LIFE AT I8

LIFE AT 18
A compilation of 7 teenagers experiences

No part of this book be reproduced or transmitted in any form

or medium without the permission or prior written consent of the
publisher.

For more information, contact:

Rachael Oderinde
[email protected]

Cover design by Adelaja Marvellous

Book editing by Ogunleye Deborah
Book formatting by Oyenike Oyekola

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DEDICATION
This piece of work is dedicated to all the young people out there who are seeking to find
their path with God. May it inspire you to seek God's will for your life, and follow His plan
for you with joy and hope. May it be a source of wisdom and comfort, and may it lead you
to a life of love, service, and devotion to Christ. May it be a blessing to you in your journey
of faith and may it bring you peace, courage, wisdom, joy, and strength.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. Foreward Page 4
2. Introduction Page 6
3. Meet the authors Page 7
4. My greatest advantage Page 13
5. Low self-esteem Page 17
6. Struggles with parents Page 20
7. Uniqueness of your journey Page 24
8. The unfixable: broken and can't be fixed Page 27
9. Relationship among teenagers Page 33
10. Academics Page 42
11. Fashion and exposure Page 52
12. Finances of teenagers Page 59
13. Skill acquisition Page 67
14. Mentorship by the spirit Page 74
15. Appreciation Page 89

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FOREWORD
It's not every day that you get to witness your child make a meaningful contribution to the
world. But that's exactly what my daughter and her fellow teenage authors have done with
this incredible book.

As a father, there are few things that bring me more joy than seeing my daughter pursue
her passions and achieve her goals. So when she approached me with the idea of
collaborating with her peers to write a book, I couldn't have been more proud.

I've watched my daughter grow and mature into a remarkable young woman, navigating the
challenges and triumphs of her teenage years with grace and resilience. And through this
book, she and her co-authors have opened up a window into the complex and often
misunderstood world of adolescence.

In these pages, you'll find honest and authentic reflections on the experiences that shape
our teenage years, from first love and heartbreak to the pressures of academic and social
expectations. These young writers have bared their souls, sharing their fears, hopes, and
dreams with a vulnerability that is both courageous and inspiring.

As I read through their stories, I am struck by the depth of their insights and the richness
of their perspectives. They have captured the nuances and complexities of this pivotal
period in life in a way that only those who have lived it can.

I am so proud of my daughter and her co-authors for having the courage to share their
experiences with the world. I know that their words will resonate with readers of all ages,
and that their voices will serve as a powerful reminder of the beauty and potential of youth.

So, to my daughter and her fellow writers, I say thank you for having the courage to speak
your truth and for reminding us all of the power of youth to shape our world. This book is a
testament to your talent, your resilience, and your unwavering spirit, and I am honored to
call myself your father.

Through this book, these remarkable young writers have captured the essence of their
generation's hopes, fears, and dreams, exploring a wide range of topics that are both timely
and timeless. They've shown that even in the face of unprecedented challenges, our youth
have the creativity, resilience, and vision to inspire us all.

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As I turn the pages of this book and read the words of these talented teenagers, I am filled
with a sense of hope and optimism for the future. I am grateful to have had a front-row seat
to this remarkable journey, and I am honored to be able to share their work with you.

So sit back, relax, and prepare to be inspired by the next generation of writers, whose
voices are sure to shape our world in ways we can only imagine.

Pastor Oderinde A.A

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INTRODUCTION
A teen's life is a rollercoaster of ups and downs. It's a period of life where we face peer
pressure and puberty (a time our bodies and moods seem to change by the minute).

The teenage years are a period of rapid social learning and identity development.(discovery)
It's a time to discover God and yourself. A time to be unafraid to make mistakes,try new
things and embrace failure as a learning opportunity.

This is the time to surround yourself with quality friends. Your friends influence your
behavior. If you choose kind and motivated friends, chances are you'll become more kind
and motivated,too. This is the time to find the people who care about you and build
friendships that can last a lifetime.

In this book we have some teenagers share their views and experiences in some areas of life
like relationships, academics, finance, fashion and some other life facets.

This compilation of teenagers’ experiences to create awareness of common emotions and

the seasons we pass through in our teenagehood. Learn from the life experiences of
fellow teenagers and discover ways to be a better you.

We hope that this book gives hope, knowledge and a push to anyone who might need it.

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SECTION ONE:
THE
CHRONICLES
OF RACHAEL

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MY GREATEST
ADVANTAGE
~ RACHAEL ODERINDE ~

As a child, I had early exposure to the internet and that contributed to my rapid
development mentally and socially.
I know African parents have reservations about giving phones at an early age. They can't be
blamed, considering the fact the internet can negatively affect teenagers. Risks of early
exposure to the internet include exposure to inappropriate content, addiction and
unhealthy competition. Also, during their time they didn't own a phone till they were full
grown adults. Not like our time, we have access to phones right from birth. You will agree
with me that we grew up seeing gadgets around. We have been familiar with phones and
the internet before we fully owned one. I am one of the few luckiest kids that owned a
phone quite early in an African home. My first phone was from one of my ‘big mummies’.
I'm not sure she can remember giving me the phone. It was a ‘tonosobe’ phone
(if you don't get it, forget about it). The phone had no camera and no internet access. It was
mainly for calls and had some mini games. I used that from primary 4 to JSS 1. My JSS1 was
the first time I got a new brand phone (not the one that has been used for years before
being passed on to the next person). You can imagine the happiness. As at then, 2go was
the reigning social media app. My first experience of social media was on 2go. I had several
of my classmates and seniors on it.
I was very aware of the existence of other social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram
and WhatsApp. I had access to them through my mum's phone.
We are going somewhere with this story. I joined Facebook (opening a personal account in
my name) when I was in Jss3.
My level of exposure today can be attributed to the early access I heard to the internet.
Facebook was the game changer for me. I saw great minds and
personalities effectively using the internet to their advantage. The experiences and
exposure led to another view of life. It aided my mental development and gave me early
foresight to doing great things. The kind of exposure I had (a positive one) through
Facebook is something I will remain grateful for. I learnt intentional living, spiritual lessons
and networking. It is so sad that the majority of teenagers are leveraging the internet to
doing the negative things. There are so much opportunities, resources and tools on the
internet that you can channel to your developing.

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Exposure to media is not always bad. Media at large can have a positive impact on teenage
behavior and attitudes.

• It could be a source of inspiration: I have been so much inspired by stories of great men
and women. I've been driven to continually be better as a result of stories and
documentaries. Online documentaries, movies, inspirational stories on the internet, print,
and broadcast media can be a source of inspiration for you. For instance, you could watch
real life-based movies such as Steve Jobs and Chaplin to get inspired in life.

• It helps develop social skills: Some teens and tweens are introverted, like myself. For me,
social media is a free environment where I can interact without much hesitation. Teenagers
have the chance to interact with their peers and perhaps to make new friends in a safe way
too. Social media can help teenagers who might struggle to communicate offline to develop
their social skills in a space where they can have more time to think about their actions and
find people who share their interests.

• Social media can be an excellent resource for educating teenagers: Social media and the
internet in general still offer a useful way to educate young people. We can learn new
things through articles shared on social media networks, or perhaps by watching videos on
YouTube and elsewhere. YouTube and Google do it for me.

• The Internet can also help a teenager build skills and knowledge: This is because there
is unlimited access to online courses and tutorials that will help improve skills. I learnt
product design and HTML (tech) through the internet. I also learnt skills like copywriting
and content creation through the internet. If I can, you too can do so.

However we must tread cautiously on social media and the internet. There are risks of
coming across or accidentally encounter material that we might disgusting or
uncomfortable like
• pornography or sexually explicit content in music videos, movies or online games
• fake news that seems believable
• sites about drug use, self-harm, suicide or negative body image.
• coming into contact with adults posing as children online, strangers who persuade
teenagers to meet them in real life, and online scammers.
The choice is yours on what you decide to do with your access to a power tool Internet &
Social Media.
Apart from the internet and social there is one other factor that has helped in bringing me
to a place of progress and development.

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THE GOD FACTOR

I grew up in church literally. My childhood Sundays were quite different from a normal kid.
Mondays to Fridays were for school, which required me to be awake by 5am so as to get
ready. Then Sunday mornings, which were supposed to be one of those few mornings of
prolonged sleep, would be like my Mondays to Fridays. My mum would wake me as early as
4:30 am to dress up and not make my parents late for workers meeting. Getting to church, I
would try redeeming my sleep by sleeping in the car. Sunday school was compulsory for
me. On the average, I was a good child that knew the ten commandments of God, some
bible verses and a few bible stories. With no encounter of God, I had the image of God as an
old man with full grey hairs and deep eyes. Everything changed when I received the life of
Christ in 2014. I was a primary 4 student. As little as I was then, I had an overwhelming
peace and joy that I had never experienced. I found pleasure in reading the bible (Psalms
especially) and in worship. You can be in church and not know God. If you haven't
confessed with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord, He died,
resurrected and ascended, then you are not yet a child of God.
Entering secondary school, things changed. I was carried away by a new phase of my life. I
went back to a Sunday-Sunday child of God; the one who remembers God only on Sundays,
who carries the bible on Sundays alone. Not until JSS2, when a friend of mine invited me to
a program where I met my first love again. The beautiful thing is that this experience came
with a package, The Holy Spirit. I got baptized in the Holy Spirit 2017.
Things changed for the better when the Holy Spirit came. He became a friend to the
introverted me. He showed me ways and patterns of life. I became knowledgeable. Most
importantly, spiritual things came alive to me. Let's do some back stories…
I started my pursuit of a relationship with God on a rough road, reading the bible was not
an easy thing (I could barely understand what I read), praying was one of the hardest to do.
But my passion to seek and find God kept me going.
Those times, I would read a chapter of the bible (even though I had no idea of what the
scriptures meant). At times, I would open my bible and whatever page came up is what I
believed what God wanted me to read. I'm sure we've all been there.
As for praying, I would set the timer for 10 minutes. At least so I could brag of praying for
ten minutes (a whole ten minutes if e easy do am). Curious about what my prayer points
were? Well, I will thank God, mentioning every one of my family members' names. By the
time I mention everyone's name, 5 minutes is gone. Then the remaining 5 minutes will be to
pray for blessings; bless my father, bless my mother, promote them, let me pass my exams
in flying colors and be a best student. Funny right? That was the situation of things before
the personality of the Holy Spirit came into my life.
The Holy Spirit changed me for good. My character got refined, although I'm still a work in
progress.

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Knowing God early opened me up to several realities of life. My mind was expanded, it
came with blessings of my mind (soul), body and spirit. Every other area of my life is a
shadow of my relationship with God. It made life easier. There is nothing I don't have or is a
disadvantage to me because I've met God, I found Him and I know Him (still getting to know
Him). What is your greatest desire on earth? God has it all. Are you tired of the troubles of
life? Do you have a void nothing seems to fill? Then you need to meet this amazing Being.
His love is overwhelming and He has provided all I could ever need or want.
I’ve enjoyed instructions, favour, healings and many more blessings since I met God.
If you've not met God, I want you to desire to seek and find Him. If His things don't make
sense to you yet, don't give up. If praying is hard, keep praying. If reading the bible is
tedious and tiring, don't stop. One day you will see the light at the end of the tunnel and it
will all make sense.

How knowing God at an early age is an advantage to me.

• I have a clear sense of my identity. Knowing God helps with a better understanding of
your identity. Before we can appreciate who we are, we need to know who made us and
why we are here on the earth. Therefore the more we learn about God, the more we will be
able to learn about ourselves. When you find and know God, you will find YOU.

• I have a sense of my purpose. Every one was made for a purpose. How best can you find
this purpose? The best way to find this purpose is to get to know the one who made you
and knows the reason He created you. Your relationship with God will help you discover
your purpose.

• I am not living a wasteful life. I’m living to make full use of the greatness and the glory of
the grace of God in Jesus and to profit the Kingdom of God. It is being under the control of
the Holy Spirit power not your own.

• I am living in God's will. When you're open to following God's will, you'll discover a
renewed zest for life. Your priorities will be more in line with God's, and you'll trust Him to
work everything in your life together for your good, just like He says He will.

God is not far, He is near you and you can find Him. All you just need is to have a genuine
desire and passion, seek Him and I am so sure you will find Him.
God's love is available for all and that includes YOU.

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LOW SELF-ESTEEM
~ ODERINDE RACHAEL ~

I definitely have a story to tell when it comes to low self esteem.

‘Low self-esteem is a lack of inner worth that is driven by a set of beliefs that you’re no
good, feeling of insignificance, or believe you have nothing of value.’ Cheryl A. Clarke.
You can have low self-confidence for many reasons, like:

• expectations from parents and guardian as a child

• peer pressure from friends or loved ones
• relationships, including breakups
• unresolved trauma
• loneliness
• internalized shame
• certain health conditions
• brain functioning and development
• other societal and cultural messages

As a child, I knew nothing. I happily lived my life until adolescence and puberty came. I
started to pay extra attention to people's words, thoughts and perspectives about me.
Words that meant nothing before, now meant a lot, found root and started to bear fruit of
shyness. Perhaps you don't know, I'm physically tall as a teenager I'm currently 6.0ft. I am
dark incomplexion, the type people call ‘blackie’ or ebony (although, I still see people of
darker skin colour than me) 3 major things brought me low self esteem: my skin color, my
height and weight.
My low self esteem was from people’s insensitive comments. Comments like ‘you are so
black oo’ (black as pot or kettle notdark), ‘where are you growing to?’ (in terms of heights)
It's only better to imagine someone telling you that you will soon be as tall as an electric
pole (Can you wish your own child to be as tall as a pole? Will you wait if you see such a
person?)
You are skinny (but in Yoruba, the insult is very grievous ‘otigbe ju’, ‘sissy pankere’).
This could mean nothing to you, but for those who have experienced it, they will perfectly
understand the pain such words cause. You can't even get into an argument because your
opponent has a point to target.
Surprisingly, when people make this comment, there is this particular smile that's always
on my face (iro ni o, which means ‘it’s a lie’). When I'm alone (after getting home) I have

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enough time to process it and there comes out a differententity. One who focused on the
derogatory words of men rather than the perfect image of God.
Tobe candid, I was lost in the abyss of insecurity. I lost myself and there became an
introvert. I became shy, hated being in spotlight and avoided people's attention. In school, I
hated being called to answer questions or stand in front of the assembly. I hated going out,
I avoided crowded places, and wrongly believed everyone was better than me. I desired to
get out of the pit of low self esteem. I tried so many things and my main sources were
YouTube and Google.
I tried exercises that could add flesh or perhaps make me appear better, tried eating
certain food, and inculcated certain routines that could make me gain weight.
At that point there was nothing I could do to my height, except I adopt a posture that
would make me appear shorter. I knew outright that was a bad idea (imagine the bent
posture of a tall person trying to appear shorter). As for my skin colour, I knew my family
would never support skin toning, not to mention bleaching (don't blame me, my mentality
then was that people with fair and light complexion are more beautiful than their darker
counterparts).
I got to a point where I literally compared myself with any living being I came across,
including animals like cats and goats.
What's your story? Is it as bad as mine or not as bad as mine? Is it worse than mine?
Perhaps you think you have no experience of low self-esteem, but it isn’t always obvious.
Feelings of unworthiness, having a poor self-image, comparing yourself to others, avoiding
self-expression and many others are major signs of how low self esteem has crept in.
You have not read this by mistake. Light has come. Say with me, ‘Revelation has come!
I know who I am! I know my identity! I will not have identity crisis!

