It started with imagery. Visuals that popped into my mind and piqued my curiosity.

Stars drawn around scars. A cardigan that still bears the scent of loss twenty years later.
Battleships sinking into the ocean, down, down, down. The tree swing in the woods of
my childhood. Hushed tones of “let’s run away” and never doing it. The sun-drenched
month of August sipped away like a bottle of wine. A mirrored disco ball hovering above
a dance floor. A whiskey bottle beckoning. Hands held through plastic. A single thread
that, for better or for worse, ties you to your fate.

Pretty soon these images in my head grew faces or names and became characters. I found

folklore
myself not only writing my own stories, but also writing about or from the perspective of
people I’ve never met, people I’ve known, or those I wish I hadn’t. An exiled man
walking the bluffs of a land that isn’t his own, wondering how it all went so terribly,
terribly wrong. An embittered tormentor showing up at the funeral of his fallen object of
obsession. A seventeen-year-old standing on a porch, learning to apologize. Lovestruck
kids wandering up and down the evergreen High Line. My grandfather, Dean,
landing at Guadalcanal in 1942. A misfit widow getting gleeful revenge on the town
that cast her out. Taylor Alison Swift

A tale that becomes folklore is passed down and whispered around. Sometimes even sung
about. The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and
fiction become almost indiscernible. Speculation, over time, becomes fact: myths, ghost
stories, and fables.

Fairytales and parables. Gossip and legend. Someone’s secrets are written in the sky for
all to behold.

In isolation, my imagination has run wild and this album is the result, a collection of
songs and stories that flowed like a stream of consciousness. Picking up a pen was my
way of escaping into fantasy, history, and memory. I’ve told these stories to the best of
my ability with all the love, wonder, and whimsy they deserve.

Now it’s up to you to pass them down.

 016. Hoax acknowledgments
My only one It started with imagery. Visuals that popped into my mind and piqued my curiosity.
My smoking gun Stars drawn around scars. A cardigan that still bears the scent of loss twenty years later.
My eclipsed sun Battleships sinking into the ocean, down, down, down. The tree swing in the woods of
This has broken me down my childhood. Hushed tones of “let’s run away” and never doing it. The sun-drenched
My twisted knife month of August sipped away like a bottle of wine. A mirrored disco ball hovering above
My sleepless night a dance floor. A whiskey bottle beckoning. Hands held through plastic. A single thread
My win-less fight that, for better or for worse, ties you to your fate.
this has frozen my ground
Stood on the cliffside Screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax Pretty soon these images in my head grew faces or names and became characters. I found
I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world myself not only writing my own stories, but also writing about or from the perspective of
would do people I’ve never met, people I’ve known, or those I wish I hadn’t. An exiled man
My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire walking the bluffs of a land that isn’t his own, wondering how it all went so terribly,
Stood on the cliffside Screaming "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax terribly wrong. An embittered tormentor showing up at the funeral of his fallen object of
I believe in obsession. A seventeen-year-old standing on a porch, learning to apologize. Lovestruck
Don't want no other shade of blue kids wandering up and down the evergreen High Line. My grandfather, Dean,
But you No other sadness in the world would do landing at Guadalcanal in 1942. A misfit widow getting gleeful revenge on the town
You know I left a part of me back in New York You knew the hero died, so what's the that cast her out.
movie for?
A tale that becomes folklore is passed down and whispered around. Sometimes even sung
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart
about. The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and
You knew the password, so I let you in the door You knew you won, so what's the point
fiction become almost indiscernible. Speculation, over time, becomes fact: myths, ghost
of keeping score?
stories, and fables.
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart
But what you did was just as dark Darling, this was just as hard As when they pulled
Fairytales and parables. Gossip and legend. Someone’s secrets are written in the sky for
me apart only one My kingdom come undone My broken drum You have beaten my
all to behold.
heart Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would
do In isolation, my imagination has run wild and this album is the result, a collection of
songs and stories that flowed like a stream of consciousness. Picking up a pen was my
way of escaping into fantasy, history, and memory. I’ve told these stories to the best of
my ability with all the love, wonder, and whimsy they deserve.

