DO YOU WANT A FRIEND?

J. C. RYLE
 DO YOU WANT A FRIEND?

CANT. V. 16. “This is my Friend.”

Reader,
The year is fast rolling away. Christmas is once more coming
round. There will be the old family gatherings. There will be the
annual meeting of friends. And how will Christmas find you? Have
you a friend?
A friend is one of the greatest blessings on earth. Tell me not of
money. Affection is better than gold. Sympathy is better than lands.
He is the poor man who has no friends. Have you a friend?
This world is full of sorrow, because it is full of sin. It is a dark
place. It is a lonely place. It is a disappointing place. The brightest
sunbeam in it is a friend. Friendship halves our troubles and doubles
our joys. Have you a friend?
A real friend is scarce and rare. There are many who will eat, and
drink, and laugh with us, in the sunshine of prosperity. There are few
who will stand by us in the days of darkness, few who will love us
when we are sick, helpless, and poor, few, above all, who will care
for our souls. Have you a real friend?
Reader, do you want a real friend? I write to recommend one to
your notice this day. I know of one “who sticketh closer than a
brother.” (Prov. xviii. 24.) I know of one who is ready to be your friend
for time and for eternity, if you will receive Him. Hear me, while I try
to tell you something about Him.
The friend I want you to know is Jesus Christ. Happy is that
Christmas party in which Christ has the foremost place!

I. Do you want a friend in need? Such a friend is the Lord Jesus

Christ.
 Man is the neediest creature on God’s earth, because he is a
sinner. There is no need so great as that of sinners. Poverty, hunger,
thirst, cold, sickness, all are nothing in comparison. Sinners need
pardon, and they are utterly unable to provide it for themselves. They
need deliverance from a guilty conscience, and the fear of death,
and they have no power of their own to obtain it. This need the Lord
Jesus Christ came into the world to relieve. “He came into the world
to save sinners.” (1 Tim. i. 15.)
We are all by nature poor dying creatures. From the king on his
throne to the pauper in the workhouse, we are all sick of a mortal
disease of soul. Whether we know it or not, whether we feel it or not,
we are all dying daily. The plague of sin is in our blood. We cannot
cure ourselves, and are hourly getting worse and worse. All this the
Lord Jesus undertook to remedy. He came into the world “to bring in
health and cure.” He came to deliver us “from the second death.” He
came “to abolish death, and bring life and immortality to light through
the Gospel.” (Jer. xxxiii. 6. Rev. ii. 11. 2 Tim. i. 10.)
We were all by nature imprisoned debtors. We owed our God ten
thousand talents, and had nothing to pay. We were wretched
bankrupts, without hope of discharging ourselves. We could never
have freed ourselves from our load of liabilities, and were daily
getting deeper and deeper involved. All this the Lord Jesus saw and
undertook to remedy. He engaged to “ransom and redeem us.” He
came to “proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the
prison to them that are bound.” “He came to redeem us from the
curse of the law.” (Hos. xiii. 14. Isa. lxi. 1. Gal. iii. 13.)
We were all by nature shipwrecked and cast away. We could never
have reached the harbour of everlasting life. We were sinking in the
midst of the waves, shiftless, hopeless, helpless, and powerless; tied
and bound by the chain of our sins, foundering under the burden of
our own guilt, and like to become a prey to the devil. All this the Lord
Jesus saw and undertook to remedy. He came down from heaven to
be our mighty “helper.” He came “to seek and to save that which was
lost,” and to “deliver us from going down into the pit.” (Psa. lxxxix.
19. Luke six. 10. Job xxxiii. 24.)
Could we have been saved without the Lord Jesus Christ coming
down from heaven? It would have been impossible, so far as our
eyes can see. The wisest men of Egypt, and Greece, and Rome
never found out the way to peace with God. Without the friendship of
Christ we should all have been lost for evermore in hell.
Was the Lord Jesus Christ obliged to come down to save us? Oh!
no! no! It was His own free love, mercy, and pity that brought Him
down. He came unsought and unasked, because He was gracious.
Reader, think on these things. Search all history from the beginning
of the world. Look round the whole circle of those you know and
love. You never heard of such friendship among the sons of men.
There never was such a real friend in need as Jesus Christ.

