Leaders

Don’t
Command
Inspire Growth, Ingenuity, and Collaboration

Jorge Cuervo
Translated from the Spanish edition by Sergio Domínguez
 Leaders
Don’t
Command
Inspire Growth, Ingenuity,
and Collaboration

Jorge Cuervo
Translated from the Spanish edition by
Sergio Domínguez/Fast Lines, Inc.
© 2015 ASTD DBA the Association for Talent Development (ATD)
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

Originally published as Mejor liderar que mandar

© Libros de Cabecera and Jorge Cuervo, 2012

18 17 16 15 1 2 3 4 5

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 Contents

Foreword v
Preface ix
Introduction xiii

PART I: Understanding Leadership

1 What the Heck Is Leadership 3
2 Emotion and Leadership 23
3 Leadership From Within 33
4 An Overview of Systems Thinking 41
5 Leader and Boss 57

PART II: Ideas That Do Not Help

6 Idea Number 1: I Am a Leader 73
7 Idea Number 2: Objectivity 77
8 Idea Number 3: Flexibility 79

PART III: Leadership Tools

9 Meaning and Vision 85
10 Managing Values 97
11 Managing Beliefs, Assumptions, and Prejudices 105
12 Managing Expectations and Modifying Perspectives 111
13 Trust 117
14 Articulating 127
15 Normalizing 133
16 Developing People 141
17 Harmonizing 147
18 Facing Conflict 153
Conclusion 159

Acknowledgments 161
Appendix: Exercises to Start Connecting With the Self 163
Selected Bibliography 173
About the Author 175
 Foreword

In times of crisis like those we have seen recently, leadership—or the lack
thereof—often serves as an easy target to offload people’s frustrations about
who is responsible for the situation. Among the usual suspects are politi-
cians, business owners, and managers. Discussions on the topic show that
leadership is a multifaceted and complex social phenomenon that supports
multiple approaches. In these circumstances it is always a good idea for
someone to make the effort to bring some common sense to the discussion.
It is important to break down and update existing opinions on the topic and
provide some practical suggestions for those who want to improve their own
leadership skills.
This book by Jorge Cuervo does just that, cleverly exploiting a combina-
tion of the author’s own experiences as an executive, trainer, and coach, and
showing an undeniable talent for translating that experience into an easy and
enjoyable read.
Reading the book has made me reflect on what we teach about leadership
and how we can learn from and improve upon it. I will focus on two issues
that I consider to be particularly significant: the role of influence and the
importance of introspection in the development of leadership skills.
Gary Yukl, one of the foremost leadership scholars, has counted more
than 1,500 different definitions of the term leadership. Despite this enormous
diversity of meanings, many of them have some common characteristics:
Leadership is a type of relationship that has to do with influencing others in

v
Foreword

the service of a project or common objective. Influence, then, is a key element

in leadership, but it is too often viewed as something external. It is often seen
as a quality of the relationship between the one exercising leadership and
those to whom it is addressed. To understand the effectiveness of this type
of relationship it is more important to focus on the internal effects that it has
on different people.
A great ESADE Business School professor and an old friend, Paco Vila-
hur has pointed out in his lectures that “to influence” means to cause fluidity
or flow—to stir something inside people to get to an answer that appeals to
the rational and emotional dimensions of the human mind. Now, you can
obviously either bring out the best in people or awaken the worst of their
demons. Seeing this distinction allows us to recognize the difference between
good and bad leadership.
We should be wary of managers who deny their desire to influence others
because that is the essence of leadership. They tend to be people who believe
in the ability to dissociate the rational from the emotional. They believe in
checking their baggage at the door. Based on discoveries in the field of neuro-
science in the past two decades, Cuervo reminds us that this is biologically
impossible. Managers may also be people who ascribe a negative connotation
to influence, likening it to manipulation. This attitude is partially responsible
for people’s negative perception of the word leadership, which is fueled by too
many disgraceful examples where the ability to influence has been used to
serve spurious and transparent interests.
Indeed, the line between influence and manipulation—which can be
very thin—becomes clear when we ask ourselves about the intentions and
underlying values. Here we find the freedom to accept or reject an idea, or to
adhere to the project or not.
Despite all the criticism, companies and individual managers continue
to invest millions of dollars a year in leadership development. Receiving an
adequate return on this investment is a major challenge, and means walking