Now it’s up to you to pass them down.

 016. hoax 001. the 1
My only one, My smoking gun I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit
My eclipsed sun This has broken me down Been saying "yes" instead of "no"
I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though
My twisted knife My sleepless night
I hit the ground running each night I hit the Sunday matinée
My win-less fight, this has frozen my ground
You know the greatest films of all time were never made
Stood on the cliffside Screaming, "Give me a reason" I guess you never know, never know
Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in And if you wanted me, you really should've showed
Don't want no other shade of blue But you And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow
No other sadness in the world would do And it's alright now But we were something, don't you think so?
My best-laid plan Your sleight of hand Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true It would've been you
My barren land I am ash from your fire
In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone
Stood on the cliffside Screaming "Give me a reason" But it would've been fun If you would've been the one
Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in I have this dream you're doing cool shit
Don't want no other shade of blue But you Having adventures on your own
No other sadness in the world would do You meet some woman on the internet and take her home
You know I left a part of me back in New York We never painted by the numbers, baby
But we were making it count
You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for?
You know the greatest loves of all time are over now
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars
I guess you never know, never know
From when they pulled me apart And it's another day waking up alone
You knew the password, so I let you in the door But we were something, don't you think so?
You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars And if my wishes came true It would've been you
From when they pulled me apart In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone
But it would've been fun If you would've been the one
But what you did was just as dark Darling, this was just as hard
I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you
As when they pulled me apart
If one thing had been different Would everything be different today?
My only one My kingdom come undone We were something, don't you think so?
My broken drum You have beaten my heart Rosé flowing with your chosen family
Don't want no other shade of blue But you And it would've been sweet If it could've been me
No other sadness in the world would do In my defense, I have none For digging up the grave another time
But it would've been fun If you would've been the one
 015. peace 002. cardigan
Our coming-of-age has come and gone Vintage tee, brand new phone High heels on cobblestones
Suddenly the summer, it's clear When you are young, they assume you know nothing
I never had the courage of my convictions Sequin smile, black lipstick Sensual politics
As long as danger is near When you are young, they assume you know nothing
And it's just around the corner, darling But I knew you Dancin' in your Levi's
'Cause it lives in me Drunk under a streetlight I, I knew you
No, I could never give you peace Hand under my sweatshirt Baby, kiss it better, right
But I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm And when I felt like I was an old cardigan Under someone's bed
If your cascade ocean wave blues come You put me on and said I was your favorite
All these people think love's for show A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one
But I would die for you in secret When you are young, they assume you know nothing
The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me But I knew you Playin' hide-and-seek
Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? and Givin' me your weekends I, I knew you
Your integrity makes me seem small Your heartbeat on the High Line Once in twenty lifetimes, I
You paint dreamscapes on the wall And when I felt like I was an old cardigan Under someone's bed
I talk shit with my friends You put me on and said I was your favorite
It's like I'm wasting your honor To kiss in cars and downtown bars Was all we needed
And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences You drew stars around my scars But now I'm bleedin'
Sit with you in the trenches 'Cause I knew you Steppin' on the last train
Give you my wild, give you a child Marked me like a bloodstain I, I knew you
Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other Tried to change the ending Peter losin' Wendy
Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother I, I knew you Leavin' like a father Runnin' like water, I
Is it enough? And when you are young, they assume you know nothing
But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss
I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs
But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me The smell of smoke would hang around this long
But I'm a fire, and I'll keep your brittle heart warm 'Cause I knew everything when I was young
If your cascade ocean wave blues come I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasin' shadows in the grocery line
All these people think love's for show I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired
But I would die for you in secret And you'd be standin' in my front porch light
The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me
Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? And you'd come back to me And you'd come back
Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? And when I felt like I was an old cardigan Under someone's bed
Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? You put me on and said I was your favorite
