Sacramental Guidelines Marriage
Sacramental Guidelines Marriage
for the
of the
Sacrament of Marriage
for the
Table of Contents
DOCTRINAL OVERVIEW 1
HISTORICAL SUMMARY OF THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE ................................................................ 2
THEOLOGY OF THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE, CORRELATION WITH THE CATECHISM OF THE
CATHOLIC CHURCH, AND IMPLICATIONS FOR MARRIAGE PREPARATION ............................................ 4
PASTORAL AND CATECHETICAL PRINCIPLES 8
GENERAL PASTORAL AND CATECHETICAL PRINCIPLES ........................................................................ 8
PRINCIPLES FOR THE PREPARATION AND CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE.............................................. 8
POLICIES 9
NORMS FOR READINESS 13
THE RITE OF MARRIAGE 14
GENERAL LITURGICAL PRINCIPLES ........................................................................................................ 14
LITURGICAL PRINCIPLES FOR CELEBRATING THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE ................................ 14
COMMENTARY ON IMPORTANT ELEMENTS ........................................................................................... 16
SELECTION OF MUSIC ............................................................................................................................... 17
WEDDING MUSIC GUIDELINES: DIOCESE OF FORT WORTH 19
INTRODUCTION ......................................................................................................................................... 19
THE PLACE OF MUSIC IN THE CATHOLIC WEDDING .............................................................................. 19
PREPARATION OF THE WEDDING—LITURGY AND MUSIC .................................................................... 20
MUSIC IN THE WEDDING LITURGY .......................................................................................................... 20
COMMENTS ABOUT MUSIC AND ITS PLACEMENT ................................................................................. 21
LITURGY OF THE WORD............................................................................................................................ 22
LITURGY OF MARRIAGE ........................................................................................................................... 22
LITURGY WITH EUCHARIST (RM, #23 - #37) ............................................................................................. 22
LITURGY OF EUCHARIST .......................................................................................................................... 22
LITURGY WITHOUT EUCHARIST (RM, #43-#51) ....................................................................................... 23
COMMENTS ON THE USE OF POPULAR MUSIC ........................................................................................ 24
CATECHESIS 26
REMOTE CATECHESIS ............................................................................................................................... 26
PROXIMATE CATECHESIS......................................................................................................................... 27
ONGOING CATECHESIS ............................................................................................................................. 29
GUIDELINES FOR THE PREPARATION AND CELEBRATION OF THE
SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE
I. Doctrinal Overview
An Invitation to Marriage
The Marriage Guidelines for the Dioceses of Texas, issued by the Texas Catholic Conference,
state: “marriage is first and foremost, a gift of God. Instituted by God at creation, marriage was
elevated by Christ to the dignity of a sacrament, giving special graces to the married couple to
enable them to live their God-given vocation. In order to help the couple live an intimate
partnership of conjugal life and love, those in pastoral care need to provide a loving, practical
preparation for marriage that involves true evangelization and formation for responsible
parenting.”
Therefore, the Church is committed to doing everything possible for engaged couples so that
they may fulfill their vocation in Christian joy and establish a family, a church of the home,
where they can communicate respect for life and dignity of every human being from the first
moment of conception until death. Marriage can be a time when they can experience the
relentless dedication and self-emptying necessary to be husband and father, wife and mother, so
that they can truly reflect Christ’s love for His Church and the Church’s love for Christ.
The book of Isaiah (42:3)reminds us neither to “break the crushed reed nor quench the wavering
flame.” We can easily make assumptions about what young adults “ought to know” about being
Catholic and become frustrated when we see their level of ignorance or lack of practice of faith.
But we can choose to see the situation as a special opportunity for evangelization. When couples
are treated with respect, it usually turns out that they are pleased that a priest, deacon, pastoral
administrator or sponsor couple is willing to spend time with them and to give them an
opportunity to ask questions about the Catholic faith. This style of ministry can gently lead them
in a direction where they might, perhaps for the first time, see that practicing the faith - now as
adults - might help them be even more successful in their desire to live Christian marriage.
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A. HISTORICAL SUMMARY OF THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE
c. Parents arranged marriages of their children, often at young age and sometimes for
love. The partners were often from within family groups.
d. Marriage was a civil contract not sanctioned by religious rite and celebrated within
the home.
f. Marriage was dissoluble, but only men could ask for divorce.
b. Paul developed the theology of marriage, likening it to the union of Christ and his
Church. Men and women were to be mutually respectful and loving.
c. Despite New Testament teaching, marriage was seen as a civil contract experienced
in the Lord and religious rites were not used.
b. Marriage was based on the consent of bride’s father or couple’s mutual consent.
c. In the 8th century, the Church began legislating certain aspects of marriage,
protecting the freedom of marriage partners, but these laws did not supersede civil
laws.
d. Civil divorce laws applied to Christians and non-Christians. Church did not always
forbid divorce and remarriage for Christians.
a. The Church began to legislate directly and to institute rituals to insure that there
would be a public commitment on the part of the couple. The Pauline principle of
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bride and groom as a sign of the relationship between Christ and his Church was
developed.
a. By the13th century Pope Alexander III proclaimed the authority of the Church to
grant dispensations and judge questions of validity. Mutual consent in marriage
became the criterion for validity. Consummation following consent made marriage
indissoluble.
b. Marriage was discussed in legalistic terms. Church lawyers moved away from biblical
understanding of marriage. Consent is redefined as “contract.”
d. Alexander of Hales said all marriages are signs of God’s love. Baptism makes
Christian marriage a means of union with God. Hales’ teaching was adopted
throughout the Church.
