case is being fought
may not have been seen as an embodi- in a higher court whether the temple has
ment of perfidy all the time, but she is the right to breed these cats on its prem-
scheming, even thieving. And, interest- ises while the animal falls under the
ingly, the reader is always invited, all the Wildlife Protection Act. In Bengal and
entertainment apart, to take something Odisha, one of the deities widely wor-
from each story involving a cat: a moral, shipped by women, especially those who
an advice, another look at the world are pregnant, is Shashti who has a cat for
around ourselves. Superstitions began— her vehicle. She is the protectress of
a bit naturally—clustering around her small children. In major parts of North
figure: to see a cat first thing in the morn- India, the belief persists that if you kill a
ing is inauspicious, for instance; if a black cat by mistake, the only way to atone is to
cat crosses your path, you must turn back get a cat image cast in gold or silver and
or else ... and so on. make an offering of it at a temple.
At the same time, however, the exact With all these practices and beliefs
opposite of this view of cats, was also around, are there—a fair question—
around: that cats are God’s creatures to inconsistencies in our attitude towards
be respected if not quite revered. The cats, in the view we take of them? But in
Buddhists were fairly partial to cats in our land inconsistencies are nothing to
general. But a considerable part of this be surprised about: we live with, even
view stemmed from Islam—which was thrive on, them. One reminds oneself of
very much at home in our land from a contradictions being a natural human
point of time onwards—in which, fol- condition. In a country as large and as
lowing old traditions, as in the Hadith diverse as India, coexistence is the rule
where stories and incidents connected rather than an exception.
to the life of the great Prophet, who had EXCERPTED WITH PERMISSIONS FROM THE INDIAN CAT: STORIES,
PAINTINGS, POETRY AND PROVERBS, BY B. N. GOSWAMY, ALEPH
a fondness for cats, were preserved and BOOK COMPANY

readersdigest.in 75
Reader ’s Digest

76 november 2023
 HOW TO

G E T A LO N G
I
W HT
A NYONE
Whether you get cornered by a
chatterbox or embarrassed by a jokester,
you can turn things in your favour

By Rosemary Counter

while politely making small talk at a Reasons and retorts flooded my

baby shower, my day was ruined in one mind—deep-rooted doubts about my
fell swoop. “Ooh, are you expecting?!” maternal capabilities, fear of climate
asked a family friend, eyeballing my change, “just fat, thanks” or perhaps a
body up and down. I sheepishly shook well-chosen expletive. Instead, I mur-
my head, instantly regretting both my mured something about being busy at
party dress and my ample plate of work and excused myself to mope for
mini-sandwiches. Then, just when I the rest of the afternoon.
thought this conversation couldn’t get I’ve since recovered emotionally,
worse, it did: “Well,” she asked ear- though I sometimes daydream of a
nestly, “why not?” do-over. What should I have said to such

illustrations by Clayton Hanmer readersdigest.in 77

Reader ’s Digest

a nosy question from such a rude

person? And how about all those other,
um, challen-ging personalities we have
to converse with whether we want to
or not? Just in time for the festive sea-
son, I asked experts about how to deal
with the trickiest, tackiest, meanest and
most maddening personalities—with
nary a single insult hurled.

THE COMPLAINER
You know the type: This restaurant is too
expensive, the music is too loud, my
burger is overdone and I can hardly taste ture. Get them talking about what’s
it anyhow because I’m probably coming really bothering them, if you can, and
down with something. As Saturday then challenge their negative narrative
Night Live’s famous Debbie Downer wherever possible with questions about
sketch goes: Whaa, whaaaaa. But the what’s good, fun and exciting in their
Complainer in real life isn’t so funny. lives. The old adage still applies, says
“This is a person who thinks life’s Carrington: “You’ve gotta kill ’em with
unfair to them,” says Jody Carrington, a kindness and hope it rubs off.”
psychologist and author of Feeling
Seen: Reconnecting in a Disconnected THE CONTRARIAN
World. Nobody’s that bummed out by You say it’s a nice day out; they say it’s
a burger; they’re down about other, big- too hot. You read a good book; they
ger things and are letting it out on spe- thought it was terrible. You mention
cific, controllable things like what’s on they contradict everything you say;
their plate, not to mention the unfortu- they say, “No, I don’t!”
nate server who dared to deliver it. “A Contrarian is someone who likes
How to deal with this good-mood to argue,” explains Mónica Guzmán,
thief? “If you want to interact better author of I Never Thought of It That
with these people, it starts with empa- Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious
thy,” says Carrington. (This sentiment Conversations in Dangerously Divided
is true for all tricky personalities, but Times. “Sometimes this is fun, but other
it’s especially hard with a Complainer.) times it’s aggressive and unpleasant. The
Start by removing the small stuff from Contrarian can’t always tell the differ-
the equation—let them choose their ence.” So while you’re arguing the issue
favourite restaurant, for example—so at hand, they’re arguing for the argu-
you can both focus on the bigger pic- ment itself—so they win every time.

78 november 2023
 How To

How can you better brave this battle? stealer. They identify with whatever
Since a Contrarian only wants to spar, you’re saying and then barf out a story
choose your battles. For anything incon- about themselves,” she says.
sequential, “the most disarming way to It feels as if the Chatterbox is con-
handle a Contrarian is to say you agree stantly trying to one-up you, but that’s
with them,” says Ian Leslie, argument not necessarily true. They could be
expert and author of Conflicted: Why socially anxious, uncomfortable with
Arguments Are Tearing Us Apart and silence or just extra passionate and excit-
How They Can Bring Us Together. This able. But whatever the reason, they
doesn’t mean you need to lie; try “I probably don’t even notice they do this,
agree with you on that” to something nor understand the deeper reason why.
small and specific, or “I can definitely “Particularly in kids, Chatterboxes
see your point” if you legit don’t agree could just as easily be called connec-
on a single thing. Then change the topic. tion seekers,” says Carrington. “That’s
When you want to stand your all they’re after, but they’re not giving
ground, you can move the Contrarian you the chance to connect back, so
beyond their default defence position they talk even more.” And because
by becoming a more nuanced oppo- they’re chatting a mile a minute, you
nent. “You can sometimes get them off might not notice until you’re irked on
the opinion showdown by asking them the drive home, having realized all your
for their story or experience with mat- stories were hijacked.
ter,” says Guzmán. Asking “How did Next time, try the phrase you’d least
you come to believe that?” or “Has that expect: “Tell me more.” Says Car-
ever happened to you?” can move a rington: “Choose a topic and let them
conversation away from a competition exhaust it. Ask them questions, follow
of opinions and toward a personal up and really listen.”
perspective. You might learn that you Once the Chatterbox has run out of
value their opinion after all. things to say, their need to be heard has
been met, so now it’s your turn. Jump
THE CHATTERBOX in with something like “I just love all
If you can’t ever seem to finish a story your stories, and I have one for you
or sentence, chances are you’re face to too.” For once, the floor is yours.
face with a Chatterbox. Despite the
adorable moniker, they can be a frus- THE TECH ADDICT
trating bunch, says communication Socially, few things are more annoying
expert Sandy Gerber, author of Emo- than someone who repeatedly checks
tional Magnetism: How to Communi- their phone in the middle of your con-
cate to Ignite Connection in Your Rela- versation. Soon enough, you may be
tionships. “The Chatterbox is a story projecting sulky thoughts their way, says