 014. betty 003. the last great american dynasty
Betty, I won't make assumptions About why you switched your homeroom Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train, It was sunny
But I think it's 'cause of me Her saltbox house on the coast Took her mind off St. Louis
Betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name and money
When I passed your house It's like I couldn't breathe And the town said, "How did a middle-class divorcée do it?"
You heard the rumors from Inez You can't believe a word she says The wedding was charming, if a little gauche
Most times, but this time it was true There's only so far new money goes
The worst thing that I ever did Was what I did to you They picked out a home and called it "Holiday House"
But if I just showed up at your party Their parties were tasteful, if a little loud
Would you have me? Would you want me? The doctor had told him to settle down
Would you tell me to go fuck myself Or lead me to the garden? It must have been her fault his heart gave out
In the garden would you trust me If I told you it was just a summer thing? And they said "There goes the last great American dynasty"
I'm only seventeen I don't know anything but I know I miss you "Who knows if she never showed up, what could've been"
Betty, I know where it all went wrong Your favorite song was playing "There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen"
From the far side of the gym I was nowhere to be found "She had a marvelous time ruinin' everything"
I hate the crowds, you know that Plus, I saw you dance with him Rebekah gave up on the Rhode Island set, forever
You heard the rumors from Inez You can't believe a word she says Most times, but this Flew in all her Bitch Pack friends from the city
time it was true The worst thing that I ever did Was what I did to you Filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names
But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet
Would you tell me to go fuck myself Or lead me to the garden? In the garden would you And losin' on card game bets with Dalí
trust me If I told you it was just a summer thing? And they said "There goes the last great American dynasty"
I'm only seventeen I don't know anything but I know I miss you "Who knows if she never showed up, what could've been"
I was walking home on broken cobblestones Just thinking of you when she pulled up "There goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen"
Like a figment of my worst intentions She said "James, get in, let's drive" "She had a marvelous time ruinin' everything"
Those days turned into nights Slept next to her but I dreamt of you all summer long They say she was seen on occasion Pacing the rocks,
Betty, I'm here on your doorstep And I planned it out for weeks now but staring out at the midnight sea And in a feud with her neighbor
It's finally sinking in Betty, right now is the last time She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green 50 years is a long time
I can dream about what happens when you see my face again Holiday House sat quietly on that beach
The only thing I wanna do Is make it up to you Free of women with madness, their men and bad habits
Yeah, I showed up at your party Will you have me? Will you love me? And then it was bought by me Who knows if I never showed up what could've been
Will you kiss me on the porch In front of all your stupid friends? There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen
If you kiss me Will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I had a marvelous time ruinin' everything
I'm only seventeen I don't know anything But I know I miss you A marvelous time ruinin' everything
Standing in your cardigan Kissing in my car again A marvelous time
Stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you I had a marvelous time
 013. epiphany 004. exile
Keep your helmet I can see you standin', honey
Keep your life, son With his arms around your body
Just a flesh wound Laughin' but the joke's not funny at all
And it took you five whole minutes
Here's your rifle
To pack us up and leave me with it
Crawling up the beaches now Holdin' all this love out here in the hall
Sir, I think he's bleedin' out I think I've seen this film before
And some things you just can't speak about And I didn't like the ending
With you, I serve With you, I fall down Down You're not my homeland anymore
Watch you breathin' Watch you breathin' out Out So what am I defendin' now?
Something med school Did not cover You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out
I think I've seen this film before
Someone's daughter Someone's mother
I can see you starin', honey
Holds your hand through plastic now Like he's just your understudy
Doc, I think she's crashin' out Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me
And some things you just can't speak about Second, third, and hundredth chances
Only twenty minutes to sleep Balancin' on breaking branches
But you dream of some epiphany Those eyes add insult to injury
I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending
Just one single glimpse of relief
I'm not your problem anymore So who am I offending now?
To make some sense of what you've seen
You were my crown Now I'm in exile seein' you out
With you, I serve With you, I fall down I think I've seen this film before So I'm leavin' out the side door
Down (down) Watch you breathin' So step right out There is no amount
Watch you breathin' out Out Of cryin' I can do for you All this time
With you, I serve With you, I fall down (down) We always walked a very thin line
Watch you breathin' You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out)
You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time
Watch you breathin' out (out)
I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind)
