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Extracting Needs from Emotions

Emotions Emotions have long been recognized as natural states that communicate information to
oneself. Emotions provide feedback about whether personal needs are met. Simply put,
Intervention
a need is necessary for an individual to live a healthy and happy life. In general, negative
5 min/day emotions indicate that a particular need is not being satisfied. Negative emotions signal to
a person that it is necessary to pause and attend to this need (Frijda, 1993; Simon, 1967).
Client
For instance, a person who is unexpectedly not invited to a dinner party may feel excluded.
No
This feeling signals to this individual that he or she needs to feel connected; he or she needs
to belong (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Positive emotions, on the other hand, signal that
one’s needs have been met and that activity ought to be continued. For instance, a person
who can complete a complex task without help from others may experience pride. The
pride signals that one’s need for autonomy and competence are being satisfied. Emotions
and feelings thus provide valuable information about need satisfaction. In general, while
negative emotions indicate that needs are not being satisfied, positive emotions signal
that needs are satisfied. In this step of the assessment, the client is invited to link positive
and negative emotions to the satisfaction of personal needs.

Author

This tool was created by Hugo Alberts (Ph.D.).

Goal

The goals of this assessment are:

■ To identify the personal needs that are satisfied, as indicated by the experience of
positive emotions.
■ To identify the personal needs that are not satisfied, as indicated by the experience of
negative emotions.

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Advice

■ Although the most powerful way for clients to do this exercise is by reflecting on
personal needs when emotions are experienced, it is also possible to reflect on past
emotions. The advantage of this latter approach is that it can be used in coaching
or therapy sessions and that the practitioner can help identify possible needs that
underlie past emotional experience.
■ Many clients have difficulties dealing with emotions. At the very basis of this difficulty
lies a negative relationship with emotions. Negative emotions are typically perceived as
inappropriate or unwanted. Consequently, emotions are often avoided or suppressed.
This exercise can help clients understand that emotions are useful because they contain
valuable information about oneself. Rather than suppressing emotions, this exercise
explains why it is important to “listen” to emotions. By allowing oneself to connect to
emotions, one gains valuable self-insight. Ultimately, this realization may help clients
change their relationship with negative emotions in a more meaningful way.
■ Many clients struggle to communicate their needs to others effectively. The insights
that result from this step of the assessment can provide a valuable starting point for
building empathic communication that considers personal and other people’s needs.

References

■ Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal
attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117,
497-529.

■ Frijda, N. H. (1993). Moods, emotion episodes, and emotions. In M. Lewis and J. M.

■ Simon, H. A. (1967). Motivational and emotional controls of cognition. Psychological

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Extracting Needs from Emotions

Instructions

Step 1: Clarifying the relation between emotions and needs

Emotions tell us something about ourselves. They can provide valuable information about our needs. A need
is necessary for an individual to live a healthy and happy life.

Negative emotions tell us that a particular need is not being satisfied. For instance, a person who is
unexpectedly not invited to a dinner party may feel excluded. This feeling may signal to this individual that
he or she needs to feel connected, has a need to belong.

Positive emotions, on the other hand, signal that our needs have been met and that activity ought to be
continued. For instance, a person who can complete a complex task without help from others may experience
pride. The pride signals that one’s need for autonomy and competence are being satisfied.

Step 2: Daily need analysis

In the following week(s), whenever you experience an emotion, try to identify it. Do you feel joy or relief? Do
you feel anger, confusion, disappointment, or simply sadness? Don’t worry about labeling it ‘correctly’ - go
with your instinct about what you’re experiencing.

If the emotion is positive, list the emotion in the first column of Table 1 (p. 4). List negative emotions in the
first column of Table 2 (p. 5).

Next, ask yourself what the emotion is telling you about your needs. If you experience a positive emotion,
which needs (s) are being satisfied, as indicated by this emotion? List the need(s) in the second column of
Table 1.

If you experience a negative emotion, which need(s) may not be satisfied, as indicated by this emotion? List
the need(s) in the second column of Table 2.

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Table 1. Positive emotions as indicators of need fulfillment

Positive experience Need that is satisfied

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Table 2. Negative emotions as indicators of need thwarting

Negative experience Need that is not satisfied

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Step 3: Evaluation

What stood out most for you from this exercise?

What did you learn about yourself?

What might you do with what you have learned?

How can you use this exercise in the future?

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