GRADE

12

Personal
Development
Quarter 2 – Module 9

Building and
Maintaining
Relationships
JONATHAN EROLON

(Student’s Full Name)

STEM 12 D ST PEDRO CALUNGSOD
__________________________
(Strand and Section)
 Competency
15 and 16  discuss an understanding of teen-age relationships,
including the acceptable and unacceptable expressions of
attractions
 express his/her ways of showing attraction, love, and
commitment
 identify ways to become responsible in a relationship

In the long run and on you own, you will be able to appraise one’s present relationships
and make plans for building responsible future relationships and putting God as the
center of the long lasting relationship.

At the end of the module, you will be able to:

1. discuss an understanding of teen-age relationships, including the acceptable

and unacceptable expressions of attractions,
2. express your ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment; and
3. identify ways to become responsible in a relationship.

Initial Task: STATEMENTS ON RELATIONSHIPS

State whether these statements are True or False.

1. It is important to work on communicating our feelings in relationships.

2. To love someone, we must love our self-first.

3. Trying to understand where other people are coming from rather than judging them helps us
build and maintain relationships.

4. Having a good relationship does not contribute anything to us having good health.

5. When people listen deeply and let us know that they recognize the feeling behind our words,
more likely than not, our relationship is doing good.

6. In our relationships, it is vital that we practice forgiveness when a loved one has hurt us.
7. Our loved ones cannot help us when we deal with stress.

8. Using positive methods to resolve conflict will more likely help us maintain good relationships.

9. Expressing gratitude to our friends and family help us maintain good relationships.

10. Significant differences in core values and beliefs never create a problem in
relationships.

11. We are happy in our relationships when our loved ones stay connected by spending time with us
and letting us know that they love us.

12. Excessive reliance on social media can be a cause of tension in relationships.

13. Relationships are static; they are unchangeable.

14. Being compassionate, forgiving and grateful contribute to healthy relationships.

15. To fully enjoy and benefit from relationships we need skills, information, inspiration, practice,
and social support.
 Activating Prior Knowledge

Big Question: How does knowing more about attraction, love, and commitment
help you become more responsible in a relationship?

Based on my experience on love with my 10 ex, and now I am single, I learned more a lot of knowledge about
love, love does not need to ask, because love need to wait at the right time, because the only god can give a
perfect love for you or a perfect partner for your life. And love or if there is someone to our life that we make
special we need to be a responsible man or women to our partner because love’s need respect and
understanding, we know that there is a time that we experience the pain or heart break, but remember that
kind of experiences is a kind of challenge, just imagine if you are a single, then there is so many struggles in life,
but after that ma solved ra diay, so pwede rin e apply with partner when it comes na dadating sa yan sa buhay
niyo, just keep fight strong because aka nga nila na, ang matatag na relasyon hindi yan makikita sa salita kundi sa
gawa, sabay kayong lumlaban, that thy we need understanding, kailan rin ng respeto, dahil dadating sa buhay
natin yung mga selos ganyan, pero kung mahal mo, hindi ka gagawa ng bagay na ikakasira niyo or pag simulan
niyo ng away, the love needs happiness para iwas gulo, time, attention and loyalty, because if you have that 3
even kana lang tapos marunong karin mapag kumbaba okay yun, but there is some love na kung ayaw niya
talaga eh wag muna pilitin because for you it is a right man but into god is not, so that’s why is the best is wait
for the will of god for you, because if ang mag bigay hindi mo na kailangang magtanong pa sa sarili mo na ito na
kaya? Because god’s will is the best hindi hahayaan ng diyos na hindi talaga kayo ma kasal.

Lecturette

Reading: WHAT DO WE MEAN BY

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS?
The concept of relationship is very
broad and complex. In our model, personal
relationships refer to close connections between
people, formed by emotional bonds and
interactions. These bonds often grow from and https://buffer.com/resources/mentoring/
are strengthened by mutual experiences.

