A Good Mother

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/44044488.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: 二哈和他的白猫师尊 - 肉包不吃肉 | The Husky and His White Cat
Shizun - Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat
Relationships: Chu Wanning/Taxian-jun, Chu Wanning/Mo Ran | Mo Weiyu
Characters: Chu Wanning, Taxian-jun, Mo Ran | Mo Weiyu, Original Chu
Wanning/Mo Ran | Mo Weiyu Child(ren)
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Trans Chu Wanning, Non-Graphic Violence, Self-Harm,
Rape/Non-con Elements, Breeding, Mpreg, rip my babygirl chu wanning
you a real one, is this ooc? yes, do i care? eh not really i just wanna see
my babygirl suffer, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, oh shit its getting domestic
and soft
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-01-03 Updated: 2024-01-21 Words: 12,784 Chapters:
12/?
 A Good Mother
by Hensheng

Summary

“You? Take care of the baby? Of course not, shizun!” Taxian-jun laughed, a cruel sound that
reverberated off the walls, making the infant in the bassinet wail louder. “Look at yourself,
my Chu Fei, do you truly think that you are capable of taking care of a child? A baby? You
got your own disciple killed; do you honestly think that this Venerable One would trust you
with his child? Don’t be stupid.” He brushed away one of the many tears sliding down Chu
Wanning’s cheeks.
 Chapter 1
Chapter Notes

I haven't quite decided if this will be a part of a larger series/multi-chapter work, I have
an outline and may publish more.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Chu Wanning was slumped against the mound of pillows supporting him, his face pale from
the amount of blood loss. The source of the bleeding, a tear made by the babe’s head, had
been stitched up and the bleeding stopped. Chu Wanning had fallen unconscious shortly after
his child was caught by the attending physician, who was to be dealt away with very soon.
Chu Wanning’s child had been handed off to the man who sired them. Mo Ran—no. Taxian-
jun.

Taxian-jun held the babe like they held up the sky. A firm grip was held on the squirming,
crying child, their pudgy arms reaching out. Taxian-jun didn’t bother cleaning off any of the
blood and fluids that coated the infant, who hadn’t even been swaddled before being handed
off to him.

Once the physician and midwife, along with the two young female attendants, had fled them
room, courtesy of Taxian-jun’s soul shocking glares, a weight was put into Chu Wanning’s
waiting arms. Wanning looked down in hopes to see a scrunched up, red, crying face, but was
met with the embroidery of a small, weighted pillow. He looked back up to see his baby still
in the arms of Taxian-jun.

“Mo Ran,” Chu Wanning weakly called, his voice still rough and scratched from the labour.
“My baby.” He held out his arms expectantly, waiting for the crying child to be placed there.

Taxian-jun payed his wife no mind and continued looking at the crying baby, swaddling them
and shushing them.

“No,” Chu Wanning slurred out, letting the pillow fall to the floor, and trying to get up from
the bed, the sheets below him still stained with dark blood and birth fluids. Taxian-jun tutted,
placing the wailing baby into the nearby bassinet before making his way over to Chu
Wanning.

“Ah, my Chu Fei what a mess you’ve made. You’re much too weak to be standing right now.
Come on, back to bed, you need your rest.” It’s disgustingly casual as Taxian-jun lifts Chu
Wanning back onto the bed, laying a blanket over the struggling new mother.

“My baby, need my baby, please,” He babbled, still weakly trying to reach his child, all the
while being shushed by his rapist. Taxian-jun pushed him down into the pillows.
“Oh shizun, you’re so hopeful.” He teased. Chu Wanning made a questioning noise, still
struggling to no avail.

“This Venerable One’s wife is really having a hard time understanding, isn’t he? Must be all
those drugs in your system,” A smile spread across Taxian-jun’s face, one that made unease
sink into Chu Wanning’s stomach.

“Let me care for my baby,” Chu Wanning tried to demand but it came out more like the
pleading of a bullied consort. Which it really was this time.

“You? Take care of the baby? Of course not, shizun!” Taxian-jun laughed, a cruel sound that
reverberated off the walls, making the infant in the bassinet wail louder. “Look at yourself,
my Chu Fei, do you truly think that you are capable of taking care of a child? A baby? You
got your own disciple killed; do you honestly think that this Venerable One would trust you
with his child? Don’t be stupid.” He brushed away one of the many tears sliding down Chu
Wanning’s cheeks.

“No, no, no—” Chu Wanning cut himself off, grabbing at Taxian-jun’s robes. “Please Mo
Ran,” He sobbed, his voice getting louder. “Please, they need me! See how they cry! Please,
allow me my baby, if you must take everything from me, allow me this one—” He’s cut off
by sobs as his body crumples in on itself. The bedding between the two of them is starting to
bloom a vibrant red, Chu Wanning’s stitches being torn from the stress.

Chu Wanning’s hearing goes all soft and fuzzy, the desperate screams of his baby being
drowned out by the authoritative calls for a doctor by Taxian-jun. Reaching between his legs
and feeling warm fluid, Chu Wanning brings his hand back out to the light, his last image
being that of his scarlet-soaked hand.

When Chu Wanning awoke, it was still dark out, as shown through the sheer curtains. His
head was still spinning and he reached a hand down to caress his stomach, comfort his
unborn child. But the firm swell was no longer there, the shock of it sending his memory
reeling. He remembered everything that happened before his fainting, waking up after birth,
Taxian-jun holding his baby, his child’s cries for their mother, the promise that he couldn’t
raise his own flesh and blood, everything.

Chu Wanning carefully slid out of bed, his legs shaking and the coldness of the floor sending
shivers across his body. He was thankfully left in a thin robe, not good for keeping away the
chill, but good enough to maintain his modesty, at least that was something Taxian-jun hadn’t
taken away this time.

He wobbled his way over to the bassinet, expecting to find a wriggling infant eager for their
mother’s milk and warmth. But there was nothing. No baby, no little gurgles, and hands
reaching to the heavens, nothing. Panic overtook Chu Wanning, he rushed around the room,
overturning any furniture he could find, smashing his bronze mirror, and pounding at the
door. His baby was gone. His baby needed him, and he wasn’t there. They were probably
hungry if the tightness of his chest said anything.
Chu Wanning wailed desperately for his baby, his baby who he hadn’t even held in his arms
yet. His child who he talked to constantly over the past months. His only reason for keeping
himself alive at his darkest times. He looked mournfully over at one of his broken vases, the
shards looked so very inviting. Chu Wanning stumbled over; his adrenaline had left his body
as quickly as it came. The shard of white ceramic felt overly large in his hand. He gripped the
shard as hard as he could, beads of blood turned into trails that escaped down his arm,
staining his thin robes.

After only a few minutes of squeezing the ceramic shard, he dropped it to the floor, the sobs
wracking his body, weakening Chu Wanning so much that he collapsed onto the cold floor.

He needed his baby more than he needed air, more than water, than food, than anything. His
child was his lifeblood.

Was Taxian-jun really so cruel as to harm his own child? Maybe the baby looked too much
like Chu Wanning and sparked the wrath and ire of Taxian-jun.

Chu Wanning wasn’t on the floor alone with his thoughts for long. He heard footsteps outside
the door, instantly recognizing them as Taxian-jun’s. He pushed himself up on his hip, bloody
ceramic shard in his shaking uninjured hand as a weapon.

The door swung open, the dark looming figure of Taxian-jun entered the destroyed room, a
light-coloured bundle was tucked into the crook of one arm. He looked around at the room,
his eyes sweeping over the unturned furniture and shattered ceramics before finally settling
on the figure of his beloved concubine and hated shizun, one in the same.

Chu Wanning shuddered a bit, dropping his weapon once he sees that his child is safe. He
unsteadily got on his feet, stumbling over to Taxian-jun. He reached out desperately for his
lifeline, letting out a broken, “Please,”

“It’s alright, come along, let’s get you back to bed,” Taxian-jun led his wife back to his bed,
letting him crawl into the nest of many blankets and pillows. Chu Wanning was exhausted
and whined a bit, his hand still bleeding. Taxian-jun shushed him and held out his salvation.

Chu Wanning gathered his sweet child in his arms, inhaling the child’s scent. He pulled away
the top of his robe, exposing his breast and letting his baby latch. They hungrily sucked,
curling into the warmth of their mother. Finally, Chu Wanning’s lifeline was in his arms. He
studied their face, they had their fathers nose and mouth, he guessed that they may have had
their mothers eyes, but wasn’t sure. They were perfect.

“Oh, my perfect child, my sweet baby,” Chu Wanning cooed, clutching them closer. He could
feel Taxian-jun joining the little family on the bed, his arm wrapping behind his consorts
back to support him. Chu Wanning flinched away slightly and shivered, he still didn’t want to
be touched by that man.

“My Chu Fei is doing so well, feeding our child so she can grow up strong,” Taxian-jun
planted a kiss on the mole behind Chu Wanning’s ear.

“She?” It comes out as a whisper, light as baby’s breath.