vi
 Foreword

a path fraught with obstacles that are rooted in widespread ideas and beliefs.
Cuervo refutes some of these beliefs and proposes many tools to pave the way.
One such idea is to look within yourself. In a celebrated article, Kay
Peters highlighted the four stages that lead to maturity in management
development: learning management techniques, understanding the strategy,
exercising leadership, and self-discovery, including a sense that one’s own
actions are in the service of others. The message here, with an air of classi-
cism, becomes “the improvement of leadership based on the improvement of
self-leadership.”
This call for introspection, also reflected in Richard Boyatzis’s inten-
tional change model, which Cuervo recognizes as a source of inspiration, is a
call for executives to invest some of their invaluable time for thinking about
themselves—to catch their breath, reorient, and reprioritize. Paradoxically,
this self-reflective retreat creates the conditions for the reconstruction of a
more open and selfless leadership model. As Cuervo points out, taking inspi-
ration from Rafael Echeverria, one way to understand leadership is to think
of it as a group quality and survival tool, from a sense of freedom of action
that provides full awareness of the temporary situation and the privilege that
playing the role of leader signifies.
In these times of crisis, Joseph Badaracco’s advice takes on renewed
importance. He proposed that we benefit more from the combined
work of many hardworking and discreet leaders than a few heroic and singu-
lar acts of leadership. Cuervo’s book is a good tool for those leaders who seek
continuous improvement in the performance of their complex responsibilities.

Ricard Serlavós
Associate Professor, People Management and Organization
ESADE Universitat Ramon Llull

vii
 Preface

I started to write this book with what seemed like a clear objective: to
connect current leadership theory with my own professional experience
in a way that provided a map to help aspiring leaders face personal and
professional challenges.
In short, I set out to write something that readers would find useful.
This process is the result of my own personal evolution, one that quickly
uncovered a problem: Too many years of writing reports, memos, and brief-
ings leave a mark. Accept it, Jorge. You are a boring writer.
I was afraid people wouldn’t even make it past page four. Four? Really?
Nope! Not even page two!
I felt the cortisol gushing through my veins with the fear of a blank page.
The ideas that flowed freely in speech now rattled around in my head chaot-
ically, full of dynamically complex interconnections and consequences. I
couldn’t make sense of it all in a way that someone else could understand. I
would fail.
Even my plump little ego, which thus far had given me the strength to go
through this challenge, now grew thin and started to work against me: “Give
it up. Don’t risk the embarrassment.” I called a meeting of all of my “inner
Jorges” and asked them for help. This is my team:
• Jorge number one is the tech. He is rational, methodical, and
academic. He needs order and proof for everything. Solid and
boring, he doesn’t worry much about good impressions. He has

ix
Preface

a degree in pharmaceutical sciences and an MBA. Life quickly put

him on the back burner. In my head, he wears a white lab coat.
• Jorge number two arose when the former proved himself boring.
He picked up the baton and took control. He’s the aggressive
executive: ambitious, dominant, and resourceful. He enjoys
achievement and the thrill of a challenge. He wants results and
won’t tolerate nonsense. His dream is to be the general manager
of something big. He has an enormous and wild ego. He loves
expensive suits and is not averse to a good tie (clearly, there are
preppy tendencies). Some value him while others can’t stand his
arrogance, but we should be understanding. Deep down he has
an enormous need for acceptance and acknowledgment. A lot
of his strength comes from those vulnerabilities, and he sees his
job as a way of overcoming them. He’s not a bad guy, just a little
overwhelming. I try to space out his appearances because empathy
isn’t his strong suit.
• Jorge number three is the consultant. He’s a lot like Jorge number
two only more sensible and a better listener. He’s also a bit like
Jorge number one in his analytical and scientific spirit. He lives in
the same world as Jorge number two, but moves through it more
slowly. He’s more of an observer than a man of action. He sees
things from the outside and is less ambitious. He wears a suit and
tie, but adds an informal touch to his ensemble. He struggles to
stay in control under pressure from Jorge number two, who shows
up like a whirlwind. Jorge number three has found that at its core,
his job is to answer three questions:
▫▫ Why don’t people do what they’re told?
▫▫ Why don’t people do what they say they’ll do?
▫▫ Why don’t people do what’s best for them?
Answering them is only half the solution. The other half is
another story. In any case, he’s found that he is interested in
people, and wants to help them but doesn’t know how. What he
has learned about organizational management makes a lot of