Have I found myself? Well, yes I already have. I am in a better place now and I hope you get
to a better place too. How? That’s why I wrote about this chapter of my life, so you can be
aware, learn and be of help to others going through this.
Back then, I was tired of always hiding and constantly shying away from the public eyes. I
went online, read a lot of articles, watched videos in relation to introverts, shyness and
getting confident. I won't say I’m perfect, but I've left that path and I'm building myself
daily. My intentionality brought me here. Perhaps you should ask yourself, ‘Am I really tired
of my low self-esteem?’ ‘Will I give it all it takes to find myself? In the remaining words of
this chapter I will be dropping few things that have helped and can help you too.
Firstly, recognize that you are God's replicated image. You need to let that ring in your
mind every second. You can make it a chant in your mind and a quote pasted on places
where they can easily be seen. You are not who people say; you are who God says you are.
Can God create something bad and call it His image or likeness? Bible records God saying
come let us make man in our likeness. Your creation has the involvement of the trinity;
every other thing came into existence just by God speaking. And now, you look at the

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masterpiece God made and call it trash (stopeeett). Perhaps you are confident of your body
but you take pleasure in body shaming others, insulting them by their looks, you say their
nose is that of this and that, stoppeeet. You have no idea how impactful the comments you
make recklessly is to people. Don't push people to feel bad about how they look.
These are common bad habits we find in this age. It stops with you and I. Don't join in
making such comments and you must know it's your responsibility to keep your space
healthy. You need to know the root cause of these feelings. It might be the shape of your
nose or the size of your eye balls or skin type. Whatever might be the cause; you identify
and heal by coming in terms with yourself that you are beautiful and okay with it, you are
unique and God's masterpiece. After recognizing, you have to rebuild that image by
consciously renewing your mind (I used God's words, especially where He says I’m created
in God's image, beautifully and wonderfully made). You can use quotes that boost self
confidence and addresses low self esteem. We have the internet, leverage on it. Make those
words your watch words.
You can adapt the mirror mechanism. It has helped me and is still a great help. I admire my
body and say beautiful words while I look at my self in the mirror. Pay attention to those
things that you feel bad about, admire them while looking at the mirror.

Build Positive Relationships. You don't want to be with people calling those things out for
you. You don't want to be with those that feel good by body shaming you or people that
make you feel less confident in yourself. You should surround yourself with people who
have good sight and that can constantly remind you about your uniqueness.

Be kind to yourself. Try accepting yourself and work toward positive change. Learn more
about yourself, including what you enjoy, and accept your flaws and imperfections.

Don't be too hard on yourself. The change won't come overnights. Know your body type
and dress confidently. If your low self-esteem is related to your body, I would advise you
make use of what suites your body, go online and look for tips concerning this subject, do
what looks good and is healthy for you.

Be content with yourself. See the best in yourself

This subject is a broad one, but I have covered it in relation to my experience and hope you
find it useful.

Remember, there is nothing new under the sun. There's someone that has gone through
that which you are currently experiencing, so YOU ARE NOT ALONE and I hope you find
help in God and people. You need to see that God in you makes you a god.

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STRUGGLES WITH
PARENTS
~ ODERINDE RACHAEL ~

I love my parents much, more than you can imagine but we never had a rosy journey during
my adolescence. Right from the start I have always been a good child, not troublesomeor
naughty. I am that perfect child they say you will want. I loved chores and running errands
for people, I adored babies and I was very respectful in and out of the house. Adolescence
came and it seemed the case was a bit different. Struggles began; struggles to run every
errand I'm sent because I saw no reason the ones who sent me couldn’t go themselves,
struggles to be respectful even though I had nine hundred and ninety-nine reasons not to.
I'm sure you can relate.
If anyone says that they have never had conflict with their parent, they’re probably lying.
Even the calmest, best-behaved, kindest and happiest kids have conflicts with their
parents. It made me remember the words of Brother Samuel who was once my lesson
teacher. He said there was a time he struggled with running errands for his mother. He
made the decision not to give into these feelings and he overcame those feelings because of
his will.’ Yes, these emotions are there but you have the will to not let these emotions ride
you. They talk at you and you want to talk back. They scream at you and you feel that rush
to scream back. It seems you don't even want to be corrected. I perfectly understand those
feelings but the words of Brother Samuel are always in my head. Of course, there were
times I gave in to these emotions and I am writing this chapter just to let you know you are
not alone and it's normal. It's normal but not okay. I will like to establish that adolescence is
a time when independence and parental influence clash, since teens are able to think on
their own but still live with parents who have rules and expectations for them. Clashes are
very common between teens and parents. Teens get angry because they feel parents don't
respect them and aren't giving them space to do what they like, and parents get angry
because they aren't used to not being in control or they disagree with the teens' decisions.
It’s like they just don't see your point of view and never will. I get they have our best
interest at heart. But talking and expressing your opinions can help you gain more respect
from your parents, and you may be able to reach compromises that makes everyone happy.
Keep in mind too,that your parents were once teens and in most cases, they can relate to
what you're going through.

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One of the reasons many of us find it so hard is because it is a time of rapid physical
development and deep emotional changes. These are exciting, but can also be confusing
and uncomfortable for the child and the parent. I'm aware this rush of emotions can't be
helped and there will always be clashes between our desires and the desires of our parents,
but you have the choice to not yield. That's why I'm here to share few tips that helped from
my experience and other people's experience.

TIPS TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS

1. Be willing to listen:
You have your perspective, your parents have theirs. At the point of conflict, you have that
rush to explain and shout to the top of roof that youarenot at fault and you were never at
fault. But do you know that it will lead you nowhere?

2. Ask to be heard:
I understand this might be difficult especially in a typical African home. Asking to be heard
is politely asking your parents to listen to you explain how you feel. This should not be in
any form of rudeness.
Talk to your parents, don’t maintain a stubborn silence. If necessary ask them to agree to
disagree so you can all move forward. After listening, ask to be heard. Let them know you
also have a point of view, but make your points known respectfully, peacefully and as calmly
as possible.

3. Attempt to understand where your parents are coming from:

Think carefully about why you and your parents are arguing. Put yourselves in their
position and try to fairly think about how you would feel if you were a
parent. Be considerate and kind to them, thinking about how they might be feeling even as
you think about yourself. Try to put yourself in their position sometimes, some ofthe things
they say anddo that annoy you, could be because they care about you.

4. Show respect to your parents:

There’s no point in arguing with them just to cause a bit of drama in the house. Think about
how important the argument really is and be honest with yourself, if it’s not that important,
let it go. You can make your points known without disrespecting them, don't let those
emotions control you, you've got to be in control of those emotions by calmly making your
points and complaints.

5. Get Support, Talk to Someone:

Some relationships between young people and parents can be very difficult. If there are
problems at home that are too serious or difficult for you to sort out yourself, get support.

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Get an older person with experience that you can confide the struggles with the emotions
you have, someone who will give the right counsel and perhaps help you talk to your
parents.

6. Apologize when necessary:

If you realise you have done something wrong, don’t be too proud to admit it and apologise.
It may seem humiliating, but apologising is one of the bravest things a human can do and
being the bigger person can feel really good. You don't need to be wrong before
apologising, it might sound somehow, but for peace to reign, apologise. You've got to
swallow your pride.
Let me chip in my personal experience here. I've had countless conflicts with my dad, and
even when I wasn’t at fault, my mom would ask me to apologise. To be candid, after
apologising (even though it'snot easy) I can tell you, I felt a lot better.

7. Aim for Peace:

When you have made up with your parents, always aim to keep the peace from that point
on.
The ones who suffer the most from parent-children conflicts are actually the children.
Remember, you still depend on your parents for things. During conflict, even if your
parents are forgiving, your pride won't let you ask for things even when you need them. You
probably even go on hunger strikes just to protect your ego. You see there's no point in
conflict, just aim for Peace. When you aim for peace, your parents are happy, you are also
happy, and the two parties gain. Isn't that nice?

Conflict with your parents is inevitable. It is going to happen! How you navigate that
conflict, how you communicate, the words that you use and the manner that you carry
yourself — all of that is up to you. You have the ability to more effectively work through
conflict if you take sometime to consider your actions and be more intentional about your
behavior. Have you heard about the end time? They say there is a perilous time and we are
in it. In the perilous times, there will be children disobedient to parents – disrespect and
dishonoring parents both physically and spiritually.
Biblically and according to societal norms, it's wrong to be disobedient to our parents
(biological or not). Whether it's our hormones pushing us or us pushing ourselves, we will
be judged by it because it's one of the commandments of God. So at all cost, avoid
disobeying the commandments of God (Honor thy Father and thy mother...). Excuses will
not be heard when finally have to stand at the throne of God to be judged.
Society won't listen to the story of the cause of disobedience, disrespect to your parents.
Love your parents and celebrate them. Conflict is not a way of saying thank you for all their
sacrifices.

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With the help of God and your intentionality, it is possible to avoid clashes with your
parents.

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UNIQUENESS OF YOUR
JOURNEY
~ ODERINDE RACHAEL ~

Everyone has a different journey

different plan and different story
walk on your path
the_rebranded_rachael

Life becomes easier when you understand the uniqueness of your journey. I spent part of
my teenage years wishing I was somebody else, hoping and wishing I had what they had,
received treatment they received, did what they did and was celebrated like they were.

Our teenage years are a time of developing a unique personality. It's a time we value
relationships and have other interests as we develop a more clear sense of who we are. It is
also an important time to prepare for more independence and responsibility;
Your teenagehood is not a time to play around. It's a time you need to get pictures and
plans of what the future will look like. It's a time to try out things and don't stop till you get
a sense of who you are and what you will become. It's not a time to do ‘follow-follow’
focusing on other people's path while losing track of your path. It's a time of discovering
your path in life. Your path can be similar to another teenager's path, but it can never be
same.

Every person has been assigned to a particular path; permit me to use the word ‘purpose’.
We are not just living so as to occupy the earth. You are alive for more than that.
God has a specific plan for every life, and they are different from each other and that is
what we call Destiny. The teenage season is the time to discover God's plan and not
creating a plan. You are to walk by aligning with the already made plan.
We all have different types of strengths, weaknesses, talents and skills. It's your role to
partner with God to discover what gifts God has deposited in you, and how you should fully
harness it. When I say purpose, I want you think beyond profession or career. Most times
when purpose is mentioned, we are quick to tie it to what we want to become
professionally. Some also make the mistake of thinking purpose is all about a specific talent
you have. I get the point that your gifts and talents can be pointers to your purpose, but

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don't ever box your purpose to your gifts and talents alone. Your purpose will require a
combination of your God-given talents, gifts and acquired skills.
As far as I can remember as a child, anytime I am asked my purpose Iam quick to say
singing for God because I have a melodious voice and I can dance I believe I can function
well to entertain people in church with choreograph dance. Amazing, right? Then primary 3
or there abouts I came to terms that becoming a doctor will equal fulfilling purpose. Ahhh! I
get it. We were all like that, right? Grow up, your profession is part of your purpose and not
all there is as regards purpose. It's a bit of purpose.
As regards walking in your path, it's good to admire what others do especially when it's
working out for them, but never do the mistake of assuming their path to be yours because
it worked for them.
There are also chances to getting pressured to copy others. Please resist the urge to follow
the crowd. Give yourself time to know and discover who you really are.

The comparison syndrome

How many times have you compared yourself to your friends or colleagues using a trait
that you consider desirable, for example, money or success, grades, dressing?
I battled with comparison unconsciously while I was in secondary school. What do you
think a secondary school student would compare? Grades, position, relevance, confidence,
beauty (attraction in a better sense) and school accessories (school shoes, sport shoes,
school uniform, bags and food flask). Comparison can have both positive effects such as
motivation and progress, as well as negative effects that are destructive such as unhealthy
competition. More often than not, it’s about something the other person is capable of doing
that we wish we could do as well. Maybe Sade writes better than you, and maybe Daniel has
a happier relationship with friends than you do.
Mostly in African homes children are brought up with a mindset where evaluation refers to
comparison with peers rather than ourselves, it's only natural that even when our parents
stop comparing us, we unconsciously do the same, even in adulthood. This makes us feel
inadequate when someone does better than us and crushes whatever self-confidence we
had.
It leads to feeling inferior to peers, which leads to more negative feelings like envy and even
contempt towards those doing better than us. It's not surprising that we grow up as young
adults who perceive peers as competitors.

Comparisons between people are a recipe for unhappiness. The people who you are
comparing yourselves to, are probably comparing themselves to you. Maybe you’re better
at speaking (or many other things) than they are and they’re jealous. The world will be a
better place when your focus and energy is placed on what you’re capable of now and how
you can improve yourself, and not worrying about what your peers are doing.

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The negative effect:

Comparison leads to overlooking your blessings.
When we look at the accomplishments and successes of others we totally overlook the
blessings we have in our lives. You can forget the number of beautiful clothes in your closet
just at the sight of your peer in a beautiful dress. Same as grades, you won't appreciate
yourself for getting good grades just because some performed better than you. When you
spend more time looking at what others have rather than enjoying and giving thanks for
what you have, you’ll find yourself falling deeper into vice and dissatisfaction.

