Wardell al Px Mini- Lessons *Teachin mh aris : BY ADELE FIDERERACKNOWLEDGMENTS I dedicate this book to the teachers of Scarsdale Public Schools who invited me into their classrooms, and to all the students who showed us what was possible. 1 thank Terry Cooper, who suggested this book, and Wendy Murray, my editor. Scholastic Inc. grants teachers permision to photocopy the reproducible pages ftom this book fr classroom use. No other part ofthis publica- tiom my be reproduced in whole orn partor stored in aeetrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise, without written permission ofthe publisher, For information regsrding permision, write to Scholastic Inc, 355 Broadway, New York, NY 10012 Cover design by Kathy Masiro Cover photograph by Joan Beard Interior design by Solutions by Design, Ine Interior photograph by Joa Beard: photograph on ge 65 by Cadina Genovese. ISBN 0-590-20940- Copyright © 1997 by Adele Fiderer ‘All rghts reserved, Printed in the US.A.Table of Contents Introduction 5 Meaning Mini-lesson 1 Find a Topic That Matters 8 Student Activity 1 Finding the Stories in My Life 9 Mini-lesson 2 Search for a Topic 10 Student Activity 2 Creating aTime Line it Mini-lesson 3 A Writer’s Notebook 12 Student Activity 3 My Writer's Notebook 13, Meaning: Follow-It-Up 15, Organization Mini-lesson 4 Find the Focus 18 Student Activity 4 Compare Focused/Unfocused ‘Versions 19 Mini-lesson 5 Limit the Topic 19 Student Activity 5 Look for Limited Topics 2t Mini-lesson 6 Focus with a Topic Web 20 Student Activity 6 Using a Topic Web 23 Mini-lesson 7 Let the Title Show the Focus Student Activity 7 Find the Titles that Show a Focus Focus: Follow-It-Up Mini How a Story Is Developed Student Ac 8 ‘Working with Paragraphs i-lesson 8 Mini-lesson 9 Focus with a Lead Student Activity 9 Choose Your Favorite Leads Mini-lesson 10 Experiment with Leads Student Activity 10 Select the Best Beginnings Mini-lesson 11 Great Beginnings: Writers’ Techniques Student Activity 11 Tell the Technique Great Beginnings: Follow-It-Up Mi lesson 12 Satisfying Endings Student Activity 12 Examining Story Endings Satisfying Endings: Follow-It-Up ovr amsteniecstteta eneE eee e 24 25 26 27 28 30 31 33, 34 35 36 38 39 40 41Development Mini-lesson 13 Writing That Shows Student Activity 13 Show, Don't Tell! Mini-lesson 14 Show, Don't Tell! How Authors Do It Student Activity 14 Show, Don’t Tell: Word Hunt Mini-lesson 15 Develop with Details Student Activity 15 Adding Details Development: Follow-It-Up Clarity Mini-lesson 16 Sharpen the Picture How Authors Do It Student Activity 16 Sharpen with Specifics Mini-lesson 17 Replace Overused Verbs Student Activity 17 Toss Out Tired Verbs Mini-lesson 18 Using Action Verbs Student Activity 18 Specific Action Verbs Mir Compare to Make It Clear i-lesson 19 Student Activity 19 Simile Search 44 45 47 49 50 34 56 57 59 60 61 Mini-lesson 20 Riddle Poems (Metaphors) Student Activity 20 Guess the Subject Clarity: Follow-It-Up Editing Mini-lesson 21 Use Proofreading Marks Student Activity 21 Be a Proofreading Pro Mini-lesson 22 Edit to Strengthen Verbs Student Activity 22 Wanted: Strong Verbs Mini-lesson 23 Combine Short Sentences Student Activity 23 Sentence Connection Bonus Student Activity Sentence-Combining Challenge Mini-lesson 24 Revising Run-On Sentences Student Activity 24 Fix Up the Run-On Mini-lesson 25 Punctuate the Dialogue Student Activity 25 Punctuation Practice Editing: Follow-It-Up Chart: Proofreading Marks Story Bank 62 63 64 66 67 68 69 71 72 73 74 75 76 71 79 80 81omen Introduction ag eee “Most of my students can’t seem to express their feelings and ideas clearly and concisely in writing.” If you are like me and most teachers I know, you may be thinking this as you read your students’ first pieces of writing in the fall. But here's the good news: Given regular opportunities to write and brief lessons on the techniques that good writers use, our students can become more effective writers. ‘The mini-lessons in this book will focus on the elements of good writ- ing. They provide practical teaching suggestions to introduce particular elements and strategies, as well as activities that will allow your students to practice the new techniques. What Makes Writing Good? ‘The following list, adapted from the ideas of writing expert Donald Murray, includes the elements most commonly identified by experienced writers and teachers of writing as essential for good writing in every form : of composition, including personal narrative, fiction, poetry, and content- area writing. Good writing has: @ Meaning ‘The writing grows out of experiences and ideas that the writer knows and cares about. ® Organization ; It is organized around a limited and clearly defined focus. It has an effective beginning, a logically ordered sequence of events or ideas, and a satisfying ending. ®@ Development The information is relevant and sufficient. Supporting reasons and concrete, visual details demonstrate the writer's knowledge of the subject. © Clear, Precise Language Good writing is concise and contains few unnecessary words or repetitions, Strong action verbs and specific nouns clearly show the reader what is happening. 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING 5 ‘elt Po ny 198Conventions and Mechanics ‘The writing exhibits appropriate usage, spelling, and the mechanics of punctuation, capitalization, and indentation of paragraphs. Tips for Using and Extending the Mini-lessons | Provide your students with lots of good books by their favorite authors. Books can be wonderful resources for good writing tech- niques. You will need an overhead projector or a photocopier to present most of the activities. 3 See the “Follow-It-Up” pages for each writing element for ways your students can try out a new technique during their regular reading and writing times. When time is short, have your students complete the mini-lesson activity for homework. How to Create Your Own Mini-lessons © Prepare a separate folder for each of the qualities of good writing, © When you come across an example of a particular element of good writing in a book, magazine, newspaper, or student’s writing, photo- copy it and place it in the appropriate folder, © Use index cards to jot down any good mini-lesson ideas that you obtain from professional books, workshops, or colleagues. Add these cards to your folders. 