II. Do you want a friend in deeds? Such a friend is the Lord Jesus
Christ.
The true extent of a man’s friendship must be measured by his
deeds. Tell me not what he says, and feels, and wishes. Tell me not
of his words and letters. Tell me rather what he does. “Friendly is that
friendly does.”
Reader, the doings of the Lord Jesus Christ for man, are the grand
proof of His friendly feeling towards him. Never were there such acts
of kindness and self-denial as those which He has performed on our
behalf. He has not loved us in word only but in deed.
For our sakes He took our nature upon Him, and was born of a
woman. He who was very God, and equal with the Father, laid aside
for a season His glory and took upon Him flesh and blood like our
own. The Almighty Creator of all things became a little babe like any
of us, and experienced all our bodily weaknesses and infirmities, sin
only excepted. “Though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became
poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.” (2 Cor. viii. 9.)
For our sakes He lived thirty-three years in this evil world, despised
and rejected of men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.
Though He was King of kings, He had not where to lay His head.
Though He was Lord of lords, He was often weary, and hungry, and
thirsty, and poor. “He took on him the form of a servant, and humbled
himself.” (Philipp. iii. 7. 8.)
For our sakes He suffered the most painful of all deaths, even the
death of the cross. Though innocent and without fault He allowed
Himself to be condemned, and found guilty. He who was the Prince
of Life was led as a lamb to the slaughter and poured out His soul
unto death. He “died for us.” (1 Thess. v. 10.)
Was He obliged to do this? Oh! No! He might have summoned to
His help more than twelve legions of angels and scattered His
enemies with a word. He suffered voluntarily and of His own free will,
to make atonement for our sins. He knew that nothing but the
sacrifice of His body and blood could ever make peace between
sinful man and a Holy God. He laid down His life to pay the price of
our redemption. He died that we might live. He suffered that we
might reign. He bore shame that we might receive glory. “He suffered
for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God.” “He
was made sin for us, who knew no sin: that we might be made the
righteousness of God in him.” (1 Peter iii. 18. 2 Cor. v. 21.)
Reader, such friendship as this passes man’s under-standing.
Friends who would die for those who love them, we may have heard
of sometimes. But who can find a man who would lay down his life
for those that hate him? Yet this is what Jesus has done for us. “God
commendeth his love, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died
for us.” (Rom. v. 8.)
Ask all the tribes of mankind from one end of the world to the other
and you will nowhere hear of a deed like this. None was ever so high
and stooped down so low as Jesus the Son of God. None ever gave
so costly a proof of His friendship. None ever paid so much, and
endured so much to do good to others. Never was there such a
friend in deed as Jesus Christ!

