Semester Reflection

It is hard to compare my midterm story and my final story, but looking at them, as well as the
diagnostic story, I would say that there was a lot of improvement. The first thing that I remembered from
writing the midterm story was that I felt like in order to be good, it had to be long. Even with my
diagnostic, I dragged it out, thinking it would make it better. With my final story, I did add things along
the way, but I wanted to keep it concise, knowing that not every story that was good had to be long.
With that, I think that this last story had more description that could appeal to the reader’s sensory
imagination. While it was a heavy topic, descriptions such as the overwhelming feeling drowning the
character, dull knives twisting in their spine, etc. I felt as though I was more creative than the incredibly
simple verbs used in my previous stories. With that, I think it was because this story lacked setting and
action as it takes the form of a letter, so I had to compensate for that.

I think that I had also grown in the lens of speed/compression. Previous stories had a lot of back
and forth, slow and fast, that was primarily because I didn’t fully know what I was doing, nor did I go
back and look to figure it out. This story starts out incredibly fast, jumping through because the character
is no longer putting thought or effort into her future. The second half is very slow, dragging out the
feelings that are slowly killing her because she is so overwhelmed by them, which is why there is so
much of a detail overload. This was one of the first times I had really looked to add something like that,
which is one of the things I am most proud of in my growth through this class.

One big move that I had stolen was from my midterm story. When I had my meeting to get
feedback from Furuness, he said this story took a semi-letter format, which made it interesting and
appealing. I wanted to build off of that to make something more unique and even more interesting, so
my final story is in the structure of a letter entirely. I had also taken from one of the stories we read
where the character goes back in time to fix problems. With that, I had taken the idea and turned it into
something more fitting to what I was trying to accomplish- this idea of being in the present and wanting
to jump to when the problems are fixed, wanting to go back and get another try, but not getting the
chance.

My self-concept as a writer has greatly changed. At the start of the semester, I was a writer in
hiding, ashamed of my work, wanting to hide it from the world. I loved writing, but felt like I was terrible
at it, almost like a world class pilot who was afraid of flying. I never wanted to show my work, even if I
loved it, I thought that no one else would. Now, I have come a lot farther than I would have ever
thought. I still have those times when I don’t want to share a story, but I also know now that not every
story is going to be one that I want to share. I also now understand that the first draft is not going to be
perfect. Revision exists for a reason. Before, I would just write, skim for grammar, and be done. Now, I
have learned to go back and look at it, get feedback, go back again, map it out, go back, go back, and
continue to go back and look at it until I feel it is at its peak. I think I have actually wanted to start
growing as a writer to improve my self-concept, and once I realized that, I grew tremendously.

Some things have stayed the same. I still love writing, and I use it a lot for therapy. There are a
lot of times I write about something that is going on, or has been, in my life. The first story I had wrote
for this class was about a death I had experienced over the summer. The midterm overall idea was after
a personal experience from high school. Even this final story was based off a death I had experienced a
couple of years ago. I will never write something I wouldn’t want to read, and I read things that I can
resonate with. I hope that other people can resonate with my writing because I try to write about real
things, real problems, real thoughts, and real emotions. Writing has always been special for me, that
hasn’t changed, and I don’t think it ever will.

This idea of where I work best has changed throughout the semester. At the start, it was with
friends who could hold me accountable. Now, I realize that I can hold myself accountable, and prefer to
be alone when writing so that I can be alone with my thoughts, my emotions, and get everything out.
Then I am able to refine it before sharing it with others for feedback or review. This also changes on a
day to day basis. At the very start of a story, I love to sit in my apartment, surrounded by my friends, and
we all just throw out ideas. I give them the concept for my story, and they tell me what they like, don’t
like, want to add, want to take out. They help me create the idea. One of my favorite memories from this
semester was mapping out my midterm story on the living room wall with my roommates. We had so
much fun with it. I enjoy doing that, and then going back to my room or private space and just writing for
as long as I can, bringing everything to life.

I think that a good writer goes about writing in whatever way works best for them. Every writer I
have met and talked with has a different writing process, so no single way works for everyone. A good
writer knows what works for them, along with what doesn’t, and builds off of their strengths. Through
trial and error, I have found what works for me. Not only that, but a good writer doesn’t ignore what
they aren’t good at but works on it to make it better. I am not good at cutting through revision, but I
worked on it in this final story. A writer knows their process, knows their body and mind. It is like a
fingerprint, we will all do it differently.
 The main thing that I want to continue on from this class is the journal, but it is definitely going
to be typed. One of the big things I had realized from this class was that I prefer typing because my
handwriting is not fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. I can also type anywhere. Even if I forget my
computer, I can quickly type a message to myself on my phone. I just find it to be more efficient. I also
want to keep writing creatively, setting reminders for myself to write for me, not just for assignments.
That is one of the greatest things this class allowed me to do. I got to write whatever I wanted, letting my
mind wonder freely. I never want to stop doing that, so I am hoping that as time goes on, I will keep
writing for me. I would also like to start trying to get stories published. I know I will fail, but at least it is a
start. I need to understand that I am going to get rejected a hundred times before getting accepted once,
and then it will start all over again. I want to continue writing for me no matter what, keeping the
practices and regimens that I have learned in this class. Most importantly, I will keep the reminder that
not every story will be a good one, and not every draft will be amazing, but people only have to see what
I chose to show them.