Requires the use of the Dungeons & Dragons® Player’s Handbook

Athenaeum Arcane:
menu items

Introduction
Food. It’s something everyone needs
(well, unless you have a ring of suste-
nance.) Much of an adventurer’s life would ROLEPLAYING
revolve around making sure he has enough
food to eat, but how often do players give
NOTES
any thought to what their characters eat? In fine dining establishments, the
How often would one be able to eat trail presentation of the meal is as impor-
rations before she’s ready to spear the next tant as the meal itself. In a fantasy
person who mentions hardtack and salt world with magic available, spells
pork? such as prestidigitation, ray of frost
While every meal characters eat may and illusion spells can provide oppor-
not be a noteworthy event, here are twelve tunities for nicer restaurants to
feasts to spice up the description of any improve the quality of the meals.
mealtime encounter in a campaign. Perhaps Perhaps all of the servers are low-
the duke wishes to host a banquet in the level adepts, wizards, or even bards
PCs’ honor and the players want to know who can also entertain the diners with
what their characters are eating; or a myste- a soothing song.
rious wizard invites the PCs to a restaurant
to discuss a job and you describe a sumptu-
ous meal in luxurious surroundings; and I have also provided the GM with two
perhaps they’ll use that knowledge to wran- sample inns, one common and one fine.
gle a few extra coins out of their new Common eating establishments have a
patron. coarser clientele, a bit less personal service,
wooden or clay dinnerware, and cheaper
foods, but most are still neat, orderly
places. Finer eating establishments use real
glass and china dinnerware, offer more per-
ROLEPLAYING sonalized service, and may be able to
acquire items not on the regular menu.
NOTES
Several of the meals listed in this
PDF involve ingredients that adven-
SAMPLE COMMON
turers usually only find on the ends of INN
their swords. Some of the items listed The Cheerful Nymph is a common inn
could provide low-level adventurers that can host twenty diners at a time. Instead
with quests as chefs ask them to of individual tables, several larger tables with
retrieve—intact—the ingredients benches are available, and customers share
they need to prepare the meal. Killing the tables with other diners. The Cheerful
some of these creatures without Nymph employs one chef, Amanala [female
destroying the bodies can become an human, Exp3, 13 hp]; one apprentice cook,
adventure itself. Krurin [male halfling, Exp1, 6 hp]; three

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kitchen helpers: Merlon [male human, tains to provide privacy for the diners. The
Com1, 4 hp], Erlusk [male human, Com2, Golden Coin employs two chefs, Faelgus
6 hp], and Daela [female dwarf, Com1, 6 Damar [male elf, Exp4, 17 hp] and Klandra
hp]; a barkeep, Berrinn [male half-elf, Damar [female elf, Exp4, 17 hp]; two
Exp2, 9 hp]; and three servers: Ellanna apprentice chefs, Shalera [female human,
[female elf, Com1, 2 hp], Kahral [male elf, Exp1, 6 hp] and Kreth [male dwarf, Exp1,
Com1, 2 hp], and Maera [female human, 8 hp]; one scullery maid, Dara [female
Com2, 6 hp]. halfling, Com3, 9 hp]; a sorcerer, Oldre
[male half-elf, Sor6, 23 hp]; a barkeep,
SAMPLE FINE INN Elvashti [male gnome, Exp3, 19 hp]; and
four servers: Thaenna [female human,
The Golden Coin Inn is a fine eating Exp2, 9 hp], Golmar [male half-orc, Exp1,
establishment with tables for sixteen cus- 6 hp], Uldo [male dwarf, Exp1, 8 hp],
tomers. Each table is surrounded by silk cur- Eldolar [male elf, Exp1, 6 hp].

