EMPATH AND THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE: 2 books in 1

by Judy Dyer
© Copyright 2018 by Judy Dyer
All Rights Reserved.
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Disclaimer: This book is designed to provide accurate and authoritative
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ISBN: 978-1724113559
 EMPATH
A Complete Guide for Developing Your Gift
and Finding Your Sense of Self

By: Judy Dyer

Contents
Introduction
Your Free Gift
Chapter 1: What is an Empath?
Chapter 2: How to Embrace Your Gift
Chapter 3: Understanding Energy
Chapter 4: Empaths and Spiritual Hypersensitivity
Chapter 5: Empaths, Insomnia, Exhaustion and Adrenal Fatigue
Chapter 6: How to Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires
Chapter 7: Empaths and Work
Chapter 8: Normalizing and Maintaining Your Gift
Chapter 9: How to Support a Young Empath
Conclusion
Essential Oil Recipes for Anxiety
Introduction
Greetings readers! Congratulations on taking the first step on your journey
to greatness as you begin to understand and use your gift for the greater
good! If you are reading this, I can only assume that you are new and have
just become conscious of your gift as an empath. You are probably both
scared and excited; scared because you don’t quite understand it and excited
because you are about to step into a new realm of possibilities that you had
no idea existed.
Empaths who are not in control of their gift find that it is a terrible source of
stress, pain and anxiety. Feeling other people’s emotions as though they are
your own can seem as if you are on a constant emotional roller coaster. The
purpose of this book is to bring you to a place of rest concerning the gift
that you have been endowed with. You will learn exactly what your gift is
and why you are so privileged to have it.
I want you to understand that you are carrying great power, and the reason
why it affects you in such a profound way is due to the dynamism of it.
There are many benefits and blessings associated with being an empath, and
as you learn to walk in and embrace your gift, doors of opportunity will
begin to open for you.
Take your time to fully understand and absorb each chapter before moving
on to the next. Prepare your spirit for the keys that you are going to find in
this book to unlock the abundance of potential that is within you.
In order to maximize the value you receive from this book, I highly
encourage you to join our tight-knit community on Facebook. Here you will
be able to connect and share with other like-minded Empaths to continue
your growth.
Taking this journey alone is not recommended and this can be an excellent
support network for you.
It would be great to connect with you there,
Judy Dyer
>> Click Here to Join Our Empath Support Group <<
Your Free Gift
As a way of saying thanks for downloading this book, I’m offering the book
Hygge: Discovering The Danish Art Of Happiness for FREE to my readers.
It was written from a close friend of mine named Olivia Telford, who has
kindly allowed me to share it with you.
With Hygge, you’ll discover something that offers relaxation, happiness and
contentment, all rolled into one. It is a way of being and living that has been
adopted by countless numbers of people throughout Scandinavia and the
wider world and reflects a ‘cosiness’ that encompasses the positivity and
enjoyment that one can get from simple everyday things.

>> Tap Here to Discover the Secrets of the Happiest Country <<
Also by Judy Dyer
The Empowered Empath: A Simple Guide on Setting Boundaries,
Controlling Your Emotions, and Making Life Easier
Download the Audio Version of This
Book FREE
If you love listening to audiobooks on-the-go or enjoy narration as you read
along, I have great news for you.
You can download the audio book version of The Empath and HSP Bundle
for FREE just by signing up for a FREE 30-day audible trial!
Click the links below to get started
>> For Audible US <<
>> For Audible UK <<
Chapter 1: What is an Empath?
An empath is a person with an open spirit; they unconsciously sense things
in the unseen and the seen realm to the point where it can become a burden.
They pick up on the energy that is surrounding them and have a natural
ability to tune in to the feelings of others. They are influenced by other
people’s moods, thoughts, desires and wishes. Being an empath is not
limited to high sensitivity and emotions; they intuitively know the
intentions and motivations of others. An empath is not something that is
learned; you are either born this way or you’re not. As an empath, you are
constantly in touch with the feelings and energy of others, which means that
you are continuously bearing the weight of the emotions of those around
you.

Many empaths are prone to the physical manifestations of the emotions they
are burdened with, such as daily aches and pains and chronic tiredness. I am
sure you have heard the saying, “You look like you’re carrying the weight
of the world on your shoulders!” This is exactly what empaths do! They
carry the energy, emotions and karma of everyone they come in contact
with.
Empaths are extremely humble; they shy away from compliments and
would rather praise someone else than receive it. They express themselves
with great passion and talk very candidly, which can sometimes cause
offense. They are not the type of people who hide their feelings; they will
open up to anyone who cares to listen.
On the flip side of this, they can also be the complete opposite; they can be
very anti-social and will gladly block those out of their lives who they feel
are hindering them in some way. They may not realize that they are doing
this; to the empath who doesn’t understand who they are, this is often their
way of shutting out the feelings and energy from others that they constantly
have to deal with.
Although empaths are sensitive to the emotions of others, they don’t spend
much time listening to their own hearts. This can lead them to care for the
needs of others before their own. An empath is typically non-aggressive,
non-violent and is quick to become the peacemaker between people. An
empath feels extremely uncomfortable when they are in an environment of
disharmony; they avoid confrontation or quickly make amends if a situation
gets out of hand. If they lose control and say something that would cause
offense, they resent themselves for it and will make a swift apology.
Empaths have a tendency to pick up the feelings of others and then project
them back to the person without realizing what they are doing. When an
empath is in the beginning stages of understanding their gift, it is advised
that they talk things out in order to release the buildup of emotions. If not,
they have a tendency to bottle things up and build skyscraper walls around
themselves and refuse to let anyone in. The inability to express their
feelings is often the result of a traumatic event, a childhood where emotions
were not expressed in the home or having parents who told them that
children are to be seen and not heard.
Emotional withdrawal can have a negative effect on our health; the longer
we hold our emotions inside without release, the more power they have
over us. When emotions build up, there will eventually be a release and that
release is never a good thing. Humans are wired to express themselves
when they feel a burden; it is how healing takes place. When you talk
something out, there is an emotional relief that you are no longer carrying
the weight alone. If this doesn’t take place, there is a risk of mental and
emotional instability as well as negative emotions manifesting in the form
of an illness.
Empaths have sensitivity towards movies, TV, videos, and news broadcasts
that depict scenes of violence or physical or emotional pain and trauma,
whether it is an adult, child or animal. This can reduce them to tears and
cause them to become physically ill. They are unable to justify the suffering
that they feel and see and have no tolerance for others who don’t share the
same level of compassion as they do.
Empaths work in careers that enable them to help others, whether it’s with
animals, nature or people. They are passionate about their work and their
dedication to others. You will often find empaths in volunteer positions
dedicating their time to help others without pay or recognition.
Due to their ceaseless imagination, empaths are great storytellers; they are
constantly learning and asking questions. They are also very gentle and
romantic; they have a passion for family history and will keep old photos,
jewelry or other items of value that have been passed down from
generations. They are often the ones who sit and listen to stories told by
grandparents and great grandparents and hold a wealth of knowledge about
the history of their family.
To suit the variety of moods that they experience, they listen to a range of
music genres. People are often curious about their taste in music, especially
the extent of the diversity. One minute they are listening to classical music
and the next hardcore rap! The lyrics to a song can have a powerful effect
on an empath, especially if it relates to something they have recently
experienced. It is advised that empaths listen to music without lyrics to
avoid sending their emotions into a spin.
Empaths use their body language as a form of expression; they can
articulate themselves just as easily through dance, body movements and
acting as they can through words. Empaths are capable of exhibiting high
amounts of energy when they dance; they get lost in the music and enter
into a trance-like state as their spirits sync with the beat and the lyrics. They
describe this feeling as becoming completely lost in the moment; they are
no longer aware of the presence of others.
Empaths have very attractive spirits, and so people are naturally drawn to
them without understanding why. They will find that complete strangers
feel comfortable talking to them about the most intimate subjects and
experiences. Another reason why empaths are so magnetic is that they are
very good listeners; they are bubbly, outgoing, enthusiastic and people love
to be in their presence. They are the life and soul of any party, and people
like to have them around because they feed off their energy. Due to the
extreme nature of their personality, the opposite is also true; their moods
can switch in an instant and people will scatter like cockroaches to get away
from them. If an empath doesn’t understand their gift, the burden of
carrying so many emotions can be overwhelming. They don’t understand
that they are feeling someone else’s emotions; it is confusing to them. One
moment they are fine and the next they are feeling a tsunami of depression,
which causes them to act out.
It is not a good idea to abandon an empath in the heights of one of their
mood swings. Whoever is around at this time should lend them a shoulder
to cry on, become compassionate, and be a listening ear. This return of
emphatic emotional care will often lead to an instant recovery. Empaths are
often misunderstood, and it is a crucial part of their journey that not only do
they understand themselves but others around them do too.
Empaths are often thinkers and problem solvers; they love to study a variety
of different material. They believe that problems and solutions exist
together and that there is always a solution at hand. They will often search
until they find the answer to a problem, which can be a great benefit to
others around them, whether at work or at home. The empath is often
capable of tapping into the knowledge of the universe and receiving the
guidance they need to solve the problem they have put their minds to.
Empaths are dreamers; they have vivid and detailed dreams. They believe
that their dreams are linked to their physical reality and that they are being
warned about something that is happening in their life or the life of
someone they know. From a young age, they invest their time and effort
into unlocking the mysteries of their dreams.
Empaths thrive off mental engagement; they have no desire for the
mundane and find it difficult to hold their focus on things that don’t
stimulate them. When they find themselves getting bored, they will often
resort to daydreaming and settle into a detached state of mind. Although
their physical body is in the same location, their mind is in another
dimension.
A teacher will only hold the attention of an empath student if they are as
expressive and emotional as they are; if not they will quickly switch off. If
empaths are not completely captivated by their audience, they lack interest.
They make the best actors because of their innate ability to become so
submerged by the feelings of others that when they play a role, they do so
with all the emotions of the character that they are playing.
They are prone to experiencing synchronicities and déjà vu. What begins as
a set of continuous coincidences leads to an understanding that seeing into
the future is a part of who the empath is. As this acceptance becomes a
reality, a feeling of euphoria sets in as they begin to connect with the power
of their gift.
Many empaths have a deep connection to the paranormal; they will have a
number of near-death and out of body experiences throughout their lives.
Traveling in the spirit realm to another dimension is a normal occurrence in
the life of an empath. They are free spirits and the mundane routine of life
is not what they live for. When they get stuck in this cycle, all meaning of
life is lost and they are forced to stop, re-examine their life and get back on
the journey to self-discovery. Their paranormal experiences lead to
isolation; to the average person this is not the norm and so the empath tends
to suppress their abilities in fear of being labeled negatively. However, they
are capable of overcoming this and it typically takes place when they are
surrounded by other empaths.
There Are A Variety Of Empaths And Each Use A
Different Psychic Emphatic Trait. They Are As
Follows:
1. Geomancy: Geomancers have the ability to feel earth’s energy;
when they are on certain land and in certain places, they can feel the
energy. When a natural disaster is about to take place, regardless of
where it is happening, they get headaches.
2. Telepathy: They have the ability to read the thoughts of others.
3. Psychometry: They have the ability to receive energy from
impressions, places, photographs or objects.
4. Physical healing: The ability to feel the physical symptoms of
others in their own body, which they can then use to promote
healing.
5. Animal communication: The ability to feel, hear and communicate
with animals.
6. Emotional healing: The ability to feel the emotions of others.
7. Nature: The ability to communicate with nature and plants.
8. Mediumship: The ability to feel the energy and the presence of
spirits.
9. Knowing or claircognizance: The ability to know what has to be
done in any given situation; this is often coupled with a feeling of
calm and peace in the midst of a crisis.
10.
Precognition: The ability to feel when something
significant is about to take place. This is often an unexplainable
feeling of doom or dread.
If You Are Unsure About Whether Or Not You
Have The Gift Of An Empath, Here Are 25
Common Empath Traits:
1. They look for the victim, the underdog; those going through
emotional trauma and suffering draws the attention of the empath.
2. The empath is highly creative with a vivid imagination; they are
usually multitalented with the ability to sing, dance, draw, act or
write. An untidy environment full of chaos and mess blocks the
flow of energy for the empath; they are very minimalist and tidy.
3. They have a disdain for narcissism. Although empaths are very
tolerant, compassionate and kind, they don’t like to be around
egotistical characters who live for themselves and have no
consideration for the feelings and emotions of others.
4. They sense energy in food. Empaths are often vegetarian because
they can feel the suffering that the animal experienced while being
slaughtered.
5. They don’t like buying second-hand goods, as they believe that
anything previously owned by someone else carries their energy.
When the empath is financially stable, they prefer to buy a brand
new house or a brand new car so that they are not stepping into
someone else’s energy.
6. They spend time daydreaming. An empath can get lost in their own
imagination; they can happily stare into oblivion for hours. If an
empath is not being stimulated, they get bored and distracted.
Whether they are at home, work or school, they must be interested
in what they are doing or they will drift.
7. They are knowledge seekers. Empaths are always learning
something new; they find it frustrating when they have unanswered
questions and they will go above and beyond the call of duty to find
the answer. If they feel a nudge in their spirit that they have an
answer, they will look for confirmation. The negative side of this is
 that they carry too much information, which can be draining. They
have a deep desire to know more about the world as we know it.
8. They can’t participate in what they don’t enjoy. They feel as if they
are not being truthful to themselves when they engage in activities
that they don’t like. Many empaths are labeled as lazy because they
refuse to take part in anything that they don’t agree with, and that
happens to be the majority of things.
9. The need for isolation. They must get time alone, which is even true
of empath children.
10.
They have a love of animals and nature. Empaths enjoy
life outdoors and being at one with nature. They typically have pets
inside the home. They believe that plants and animals have feelings
and emotions.
11.
They are very much in touch with the supernatural
realm and things like seeing ghosts and spirits are normal to them.
They also seem to have access to information that scientists will
spend years trying to attain. For example, empaths knew that the
world was round when everyone else believed that it was flat.
12.
They are always tired; because they are so exposed to
other people's energy, they constantly feel drained and tired. This
tiredness is so extreme that even sleep can’t relieve them. Empaths
are often diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME). They
suffer from back problems and digestive disorders. The center of the
abdomen is where the solar plexus chakra is located. Empaths feel
the emotions of others in this area, which weakens it and can lead to
irritable bowel syndrome, stomach ulcers and lower back problems.
The empath who doesn’t understand their gift will typically suffer
from such physical problems. They catch illnesses quickly; an
empath develops the physical symptoms of those around them. They
often catch the flu, eye infections, and aches and pains in the body
 and joints. When they are close to someone, they often experience
sympathy pains.
13.
The empath is a sounding board. Everyone goes to the
empath to unload their problems, which often end up as their own.
They feel and take on others’ emotions. They can feel emotions of
those close by, far away or both. The more experienced empath
knows when someone is thinking badly about them.
14.
They can detect lies. When someone is not telling the
truth, the empath is aware, and when someone is thinking or feeling
one way but saying something else, they know. They don’t need to
listen to the tone of someone’s voice or analyze their facial
expressions to know that they are lying; they have the ability to
know instantly whether or not they are lying.
15.
They find it difficult to watch any type of violence.
Neither can they read about it in newspapers and magazines; as a
result of this, empaths find it difficult to watch TV or read
newspapers and magazines.
16.
They are often overwhelmed in public places. Being in
places like supermarkets, stadiums and shopping malls where there
are a lot of people is difficult for the empath because of the amount
of energy that is being released from the crowds. Their environment
is arranged and managed to work around their sensitivities. Their
schedule and commitments are arranged to avoid chaotic,
unpleasant situations that are overly stimulating.
17.
They have access to advanced knowledge. Empaths are
tuned into knowledge; they know things without being told. This is
not a gut feeling or intuition, their knowledge comes from a greater
source of power. The more they are tuned into their gift, the stronger
this gift becomes.
18.
They are capable of influencing the moods of others.
They are very charismatic and people are attracted to their energy.
When they spend too much time around people, they start to speak
and act like them.
19.
They like to be around water; they enjoy the energy
from oceans, rivers, and seas.
20.
They have always been told that they are too emotional
and sensitive. Their ability to pick up on feelings and cues is not
normal to everyone else, but it is to them.
21.
They have a low tolerance for pain; they find it difficult
to get injections and feel ill when they have to deal with even the
smallest of injuries. Doctors may even tell them that they complain
too much.
22.
They are very observant and extremely good at reading
facial expressions and body language.
23.
They are drawn to healing professions; empaths are
often nurses, doctors or veterinarians. Empaths are drawn to become
counselors, social workers, psychologists, animal communicators,
teachers and caretakers.
24.
Empaths are drawn to alternative and spiritual arts such
as organic nutrition, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, holistic, energy
and Reiki practices and psychic reading. They have an interest in
the metaphysical such as prayer, meditation, yoga and positive
affirmations.
25.
 They are non-conformists and choose to live outside of
the constraints of society’s norm of a job—a family and 2.4
children. They enjoy traveling, adventure and freedom. Empaths are
free spirits; they don’t like to remain stagnant. They don’t like rules,
routine or control. An empath likes to have the freedom to do what
they want to do when they want to do it. If they are unable to do so,
they feel restricted and imprisoned.
Chapter 2: How to Embrace Your Gift
As you have read, being an empath is physically and emotionally
exhausting, which can cause you to feel as if you don’t have a gift but a
burden. Feeling this burden is the first step towards embracing your gift.
You will now need to learn how to look after yourself so that you can
embrace your gift without feeling exhausted. This is an extremely important
process and you should invest time and effort into mastering the best
techniques for effective coping mechanisms. Once you learn how to cope
and function as an empath, you can use your gift to better yourself and your
environment.

Due to the constant feelings of overwhelming emotions and stress, you

must go to great lengths to eliminate the negative energy that you can
attract. The techniques that you learn should become a part of your daily
routine and will open your eyes to the true value of the gift that you have
been blessed with .
Even though being an empath is not a disease or a curse, it is controversial
and can cause you to feel so uncomfortable that you will try to suppress it.
In alcoholics or narcotics anonymous their slogan is the first step to cure is
to admit that you have a problem. The same applies to you as an empath;
the first step towards embracing your gift is admitting that you are indeed
an empath and that you are proud of it. Although this is a small step, it will
make a great difference, as you will eliminate a lot of the stress associated
with hiding your gift.
In order for you to feel relieved from the struggles of being an empath, it is
essential that you get enough rest. The most effective method of doing so is
to set a regular sleep-wake cycle and do what you can to ensure that you
have a restful sleep throughout the night (see chapter 5). You should also
take regular breaks throughout the day for relaxation and deep breathing
exercises to rid yourself of some of the stress that has built up throughout
the day. Such exercises will provide you with immediate relief (see chapter
7) .
Take care that you do not place yourself in environments that are overly
stimulating on a regular basis. It can be difficult to avoid them completely;
however, you should endeavor to avoid them as much as you can. If you
know that you are going to be in an overly stimulating environment, make
sure that you prepare yourself emotionally and mentally beforehand. This
will enable you to quickly rid yourself of any of the stress that you feel as a
result of the energy that you are surrounded by.
Social media and the internet in general are extremely stimulating
environments. It is advised that you often take a break from the energy that
is emitted through the internet. You don’t have to be in the physical
presence of someone to absorb their energy.
It is also advised that you have a regular routine in place for stress relief.
What you do depends on what you find relaxing. You might enjoy reading
motivational books, getting a massage, going to a spa, using aromatherapy
or taking a warm bath.
Here Are Some Helpful Tips To Assist You In
Fully Embracing Your Gift:
Appreciate And Honor Your State Of Consciousness
Empaths often feel pressure because they are different. Being different
brings many challenges because the world expects you to conform to its
norms and values. When you are misunderstood by others, it is easy to take
their disapproval personal and carry it as a burden. It is normal to be
emphatic and a gift to be in tune with yourself physically and spiritually. I
would go as far as saying that it is essential that you have this gift to survive
because it puts you on high alert when danger is surrounding you or your
family.
Identify The Difference Between Thought Consciousness
And Emphatic Consciousness
You can observe the difference between day and night because you can see
it. It is difficult to identify emphatic awareness because you can’t see it. It is
something that is felt and experienced on the inside. Once you can identify
this difference, you will begin to see your gift as a blessing instead of a
curse. You attain self-knowledge when you know when the mind and its
thoughts are dominating. Feelings and thoughts are different, and when you
recognize these differences, you will feel liberated. This knowledge will
give you the power to defend yourself against energetic tides instead of
being pulled into them .
Trust In Your Intuition
The majority of empaths awakening to their gifts ignore their gut instincts.
Don’t do this; your intuition is always correct. This does not mean that you
should fully understand or embrace the feeling. You may not have complete
knowledge of the situation, but the feeling is real and you should embrace
the deeper communication that is happening within.
Chapter 3: Understanding Energy
Once an empath starts to embrace their gift and understand that they don’t
have to carry other people’s energy around with them, a natural curiosity
about energy sets in. Through your symptoms and experiences, you are
aware of how powerfully energy can affect you in a negative way. If this is
the case, it is also possible that energy can have a positive effect on you.
Once you have learned how to deal with the stress of carrying energy, it
then frees you to learn how you can use energy positively. Learning how
energy works is an exciting adventure, and it can take you to places in life
that you didn’t think existed. As you have read, many empaths become
healers; these are the people who have learned how to embrace their gift
because they understand how their energy can have a positive effect on
others.