III. Do you want a mighty and powerful friend? Such a friend is

Jesus Christ.
Power to help is that which few possess in this world. Many have
will enough to do good to others, but no power. They feel for the
sorrows of others and would gladly relieve them if they could. They
can weep with their friends in affliction, but are unable to take their
grief away. But though man is weak, Christ is strong. Though the
best of our earthly friends is feeble, Christ is almighty. “All power is
given unto him in heaven and earth.” (Matt. xxviii. 18.) No one can
do so much for those whom he befriends as Jesus Christ. Others
can befriend their bodies a little. He can befriend both body and soul.
Others can do a little for them in time. He can be a friend both for
time and eternity.
He is able to pardon and save the very chief of sinners. He can
deliver the most guilty conscience from all its burdens and give it
perfect peace with God. He can wash away the vilest stains of
wickedness, and make a man whiter than snow in the sight of God.
He can clothe a poor weak child of Adam in everlasting
righteousness, and give him a title to heaven, that can never be
overthrown. In a word, He can give any one of us peace, hope,
forgiveness, and reconciliation with God, if we will only trust in Him.
“The blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin.” (1 John i. 7.)
He is able to convert the hardest of hearts, and create in man a
new spirit. He can take the most thoughtless and ungodly people
and give them another mind by the Holy Ghost which He puts in
them. He can cause old things to pass away, and all things to
become new. He can make them love the things which they once
hated, and hate the things which they once loved. “He can give them
power to become the sons of God.” “If any man be in Christ he is a
new creature.” (John i. 12. 2 Cor. v. 17.)
He is able to preserve to the end all who believe in Him, and
become His disciples. He can give them grace to overcome the
world, the flesh, and the devil, and fight a good fight to the last. He
can lead them on safely in spite of every temptation, carry them
home through a thousand dangers, and keep them faithful, though
they stand alone and have none to help them. “He is able to save
them to the uttermost that come unto God by him.” (Heb. vii. 25.)
He is able to give those that love Him the best of gifts. He can give
them in life inward comforts which money can never buy, peace in
poverty, joy in sorrow, patience in suffering. He can give them in
death bright hopes, which enable them to walk through the dark
valley without fear. He can give them after death a crown of glory,
which fadeth not away, and a reward, compared to which the Queen
of England has nothing to bestow.
Reader, this is power indeed. This is true greatness. This is real
strength. Go and look at the poor Hindoo idolater, seeking peace in
vain by afflicting his body, and after fifty years of self-imposed
suffering, unable to find it. Go and look at the benighted Romanist
giving money to his priest to pray for his soul, and yet dying without
comfort. Go and look at rich men spending thousands in search of
happiness, and yet always discontented and unhappy. Then turn to
Jesus and think what He can do, and is daily doing for all who trust
Him. Think how He heals all the broken-hearted, comforts all the
sick, cheers all the poor that trust in Him, and supplies all their daily
need. The fear of man is strong. The opposition of this evil world is
mighty. The lusts of the flesh rage horribly. The fear of death is
terrible. The devil is a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
But Jesus is stronger than them all. Jesus can make us conquerors
over all these foes. And then say whether it be not true, that there
never was so mighty a friend as Jesus Christ.

IV. Do you want a loving and affectionate friend? Such a friend is

Jesus Christ.
Kindness is the very essence of true friendship. Money and advice
and help lose half their grace if not given in a loving manner. What
kind of love is that of the Lord Jesus toward man? It is called “a love
that passeth knowledge.” (Ephes. iii. 19.)
Love shines forth in His reception of sinners. He refuses none that
come to Him for salvation, however unworthy they may be. Though
their lives may have been most wicked, though their sins may be
more in number than the stars of heaven, the Lord Jesus is ready to
receive them, and give them pardon and peace. There is no end to
His compassion. There are no bounds to His pity. He is not ashamed
to befriend those whom the world casts off as hopeless. There are
none too bad, too filthy, and too much diseased with sin, to be
admitted into His home. He is willing to be the friend of any sinner.
He has kindness and mercy and healing medicine for all. He has
long proclaimed this to be His rule: “Him that cometh unto me I will in
no wise cast out.” (John vi. 37.)
Love shines forth in His dealings with sinners, after they have
believed in Him and become His friends. He is very patient with
them, though their conduct is often very trying and provoking. He is
never tired of hearing their complaints, however often they may
come to Him. He sympathizes deeply in all their sorrows. He knows
what pain is. He is acquainted with grief. In all their afflictions He is
afflicted. He never allows them to be tempted above what they are
able to bear.
He supplies them with daily grace for their daily conflict. Their poor
services are acceptable to Him. He is as well pleased with them as a
parent is with his child’s endeavours to speak and walk. He has
caused it to be written in His book, that “He taketh pleasure in His
people,” and that “He taketh pleasure in them that fear him.” (Psalm
cxlvii. 11; cxlix. 4.)
Ah! reader, there is no love on earth that can be named together
with this. We love those in whom we see something that deserves
our affection, or those who are our bone or our flesh. The Lord Jesus
loves sinners in whom there is no good thing. We love those from
whom we get some return for our affection. The Lord Jesus loves
those who can do little or nothing for Him compared to what He does
for them. We love where we can give some reason for loving. The
great Friend of sinners draws His reasons out of His own everlasting
compassion. His love is purely disinterested, purely unselfish, purely
free. Never, never was there so truly loving a friend as Jesus Christ.