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Carrington, like: I’m boring you. You’re No family is immune to political dif-
more concerned with whatever’s on that ferences, though Guzmán has a par-
phone than me. You don’t care about me. ticularly complicated case: She’s the
Ouch. liberal daughter of Mexican immi-
Just remember, the Tech Addict’s grants who voted for Donald Trump
annoying habits aren’t about you. twice, and naturally they want to dis-
“It’s rude, for sure, but sometimes we cuss differing politics over dessert.
mistake the behaviour for more than Like the Contrarian, the Political
what it is,” says Leslie. “It’s very possi- Antagonist loves to argue, only they’ve
ble they’re just nervous or anxious.” It’s got a great big endgame of changing
also possible their partner is stranded your mind. They can’t, and won’t,
with a flat tire or their kid is sick. The change theirs, and neither will you,
point is, you don’t know. because you’re both passionate about
So before you hastily rage at the Tech your politics—which is exactly why
Addict’s blatant rudeness, focus instead they’ve singled you out for a fight. Sigh.
on building a better conversation than Turn that bad thought good, how-
whatever is going down on Instagram. ever, by remembering that they chose
But you might never get there, given the you because they consider you a
power of today’s clickbait, so if you’re worthy intellectual opponent and
close enough to a person, Carrington cannot operate without you. “If they’re
advises you to cheekily ask: “What’s on your adversary, you’re probably theirs
that thing that’s so alluring?” Chances too,” Guzmán says.
are they’ll apologize and sheepishly tuck Politics and religion used to be
the phone away. And if the answer is hard no-go zones of polite conversa-
something real, talk about it. tion, but not so anymore—and that’s a
Better yet, avoid the situation in good thing. “Heat in a conversation is
advance by saying something like “I’m good,” says Guzmán. “It means you’re
so interested in catching up properly, exposing yourself to different points
how about we leave our phones in the of view, and you’re learning and chal-
car?” If they indeed have that flat tire or lenging each other.”
sick kid, you won’t have to assume it’s How can you avoid a pointless
because your stories are boring. squabble? “The line is personal hosti-
lity, and don’t cross it,” says Leslie. If
THE POLITICAL ANTAGONIST you’re even nearing that boundary,
Oh boy. This person’s ideology is turn down the dial. If your sparring
fundamentally different from yours. partner is getting angry or aggressive,
They’ve read the news (and/or the dark try Guzmán’s suggestion to de-escalate:
web) and, as usual, they’re ready and “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that this
eager to rumble. mattered so much to you.”

80 november 2023
 How To

You could continue with “Tell me

more,” if and only if a more productive
conversation feels possible. But if it’s
just too heated, a distraction makes for
an excellent exit strategy. Try “Time for
pie! Apple or pumpkin?” (Because we
can all agree on pie.)

THE INAPPROPRIATE
JOKESTER
Every family has one, so let’s call him
Uncle Bob: He’s loud and brash, his
opinions haven’t changed since the
’80s, and just as you’re happily passing But you don’t have to declare
the sweet potatoes around the dinner Uncle Bob a despicable racist and
table, he decides now’s a good time to insist he change his ways this instant
drop a totally inappropriate joke. (he won’t). “Saying ‘Uncle Bob, that’s
There are three possible explanations not OK,’ ” as Guzmán suggests, says in
for the faux pas. “Inappropriate jokers few words everything that everyone is
are either blind to their prejudices, trying thinking. Or try Wisner’s phrasing:
to be controversial, or intolerant of other “That sounds racist to me. I know you
points of view,” says Chuck Wisner, don’t mean that.” The jokester is
author of The Art of Conscious Conversa- unlikely to double down with “I do,
tions: Transforming How We Talk, Listen actually, as I’m very racist.”
and Interact. None justify discrimination. If the comment is so inflammatory
Now, this is awkward. Should you that it sparks further conversation, be
feign a chuckle to keep the peace or careful to critique the joke, not the per-
make a scene and confront Uncle Bob son, and to frame your criticism as your
for his (racist, sexist, classist, homo- own. Wisner suggests saying, “To me,
phobic) ‘joke’? Naturally, it depends. that joke is offensive, and let me tell you
“If a person who represents that why.” This could be a good chat for later,
particular group is present, you probably when Uncle Bob is calm and alone,
need to intervene because it’s the right when there’s time for a deeper but non-
thing to do,” says Guzmán. You should confrontational conversation about
say something both for that person’s what’s really going on. “There’s some-
dignity and to avoid your eternal guilt thing in every bad joke that says ‘I’m
from being a silent bystander—a situa- frustrated but I can’t say it,’ ” says
tion that often hurts the offended person Guzmán. If you can get Uncle Bob to let
as much as the joke does. it out, hopefully he’ll do better next year.

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Reader ’s Digest

THE DRAMA QUEEN

“The Chatterbox on steroids,” in
Carrington’s words, the Drama Queen
(or King) is someone who similarly
dominates the conversation, chatting
your ear off about all the wild things
you will never believe are happening in
the “Worst. Week. Ever!” The boring
details of your week, meanwhile, can’t
possibly compare, so don’t even try.
Why do some people love drama?
“This person’s always exaggerating
because they want to be the centre of you’re sticking around for the real
attention,” says Gerber. The more they her—no drama required.
do this, the more we pull away from the
over-the-top emotions of a life in con- THE FRENEMY
stant crisis. “We tend to avoid them Though all these personalities are
because keeping up with the drama is difficult, none is more so than the
an energy sucker,” says Carrington. Frenemy—that is, someone equal parts
“But this only means they’ll turn it up. friend and enemy—a relationship phe-
They’ve often exhausted the people in nomenon so subtle, personal and com-
their lives and are therefore coming on plicated that sometimes you have to be
even stronger.” in it to know it’s there.
The Drama Queen desperately wants “I call this a see-saw friendship,” says
your attention and she’s also terrified Gerber, “because there are highs and
she’ll lose it, hence the show she’s put- lows and you never know what you’re
ting on in hopes you’ll never look away. going to get.” One day your friend is fun
Resist the urge to cut her off and and fab and a blast to be with, while the
instead set some boundaries you can next she is low-key mad or mean—and
both stick to. “Be really clear in advance you have no clue why.
about what you’re willing and not Except really you know exactly why:
willing to do,” says Carrington. “The Frenemy is a passive-aggressive
Maybe this means you’ll talk about person motivated by their perceived
her ex for 20 minutes but no more. Or lack of value, and they’re rolling their
maybe it means you reschedule lunch eyes at anything that you have or do
until a “week when you’re feeling bet- that feels like it’s undervaluing them,”
ter.” She might be mad in the moment, says Gerber. To feel better about them-
but the Drama Queen secretly loves the selves, the Frenemy is desperate to
regular-person treatment that shows knock you down a little bit at a time.

82 november 2023
 How To

When dealing with a Frenemy, you a difference of standards about what

have to protect yourself first. “These topics of conversation are OK,” says
people are almost firing arrows at you,” Wisner. “What they consider to be
says Wisner. “So you can dodge the acceptable, need-to-know information
arrow, you can let the arrow pierce and is different from what it is for you.”
hurt or offend you, or you can catch the At the same awkward time, the Over-
arrow and stop it.” Options A and B are sharer is only trying to get closer to
easy in the moment, but C is the brave you by revealing more about them-
choice if you want things to change. selves—and hoping you’ll be similarly
To start a difficult conversation, forthcoming. “We tend to label these
Wisner suggests saying, “That doesn’t people as nosy, invasive or rude,” notes
feel sincere to me. Did you mean that?” Gerber, “but they really just want to be
That might address a particular jab, liked and accepted.”
but if you actually want to fix and save To satisfy the Oversharer, and simul-
the friendship—and maybe you don’t— taneously veto endless TMI, consider
you’re going to need to dig deeper. sharing something else—still personal
“These people are highly competi-tive but less invasive, ideally—that satisfies
on the surface, but underneath they’re their urge to connect. When they really
insecure, hurt and highly distrustful,” cross the line, don’t be shy (they’re
says Gerber. To turn a frenemy into a not). Say something that indicates your
real friend, you’re going to have to open boundary is being crossed. “OMG,
up and talk about it. “Tell them what that’s private!” says everything, and
you’re looking for in a friendship and you’ll never have to bring it up again.
what you’re willing to offer,” she says. A compliment also works wonders
“But if they can’t or won’t have that con- with an Oversharer, adds Gerber,
versation, well, that’s your answer.” because it refocuses the conversation
in their direction while subtly resetting
THE OVERSHARER your boundary.
Unsolicited commentary about some- To my nosy family friend who com-
one’s sex life, their recurring rash, their mented on the state of my uterus, for
BFF’s messy divorce or whatever just example, I could have given this wise
happened in the bathroom (yuck) are response: “You made having kids look
all clues you’ve got an Oversharer on so easy! How’d you do it?” Then nod
your hands. Whether they’re telling and smile, nod and smile.
too much or asking for details you’re I won’t get my baby shower do-over
not comfortable sharing, this all- in this life, but at least next time I’ll be
too-common persona has neither filter ready to face an Oversharer—or any
nor boundaries. of the challenging people it takes
“The discomfort you feel comes from to make a world.

readersdigest.in 83
 BONUS READ

Splendid
84
Isolation
november 2023
 Reader ’s Digest

Vestrahorn mountain
is the backdrop for
Stokksnes beach.