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a. Questions regarding Church/State authority over marriage persisted, especially as the
governments of different countries insisted sometimes on total control of marriage
laws to the exclusion of any religious control. As a result, two ceremonies sometimes
were required, civil and religious. The Church left the marriage of non-Catholics and
unbaptized persons totally under civil control.
b. Theologians saw contract and sacrament as one reality and tolerated the double
marriage rite where it was required.
b. Vatican II emphasized the richness of the marriage relationship and sought a balance
between procreation and love.
c. The new marriage rite (1969) is flexible in ritual details, emphasizing the couple as
ministers of the sacrament.
d. New regulations for mixed marriages allow a couple to be married before the minister
of either faith and in either Church. The non-Catholic need not promise to raise the
children as Catholics.
e. Marriage counseling and enrichment now play a key role. There is more extensive
pre-marriage preparation. Marriage and family support groups are encouraged and
growing.
Adapted from The Changing Sacraments. Reprinted by permission of St. Anthony Messenger Press, 1615 Republic Street,
Cincinnati, Ohio 45210. All rights reserved
CCC 372: “Man and woman were made ‘for each other’ - not that God left them
half-made and incomplete: he created them to be a communion of persons, in
which each can be ‘helpmate’ to the other, for they are equal as persons (‘bone of
my bones. . .’) and complementary as masculine and feminine. In marriage God
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unites them in such a way that, by forming ‘one flesh’,[Gen 2:24 .] they can
transmit human life: ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.’[Gen 1:28 .] By
transmitting human life to their descendants, man and woman as spouses and
parents co-operate in a unique way in the Creator’s work.[Cf. Gaudium et
spes(GS) 50 # 1.]”
Implications:
What does it mean to be a “communion of persons”? How does that translate into
practice? To be in communion is to be about the work of mission. Mission entails
caring for the other, moving beyond the personal boundaries of oneself to see to
the needs of the other. A culture of care, created before a marriage, cemented at
the banns, and nurtured through the whole of life, is precisely what a “communion
of persons” means. It means hard work, dedication, and loyalty. It means building
a future. It gives shape to a couple’s response, through the witness of their lives
together, to the consequences of the fall. Sin and death are never victorious when
a couple acts as a communion of persons. Faithful spouses return to paradise.
2. Marriage is a vocation.
• Marriage is a calling from God to love and serve each other. Striving for unity is a
daily effort to love one’s spouse as Jesus loves us, to share the strength that this
striving gives to each.
CCC 1603: “’The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the
married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its
own proper laws.... God himself is the author of marriage.’[GS 48 # 1.] The
vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they
came from the hand of the Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution
despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in
different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes. These differences
should not cause us to forget its common and permanent characteristics. Although
the dignity of this institution is not transparent everywhere with the same
clarity,[Cf. GS 47 # 2.] some sense of the greatness of the matrimonial union
exists in all cultures. ‘The well-being of the individual person and of both human
and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and
family life.’[GS 47 # 1.]”
Implications:
The Catechism reiterates, “the vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of
man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator” (CCC, no. 1603).
Two things about this are immediately striking. First, divine authorship of
marriage is paramount. Couples need assurance that God is working in the midst
of their married life and that they themselves are cooperating in the grace
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bestowed upon them. Second, the vocation to married life is of equal value to men
and women. Equality is part of the divine plan for human salvation and in fact
reflects back upon God’s perfect love for humanity. Neither sex has sole
possession of the ability to reflect these perfections. Their fundamental equality
stems from the recognition that each is “hard-wired” in such a way as to offer
unique gifts to the other person, so difference is in the mix. The importance of
equality cannot be downplayed. Only out of this kind of radical parity can
marriage be understood.
CCC 1601: “’The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish
between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered
toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring;
this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the
dignity of a sacrament.’[Codex Iuris Canonici(CIC), can. 1055 # 1; cf. GS 48 #
1.]”
CCC 1641: “’By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian
spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God.’[Lumen gentium(LG)
11 # 2.] This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect
the couple’s love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they
‘help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and
educating their children.’[LG 11 # 2; cf. LG 41.]”