 “Yes,” Taxian-jun kisses Chu Wanning’s bare shoulder. “My noble consort has performed so
well. A princess, my Chu Fei has given this Venerable One a beautiful daughter.”

Chapter End Notes

I haven't quite decided if this will be a part of a larger series/multi-chapter work, I have
an outline and may publish more.
 Chapter 2
Chapter Notes

Un-beta'd as usual. Sorry this took so long, I ran into some issues with names and
pacing. Please tell me if there are any mistakes with grammar, spelling, and such. I very
much welcome conversations regarding plot and such. Thank you :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Xiao Xue.

Little snow. Named for the light snow that dusted the ground on her first morning. Xiao Xue
was perfect. She had ten fingers and ten toes, her eyes moved when a hand came near, and
she responded to the snaps fingers made beside her ears. She was a beautiful, healthy baby.

Chu Wanning was still lost on choosing a proper name for his daughter, but he had time and
no doubt that his husband had ideas. He liked the character ‘Ming’ for light, but Taxian-jun
would never let him pick it. It’s much too close to the past.

Chu Wanning was diligent in his and Xiao Xue’s schedule, especially regarding naps. He
spent his daughter’s nap times just looking down at her in her bassinet. Xiao Xue was all
swaddled up in soft blue cloths. Chu Wanning would sometimes dip his hand down to caress
his sweet child’s soft cheek, usually leading to Xiao Xue yawning in her sleep. He didn’t
want to go to sleep, terrified that one day, he’ll wake up and Xiao Xue will be gone. Chu
Wanning now only ever falls asleep when Taxian-jun either physically restrained him in bed,
or when he drugged him.

The next few months were the best in years. Xiao Xue had finally been given a proper name:
Mo Yuanhe. Mo Yuanhe was a bright child. She was fascinated with her own reflection in her
mother’s bronze mirror and tried to put anything in her sight in her mouth. Chu Wanning
spent his days with his now 6-month-old daughter, not needing to worry about ‘fulfilling his
wifely duties’ at night anymore. He had a baby, a good one too. She was healthy and happy,
with a warm undertone to her.

It wasn’t too far into the day before Taxian-jun came to greet his little family. Chu Wanning
had just fed Mo Yuanhe and was about to put her down for her mid-morning nap. Yuanhe
squealed when she heard her father’s booming voice, reaching out to him, wanting to be held.
Chu Wanning just bounced her a bit more to distract her, turning his body away from Taxian-
jun. This didn’t stop his husband; arms wrapped around a once-again-thin waist, a chin
placed on his shoulder. Yuanhe squealed, reaching up for her father.
“This Venerable One brings his Chu Fei exciting news.” This made Chu Wanning tense up
even more than he was before. Taxian-jun’s definition of ‘exciting news’ was never truly
‘exciting’. Chu Wanning remained silent, continuing to try and soothe his daughter back to
her previous drowsy state. Taxian-jun seemed to take his silence as an invitation to continue.

“My Chu Fei has been cleared for more ‘strenuous activities’.” Chu Wanning’s blood froze in
his veins. ‘Strenuous activities’ was such an innocent way to phrase his rape, maybe slightly
better than ‘wifely duties’.

“What?” It was cold and distant, just like Chu Wanning is with everyone, except Mo Yuanhe,
he could be never cold or distant with her.

“Is my Chu Fei’s hearing starting to go from our daughter’s screaming?” Taxian-jun reached
down to brush Yuanhe’s hair from her forehead, the child looking up at him with sleep-addled
eyes. “Aw, it seems that someone needs her nap. Has someone’s mother been depriving her of
sleep? How cruel.”

“Mo Weiyu—” Before Chu Wanning could defend himself, Yuanhe was taken into Taxian-
jun’s arms, the young princess barely stirring. Yuanhe was swiftly placed her new crib. The
young princess had only just transitioned out of her bassinet, still getting used to the larger
crib. Yuanhe only fussed for a few moments before settling.

“See how she quiets so quickly with her father.” It wasn’t a question. Chu Wanning shifted
uncomfortably, this was the first time he and Taxian-jun were properly alone after the birth,
Yuanhe not being in one of their arms.

“This Venerable One even brought a present.” Taxian-jun pulled a familiar vial from his
robes. Chu Wanning’s shoulders tensed up.

“No, no—” He tried to move backwards, only to be held around the waist by one of his
husband’s hands. Chu Wanning was held closer, a familiar hardness felt through Taxian-jun’s
robes.

“Shh, shh, Chu Fei, you’ve been so good, don’t ruin it now.”

“Don’t, not in front of A’He.” Chu Wanning begged, pressing his hands against Taxian-jun’s
chest, trying to push him away.

“Oh, don’t be so difficult, Chu Fei, A’He won’t see anything. Once you take your medicine
like a good little wife, I’ll put up a privacy screen. If my sweet wife is quiet, A’He won’t even
stir.” Taxian-jun moved them both closer to the bed before pushing Chu Wanning down and
climbing on top of him, effectively pinning him. It wasn’t long before Chu Wanning felt the
intense pressure of Taxian-jun’s fingers forcing his jaw open. Eventually relenting, the sweet
liquid of the aphrodisiac danced across his tongue and settled in the back of his throat.
Taxian-jun then clamped his hand over Chu Wanning’s mouth, trying to force him to swallow
the ‘medicine’.

“Come on, Chu Fei, can’t you be obedient for once?” Chu Wanning finally swallowed after a
few moments, maybe it was from shame, or some sick desire to be good, he didn’t truly
know. Taxian-jun moved his hand away, letting Chu Wanning sit up to cough away any
physical discomfort. His cruel husband even offered some water, which Chu Wanning
begrudgingly took, gulping down the cool river to soothe his burning throat. He was so hot,
so very hot. The warmth that the jujube-like sweetness the aphrodisiac brought was cloying,
spreading through his body like a virus, an infection.

He started panting, heavy and begging. Taxian-jun smiled almost genuinely and pressed a
hand to his consort’s cheek. The touch was starkly cold, despite the usual warmth Taxian-jun
carried in his skin.

“Is Chu Fei feeling poorly? How can this Venerable One help?” Taxian-jun was sick. He
wanted Chu Wanning to beg for his touch, for some sort of relief from this burning heat
running beneath his skin.

“Don’t let her see.” Chu Wanning begged, not quite the begging Taxian-jun was looking for.
He turned to the crib, still in plain sight.

“This Venerable One will indulge his Chu Fei just this once.” A privacy screen painted with
the scene of a crane with a chick in the tall grass and reeds beside a river. It had been
commissioned shortly after Yuanhe’s birth; ‘a fitting scene for a mother’ Taxian-jun had said.
The screen was mercifully pulled between the slumbering child and her suffering mother.

It wasn’t long before Chu Wanning found himself face down in his bedding, his robes being
ripped away from him, and a familiar hardness once again pressing against his backside.

“Mo Ran, please—please don’t do this,” He begged, squirming against the large hands
clamped down on a thin waist. The pressure on Chu Wanning’s waist forced his hips up. He
soon found one of those hands slipping under his raised hips. “N-no, don’t—”

“Don’t be like that, baobei.” Taxian-jun purred, his face much too close to Chu Wanning’s ear
than he was comfortable with. One of his hands, Chu Wanning didn’t even know which one
at this point, helped spread his bare legs apart.

“Now, I will flip you over, I want to see my shizun come apart in front of me. Will you
behave?” A hand started to dig into his waist, a painful piercing coming from blunt fingertips
on delicate skin. All Chu Wanning could do was nod. A content rumble sounded out before
his vision flipped, now finding himself on his back.

“Such a good wife I have,” Taxian-jun travelled down Chu Wanning’s bare body, which had
recovered quite nicely from the birth. He found his body betraying him by arching into the
wretched touch. A dark chuckle was all he got in response before Chu Wanning felt a soft
pillow being wedged under his hips, a small mercy.

“So eager to be bred, are we shizun?” Eyes shot open wide at that. No, no he just had a baby.
He’s still nursing A’He, he can’t get pregnant when his baby can’t even sit up without support
yet. The panic must have shown on his face, leading Taxian-jun to pat his cheek
patronizingly.
 “How cute, my Chu Fei really though his duties were finished? All that milk—” A painful
pinch to one of Chu Wanning’s nipples. “Must be clogging your brain. How stupid can you
be, shizun? One child, no matter how precious, cannot repay for the life you took.”

Chu Wanning found his thighs being forced apart and a body bullying its way between them.
Fingers dug into creamy thighs and hips, sure to leave blooming violets in their wake. He felt
his inner thighs dampen without meaning to. ‘It’s just a biological response, it doesn’t mean
anything.’ He told himself, allowing his husband to grow to full hardness between his legs.

Chu Wanning felt his folds part, a blunt head making its way inside him. He let out an
involuntary whimper before he was shushed to silence once more.

“Be quiet, baobei, you wouldn’t want to disturb our daughter’s nap, would you?” Chu
Wanning breathed in sharply through his nose, just eager to get this over with. He spread his
legs wider, urging Taxian-jun deeper.