The first step in learning about energy is to understand how to ground

yourself from different energy. This will help you to avoid becoming
overwhelmed by the energy that you can feel. One of the most popular
grounding techniques is through visualization. This is where you
consciously imagine yourself being grounded; here are some steps to get
you started:
Sit comfortably in a chair and position both of your feet firmly on the
ground with your palms facing upwards. Don’t force yourself into a certain
position; simply allow your body to relax into the chair. Imagine that a
piercing white light is radiating from the sun and through your crown
chakra and leaving the bottom of your spine and then into the earth’s center.
Imagine that as your body is being filled with the white light, negative
black energy is being released through your palms. When your entire body
has been filled with the white light you will naturally relax knowing that
you are now filled with positive and peaceful energy.
You should practice visualization on a regular basis as a strategy to keep
you grounded to the earth underneath you, to release the negative energy
that has attached itself to you and to enhance your empath gift.
Working confidently with energy will cause you to stop feeling as if you are
out of control. It will enable you to protect yourself and heal yourself and
the people who are placed in your path. Ultimately, it will give you the
ability to control the energy that is directly affecting you.
There are many things that you can excel in when you learn to effectively
handle energy, which is one of the reasons it is so attractive to many. It is
your divine right to learn how to navigate this powerful terrain of energy so
that you can use it in a way that benefits you and others.
Mediumistic Abilities
A medium uses their intuitive or psychic abilities to see into the past,
present and future of an individual’s life by tuning into the spirit energy
surrounding that person. Mediums are reliant upon the presence of a
spiritual energy outside of themselves to gain accurate information about
the person they are reading. In the work of mediumship, a connection is
made with the dead to deliver messages to those who are alive. Information
is received directly from the dead, angels and spirit guides. There are four
main types of mediumship:
Clairsentience
You strongly sense the emotions and feelings of people, spirits, animals and
places. You feel these emotions both in your heart and in your body; you
also feel the presence of spirits. If you have clairsentient abilities:

You are very sensitive to your surroundings; you easily sense the
vibe of a person or place.
You have unexplainable physical or emotional reactions when you
go to places where there are large crowds.
Your emotions change suddenly when you are around people or
when you arrive at a person’s home.
You know what people are feeling without them telling you; you
can empathize with people easily.
You can feel the presence of spirits.
When people are in pain, you can feel it in your own body.
You use the words “I feel” when you are having conversations with
others.
You can taste and smell things from the spirit world.
Claircognizance
Information comes to you spontaneously; you don’t doubt it and believe in
your soul that it is 100 percent accurate. This information will either come
in the form of figures and facts, or you just know the truth of a situation, a
girlfriend/boyfriend or a career path. If you have claircognizant abilities:

You receive the answers to things and don’t understand how or

where it came from.
You have very inspirational, creative and beneficial ideas.
Your mind is never still; you are always coming up with a new idea,
especially when you are working on a project.
You automatically know when someone is telling the truth or not.
You tend to use the words “I know” when having conversations
with others.
Clairvoyance
You see things as images in your mind or as a precognition in dreams
before they manifest. If you have clairvoyant abilities:

You constantly have very vivid dreams.

Are very imaginative and spend a lot of time daydreaming.
Always speak in metaphors.
You can see shapes, colors, pictures or objects when you close your
eyes to sleep or during meditation.
You see flashes of light, sparkly lights, or movements through the
corners of your eyes.
You often use the words “I see” when you are talking to others.
Clairaudience
You hear messages either inside your mind or audibly. For the majority of
people, these messages come in the form of telepathic communication,
meaning that the spirits will have a conversation with you through your
thoughts. You can have a conversation with the spirits and they will reply. If
you have clairaudient traits:

You listen more than you talk.

You speak to plants and animals because you believe that they can
communicate with you.
You often feel as if you are the recipient of telepathic information.
When you provide really helpful advice, you forget what you said
straight away and wonder where you got such wise information.
You often hear buzzing or ringing in your ears. You experience the
same sensation in your ears just before they pop on an airplane.
You use the words “I hear” when speaking to people.
Due to the intuitive nature of empaths, they are often drawn to mediumistic
abilities. This is not a natural trait of an empath, but that doesn’t mean that
you can’t have the gift; it is in fact easier for an empath to develop this gift
because of their sensitivity to the spirit world. If you feel that you are being
drawn to this area and you decide that you want to develop this skill, it is
not something that you should take lightly and is crucial that you find a
good teacher. As you have now learned, empaths absorb all types of energy,
whether positive or negative, and if you get in contact with the wrong spirit,
it will torment you.

Psychic Abilities
Empaths are capable of sensing things before they manifest; the psychic
ability is strongly connected to your ability to “just know.” You will often
have visions or premonitions about things prior to them happening. You
can’t learn to have visions or premonitions, but you can train yourself to
have them whenever you need to. This provides you with the wonderful and
powerful ability to be able to predict future events. You may not have
experienced any premonitions or visions yet, but this doesn’t mean that you
can’t operate in that gift; it may be that you haven’t tapped into it yet. As
you learn how to control this gift, you will find it easy and exciting to
predict the future.

Energy Projection
One of the things that you may not be aware of as an empath is that you can
send energy to people. When you do so you are giving that individual the
particular sensation or vibe that you want them to experience. This is a skill
that is used for remote healing, where empaths are capable of healing
people when they are not even in their presence. Others use this as a way of
praying for people and sending good energy and thoughts in the direction of
another person to help them to get through a difficult time when they are
unable to be there personally. Sending energy is not limited to empaths;
everyone can do this if they put their mind to it. However, when empaths
send energy the recipient is more likely to feel it because they have a
powerful connection to the energy source.
Healing
Empaths understand the connection that energy and people have, this is
referred to as an energy body, and it can become inflicted with illness or
pain. When you are trained in energy healing, you learn how you can work
with your own or another person’s energy body to induce healing to create a
healthy energy body.
Chapter 4: Empaths and Spiritual
Hypersensitivity
Empaths often suffer from spiritual based hypersensitivity; the symptoms
include:

Your environment causes you to feel overwhelmed

Sounds are too loud, even if made at a normal range
You constantly feel the feelings of others

This type of energetic overwhelm is nothing new; the spiritual community

has been dealing with it for many years. As more and more empaths choose
to ignore their gift, they are becoming less connected with the universe,
which has led to an increase in spiritual based hypersensitivity.
Oversensitivity to people’s energy and noise is a common reaction to
energy acceleration, as you ascend to higher heights in your spiritual
development, you should expect to experience this. When you begin to
accelerate in the spiritual realm, you may feel like a radio signal picking up
a million signals at once. When there is a shift in spiritual vibration, your
sense of intuition and your emphatic channels are open causing a
heightened awareness of the thoughts and feelings of those around you.
Spiritual hypersensitivity can manifest physically causing third eye
dizziness, hypersensitivity to energy, odors, light and noise.
Metaphysics believes that the body is a vehicle for the spirit, the body is not
who we are; our person is carried in our spirit. Wayne Dyer states that we
are spiritual beings living in a physical world. Everything that happens in
the physical first happens in the realm of the spirit; therefore, if there is an
imbalance in your spirit it will manifest through your physical body.
Metaphysical wellness counselors always address the spiritual aspects of
healing before focusing on the physical, and it is spiritual alignment that
cures the physical ailments .

How to Cope With Spiritual Hypersensitivity

When the body is overwhelmed physically, emotionally or mentally, the
fight or flight syndrome is activated and breathing becomes shallow. When
you begin to experience a change in your breathing pattern, you should
immediately start practicing conscious breathing. This is where you focus
your attention on your breath, which will slow down your nervous system
and allow you to relax. Breathe slowly, deeply and in a rhythm at the same
time as focusing your mind on being able to relax in the situation that you
are in. You should always take a temporary retreat from any stressful
situation such as family or work-related conflicts. Excusing yourself to the
bathroom is a good way to do this. This will allow you to get away from the
negative energy, practice your breathing techniques and renew yourself.
There are also several spiritual healing tools
that you can use:
Prayer
Depending on what you believe in, prayer can always bring comfort in an
overwhelming situation. One of the most talked about and effective prayers
is the H’oponopono prayer. Here is the story behind it.
The Hawaii State Hospital for the criminally insane was a clinic for those
who had committed the most heinous of crimes. Criminals who had
committed murder, kidnap, rape or other crimes of such magnitude were
either sent there because of their mental condition or to determine whether
they were sane enough to stand trial. According to one of the nurses who
worked there, it was a place with no hope; the atmosphere was so congested
with evil and negativity that not even paint wanted to reside in the building
and would not stick to the walls. Everything was rotting, decaying,
repulsive and terrifying. Not a day would go by without someone being
physically attacked.
The doctors and nurses were bound by fear; when an inmate was walking in
their direction, even though they were shackled hand and foot, they would
walk as close to the walls as possible to keep away from them. However,
not even shackles could stop the attacks, and so the inmates were never
taken outside unless it was an absolute emergency. Staff were absent the
majority of the time and would often take sick leave to escape the
depressing and dangerous environment that they were working in .
Every few months, a new doctor was hired because they were unable to
handle the inmates, but one day Dr. Stanley Hew Len entered the clinic.
The nurses were not at all enthusiastic; they were convinced he would be
like the rest and bombard them with his supposed superior strategy that
would get the place in order and then leave within a few months when he
realized the reality of the situation he had got himself into. They soon
discovered that everything about this doctor was different; he wasn’t doing
anything significant, but his demeanor didn’t fit the environment. Where
everyone else was depressed and angry, he was always naturally relaxed,
cheerful and smiling. Every so often, he would ask for the files of the
inmates; he rarely saw them personally, but he would sit in his office and
look over their files. To the members of staff who were interested in the
way he chose to operate, he would tell them about something he referred to
as H’oponopono. As the months went by, things started to change in the
hospital, the walls were painted and the paint actually remained on the
walls, which gave the place some life. The gardens were being pruned, the
tennis courts were repaired and prisoners who ordinarily were never
allowed to go outside began to play tennis with the staff. They began to
allow some of the prisoners to move around without their shackles and the
inmates started to take fewer psychotropic medications.
The shift in the atmosphere was astounding; the staff began to come to
work, and where there was once a shortage of applicants, there was now a
high demand to work at the clinic and they slowly began to release the
prisoners. Dr. Hew Len was employed by the clinic for almost four years;
by the time he left, there were only a few inmates remaining who were
eventually housed in another location because the clinic had to close, as the
prisoners no longer required their services.
It appeared that Dr. Hew Len didn’t apply any specific technique or give the
prisoners any medication. All he seemed to do was look at their files, but
what he did do was heal himself with a traditional Hawaiian spiritual
remedy referred to as H’oponopono. In Dr. Len’s own words, “I was
healing the part of me that created them.”
While he sat in his office looking at each individual patient file, he would
feel pain and empathy towards them. Dr. Len would then use what he was
feeling to heal himself, taking on full responsibility for what each patient
appeared to be going through. The prisoners were healed because their
doctor took on their pain and healed them through himself.
H’oponopono is based on the belief that we create our own environment;
there are no external forces responsible for what is taking place within our
surroundings. If your boss is evil, you are responsible. If your children are
not doing well in school, you are responsible. World wars and poverty are
your responsibility. The bottom line is that the world belongs to you and it
is your responsibility to take care of it. Taking responsibility doesn’t mean
that the problems are your fault, it simply means that you need to heal
yourself in order to heal the situation that you find distressing.
Some may agree with this theology, and to others it may appear completely
nonsensical; but if you really choose to analyze it, you will find that your
perception of the world is your reality. If you think the world is depressive
and pointless because you choose to focus on all of the negative that is
surrounding you, that’s how you perceive the world. You could change it if
you would focus on changing yourself. Two people can live in the same
environment but perceive it completely differently simply because of their
perception.

So how can you heal yourself with

H’oponopono? There are four steps to the
concept:
Repent: Say you are sorry for the part that you have played in the
things you perceive as evil or problematic that are surrounding you.
As an empath you can say that you are sorry for the pain that the
people you have met recently are experiencing. Whatever you feel
responsible for, say you are sorry for it; feel the remorse and mean
it.
Ask for Forgiveness: You are probably wondering, “Well, who am
I asking?” We all have our different belief systems. The majority of
us and especially empaths believe in some kind of higher power and
so that is who you ask to forgive you.
Gratitude: Say thank you; there is so much power in gratitude. If
you take your focus off the negative, you will find that you have so
many things to be thankful for. Say thank you that you woke up this
morning. Say thank you that you have eyes to see, a nose to smell,
legs to walk on, that your internal organs are all in working order.
Find something to say thank you for and say it continuously.
Love: Love is the most powerful force in the universe; saying the
words, “I love you” over and over again will bring love into your
life. You can say I love you to your cat, your house, your car, the
sky, the trees! Whatever you feel love towards, say it.
Water
Water has extraordinary balancing and healing properties during times of
hypersensitivity. When consumed with consciousness, it provides inner
alignment. You can balance the surrounding energy by putting a drop of
water on your third eye area. When you apply water that you have
energized, it leads to even more powerful results. You can energize water by
praying over it, or putting a word on the bottle with the intention of infusing
the words frequency into the bottle. Words such as healing, calmness, and
peace work well.
Taking a hot shower works well for aura cleansing and for the restoration of
energetic balance. Take a shower and imagine the water washing away
negative feelings, impressions and thoughts from others and envision all of
the negative energy being sucked down the drain .

Mindfulness
This technique can pull calming energy into the body. Focus on your breath
at the same time as looking at something beautiful like a rose, the sun or the
sky. You can even focus on the palm of your hands as if this is the first time
you have seen them. You can redirect the attention you are paying to your
feelings by focusing on something visual.
Essential Oils
Essential oils have a calming effect and can greatly improve the anxiety
associated with spiritual hypersensitivity. The American College of
Healthcare Sciences conducted a study in 2014, in which 58 hospice
patients were given a daily hand massage for one week using a blend of
essential oils. The oil blend was made up of lavender, frankincense and
bergamot. All patients reported less depression and pain as a result of the
essential oil massages. The study concluded that essential oil blend
aromatherapy massages were more effective for depression and pain
management than massage alone.
The following are some of the best oils for treating anxiety:
Lavender
Lavender oil has a relaxing and calming effect; it restores the nervous
system, provides inner peace, better sleep, causes a reduction in
restlessness, panic attacks, irritability and general nervous tension. There
have been several clinical studies proving that inhaling lavender causes an
immediate reduction in anxiety and stress. One study discovered that taking
lavender oil capsules orally led to an increase in heart rate variation in
comparison to the placebo while watching a film that caused anxiety. The
study concluded that lavender had an anxiolytic effect, which means that it
has the ability to inhibit anxiety.
Other studies have concluded that lavender has the ability to reduce anxiety
in patients having coronary artery bypass surgery and in patients who are
afraid of the dentist.
Rose
Rose alleviates depression, anxiety, grieving, shock and panic attacks. The
Iranian Red Crescent Medical Journal published a study in which a group of
women experiencing their first pregnancy inhaled rose oil for 10 minutes at
the same time as having a footbath. A second group of women experiencing
pregnancy for the first time was also given the footbath but without the rose
oil inhalation. The results discovered that a footbath combined with
aromatherapy caused a reduction in anxiety in nulliparous (a woman that
has not had any children yet) women in the active phase.
Vetiver
Vetiver oil contains reassuring, grounding and tranquil energy. It is often
used for patients experiencing trauma and helps with stabilization and self-
awareness. It also has a calming effect. Vetiver oil is a nervous system
tonic; it reduces hypersensitivity, jitteriness, shock and panic attacks. The
Natural Product Research published a study that examined rats with anxiety
disorders and found that vetiver oil caused a reduction in anxiety.
Ylang Ylang
Ylang ylang has a calming and uplifting effect; it improves depression and
anxiety due to its ability to induce optimism, cheerfulness, and courage.
Ylang ylang also soothes fear, nervous palpitations and heart agitation. It is
also a sedative that helps with insomnia.
A 2006 study conducted in Korea by Geochang Provincial College found
that using a combination of ylang ylang, lavender and bergamot oil for four
weeks once a day caused a reduction in blood pressure, hypertension, serum
cortisol levels, and psychological stress responses.
Bergamot oil
Bergamot is one of the ingredients in Earl Grey tea and has a distinctive
floral aroma and taste. Bergamot oil provides soothing energy that reduces
depression, agitation, induces relaxation and helps with insomnia. A study
conducted in 2011 discovered that the application of bergamot oil reduced
anxiety, depression, blood pressure and pulse rate.
Chamomile
Chamomile oil is known for its calming effect and its ability to produce
inner peace, reduce worry, anxiety, over-thinking and irritability. The
University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine conducted an explorative
study and found that it contains medicinal anti-depressant properties. The
National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health also found that
chamomile capsules have the ability to reduce anxiety related symptoms.
Frankincense
Frankincense oil is great for treating anxiety and depression due to its
tranquil energy and calming effects. It also helps you focus, quiet the mind
and deepen meditation. A Keimyung University study in Korea found that a
combination of lavender, frankincense and bergamot reduced pain and
depression in hospice patients suffering from terminal cancer.
How to Use Essential Oils for Hypersensitivity
Essential oils are either ingested, applied topically or used in aromatherapy.
Here are some suggestions for their usage:
Aromatherapy
Aromatherapy is a very popular remedy for anxiety because of the human
ability to process information through smell; it can trigger a very powerful
emotional response. There is a region in the brain called the limbic system
that controls memory recall and emotional processing. Inhaling the scent of
essential oils stimulates a mental response in the brain's limbic system,
which regulates stress and calming responses such as the production of
hormones, blood pressure and breathing patterns. You can use the oils in the
bath, a hot water vapor, direct inhalation, a humidifier or vaporizer,
cologne, perfume, a vent or aromatherapy diffusers.
Oral Application
You can consume the majority of essential oils orally. However, it is
essential that the oils you use are safe and pure. The majority of
commercialized oils have been blended with synthetics or diluted with other
substances making them unsafe for ingesting. The most effective method
for consuming essential oils is to combine a drop of oil with a teaspoon of
honey or drop the oil into a glass of water. You can also add a couple of
drops to the food you are cooking. You can place a couple of drops under
your tongue. This is particularly beneficial because the blood capillaries are
located under the tongue near the surface of the tissue, which allows the oil
to quickly absorb into the bloodstream and travel to the area of the body
where it is required. You can also take essential oils in capsule form.
Topical Application
Topical application is the process of placing essential oils on the skin, nails,
teeth, hair or mucous membranes of the body. The oils are quickly absorbed
by the skin. Due to the strength of the oils, it is essential that you dilute or
blend them with a carrier oil such as coconut, avocado, jojoba, or sweet
almond oil. You can apply the blended mixture directly to the affected area,
around the rims of the ears, the soles of the feet, in the bath, through a warm
compress, or through a massage.
To learn more about how to optimize essential oils in your life, refer to the
end of the book where I’ve included four high quality essential oil recipes
to relieve anxiety.
Chapter 5: Empaths, Insomnia,
Exhaustion and Adrenal Fatigue
Due to the emotional responsibilities that empaths carry, they often
experience a sudden drop in energy, which leads to chronic fatigue. When
an empath does not remain grounded, balanced and consciously aware, they
can unconsciously give their energy to others. When an empath spends too
much time in the company of negative or depressed people, they take on
their energy, and this can lead to emotional exhaustion. This is one of the
main reasons they must spend time alone as a way of recharging their
internal batteries.