CCC 1642: “Christ is the source of this grace. ‘Just as of old God encountered
his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the
Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of
Matrimony.’[GS 48 # 2.] Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take
up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive
one another, to bear one another’s burdens, to ‘be subject to one another out of
reverence for Christ,’[Eph 5:21 ; cf. Gal 6:2 .] and to love one another with
supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. In the joys of their love and family life he
gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb:
How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the Church,
strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels,
and ratified by the Father? . . . How wonderful the bond between two
believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the
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same service! They are both children of one Father and servants of the
same Master, undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh. Where
the flesh is one, one also is the spirit.[Tertullian, Ad uxorem. 2, 8, 6-7: PL
1, 1412-1413; cf. FC 13.]”
Implications:
The classical Catholic definition of sacrament, “outward sign of inward grace,”
which took a thousand years to become established,1 can now be more fully
explicated. A sacrament is a prophetic symbol in which the Church, the body of
Christ in the world, reveals and celebrates in representation the presence and
action of God, which is grace itself.
Every couple that enters marriage says, in one way or another, “I love you.”
Couples entering a Christian, covenantal, sacramental marriages say that too, and
more. They say, “I love you as Christ loves us, steadfastly and faithfully.” A
sacramental marriage is more than a legal bond; it is also a religious covenant. It
is more than a legal right; it is also grace. The presence of grace in its most
ancient Christian sense, namely the presence of the gracious God, is not
something extrinsic to sacramental marriage. It is something intrinsic to such a
marriage, something without which it would not be sacramental marriage at all. In
a truly sacramental marriage—the marriage between two baptized Christians—the
love of God and Christ provides the eschatological model of the love to which the
spouses are to aspire. This is part of what the Catholic Church means when it
teaches that marriage is graced and is, therefore, sacrament.
The preceding Implication sections excerpted from “Life Together: A Catechesis of Marriage as Sacrament” by Michael Lawler
in The Living Light (Spring 2000, Vol. 36, No. 3) 2000 United States Catholic Conference, Inc., Washington, D.C.. Reprinted
with permission. All rights reserved.
Excerpts from the English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for the United States of America Copyright ©
1994, United States Catholic Conference, Inc. – Libreria Editrice Vaticana. Used with permission.
Excerpts from the English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church: Modifications from the Editio Typica Copyright
© 1997, United States Catholic Conference, Inc. – Libreria Editrice Vaticana. Used with permission.
________________
1
Cf. Michael G. Lawler, Symbol and Sacrament: A Contemporary Sacramental Theology (Omaha, Neb.:
Creighton University, 1995), 29-34.
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II. Pastoral and Catechetical Principles
1. Raises as few obstacles as possible to the reception of the sacrament. It seeks to balance
the value of adequate preparation and proper disposition, with the recognition of
sacraments as free gifts from God.
2. Includes the engaged couple, their families, and the larger parish community.
1. Active participation in the Sunday Eucharist is the source and summit of Catholic life and
is to be encouraged.
2. To receive the sacrament of Marriage fruitfully, the spouses are strongly advised to
receive the sacraments of Penance and Holy Eucharist. [CIC, can. 1065 # 2]
3. Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation should receive it
before being admitted to marriage, if it can be done without grave inconvenience. [CIC,
can. 1065 # 1]
5. Since it could weaken the sacramental sign of communion if only one partner receives,
when Catholics marry non-Catholics, the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage
outside of Mass should be encouraged in order to strengthen this sacrament of unity.
6. Effective catechesis requires sensitivity to the local multi-cultural and/or diverse family
situations.
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III. Policies
The following policy statements are drawn from the Marriage Guidelines for the
Dioceses of Texas, published by the Texas Catholic Conference. For commentary on
these policy statements, refer to this TCC publication.
1. Initial Interview – To assure adequate time for marriage preparation, couples planning
to marry need to contact the parish 9 to 12 months prior to the provisional date for the
wedding. Each engaged couple is to have an initial interview with the pastor, pastoral
administrator or clergy representative as soon as feasible at or after the first contact.
The interview is for the purpose of:
The initial interview is to take place at least four months prior to the provisional date
of the wedding.
Where canonical permission has been obtained for the marriage to take place in
another parish, that pastor, pastoral administrator or clergy representative will
conduct the initial interview. Where a visiting minister from outside the diocese is
coming to officiate, the pastor, pastoral administrator or clergy representative is
responsible for the initial interview. After the initial interview, communication
between ministers is needed for a clear understanding on where the prenuptial forms
will be completed and who will do further preparation with the engaged couple.
4. Marriages of Young People—If, at the time of the wedding, either of the parties will
be under 19 years of age, then:
a. At least six months should elapse after the completion of the Primary Marriage
Preparation.
b. Parental consultation and completion of the “Canonical Free State” form must
take place.
5. Pregnancy—If the couple had not planned to marry, pregnancy, of itself, is not
considered sufficient reason to enter marriage or shorten the marriage preparation
process.
a. The Catholic party reaffirms his/her faith in Jesus Christ and, with God’s help,
intends to continue living that faith in the Catholic Church.