“Desperate. How sweet you look like this, my Chu Fei.” He cooed, splaying a hand over the
soft skin of Chu Wanning’s lower stomach, right over his womb. Slow, gentle thrusts rocked
his body into a steady rhythm. The rhythm continued for a few minutes, Chu Wanning just
staring at the privacy screen, the crane cuddled close to their chick, keeping them warm.

Mo Yuanhe was never the best sleeper. Of course, she wouldn’t stay asleep for long. Her soft
cries echoed around the room, gradually getting louder until she was full on screaming. This
made Taxian-jun move faster, hoping to finish breeding his wife before he had to go back to
tending to A’He. Chu Wanning started to tear up, reaching an arm out in the direction of the
crib, towards his fussing child.

“N-no, Mo Ran, please—she needs me, she needs me, please—”

Chapter End Notes

Un-beta'd as usual. Sorry this took so long, I ran into some issues with names and
pacing. Please tell me if there are any mistakes with grammar, spelling, and such. I very
much welcome conversations regarding plot and such. Thank you :)
 Chapter 3
Chapter Notes

Unbeta’d. Unreviewed. Wishing for the best. It’s a bit shorter than usual, sorry. Thank
you for reading :))

See the end of the chapter for more notes

After Chu Wanning’s initial struggles, Taxian-jun held him down, and spread a bitter tasting
powder into the struggling consort’s gums. The powder must have been made out of some
sort of strong paralytic herbs, as it didn’t take long for Chu Wanning’s struggling to cease.

“And my Chu Fei was doing so well too. Such a shame.” Taxian-jun mocked, brushing the
tear-streaked cheeks of his unwilling wife. Chu Wanning glared at him, still too weak from
the drugs and ‘strenuous activities’ to lift himself off of the bed.

Taxian-jun stood up, now draped in his inner robes, and made his way past the painted
privacy screen, moving it out of the way so that Chu Wanning could once again see the crib
their daughter slept in. Yuanhe’s cries quieted once her father came into her line of sight. Her
round face lit up, excited giggling replacing her now soft cries.

Yuanhe reached her little hands up, practically begging to be picked up. Taxian-jun could
never refuse the babe, a rare genuine smile gracing his features as he cradled the child to his
chest. He had never really been able to hold his daughter without a fight from Chu Wanning.
A fist had made its way into Yuanhe’s mouth, the sight thawing something inside Taxian-
jun’s chest. He could hardly help himself from lifting her up and nuzzling their faces
together. The action caused Yuanhe to giggle wildly, her little hands pushing at her father’s
cheeks.

Chu Wanning watched from the bed. He had never seen Taxian-jun treat such a small thing so
gently. He always feared that Yuanhe would grow to look too similar to himself, possibly
putting her in danger of Taxian-jun’s sword. But Yuanhe looked all too similar to her father.
She had the same nose, same lips, same mischievous streak. She had really only taken after
her mother concerning her eyes and a few stray moles. Seeing the cruel Taxian-jun treat a
part of both of them like a priceless treasure hurt.

Chu Wanning tried to push himself up to a sitting position, aided by the pillows. It was a bit
difficult, the pain in his back, hips, and waist groaned in protest. Everything always hurts
after dealing with Taxian-jun. He let out a sort of whine, some primal part of his brain forcing
him to. His breasts ached, his inner clock telling him that it was time to feed Yuanhe.

Taxian-jun’s dark eyes darted over to the begging consort. A satisfied feeling fell over his
shoulders. Finally, Chu Wanning was learning his place. He continued to play with Yuanhe,
tickling her belly and smiling as the babe giggled wildly. The broken cries of Yuanhe’s
mother faded into the background, softly echoing as they surrounded the little family.

“Shizun, where would this Venerable One find a wetnurse? Maybe a woman from a local
village? Or maybe farther away? Make sure she’s never heard of any of this. What do you
think?” Taxian-jun didn’t even look at Chu Wanning, his gaze remaining soft and gentle, still
focused on their child.

“You beast! Give her back to me!” Chu Wanning made his way to his feet, still unsteady and
trembling. “You know nothing of being a parent! All you do is hurt the good and innocent!”

Taxian-jun raised an eyebrow, an amused smile dancing its way across his face. He placed a
fussing Yuanhe back in her crib, pacifying her with a trinket from his sleeve. He made his
way over to Chu Wanning in a few long strides, a strong hand quickly gripping the consort’s
delicate neck. Taxian-jun didn’t press too hard, just enough to cut off some oxygen and leave
lovely bruises for days afterward.

“I don’t know anything about being a parent? Oh, but you must remind me, shizun, who was
it that got their disciple killed?” There was a moment of silence where the tears Chu Wanning
was holding back finally fell. “Well? Who was it?” Taxian-jun squeezed harder. Chu
Wanning held back a sob.

“Me.” He mumbled; his throat being constricted prevented him from speaking any louder.

“Let A’He hear you, she should learn of her whore of a mother’s sins.”

“Me.” He said a touch louder.

“Her ears are so small, I don’t believe she can hear you, Chu Fei.”

“Me! It was my fault!” Chu Wanning almost fell forward into Taxian-jun from the violent
sobs that wracked his still frail body, the only thing still keeping him in place was the deadly
grip still on his neck.

“Oh, so well behaved.” Taxian-jun cooed, moving his strong hand away from Chu Wanning’s
neck, instead placing a steadying grip on a thin shoulder.

“Don’t send her away.” Chu Wanning begged through sobs, tears streaming down pale
cheeks. “She needs me, a wetnurse couldn’t care for her the way I do.”

“Oh, don’t be silly. I was only joking, Chu Fei. Can’t you learn to take a joke? Do you truly
believe that I would allow some random village woman to see such a perfect child?” Taxian-
jun led Chu Wanning to the bed, helping to ease him down into the soft bedding. After
settling his wife, Yuanhe was swiftly fetched from her crib. Chu Wanning desperately
clutched his baby close to his chest, moving aside his robes to allow Yuanhe to nurse.

Chu Wanning’s tear-filled eyes glared at Taxian-jun. One hand supported Yuanhe’s body,
while the other supported her head, pressing it closer to his milk-swollen breast. Yuanhe paid
no mind to the obvious tension in the air. She was only focused on one thing: milk. The poor
 thing was hungry. When she finally latched, Yuanhe encountered a new problem: boredom.
This was fixed by strands of something dark and long falling into her field of vision. She
grasped the strands with all the might a six-month-old had. She found that pulling on the
strands always brought her mother’s attention.

Chu Wanning tore his sharp glare away from Taxian-jun in favour of lovingly gazing at
Yuanhe. His baby, who could only feed from him. His baby, who looks so much like her
father. His baby, not Taxian-jun’s. Not Mo Ran’s.

Taxian-jun watches his Chu Fei feed their child. It’s the only time he ever sees Chu Wanning
look at peace. Even at night, when Chu Wanning is fast asleep, he looks troubled. His frail
body was curled up in a ball and his brows knitted together in worry. Nowadays, he was used
to seeing Chu Wanning with tears in his eyes, whether they come from pain, anger, or sorrow.
He was hardly violent anymore, simply resigning himself to his fate, only getting passionate
when their precious child was involved.

When Yuanhe was involved, Chu Wanning would cry and beg, even clawing and biting at
Taxian-jun in the early months of her life. He had since learned, the bruises of his
punishments had faded long ago, but their lessons had lasted.

Taxian-jun had noticed that he would get a bit lightheaded, and his robes seemed to get
tighter whenever his Chu Fei acted like this. Chu Wanning had acted like a feral cat
protecting his kitten and Taxian-jun had to remind him of his place. Even if the poor thing
looked so pitiful afterward.

Looking at mother and child, Taxian-jun wanted to be crueller, to bring out that miserable
desperation even more.

There was something stirring in his mind: he’s doing this all for his Chu Fei. He isn’t sure
why or how he knows this but there’s this deep feeling in his bones, a certainty that all his
cruelty is for Chu Wanning.

Maybe this is just what being a parent was like, wanting to protect his wife and child. Maybe
playing with his wife was just his duty as a husband. Making his wife feel like the favourite
toy of an out of touch child, or a child having their hair pulled by another, attempting to show
their affection.

Chapter End Notes

Unbeta’d. Unreviewed. Wishing for the best. It’s a bit shorter than usual, sorry. Thank
you for reading :))
 Chapter 4
Chapter Notes

*deletes implied mpreg tag*

A bit shorter than usual, sorry in advance. I just wanna see my baby girl suffer :)))

Comments very much welcomed!! I adore any comments I receive :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Yuanhe was definitely the cutest baby that Chu Wanning had ever seen. Not that he had seen
many. But even if he had, his A’He would still be the cutest. Her current favourite activity
was finding two of her toys which would make the loudest noise and bang them together. The
sound was horrendous but the uncontrollable laughter of the now 9-month-old made Chu
Wanning bear it for her. She was an expressive little thing, especially when Chu Wanning
would hide his face with his hands and then pull them away, resulting in even more
boisterous laughter.