The mind, soul and body are connected; whatever we think and feel has an
effect on our physical body. An empath must have regular periods of
isolation throughout the day in order to process feelings and emotions. This
prevents emotional exhaustion, which then enables them to constantly let go
of crushing negative energy. If an empath does not do this, they find it
difficult to sleep at night because their minds are unable to process and
make sense of the information that took place during the day. This
hyperactive mindset causes empaths to become extremely tired. If it is not
possible for the empath to find solitude during the day, it is essential that
they meditate before they go to bed so that they can release any emotions
they have come into contact with throughout the day.

Effects of the adrenal Glands

Negative feelings can lead to the empath experiencing fear, resentment,
anxiety, paranoia and panic, and they become genuinely convinced that
something bad is going to happen to them. These thoughts send signals to
the adrenal glands, which produce hormones that release excess amounts of
energy. Not enough sleep, too much work, bad diet, bad relationships, and
family problems all have a negative effect on the adrenal glands. The
adrenal glands are shaped like the kidneys but are approximately the size of
a walnut. They are located just above the kidneys in the lower back area.
The adrenal glands are of great benefit when we are under stress because
they assist in keeping us focused and alert and they increase our levels of
stamina, which enables us to handle pressure .
However, when the adrenal glands are over stimulated, they continue to
produce energy, which is what prevents us from being able to sleep. The
mind and body stay on high alert, which causes excess stress on the adrenal
glands and will eventually cause them to malfunction. A lack of energy
leads to a craving for foods that are high in sugar and refined salt, which
quickly turn into energy giving the body an instant but short-lived energy
boost.
The body naturally craves sugar and salt. However, we tend to feed it with
refined sugar and salt, which is found in the majority of junk and processed
foods. In excess amounts, these foods can cause a range of different health
problems. Unrefined sugar and is nutritious in healthy doses and can
replenish and nourish the adrenal glands.
When the adrenal glands are not functioning properly, you will feel tired,
groggy, anxious, irritable, overwhelmed and dizzy. You may also
experience heart palpitations, high or low blood pressure, salt and sugar
cravings as well as find it difficult to handle times of stress. If our bodies
are in harmony, a good diet, sleeping well and positive thoughts, the adrenal
glands are not overwhelmed easily. Cortisol is a hormone produced by the
adrenal glands; during sleep our cortisol levels rise and peak a few hours
before daybreak. This is how the body naturally prepares itself for the day
and it is referred to as the circadian rhythm. It increases our energy levels so
we are capable of functioning throughout the day. When the adrenal glands
are overworked, we wake up feeling exhausted even if we have had the
normal eight hours of sleep. We feel tired throughout the day, which then
causes our cortisol levels to peak in the evening, making it hard for us to
sleep properly.

Keeping the adrenal glands in a healthy state

It takes a long time to destroy the adrenal glands, and it will take the same
amount of time to repair it. However, there are some changes that we can
make in our lives that will help immediately. It is essential that we spend
time listening to our body so that we are aware of how it feels at any given
moment. This allows us to keep track of our energy levels throughout the
day. You may find that your energy levels fluctuate throughout the day and
that there are certain times of the day when your energy levels drop the
most. It is imperative that you understand why so much stress is being
placed on the adrenal glands. When the root cause of the problem is
identified, we can ensure that we don’t remain in that heightened state that
causes further strain on the adrenal glands.
Meditation is a powerful tool for emptying the mind and spirit of negative
emotions. It also helps us focus on the body so that we are aware of any
physical sensations that are taking place. When we feel isolated, lonely and
separated, cortisol levels can increase; you can combat this by spending
time with friends and family. However, if you are the type of person who
likes spending time alone and you enjoy your own company, periods of
isolation is not a problem.
Diet and exercise can have a negative effect on the adrenal gland. It is not a
good idea to push too hard during a workout; your body will tell you when
it has had enough, and it is essential that you stop at this point or you will
cause the adrenal glands to produce excess stress-related hormones.
Eating junk food, skipping meals and hardcore workouts all cause the
adrenal glands to overwork. To keep the adrenal glands in a healthy state,
we should eat an organic, nutritional and well-balanced diet with the daily
protein requirements, with vitamins A, B, and C. You should refrain from
excess alcohol and preferably eliminate refined salt, sugar and caffeine
intake. A healthy state of mind where you feel peaceful and content with
life and getting enough sleep at night all contribute to healthy adrenal
glands.

Why Cut Out Refined Salt?

Research conducted by the director of the University of Washington in
Seattle found that low sodium levels cause a reduction in blood volume.
The body compensates by activating the sympathetic nervous system,
which releases adrenaline triggering the fight or flight response, which
makes sleep difficult.

Why Cut Out Refined Sugar?

When the adrenals have been overworked, it can cause interrupted sleep
patterns often from vivid dreams, all of which can cause heightened anxiety.
Stress and anxiety contribute to sleepless nights due to excess adrenaline;
this typically takes place between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m. The surge of
hormones makes it difficult for us to remain calm and wakes the body up in
an agitated state.
Here is a natural remedy that will assist in eliminating this problem:
Honey and Salt
Combine five teaspoons of raw organic honey with 1 teaspoon of
Himalayan rock salt. Twenty minutes before going to bed, place a small
amount under the tongue and let it dissolve. The combination of salt and
honey naturally de-stresses the body through hormone regulation. This
results in a harmonious, peaceful and restful state, which prepares the body
for a deep sleep. Honey and salt also sustains the body, preventing you from
waking up feeling hungry during the night.
Those who consume honey and salt before going to bed have reported that
they no longer experience sleep deprivation; they sleep throughout the night
and wake up energized and refreshed and no longer experience dips in
energy throughout the day. Bedtime anxiety has now been replaced with
peace and tranquility knowing that they will be asleep within minutes and
remain in a sound smooth sleep until the morning.
The Benefits of Raw Organic Honey:
Honey aids in releasing liver glycogen in the brain. A lack of liver glycogen
causes the adrenal glands to produce the stress hormones cortisol and
adrenaline. One of the ingredients in honey is tryptophan, which is
responsible for producing serotonin, a hormone that induces relaxation.
When there is no light, serotonin is converted to melatonin, which causes
restorative sleep.
Melatonin regulates the sleep-wake cycle as it works in harmony with the
morning and night. When our melatonin levels are stable, we fall asleep
easily and naturally when it gets dark and when light starts to enter the
room, our body automatically wakes up.
We have been taught to believe that salt is bad for the health; this statement
is not entirely true. A healthy balance of the right salt stabilizes the
metabolism. It is essential that we have a healthy metabolism, as it is
required to ensure that the food we eat is absorbed and turned into energy.
Salt contains anti-excitatory and anti-stress properties, which reduces our
stress levels and helps us to remain calm.
We often have a craving for salt not realizing that it eliminates anxiety and
creates an overall sense of well-being. Unfortunately, when this need arises
the majority of us will consume processed foods containing refined table
salts, which have no health benefits. When we start consuming unrefined
salts such as Celtic, Himalayan or Real salt, we immediately notice that our
stress levels go down, our energy levels are increased and we have a clear
mental and emotional state.
Another myth is that eating after 7 p.m. causes weight gain; there is no
scientific evidence to prove this. However, there is evidence to suggest that
an evening snack helps us to stay asleep because when we get hungry, the
adrenal stress hormone is activated by the brain, which then puts us on the
fight or flight alert.

Benefits of a Himalayan Salt Lamp

A Himalayan salt lamp is a huge piece of pure Himalayan Salt with a small
bulb on the inside. It provides a subtle warm glow that improves the quality
of the air. Mobile phones and laptops release an overload of positive ions
into the air. A Himalayan salt lamp will make you feel happier and create a
sense of calmness and freshness to the air as the ions are balanced out. An
ion is a molecule or atom in which the sum of the electrons is not equal to
the sum of the protons; this gives the atom a net negative or positive
electrical charge.
Cations are also referred to as positive charged ions, and anions are also
referred to as negative charged ions. The combination of negative and
positive charged ions enables them to bond and move around in the
atmosphere.
Negative ions are typically created by sunlight, lightning storms, ocean
waves and waterfalls. According to Pierce J. Howard, the author of “The
Owner’s Manual for the Brain,” there are several benefits associated with
negative ions. They cause more oxygen to flow to the brain, which results
in less drowsiness, more mental energy and alertness. They protect against
germs in the atmosphere that cause sneezing, throat irritation and coughing.
One in three people are sensitive to the effectiveness of negative ions and
can make people feel refreshed instantly .
The best way to get negative ion exposure is to spend time outdoors,
especially around water. Himalayan salt lamps produce small amounts of
negative ions. Positive ions are generated by electronic devices such as
microwaves, TVs, computers, and vacuum cleaners. They can cause and
intensify health problems such as sleep deprivation, allergies and stress.
Negative and positive ions bond together, which causes the negative ions to
neutralize the positive ions. This process helps to cleanse the air. Salt lamps
also provide a soft glow, which many people find relaxing.
Salt is hygroscopic, which means that it pulls water to the surface so that it
quickly evaporates due to the heat emitted from the light bulb. This is one
of the reasons salt lamps leak water in humid climates. When there is water
vapor in the air, it carries bacteria, mold and allergens. Salt lamps draw the
water vapor as well as the elements it is carrying to the surface of the lamp
thereby removing it from the air. This is one of the most beneficial
functions of a salt lamp.
A Low-Lamp Light Makes a Great Night Light
According to research, the body is affected by different colors of light. It is
recommended that blue light be avoided after the sun goes down because it
can have a negative effect on the circadian rhythm, which disrupts sleep
hormones.
The majority of light sources such as tablets, laptops, computers, TVs, and
cell phones emit blue light and the majority of us spend hours on end
staring at these screens, especially during the evening .
Salt lamps provide a warm orange light similar to the light that radiates
from candlelight or a campfire. This is why they are a beneficial light
source and can stay on throughout the night without interrupting sleep.
For those who suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD), soft orange
hues increase focus, boost energy levels and calm moods. The negative ions
also contain mood-enhancing elements.
Chapter 6: How to Protect Yourself
from Energy Vampires
An energy vampire is a person who drains your energy; they are also
referred to as energy suckers and psychic vampires. Some energy vampires
are conscious of what they are doing and others are not. The unconscious
are typically mentally ill or emotionally unstable; they have a desperate
need to draw life from those who have healthy and strong energy. Empaths
will usually feel dizzy or drained when energy is being drawn from them by
a vampire.

There are also conscious energy vampires who have been trained by
negative and dark forces to collect positive energy. They do this for several
reasons: to gain recognition, power, boost their self-esteem, boost their ego
and for youth or health.
It is essential that you protect yourself from energy drainers; here are some
strategies to help you:

Don’t Give too Much

It is good to give, as it enhances your psychic awareness, spiritual growth
and your personal evolution. However, it is important that you replenish
yourself every time you give; you need to master the balance of giving and
receiving. When someone gives you something small, like paying you a
compliment, receive it with an open heart and say thank you; there is no
need to give back to them and respond with another compliment.

Refrain From People Pleasing

There are some people who will attempt to please everyone. This is simply
not possible; we all have different frequency vibrations. You will attract
those who you are on a similar vibration with and the others you will
deflect. You can be your own energy vampire when you attempt to please
everyone.

Be Cautious of Egotistical People

People who are only focused on themselves will drain you. When you have
a conversation with them, all they can talk about is what they are doing and
will ask how you are just as you are about to part ways. You will feel
drained at the end of a conversation with them; limit your contact with or
completely remove such people from your life.

Be Cautious of Needy People

Needy people do any and everything to get your attention. They are
constantly asking for your help and advice but never apply it. These people
will waste your time and drain your energy. Train yourself to know when
you are dealing with such people and reduce the amount of contact that you
have with them.

Be Careful of Drama Queens

These people are not difficult to detect because they are always involved in
some type of problem. Everything that could go wrong does, and they are
constantly bombarding you with emails, phone calls and text messages
about the latest catastrophe in their life. Before you realize it, you will have
no energy left. It is essential that you don’t waste your time engaging with
such people because they will destroy your field of energy.

Clarity
Don’t waste time beating around the bush with people, get straight to the
point. When a person is being too negative, shut them down; when a person
keeps operating in the same behaviors and then asking for your advice, shut
them down. If someone asks you to do something for them and you can’t do
it, just say so. You don’t need to be rude, just be firm and let people know
what your boundaries are so that they don’t cross them.

Herb Smudging
Smudging involves the process of burning herbs to create a bath of
cleansing smoke for the purpose of protection, purification and healing.
Palo Santo Wood, also referred to as Holy Wood, is a type of sacred wood
used by the indigenous people of the Andes and the shamans in Peru for
purifying, medicinal purposes and to remove evil spirits. You can use cedar,
sage and pine for smudging.

Gemstones and Crystals or Gem Elixirs

Quartz crystals, tiger eye, amethyst, tourmaline, obsidian and onyx are all
used to protect against emotional distress, danger, psychic attack, empathy
and oversensitivity.

Orgone
Orgone has several functions, including creating a protective energy field
that surrounds your environment and your aura and deflecting negative
energy. They are also used as a shield to deflect harmful pollutions and
electromagnetic frequencies.
You should place four orgone protectors in the four corners of your home to
protect against harmful energy and to ground spiritual energies. The Orgone
Amulet of Protection provides protection against psychic attacks, bad vibes,
emotional pollution and evil eye.
Candles
Candles remove negative energy from your home. They are also excellent
for manifesting purposes. Dark blue, red and white candles are good colors
to use for self-protection.

Resins and Incense

Incense made from natural substances such as frankincense, myrrh, sage,
sandalwood, and musk are used to cleanse the atmosphere of homes and
environments.

Baths
Add ½ cup of sea salt to your bath; this will cleanse negative energy that
has attached itself to you after being in the presence of certain people. Steep
a teaspoon of clove or basil into a cup of boiling water, strain the herbs out
and add it to your bath; these herbs are known for their cleansing and
protecting properties.

Protection Prayers and Chants

Any chants or prayers will work as long as they come from the heart using
intensity, passion and determination.
Chapter 7: Empaths and Work
As an empath, you will face particular challenges in the workplace.
Everyone deserves a job that fits their abilities and personality, but you need
to take extra care before accepting a position because a toxic work
environment can make you emotionally, spiritually, and physically sick –
fast. So, as an empath, how can you pick the right kind of job and thrive at
work?

Always Ask For A Workplace Tour Before

Accepting A Role
When you go for an interview, ask whether you can take a tour if someone
hasn’t already offered to show you around. Pay attention to the employees’
facial expressions, their body language, and the way they talk to one
another. You’ll quickly surmise whether the organization is toxic. Unless
you are in desperate need of money, follow your gut instinct and avoid
workplaces that contain a significant amount of negative energy .
Pay close attention to the lighting, the noise levels, the amount of clutter,
and the layout of the desks. Ask yourself whether you could be comfortable
working in such an environment, from both a physical and emotional
perspective. A high salary might be enticing, but your health and sanity
must come first. Even if other people tell you that a job is too good an
opportunity to pass up, trust your intuition.
You have the power to make a positive difference in the workplace, but you
are under no obligation to sacrifice your mental and physical health if doing
so is beyond your comfort zone. Never feel bad about choosing the right job
for you.

Use Your Gift As A Selling Point

Empaths are not show-offs by nature, and the prospect of selling yourself in
a job interview might be enough to make you feel queasy. But think of it
this way – your empathic qualities are actually an increasingly valuable
commodity in the workplace. We tend to associate the business world, and
even the public sector, with a kind of cut-throat mentality where everyone is
trying to outdo one another and compete for the best positions and the most
money.
However, our society is increasingly aware that taking care of one another
and our planet is the only way forward. We still have a long way to go in
creating a more caring world but, in general, we are starting to understand
the benefit of a healthy work-life balance and the merit of cooperative
working practices rather than a dog-eat-dog mentality. If you feel up to the
challenge, you can use your gift to help drive this change!
You know that there is far more to life – and work – than status or salary.
Your gift makes you perfectly suited to roles that require listening, conflict
resolution, and mentoring skills. Psychiatrist, author, and empath Dr. Judith
Orloff maintains that empaths bring passion, excellent communication
skills, and leadership ability to their professional roles. When an
interviewer asks what you can bring to a job, don’t hesitate to give
examples of times you have demonstrated these gifts.

Working Alone Versus Working With Others

Although you have strong leadership potential, a role involving extensive
contact with colleagues and customers on a day-to-day basis may prove too
draining, especially if you are not yet confident in your ability to handle
negative energy and toxic individuals. Be honest with yourself when
applying for a position. If it entails working as part of a busy team with few
opportunities to recharge during the day, think carefully before making an
application.
Most empaths are well suited to working for themselves or taking on jobs
within small organizations. Working in a large office or noisy environment
may be too stimulating – and that’s fine! We all have different needs and
talents, so do not allow anyone to make you feel inferior for not being able
to handle a “normal” workplace. As an empath, you may quickly become
overwhelmed by the prospect of having to interact with coworkers,
members of the management team, and customers.
On the other hand, working alone can result in social isolation if you take it
to extremes. If you decide to run a small business from home, for example,
be sure to schedule some time with family and friends at least a couple of
times per week.
Not only do you need to nurture your relationships, but it is also helpful to
gain an outsider’s perspective on your work from time to time. Sometimes,
you may get so caught up in a project that relatively minor problems seem
to take on a life of their own. Talking to other people allows you to take a
more realistic view and help you come up with new solutions .

If Your Environment Drains Your Energy, Ask

For Reasonable Adjustments
You can’t expect your boss to redecorate the office just to suit your
preferences or to fire an energy vampire, but you can ask them politely
whether they would mind making a few small adjustments. For example, if
there is a harsh strip light directly over your desk, you could ask whether it
would be possible to turn off the light and use softer, gentler lamps instead.
If you work in an environment in which people talk loudly, experiment with
white noise or other sound recordings designed to trigger feelings of calm
and emotional stability. Try sounds recorded in nature, as these are often
soothing for empaths. You can find lots of free resources on YouTube or
specialized noise-generating sites such as mynoise.net. If possible, listen to
natural or white noise via noise-cancellation headphones for at least a
portion of your workday.
There are also additions and adjustments you can make that do not require
permission from your boss. For instance, you can place crystals on your
desk as a means of countering negative energy and set aside a few minutes
each day – even if you are incredibly busy – to ensure your desk is clear of
unnecessary clutter. If you work with a computer, pick a calming scene or
color as your desktop wallpaper. Frame a photo or uplifting picture and
keep it on your desk. Look at it for a few seconds when you need a dose of
positive energy.
If you enjoy your job but would prefer to spend less time around other
people, consider asking your manager whether you can work from home a
couple of days each week. This can give you some respite from other
peoples’ energy and enables you to take a break at any time. Working from
home comes with the privilege of setting up an environment that suits you
perfectly. For example, you could install a water feature on your desk or
play natural background noise throughout the day without fear of eliciting
annoying questions from your coworkers.