Relationships are not static; they are

continually evolving, and to fully enjoy and
benefit from them, we need skills, information,
inspiration, practice,
In our model andare
there social support.
three kinds of personal relationships:
Family

The concept of "family" is an essential component in any discussion of relationships, but

this varies greatly from person to person. The Bureau of the Census defines family as "two or
more persons who are related by birth, marriage, or adoption and who live together as one
household." But many people have family they don't live with or to whom they are not bonded
by love, and the roles of family vary across cultures as well as throughout your own lifetime.
Some typical characteristics of a family are support, mutual trust, regular interactions, shared
beliefs and values, security, and a sense of community.
 Although the concept of "family" is one of the oldest in human nature, its definition has
evolved considerably in the past three decades. Non-traditional family structures and roles can
provide as much comfort and support as traditional forms.

Friends

A friendship can be thought of as a close tie between two people that is often built upon
mutual experiences, shared interests, proximity, and emotional bonding. Friends are able to
turn to each other in times of need. Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, social-network
researchers and authors of the book Connected, find that the average person has about six close
ties—though some have more, and many have only one or none.

Note that online friends don’t count toward close ties—research indicates that a large
online network isn’t nearly as powerful as having a few close, real-life friends.
Partnerships

Romantic partnerships, including marriage, are close relationships formed between two
people that are built upon affection, trust, intimacy, and romantic love. We usually experience
this kind of relationship with only one person at a time.

Reading: WHY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

ARE IMPORTANT

Healthy relationships are a vital component of

health and wellbeing. There is compelling evidence that
strong relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and
happy life. Conversely, the health risks from being alone or
isolated in one's life are comparable to the risks associated
with cigarette smoking, blood pressure, and obesity.
Research shows that healthy relationships can help you:

• Live longer. A review of 148 studies found that people with strong social
relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely. Similarly, Dan Buettner’s Blue
Zones research calculates that committing to a life partner can add 3 years to life
expectancy (Researchers Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler have found that men’s
life expectancy benefits from marriage more than women do.)
• Deal with stress. The support offered by a caring friend can provide a buffer against
the effects of stress. In a study of over 100 people, researchers found that people who
completed a stressful task experienced a faster recovery when they were reminded of
people with whom they had strong relationships. (Those who were reminded of
stressful relationships, on the other hand, experienced even more stress and higher
blood pressure.)
• Be healthier. According to research by a psychologist Sheldon Cohen, college
students who reported having strong relationships were half as likely to catch a
common cold when exposed to the virus. In addition, 2012 international Gallup poll
found that people who feel they have friends and family to count on are generally
more satisfied with their personal health than people who feel isolated. And hanging
out with healthy people increases your own likelihood of health—in their book
Connected, Christakis and Fowler show that non-obese people are more likely to have
non-obese friends because healthy habits spread through our social networks.

• Feel richer. A survey by the National Bureau of Economic Research of 5,000 people
found that doubling your group of friends has the same effect on your wellbeing as a
50% increase in income!
On the other hand, low social support is linked to a number of health consequences,
such as:

• Depression. Loneliness has long been commonly associated with depression, and now
research is backing this correlation up: a 2012 study of breast cancer patients found
that those with fewer satisfying social connections experienced higher levels of
depression, pain, and fatigue.

• Decreased immune function. The authors of the same study also found a correlation
between loneliness and immune system dysregulation, meaning that a lack of social
connections can increase your chances of becoming sick.

• Higher blood pressure. University of Chicago researchers who studied a group of 229 adults
over five years found that loneliness could predict higher blood pressure even years later,
• indicating that the effects of isolation have long-lasting consequences.
According to psychiatrists Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz, social alienation is an
inevitable result of contemporary society's preoccupation with materialism and frantic "busy-
ness." Their decades of research support the idea that a lack of relationship can cause multiple
problems with physical, emotional, and spiritual health. The research is clear and devastating:
isolation is fatal.