Yuanhe was happily nursing when he realised. Chu Wanning had just pulled a few strands of
hair from A’He’s deceptively strong hands when he felt it: a faint fluttering. It felt almost like
a butterfly’s wings, like the ones in the gardens. A sinking feeling washed over him. Chu
Wanning reached a shaking hand over his womb to search for any indication of a baby being
present.

Oh.

Oh, there was indeed something there. Nothing very significant, but his lower stomach is
slightly distended and firm. Hot tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to spill down pale
cheeks. Were they from the fear of having another child? A child of Taxian-jun’s? What if
this child looked more like Chu Wanning? What would happen to them? Or maybe it was joy.
He still remembered the joy he felt when A’He was first in his arms, nothing else had
mattered then. His daughter was his everything. Maybe he’d feel the same with another.

While stuck in his thoughts, Chu Wanning must have moved too much, dislodging A’He’s
latch. She gave the most annoyed look a baby could give before guiding her way back to her
mother’s nipple.

Either way, Taxian-jun can’t know about this child yet.

Taxian-jun had lost count of how many times he had put Chu Wanning in this position. Once
again dosed with an aphrodisiac and placed on his back, ready to be bred like a bitch in heat.
 ‘Better for conception.’ He had said. He always said that Chu Wanning looked prettier like
this, more desperate than usual.

The air was hot and heavy around them, the scent of sex permeating through it. Taxian-jun’s
grunts paired with Chu Wanning’s soft cries echoed. Rough hands would card through dark
tresses, occasionally tugging to pull a whine from the recipient. Chu Wanning was barely
coherent at this point, the only intelligible words coming out were a mix of ‘stop please’ and
‘more, need more’ said between gasps and thrusts.

Taxian-jun adored his Chu Fei’s waist. It had returned to its previous slimness a few months
after A’He was born, courtesy of a lack of appetite at points and Chu Fei’s general sickliness,
as well as cultivation intervention on Taxian-jun’s part. As much as he loved seeing how his
wife’s body held their daughter, he missed being able to encircle him as easily.

Taxian-jun felt Chu Wanning tighten around him, his thighs shake, and his moans pitch a bit
higher. At his consort’s climax, Taxian-jun sped up, pressing a strong hand down above his
Chu Fei’s womb. There was the hope that maybe he could feel himself through the layers of
skin, muscle, and fat, all in vain sadly. He still loved the softness that came with Chu
Wanning’s skin, pliancy too, so very easy to press down on and bruise. But instead of familiar
soft skin, Taxian-jun felt firm, tight skin pulled across his consort’s stomach.

His thrusts paused. That can’t be right. He leaned back onto his heels and sat up, bringing his
other hand down to confirm his suspicions. His Chu Fei was most certainly with child, not
that the poor thing was conscious enough to notice. A wide grin spread across Taxian-jun’s
face. In his excitement, he continued his previous wild thrusting, knowing how thoroughly he
bred his wife spurring him on. After a few moments, he finally finished, pulling out from
between plush thighs, leaving a trail of white. Taxian-jun scowled at this, using two fingers,
he pushed some of the escaped cum back into Chu Wanning’s hole. He leaned down and
pressed a chaste kiss to the stretched skin over Chu Wanning’s womb.

“My Chu Fei has done so well, giving this Venerable One another heir, another sweet child.”

Chu Wanning didn’t even move when Taxian-jun came over with Yuanhe in his arms,
offering the sleeping child to him. But Chu Wanning just stared at the ceiling, shivering. His
nose hurt from trying to hold back tears. Yuanhe was placed back in her crib, now off in an
adjacent room still connected to his quarters. Chu Wanning didn’t protest when Taxian-jun
climbed into bed with him. He didn’t protest when soft furs and blankets were pulled over
him. He didn’t protest when Taxian-jun gathered him in his arms, like a precious piece of
porcelain, in an attempt to comfort the shell-shocked mother.

Chapter End Notes

*deletes implied mpreg tag*

A bit shorter than usual, sorry in advance. I just wanna see my baby girl suffer :)))

Comments very much welcomed!! I adore any comments I receive :)

 Chapter 5
Chapter Notes

Unbeta'd as usual.
I wanted to use the formal huangfu 皇父 or fuhuang 父皇 which was what children of
emperors would call them during the Qing Dynasty. Or maybe the more formal fuqin but
I ultimately settled for diedie because I'm weak lol.
Once again, thank you all for reading this. I love and cherish all the comments I receive!
Thank you all for reading!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Yuanhe was now 14-months-old. Her vocabulary seemed to grow every day, ‘dog’ being one
of her current favourite words. She had a habit of clapping her hands together in joy. A’He
loved to sit in her mother’s lap, the many layers of robes cushioning her seat. A’He didn’t
really understand that she would get a younger sibling within the next few months. Chu
Wanning would press her hands to his swollen baby bump, repeating the phrase ‘meimei’ to
her. He had a feeling this next one would be a girl as well, call it mother’s intuition. At some
point A’He started associating his baby bump with the term ‘meimei’, even though Wanning
was almost positive she didn’t actually understand the meaning. She used the same tone and
cadence to say ‘mei’ and pat her mother’s bump than she used to say ‘ba’ and try to throw her
little toddler-sized ball.

Chu Wanning had sat A’He in his lap once again. His handsome face breaking into a smile
whenever he was with A’He. The toddler somehow knew how to get him to smile even on his
darker days. A’He was currently fiddling with a stuffed dog, one affectionately named ‘dog!’.

Wanning noticed that his baby seemed to be more active than usual, their kicks being what
woke him up that morning. Well, that and A’He climbing out of her crib after a nightmare to
join her mother in his bed.

“A’He,” Chu Wanning brushed his daughter’s hair back from her forehead. “Do you want to
feel your meimei?” A’He’s little face broke into a wide grin, letting out little ‘ya!’s while
turning herself to face her mother.

“Now, don’t press, just place your hands here,” He gently placed her tiny hands over his baby
bump, right over where the baby was mainly targeting their kicks. It had only taken a few
moments for the baby to kick again, sending A’He into a fit of giggles and hand clapping.
Chu Wanning smiled at her, bringing the toddler closer for a hug.

“Mama, no!” A’He half-whined half-laughed, pushing against her mother.

“’Mama, no?’ Why ‘mama, no?’” Chu Wanning could hear his smile through his words.
A’He grabbed her discarded stuffed dog and pressed it to her mother’s chest.

“Dog!” She demanded.

“You want me to give Dog a hug?” He tried; a bit unsure of what was being demanded of him
by the young princess. A’He nodded and smiled, clapping once Chu Wanning obeyed and
hugged the stuffed dog.

Mother and child were soon interrupted by an unwelcome visitor.

“Diedie!” Well, half-unwelcomed. A’He toddled over to her father, who swiftly lifted the
child, resulting in loud squeals and giggles.

“How is this Venerable One’s lovely child?” Taxian-jun acted as if he was asking A’He the
question. A’He buried herself in her father’s robes, murmuring something that sounded
vaguely like ‘good’. He turned to Chu Wanning. “Well?”

“She had some peach for her morning meal, her stomach was a bit off, so it was light.” Chu
Wanning remained on the ground, still not used to his new centre of gravity.

“A’He must see the physician.” Taxian-jun was about to run off with A’He still in his arms.

“Wait!” Chu Wanning’s voice was raised and panicked, still nervous about being separated
from his daughter. Since A’He wasn’t dependent on his milk anymore, she didn’t need to
constantly be around him anymore. This raised the possibility that A’He would be taken away
from him. Wanning’s urgency made Taxian-jun pause, turning back to face his shizun.

“What.” He snapped. “Would you rather our daughter succumb to her illness?” Never mind
the fact that A’He was perfectly healthy, her little stomach was just thrown off by a small
nightmare she had the night before. Chu Wanning tried to rise to his feet, struggling a bit
along the way before finally standing up straight.

“A’He’s fine, she only had a nightmare.” He explained, straightening out and dusting off his
robes.

“And? What did you do to prevent it?” Taxian-jun demanded, bouncing A’He in his arms,
who was currently babbling to her stuffed dog.

“Prevent it? It’s a nightmare. There’s nothing I can do to prevent it.” Wanning crossed his
arms across his chest. “She came into my bed afterwards, so I cuddled her. I only knew she
felt sick when she spat up some of her peach.”

“You are her mother. It’s your job to make sure she doesn’t fall ill.” Taxian-jun’s words bit
like a viper. He readjusted A’He in his arms, the toddler babbling happily and burying her
face into his shoulder.

The tension in the room was worryingly thick. Even A’He was starting to get uncomfortable,
squirming and whining lowly. As much as Chu Wanning wanted to take his daughter into his
arms and comfort her, he couldn’t.
 “The young princess needs fresh air,”

And so, the family of three found themselves in a private garden. It was springtime, the
flowers blooming gracefully. The haitang blossoms had started to bloom earlier than usual.
Chu Wanning sat stiff and upright on the garden bench, A’He tugging at his robes, trying to
get her mother to play with her.

