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William Forrest - American Dream Essay Final Revised

The document discusses PTSD in Americans and how increased awareness and support can help those suffering. It notes that PTSD is common in military veterans, with up to 30% developing the condition from traumatic experiences during service. Left untreated, PTSD can worsen over time and potentially lead to substance abuse or dependence. The document advocates for greater recognition of PTSD to help provide access to support groups and mental healthcare, which can help victims cope with their trauma and potentially achieve remission of symptoms.

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0% found this document useful (0 votes)
63 views11 pages

William Forrest - American Dream Essay Final Revised

The document discusses PTSD in Americans and how increased awareness and support can help those suffering. It notes that PTSD is common in military veterans, with up to 30% developing the condition from traumatic experiences during service. Left untreated, PTSD can worsen over time and potentially lead to substance abuse or dependence. The document advocates for greater recognition of PTSD to help provide access to support groups and mental healthcare, which can help victims cope with their trauma and potentially achieve remission of symptoms.

Uploaded by

api-692340214
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Will Forrest

Mr.Smith

Honors Junior Literature

19 October 2023

PTSD in Americans

Revisions

New additions

Delete

Incorrect grammar

Correct grammar

Americans who are affected by PTSD are people in need of help and are going to keep

suffering until Americans as a whole become more aware of them and have our actions shape

(shaped) towards benefiting these people because people often overlook the cause.

PTSD can come in all different shapes and forms, for example, the most common,

military PTSD. People can obtain PTSD from traumatic experiences and when serving in the

military, many traumatic experiences occur. “In fact, military service is the most common cause

of PTSD in men. Studies of Afghanistan and Iraq War veterans have shown that as many as 30

percent have developed PTSD (military PTSD)”. These people can watch people die, be injured,

be tortured and many other horrible events that leave them scarred.(Explain the significance

rather than explaining the quote) Things to take away from these experiences is that trauma from

the war lasts a lifetime if not properly treated After these events occur these men and women

may have flashbacks that seem very real and could also lead to seizures and other medical
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emergencies which can cause harm to the individual. If someone experiences any traumatic

events in their life it's important to get them checked out by a doctor to make sure they don’t

have PTSD or other harmful repercussions of that event. “Post-traumatic stress disorder

symptoms may start within one month of a traumatic event, but sometimes symptoms may not

appear until years after the event. These symptoms cause significant problems in social or work

situations and in relationships. They can also interfere with your ability to go about your normal

daily tasks (Mayoclinic ).” (Again explain the significance of this quote) Symptoms can affect

anyone experiencing PTSD so it is important to get them checked out. If someone ends up

having PTSD from any traumatic event there are an ample amount of different ways to treat it.

The first and most recommended would be group therapy, this group will share their experiences

and ask for advice or just have their voice heard so they know they are not alone.“It's normal to

feel like you're not ready to get help for PTSD, or to come up with reasons why now isn't the

right time. You may never feel truly ready — but if you're having symptoms, it's better to get

treatment now than to wait (Robert tucker)”. . Finding out that someone has PTSD can be scary

when experiencing it for the first time but it’s important to know that no ones (one is) alone and

there are people who are able to Some people can help and have had similar experiences to relate

too (to).

PTSD can have a number of several effects on someone and their mental and physical

health. These effects include being easily scared or frightened, always being defensive and ready

for danger, not being able to concentrate, not being able to sleep, aggressive behavior, etc. “They

may relive the event through flashbacks or nightmares; they may feel sadness, fear or anger; and

they may feel detached or estranged from other people (Psychiatry)”. These affects (effects)

should not be taken lightly and if there’s someone that’s experiencing these, talk to them and let
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them know that they could have PTSD and ask if they have had any traumatic experiences in

their life recently. People often overlook PTSD and think it will simply go away over time once

they forget about the issue they had. This has been proven very false and it could actually get

worse if not properly addressed and treated. Leaving it will only make it worse and in time could

lead to serious injuries mentally and physically. “It is not uncommon for untreated PTSD to

result in the use of or dependence on drugs and alcohol to cope with intense feelings of anxiety

and depression(iuhealth)”. These addictions become very serious and can cause death over time.