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b. The Catholic party promises to do all in his/her power to share the faith with the
children by having them baptized and reared as Catholics.
c. The Catholic party must respect the faith position of his/her spouse.
d. The non-Catholic party must be informed of the reaffirmation and promises of the
Catholic party.
e. The priest, deacon or pastoral administrator must be morally certain that the
reaffirmation and promises have been sincerely made.
8. Validation or Sanatio – Persons who married outside the Catholic Church and wish to
validate their union will participate in the normal assessment and preparation process,
including, for example, Today…Tomorrow…Forever, Marriage Encounter, Jesús Te
Invita Al Sacramento Del Matrimonio, Jornada Familiar, REFOCCUS with a sponsor
couple/group or other parish based enrichment programs.
Couples who marry outside the Church must wait at least six months before having
the marriage validated.
Sanatio (Sanatio In Radice, the “healing of the marriage in its root”) cases involve the
validation of a marriage attempted without sacramental form when the non-Catholic
party refuses to go through another ceremony before a priest or deacon and two
witnesses, or the couple truly believe they made a commitment at the time of the civil
marriage. It is also referred to as a retroactive validation. Contact the Tribunal for
more information and the procedure.
a. Setting even a tentative date for marriage in the Catholic Church before the priest,
deacon or pastoral administrator has received confirmation that the final decree of
invalidity has been issued.
c. Offering the parties assurances that the case will be concluded within a specific
period of time.
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d. Arranging for a subsequent marriage to take place without allowing sufficient
time for the healing process following the separation and divorce.
10. Places where marriage may be celebrated – Wedding ceremonies in the diocese are to
be celebrated in a sacred place, normally a Catholic church. Weddings may also take
place in college chapels. A Catholic ceremony may also take place for good reasons
in a non-Catholic church, but special permission must be sought. Permission will not
be given for weddings in homes, gardens or similar places.
11. Planning for the ceremony should give consideration to ethnic customs that are in
harmony with the spirit of the liturgy. A meeting with the parish Liturgy Director and
Music Director should take place soon after the Initial Interview so the couple knows
the options available in liturgy and music.
12. Appeal—Since the right to marry derives from natural law, a couple has the right to
appeal a decision which delays or prevents their marriage. This appeal is sent to the
Bishop’s office.
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IV. Norms for Readiness
1. The couple is of age and displays maturity appropriate to assuming the rights and
responsibilities of marriage.
2. Through prayer and discernment they each believe they are called to the vocation of
marriage and that this is the right person with whom to enter into an exclusive
relationship for life.
5. The priest, deacon, pastoral administrator or their representative has arrived at a prudent
assessment that the couple is free to marry according to the terms of both civil and canon
law.
6. If the priest, deacon or pastoral administrator, however, has valid reasons to believe that
the couple is not capable of living the necessary commitments of Christian marriage (e.g.,
a history of violent behavior or chronic addiction), he must take the responsibility of
halting the process at this point and do his best to recommend an appropriate course of
therapy for the couple.
7. A positive assessment on the part of the priest, deacon or pastoral administrator does not
exclude the possibility of doubts about the wisdom of the couple’s desire to marry in the
Church. Since no one can know for certain how the couple will make use of the graces
that God is surely willing to give them, hesitancy is resolved, usually correctly, in favor
of giving the couple - and God’s grace - the benefit of the doubt.
8. Any concerns about the couple’s readiness to marry are to be noted on the prenuptial
forms.
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V. The Rite Of Marriage
a. All the sacraments engage the whole community of faith, even though particular
sacraments may be celebrated individually.
b. The symbols --- words, gestures, objects, movements, etc. --- of the sacraments
should always be lavish.
3. The way sacraments are celebrated should offer welcome and hospitality to all, including
those who are not members of the faith community.
1. Introduction
a. Communal Participation
The celebration of this sacrament is not one for the wedding party alone: all present
are to be active witnesses and participants. Hence, the preparation of a simple
worship aid is urged to enable all to take part as fully as possible.
b. Time of Celebration
The sacrament may be celebrated at any time of the year; however, certain holy days
and seasons (e.g. Christmas, Epiphany, Holy Thursday through Easter, Corpus
Christi...) displace the wedding Mass texts. Even on those days or during those
seasons, one reading is to be taken from those designated for weddings, and the
nuptial blessing given. Couples may be encouraged to celebrate this sacrament at the
Sunday Eucharist before the entire community.
“When a marriage is celebrated during Advent or Lent or other days of penance, the
parish priest should advise the couple to take into consideration the special nature of
these times.” (Rite of Marriage(RM), Introduction, par. 11) This admonition would
affect the decoration of the worship space in particular.
c. Ministers Needed
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The primary ministers are the couple. The priest or deacon is the presider and official
witness for the Church. Other ministers normally needed in the celebration of a
sacrament: lectors, special ministers of the Eucharist, altar servers, ministers of
hospitality, should be prepared for their proper roles in this sacrament. The use of
members of the wedding party and members of the two families in these roles where
possible is to be encouraged. After them, members of the parish community should be
considered. Above all, the use of the priest or deacon for all readings is to be avoided.