Chu Wanning preferred to play with his daughter in private, as to not risk letting down any of
his guard around Taxian-jun, lest he exploit it.

“Mama! P’ay!” A’He demanded, stomping her little foot, and puffing out her chubby cheeks.
She looked just like the spoiled princess she was. Wanning smiled softly at her. He realised
that he had to show that he was in fact a good mother. An attentive one who played with his
daughter and took care of her. A quick glance towards Taxian-jun showed his harsh gaze,
ready to pass judgement on anybody within sight. A nervous lick of his lips and Chu
Wanning was back to looking at A’He.

“What do you want to play, darling girl?”

Taxian-jun watched as his wife and child knelt close to the pond. Chu Wanning’s arms
wrapped around A’He to make sure she didn’t slip into the water. A’He’s stuffed dog was left
on the bench by Taxian’jun’s side to make sure it didn’t get wet and ruined. A’He was
nodding diligently as her mother explained all the different flowers around them. He couldn’t
seem to take his eyes off of Chu Wanning’s carefree expression. It wasn’t like he was all
smiles and laughter. No, it was more like an unfurrowing of eyebrows and tension leaving his
shoulders. A small soft smile graced his handsome features. It was a rare sight. His shizun
had never shown him this smile.

Chapter End Notes

Unbeta'd as usual.
I wanted to use the formal huangfu 皇父 or fuhuang 父皇 which was what children of
emperors would call them during the Qing Dynasty. Or maybe the more formal fuqin but
I ultimately settled for diedie because I'm weak lol.
Once again, thank you all for reading this. I love and cherish all the comments I receive!
Thank you all for reading!
 Chapter 6
Chapter Notes

Format might be a bit weird, tried out something new. Also sorry it's short, I've been
pretty busy lately :(

Un-beta'd as usual.

Once again, thank you so much for reading, I adore you all.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“Diedie,” A’He whined into her mother’s shoulder, clearly no longer interested in learning
about the flowers around the pond. Her beloved stuffed dog was left behind on the bench,
next to her father. And with nothing to do with her hands, A’He started to fuss. She continued
whining into Chu Wanning’s shoulder, stamping her little feet on the grass below her.

“You want to go see Diedie?” A’He nodded into Wanning’s shoulder. “Ok, go show Diedie
how fast A’He is,” Chu Wanning encouraged the toddler, hoping it would cheer her up. She
was a very fast child, always running around her mother’s chambers and making him chase
after her. Chu Wanning felt a small phantom pain in his back at the memory.

A’He, ever the determined girl, lifted her face from the pristine white robes, her chubby
cheeks having a faint red glow disrupted by the wide smile that broke across her face. She
looked back and forth between her Mama and her Diedie, almost like she was asking for
permission. But of course, the little princess didn’t need any sort of permission to run to her
father. Chu Wanning gave her a ‘go on’ motion with his hands, urging her forward. A’He
gave a little nod and took off towards Taxian-jun, not bothering to lift her robes to stop from
tripping.

Sadly, this mistake would be the little one’s downfall. Literally. Within a few short seconds,
A’He was sent crashing into the grass beneath her, a loud cry being let out. Usually, when
A’He tripped, she would get right back up again, a little tumble never hurt her spirits. But this
fall was sudden and frightened her more than hurt her. From opposite sides of the garden,
both parents came rushing to the toddler.

Taxian-jun hesitated once he reached A’He, allowing for Chu Wanning to gather his daughter
in his arms. A’He sobbed into her mother’s robes, allowing him to shush her and rub her back
comfortingly.

“Mama, no!” She sobbed out. “Want Diedie!”

Wanning stopped his back rubbing and shushing. Sure, he wasn’t the best at comforting
 children, but A’He was his own flesh and blood. Even Taxian-jun seemed shocked before
swiftly recovering and taking a very upset A’He from his wife’s now limp arms.

“Diedie!” The toddler wailed, hot tears slipping down her cheeks. “Hurts!”

“Diedie knows,” Taxian-jun was soft in his speech, hesitantly rocking a bit to settle A’He.
“Where does A’He hurt?” She tried to pull up her light purple robes, allowing Taxian-jun to
help her a bit, revealing a very red and dirt covered knee. No blood, thankfully. Chu Wanning
had to remain in front of Taxian-jun comforting their daughter while a shaking maid was
called forward. The poor thing could barely stay standing before being sent off to fetch a
basin of warm water and a soft cloth to clean A’He’s knee.

“Diedie, want Dog,” A’He mumbled through her tears. Sadly, the stuffed animal was left on
the bench much too far away to simply lean over and grab. Wanning was about to stand to
fetch it before being stopped.

“Stay.” Was ordered before A’He was pushed into his arms, the sticky girl quickly burying
her face in Wanning’s neck. Taxian-jun quickly made his way back over to the bench,
grabbing A’He’s stuffed dog before returning. He was soon followed by the same trembling
maid, now with a basin and cloth in hand. She placed the basin over a separate, more coarse
cloth, and handed the soft cloth to Taxian-jun, being swiftly dismissed after.

“A’He, hug your dog for Diedie,” He gave a look to Chu Wanning, silently telling him to
prepare to comfort their daughter. A’He, ever the daddy’s girl, hugged Dog tighter to her little
body, curling into her mother’s baby bump as a source of comfort.

Taxian-jun dipped the soft cloth into the water basin, soaking it in warmth. Once thoroughly
drowned, the cloth was lifted out, water still dripping from it, and wrung out. It was a
practised motion, one Wanning used to see often in years past. He missed Mo Ran’s smiles.
He missed him teasing Xue Meng and his smiles toward Shi Mei. He missed those days. But
they were long gone now. All that’s left is the cruel Taxian-jun.

Although, looking down at the emperor now, kneeling in the grass and wiping away the dirt
from their sobbing daughter’s knee, he didn’t seem so cruel.

Chapter End Notes

Format might be a bit weird, tried out something new. Also sorry it's short, I've been
pretty busy lately :(

Un-beta'd as usual.

Once again, thank you so much for reading, I adore you all.
 Chapter 7
Chapter Notes

Quick short chapter to prepare for the next one (or few, haven't quite decided how long
it will be)
I wanted something somewhat soft for a change before my next plan
Thank you all very much for reading and commenting, it truly makes my day <333

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The past few weeks had been fine. Just fine. Taxian-jun had been more involved with A’He,
not bothering Chu Wanning except to look longingly at his swollen baby bump. He wanted so
desperately to reach out and feel their child.

The only hiccup they had was an incident earlier that week. Chu Wanning had entered A’He’s
rooms to wake her for the day only to find Taxian-jun dwelling in the nursery. His arms were
empty and A’He was nowhere to be found. Chu Wanning had rushed his former disciple, as
fast as he could with the extra weight of the not-yet-here baby. Taxian-jun grabbed the
delicate wrist of his wife and kept him from hitting his face.

“Where is she?” Chu Wanning growled, trying to free his hand from the vice grip. Taxian-jun
gave a little smirk, one that may have looked mischievous had it been different
circumstances.

“Don’t be hysterical, Chu Fei, our daughter is safe, I can assure you,” It was purposely
evasive, Chu Wanning knew that. He had the ability to be patient, just not when his missing
toddler is involved.

“Safe where?” The question was demanding an answer. Taxian-jun was purposely using a
calm, steady voice to paint himself as the reasonable one, even without an audience.

“That’s not for you to worry about, shizun. Now go lay back down, you’re much too stressed.
It’s not good for the baby,” Taxian-jun let his free hand trail down to the baby bump between
them, placing a strong warm hand on it. Chu Wanning restarted his struggling, Taxian-jun
eventually allowing him to free his now bruised wrist.

Chu Wanning didn’t say anything as he turned swiftly and rushed back to his room, fear
coursing through his veins. He was tired of this. His daughter didn’t deserve this. Wherever
she was, he was sure she wanted to return to her mother. His baby didn’t deserve to be taken
away right after they were born. Chu Wanning was sure that history would repeat itself with
that.

He looked around his room, searching for anything that could be used as a weapon. A hairpin
sat next to his bronze mirror. The hairpin was one of the gifts he had been given for his
wedding years prior. It wasn’t gaudy or tasteless. It was surprisingly simple, made of gold
twisted into the shape of a haitang tree branch, with delicate pearls acting as the blossoms.
Snatching up the pretty thing, Chu Wanning held it like a dagger. He knew it would be no
use, but he could never forgive himself if he didn’t try.

He counted steady breaths while he hid next to the doorway where Taxian-jun would exit,
hairpin held ready to strike. He heard Taxian-jun start to make his way closer, tightening his
grip on the thin hairpin.

Chu Wanning felt himself be grabbed before he saw anything. He hadn’t even gotten the
chance to attack before he was already subdued. His poor, already bruised, wrist was gripped
so tightly that the hairpin fell to the floor with a soft clink.