On a visit to Iceland, I discovered an

photo: ©getty images

island of primal landscapes and enigmas—

and a sense that you are never alone
By Douglas Kennedy
from le figaro

readersdigest.in 85
Reader ’s Digest

It was 5 a.m. over an airport called Keflavík. It was dark.

It was wet. There was an edgy wind that made my flight’s
touchdown from Boston one of those Hail Mary moments where
even a non-believer like myself asks for divine intervention.
None was needed. The Icelandair the 50 kilometers into Reykjavík. I
pilots negotiated this fleeting exis- couldn’t help but think that arriving
tential crisis with aplomb—as if such in pre-dawn blackness, with the rain
epic, crazed crosswinds were the sheeting down like something out
usual welcome home. of Nordic film noir, was the perfect
An hour later, still in the dark start to my August 2021 journey into
and relieved that I had resisted al- geographic isolation.
cohol during the last three hours of Travel is always freighted with ex-
the flight—owing to Iceland’s low pectations. Coming to this distant
tolerance for booze in your system outpost of human habitation—a
when driving—I was behind the one-time Danish dependency whose
wheel of a rented car, negotiating nearest landmass was that cartologi-
cal tabula rasa called Greenland—I
didn’t know what I would find in
this vast, underpopulated (3,76,000
inhabitants) subarctic island nation
whose global position and its co-
habiting arrangement with the EU
made it the balcony of Europe.
What I didn’t expect to encoun-
ter, as I approached the fringes of its
capital, was a traffic jam, one of
those vast automotive blockages that
stretched to the edge of vision. Hav-
ing sped along at 90 kilometers per
hour on the dual carriageway from
the airport, I suddenly found myself
in Reykjavík’s morning rush hour.
photo: max kennedy

Absolute gridlock. A long, slow slog

towards the city centre. It took almost
Douglas Kennedy is an American an hour to travel the last 10 kilome-
writer and novelist; he has sold more ters to my hotel.
than 15 million books worldwide. What did I see as I crept along to

86 november 2023
 In Iceland, twilight is a drawn-out dying of the light. Pictured above: Reykjavík.

my destination? All the totemic signs and big box stores, I couldn’t help but
of global monoculture. The usual think: Is nowhere in the world free of
fast-food outlets. The usual shopping the ferociously neutralizing hand of the
centres. Offices blocks with neon signs consumerist multi-national?
informing you that here were far-flung

E
outlets of international finance and ventually I reached my hotel.
banking. Suburban houses. Tower I found a parking spot right out-
blocks in rather pristine condition; side its door. “You are lucky,” the
possibly the Reykjavík variations of woman behind the desk said. “Park-
low-income housing. ing in central Reykjavík is impossible.”
And, in the midst of this modern- I still had some hours before my
ist, concrete sprawl, a coagulation of room was ready. The receptionist di-
cars. Is there any better metaphor for rected me to The Sandholt right down
photo: ©getty images

the pitilessness of modern life than the street. “The best place for break-
a traffic jam? Arriving in such an in- fast in Reykjavík,” she said. “But you
accessible place and finding myself will have to queue.”
stuck in the usual Monday morning She was right: The queue lasted 30
nonsense, while passing the usual minutes. It was worth the wait. The
chicken and hamburger emporiums café was Scandinavian minimalist

readersdigest.in 87
Reader ’s Digest

chic. The coffee was sublime. They Subdued prosperity. A sense of urban
had their own bakery with dange- serenity and order and quietude, as
rously good bread and pastries. one would expect from a country that,
The rain had subsided outside, but until 2008, prided itself on its social
a boreal wind was blowing. Though democracy and communal calm.
winter was still some months off I But 2008 was the year when Iceland
could already feel it knocking on the lost its isolated innocence; when it
door, informing all comers: “This is witnessed the default of all three of
its major privately owned commer-
cial banks, following their difficul-
IN 2008, BANKRUPTCY ties in refinancing short-term debt. It
FOR THE ENTIRE triggered a run on its deposits in the
Netherlands and the United King-
NATION LOOKED LIKE dom. Relative to the size of its econ-
A REAL POSSIBILITY. omy, Iceland experienced what was
claimed to be the largest systemic
banking collapse in economic history.
Iceland … you can’t keep me away for There was a moment when bank-
long.” I drank my coffee and observed ruptcy for the entire nation looked
the couples at the other tables. All in like a serious possibility.
their 30s and early 40s, many with Where there had been stability and
children, with their edgy eyewear, de- a formidable social safety net, there
signer prams and a sense of discreet, was now massive insecurity as Ice-
non-ostentatious professional class land suddenly found itself in fiscal
money behind them. freefall, courtesy of the sort of cow-
I didn’t see anybody wearing a suit boy financial speculation that once
or carrying anything that hinted at se- seemed improbable in such a model
rious office work. In fact, I rarely saw of rectitude and communality.
formal business clothes on anyone in There were protests, many of which
Reykjavík. Maybe I wasn’t looking in turned angry. The prime minister’s
the right places—law offices, govern- car was pelted by eggs. Many citizens
ment buildings, banks. lost their entire financial foundation.
For all of the Icelandic capital’s A centre-left government came into
suburban sprawl, its centre was com- power, and the former prime minis-
pact and possessing a primary-colors ter was put on trial and found guilty
charm. Small back streets with small of one charge of failing to hold emer-
wooden houses. Upmarket boutiques gency meetings in the lead-up to the
selling Icelandic designers, outdoor crisis. In a very Icelandic move, he
gear, handicrafts and Swiss watches. didn’t go to jail.

88 november 2023
 The sky here was a moody, ever-changing cycle of grey irritability.