Watch Out For Energy Vampires

If you come across an energy vampire in your personal life, you usually
have the option of cutting contact with them, or at least limiting how much
time the two of you spend hanging out. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case
when you are forced to work alongside them.
This is where boundaries come into play. You need to politely but firmly
assert yourself from the outset of your professional relationship. Don’t be
drawn into petty workplace gossip, and don’t accept any invitations from
toxic people to socialize outside of work. Draw on your best energy self-
defense skills, and always put your wellbeing before professional
obligations.
Empaths who choose to work in the helping professions, whether with other
people or animals, need to remain aware of the effect of their work on their
energy levels. For example, if you work as a psychologist or therapist,
speaking to a client who is going through an especially sad or difficult time
in their life can leave you exhausted, depleted, and even depressed. Be sure
to allow a few minutes between clients or appointments in which to ground
yourself, and schedule plenty of time to relax and nurture yourself outside
of work.

Draw A Line Between Your Workplace and

Home
If you work outside the home, it’s a good idea to devise a routine that
creates a clear dividing line between your professional and personal life. As
an empath, you are susceptible to carrying the negative energy of others
with you. You may catch yourself worrying not only about the problems
you are facing at work, but also those of your colleagues, bosses, and
customers. Unless you learn how to “switch off,” you will soon become
overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed.
When it’s time to wrap up your work for the day, stay mindful of the
transition between work and home. Create a ritual that automatically
encourages you to switch your focus to personal interests and feelings
rather than those of colleagues and clients. For example, you may wish to
spend the final five minutes of your workday in meditation or tidying your
desk whilst listening to a particular soundtrack or piece of music. If you
have a friend or relative who always raises your energy levels, you could
get into the habit of texting them just before leaving work or on the way
home.

Focus On How Your Work Helps Others

It isn’t always possible to change your job or work in the field of your
choosing. If you are stuck in a job that isn’t right for you and are in no
position to make a change any time soon, try approaching your work with a
new mindset.
As an empath, you have a talent for helping others. Not only do they benefit
from your support, but you also get to soak up their positive energy too. It’s
truly a win-win situation! Try to find opportunities to lend a hand to
someone else, and offer emotional support as long as it doesn’t leave you
feeling too drained.
For example, if one of your colleagues seems especially stressed, take the
initiative and ask them if they’d like to talk to you for five minutes about
anything that’s bothering them. Sometimes, just offering a listening ear can
turn someone’s day around! Or perhaps you could offer a more practical
form of help. For instance, you could offer to take everyone’s mail to the
mailroom on your coffee break. Acts of service and kindness allow you to
find a sense of meaning in your work, even if you are hoping to change
careers in the near future.
Chapter 8: Normalizing and
Maintaining Your Gift
Now that you have learned how to embrace and leverage your gift, the next
step is to normalize it. This involves learning how to make the gift a normal
part of everyday life. At this stage, you will no longer need to think about
how you plan on responding or how you intend to use your gift, you will
just be able to use it and reap the benefits from it. There will be no need to
put any effort into the thinking about tapping into your gift; it will become
like the air that you breathe.

The normalizing process is a crucial part of fully stepping into your gift as
an empath. It will free you from worrying about the fact that you are an
empath because now you are capable of managing it consistently. Never
again will you have to worry that your gift has some type of hold over you
because you now know what you need to do when things get out of control.
You will be able to tune in and out of energy when you want to.
You will never become void of all the emotions that you used to feel; when
you are normalized, you will only feel the emotions and energy that you
want to feel. You will no longer pick up energy from other people or feel an
immediate negative reaction to the energies that you are exposed to. Once
upon a time, you might have lost your temper or become exhausted and
drained because of negative energy. You may have avoided crowds, public
places, certain people, dinner parties, family gatherings and house warming
parties because you knew that you would leave feeling drained,
overwhelmed and exhausted, which could last for several days. During that
time, you were perplexed as to where these feelings were coming from,
leading you to feel frustrated and irritated as a result.
Now that you have become accustomed to life as an empath, you no longer
experience these negative feelings. You can walk into a room full of
unfamiliar or familiar people and feel energized and empowered. You no
longer absorb the emotions and energies from other people; you are still
capable of reading their emotions but they no longer have the power to hold
you hostage. You know how to ground yourself and deflect the feelings,
energy and emotions that are not beneficial to you.

Maintain Your Gift

Maintaining and mastering your gift are two completely different processes.
When you have mastered your gift, you find it easy to live in harmony with
it and as discussed above, you have normalized it. However, don’t get
comfortable once you have reached the normalization stage because now
you need to maintain your gift to ensure that you don’t regress to the
beginning stages of learning that you were an empath. There are several
things that you will need to do to maintain your gift. This process will
enable you to live in perfect harmony with your gift.

Regular Check In
To maintain your gift, it is important that you check in on a regular basis.
You should do this a minimum of once a day, but you should really aim for
twice a day. The best times to do so are first thing in the morning and before
you go to bed. This will enable you to reflect on the things that have had the
most effect on you throughout the day. In the morning, you are capable of
recognizing residual experiences that you have been unconsciously holding
onto. Much of what attaches itself to our minds often comes to life in our
dreams; you can then let these feelings go and get on with your day in peace
and harmony.
It is a good time to check in before going to bed because the experiences
that you have had throughout the day will be fresh in your mind. You will
be able to detect how these experiences have affected you and release them
so that you can have a peaceful and restful sleep.

Daily Meditation
The best time to meditate is as soon as you wake up in the morning and just
before you are going to bed at night. However, make sure that you don’t
make a habit of meditating until you fall asleep because this can have a
negative effect on your meditation practices. It can leave an imprint on your
unconscious mind causing you to associate meditation with sleeping, which
will lead you to fall asleep during your meditation times in the morning and
throughout the day. Meditating gives you the opportunity to rest with your
energy. You don’t have to feel as if you are in control; there is no stress and
you can enjoy your energy at that moment.

Deep Breathing
It is important that you relax often, but at the same time, you should make
sure that your breathing follows a certain pattern. Deep breathing allows
you to relax completely by achieving a state of rest within your body. A
good breathing exercise that you can try is to breath in for 4 seconds, hold
your breath for 6 seconds and then breathe out for 8 seconds. This will help
you eliminate any excess air from your body. At the same time as taking
deep breaths, you can imagine any negative energy or stress leaving your
body with the air.
Deep breathing is an excellent way of centering yourself and quickly
gaining harmony within. If you ever find yourself struggling with your
grounding exercise, begin to intentionally center your breathing. This will
help you gain complete control over emotions and come back to your power
center. It is advised that you practice breathing deeply daily and anytime
that you find yourself in a distressing situation.
Intentional Grounding
An important part of normalizing your abilities as an empath is that you
ground and shield yourself on a regular basis. The process of grounding
allows you to regularly eliminate unwanted energy and intentionally come
back to your center.
You should never leave maintaining your energy on autopilot because you
will fall out of alignment very quickly and become unbalanced. Even when
you have managed to master your abilities as an empath, you will still find
that you get into situations where you are absorbing energy from other
people.
Chapter 9: How to Support a Young
Empath
You now know how to take care of yourself as an empath, and how to best
use your gift. However, if you have a young empath in your life, it’s
important that you also understand how to support them. Children with this
ability often face significant challenges, but your support can make all the
difference as they come to terms with the fact that they are different from
their peers.

Being an empathic child is tough, but young empaths have so much to offer
our world, and they should be appreciated! Psychologist and empathy
expert Dr. Michele Borba believes teenagers today are running low on
empathy. In fact, they are only half as empathic as those of previous
generations. It’s clear that young empaths have a lot to teach their peers.

How To Spot A Young Empath

Empathic gifts are present from birth, and young empaths have the same
abilities and needs as empathic adults. However, because children have less
experience in understanding and expressing their own emotions, their
empathic nature may manifest in a different way.
Empathic children usually prefer to play alone or in the company of just one
or two good friends. In general, they gain more enjoyment from talking and
playing with older children and adults than those their own age. It isn’t that
they believe themselves to be superior to their classmates. Rather, a young
empath’s unusual maturity means that they are on the same wavelength as
those older than themselves. They may report feeling distant or alienated
from people their own age.
An empathic child may surprise you with their uncanny ability to hone in
on what others are thinking and feeling. For example, you may be feeling
stressed about an incident at work while cooking dinner for the family one
evening. Your empath child might walk past the kitchen door and
immediately discern that you are upset about something that has happened
during the day. They may well give you a hug and ask you to tell them
exactly what or who has made you sad.
It is important that you strike a balance between honoring their gift and
overloading them with inappropriate information. If you are upset or angry,
denying it will teach your child that their intuition cannot be trusted, which
will instill self-doubt and confusion.
On the other hand, there is no need to share too many details, as this could
cause them unnecessary distress. For example, a young child does not need
to know absolutely everything about a serious illness or assault. A simple
acknowledgment of the situation and the feelings that go with it will be
sufficient in most cases. Do not lie to your child and keep discussions age-
appropriate.

Uncover The Real Reasons Behind Temper

Tantrums
Think carefully before chastising a young empath for bad behavior. Yes,
they might be disobeying you simply because they are a naughty child, but
they could also be acting out in response to overwhelming stimuli in their
environment.
Consider the situation from a toddler’s perspective. As an empathic adult,
you can usually make your excuses and leave if you find yourself
bombarded by too much noise or light. Unfortunately, a young child has
less autonomy and often has no choice but to endure it. In a bid to protect
themselves, they may either freeze up – which is why empathic children are
often labeled “shy” – or they can attempt to regain control over the situation
by causing their own noise and disturbance!
If you suspect that your child is an empath, do not be surprised if they
suddenly act out from time to time. If they are having meltdowns or
tantrums on a regular basis, it’s time to dig a little deeper. Think like a
detective. Are there any triggers that reliably predict “bad” behavior? Take
your child’s complaints seriously – if they tell you that they don’t like
strong light or smells, believe them!
Let anyone else who cares for your child know that they are an empath or, if
this concept is alien to the person in question, that your child is unusually
sensitive and requires a few minor adjustments. For example, if they attend
a daycare center, you should let the staff know that they are liable to
become overwhelmed during high-energy games and might require some
time out to calm themselves down.
Under no circumstances should you shout at a young empath, use harsh
punishments, or resort to abusive tactics such as name-calling. These
approaches are destructive anyway, but when the child in question is an
empath they are likely to cause long-lasting damage. If you lose your
temper, apologize immediately. Take full responsibility for your own
conduct.

Create Soothing Environments

Make sure that an empathic child has a safe space they can call their own,
and allow them to retreat when they need some alone time in which to relax
and recharge their batteries. If they need to spend ten or twenty minutes in
their room then let them, even if you have family or friends over.
Empathic children may require more time to wind down and get ready for
sleep at the end of a busy day. Their nervous systems are more easily
stimulated than those of typical children, and just telling them to get into
bed and close their eyes is unlikely to result in a good night’s rest!
It’s a good idea to schedule a bedtime routine to help them relax. For
example, you could prepare them a bath with calming essential oils, tell
them a familiar bedtime story, and encourage them to reflect on the best
things that happened that day.

Help Them Prepare For The Harsher Realities Of

Life
Caring for an empathic child can be heartbreaking at times because their
gentle, kind hearts are easily bruised when they realize how much suffering
exists in the world. They are also more susceptible to hurt feelings if and
when an argument breaks out in their social circle. An empathic child might
struggle to understand why other children seem to hurt one another because
they could never behave in such a cruel manner.
It’s natural and normal, as a parent or caregiver, to try to shield a child from
pain. Unfortunately, although it may work in the short term, you will be
doing them a disservice in the long run. An empath who is not taught how
to work with their gift and handle their emotions early in life is at risk for
depression, anxiety, and confusion later on when they come up against the
harsh realities of the world.
You cannot solve the world’s problems, but you can keep the lines of
communication open with your child. When they pick up on signs of
tension and emotional turmoil, whether it’s at home or school, give them
the chance to talk about it. Encourage them to express themselves fully –
feelings are there to be felt, after all. It’s far healthier to teach them coping
strategies early on. This empowers them because they know that they can
handle almost anything life throws their way.

Give Them Practical Techniques They Can Use

So how can you equip a young empath with the tools they need to thrive in
a harsh world?
First, teach them how to meditate, and the importance of taking at least a
few minutes each day to ground themselves. Children are more receptive to
new ideas than adults, and you probably won’t have to spend much time
and energy persuading them to try it out. Why not schedule joint meditation
time each day? This will not only help them develop a positive habit that
will last a lifetime, but it will also deepen your bond.
Second, help them learn to verbalize their emotions, to give them a name,
and understand how others’ feelings exert a direct effect on their moods.
Emphasize that it’s important to choose healthy friends who are usually
happy and to spend time with people who leave them feeling energized
instead of down.
Unfortunately, empaths of all ages are favorite targets for energy vampires
and abusers of all kinds. Teach your young empath how to build boundaries,
to set their own standards for relationships, and to walk away from people
who wish them harm. Make a point of telling them that they can always
come to you if they want or need advice on how to handle a toxic friend or
bully. Practice saying “No,” and use role play to rehearse how your child
can extricate themselves from difficult situations.
Model the kind of behavior you want to see in your child. Do not deny your
own feelings, make time for yourself when you get overwhelmed, and draw
firm boundaries when others try to take advantage of you. Children are keen
observers, and they look to their parents and caregivers for guidance.
If you are living in a home where two or more people frequently get into
fights, take steps to address the problem. Young empaths pick up on tension
in their living environment, and this can result in serious psychological and
physical illness. Family counseling may be necessary in some situations.

Teenage Empaths
The teen years are challenging for almost everyone, and they pose special
challenges for empaths. It is natural and normal for teens to seek acceptance
from their peers, to break away from their families, and create their own
identities. It is normal to experience heightened, turbulent emotions during
this period. However, normal teenage problems can spiral into long-lasting
psychological turmoil for an unsupported young empath.
Peer pressure is a real problem for teenagers. In their desire to gain their
peers’ approval, they may agree to take part in risky activities such as
drinking, smoking, underage sex, and reckless driving. Fear of peer
rejection can drive even mature empaths to put themselves in danger. For
their own protection, they must understand the importance of strong
boundaries and saying “No.” If they haven’t developed this ability by the
time they enter adolescence, don’t worry. It’s never too late to learn.
Depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems often surface for the
first time in adolescence. This means that young empaths may have to deal
not only with their own mental health problems but also those of their
friends. As naturally caring individuals, they will feel inclined to offer a
listening ear or shoulder to cry on. This is an admirable response, but the
young empath can soon feel overwhelmed by the sheer strength of a
friend’s emotions.
A transparent, nonjudgmental approach is best. Educate your teen about the
difference between normal teenage emotions and adolescent mental health
problems. Teach them how to spot signs of mental illness in themselves and
others, and tell them where and how to get help. Bear in mind that they
might not feel comfortable talking to you, so tell them that you will not be
offended if they choose to seek guidance elsewhere.
If they are supporting a friend, praise their kindness but, at the same time,
emphasize the importance of setting personal boundaries. If their friend is
draining their own emotional reservoirs, it’s time to point them in the
direction of professional help. Reassure your teen that they cannot be
expected to “save” their friend and, sometimes, calling on the services of a
qualified adult is the best step to take.
In summary, the early years of an empath’s life are key to their wellbeing as
adults. Young empaths quickly realize that they hold special abilities. If
they are not supported by the adults around them, an empath can feel lonely
or even alienated from others. Fortunately, with gentle guidance and
nurturing, they will come to appreciate and enjoy their amazing gift.
Conclusion
There is much more to being an empath than what you have read in this
book. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Your journey has just begun, and
you will continue to grow in your gift, meet others, and read more to
enhance your knowledge. When you are unable to control your gift, it can
often feel like a curse; after all, who wants to feel continuously drained,
unwell, and exhausted? It can be difficult for you to manage at first, but as
you learn to embrace and have power over your gift, you will eventually
learn how to use it to leverage and enhance your life. You may even decide
to use your gift to better the lives of others. Many empaths use their gifts as
a career and others prefer to be more secretive about it. Whatever you
choose to do is up to you, and there is no right or wrong way to use your
gift. The most important thing is that you understand that you are not crazy,
there is nothing wrong with you and that you can live a happy and healthy
life.
It is important that you don’t get offended by people who don’t understand
your gift because it really isn’t their fault. Unless the person is an empath,
they will find it difficult to comprehend. People will judge you and accuse
you of being over-emotional and sensitive, which isn’t wrong, but when it is
said in a demeaning way, it can be hurtful. It is essential that you learn to
protect yourself against the unwanted energy from these comments.
I hope that you now have a better understanding of your gift and that you
embrace every part of it so that your life is enriched day by day.
I wish you all the best on your journey!
Thanks for reading!
I really hope you enjoyed this book, and most of all – got more value from
it than you had to give.
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Kindest regards,
 Also by
Judy Dyer

Grasp a better understanding of your gift and how you can embrace every
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Essential Oil Recipes for Anxiety
Quick and Easy Lavender Neck Rub
Ingredients

3 drops of pure lavender

1 teaspoon of fractioned almond or coconut oil
Directions

1. Combine the lavender oil, almond and coconut oil in the palm of
your hands and rub directly onto your neck. You can also rub the
mixture onto the soles of your feet; this is particularly effective
before bedtime.
Men’s Cologne
Ingredients

5 drops of cedarwood essential oil

3 drops of bergamot essential oil
2 drops of sandalwood essential oil
8 ounces of 70 percent alcohol
Glass cologne tube or glass roll on tube
Directions

1. Combine all the ingredients in the cologne tube or glass roll, shake
together thoroughly and use whenever required.
Frankincense and Myrrh Lotion
This homemade body lotion made from a mixture of frankincense and
myrrh is a fantastic recipe. Not only does it alleviate anxiety symptoms but
it also hydrates the skin with essential nutrients and vitamins.
Ingredients

¼ cup of olive oil

¼ cup of coconut oil
¼ cup of beeswax
¼ cup of shea butter
2 tablespoons of vitamin E
20 drops of frankincense essential oil
20 drops of myrrh essential oil
Plastic lotion dispenser bottles
Directions

1. Combine shea butter, beeswax, coconut oil and olive oil in a bowl.
2. Add some water to a large saucepan and heat over a medium
temperature until the water starts to boil. Place the bowl into the
saucepan and heat the ingredients at the same time as stirring the
mixture.
3. Remove the bowl from the stove and place it in the fridge for an
hour until it becomes solid.
4. Remove the mixture from the fridge and use an electric hand mixer
to whisk the ingredients until fluffy. Combine the vitamin E and the
essential oils and continue to mix.
5. Add to the plastic lotion dispenser bottles and store in a cool place.
Lavender Soap Homemade Bar
This homemade bar of lavender soap not only provides relief from anxiety
but is also extremely beneficial for the skin. It’s simple to make, free from
chemicals and easy on the pocket.
Ingredients

20-30 drops of lavender essential oil

Soap base
3 drops of vitamin E
Decorative soap mold or oval bar molds
Directions

1. Add water to a large pan and heat it over a medium temperature

until it starts to boil.
2. Add the soap base to a glass bowl and then place the bowl in the
saucepan until the base has melted.
3. Take the bowl out of the saucepan and allow it to cool down. Add
the vitamin E and the lavender and stir together thoroughly.
4. Transfer the mixture into a soap mold and allow it to cool down and
become completely solid before removing it from the soap mold.
Store the soap at room temperature.
Contents
Introduction
Your Free Gift
Chapter 1: What is an HSP, Anyway?
Chapter 2: Dealing with Emotional Overwhelm & Building Your Emotional
Intelligence
Chapter 3: How To Say “No” Without Hurting Others
Chapter 4: How To Avoid Falling In Love Too Quickly, Filter Out
Unhealthy Partners, and Enjoy a Great Relationship
Chapter 5: How to Eliminate Negative Energy
Chapter 6: Dealing with Depression As an HSP
Chapter 7: Dealing with Anxiety as an HSP
Conclusion
Introduction
Welcome! Thank you for downloading this guide to overcoming the most
common problems faced by Highly Sensitive Persons, or HSPs. You might
be a little confused by the term “highly sensitive.” In some places, being
called “sensitive” is an insult, and you may be wondering whether it’s a
curse to be born an HSP. There’s no denying that HSPs do face some big
challenges—they are so much more sensitive than the world around them,
after all! But, with the right guidance, you can make peace with your gift.
If you have always wondered why you seem somewhat different from those
around you, learning about high sensitivity can come as a big relief. You
aren’t a freak, and you aren’t deficient in any way. In fact, as you read
through this book and learn more about HSPs, you’ll come to realize how
lucky you are to have been born with this gift! There are many people who
would love to possess your empathy, appreciation of the fine arts, and
capacity to ponder life’s big questions .
It’s well worth taking the time to understand your sensitive nature. Only
then will you be able to lead a lifestyle that perfectly suits your needs. This
book will help you take your first steps in coming to terms with your
special trait.
Your Free Gift
Are you weighed down by resentment, anger, or even a desire for revenge
against people who have upset you?
If you want to make positive changes to your life and improve your
relationships but are held back by past hurts and grievances, download my
FREE Guide To Forgiveness For HSPs . It contains a straightforward, step-
by-step guide to forgiveness that will help you release negative energy and
resentment.

