IB ENGLISH B TEXT TYPES

STUDENT WORKBOOK
SL VERSION

How to Write
Series 2

AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW
A Contented Being Resource

1
 Introduction

A note to teachers and students.

This workbook was created by an experienced teacher and professional writer who has taught IB
English B for over ten years. He has written each mentor text in this series of workbooks without
the use of any artificial intelligence writing software, websites, apps, or programmes, but he does
confess to having used Grammarly to help the proofreading process.
Each workbook aims to enable students to write a selected text type without the aid of any
artificial intelligence writing software, websites, apps, or programmes.
Accordingly, students are required to their write responses and planning notes directly onto the
pages of this workbook and to use separate lined paper (provided by teachers) to handwrite the
first draft of their text. This is to ensure the authenticity of their final submission.
The workbook is based around a MENTOR TEXT (an exemplar text). Although some of the
activities have been differentiated for SL students, the mentor text uses the IB English B HL word
count: 450-600 words. Teachers and students can use this workbook to analyse structure,
grammar, vocabulary, meaning, and style through a series of tasks. These are found in Part 1.
Part 2 then invites students to engage in a mini-research project, to write their planning on the
Planning page, and to use the Writing Process page to help with their handwritten first draft.
Using the Checklist pages and the helpful advice contained therein, students are encouraged to
self-assess their first draft before writing their final version.
The entire writing process, from understanding and using a mentor text, to researching, thinking
about, planning, and redrafting is therefore completely visible and should provide students with
enough practice to confidently write about each text type in their examinations.

The mentor text, research tasks and writing opportunities

support the topic of
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
which can be studied as part of the
SHARING THE PLANET
theme.

2
 PART ONE

TEACHING / LEARNING ACTIVITIES

1. Start with the Jumbled Text Starter document (not included in this workbook but provided
separately). It can be printed as A3 and the separate segments can be cut out for students in a
group to manipulate into the correct order.
Or it can be printed as A4 and students can (in pairs) number the segments and then come
together in groups to agree on the order.
2. Read the stimulus prompt (page 4) and justify why AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW is the best text
type to select.
3. Read the MENTOR TEXT and compare the structure with other student responses to the Jumbled
Text Starter.
4. To help you gain a deeper understanding of the Mentor Text, there are 5 ANALYSIS Tasks.

• Comprehension Questions
• Identifying Features
• Grammar Focus
• Vocabulary Inspection
• Paragraph Development
These tasks can be completed individually, or each can be done by a different group.
The aim, then, will be for each group to agree on the answers before sharing them with the rest of
the class. The rest of the class needs to encourage each group to justify their responses before
recording the answers in individual workbooks.

3
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW: Prompt Task

Read the following prompt and then respond to the questions about text selection.

Your school likes to celebrate the success of its students. One student, in particular, recently received a major
environmental award for innovation: she had invented a device to help clean plastic pollution from local rivers.
Write a text in which you interview the recipient of this award about the invention she created, the inspiration
for the invention and circumstances leading to the award.

Do not write a transcribed interview (= Question + Answer, Q+A, Q+A)

(450-600 words)

An Embedded Interview A News Report A Blog

TEXT SELECTION
Answer these questions as briefly as possible.

Why is a BLOG not a suitable text type for the given prompt?
The prompt suggests an interview with a specific person, and while a blog can deal with this
satisfactorily, the prompt provides two clues: interview and do not write a transcribed interview which
seem to suggest that an embedded interview is more appropriate.

Why is a NEWS REPORT not a suitable text type for the given prompt?
A news report would also be a suitable response but the wording of the prompt and its focus on three
specific interview areas suggest that an embedded interview is the better option.

Why is AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW the most suitable text type for the given prompt?
AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW is ideal as it allows you to share the newsworthy award with a school
audience whilst encouraging a focus on the three interview areas /aspects. Also, as it asks you to not
write a transcribed interview (just questions and answers), the implication is that an embedded
interview is required.