Fiscal stability was restored. Pru- And like so many of us here I am still
dence and pragmatism came back to dealing with its terrible after-effects.
the communal fore. But the shadow But life is about surmounting diffi-
of this near disaster, the sense of an- culties, isn’t it? Still, I feel we were all
ger and shame, is still there below seduced by the craziness of gamblers
the country’s calm surface. I discov- whom we mistakenly believed could
ered this on my first night in Iceland, line our pockets. We forgot our essen-
when I met a middle-aged university tial values as a country … and we paid
lecturer whom I’ll call Gunnar in a a price for that.”
Reykjavík bar. After sharing war sto- I mentioned the shock of all the fast-
ries about our respective divorces (as food and big-box detritus on the out-
one does over booze late at night), he skirts of Reykjavík. And the traffic jam.
mentioned that he lost a significant “Oh, I get it,” Gunnar said. “You
photo: ©getty images

part of his savings in the 2008 debacle. come here with the usual false im-
“What can I say?” he asked, mo- pressions of us being socialist Vikings,
tioning for the waiter to pour us two detached from the modern world.”
more local Flóki whiskies (at the I smiled and said: “Don’t we all
equivalent of 20 euros a shot). “I lost think in picture postcards?”
so much by trusting the speculators. To which Gunnar replied: “The

readersdigest.in 89
Reader ’s Digest

thing about Iceland is, 30 kilome- itinerary and gave me a curt warning:
ters outside of Reykjavík the modern “Even if you think you’ve got enough
world vanishes.” gas to get to the next town, always
fill up whenever you see a petrol sta-

A
ctually, it was about 20 ki- tion. Because, truth be told, you won’t
lometers out of Reykjavík see many of them outside of towns.
that I found myself becoming And as you will discover, towns tend
detached from contemporary reali- to be far apart here.”
ties. I was driving along a two-lane I glanced at the gauge on my dash-
road, traversing a landscape that board and saw that I had enough
reminded me of the west of Ireland gas to cover the 400 kilometers I was
in its austere verdancy and its craggy driving today. I still decided to fill up.
grandeur. Though it was late summer,
the temperature outside was around
nine degrees celsius and the sky
“EVEN IF YOU THINK
was a moody, ever-changing cycle YOU HAVE ENOUGH
of grey irritability. GAS, ALWAYS FILL UP
For almost an hour I passed only
one or two signs of human habitation:
WHEN YOU CAN.”
the occasional house, a rural shop.
Radio transmission quickly faded
away. The wonders of 4G signals also The gas station was a one-pump af-
faded in and out, meaning that any fair with a tiny store. A real middle
streamed music came and went: I had of nowhere place. An old man came
chosen Sibelius for the first part of out. He nodded gruffly then waited for
this journey—his Finnish melancho- my instructions.
lia so suited the bleak terrain. There “Fill it up please,” I said.
was something intriguingly distorted He did as requested. When the pet-
about the dark rhapsodic soundscape rol pump stopped at around 50 króna
of his Fifth Symphony—with its end- (five euros), he looked at me with
less struggle between darkness and world-weary incredulousness.
light—blasting for a time, then van- “Your tank was almost full.”
ishing as my little rented Toyota Yaris “I was just being prudent,” I said.
struggled up a hill, providing me with “ N o ,” h e s a i d , “ y o u w e r e
a sweeping vista of epic sullenness. being paranoid.”
I passed just one petrol station dur-

A
ing my first hours on the road. The la- geyser: A blast of hot wa-
conic guy at the car rental agency near ter that thermally explodes
the airport had asked me about my from the ground. An aquatic

90 november 2023
 Strokkur Geyser sends hot water blasting 20 meters upwards from terra firma.

eruption that has the potential to se- But all the bus people stood around
riously scald anyone standing close a large muddy mound. The flatulent,
by. In Strokkur, everyone was stan- subterraneous noises gave the im-
ding close by with their phones at the pression that it was having gastric
ready, awaiting the explosion. problems or a bad case of Tourette’s
I tend to dodge tourist spots, but in syndrome. And then, with one loud
Iceland certain natural phenomena whoosh, it burst into ecstasy, sending
made me put aside my determination water 20 metres into the air. People
to avoid insidious tour-bus groups immediately scattered.
with their selfie sticks. It would have I couldn’t help but think of one of
been foolish to miss the chance to see the most quoted of lines about sex,
photo: ©getty images

water blast upwards from terra firma. from Ernest Hemingway’s For Whom
Personally, I was more intrigued by the Bell Tolls: “He felt the earth move.”
the burbling brooks near the central In this instance that was the actual
geyser—the black earth and the low case. A fellow American standing near
grey afternoon brought to mind Bela me, in a reference to the famous U.S.
Lugosi’s Dracula from 1931. geyser Old Faithful, asked his wife:

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Reader ’s Digest

T
“Do you think that happens every he sun doesn’t go down with
hour on the hour?” a dark vengeance in Iceland.
To which the woman—large, formi- Twilight is a drawn-out dying
dable, and clearly carrying decades of the light. When night finally
of grievances—hissed in reply: “It’s falls, the narrow roads in the hinter-
Mother Nature, you idiot.” land (that is, everywhere outside of
Reykjavík) become even more lonely

A
crater in the earth—3,000 and truly eerie.
years old, 170 metres wide, I found myself in a modernist
55 metres deep. A seismic hotel in a tiny nowhere town of Vik.
gash, probably caused by a collapsed I sidestepped reindeer on the menu.
volcano. I walked its upper ridge, I ate arctic fish and drank overpriced
staring down into its vertiginous cav-
ern. I found myself thinking: One of
the many reasons we are drawn to ex-
FOR THOSE WHO LIVE
treme natural phenomena that plunge HERE, THERE’S A
into the earth—grottos, caves, the KNOWLEDGE THAT
Grand Canyon—is bound up in the
human preoccupation of the neth-
YOU’RE NEVER ALONE.
erworld being beneath us. The earth
from which mankind emerged and to
which we are all destined to return. Argentinian white wine and got
A vast gash in the earth is also a to talking with the waitress, an émi-
geophysical metaphor for the sub- gré from Poland. How did she find her
terranean hell to which the damned way from Kraków to this back of
are doomed—and where those who the back of beyond, a town with a
embrace its shadows are fated to supermarket, a gas station, this hotel,
be enveloped by its darker recesses. several low-lying modernist blocks
Orpheus follows Eurydice into the and little more?
underworld and loses the love he Graznya (not her actual name) told
so craves because he reneges on me that she was an artist; that she
Hades’s command not to turn back needed to run away from the popu-
and look at her. list realities and general erosion of
In caverns nothing good can tran- civil liberties in Poland; that Iceland,
spire, which is why we are drawn to with its cooperative agreement with
them. Staring down into this can- the European Union, gave her resi-
yon—known as the Kerid Crater—I dency and employment without bu-
began to understand why Norse sagas reaucratic hurdles; that she loved the
and myths are so damn primal. remoteness and visceral rush of its

92 november 2023
 Staring into the Kerid Crater gives one an idea of why Norse myths are so primal.
frequently hard landscape; that she As if reading my mind, she said: “I
knew where to “find myself in places know what you’re thinking: ‘She came
so remote, so raw, that I truly believe I to Iceland to flee her past. And now,
am not part of the shit of modern life.” having ended up at the end of the
She went on: “Yes, I live in a tiny world, will she fall off its edge?’ But
village. But I can be an artist here and one of the many good things about
make enough here to maintain a good this country is that as isolated as
life. I do this job a few hours a week we all are up here, there is a sense
and spend the rest of my time pain- that there are enough people loo-
ting and heading out into the wild. king out for you to ensure you don’t
And I am far, far away from the mad- tumble into the abyss. Not that I am
ness of Poland.” planning to do that!”
photo: ©getty images

I wanted to know more: Did her She went off to bring a couple at the
family or someone else in her life adjoining table their main courses.
cause her to flee Poland, to live so far Intr iguingly, that sense of a
off the grid? And what kind of temper- quiet-but-present social safety net
ament was required to live in such iso- in Iceland was confirmed by many
lation with all its cultural limitations? other outsiders I met during my

readersdigest.in 93
Reader ’s Digest

travels—Dutch, Bulgarians, Swiss, card the woman handed me. I was

and two more Poles. Living here is un- amused by this bit of modern tech-
derscored by the communal knowl- nological gate-keeping in the absolute
edge that regardless of its epic visual middle of nowhere.
loneliness, you were never alone. The road beyond was semi-paved
and dead-ended some kilometers