Reading: 25 MOST COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

Here is the list of the most common relationship problems most often encountered by
couples

1. Affairs / infidelity / cheating. This includes emotional infidelity, one-night stands,

internet relationships (including ‘sexting’), long- and short-term affairs and financial
infidelity
2. Sexual Issues, particularly loss of libido and including questions around your gender, or
your partner's gender
3. Significant differences in core values and beliefs
4. Life stages – you have ‘outgrown’ each other or have ‘changed’ significantly for
whatever reason
5. Traumatic and/or Life-Changing Events
6. Responses to prolonged periods of Stress, such as Work-Related Stress, long-term
illness, mental health issues, Financial Problems, problems with the children,
infertility and many more
7. Bored in or with Your Relationship
8. Dealing with a jealous partner
9. Having 'blended' family issues
10. Domestic violence, which includes verbal as well as physical abuse:
THE most serious relationship problem.
11. Knowing you should not have got married in the first place!
12. Lack of responsibility regarding finances, children, health and many other issues
13. Unrealistic Expectations- still thinking your partner / spouse is the princess / knight
and not seeing the 'real' human being
14. Addictions - substance abuse
15. Excessive reliance on social media, at the cost of the relationship
16. Lack of support during particularly difficult times from people that matter to you
17. Manipulation or over-involvement in your relationships with family or friends
18. Lack of communication about important matters
 19. Poor division of and / or one-sided lack of responsibility for chores and tasks. It is not
always women who complain about this relationship problem!

20. Perceived lack of concern, care and consideration / attentiveness: feeling the
relationship is one-sided is a big one!
21. Significant personal disappointments and traumas that lead to a change in
relationship dynamics
22. Long term depression or other mental health issues suffered by one partner or
both
23. Significant differences in opinion on how to discipline / deal with the children
24. Long-term stress, particularly when not taking responsibility for doing
something positive to address the cause, or about learning to handle it if it cannot
be changed
25. An unsupportive partner during pregnancy and/or significant problems after
the birth of your baby.

We wouldn’t be surprised if you have found that you are experiencing several of these
relationship problems, but you know what? However difficult this time is for you we promise
you that this too will pass. We are rooting for you and we know that you will be happy again.
You don’t have to wait and hope for better times – together we can do something about it now!

The person you love (or used to love) was always bound to hurt you - it's sadly a fact of life
and we all do it to each other. However, we can become better at solving our relationship
problems by taking responsibility for ourselves.

Reading: NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Connect with your family

One of the biggest challenges for families to stay connected is the busy pace of life. But Blue
Zones research states that the healthiest, longest-living people in the world all have something
in common: they put their families first. Family support can provide comfort, support, and even
influence better health outcomes while you are sick. Relationships and family author Mimi Doe
recommends connecting with family by letting little grievances go, spending time together, and
expressing love and compassion to one another. Of course, the same practices apply to close
friends as well. This is especially important if you don’t have living family, or have experienced
difficult circumstances, such as abuse, that would make it difficult for you to connect with your
relatives.
Practice gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most accessible positive emotions, and its effects can strengthen
friendships and intimate relationships. One 2010 study found that expressing gratitude toward
a partner can strengthen the relationship, and this positive boost is felt by both parties—the one
who expresses gratitude and the one who receives it. Remembering to say “thank you” when a
friend listens or your spouse brings you a cup of coffee can set off an upward spiral of trust,
closeness, and affection.

Learn to forgive

It’s normal for disagreements or betrayal to arise in relationships, but your choice about
how to handle the hurt can have a powerful effect on the healing process. Choosing to forgive
can bring about a variety of benefits, both physical and emotional. Fred Luskin, head of the
Stanford Forgiveness Project, says it’s easier to let go of the anger or hurt feelings associated
with a circumstance if you remind yourself that much of your distress is really coming from the
thoughts and feelings you are having right now while remembering the event—not the event
itself. Don’t be afraid to clearly articulate why you are upset, but once the other party has
listened, be willing to lay down your anger and move on.
Be compassionate

Compassion is the willingness to be open to yourself and others, even in painful times,
with a gentle, nonjudgmental attitude. When you feel compassionate toward another person—
whether a romantic partner, friend, relative, or colleague— you open the gates for better
communication and a stronger bond. This doesn’t mean taking on the suffering of others, or
absorbing their emotions. Rather, compassion is the practice of recognizing when someone else
is unhappy or whose needs aren’t being met and feeling motivated to help them. We are an
imitative species: when compassion is shown to us, we return it.

Accept others

It is also important to be accepting of the other person in the relationship. Obviously,

this does not apply in situations of abuse or unhealthy control, where you need foremost to
protect yourself. But otherwise, try to understand where the person is coming from rather than
judge them. As you do for yourself, have a realistic acceptance of the other's strengths and
weaknesses and remember that change occurs over time.