4
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW: Mentor Text

1. A True Inspiration
By Dan Strong, 16 February 2023

3. Little Place International School has a proud tradition of celebrating students who, inspired by the values of the IB
Learner Profiles, have gone on to become leaders in the field of innovation and invention. Such a student is Jenny
Flux who has recently won the prestigious County Environmental Innovation of the Year Award for her river cleaning
machine – a device that is already (if you’ll pardon the pun) making waves both locally and across the country. I
spoke with her shortly after she received her award at the Centre for Environmental Innovation last week.

8. I wanted to know more about her invention. “It’s a river cleaning device,” she said, “that combines surface booms
and suction pumps to collect and remove plastic waste from local rivers.” She went on to explain that the device can
remove both floating debris and other bits of pollution that might be stuck at the bottom of the river.

11. When asked about the danger of accidentally capturing fish and other lifeforms, she added: “Special sensors
attached to the device can detect the electrical impulses given off by living creatures; if they are identified, the
device turns itself off until they have moved away. Plus, I equipped the machine with tiny lasers that can recognise
the size and shape of specific garbage items made of plastic, metal, and paper. Once identified, they are then either
scooped from the surface or vacuumed from the riverbed.”

16. I wondered what would happen if the device were caught in the rapids near rocks and Jenny explained that the
device could only work in parts of the river that were flowing slowly. “Most garbage gets carried along by strong
currents and then deposited in the still pools, so this is where the machine works best,” she said.

19. So, what inspired her invention?

20. “One of the IB English B themes is ‘Sharing the Planet’ and whilst learning about this theme, we were taken down
to two local rivers to see the impact of pollution first-hand.” What she saw saddened her greatly. “It was appalling,”
she said. “I couldn’t believe how such a pretty part of the county could be ruined by such thoughtlessness.”

23. Initially, the IB students were just supposed to write a brochure to educate people about the problem, but Jenny
wanted to do more. “Letting people know about the issue was just half of the problem. Something had to be done.”

25. Enlisting the expertise of her mother, an engineer, and the help of two students from Little Place University,
Jenny set about designing the first of many prototypes. “I spent many months researching what was already out
there. Some amazing inventions tackle plastic pollution in the oceans, but they are large and unsuitable for rivers.”

28. After much trial and error, Jenny’s machine was launched and all involved were very pleasantly surprised by its
effectiveness: in just under an hour, it had collected enough waste to fill a small canoe.

30. Inevitably, news of the device soon reached the local environmental agency which, after witnessing its
effectiveness over several trials, subsequently decided to sponsor further development. I asked how she felt about
this.

33. “That’s when I got excited about its potential,” Jenny added. “Now we can make a difference right across the
country.”

35. Indeed, Jenny’s invention (which has yet to be named) will not just be effective on the waterways of our country
– it has the potential to positively impact river systems all across the globe, too.

37. A well-deserved award, and inspirational proof that one individual really can change the world…

(599 words)

5
 ANALYSIS TASK 1: Comprehension Questions

Answer the following questions as briefly as possible. Some do not follow the order of the text.

1. Explain what is meant by ‘… a device that is … making waves’ (Line 6)

This is a play on words (pun). Making waves refers to something that is having an impact (figurative), and
the device probably does make waves (literal) when it is in the water.
2. Which phrase between lines 3 and 7 shows that Little Place High School has a history of celebrating the
success of its students?
A proud tradition
3. Which word between lines 3 and 8 means highly valued ?
prestigious
4. Circle the 3 true statements:
A. Jenny’s device has a clever name.
B. Jenny’s device only cleans the riverbed.
C. The device can detect if an object is a living creature.
D. The device is suitable for use in the ocean.
E. Jenny was upset by the levels of pollution in local rivers
F. Jenny hired experts to make the machine.
G. Jenny asked her mother for help.
H. The device works best near rapids.