9 Encourage your students to look for and share examples of good writing from their favorite books and their own writings Photocopy the excerpts onto a transparency for overhead projec- tion Extending Mini-lesson Strategies Follow up your mini-lessons on the elements of good writing in class lit- erature discussions and during writing conferences students have with you or with classmates. The sections in this book titled “Follow-It-Up” suggest jdeas for connecting writing and literature and for helping your students use mini-lesson strategies to improve their writing, 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING ‘Silastic Poesia Buks, 1997 EEEMeaning Much like you and me, children find that getting started is the hardest part of writing. One of the best ways to help them leap over this hurdle is to show them how to uncover writing topics they really care about. In this section you will find several techniques that help students mine their daily lives for meaningful stories. The mini-lessons and student activities encourage children to hunt for writing ideas using drawings, time lines, and writer’s notebooks. RABI at ata ats awa : 7ote Sg ED EAR LN GN EI ARIE MI AR } (| MINI-LESSON owt Find a Topic That Matters Purpose ‘Io help students find interesting stories in their own experiences Materials ® Story Bank (pages 81-96) ® Individual copies of Student Activity 1 (page 9) Teaching the Lesson Select two or three stories from the Story Bank to read to your students. Introduce them by saying something like this: “Listen to these stories written by children. They tell us something important about where writ ers get their ideas. As you listen, think about where the children’s story ideas came from.” f After reading the stories, ask the following questions (possible responses i in italics): Where did these writers get ideas for their stories? From something that really happened to them; fiom their own lives. | 2 Why-do you think each writer chose that one particular time to write about? Te was important, special; a good time; a bad time. What do you think made the writers remember so many things about | that special time in their lives? i Strong feelings: e.g., angry, happy, scared, jealous, proud. \| Distribute copies of Student Activity | and read the directions aloud to ' your students. 8 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + MEANING | ‘Seles Prfesional Boots, 1997SS IE OR RSE ST AIT RS RS OS OS ER RE OE t———_<— > STUDENT ACTIVITY | Finding the Stories in My Life Directions: |. Think about four events in your life that you'll probably never forget. (Hint: Try to remember times when you felt scared, happy, angry, or proud.) 2. Write about the main idea of each story in the boxes below. 3. Decide which story you will write about first. Make a check next to it. =| | | | | : | EE ——————————— | NO a isp a ST agSeE AE age TE gt EE SY TD SG GET ST RE TR SS SS A SIG GE FS 25 MINI-LBSSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * MEANING Scholae Prins Boks, 1957 ammm MINI-LESSON Search for a Topic 0m Purposes To help students identify important events in their lives ‘To help students begin keeping folders of writing ideas Materials © Completed forms of Student Activity 1 (page 9) © Individual copies of Student Activity 2 (page 11) ® An oaktag or construction-paper folder for each student Teaching the Lesson Call on several volunteers to share the story ideas they selected for tudent Activity 1 Say something like this:“"Coming up with a story idea is usually the hardest part of writing, For this reason writers usually try to gather lots of story ideas in folders or notebooks until they are ready to write. These folders will give you a head start when you search for something to write about.” Distribute the writing folders and Student Activity 2. 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHIN RITING + MEANING Schalitie Pfs Books, 1997: _ Date 3 ROE rR RE ' <-> STUDENT ACTIVITY 2 Creating a Time Line Writers write best when they write about things and people they know. Creating 2 time line of your own life—with important experiences and people recorded on it—-can help you come up with good writing ideas. Look at this time line of Matt's life. The numbers represent years. They cover the year of his birth up to the current year. Matt wrote phrases § above and below the number line that tell about events, people, and things that were important to him at different times in his life. ) (Rg ge ge FRE gs SE SS GET RE ST TE GA ME A ES TR On a separate sheet of unlined paper, make a time line of your own life. Look at Matt's to see how to begin. |. On the right-hand side of your time line, write the current year. 2. Then go backward in time, filling in the years. The year you were born will be at the left-hand side of the time line. You may not have to use the entire line. 3. Write words or phrases above and below the line that tell about the important events in your life 4. Draw a line from the words to the time line to indicate the year in which each event occurred. 5. Place your finished time line and Student Activity | (Finding the Stories in My Life) in your writing folder. Refer to them whenever you need a good idea for a writing topic. Which events do you remember best? Think about which one would make an interesting story. Write a title for that story here: i | | | ‘ | & MINL-LESSONS FOR TRACHING WRITING + MEANING oar Pena Bok, 1997(BY; ae am NM URE MINI-LESSON A Writer’s Notebook Purpose ‘To demonstrate the importance of journal writing for writers Materials @ Several different types and sizes of notebooks & Individual copies of Student Activity 3 (pages 13-14) Teaching the Lesson Explain journal and notebook writing by saying something like this: “Many authors keep journals in which they record their memories, obser~ vations, feelings, and story ideas. They write just for themselves about things that are important to them. And they don’t worry about spelling or whether the writing is any good or not. Periodically, writers reread their journal entries to look for writing ideas. Listen to these comments about journal writing by some well-known writers: Jack Prelutsky writes: T save all my ideas notebooks—I have at least 50 —and when I'm ready to write another book of poems I start working my way through all the notebook: (From How Writers Write edited by Pamela Lloyd, Heinemann, 1989) Here’s what Roald Dahl had to say about his notebook: T have had this book ever since I started to write seriously. There are 98 ‘pages in the book .. ..And just about every one of them is filled up on both sides with these so-called story ideas. .. (From Meet the Authors and Illustrators, Scholastic, 1991) ‘And listen to just how important Eve Merriam’s notebook is to her: Lalways have it notebook, always. .. .by my bed. I never travel, even to the post office without a notebook in my hand. .... once got caught without a notebook and it was just painful for me to have to walk all the way home and do nothing but chant over those couple of words I had [in my head}. (From The New Advocate, Summer 1989) Display some notebooks in various sizes, with soft and hard covers and various bindings @piral, stitched, looseleaf). Distribute copies of Student Activity 3, which should be assigned for homework. Have students fill in the date they must bring the notebook for that activity to school. 