the menu items

Source: Talbos Mestan [male elf, Exp1, 4
ADVENTURER’S hp], a server at The Dancing Queen’s Lodge.
FARE Two hundred and six years old, he has white
blonde hair, green eyes, and fair skin. He usu-
Common Description: “We take one o’ ally looks quite bored, and he believes he’s
‘em ol’ bread pockets and fill it with shredded above the work he’s doing.
hard cheese, dried shredded beef, and dried
Value: 9 sp.
onions an’ ‘maters. Then we get you some o’
‘em druid goodyberries and put the whole
mess in a cheesecloth.” Special Notes: Each of these meals is the
Source: Nulekin [male human, Com1, 4 equivalent of one day’s trail rations. The
hp], a barkeeper/serving boy from The goodberries are only good for six days, so
Maimed Lute. Sixteen years old, he has brown buying this meal for more than six days does-
hair, blue eyes, and a tanned complexion. n’t give the PC any more goodberries. See the
When not serving customers, he can be found description for goodberry for details on the
trying to flirt with the younger female diners. spell.
Value: 7 sp.
BROILED
Fine Description: “Stone-ground wheat
bread pockets are filled with shredded cheese,
HUMMINGBIRD
spiced, smoked, and shredded beef, and sun- Common Description: “We’s broil
dried onions and tomatoes. We wrap the entire t’ree hummingbirds an’ serve da whole
meal in a waxed cheesecloth along with two t’ing wit’ a plate of buttered pasta an’ toma-
goodberries and a flask of fine bourbon. to slices. Ya gits dinner rolls and elven wine
Perfect for chilly mornings on the road.” wit’ da whole t’ing. Ya can axe for grog if
you wanna real drink.”

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Source: Guthtar [female half-orc, unmold your beast onto a bed of buttered
Com2, 8 hp], server/bouncer at The golden corn ‘coins.’ Ask for a basket of
Gypsy’s Den. She’s tall, overweight, and dinner rolls and a mug of our popular toma-
one of the ugliest creatures in town. to and jicama juice. For dessert we have
Value: 6 sp. yoghurt, a popular milk creation originally
from the western kingdoms. The dwarves
Fine Description: “Three tender hum- were the ones to discover the process to cre-
mingbirds that fed from only the sweetest ate this yoghurt.”
of flowers are broiled and served whole on Source: Nodebar [male dwarf, Exp1, 8
a plate of buttered pasta and fresh tomato hp], owner of Crystal Rock Tavern. He’s
slices. A creamy cheese sauce tops the always willing to share with anyone who
meal. Halfling cinnamon wine accompa- might be listening the history of his people,
nies the meal, and candied violets provides and all the magnificent inventions they’ve
a sweet ending.” uncovered. Whether any of his stories have
Source: Shump the Clean [male half- any basis in fact is debatable.
orc, Exp2, 11 hp], server at Urgard’s Value: 5 sp.
Tavern, an upper-class tavern that mostly
caters to the upper-class half-orcs of town. Special Notes: None.
Value: 1 gp.
DRUID’S DELIGHT
Special Notes: None. Common Description: “Killed this
one myself. Had to endure a dozen shriek-
DRAGON LOAF ers to get to it. Anyway, you get slivers of
Common Description: “No, it’s not violet fungus sautéed in butter then served
real dragon meat. Do we look stupid to on a salad of leafy vegetables. Toasted
you? We take ground beef or pork and mold whole wheat bread dipped in honey is
it into a dragon-shaped baking dish, bake it served on the side. The drink is a mug of
until it’s done, then unmold it and serve it chilled water with a lemon wedge. Not one
upright surrounded by a bed of corn. It animal was killed for the whole meal.”
comes with dinner rolls and ale or wine. So Source: Trendon [male elf, Drd2, 14
order already.” hp], a druid working off a fine at The
Source: Ithma [female dwarf, Com3, Friendly Sip for destroying a fur trader’s
15 hp], serving wench at The King’s goods. He’s a slender, pale elf, with amber
Bottom. She’s a surly middle-aged dwarf eyes and black hair. His animal companion
with graying brown hair that she wears in is an eagle named Gremlin.
several braids down her back. Value: 3 sp.
Value: 2 sp.
Fine Description: “Farm-raised violet
Fine Description: “Did I mention fungus is julienned and sautéed in lemon
dwarves invented this meal? We mold pep- butter until tender and served on a six-leaf
per-spiced ground beef or pork into a drag- salad drizzled with apple vinegar. Toasted
on-shaped baking mold and bake in a brick whole wheat bread dipped in safflower
oven until sizzling throughout. Then we honey is served on the side. Wash it all