Find the words that complete the following sentences. (The words can be found between 23 and 35).
5. Although the students were just required to create a brochure … Jenny wanted to do more.
6. The local environmental agency invested in her invention … after witnessing its effectiveness over several
trials.
Which of the following statements are TRUE (T) or FALSE (F)? Provide a justification (quotation from the
text).
7. Jenny’s first machine was the one that worked the best. (T / F ) = The first of many prototypes/ after much
trial and error
8. The device needs a lot of time to do its job effectively (T / F ) = In just under an hour

9. To what does its refer in line 33? The device / Jenny’s invention/ Jenny’s machine

10. The style of this text is:

A. formal
B. semi-formal
6
 ANALYSIS TASK 2: Identifying Features

Label the features of this EMBEDDED INTERVIEW using these terms.

2ND MAIN QUESTION FOLLOW-ON QUESTION CONTEXTUAL INTRODUCTION FOLLOW-ON QUESTION BYLINE AND DATE HEADLINE

FOLLOW ON ANSWER 2ND MAIN QUESTION ANSWER INTERVIEWER 1ST MAIN QUESTION 1ST QUESTION ANSWER FOLLOW-ON ANSWER

RELEVANT CONCLUSION DEVELOPED DETAILS 3RD MAIN QUESTION 3RD QUESTION ANSWER

1. A True Inspiration
By Dan Strong, 16 February 2023

3. Little Place International School has a proud tradition of celebrating students who, inspired by the values of the IB
Learner Profiles, have gone on to become leaders in the field of innovation and invention. Such a student is Jenny
Flux who has recently won the prestigious County Environmental Innovation of the Year Award for her river cleaning
machine – a device that is already (if you’ll pardon the pun) making waves both locally and across the country. I
spoke with her shortly after she received her award at the Centre for Environmental Innovation last week.

8. I wanted to know more about her invention. “It’s a river cleaning device,” she said, “that combines surface booms
and suction pumps to collect and remove plastic waste from local rivers.” She went on to explain that the device can
remove both floating debris and other bits of pollution that might be stuck at the bottom of the river.

11. When asked about the danger of accidentally capturing fish and other lifeforms, she added: “Special sensors
attached to the device can detect the electrical impulses given off by living creatures; if they are identified, the
device turns itself off until they have moved away. Plus, I equipped the machine with tiny lasers that can recognise
the size and shape of specific garbage items made of plastic, metal, and paper. Once identified, they are then either
scooped from the surface or vacuumed from the riverbed.”

16. I wondered what would happen if the device were caught in the rapids near rocks and Jenny explained that the
device could only work in parts of the river that were flowing slowly. “Most garbage gets carried along by strong
currents and then deposited in the still pools, so this is where the machine works best,” she said.

19. So, what inspired her invention?

20. “One of the IB English B themes is ‘Sharing the Planet’ and whilst learning about this theme, we were taken down
to two local rivers to see the impact of pollution first-hand.” What she saw saddened her greatly. “It was appalling,”
she said. “I couldn’t believe how such a pretty part of the county could be ruined by such thoughtlessness.”

23. Initially, the IB students were just supposed to write a brochure to educate people about the problem, but Jenny
wanted to do more. “Letting people know about the issue was just half of the problem. Something had to be done.”

25. Enlisting the expertise of her mother, an engineer, and the help of two students from Little Place University,
Jenny set about designing the first of many prototypes. “I spent many months researching what was already out
there. Some amazing inventions tackle plastic pollution in the oceans, but they are large and unsuitable for rivers.”

28. After much trial and error, Jenny’s machine was launched and all involved were very pleasantly surprised by its
effectiveness: in just under an hour, it had collected enough waste to fill a small canoe.

30. Inevitably, news of the device soon reached the local environmental agency which, after witnessing its
effectiveness over several trials, subsequently decided to sponsor further development. I asked how she felt about
this.

33. “That’s when I got excited about its potential,” Jenny added. “Now we can make a difference right across the
country.”

35. Indeed, Jenny’s invention (which has yet to be named) will not just be effective on the waterways of our country
– it has the potential to positively impact river systems all across the globe, too.