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + MEANING Selate Prin Boos, 1997STUDENT ACTIVITY 3 Page | My Writer’s Notebook Directions: |. Buy a notebook or make your own. Print your name on the cover: 2. Optional: Decorate the cover with words, drawings, cutout pictures, fabric, or contact paper in a way that shows your personality and interests. For example, if you are a baseball fan, you might write, draw, or paste on your cover a picture of your favorite player, game tickets, trading cards, and baseball terms. 3. Write a notebook entry on the first page. Begin by writing the date. Don't worry about spelling, but write clearly enough for your teacher to understand what you have written. 4, Ifyou have trouble thinking of something to write about, use one of the following starters to get your ideas going: | was really proud the first time |... | remember ... Things my parents always say ... My favorite place is ... Someone (or something) | miss a lot is | wish that... I'm really good at... lll never forget... Someone really special to me is... The most important thing ... This is a family story someone told me... (continued) A RE RS ES ET TREE MEE gy SIE DE 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + MEANING 13 ‘Scholae Prion! Bec, 19977Name Date RaeeE se SeanSeeereeea eeeceaeaear Page 2 5. More suggestions for notebook writing: Write a “Things | Love” list. @ Write a “Things | Hate" list. » Punch a small hole in an index card with a pen. Look through the hole to focus on some object, such as a favorite piece of clothing, a food you love or hate, a special possession—even the inside of a drawer or your closet. Look for the smallest details—such as designs, lines, colors, shapes, markings—and record your observations. 6. SAVETHESE PAGES. Fold them carefully and staple or tape them in your notebook. Look at them again if you're ever stuck for a note- book writing idea. i i a j a I a I q t { a 4 ' f 4 i t : , i 4 a i i i Boerne es ce een 14 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + MEANING Shas Pfeil BoosMeaning: Follow-It-Up ® For writing conferences, have children reread their notebooks to find three entries that might make the most interesting stories. Suggest that they tab those pages with sticky notes, then ask you or a conference partner to help them select a single topic to write about. Ask questions such as the following to help students select a meaningful topic: Writing I think you may have something interesting here. Can you tell me more about it? When you think back to this experience, what else do you remember? Why was it special for you? © Encourage your students to reread their notebooks to look for entries that relate to similar subjects or ideas. Then have them develop a writ ing piece by connecting the entries. © Have your students reread their notebooks periodically to look for word pictures and beautiful language that they can share with you or their classmates. iterature During Literature time, read aloud picture books that portray situations and themes that will stimulate memories of people, places, and events. Following each reading, have your students recall word pictures and beau- tiful language from the book. Then ask your students to write in their notebooks about the memories the book brought to mind, using word pictures and powerful language. The following are just a few examples of memoir picture books that appeal to middle- and upper-clementary students: Home Place by Crescent Dragonwagon (Macmillan, 1990) The Rag Coat by Lauren Mills (Little, Brown, 1991) Always Grandma by Vaunda Michaux Nelson (Putnam, 1988) No Star Nights by Anna Egan Smucker (Knopf, 1989) Home (HarperCollins, 1992), an anthology of essays and poems by 13 well-known authors of children’s books MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + MRANING le Preston Bost, 1997CEE eT Eee ea | | Organization Early in September, Tony, a fourth-grade teacher I know, announced, “I will positively forbid vacation stories. I don’t think I can stand another piece that includes the packing, the car trip, and every sight visited. They’re so boring!” Often, a subject is too broad because the writers want to include everything they know about it. Use the mini-lessons and student activities in this section to show your students how to narrow down their “too-big” ideas to focused topics. Then they will learn to brainstorm rich details about that topic, and organize them into paragraphs that build from beginning to middle to end. hs UU Sea a on ED 17ge RE Re OTT : MINI-LESSON BY ogee Eggs 2. Find the Focus Purpose ‘To demonstrate how a focused, limited subject can improve a story Teaching the Lesson ‘Tall your students that you will read aloud two versions of a story written By a fourth grader. Explain the terms focused and unfocused by saying Jef’ story tells a ltee about a lot of different things. We'll call chis kind of ‘writing ‘unfocused’The second versio “The first version of n zooms in on one small part of the big story and tells a lot about that part. We call this kind of writing “focused. As you Jisten, think about t and a focused story.” che differences between an unfocused My Trip to C: | went to California with my parents and my sister The plane ride to California was boring, First we went to Palm Springs, where my grandparents live. On Friday we drove to Disneyland. That was great! We were staying at the Marriott Hotel in Los Angeles. That night we went out to dinner with my cousins who live there. When we got back to the hotel, my sister and | went up to our room on the elevator and my parents and cousins stayed downstairs in the lobby, My sister and | were