CONTENTS

1. The First Testimony—Salvation and Calling Given on October 18, 1936

2. The Second Testimony—Given on October 20, 1936
3. The Third Testimony—Given on October 20, 1936
4. Appendix: A Letter from Brother Watchman Nee to the Compiler, March 10, 1950
PREFACE TO THE NEW EDITION

The following is a new edition of the original book Watchman Nee's Testimony. The old
edition that was first printed in 1974 was somewhat different from the original
manuscript. We have secured the original unedited Chinese copy of the manuscript of the
compiler, Brother K.H. Weigh, and have retranslated it into English. The result is the
following revised edition of the book.

INTRODUCTION

These three testimonies were given by Brother Watchman Nee in a co-workers' meeting
held at Kulangsu, an island off the southeastern coast of Fukien province, China, in
October 1936. As far as I know, this was the only occasion in his life on which he spoke
about his personal affairs in detail. Very seldom had he publicly related his own spiritual
experience, probably "lest anyone account of me something above what he sees me to be
or hears from me" (2 Cor. 12:6). The testimony which Paul gave in chapter twelve of 2
Corinthians was not publicly divulged until fourteen years later. I have often in the past
been thinking of publishing these three testimonies, but in order to share his outlook, I
have postponed until now—after the lapse of thirty-seven years. When he died in
mainland China on May 30, 1972, I decided to make these testimonies public. I believe
this is the right time. I hope that the readers will not pay attention to the person himself,
but will pay attention to the work of the Lord in him, and to his willingness in allowing
the Lord to perform His work. In this way, the glory of the Lord will be expressed through
him. As Paul said, "So that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you
in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ" (2 Thes. 1:12).

LOOKING TO GOD FOR

SUSTENANCE WHILE WORKING
To the best of my knowledge, Sister Dora Yu was the only preacher at that time who did
not receive a salary and who depended wholly upon God for her living. She was my
spiritual elder sister, and we knew each other very well. She had many friends, Chinese
and foreign, and the field of her work was very wide since she preached everywhere. But
my condition was just the opposite; few cared for me, so I found it rather difficult. Yet
when I looked to the Lord, He said to me, "If you cannot live by faith, you cannot work for
Me." I knew that I needed living work and living faith to serve a living God. When once I
found that there was only about ten dollars in my wallet, which before long would be fully
spent, I suddenly recalled the widow of Zarephath, who had only a handful of meal in the
barrel and a little oil in the cruse (1 Kings 17:12). There were not two handfuls of meal. I
did not know by what means God sustained her, but I knew He had the means.
In 1921 two co-workers and I went to a place in Fukien province to preach, intending to
go from there to another place. In my pocket were only four dollars, an insufficient
amount for three bus tickets. But, thank the Lord, a brother gave us three tickets.

Again, at Kulangsu, in the south of Fukien province, my money was stolen from my
pocket, so that I had no traveling expenses to return home. We were then staying in
someone's house and preached once a day in a small chapel. We finished and were ready
to leave. My two co-workers had money to return home, but mine had been stolen. (At
that time each of us was spending his own money.) They made the decision to leave on
the following day. When I heard this I was embarrassed, but I was not willing to borrow
money from them. That evening I prayed to God, beseeching Him to provide the needed
money for traveling expenses. Nobody knew this. That afternoon some people had come
to speak with me about the Word, but I was in no mood to do so. At that time the devil
came to tempt me and shake my faith, but I was firm in believing that God would not let
me down. I was then merely a youth, just embarking on serving the Lord by faith; I had
not yet learned the lesson of living by faith. I continued praying to God that evening,
thinking that perhaps I had done something wrong. The devil said, "You could ask the co-
workers to buy your ticket, then repay them when you reach the provincial capital." I did
not accept this suggestion and continued looking to God. When the time came for us to
leave, there was still no money in hand. I packed my luggage as usual and hired a
rickshaw. At that moment, I recalled the story of a brother who had no train ticket when
the train was about to leave, but at that very instant, God ordered someone to give him a
ticket. We were all ready and boarded the rickshaws, of which there were three. I took the
last one. When the rickshaw had been pulled about forty yards, an old man in a long gown
came from behind shouting, "Mr. Nee, please stop!" I ordered the rickshaw boy to halt.
After handing me a parcel of food as well as an envelope, the old man departed. I was then
so grateful for God's arrangement that my eyes were filled with tears. When I opened the
envelope, I found four dollars inside, just sufficient for a bus ticket. The devil kept
speaking to me, "Don't you see how dangerous it is?" I replied, "I was indeed a little
anxious about it, but it is by no means dangerous, for God has supplied my need in time."
After arriving in Amoy, another brother gave me a return ticket.