Create rituals together

With busy schedules and the presence of online social media that offer the façade of real
contact, it’s very easy to drift from friends. In order to nurture the closeness and support of
friendships, you have to make an effort to connect. Gallup researcher Tom Rath has found that
people who deliberately make time for gatherings or trips enjoy stronger relationships and
more positive energy. An easy way to do this is to create a standing ritual that you can share
and that doesn’t create more stress—talking on the telephone on Fridays, for example, or
sharing a walk during lunch breaks, are ways to keep in contact with the ones you care about
the most.
Spend the right amount of time together

Gallup researchers Jim Harter and Raksha Arora found that people who spend 6-7 hours per
day socializing (which could mean hanging out with friends, sharing meals with family, or
even emailing a colleague) tend to be the happiest. In contrast, those who have zero interactions
(or an exhausting overload of social time) feel more stressed. Knowing when to give your time
to others and when to take some time for yourself can be crucial in maintaining balanced,
healthy relationships as well as emotional well-being.

Reading: TEN RULES FOR FINDING LOVE AND CREATING LONG-LASTING

AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS

1. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

Your relationship with yourself is the central template from which all others are
formed. Loving yourself is a prerequisite to creating a successful and authentic
union with another.

2. PARTNERING IS A CHOICE MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR IT

TO THRIVE

The choice to be in a relationship is up to you. You have the ability to attract

your beloved and cause the relationship you desire to happen.
 3. CREATING LOVE IS A PROCESS
Moving from “I” to “we” requires a shift in perspective and energy. Being an
authentic couple is an evolution.

4. RELATIONSHIPS PROVIDE OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW

Your relationship will serve as an unofficial “lifeshop” in which you will learn
about yourself and how you can grow on your personal path.

5. COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL
The open exchange of thoughts and feelings is the lifeblood of your
relationship.

6. NEGOTIATION WILL BE REQUIRED

There will be times when you and your partner must work through impasses. If
you do this consciously and with respect, you will learn to create win-win
outcomes.

7. YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE CHALLENGED BY CHANGE

Life will present turns in the road. How you maneuver those twists and turns
determines the success of your relationship.

8. YOU MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR IT TO THRIVE

Treasure your beloved and your relationship will flourish.
9. RENEWAL IS THE KEY TO LONGEVITY
Happily, ever after means the ability to keep the relationship fresh and vital.

10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS THE MOMENT YOU FALL IN LOVE You
know all these rules inherently. The challenge is to remember them
when you fall under the enchanting spell of love.
Source: http://angellovecards.com/assets/luminaries/drcherrieLOVEposter.p

Activity Assessment

Activity: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ITEMS SET

Answer the following:
1. What should you consider when making decisions around sex and sexual limits?
Why?
a. Your values
b. Your friends
c. Your family
d. All of the above

Your family, because they are the ones who are older, they are the ones who know what
is right and wrong can also be friends but not all friends can trust, you can also be
yourself but we still need guidance on whether that should be done or not at the wrong
time, like a teenager you still need parental guidance or an adult.

2. What is the best style of communication to use when making decisions about
sexual limits and boundaries? Explain.
a. Assertive
b. Passive
c. Aggressive

Assertive, insist on the right, choose the right, because the blame is late if you choose the wrong
style
3. Name three important qualities of a healthy relationship.

Understanding, respect and loyalty, because these 3 is the most important that we need
to keep and apply if we are in relationship, this is the most powerful words to apply to
get an a healthy relationship, kahit na single ako may alam rin ako uy abi palang Hehe.

4. Which of the following is NOT an element of a healthy relationship? Why?

a. Trust one another
b. One person makes all the decisions
c. Respect one another
d. Open and honest communication

One person makes all the decision, that’s wrong because ang pagmamahalan, kailangan
ng pagtutulungan, laging pilay kung isa lang ang gumagawa ng decision, isa lang
gumagawa ng paraan para kayo ay magtagal, love needs understanding, parang tao lang
ang pagmamahal pag kulang ang paa ang hirap talaga tumayo, pero ang paa ay dalawa
may tulungan may balance dahil may lakas rin siyang binibigay na tumayo agad.