37. A well-deserved award, and inspirational proof that one individual really can change the world…

(599 words)

7
 ANALYSIS TASK 3: Grammar Focus

Circle the correct response.

1. What part of speech is ‘tradition’ (line 3)?

a) adjective b) pronoun c) noun

2. What part of speech is ‘waves’ (line 6)?

a) noun b) verb c) participle

3. The sentence “I wanted to know more about her invention.” in line 8 is a …

a) simple sentence b) compound sentence c) complex sentence

4. The sentence “Enlisting...many prototypes” (Lines 25 and 26) is a …

a) simple sentence b) compound sentence c) complex sentence

4. Which of the following is an OPINION?

a) They are large b) We were taken to two local rivers c) It was appalling.

5. Identify the simple subject in this sentence:

Special sensors attached to the device can detect the electrical impulses given off by living creatures.
a) Special b) sensors c) device

6. Identify the simple predicate in this sentence:

Special sensors attached to the device can detect the electrical impulses given off by living creatures.
a) can b) detect c) can detect

7. What is the function of the ellipsis in line 37?

a) to suggest something more b) to provide extra info c) to add drama to the ending

8. What is the function of the brackets in line 35?

a) to provide an explanation b) to intro an example c) to provide additional information

9. Which of these is a coordinating conjunction?

a) but b) plus c) also

10. Which of the following is an example of an adjective?

a) amazing b) celebrating c) enlisting

8
 ANALYSIS TASK 4: Vocabulary Inspection

Circle the correct response.

1. What word is closest in meaning to ‘device’ ? (Line 6)

a) contraption b) gadget c) utensil

2. What is a synonym for ‘debris ? (Line 10)

a) lumber b) refuse c) wreckage

3. Which word/s can suitably replace ‘impulses’ in line 12?

a) signals b) desires c) shocks

4. Which word means the same as ‘equipped’ ? (Line 13)

a) added b) prepared c) fitted

5. What is the meaning of ‘rapids’ ? (Line 16)

a) fast-flowing water b) waterfalls c) floods

6. Which word/s can suitably replace ‘deposited’ in line 18?

a) banked b) dropped c) accumulated

7. What is the antonym of ‘greatly? (Line 21)

a) slightly b) mightily c) marginally

8. What is the antonym of ‘expertise’? (Line 25)

a) experience b) frailty c) inexperience

9. What is the meaning of ‘tackle? (Line 27)

a) fishing gear b) deal with c) seize

10. What is the meaning of ‘potential’? (Line 31)

a) possibility b) probability c) capacity

9
 ANALYSIS TASK 5: Paragraph Development

Read an example of how the ideas in the topic sentence are developed in this paragraph.

Make notes to show how sentences 2-5 develop the idea in sentence 1.

I wanted to know more about her invention. “It’s a river cleaning device,” she said, “that combines surface booms
and suction pumps to collect and remove plastic waste from local rivers.” She went on to explain that the device can
remove both floating debris and other bits of pollution that might be stuck at the bottom of the river.

11. When asked about the danger of accidentally capturing fish and other lifeforms, she added: “Special sensors
attached to the device can detect the electrical impulses given off by living creatures; if they are identified, the
device turns itself off until they have moved away. Plus, I equipped the machine with tiny lasers that can recognise
the size and shape of specific garbage items made of plastic, metal, and paper. Once identified, they are then either
scooped from the surface or vacuumed from the riverbed.”

10
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW

PART TWO
Now it is your turn to write AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW.

Please do the following tasks in order.

