THE FEARLESS APPROACH

BLUEPRINT: 5 PROVEN STEPS TO

OVERCOMING APPROACH ANXIETY
On paper, approaching a woman sounds like the easiest thing in the world.
You just move your feet, open your mouth, force air from your lungs, and
speak.

“Hello. I just noticed how cute you are and had to meet you. I’m Tony.”

As demonstrations, I’ve said variations of this line hundreds of times on my

bootcamps.

Did this line always work? No, not even remotely. It rarely “worked” because
no lines “work.” That’s not how seduction operates. There are layers upon
layers of nuance involved.

Seducing a woman is like a dance; It’s more art than science.

What you say vs how you say it
The other day a student said to me: “Cold approaching sure sucks.”

I agree. But so does going to the gym, cleaning your bedroom, eating
healthy, and anything else that requires grit. The beginning always sucks,
but we all love the payoff.

What I found over fifteen years of teaching men how to approach women
confidently, smoothly, and with charm, is that “what you say” matters a lot
less than “how” you say it.

Sharing this truth with a student seldom has a significant impact. Every
newbie firmly believes that if they possessed the precise words to say, all
their dating problems would be solved.

Despite being one of the world's most experienced dating coaches in the
world, I’ve found it challenging to change their mindset.

The truth is it takes years of deep immersion in the lifestyle of personal

transformation to generate measurable results. And especially in a subject as
nebulous and intangible as sex, romance, and love.
What is anxiety?
Here is my simple definition of anxiety:

Anxiety is trying to solve every single problem at the same time.

I want you to understand exactly what anxiety is. Then the next time you’re
flaking on your approach you’ll know exactly why you’re going against your
most primal desires and chickening out.

You will realize it’s not you; you are not a broken man. You’re just
experiencing a small irrational fear that can easily be overcome.

It just takes a little self-awareness and a fair dose of courage.

This fear is a normal biological function and once you identify its cause, you
can then treat it as you would any ailment.
What is anxiety?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with approaching a woman you find
attractive. And there is nothing to be afraid of. It’s the most natural, normal
behaviour any man could have.

Never be ashamed of your most basic desires. You deserve to find love and
romance just as much as anyone.

The only difference is you are not going to wait for it. You’re going to actively
seek it. You have a purpose.

Anxiety: trying to answer too many questions at once

A widely cited concept is the "magical number seven, plus or minus two"
proposed by psychologist George A. Miller in 1956. [1]

According to Miller's theory, the average person can hold around seven
chunks of information in their working memory simultaneously. Any more
than that and we lose our ability to effectively process and retain the
information.

So if you want to approach a beautiful woman your mind might start

chirping like this.

[1] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1957-02914-001
“Oh, she looks good. Should I approach her? If I do, what should I say? Is she
alone or on the way to meet someone? She has her headphones on, would I
be bothering her? What if she thinks I’m creepy? Am I creepy? Does she
know I’m looking at her? Will other people see me approaching her and
think I’m creepy? What if she has a boyfriend? What if she’s underage? What
if she’s a feminist? What did I read about opening women on the street from
that Youtube video? I’m getting nervous. Maybe I shouldn’t approach her.
Maybe I should! Maybe I should wait.”

Within seconds your poor mind already has a dozen or more points of
concentration, so it becomes overloaded. Just imagine a robot with steam
blowing out of its ears.

Anxiety is perfectly normal

I’m going to teach you exactly how to overcome this annoying emotional
state, but first I need you to understand what approach anxiety really is.

Anxiety, or fear, is a perfectly normal, natural response to stress or potential

threats.

It’s a nagging feeling of unease, fear, or apprehension about future events or

uncertain situations. Anxiety heightens alertness to prepare the body for
action.

Because your old lizard brain doesn’t know the difference between fighting
a sabre tooth tiger and approaching a strange, beautiful woman, it goes into
“fight or flight” mode.
This triggers a complex series of biological responses to prepare the body to
respond to a perceived threat or danger. This response is controlled by the
autonomic sympathetic nervous system.

Here are some of the key physiological changes that occur during the fight-
or-flight response:

Activation of the Sympathetic Nervous System: The sympathetic nervous

system releases stress hormones, including adrenaline and noradrenaline,
into the bloodstream.

Increased Heart Rate and Blood Pressure: Adrenaline causes the heart to
beat faster, which increases blood flow and oxygen delivery to the muscles
and vital organs. Blood pressure also rises to support the body's heightened
state.

Dilated Pupils: The pupils dilate to enhance visual sensitivity and improve
peripheral vision, allowing for better detection of potential threats.

Increased Respiration: Breathing rate increases to supply more oxygen to

the body and remove carbon dioxide more efficiently. This helps meet the
increased oxygen demand during physical exertion.

Activation of the HPA Axis: The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis is

activated, leading to the release of cortisol, commonly known as the stress
hormone. Cortisol helps to regulate energy metabolism, increase blood
sugar levels, and suppress non-essential functions like digestion and
immune response.
Enhanced Muscle Readiness: Adrenaline prompts the muscles to receive
more oxygen and nutrients, enabling them to contract quickly and with
greater force. This prepares the body for physical action, such as fighting or
running.

