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w07 Lesson Plan

1) The document discusses principles for improving communication between parents and children. It emphasizes listening to children, using "I" statements to express feelings, and clarifying expectations without blaming. 2) Effective communication can positively influence children when parents master how they communicate with tones of love rather than loudness. 3) Souls can be strengthened or shattered by the message and manner of communication, so parents must be careful not only what they say but how they say it.

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57 views

w07 Lesson Plan

1) The document discusses principles for improving communication between parents and children. It emphasizes listening to children, using "I" statements to express feelings, and clarifying expectations without blaming. 2) Effective communication can positively influence children when parents master how they communicate with tones of love rather than loudness. 3) Souls can be strengthened or shattered by the message and manner of communication, so parents must be careful not only what they say but how they say it.

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© © All Rights Reserved
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Getting Started (10 min):

Last Week Recap (10 min):


Communication (30 min):
Communication is a part of everything we do. Even refusing to talk communicates something,
whether it is interpreted correctly or not.
“Parents can break destructive communication cycles by changing the way they listen and
respond, thereby creating a healing environment that can lead to a change of heart in their sons
and daughters.”
What are harmful ways to communicate? Think about if you use any of them in your life. How
can you change them?
--------
“Parents who communicate in a Christlike manner can more easily fulfill their “sacred duty to
rear their children in love and righteousness” and to “teach them to love and serve one another,
to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens.” How children learn to
communicate is based on the atmosphere that is created by the parents.
Christ is the perfect example of communication. Read scriptures on p. 25 of manual,
Think about your answers to these questions in regard to your spouse: do they believe you are
interested in what they say? Are you interested in their activities, goals, and achievements? Do
they feel safe in talking with you about their personal problems and needs? Can they ask you
sensitive questions without being criticized or chastised?
Think about/write down ways that you can follow the Saviors example to better your
communication.
--------
Instead of blaming each other, parents should focus on improving their communication skills.
Principles for improving your communication:
 Return Good for Evil: Use an even tone of voice when being yelled at, talk respectfully
even if the children are being disrespectful, be reasonable, lovingly provide consequences
when family rules are violated. What do you think that means/looks like?
 Look for the Good in Children: Attention is a powerful reinforcer. Listen and talk to your
child, encouraging good behavior. They are less likely to repeat something if it doesn’t
get a lot of attention so ignore obnoxious behavior when it is harmless. If it may cause
hard, impose consequences that prevent them from receiving attention for the behavior.
 Listen to Children: Children often behave better if they feel valued and respected. Let
them feel and express their feelings. Talking about them often helps them work out
emotions we don’t like.
o “The time to listen is when someone needs to be heard. Children are naturally
eager to share their experiences, which range from triumphs of delight to trials of
distress. Are we as eager to listen? If they try to express their anguish, is it
possible for us to listen openly to a shocking experience without going into a state
of shock ourselves? Can we listen without interrupting and without making snap
judgments that slam shut the door of dialogue? It can remain open with the
soothing reassurance that we believe in them and understand their feelings.” -
President Nelson
o Show interest and a willingness to learn
o Ask questions that invite the child to talk
o Identify and name the child’s feelings
o Listen actively by paraphrasing what the child says
 How could you paraphrase what a child is feeling in these scenarios?
 A child enters a room, slams a book on the table, and glares at the parent.
 A child comes home from school, dejected, and says “I really blew it in
chemistry today. The exam was terrible.”
o Respond nondefensively when a child is upset
 Share Feelings Appropriately When You Are Upset: “Words of anger can inflict wounds
that are slow to heal.” Think before you speak. Instead of using statements that blame the
child such as “Can you do anything right?”, use “I” statements like “I feel frustrated
when the assigned chores are not done.” These disclose how you feel, and it is hard for
children to debate with your personal feelings.
 Clarify What is Expected of Children: Use this along with “I” statements. Express how
you feel and then a clarifying message of what is expected. “I feel taken advantage of
when I take you places and never receive any thanks for it. It’s always appropriate to say
‘thanks’ when someone does something for you. I need to hear it, and others do too. Will
you please thank people when they do things for you?”
o What are some examples of “I” statements and clarifying expectations?
Resolve problems that may impair your ability to be a good listener. Avoid unhealthy and
unrealistic attitudes and ideas that interfere with listening,
 Feeling responsible to solve all of your child’s problems: Children often need help to
solve problems, but it is also good to let them learn how to find solutions on their own.
Letting them do this will build confidence.
 Feeling responsible to rear successful children rather than focusing on being a successful
parent
 Wanting to control your children
 Being overly detached or permissive
 Fearing failure and public humiliation
 Believing that you are always right
 Needing to feel loved by children and fearing rejection by them
Closing Remarks (10 min):
Using effective communication can be so powerful! Parents who master the way they
communicate can exert such a positive influence on their children.
Elder L. Lionel Kendrick said, “Our communications reflect in our countenance. Therefore, we
must be careful not only what we communicate, but also how we do so. Souls can be
strengthened or shattered by the message and the manner in which we communicate. . .
Christlike communications are expressed in tones of love rather than loudness. They are intended
to be helpful rather than hurtful. They tend to bind us together rather than to drive us apart. . .
The real challenge . . . is to condition our hearts to have Christlike feelings for all of Heavenly
Father’s children. When we develop this concern for the condition of others, we will then
communicate with them as the Savior would. We will then warm the hearts of those who may be
suffering in silence. . . We can then make their journey brighter by the things that we say.”

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EVALUATION: This week went so much better than last week. I was really invested in what I
was teaching, so I was able to keep the discussion lively and ask good questions. My group
seemed to like the discussion as well, and they participated a lot.

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