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down with a flute of halfling clover wine or dressing and grilled until crisp, then coated
chilled water fresh from the Elemental with a tangy tomato sauce. A large bowl of
Plane of Water. For dessert, try a bowl of parsley dumpling soup rounds out the main
sugar-coated pecans. Can I get you started course. A frosty dwarven beer is the perfect
on that?” drink for your Eight-Legged Delight, and
Source: Flinadas [male gnome, Exp2, be sure to try our sticky sweet rolls for
13 hp], a server at The Graceful Lord. He’s dessert. Shall I sing you a ballad while you
good at his work, but he’s been known to enjoy your first course?”
disappear into the wine cellar for long peri- Source: Aldion Maplesun [male elf,
ods of time to sample the goods. Brd1, 6 hp] serves meals at The Mage’s
Value: 8 sp. Paradise, an establishment frequented by
the more adventurous sons and daughters of
Special Notes: Improperly cooked vio- nobles and aristocrats. Aldion is trying to
let fungi can poison the eater. In fine dining save money to become a traveling bard and
establishments, the chance is only 5% (a uses every opportunity to perform.
roll of 1 on a 1d20), but in less refined Value: 5 sp.
establishments, the chance can be as high as
25%. Poison (Ex): Fortitude DC 14, initial Special Notes: Five percent of Tiny
and secondary damage 1d4 Str and 1d4 monstrous spiders are still poisonous after
Con. cooking. Roll a 1d20 and on a roll of 1, the
PC is poisoned. Poison (Ex): Fortitude DC
EIGHT-LEGGED 10, initial and secondary damage 1d2 Str).

ENCHANTMENT FLASH-ROASTED
Common Description: “I think yer a
fool, but if you wanna try eatin’ critters, WYVERN STEAKS
these is s’posed to be the best. You get two Common Description: “They’re like
spiders the size o’ me bosoms stuffed with dragons only they’re not. I don’t know the
corn dressing, then grilled and served with difference, but all the adventurers who
a side of dumplin’ soup and a mug of ale or come in here want it. Anyway, it’s wyvern
grog. The ale’s best, but you pro’ly wanna meat flash-roasted with a fireball spell and
be drunk when you try them critters so go served with a side of mashed sweet pota-
for the grog.” toes, dandelion salad, buttermilk biscuits,
Source: Tala [female human, Com1, 4 and house ale. I like to put butter on my
hp], a barmaid at Fool’s Drum. She’s pret- sweet potatoes and Kensen puts honey and
ty but stupid, and her employers would cinnamon on his, but he also eats just about
have long gotten rid of her if she wasn’t anything, so I don’t recommend doing what
popular with the men. he does.”
Value: 3 sp. Source: Caledune Clayheart [male
dwarf, Com2, 10 hp] cooks, cleans, serves
Fine Description: “Oh, excellent! meals, and does just about any other job the
Those are a house favorite! Two juicy mon- owners of the Restful Dreams inn can
strous spiders are stuffed with sage corn dream up. He wears only green clothes and
is often called Greenie by his co-workers.

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Value: None as described; the cost of tell you what you’re gettin’. We slice the
hiring a wizard or sorcerer to cast a fireball good parts from a giant eagle and grind it
spell puts the meal out of the range of any into patties. Then it’s grilled and served
but the most expensive of restaurants. An with corn-on-the-cob, beans, and ale. Now
alternate version in which the steaks are remember, you’ll be arsed out if you say
grilled can be had for 10 gp. anything about this.”
Source: Tharall Dwarfwrecker [male
Fine Description: “An elegant meal half-orc, Ftr1, 15 hp] runs The Icy Raven,
for anyone with sophisticated tastes, we but only members of the local thieves’ guild
take aged wyvern steaks and marinate them are even aware of the pub’s existence.
in a blend of herbs and spices. Then they Access to The Icy Raven is through a sewer
are flash-roasted with a fireball spell to cre- entrance in the dock ward.
ate the juiciest and most tender steaks Value: 8 gp.
around. We serve the steaks with a side of
creamy sweet potatoes, dandelion salad Fine Description: “Only the breast
seasoned with our popular vinegar dressing, meat from giant eagles less than a year old
melt-in-your-mouth buttermilk biscuits, are used in this delicacy. We slice the meat
and strawberry wine. For dessert, we blend from the bone, ground it fine with our
together fresh cream, seasonal berries, and secret blend of spices, and grill the patties
honey and our house wizard frosts the con- over an open flame. Red pepper beans,
coction.” fresh corn hand-scraped from the cob, and
Source: Bradnie the Calm [female honey mead all complement the meal.
human, Wiz1, 5 hp] waits tables at The Enjoy slices of rare citrus fruits soaked in
Diamond Ring while apprenticing under elven brandy for dessert.”
the restaurant’s house wizard, Annudia Source: Tazi [female werewolf, War1,
[female human, Wiz6, 17 hp]. 20 hp] works in Jandeira’s Tavern, a place
Value: 160 gp. of business in the heart of a small city run
by evil wizards. Anarchy is almost the order
Special Notes: Most restaurants and of the day, so this meal is sold openly.
inns are limited to the number of times they Value: 12 gp.
can produce this meal in a day due to the
wizard’s or sorcerer’s spellcasting limit. Special Notes: Respectable civiliza-
tions find the killing and cooking of a giant
GRILLED GIANT eagle to be an abhorrent practice; it’s out-
lawed in most places, and no good-aligned
EAGLE person would knowingly eat giant eagle
Common Description: “Listen up, meat. Some cities have a standing bounty
mate. You tell anyone you’re eatin’ this on anyone who kills a giant eagle for any
food, and you and me is gonna have to go reason besides self-defense and any eating
‘round a few. Well, you, me an’ my mates establishment that serves such a meal will
over there. Anyway, if I got your word, I’ll be shut down and its owners arrested.