Suppression of Non-Essential Functions: During fight-or-flight mode,

certain bodily functions considered non-essential for immediate survival,
such as digestion and reproductive functions, are temporarily suppressed to
conserve energy and resources.

Heightened Mental Alertness: The brain receives increased blood flow and
oxygen, enhancing focus, alertness, and sensory perception. This state of
hyperarousal helps in detecting potential threats and responding rapidly.
These physiological changes collectively prepare your body to respond to
perceived danger or threats. Once the threat is no longer present, your
body's relaxation response, controlled by the parasympathetic nervous
system, helps restore balance and return bodily functions to normal levels.

Basically, when you flood your mind with limitless variables, you panic, you
stress out, and then you shut down.

The woman you wanted to approach never knows you existed, and you go
home to masturbate to waifu clips on Reddit.

As you can see this isn’t the ideal state to be in while attempting to charm a
lady.

The good news is with the right preparation, mental tools and training,
anyone can easily overcome and even completely eliminate this emotional
state.

Now that you realize there is nothing wrong with you and that anxiety is a
natural biological response that occurs automatically, we can focus on
lessening it so that you can confidently approach beautiful women anytime
and anywhere you choose.
Relax bro. It’s just a girl.
If you ask any normie about how to overcome approach anxiety, they’ll say
something like:

She’s just a girl there’s no reason to be nervous

Just be yourself
Be confident, women like confidence
Just give her a compliment
Relax bro, you just need to chill

And while this advice isn’t wrong, if you took these people and dropped
them into the same situation (cold approach) they would collectively crap
their pants.
Relax bro. It’s just a girl.
The point I want to hammer into you dear reader is that:

1. You are not unique: Having anxiety when trying to approach attractive
strangers for romance is stressful for everyone at first.

2. You are not broken: Just like a soldier can learn to overcome fear and
become an ice-cold badass, you can become an ultra-calm and confident
ladies' man.

Soon I’m going to give you practical, actionable steps that will bring you into
the state of confident relaxation that beautiful women find so desirable in a
man.

But first, let’s talk a little bit more about the physical and psychological
symptoms of approach anxiety.
The Mind-Body Connection
Approach anxiety isn’t a disease you’re born with. It’s just your body's
natural response to stressful situations. With a little training, you can lessen
it, and even eliminate it forever.

Anxiety exists only in two places:

1.In your body

2.In your mind

When you have an anxiety attack it will start in either your mind or your
body. These two locations are linked.
I call this the Mind-Body Connection.

You cannot have anxiety in one or the other. They always come together.

What does anxiety feel like?

In your body
Increased heart rate
Heart palpitations
Sweaty palms, forehead, armpits, feet
Increased breathing rate
Dilated pupils
Dry mouth

In your mind
Racing thoughts
Persistent worrying
Feeling overwhelmed
Difficulty concentrating
Fear or panic
Negative self-talk
So an approach anxiety attack may look like this:
You’re out with your friends and see an attractive girl having a coffee on a
patio. One of your friends catches you looking and says: “Go talk to her.”

Immediately a heavy dose of adrenaline is released into your bloodstream.

Your heart rate leaps, your eyes dilate, your palms sweat, and you think of all
the possible ways this could go horribly wrong.

Your mind chatters: “What do I say? What if people see me? What if she
thinks I’m creepy? Do I look good enough for her?”

This is where most men will laugh it off to expel the energy and say “She’s
not my type” or devise some other excuse to avoid doing the approach.

But things could have been much different if they knew how to conquer the
anxiety.
How to Relax (and Conquer Anxiety
Forever)
To conquer approach anxiety you need only to do one of these two steps:

1.Quiet your mind

2.Calm your body

When you quiet the chatter in your mind your heart rate will slow down.

When you lower your heart rate, your mind chatter will stop racing.

And then you approach with a calm mind, and a relaxed body.

It’s really that simple.

Calm Focus Exercise

The next time you feel approach anxiety (or any anxiety) bring attention
away from your objective (approaching that girl) and back to yourself.

Where did you first notice the anxiety? Was it in your body, or was it your
mind?

1. Identify and Isolate: Where is the fear physically in your body? In your
chest, heart, lungs, forehead, or stomach?
If it’s in your physical body isolate it. Bring attention to your beating heart, or
your racing thoughts. Realize this is not you, but simply part of the machine
that is you and now you are taking control of the machine.

2. Focus: Focus your attention on something calming, or even boring. It

could be a spot on the wall, a flower, a signpost or a rock.

Think of that object and only that object. Do not let any other thoughts come
into your mind. Let any distractions just float past you like clouds.

3. Breathe: Count to ten and take three deep breaths in through your nose
and out through your mouth. This will slow your beating heart and slow your
mind.

4. Say: Say to yourself “Calm, relaxed, happy.” Tell your heart to slow down;
tell your thoughts to be quiet, tell your soul to be joyful.

