Setting:

Interior of an old run-down cottage living area, Christmas Eve.

Characters:
Nellie Timidy- our heroine.
Brutus McCorp- our villain.
Drake Dogooder- our hero.

Nellie: Yesterday they arrested my father, framed for the crimes of his evil boss, Brutus
McCorp. My mother is in her room, on her deathbed from grief and fear for my
father. What am I to do? What am I to do???
It is Christmas Eve and here in my hand I hold two letters, both from Mr McCorp.
One is a notice of eviction for his company owns this house and they will cast us out
this very night without my father’s protection.
The other is his proposal of marriage! He says that if I marry him, my mother can
stay in this house and he will find the evidence to free my father.
It is all too much to bear. How can I marry him? He is a villain who has destroyed my
family’s happiness. But if I don’t, then I alone am responsible for how low we must
fall.
If only my true love, my sweet Drake Dogooder was here, he would come to my
rescue and all would be well. But my dearest love is in the Amazon, fighting for the
forest. Or perhaps he is saving the seals in Antarctica. Oh, I just can’t keep track of
all of his good deeds. Now he will never know my real love and admiration for him. I
have sent him a telegram telling him of our plight. But what if he never gets it? What
should I do? I am ruined! (sobs in despair)

(There is a knock at the door before Brutus McCorp barges in)

Brutus: Boo hoo. Did I hear your salty crocodile tears? What do I care for your sadness? You
know what to do to make all of this right and you hold both choices in your hands
right now.

Nellie: I do not love you.

Brutus:I do not care.

Although you have never shown me affection and are repelled by my appearance, I
will make you my wife. Where is your hero now? Nowhere!
(aside) But should he turn up, I have set a trap to rid the world of Dogooder forever! I
have several men with guns staking out this house and they have been told to shoot
him on sight should he come near.
(Resumes action) No, my dear, it is just you and me and your decision. What do you
say? Shall you marry me or choose a destitute life for you and your family? Make
your decision now!

Nellie: I have no choice! I must save my family. I must say yes!

Brutus:A wise choice. Let us get ready!

Nellie: Now?
Brutus: Yes! The nuptials will take place tonight. I have the minister outside!

Nellie: (aside) I must try to delay him. If my Drake is to arrive in time, I must do whatever I
can to postpone this dreadful wedding.
(resumes action) But I must ready myself. I have the dress all chosen and I want to do
something special with my hair. A woman cannot be rushed. I do not want to marry
you. In fact… I would rather marry a… snake, than you.

Brutus: Harsh.

Nellie: But if I must marry you, then I want the wedding of my dreams. The flowers, 15
bridesmaids, the diamond ring, the carriage, the dress, the beach location, a
professional makeover, the honeymoon in Bali, got to get my hair and nails done, the
lace shoes, the veil, a cute little dog with a silky vest with the words ‘Just Married’
and a cushion he drags up the aisle, bearing the rings, the…

Brutus:Enough!

Nellie: I’m only getting started.

Brutus: Marry me now or heaven help me, I’ll drag your mother from her bed and throw her
into the street myself!

(Brutus lunges at Nellie and a struggle takes place)

(Enter Drake Dogooder- perhaps dishevelled from his international adventures)

Drake: Stop right now! (they stop) Thank you very much.

Brutus:(still clutching Nellie).

What are you doing here, Dogooder? I thought I used everything in my power to
destroy you?

Drake: You sound disappointed McCorp. But none of your feeble attempts to destroy me
could stand in the way of stopping this monstrous wedding between you and my true
heart’s love, Nellie. When you torpedoed my ship, The Saving Grace, I valiantly
swam the hundreds of miles to shore. When you sent the shark to eat me as I fought
my way through the waves of salty despair, I punched him in the nose. Then when
you tried to have me shot outside, I sat the lads down and explained the fragile nature
of morality and the path to salvation. Laying down their guns, they immediately
began volunteer work and are out there now, cleaning the streets and feeding the stray
cats and dogs.

Brutus: Drat and bother Drake Dogooder! I did not think I could hate you more than I did
before you arrived and then you go and do something like that!

Drake: That’s not all. I went to the police station before I arrived and delivered the real
documents of your embezzlement and destruction. Nellie’s poor father is free and is
on his way with the police to arrest you.

Brutus: Dogooder!! I think you are forgetting one thing. I have my hands on the girl and I
will kill her before I give her over to you. If I can’t have her, no-one will.

(gasps/ cries /snarls/ sounds of struggle)

Nellie: (breaking free) Your mother would be so ashamed of your behaviour!

(Everyone freezes at this statement)

Drake: (aside to audience) That’s my girl. She’s so feisty! I’m going to nab that minister
outside and marry her myself!

Brutus: (deeply wounded by her words). My mother was a wonderful woman and the day she
died, falling in the ditch on her way to feed the homeless, was the day I vowed to
only ever take and never to give.

Nellie: Would your mother be proud of the man you’ve become?

Brutus:(Starts sobbing). No. Nooooooooo!

Drake: (grabbing Brutus): Well you’ll have plenty of time to reflect on your personal growth
journey in jail.

(Pushes Brutus out the door)

And now, my dearest Nellie. (gets down on one knee) Shall we marry?

Nellie: Yes! A thousand times yes!

Drake: Do you need your bridesmaids, the diamond ring, the beach location, the…(she
places her fingers on his lips)

Nellie: With you by my side, I have everything I need.

The End!