The reason why people need to be more aware of people who have PTSD is to stop epidemics

from happening involving drugs and other substances.This closely relates back to the support

groups which can help people cope with their PTSD so it does not get any worse and the person

can get back to their life as soon as possible.

PTSD’s (PTSD is) a known mental illness that has a range of ways of being treated. The

best way to treat it would be through sessions of talking to people who have similar trauma.

There are some well recommended trauma support sessions that Some well-recommended

trauma support sessions will work with someone and help them try and overcome their traumatic

experiences to get the person back on track. “I think one of the things that helped was that they

validated me (Peer support 25sec)”. It can be the smallest moments that may help someone get

better and even though they may not think it helps, it really does. Everyone has their own

personal issues going on and going to one of these talk groups, everyone respects that and makes

it a safe space to share your experiences and be recognized for that. It may also be beneficial to

go to a doctor and figure out how long you've had PTSD and if it's going to need treatment or

not. “In many cases, PTSD treatment can get rid of your symptoms. For other people, symptoms

may be less intense or happen less often. After treatment you will have learned skills to better
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cope with symptoms. People who get treatment improve their quality of life (PTSD.gov)”. PTSD

can last from weeks up to your entire life if not treated properly. PTSD should not be something

to take lightly and can lead to much more serious problems later on in life unless properly

treated. “ Symptoms may recur or intensify in response to reminders of the traumatic event,

ongoing life stressors, or newly experienced traumatic events.7 Without treatment, a person can

have PTSD for years or the rest of his or her life (SSA.gov)”. (Explain the significance more)

Often many Americans go untreated for PTSD leaving room for the long term effects of PTSD to

occur. Making people aware of this issue could save the lives of many Americans battling PTSD.

Treatment doesn’t have to involve medical surgery and being hospitalized but more of just

in-person interactions with people dealing with the same things you're dealing with. These

interactions help calm the person down and take their mind off of their traumatic experiences.

Americans who are affected by PTSD are people in need of help and are going to keep

suffering until Americans become more aware of them and shape our actions towards benefiting

them because people often overlook the cause. It’s important to get these people people suffering

from PTSD help and provide them with all the accessibility to support groups, doctors, friends,

family, and anyone who they may need to talk to to feel better and overlook their struggles. It’s

key to try and give these people the chance back at to a normal stress-free life.

Will,

I think you did a solid job of finding useful evidence to back up the claim that awareness

and action can help to support Americans with PTSD. Where I would like to see some

improvement is in your analysis and quote integrations (for quote integrations, review

independently or talk to me for extra help). Analysis is meant to show how evidence proves
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our claims and thesis. Rather than summarizing or reporting on what is mentioned in the

evidence, you need to instead connect the evidence to the struggles of having PTSD in

America specifically. I.e. Why is this a significant issue in America, what could be done

differently, and why is this significant.

Work Cited

Christopher, Tia. “The Peer Support Honestly, That, I’d Say, Was the Turning Point for Me.”

YouTube, YouTube, 12 Oct. 2017, www.youtube.com/watch?v=HURavC2S8D0.


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Clinic, Staff. “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).” Mayo Clinic, Mayo Foundation for

Medical Education and Research, 13 Dec. 2022,

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes

/syc-20355967.

Gov, SSA. “Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Fact Sheet - the United States Social ...” PTSD Fact

Sheet, 2013, www.ssa.gov/disability/Documents/PTSD%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf. \

Melinda Smith, M.A. “PTSD in Military Veterans.” HelpGuide.Org, 30 Mar. 2023,

www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/ptsd-in-military-veterans.htm#:~:text=In%20fact

%2C%20military%20service%20is,developing%20PTSD%20is%20even%20higher.

Mental health, VA. “Va.Gov: Veterans Affairs.” Why Get Treatment?, 25 May 2012,

www.ptsd.va.gov/understand_tx/why_tx.asp#:~:text=In%20many%20cases%2C%20PTS

D%20treatment,improve%20their%20quality%20of%20life.