Comparison deprives us of our joy. I remember a season in my pre-teen years to early

teenagehood when
comparison began to seep in to my daily life and was a constant reminder of what I didn’t
have. When we allow comparison of others to dictate how we view our own lives, we enter
into a reality that robs us of the joy we have right in front of us.

Comparison adds no value to our lives and when we compare, we start to get less
satisfaction in the everyday activities of our lives. To be honest, negative comparisons that
results to emotions like envy and bitterness adds nothing to our value other than
unnecessary emotional baggage. The more you compare yourself to someone better, there
are tendencies you lose worth of life and become more agitated resulting in less or no
satisfaction in what we do daily.

Can comparing ourselves ever be a positive? As comparison has a negative side, there is
also a positive side to it. How? Comparing yourself to others can help you be more
self-aware. It helps you realize more about yourself and your strengths. Comparing yourself
to others who are great at what they do can show you where you can improve, thereby
making you a better person. Comparison can help you appreciate what you have, motivate
you to set realistic goals for yourself and discover ways to reach those goals by drawing
inspiration from others.
It encourages self improvement.

You can be anything but you can’t be everything. Compare yourself to who you were
yesterday. The best is to chase being abetter you.

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THE UNFIXABLE:
BROKEN AND CAN'T BE
FIXED
~ ODERINDE RACHAEL ~

There are things that can't be fixed again

I am taking a break from fixing them laslas we will be alright
10th of May, 2022

I wrote the piece above in one of my down moments. I realized there are things that are
beyond my control, things broken beyond repair. There are so many things we need to
leave in the past, just let them go. Such as broken relationships (friendships and more) and
emotional trauma caused by people around us or as a result of past events. As teenagers,
we all must have had that awful past we hope to never remember, been friends with people
we wished we never knew, and have moments of regrets for our past mistakes.
These broken moments hinder us from the beautiful future that awaits us. There are
memories stored up in the heart and keeps us from seeing the bright side of life.
You go through the diaries you kept during those dark moments; you have held bitterness
so tight in your heart. Love and light which are meant to be tenants of your heart are
choked up by hatred and unforgiveness leading to heavy hearts that cause emotional
breakdown in and out of season. You don't seem to have a hang of control of your
emotions; the door is so wide that evil has borne so many roots in the heart that should
harbour dreams and visions of the glorious tomorrow God has promised you. You are so
weak to cry or seek for help. You go about with locked and hardened heart caused by the
unforgiving spirit.
This is a call to healing.
You probably need to take a break from fixing them. Move past fixing them by putting your
gaze on the future. Or perhaps you need help to break past the walls of darkness by seeking
help.

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Deep right inside you, you know those things you are trying to fix can't be fixed and you are
probably waiting for someone to tell you. Well, I am saying take a break, move on. It’s
difficult to leave the past in the past; you can't help not letting go of the past, it's natural.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE and I need you to know you can't remain there, you can't remain
broken. You need to rise, let go and move on. YOUR PAST IS YOUR PAST! Don't let the devil
and the emotions rob you off your joy and happiness. Your past is not the final determinant
of the future, there is room for change and a chance to rewrite your story. Is it abuse,
betrayal, disappointment or WHAT? They are not enough to deny you of a happy story.
There is a clash of the rivers outpouring from the Throne of the Father that washes one
clean and changes the identity of a man. Why don't you lay down the heavy weights at the
throne of the Father? You are not the abused; you now have a new identity with a new robe
clothed around you when you allow God do the healing and fixing. God is so eager to help
you out of the situation and help you fix your tomorrow by opening your eyes to lessons to
learn from the past and to see blessings from the past.
He will mend and fix your heart like you were never broken. Confused on how to do it? All
you need is just to come vulnerable to God. Yes, He is all-knowing and all-seeing, but there
is a place where God is eager for you to come to Him to bear your emotions, pains and
trauma. He will help, He knows you need it! All you need is to take a convenient posture and
speak out your heart to God like you are seeing Him. Talk to Him like you will talk to a
person (Your daddy). I can assure you, He will help and you will be better! In the place of
healing up, there's a need for you to:

1. Acknowledge that the feelings are normal. It's okay to feel what you feel. You are human
with emotions.

2. Acknowledge and have a knowing in your heart that now is the time to let go of the
past. Come to the awareness it has happened but you can't allow the hurt and pain forever.
You need to be happy and okay.

3. Forgive yourself and any other person. The number one person that needs forgiveness
is you. Stop blaming yourself for the past.
If there was any second or third party who was involved in the process of your brokenness
or emotional damage, then they need your forgiveness too. Unforgiveness is a huge and
heavy burden for the heart. It slows one down, and chokes up good things in the heart.
You want to heal? You need to forgive whether they deserve your forgiveness or not.
Forgiveness will bring you peace. Before healing, there has to be forgiveness.

4. Have a positive mantra.

You need to replace every form of negativity with positivity. It's time to focus on only
positive things. Let your thoughts, words, actions and everything about you be positive.

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There's more to the subject of healing from brokenness and emotional trauma of the past. If
you need help I will advise you seek it, this chapter is just to create awareness on the need
to heal from the past. To move forward in life, there's a need to shed unnecessary weights
and burden that might slow you down and prevent you from seeing the goodside of life.
There's a lot of good that awaits you.
It's yours to get!
Break free from the past. The future awaits you!

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~ ABOUT THE AUTHOR ~

Oderinde is a daughter of God. She is currently an undergraduate of Olabisi Onabanjo
University.

She has a burning desire to see teenagers discover themselves and she’s passionate about
teenagers’ growth and development.

She is on a mission to raising well-rounded teenagers who will impact and spread greatness
all over the world.

Beyond this, she is a lover of children, a writer and also a techie. Her instagram handle is
@the_rebranded_rachael.

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SECTION
TWO:
THE
CHRONICLES
OF CELINA

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RELATIONSHIP AMONG
TEENAGERS
~ ILEBIYI CELINA ~

During teenagehood/adolescence, young people learn how to form safe and healthy
relationships with friends, parents, caregivers, teachers, and romantic partners.
When it comes to relationship, as teenagers we should look beyond the romantic aspect,
beyond love affairs, boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. Relationship is far more than
that, it's a lifetime deal. You should see relationships as tool to develop and discover
yourself and as an act of service to God. You should know relationship entails your
connection with classmates, neighbours, school mates, seniors, juniors, parents, siblings
etc. Don't limit the word relationship to love affairs alone. All success happens in the
context of relationships. All problems are solved by relationships. The world basically runs
on relationships in various forms with different names. Treaties, friendships, partnerships,
and marriages are all relationships that define our individual and collective success. Even
though it’s natural for us to want to connect with other people and form relationships,
relationships don’t just happen. They require conscious, deliberate effort to form, nurture
and sustain. Usually, you get as much as you put in when it comes to relationships.
Relationship is one of the most common strategies satan uses to destroy the lives of many
teenagers in our present society. Many teenagers see relationships as something playful,
most especially among secondary school students and it has affected and caused a lot of
havoc to many lives.
What is a relationship? According to the Oxford dictionary, a relationship is defined as the
way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave towards each other.
Relationships are essential to our life and growth. The kind of relationship you build with
people can either affect your life positively or negatively. Even the Holy book warned us
about the company (Relationship) we keep because God is aware of how important it is to
us and to our survival on earth. So when it comes to relationships, it shouldn't be taken
with levity or negligence. Parents and teachers have roles to play in order to curb ill
mannered relationship among our teenagers, but we have the greatest role to play. There is
a kind of relationship God desires to see us develop among ourselves is the agape love
relationships, not the ones the devil proposes.

How to build valuable relationships

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● The only way you can form and nurture valuable relationships with other people is
seeking the best for them, and doing so without the mindset of quid pro quo, that is,
they must give you something in return.
● Relationships are sustained on value. When you offer people value, you become a
valuable person to them. All other things being equal, they naturally want to be in a
relationship with you as they also seek to reciprocate and add value to you too.
● Be original & passionate about what you’re trying to do. If you’re not passionate then
it turns into work and no one likes work. Be original and real. Authenticity is key to
building you deep relationships.

A quick introduction.
My name is Ilebiyi Celina Motunrayo, currently a 200 level student of OOU and I'll be
sharing my relationship journey with us. I was known to be very gentle in junior secondary
school to the extent that no one will notice my absence in school if I don't go. I was a baby
Christian who was growing as the Lord was helping me to walk with Him. My gentleness in
the classroom was second to none.
During my JSS one, a guy who was a classmate of mine asked me out. I remember informing
my best friend and she advised me not to give into a romantic relationship with the guy
because I was too young for that. God helped me,I listened to her and told the guy I was not
interested in him. The guy begged me and didn't stop from giving me things. My best friend
and I would always collect the gifts from the guy; after all I had told him I was not
interested in him. After sometime, the guy left me and moved on with life. There was this
particular day I was in the class and the mathematics teacher told me to see him in his
office after the class. Had I known, I wouldn’t have gone at all. As a serious and obedient
student, I went, greeted him and he offered me a seat. The man asked me about my welfare
and everything, he
also asked me why I didn't talk in the class. I answered him that there's no reason that I
don't really relate with people and the teacher said should always report to his office every
morning. ‘What for, hope no problem sir?’ I asked the man and he said nothing that he
wanted to be seeing my face every day and I was amazed and I agreed. The man gave me
notes, made me mark attendance every morning I resumed school and after some days, the
man started making some moves and I have never experienced anything like such in my life,
the man started asking me to be sitting beside him in the office, he will put his leg on my
leg, it was a sad, annoying and a regretful phase yofmy life. The man will always target time
for me, he will send some students to always call me, and times where I refused to go to his
office, the man messaged me on Facebook and promised to fail me. Fear gripped my heart, I
opened up to my best friend and she advised me to stay far away from the man and the
worst part of the matter was that, the man was a Muslim while I was a baby Christian just
growing, so the man instilled fear in my heart. There was this particular day, he sent some
one to call me, it was during closing hour, after school and I went to meet him and he asked

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me to take a sit and I should sit beside him which I did and he gave me some notes to mark
and he started asking some questions from me, he asked me to tell him about my boyfriend
and I told him I don't have anyone and he asked me that did I know the meaning of peck
and I said no and the man said I should bring my ear closer that he wants to tell me
something, I did and the man pecked me. I was speechless and wowed and he told me that
that was the meaning of peck and I was still on awe of what happened and after some
minutes I left and went home. I couldn't open up to anyone, I kept the wound to myself and
after sometime, I adapted to the man's moves and I played along with him, after the peck,
he moved to kiss, the man was the first person to kiss me, and after the kiss, he would
touch me, romance with me. After three months, I went to the man's office as usual and I
expected the man to touch me, he didn't touch me, he didn't make any move and I was
surprised and was like what's going on, I already fell for the man, emotions and feelings is
running, I couldn't restrict myself again. I was addicted to the nonsense I was doing with
the man so I decided to make the move, the man didn't give me attention. After some
minutes, I left and went back to my class. After closing hour, I went to the man's office to
check up on him, and the man sat me down and talked to me that he was sorry for
everything he did to me that he has never tried such thing with his student that I was the
first person he would do that nonsense with that I shouldn't expect anything like that from
him again, I cried profusely and went on my way.
After some months, a guy in my class asked me out and the guy was a Muslim, and I
accepted the guy's proposal and we started doing lovebirds in class. Everybody knew we
were dating in class and I got distracted with many things, whenever I saw the guy with
another girl, I won't concentrate in the class, whenever the guy saw me with another guy
too, he'll always question me and our love grew stronger and stronger. The guy would
always call me when I get home. Every morning the guy will always bring goodies for me, he
would help me to write notes in class, do my assignment for me and many more. So, after
like a year of being with the guy, the guy's love for me began to fade away. I had a best
friend then. She was a very dear friend to me but since I and the guy were together, I
noticed that my best friend loved the guy but I always asked the guy what's going on
between both of them, the guy would tell me that they were just sister and brother friend,
because she called the guy her brother. Since the guy said it was just sister and brother
friend, I believed but people kept telling me that something was going on between the two
of them. I would ask the guy and the guy will tell me nothing, unknowing to me that
thousands were on going already. So on this fateful night, the guy and I were chatting, we
were both preparing for an exam so the guy chatted me up and told me that he needs space
that he can't continue the relationship again and I begged the guy and did everything to
bring back the guy but all efforts proved abortive so we both moved on. Two weeks after
we called off the relationship, I heard that guy was dating my best friend already. I felt like
ending my life the day I heard but I couldn't rather, I went to meet the guy and asked him
what's up with my best friend and he said what I heard was true tha the loved her that he

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was done with me so I should not disturb his girl and leave his girl out of the matter. I wept
so profusely that I couldn't control my tears after everything the guy have done to me the
guy touched me, we didn't kiss but he touched me, I cried and blamed myself and my best
friend. I couldn't get over it for good six months but later I had to move on. After some
months also, there was this beautiful day, one of the guys in my class approached me, and
we started talking, from being friends to getting in an entangled and undefined
relationship. The guy will always want to look after me since the first guy left me to make
sure I was okay and not thinking about the guy again. It was such a terrible experience but
we started talking, sharing many things together and everything. So, there was this girl in
my class this guy asked out when they were in SSS one, but she declined his request, saying
she was too young for that. When the girl noticed the guy and I were getting close, she
started developing feelings for the guy and the smart guy started playing the game between
the two of us. The guy will tell the girl one thing and he'll tell me another. So he was playing
both of us. In that school, the SSS three students were to organize a Christmas carol for the
school and it was my set to organize the party. We planned the party and we all concluded
to do the cooking at the girl's house and I was part of the committee, so I slept at the girl's
house a day before the party so as to assist in the cooking. So, after we were done with
cooking that night, we went inside with my cousin, we were both in same class so we
started our gist and as we were gisting, the girl talked about the guy and she told me how
he had been badmouthing me that I was the one forcing myself on him, that he never asked
me out, I had been the one disturbing him and that he tried as much as possible to avoid
me but I'll always come around him, sticking around him and he told the girl that he has
always loved her and not me that he was just using me as a cover up. I cried my eyes out
that night. I couldn't control my tears and the girl told me that I should leave the guy that
he's just wasting my time. My cousin also advised me that she had warned me beforehand
on my relationship with the guy but I refused to listen to her. So she advised me that night
that I should let go of the guy and we settled everything and we went to sleep. I could not
sleep, waiting for the next morning so I can ask the guy if what the girl told me was true
but I fell asleep while waiting in thought. Knock!!!, It was the girl's grandmother waking us
up to continue our cooking, one part of me was happy because I was going to ask the guy
everything I heard and one part of me was sad because I couldn't believe everything the
guy told the girl. It was the party day. It was a very busy day for us all but fortunately for
me, the guy and some boys in the class came to the girl's house to check how far we've
gone with the cooking and packing. So, I excused myself from where they were cooking and
I went to approached the guy with a smile on my face, he was not really free with me
because he doesn't want the girl to get jealous that he was talking with me. I tried as much
as possible to talk with him, and I asked him everything the girl told me and the girl was
not lying because she showed me their Facebook messages and I read it, he was surprised
and told me that he can explain everything that happened. I bowed my head and wept
because I didn't expect

