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5 Emotional Wounds Of Childhood Parents May Fail To Recognize
TIMESOFINDIA.COM | Last updated on - May 11, 2022, 15:00 IST
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Why we need to identify childhood wounds
Children are extremely vulnerable. They don't understand a lot of grown up things, but
when it comes to feeling emotions like sadness, anger, pain and fear, they do so
immensely.
During childhood, one of the closest bonds kids share is with their parents. As they grow
up, more people come into the picture but their moms and dads are the primary
caregivers who really matter to them. Parents go over and beyond to provide their kids
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with all the love and luxury, but often they may say or do things that may leave a child
emotionally wounded.
That said, while being a child makes one susceptible to physical injuries, emotional
wounds are often something that go amiss and parents fail to recognize them in time.
Hence, it is important that we know all about the kinds of emotional wounds children can
face and must identify them in time, so it does not get passed on to their adulthood.
Also read: Teasing Vs bullying: Help your child understand the difference (and red
flags to watch out)
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Rejection
Rejection is a type of wound that comes along with a feeling of non-acceptance and
dismissal. It is one of the deepest emotional wounds that affects people from within. OPEN
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Factors that often give rise to this fear in kids is rejection by family or relatives. It makes one
feel unwanted, worthless and undeserving of love, which is why when they grow up they
may choose to alienate themselves so as to avoid rejection.
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Abandonment
This childhood wound arises out of the fear of loneliness. It takes shape generally between
the ages of 0 to 3 either due to the physical absence of one or both parents or because of
negligence. Therefore, abandonment is a wound that can be triggered accidentally or
intentionally. A person who is affected by this wound may grow up to be dependent on
others, while lacking the ability to trust. Therefore, it is extremely important to heal and
give oneself the time to overcome the negative emotions.
Also read: Teach your child positive self-talk: Here’s how
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Humiliation
Humiliation is a childhood wound in which kids have grappled with constant
embarrassment and criticism. Parents manage to instill a fear of failure in children telling
them that they are either bad or good for nothing. Being continuously mocked and
nagged for every action they take often takes a toll on their self-esteem and confidence.
This fear often follows the child to adulthood and can lead to negative personalities. Either
a child could grow up to become dependent on people's validation or could make them a
bully who likes to humiliate others for self-satisfaction.
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Betrayal
This type of wound fosters in children when their parents never keep their promises. Kids
with this emotion would have trouble trusting people, often leading to negative feelings.
As they grow up, they may become extremely controlling, wanting everything to work
according to their plan.
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Injustice
A rigid upbringing is what causes the fear of injustice in kids. Parents who are cold and
authoritative may often burden their children with extreme demands and little room for
mistakes, leaving the child with feelings of ineffectiveness and uselessness.
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Overcoming childhood wounds and healing
It is not easy to overcome childhood wounds. Most people even forget the things that
happened to them during childhood, even though it unknowingly impacts them.
That said, first and foremost it is important to be aware of one's condition, to recognize the
wounds, to acknowledge the trauma for what it is.
Next step involves reclaiming control and not letting the things in the past affect one's
present life.
Seeking support may help tremendously.
Most importantly, accepting the wounds from the past and helping yourself let it go can
also bring about a positive change in your life.
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ETIMES / LIFE & STYLE / PARENTING / TODDLER YEAR AND BEYOND / 5 EMOTIONAL WOUNDS OF CHILDHOOD
PARENTS MAY FAIL TO RECOGNIZE
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Things You Need To Do When Your Toddler Hits
TIMESOFINDIA.COM | Last updated on - May 10, 2022, 19:00 IST
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A child should always be distracted from unhealthy activities
One of the few headaches that parents face during the early years of growth is when a
child starts hitting unintentionally. Hitting others is very commonly seen in toddlers. While
on one hand we can say through hitting the child expresses its aggression, on the other
hand it is seen that when this becomes a habit, a child deliberately uses it as a means to
fulfill a demand.
Most kids use hitting as a means of communication. Since a child's vocabulary is not fully
developed, they use several ways to express their emotions and hitting is one of them, OPEN
experts say. They find this mode of communication of emotions easy to put into practice. APP
In many other cases, it can simply be that the child is imitating someone else. Be it a TV
character or someone in the household, kids imitate gestures very easily. If your child has
recently started hitting others, do take a look around the things it is exposed to.
Whatever the reason is, a child should always be distracted from unhealthy activities.
It is very essential for parents to take care of the child when he or she starts hitting others.
Instead of retaliating in an aggressive manner, the child should be handled calmly during
this time.
Read: Subtle signs of Diabetes in kids parents are likely to miss
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Restrain them physically and make yourself or the other person safe
Whenever your child starts hitting, make sure to restrain them physically. Grab their hands
gently and keep them folded till the aggression comes down. If you can, bring them closer
to you and give them a warm hug till they calm down.
During this, make sure you or the other person is safe.
After calming down the child physically, calm down their minds. Talk to them slowly about
the hitting and tell them not to hit anyone. Slowly explain to them what harm hitting does
to people and why we should always love people and never hit them.
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Keep an eye on your child and prevent hitting before it begins
Parents know what triggers the hitting action in their child. While few kids start hitting
when they see a new person in their home, many others hit their parents when they see
them doing something else and not paying them enough attention.
In order to bring the hitting habit into control, you need to keep an eye on the child and
prevent the hitting before it begins. In that way, the child may understand that this is a
wrong thing to do. This can also break the developing habit and distract the child.
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Show love and set limits
Take your child to a calm place and talk to him or her. Tell your child how much you love
him or her, but that does not mean he or she can hit you. Make them feel comfortable and
explain to them that everyone loves a child but the child needs to keep the aggressive
behaviour in control.
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What you should not do
Do not yell at your child. If your child has an aggressive temperament, shouting or yelling
will only worsen the condition.
Do not hit the child. As said before, children imitate gestures. If you hit the child because it
hit someone else, it may start a chain reaction. The child may register this chain sequence
in its mind.
Be normal. Do not get embarrassed when your child hits someone in public. Instead be OPEN APP
normal and handle the situation in a calm way.
Do not blame yourself. A child makes several mistakes during the growing and learning
years. Parenting is mostly about correcting the mistakes and helping the child grow up to
be a gentle person.
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