In 1923 Brother Weigh Kwang-hsi invited me to preach in Kien-ou in the north of Fukien province.
I had only about fifteen dollars in my pocket, one-third of the traveling expenses. I decided to leave
on Friday evening and continued my prayer on Wednesday and Thursday. The money, however,
did not come in. I prayed again Friday morning. Not only was no money forthcoming, but also I
had a feeling within that I should give five dollars to a certain co-worker. I recalled the Lord's
words: "Give, and it will be given to you." I had not been a money lover, but on that day I really
loved money and found it extremely difficult to give. I prayed to the Lord again, "O Lord, if You
really want me to give away five dollars, I will," but I was still rather unwilling inwardly. I was
deceived by Satan into thinking that after praying I would not have to give away the five dollars.
That was the only time in my life that I shed tears over money. Eventually, I obeyed the Lord and
gave the five dollars to that co-worker. After the money was given, I was filled with heavenly joy.
When the co-worker asked why I gave him the money, I said, "You need not ask; you will know
later."
Friday evening I prepared to begin my journey. I said to God, "Fifteen dollars was already
insufficient, and You wanted me to give away five dollars. Won't the sum be even more
inadequate? Now I don't know how to pray." I made up my mind to go first to Shui-Kow by steamer
and then to Kien-ou by a small wooden boat. I spent only a little for the journey to Shui-Kow. As
the steamer was about to arrive, I felt that if I would not pray according to my own concept, the
result would be much better. So I said to the Lord, "I do not know how to pray; please do it for
me." I added, "If You will not give me the money, please provide a boat for me with a little fare."
When I arrived in Shui-Kow, many boatmen came to solicit business. One asked only seven dollars
for my passage. This price was beyond expectation; the usual fare was several times more. I asked
the boatman why his price was so low, and he replied, "This boat is hired by the magistrate, but I
am allowed to take one passenger only for the space at the stern, so I do not care how much the
fare is. But you have to provide your own food." Originally, I had fifteen dollars in my pocket.
After giving five dollars to a co-worker and spending a few dimes for the journey by steamer,
seven dollars for the small wooden boat, and a dollar or so for food, there was still a dollar thirty
left when I reached Kien-ou. Thank the Lord! Praise Him that His ordering is always good.

After I completed my work at Kien-ou and was ready to return to Foochow, the problem arose
again: I did not have sufficient funds for traveling expenses to return. I had decided to leave on the
following Monday, so I continued praying until Saturday. This time I had a feeling of certainty in
my heart, recalling that before I left Foochow, God had asked me to give five dollars to a co-
worker, which I then begrudged giving. At that time I read Luke 6:38: "Give, and it will be given
to you," and I laid hold of this sentence. I said to God, "Since You have said this, I beseech You
to provide me with the necessary money for traveling expenses according to Your promise."

On Sunday evening a British pastor, Mr. Philips, a true brother, assuredly saved and loving the
Lord, asked Brother Weigh and me to dinner. At dinner Mr. Philips told me that he and his church
had received great help through my messages, and they offered to be responsible for my traveling
expenses both ways. I replied that there was already someone who had accepted this responsibility,
meaning God. Then he said, "When you get back to Foochow, I will give you The Dynamic of
Service written by Mr. Padget Wilkes, a gospel messenger greatly used by the Lord in Japan." I
soon felt that I had missed a great opportunity; what I needed then was money for traveling
expenses, not a book. I somewhat regretted that I had not accepted his offer. After dinner Brother
Weigh and I returned home together. I had refused Mr. Philips's offer for my traveling expenses
so that I might look solely to God for help; nevertheless, there was joy and peace in my heart.
Brother Weigh was unaware of my financial situation. I had a slight thought of borrowing money
from him for my expenses and then reimbursing him when I returned to Foochow, but God would
not allow me to divulge this matter to him. I was under full conviction that God in heaven is forever
dependable, and I wished to see how He was going to provide for me.