sitting ‘on our beds in our room watching two men bobsledding in the Olympics, and all of a sudden a really deep and loud honking noise went off. It was a fire alarm. We were scared till the porter told us it was a false alarm. nia (unfocused) The Scare at the Marriott (focused) My sister and I were sitting on our beds in our room at the Marriott Hotel in Los ‘Angeles watching TV.Two men were bobsled- ding in the Olympics when, all of a sudden, a really deep, loud honking noise went off. At first | thought it was the pipes in the bath- room. Then | thought it was a fire alarm. | was shaking. | opened the door and saw a couple of people in the hall. This one lady had hair curlers on and a light blue nightgown that came over her knees, She ran around the corner like she was going to have a heart attack Then the noise stopped. The lady came back and said out loud, "It's a fire alarm, just like on the ship"” My sister said to me,"What ship?” 1 was really puzzled about everything until a porter came by and said it was a false alarm. We went back to watching TV. By that time bobsledding was over and figure skating was just about to start. 18 25 MINI-LESSONS POR TEACHING WRITING + O} RGANIZATION ‘Sele Prfesionsl Books 1997ARE ese es Ee RET en SE ee RT et OE es OE as EE ————=> STUDENT ACTIVITY 4 Compare Focused and Unfocused Versions After the reading, have your students comment on the differences between the focused and unfocused versions, Record their comments on a chart or overhead transparency using the following organizer. [Possible student responses are shown in italics.] Version 1—Unfocused Version 2—Focused Just a fist of things ‘more interesting boring scary and funny told about too many places showed what wos happening people were talking epee eT tg Tm ARP EP TRE YF ag ON NB Lb MINI-LESSON ~/ Limit the Topic em Pr & Purpose To extend the preceding lesson by providing additional practice in recog- nizing and narrowing an unfocused topic Material @ Student Activity 5 (pages 21-22) Teaching the Lesson ‘ Help students recall the unfocused version of Jeff's story about his trip to California (see Mini-lesson 4) by saying something like this: “First Jeff wrote about many different things he and his family did on their trip to California. He told about the plane ride, visiting his grandparents, driving to Disneyland, going to dinner with his cousins, and about the alarm. going off when he and his sister were watching the Olympics on TV. Most of you thought that this kind of ‘list’ wasn’t really interesting. “I thought that Jeff's second version, which focused on the night the hotel’s alarm went off, was a more interesting story, Who remembers some of the details he gave us so that we could see how scary and funny that experience was?” | Call on students to contribute details, and supply any they omit. ‘Then ask, “What other parts of the trip to California might Jeff have chosen to focus on?” 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TBACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION 19 Sida Psion Bok, 1997If someone suggests “Disneyland,” point out that Jeff might end up with another “list” story if he just wrote about all the rides he went on in the amusement park. Ask for suggestions about how Jeff could avoid that problem by limiting his subject even further. [Possible responses: Write “about the most exciting or most boring ride he went on. Write about something funy or scary that happened at the park.] Distribute Student Activity 5. [Answers: Numbers 1, 3, and 4 zoom in on a united, focused topic.] rary" 0g ENN A NRE 6) i MINI-LESSON 7 : Focus with a Topic Web "purpose ‘To demonsttave how to construct a topic web Material © Individual copies of Student Activity 6 (page 23) Teaching the Lesson ‘Ask your students to think again about Jeff's first attempt to write about his trip to California (or reread his first draft in Mini-lesson 4 on page 18). Explain that one way Jeff could have dealt with the problem of hav- ing too big a topic would have been to break down his broad subject into specific, individual topics. On the chalkboard draw an outline of a topic web (see Student Activity 6). | Write “Trip to California” inside the web’s central oval. ‘Ask students to suggest subtopics—the little stories that Jeff might have chosen as a focus for his writing. {As ideas are offered, write them in surrounding ovals and connect them to the central one. 4 ‘Tell your students that they will now have the opportunity to create their own topic web. Distribute copies of Student Activity 6. 20 125 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION Silas Profesional Books 1997 BES eee eee eee ee ee eee eee eee eee eeeName _ ASE OT SEO ER SE OE RT CRE RS OR SS __— Date __ _—__- STUDENT ACTIVITY 5 Page | #1 , B SIRE SS SST GE SR GE ERE GE PE FS I IE EA SS TSE SE TR) eae Look for Limited Topics Directions: Read the following stories. Place a check beside the ones that zoom in on a limited, focused topic. MR. FIX-IT When | was three years old, | liked cars and trucks. Once | took the Toyota's motor apart while my mom was doing the laundry. | climbed over the small fence in front of our house. | got my grandfather's tools. It was 11:00. | worked and worked and soon | was done. At 4:00 my grandfather came home from work. | got a spanking, After my mom picked up my sister at school, everybody tried to fix the car's motor, Nobody could fix it. So we had to give it back to the dealer and we got a new car. Bobby, grade 3 WHEN I WENT TO CANADA | went to Canada with my family, First we went to the glass museum. Five hours later, we went to Rochester. We slept there. The next day we went to Niagara Falls. We rode the boat. | was scared because the boat went in front of the falls and | got so wet. We drove to Niagara-on-the-Lake and we went to the store and we slept in a hotel. Sally, grade 3 THE BAD RAINY DAY One day it was rainy and windy out. A tree fell on our school, It was an old tree. It didn't damage the school because that part of the building was made of brick. The playground was closed because part of the tree was on the slide, Some of the (continued) 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION ‘Schlete PrgfsinBoss, 1997 i i t ¥ h i i i i { i SE RR EE ET ER EG TR. TE IE 21branches had smashed the windows. The next day it was rainy again and another tree fell down. The custodians chopped up the trees. Then they put them on the truck and took them away. Jeffrey, grade 3 