2. Physical Preparation
The ceremony will always take place in a church or college chapel. When Marriage is
celebrated within Mass, everything normally needed for the celebration of Mass should
be prepared. Whatever may be called for in the use of a devotional, e.g., holy water,
lasso, arras, unity candle, etc. should also be prepared.
3. Outline Of Rite
“Within the Rite of the Sacrament of Marriage, the arrangement of its parts may be varied
if it seems more suitable; even the consent may be omitted as long as the priest asks and
receives the consent of the contracting parties.” (RM Intro., par 14) Since it could weaken
the sacramental sign to continue with the celebration of Eucharist where at communion
only one may receive, in cases of Catholics marrying non-Catholics, the celebration of
the Sacrament of Marriage outside of Mass should be encouraged in order to strengthen
this sacrament of unity.
1) Entrance Rites
• Procession – instrumental, followed by Gathering Hymn sung by all or
procession with communal hymn or Procession – instrumental
• Greeting and Welcome, Opening Prayer (Penitential Rite and Glory to God
omitted)
3) Liturgy of Marriage
• Exchange of Vows
• Blessing and exchange of rings
• Devotional (optional—see “Cultural Adaptations’ below)
• General Intercessions
5) Dismissal Rites
• Blessing
• Dismissal (which may include presentation of the couple to the community)
• Recessional as usual.
1) Entrance Rites
• Procession – instrumental, followed by Gathering Hymn sung by all or
Procession with communal hymn or Procession – instrumental
• Greeting and Welcome, Opening Prayer (Penitential Rite and Glory to God
omitted)
3) Liturgy of Marriage:
• Exchange of vows
• Blessing and exchange of rings
• Devotiona1 (optional—see “Cultural Adaptations” below)
• Sign of Peace (pastoral practice, not required by Rite)
• General Intercessions
• Nuptial Blessing
• Lord’s Prayer
• Solemn Blessing
• Devotional (optional)
• Presentation of the Couple (optional)
• Recessional
Various approved marriage preparation texts offer options for different parts of the Rite that
should be explained to the couple.
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Parish traditions in line with liturgical guidelines may vary throughout the Diocese and
should be respected.
Communion under both species is to be offered at all Eucharistic celebrations. The decision
to receive from the cup should be the option of the communicant, not of the presider.
1. Symbols—The couple is itself the principal symbol, sealed by the spoken vows; thus care
should be taken that the vows are audible to the community. The ring(s) and other
images, e.g. lazo, arras, unity candle, etc., serve to highlight one or another facet of the
basic symbol.
2. Gesture—More than a hand movement, gesture extends to the total body language of the
ritual. Attention should be paid, for example, to the planning of the wedding procession:
one makes a statement without words in presenting the wedding party. Questions that
might clarify the import of gestures might include “Does the wedding party enter as a
fashion display or as logical procession?”; “Are both sets of parents actively engaged in
the procession, or are they fringe figures, except for the father of the bride?”; “Is the
ordained minister part of the procession?” This question has arisen because of the strong
(and correct) understanding that the couples are the ministers of the Sacrament of
Marriage. However, it is the priest or deacon who presides and therefore is properly part
of the procession, coming at the end.
4. Cultural Adaptations—After the exchange of rings, what was called above a devotional
may be inserted. The crowning or veiling already mentioned, the lazo, the gift of gold
coins, the unity candle are some possibilities. The choice should be meaningful to the
couple and harmonize with the wedding liturgy’s true and authentic spirit, and not simply
be a “filler” for the ceremony. The ritual should thus reflect both language and culture of
the couple.
D. SELECTION OF MUSIC
As in all the Rites, music is a servant-art whose purpose is to glorify God and transform
His people. The topic of music for weddings is a particularly sensitive one. Therefore, it
is recommended that parishes adhere to the WEDDING MUSIC GUIDELINES, Diocese
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of Fort Worth, which are provided by the Office of Worship and which are included here
for parish use.
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VI. Wedding Music Guidelines: Diocese Of Fort Worth
A. INTRODUCTION
In our Catholic way of life, new meaning is given to the personal and public dimensions of
marriage. The personal relationship between man and woman becomes sacrament, for each is
called to be the presence of Christ to the other. The public commitment is sacrament in that
this couple is called to be the sign to the Christian community of Christ’s unconditional love
for His people. The couple is the sacrament.
A Christian wedding then is more than a solemn exchange of vows by an engaged couple. It
is an act of worship in which the bride and groom assemble the Church and come together to
celebrate a sacrament, to offer thanks and praise together with their family and friends, and to
ask God’s blessing on their life together as husband and wife.