x
 Preface

sense, but in practice things always get complicated and turn out
differently than he expected. Jorge number three seems constantly
puzzled and gets the feeling that there’s something beneath the
organization that escapes him.
• Jorge number four is the professor. He was born a bit out of
necessity and is connected with something deeply rooted in my
nature. He likes to see how people can grow and is driven by the
occasional sense of gratitude he gets from them. Training people
gives my life meaning and Jorge number four is the incarnation of
that. However, I didn’t know any of this when he showed up. It was
a complete surprise.
Jorge number four is simpler than the previous iterations. He
wants to connect with his students from his being, not his ego. He
really likes what he does even though it’s often exhausting. Jorge
number four dresses casually and adapts well to his surroundings,
depending on the battlefield. He likes feisty audiences and enjoys
surprising people. He’s a bit of a provocateur. What really gets him
going deep down, more than dispensing knowledge, is awakening
a desire to learn in his students. He’s fine with being a doorman
(opening doors for people): Some will walk through them and
others won’t.
Jorge number four is always amazed at how little humans learn,
how much effort it takes us, and how much we can do with the
little bits we get! Since coming to this realization, Jorge number
four tells his students to be on their toes so that those few things
that they learn are truly relevant to their lives.
• Jorge number five, the coach, was the last one to show up. He is the
result of the collaboration between Jorge number three and Jorge
number four to find ways to help bring about change in people.
He’s happy coaching, but he isn’t a fundamentalist—if one day he
finds a method that’s more effective, he will gladly incorporate it
into his repertoire and unlearn whatever he needs to. Jorge number
five is the perpetual student, the one who truly loves to learn. Still,
he is not free from occasionally having to fight off his ego.

xi
Preface

Lately, he works more and more with Jorge number four in his
courses. They get along well, are happy with their results, and make
a good team. They aren’t sure how far this collaboration will go but
are willing to give it a shot.
This is the team I recruited to write these pages. They are fighters who
aren’t afraid to roll up their sleeves! They don’t always agree, but people say
that a spirited debate is healthy, right? I guess we’ll see. In any event, you hold
the result in your hands and it is you who will determine its success.
But what’s that? Someone else approaches? Will there be a Jorge
number six?

xii
 Introduction

Executive leadership quality can explain as much as

45 percent of an organization’s performance.
—Day and Lord (1988)

“Companies do not get the most out of their people” (Michaels, Handfield
-Jones, and Axelrod 2001). When executives were asked if their companies
developed their people well, only 3 percent responded positively!
Something is up. If you’re a manager or business owner, you know full
well that your job has become an extremely high-risk activity, as much a risk
to your professional career as your health. This was not always the case. But
today the first decision a manager has to face is “can I apply my previous
experience here? And, if so, to what extent?” Managers are fighting the great-
est dose of uncertainty in history and so are their teams.

From Hominid to Man

The root of this problem stretches back to millions of years ago when an
adventurous primate descended from a tree in the African bush and began
the journey of man. Our ancestors may seem, at first glance, to have been
rather defenseless in that environment without powerful jaws or sharp claws.

xiii
Introduction

Their chances for survival seemed grim. But they overcame their obstacles
and we are the product of their success! Although I sometimes look around
me and am overcome by doubt.
They survived because they developed three key skills: the ingenuity to
find creative solutions, the power to act as a group, and, above all, the will
to survive at all costs. And each of those skills resided in their brain. We are
who we are today because of a survival-oriented brain. That is its function,
its raison d’être, not the pursuit of truth or achievement of happiness. Yes, we
can use it for that, too, but our brain was not sculpted by evolution for those
ends. If we want to use it for that purpose we will have to learn to reprogram
it, because we did not come factory-equipped with the necessary software.
We have to develop it.