V. Do you want a wise and prudent friend? Such a friend is the

Lord Jesus Christ.
Man’s friendship is sadly blind. He often injures those he loves by
injudicious kindness. He often errs in the counsel he gives. He often
leads his friends into trouble by bad advice, even when he means to
help them. He sometimes keeps them back from the way of life, and
entangles them in the vanities of the world, when they have well nigh
escaped. The friendship of the Lord Jesus is not so. It always does
us good and never evil.
The Lord Jesus never spoils His friends by extravagant indulgence.
He gives them everything that is really for their benefit. He withholds
nothing from them that is really good. But He requires them to take
up their cross daily and follow Him. He bids them endure hardships
as good soldiers. He calls on them to fight the good fight against the
world, the flesh, and the devil. His people often dislike it at the time
and think it hard. But when they reach heaven they will see it was all
well done.
 The Lord Jesus makes no mistakes in managing His friends’
affairs. He orders all their concerns with perfect wisdom. All things
happen to them at the right time, and in the right way. He gives them
as much of sickness and as much of health,—as much of poverty
and as much of riches, —as much of sorrow and as much of joy, as
He sees their souls require. He leads them by the right way to bring
them to the city of habitation. ( Psal. cvii. 7.) He mixes their bitterest
cups like a wise physician, and takes care that they have not a drop
too little or too much. His people often misunderstand His dealings.
They are silly enough to fancy their course of life might have been
better ordered. But in the resurrection day they will thank God that
not their will, but Christ’s was done.
Reader, look round the world and see the harm which people are
continually getting from their friends. Mark how much more ready
men are to encourage one another in worldliness and levity, than to
provoke to love and good works. Think how often they meet
together, not for the better but for the worse,—not to quicken one
another’s souls in the way to heaven, but to confirm one another in
the love of this present world. Alas! there are thousands who are
wounded unexpectedly in the house of their friends!
And then turn to the great Friend of sinners, and see how different
a thing is His friendship from that of man. Listen to Him as He walks
by the way with His disciples. Mark how He comforts, reproves, and
exhorts with perfect wisdom. Observe how He times His visits to
those He loves, as to Mary and Martha at Bethany. Hear how He
converses, as He dines on the shore of the sea of Galilee, “Simon
son of Jonas, lovest thou me.” (John xxi. 16.) His company is al-
ways sanctifying. His gifts are always for our soul’s good. His
kindness is always wise. His friendship is always to edification. One
day of the Son of Man is better than a thousand in the society of
earthly friends. One hour spent in private communion with Him, is
better than a year in kings’ palaces. Never, never, was there such a
wise friend as Jesus Christ.

VI. Do you want a tried and proved friend? Such a friend is Jesus
Christ.
 Six thousand years have passed away since the Lord Jesus began
His work of befriending mankind. During that long period of time He
has had many friends in this world. Millions on millions, unhappily,
have refused His offers and been miserably lost for ever. But
thousands on thousands have enjoyed the mighty privilege of His
friendship and been saved. He has had great experience. He has
had friends of every rank and station in life. Some of them were
kings and rich men, like David, and Solomon, and Hezekiah, and
Job. Some of them were very poor in this world, like the shepherds
of Bethlehem, and James, and John, and Andrew. But they were all
alike Christ’s friends.
He has had friends of every age that man can pass through. Some
of them never knew Him till they were advanced in years, like
Manasseh, and Zacchaeus, and the Ethiopian Eunuch. Some of
them were His friends even from their earliest childhood, like Joseph,
and Samuel, and Josiah, and Timothy. But they were all alike
Christ’s friends.
He has had friends of every possible temperament and disposition.
Some of them were simple plain men, like Isaac. Some of them were
mighty in word and deed, like Moses. Some of them were fervent
and warm-hearted, like Peter. Some of them were gentle and retiring
spirits, like John. Some of them were active and stirring, like Martha.
Some of them loved to sit quietly at His feet, like Mary. Some dwelt
unknown among their own people, like the Shunamite. Some have
gone everywhere and turned the world upside down, like Paul. But
they were all alike Christ’s Mends.
He has had friends of every condition in life. Some of them were
married and had sons and daughters, like Enoch. Some of them
lived and died unmarried, like Daniel and John the Baptist. Some of
them were often sick, like Lazarus and Epaphroditus. Some of them
were strong to labour, like Persia, and Tryphena, and Tryphosa.
Some of them were masters, like Abraham and Cornelius. Some of
them were servants, like the saints in Nero’s household. Some of
them had bad servants, like Elisha. Some of them had bad masters,
like Obadiah. Some of them had bad wives and children, like David.
But they were alike Christ’s friends.
 He has had friends of almost every nation, and people, and
tongue. He has had friends in hot countries and in cold; friends
among nations highly civilized, and friends among the simplest and
rudest tribes. His book of life contains the names of Greeks and
Romans, of Jews and Egyptians, of bond and of free. There are to
be found on its lists reserved Englishmen and cautious Scotsmen,
impulsive Irishmen and fiery Welshmen, volatile Frenchmen and
dignified Spaniards, refined Italians and solid Germans, rude
Africans and refined Hindoos, cultivated Chinese and half-savage
New Zealanders. But they were all alike Christ’s friends.
All these have made trial of Christ’s friendship, and proved it to be
good. They all found nothing wanting when they began. They all
found nothing wanting as they went on. No lack, no defect, no
deficiency was ever found by any one of them in Jesus Christ. Each
found his own soul’s wants fully supplied. Each found every day, that
in Christ there was enough and to spare. Never, never was there a
friend so fully tried and proved as Jesus Christ.