5. Name a reason why you may not make healthy choices when it comes to sex.

For me, First of all, when you were young you were really forbidden, sex can be
addictive, it can also ruin your life especially if you are pregnant at the wrong time, sex
is only after marriage, it is not given at the wrong time

6. Name three resources you can turn to if you are worried about abuse in your
relationship.

First is jealousy, Jealousy does not help the relationship, you lose your trust in someone you
love,secondly always fighting, it also does not help if you do not understand each other and last,
you are the only one who plans the two of you, about your relationship you are the only one
who raises your heavy relationship, you are the only one who makes the solution, the difficulty
of that, because love needs cooperation because you do not just ignore it.

7. Name three characteristics of an unhealthy relationship.

Lack of support, sometimes we feel that we alone but remember when you are in
relationship, give a support on someone you love feel to her or him that she or he special
stand on your promise that you are always to her or him when the days she or he needs
you.
Lack of communication, it it a common problem of relationship lack of communication,
like long distance realtionshp aka na nila kaya ka iniwan dahil pinagpalit ka sa malapit,
actually hindi talaga rason na ipagpalit mo yong taong na una sa malapit on because
lack of communication, I know that it is so hard far away on someone you love but think
the promise that you make for her or him the and don’t forget the loyalty
And last is lack of time and attention, these is the most important or the first that we
need to give on someone, because time and attention is the only favorites specially to
girls, all they want to someone they love.

8. What skills do you need to make healthy decisions in a relationship? Explain.

a. Intelligence, memory, ability to do public speaking
b. Assertive communication, active listening, and negotiation skills
c. Ability to persuade others, love,
d. passive communication
e. None of the above

None of the above, because all we want to do to have an healthy decision In a

relationship is to ask to god, because only god can give you a decision that can make it
better for you in to your partner, in a relationship, god is always be center to have an a
balance understanding and trust in self and love. God can fix that just ask him to make it
happen.

9. Why would you choose abstinence? Give 3 reasons.

Maybe, first reason is getting tired, not having a good relationship, having difficulty
understanding every fight, second is someone else wants, looking for someone else who
is not with you, and last maybe there is a problem with your love, your parents don't
want you like that, it seems they do not support, family problem, those you love but they
do not like what you love.

10. Which of the following are signs that you may be in an abusive relationship?
Elaborate
a. Bruises, scratches and other signs of injuries
b. Avoiding friends
c. Apologizing for your partner`s behavior
d. All of the above

All of the above, because you should not be imprisoned by love like liberating yourself,
how god gave us freedom, because true love, it sets you free

Processing Questions:
 1. What were your thoughts and feelings while answering the activity?

It's okay because, I can relate because I'm also a young man, and I know I can apply
it at the right time, I don't have it yet because I don't believe in love as a teenager,
when you are young don’t be fall in love because its fake.

2. What did you discover about yourself after doing the activity?

I discover about on something maturity, on my age like I’m turning to college na so

that’s why I need to know this things to apply it into my self soon when all is ready
like I have work before I entered in a relationship.

3. With previous activities, how would you describe your relationship with your
parents? Siblings? Possible or current romantic relationship? Friends?

for me, is you just love something, because we have no other role in the world eh is you love other
people, that's also the command that Jesus gave you to love, especially give your parents respect ,
treat your friend and be true, and especially to your loved one, even if you are fooled, love, but
always remember that before you love others, love yourself first

4. Which relationship is most important to you? Why?

relationship with my parents, because they are the first to love me, they are the
ones who are there for me, the love that you will not feel for other people, they
say that the way you love the person is the same as the love you show to god,
especially to my parents, because that's the only way I can really feel the love that
I really won't leave you

5. In what ways do you express your feelings, whether positive or negative?

i express my feeling on doing good or something to them, young makes them

happy, they say, that love is not in the length of a relationship but in pleasure so
love is blurred, on negative side, I am just quiet especially when it hurts I really
am, especially since he really left me in the air

6. If your relationship is not doing very well, what can you do about it?

I will fix this, but before that I will think first if I have a shortcoming in
someone, then after manunuyo ako, I’ll try my effort to fix it.