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KITTY OF THE SEA MERDECK’S

Common Description: “Ahoy, land-
lubbers! Come aboard and enjoy our bat-
MAGNIFICENT
tered and fried sea cat steaks. I’ll also bring MUTTON STEW
you a side of boiled shrimp, seaweed salad, Common Description: “Merdeck gave
and a glass of buttermilk straight from the me this recipe hisself when he came through.
galley. Man overboard!” That’s how you know you’re getting’ the best
Source: Kimos [male human, Exp1, 7 mutton stew around. Ours includes corn,
hp] wanted to be an actor, but none of the potatoes and onions in a beef stock, an’ it’s
local acting troupes would accept him. served with buttered black bread, a wedge of
Instead he practices his skills on the hapless cheddar cheese, and grog. Make the grog
customers of The Velvet Elf, the tavern myself, I do.”
where he serves food. His melodramatic Source: Gendrel Sweetclover [male
recitation of the menu provides laughs for halfling, Exp1, 6 hp] runs the Sweetclover
the tavern’s patrons, and he’s quite popular Tavern. He’s a balding halfling who dotes on
as an attraction. his wife, Falinia, and is known for his jovial
Value: 5 sp. nature, fine drinks and tall tales. Whether
he’s ever actually met Merdeck is anyone’s
Fine Description: “We coat thick guess.
slices of sea cat with a peppery buttermilk Value: 4 sp.
batter and fry it to a crisp, golden brown.
Enjoy your steaks dipped in shrimp gravy Fine Description: “Succulent mutton is
and with a side of seaweed and cabbage slow-roasted over open flame before sim-
salad. We recommend spicy rum from the mering in a thick stock with the freshest corn,
Urag goblin tribe to complement your meal. diced potatoes, and juicy baby onions. We
Unusual, yes, but the Urags make a spicy serve this fine meal with a side of fresh black
rum that must be tasted to be believed.” bread, cold butter, a wedge of aged cheddar
Source: Earnest Appleblade [male cheese, and Merdeck’s best house ale. For
halfling, Exp3, 13 hp] has long since for- dessert, enjoy fresh seasonal berries and clot-
gotten his real given name. His earnest way ted cream.”
of speaking earned him the nickname Source: Merdeck Bakerson [male
decades ago, and it stuck. Now he runs the human, Exp6, 24 hp] is probably the most
Earnest Eatery, a sedate restaurant with few famous chef around. His mutton stew is only
embellishments most popular with elderly one of many meals copied by inns and restau-
humans and halflings. rants around the kingdom, and lines to eat at
Value: 1 gp. his restaurant, The Gods’ Own Bounty, often
stretch down the street.
Special Notes: At poorer and cheaper Value: 8 sp.
establishments, the sea cat might actually
be shark meat or sea bass. Special Notes: At the poorest and cheap-
est establishments, unknown to the guests the
mutton might be replaced with horsemeat.