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 LIFE AT I8

it from the guy so I told him to keep his explanation to himself. When I got home after the
party, I logged in into my Facebook account. I saw his message. He apologized for
everything he did, saying he didn't know it was going to end up that way, that he didn't
mean to hurt me the way the first guy did but he couldn't got over the girl that I should
please move on and forget everything we had together in the past. It was indeed a terrible
season for me, two breakfasts in a year. I couldn't believe everything happening to me, I
cried almost everyday. I thought God was against me, I never believed my favourite people
could become strangers, but all these traumas made me forget God. I was living a life that
pleased me. After the guy had served me breakfast, I couldn't do without a boyfriend, so I
started moving from one guy to another. I started dating guys from other schools. I couldn't
concentrate on my studies very well and I got known by many people because of my
relationships with guys in other schools. Senior secondary school journey was not pleasant
for me but everything happened and there was no remedy. Some months after I finished
secondary school, I was in my room checking through my phone and I saw an online
program about love, I joined the group and it was a life changing programming for me. The
program changed my life and my mentality about relationships. I was taught that I can't
develop a solid relationship with people without having any relationship with God. Since
then, I gave up on boyfriend and girlfriend relationship thing, I chose to let Christ he the
centre of my life. I started my walk with Christ. I chose godly friends that helped me to
grow, I chose friends that talked about Christ together. I got to do away with ungodly
relationship I had with people.
It's no longer a new thing that you choose the kind of relationship you want with people;
you can decide to choose godly relationship and you can decide to choose ungodly one, I
just want you to know that you'll be accountable for everything you do. If you're into this
kind of situation, I don't want you to condemn yourself. If the world is condemning you, I
want you to know that Jesus can never condemn you. Jesus will never condemn you. He
wants you saved, not condemned. Jesus can fix you. I want you to see this book as a point of
contact for your freedom, He can fix you. He fixed me, He will fix you too. Don't give up on
yourself, don't give up on godly relationship, God is still fixing lives. Even as a teenager,
don't be easily influenced about the things your friend are doing, even in that your class,
you can choose the friends you want, choose godly friends so you won't end up in
‘situationship’. Choosing godly friends doesn't mean you won't see these challenges, you'd
see them but the difference is that you have friend that can assist you in pulling you out of
it and assisting you not to lose focus. I can boldly say that a godly relationship among
people is everything the teenagers should desire to have. Don't be in haste, God is not in
haste. Don't get yourself engaged in an entanglement, the devil is looking for whom to
devour, beware!!!
A love relationship is susceptible to lots of problems. Problems that are usually too critical
for a budding adult to counter. There’s more to love than crush and feelings.

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Here are few reasons you should not engage in a relationship as a teenager:
• You are not ready. You really aren’t ready for it. You just want to do it because your
friends are doing it. It is wise that you get a hold of yourself.
• Your emotions are vulnerable. This may not be the case for some but most teenagers are
still vulnerable emotion wise. Vulnerable in the sense that peoples actions dictate the state
of your heart.
• You’ll break up. You will experience heartbreak. Most Teenagers don’t have the capacity
to handle a relationship successfully. The start is as good as the end. Awful things happen in
life that are usually too weighty for teenagers to handle. If you fail to realize this, you’ll rush
in and rush out. It will get so bad that you’ll wonder what brought you into it in the first
place. You’ll wish you hadn’t.
Your teenage years should be used to focus on your building and having quality
relationships that will benefit you in along run.

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~ ABOUT AUTHOR ~
Ilebiyi Celina Motunrayo is a student of linguistics at Olabisi Onabanjo University.

She is also into business. She is a devout Christian. She is passionate about teenagers doing
the will of God and submitting their all to Christ.
She is also passionate about educating people on building healthy relationships with
everyone they come across.

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SECTION
THREE:
CHRONICLES
OF GRACE

40
 LIFE AT I8

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 LIFE AT I8

ACADEMICS
~ BAMMIDELE GRACE ~

Academics, as given by the Oxford English Dictionary, refer to education or scholarship. In

local parlance, it refers to formal schooling - the one that starts (in Nigeria), from
kindergarten (KG), all the way to university education, including post-graduate studies.
Seeingasthisbookisdirectedspecifically at teenagers, the schooling at university level will be
our departure point. In today’s world, academics is a very important tool, yet one taken
with so much laxity by modern teenagers. This is shown in statements such as “school nah
scam” ,“first-class is unnecessary” and others common among youths today. True, some
people do not work with their certificates after school. Most make their successes by being
self-employedor with their natural gifts. This, however, does not erode the role of formal
education. Formal education is what gives you a foundation for whatever else you want to
do after achieving it. It is sad that in our community today, “anyhow” wealth is appreciated
over education, and it does not help that these “fast” ways to get money require little
education. However, as a schooling Christian teenager, we are in this world, but we are not
called to be like the world. We are in the world to show the world the light. So, if the world
sees school as a scam, then there is a great responsibility on us to show the world that it is
not so. You see, we have a lot of work to do.

SCHOOL AND HAVING FIRST CLASS IS NOT A SCAM

Yes, it is not. The importance of education can never be over-emphasized. Education is like
a guiding light. It opens our eyes to see a wider world. In a sermon by Emmanuel Iren, he
said something noteworthy about this subject.
He said and I paraphrase that the fact that Jesus’ first disciples were fishermen who were
uneducated does not mean that you should be lax in your academics because Jesus will
require a disciple who is a medical doctor (Luke) and another who is an accountant
(Matthew). A call to service is not a call to mediocrity. If you don’t have a good command of
the English language, how do you want to preach the gospel? Do not use your vision to
sabotage your education. There is nothing wrong with a musician getting a first-class, and
neither is there anything wrong with a businessman graduating with a distinction. Don’t
use your vision or call to service to be mediocre about your academics. Please, avoid that
mistake. Prove that you can be successful at anything you are found doing as long as you
set your mind to it. “School na scam”. This statement is so popular today. Well, I will not

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completely blame the proponents, seeing as the present Nigeria’s labour market does not
favour graduates. However, as I will always say: broaden your horizon. If you believe your
certificate will not benefit you here, what about in Europe, Asia, and the rest of the world?
If that opportunity comes to you one day, will you not be in regret if you had followed the
train of “school na scam”? Some people believe that having a first-class is unnecessary and
does not matter in the real world. Well, whether it matters or not is not yours to decide
except may be you want to pursue a different thing outside of your certification when you
graduate, which is not wrong. People who say a first class is unnecessary are simply those
who are finding an excuse to cover up for their mediocrity, and also push their insecurities
on others. There is nothing wrong with desiring a first class and working towards it. We
can only deny it so well but having a first-class is an added advantage. Most undergraduate
and postgraduate scholarship boards, as well as other academic and internship
opportunities, have preferences for first-class students or at least second-class upper. This
is without a doubt. So, imagine the number of opportunities that will bypass someone who
believes first-class is unnecessary. Making a first-class, or a second-class CGPA is totally
your choice. If you want it, work towards it and get it. Do not for any reason harbour the
thought that it is unnecessary, because it is beneficial in the long run. If you are thinking
otherwise, it is still your choice, but you are in school already, so why not
make the most out of your grades? After all, what is worth doing is worth doing well.

INVOLVEMENT IN EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES. YAY OR

NAY?

Definitely yay. See, that statement about “all work, and no play makes Jack a dull play” is
true. If all you get out of university is your first-class or second-class upper certificate,
then you are very wrong. Your university life should not be a cycle: class, chapel, library,
and hostel. It should be more. There should be a little more. This is where extra-curricular
activities come in. extra -curricular activities are non-academic activities that students can
engage in outside of their school curriculum and studies. They include sports, volunteering,
part-time employment, creativity clubs, etc. In the University, everyone has the
opportunity to engage in one extracurricular activity or the other. As noted earlier, there
are so many ways to engage in extracurricular activities. Join a club in school in school ( I
didn’t say a cult group). There are so many clubs on campus. Find one that interests you
and settle in. It could be a literary and debating club, JCI, or anyone that you like. Join in
and participate. Yes, don’t just join for joining sake. Be active. Know others and be known.
You can also engage in volunteering work in and around the school. Find causes that
interest you and volunteer for them. Look for charity organizations close to you and offer
to volunteer for them. This especially has great benefits. Not only does it give you a feel of

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the outside world, but it will also boost your resume and make you more employable as a
graduate. You can also engage in part-time jobs. This helps you to make money while
studying, have knowledge about industries and roles, and it helps you to meet and know
people outside of your course and school. Apart from part-time jobs, you can also take on
leadership roles while in school if you know you are inclined towards it. You could be a
group leader for an assignment or serve as an executive in your fellowship, your
departmental association, or your student union government. There are lots of benefits in
engaging in extra-curricular activities: Engaging in extra-curricular activities
like sports helps you to destress and rest mentally. It offers you a break from the stressful
university cycle of classes, assignments, coursework, and presentations. It is like a fresh
breath of relief. It helps you to strike a balance. You will be studying while still maintaining
your social life. It helps you to build sustainable relationships. In the future (after
graduation), you will need to have connections and networks. They are part of the oxygen
you will need to breathe in the outside world. You should build a relationship with your
course mates as you deem fit, but it should not end there. Seek to broaden your horizons.
Engaging in extracurricular offers you an opportunity to interact with others with similar
interests, and with that, you expand your social network. It helps you to learn and gain
valuable skills like time management, leadership skills, teamwork, and problem-solving
skills, just to mention a few. It will boost your CV and make you more employable when you
graduate. This is because Engaging in extracurricular activities would have given you the
experiences that most employers demand. If you are the type of person who believes their
life should be a semblance of the cycle I mentioned in the first paragraph, please don’t feel
judged. I definitely am not in a position to judge or laugh at you, because I previously
taught that way, and I lived that way. Sounds funny, isn’t it? During my first year at the
university, I was the “dull Jack”. All I had in my head was to make a first-class. I did not want
to do anything that will jeopardize that. I lived my life like this: Hostel, chapel, class, library,
and back to the hostel (My school is a Christian private university, so you can imagine how
extreme it is). I was only concerned with reading, I had almost no breaks. I was not even
watching movies. However, after advice from seasoned people, and some sort of
self-realization, I concluded I was not only going to attend only classes throughout my stay
at the university. I broke free and I started joining suitable clubs and associations, and trust
me, it’s been one of my good decisions. It’s been very beneficial. Let me share with you one
striking benefit I have gotten from it. At the beginning of my second year in school, I
engaged in a programme called work-study where I could work and study at the same time.
At the time, I was working in my departmental office. One day, the department was
organizing students to attend a lecture at the NIIA,
Lagos. They were picking students from the 200-400 Level. While I was there, my HOD just
asked if I would like to go. I said yes, and that is how I got to be the only student in my level
who went. The fact that I was working there gave me that vantage opportunity.

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PRINCIPLES OF ACADEMIC SUCCESS

Like every other endeavour, success in academics has principles that if followed through,
can guarantee good results. Know thyself. This is the foremost principle. The results you
will get from many other principle depend on this. Knowing yourself means knowing what
works best for you when it comes to your academics. Do you read better during the day or
at night? What kind of environment do I assimilate in better? How often do I need to read a
course material before I fully understand it? These and many more are crucial questions to
ask and answer to know yourself as regards your academics. A lack of knowledge of this as
the Bible puts it cause you to “perish”. What do I mean? Take this scenario for instance. My
favourite teacher in secondary school told us his story as a secondary school student. He
was a day reader, but his dad will always force them to wake up at night to read. He gets up
to read at night but ends up struggling to stay awake all through and not assimilating
anything in return. This routine adversely affected him such that when he wants to read at
his best time of the day, the uncomfortable vigil he did the last night prevented him from
doing so. This is why it is very important to know yourself and the stuff you are made up of.
Don’t follow your friend to night class when you are a day reader. The friend you are
following might be someone who assimilates at night. Don’t feel pressured to go to the
library to read if you read well in an environment where there is movement and people
talking. I have a friend who does not see the library as a suitable environment to read. She
will most likely sleep off and not read anything. She realized this and reads in a comfortable
environment, and she is doing well in her studies. I, on the other hand, can spend hours in
the library reading. Now, imagine if she felt pressured to follow me to the library to read, it
would be a disaster for her, right? You need to know yourself and the system that works for
you. In addition to knowing yourself, know your goals as well. Define it clearly. What do you
want to achieve? In this context, what grade or ultimately what class do you want? I know
the bandwagon answer to this is “first class”. However, you need to define yours clearly and
personally. Don’t say you want a first-class because that’s the common answer. Don’t just
join that train without an individualistic mind. Everyone says they want a first-class but not
everyone graduates with one because not everyone works toward it even though they want
it. Ask yourself: Do I want a first-class, a second-class upper or the other classes? Why am I
saying this? The Bible in Proverbs 16:26 says “A labourer's appetite makes him work harder
because he wants to satisfy his hunger”. What this is saying is “you work according to your
appetite. The bigger your appetite, the more effort you put into your work”. If you are truly
hungry for a first class, you won’t put in the effort for less. Realistically, this verse came to
me at a most timely period in school. Before exams, I observed my mates skipping classes,
and not being so serious in assignments (especially group ones). I will be in my hostel and
see people watching movies everyday even during tests and exams (now, I’m not saying it’s