When I left the following day, I had only a few dollars in my pocket. Many brothers and sisters
came to see me off, and some carried my luggage. While walking I prayed, "Lord, surely You
wouldn't bring me here without taking me back." Halfway to the wharf, Mr. Philips sent someone
with a letter. The letter read, "Though someone else has assumed the responsibility for your
traveling expenses, I feel that I should have a share in your work here. Would it be possible for
me, an aged brother, to have such a share? Please be good enough to accept this small sum for this
purpose." After reading the letter, I felt I should accept the money, and I did. It was not only
sufficient for my return expenses to Foochow, but also for printing one issue of The Present
Testimony.

Upon my return to Foochow, the wife of the co-worker who received the five dollars said to me,
"I have the feeling that when you left you did not have enough money yourself. Why did you
suddenly give five dollars to my husband?" I then asked her what had occurred in connection with
the five dollars, and she replied, "We had only one dollar left in the house on Wednesday, and that
had been spent by Friday. On Friday we prayed all day. Afterwards my husband felt that he should
go for a walk, and then he met you, and you gave him five dollars. The five dollars lasted us
through five days; then God provided for us from another source." At this point she continued with
tears, "If you had not given us the five dollars on that day, we would have suffered hunger. It does
not matter that we suffer hunger, but what about God's promise?" Her testimony filled me with
joy. The Lord had worked through me to supply their need with the five dollars. The Word of the
Lord is indeed faithful: "Give, and it will be given to you."

This is the lesson I have learned in my life. I have now experienced that the less money I have in
my hand, the more God will give. This is a difficult path to follow. Many people may feel that they
are able to live the life of faith; but when the trial comes, they are in fear. Unless you can believe
in the real and living God, I do not advise you to take this path. I can bear testimony today that
God is the One who gives. To be sustained by means of ravens as Elijah was at his time is still
possible today. I am going to mention something to you which you may find difficult to believe.
It has been my experience that God's supply arrives when I have spent my last dollar. I have had
fourteen years of experience. In each experience God wanted to get the glory for Himself. God has
supplied all my needs and has not failed me once. Those who used to give do not do so now. There
is a constant change of offerers; one lot of people replaces another. All this does not matter, for
God in the highest is a living God. He never changes! I say this today for your benefit. I must say
this that you may go straight forward in the path of living a life of faith. There are ten to twenty
more cases like these that I have already related to you.

Concerning the matter of offering the Lord money, one ought to set aside a definite amount—a
tithe of your income or half of your income—and put it in the hand of God. From her natural being,
the widow who gave two half-farthings might have grudged doing so, but she was praised by the
Lord. We have to be an example for others; we need not fear, for God will not fail. We should
learn to love God, to believe Him, and to serve Him as is His due. We ought to thank Him and
praise Him because of His unspeakable grace! Amen.
 Looking to God for Sustenance
for the Publication Work
Some people would never enter a meeting place to listen to the gospel. For this reason, in 1922 I
began printing gospel tracts. The gospel must be delivered to them. After writing the tracts, I began
praying and asking for provision for the printing and distribution expenses. God said to me, "If
you wish Me to answer your prayer, you must first rid yourself of all hindrances." On the following
Sunday, I preached on the theme, "Removal of All Hindrances." At that very time many people
were criticizing the wife of one of my co-workers, who was a sister among us. After the meeting
she stood at the door. When I entered the meeting to deliver the message, I looked at her and
inwardly criticized her, considering others' criticism of her to be true. When I left the meeting hall
after delivering the message, I greeted her. Later, when I again supplicated God for printing
expenses, saying that I had removed all hindrances, God said to me, "What is the message which
you have delivered? You have criticized that sister; that is a hindrance to prayer, a hindrance which
you ought to deal with. You must go to her and confess your guilt." I replied, "It is not necessary
to confess to others sins that are in the mind." God answered, "Yes, that is right, but your condition
is different." Afterward, when I considered confessing to her and came face to face with the issue,
I hesitated five times. Even though I wished to do it, I was concerned that she, who had always
greatly admired me, would then despise me. I said to God, "If You order me to do anything else, I
will do it, but I am unwilling to confess to her." I continued to ask God for the printing expenses,
but He would not listen to my reasoning. Rather, He insisted on my confessing. The sixth time,
through the Lord's grace, I confessed to her. With tears we both confessed our faults and then
forgave each other. We were filled with joy and thereafter loved each other all the more in the
Lord.