In short, our brain is a tool that is both powerful and fragile, one that
we barely know how to adequately manage to meet the challenges of
our times. In the past it has allowed us to extend our lifespan, as well
as create a world so full of uncertainty and change that it is testing the
limits of our own ability to adapt to it.

The same brain that once commanded a hoard of tribal warriors is now
in charge of a nuclear fleet—or a bank!
That explains a lot, right? Spectacular advances in neuroscience high-
light the limitations of our very nature to successfully confront the world
we’ve created, at times with more ambition than conscience. Authors such
as Antonio Damasio, recipient of the Prince of Asturias Award for Technical
and Scientific Research in 2005, have torn down some of the basic paradigms
that much of our thinking is built on. For example, the classical definition of
the human being has changed from that of a rational being to a “being that
rationalizes over an emotional base.”

xiv
 Introduction

Reason and Emotion

Today we know that it is not possible to make decisions and carry them out
without emotion. In fact, it is the root of our success as a species. Under-
stand success in the strictest biological sense as the ability to proliferate. For
the most part, the discoveries that have changed our perception of human
potential were produced during the first decade of the 21st century, although
they have yet to make it into the management of organizations in any signif-
icant way. We continue going about projects as we always have: an authority
develops an allegedly rational plan that came from a small number of brains,
which is then implanted into the organization.
Don’t we realize that the concept of implantation implies violence? It is
surgical, metallic, and applied by force. The missing piece of this puzzle—
which some may even call the victim—is the individual, the one responsi-
ble for making our plan work! Isn’t that where the floodwaters that capsize
our projects come from? The current organizational environment is the most
complex it has ever been; we must apply new understanding to it so that we
can turn the way we manage organizations around.
Some things have no name in accounting. And we all know that which
has no name does not exist. We have a place in our ledgers for personnel costs
but not lack of motivation, lack of incentive, debilitating routines, or lost
opportunities. These costs do exist. They are real but they are camouflaged
elsewhere and because of that are never incorporated into the organization’s
executive consciousness. You manage what you know. What you don’t know
manages you!
In a time of accelerated change—one that is simultaneously fascinating
and stressful—in which paradigms are constantly being revised, traditional
safety nets guarantee nothing. Today, organizational survival depends on
successfully managing three factors:

xv
Introduction

• innovation and creativity

• flexibility in the face of change
• client relationships.
Whether you are innovating, actively adapting, or properly caring for
your clients, every member of the organization, including those who do not
participate directly in these areas, must go beyond simply doing their jobs.
They must want to do them. And if they enjoy doing them, all the better.
That “wanting to do things” is what we call attitude. Without it there is no
commitment. Without commitment there are no positive results. That “want-
ing to do things” attitude is the key to the survival of the company: Whether
we are ready to see it or not, the difference between the life and death of the
organization is marked increasingly by the human factor, and not by viewing
humans as resources. That is why the times we live in are so harsh to our
management style!
Today’s managers are not worse than those of the past, but it sure feels
like we are. We face a completely new environment—one that is much more
demanding—and we are armed with concepts and tools from the 20th
century, maybe even the 19th century. Complexity makes uncertainty
permeate all situations in life, and traditional parameters that up until now
have defined a good manager are proving insufficient.

An environment filled with this much uncertainty demands a

leadership style that will inspire, encourage, and develop attitudes
in teams that equip them to confront it. We will see that this is exactly
the same as saying more and better leadership.