1. Read the prompt below. Please note, it does require your doing some research in order to
complete the task.
2. Do Mini-Research Project 1. This is for you to identify the 5 most serious threats to the
environment. Then, on the next page, make brief notes about an invention that can either minimise
the threat or completely remove it. Research Project #3 asks you to make notes about DIRECT and
INDIRECT SPEECH. This is an extremely important task. Please do not skip it.
3. Using the MENTOR TEXT compile and organise the vocabulary in your own way. Then try to use
the vocabulary in your writing task.
4. Attempt the SENTENCE FRAME activity and use the structures in your writing.
5. Use the EMBEDDED INTERVIEW Planning Page to jot down ideas for your first draft.
6.. Use the WRITING PROCESS page to help you handwrite draft one on lined paper provided by your
teacher. You can also use the CHECKLIST pages at this stage too.
7.. Before writing your final draft, use the CHECKLIST pages to ensure you have answered YES to all
the questions.
8. Apply the advice provided by the CHECKLIST Pages and write your final draft.
9. Submit your final draft to your teacher.

Somebody in your IB cohort has created an invention that can either minimise or solve one of the threats
facing your local environment.

Write AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW with that person for your school newspaper.

The two guiding questions are: What is this invention? Why is it so important?

(250-400 words)

11
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW: Mini-Research Project #1

Using the internet and visiting at least 3 different websites, compile a list of the 5 biggest threats facing
the ENVIRONMENT and record at least 3 brief details about each.

THREATS WEBSITE CONSULTED BRIEF DETAILS/ interesting statistics

12
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW: Mini-Research Project #2

Select ONE of the threats identified in the previous task.

Now imagine that you have invented / created a machine/ device that can either minimize the threat or
completely remove it altogether. There is no limit to finance, resources, means, expertise. Let your imagine play
with this concept without worrying about the science/ physics behind it. If you could invent something that would
solve the problem, what would your invention be? Provide as much detail as you can below. You are allowed to
work in groups for this task.

13
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW: Mini-Research Project #3

Research the rules for DIRECT and INDIRECT SPEECH.

Make relevant notes in the columns below.

HOW TO PUNCTUATE DIRECT SPEECH. WHAT IS REPORTED SPEECH? / INDIRECT SPEECH?

Provide suitable examples Provide suitable rules and examples.
and colour-code the punctuation.

14
 PRE-WRITING TASK: Vocabulary Extraction

Turn the page landscape.

Extract words from the MENTOR TEXT so that they fit into each of the outer boxes.
Then think of a sub-heading to which some words belong.
Then add a main heading to which some sub-headings belong.

EMBEDDED

INTERVIEW

15
 PRE-WRITING: Sentence Framing

How to create a sentence frame.

Read a sentence, then remove the replaceable terms.

The rise of Artificial Intelligence means that schools need to be rigorous regarding academic honesty.

Framed, it looks like this:

The rise of __________ means that __________ need to be __________ regarding __________.

Read the mentor text again. Identify between 5 and 8 sentences whose structures you can frame.
Then write the corresponding FRAMES in the box below and try to use them in your writing task.

16
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW: Planning Page

Using the prompts below and your research, jot down notes to help your prepare.
Brief ORIENTATION SENTENCE = one sentence that provides a context that leads to the reason for the embedded
interview.

FIRST MAIN QUESTION: =

DIRECT SPEECH ANSWER: (“……” he/she/they said.)

FOLLOW-ON QUESTION BASED ON THE ABOVE ANSWER = (E.g. I then asked …)

REPORTED / INDIRECT SPEECH response that answers the follow-on question. (E.g. They said that they had ….).

ADD A DIRECT SPEECH QUOTE: “……..”

INTERVIEWER COMMENT on the follow-on response:

SECOND MAIN QUESTION: =

DIRECT SPEECH ANSWER: (“……” he/she/they said.)

FOLLOW-ON QUESTION BASED ON THE ABOVE ANSWER =

REPORTED / INDIRECT SPEECH response that answers the follow-on question. (E.g. They said that they had ….).

ADD A DIRECT SPEECH QUOTE: “……..”

INTERVIEWER COMMENT on the follow-on response.

CONCLUSION: What is the significance of the invention for the future / wider world?

17
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW: Writing Process Page

On a separate sheet of lined paper, please HANDWRITE your first draft using the following process.

