As a parent, it can be frustrating and concerning when your child refuses to do their homework.

It's a
common struggle that many parents face, and it can lead to tension and arguments within the family.
But before you get too frustrated, it's important to understand why your child may be resistant to
completing their homework.

The Challenge of Homework

Homework can be a challenging task for children, especially if they struggle with the subject or have
a short attention span. After a long day at school, the last thing your child may want to do is sit
down and do more work. They may also feel overwhelmed by the amount of homework they have,
causing them to shut down and avoid it altogether.

It's also possible that your child may not understand the purpose of homework. They may see it as
busy work or something that doesn't have a real impact on their learning. This can lead to a lack of
motivation and effort when it comes to completing their assignments.

The Importance of Homework

While it may be frustrating to deal with a child who won't do their homework, it's important to
remember the purpose of homework. It reinforces the lessons taught in the classroom and helps your
child develop important skills such as time management and responsibility. It also allows them to
practice and apply what they have learned, leading to better understanding and retention of the
material.

Homework also prepares your child for higher education and the workforce. In college and in the
workplace, there will be assignments and tasks that need to be completed outside of regular class or
work hours. By instilling good homework habits now, you are setting your child up for success in the
future.

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She has been a professional blogger for over 10 years. Your relationship with your child’s teachers
will pay off during the good times as well as the challenging times. If there's only someway to make
this easier, such as having computerized records -- heck, even if you have that it still would not be
easy. Schedule a time that your child must begin their homework every day. Rest assured that many
parents are going through similar struggles. Or perhaps the work is below his level and he needs more
challenging assignments. If you can, volunteer to help in the classroom or at special events. The Four
Skills Kids Master in Elementary School Homework. It makes her feel as if I am “always giving her
work” when the reality is she could knock it out in a few short sittings per week. To minimize
“homework battles” (i.e., parent-child conflict over homework), you need to understand why your
child is resistant to doing homework in the first place. The two groups circle each other with an equal
mixture of suspicion and disdain, incredulous that the other’s underlying worldview is genuine. Make
a rule that your child must focus on their homework without any distractions. Homework from
school is very light, and it’s way too easy for her, so I don’t press it because it’s often just busy work.
While it would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down and
dug into their homework, this just isn’t going to be the case with most kids. She has a very stubborn
personality, and we often spend hours fighting over simple five-minute assignments. As a parent you
must look into your heart to know what to do, how to do it and when to do it. These are some of the
many hats I adorn in regular life. Read more... my child does not want to do his homework, part 2
Read My Child does not like school, my child is a dreamer - a graduate instructor's views on
creativity, Einstein, and the limited role of education. Or any consequence related to the situation
you experience. How many more temper tantrums and arguments will you endure. Annie Murphy
Paul writes: And evidence suggests that as of now, homework isn’t making the grade. For more info
check our privacy policy where you will get more info on where, how and why we store your data.
Just last week, my son came home with a 4th grade assignment to do an “All About Me” poster. My
mother was to wait for me in the car after school to take me to the party. His dad intuitively knew
that music was important to his son. Giving your youngster a time limit for completing his work is
useful, especially if you reward finishing on time. I love my kids so much and feel so bad when they
struggle, thanks for this reminder on how to lead with empathy. The problem is making kids
understand the pros and also become interested in doing them promptly. So far, research on the
subject has been mixed, finding that different types of parental involvement in homework have
different relationships to achievement. When you’re trying to actually do it at home — not that it
wasn’t work that they couldn’t do or anything like that — but he was just overwhelmed by the end
of it. “Parents, I suppose are often afraid to go against the plan, because they might feel that the
teacher might have a thing against them.
Opting children out of homework is at the parents’ discretion. You can offer smaller rewards for
reaching a designated amount of points, and a big reward once they have accomplished a larger goal
(such as a good test score or the end of a quarter). If your son doesn’t nap at home, then he might