“What are you doing, wife?” Came a dark teasing tone. Chu Wanning struggled even harder
than before, feeling overtaken by the anger of his daughter once again being taken from him.
Tears pricked at his eyes and strained his voice.

“You beast! Give her back!” Chu Wanning beat his fists at Taxian-jun’s chest in a futile
attempt to be released. Taxian-jun simply gave a disappointed sigh and gathered the now
sobbing Chu Wanning into his arms. The hits had gotten steadily weaker, and the demands
devolved into pleas, then into sobbing. When Chu Wanning had finally stopped his hitting, he
allowed Taxian-jun to hold him and pet his hair.

The two just stood there for a while. Neither knew quite how long exactly. Chu Wanning
found himself exhausted from his anger and frustration. Taxian-jun had never held his wife –
his shizun – so gently before, maybe the night A’He was born, but even then. Their daughter
had softened him somewhat.

“Come on, Wanning, let's get you to bed,” Chu Wanning barely felt himself being led to his
bed. He melted into the soft sheets, allowing Taxian-jun to tuck a blanket around him.
Taxian-jun sat next to Chu Wanning, brushing his hair away from his neck so it wouldn’t
bother him during his sleep. He gave a regretful sigh before going to stand, only being
stopped by fingers wrapping around his wrist.

“A’He,” Chu Wanning mumbled out, tears still bleeding through his words. “Where is she?
Make sure she’s safe,”

Taxian-jun hesitated for a moment, Chu Wanning looked exhausted and stressed, his eye bags
had gotten much darker recently.

“She’s just at the tailors getting some new robes,” Taxian-jun pressed a chaste kiss to Chu
Wanning’s forehead. “You’ve done well,” He choked on the words a bit. “She’s growing up
thanks to your hard work.”

“I did good?” Taxian-jun felt his heart break, deciding to press another kiss, this time to the
swell of their child.

“You did good.”

Chapter End Notes

Quick short chapter to prepare for the next one (or few, haven't quite decided how long
it will be)
I wanted something somewhat soft for a change before my next plan
Thank you all very much for reading and commenting, it truly makes my day <333
 Chapter 8
Chapter Notes

Am I dragging this out? Maybe

Also, two chapters in two days?? I've been consumed by angst. It's just gonna get worse
from here. I figured I'd break stuff up because I want my chapter lengths to be somewhat
consistent.
Once again, thank you all so much for reading and commenting, I adore you all <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Light filtered through the sheer white curtains that lined the windows. It turned into a pretty
yellow, a perfect sun spot for a cat to curl up in. Chu Wanning wanted so badly to curl up in
the warm sunlight.

But instead he remained in bed, cradling his still-swollen stomach. A’He had climbed out of
her crib and stood by the edge of the bed, trying to get her mother’s attention. Chu Wanning
couldn’t even hear his daughter, his hearing was fuzzy, same with his mind.

A’He’s face was unusually red, only getting that dark when she’s truly upset. He wanted to
open his arms and hold his baby girl in them but he was just too tired. Chu Wanning could
barely lift his head up, much less open his arms for a cuddle. Poor A’He was still in her sleep
robes too, still too little to get dressed on her own.

His eyes barely shifted when another figure came into his line of sight. Taxian-jun. Please not
now. Chu Wanning was exhausted, he couldn’t deal with the stress of Taxian-jun. He could
hear faint calls of his name before his shoulder was roughly shaken.

“Get up.” Despite the demand, the tone Taxian-jun used was oddly gentle. Chu Wanning
refused to tear his eyes away from the sun spot near the windows. “I said, get up. It’s not
good for the baby for you to be laying in bed all day like an invalid.”

“No baby anymore,” Chu Wanning mumbled numbly, his voice scratchy and small.

“What—” Taxian-jun could barely get out before a tugging on his robes distracted him. A’He
was crying, her little face still a worrying shade of red. Chu Wanning could barely understand
her cries but they boiled down to something along the lines of ‘Mama was weird all night,’
and that A’He got no proper wakeup from him. It was incredibly unusual for Chu Wanning to
stray from his routine, it made sense that it disturbed A’He when it was interrupted.

“Wanning,” Taxian-jun said slowly, swallowing and allowing their daughter to cry into his
robes, rubbing her back to comfort her. “Wanning, what do you mean there’s no baby
anymore?”
 It took a great amount of effort for Chu Wanning to look at Taxian-jun, who had a worried
look on his face. He hadn’t seen that expression since Mo Ran was his disciple. He missed
Mo Ran’s joking nature, at least better-natured jokes.

“Wanning.” Chu Wanning sighed heavily, turning his face towards Taxian-jun. His eyes were
glassy and red rimmed.

“There’s no baby.”

Chu Wanning felt his head fall back again. His eyes remained open and seeing but the sound
around him got fuzzy again. He could faintly hear Taxian-jun’s calls for a physician and
A’He’s cries.

A maid had taken A’He back to her room, making sure she didn’t see anything. The physician
was surely on his way, clear commotion could be heard outside his door.

Taxian-jun ripped the blanket Chu Wanning was curled up in away. Involuntarily whining at
the cold that rushed across him, he curled further around his stomach.

Taxian-jun audibly gagged when Chu Wanning was revealed. A man who killed without
mercy, who’d ordered brutal slayings upon his enemies, gagged at the sight of blood coating
his wife’s thighs. Taxian-jun had seen blood on Chu Wanning’s thighs many times before;
during the birth of their daughter, during particularly rough nights, especially in the earlier
times of their marriage.

But this felt different. There was something clearly wrong here, and with Chu Wanning
saying, ‘no baby anymore’? Taxian-jun feared that it wasn’t just blood.

“What have you done,” He gagged again. “Do you truly not care!?” Chu Wanning barely
flinched at that, only continuing to shiver. “You neglected to take care no matter how many
times this Venerable One ordered! Your hate has killed this child!”

Chapter End Notes

Am I dragging this out? Maybe

Also, two chapters in two days?? I've been consumed by angst. It's just gonna get worse
from here. I figured I'd break stuff up because I want my chapter lengths to be somewhat
consistent.
Once again, thank you all so much for reading and commenting, I adore you all <3
 Chapter 9
Chapter Notes

Hi again!
Three chapters in three days! Once again, short. I try to keep my chapters short because
it allows me to publish them a little more frequently.
This group of chapters in a close subject for me and I'm trying to show it in a way that I
experienced it, and in a way that doesn't come off as disrespectful.
Still un-beta'd.
I thank you all for reading, and all your comments.
Have a lovely day y'all!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Taxian-jun’s yelling was distant, Chu Wanning’s hearing still fuzzy. He could hear him
screaming at the servants for not getting medical attention earlier. What? Taxian-jun had
never allowed servants inside his quarters, not even the youngest maid, except maybe for
medical reasons.

But no one was sent for, Chu Wanning was much too ill to call out. Chu Wanning barely
remembered the night. He remembered a horrible cramping and felt like his body was going
through labour. Much of the night was a blur, but he somehow ended up in his bed at the end
of the night, still not knowing if he fell asleep or not.

The yelling flared up again, making Chu Wanning’s head pound. Taxian-jun knew that it
wasn’t any servants fault, he should just let it go and let Chu Wanning rest, he was just so
tired.

Chu Wanning was barely lucid while he was forced into labour. Taxian-jun had originally
protested but the physician had said that if the remains of their baby stayed, Chu Wanning
would surely die. He could still feel the pain, screaming and whimpering like a wild animal
while the physician helped him along.

The lack of a cry paired with the clear form of a baby, their baby, was all too much. Chu
Wanning felt sick and dry heaved over the side of the bed, a comforting hand rubbing his
shaking back.

Their baby was wrapped in a soft yellow blanket, looking almost like they were sleeping.
When Chu Wanning recovered from his sick, he was sat up, supported on pillows, and
 heartbreakingly familiar to when he had A’He. The physician’s assistant held their baby in his
arms, resisting the instinct to look down at the child.

Chu Wanning felt his fingers twitch, letting out a broken “Please,”

The physician and his assistant looked to Taxian-jun for confirmation. Taxian-jun was
unusually vulnerable, simply nodding in approval, his eyes glassy and distant. The assistant’s
steps were loud in the silent room, passing the delicate bundle to the waiting mother once he
stepped closer, immediately backing off once the bundle was safely in Chu Wanning’s arms.

Oh.

Looking back at him was the peaceful face of his former disciple. Their baby was the spitting
image of Mo Ran, right down to having naturally upturned lip corners, making it seem like
they were always smiling. And Chu Wanning was willing to bet that if their baby was given
the opportunity to grow up, they’d have adorable dimples on their cheeks, just like their
father.

“It’s a girl,” Taxian-jun’s rough voice broke the silence. He sat on the edge of the bed,
mindful of not getting too close.

“I guessed,” Chu Wanning had been right. From the beginning he felt that he would have
another girl, call it mother’s intuition. “She looks like you, Mo Ran,”

It had been a while since Chu Wanning had used Mo Ran’s name, either not addressing him
by name or using ‘Mo Weiyu’. Taxian-jun decided not to address it, instead leaning closer to
get a better look at their child.