VII. Last, but not least, do you want an unfailing friend? Such a
friend is the Lord Jesus Christ.
The saddest part of all the good things of earth, is their instability.
Riches make themselves wings and flee away. Youth and beauty are
but for a few years. Strength of body soon decays. Mind and intellect
are soon exhausted. All is perishing. All is fading. All is passing
away. But there is one splendid exception to this general rule, and
that is the friendship of Jesus Christ.
The Lord Jesus is a friend who never changes. There is no
fickleness about Him. Those whom He loves, He loves unto the end.
Husbands have been known to forsake their wives. Parents have
been known to cast off their children. Human vows and promises of
faithfulness have often been forgotten. Thousands have been
neglected in their poverty and old age, who were honoured by all
when they were rich and young. But Christ never changed His
feelings toward one of His friends. He is “the same yesterday, today,
and for ever.” (Heb. xiii. 8.)
The Lord Jesus never goes away from His friends. There is never
a parting and good-bye between Him and His people. From the time
that He makes His abode in a sinner’s heart, He abides in it for ever.
The world is full of leave-takings and departures. Death and the
lapse of time break up the most united family. Sons go forth to make
their way in life. Daughters are married and leave their father’s
house for ever. Scattering, scattering, scattering, is the yearly history
of the happiest home. How many we have tearfully watched as they
drove away from our doors, whose pleasant faces we have never
seen again! How many we have sorrowfully followed to the grave,
and then come back to a cold, silent, lonely, and blank fireside! But
thanks be to God! there is One who never leaves His friends. The
Lord Jesus is He who has said, “I will never leave thee nor forsake
thee.” (Heb. xiii. 5.)
The Lord Jesus goes with His friends wherever they go. There is
no possible separation between Him and those whom He loves.
There is no place or position on earth or under the earth that can
divide them from the great Friend of their souls. When the path of
duty calls them far away from home, He is their companion. When
they pass through the fire and water of fierce tribulation, He is with
them. When they lie down on the bed of sickness, He stands by
them, and makes all their trouble work for good. When they go down
the valley of the shadow of death, and friends and relatives stand still
and can go no further, He goes down by their side. When they wake
up in the unknown world of Paradise, they are still with Him. When
they rise with a new body at the judgment day, they will not be alone.
He will own them for His friends, and say, “they are mine, deliver
them and let them go free.” He will make good His own words, “I am
with you always, even unto the end of the world.” (Matt. xxviii. 20.)
Reader, look round the world and see how failure is written on all
man’s schemes. Count up the partings, and separations, and
disappointments, and bereavements which have happened under
your own knowledge. Think what a privilege it is that there is One at
least who never fails, and in whom no one was ever disappointed!
Never, never was there so unfailing a friend as Jesus Christ.
And now, reader, suffer me to conclude this tract with a few plain
words of application to your own case. I know not who you are or in
what state your soul may be. But I am sure that the words I am about
to say deserve your serious attention. Oh! that the gatherings of
Christmas may not find you heedless of spiritual things! Oh! that you
may be able at Christmas to give a few thoughts to Christ!
1. Know then, for one thing, that I call upon you to consider
solemnly whether Christ is your Friend, and you are His.
There are thousands on thousands, I grieve to say, who are not
Christ’s friends. Baptized in His name, outward members of His