not nap at school and that’s OK. My kids loved this! They tell you the answers, and you write them
down. If your child is procrastinating because they don’t understand their assignment, help them
break it down or get additional help from a tutor. So instead of homework, he was probably
doodling and daydreaming. This student went on to receive a 4 year academic scholarship to a major
university. As long as they have plenty of support, they will be much more likely to succeed. They’ll
listen to your concerns, maybe ask you some questions, and probably discuss your situation with a
few other adults, like the rest of your teachers or a learning specialist. It was to get something out of
you, whether it was the answers or your step-by-step coaching. Annie Murphy Paul writes: And
evidence suggests that as of now, homework isn’t making the grade. Set a timer for 5-10 minutes
and allow your child to make a snack, stretch their legs, or just get a drink of water. Moms and dads
often find it very difficult to limit these activities. To help, work with your child to set goals she can
meet and to come up with a mutually agreeable homework schedule. People with performance goals
believe that having to make lots of effort signals low natural ability, and that ability in general is a
fixed trait with little opportunity for improvement. A learning difficulty or anxiety over problems at
home may be affecting schoolwork. Schools are free to have their own policy on homework” adding
that “there are no Department circulars or guidelines regarding homework for primary school
pupils”. Now sometime you pitch in because of too much homework and for the sake of getting
everything completed on time you volunteer to do. See if she works better alone or with someone
else. That math worksheet you’re scared of: the quicker you’re into it, the quicker you’re out. I think
it’s time to seek out the support of adults who are equipped to help you. In it, I walk you through
creating a homework routine that’s right for your family. His dad intuitively knew that music was
important to his son. In our recent TODAY Moms survey of 26,000 moms, there was plenty of
discussion by moms on what they do when their kids get saddled with silly homework. But carried to
an extreme, it can become debilitating. Your relationship with your child’s teachers will pay off
during the good times as well as the challenging times. This comment was refreshing and proof that
not all is lost in the world (emphasis added). I have to do the hard things even when I'm tired, sick,
and close to my wits end. It requires you to set a timer for 25 mins and then take a short break for 10
minutes. Everyone can work on their job independently by not distracting others.
It will likely help the routine become more consistent and effective for your child. I was depressed
for a long time as a kid but got over it during middle school, but now it’s coming back and I really
hate going to school. It prepares the child to handle deadlines from an early age. Failure teaches you
some seriously important skills: what you are doing wrong, what you need to do differently next
time, and emotional coping strategies to overcome the real heartache that can occur when we crash
and burn. The goal was to give my students a vision of a possible future if they worked hard and
applied themselves. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts at Dave is Home. However, there
are certain instances such as when you as a parent help your kids with homework, make them fall
behind in the class. Your son is in his room, but not doing his homework. This will make it much
easier to convince them to get their homework done, even if they don’t want to do it. Help your
student budget their time by establishing assignments they can knock out on Sunday night. If you
“help” relieve your child’s anxiety by doing their work for them, you have reinforced them to avoid
taking on a challenge, and taught them to rely on others for an easy way out. To excuse away. To
pretend like they don’t apply to you. Learn the 3 steps To help your child catch up in school
Programs updated February 21, 2024 Click Here To Begin Tap And Help Your Child Get Above
Grade Level. You can offer smaller rewards for reaching a designated amount of points, and a big
reward once they have accomplished a larger goal (such as a good test score or the end of a quarter).
Meet the teacher and express your concerns and mutually decide on how to bring your child to the
grade level not worrying too much about numbers. Maybe they’re exhausted from their
responsibilities or need help fine-tuning their organization skills. I have created this page as an outlet
for my insanity. While our children will fight us tooth and nail on the smallest of requests, they are
often more likely to listen to someone closer to their age who they see as a role model. So, if you
supported their excuses for not doing homework until now, don’t make that mistake again. They
might work on their spelling words for 15 minutes, and then take a 5 minute break, for example.
However, with so many subjects, it often becomes a nightmare for students because they don’t know
where to start and when to end. I also want her to read 15 minutes a day and complete a vocab or