Acting like a leader today is much more necessary and difficult, requir-
ing more commitment than in any other time in recorded history. It is not
enough to get our teams to put their hands to work. We also need them to
include their hearts and minds. And the difficulties that our teams experi-
ence in this environment have to be overcome first.

xvi
 Introduction

Managers Are Not Always Leaders

Without a doubt, these days being a manager does not automatically mean
being a leader. That should be the case, of course. Leadership should perme-
ate the entire management function, but this requires personal dedication
and specific and constant training by the people in that role. These complex
times that we live in, which are a result of rapid change, demand better people
management skills, starting with those who manage others.
Those of us who have years of team management and consulting expe-
rience can attest that people tend to use only a fraction of their potential at
work. For instance, I remember a series of change management workshops
that we ran in a multinational company with a good reputation in the technol-
ogy sector. The exercise required several different groups to design a change
management project that met a set of predefined parameters. The groups
that consisted of unspecialized workers came up with proposals of the same
high quality as those in groups that included managers, even though the
unspecialized workers used less technical language. The hardest part for us
was convincing them that they were capable of doing it. They at first refused
to even try, frustrated by years of discouragement, and were surprised by
the results. Some were even upset and claimed that they would have
preferred not to have found out! By the end of the workshop, we concluded
that they needed quality leadership that would make them believe in their
own abilities.
Managing talent is the key competitive factor. We go to great lengths to
find and keep it. And yet there are untapped wells of squandered talent in the
very same companies that are desperately looking for it outside. Do we think
talent does not exist because we do not know how to extract it?
In order to do that, we have to know and develop our understanding of
how we operate—starting with ourselves. We can then mobilize those three

xvii
Introduction

levers that have been the key to the survival of our species: the capacity for
ingenuity, teamwork, and the will to survive. These keys are also the basis for
success in business.
Studies are constantly being published that tie leadership to organiza-
tional results and the market even offers methodological tools to evaluate
the quality of that leadership. It has been proven that leadership development
makes the difference by accomplishing several goals, including mobilizing
existing knowledge in different levels of the organization, involving people
and increasing their commitment, fostering follow-through and communi-
cation, and managing resistance to change by transforming it into initiative
and creativity. OK, that sounds great! But how do you do it?
There are a lot of ways to do it, and they all follow the same paradigm
shift: Move from “get people to do” to “get people to want to do.” And, as we
have seen, the art of “getting people to want” has a name: leadership. The
book that you have in your hands was written with the aim of helping you
create and follow your own path as a leader.
Our challenge as managers is to awaken and mobilize our capacity for
leadership so that we can cultivate that true well of competitive advantage.
For many companies, this will mean modifying corporate culture and,
above all, overcoming our traditional tendency toward more authoritative
management styles. We will have to learn and unlearn. We will become more
competitive and—in all probability—also better people.
Yes, it is a difficult road that we set out on because it also takes us deeper
within ourselves. But the stakes are worth the effort and the rewards are
gigantic. Not only will we bring our teams to succeed in the complex envi-
ronments that we find ourselves in today, ones fraught with uncertainty,
but we will also go through the rewarding process of professional and
personal growth.

xviii
 Introduction

How to Use This Book

As I explained earlier, the objective of this work is to help readers construct
their own map to navigate the foggy world of leadership and, thus, get maxi-
mum practical use. To that end, my first recommendation is to start by
following the central pillars—start from the beginning. This book is broken
down into three distinct parts. Part I shows the essence of leadership and the
emotional processes that influence it. Thus it is essential to the meaning of
the following two parts.
However, from that moment on, even though the book has a logical
structure, you can follow any order you please. The relationship between
leadership and logical reason is indirect. And sometimes we need to delve
deeper into a certain topic that at that moment seems pressing to us. For this
reason, the chapters in Parts II and III are written in a way that, while fitting
in a natural order, will also hold up as independent sections.
Part II, Ideas That Do Not Help, looks to dismantle a series of beliefs and
stereotypes that hold a lot of weight in our world, but often lack real meaning
and hinder the development of leadership. Part III contains what I call lead-
ership tools, and answers the question, “What can I do to improve my own
leadership skills?”
In the beginning of this section I used the word map deliberately: Expe-
rience has taught me that leadership is not a place suited for cookbooks. The
same recipe applied to different people and different circumstances will no
doubt yield different results. So my second recommendation—and the most
important one—is that rather than learning new skills, you must make them
your own. Experiment and find yourself in the process. I suggest that you
read this book with an explorer’s spirit, one that goes into unknown territory
to discover its secrets and who, not just focusing on the goal, also enjoys the
adventure. So grab your safari hat and go!

Buy This Book

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