Music, when used in the liturgical rites of the Church, is a servant-art. It serves the Word of
God and the sacramental action. Its purpose is to glorify God and to transform God’s people.
Music should assist the assembled believers to express and share, to nourish and strengthen
their interior commitment of faith as that faith is experienced in life. It should heighten the
texts so that their meaning is uncovered more fully and more effectively. Music can impart a
quality of joy and enthusiasm and a sense of unity to the congregation. Above all, it sets the
appropriate tone for a particular celebration.
Is the music technically, aesthetically and expressively good? This is a judgment not
only of the composition, but about its performance considering the available musicians
and resources. Unfortunately we often confuse judgment on the value of music with
judgment on the style of music, falsely equating all musical value with one particular
musical style. Good music of whatever style (chant, polyphony, choral hymns,
responsorial singing, contemporary compositions, folk idiom) has been recognized and
fully admitted by the Church as an aid to liturgical worship.
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What kind of music and/or musical text is called for at a given place in the liturgy?
Where is instrumental music or even silence more appropriate than vocal music? What
parts of the liturgy by their nature belong to the assembly? It is important to be familiar
with the documents on the Sacred Liturgy, especially with Music in Catholic Worship
(MCW), published by the Bishops’ Committee on the Liturgy (National Conference of
Catholic Bishops).
Does the music in this celebration enable these people as congregation to express their
faith more authentically in this place, in this age, in this culture? This is a very important
part of judging the music. One must consider the cultural background of the couple, the
stage in their journey of faith. Inasmuch as it is possible, it is necessary to serve the
couple and their special event.
Within the first three months of the couple’s preparation for marriage, and after the initial
meeting with the priest, deacon or pastoral administrator the couple shall be given a session
on the preparation of the Liturgy and Music for the Wedding. The liturgist, the staff
musician, the priest, deacon or pastoral administrator, may give this session. Some processes
for this type of preparation can be found in Pastoral Music, published by National
Association of Pastoral Musicians, Oct-Nov. 1978, Vol. 3, #1, pp. 6-8. Plans for the music
and the Liturgy could include a printed program prepared by the staff or the couple.
A musician is an integral minister in the celebration of the sacrament and if available, should
not be replaced by recorded music.
The minister, the liturgist, or the parish musician will assist the couple in the selection of
appropriate music for their wedding. The emphasis should be on liturgical music, that is,
music whose texts are drawn from biblical sources and whose context is the Sacrament of
Marriage or the Sacrament of the Eucharist.
Care must be taken that a music selection does not impede the natural flow of the liturgy.
Selection of music focusing on the Blessed Virgin Mary or the saints should be made only in
the context of the couple’s personal faith. It may be used before the liturgical celebration or
at the appropriate devotional moment.
A preoccupation with music for soloists should not exclude the congregation from singing
those parts that are rightfully theirs. A parish cantor should function as song leader to lead
the congregation so that the assembled people will feel comfortable and secure in this
participation.
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Instrumental music (organ, guitar, brass, strings or woodwinds) adds much to the joy of the
occasion, but should be integrated into the overall plan of music, and performed competently
and artistically.
E. COMMENTS ABOUT MUSIC AND ITS PLACEMENT
1. Preludes
The musician should furnish prelude music. More flexibility is allowed in choosing the
music for this time. Instrumental music is encouraged. Special requests of the couple,
which reflect the principles listed in “Comments on the Use of Popular Music” but are
not appropriate during the Liturgy, may be used here. (See below.)
Good liturgy cannot happen without the preparation of those present. It is appropriate to
have a short rehearsal so that the assembly can participate. This is a moment of
hospitality, especially for mixed-faith communities.
In the Liturgy of the Word the responsorial psalm refrain belongs to the congregation and
should be sung. (Music in Catholic Worship(MCW), #45, #63). In the Liturgy of the
Eucharist the Eucharistic acclamations (Holy, Memorial Acclamation, Great Amen)
ought to be sung by the congregation, and familiar or easily learned musical settings
should be selected. (MCW, #54)
The congregation must be prepared for its part. The ushers should have all seated in time
to begin; guests should be seated close to the front. The music minister should speak
briefly to the assembly of their participation and conduct a short preparatory session for
the guests. Copies of words and music should be made available to all those present.
When preparing printed worship aids, the liturgist or musician must follow proper legal
procedures re copyright permissions and form. (Cf. Copyright Update - Reprint
Permission Policies of Publishers of Liturgical Music and Sacred Scriptures, Appendix I.)
3. Processional
To reflect the unity of the liturgical procession, one piece of music should be used for the
entire procession. This music should set the tone of the celebration (joyful, festive,
solemn, majestic, simple, etc.). It is music that unites the members of the assembly to one
another and focuses their attention on the principal celebrants, the bride and groom.
These types of professionals can be used:
a. Instrumental music
b. Instrumental music followed by a gathering song. All may sing a brief hymn/song
after the wedding party is in its place.