Out Only twenty minutes to sleep I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around)
But you dream of some epiphany 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) So many signs
Just one single glimpse of relief So many signs (you didn't even see the signs) I think I've seen this film before
To make some sense of what you've seen And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore
So what am I defending now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out
I think I've seen this film before So I'm leaving out the side door
 012. mad woman 0o5. my tears ricochet
What did you think I'd say to that? We gather here, we line up Weepin' in a sunlit room, and
Does a scorpion sting when fighting back? If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too
They strike to kill and you know I will Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe
What do you sing on your drive home? All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you,
Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day
Does she smile? Or does she mouth, "Fuck you forever"?
I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
Every time you call me crazy I get more crazy
What about that? And when you say I seem angry And you're the hero flying around, saving face
I get more angry And there's nothin' like a mad woman And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?
What a shame she went mad No one likes a mad woman Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet
You made her like that And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean
And you find something to wrap your noose around Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring
And there's nothin' like a mad woman You know I didn't want to have to haunt you
Now I breathe flames each time I talk
But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels
My cannons all firin' at your yacht
They say, "Move on", but you know, I won't that I gave you As you bury me
And women like hunting witches, too I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
Doing your dirtiest work for you 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave
It's obvious that wanting me dead And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?
Has really brought you two together Cursing my name, wishing I stayed
Every time you call me crazy I get more crazy
Look at how my tears ricochet
What about that? And when you say I seem angry
And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home
I get more angry And there's nothin' like a mad woman
What a shame she went mad No one likes a mad woman And you can aim for my heart, go for blood
You made her like that And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out But you would still miss me in your bones
And you find something to wrap your noose around And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky)
And there's nothin' like a mad woman And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)
I'm takin' my time 'Cause you took everything from me I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
Watchin' you climb Over people like me
And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves
The master of spin Has a couple side flings
Good wives always know She should be mad You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same
Should be scathing like me But no one likes a mad woman Cursing my name, wishing I stayed You turned into your worst fears
What a shame she went mad, You made her like that And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years
And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet
 011. invisible string 006. mirrorball
Green was the color of the grass Where I used to read at Centennial Park I want you to know, I'm a mirrorball
I used to think I would meet somebody there I'll show you every version of yourself tonight
Teal was the color of your shirt When you were sixteen at the yogurt shop I'll get you out on the floor Shimmering beautiful
You used to work at to make a little money And when I break it's in a million pieces, Hush
Time, curious time Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs When no one is around, my dear
Were there clues I didn't see? You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes
And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you
Invisible string Tying you to me? Ooh Hush I know they said the end is near
Bad was the blood of the song in the cab On your first trip to LA But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes
You ate at my favorite spot for dinner Spinning in my highest heels, love shining just for you
Bold was the waitress on our three year trip Getting lunch down by the lakes I want you to know I'm a mirrorball
She said I looked like an American singer I can change everything about me to fit in
Time, mystical time Cuttin' me open, then healin' me fine You are not like the regulars The masquerade revelers
Were there clues I didn't see? Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten Hush
And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some When no one is around, my dear
Invisible string Tying you to me? Ooh A string that pulled me You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you
Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Hush I know they said the end is near
Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes
One single thread of gold tied me to you Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you
Cold was the steel of my axe to grind And they called off the circus Burned the disco down
For the boys who broke my heart When they sent home the horses And the rodeo clowns
Now I send their babies presents I'm still on that tightrope I'm still trying everything
Gold was the color of the leaves to get you laughing at me I'm still a believer