writing assignment. Schools are free to have their own policy on homework” adding that “there are
no Department circulars or guidelines regarding homework for primary school pupils”. You have
children sitting in front of you who might not have had a breakfast. I'm concerned that as GCSE
courses now start in Year Nine at her school, she'll need to raise her game this year. Parents should
find time at the weekends, again reinforcing a message that you're a family that takes homework
seriously. Discuss incentives with your child beforehand because the rewards can serve as motivation
for your student. This was my second grader's first year of regular homework... and he was not a fan.
As adults, we tend to take the habits of being independent and thoughtful for granted. But I
genuinely feel that most people would be agreeable.
So many parents get so bogged down in the homework issue that they forget about the most
important thing of all: the relationship. Making these rules will encourage your student to create
quality products. It takes my children 4 hours, and me 5 minutes... too much torture, not enough
payoff. They might work on their spelling words for 15 minutes, and then take a 5 minute break, for
example. Parents should tailor their approach to fit their child's personality. I would not advise
anyone to do this, because this year I discovered my child was ADHD and it was affecting his
learning abilities. Set aside the same time each afternoon or evening for them to do their work.
Maybe it’s the “My house my rules!” parent statement that you heard from your parents over and
over again, or maybe it’s how your parents never had any consistency with their rules growing up. In
fact, trusting in wordless intuition is the basis of faith. Or you might brainstorm with your youngster
to help her choose a topic for the big paper she has to write. Opting children out of homework is at
the parents’ discretion. I pounded those reconciliations like no other, along with the other deadlines
and tasks that had to be done. Some kids need a coach; others need a “monitor,” while others need
more hands-on guidance to complete tasks. I am sure teacher's heart softened, and she realized in
that touching moment that today was not the day to give an otherwise good kid a hard time. Some
kids need small breaks throughout a session, while others may need the task to be broken down into
smaller pieces and then varied. While it would be easier if all children were self-motivated students
who came home, sat down and dug into their homework, this just isn’t going to be the case with
most kids. It's a good idea to set a regular time and place for kids to do homework. Instead of me
bugging you, you're going to come up with a homework plan. Check with the teacher if you aren't
sure.) Does your youngster learn things best when she can see them. The Four Skills Kids Master in
Elementary School Homework. Rachael Sharman is a lecturer in psychology at the University of the
Sunshine Coast. This is a nightly occurrence and both the child and parent struggle with a solution.
Pausing gives you the ability to understand the problem. If you don’t have lots of free time to help,
you can certainly do so on an occasional or even one-time basis. One trip, when Mozart was 7 years
old lasted 3 years. Another good way to show your interest is to attend school activities, such as
parent-teacher meetings, shows, and sports events. Kids who are stressed about getting it done, and
parents who do their kids’ assignments for them.A recent essay in the The New York Times raises a
point about homework that’s rarely discussed, which is When your child gets a silly homework
assignment, do you ever help them with it -- or do it for them. To help, work with your child to set
goals she can meet and to come up with a mutually agreeable homework schedule. If you can connect
her with a high school or college-aged student who can meet with her weekly—in person or over
videoconferencing—that can often make an enormous difference in a child’s effort, attitude, and
willingness to work. Of course not everyone can or should take long trips.
While it would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down and
dug into their homework, this just isn’t going to be the case with most kids. Try to keep a level
minded approach when assessing your child’s grades and production. It’s possible that your
youngster doesn’t want to do his homework because he really needs help. Maybe it’s the “My house
my rules!” parent statement that you heard from your parents over and over again, or maybe it’s how
your parents never had any consistency with their rules growing up. Below are some highly effective
techniques you can start implementing that will gr. Homeschooling is about redefining education
anyway so personally I have. If your child doesn’t abide by the routine, implement consequences. By
addressing homework problems early, you prevent them from mushrooming. Assignment Expert, for
example, is an online homework help platform that you can use anytime, but you should make sure
that your child sticks to a specific schedule for the entire week. Her children are autistic and attend
mainstream school. Your child becomes a pro at time management which is the biggest problem of