1. Before writing, ensure you have read and understood the prompt / stimulus carefully. Know exactly
which aspects of the prompt you need to include and in which order.
2. Think of a relevant / suitable HEADLINE that encapsulates the main message of the interview.
3. Then write the byline and the date.
4. Leave a line open.
4. Write contextual introduction, providing background information before giving the name of the
interviewee and the reason for the interview.
5. Leave a line open.
6. Now write your first main question. For example, I first asked … to tell me ….. Now write the quotation /
direct speech answer, using quotation/ speech marks. Try not to write a lengthy response. Put the most
important parts as direct speech, but add supporting details as reported speech. For example, They then
went on to explain that… Then finish that paragraph with a brief quoted / direct speech comment.
7. Leave a line open.
8. Now include how you asked for follow-on details to expand on what was previously said. Again, use
indirect/ reported speech. I was curious about …., so I asked them to explain …. Use a mixture of direct and
indirect speech to expand upon follow-on details. End with an interviewer comment.
9. Now write your next main question. For example, My next question was regarding ….. Now write the
quotation / direct speech answer, using quotation/ speech marks. Try not to write a lengthy response. Put
the most important parts as direct speech but add supporting details as reported speech. For example,
They then said that… Then finish that paragraph with a brief quoted / direct speech comment.
10. Leave a line open.
11. Now include how you asked for follow-on details to expand on what was previously said. Again, use
indirect/ reported speech. I wanted to know more about …., so I asked …. Use a mixture of direct and
indirect speech to expand upon follow-on details. End with an interviewer comment.
12. If you are HL, then follow the same steps as 9-11 for your third main question.
13. Leave a line open.
14. Now write a relevant conclusion in which you comment on the significance of the interview / answers
for those involved or the wider community.

18
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW: CHECKLIST

Before submitting your final draft, use this CHECKLIST to self-assess draft 1.
Question Yes/ No If NO, …
STRUCTURE AND DETAIL
Have you read the prompt/ stimulus? Re-read the prompt and identify the 2 or 3 main requirements/ aspects.
Have you provided a suitable headline? Keep your headline short (pithy) with something to attract attention. There is no need
to be overly dramatic or sensational.

have you written a byline and date? Write the name of the reporter and the date of the publication.

Is there a line open? Leave a line open. It makes things easier to read.
Have you written a brief contextual This paragraph must briefly put the need for this interview in context, providing
introduction? relevant background information before mentioning the name of the person being
interviewed and reason for the interview.

Is there a line open? Leave a line open. It makes things easier to read.
Have you indicated your first main Do not write this a direct speech. Rather say, I first asked X about …..
question?

Have you provided a direct speech / Write the response as direct speech, with quotation marks. Do not make the entire
quote response to your question? paragraph just the quoted reply. Say the most important aspect in direct speech first.

Have you provided extra information Now report the extra information as reported speech. X went on to explain that … and
indirectly? – i.e. not as part of a quoted added that ……
answer?
Have you finished this paragraph with End the paragraph with something else that was actually said and which is worth
another direct quotation that expands/ quoting with quotation marks / direct speech. “It’s something I have always wanted to
draws the first response to a do,” he said.
conclusion?
Is there a line open?
Have you written one or more follow- The information in this paragraph should extend / clarify / further describe the
up questions with follow on responses information provided by what has already been said. Do not make this one big chunk of
that combine both direct and indirect quoted text. Aim for a mixture of direct and indirect speech. Possibly add an interviewer
speech? comment about what was said.
Is there a line open? Leave a line open. It makes things easier to read.
Have you indicated your second main Do not write this a direct speech. Rather say, I then asked X about …..
question?
Have you provided a direct speech / Write the response as direct speech, with quotation marks. Do not make the entire
quote response to your question? paragraph just the quoted reply. Say the most important aspect in direct speech first.
Have you provided extra information Now report the extra information as reported speech. X also said that … and argued
indirectly? – i.e. not as part of a quoted that ……
answer?
Have you finished this paragraph with End the paragraph with something else that was actually said and which is worth
another direct quotation that expands/ quoting with quotation marks / direct speech. “That’s why I felt the need to do this,” he
draws the first response to a stated.
conclusion?
Is there a line open? Leave a line open. It makes things easier to read.
(HL) If you are writing an extra question / response/ paragraph, follow the same questions as above.
Have you written a brief relevant This can be a quick summary of the interview/ or a brief overview of the implications of
conclusion? the comments, leading to a sentence that could possibly predict / explain what will
happen next. Possibly add an interviewer comment about what was said.

