Delicate Bonds

Aisha was aware that her life had never been simple and that it would not be soon.
She was seventeen years old and resided with her family in a little residence in
Southwestern Ontario, Canada. Still, their home appeared impenetrable and oppressive, like
a prison. Her mother, Anju, was a complex figure in her life. Anju loved Aisha, but her verbal
abuse and emotional neglect frequently overwhelmed that love. Anju worked diligently,
taking up many jobs to provide Aisha with the things she lacked as a child. In exchange,
Aisha was expected to shoulder a hefty load of obligations. "Why are you just sitting there,
lazy girl? Start with the dishes; You treat me worse than a maid."
Anju would tell her daughter, handing her a stack of soiled plates.
Aisha, always responsible, would nod and get to work, her heart heavy, knowing that she
had little choice but to obey. She felt heavy stones on her heart, and her eyes began to tear,
but she obediently agreed with not a smile in sight, only lashing out when she had enough.
Her dreams of a better life were frequently overshadowed by the harsh reality of her
circumstances. She yearned to flee, far away from the never-ending chores and her mother's
never-ending complaints. Still, her love for her family held her back. Duty and love were like
chains that tethered her to this life. Ravi, her father, was another perplexing presence in her
life. When he was sober, he was a caring and loving father. Aisha treasured those rare
moments when her family felt like a true family. However, as the alcohol flowed through his
veins, he transformed into a stranger whose erratic behaviour filled their home with chaos
and fear. "Ravi, your family and you treat me like dirt," Anju would beseech when his
drunken rage erupted. She felt sorry for them despite the rough waters of their relationship.
Aisha had a deep resentment for her dysfunctional parents but also loved them.

Chapter 2: Broken Dreams

In a refugee camp in Nepal, where poverty was as prevalent as the dust that clung to
everything, Aishas' mother's journey had started. When she was four, her father passed
away, leaving her mother paralyzed and struggling to make ends meet. Anju had taken on
the role of family provider at the early age of seven. Anju had two sisters, one older and one
younger; she was the middle. In her anecdote, her mother, Sara, loved her elder sister more
as Sara thought Anju was more capable. With her eldest sister married away, she held the
burdens of her own family. People frequently stole from them, and she couldn't do much.
Anju had to spend her childhood at her uncle's, where she recalls being treated terribly. Her
daily routine included waking up before sunrise and only getting to sleep after completing her
chores, which often extended until around three in the morning. Even though she was
struggling financially, she selflessly gave money to her elder sister, and she was consistently
the one who had to settle her mother's debts. Anju's mother remained in perpetual debt, and
Anju was always the one to shoulder the burden. These financial troubles haunt her, often
leading to heated arguments over the phone. Anju married at fifteen, expecting a better life,
and gave birth to a child at seventeen. Although moving to Canada was supposed to be a
new beginning for them, their past followed them everywhere. They had traded a bamboo
home in the refugee camp for a life in Canada. Their lack of wealth was constantly brought
to mind by the roaches that darted across the floor. The mother of Aisha would sell milk,
weave yarn, and other odd tasks. She has lost the energy she formerly had due to being
unemployed.
One evening, Aisha told her mother, bracing herself for her mother's response,
"Mom, I lost my job." Anju blinked quickly away from her phone. "It’s your fault. I don't have
time for your problems," she replied, her voice devoid of warmth or concern but with a hint of
rage. Aisha had once found solace in volleyball, a passion that burned brightly within her. It
was her escape from the harsh realities of life, a chance to be free from responsibilities,
even if it was for a few hours. But she had to let go of her sanctuary when she failed to make
the school team and couldn't afford club fees. At times of rage and heartache, Aisha turned
to Buddhism, finding strength and guidance in Buddha’s teachings. When her mother's
anger and frustration became unbearable, Buddhism became the beacon of light that she
desperately needed.

Chapter 3: Dreams and Despair

Aisha's younger brother, Raj, was eleven when he left for India to become a monk, a
decision made by their family. Aisha had sobbed before he left, when he left and after he left.
For months on end, she would down in her notes the feeling of loss and regret she felt at his
absence. Her heart ached deeply, like the bottom of a cliff, at the thought of losing the only
family member who could have understood her. But she had also been happy for him,
knowing he had found purpose and peace. Confusion gnawed at her soul as Aisha stood at
the crossroads of her own destiny, torn between her desire to become a nun and her dream
of becoming a dentist. The religious path shined brightly, offering solace and a sense of
purpose. Still, the material world demanded her attention, pulling her in a different direction.
Aisha rarely spoke to her mother these days. The woman who had once been her anchor
had become the source of her misery. Their house was no longer a home but a grave sight,
a place filled with sorrow, misery, agitation, and yearning for death. A Place where dreams
lay shattered and tantrums flared daily. Her father, despite his flaws, loved Aisha deeply. He
held high hopes for her future, seeing the potential within her. However, her once-promising
academic performance was gradually destroyed by the weight of her obligations, the
pressure of school, and the continual craziness at home. Aisha felt a great deal of regret,
especially for being abusive to Raj, whom she had nurtured as a third parent. He was a
mischievous kid who frequently caused her trouble, but she had been too harsh with him.
Showing her wrath instead of teaching with compassion. Her parent's incessant demands
that she perform well in school simply increased her obligations.

