‘AMAR JIBAN’ AS AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY / FEMINIST WRITING / DECI'S

JOURNEY OF EDUCATION / THE PORTRAYAL OF WOMEN IN SOCIETY OF

BENGAL
¹ “So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters; and whether it matters for ages or
only for hours, nobody can say.” (Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own)

The innate desire to write is universal, but historically, this pursuit has been predominantly reserved for
men. This challenge is particularly pronounced for female writers, evident in the scarcity of
autobiographies by women in the literary canon. Meenakshi Malhotra, in "Representing Self, Critiquing
Society: Selected Lifewritings by Women," explores the gendered nature of autobiographies, emphasizing
the perceptible influence of the writer's gender. While acknowledging that writing is not biologically
determined, there exists a nuanced perspective, as articulated by Virginia Woolf. The autobiography
"Amar Jiban" by Rassundari Devi, the first full-length Bangla autobiography, reflects not only the
constraints faced by women in her time but also their evolving struggles.

Rassundari Devi's "Amar Jiban" serves as a profound documentation of the women's condition in India,
particularly in Bengal. Her hard-earned literacy becomes a remarkable tool for self-discovery, dramatizing
the question of women's access to language like no other autobiography. In a daring departure from her
conventional domestic life, Rassundari learned to read in the challenging circumstance of the 'andarmahal'
at the age of twenty-five, a noteworthy event in her otherwise humdrum existence.

Writing her autobiography becomes Rassundari's search for self within society and culture, providing a
chance to critique the then society from a feminist perspective. Her efforts to educate herself, defying
societal norms, gain special attention, especially considering the transformation in women's situations in
the twenty-first century. Rassundari's struggles echo Virginia Woolf's call for a room of one's own to
write.

² Against prevailing beliefs, Rassundari pursued education despite the fear that learning to read and write
could lead to her husband's death. Her determination is evident in her clandestine efforts, such as stealing
pages from her husband's Bhagavat to fulfill her thirst for knowledge. Rassundari attributes her literacy to
divine intervention, consistently invoking God's help throughout her composition. Rassundari's
autobiography served as a platform for social commentary, addressing issues like women's education,
motherhood challenges, and the plight of widows. She critically examined the repressive nature of the
family institution, particularly its impact on women. The antahpur tradition confined women to inner
rooms, burdened with domestic responsibilities, illustrating the oppressive conditions they endured.

Men, wielding power, not only dictated familial dynamics but also tightly controlled women's
movements, forbidding them from crossing boundary gates for socializing, let alone pursuing economic
independence through work. The antahpur's compartmentalized lifestyle, restricting women to inner
apartments, persisted, and Rassundari, influenced by this tradition, never opposed it directly.

³ Despite her compliance, Rassundari didn't accuse individuals but rather protested against the orthodox
Hindu tradition, which she perceived as responsible for women's low status. It's noteworthy that, while
acknowledging societal constraints, she expressed unwavering admiration for her husband, a seemingly
contradictory stance in her critique of prevailing norms.
"Amar Jiban" stands as a mirror reflecting contemporary society through the lens of a woman's life.
Rassundari skillfully intertwines her personal experiences with broader societal realities, creating an
exemplary instance of self-expression in relation to events, people, spiritual devotion, and aspirations. By
bridging her past to the present, she effectively represents two generations, earning praise from Sen as a
glorious example of a Bengali housewife revealed to the world.

Rassundari's autobiography predates social reforms, emphasizing her aspiration for literacy as its core
theme. Her clandestine pursuit of education, forbidden in her marital home, symbolizes a departure from
societal norms. Despite facing domestic constraints, she dreamt of reading Chaitanya Bhagavat, and her
desire to be literate was nurtured in utmost secrecy.

⁴ “If I am asked to describe my state of mind, I would say it was very much like the sacrificial goat being
dragged to the altar, the same hopeless situation, the same agonized screams.” (Rassundari Devi, Amar
Jiban)
After her marriage at the tender age of twelve, she realised the harsh realities faced by women in domestic
life, where responsibilities, including child-rearing and household chores, left little time for personal
pursuits. The text further exemplifies the demanding nature of women's roles within households, limiting
their time and energy for academic interests. Social concepts of propriety confined women within the
household, rendering them essential but invisible and neglected elements of society. Rassundari's
narrative sheds light on the constraints placed upon women and their struggle for personal growth within
the confines of domesticity.

Rassundari Devi's initial illiteracy did not thwart her forbidden desire for literacy, which she materialized
through her autobiography, creating a space to narrate her experiences both as an individual and a part of
the broader society. Each entry is preceded by a verse composition addressed to Dayamadhav,
emphasizing the distance between the writing and written self. Rassundari transforms from a docile
housewife to an insightful critic of a society chaining women to housework, achieving self-actualization
through the power of words.

⁵ The autobiography reflects the societal disapproval of women's education, perpetuated even by fellow
women acting as agents of patriarchy. Rassundari chronicles the humiliation and restrictions imposed on
women, illustrating the strenuous responsibilities and lack of support for domestic chores. The narrative
becomes a feminist lens critiquing societal norms, emphasizing the intimate microelements of women's
lives.

Rassundari Devi's life indeed represents a series of bold departures from the patriarchal norms of her
time, constituting actions and decisions viewed as 'transgressions' by society. Despite the prevailing belief
that literate women brought disaster and were punished with widowhood, she not only learned to read but
also dared to document her domestic life in a book, defying societal expectations. The audacious act of
publishing her work marked a significant breach of the strict boundaries imposed on upper-class Hindu
women, involving three major transgressions: reading, writing, and entering the public sphere.