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wrong but at a ppoint in your school life, you will be around certain people and you know
they watch movies more than they read…). At some point, I wanted to be like them also. I
wanted to stop being so serious, you know and be a little carefree. Then, a day or two later,
I read this verse and that was the answer, the motivation, encouragement, and everything I
needed to remain serious when I should and not compromise. I realized I have an appetite
for excellence and I must put in the required work to match that appetite. So, personally
know what you want, so you can develop the appetite and the hunger for it, then you will
be able to know what you need to and should do. Honestly, if you follow this, you’ll have an
internal motivation and no matter what you will always be committed to your goal. Have an
internal motivation. An internal motivation, as the name implies, is internal. It is from
within you, and it does not depend on external circumstances. Just like the internal
conviction you have that God exists and no matter what happens, it does not change your
belief that God does exist.
You also need to have an intrinsic motivation that drives you on endlessly in your academic
endeavors. This could be anything, as long as it drives you to do the right things towards
your academics. Your internal motivation is not dependent on what happens around you.
So, when external circumstances fail you, your internal motivation is what comes to your
rescue. There are days you will wake up and you don’t want to go to classes, days where
you will so temptingly want to watch a movie instead of doing your assignments or read
when you should, days where you want to leave school and attend the party all your friends
are going to, etc. Definitely, days like this will come, but what will make you do the right
thing for your academics is your internal motivation. So, externally, when you don’t feel like
going to that class, your external motivation will push you out of bed. For me, that intrinsic
motivation was my appetite for excellence, and the pride, smiles and joys of my parents and
me when I succeed at the end of my academic journey. Find your intrinsic motivation.
Practice Spaced Repetition. This is a method of learning repetitively in a spaced manner.
When you are taught a new topic in class, try to go over your note that same day before
you sleep. If you do this, the brain will find it easier to retain new information. After 3 days,
read the material again and ask yourself questions based on it. Practice it again in 6 days, 14
days, etc, till you fully comprehend it. Take your assignments, tests, term papers and group
presentations seriously. Getting an A in any course starts from the assignments given.
Grade A is not gotten with exams alone. It is cumulative of tests and assignments. For
instance, 70 marks are required to make an A. Now, having 23 marks and above will leave
you looking for just between 47-45marks in your exam to make an A. So, tests are very
important in getting your desired grade. It is also much easier to pass tests than exams.
Therefore, don’t play with your assignments and tests. Take them seriously. Have a study
partner or an accountability partner. If you are the type of person that cannot study alone,
the have a study/accountability partner with whom you read and share knowledge with.
This will help a lot especially if you lack the discipline to read alone. Go outside your course

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notes. The difference between extraordinary and ordinary is the “extra”. The difference
between an average and an excellent
student is the extra effort. Know that your lecturer will not teach you everything about a
topic or course, they expect you to read up on your own. It is only a lazy student that
depends solely on what the lecturer teaches. Don’t be an average student, put in the effort.
Get textbooks and research more. Go online and get more information. Use YouTube videos
and listen to other lecturers teach the topic. Know your lecturer and your courses. It is
very important to know these two. How you will answer a literature question differs
fromhow you answer questions in chemistry. Likewise, different lecturers have a specific
way they like their students to answer their questions. Inquire from students at higher
levels about your different lecturers and what they want. After my admission into the
university in 100 level, I was lucky to receive an orientation from higher-level students
about the different types of lecturers in the department and their preferred way of
answering questions. I had a particular lecturer that loved students giving examples to
buttress their points. I was able to hack into this and I had wonderful results. It is not that
the lecturer will not mark or give marks for just points, but he gets impressed when
students can support their points with examples. I had another lecturer that loved
“straight-to-the-point” answers, nothing more or less. I did not understand this quite early,
so we wrote a certain test that I wrote a lot beyond what was even taught. This lecturer
literally cancelled the part that was not necessary. So, know your lecturers well and
understand what they expect from students in tests and exams. Do not use lecturer A’s
method for lecturer B’s. Be disciplined. Know why you are in school. As a student, you
should not be forced to read or do assignments.

INVOLVING GOD IN YOUR ACADEMICS

Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Never rely on what you think
you know. Remember the LORD in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.”
God is interested in every aspect of your life and
your academics is not an exception. Do not make the mistake of leaving God out of your
academics - that will be a great undoing. It is very possible to involve God and partner with
the holy Spirit as regards your academics. You’re in that school because God wants you to.
Yes, that is right, and if that is the case, you should not exempt God because there is
something he wants to achieve with your results from that school. Divine direction applies
to your academics too. As a student, I have had and heard testimonies of students who
during their study times were directed to read a certain portion of their course notes, only
to get to the examination hall and see that what they read was what the examination
questions were based upon. So, this is one of the benefits of involving God in your

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academics. (However, divine direction is not an excuse for laziness. Don’t lay on your bed
waiting for divine direction before reading. Prepare yourself to read, pray, and start
studying. Leave the rest to God as Proverbs 16:9 says “A man's heart deviseth his way: but
the Lord directeth his steps”.). Gbile Akanni in his book He Leads Me, recounts his years as
an undergraduate student in partnership with the holy Spirit. He says that in class while his
lecturer is teaching, he divides his note into two and writes what the lecturer is teaching
him on one side, and what the Holy Spirit is explaining to him on the other side. So, while
he is listening to the lecturer, the Holy Spirit is right there explaining the course to him.

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~ ABOUT AUTHOR ~
Grace Bamidele is currently an undergraduate at Covenant University. She is a young girl
with a passion for global affairs. She loves God as well and would want to describe herself
as someone on a continuous quest to know and love God more. She loves reading and with
a liking for the academic field, academic writing is a hobby and skill she will like to develop.
She also loves charity and hopes one day to bring dignity to the domestic workforce.

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SECTION
FOUR:
CHRONICLES
OF IFEOLUWA

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INTRODUCTION TO
FASHION AND
EXPOSURE
~ OKEOWO IFEOLUWA ~

When it comes to fashion, everyone has their own definition or what they think fashion is.

I define fashion in three words. Style, Comfort, Poise. Everyone has their own style, if you
give the same piece of material to 3 people, they wouldn’t use it the same way. Fashion is
generic, style is unique. When it comes to fashion and exposure, it’s a matter of “how much
is too much?” “How little is too little?” As a Christian who’s wondering the answer to these
controversial questions, what are your metrics to determine the answer to these
questions? Then keep reading.

FASHION IS A VOICE,
WHAT IS YOUR VOICE SAYING?

Your outfit can speak bold, timid, trustworthy, razz, gentle, promiscuous, royal. Let’s test a
little experiment, look at these pictures below and write down the first word that comes to
mind when you see them. Give someone else the book and ask them the same thing
without showing them your own answers. when they're done, compare your answers.
Although they may not be 100% similar, they have similarities. In conclusion, you are first
defined by your fashion or appearance before anything else. Before choosing any outfit, the
same way you would rather speak beautiful, good and sweet things with your mouth, let
your fashion communicate beauty and elegance. Have you noticed, sophisticated women
are much more respected. They carry an aura, there is this bossy, I can't be toyed with
vibes and they are often respected. You may call it stereotypical. However, if you see a man
wearing a senate outfit and then you see a guy wearing some ragged jeans and a tee, and
they step out from the same car. even if the one wearing the tee has more money or much
more sense, the first thought is that the senate man is more respected and the one wearing

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tee could be his assistant or just someone random. Without consideration, you’d
acknowledge the man first, it’s the way the mind works, even if that man may not be the
richest, until otherwise confirmed, he has left a mark

MY FASHION AND MY EMOTIONS

The way you dress can affect your emotions and vice versa. I’m not much of a confident
person, but one thing that I know boosts my confidence from a 30 to a 70 is my outfit. Ever
had moments you dressed really well and you received several compliments? You must
have felt like you could slay goliath at that point. If you dress like a princess, you’d feel like a
princess, if you dress like a housewife, you’d feel like one. And remember, your feelings are
essential, it is what your spirit man takes in. Now, imagine you’re wearing one strapless
mini gown and you’re feeling hot and turning heads, your spirit man takes that in and the
report to heaven for that day is “Lord, she’s feeling sexy, and happy that she’s getting the
attention of guys”. To whose glory is that? God or the devil’s? I’ll leave that for you to
answer.

MY FASHION AND MY COMFORTABILITY

One truth that people overlook is that you feel more like yourself in less revealing clothes.
If I’m wearing a short skimpy gown, I’d want to occasionally adjust so it doesn’t show off
much more than I intended. Why do you think people enjoy wearing baggy items when
they’re seemingly not in the “mood” Because they feel really comfortable

I DRESS FOR ME, NOT OTHERS

“If he looks, it’s not my fault, I’mnot the one that asked him to look, he should deal with his
unholy mind, even if I wear something that covers, people would still look.” Luke 17: 1-3 says
“Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but
woe to anyone through whom they come.

2 It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their
neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.

3 So watch yourselves.” If they sin, let it not be through you. Once upon a time, I posted a
photo of me wearing bum shorts{I would never wear these out] and then someone

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corrected me on it but I came up with excuses like “I’m in my house, I don’t wear it out
anyway” Now, I still don’t see anything wrong with wearing shorts in your home but looking
back at the scenario, I felt like a fool. If I can’t wear it out then why can I post it for all to
see? In fact, people are more liable to see it online than physically For every individual,
records are being kept in heaven and I can imagine an angel giving report on a Christian
sister and the report goes like “this brother saw sister faith wearing a short strapless dress
and he went to his room masturbating with the image of her”. Have you fulfilled your duty
as Christian, you have populated darkness. If fashion is just for you and not for people to
see, go out stark naked.

IF OTHERS CAN DO IT, WHY CAN’T I?

It’s not my fault that my breast is big, so she can wear this type of clothe because she is slim
but I can’t wear it because I have big breast, is it my fault my breast is big? The Bible says
that a certain thing may not be wrong but if it leads others to sin, then as a Christian, you
should desist from that act. Is your fashion or a top that you would wear twice or thrice
which would eventually wear out much more important than a fellow man’s soul? When the
slim lady wore it, there was nothing to show off, but if someone really busty wears that
same thing, your breasts are pronounced or cleavages are showing etc.

IT IS MY MIND THAT MATTERS

I once believed this, remember my bum short story, I remember hazily telling the person
it’s not by what I wear, people may think whatever even I don’t wear something revealing
and that who created the line for modesty, I’m sure the person that advised me must have
felt like “motisieyangbanimoron leni” [I have advised the wrong person] Imagine you see a
mad man on your way somewhere… Pause right there, when I said “mad man” A picture
came to your mind, right? Describe that picture…. Exactly, you have an ideology of how a
man should look and dress, ragged clothes, dusts, rough hair etc. That’s not where I’m
going though, so the mad man calls out and say, “hi, please can I talk to you” I can imagine
someone saying, he must be talking from his insanity, some of you would even ‘pick race
before he completes the sentence, only very few may decide to listen’ Why don’t you pause
and say, oh, it’s the mind that matters not how he appears, let me stay and talk to him. My
chaplainat school once shared a story with us in chapel. a popular G.O took two oranges,
one was green, the other looked fully ripe. He asked them which one they would choose
and all immediately pointed to the ripe one. Why didn’t they take the green one and say “it’s

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the inside that matters”, it’s because, although some green oranges maybe ripe and sweet
on the inside, it is assumed that every green orange is unripe. The moment someone
can spontaneously invite you somewhere and you don’t have to think about changing your
clothes to suit the occasion, then you must have been able to cover modesty and a high
taste in fashion, note the word “spontaneously”. I would call that a ‘modestylish fashionista.’
You’re currently on a proper outing, you receive a call, can I come and pick you up so we
can go to ….If your response 90% the time is “I can’t wear what I’m wearing to…. Then you
should consider your fashion taste. and before you say oh, so what if it’s because the outfit
doesn’t match the outing, or I just look underdressed. I’m talking about that too, covering
necessary parts of your body doesn’t mean you have to look unkempt, I repeat, modesty is
not being unkempt so whatever you’re wearing should make you look presentable in any
gathering you may find yourself. I’m not saying dress extravagant all the time, but most
times, make sure you’re dressed in a way that you can comfortably fit in any circle,
gathering.

WHAT TO DO

1] You need to discern styles and trends. Before wearing or following a trend. Think ‘To
what end?’ Does it disobey my moral, Christian values? Would God be happy to see me in
this? Would I derive peace in wearing this?

2] Ask the Holy Spirit what to wear, those are the times you end up with the best outfits, I
promise you I’m speaking from experience. It’s that day you seek the Holy Spirit’s counsel
you’d wear one dress that looks so simple and people will keep saying “I love your dress, I
love your dress” because anything the Holy Spirit is involved in becomes magnificent and
exquisite.

3] With all of these things, note that, if you dress all covered up but your heart isn’t
surrendered to God, then all is in vain.

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~ ABOUT AUTHOR ~
Okeowo Ifeoluwa is a student, a kingdomprenuer, a content creator, mobile photographer
and videographer. She is the owner of creative brand "Your Digital creative" and hair
extension brand, "ashabbyluxuryhair"

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SECTION
FIVE:
CHRONICLES
OF ELISHA

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 LIFE AT I8

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FINANCE AS AN
ASPECT OF LIFE.
~ EKUNDAYO ELISHA ~

Financial Management is an essential aspect of our daily life. We are caught up in our daily
life so much that we forget to realise the importance of financial management.

Without the knowledge of financial management, it is not possible to live a life of bondage
and know how to adequately pay your bills and get out of your financial debts. Having
necessary financial management skills will make sure that your money is managed well.

Financial Management is about meeting long term and short term financial goals. Money
can't buy happiness, but it can buy security and safety for you and your loved ones. Human
beings need money to pay for all the things that make your life possible, such as shelter,
food, healthcare bills, and a good education. You don't necessarily need to be Bill Gates or
have a lot of money to pay for these things, but you will need some money until the day
you die. Because money is necessary for obtaining the goods and services you need to
survive, an understanding of personal finance is essential. You need to be responsible with
the money you earn and save enough for the future to ensure you will still have enough left
over when you can no longer trade your labor for money. The sooner you start saving your
money, the more likely it is that you'll never face a lack of money or financial stress. In fact,
if you save enough and invest wisely, you could even become financially free - which
happens when you have enough money to live on for the rest of your life. One reason so
many people profess not to care about money is that the love of money has been described
as "the root of all evil."
It's true, materialistic people can let an obsession with money drive them to do bad things
for their own financial gain. But in reality, money is nothing more than a medium of
exchange. Money is something you'll always need. Having enough money can be quite
liberating because it gives you the freedom to buy what you need and do what you like. Just
remember, it's up to you to save so you can use money to shape your future.