Chapter 4: Wedding
Anju abruptly entered Ashia's room, where she had been diligently studying for her
upcoming test. She starts taking her anger out.” Why didn’t you come to the wedding when I
told you word-for-word to come! Everyone asked for you. Your awful dad's family was there,
too. You rotten daughter, you don’t respect me; no one does. I pooped you out. Your
NOTHING!” Anju was inraged and spilled her frustrations to her daughter. Ashia replied, “I
didn’t want to go. I was busy and knew you guys wouldn’t come home till late. You came
home at 5:00 a.m.”
Anju's anger overflowed, and she began hurling insults, each one feeling like a
pitch-black ooze pouring from her lips, filling the room with an oppressive cloud of darkness.
Ravi tells Anju to get his family out of her mouth, constantly bringing them up whenever she
is enraged. This scenario had been repeated many times, with Anju and Ravi engaging in
heated arguments. In such moments, Ashia had learned to either dissociate or refuse to
hear it with the help of music. September 23, 2023, was a Saturday and an important figure
wedding for the son of Raj's godparents. Anju desperately wanted Ashia to come, but Ashia
would much rather stay home. Ashia thought about it, but it seemed every time she went out
with her parents to a social gathering, they didn’t come here till really late or just spent the
night. These gatherings are filled with alcohol, meaningless discussions and someone bound
to get hurt. Ravi, fueled by alcohol, would frequently become a nuisance, itching for
confrontations. Ashia didn’t bother thinking of the past. She just thought about how much
schoolwork she had. The following Tuesday, she had a chemistry test and a math test.
During a call with her brother and uncle, Anju again barged into her room, this time
searching for a hair straightener. She began scolding Ashia, and when she noticed Raj on
the call, she confronted Raj and accused her daughter of disrespect. To shield her brother
from the chaos, Ashia muted her microphone. However, when Raja mentioned he couldn't
hear, Anju's anger flared up again. Ashisa unmuted the mic, and Anju resorted to slapping
Ashia repeatedly on the cheek during the call. All Ashia could say was, "He can hear, he can
hear." Anju, with frustration, said, "You think I'm stupid, that you can fool me?" Her anger
raged on, and she summoned her sister to the facts right. Left with no alternative, Ashia
ended the call and waited for her mother to leave. With a mountain of schoolwork to
complete, it was challenging to concentrate. Her mind was clouded with anguish, and she
longed to retreat to her bed and find solace in tears. Anju spills her guts on what happened
at the wedding. This was the exact reason why she didn’t want to go to the wedding in the
first place. Ashia has vowed to herself that if she can control it, she would instead not go
anywhere with her parents. Ashia is so hurt. All she does to ease her pain is write this
memoir. Anju still cries to her sister in the small living room about her trauma, seeming
unaware of the emotional trauma inflicted on her daughter. Ashisa is left with the hope that
such painful episodes will not occur, but she’s aware it will until she takes her last breath.

Conclusion: The Unbearable Burden

As the days passed, Aisha's once-bright future grew dimmer. Her grades began to
slip, and her studies suffered. She knew how important school was, but it was hard to
continue when all you heard was fake flattery when guests came. But see madness when no
one is home. The house remained a testament to their struggles, its walls echoing with
arguments and despair. Aisha's mother, despite her flaws, yearned for her daughter to
succeed but could not provide the guidance and support that Aisha so desperately wanted.
All Aisha wanted was for her mother to love her even though she knew how much she cared
at the moment. It was hard to express, and all she could do was cry in bed day in and out;
luckily, she had friends who didn’t mind hearing her out. Cousins who also struggle with their
parents that make her feel her family isn’t the odd one out. Without a happy ending, this
story is a tale of silent suffering and unspoken words. Overweight and burdened, Aisha
stood on the bridge of her future, knowing that her dreams were slipping through her fingers.
She longed for escape, for freedom from a life that was filled with more grief than happiness.
Her mom tried to make her happy, but her actions and harsh words always overtook any
kind of sacrifice she made. of her life, but the love and duty she felt for her family held her
fast. As we leave Aisha at seventeen, we can only hope that someday, somehow, she will
find the strength to break free from the chains that bind her. Her dreams, once so vivid, have
faded into the background, overshadowed by the harsh realities of her parents. Asiha
doesn’t want kids in fear she will turn into her mother.