REMEMBER TO USE A MIXTURE OF DIRECT AND INDIRECT SPEECH.

19
 AN EMBEDDED INTERVIEW: CHECKLIST

Question Yes/ If NO, …

No
REGISTER
Have you kept the register / tone • Only use contractions for direct speech: don’t, isn’t, I’m.
semi-formal? • Avoid using exclamation marks.
• Avoid phrasal verbs: instead of looked into say investigated
• Only use first person if you are quoting or are the interviewer.
• Use sentence fragments sparingly and only for effect, e.g. But it did not.
• Use more formal vocabulary, e.g. instead of make sure, use ensure.
• Use appositives. Instead of Mr. Smith, who is a renowned expert, will visit
our campus … write Mr Smith, a renowned expert, will visit our campus.
• Use the passive voice: Instead of They decided .. write It was decided that
…
• Use nominalisation = turn verbs, adjectives into nouns: instead of They
investigated the cause, say The investigation into the cause …
PUNCTUATION, VOCABULARY, SENTENCES
Have you used a range of In addition to commas, question marks and exclamation marks, see if you can add/
punctuation marks? include:
• Colons: = to introduce a list or explanation. Make sure the sentence before
the colon is a complete sentence. E.g. There are three reasons I passed my
test: I slept well, I ate well, and I concentrated in class.
• Semi-colons; = to indicate conjunctive adverbs ( ; however, ) or to replace
FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) between sentences (I tried very
hard; I failed.)
• Dashes – = to emphasise a word or idea after it. E.g., The penalty for
fighting is – jail. Or as dramatic/ emphatic parenthesis: My sister – the best
friend I ever had – won an award.
• Brackets ( ) = to provide a definition or non-emphatic extra information:
Arachnophobia (a fear of spiders) is something which (thankfully) I do not
suffer from.
• Ellipsis … = To show missing information. What is the definition of …? Or to
show a dramatic pause for effect: Eventually, all I could so was … give up.

Do you have child-like vocabulary? Avoid vocabulary that a 7-year-old would use: got, very, nice, overuse of it.
Do you have suitable/ relevant Make sure that you have a range of vocabulary directly linked to your topic/ theme.
content-specific vocabulary? For example, if you are writing a review about a restaurant, then you must include
restaurant-related words: reservation, table, cuisine, chef, waiter, atmosphere, taste,
starter, main course

Do you have a range of cohesive/ If possible, highlight all of your cohesive/ linking devices/ words. If you have
linking devices? repeated the same ones, find alternatives.
Have you used a range of sentence Vary the length of your sentences. Use one or two short sentences following a longer
lengths? sentence for emphasis / dramatic purposes: Before I became a professional athlete, I
was extremely unfit. I really was. Honestly.
Have you used a range of sentence See if you can change some of your sentences so that they begin with these
starters? variations:
• Infinitive phrases: To prove that this is effective, …
• Participial phrases: Running down the road, I …
• Subordinate clauses: Because the evidence is tainted, …
• Preposition phrases: In just under two hours, you will …
• Adjectives: Intrigued, I decided to …
• Appositives: An experienced climber, Mr Smith knows the value of …
Have you used an idiomatic Use idioms sparingly. One or two are enough. You do not have to use regular idioms
expression for deliberate effect? like raining cats and dogs – idiomatic expressions like At the end of the day … / Hit
the ground running are also suitable. But not too many.

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Series one comprises:

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