>> Tap Here for your HSP Guide to Forgiveness <<

Also by Judy Dyer
The Empowered Empath: A Simple Guide on Setting Boundaries,
Controlling Your Emotions, and Making Life Easier
Chapter 1: What is an HSP, Anyway?
Have you always been told that you are too sensitive for your own good,
that you need to “toughen up,” or that you cry too easily? If you’re a deep
thinker who often feels as though you don’t quite fit in, there’s a good
chance you might be an HSP.
This kind of sensitivity is more common than you might think. Dr. Elaine
Aron, famous for her research with HSPs, states that approximately 20% of
the population is highly sensitive.

Signs of the Highly Sensitive Person – A

Helpful List
How many of the following describe you?
1. A tendency to feel particularly overwhelmed in noisy environments.
2. A preference for smaller gatherings of people rather than large crowds.
3. A good track record of picking up on other people’s moods and motives.
4. An ability to notice little changes in the environment.
5. A tendency to be easily moved by music, books, films, and other media.
6. Heightened sensitivity to hunger, pain, medication, and caffeine.
7. A need to recharge and relax alone on a regular basis.
8. An appreciation of good manners and politeness.
9. Difficulty in refusing others’ requests for fear of hurting their feelings.
10. Difficulty in forgiving yourself for even the smallest mistakes.
11. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome.
12. Trouble handling conflict and criticism .
You don’t have to answer “Yes!” to every item on this list to qualify as an
HSP. Trust your intuition. If this list resonates with you, there’s a good
chance that you have a highly sensitive personality.

D.O.E.S. – A Useful Way to Think about High

Sensitivity
The D.O.E.S. model is a helpful acronym that explains the HSP profile.
Depth of processing: HSPs have brains that work a little differently from
the norm. They process incoming information—sights, sounds, smells, and
so on—in a more thorough way. An HSPs mirror neurons—the cells in the
brain that help us empathize with others—are more active than average.
This explains why HSPs are especially sensitive to other people’s moods
and feelings and why they are readily overwhelmed in noisy places.
Overstimulation: Overstimulation is inevitable when you have a
particularly sensitive brain! An HSP takes longer than the average person to
process stimuli, so they soon become overwhelmed and drained in busy or
crowded environments. This also accounts for their heightened sensitivity
to pain and hunger.
Emotional reactivity: Emotional reactivity is probably what gets HSPs
into trouble most often. As they are always “tuned in” to their environment,
they cannot help but react strongly to both positive and negative situations.
Unfortunately, their negative emotions can become all-consuming if not
properly managed. Being so empathetic, they are also prone to picking up
on other people’s bad moods.
Sensing the subtle: HSPs do not have superhuman powers—they see and
hear just about as well as anyone else. However, they do have a special
ability to pick up on tiny details in the environment that other people
usually miss. For example, if you are an HSP, you may find that you are the
first to notice when a vase of flowers has been moved to a different place in
a room.
This attention to detail also applies in social settings. An HSP can easily
identify deception and ulterior motives in a friend or partner. Even when
someone tries to conceal their true nature, an HSP will usually be able to
see through the act!
High sensitivity isn’t a disorder or an illness. It’s just a natural variation that
occurs in a minority of the human population. An HSP is born possessing
this trait, which cannot be learned or unlearned. Men are just as likely to be
highly sensitive as women, so don’t assume that you can’t be an HSP if you
are a man.

HSP Myths
High sensitivity isn’t well understood. Here are just a few of the most
common myths debunked.
HSPs are empaths. All empaths are HSPs, but not all HSPs are empaths.
You can think of an empath as an individual who meets all the criteria for
high sensitivity yet has an additional set of abilities. An empath literally
feels other people’s emotions, whereas HSPs merely sense them. Empaths
are also more vulnerable to negative energy and are more likely to report
meaningful spiritual and intuitive experiences.
HSPs are all introverts. Whilst the majority of HSPs are introverts, almost
one-third (30%) are actually extroverts! Don’t dismiss the possibility that
you are an HSP just because spending time with other people leaves you
feeling energized rather than drained. In fact, HSPs can develop a wide
circle of friends because they are so empathetic and intellectually
stimulating.
HSPs are just shy. HSPs often like to take their time when processing
social situations, especially if they are in a noisy environment. To an
outsider, their measured approach might suggest that they are shy. This isn’t
the case. It’s more likely that a quiet HSP is just taking a moment or two to
reflect on what is happening around them. They might appear slower to
speak than others, but this is because they believe in the power of words
and therefore prefer to think about what they want to say before opening
their mouths.
HSPs all have anxiety disorders and/or depression. This simply isn’t
true. High sensitivity describes a way of thinking and relating to the world,
whereas anxiety disorders and depression are mental illnesses. However, it
is true that HSPs can become anxious and depressed if they don’t
understand their own needs. They can also experience great suffering if
those around them cannot, or will not, understand them. Later in this book,
you’ll learn how to keep yourself healthy and happy.
HSPs all have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). People with ASD
sometimes have problems processing sensory information, and they can
become overloaded as a result. In some cases, those with ASD can
experience “meltdowns” triggered by excessive sensory input. It’s easy to
see why people conflate “highly sensitive” and “autistic.”
However, there is a fundamental difference between being an HSP and
having an ASD. An ASD is a developmental disorder, not a trait or
personality type. To be diagnosed with ASD, an individual must show
“persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across
multiple contexts.” HSPs do not have problems communicating with other
people, and the majority are skilled at social interaction.
HSPs have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), or
Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), and that’s why they are so reactive
to stimuli. This is simply untrue. ADHD and ADD are psychiatric disorders
that usually require treatment, whereas high sensitivity is a natural variation
that occurs in one-fifth of the population.
This confusion arises because there are some points of similarity between
HSPs and those with ADHD/ADD. Both groups tend to be perfectionists,
they both have a well-developed sense of intuition, they both enjoy
daydreaming, and they both like to help other people. They also share an
appreciation for the arts, frequently feel the need to express themselves
creatively, and believe in standing up for the oppressed. As an HSP, you
may find that you naturally gravitate towards people with ADD or ADHD.
However, there are a few signs that separate an HSP from someone with
ADHD. For the most part, HSPs have the ability to concentrate for
prolonged periods of time, which is usually a difficult task for those with
ADHD. HSPs are usually better at following the thread of a conversation.
However, an overstimulated HSP soon feels overwhelmed, and they might
find it hard to complete a task.
To complicate matters further, it’s possible to be highly sensitive and be
diagnosed with ADHD or ADD at the same time! However, as a general
rule, you are likely to be one or the other. Reading this book will help you
gain clarity on this point. If you are still unsure, consider consulting a
medical professional to gain a definitive diagnosis.
HSPs are rare. Twenty percent of the population are HSPs. You could
argue that this makes them relatively unusual, but it’s hardly a “rare” trait.
To put it into perspective, at least one child in every classroom is an HSP,
and there might be a few dozen working in a large company! Assuming you
know at least five people besides yourself, there’s a good chance you know
another HSP .
HSPs are more gifted, intelligent, or creative than the average person.
This may or may not be true—we don’t have enough information yet to
know either way! Dr. Elaine Aron, highly-regarded sensitivity expert, takes
the view that HSPs and non-HSPs are probably equally as intelligent and
creative.
It’s obvious when someone is highly sensitive. If you are an HSP, you
have probably chosen to hide your trait from time to time. Most highly
sensitive people have taught themselves to conceal their true nature for fear
of being judged. For example, if your parents made you feel bad just
because you happened to have a sensitive nature, it’s almost inevitable that
you would get into the habit of pretending to be “normal.” As an HSP, you
have been blessed with a strong sense of intuition, but don’t beat yourself
up if another HSP slips past you—over time, sensitive people can become
highly accomplished at putting up a façade.
HSPs can be “normal” if they want to change. It’s true that an HSP can
act “normal,” but this doesn’t mean that they can turn their sensitivity on
and off at will. They certainly don’t choose to be more sensitive than the
rest of the world.
All HSPs prefer a quiet, boring life with little stimulation. Most HSPs
value the opportunity to retreat from the hustle and bustle of the world to
relax and recharge, particularly if they’ve had to spend a lot of time in a
busy environment. However, this definitely does not mean that they want to
stay at home all the time! HSPs tend to be curious about the world around
them, so they will happily go out and explore it. Not only that, but
extroverted HSPs can thrive in social situations that entail talking to lots of
people.
HSPs are weak. Sensitive doesn’t mean “weak” or “frail.” To survive as an
HSP in a world that doesn’t understand sensitivity requires strength and
determination—in fact, you can’t afford to be weak if you’re an HSP!
HSPs don’t have successful careers. It’s true that HSPs have different
requirements when it comes to the workplace. For example, as an HSP, you
probably dislike jobs that require you to work in chaotic environments for
hours at a time. However, as long as you understand and accommodate your
own needs, there is no reason you can’t enjoy a great career.
The key to having a successful career is noticing your strengths and making
the most of them. For instance, as a diplomatic person who is reluctant to
hurt anyone’s feelings, you are in a great position to put forward
constructive criticism and potentially controversial new ideas without
causing undue offense. This will gain you respect at work.
There’s a lot of information to take in when learning about high sensitivity.
Fortunately, you don’t have to remember all the finer details. Just bear in
mind that, as an HSP, you can’t help but process the world in a deeper,
arguably more meaningful way than the majority of the population.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to manage your feelings if you don’t have the tools
to do so! Just because you feel emotions intensely doesn’t mean you know
how to deal with them. In the next chapter, we’ll look at how you can
develop your emotional intelligence and why these skills can make your life
as an HSP much easier.
Chapter 2: Dealing with Emotional
Overwhelm & Building Your Emotional
Intelligence
You’re probably familiar with the concept of IQ—a measure of general
intelligence—but have you ever thought about your emotional intelligence
(EQ)? In order to understand your personality, skills, and needs, it’s
important that you understand these concepts in detail.
Those with a high IQ are typically good at working with abstract
information, spotting patterns, and generally making sense of information.
They tend to perform well at school and are thought of as “smart” and
“intelligent.”
But what does it mean to be emotionally intelligent? In brief, someone with
a high EQ is skilled in recognizing and working with their own emotions
and those of other people. For example, they are able to identify when they
feel sad and then work out what they can do to feel better. A high EQ is also
associated with strong relationships and connections to the broader
community.
We can break emotional intelligence into three main components .
Emotional awareness: The ability to hone in on how you feel, understand
why you are feeling a particular way, and give each feeling a label.
Emotionally intelligent people are not afraid of any emotion. They know
that feelings are a natural, normal part of the human experience.
Handling emotions: The ability to process your feelings and those of
others in a constructive manner. For instance, someone with a high EQ is
able to calm themselves down in a high-pressure situation. They are also
able to soothe others when they are hurt and cheer them up when necessary.
Harnessing emotions: The ability to channel your emotions in a useful
way, for example in solving problems or expressing yourself creatively. For
example, an artist who draws on their personal experiences in creating
sculptures is demonstrating their emotional intelligence.
Another way of looking at EQ is to think of it as a collection of skills: self-
awareness, social awareness, relationship management, and self-
management. The stronger your skills in these areas, the higher your EQ.

What does all this have to do with HSPs?

You may be highly sensitive, but this doesn’t mean that you know how to
handle your feelings. HSPs are often good at self-awareness and social
awareness, but not so good at self and relationship management. This
means that they can become emotionally overwhelmed, which can take a
toll on their mental and physical health. As an HSP, you will always be
susceptible to emotional overwhelm, but developing your EQ can help you
maintain healthy emotional equilibrium.
For example, let’s say that you are having a busy day at work. As an HSP,
you realize that you feel stressed, and you also know that your colleagues
feel pressured. Your emotional awareness allows you to pick up on this
quickly. Great, but what should you actually do about it?
This is where many HSPs tend to get stuck. They can detect what’s going
on in themselves and others, but they are clueless when it comes to
managing these feelings in a healthy way. An HSP who allows themselves
to be carried away on a tide of their own emotions or gets bogged down in
other people’s feelings will soon become miserable.
The good news is that you can learn to develop your EQ and learn skills to
improve your self-management and relationships. In the short term,
repressing your emotions might lead to temporary relief but you cannot
keep them locked away forever. Unless you learn how to face up to them,
they will linger in your body and mind as stress, tension, and illness.

Self-management
Here are a few tips to help you learn how to process your feelings when it
feels as though they may consume you.
Ground Yourself in the Moment
Over-analyzing your surroundings and emotions is a recipe for emotional
overwhelm. Learning a few basic grounding techniques can keep your
stress levels from spiraling out of control. For instance, naming five things
you can hear, see, smell, and touch can have a grounding effect.
Some people like to carry a small object or charm in a pocket or purse and
hold it in their hand whenever they feel overwhelmed. For instance, you
could buy a keyring that carries a positive association for you and squeeze it
during stressful times. This can work well but take care not to become too
reliant on any one object—if it gets lost, you’ll become very stressed! One
solution is to buy a packet of small stress balls and put them in your coat
pocket, desk drawer, and so on. That way, you will always have one close
by, and you won’t become too attached to a single item.
You cannot just will your emotions away. Human beings cannot help but
react to experiences, whether internal or external. If you tell yourself to
“just get over it” or “stop thinking about it,” you will only feel worse.
Remember that you can’t control your reactions, but you can choose how to
process your feelings.
The next time you are overwhelmed by emotions, try this exercise as
recommended by therapist Dr. Andrea Brandt.
1. Breathe slowly and deeply, in through your nose and then out through
your mouth.
2. Cross your arms and hold each of your forearms with the opposite hand.
Squeeze. This sensation will help you remain grounded in your body rather
than getting caught up in your thoughts and feelings.
3. Recite a mantra or quote that you personally find to have a calming
effect, such as “This too shall pass.” “No feeling is forever.”
4. Remind yourself that no feeling is “bad.” It’s OK to be angry, sad, and
stressed. The problem only comes when you can’t manage your feelings
properly and do or say harmful things to yourself or others.
Focus on the positive sides of change
Do you feel overwhelmed by change? You aren’t the only one—both HSPs
and non-HSPs can find it tough to accept! The trick is to make a habit of
identifying the positives in the situation, rather than allowing yourself to
dwell on what could go wrong .
The next time you catch yourself panicking about a change, take two
minutes to write down any positives you can think of. For instance, if you
have to look for a new job because of the risk of redundancy, remind
yourself that a new role might offer you a new intellectual challenge. You
may be planning to move and feeling stressed as a result. It might help to
write down what you like most about your new home and neighborhood.
Of course, not all change comes with positives. If you have recently lost a
loved one or are facing bankruptcy, even the most optimistic of individuals
would agree that it’s hard to find a silver lining. As a general rule, try to
take a balanced view of a situation. Unless you are staring utter disaster in
the face, there’s usually at least one or two blessings or lessons you can take
from your personal challenges.
Experiment with new ways of expressing and harnessing
your emotions
Don’t allow your emotions to fester. Once you have identified what you are
feeling (as an HSP, you are probably good at labeling your emotions), you
may need to vent it in some way. Experiment to find what works for you.
For instance, some people find journaling therapeutic, while others channel
their feelings through sports, art, singing, or even just punching a cushion or
pillow really hard! As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or someone else,
do whatever necessary to make yourself feel better.
Feelings are not, in and of themselves, “bad” or something to be feared.
They can be a constructive force for change, especially when you harness
them in a healthy manner. If you are going through a particularly turbulent
time, think of ways you could use the power generated by your emotions to
make a positive change. For example, if you have recently escaped an
abusive relationship and feel angry and sad on behalf of others in similar
situations, you could consider taking on a volunteer role at a local
organization serving victims of domestic violence.
Use The Healing Power Of Crystals
Carrying a grounding crystal (such as rose quartz or black tourmaline) in
your pocket can help absorb negative energy and reduce your stress levels.
They are also excellent meditation aids – hold your favorite stone as you
meditate to enjoy greater relaxation. We’ll take a closer look at crystals and
their special powers later in the book.

Manage Stress Before It Takes Hold

Emotional overwhelm can occur in response to a specific trigger, but
sometimes it seems to have no particular cause. This can be frightening
because it feels as though you have no control over your own mind. If you
start experiencing emotional overwhelm and don’t understand why, take a
look at your general stress levels. Background stress can lead to seemingly
random emotional outbursts that may come and go without warning.
The solution is to take preventative measures that reduce stress levels and
keep your emotions on an even keel. HSPs often respond well to regular
meditation practices. You don’t need to set aside hours each day—just ten
minutes of meditation will offer significant benefits.
To get started with meditation, turn off your phone and any other sources of
noise and seat yourself in a comfortable chair or on the floor. Close your
eyes and take a few deep breaths. Your goal isn’t to empty your mind of all
thoughts—doing so is virtually impossible. The purpose of meditation is to
help you separate yourself from the mental debris and junk we all have
whirling through our heads. It trains you to become a detached observer and
teaches you that the majority of thoughts are transient and meaningless.
Focus on your breathing. When your mind drifts, as it inevitably will, do
not resist it. Remember, you are acting as an observer. See your thoughts
and feelings as clouds or balloons. Let them pass you by. With practice,
your thoughts will seem less threatening, which will benefit your everyday
life. You’ll start to realize that even strong emotions do not last forever.