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with any success, but her dedication to the

PIT-ROASTED cause is unwavering.
DIRE BOAR Value: 5 sp.
Common Description: “Don’t know
what fool was crazy enough to chase the bug- Special Notes: An entire dire boar yields
ger down, but now we got all this meat. Took about 900 pounds of cooked meat, enough to
us a whole week to cook the damn thing. Yep, feed a village for a couple of days. Whenever
that’s right. We smoked a whole dire boar in a restaurant or inn comes into possession of a
this big pit we got outside. Just help yourself slaughtered dire boar, criers announce the
to a slice as big as you want, and I’ll bring fact around town in order to sell as much as
you some cabbage soup and fried potato possible before drying and storing the
wedges. You want dwarven beer or ale with remainder to sell as jerky.
that?”
Source: Henna [female human, Com1, SWAN’S SONG
4 hp] serves food at The Fuzzy Kitten. She Common Description: A whole swan is
has long red hair, an ample figure, and a no- de-feathered, slow-baked, and then the feath-
nonsense attitude toward her customers, fel- ers are carefully replaced so the swan looks
low co-workers and even her employers. alive. Sides include caviar-stuffed mush-
Despite her sometimes curt mannerisms, she rooms, cold cucumber salad, and fine elven
quite popular with everyone for her hard- wine.
working nature and general competence. Source: None.
Value: 3 sp. Value: None, the process requires too
much time and expertise for any but the finest
Fine Description: “We smoke a whole of dining establishments to undertake.
dire boar in our obsidian-lined cooking pit
with the best hickory chips. The dire boar is Fine Description: “A meal fit for a king
tended day and night by expert chefs until it and his entourage! Only the heartiest and
reaches tender perfection. You may slice your most discerning of appetites should attempt
meat straight from the bone yourself, or I to enjoy this meal alone. While you’re wait-
would be glad to find you the best portion. ing on the main course, enjoy an appetizer of
Vegetable soup filled with large chunks of caviar-stuffed mushrooms followed by a
carrots, celery, cabbage, onions, and turnips delicious cold cucumber soup spiced with
and fried potato wedges dipped in boar gravy dill and rosemary. For the main course we
rounds out the meal. Chilled sassafras tea or take farm-raised swans and carefully de-
the house’s best ale complement the meal feather them. Then they are slow-baked
perfectly.” whole in their own juices, and our master
Source: Shalarra [female human, Exp1, chef carefully re-inserts the feathers in the
7 hp] believes the best way to get away from cooked swan before presenting the concoc-
the drudgery of work is to be the best server tion to your table. Enjoy the meal with a bot-
around in the hopes of attracting the atten- tle of our finest elven wine. For dessert, our
tions of a high class customer who will marry specialty is a sweetened hot chocolate drink
her and provide her with plenty of jewelry, topped with fresh whipped cream. May I get
carriages, and houses. So far, she hasn’t met you started on your appetizer?”

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Source: Alant Sern [male human, Source: Robslyn [female gnome, Com2,
Exp2, 9 hp] serves food at the Nymph and 7 hp] runs an inn and tavern in a small gnome
Fairy, a restaurant where only the wealthi- village. The inn doesn’t have a name, so
est of townsfolk are allowed. Alant is in his everyone just calls it Robslyn’s Place.
mid-twenties and wanted to be an adventur- Value: 3 sp.
er, but the early death of his parents left him
in charge of his younger siblings. Now he’s Fine Description: “Crested owl eggs,
resentful of his job, but he hides it well discovered mere hours after being laid, are
from his customers. spiced with ten different peppers before
Value: 5 gp. being scrambled to a golden yellow. Hot pork
sausage links, buttered, twice-risen rolls, and
Special Notes: None. cinnamon-spiced mulled wine complement
the eggs.”
WISE CHOICE Source: Esser Nostis [male gnome,
Sor1, 4 hp] works for The Laughing Dragon,
Common Description: “These is better
a tavern known more for staying open twen-
than any chicken eggs. Our birdcatchers steal
ty-four hours a day than for its food. The
the eggs from crested owls and scramble
meals at The Laughing Dragon, while
them up with a side of pork sausage, buttered
unique, usually sound much better than they
rolls, and mulled wine. Oh, don’t worry.
taste.
These eggs don’t have no baby owls in
Value: 6 sp.
them.”

Special Notes: None.

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Open Game Content; (f) "Trademark" means work containing Open Game Content except as Athenaeum Arcane: Menu Items Copyright
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