A
black beach. At the end of a away at a NATO post—a Cold War
narrow peninsula overshad- relic that was undoubtedly still being
owed by a hill with a Matter- used as a monitoring station at this
horn-like build. There was nothing complex geopolitical time. (Iceland,
in this southeast corner of Iceland by the way, is the only NATO member
except a little café and a very simple without any sort of standing army or
hotel for those wanting to hike in this military force.)
ultra-remote place. And a couple of I did a U-turn when I reached its
locals drinking beer in the early af- lightly barbed-wire confines and
bumped back along the road until,
at the far side, I suddenly saw what
THE EARTH looked like a series of dark hummocky
BENEATH MY FEET mounds of earth.
WAS BLACK SAND, I parked and walked toward the
round formations. My walking boots
PROBABLY VOLCANIC. began to make scrunching sounds. I
bent down and felt the earth beneath
me. It was granulated. It cascaded
ternoon. I ordered a hot chocolate. through my fingers. It was sand. Black
The owner—a woman in her fifties, sand. Probably volcanic in geologic
the very embodiment of the Icelandic origin. And those hummocky struc-
Earth-Mother type—told me: “If you tures were, in fact, sand dunes.
want to go to the black beach the road As I walked further from the un-
is private. So I have to charge you.” paved road, as I headed towards the
The fee was the equivalent of 10 choppy, arctic waters of the North
euros. I paid it. Atlantic, the black sand defined a ho-
“Why the charge for the road?” rizon that ended at a black sea.
I asked. This was a first for me. Though my
Madame Earth Mother rolled her peripatetic life has taken me to many
eyes and said, “Capitalism.” back-of-beyond places, I’d never felt
The gate—the sort that keeps live- so disconnected from the noise and
stock and wild animals from wan- detritus of the modern world as I did
dering—opened with the smart right now. Black sand and a black sea,

94 november 2023
 Akureyri is the only city at the top of Iceland; its population is less than 18,000.

capped by a sky of deep greyness. A their way to Akureyri? Every life is

geographic tabula rasa. indeed a novel.
In a rather stylish boutique I heard

T
he only city at the top of a truly ethereal young woman speak
Iceland is called Akureyri. “City” fluent Icelandic, then switch into
is a bit of a misnomer; Akureyri American-inflected English. A native
has a population of less than 18,000, of Los Angeles, she had “met a boy,”
which still makes it one of country’s as she ironically put it, who grew up in
biggest population centres. It has chic Akureyri and wanted to return home.
shops and a modern cultural cen- Jump cut to several years later and
photo: ©getty images

ter where Icelandic pop artists and here she was, the mother of two young
a Reykjavík production of Madame children, living in the far north of
Butterfly were due some weeks after Iceland and running her own empo-
I left. I even found a halal café and an rium of Icelandic style.
émigré community from the Middle “Coming here must have been quite
East. How on earth did they make the adjustment,” I said.

readersdigest.in 95
Reader ’s Digest

“Do I miss the blue skies of LA? my critical faculties, so I simply told
And the beaches? Sure. But there’s him that I was happy that he was
snow here seven months a year, happy here at the end of the world.
and I’ve come to love that. Just as Then I found my way up to my room
I am happy to be away from all the and passed out.
political extremism and craziness that When I woke hungover a few
is America today.” hours later, I threw on my clothes
The next night, sitting in a shabby and headed out into the morning
bar in a shabby hotel in a shabby chill. I crossed to the barn. A tum-
seaside town on the country’s west bledown structure, completely dark
coast—one of the few depressing inside. Clicking on the flashlight in
my iPhone, I found myself immedi-
ately blindsided.
THE MAN I DRANK Scrawled everywhere in white
WITH PROCLAIMED handwriting were indeed three words:
“THIS IS THE BEST I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive
you. I forgive you.
PLACE IN THE WORLD!” Was this some strange piece of
performance art? A post-modernist
practical joke? Or an actual declara-
places I’d been in my travels here— tion of forgiveness for some inflicted
the manager poured me a vodka and pain? And what possessed somebody
told me that in the morning I should to execute many hundred perfectly
walk to the back of the hotel and find penned “I forgive you’s” in this no-
a deserted barn, inside which some- where barn in this nowhere town?
one had written three words over and It was a wonderful riddle. Then
over. He wouldn’t tell me the words again Iceland likes its mysteries, its
or explain how or why they were enigmas—which, like its potently
scrawled there. He wanted me to see hypnotic terrain, play games with
it and draw my own conclusion. your sensibility and remind you of
I drank too much vodka with the your own insignificance in the larger
manager, a burly fellow in his six- metaphysical scheme of things.
ties who’d fled the Reykjavík finance In a world so stratified and wracked
world after the crash and was happily by ever-escalating extremism, Iceland
running this dive hotel. “This is the serves as a quiet, important reminder
best place in Iceland!” he proclaimed that socially responsible democracy
sometime after vodka number four. can re-emerge from the extremity
“This is the best place in the world!” of fiscal imprudence and that shared
The vodka was playing games with communal values are still considered

96
6 november 2023
 Bonus Read

In the deserted barn, someone had written the same three words over and over.

an important civic underpinning I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive

to quotidian life. you. I forgive you.
And yet, even way up here on a Crazed compassion and pardon in
windblown corner of Iceland’s west a forgotten barn. And the ultimate
coast, someone had taken the time to Iceland enigma.
proclaim, over and over again, mercy
LE FIGARO (30 DECEMBER 2021), COPYRIGHT © 2021
in the wake of evident agony. BY LE FIGARO MAGAZINE

Welcome, Autumn?
I love the autumn—that melancholy season that suits memories so well.
When the trees have lost their leaves, when the sky at sunset still preserves
photo: max kennedy

the russet hue that fills with gold the withered grass, it is sweet to
watch the final fading of the fires that, until recently,
burnt within you.
G U S TAV E F L A U B E R T I N MEMOIRS OF A MADMAN AND NOVEMBER

readersdigest.in 97
 LAUGHTER
The best Medicine

A man’s boat sinks,

and he washes up
on a deserted island.
He’s there for weeks
and losing hope when
a box labelled Rescue
Caveman Scrabble
Kit floats up onto the
Three conspiracy
beach. He tears it plumber. The other day
theorists walk into a bar.
open only to find I found a wrench under
You can’t tell me that’s
a deck of cards. the bed.”
just a coincidence!
“What kind of rescue Pat nods sympatheti-
—Gary Katz
kit is this?!” he cally. “I think my wife’s
says, sobbing. having an affair with a
Eventually, bore- Pat and his two friends horse. The other day I
dom overtakes him, are at a bar. His first came home and found
and he deals out a friend says, “I think my a jockey under the bed.”
game of Solitaire. wife’s having an affair — racehorsetalk.com.au
Suddenly, a man ap- with the electrician.
pears behind him. I found wire cutters This Thanksgiving
“Hey,” the man says, under our bed.” meal, skip the political
“put the red eight on His second friend chatter and go straight
the black nine.” says: “I think my wife’s to the jokes.
—Jordan Leturgez having an affair with the ✦ How many cooks
does it take to stuff
a turkey? Only one,
but you have to really
It’s crazy how your siblings actually
squeeze him in there.
have their own lives. I literally see ✦ What did the obste-
them as side characters in mine. trician say when
— @sharonszn_ On X Thanksgiving dinner
98 november 2023 cartoon by Bill DeMain
 Reader ’s Digest

guffawing: A man in wonderful here. Stores

is dilated to 3½ inches. East Germany was sent are full of good food,
Stuffing is crowning— to work in Siberia. He apartments are large
time to eat, everybody!” knew his mail would be and luxurious, movie
✦ What do you call read by censors, so he theaters show films
a turkey’s evil twin? told his friends, “Let’s from the West. The
A gobblegänger. establish a code. If a only thing you cannot
✦ What did the turkey letter you receive from get is red ink!”
say to the turkey hunter me is written in blue —Brian Rubinow
on Thanksgiving Day? ink, what I say is true.
“Quack, quack!” But if it is written in red
ink, it’s false.”
Reader’s Digest will pay
On 9 November After a few weeks, his for your funny anecdote
1989, the Berlin Wall friends receive a letter or photo in any of our
fell. Here’s a gag that written in blue ink. It humour sections. Post it
to the editorial address, or
had East Germans reads: “Everything is email: [email protected]

TIC-TAC-D’OH!
The Hollywood Squaress was a popular TV game show ran from 1966 to 1980.
SILVER SCREEN COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES (LYNDE). NOUN PROJECT (ARROW)

Celebrities would be asked questions and contestants had to decide if the answers
were correct or not. Our friends over at the Planet Proctorr newsletter shared
some of the least correct celebrity answers:

Q: True or false: Q: Do female frogs croak? Q: You’ve been having

A pea can last as Paul Lynde: If you hold trouble going to sleep.
long as 5,000 years. their little heads under Are you probably a man
George Gobel: water long enough. or a woman?
It sure seems that Real answer: Occasio- Don Knotts: That’s what’s
way sometimes. nally, but it’s mostly been keeping me awake.
Real answer: True. the male. Real answer: Woman.