Relationship management
HSPs often love to form meaningful connections with others, and they
typically have a good idea of what those around them are thinking.
However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationships will run
smoothly! From time to time, your sensitive nature can make things
challenging.
Try not to take criticism personally
Most HSPs are perfectionists and struggle to take criticism. This presents a
dilemma! On one hand, you want to learn from your mistakes and know
that you can benefit from other people’s advice. You know that receiving
criticism can be helpful. At the same time, you can’t help but feel
personally attacked when someone suggests that you should be doing
something different.
The simplest yet most effective way to deal with criticism is to separate
yourself from your work. When someone gives you feedback, remember
they are referring to your work, not you as a person. For example, if your
boss tells you that you need to rewrite a section of a report, this doesn’t
mean that you are a failure who can never be trusted to produce good work.
Unless you have good reason to suspect otherwise, assume the other person
is evaluating only what you have done, not who you are.
It may seem scary, but receiving feedback and constructive criticism gets
easier with practice. Actively seeking out criticism is probably the last thing
you want to do, but you’ll be surprised how soon you can learn to take other
people’s advice. If you receive negative feedback, turn it into a list of
actionable bullet points. This will give you a sense of control.
For example, if your boss tells you that a report you’ve written is too long-
winded and contains too many statistics, simply writing “Cut sentence
length, take out at least a third of the numbers, and use less jargon” gives
you a starting point when making revisions.
Another useful tip is to record any positive feedback you receive. You
might have noticed that you have the habit of remembering only the
negative things people say. Perhaps you discount compliments altogether
and worry that your ego will get too big if you believe the nice things your
family and friends tell you. Rest assured that this isn’t the case. If someone
gives you praise, trust that it’s for a good reason.
Learn how to handle conflict in a constructive way
Are you conflict-averse? Many HSPs hate the thought of arguing with
someone else. Conflict makes the average HSP feel overwhelmed, and the
aftereffects can last for days. Fortunately, reframing conflict and learning a
few tricks that nurture your relationships can help you navigate it with
grace.
For a start, remember that when someone is angry with you, they are angry
because their perceptions have led them to feel a certain way, and their
image of you isn’t necessarily accurate. Keep this in mind and conflict will
start to feel less personal. You can never control someone else’s
perceptions, but you do have the power to choose what you do and say.
The key to handling any argument is to first understand how the other
person developed their opinion or arrived at a particular conclusion, then
gently explain why you believe (or know) that this perspective is incorrect.
This requires a lot of diplomacy, but luckily for you, HSPs tend to be
naturally skilled in this area! Don’t attempt to impose your opinion or will
at any cost. Tell yourself that you’ll get the best results when you try to
really understand someone else’s point of view instead of trying to “win.”
Remind yourself that conflict may be unpleasant, but it will help you
develop strong communication skills that will serve you well in the future.
For instance, having an argument with your partner is no fun, but it may
help you at a later date when you need to stand up to a controlling boss.
Handling conflicts can also boost your self-esteem—a reminder that you are
capable of leaving your comfort zone.
Conflict with those closest to you can be painful, but sometimes it is
necessary if the relationship is to move forward. For instance, if your best
friend tells you some unpleasant home truths about your friendship during
an argument, this may hurt; but it gives the two of you an opportunity to
clear the air. Remember that if someone raises their worries directly, it
means they probably care a great deal about your relationship.
Finally, you can always ask for some time out from an argument. There is
no law that says everyone must resolve their differences in a single
conversation! If you need a few minutes to compose yourself or to come to
terms with everything that has been said, excuse yourself for a little while.
However, don’t just leave the room with no explanation, as this will appear
dismissive and aggressive.
Draw up firm boundaries
Everyone, highly sensitive or not, needs to draw up and maintain healthy
boundaries in their relationships. Boundaries let other people know what
you will and will not accept from them. For example, in a healthy
relationship, both people have boundaries they erect to keep them safe from
abuse. Specifically, they will both make it clear that they will not tolerate
any form of mistreatment, and anyone who breaks this rule will face
consequences.
Whatever your boundaries may be, you need to enforce them. For instance,
you might have set a boundary regarding text messages and the time of day
at which you will and won’t reply. Your rule might be, “I don’t read or
respond to messages after dinner, which is around 8 p.m.” In deciding this
rule, you are setting a boundary—others cannot expect you to read or reply
to their messages late in the evening. This kind of boundary keeps you from
getting too involved in other people’s drama or problems, thereby
safeguarding your own emotional wellbeing.
Even if you are clear about your boundaries, there will still be those who
might try to violate them. To continue with the above example, one or two
of your friends might still expect a reply and be offended when you stick to
your boundaries. The good news is that if you are consistent and assertive
(whilst remaining polite), others will usually come to respect you for
standing up for your own needs.
In order to set firm, healthy boundaries, you need to learn how to say “no.”
In the next chapter, you’ll discover how to do precisely that.
Chapter 3: How To Say “No” Without
Hurting Others
In the previous chapter, we talked about the relationship management skills
you need to develop to be a happy HSP. One of these skills is so important
that it deserves a chapter of its own.
As an HSP, you might have noticed that it’s hard for you to say “no” to
other people. HSPs tend to value good manners, and they don’t like the
thought of hurting anyone’s feelings. There’s nothing wrong with wanting
to help out or show some consideration, but always saying “yes,” even
when you really want to yell “no!” comes at a cost.
Over time, you’ll begin to resent those who ask you for favors. You might
even turn into a martyr, thinking and saying things like, “Why does
everyone else expect me to do everything for them?” and “I never have
enough time to myself—my whole life is just one errand after another.” You
might not stop and realize that if you don’t learn how to say “no,” you are
basically allowing other people to use you as a servant!
When you agree to take on too many projects or chores, you place yourself
at risk of emotional overwhelm. Remember, HSPs often become stressed
when confronted by a long to-do list. Don’t fight against your nature just for
the sake of helping someone else. This is particularly true if the other
person in question doesn’t often go out of their way to lend you a hand.
Relationships don’t have to be a perfect 50/50 split, but there’s no need to
wear yourself out helping someone who takes you for granted.
Given that HSPs are likely to be perfectionists, it’s perhaps unsurprising
that they are usually among the most competent individuals in a workplace.
This has obvious advantages—your chances of success increase if you
know what you’re doing—but there’s one notable downside. When
everyone knows that you are a capable person who doesn’t like to hurt
anyone’s feelings, they will start to ask you to take on more work. Perhaps
you’ve even had the experience of being assigned leadership or
management duties despite the fact you’d rather chew off your own arm
than lead a team. “No” is a two-letter word with the power to save your
sanity.
Contrary to what you might believe, saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad or
selfish person. We all need and deserve to have our own feelings taken into
account when making decisions. Here are a few simple but effective ways
you can say “no” and keep your relationships intact.
Make “no” the first word that comes out of your mouth. Assertive
people start with a firm “no” when declining a request. Ideally, you’ll be
able to give a short, simple answer that leaves the other person with no
doubt as to where you stand.
For example:
“No, thank you, I can’t.”
“No, I don’t have time today.”
“No, that won’t be possible.”
“No, there isn’t space in my schedule for that.”
If someone continues to push you, they are in the wrong—not you.
Just because saying “no” feels unpleasant, doesn’t mean that it isn’t the
right response. For example, suppose someone asks you on a date. If you
happen to be in a relationship, simply saying, “No, thank you, I’m not
single,” will work fine. But what if you just don’t find the other person
attractive and don’t want to hurt their feelings? You could lie and say that
you’re already seeing someone, which might be a good idea if the person
asking you is a stranger. However, if the two of you move in the same
social circles, it won’t be too long before they realize that you are, in fact,
single.
In this situation, you need to remind yourself that saying “no” is the only
humane option. The alternative is to do something that will make both of
you unhappy further down the line. In the case of declining a date, it’s far
better to endure a few moments of awkwardness than to date someone for
several weeks (or even months) before working up the courage to tell them
that you were not interested in the first place.
Remember too that a reasonable person will be able to tolerate a “no
thanks.” Your only obligation is to remain civil, thank them for asking, and
decline with grace. If they continue to ask despite your refusal or start to
harass you, they are the one with a problem!
Do not apologize. Apologies are only appropriate when you have done
something wrong. Politely turning down a request isn’t morally wrong or
even rude, so there’s no reason to say sorry. If the asker continues to put
you under pressure, they are the one who should be apologizing, not you.
Instead of saying “sorry,” you can soften a refusal with phrases like “No,
thank you. I would like to but…,” “No, that won’t be possible because…,”
and “No, thank you. It’s a shame, but I can’t do it because…”
Keep your body language positive. When saying “no,” make a conscious
effort to relax your shoulders, make eye contact with the other person, and
smile politely. You don’t have to be aggressive, just assertive. It may sound
silly, but it can help to practice declining a request in front of the mirror!
Do not make excuses. There’s no need to devise an elaborate explanation
or excuse for why you cannot do something. Not only is a refusal a
complete answer in its own right, but elaborate cover stories can come back
to haunt you. Even if you pride yourself on having an excellent memory,
there’s a chance that you’ll forget exactly what was said, which could result
in no small amount of embarrassment later on.
If the other person doesn’t realize you are just making an excuse, they
might try to “help” you out, and the conversation may soon move into
awkward territory. For instance, if you tell someone that you don’t want to
see a musical with them on Friday night because you can’t get a babysitter,
they might respond by telling you that they can give you the number of a
great babysitter or suggest that the two of you go out the following week
instead. You will then be forced to give another excuse!
Use the broken record technique. Have you ever encountered someone
who doesn’t seem able to take a hint and keeps repeating the same old
question over and over again? There are a couple of reasons this happens.
Some people are just plain pushy, persistent, and rude. Others might assume
that you’ll inevitably say “yes” if they keep asking the same question over
and over again, particularly if you’ve always said “yes” in the past .
Fortunately, the broken record technique is an effective way to shut down
these people. To use the broken record technique, simply repeat your
answer again in exactly the same tone of voice. Maintain the same facial
expression, use the same words, and look them straight in the eye every
time you respond. After a few rounds, they will begin to feel silly and self-
conscious.
If you know someone who wouldn’t mind helping, pass on their name.
Under no circumstance should you try to pawn someone off onto a third
party just because you aren’t brave enough to say “no.” However, on some
occasions, the best thing to do is recommend that the other person approach
someone else who might be able to help. For example, if a colleague asks
you for help with a project and you already have far too much work to do,
it’s fine to recommend that they approach someone else who you know has
both the time to offer assistance and would be happy to do so.
Compliment the person who asked you a favor. Some people react badly
when they hear “no” because they assume that the other person is rejecting
them as an individual, along with their request. If you are dealing with
someone like this, it’s a good idea to offer them a compliment if possible.
For example, “You’re such a hard worker, I know you’ll make the project a
success one way or the other” would be a suitable compliment to give
someone when telling them that you won’t be helping them with their
assignment .
If someone is harassing you, outline the consequences. Unfortunately,
some people believe that they are entitled to your help and support whether
or not you want to give it to them. Occasionally, you will meet someone
who becomes angry or even threatening when you turn down their request.
It may be tempting to give in for the sake of preserving the peace, but this
won’t work out well in the long run—they will assume that they can use
intimidation tactics to get their own way.
The best approach is to defend your boundary by informing them of the
consequences they will face if they continue to push the issue. For example,
you could say, “I have already told you that my answer is ‘no.’ If you
continue to ask me inappropriate questions in the workplace, I will report it
to an HR representative.”
Does Your Self-Image Hinge on Saying “Yes”?
You’ve probably heard time and time again that you are a “nice” person
who can always be relied upon. It’s a wonderful reputation to have, but has
it come to be a central part of your identity? Take a moment to really think
about your answer, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable, because it may
go some way in explaining why you are so reluctant to turn people down.
No one is totally exempt from caring about what everyone else thinks of
them, including HSPs. If you take pride in being the person who never lets
anyone down and always lends a hand, you might be reluctant to say “no”
because it means losing a part of your identity. It may help to remind
yourself that you don’t have to say “yes” at every opportunity to be a good
person. Think of the nicest people you know. I bet that some of them (if not
all of them) have mastered the art of saying “no.”
As an HSP, you probably find a lot of satisfaction in helping others but this
doesn’t mean you have to extend help at every opportunity. Saying “no,
thank you” may not come naturally, but it’s a skill you can learn. These
little words will not only free up your schedule, allowing you to focus on
the people and activities that matter most to you, but it will also help you
shore up your boundaries and prevent others from taking advantage of you.
As you will learn in the next chapter, an unprepared HSP is vulnerable to
exploitative individuals, so it’s a good idea to remain on your guard.
Chapter 4: How To Avoid Falling In
Love Too Quickly, Filter Out
Unhealthy Partners, and Enjoy a Great
Relationship
According to sensitivity experts, HSPs are prone to falling in love in a
quick and dramatic fashion, which can be an intoxicating, exhilarating
experience. Unfortunately, intense love affairs often crash and burn. This
can be painful for anyone, but HSPs are particularly vulnerable to
heartbreak. It’s important to learn how to guard your heart and take a
relationship at a steady pace, even if you are tempted to dive straight in at
the deep end!
HSPs are not irrational, but they are often driven by their feelings when
they meet someone they find attractive. If you are an HSP, you are in
danger of pursuing someone who isn’t necessarily right for you just because
they make you feel good. Another danger comes from settling. Have you
ever felt so lonely and misunderstood that you’d be willing to date (or even
marry) the first half-decent person who crossed your path? It’s OK—many
of us have been there! HSPs love emotional intimacy. Unfortunately, if you
are too desperate to find someone, your judgment and intuition might take a
back seat.
Don’t Assume That Only One Person Can Make
You Happy
As an HSP, you can’t control your feelings, but you can gently challenge
some of the more unrealistic ideas you have about love and romance.
Idealism is a charming trait, and it inspires some HSPs to change the world.
Unfortunately, an HSP in love can fall into the trap of casting someone in
the role of “The One” and come to believe that only one other person can
make them content.
It’s a romantic idea, but it simply isn’t true! If you think about it, most
people have several relationships before they settle down with a long-term
partner. When you are caught up in a whirlwind of daydreams and
hormones, it’s easy to lose perspective. Remember the EQ skills you
learned earlier in this book? Here’s the perfect opportunity to put them into
practice! They will help you remain grounded and will also provide you
with the tools you need to form a healthy bond.
Watch Out for People with Serious Problems
In theory, you might think that an HSP would be drawn to another sensitive
person because they both have similar wants and needs in a relationship. In
reality, it’s a little more complex than that! If you’ve been dating for a
while, you may have noticed a strange pattern emerging. It’s likely that
some of the people who find you attractive seem to require hours of love,
support, and even re-parenting. If you suspect that others see you as an
emotion sponge or even as a counselor, you’re probably right.
It’s not your fault. As an HSP, your natural empathy makes you highly
attractive. That’s the good news. The bad news is that some people, whether
they have malicious intentions or not, are drawn to you in the hope that you
can fix them. Being the helpful person that you are, reluctant to risk hurting
anyone’s feelings, you’ve probably found yourself taking on the role of
armchair psychologist at some point. If you allow this arrangement to
continue, you may never be free. You become too emotionally invested in
the other person and can’t bear to think of them struggling alone.
So, what should you do? Prevention is better than cure. The most important
thing you can do is to realize that other people’s problems aren’t yours to
solve, and they certainly shouldn’t form the basis of a romantic relationship.
If you are dating someone and discover that they have a serious problem or
character flaw, think very carefully before continuing.
Ask yourself this: Do I really want to become entangled with someone who
appears to have significant psychological and emotional problems? Do I
really want to take on the role of someone’s unpaid counselor or aide? Do
not confuse “tormented” or “in pain” with “intriguing” or “challenging.”
Base your choice of partner on whether you share values and interests, not
on whether you can play the role of helper!

How To Spot A Toxic Person

Narcissistic individuals and energy vampires target HSPs. They tend to
assume that because HSPs love helping others, they will give them the
endless supply of attention and validation they so desperately crave. Don’t
fall for it. They will treat you well at first, then discard or abuse you when
they start taking you for granted. Learn the danger signs that signal a
narcissist or energy vampire and avoid dating them at all costs.
Here are the key warnings signs that suggest someone may be a narcissist.
1. They like to talk about themselves all the time. At the start of your
relationship, they might ask you a lot of questions, but this isn’t because
they are actually interested in your life—they simply want to hook you in.
2. They sincerely believe that they are “the best” at everything .
3. They believe they deserve everything life has to offer, even if they don’t
put in much work.
4. They prefer to hang out with people they perceive as “important” or
famous. Status is more important to them than meaningful connections.
5. They often leave you feeling drained, confused, or pessimistic after a day
or night together. Even if you haven’t had an argument and everything
seems OK on the surface, they still manage to bring your mood down.
6. They will happily cast themselves in the role of a victim to get what they
want.
Here are a few indicators that someone is an energy vampire. Note that not
all energy vampires are narcissists, but all narcissists are energy vampires!
1. They see everything through a lens of negativity.
2. They will happily gossip about other people behind their backs, which
means they are probably gossiping about you too.
3. They don’t congratulate you when you succeed. They may even belittle
your achievements.
4. They talk about themselves all the time and expect you to listen to them
for hours.
5. They don’t respect your boundaries.
6. They are jealous of others who have the material possessions or type of
relationship they want for themselves.
7. They use passive-aggressive behaviors such as giving you the silent
treatment when you don’t do as they ask.
If you’ve been blindsided by someone’s good looks and charm, it’s not
always easy to spot these signs. You may be so keen to see someone for
what you want them to be, rather than what they are, that you enter a state
of denial. Sometimes, you have to learn these lessons the hard way.
Don’t beat yourself up. HSPs and non-HSPs alike sometimes chase people
who are toxic or simply not right for them. Just don’t let yourself make the
same mistake twice. If a close friend suggests that you are involved with
someone who isn’t right for you, try not to get defensive. Listen to what
they have to say, and then decide for yourself whether their concerns are
justified.

Trust Your Intuition

Your intuition is one of your greatest gifts as an HSP. Trust it! Your
intuition may not always tell you what you want to hear, but it’s there for a
reason. For instance, suppose you are dating someone who calls regularly,
plans great dates, and compliments you all the time, and yet your inner
voice tells you that something isn’t quite right.
If your intuition is telling you that something’s wrong, it’s time to back off a
little, slow down, and watch for signs indicating that your partner isn’t quite
everything they appear. Sometimes a partner may be acting strangely
because they are unsure how to conduct themselves in a relationship, or
because they are insecure and afraid of doing something “wrong.” It’s OK
to give them a little while to reveal their true selves. In fact, the wisest
people make a point of taking their relationships at a slow pace. If the two
of you really are right for one another, then what’s the rush anyway?

Should You Date Another HSP?

On the face of it, finding another HSP may seem to be a good idea. After
all, you’ll be able to understand one another’s struggles and personality
type, right? Well, yes—but two HSPs won’t automatically make for a happy
couple.
The typical HSP-HSP pairing runs into problems because both partners are
aware, sometimes to a painful extent, of the other person’s moods. Each
will pick up on their partner’s emotional disturbances, which can be
exhausting. Because HSPs tend to be people-pleasers, they might both
worry about satisfying their partner in all areas of the relationship—
sometimes to an excessive degree. When something goes wrong in the
relationship, they both tend to assume the blame, which keeps them locked
in misery.
On the other hand, if both HSPs are self-aware and continually working on
their own self-development, their relationship can be very fulfilling. As
long as both partners are willing to openly express their emotions, talk
through troublesome issues, air their grievances in a constructive manner,
and take responsibility for their own emotions, they can look forward to
many years of happiness. However, it’s essential that both parties be
sufficiently invested in both the relationship and their personal growth.

Make Plans That Don’t Revolve Around Your

Love Life
In Chapter 2, you learned that HSPs are often high in self-awareness but
lack skills in self-management. This means that you may be painfully aware
that you are in love or have a raging crush on someone but aren’t sure what
to do about it.
Although it’s impossible to stop thinking about the other person when
you’re in love, continuing to build your own life and future will help you
maintain a healthy distance and move on if it turns out they aren’t right for
you. If you allow yourself to focus on the other person to the detriment of
your personal development, you’ll have so much energy and emotion
invested in the relationship that you’ll be reluctant to let go. On the other
hand, if you have a full and active life, it will be easier to detach from an
unhealthy relationship that isn’t going anywhere.
Be sure to keep in touch with your friends. Make it a policy never to look to
just one other person for emotional nourishment, because you will be in a
vulnerable position if they leave you. To some extent, it’s normal to spend
less time with your friends in the early days of a romantic relationship, but
you should never abandon your friends entirely !