Lecturette

Reading: KEEPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Good relationships are fun and make you feel good about yourself. The
relationships that you make in your youth years will be a special part of your life and
will teach you some of the most important lessons about who you are. Truly good
relationships take time and energy to develop. All relationships should be based on
respect and honesty, and this is especially important when you decide to date someone.

In a healthy relationship, both partners:

 Are treated with kindness and respect

 Are honest with each other
 Like to spend time together
 Take an interest in things that are important to each other
 Respect one another’s emotional, physical and sexual limits
 Can speak honestly about their feelings
Love should never hurt

Dating relationships can be wonderful! But while it’s important that dating
partners care for each other, it’s just as important that you take care of yourself! About
10% of high school students say they have suffered violence from someone they date.
This includes physical abuse where someone causes physical pain or injury to another
person. This can involve hitting, slapping, or kicking.

Sexual abuse is also a type of violence, and involves any kind of unwanted
sexual advance. It can include everything from unwelcome sexual comments to kissing
to intercourse. But abuse doesn’t always mean that someone hits or hurts your body.
Emotional abuse is anything that harms your self-esteem or causes shame. This includes
saying things that hurt your feelings, make you feel that you aren’t worthwhile, or
trying to control who you see or where you go.

Remember, you deserve healthy, happy relationships. Abuse of any type is never
okay.

ABUSE AND ASSAULT

Love should never hurt. But sometimes it does:

 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime
 1.5 million women are sexually assaulted or otherwise physically abused by their
partners each year.
 Over 800,000 males are sexually or physically abused by partners.
 Abuse can occur in any type of relationship--gay and straight, casual and long-
term, young and old.

 About 10% of high school students say that have suffered violence from someone
they date.

If you are – or have been – in a relationship where you were mistreated, it’s very
easy to blame yourself. The problem is with the abuser, though, not you. It’s not your
fault! Anyone can be abused – boys and girls, men and women, gay or straight, young
and old – and anyone can become an abuser.
Break the Silence: Stop the Violence

It may shock you to know that one out of every eleven teens reports being hit or
physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend in the past twelve months. But why is that, and how
can we change it? In "Break The Silence: Stop the Violence," parents talk with teens about
developing healthy, respectful relationships before they start dating.

HOW TO COMMUNICATE
 Talking openly makes relationships more fun and satisfying; especially when you both
talk about each other’s needs for physical, emotional, mental and sexual health. You can’t expect
a partner to know what you want and need unless you tell them. The simple fact is that none of
us are a mind reader--so it's important to be open about your needs and expectations.
In a romantic relationship, it is important to communicate openly on issues of sex and
sexual health. The decision to enter into a sexual relationship is entirely up to you, and you
always have the right to say "no" at any time to anything that you don't feel comfortable with.
Remember, there are many ways to express love without sex. If you do decide to become
sexually active, there are things about which you do need to communicate.
Though talking about sex can feel a little scary, many people find that when they get up
the nerve to talk about sex, their partner really appreciates it. Most likely they've been trying to
work up the nerve, too! Many respect a partner even more once they've brought up the topic of
sex. It is ok to be nervous--that lets you know that what you are doing is both important to you
and also exciting.
Remember though: it is a good idea to talk about any sexual subject before you get all
hot and bothered, but this is especially important for topics which require logical thinking skills,
like safer sex expectations. Most of us don't act rationally in the heat of the moment. Think
about your boundaries ahead of time, and discuss them with a partner when you are not
currently in a sexual mood. If you are turned on, you are less likely to make the decision to use
a condom or another barrier if your partner has a different agenda. Having the conversation
before you are in a sexual situation makes it more likely you will be able to act according to
your own boundaries and preferences.
So what's to talk about?

 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs): This is actually an issue that all teenagers
and adults must be aware of. Anybody who engages in sexual activity is prone to
have this one.

 Possibility of Pregnancy: Females who engage in sex have a high percentage of

putting themselves in this kind of situation.

 Right time for sex: You can consider your current status as a student if it is really
high time to be involved in this kind of activity. Will this make or break your
future?

 Boundaries: Making the decision to set your limits in a relationship shows your
maturity to assert your priorities and respecting yourself.