“She’s,” Taxian-jun paused for a moment, trying to think of the right words to say. “Smaller
than A’He,” The two were almost frightened of mentioning the elephant in the room: their
baby was dead, she would never grow up, never laugh, never get to play with her jiejie.

“She is, isn’t she,” Chu Wanning wobbled a bit, still dizzy from blood loss, not to mention
the hands that were inside him not too long ago to help things along. The two sat in silence,
the physician and his assistant slipping out at some point, just admiring their daughter. She
looked peaceful, like she was asleep. It reminded Chu Wanning of when A’He was younger
and would get milk drunk. She would slump in her mother’s arms and fall sound asleep.
Maybe if they forgot the world around them, they could imagine something similar.

“This Venerable One—” Taxian-jun cut himself off. “I could, um, preserve her. Then she
could always be with us,” It was a kind offer, one that would allow them to keep their baby
forever.

“No,” Chu Wanning readjusted the bundle that held their baby in his shaky arms. “She
deserves to be at peace.”

Chapter End Notes

Hi again!
Three chapters in three days! Once again, short. I try to keep my chapters short because
it allows me to publish them a little more frequently.
This group of chapters in a close subject for me and I'm trying to show it in a way that I
experienced it, and in a way that doesn't come off as disrespectful.
Still un-beta'd.
I thank you all for reading, and all your comments.
Have a lovely day y'all!
 Chapter 10
Chapter Notes

Aha, it's been awhile!

So sorry for the hiatus. The past few chapters have been very difficult for me to write.
It's a kind of raw and personal thing that I struggle to process. When I started writing
this fic, it wasn't necessarily going to include this. But after some thinking I decided to.
It's a good way for me to process my personal experience while also coming to better
terms with it.
I've also just been really busy! First, I was punched at pride :(( and I've been going
through with pursuing the assault. Second, I got fired from my job a few days ago, very
suddenly and without warning. So, yeah, it's been kinda of rough lmao :/
But I feel great! And I finally got the energy and motivation to finish up this chapter, as
short as it may be.
So, once again, this is not beta'd, please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors, and
please be kind :) I adore comments and Constructive criticism. Thank you all so very
much for reading. Sorry in advance if this is OOC, but it was listed in the tags lmao :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The bathtub was filled with warm water, medicinal herbs being mixed in and forming a sudsy
film over the top. Chu Wanning’s pale form was awake but unresponsive, his head resting on
his folded arms atop the edge. It would look almost picturesque if it weren’t for the
circumstances.

Taxian-jun’s sleeves were tied back, allowing him to reach under the water with a soft cloth,
gently cleaning Chu Wanning’s bloody thighs. A nearby maid had offered to clean him up but
Taxian-jun quickly put a stop to her thinking. Nobody else would be allowed to see his wife,
his shizun, much less in this state. Chu Wanning was unresponsive and refusing to look up at
Taxian-jun, despite his questions getting more and more demanding. He could feel himself
getting angrier. How dare Wanning ignore him after this stunt. This was all his fault. He
gladly made his opinions vocal, he can’t have his shizun believe he’s getting away with this.
After telling him over and over again to take better care of himself, he lets their child die in
his womb? It was unacceptable.

Chu Wanning sniffled before gripping Taxian-jun’s hand that laid on the edge of the bathtub.
It was a desperate kind of clutch, one that was sadly weakened more than usual. Chu
Wanning leaned over towards his husband, finally allowing tears to prick as his eyes and fall
onto his cheeks. His body crumpled, his shoulders and back shaking so violently it was
starting to get worrisome. Quiet little “‘m ‘sorry’s” could be made out between the sobs.
Taxian-jun’s hesitant hand came up from below the water to awkwardly pet Chu Wanning’s
wet hair.
 “I’m sorry,” The sob was muffled by Taxian-jun’s tear-dampened robes, “I’m sorry, it’s my
fault,” It was a sad, broken thing to hear. Taxian-jun, Mo Ran, couldn’t find it in himself to
agree, he just wraps both arms around Chu Wanning, letting him sob into his chest. The front
of his robes were soaked through, not only from tears but bathwater as well. Mo Ran didn’t
care at that moment, deciding only to gently rock himself and his wife side to side slightly,
just enough to help soothe him.

Mo Ran didn’t know how long it had been since Chu Wanning had collapsed into his chest,
but the water had long since gone cold. The sobs had quieted and the shaking had stopped,
just pitiful sniffles and the occasional shiver escaped Chu Wanning now. Moving his wife’s
face away from his chest showed that he had run out of tears. Mo Ran found himself brushing
his thumb under one of Chu Wanning’s eyes, wiping away some of the dampness left behind.

He wordlessly lifted his shivering wife up before wrapping him in a fluffy towel. They made
their way back to the bed, which had been cleaned thoroughly to remove any trace of blood
or viscera. Attempting to get Chu Wanning to even sit on the bed proved to be a challenge.
His distress only seemed to return and he oddly clung to Mo Ran instead of refusing to look
at what offended him. Of course, this was an extremely delicate matter. Why would he want
to lay down in the bed where a tragedy had just taken place? Mo Ran’s head started to hurt, it
was like it couldn’t decide whether to feel sympathy for Chu Wanning or to blame him.

Chu Wanning found himself being brought to a bed clearly not belonging to himself. It was
better than his own nonetheless, he’d rather sleep in the dirt than go back there right now. The
bedding was a dark blue and incredibly welcoming. He curled into it almost instantly, the
familiar smell that seemed infused into it was comforting. The soft silks felt wonderful on his
skin.

He didn’t get the chance to lay down for any longer before a warm cup of tea was being
pushed into his hands by Mo Ran. He took a cautionary sniff, making sure there wasn’t any
sort of pungent poison put in the cup. He couldn’t quite identify what type of tea it was,
maybe something imported. Mo Ran takes a sip of his own tea almost as a way to prove it
was safe. Like getting a stray cat to trust, it took a bit for Chu Wanning to come around to his
tea.

Once his cup was finished, Chu Wanning found himself being tucked into bed. Mo Ran had
never done this for him. In fact, Chu Wanning doesn’t think anyone’s ever done this for him.
It didn’t take long for sleep to overtake him. Mercifully, no dreams came to visit his mind
that night. Chu Wanning didn’t want to dream or feel anything. Everything, even his own
body and skin reminded him of his baby. His daughter.

Chapter End Notes

Aha, it's been awhile!
So sorry for the hiatus. The past few chapters have been very difficult for me to write.
It's a kind of raw and personal thing that I struggle to process. When I started writing
this fic, it wasn't necessarily going to include this. But after some thinking I decided to.
It's a good way for me to process my personal experience while also coming to better
terms with it.
I've also just been really busy! First, I was punched at pride :(( and I've been going
through with pursuing the assault. Second, I got fired from my job a few days ago, very
suddenly and without warning. So, yeah, it's been kinda of rough lmao :/
But I feel great! And I finally got the energy and motivation to finish up this chapter, as
short as it may be.
So, once again, this is not beta'd, please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors, and
please be kind :) I adore comments and Constructive criticism. Thank you all so very
much for reading. Sorry in advance if this is OOC, but it was listed in the tags lmao :)
 Chapter 11
Chapter Notes

Hey guys
Sorry it's been a hot minute. I hit a horrible writers block and wrote this in one sitting.
So please forgive any grammar mistakes and such.
I just want to thank you all for being so understanding and kind with me the past few
chapters. It's a very tender subject for me and with all the stuff that's been happening to
me (like everything in last chapters notes) I've been super stressed.
I'm also starting my classes again soon so updates may be short or delayed more than
usual. I really hope that's not the case but if it doesn't happen, I apologise in advance.
I think this fic might be ending soon but I love that so many of you guys have been
along for the ride. All of your continued support, especially to my friends in the
chuwussy server as well as my regular commenters, have singlehandedly made me
continue this. If I never received any sort of comments or anything, I probably wouldn't
have even written a chapter 2.
But I'm just feeling sentimental sorry ya'll.

Anyway onto the actual notes:

I fucked around with the flower. I didn't really mention it at all in past chapters but it's
being broken. Yes, it's the power of love or something. Yes, I know it feels like kind of a
cop-out. But I like it and didn't want to figure out another way to get rid of it.
It's, uh, wilting??
And yes, I have fully switched over to 'Mo Ran' instead of 'Taxian-jun' as a way to show
that he's changing as a person.

Anyway! Enjoy the chapter my loves <3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Despite his dreamless sleep, Chu Wanning tossed and turned like a man possessed,
whimpering and whining into the blankets. Each time his restlessness got too concerning, Mo
Ran leaned forward from his place beside the bed to comfort his poor wife, whether it be
stroking his hair or humming a broken tune. He sat himself in an uncomfortable wooden
chair, the back of it digging relentlessly into him.