Taylor-Desir, Monica. “What Is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?” Psychiatry.Org - What

Is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?, Nov. 2022,

www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd#:~:text=People%20with%20PTS

D%20have%20intense,or%20estranged%20from%20other%20people.

Tucker, Robert. “Why I Didn’t Ask for Help Right Away.” YouTube, YouTube, 11 Oct. 2017,

www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-1lmP-ASeM&t=60s.

University, Indiana. “The Long-Term Effects of PTSD.” IU Health, 13 July 2023,

iuhealth.org/thrive/the-long-term-effects-of-ptsd#:~:text=It%20is%20not%20uncommon

%20for,%2C%20physical%2C%20and%20relationship%20problems.
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Works Cited

Rubric

Skill Not Foundational Proficient Advanced


Yet
Identifies a topic Appears in first Thesis establishes a
paragraph complex claim

Thesis establishes a
topic and a claim

Thesis Comments:

Includes three or Includes multiple Includes specific,


fewer sources pieces of evidence meaningful, and
(from 8-10 sources) well-chosen evidence
Some evidence that clearly relate to that relates to the
relates to the thesis the thesis thesis

Includes multiple Includes a wide variety


Evidence pieces of evidence in of evidence
each body paragraph (primary/secondary
sources, political
Includes multiple types cartoons, opinion
of evidence pieces, studies, poetry,
fiction/narrative, etc.)

Comments:
9

Summarizes Explains how evidence Explains well-selected


sources supports topic points of comparison
sentence of individual among sources and
paragraphs evidence and their
connection to the
Explains how evidence thesis
Analysis supports the thesis of
the essay Demonstrates use of
advanced vocabulary
and varies sentence
patterns; evidence of
distinct voice and style
in the writing

Comments:

Little connection Explains how the Clearly explains


between texts; texts/sources are relationships among
difficult for the related, though points texts (how they
reader to see how could be more selective confirm or challenge
the texts are related or better developed each other, build on
each other, provide
Synthesis Includes multiple differing perspectives,
sources in each body etc.)
paragraph
Utilizes a variety of
Utilizes transition transition words and
words and phrases phrases

Comments:

Some elements Heading is correctly No errors in MLA format


missing or some formatted
errors in MLA format
Pages are numbered

Most in-text citations


are correctly formatted

Works Cited: each


source entry is in correct
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MLA MLA format


Format Comments:

Shows evidence of Most quotes are All quotes are correctly


basic proofreading correctly integrated integrated

Follows essay Shows evidence of


Conventions
organization careful proofreading

Shows evidence of
proofreading

Comments:

Essay Checklist

Content:
Thesis is the last sentence of my first paragraph
Each body paragraph has a topic sentence that is argumentative and relates to the
contents of the paragraph
I have included the required amount of evidence
My analysis explains how the evidence proves my claims
My body paragraphs relate back to my topic sentence and my thesis
I have attempted to synthesize my sources (agreement, disagreements, etc).
By restated thesis is the first sentence of my conclusion paragraph
I have properly cited my sources (in-text, works cited)

Writing
I have eliminated “dead words” from my writing (see list below)
I have looked at my transition words and phrases to ensure that they are effective
My quote integrations grammatically flow with my evidence (avoiding hanging
quotes)
I have included words/phrases from my thesis in the body of my essay (or synonyms)
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I have utilized a grammar checker to catch errors


I have read my writing aloud to check for clarity

List of dead words:

● “I”
● YOU
● WE
● LIKE
● THING
● STUFF
● KIND OF
● SORT OF
● GOOD
● BAD
● HAPPY
● SAD
● MAD
● THIS QUOTE SHOWS (INSTEAD: EXPRESSES, ILLUMINATES, DEMONSTRATES,
DETAILS, EXPLAINS)
● “MANY WAYS”
● “SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS”
● “TO BE” VERBS: IS, ARE, WERE

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