Speak Up In The Early Days of the Relationship

As an HSP, you are tuned in to other people’s emotions—sometimes to a
painful degree. Your empathetic nature and warm heart draws in people
who have problems and need someone to listen. Have you ever been told
that you are “so easy to talk to” or “such a good listener”? This is a
common experience among HSPs. Although it’s great to lend emotional
support to others, you can end up taking on the role of an emotional sponge
or unpaid therapist unless you learn how to balance your own needs with
your desire to support others.
Don’t let your natural desire to earn someone’s love take priority over your
own comfort and needs. Learn how to say “no” and stand your ground! In
the early stages of a relationship, you may be all too happy to always put
your partner first. Unfortunately, this sets a dangerous precedent. It sends
your partner a clear signal—“I’m here to make my own needs secondary to
yours, and I’m happy to act as your personal servant!”
This attitude rarely results in a healthy relationship. Your partner will
assume that you have low self-esteem, that you don’t have a mind of your
own, or that you are unusually submissive. There’s a risk that any
relationship that develops will be based on an unequal power dynamic,
whereby one person (your partner) drives the relationship, and the other
person (you) plays the role of servant and passenger. You might wake up
months or even years later wondering where your life has gone !

Stop Expecting Perfection in Your

Relationships
As one of nature’s perfectionists, the harsh reality of relationships can seem
like too much for you to handle. For example, most couples fight from time
to time, and you should expect a degree of conflict between yourself and
your partner. In fact, if the two of you never fight, it’s likely that one or both
of you are repressing your true needs and opinions. This isn’t healthy!
If you are serious about finding and keeping a long-term relationship, you
must accept that there is no such thing as the perfect partner, and there is no
such thing as the perfect relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to settle
for the first person you find, just that you need to be prepared to
compromise in some situations.
You also need to be open to constructive criticism and feedback and be
willing to speak up in order to get your needs met. It may not be romantic,
but no one—not even HSPs—can read minds! Don’t fall back on unrealistic
romantic notions such as true love entails knowing precisely what the other
person thinks.

Why HSPs Find It particularly Hard to Deal

with a Break-Up
It’s fair to say that few people feel good when their relationship comes to an
end. Even if we have known for a long time that our partner isn’t the one
for us, it’s still painful. Unfortunately, as an HSP, you are even more
vulnerable to the difficult feelings that accompany heartbreak. Whereas
most people will feel sad and empty for a while following a breakup, HSPs
often feel as though their world is literally collapsing around them.
If you are recovering from a broken relationship, remember that it’s normal
for HSPs to require a longer healing period than the majority of the
population. It’s harder for you to let go of the feelings and memories
associated with your former partner, along with the hopes and dreams you
had for the future. This is true even if you were the one who ended it!
Imaginative HSPs can spend hours agonizing over what they could or
should have done differently, or even picturing what their partner might be
doing without them.
What’s the best way to deal with a breakup as an HSP? You may have read
books or articles advocating that you go “No Contact” with a former partner
once the relationship has ended. To put it simply, going No Contact means
that you do not see, call, or talk to your ex. Neither should you stalk their
social media profile or ask mutual friends how they are doing.
In some cases, it isn’t possible to go completely No Contact. However, it’s
probably the best thing to do if you’re an HSP. Why? Because it gives you
the best chance of moving on. In the short term, it will feel like agony; but
in the long term, you will be much better off. It keeps you from feeding
your own obsession and encourages you to look towards the future. No
Contact also keeps you from running back into your ex’s arms only to be
hurt again. Trust that they are an ex for a reason. If the two of you were
right for one another, the relationship would not have ended. Remember too
that there is more than one person in the world who can make you happy.
The period following a breakup is also the perfect time to practice your self-
management skills. Specifically, think of ways you can channel and come to
terms with your feelings. Don’t just sit on them and hope that they go away!
Talk to a trusted friend, seek out a therapist, write about your feelings, take
up a new hobby—do whatever it takes, as long as it doesn’t hurt your
physical or mental health.
Finding the right romantic relationship can be tough for an HSP, but there’s
no need to feel disheartened. A non-HSP can develop relationship skills and
learn from their mistakes, and you can do the same! Relationships can be
challenging for everyone, regardless of where they fall on the sensitivity
scale. Yes, you might experience the pain of heartbreak more acutely, but
you also have the capacity for deep love and affection.
Chapter 5: How to Eliminate Negative
Energy
As an HSP, you are much more vulnerable than others to the effects of
negative energy, whether it comes from other people or the environment.
Everyone reacts differently when exposed to it, but common symptoms
include fatigue, feelings of nausea, headaches, muscle aches, and a drop in
motivation. Negative energy can make you physically and mentally ill, so
it’s vital that you learn how to eliminate it! In this chapter, you’ll learn
several techniques that will protect you from its effects.

Work On Cultivating a Positive Attitude

There is quite enough negative energy in the world already, so why add to
it? The Law of Attraction states that your personal vibration and energy
level determines who and what comes into your life. In practice, this means
that if you decide to look upon the universe with an open mind and loving
heart, you will attract positive people and energy.
In a world full of negative media that encourages us to think about what is
going wrong rather than all the positive things that are going on all around
us, this is easier said than done. You need to be proactive in changing your
attitude. Start by cutting down the amount of time you spend watching and
reading the news. Yes, it’s good to stay informed when it comes to current
affairs, but the majority of news media is full of sensational stories that are
produced to “entertain” rather than inform.
Choose to be optimistic. Some of us are naturally more inclined to see the
sunny side of any situation, but anyone can learn to be more positive. Watch
your own thoughts. What do you think when you open your eyes in the
morning? Do you look forward to the day ahead, or do you just want to roll
over and go back to sleep?
Every morning, make a point of asking yourself what you are looking
forward to in the coming hours. Just before you go to sleep each night, give
thanks for at least ten things you enjoyed that day. They can be big things,
but the little things count too. For example, be sure to give thanks to the
universe if you enjoyed a fantastic cup of coffee with your breakfast or
found a free parking space the moment you arrived at the mall that
afternoon.
Try keeping a positivity journal. Every day, write down a few things for
which you are grateful, together with any quotes that inspire you or
compliments you have received from others. You can also record your
hopes and dreams for the future. If you are working towards a particular
goal, you can monitor your progress.

Harness the Power of Earth, Water, or Fire

Earth, water, and fire can all be used to absorb and transform negative
energy. Begin by meditating for a few minutes and clarifying your
intentions—to discharge the negative energy that has been building within
you. Imagine it moving as a single, dark mass down your arms and into
your hands. To discharge it, place your hands in water (ideally, free-flowing
water found in a natural environment, but a shower will also work), directly
onto the ground outside, or towards a naked flame.
As you do so, picture the negative energy flowing out of your body, through
your palms and into the element. Don’t worry about spreading negative
energy—each element has an infinite capacity to reshape it and deliver it
back to the universe as a positive force.

Bring Nature Indoors

You’ve probably noticed that it’s easier to feel positive when spending time
outside. Trees, grass, flowers, and running water all filter negative energy
and promote a sense of wellbeing. However, it isn’t always possible to
simply take a walk when you’re stressed or upset.
Luckily, you can bring nature indoors! Start by placing at least one plant in
each room. This will foster a positive atmosphere that will make it easier to
shake off negative energy. Some varieties are particularly beneficial.
Bamboo
A favorite of Feng Shui practitioners, bamboo is considered a potent
symbol of luck and health. It represents the wood element, which improves
general vitality and promotes positive energy. Traditionally, a bamboo
display is made up of an odd number of stalks, as this is thought to bring
more luck. Keep it in a bowl of shallow water out of direct sunlight.
Sage
Sage is popular for its ability to remove negative energy from the
environment. As a bonus, it also has a pleasant smell, making it a good
choice for kitchens and conservatories. Sage plants are prone to drying out
so ensure that their soil is kept moist.
Peace Lilies
A peace lily purifies the air around it, removing harmful gases and toxins
such as carbon monoxide and benzene. It also facilitates the smooth flow of
positive energy. Peace lilies look beautiful and are relatively low
maintenance. They do not require much light, so they can be placed in
windowless rooms.
Orchids
Feng Shui experts believe that orchids act as lightning rods for positive
energy, promoting great emotional and spiritual health. They are well
known for their charming scent, which elevates the mood of all who smell
it. To keep your orchid healthy, simply water it when the soil becomes dry.
Holy Basil
Used in Ayurvedic medicine as a means of cleansing the air of toxic energy,
holy basil will give your home an instant energy boost. It can also be used
to purify water, which can then be sprinkled in every room in your house to
improve the flow of positive energy. To enjoy maximum benefit of this
plant, place it in an east, north, or northeastern part of your house or garden.

Other Ways to Clear Your Home of Negative

Energy
A messy home encourages negative energy to fester, whereas a clean, tidy
space permits the flow of positive energy. Keep a clutter-free home when
possible and get rid of objects you no longer use. This is particularly
important if certain objects hold bad memories for you, as their negative
energy can directly act on your body and mind. Repair broken objects, as
they are another source of bad energy according to Feng Shui philosophy .
Make sure your home gets fresh air and sunlight. Draw back all the curtains
and leave them open as long as possible. Open the windows for at least a
few minutes every day. Fresh air purifies negative energy and helps you
stay upbeat and optimistic.
Smudging is a quick and easy way to rid yourself and your home of
negative energy. All you need to do is light a bundle of sage, blow it out,
and then walk around your house whilst swirling the bundle in a counter-
clockwise direction. Start in the hallway and work your way through every
room.
Consider adding a water feature to your home. For instance, you could
invest in a tabletop water fountain. The sound of running water is
immensely soothing. Our bodies are primarily composed of water, and our
water molecules are permanently in a state of vibration. If you raise the rate
at which your water molecules vibrate, you can eliminate negative energy.
When you are close to an external source of water, its vibration will affect
the water inside your body. The purer the external source, the more positive
your internal energy will become. A moving water feature will therefore
reduce the negative energy in your body, restoring a sense of tranquility and
peace. If you do not like or cannot afford a moving water fountain, simply
keeping a large transparent bowl of clean water in plain sight is an
alternative option.
Finally, you can use saffron to eliminate negative energy from your
surroundings. It emits a pungent scent that is said to repel negative energy
and malevolent spirits. You can mix it in with water, leave it to steep for a
few minutes, then sprinkle the infusion around your home to purify the
environment.

Play Binaural Beats & Pure Tones

Music changes the atmosphere of a home or workspace, and it can help
clear negative energy fast. There are many free recordings of binaural beats
and pure tones available online that will raise your body’s vibration,
stimulate your chakras, and help wash away a toxic aura. Some people find
that listening to natural sounds, such as recordings of waves crashing
against a shore, helps them restore their energy levels.

Laugh
Laughter is one of the fastest ways to clear negative energy and make
yourself feel better. When you’ve had a tough day, find something that
makes you laugh, even if it’s just a five-minute video on YouTube. Laughter
triggers the release of endorphins in your brain, which lowers stress levels
and can even act as natural painkillers.
Why not put together your own personal laughter library so you always
have some funny material on hand whenever you need it? For instance, you
could keep a shelf filled on your bookcase for light-hearted reads or
compile a playlist of comedy recordings on your phone. If you like
cartoons, keep a few stuck to your fridge or stick them on a pinboard near
your desk .

Clap & Sing

The simple act of clapping your hands is enough to break up negative
energy. Singing also promotes the flow of positive energy through your
body and is a quick way to boost your mood. You might feel self-conscious
at first, but after a couple of minutes, you’ll be glad you tried it! For
maximum effect, pair it with high-frequency music.

Transform Your Negative Energy into

Productive Action
When a problem or person is dragging you down, challenge yourself to list
at least three potential courses of action you can take to remedy the
situation. For example, if you hate your job and arrive home each evening
feeling burdened by negative energy, what could you come up with a plan
of action that would either help you find a new position or at least enhance
your current working environment?
If it’s a person who keeps draining your energy, what could you do to
improve your relationship with them? Sometimes it’s as simple as making a
few adjustments to your routine to minimize the amount of contact you
have with them, such as choosing to take lunchtime a bit earlier or later to
avoid running into a toxic colleague.
Let me be clear—not every situation is so easy to solve, and sometimes the
best we can do is use tools that clear negative energy whilst making the
most of a suboptimal job or relationship. However, many people get so
caught up in their own negativity that it doesn’t occur to them to sit down,
carefully weigh their options, and channel their energy into devising a
solution that will make them feel better. Empower yourself by taking a
realistic look at your life and thinking about what you can personally do to
change it.
Offer Others a Helping Hand
When you help someone else, you spread positive energy and make the
world a brighter place. Not only will the person you are helping feel
grateful, but your self-esteem will also skyrocket. Showing someone else
kindness is instant proof that you really can make a difference—you are
here for a reason!

Spend Time with Animals & Pets

Research has shown that people with pets tend to live longer, have stronger
immune systems, enjoy better cardiovascular health, and report lower levels
of stress. Therapy animals are often brought into residential homes for
elderly people and those with disabilities. There is no doubt that pets are a
powerful source of healing.
Playing with a cat or dog will quickly improve your mood and help
eliminate any negative energy you’ve accumulated throughout the day.
Their life force (“chi”) will raise your energy. Animals live in the present;
they do not waste time worrying about the past or fearing the future. We
have much to learn from them. Watching wild animals in a park or in the
woods can also be relaxing .

Protecting Yourself from Negative Energy -

Shielding
As the saying goes, prevention is better than cure. As an HSP, mastering the
art of shielding yourself against negative energy will save you a lot of
trouble. Shielding protects you from emotional contagion, meaning that you
won’t automatically pick up on everyone else’s emotions. Just as a regular
shield protects a soldier from enemy blows, an energy shield will deflect
aggression, hopelessness, and other negative emotions that other people
may knowingly or unintentionally send your way.
You can shield yourself in three simple steps.
1. Imagine a wall or barrier separating your body from everyone and
everything around you. This barrier can take the form of a ring of light, a
gate, or a glowing shield. Some people find it easier to imagine that they are
wrapped in a white light. It doesn’t matter what form your shield takes as
long as it helps you feel safe.
2. Remind yourself that you can choose what passes through the shield.
Picture yourself receiving good energy and positivity in the form of smiles,
compliments, and sincere words of praise. Allow yourself to imagine
feeling uplifting, secure, and content.
3. Visualize your shield keeping out bad energy. Imagine negative energy
simply bouncing off it and away from everyone in the room. Remind
yourself that you get to choose what can and can’t penetrate your barrier.
If you know in advance that you will be exposing yourself to negative
energy—for example, if you are attending a meeting with tense, angry, or
pessimistic people—meditate privately for a few minutes beforehand. Take
this time to breathe deeply, ground yourself in the present, and engage in
creative visualization.
Resist the urge to reflect someone’s negative energy back in their direction.
This is difficult to do because when someone else engages in negative
behavior, it’s tempting to give them a taste of their own medicine. For
example, if someone makes a sarcastic remark, you may feel inclined to
give a cutting answer. However, this approach helps nobody. At best, it
maintains the negative energy in the environment. At worst, it culminates in
open conflict that hurts both parties.
You have many options when it comes to eliminating negative energy from
yourself and your surroundings. As an HSP, learning how to handle
negative energy is a skill you must learn for the sake of your physical and
emotional wellbeing. You don’t need to remember every tip and technique
—just experiment to find two or three that work for you and be ready to use
them the moment you suspect your energy balance has been disturbed.
Chapter 6: Dealing with Depression As
an HSP
High sensitivity isn’t a mental illness, but some HSPs are at an increased
risk of depression and anxiety compared with the general population.
Fortunately, a few lifestyle adjustments, coupled with self-awareness, can
safeguard your mental health. In the following chapters, you’ll learn why
some HSPs are more prone to mental illness than others, and what you can
do if you notice the signs of depression or anxiety.

HSPs and Depression

Depression is a serious mental illness that affects around 20% of the
population at some stage in their lives. Depression isn’t simply a bad mood
—its main symptoms include feelings of hopelessness, and lack of energy,
weight changes, inappropriate guilt, and decreased motivation. If you think
you might be depressed, it’s important to make an appointment with your
doctor.
Psychologists don’t know for sure what causes depression, but most
Western doctors believe that it is caused by an imbalance of chemicals
within the brain. People with depression often experience symptoms
following a stressful time in their lives, but it can also start for no apparent
reason. This can also apply to HSPs. In other words, you don’t need a
reason to be depressed.
However, although each case is different, HSPs appear to be especially
vulnerable in certain situations. Let’s start by looking at the most common
reasons HSPs become depressed.

Overstimulation, Helplessness, & Depression

When an HSP is chronically overstimulated, they may come to feel
helpless, and helplessness can be a precursor to depression. Psychologists
have long known that if someone feels as though they have no control over
their own lives, they are prone to feelings of despair and depression. For
example, suppose an HSP starts a new office job, and within a few days,
they realize that the environment is far too noisy for them; in fact, they keep
getting headaches and even feeling nauseated at the thought of going into
work.
What could the HSP do in this situation? They could quit their job, but that
probably isn’t a good idea unless they have another lined up. Asking their
boss and coworkers for reasonable accommodations, such as permission to
work with headphones on when possible, would probably be a better idea.
However, let’s say that their boss isn’t particularly sympathetic and just tells
the HSP to get on with their work. In this kind of situation, an HSP is
forced to stay in an environment that causes them a lot of distress. Knowing
that there is nothing they can do, they will likely become depressed. To
make matters worse, the more depressed they feel, the less energy they will
have to look for solutions such as finding alternative employment.

Feeling Lost or “Different” Can Trigger

Depression
Another reason an HSP may become depressed is that they don’t
understand why they feel so different from everyone around them. They
may become lonely and come to the conclusion that they will never find
someone who truly understands them. It can be hard to strike a balance
between pursuing relationships on one hand and seeking solitude on the
other. It can take years to find the right match, and the wait can take a toll
on an HSP’s morale .

Paying Attention to the State of the World Can

Trigger Depression
An HSP can easily become despondent at the state of the world. There’s no
denying the sheer amount of suffering experienced by animals and humans
alike. Even non-HSPs sometimes despair when they contemplate poverty,
disease, and so forth. Over time, an HSP may feel almost grief-stricken by
the thought that they can’t do anything to fix the world’s problems.
To make matters worse, they may wonder why those around them don’t
seem too concerned. They may come to believe that they “care too much”
and that they need to “toughen up.” Some HSPs have decided, whether
consciously or not, that it’s best to try to ignore the bad things that happen
in the world. This might help them feel less distressed in the short term, but
emotional suppression isn’t healthy. In some cases, it can lead to an
inability to feel any emotions at all, which increases a person’s vulnerability
to depression.

Perfectionism
HSPs tend to be deep thinkers, and they often hold themselves to high
standards. On the plus side, this can make them very successful. However,
there is a dark side to perfectionism. If you are a perfectionist, any mistake
—even if it’s relatively minor—will be a blow to your sense of identity. Of
course, maintaining high standards over a long period of time is mentally
and physically draining, which increases vulnerability to depression and
burnout .

Depression & Burnout in HSPs

Burnout is a state of total depletion in which an individual experiences
mental and physical exhaustion. Although it can result in a crisis
(sometimes known as a “breakdown”), it’s more likely to take the form of a
slow decline. Someone in a state of burnout becomes numb to the world
around them. They literally cannot take on new tasks and see no point in
carrying on. In extreme cases, burned-out people require several months of
rehabilitation before they recover fully.
Unfortunately, HSPs are more prone to burnout than non-HSPs. In the
workplace, an HSP is usually forced to deal with busy environments, high
workloads, office politics, and the pressure to conform. This is why many
HSPs prefer to be self-employed—they get to manage their own
environment and workload and can take a step back as soon as they identify
the earliest signs of burnout.