THE ACCIDENT | had one slice of pizza in one hand and my other slice of pizza in the other hand. | put my soda under my arm. | was walking slow. As | was on the way to my table, a man was getting up, and his shoulder bumped into my arm and knocked the soda bottle down on the floor: It splashed my face and my clothes. | looked like a monster, Then | went to the bathroom to clean myself up. | got out fast because | wanted to eat my pizza. John, grade 4 DISNEYLAND When my family and | went to Disneyland in California, | went ‘on Space Mountain. It was fast. | also went on Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted House. My sister liked Mickey's Treehouse. On Runaway Train, | saw dinosaur bones that squirted water. On Star Wars, { liked R2D2 and C3PO. The driver took us in space on his first drive. We saw a movie and the seats went sideways and up and down. Lincoin, grade 3 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION Stole Pfestral Boks 1997 BEE eee eee eee eee eee ee eee eee eee ecName Date IE SS I SG ATG EI OS GIS RS EE DER GO I OR EAT ES CE AS =~ STUDENT ACTIVITY 6 Using a Topic Web Directions: Make a topic web for any of the following “too-big" topics, or use your own idea: MyTrip to My Favorite TV Shows My Friends My Family My Favorite Games and Sports | S Now choose one of the topics you've listed and on a separate sheet of paper, write that topic in the center of a web. Brainstorm details and events that go with that topic. Doing this well help you discover focused story ideas. ee eee ee a SS TE SE EE SE RE EAE SE EE ES SE ES FEE TS OD perce er er Eg EE GES ER EA EE EE EE n 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION ‘Stileste Prfinal Bole, 1997pur gg Tg RN RY * i f MINI-LESSON LU 3 Let the Title Show the Focus Purpose ‘To show how titles often reflect the focus (unifying idea) of a story Material @ Individual copies of Student Activity 7 (page 25) Teaching the Lesson Help your students recall Jeff's titles for the two versions of his story: “My Trip to California” and “A Scare at the Marriott” (Mini-lesson 4, page 18). Point out that a title often gives the reader a clue about whether a story will be focused or unfocused. Copy the following pair of titles on the chalkboard. Ask, “Which title shows that the writer has focused on a small, sharp, clear subject?” ooking Pancakes with Grandma Title 1: Title 2: My Relatives Point out to your students that “Cooking Pancakes with Grandma” could be a chapter in a book called My Relatives. Encourage them to think about writing a chapter at a time when they have too broad a sub- ject. Distribute Student Activity 7 (page 25). [Answers: a;5.a;6.a;7.b. B: Answers will vary.] 1. b; 2. b; 3.4; 4, 24 25 MINI-LBSSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION ‘Sihlic Prefcona Boks, 1997 enName BaEues Date Hs PR SE OG DE SRE SE SE RSE ER tT —______- STUDENT ACTIVITY 7 | ' Find the Titles that Show i i a Focus } }} A. Directions: Read the following pairs of titles. Check the title in i each pair that best focuses on a small, sharp, clear subject. t | i hae a) Horses i 4 _____b) Getting Stepped on by My Own Horse i | a) Kids in M ; ly Class i ____b) Archer the Burper ‘ p { 3: a) Getting Splashed on Space Mountain } b) A Day in Disneyland i 4. a) My Collection of Baseball Cards i ij b) My Hobbies i as a) My favorite baseball card i A b) My Collection of Baseball Cards i 6. ___a) Trying the High Dive b) A Day at the Poo! i h i 7. ____a) My Best Memories f b) My First Bike Ride h I B. Directions: Write titles that would limit the following “too-big” i B topics. (Hint: Choose the one thing that you could write a lot about) i ( y a! a) My Favorite Things i See i f 2. a) How | Spent My Summer Vacation } ies b) cues aueaaueHeneuneae i 3 : My Relatives ; : y Relat i ae) een i a 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION 25 ‘Scholae Psion Boos, 1997Focus: Follow-It-U; Writing Literature 26 @ Ask students to create two or more alternative titles for stories they are ‘writing or planning to write."Then have them. work in pairs to select the title that best shows the focus of their story. @ Before students begin to write a new piece, have them develop several possible titles. Ask them to choose the title that will help chem focus ona small, clear subject. © During a writing conference, respond to an unfocused draft with com- ments such as the following: You tell about so many different things here. Which one part was really special? How come? Can you tell me more about it? ‘That sounds interesting. Why not write about that part and include all the details you talked about. Think of a new tide that would help you focus. © After reading aloud a chapter of a story, have students discuss what it was mainly about. Reread the chapter’ title and iivite students to comment on it and suggest possible alternative titles the author might have used. 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEAGHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION ‘Slate Prefesinal Boos 1957F sits ait Hialeah tin act tliat addi eth a i MINI-LESSON | is} How a Story Is Developed Purpose To demonstrate how writers organize information Material © Individual copies of Student Activity 8 (pages 28-29) Teaching the Lesson Distribute Student Activity 8 and read aloud the story “Learning About Leeches.” Read the directions in Section B aloud. If your students are unfamiliar with the term paragraph, explain that a paragraph groups together sen- | tences that are about the same topic. Ask the following question to help students get started with the para- graph exercise: “If Nicholas found out that barbers also applied leeches to sick people, where would that fact belong?” [Answers to Student Activity 8: A. 1. How leeches eat; 2. How leeches were used as medicine, B. (a) 2; (b) 1; () 3; (d) 3. Main topic of third paragraph: leech reproduction. ] 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION 27 ‘SthlaiePriional Boos, 1997——_"- STUDENT ACTIVITY 8 Working with Paragraphs A. Directions: Read 4th-grade Nicholas's story “Learning About Leeches)” which follows: Did you know that leeches and Dracula have something in common? They both suck blood from animals. A leech eats by going to an animal and biting into it with its sharp teeth. It then sucks the blood from the animal. This supplies the leech with the food it needs. Leeches used to be used as medicine. A doctor would put several leeches on a patient. The leeches would suck the person's blood. People thought that by sucking the person's blood, the leeches would be taking away the disease. This was not a good idea because instead of getting better, people would almost die from losing too much blood, and some did die. |. What does the first paragraph mainly tell about? 