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c. Congregational hymn/song to accompany the procession
This is an integral part of the ritual, regardless of whether the liturgy with Eucharist or the
liturgy without Eucharist is selected.
All readings must be selected from Scripture. There may be as many as three readings. A
Responsorial Psalm properly follows an Old Testament reading. If two readings are selected
and the first is from the New Testament, a Responsorial Psalm may follow. There should
always be a Gospel selection. A sung Gospel Acclamation should precede the Gospel.
1. Responsorial Psalm
The psalm must be in Responsorial form, i.e., the refrain sung or spoken by all. The norm
is to have the psalm sung. If the psalm is spoken, music background can enhance this
prayer form.
2. Gospel Acclamation
The Gospel Acclamation must be sung or it is omitted. When it is sung, its versicle may
be spoken or sung. If the Gospel Acclamation is omitted, the versicle is omitted as well.
G. LITURGY OF MARRIAGE
The Liturgy of Marriage will be considered in each of the two following forms: with
Eucharist and without Eucharist.
Devotional—A meaningful prayer or gesture of cultural tradition (holy water, unity candle,
lazo, arras, breaking of a glass...) may be used. (RM, #15, #16) If a song is used, it should be
brief to avoid disrupting the flow of the liturgy. The couple ought to choose only what has
meaning for them personally; they are not obliged to have anything at this point.
General Intercessions—The couple may compose petitions following the format of the ritual.
I. LITURGY OF EUCHARIST
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Preparation of the Gifts—It is recommended that instrumental music accompany the
presentation and preparation of the gifts. This part of the liturgy is brief and transitional, and
extensive solo singing should be curtailed as an inappropriate delay of the liturgy.
The Lord’s Prayer—The “Our Father” must be recited or sung by ALL. A prayer common to
all Christians, it is a powerful sign of unity when all join in reciting or singing it. When the
Nuptial Blessing is given during the Eucharistic liturgy, it replaces the prayer “Deliver us...”
and the doxology of the Lord’s Prayer. If the Lord’s Prayer is sung, “the traditional text is
retained.... All settings must provide for the participation of the priest and all present.”
(MCW, #67)
Reciting the Lord’s Prayer would encourage all to participate. As most wedding
congregations are of mixed faiths, it would be helpful to have the full text printed in the
program.
Sign of Peace – This should be a brief exchange among the wedding party members and
among the bride and groom and their parents.
Lamb of God—This is to accompany the action of the Breaking of the Bread and may be
recited or sung in a familiar setting by the congregation. It should not extend beyond the
preparation for Communion of the Bread and chalices.
Communion – The Communion song should have a refrain to be sung by all during the
procession. The text should speak to the unity of the assembly using the restrictions that
apply to Sunday Mass. Instrumental music may be used here.
Song of Common Praise—After communion, the entire assembly may sing a song of praise
(or spend a few moments in silent meditation).
Devotion – A devotion such as the unity candle or a visit to the statue of the Blessed Mother
may be inserted here and may be accompanied by music. If a song is used, it should not
delay the flow of the liturgy.
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Blessing and Exchange of Rings
Devotional—A meaningful prayer or gesture of cultural tradition (holy water, unity candle,
lazo, arras, breaking of a glass...) may be used. (RM, #15, #16) If a song is used, it should be
brief to avoid disrupting the flow of the liturgy. The couple ought to choose only what has
meaning for them personally; they are not obliged to have anything at this point.
Sign of Peace—A pastoral practice has been to insert the Sign of Peace here. This should be
a brief exchange among the wedding party members and among the bride and groom and
their parents.
General Intercessions—The couple may compose petitions following the format of the ritual.
Nuptial Blessing
The Lord’s Prayer—The “Our Father” must be recited or sung by ALL. A prayer common to
all Christians, it is a powerful sign of unity when all join in reciting or singing it. If sung, “the
traditional text is retained...All settings must provide for the participation of the priest and all
present.” (MCW, #67)
For a mixed faith congregation it would be helpful to have the full text printed in the
program.
[Sign of Peace—If this rite was not included above, it may be done here. If it was previously
included, it is not repeated.]
Solemn Blessing
The question should be raised to the couple: “How does this piece of music relate to the
Scriptures you have chosen?”
a. All music is to reflect Catholic theology. As an example, “From a Distance” does not
reflect the Catholic belief in the indwelling presence of God. “In This Very Room”
indicates that a couple needs no one except one another, a far cry from the Catholic
sense of community.
In considering the liturgical propriety of “popular” secular music, a distinction must be made
between music of the disc (music we listen to, which attracts by melody and/or text), which
may be appropriate, and music of the theater (music strongly associated with a particular play
and context) that is not appropriate in a sacred liturgical setting.
An exception to this latter category is the “Wedding March” from Wagner’s “Lohengrin.” In
general, only the professional musician knows the original context of this music. The popular
context is simply wedding. Therefore, even though other processionals are encouraged or
preferred, this selection cannot be categorically forbidden. We urge pastoral sensitivity.