the modern generation. Tara Foy says parents are made feel they’re “actually being a bad parent and
that you’re letting your child away with murder almost, because they’re not pulling their weight”. If
we become too much involved or stressed about kids’ homework, they learn to rely on you to remind
them of their responsibilities. I'm a single parent and I sometimes do my 9 year old son's homework
to save time. If I had to choose between one parenting style, I'd pick Asian. This may sound
premature, but pre-pandemic, I often took my fifth graders on a tour of a community college campus
and a local university. Other than telling my friends who do live there not to vote for this candidate
and donating to the opposing candidate, what do I do. The child becomes independent and
understands the value of time. Most schools invite moms and dads to come to parent-teacher
conferences or open houses. However, there are certain instances such as when you as a parent help
your kids with homework, make them fall behind in the class. To get your underachiever moving, you
need to be a cheerleader. Sometimes that's because their child struggles to focus outside of the
classroom; others might demand so much help that the parent ends up wondering who's being tested,
them or their child. You can offer smaller rewards for reaching a designated amount of points, and a
big reward once they have accomplished a larger goal (such as a good test score or the end of a
quarter). When you have a kid not doing homework you may be worried. Withholding it won’t get
the work done or help the relationship (the most important part). It will be a fun experience for them
and also learning gets done without much fuss. This isn’t only a physical outlet but also a sensory
one. Let your children know that you expect them to get the work done on time and to the best of
their abilities; the most important thing is that they try their best. When I was 8 years old, I was
invited to a birthday party after school. Another good way to show your interest is to attend school
activities, such as parent-teacher meetings, shows, and sports events.
When a child doesn’t get enough sleep, it can cause him to be sick more often, lose focus, and have
more emotional issues. We honestly believe that we can work through the problems. Outbursts, rages,
and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of life). Discuss incentives with your
child beforehand because the rewards can serve as motivation for your student. This may seem
contrary to the point above, but mental fatigue is different to physical fatigue. You won’t often hear
someone say to an adult, “do you know what you should do after a day’s work. And once the child is
bitten by this bug, the sky is the limit. Or you might brainstorm with your teen to help her choose a
topic for the big paper she has to write. Socially I’ve only made one friend who’s only in one of my
classes. You’re not doing the work for them, rather, you’re helping them get going so the task doesn’t
seem so daunting. Let’s say your youngster has a big test to study for, but can’t seem to get started.
The things that make you wonder how much longer you can hold on. They will go to extraordinary
lengths (even to their death) to protect the facade. For example, ask your youngster to read aloud a
story he wrote, or discuss the results of a science experiment. To get your underachiever moving, you
need to be a cheerleader. I know my 8 year old would prefer (and get more value from) reading a
book, doing a word search or playing maths games on the computer than writing out rote timetables.
Sometimes that's because their child struggles to focus outside of the classroom; others might
demand so much help that the parent ends up wondering who's being tested, them or their child. I’ve
tried many different approaches—given her freedom to do it at her schedule, taken away her screen
time, none of it works. It is their homework, and they should do most of it alone. Kids are expected
to do some difficult work, and your child may sincerely be struggling with it. Look into your heart
and love will teach you what to do. Do you run on a footy field looking for risk-taking opportunities
to genuinely test your mettle, or do you just go out to win. Still others experiment with alcohol,
tobacco or drugs. It makes her feel as if I am “always giving her work” when the reality is she could
knock it out in a few short sittings per week. If they forget to turn in the homework on time or forget
their books at school, you do not need to spend hours solving their math problems. I know it exists.
I'll never forget an experience I had during my freshman year in college. You end up fighting so
much.” Tara decided as the school year progressed that she wasn’t going to fight with her child any
more. I asked my mum, “Why don’t they just fly to the top?” From an eight-year-old such a
question isn’t too surprising, yet we see exactly this conundrum play out in adult circles. Doing
assignments for your youngster won't help him understand and use information. Set aside the same
time each afternoon or evening for them to do their work. You raise this doubt in your child’s mind
which shakes their confidence and questions their own capability.