Money management is an essential life skill. It is best learnt, acquired and practised while
you're young. Today, teenagers are well-informed, thanks to a multitude of resources at

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their disposal. They are also intelligent enough to understand and emulate role models
such as Warren Buffet, who started earning even before his teenage years. Teenage is a
great time to form habits. A disciplined lifestyle, health routines, eating habits, etc., formed
during the teenage years stick with you for life. Money is no different. Financial habits such
as trying to earn independently (legally), saving from it for attaining goals, and learning the
art of budgeting to get more value from your money should be practiced during the
teenage years. This creates financially responsible citizens. The culture of financial
prudence creates great families, societies and nations.

The first step to become a financially successful teen is to start earning independently.
Once you do this, savings, budgeting and investing will automatically follow.

But, how does a teenager earn?

That's not as difficult as it sounds. If a teenager has a hobby and has put in hours practicing
it, he could impart this knowledge to others and earn money. As he grows and goes to
college, a teenager could look for internships, online jobs, volunteering activities, which
would pay him money. He could also start to learn financial markets and its various
investment avenues and start investing savings to get higher returns. There are a whole lot
of ways to make money right now, thank God for the Internet which has given us the
privilege to earn legally in multiple ways. You being a teenager doesn't stop you from
making money legally.

While I was still in secondary school, I started crypto trading and I made more than $3000
which is equivalent to over N1.6 million naira as at then. I made this money legally, not like I
engaged in anything illegal or something. There are a lot of punishment attached to anyone
involved in fraud or not earning legally. We teenagers have a brighter future! So do not Let
anything take away your glory away. Forget about peer-pressure and focus on your goal.

If you study the life of very rich people, you will notice that they have started earning
young. They would also have invested their savings wisely.

Today, we are in the digital era where most teenagers have access to mobile applications
which can help them learn the art of managing their money. Even the Reserve Bank of India
allows children aged 10 and above to have prepaid cards with a top-up limit of INR. 20,000
per month. Parents must allow their teenaged children to use prepaid cards under
supervision so that they learn to manage money by themselves. This helps children focuson
money management, practice the art of budgeting and become adept at it by the time they
start earning actively.

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RICH VS POOR MINDSET:

Rich People Focus on Opportunities

Poor people focus on problems. Rich people see an opportunity in every situation and work
to explore it. Rich mindsets see potential growth. Poor mindsets see potential loss.

Rich mindset understands that the first goal is to gain a surplus of resources. Then, to use
that surplus to accelerate things. Accelerate education. Accelerate a business. Accelerate
the next generation.
Poor mindset immediately sees a surplus as an opportunity for consumption.

Rich mindset seeks to spend their time, resources, and energy on work that continues to
pay off long after the effort has been invested.

Rich mindset is all about getting a flywheel spinning. Building flywheel spinning. Building
momentum. Creating systems that continue to generate value on their own.

Poor mindset is all about the short-term returns. Hours-for-dollars. Resources invested
without an immediate return are resources wasted.

A rich mindset will tell you to be self-sufficient & build multiple streams of income. It will
tell you to build a team of smarter people than you to leverage the efforts of talented
people. The mindset of the rich is the most decisive reason why "the rich keep getting
richer, while the poor get poorer." Bill Gates has been quoted as saying, "If we weren't still
hiring great people and pushing ahead at full speed, it would be easy to fall behind and
become some mediocre company."

How do the successful differ from the rest of us? So many people do not obtain financial
freedom because they do not have one thing: the right mindset. Everything starts with how
you think about money, wealth, and success. It is not a matter of luck, birth, or connections.

The biggest differences between rich and poor people can be traced back to mindset,
outlook, and behavior. The rich and the poor don't only differ in how much they have in
their pocket, but also in how they think. Rich people have away of thinking that is different
from poor and middle-class people.

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They think differently about money, wealth, themselves, other people, and life. By doing so,
you will have some alternative beliefs in your mind from which to choose. In this way, you
can catch yourself thinking 35 poor people do and quickly switch over to how rich people
think. A positive attitude, focusing on doing the right thing over looking good, becoming a
continual learner and careful risk management are all differences between the rich and
poor. This reduces their odds of becoming poor after disaster strikes, and it helps them
achieve their financial goals over the long term. Its not really necessary to get involved in
scam or fraudulent activity to make money, there are a lot of ways to make money online.

We all want good things to happen in our lives, but too often we want it now...not later.
When it doesn't happen that way, we are tempted to ask, "When, God, when?" Most of us
need to grow in the area of trusting God instead of focusing on the "when" question. If
you're missing joy and peace, you're not trusting God. If your mind feels worn out all the
time, you're not trusting God. Finance has a role in God's purposes for humanity. Three
primary purposes of human work revealed in the Bible are to i) reveal God's glory, ii) engage
in stewardship, and iii) provide for justice and love. We will explore each of these shortly.
But first, let us note that finance- like all human endeavor-suffers from the profound,
devastating effects of sin. For example, greed and dishonesty infect finance in many
situations, directly undermining the service of God's glory, and human stewardship, justice
and love. We will explore the effects of sin in detail a bit later. To begin with, let us explore
finance according to God's original purposes for the world, giving us a glimpse of what God
intends and what might be possible through Christ's redemption. In the biblical narrative
God creates everything for his glory and honor (Colossians 1:16, Revelation 4:11). The
foundations of finance-like all of creation-reveal God's unmatched creativity. God created
time- seasons, years, and lifetimes. God knit us together so that we have the desire and
ability to live and flourish in community with a rich fabric of social interactions, one of
which involves sharing resources over time. When people share resources from one time to
another in a network of social relationships, we partake of his bountiful creation and
enliven it with the creativity and love he hasgiven us in his image. Like great music and
delicious foods, finance reveals God's glory by displaying his omnipotence and creativity in
his creation. We will develop a more detailed appreciation for God's glory in the next
section when we see that God created the eight specific foundations of finance.

What does the bible say about money?

What does the Bible say about finances and money?

The bible says many things about money, but the heart of the matter is this: money can
become something that rules our lives-an idol of sorts. God's desire is for us to have life to
the full and He knows that worshiping money will keep us from that.

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From the seduction of success to the lure of lust, many things in this world will vie for your
affection and devotion. But the most significant idol you will face is money (Matt. 6:24).

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~ ABOUT THE AUTHOR ~

Ekundayo Elisha Ayomide is a teenager who loves God. He is currently an undergraduate of
the Federal Polytechnic, Ilaro. He is a crypto trader and also a forex trader.

He believes teenagers are really precious and mighty in the hands of God and the best is to
follow his instructions so as to have a brighter future .

He also believes teenagers should work towards and not just believe in the bright future
and dedicate their lifeto serve God till eternity

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SECTION SIX:
CHRONICLES
OF
GOODNESS

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SKILL ACQUISITION
~ DEBORAH ADELEYE ~

What is a Skill? A skill can be defined as the technique or ability acquired to solve a problem
or impact a specific area. Skills, as mentioned earlier, are usually learned and acquired as
opposed to talent which is innate. What is Skill Acquisition? Skill acquisition is the act of
developing (by learning) abilities or expertise. It is to gain knowledge in achieving a purpose
or developing a product or service. Thus, skills can be acquired from several sources
depending on the type of skill and the environment. Today, all over the world, the
importance of skill acquisition cannot be overemphasized among the youths. This is not to
be little formal education, as education plays a vital role in personal and societal growth.
Regardless of your position, you need to get acquainted with every part of your
environment, so that you can contribute to the development of your society. In
fact,education exposes you to the types of skills and the importance of skill acquisition.
Why Skill Acquisition? Recently, skill acquisition among the youth has been prioritized and
has become more lucrative alongside education. It is mostly advised that individuals
acquire a skill that is duly sought for, either technical or soft skills. With various platforms
willing to share free knowledge on technical skills and soft skills, the rate of acquiring skills
has been on the rise. Skill acquisition makes you an asset to yourself and your environment,
rather than a liability or a lazy person. An adage says "idle hands are the devil's workshop".
Someone who is unoccupied will find himself in mischief. In addition to making you an
asset, skill acquisition empowers you financially.
We can also learn from various biblical characters who acquired skills and contributed
tremendously to the society, such as: Jesus, who despite his mission on earth still gave
himself to learn carpentry from his father, Simon Peter, Andrew, James and John were
fishermen, Dorcas the dressmaker (Acts9:36-43), Paul the tent maker (Acts18:3) and in our
present world, we are surrounded by people who have succeeded in making the best of
their skills. Skill acquisition makes you distinct and unique in your area of specialization.
There is a clear difference between someone who has undergone training and acquired
knowledge of how to carry out a task and another who has little to no idea about it. It gives
you an edge over others in a particular area and earns you respect as well as financial
income. The word of God, says in Ecclesiastes 10:10 "If the ax is dull and its edge
unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success. (NIV)
Skills can be divided into two major types: soft skills and hard skills. Soft skills are those
skills that come naturally and uniquely to everyone. Soft skills are applicable to all
professions. They speak about your personality. Soft skills include leadership, effective

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communication, teamwork, time management, motivation, and adaptability. On the other

hand, hard skills are specific technical skills that are gained through hands-on experience,
training, or education. They are specific to particular tasks, chosen areas of development,
or problems to solve. These skills include; Copywriting, Web development, Content
development, baking skills, graphics designing, fashion designing, and many more. Both soft
skills and hard skills are sharpened during skill acquisition. This is because you are trained
to be an expert in your chosen skill, and to develop your personal qualities as an individual.
You will come in contact with individuals with different characteristics, and different
problems and you get acquainted with survival strategies and problem solving skills in
various situations. Choosing a skill.
There are different reasons why people acquire skills. They include passion, knowledge, as
a source of income among others. Skill acquisition maybe career-induced,
passion-induced, or talent/gift induced. However, it is very important to always put God
first. Discovering who God has purposed you to be and what he has in store for you will
give you clarity on which way to go. It all starts with God, it's not about you. Col.1:16 "For
everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible ..everything got
started in him and finds its purpose in him."(MSB) Col.1:16 "Christ is the one through whom
God created everything in heaven and earth. He made the things we can see and the things
we can't see--kings, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities. Everything has been created
through him and for him."(NLT) The question of purpose has been one that has puzzled
people for years. This is because we always start from the wrong point -ourselves. We need
to understand that we didn't exist by our own will but we have a creator who has a reason
for creating us. We're like inventions in the hands of an inventor. Only the inventor or his
manual can tell the purpose for which the invention was made, not the invention itself. You
were made by God and for God and until you understand that, life will never make sense. It
is only through God we can discover our origin, identity, meaning, purpose, significance
and destiny. Every other path of self will lead to a dead end. To know more about
discovering purpose, read "The purpose-driven life" by Rick Warren.

1. You could consider skills to acquire based on your passion, talent, or career.
Sometimes, you might like to channel your talents or gifts to learning a skill, such as
dancing, or painting, while you chose an entirely different career. In any skill you desire to
acquire, it's important to note these: learn valuable skills; Your chosen skill must be able to
identify a problem and provide the solution. It must be impactful and teach you how to
think critically. In our world today, digital skills such as digital marketing, copywriting,
website development, email marketing, affiliate marketing, content writing, graphics
designing and many more are considered very useful and applicable as the world keeps
improving in technology. Therefore, either you have a handwork or not, digital skills are
also a plus to you.

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You do not have to go beyond the comfort of your home before you can work and earn
money. All you need are your digital gadgets and technical know-how.
2. Set goals for yourself. Setting goals for yourself helps you to keep track of how much you
have learned and how productive you are. It helps you to foresee how much you want to
achieve and challenges you to aspire for more and work towards that.
3. Choose the right training. There is no point in learning when it is not effective,
wherever and whosoever you are learning from has to be able to teach you to be better.
Your learning environment has to be a challenging one that encourages you and brings out
the best in you.
4. Create time to work on your skill. This is a very vital aspect of skill acquisition. Practice
they say brings about improvement. You have to put all you have learned to practice for
self-improvement, adjustment, and exposure to new ideas. Consider skill sharing. Be
Unique.

MY STORY OF SKILL ACQUISITION.

I chose to acquire baking and catering skills due to two things: passion and a desire to
overcome my phobia of the kitchen. Funny right? I took up the passion for baking from my
mom who had always been a great baker. She always made our birthdays eventful with
cakes and snacks and I had always wanted to try making some myself, hence, the passion.
Another reason was my phobia of the kitchen which I knew would be unpleasant to hear of.
I dreaded visiting the kitchen to do any chores to the extent of developing stomach pain
anytime I was in the kitchen. This was getting out of hand and as a female, I knew the
kitchen was unavoidable, so I had to look for a solution. I then decided to overcome my fear
by acquiring catering skills, which I knew were more about cooking. Every day, I'm always
grateful I took that decision because it has built my self-esteem, sharpened my
communication and collaboration skills, exposed me to greater ideas, empowered me
financially, and lots more.

FEAR OF STARTING.
I did not have so much problem starting as I was driven by so much passion. My academics
were almost affected, so when the opportunity of the lockdown in 2020 presented itself, I
had to utilize it to acquire the skill. Although, I wasn't certain when the lockdown will end, I
decided to take the risk and I am
glad I did. I'll be discussing how you can balance your academics with skill acquisition later
on, but you have to learn how to take certain reasonable risks. During the period of
learning, I realized some of my friends had also resolved to acquire one skill or the other

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but some didn't. I was baffled at why some didn't learn any skill and most of them said they
had little or no interest in learning. That sounded strange to me but I was ignorant of the
fact that not everybody might be interested in handiwork but some had other in-built skills
they could have honed such as writing, dancing, coding, photography, public speaking,
podcasting and others. This is to tell you that if you do not have any interest in handiwork
at the moment, don't join the crowd. Find yourself; find your passion, your interest, and
what works for you. As I have mentioned earlier, whenever you're about to transition into
another stage of your life, always seek God's face. Pray always! And whenever God gives you
an instruction, always obey. For anyone who has decided to acquire one skill or the other,
whether it be handiwork or online skill, prayerfully get a mentor in that area who will guide
you on how to go about it. This will give you ahead start to prepare you for the task ahead.
Talking about balancing academics and skill acquisition, depending on the type of skill you
want to acquire the how much diligence and willingness to learn you put in, you can utilize
your breaks or holidays to learn that instead of procrastinating. There are some skills
whose period of learning depends on your readiness to learn, while some have a fixed
period. The importance of skill acquisition outside the four walls of the classroom can't be
overemphasized in the present modern world. This is due to the heightened need for
technical skills which are sometimes not taught in schools.
Thus, it becomes a necessity to source for knowledge.