When I showed you around Centennial Park but I don't know why I've never been a natural
Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven All I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze
Time, wondrous time Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies I'm still trying everything To keep you looking at me
And it's cool, baby, with me And isn't it just so pretty to think Because I'm a mirrorball I'm a mirrorball
All along there was some Invisible string I'll show you every version of yourself Tonight
Tying you to me? Ooh Hee Ooh
 010. illicit affairs 007. seven
Make sure nobody sees you leave Please picture me In the trees
Hood over your head, keep your eyes down I hit my peak at seven feet In the swing
Tell your friends you're out for a run Over the creek I was too scared to jump in
You'll be flushed when you return But I, I was high in the sky With Pennsylvania under me
Take the road less traveled by Are there still beautiful things?
Tell yourself you can always stop Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other
What started in beautiful rooms Ends with meetings in parking lots And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you
And that's the thing about illicit affairs Your braids like a pattern Love you to the moon and to Saturn
And clandestine meetings and longing stares Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long
It's born from just one single glance And I've been meaning to tell you
But it dies, and it dies, and it dies A million little times I think your house is haunted
Leave the perfume on the shelf That you picked out just for him Your dad is always mad and that must be why
So you leave no trace behind Like you don't even exist And I think you should come live with
Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high Me and we can be pirates
A drug that only worked The first few hundred times Then you won't have to cry Or hide in the closet
And that's the thing about illicit affairs And just like a folk song Our love will be passed on
And clandestine meetings and stolen stares Please picture me
They show their truth one single time In the weeds
But they lie, and they lie, and they lie A million little times Before I learned civility
And you wanna scream Don't call me "kid" I used to scream ferociously
Don't call me "baby" Any time I wanted I, I
Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me Sweet tea in the summer
You showed me colors You know I can't see with anyone else Cross my heart, won't tell no other
Don't call me "kid" on't call me "baby" And though I can't recall your face
Look at this idiotic fool that you made me I still got love for you
You taught me a secret language Pack your dolls and a sweater
I can't speak with anyone else We'll move to India forever
And you know damn well Passed down like folk songs
For you, I would ruin myself Our love lasts so long
A million little times
 009. this is me trying 008. august
I've been having a hard time adjusting Salt air And the rust on your door I never needed anything more
I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting Whispers Of "Are you sure?" "Never have I ever before"
I didn't know if you'd care if I came back But I can see us Lost in the memory
I have a lot of regrets about that August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine
Pulled the car off the road to the lookout And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
Could've followed my fears all the way down August sipped away Like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine
And maybe I don't quite know what to say Your back Beneath the sun Wishing I could write my name on it
But I'm here in your doorway Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you
I just wanted you to know That this is me trying But I can see us Lost in the memory
I just wanted you to know That this is me trying August slipped away into a moment in time'Cause it was never mine
They told me all of my cages were mental And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
So I got wasted like all my potential August sipped away Like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine
And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad Back when we were still changing for the better
I have a lot of regrets about that Wanting was enough For me, it was enough
I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call
Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here And say "Meet me behind the mall"
Pourin' out my heart to a stranger So much for summer love, and saying "Us"
But I didn't pour the whiskey 'Cause you weren't mine to lose You weren't mine to lose
I just wanted you to know That this is me trying No But I can see us Lost in the memory
I just wanted you to know That this is me trying August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine
At least I'm trying And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
And it's hard to be at a party August sipped away Like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine, mine
When I feel like an open wound 'Cause you were never mine Never mine
It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you Do you remember? Remember when I pulled up
You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town And said "Get in the car" And then canceled my plans
And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying Just in case you'd call Back when I was living
(maybe I don't quite know what to say) for the hope of it all For the hope of it all
I just wanted you to know That this is me trying "Meet me behind the mall" Remember when I pulled up
At least I'm trying And said "Get in the car" And then canceled my plans
Just in case you'd call Back when I was living for the hope of it all