Shortly after this, the postman delivered a letter containing fifteen U.S. dollars. The letter read, "I
like to distribute gospel tracts and feel constrained to assist you in the matter of printing gospel
tracts. Please accept my gift." As soon as all hindrances were removed, God answered my prayer.
Thank the Lord! This was my first experience of God's answering my prayer in the matter of
printing. We were then handing out more than a thousand tracts daily. Two or three million copies
were printed and distributed annually to supply the churches in various places. In the few years
after the publication work was begun, God always answered my prayers and supplied all our needs.

The Lord also wanted me to publish the magazine The Present Testimony and to give it out free
of charge. At that time all spiritual periodicals throughout China were for sale; only what I
published was free. The editing room where I wrote the manuscripts was a small cubicle. When
the manuscripts were completed, they were sent to the press. When there were no funds available,
I would pray to God for His provision for printing. When I considered what I was doing, I laughed
because the manuscripts were being sent to the press without the necessary funds. As long as I
live, I will never forget the time when I had no sooner finished laughing than there was a knock at
the door. Upon opening the door, I saw a middle-aged woman who constantly came to the meetings
but to whom my heart was unusually cool. She was wealthy, but she loved money and treated a
dime as a dollar. I wondered how she could possibly be the one who would give money for printing
the magazine. Then I asked her why she had come. She replied, "About an hour ago I began feeling
inwardly uneasy. When I prayed to God, He told me that I am not like a Christian, for I have never
done well in the matter of offering, and that I love money too much. I asked Him what He wanted
me to do, and He said, 'You should offer some money for the use of My work.'" Then she took out
thirty silver dollars and placed them on the table, saying, "Spend it on whatever you feel the need
is." Then as I looked at the table, I saw two things, the manuscripts and the money. I thanked the
Lord without thanking her. She left, and I went immediately to the printers to negotiate the printing.
The money she had given was sufficient to print fourteen hundred copies of the magazine. Others
gave money for the packing expenses and postage. Now about seven thousand copies of each issue
are being printed. All the finances required are provided by God at the right time and in the way I
have been relating. I have never solicited contributions from anyone. At times people have even
begged me to accept money. In all of these matters I have been looking solely to Him.

ACCEPTING MONEY ON CHRIST'S BEHALF

If one fails in dealing properly with monetary matters, he will also certainly fail in many other
things. We must single-mindedly look to God and never do anything which will bring disgrace to
the Lord. When people give us money, we accept it on behalf of Christ, and we must never ask
people for any favors. Thanks be to God that after I told my parents I was not going to spend their
money any longer, I was still able to study at school for two more years. Though I did not know
where the sustenance came from, whenever there was a need, God certainly provided. Sometimes
the situation looked really difficult, yet God never let me down. We often place our hope in other
people, but God does not want us to look to others. We should learn a lesson: spend as we receive,
and never be like the Dead Sea, with inlets but without a single outlet. We ought to be like the
river Jordan, with inlets on the one side and outlets on the other. The Levites in the Old Testament
were those who devoted themselves to serving God, and they too had to offer their tithes.

APPENDIX
A LETTER
FROM BROTHER WATCHMAN NEE
TO THE COMPILER
MARCH 10, 1950
Dear Brother Weigh,

I have long been thinking of writing to you, but I have put it off lest my thoughts were not
sufficiently mature to do so. However, I think it is now the opportune time. I hope you will humbly
place this before God.

I am afraid the difficulties of the churches in Hong Kong and Canton will be rather enormous,
namely (a) among co-workers and (b) in the church. I hope what I am going to say below will,
through the grace of the Lord, help towards changing the situation there.