The one planning with the couple can suggest that a song that is special to the couple (but
which is unsuitable for liturgy) may be more appropriate at the wedding rehearsal supper or
at their first dance at the reception. It might help them to understand by asking them to
imagine asking the wedding reception band to play “Now Thank We All Our God.”
Here much pastoral sensitivity must be employed so that the couple is brought to an
awareness of the reasons for the Church’s legitimate restriction of the use of popular music.
(The “why” is more important for the couple to understand than the “no.”)
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VII. Catechesis
A. REMOTE CATECHESIS
“Catechesis for Marriage is not limited to the period immediately before marriage. People
begin to learn the meaning of married love and to acquire reverence for married life very
early in childhood; parents are the primary catechists of their children with respect to such
matters.” (The National Catechetical Directory (NCD) #131)
1. The Home
a. The home is the key place in which remote catechesis for this sacrament takes place.
The child’s parents are both catechists and models. From her/his earliest years, a child
learns what a Christian marriage is through daily contact with the adults in the home
environment.
b. “Spouses, conscientiously living out their married life in mutual love and respect and
in the upbringing of their children, reflect the mutual love of Christ and His Church.
They not only enrich each others lives, but they inspire and provide examples for
their children.
Inspired by the example and family prayer of their parents, children, and in fact
everyone living under the family roof, will more easily set out upon the path of a truly
human training, of salvation, and of holiness.” (Gaudium et Spes, #48)
Catechesis for the Sacrament of Marriage should be an integral part of the parish
religious education program. The scope and depth of this catechesis is to be adapted
to the age of the students. Marriage as one of the sacraments of the Church should be
presented at elementary level. For junior high and high school students the
sacramentality, the permanence, the quality of the marriage relationship, the joys and
duties of this lifestyle should be carefully presented.
3. Content
a. Content of remote catechesis includes, but is not limited to, the following concepts:
6. Marriage is a vocation.
9. Human sexuality especially in the context of human growth and development and
sexual intimacy.
B. PROXIMATE CATECHESIS
In addition to the guidelines outlined above, a couple preparing for marriage should receive
specific catechesis to assist them in their readiness for celebrating this sacrament. Catechesis
is appropriate not only for those wishing to enter into marriage for the first time, but also for
those who have been in a previous marriage and for those who have been married outside the
Church and who wish to have their marriage sanated or validated.
The priest, deacon or pastoral administrator who interviews the couple, carries out much of
this catechesis but other parish ministers, especially married couples, need to participate in
this ministry. The proximate preparation for marriage, however, should ordinarily begin only
when all impediments to the marriage have been removed.
1. General Concepts
Couples preparing for marriage should understand clearly all the concepts outlined in
remote catechesis and the implications for a lifelong experience of marriage. Proximity to
the actual celebration of the sacrament brings those concepts out of the theoretical realm,
and into the very practical context of immediate applicability.
“But marriage is not merely for the procreation of children: its nature as an
indissoluble covenant between two people and the good of the children demand that
the mutual love of the partners be properly shown, that it should grow and mature.
Even in cases where despite the intense desire of the spouses there are no children,
marriage still retains its character of being a whole manner and communion of life
and preserves its value and indissolubility.” (Gaudium et Spes, #50)
3. “Catechesis also includes a clear presentation of the Church’s teaching concerning moral
methods of regulating births, the evil of artificial birth control and of sterilization for that
purpose, and the crime of abortion; it should stress the protection due to human life once
conceived.” (NCD #131)
4. The value of the Catholic faith as a source of strength for the couple should be clearly
emphasized. While it recognizes the sacramental nature of interchurch marriages, the
Church encourages marriages within the faith.
5. Even when only one partner in a marriage is Catholic, catechesis includes the norms and
laws of the Church pertaining to Christian marriage.
6. When a Catholic is about to enter into marriage with a non-Christian, the Catholic party
requests a canonical dispensation. As the unity of Christian belief will not be available to
them in their married life, catechesis should encourage the couple to explore honestly the
difficulties that will affect them as a result of this reality.
8. Special catechesis is needed for those who have suffered the trauma of loss of a former
spouse through death or annulment of a former marriage. In the latter case, a decree of
invalidity may be obtained through the diocesan Marriage Tribunal. The declaration of
invalidity states that a valid marriage never existed between the parties according to the
Church’s understanding and definition of marriage.
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C. ONGOING CATECHESIS
1. All the areas described above in the remote and proximate catechesis.
2. Programs of marriage enrichment should be part of every parish adult catechetical agenda
and include opportunities for:
3. Special training programs provided by competent staff should be utilized for effective
training of sponsor couples. Married couples should be involved in giving catechesis
concerning marriage. They should continue pastoral involvement with the newly married
couple through the early stages of the marriage.
4. Catechesis and pastoral care should always be available to those who have experienced
the agony of failure in their efforts to live out their marriage commitment.
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