Q: Which of your five Q: Back in the old days,

Q
senses tends to diminissh when Great-Grandpa put
w
as you get older? hoorseradish on his head,
Charlie Weaver: My what was he trying to do?
w
sense of decency. George Gobel: Get it
Real answer: Smell. in
n his mouth.
Reeal answer: Grow hair.

readersdigest.in 101
 RD RECOMMENDS

Films
ENGLISH To say
American singer-
songwriter Taylor
Swift’s fans in India
have long awaited
a live performance
by the musician
A still from Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour concert film
would be quite an
understatement. that span the different and Robin Hood—
But while desi ‘eras’ of her personal are epic sagas that
‘Swifties’ won’t life and music career. make it to most must-
be seeing the star in Director Ridley watch lists. This year
the flesh at least this Scott’s sweeping he tackles the polariz-
year, they can revel historical dramas and ing legacy of the 17th-
in the next best biopics—think Gladia- century French Em-
thing. Swift’s record- tor, Exodus: Gods and peror in NAPOLEON.
breaking THE ERAS Kings, The Duellists Building upon the
TOUR concert film monarch’s eventful
releases in India on life, the film stars
3 November, and if Joaquin Phoenix as
the 25,000 opening the lead character,
day advance ticket and Vanessa Kirby
sales and 85,000 as the Empress Jose-
tickets in total are phine. This is Phoe-
any indication, the nix’s second colla-
photo credit: (top) alamy

film is set to hit boration with Scott,

some new highs. having played the ty-
The 2.5 hour spec- rannical Roman em-
tacle will see Swift peror Commodus in
performing songs 2003’s Gladiator. The
from all 10 of her film releases in the-
released albums Joaquin Pheonix in Napolean atres on 24 November.

102
2 november 2023
 Reader ’s Digest

HINDI Starring Ashutosh Rana and

Tia Bajpayee, LAKEEREIN, dives into
the sensitive issue of marital rape and
consent within a marriage. Directed
by Durgesh Pathak, the film revolves
around Kavya, who moves to court in a
bid to seek justice against her spouse,
Vivek Damodar Agnihotri (Gaurav Cho-
pra). In her quest for emancipation, she
battles against both social stigma and a
flawed legal system with the support of
lawyer Geeta Biswas (Bidita Bag), who
is pitted against Dudhari Singh (Rana),
the defence lawyer for the husband. The
film comes to theatres on 3 November. Poster for the film Lakeerein

#WATCHLIST: of a blind French girl

0N OUR RADAR and her father, who flee
German-occupied Paris
with a legendary dia-
ALL THE LIGHT WE mond to keep it from
CANNOT SEE Based falling into the hands of
on the Pulitzer Prize- the Nazis. Releasing on
winning novel, this The cast of Rainbow Rishta
Netflix on 2 November.
groundbreaking limited RAINBOW RISHTA
series follows the story FOR ALL MANKIND Six members of the
This speculative sci-fi LGBTQ+ community
series reimagines his- come together in this
tory by asking what docu-series for candid
might have occurred conversations that
if the space race had explore the highs and
perpetuated beyond lows of finding and
the iconic moments of celebrating love within
the 20th century. The the spectrum of hu-
latest season of this man sexuality. On
A still from All the Light show is on AppleTV+ Amazon Prime from
We Cannot See from 10 November. 7 November.

readersdigest.in 103
Reader ’s Digest

Books
His Majesty’s Headhunters: The Siege Of
Kohima That Shaped World History, by
Mmhonlümo Kikon, Penguin

Surprisingly little is of this battle, which in- Scope Out

known about the siege volved the Japanese Survival At Stake: How
of Kohima, considered Army, led by Lieuten- Our Treatment of Animals
a game-changing ant General Sato, and is Key to Human Existence
event that altered the the Allied forces. A by Poorva Joshipura
course of world deeply researched (HarperCollins India):
history during historical account An activist makes clear
the Second that draws on re- the connections be-
World War. For- cords left by the tween key crises affect-
mer two-term officers and sol- ing us today and our
legislator in the diers who fought treatment of animals.
Nagaland Legis- in Kohima, this
lative Assembly, Kikon page-turner brings Forgotten Foods:
seeks to correct this to light the valour of Memories and Recipes
oversight. Providing the Naga ‘headhunt- from Muslim South Asia
a unique perspective ers’, who made the (Picador): This collection
of Nagaland and its supreme sacrifice to of essays, anecdotes, and
warriors, the book un- protect the honour recipes deliver a unique
earths the real history of their people. blend of food and
culture writing, history
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE ... and literature, all in one.
The Secret of More, by Tejaswini
Apte Rahm, (Aleph Book Company) The White Shirts of Sum-
In her debut work of fiction, mer: New and Selected
Apte Rahm traces a journey Poems by Mamang Dai
of relentless ambition, stead- (Speaking Tiger): The
fast love, and grim betrayal, set award-winning poet’s
against the backdrop of colonial Bombay. In a new collection tackles
story that travels from the clatter of textile mills the environment, land-
to the glamour of the silent film industry, from scape and the tribal tra-
the crowded chawls of Girgaon to the luxury of ditions of the North East.
sea-facing mansions, one man and his family
discover the darker truths that follow success. —COMPILED BY ISHANI NANDI

104 november 2023

 STUDIO

The Bellwether
by Christopher Taylor
Silver gelatin print,
70 x 70 cm,
2014
The glassy eye off the
sheep fixes the viewer
with its penetrating
gaze. With its bristly
muzzle, flared nostrils,
bushy side-whiskers and
horn set against the dark
backdrop, this Forystufe
ram, or leader sheep, is a
quintessential part of the
ruggedly beautiful Ice-
landic landscape dotted
with volcanoes, glaciers,
bogs, moors, meadows pher, Christopher Taylor, The image of the
and fjords. In spite of the on Iceland. Taylor usually sheep has a fey quality
country’s modernity, the carries around his heavy that is so much in keep-
people take pride in its studio camera, but for this ing with the image of
traditions and customs, image he relied on his the country where many
and the Icelandic sagas. almost 60-year-old Rollei- still believe in elves and
photo credit: christopher taylor

Tourism is big, but fish- flex. Taylor, who lives in trolls and other mythical
ing and raising live- France, has worked beings. It also resonates
stock—mainly sheep— extensively in India and with the writings of Ice-
still contribute to China. Currently, he is land’s Nobel prize win-
its economy. holding an exhibition ning author, Halldór
This compelling black- of his Icelandic photo- Kiljan Laxness, when,
and-white photograph is graphs or Steinholt series in the 1950s, it was
part of the extensive work at Flaran Abbey, near still a pastoral land.
of the English photogra- Toulouse, France. — BY SOUMITRA DAS

readersdigest.in 105
 It Happens

ONLY IN INDIA

CARTOON BY RA JU EPURI. (RIGHT) IMAGE CREDIT @AMBACKERMANN ON X

“Sorry for the inconvenience ... heavy traffic outside!”