(1)Those who are leaders ought to learn to love others, to think on their behalf, to take care of
them, to deny oneself for their sake, and to give them all one has. If one cannot deny himself on
account of others, it would be impossible to guide people along the spiritual path. Learn to give
others what you have even if you feel as if you have nothing. Then the Lord will start pouring
down His blessing.
(2)The inner strength of a worker should measure up to the outward work. There should not be
any overstrain, overreaching, uneasiness, scantiness, tension, lack of overflowing, human plans,
or going ahead of the Lord. All these are undesirable conditions. If one is inwardly abundant,
whatever is emanating from him is like the flowing of a stream, and there is no overstrain on his
part. You must really be a spiritual man; you should not merely act like one.

(3)Learn to listen to others in connection with your work. The teaching in Acts 15 is to listen, that
is, to listen to the views of all brothers because the Holy Spirit may speak through them. Be very
careful lest in refusing to listen to the voice of the brothers you may not hear the voice of the Holy
Spirit. All the co-workers and elders ought to sit down to listen to them. Give them unrestricted
chances to speak. Be gentle, be broken, and be prepared to listen.

(4)The difficulty with many people is their being unbroken. They may have heard about being
"broken," but its significance eludes them. If one is broken, he will not attempt to arrive at his own
decision regarding business matters or teaching, will not claim to understand people or to be
capable of doing things, will not venture to assume authority or to impose his own authority upon
others, and will not take the liberty to criticize brothers or to deal with them presumptuously. A
brother who is broken will not try to defend himself, and there is nothing he needs to look back to.

(5)There should be no tension in meetings or in the church. Regarding church business, learn not
to do too much yourself. Distribute the business among others and make them learn to use their
own discretion in making decisions. You should first brief them on the fundamental principles to
follow and ascertain afterwards whether they have acted accordingly. It is wrong to do too much
personally. Avoid showing yourself in excess in meetings, otherwise the brothers may feel that
you are monopolizing. Learn to place trust in the brothers and divide it among them.

(6)The Spirit of God cannot be coerced in the church. You have to be submissive to Him;
otherwise, once He stops anointing, the church will feel tired or possibly even bored. If your spirit
is strong, it will sweep over and overwhelm the audience within ten minutes; if it is weak, even
shouting some threatening words and spending a longer time will not help and may even be
harmful.

(7)In delivering a message, do not make it too long or too elaborate; otherwise, the spirit of the
saints may tend to feel bored. Do not include superficial thoughts or base statements in the contents
of your message; avoid childish examples as well as those reasons which are so common that
people will consider them childish. Learn to finish delivering the essence within half an hour. Do
not think that, when you yourself enjoy your message, the words are necessarily those of God.

(8)The temptation often encountered at a prayer meeting is to deliver a message or to speak at

length. A prayer meeting should be devoted to praying; too much talking will make the conscience
feel heavy with the result that the meeting becomes a failure.

(9)The work at Kuling, Fukien, in 1948 was an exceptional case. Workers should learn a lot before
getting into a position where they deal with problems or persons. With inadequate learning,
insufficient knowledge, incomplete brokenness, and unreliable judgment, one will be incompetent
to deal with others. Do not jump to conclusions; even when one is about to do something, he should
do it in fear and trembling. Do not treat spiritual matters lightly. Learn in the heart.

(10)Learn not to trust your own judgments only. What is considered right may not be so; what is
regarded wrong may not be wrong. If one is determined to learn humbly, it will take at least a few
years to complete. Therefore, for the present, you ought not to have too much confidence in
yourself or be too definite about your way of thinking.

(11)It would be a dangerous thing for people in the church to follow your decisions before you
reach the state of maturity. The Lord will work on you to deal with your thoughts and to break you
before you can understand the will of God and thus be His authority. Authority is based on the
knowledge of the Lord's will. Where the Lord's will and purpose are not manifest, there is no
authority.

(12)The capacity of a servant of God should be constantly expanded by Him. I think He is now
doing it; you need not look inward, since this will make you disheartened. God may wish you to
assume the responsibility of leadership. As to the work in Hong Kong, it is possible that some
brothers will feel led to join it. I think we ought to have rest in the matter.

Yours in the Lord,

Nee To-sheng (Watchman Nee)