MAKING THE DECISION: DECIDING WHETHER OR NOT TO HAVE SEX

The decision of whether or not to have sex is up to you, and you alone.
Therefore, don’t be afraid to say "no" if that’s how you feel.

Having sex for the first time can be a huge emotional event. There are many
questions and feelings that you may want to sort out before you actually get "in the
heat of the moment."

Ask yourself:
 Am I really ready to have sex?
 How am I going to feel after I have sex?
 Am I doing this for the right reasons?
 How do I plan to protect myself/my partner from sexually transmitted
infections or pregnancy?
 How am I going to feel about my partner afterwards?
 The best way to prepare for the decision to have sex is to become comfortable with
communicating about your needs. If you don’t feel right about something, say so! Anyone
who challenges your choices about whether or not to have sex is not giving you the respect that
you deserve. Pay attention to your feelings, and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for
making decisions that are right for you.
There are countless nonsexual ways to show someone you love them. You can show a
person you care for them by spending time with them. Go to the movies. Or just hang out and
talk. If you are with someone you really like, then anything can be fun.
There are also ways to feel physically close without having sex. These include
everything from kissing and hugging to touching each other. Just remember that if you're not
careful these activities can lead to sex. Plan beforehand just how far you want to go, and stick to
your limits. It can be difficult to say "No" and mean it when things get hot and heavy.

TALKING TO YOUR PARENTS

You probably think that talking to your parents about sex is impossible. You're not
alone; 83 percent of kids your age is afraid to ask their parents about sex. Yet 51 percent of teens
actually do. So... kids are not only talking to their parents about sex, they're also benefiting from
conversations they were afraid to have in the first place! Lucky them, right? The truth is that
most parents want to help their kids make smart decisions about sex. They know it's vital for
teens to have accurate information and sound advice to aid the decision-making process.
If you think your parents are really nervous about raising the issue, you're probably
right. Many parents think that if they acknowledge their child as a sexual being, their son or
daughter will think it's okay to go ahead and have sex. They might also be afraid that if they
don't have all the answers, they'll look foolish. Some parents have said they're afraid kids will
ask personal questions about their sex life, questions they won't want to answer.

Think about all the adults in your life. Is there someone else's parent . . .a teacher or guidance
counselor, coach, aunt, uncle, neighbor or another adult you instinctively trust? That's the
person who will give you straight answers.

Your friends really don't know any more than you do, no matter what they say about their
sexual experience. The Internet, and other media, can't give you everything you need. Only
people who know you can do that.

Peer pressure is always tough to deal with, especially when it comes to sex. Some teenagers
decide to have sexual relationships because their friends think sex is cool. Others feel pressured
by the person they are dating. Still others find it easier to give in and have sex than to try to
explain why not. Some teenagers get caught up in the romantic feelings and believe having sex
is the best way they can prove their love.
But remember: Not every person your age is having sex. Even if sometimes it feels like
everyone is "doing it," it is important to realize that this is not true. People often talk about sex
in a casual manner, but this doesn't mean they are actually having sex.

Knowing how you feel about yourself is the first big step in handling peer pressure. It's OK to
want to enjoy your teen years and all the fun times that can be had. It's OK to respect yourself
enough to say, "No, I'm not ready to have sex."
How to avoid peer or date pressure?

If you're worried about being pressured or you are currently experiencing it, know that you are
not alone and there is something you can do about it.

Hang out with friends who also believe that it's OK to not be ready for sex yet.
Go out with a group of friends rather than only your date.
Introduce your friends to your parents.
Invite your friends to your home.
Stick up for your friends if they are being pressured to have sex.
 Think of what you would say in advance in case someone tries to pressure you.
Always carry money for a telephone call or cab in case you feel uncomfortable.
Be ready to call your mom, dad or a friend to pick you up if you need to leave a date.
Never feel obligated to "pay someone back" with sex in return for a date or gift.
Say "no" and mean "no" if that's how you feel.

DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

In a survey of young people ages 15-24 by the Kaiser Family Foundation, 9 out of 10
people surveyed reported that their peers use alcohol or illegal drugs before sex at least some
of the time. Seven out of 10 also reported that condoms are not always used when alcohol and
drugs are involved. Twenty-nine percent of those teens and young adults surveyed said that
they've "done more" sexually while under the influence of drugs or alcohol than they normally
would have when sober.
The effects of drugs and alcohol can make it hard to think clearly, let alone make the best
possible decisions about sex. While you're under the influence of drugs or alcohol it is easy to
make a decision you'll regret later--decisions that can lead to a sexually transmitted infection or
an unwanted pregnancy. Even worse, there are some people who will use the effects of alcohol
and other drugs to force you into having sex with them.

Reading: BASIC RIGHTS IN A RELATIONSHIP

• The right to emotional support

• The right to be heard by the other and to respond
• The right to have your own point of view, even if this differs from your partner's
• The right to have your feelings and experiences acknowledged as real
• The right to live free from accusation and blame
• The right to live free from criticism and judgment
• The right to live free from emotional and physical threat
• The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage
• The right to be respectfully asked, rather than ordered
In addition to these basic relationships rights, consider how you can develop
patience, honesty, kindness, and respect.

Patience: Patience is essential to a healthy relationship. There are times when others will
respond to us in a way that is disappointing. When this occurs, it important to communicate
our disappointment, but also to give the other person space. Be willing to give the person some
time to reflect, indicating that you are ready to talk when they are ready. If the person is never
ready to discuss the situation, you may need professional help to resolve the issue, or ask
yourself whether or not you want to continue the relationship.

Honesty: Honesty is another essential quality in healthy relationships. To build honesty in a

relationship, you should communicate your feelings openly, and expect the other person to do
the same. Over time, this builds trust.

Kindness: Kindness is extremely important to maintaining healthy relationships. You need to

be considerate of others' feelings and other people need to be considerate of yours. Be kind
when you communicate. Kindness will nurture your relationships. Note that being kind does
not necessarily mean being nice.
Respect: Respect is a cornerstone of all healthy relationships. If you don't have respect for
another person, it will have a negative impact on all of your interactions. Think of a time when
you encountered someone who didn't respect you. How did it feel? What are some ways that
you show respect to others?

Final Task:

Slogan on Basic Rights in Relationships (Make it Creatively).

On a short bond paper, sketch, draw, or design a poster which shows one’s basic
rights in a relationship. Here’s a sample:

“There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some
who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.”
Daphne Emmett

https://www.scribd.com/document/332637070/Slogan-Making-Rubrics

BIBLE VERSE:
 References:
Carter-Scott, Cherie. (1999). If Love is a Game, These are the Rules. Broadway Books, a division
of Random House, Inc. pp. 151-152.

Clark-Lempers, D., J.D. Lempers & C. Ho. (1991). Early, Middle, and Late Adolescents' Perceptions
of Their Relationships with Significant Others . Journal of Adolescent Research. 6-3, 296-315.

Gazzingan, Leslie B., Francisco, Joseph C., Aglubat, Linofe R., Parentela, Ferdinand O., Tuason,
Vevian T. (2013). Psychology: Dimensions of the Human Mind. Mutya Publishing House,
Inc.

Wallace, H., Masters, L. (2001). Personal Development for Life and Work, 8th Ed. Southwestern
Educational Publishing, Inc.

Roldan, Amelia S. (2003). On Becoming a Winner: A Workbook on Personality Development

and Character Building. AR Skills Development and Management Services (SDMS),
Paranaque City, Metro Manila.

Sanchez, Bo. (2006). Life Dreams Success Journal: Your Powerful Tool to Achieve and Surpass
Your Dreams One Step At A Time. Shepherd’s Voice Publishing. 60 Chicago St., Quezon
City Metro Manila 11

Santamaria, Josefina O. (2006). Career Planning Workbook, 4thEd. Makati City: Career Systems.
pp. 38-41

https://www.coursehero.com/file/51299582/PerDevt-Reader-SHS-v1doc/

Prepared by:

Charlyn C. Padilla, LPT, MAEd

Subject Teacher

Checked by:

Raymond W. Dela Cuesta, LPT, MAEd

Senior High School Academic Coordinator

Noted by:

Eleanor C. Aguillon, LPT, MAEd

Senior High School Focal Person