A Power Snap Back that had been caught scorpion, or crocodile

Sink your teeth into in one of the farmer’s during the night, with
this: Tired of acute fields.The farmers’ de- no electricity. The
power cuts, farmers mand: Regular three- crocodile was later
in Karnataka’s Hubli phase power supply to rescued by forest offi-
brought a crocodile ensure proper irriga- cials and released into
to the premises of the tion to agricultural the Almatti River. How-
state-run Hubli Elec- fields. They also report- ever, we hear the farm-
tricity Supply Company edly questioned the ers are still awaiting
(HESCOM)! Hoping to HESCOM regarding the their deliverance from
slither in an edge to steps the organization their power troubles.
their protest, they would take if someone
sources: indiatoday.com,
dragged in the reptile was bitten by a snake, indianexpress.com

106
6 november 2023
 Reader ’s Digest

Top of the Class

Dr Philipp Ackermann,
the German ambassa-
dor to India and Bhutan
probably couldn’t be-
lieve his eyes, when he
chanced upon an adver-
tisement in his morning
newspaper for a “mega
gathering of India’s
leading boarding
schools”. According to
the ad, the Bellevue
Palace, the German
President’s seat of The Bellevue Palace, which was misrepresented as an Indian
power, was indicated to boarding school. Now, if only, wishes were horses.
be a boarding school
open to Indian parents the great Indian rope Bruhat Bengaluru Mah-
and their wards. Flag- trick. Disappearing anagara Palike (BBMP)
ging up this gross error, bus stands are not new officials decided to
the ambassador jest- to the city—in 2015, move the shelter to a
ingly pointed out that Doopanahalli bus stop warehouse on 25 August
“here, no child will be near Horizon School out of concern for pub-
admitted”. If only the disappeared overnight. lic safety with Reddy’s
folks running this two- And earlier in 2014, a knowledge. But why did
day affair replete with 20-year-old bus stop officials from the firm
“eye-opener seminars”, went missing in BEML responsible for the in-
had kept all of their fac- Layout III Stage, Raja- stallation file a mislead-
ulties intact and done rajeshwarinagar. So, ing theft complaint?
some basic research! naturally the case gen- The plot thickens!
source: indianexpress.com erated much buzz on
source: businesstoday.in, deccan-
social media. N. Ravi herald.in
A Stainless Steal Reddy, the associate —COMPILED BY NAOREM ANUJA
A newly installed bus vice president of the
stop on Cunningham firm responsible for the Reader’s Digest will pay
Road, Bengaluru, stood installation of the stand, for contributions to this
column. Post your sugges-
in its place for a week filed a missing shelter tions with the source to the
before disappearing into report and the police editorial address, or email:
thin air—not unlike got working. Turns out, [email protected]

readersdigest.in 107
 REVIEW

Troubled The Walking Dead, or

more recently, Squid
Nicobar Islands, an un-
likely group of doctors,

Waters
Game, Manifestt et al. administrators, lawmen
Most of these, however, and civilians fight for
involve either supernat- their collective survival.
A deftly made survival- ural powers or elaborate, Off this basic premise,
drama, Kaala Paani lays conspiracy-theory cabals Kaala Paanii unfurls a
bare human strength pulling the strings. A series of enthralling
and frailty during crises believable, grounded character studies that
petri-dish scenario— probe at the human ca-
By Aditya Mani Jha just flawed, ordinary pacity for vulnerability,
people chaffing against unconditional empa-

S ome of the best-

known and most-
discussed TV shows
each other for survival—
is threading the needle
in screenwriting terms.
thy—but also pettiness,
deception and cold-
blooded utilitarianism.
of the 21stt century de- And that’s exactly what Two exceptional
pend upon a ‘petri-dish Kaala Paani, Netflix’s performances lead the
scenario’ for dramatic new drama series way: Mona Singh as
tension—desperate has achieved. Dr Soudamini Singh
individuals trapped When a new infectious and Ashutosh Gowariker
PHOTO: NETFLIX

in constrained spaces, disease, marked by the as Lt Gov. Zibran Qadri.

forced to either work appearance of a dark The tough-as-nails Dr
together or perish sepa- rash, threatens to rip Singh spearheads the
rately. Think of Lost, apart the Andaman and administration’s med-

108 november 2023

 Reader ’s Digest

ico-investigative ef-
f is also on their A-game: mentioned ‘pulley
forts—she has a pros- Marathi rising star Amey problem’ scene was
thetic foot and does not Wagh delivers a flawless one example; at a diffe-
suffer fools gladly. Those performance as Ketan rent point the parable
last two attributes are Kamat, the corrupt cop of the frog and the scor-
something of an affec- who has been trans- pion is also rolled out.
tionate tribute to the ferred to Andaman as It doesn’t always work
character of Dr House a ‘punishment posting’. at the screenplay level
from the eponymous TV What he wants, there- (comes across as too di-
show (played by Hugh fore, is what every single dactic at times) but the
Laurie), a similarly person the island sud- writers have clearly done
‘grouch with a heart of denly wants—escape. their homework, and
gold’ doctor and diag- Only, Ketan has the it’s heartening to see
nostic savant. The cas- power and the cunning an Indian Netflix show
ting of Gowariker (who to make it happen for displaying this sort of
we haven’t seen acting himself. How does such ambition in the writers’
in a long time now) is a an avowedly selfish man room. It’s reminiscent of
masterstroke, because behave once he has gen- the novel Sophie’s World
he slips under Dr Qadri’s uinely fallen in love? by Norwegian writer Jos-
skin effortlessly. As the Kaala Paanii asks this tein Gaarder, where the
head of the government intriguing question and narrative’s central mys-
in Andaman, he knows offers counter-intuitive tery is backed by a series
that the buck stops with answers. Sukant Goel of essayistic musings on
him. He has to be strong as tourist guide Chiru the history of philosophy.
and decisive but he can- is reminiscent of Manoj By now, there have
not afford to be a tyrant; Bajpayee in certain been several Indian TV
he knows that there’s no scenes, so convincing is shows and films that
shorter route to failure his dialogue delivery. have tried to depict the
in a sensitive situation I was amused, also, harrowing reality of the
like this. Gowariker by the show’s relation- pandemic years. Not
walks this tightrope with ship with philosophy. one of them, however,
aplomb, and a clip from On several occasions, has been as well-written
one scene in particular, the characters talk about or as technically flawless
where he’s explaining philosophical paradoxes as Kaala Paani. This is,
the classic ‘pulley prob- or thought experiments in my opinion, the finest
lem’ to an audience, or belief systems, in Indian show of the year
has already become a order to flesh out the and possibly one of the
social media favourite. dilemmas in front of best the desi makers have
The rest of the cast their eyes. The afore- produced yet.

readersdigest.in 109
 Brain

GAMES
Sharpen Your Mind




PATHFINDER BY LOUIS-LUC BEAUDOIN; SWEET TREAT BY FRASER SIMPSON

Pathfinder
medium Trace a path through
the labyrinth, entering and ex-
x
iting by the arrows shown.

Sweet Treat
easy The dessert table at the birthday party has 12 cupcakes in three different fla-
vours: chocolate, caramel and vanilla. Nine of the cupcakes are chocolate or caramel,
and eight are caramel or vanilla. How many caramel cupcakes are there?

110 november 2023

 Reader ’s Digest

No Big Deal
difficult Each playing card’s position depends on the two cards directly above it.
Which card should appear at the bottom? Hint: They were dealt from a single deck.
NO BIG DEAL AND ON THE FLIPSIDE BY DARREN RIGBY; (PLAYING CARDS ILLUSTRATION) İńŎŕŌŐįʼnŅʼnňŌŎ /GETTY IMAGES

On the Flip Side

medium When the four
shapes shown are flipped
over into the central white
space, they form a square …
with a hole in it. What is the
shape of the hole?