church, attendants on His means of grace,—all this they are no
doubt. But they are not Christ’s friends. Do they hate the sins which
Jesus died to put away? No. Do they love the Saviour who came into
the world to save them? No. Do they care for the souls which were
so precious in His sight? No. Do they delight in the word of
reconciliation? No. Do they try to speak with the Friend of sinners in
prayer? No. Do they seek close fellowship with Him? No. Oh, reader,
is this your case. How is it with you? Are you or are you not one of
Christ’s friends?
2. Know, in the next place, that if you are not one of Christ’s
friends, you are a poor, miserable man.
I write this down deliberately. I do not say it without thought. I say
that if Christ be not your friend, you are a poor, miserable man.
You are in the midst of a failing, sorrowful world, and you have no
real source of comfort, or refuge for a time of need. You are a dying
creature, and you are not ready to die. You have sins, and they are
not forgiven. You are going to be judged, and you are not prepared
to meet God. You might be, but you refuse to use the one only
Mediator and Advocate. You love the world better than Christ. You
refuse the great Friend of sinners, and you have no friend in heaven
to plead your cause. Yes! it is sadly true. You are a poor, miserable
man. It matters nothing what your income is. Without Christ’s
friendship you are very poor.
3. Know, in the third place, that if you really want a friend,
Christ is willing to become your friend.
He has long wanted you to join His people, and He now invites you
by my hand. He is ready to receive you, all unworthy as you may
feel, and to write your name down in the list of His friends. He is
ready to pardon all the past, to clothe you with righteousness, to give
you His Spirit, to make you His own dear child. All He asks you to do
is to come to Him.
 He bids you come with all your sins, only acknowledging your
vileness, and confessing that you are ashamed. Just as you are,—
waiting for nothing,—unworthy of anything in yourself,—Jesus bids
you come and be His friend.
Ah! reader, come and be wise. Come and be safe. Come and be
happy. Come and be Christ’s friend.
4. Know, in the last place, that if Christ is your friend, you have
great privileges, and ought to walk worthy of them.
Seek every day to have closer communion with Him who is your
Friend, and to know more of His grace and power. True Christianity
is not merely the believing a certain set of dry abstract propositions.
It is to live in daily personal communication with an actual living
person, Jesus, the Son of God. “To me,” said Paul, “to live is Christ.”
(Phil. i. 21.)
Seek every day to glorify your Lord and Saviour in all your ways.
He that hath a friend should show himself friendly, and no man
surely is under such mighty obligations as the friend of Christ. Avoid
everything which would grieve your Lord. Fight hard against
besetting sins, against inconsistency, against backwardness to
confess Him before men. Say to your soul, whenever you are
tempted to that which is wrong, “Soul, soul, is this thy kindness to thy
friend?”
Think, above all, of the mercy which has been shown thee, and
learn to rejoice daily in thy Friend! What though thy body be bowed
down with disease! What though thy poverty and trials be very great!
What though thine earthly friends forsake thee, and thou art alone in
the world! All this may be true, but if thou art in Christ, thou hast a
Friend, a mighty Friend, a loving Friend, a wise Friend, a Friend that
never fails. Oh! think, think much upon thy Friend!
Yet a little time, and thy Friend shall come to take thee home, and
thou shalt dwell with Him for ever. Yet, a little time, and thou shalt
see as thou hast been seen, and know as thou hast been known.
And then thou shalt hear assembled worlds confess, that HE IS THE
RICH AND HAPPY MAN WHO HAS HAD CHRIST FOR HIS
FRIEND.