2. What does the second paragraph mainly tell about? (continued) Wee eg gg a a SL 28 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION ‘Schli riona Book 1997Name _ eee Date RE AGE ES RS ER GTR ST OER SI OR OE ORE CEE EG EAS RE ATO, r ree? ft B. Directions: Read the following facts about leeches. Write a | : i before each fact that belongs in the first paragraph. Write a 2 before i each fact that belongs in the second paragraph. Write a 3 before a fact that doesn't belong in either the first or second paragraph and should : be in a third paragraph. i a) Leeches are still used sometimes to prevent blood t t swellings. i i —__— ) Leeches have two sucking mouths, one in front and one } in back. r { c) Leeches lay their eggs in cases called cocoons. } i _____ d) When the young hatch, they attach themselves to the } underside of an adult leech and are carried around until 4 they are old enough to be on their own. i { What is the main topic of the third paragraph? } i | Ce pare ere ee re ee ee 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION 29 Sd Pefeoa Bosks 1997 fees reeseeee cee age ge RMN GNA RN i MINI-LESSON 9 :. A} Focus with a Lead Purposes ‘To show how leads reflect and ditect the focus ofa story ‘To demonstrate how writers experiment with several leads to create an offective beginning ‘Materials © An overhead transparency ot individual copies of Student Activity 9 (page 31) ® A copy of E.B.White’s book Charlotte's Web (HarperCollins), if avail- able Teaching the Lesson Read aloud, from Student Activity 9, B. B.White’s experiments with different beginnings for Charlotte's Web. ‘Ask your students to select or vote for the lead that they would have used to introduce the story. Reed aloud White’ final choice, (d). (Reading directly from the book at this point adds drama to this lesson.) ‘Ask children why they think the author may have chosen that lead. Discuss the information that each of the leads provides for the reader. [Possible responses: (a) a description of Wilbur, the main character (band c) a description of the barn, the setting of the story; (8) dialague that hints at the story’s problem; (c) actions and dialogue that hint at the problem; (6) a description of Charlotte, another main character 30 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION ‘Silla Prsonal Book, 1997 BEES eee eee ee eaName Date eee STUDENT ACTIVITY 9 Page | | Choose Your Favorite Leads E. B.White’s Lead Experiments for Charlotte’s Web Directions: Choose three leads from those below that make you want to read more of the story. Write a |, 2, and 3 in the blanks next to your first, second, and third choices. ___a) “He was what farmers call a spring pig—which sim- ply means that he was bor in springtime. He was small, had a good physique, and was generally white and he lived in the cellar.” b) “The warmest and pleasantest part of Zuckerman's barn was the part where the cows were on the south side. It was warm because the sun shone in through the door, and it was warm because of the manure pile.” ¢ “A barn can have a horse in it, and a barn can have a cow in it, and a barn can have hens scratching in the chaff and swallows flying in and out through the door—but if a barn hasn't got a pig in it, it is hardly worth talking about.” & “Where's Papa going with that ax?’ said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. ‘Out to the hoghouse, replied Mrs. Arable. ‘Some pigs were born last night!” SE SE I Ss SECS RS SR ES I PR ITE SE A SE ESE TES SE EEE gs HE as Es RE gs SEs ER SE A EE (continued) Meee a a eg eae a aaa 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION 31Date Name Page BP i 6) “At midnight, John Arable pulled his boots on, lita i lantern, and walked out through the woods to the hog: i house, ‘The sow lay on her side; her eyes were closed, Fuddled in a comer stood the newbom pigs, ten of { them. “Ten of them’ he murmured. ‘Nine full size and one { runty pig, Little Wilbur” ____4) "Charlotte was a big grey spider who lived in a door, way, But there is no use talking about Charlotte until we have talked about her close friend—a pig named Wilbur.” E.B.White's drafts and revision notes, see The Annotated Charlotte's Web by Peter Neumeyer, HarperCollins, 1993 (Leads are from The Horn Book, October 1982.) For more of i h f i | 1] | 1 Demers es ER SE SE SET SE |i 32 as MINL-LBSSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION SPE eee eee ee ecoee RE AER ROM AE i f MINI-LESSON Loo. Experiment with Leads Purpose ‘To show how student writers can experiment with leads to find one that will (1) capture the reader's attention and (2) reflect the mood of the story Material & Individual copies or an overhead transparency of Student Activity 10 (page 34) Teaching the Lesson Point out that writers try to create leads that will grab readers. Ask stu- dents to think about which leads in Student Activity 10 would make them want to read the story. Read the leads aloud, one pair at a time, After each reading, have stu- dents vote for the lead they prefer. Call on students to offer reasons for their preferences. ‘Ask students how ‘Todd (“Space Mountain”) may have discovered his second lead, [Possible responses: It was the third sentence. He dropped the first two sentences. He added parts that showed he was scared.] Explain that a lead often provides a clue about a story's mood— 4 whether it will be funny, scary, exciting, or sad. Have students reread Lead #2 for each story in Student Activity 10 and discuss the mood and the language that creates it. 