5. Approach: Once your body is relaxed, your mind is quiet, and you feel
happy, you can approach her. Don’t hesitate.

The Calm Focus Exercise works by shifting your focus away from the source
of anxiety and redirecting it towards yourself and the present moment.

By bringing attention to the physical sensations associated with anxiety,

such as your racing heart or racing thoughts, you begin to detach yourself
from them, recognizing that they are not your entire identity but rather
temporary experiences within your overall being.
Identifying and isolating the physical manifestation of fear helps create a
sense of separation between yourself and the anxiety. By acknowledging
these sensations, you gain a greater sense of control over them and
recognize that they don't define who you are.

The next step of focusing your attention on something calming or mundane

serves as a distraction from anxious thoughts and emotions. By engaging
with an object or point of focus, you create a mental anchor that helps to
reduce the impact of intrusive thoughts and external distractions.

This cultivates a state of what some call “mindfulness,” where you aim to
stay fully present and immersed in the chosen object, allowing other
thoughts to pass by without becoming absorbed in them.
Deep breathing calms both the body and mind. By slowing down your
breath, you activate the body's relaxation response, which counters the
physiological arousal associated with anxiety. It helps to regulate your
heartbeat, relax tense muscles and creates a sense of calm.

Verbal affirmations like “I am calm” serve as a positive reinforcement

technique. By intentionally using calming and reassuring words, you
actively guide your internal dialogue toward a state of calmness, relaxation,
and happiness.

This practice helps counter negative self-talk and reinforces the positive
mindset that beautiful women love.

Once you’ve completed the preceding steps and achieved a relaxed state of
body and mind, you’re ready to approach the beautiful woman from a place
of calm confidence.

And all of this can be done in under thirty seconds.

Full Immersion is Still Required
This Calm Focus Exercise is not a one-stop cure-all for approach anxiety. It’s
just a tool to help you speed up the process.

I overcame my anxieties by facing my fears head-on. I went out day and

night for several years approaching women in bars, clubs, beaches, streets,
and malls. And combined with meditative practices, I am now fearless
around beautiful women.

If I can do it, you can too.

These meditative practices will help, but the best way to conquer your
approach anxiety is to go out and approach women.

By putting yourself forward into the root of your irrational fears, you can
begin to rehabilitate yourself. Just know that the process can take many
months, years, or even decades.

However, finding yourself a great mentor can speed up the process

dramatically.

If you want to learn more about how to approach women, keep reading my
blog at www.absoluteability.com, and my emails which you are now
subscribed to.
Additionally, consider my remote coaching program, which offers
personalized coaching, guidance, valuable tips, and effective dating
strategies. Through this program, you can accelerate your progress toward
achieving all of your goals beyond your wildest imagination.

I offer a free remote coaching consultation to anyone interested. You can do

this over any messenger app that is convenient for you.

Book your free coaching consultation today.

Sincerely,

Tony Depp
Conclusion
In conclusion, the Fearless Approach Blueprint provides you with 5 proven
steps to overcome approach anxiety and confidently connect with beautiful
women.

Remember, it's not just about what you say, but how you say it.

Approach anxiety is a normal biological response, and by understanding its

causes and effects, you can treat it like any other ailment and improve your
romantic life.

Anxiety is the result of trying to solve every problem at once, overwhelming

your mind with countless variables. Remember that you’re not alone in
experiencing this challenge.
Conclusion
Everyone feels anxious when approaching attractive strangers at first. It
doesn't mean you're broken; it simply means you need to learn and grow.

To conquer approach anxiety, you must quiet your mind and calm your
body. By redirecting your focus from the source of worry to yourself, you
regain control.

Practice the Calm Focus Exercise: identify and isolate the physical
sensations of fear, focus your attention on something calming, breathe
deeply, and use positive affirmations to create a relaxed state.

Once you achieve this state, you can confidently approach the situation or
person that previously caused anxiety.

Remember, you have the power to transform your anxiety into confidence.
With practice and perseverance, you can become the calm and confident
person that beautiful women are attracted to.

So embrace the Fearless Approach Blueprint and step into a world of

exciting possibilities. The journey may be challenging at first, but the
rewards will be worth it.

Stay focused, stay positive, and keep taking action. Your romantic life will
explode beyond your wildest expectations.
Have Questions? Let Me Help You
Directly
It can be challenging to navigate personal growth on your own. As an
experienced men's coach with over fifteen years of experience, I understand
the struggles and can help you overcome approach anxiety and build
confidence in social situations.

To support you in your journey, I offer a free remote coaching

consultation.

During this session, we can discuss your specific goals, challenges, and
explore how coaching can benefit you.

Together, we can create a personalized plan to help you overcome

obstacles and achieve your desired outcomes.

Don't let approach anxiety hold you back any longer. Take the first step
towards a more confident and fulfilling social life.

Book your free remote coaching consultation today by clicking this link.

I look forward to connecting with you and supporting your growth!

Sincerely,

Tony Depp

www.AbsoluteAbility.com