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~ ABOUT THE AUTHOR ~

Deborah Adeleye is a believer totally given to the service of God. She is also a content
creator, writer and an amazing baker. She creates top notch contents covering different
niches such as fiction, education, motivation, spiritual, baking, health and more. Most times
her contents are in form of
texts (Content Writing) and other times in graphics, videos and audios. Over time, she has
created amazing contents for magazines, and publications and these content has played a
huge role in making impact. Deborah loves to build relationships and connect with
intelligent minds. You can send her a message wa.me/+2348067858253. Follow her on
twitter @IreOluwa_Mide.

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SECTION
SEVEN:
CHRONICLES
OF
ANUOLUWAPO

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MENTORSHIP BY THE
SPIRIT
~ ANUOLUWAPO AKINOLA ~

Mentorship, in this day and age, has to be done by the Spirit, because the days are evil.

Growing up as a teenager, I was fascinated by the concept of mentorship. I found it so

intriguing that I wanted to have a mentor too. I felt I was abreast of what it meant to be
mentored; 'I mean isn't it just to look for someone slightly older than you, doing well in life,
has great potential, and is probably even famous?' I assumed. I was wrong. I was wrong like
every other young inexperienced person to have thought that mentorship was just about
the name, the fame and the feelings. I even went ahead to ask a couple of people to be my
mentor ……… and guess what? It didn’t turn out to be what I expected. I had the wrong
assumption about the purpose mentorship was supposed to serve in my life. Now I know
better, still a teenager, but with more exposure. I have realized that because I did not know
the purpose of mentorship, I abused and thwarted the concept of mentorship to my
pleasure.

I don’t know about you, but I believe that a handful of teenagers have the same mindset
that I had about mentorship. Thank God for knowledge. As I grew older, I discovered the
true purpose and the usefulness of mentorship to mankind, and I will be sharing a few.

WHAT IS MENTORSHIP?
Quite a number of definitions on mentorship have emerged overtime. However, all of these
definitions mostly include the concept of mentorship as a form of guidance, tutelage,
support, facilitation, and empowerment.

According to Marquardt and Loan (2006), mentoring can be defined as the “Off-line help by
one person to another in making significant transitions in knowledge, work, or thinking.”
Marquardt and Loan tried to explain the relationship as a kind of support provided by one
person with the necessary expertise and knowledge to someone else who lacked it in

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through an individual link created through regular communications over a specified

period.”
Suzanne Faure defined Mentoring as a “supportive learning relationship between a caring
individual who shares his/her knowledge, experience, and wisdom with another individual
who is ready, willing, and able to benefit from this exchange to enrich their professional
journey”.

Debola Deji-Kurunmi (DDK), my all time favourite, suggests that mentorship is meant to be
a vulnerable exchange of life and expertise, something that someone is able to transfer to
you because of the journey they have been on and the success they have accomplished.

Wikipedia records that the word ‘Mentor ‘was inspired by the character Mentor in Homer's
Odyssey. In The Odyssey (written by Homer, a Greek poet), Odysseus (known as Ulysses in
the Latin translation) was preparing to fight the Trojan War when he realized he would be
leaving behind his only son and heir, Telemachus. Since the child was young and wars
typically dragged on for years (the Trojan War lasted 10 years), Ulysses entrusted his friend
a wise man named Mentor the task of educating his son, Telemachus. Hence, the
emergence of the word Mentor.

1.1 WHY GET MENTORED?

While there are a lot of benefits that mentorship gives, the points I will discuss below are
the roles mentorship can play in the life of a Christian teenager.

It gives you hope for a bright future:

Mentorship enables you to envision and project a better life for yourself. It validates your
dream for a bright future. The results you see a mentor accomplish opens you up to
embracing a better perspective of life and confirms to you that what you desire for your
future is possible.That the vision that is burning in your heart can become a reality.

When you see a person whose today looks like the future you anticipate, you get a sort of
validation that is an important part of humanity.The validation you get as a result of your
mind being exposed, causes you to gravitate in the direction of the person who looks like
where you are going.

It offers shortcuts:
Experience is not always the best teacher, observation can be. Mentorship offers you short
cut on your journey of life. Mentorship is like someone handing over to you a guideline on
how to live and not live. With this sort of guidance, your chances of making mistakes that

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will bring you to a halt in your life’s journey drastically reduces. With mentorship, you get
to pick up cogent life lessons from experiences that did not happen to you. You don’t allow
have to make your own mistakes and learn your own lessons in a tedious form. Mentorship
brings ease to your life.

It gives you mental exposure:

‘If you know you know, if you don’t know, you need exposure’- Pastor Mayowa Ijesesan (wife
of the senior partner, Kingsword International). Mental exposure paints images of your
future possibilities into your mind. It allows you to live in your future before you step into
it. It expands your thinking horizon and widens your perspective on things. With a mentor,
the horizon of your mind expands, you get to see more possibilities of what your life can
look like and what you can achieve because you are introduced into an environment of
opulence, opportunities, no hold back, possibilities, and tremendous success. Hence, with
mentorship, you are opened to another reality of life and you develop a healthy mindset
that is needed for you to succeed and thrive in your world.

Accountability:
Everyone needs a form of accountability to keep them on track and mentorship does that. A
mentor can hold your hands and ensure you deliver when you have to. Mentorship keeps
you on your toes, and helps you not to relent even when you are tired and you can’t seem
to get a hang of the hurdle around you. Mentorship holds your hands till you deliver.

Growth:
When you are in a mentorship relationship, you experience growth faster than those
around you, because you are under the tutelage of a more experienced and more matured
mind. A mentor is someone who has paid the testament of endurance, the proof of
persistence, the discipline of destiny in a particular field and has emerged as an authority
or thought leader with undeniable mastery of that system. Mentors are those who have
paid the price of endurance, persistence, and discipline, so having one is an absolute
leverage that will help you revolve and bloom into the dimension of yourself that you need
to fulfill God’s purpose for your life. Hence, mentors are God's secret weapons to bring you
into alignment with your purpose and destiny by causing you to grow.

In conclusion, as a teenager you need mentoring because there is a dimension of you we

will never uncover fully until you encounter your teachers, mentors, forerunners, midwives,
coaches, and models. Mentoring is the influence, training, guidance, advice, support, and
encouragement given by a mentor to help you grow and develop into your full potential.

1.2 BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF MENTORSHIP

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To show that mentorship is scriptural, this segment will showcase and shed light on
Christian mentorship found in the scriptures. I personally believe that the term mentorship
is the modern and secular form of discipleship as seen in the scriptures. Ever heard of the
notion that the world generates its principles, ideas and concepts from scriptures? I guess
here is where it all comes to play (inserts wink). Some examples of mentorship I have
discovered in the scripture and I’ll advise that you emulate in your mentorship relationship
are:

Jesus and his Disciples:

The way God in human flesh instilled the core Christian values into them, taught them,
assigned tasks to them, like sharing of bread, giving them the great commission and all that
is certainly mentorship. I believe that Jesus is not done with the business of mentoring men
yet. He primarily does this through the Holy Ghost. This is why I’ll advise that before you go
to men for mentorship, allow the God of the man you are running off to mentor you first.
I’ll expatiate on this further in other segments.

Barnabas and Paul:

Barnabas helped Paul as a new convert find his foot in the faith and even recommended or
approved of him to other believers.

Paul and Timothy:

Surprisingly, Paul went ahead to do the same to Timothy.

Mordecai and Esther:

Asides, Mordecai being Esther’s uncle, we see in scriptures that he played the role of a
mentor to her. He recognised her potential, instructed her and opened her up to certain
possibilities for her. Mordecai’s and Esther’s relationship also opens us up to the
possibilities of having a relative as a mentor. Not all mentors need to be famous.

Other examples are: Elijah and Elisha Elisha and Gehazi

1.3 FINDING THE RIGHT MENTOR.

Getting the right person who is credible to guide you and impact you on your journey of
purpose and greatness can be quite daunting, especially for us as young believers. Hence, in
this segment, we will be exploring the possibilities of who is fit and who is not fit to wear
the shoes of mentoring you or being mentor to you.

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Mentorship is a vital part of human life. Having someone to hold you accountable in life,
someone you can submit to, and someone who can pour into you is a huge blessing in life.
However, mentorship the wrong way can be a stumbling block on one's path to achieving
greatness.
A mentor plays a sensitive role in one's life, hence the same way you won't handover your
most- prized possession to a person who hasn't proved his or her trustworthiness or who
hasn't earned your trust, is the same way you shouldn't submit your life and destiny to
someone who isn't credible.

WHO SHOULD BE YOUR MENTOR?

1. A person God leads you to:

While there are certain signs to look out for in a mentor, such as the person's belief, results,
availability, and the likes, this write-up is directed to Christian teenagers. I'll firstly be
expatiating on the vital element to look out for in a mentor as a person of the Spirit.
Mentorship has to be done by the Spirit for us as believers. As believers, we are not to make
decisions based off our feelings and head knowledge; rather we make decisions as led by
the Spirit, even in situations where the ways of the Spirit isn’t conventional. This means
that we do not choose mentors based on their celebrity status, instagram following, the
number of people they have mentored, and even something as valid as the result they have.
Choose your mentor because you believe God led you to. For as many as are led by the
Spirit of God, they are children of God. If you do not know how to be led by the Holy Spirit,
you have not started walking fully in the purpose of God for your life, which is wrong. We
are God’s workmanship; hence as children of God, we are to be led daily by the Spirit of
God. Receiving the leading of the Holy Spirit comes from a place of fellowship and building
a constant relationship with the Holy Spirit. God wants you to have a mentor because he
leads us with men; however, he wants to mentor you first, before someone else begins to
mentor you. You ought to have a stable relationship with the Holy Ghost first, before
looking out for someone who can guide you in walking in purpose as a mentor. If God isn’t
already leading you, then you have no business getting a mentor yet, find GOD first, before
you find a mentor. God wants to give you a leader after his own heart, but he wants to lead
your life first, he wants to lead you to your mentor. This is a call, to us as teenagers who are
still taking koinonia with God with levity. It is time to do better; it is time to seek God first,
so you can get all your other needs attended to, including mentorship.
Lastly, as you seek the face of God, not just on mentorship, but on other aspects of your
life, be rest assured that God will give you not just any leader but his child who is also
submitted to him as you are.

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2. Aligned values:
When choosing a mentor, look out for someone who you both share core values and belief
with. Checkout if the things you hold dear and the values you highly esteem are as well
important to them. This is important because if your values are not united, then they would
not be impacting you positively and you don’t want to do that.

3. Results that motivate:

A mentor should be chosen by what DDK calls ‘’Gap Analysis’’ this is the distance between
where you are and where you will love to be. Hence, choose a mentor that is successful in
the area you are seeking to grow.In order to effectively do this, you have to be clear about
what you want in mentorship, you are to identify where you currently are, and where you
aspire to be. Your mentor’s accomplishment should inspire you.

4. Integrity:
Your mentor should be a person with an upright character, who has a good reputation;
someone who is disciplined enough to raise you for life and destiny.

5. Availability:
Your mentor should be someone who is available and present to you. Choose a mentor who
can make out time for you and who is excited to pour out into you.

WHO SHOULD NOT BE YOUR MENTOR?

Dear teenager, the same way you have little or no business making friends with certain
people, getting involved in certain relationships, associating with certain people or even
hanging out in certain environments as a result of your identity in Christ Jesus, is the same
way you have no business getting involved with certain people in the name of mentorship.
I’ll briefly look into a few set of people that are not permitted to be your mentor.

Someone who doesn’t reverence God.

Someone who cuts corner to succeed.
Someone who is involved in illegal activities e.g gambling, prostitution, drug abuse etc.
Someone who does not have a regard for people and humanity
Someone who perpetually puts others down
A sexual pervert etc.

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Lastly, Dear Christian teenager I want you to resist the urge to go into a mentorship
relationship because of a supposed mentor’s social standing. Do not get into a mentorship
relationship because the supposed mentor is famous. That is not what mentorship is about,
of course it’s okay to have a famous mentor, however it is unwise to attach yourself to your
mentor’s fame and draw your validation, sense of worth and identity from it. Hence, check
yourself, if the only reason you want a mentor is because you want to be identified with
their celebrity status, then back out, because you are at the edge of thwarting the concept
of mentorship to fit your personal desire.

1.4 STEPS TO GETTING MENTORED

1. Prayerfully Pick A Mentor;
It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: But the honour of kings is to search out a matter.

Proverbs 25:2 KJV

Mentorship has to be done by the Spirit for us as believers. God knows all things. Hence, we
can not afford not to partner with him when it comes to making decisions. God wants to
give us leaders after his heart as youngsters, (I'll give you leaders after my heart, and you’ll
hear a voice behind you).

I know that it may seek logical to pick just anyone who has the result we desire in our field
of interest as a mentor, but the result is not enough. I will encourage us to be discerning
because the result is not enough. What is the essence of a result gotten from ill means or
gotten in ways that are not supported by the kingdom of God? So whether you are
choosing a mentor in leadership, career, business, or Spirituality, the first thing I'll advise
you to do is; to be led by God, because the days are evil.
I do not mean to be extra, but scripture tells us to acknowledge God in all our paths and
he'll direct us, the same way we ask God for provision, and we intend to ask him for a
spouse or ask for a pressing demand, such as passing an examination in flying colors or
succeeding in life, is the same way I'll advise you to ask God for a mentor (a leader after his
heart for you). I once heard that your leader is God's wisdom to you, and a mentor plays the
role of leadership in one's life. You can't afford to be careless with it, your mentor as a
leader has a defining and important role to play in your life, you cannot choose someone
who is lackadaisical with you, who isn't pouring out the right values into you, who is not
committed or available for you as a mentor, it is of no use to you.
Furthermore when you allow the Holy Spirit to lead you, he guides you with wisdom and
directs you on how to reach out to the said person.

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2. Have a vision;
And the LORD answered me, and said, ‘Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that
he may run that readeth it’.
Habakkuk 2:2 KJV
A vision is a mental picture of the future. A man without a vision is undeserving of
mentorship, because what exactly is to be mentored? Your life? Telling someone you want
them to mentor your life in general is not encouraging and it doesn’t even speak well about
your person. Go into a mentorship relationship with set expectations, goals and ambitions.
Have a clear picture of what you would love to get from the relationship. This way, you will
be more committed and keen on achieving your said mentorship goals and you are not just
going through the motions. In other words, be concise and articulate about what you desire
and need from your mentoring relationship.