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION 33 Si Pinel By, 1997 Se Baca tfesee ca see Ceca seee eet eeeecaseeefesee ce seeCee Ca seeC Ce seet eee Ca eeCfeseecaeeseeCaeeU Ca seeeereeCaeeL tee)vie Name Date ame STUDENT ACTIVITY 10 i Select the Best Beginnings F pirections: Read the following introductions, or leads. For each story H check the lead that you think works best. Think about what makes it a i good introduction. Space Mountain ' __ Lead #1 When | got to Disneyworld, my best and scariest ride was called Space Mountain. Space Mountain is a very, very scary roller coaster. When | saw Space Mountain, | began to shiver: Once | got inside, it looked like ! was in another dimension. | got inside, it looked like | was in another dimension. There were screans all over the place. One screen showed what the ride would be like, After | saw it, | said to myself, “Am | really going to go through with this?” Todd, grade 4 4 i 4 i } i ___ Lead #2 ‘When | saw Space Mountain at Disneyworld, | began to shiver, Once i ___ Lead #1 Yesterday | went to my friend's house and ate lunch there. Just when we were going to leave, we both heard a noise. {t came from upstairs. The noise sounded like footsteps. We went upstairs to investigate. My friend ran away fram the thudding noise, too. ___ Lead #2 ‘One dark, spooky night | heard a thud while watching the movie ' The Noise Bourg Frankenstein, | thought it came from upstairs. | went to the jj second floor to investigate | could not find a thing. | went to the attic. froze tke an icicle Emily, grade 5 i eer ce erg ng A A RT NN i 34 25 MINL-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION 4 ‘Scholae Prine Books 1977 ESE ee eee eee eee eee eee eergn gn Ag RF RNs { (Ig { MINI-LESSON pul ‘Great Beginnings: Writers’ Techniques Purpose To study the techniques that writers use for creating introductions Material © Individual copies of Student Activity 11 (pages 36-37) Teaching the Lesson Ask your students why writers try to create good beginnings for their sto- ries, [Possible responses: First few sentences help me decide whether to read the book or look for a different one. Tells me what the story will be about, Helps me know if its my kind of story.] Write the following list on a chalkboard or transparency: Examples of techniques writers use for story leads (beginnings): © Picture or unusual image i ® Dialogue (could be one person thinking or talking) ® Action ! ® Question 9 Interesting fact Read aloud the following leads. Ask your students to identify the tech- nique that the writer used. “Imagine being so good at gymnastics that you could do handstands, backbends, and walkovers—all on the jiggling back of a cantering horse.” (From American Girl magazine, July-Aug., 1995) iD: Did you know cats were mummified in Egypt a long time ago? [Possible responses: 1. a picture, an unusual image; 2. a question, an inter- esting fact.) Distribute Student Activity 11. Say:*Choose the letter from the key that identifies cach author’s tech- nique. Some leads may demonstrate two techniques.” [Answers: 1. D, Q; 2. P; 3. P; 4. D,A; 5.1, Q; 6.4, Bl 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION 35 ‘SchlatcPfsional Boos, 1997Narne ___ ___ Date ____ Te a SP RR A I ——___> STUDENT ACTIVITY 11 Page | Tell the Technique Directions: Choose the letter(s) that identify each writer's technique(s) for creating a great beginning. Write it/them in the blank following ' each example. r | | Key: P = Picture or unusual image D = Dialogue Action Q = Question | = Interesting fact | aaa to you? (From “Piano Lessons” by Charlie, grade 4). Technique: — 2, When my father woke me at six o'clock next morning. | knew at ‘once that this was the day of days. It was the day | longed for and the day | dreaded. It was also the day of butterflies in the stomach, except they were worse than butterflies. They were snakes. [had snakes in the stomach from the moment \ opened my eyes on ‘that Friday morning, (From Danny The Champion of the World by Roald Dahi, Viking Penguin) Technique: ___— | i 4 1. “When are you going to practice?” Has your mom ever said this f i ' A 4 t : | | ; (continued ) } etree eg RR I ETT 36 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION Selo Peso Beok, 1997Name Date ES SE SEG RE RT RG SAB ES TE HR OD AS Page 2 3, It was a gray November afternoon in Michigan’s North Woods. Mark Wolfe stood motionless; only his eyes moved as a cold breeze rustled the brown oak leaves overhead and the steam from his breath drifted over his face. (From “Buck Fever” by Kendal Taylor, Cricket Magazine, Nov. 1989) (From “A Close Game” by Sadi, grade 6) Bec hinichies ererererererererereeeeeeeeeee 5, Did you know walruses’ young when born weigh 100 pounds? They are even born on ice. (From “Walruses” by Emily, grade 3) Technique: 6. As slim and straight as an arrow, Donald Bonnette glides over the water with grace and ease, the way a bird glides on currents of ain. (From “Wizard on Water Skis’ by Louis Sabin, Boys Life Magazine) Technique: 4, "Dribble, Dave, dribble!” | screamed. We were losing the soccer } game 2-I against Fox Meadow. Boy, was | mad." | fF ed sect cs ee ge ot eee eee i Technique: ; i 7 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION 3 Schlieren Book, 1997 eesti sgLeesgegetesg eee esse ese eeee ees geese sLEEUGreat Beginnings: Follow-I¢-Up Writing © Explain that most writers do not come up with masterful leads on heir first try. A good lead is usually the result of brainstorming and experimentation. Read aloud the following, example of a third grader’ revision of a lead for a story called “Shamoo”: Lead 1:“When I was in Florida my family and 1 went to Sea World.” Lead 2:Shamoo is a fourteen-and- is trained to talk” -half-foot-long killer whale. He ‘Then ask your students to reread the beginning of a piece they are currently writing and to develop one ot two alternate leads for it. Invite them to read their new leads to the class or to a partner to help them make their final choice. & Create a “Great Beginnings” bulletin board for displaying effective Ieads written by students and professional authors. Provide markers and oaktag so that students can recopy the leads for the display. Select leads from the Story Bank (pages 81-96) to read to your stu- dents. © Encourage students to share leads from their own writing, and invite classmates to comment on each other's techniques. Literature After reading a short story or a book’s chapter aloud, reread the lead. ‘Ask:“What did this writer do here to make us want to read on?” Invite your scudents to share leads from the stories they read in books, magazines, and newspapers. Everyone should try to identify the specif ic technique or techniques (action, dialogue, question, interesting fact, etc) that the writer used to attract readers. 