Your Early Environment & Depression

For both HSPs and non-HSPs alike, being raised in an unhealthy
environment can increase someone’s vulnerability to depression in later life.
For instance, we know that those who were abused as children are at
significantly higher risk of mental illness as adults.
HSPs are especially susceptible to depression if they grew up in an
unsupportive, invalidating environment. A sensitive child living in a
dysfunctional household will be bombarded by other people’s negative
emotions, and this experience leaves long-lasting psychological wounds.
On the other hand, an HSP who was accepted and loved as a child is
somewhat protected against depression. However, they can still suffer if
they are stuck in a seemingly hopeless situation or feel alienated from the
rest of society.

Do You Spend Time with Negative or Depressed

People?
As an HSP, you feel both your own emotions and those of others keenly. On
the plus side, this makes you a wonderful and supportive friend.
Unfortunately, your tendency to absorb other people’s feelings puts you at
risk of emotional contagion. Whilst you can’t “catch” depression, you can
certainly feel low or even despondent if you spend too much time with
someone you know or suspect to be depressed. It takes a strong HSP to
maintain a healthy relationship with someone fighting depression, but you
can help them while protecting yourself. Check in with yourself and set
some firm boundaries.
For example, if you notice that someone has fallen into the habit of calling
you several times a week in order to talk about their problems, you need to
check in with yourself and take an inventory of how these interactions make
you feel. If you realize that your conversations with this person leave you
feeling down for several hours afterward, it’s time to let them know that
you need to either cut back on the number of conversations you have with
them or talk about more positive (or just neutral) topics instead.

How to Handle Depression as an HSP

As you can see, there are many reasons you might become depressed as an
HSP. So, how can you safeguard your mental health? It depends on the
reason you feel low, but here are some tips.

Accept That You Are Different

Acknowledging your status as an HSP is helpful and healing. Thanks to the
numerous online communities that have sprung up on the internet, you no
longer have to feel alone. There are plenty of supportive blogs and websites
that will help you make the most of your special trait. When you take a
healthy pride in being an HSP and connect with others, you will no longer
feel alienated. Given that 20% of the population is an HSP, you might also
be able to find another HSP and support one another. Look out for those in
your work or school that might be highly sensitive. Try to strike up a
friendly conversation. You might make a new friend.

Get Enough Time Alone

We’ve already established that HSPs require a lot of space. If you lead a
busy lifestyle, it’s easy to fill your schedule up to the extent that you don’t
have time for yourself. All too often, HSPs suddenly realize that their lives
are too full and they have little opportunity to retreat from the outside
world.
Schedule time for yourself in the same way you would plan any activity,
and honor that commitment. Yes, your work and relationships are
important, but spending time alone is essential for your mental health.
Think in advance of what you would like to do during these periods. Just
sitting in a relaxing bath with a good book might be all you need to feel
better after a tough day.

Work on Leading a Healthier Lifestyle

Most of us know that our bodies and minds are interlinked. The saying
“Healthy mind, healthy body” is a cliché for a reason. Cutting down on
alcohol, reducing your intake of processed foods, getting more exercise,
sticking to a regular sleep schedule, and making time to relax for at least a
few minutes every day can do wonders for your mental health.

Focus on Forming & Maintaining Positive

Relationships
If spending time with depressing people is hurting your mental health,
what’s the antidote? Spending time with uplifting people, of course! You
are readily influenced by other people’s moods, so use it to your advantage.
Even if you are highly introverted, try to socialize with those who lift you
up at least a couple of times each month. When you have no choice but to
interact with negative people, use your shielding skills to protect yourself
from emotional harm.

Learn How to Challenge Negative Thoughts

Depression is a complex illness with many possible causes and
manifestations, but most professionals believe that it is sustained by
habitual negative thinking. For example, many depressed people assume
that they are boring, unappealing, and have little to offer the world. They
may regularly think to themselves, “No one would ever want to talk to me,”
“I’m utterly useless,” or “I’m not worth listening to.”
You can see how this type of negative thinking keeps depression going. It’s
like having a bully following you around all day, whispering (or shouting)
nasty things in your ear. Even the most naturally optimistic person would
struggle to feel happy if they had to listen to unrelenting negativity all day.
Fortunately, you can learn to identify and challenge your negative thoughts.
This exercise will help you.
1. Identify your negative thought and write it down.
2. Note how the thought makes you feel. For example, if you think, “I am
ugly,” you may feel worthless or upset as a result.
3. Ask yourself the following questions, and think carefully about the
answers.
- Do I have any evidence that contradicts the negative thought?
- What would I say to someone else in the same situation?
- Is this a helpful way to think?
- Can I think of a more balanced thought that won’t make me feel as bad ?
This process won’t be easy at first but with enough practice, you’ll be able
to do it anywhere. It doesn’t matter whether you actually believe your new
balanced thoughts at first—a depressed brain requires serious retraining.
You may wish to check out books on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
to learn more techniques to challenge your negative thoughts. If you feel
overwhelmed by the prospect of doing this work alone, consider seeing a
therapist.

Consult a Therapist or Coach Who Can Help

You make Changes in Your Life
As you know, feelings of helplessness can result in depression. To tackle the
root cause, you need to identify the areas of your life that need fixing and
devise a plan of action that will help you take back control. Learning how to
handle your emotions will help you deal with emotional overwhelm and
depression in the short term but the only viable long-term solution is to take
a long, hard look at your lifestyle and situation and make whatever
adjustments are necessary for your mental health.
Unfortunately, it can be hard to do this alone, particularly if your motivation
has disappeared and you aren’t even sure how to begin fixing your
problems. This is where a good therapist or coach can help you. They can
provide an objective view of your situation, equip you with the skills you
need to solve your own problems, and provide emotional support as you
make changes. They can also help you work through maladaptive thought
patterns and take a more positive approach to life .
You can ask a medical practitioner to refer you to a psychotherapist or you
can search for a qualified professional by visiting the official websites of
counseling training and regulatory bodies. For example, in the US, you can
find a therapist at counselling.org, the website of the American Counseling
Association.
Earlier in this chapter, you learned that some HSPs may be prone to
depression if they grew up in a disturbed or chaotic home. If this applies to
you, you might also need to process difficult childhood experiences and
work through past trauma with the help of your therapist.

Don’t Forget to Cleanse Yourself of Negative

Energy
In Chapter 5, we looked at how and why you should be proactive in
eliminating negative energy from your home and life. When you sense that
your mood is about to take a downward turn, consciously choose to
eliminate negative energy from your body and space. Set aside an afternoon
to clean and tidy your home. Ask a friend or relative for help if you are low
on energy and motivation.
When you are depressed, basic self-care can be a chore. Grounding,
smudging, meditation, and other helpful techniques that you would usually
enjoy can feel impossible. Do not push yourself too hard. Challenge
yourself to do one thing every day that helps remove toxic energy from
your life. For instance, you could try 10 minutes of meditation practice one
day and promise yourself to cleanse your home of negative energy by
smudging it the next .

Consider Complementary Treatment Options

If you feel depressed, it’s important to see your regular doctor. They can
carry out tests to ensure that your symptoms are not caused by another
condition, such as thyroid problems. If you receive a diagnosis of
depression, you might be advised to take antidepressants.
Medication works for some people, but some HSPs find conventional
treatments unpleasant and ineffective. Although antidepressants can cause
side effects in anyone regardless of their sensitivity levels, HSPs are
particularly vulnerable to nausea, skin rashes, digestive complaints, and
other problems that can arise when taking these drugs. Of course, they are
sometimes necessary to help an HSP through a crisis. If you have been
prescribed a drug, you should never stop taking it without consulting a
medical professional.
Complementary therapies that involve energy work can also be useful for
HSPs who struggle with depression. For example, you could consider
seeking out a Reiki practitioner. Reiki is a form of energy healing based on
the theory that a trained therapist can facilitate the movement of energy
from their hands to a patient’s body merely by using the power of touch.
According to Reiki practitioners, we all have “life force energy” that
powers our bodies and minds. If these energy levels drop, the result is
fatigue and susceptibility to illness. During a Reiki session, a therapist
restores the body’s life force energy, which leads to feelings of relaxation,
positivity, and peace. You remain fully clothed throughout the treatment,
and there is no pain or discomfort involved.

You Can Do It!

Depression is a frightening illness, but you don’t have to suffer alone.
Although there is still a stigma surrounding mental illness, people are more
willing to talk about these issues than ever before. Being an HSP does not
mean you are doomed to live a life ruled by your emotions, and neither does
it mean that you are destined to get depression. In fact, if you take charge of
your self-development and learn how to work with your feelings, you will
actually be safeguarding yourself against mental illness.
Chapter 7: Dealing with Anxiety as an
HSP
An HSP who lacks insight into their special trait might assume that they are
just a jittery, anxious person destined to live a life of worry. Fortunately, it
doesn’t have to be this way. As you’ve made your way through this book,
you will have come to appreciate why an HSP can easily feel overwhelmed
and anxious. In fact, it’s almost inevitable—being caught in a tsunami of
emotions and energy fields naturally has a significant impact on a person’s
wellbeing. The good news is that when you develop self-awareness and
self-management skills, you won’t have to suffer from chronic anxiety.

The Difference Between High Sensitivity &

Anxiety
To the untrained eye, high sensitivity and anxiety disorders appear similar.
In fact, many people use the words “sensitive” and “anxious”
interchangeably. For example, someone with a phobia of small spaces will
have panic attacks whenever they have to spend time in a large crowd.
Their symptoms—feeling overwhelmed, shaky, jittery, and physically
unwell—are the same as those reported by HSPs when they are highly
stimulated.
Although not all people with anxiety disorders are HSPs and not all HSPs
have anxiety disorders, there is a link between anxiety and sensitivity. HSPs
tend to have particularly sensitive startle reflexes, which make them more
prone to heightened emotional arousal. An individual’s reflexes are
determined by their genetics, which partially explains why HSPs typically
report that sensitivity seems to run in their family.
Just to make matters worse, the average HSP has a vivid imagination that
can fuel their anxieties even further. This is a downside of creativity! They
are all too capable of imagining worst-case scenarios, which further feeds
into their anxiety or panic. For example, if they feel especially shaken in a
noisy environment, they may start to wonder whether they are having a
heart attack and even begin to worry how their family or friends will deal
with the news of their death! This may sound melodramatic or ridiculous to
a non-HSP, but the distress people with this trait feel is real.
The key difference, of course, is that non-HSPs with anxiety disorders can
approach their anxiety as a mental illness that can be eliminated entirely
with the right treatment. On the other hand, an HSP will never fully
eliminate their sensitivity and susceptibility to anxiety and panic. If you are
a particularly anxious HSP, aim to get your tendency to worry under control
rather than to overcome it completely. You can help yourself cope with high
levels of intense stimuli, but you will always have a lower stress threshold
than a non-HSP.

Tips for Anxious HSPs

Ride the Wave of Anxiety – Don’t Try to Fight It
The best way to combat anxious thoughts and panic attacks is to accept
what is happening and ride them out. Resisting your feelings will only make
them worse. Think of it like this—if someone tells you not to think about a
polar bear, what happens? You think about a polar bear, of course! The
same principle applies here.
It’s impossible to shut down a panic attack once your nervous system has
sprung into action. When you begin to panic, your body releases adrenalin
that triggers your fight-or-flight response. At this point, you have a choice
to either try to reason your body out of its symptoms or choose to accept
what is happening and wait it out.
Therapist Linda Walter, who specializes in working with anxious people,
recommends the R.I.D.E. technique. It’s a simple acronym that can help
you handle even the roughest of panic attacks !
Recognize: Acknowledge that you are having a panic attack.
Involve: Choose to engage with your surroundings. Use grounding and
breathing exercises to keep yourself rooted in the present.
Distract: This step is self-explanatory. All you need to do is find something
that holds your attention, even if it’s just for a few moments.
End: Trust that even the scariest of panic attacks usually pass within a few
minutes, and almost all attacks end within 30 minutes.
It may not feel like it, but anxiety can’t kill you. You have the strength to
make it through to the other side!
A mantra is another useful tool. Come up with a phrase or saying in
advance and repeat it to yourself during difficult times. For instance, you
could tell yourself, “This will pass,” or “I just need to wait.” Write it on a
card and keep it in your purse or wallet so you have it on hand. You could
even make it your phone wallpaper!
Master Breathing Exercises
Breathing exercises can make you feel better during times of high anxiety.
Practice slow, deep breathing when you are calm until it becomes second
nature. You will then be able to use this technique when anxiety strikes. To
calm yourself down, begin by inhaling through your nose. Picture the air
filling your lungs. Hold your breath whilst counting to three. Purse your lips
and exhale slowly. As you breathe out, make a conscious effort to relax
your body. Pay particular attention to your neck, shoulders, stomach, and
jaw.
A variation of this exercise is the “Calming Counts” technique. Find a
comfortable place if possible and sit down. Begin by inhaling slowly and
deeply. As you exhale, tell yourself to relax. Next, take ten normal breaths.
Shut your eyes and keep them closed as you count down, either in your
head or out loud. You can also ask someone else to count for you if you feel
very worried and unable to concentrate. As you do this exercise, make a
conscious effort to relax the muscles in your body.
Watch for Patterns
Some people find that their feelings of worry and panic appear to come and
go at random, but there are usually some underlying triggers. Pay close
attention to the events preceding your periods of anxiety and panic. You can
then make a plan of action. For example, if you seem to get anxious around
a particular person, you will need to work on your energy shielding, use
your boundary-setting skills, or learn how to resolve disagreements. If a
particular environment makes you feel tense and panicky, use the
techniques outlined in this book to cleanse it of negative energy.
Remember that if you are generally stressed and anxious, it won’t take
much to tip you over the edge into a panic attack or a state of emotional
overwhelm. To thrive as an HSP, you will benefit from getting into healthy
habits that will help you manage stress, such as regular meditation and
energy work.

Finding a Sympathetic Mental Health

Professional
If your feelings of anxiety are causing you a lot of distress, or you are
having problems functioning at home or work, you should consider seeking
professional help. However, it’s important that you choose a doctor or
therapist who appreciates that some people are simply more sensitive than
others, and therefore have different needs. You may need to take anti-
anxiety medication if your symptoms are severe, but it’s usually more
effective to take a long-term approach and learn to manage your own
feelings.
For example, a non-HSP who has developed an anxiety disorder following
a difficult period in their life can reasonably expect to make a full recovery
and return to their usual low levels of anxiety, but an HSP should not be
encouraged to change their personality just to fit in with society’s idea of
“normal.”
When attending an initial consultation, ask whether they are accustomed to
working with HSPs. If they aren’t familiar with the term, say something
like, “You see a lot of people, so you know that some people are just
naturally more sensitive. I’m in that camp!” You could even bring some
literature on high sensitivity with you. A caring, open-minded health
professional should be willing to listen. If not, find someone else who is
more on your wavelength .

Understanding Your Past

In the same way that past experiences can lay the foundations for
depression, they can also make you more prone to worry and anxiety. For
example, if you were bullied as a child or teenager, you might be reluctant
to trust others and find yourself panicking in social situations. Sometimes,
simply becoming aware of these patterns is enough to help you feel better.
However, working with a therapist is beneficial if your worries are deep-
seated.

Make Changes to Your Diet

No one eats a perfectly healthy diet all the time, but it’s worth making a few
changes because your diet can make a huge difference in how you feel.
Don’t aim for perfection, because you’ll only make yourself more anxious!
Cut Down on Sugar
Too much sugar can lead to difficulty concentrating, visual disturbances,
and fatigue. Sugar highs lead to dramatic crashes, which can come with the
physical and psychological symptoms associated with anxiety such as
shaking and feelings of panic. Although sugar does not directly cause panic
attacks, its effects can make you feel as though you might have one, and
your worries can bring on the real thing.
Skip the Fruit Juice
Do you prefer to drink juice rather than eat whole fruit? If so, it might be
time to cut back. When you eat a piece of fruit, your body digests it slowly.
The sugar hits your bloodstream at a modest rate. However, when you drink
juice, your blood sugar will suddenly spike before crashing soon after,
which can worsen or trigger anxiety.
Pass On the Alcohol
Alcohol can help you feel calm, but the effects are only temporary. You risk
developing an alcohol dependency if you get into the habit of using it to
help you relax. You will also disrupt your blood sugar and sleep schedule
after just a couple of glasses, which won’t help you feel better!
Reduce Your Caffeine Intake
Be careful not to drink too much caffeine. Stick to one or two caffeinated
drinks per day and avoid it after 2 p.m. You may find that even a little bit of
caffeine is too much and choose to cut it out of your diet altogether.
Remember, HSPs often have sensitive bodies that react strongly to
stimulants. Chocolate contains caffeine (along with processed sugar), so
restrict your intake to a small amount of once or twice a week.
Experiment with a Gluten-Free Diet
Many people with gluten intolerance and celiac disease report feelings of
anxiety. Research carried out with celiac patients suggests that their anxiety
levels drop once they have cut out gluten for a year, and some doctors
believe that people with non-celiac gluten sensitivity are also prone to
feelings of anxiety when they ingest gluten. Dr. Rodney Ford, who has a
special interest in the effects of gluten on the body, believes that it might
trigger or overstimulate the nervous system, giving rise to feelings of worry
and panic. Given that HSPs have highly reactive nervous systems, it makes
sense that they might be more sensitive to gluten than the average
individual.
There is relatively little work in this area to date, but anecdotal evidence
suggests that eliminating gluten may be effective in controlling anxiety in
some individuals. If your anxiety hasn’t responded to self-help, therapy, or
medication, you could try a gluten-free diet. However, it’s best to work with
a doctor or dietitian if you want to try this kind of eating plan as it can result
in malnutrition if not carried out under proper supervision.

Carry Crystals
Blue lace agate, rose quartz, and black tourmaline are just three crystals
commonly recommended by healers treating people with anxiety. They
carry positive vibrational energy that has a soothing effect on the nervous
system. To get the most benefit from a crystal, wear it as a piece of jewelry
so that it is in constant contact with your skin. If this isn’t possible, you can
carry a crystal in your pocket. When you meditate, hold a crystal in the
palm of your hand to cleanse yourself of stress and tension.
When choosing a crystal, allow your intuition to guide you. If you feel that
a particular stone is right for you, that’s the one you should buy! To cleanse
them of negative energy, leave them in strong sunlight or moonlight for a
few hours.
Anxiety is a common problem for HSPs. Fortunately, there are many steps
you can take to help regulate your mood and control your worries. The best
approach is to combine a healthy lifestyle with self-awareness, energy
work, and specific techniques you can use to help you deal with panic
attacks and waves of anxiety.
Conclusion
Congratulations on taking the first step forward on your journey as an HSP!
When you picked up this book, you probably felt somewhat nervous or
perhaps even skeptical. That’s completely normal—not many HSPs know
that their personality type has a name and that there are millions of others
out there who share their experiences.
Now that you understand what it really means to be an HSP, you will see
yourself and your past in a new light. This paves the way to self-acceptance,
which is one of the most precious gifts of all. No longer will you wonder
why some people and places have such a dramatic effect on you, and no
longer will you feel helpless in the face of your own emotions.

Remember that personal growth is a lifelong endeavor. Go at your own

pace. For example, you may wish to focus on learning to cleanse yourself of
negative energy first before reevaluating your relationships. Just like any
other skill, self-mastery becomes easier over time.
May your journey be fulfilling and joyous!
Thanks for reading!
I hope this book has helped you come to terms with your needs as an HSP
and that you have enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
It would mean a lot to me if you left an Amazon review—I will reply to all
questions!
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Kindest regards,
 Also by
Judy Dyer

Grasp a better understanding of your gift and how you can embrace every
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