3. Follow them from afar:

What I mean by follow them from afar is that before you reach out to someone for
mentorship, interact adequately with every of their resources that they have released. This
way, you get to familiarize yourself with the person’s ideal. Furthermore, when you relate
with the person material, you are actually getting mentored from afar and this certainly
goes a long way, because not everyone will agree to be your mentor and even if they want
to, they might not be opportune as a result of their tight schedule or physical barrier etc.
After interacting with the person’s resources and you still feel the urge to learn more from
them, then you can reach out to them directly.

4. Reach out with clear expectations:

When you reach out to a mentor, please reach out with clear expectations. Do not let it end
at please be my mentor. Why should they be your mentor? Be specific about why you want
them to be your mentor. Also, be courteous and strategic. One of the ways you can be
courteous is by not telling the person to go and pray about it, it sounds spooky and
superficial. The personyou are reaching out might be a believer, you are reaching out for
mentorship, they know that they should pray about it, asides that, rather than telling them
to pray about it, give them cogent reasons why they should take you up as a mentee and
leave them to be led just as you were. Be strategic too, communicate your vision with the
person and you don’t always have to walk up to the person directly to ask for mentorship,
you can join their mentorship programs if they have one that you know or make yourself
irresistible to them by serving their dreams in any avenue that you can. Infact, I have
observed that those who reach out directly for mentorship don’t always get that, even if the
supposed mentor agrees to be their mentor. This leads me to the next point, come with
value.

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5. Bring value:
My dear Christian teenager, go into that mentorship relationship with value that can not be
resisted. This is why you first of all need to have a vision to be someone that needs
mentoring. If you are a graphics designer, you can start off a mentorship relationship by
designing for free for your mentor, this is why you should be led by the Holy Spirit, so you
don’t fall into the hand of the person that will abuse your gifts and potential. Everyone
needs help, try to identify where the person you desire to be mentored by needs help and
seek to offer solution. When you offer value, a person with a good intention will not
overlook you, that way you get the access you need and your mentor is also benefiting from
you. Nobody really wants to give out except they have something to get in return, Your
mentor will be motivated to serve you more when you are also serving their vision. If you
are an asset you get access.

1.5 ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES IN A

MENTORSHIP RELATIONSHIP.
A mentorship situation is a sort of partnership, and in every partnership, there are certain
duties expected of each party. You have a part to play, and so does your mentor.

THE ROLES OF A MENTOR;

1. Accountability; A mentor serves as a guide and support for the mentee's goals and
objectives. The mentor must be able to hold the mentee accountable. Submit your goals to
your mentor and have them assist you you accomplish your objectives. Having someone
you highly esteem hold you accountable, makes you more determined to achieve your goals
in order not to disappoint them. A mentor should be able to follow up on your progress in
life and ensure that you are truly getting results and you are achieving your said aims

2. Correction; If you don't have a father, you can't go further in life – P.Daniel Olawande. I
don't believe that P.Daniel just said this because he wanted to give us rhyming rhemas to
soothe our ears and massage our emotions. When I pondered on this, I realised that as a
result of this phase of our lives as teenagers and our level of exposure, we are prone to not
getting some things right, the hard truth is, we are prone to making silly mistakes, not
because we are fools, of course, we aren't, but we just might not have the exposure and
knowledge needed to handle certain life situations and crises. As much as we have the Holy

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Spirit for this, I have observed that throughout scripture, God was intentional about using
men to raise men. God loves all men, and one of the ways I believe he shows us his love is
by giving us the gift of men to discipline and raise us for destiny. Once again, the phrase
"your leader is God's wisdom to you" applies to the point being discussed. One of the
benefits of mentorship is that you get to be corrected in love when going off track.
Furthermore, I'll love to mention that being corrected in love doesn't exclude your mentors
from saying the truth, and this can include them sounding harsh.

3. Teach: Again, God uses men for us. He can teach us all we need to know, but he has
promised us in his word that he will send teachers to us. A mentorship relationship is an
informal means of education. Your mentor is to instil core life values in you, and pass down
knowledge and value that he/she has gathered over time through past experiences either
in your career field or life generally. You are to gain life lessons from your mentor. Mentors
are to share their knowledge and experience with mentees.

4. Advice: One thing I love to do when I'm stranded while making a decision is to reach out
to my mentors aside from the Holy Spirit. Do you know why? Because 99.5% of the time,
they tell me what the Holy Spirit would have said to me, some of them even refer me back
to the word of God as they advise me. This whole experience has a way of making me awe
at the goodness of God towards me and how he is intentional about raising me, even with
the gift of mentors. This doesn't happen to me because I am any more special than you. It is
because I have learnt to be mentored first by the Holy Spirit before going to be mentored
by man. Who do you run to when you need advice? In a situation, like the one I just
mentioned above, a mentor who is Spirit-led will do justice to giving you advice that is
scriptural and one that will glorify God.

5. Intentionality: A mentor must be intentional about raising the mentee for greatness in
life. Like Paul was invested in seeing Timothy great in ministry, purpose, and life, a mentor
should be invested in his/her mentee's growth. Signs of an intentional mentor are available,
easily accessible, vulnerable, committed and believes in you.
An available mentor dedicates his/ her time to you and is never too busy. No matter how
tight their schedule is, they prioritize you by paying attention to your needs.
An easily available mentor is always welcoming you regardless of how messed up you might
seem. You can ask them questions and expect honest feedback and criticism.
A vulnerable mentor is transparent. They just don't train you with the words of their mouth.
You get raised by their lifestyle even without them uttering a word. They aren't trying to
impress you to earn your respect. A vulnerable mentor shares past ugly experiences and
incidents with you, and some may go as far as sharing current situations with you even
when they know clearly that they can't help you (although for this to happen, you need to
have proven yourself as one who can be relied upon).

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A committed mentor is invested in the mentorship relationship. He/she is ready to support

you in your journey of growth. The person's delight is in your transformation and evolution
to a better version of you.
Lastly, a mentor who believes in you affirms your dreams and aspirations. Such a person is
convinced about your greatness and encourages you to grow and become a better version
of yourself.

Dear teenager, there are certain roles and responsibilities you as a mentee will also have to
play in any mentorship relationship you find yourself in. Some of them are;

1. Submit
2. Pray for your mentor
3. Express Vulnerability
4. Show appreciations
5. Commit to the relationship

1. Submit: By submitting in your mentorship relationship, it means you are willing to be the
student. I've made this mistake a lot of times with my mentors, trying to show off my
knowledge in a certain area, over time I have discovered that this isn't the right thing to do.
To get the best out of your mentor be teachable, be willing to listen more, talk less and do
more listening. That way, you will be like a sponge exfoliating values and knowledge from
your mentor as the sponge draws from soap. Don't try to show off your knowledge in a
mentorship relationship, milk off knowledge and value instead. Also always observe your
mentor's lifestyle. You'll be surprised that when you do, you will learn more about them and
their lifestyle. Action speaks louder than words remember.Don't have a mentor whose
instruction or advice you will discard or ignore. If you are going to have them as a mentor,
you'll have to honour them. Furthermore, submission to your mentor should be based on
the word of God. If their instruction or advice will cost you the kingdom of God, or it defies
kingdom principles, then flees. Flee just as Joseph did when he was seduced by Potiphar's
wife. This is why you need to build a relationship with the Holy Spirit, so you can know his
ways and discern when a supposed mentor is leading you astray. An example of a
mentorship relationship you should walk out of and not submit is when your mentor
harasses you sexually or demands a sexual relationship with you. An unbeliever is
permitted to do that, but not you, Abba's beloved, you were bought with a price and your
body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

2. Pray for your Mentor:

Your mentor is human, and as such might fall into errors or be faced with trials and
tribulations. No matter how sweet and kind your mentor is if things aren't going well for
them, there is a probability that they won't be able to effectively serve you and pay

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attention to you. Hence, pray for them, pray that they are kept and preserved by God. Bible
encourages us to pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Jerusalem here is your mentor. Spend
time interceding for them and bless God for sending them to your life.

3. Express vulnerability;
Communication is essential in building an effective mentor-mentee relationship. Learn to
keep Communication with your mentor. Ask them questions, express your feelings, and
ideas freely to your mentor, be open and free with your mentor without disrespecting them
and allow them to help you. It is you who needs mentoring, hence reach out more. Don’t
hide from them, allow them to guide you in making the right decision.

4. Show Appreciation;
Everyone loves to be appreciated, when you appreciate and compliment your mentor's
effort, they are spurred to do more. Let your mentor know you are learning and
appreciative of their time and effort.
You could show your gratitude to your mentor by serving.
Mentorship is more effective when the benefit is mutual. Imagine having someone offering
a helping hand in personal projects, your heart goes out to them, right?
That's exactly how your mentor feels when you invest or commit to something that matters
to them. It inspires them to take more interest in you and it makes them feel loved and
appreciated by you. Serving or helping your mentor is one of the ways to appreciate them
for their efforts in your life. Other ways to show appreciation to your mentor is by buying
them gifts, celebrating and promoting their work, verbal appreciation etc.

5. Be committed to the relationship;

In recent times, I have observed that most mentoring relationships don't thrive or go far
due to the lack of commitment and availability of the mentee. Although both parties should
be committed, I advise that the mentee is more committed, since you are the student of the
relationship. Drive the relationship to produce the result you expect. Show commitment to
the relationship by being available to be taught, initiating topics to be discussed, discussing
your development and growth so far in the relationship, scheduling meetings and earning
your mentor's trust.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ON

MENTORSHIP

CAN I HAVE MORE THAN ONE MENTOR?

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YES, you can, so far they both share similar values and you can submit to them both
without slacking in your relationship with any of them. However, I have observed that one
mentor will have more impact than the other or you will prefer one mentor to the other
and probably even interact with one than the other. I also don’t believe they will have equal
impact on you.

AS A CHRISTIAN TEENAGER, CAN I HAVE A MENTOR WHO IS

AN UNBELIEVER?

Hmmn, this is quite a tacky and tricky question. However, I would say, it depends on the
area of your life that is being mentored, if it is in your career or academics, may be a yes,
but when it comes to mentorship in major life decision, that is going to be a no from my
side. Your relationship with an unbelieving mentor should have a limit. Remember Esther
and Daniel were also mentored by unbelievers. While Daniel was mentored by the king’s
official on how to relate with the king, when it came to eating the meal sacrificed to gods,
he choose not to obey his unbelieving mentor, he chose the word of God instead and
believed it firmly so much that he was able to convince the official about his choice. Esther
on the other hand, took trainings from the king’s eunuch on how to also act in the palace,
but when it came to delivering her people from captivity, she stood her ground and the
Bible does not mention her receiving instructions from him on how to partner with God to
set her people free.

CAN I HAVE A MENTOR OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER?

Yes you can, however let boundaries be in place.

IS IT OKAY FOR A MENTORSHIP RELATIONSHIP TO COME TO

AN END?

YES, I see mentorship as halfway between partnership and friendship. Just as these
relationships, sometimes come to an end, so does mentorship. I believe that a mentoring
relationship can be seasonal. You might no longer need a mentor because you are in a new

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season of your life or the mentorship goal has been accompanied etc. This is why it is
expedient for you as a child of God, to be sensitive to the dealings of the Holy Spirit with
you. So far you are convinced that the mentorship relation has elapsed its purpose, then
end things amicably, on a good note. You do not want to hurt someone who has invested so
much in you or make them feel betrayed. I would also love to add that, be sure that you are
not deserting your mentor because of a misunderstanding. I have observed that in
situations like this, when things come to an end, both parties usually feel betrayed,
disappointed, remorseful or regrets.

CAN I HAVE PEOPLE MENTOR ME FROM AFAR?

Absolutely, not everyone is to personally mentor you. In this social media age, it is possible
and quite efficient to have a great mind you admire from afar mentor you through the
resources, contents and materials they put out.

CAN A RELATIVE BE MY MENTOR?

YES, a mentor doesn’t necessarily have to be a stranger who we perceive to be influential

and prestigious. A family member who is credible enough can fit into the role of a mentor.

~ ABOUT THE AUTHOR ~

Anuoluwapo Akinola is a student of English and literature in the department of languages
and literature Lead City University.

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She is an ardent lover of God and a steward of some ministry expressions like Esthers In
Pergamum, Myadaia, and friendscommunity, Leadcity women prays and a radio host of the
‘She blooms’ radio talkshow on lead city 89. 1 fm.

She loves to see herself as a young global voice, a destiny and transformation catalyst.
She is resolute on her vision to see young ladies like her thrive and grow into their kingdom
mandate.

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APPRECIATION
~ ODERINDE RACHAEL ~

I am filled with gratitude as I reflect on the journey of creating this book. It has been a labor
of love, and I am grateful for the unwavering support of so many people who have made it
possible.
First and foremost, I want to thank my Heavenly Father for inspiring me with the vision to
bring together a team of teenage writers to share our experiences. I am grateful for the
gifts and talents He has given me, and for the opportunity to use them to make a difference
in the world.

I am also deeply grateful to my parents for their constant love, encouragement, and
support throughout this process. You have been my biggest cheerleaders, and I could not
have done this without you.
To my incredible team of co-authors, thank you for sharing your stories and experiences
with me. You are all such talented and brave writers, and I am honored to have worked with
you.
To the Teenagers Experience Team, thank you for your assistance and contributions to the
success of this book. Your hard work, dedication, and support have been invaluable, and I
am grateful for the opportunity to work alongside such an amazing group of people.
To Ogunleye Deborah, my amazing editor, thank you for your guidance and expertise in
helping to shape this book. Your insights and suggestions were invaluable, and I am grateful
for your partnership in bringing this project to life.
Adelaja Marvellous who edited the book cover,Aburumaku Dolapo who assisted in the
finishing of this book,this wouldn't be a success without you. Thank you for your assistance
and inputs.
And to every person who has contributed to my growth and development along the way,
whether through your friendship, mentorship, or support, thank you. I am blessed to be
surrounded by such an incredible community of people.

Finally, to every teenager who reads this book, I hope that our stories and experiences will
resonate with you and remind you that you are not alone. You are loved, you are valued,
and you are capable of great things. May you be inspired to live your best life, and to pursue
your dreams with courage, passion, and determination.

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

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