For answers, turn to PAGE 112

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Reader ’s Digest

BRAIN GAMES
SUDOKU ANSWERS
BY Louis-Luc Beaudoin FROM PAGES 110 & 111

Pathfinder

8 7 9


1 3 4


7 4
4 3 6 Sweet Treat
5.
2 4 6 5
No Big Deal
3 8 2 9 Each card is the sum
of the two numbers
9 3 2 immediately above it;
black cards have a posi-
5 6 7 tive number and red cards
have a negative number.
9 1 6 Therefore, the sum of
seven of clubs (+7) and
the four of hearts (-4) is
+3. The three of clubs
To Solve This Puzzle
has already been laid,
Put a number from 1 to 9 in
so the missing card must
each empty square so that:
SOLUTION be the three of spades.
3 6 5 4 1 9 8 2 7
Ê every horizontal row and 4 8 9 7 3 2 1 6 5
vertical column contains all 1 7 2 8 5 6 3 9 4 On the Flip Side
nine numbers (1-9) without 9 1 4 2 8 5 6 7 3
repeating any of them; 5 3 7 6 4 1 9 8 2
6 2 8 9 7 3 5 4 1
Ê each of the outlined 3 x 3
8 5 6 1 2 4 7 3 9
7 4 3 5 9 8 2 1 6
boxes has all nine numbers, 2 9 1 3 6 7 4 5 8
none repeated.

112 november 2023

 9. labyrinth
WORD POWER n.(‘la-br-inth)
a path
b maze
By Zeus! Many tales and figures of Greek c misunderstanding
mythology live on in everyday words. Con-
sider echo (for the nymph doomed to repeat 10. hector v.(‘hek-tr)
others’ words), eroticc (out of Eros, the god a call
b bully
of love) or even cloth (Clotho, the Fate who c ignore
spun the thread of life). Finish this odyssey,
then turn the page for the answers. 11. psyche n. (‘sigh-kee)
a singer
b actor
By Mary-Liz Shaw c soul

1. tantalize v. 5. heliotropic adj.

12. stentorian adj.
(‘tan-tuh-lighz) (hee-lee-oh-’troh-pik)
(sten-’tor-ee-uhn)
a dream a brightly lit a dictatorial
b tease b powerful b extremely loud
c inspire c sun-following c stretched out

2. zephyr n. 6. nemesis 13. mnemonic

(‘zeh-fr) n. (‘neh-muh-sis) n.(nuh-’mah-nik)
a gentle west wind a flatterer a memory device
b light touch b archrival b confusion
c quick turn c secretary c funny anecdote

3. Sisyphean adj. 7. iridescent adj. 14. aegis

(si-suh-’fee-uhn) (ihr-ruh-’deh-snt) n.(‘ee-juhss)
a constant and ineffective a rainbow-hued a influence
b difficult b uncomplicated b patronage
c worthwhile c many-sided c accident

4. halcyon adj. 8. lethargy 15. hedonist n.

(‘hal-see-uhn) n.(‘leh-thr-jee) (‘hee-duh-nist)
a sugary a lack of energy a patriot
b secretive b anxiety b pursuer of pleasure
c idyllically calm c perception c athlete

readersdigest.in 113
Reader ’s Digest

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

From the root phobia—associated with Phobos, the god of
fear—springs a whole host of Greek-derived terms such as
agoraphobia (fear of public spaces) and its companion enochlo-
phobia (fear of crowds). Critter creepies include arachnophobia
(fear of spiders), entomophobia (fear of insects) and the all-encompassing zoo-
phobia (fear of animals). Of course, if you suffer from phobophobia (fear of pho-
bias), you’ll probably avoid plumbing the depths of human fears in the first place.

Word Power 6. nemesis (b) archrival 12. stentorian

ANSWERS At Reichenbach Falls,
Sherlock Holmes con-
(b) extremely loud
Jerry celebrated victory
fronted his nemesis, with a stentorian whoop
1. tantalize (b) tease Professor Moriarty. that echoed throughout
The fresh pastries in the the arena.
bakery window tanta- 7. iridescent
lized passing joggers. (a) rainbow-hued 13. mnemonic
The emerald ash borer, (a) memory device
2. zephyr (a) gentle a beetle with iridescent HOMES is a helpful
west wind green wings, is native to mnemonic for the
The desert willow’s northeastern Asia. Great Lakes: Huron,
leaves fluttered in the Ontario, Michigan, Erie
evening zephyr. 8. lethargy (a) lack and Superior.
of energy
3. Sisyphean (a) con- Lucas had a lot of trouble 14. aegis (b) patronage
stant and ineffective shaking off his lethargy Artists worked under
Lawmakers tackled after his long flight. the aegis of the humani-
the Sisyphean task of ties council.
balancing the budget. 9. labyrinth (b) maze
Trying to exit this hospital 15. hedonist
4. halcyon is like finding your way (b) pursuer of pleasure
(c) idyllically calm out of a labyrinth! I’m usually disciplined,
Who doesn’t long but I live like a hedonist
for the halcyon days 10. hector (b) bully while on vacation.
of childhood? Afrin intervened when
ANTAGAIN/GETTY IMAGES

she saw teenagers hector

5. heliotropic the kindergartners.
(c) sun-following Vocabulary Ratings
Heliotropic flowers shift 11. psyche (c) soul 9 & below: Hero
position throughout the War takes a toll on 10-12: Titan
day to face the sun. the human psyche. 13-15: Olympian

114 november 2023

 headquartered outside
TRIVIA of the United States?

9. Which continent is
BY Beth Shillibeer home to the Bellingsha-
usen Sea, Terre Adélie
1. What innocent-sound- 6. What object accounts and Dome Fuji?
ing computer virus infec- for nearly half of the esti-
ted more than 45 million mated 80,000 tonnes of 10. By 2100, climate
machines in 2,000, impac- plastic in the Great Pacific change will result in
ting banks, businesses and Garbage Patch, the largest five per cent more
governments globally? accumulation of ocean of what dazzling
plastic in the world? optical phenomenon?
2. What American pop
star invented a keyboard/ 7. Researchers recently 11. Opioids are naturally
guitar hybrid dubbed concluded that halluci- produced in the human
the Purpleaxxe? nogenic drugs were body. True or false?
used by Bronze Age Euro-
3. What semi-aquatic ani- peans based on traces 12. What multinational
mal is the only living mam- found in what archaeolo- e-commerce company,
mal species that lays eggs, gical evidence? now valued at more than
other than the echidna?
US$1 trillion, was nearly
8. What is the world’s called Cadabra before
4. Which one of the follo- largest tech company the founder switched
wing public figures is not to the firm’s current
vegan: Ariana Grande, the name in 1994?
Dalai Lama or Benedict
Cumberbatch?
13. The red-billed
quelea, the world’s
5. Earlier this year, what most populous wild
US city hired a director bird, is infamous for
of rodent mitigation, a destroying crops on
position nicknamed which continent?
the ‘rat czar’?
CTRPHOTOS/GETTY IMAGES

phins, are produced in the brain and help control pain. 12. Amazon. 13. Africa.
snow and more rain in many parts of the world. 11. True. Endogenous opioids, such as beta-endor-
nets. 7. Hair. 8. Samsung, in South Korea. 9. Antarctica. 10. Rainbows, due to there being less
Answers: 1. The Love Bug. 2. Prince. 3. Platypus. 4. The Dalai Lama. 5. New York City.6. Fishing

readersdigest.in 115
Reader ’s Digest

A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

Safe Harbour by Julia Breckenreid, exclusively for Reader’s Digest

116 november 2023