38 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION Ske Pfesonl Bes, 1997 PEELE EEE EEE eee eee eee eee ee ee ee Ee eee eee eee eee EEL Lalgrr my ENT ER AORN erg H i MINI-LESSON =} Satisfying Endings ‘. Purpose To study the ways writers end their stories "Materials © Two or three student stories from the Story Bank (pages 81~96) that would be appropriate for your students © Individual copies of Student Activity 12 (page 40) Teaching the Lesson Copy the list shown in “Examples of Story-Ending’Techniques” from Student Activity 12 onto a chart or overhead transparency. Explain that today’s lesson will focus on techniques writers use to cre~ ave endings for their stories. Ask your students what they hope to find out when they get to the end of a story. [Possible responses: how a problem was solved; whether it had a happy or sad ending; how things finally turned out in the end.) Point out the following criteria for effective endings: | The ending should be connected to the story. 2 It should be interesting—something that the reader will remember. 3 It should tie things up and not leave the reader wondering what hap- pened. 4 It should be brief—just a few sentences. Tell your students that you will read aloud stories written by children. Remind them to listen to the stories carefully, paying particular attention to the way each writer ended his or her story. After each reading, ask your students to look at “Examples of Story- Ending Techniques” in Student Activity 12 to help them determine which technique the writer used. If someone suggests a technique that is not on the list, add it. Distribuve Student Activity 12. [Answers: 1. C; 2. D; 3. Ej 4.4; 5. B.] B MINT-Luss I MSLESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION Pktin! ly 1967i Name He _ Date Be | Examinin STUDENT ACTIVITY 12 Examining Story Endings Directions: |. Read "Examples of Story-Ending Techniques,” below. 2. Read Students’ Story Endings,” also below. 3, Find the technique that best describes each ending. Write ‘the letter for that technique in front of the ending. Examples of Story-Ending Techniques A. Describes the writer's present thoughts or feelings about a past experience. B. Tells how the story problem was solved. means to the writer D. Tells about what happened afterward or predicts something that might happen in the future. E, Sums things up. Students’ Story Endings ___ |, Max is not just a pet, he’s a brother, He follows me everywhere if | tell him to. But the most important thing is that we love each other. ____2. After that | never again left my baby brother alone in the house. ____3. Now you know why Amy is my best friend. 4, Of course, I've calmed down a lot since fifth grade, but whenev- er | look back on that day | always think, "Why did it have to be me?” ___5. My dad marched up with a screwdriver and the door swung open. “We're free! We're free!” Lauren and | kept yelling, We both ran I ‘to my dad and gave him a hug. 4 eg TEA a SE SE Sg ER SES SE TE RE EST TR | 4 C. Tells what the subject of the story—a person, pet, or object — | 1 f gs RS RE gags Og TEN gs EE EE RA ET TL RE ES 0 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TRACHING WRITING + ORGANIZATION ‘Sil rf Book, 1997 eeeSatisfying Endings: Follow-It-Up Writing # Before they complete their stories, have students pair up and discuss different endings they might write. ® After completing a draft of a story, invite several volunteers to rewrite their endings using a different technique. Have these students read aloud their story and its two endings for a class discussion. @ During peer writing conferences, suggest that students ask each other, i “How do you think you might end this story?” or “Is there another way for the story to end?” Literature © Have your students reread the ending of a book they have finished to identify the author's technique. ® Collect a variety of short picture books that have “twist” endings for | your students to enjoy and discuss. For example, The Frog Prince Continued by Jon Scieszka (Viking) ends this way:The Prince kissed the Princess. They both turned into frogs. And they hopped off happily ever after. @ Read aloud or have your students read nonfiction articles found in magazines and newspapers and discuss the technique that each writer used to create an ending. © After a tead-alond, ask your students to suggest additional endings that the author might have used. 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING * ORGANIZATION 4l 4 ‘Silas Prion! Boos, 1997 il seeSlee er eee Ree | | | Development | “We had a great time at the park and then we went home.” | Have you seen writing like this? I bet you have. Weening i students off of writing sentences that “tell” rather than “show” the reader what is happening is one of the toughest challenges in teaching writing. But the mini-lessons in this chapter will help you do it. They include examples of both kinds of writing to help your students really see the difference showing-not-telling can make. ‘They will learn to use specific information, description, and visual details to i create stories of greater depth and impact. CRS En on an ee en eS ee oe Sa: 43& 44 — f (|e MINI-LESSON LUO} writing That Shows Purpose ‘To demonstrate how students can. develop their writing with specific, honest information that shows, rather than tells, the reader what is hap- pening ‘Material ¢ Individual copies of Student Activity 13 (page 45) Teaching the Lesson Demonstrate the difference between writing that shows and writing that tells. First, write on the chalkboard, “The teacher was angry.” Then announce that you are going to act like an angry teacher. Begin, for example, by rapping on a desk with a ruler and shouting, “One more sound and everyone stays in for recess!” Stomp to the chalkboard, scowl, fold your arms actoss your chest, and say,“I heard someone laugh. All right, then, fifty math problems for homework!” ‘Then —as yourself—turn to your students and ask them to describe your previous words and actions.AAs they do, write what they say on the vnalkboard, (They'll say things such as You stomped to the chalkboard and ‘Your eyebrows jammed together) Then read aloud their descriptions. Ask stu- dents to compare their description on the board to the original sentence, “The teacher was angry.” Explain to your students that the sentence “The teacher was angry” is writing that tells, But their descriptions of your actions show a reader ‘What a character is like and what is happening. Point out that good writ ers try to show—not tell. ‘Distribute Student Activity 13. (Answers: 1. E; 2. C; 3.5 4. Dj 5. B] 25 MINI-LESSONS FOR TEACHING WRITING + DEVELOPMENT ‘Silt Pfeinal Boks, 977 BEEBE EEE Eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee Eee eee Eee Eee EEL GLa