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Internal Boundaries

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66 views7 pages

Internal Boundaries

Uploaded by

Omega Capricorni
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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WO R K B O O K

YOUR INTERNAL
BOUNDARIES
Internal boundaries involve regulating your relationship with yourself.

Think of them as self-discipline and healthy management of time,


thoughts, emotions, behavior, and impulses. Disordered internal
boundaries might show up as procrastination, not following through on
your word to yourself or others, an excess of negative self-talk, and not
taking good physical, emotional, spiritual or mental care of yourself.

Learning to manage negative thoughts and feelings empowers you, as


does the ability to
follow through on goals and commitments to yourself.

When you make a promise to yourself and don’t follow through (or are
otherwise unable to postpone instant gratification for your own personal
betterment), you’ve abandoned yourself.

Self-abandonment is one of the main symptoms of damaged or weak


internal boundaries. Your ability to make healthy choices is compromised.
If you abandon yourself consistently, you will always be three steps shy of
reaching the finish line of your goals.

When you have healthy internal boundaries, you can consistently rely on
yourself to do what you say you’re going to do.

You feel peaceful inside because you trust yourself enough to take care of
you.

In strengthening your internal boundaries, these moments of choice are


crucial. Will you do the same old thing, even though you know it won’t
get you the results you want? Or will you consciously choose new, more

© Copyright 2021 Terri Cole Page 2


self-affirming behavior? Keep your big picture in mind, focus on small
steps, and celebrate every time you choose the new behavior.

Choosing not to abandon yourself (or damage your relationships) not


only strengthens your internal boundaries but also builds your self-
esteem.

Top of Mind: Check Your Inner Voice


You Set The Bar

Who you draw into your life and how they treat you is influenced by how
you treat and regard yourself.

If you are your own worst critic or feel unworthy, you will inevitably draw
people into your life who will agree with your self-assessment.

At the other end of the spectrum, if you treat yourself with respect, love,
and high regard, others tend to as well.

People look to you to set the example of what you believe is acceptable
behavior. Remember: you reap what you sow!

Think about your inner dialogue and the things you say to yourself when
you’re frustrated or down. Would you say those things to your best friend
or little sister? I’m gonna guess, no.

Pay attention when you talk about yourself both to others and internally.
Are you positive or negative? Are you constantly putting yourself down or
are you kind and gentle?

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I invite you to take 48 hours and write down every time you talk about
yourself (internally or to others) negatively. This will give you a clear
snapshot of the way you’re treating yourself and help you to start to
practice being more mindful about your behavior.

Reflect on each negative self-talk phrase you wrote and ask the following
questions:
• Would a good friend say or think this about me?

• What would a loving pal say about me instead?

• What would I say to a friend who thought this about themselves?

Go Deeper: Keep Your Word to Yourself


Strong internal boundaries support your ability to keep your word,
postpone gratification, and make healthy choices that can lead to your
dreams list becoming your reality. It means having a certain level of self-
discipline with the ability to rely on yourself.

Are you frequently plagued with feelings of guilt, remorse, or worry


that you said or did the wrong thing in a given situation?

Do you have a loud “inner mean voice” endlessly making negative


comments and assessments of you?

Do you find it difficult to tap into your intuition?

Did one or both of your parental impactors or caregivers break


promises to you?

Did one or both of your parental impactors have big dreams that
never came to fruition?

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Do you make excuses for yourself?

Do you use language that is inaccurate? Do you say ten minutes but
mean an hour?

Do you overpromise?

Do you proclaim you will change unhealthy habits and fail to follow
through?

Are you easily swayed by someone else’s opinion, thoughts,


judgments, or criticism?

Are you indecisive?

Do you set goals only to abandon them within a few weeks?

Is it difficult for you to speak your truth if you know others will
disapprove or disagree?

For a deeper dive, please choose 3-4 of the above statements that
resonated the most with you to journal about.

Take Action: Set a Small Goal for Yourself


Choose something achievable that will make you feel good to have
completed from the self-care checklist.

Commit to doing your new activity for 7 days in a row. Keep it small but
be consistent.

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Examples:
• Listen to meditation each day

• Do a tapping routine every day

• Use the breathing app daily

• Start a gratitude journal and write what you are grateful for daily

Take some YOU time and enjoy doing this exercise. Remember - we are
all volunteers here - you don’t have to do this exercise or this course - you
GET TO!

IT’S AN HONOR AND A PRIVILEGE (AND PROBABLY A


CHANGE) FOR YOU TO POUR YOUR TIME AND POSITIVE
ATTENTION INTO YOURSELF! GET USED TO IT! 😁

© Copyright 2021 Terri Cole Page 6


Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and global
leading expert on boundaries.
For two decades, Terri has worked with some of the world’s most
well known personalities from international pop stars to Fortune
500 CEOs. Terri has a gift for making complex psychological
concepts accessible, and then actionable so that clients and
students achieve sustainable change i.e. true transformation. She
empowers over 250,000 people weekly through her blog, social
media platform, signature courses, Real Love Revolution™ and
Boundary Bootcamp™ + her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show.
She is also the author of Boundary Boss - The Essential Guide to
Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free (April 2021).

WWW.T ER R I CO L E .CO M

COPYRIGHT © 2021 TERRI COLE

terricole.com/terms-conditions terricole.com/website-disclaimer

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