A poor young maid was sent to report that Yuanhe had still yet to stop crying. It had been
almost a full day away from either of her parents, something she had still not done, much less
gotten used to. He ordered the trembling maid to bring his daughter to him lest she suffer any
longer.

Within the hour, A’He was finally brought to her parents. Her face was red and blotchy, wet
from her still-falling tears. She let out a pitiful ‘diedie’ before curling into Mo Ran’s neck,
her dog toy in a death grip under her arm. Mo Ran couldn’t find it in himself to care about the
snot and tears getting on the collar of his nightrobes, focusing his energy more on comforting
his sobbing daughter than anything else.

Mo Ran paced for a rough half hour around his chambers, A’He still refusing to rest. The
poor thing was obviously fighting it, her eyelids drooping significantly. Her head
occasionally jerking up and a shaky sob were the only indicators that she was still awake. Mo
Ran found himself looking outside. The moon had long since fallen past its peak in the sky,
now starting to kiss the very tops of the mountain peaks.

Mo Ran found himself looking over at the bed. Surely A’He would sleep better next to her
mother, right?

Keeping his footsteps as quiet as possible, Mo Ran crept up to the least crowded part of the
bed. He leaned over, careful to not dip the bed too much. Trying not to jostle A’He too much,
she was finally put down as close to Chu Wanning as possible. The thick blankets enveloping
him prevented direct contact, something the near-unconscious toddler was all too aware of.
She curled into the blanket on Chu Wanning’s side, seeking his body heat in vain. The poor
thing fussed and shivered, reaching up for her father.

With no other choice, Mo Ran crawled into the bed on the other side of his daughter,
sandwiching her between him and Chu Wanning. Once cuddled up to her new personal
heater, A’He fell blissfully asleep.

Like mother, like daughter. Mo Ran found himself thinking. Chu Wanning would do the same
thing when he was cold. Obviously, the context had been different. Before, Chu Wanning had
been fucked unconscious, oblivious to the warmth seeking cat he seemed to become in his
sleep. And while A’He took after her father in many ways, it seemed that her sleeping was
more similar to her mother: curling shamelessly into the nearest heat source like a kitten tired
from a day of rolling around with a ball of yarn.

Their night ends with the little family wrapped up together, Mo Ran cuddled around his wife
and child, not sleeping well, but better than he had in years. Despite the recent tragedy of
losing their baby, they couldn’t forget about the one between them.

Mo Ran awoke to the relentless sun hitting his face. His arm was more asleep than his foggy
mind, tingling like little pinpricks. While a sleepy A’He drooled over his bicep, his palm was
cupping the warm cheek of his wife.

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Mo Ran couldn’t help but feel his heart become full, his
whole world being held on only one of his arms.

The quiet snores of his family filled the room, only being interrupted by A’He kicking one of
her little feet into his thigh. She was nearing her wakeup time but only nuzzled her face
further into her father’s arm. Mo Ran took this as his queue to look around his room to
determine the time of day. Based on the shadows cast from the east facing windows, he
 figured that it was just past the early morning, when the birds flew down from their nests and
into the garden in search of breakfast.

Carefully and reluctantly, moving his hand out from under Chu Wanning’s cheek proved to
be a slow process, and even slower when it came to A’He. Finally, after an embarrassing
amount of time, Mo Ran had left the bed, swiftly and quietly getting dressed and ready for
the day.

Looking at his bed, Mo Ran wished he was a better painter. The peaceful scene in front of
him was almost picturesque, despite its seemingly small and insignificant appearance in its
perfectly domestic state.

After a few minutes of just silent staring, Mo Ran grabbed his discarded nightrobes, tucking
them beside the soundly sleeping Chu Wanning. The emotional turmoil of the past day and a
half had taken its toll, not even the shuffling in the room awoke his exhausted wife. Mo Ran
pressed a hesitant and unusually chaste kiss to Chu Wanning’s forehead, his breath hitching
when his wife shifted in his sleep.

Scooping up the barely sleeping A’He, Mo Ran made sure she was tucked into his neck. He
knew that always made her sleepy, or in this case, stay asleep. He made sure to take one last
look at the still-sleeping Chu Wanning before he left to get A’He cleaned and dressed. Mo
Ran figured that he’d take her with him for the day.

Giving Chu Wanning a break was the least he could do.

Chapter End Notes

Hey guys
Sorry it's been a hot minute. I hit a horrible writers block and wrote this in one sitting.
So please forgive any grammar mistakes and such.
I just want to thank you all for being so understanding and kind with me the past few
chapters. It's a very tender subject for me and with all the stuff that's been happening to
me (like everything in last chapters notes) I've been super stressed.
I'm also starting my classes again soon so updates may be short or delayed more than
usual. I really hope that's not the case but if it doesn't happen, I apologise in advance.
I think this fic might be ending soon but I love that so many of you guys have been
along for the ride. All of your continued support, especially to my friends in the
chuwussy server as well as my regular commenters, have singlehandedly made me
continue this. If I never received any sort of comments or anything, I probably wouldn't
have even written a chapter 2.
But I'm just feeling sentimental sorry ya'll.

Anyway onto the actual notes:

I fucked around with the flower. I didn't really mention it at all in past chapters but it's
being broken. Yes, it's the power of love or something. Yes, I know it feels like kind of a
cop-out. But I like it and didn't want to figure out another way to get rid of it.
It's, uh, wilting??
And yes, I have fully switched over to 'Mo Ran' instead of 'Taxian-jun' as a way to show
that he's changing as a person.

Anyway! Enjoy the chapter my loves <3

 Chapter 12
Chapter Notes

Hi there,
I’m really sorry about the haitus guys. I honestly have no excuse. I’ve been in a severe
slump with a bad case of writers block. I’ve also just been busy to be honest. I’ve been
focusing more on my beta work and my education. This fic has always been close to my
heart. I wrote the outline with a dear friend of mine who I don’t get to swap ideas with
as much anymore. Love you if you’re reading this dude!
Once again, I’m really sorry for the months long haitus, I’ll be trying to do better in the
future. Thank you for the people who reached out to me asking about this fic, it honestly
encouraged me to continue writing.
Also one last note but to the person who messaged me on twt about a sequel to one of
my other fics, I am working on it, I promise. I have sadly also hit writers block with it :(
The original fic was a longer, expanded fic version of a mutual of mine so I had a sort of
source material. I know I promised before the end of January, but it may be later, sorry
love <3 I’ll definitely do my best to get it out tho!

Anyways!! I hope this chapter is enjoyed! My fics a whole year old now! Is there
anything you guys would like to see? I have a loose outline but I would love to get
others opinions! Thank you guys for reading as always! Love you guys!! <333

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Waking up to an empty bed wasn’t unusual for Chu Wanning, most of his mornings these past
few months were solitary, save for the fussy A’He who would climb out of her bed to wake
her mother up. Many times, a harsh kick to the bladder from the baby had woken him up
before A’He.

But there was no kick to wake Chu Wanning up this morning. No A’He either. In fact, it was
eerily silent, and now that he thought about it, these sheets felt different as well. Chu
Wanning stretched his legs out under the blanket he was tucked under. Definitely not his bed.

Oh, but definitely familiar. Memories of his cheek being harshly pressed into the soft silk of
the dark blue bedding came to as Chu Wanning pinched the blanket between his fingers. The
concentrated smell of Mo Ran surrounded him. It wasn’t bad. No, not at all. It was warm and
enveloping. It reminded Chu Wanning of when A’He was going through a phase a few
months before. The poor thing would cry herself to exhaustion for every nap and every night.
Chu Wanning had found himself close to pulling his own hair out until a spare robe of Mo
Ran’s was left on the edge of his bed after one of their… trysts.

Chu Wanning had originally planned to use it as an extra blanket for the toddler. Bringing it
close to her, A’He’s cries had quieted, her chubby hands reaching out for the robe. After that,
she couldn’t fall asleep without it, which required Chu Wanning to eventually ask for another
robe. Taxian-jun wasn’t too fond of his asking and preferred for him to beg instead.

Shaking his head, Chu Wanning pushed himself up onto his hip, tucking his legs closer to
him to stay warm. Judging by the sun's rays through the window, he surmised that it was
roughly mid-morning. A’He should be up by now, Chu Wanning found himself thinking. Oh,
but thinking hurt so much right now. His head was pounding, and his eyes and throat felt dry.
Looking around, he noticed a small alcove on the other side of the room. By the marks on the
wall, it looked like it could have originally had bookshelves or sword mounts, but they had
since been removed. The floor was bare, but clean, and the corners were free of cobwebs. It
was enclosed on three sides that made it easier to not be snuck up on. It looked so very
inviting to something inside the grieving mother.

Chu Wanning gathered the bedding and pillows around him and placed them on the ground in
the alcove. The floor was softened by extra bedding and furs he’d sourced from a spare
wardrobe, not to mention the familiar robes of Mo Ran that found their way among the soft
materials. Tucking the familiar robes and blankets around him once more, Chu Wanning
buried himself and allowed the tears to flow. Muffled, grief-laden wails escaped him, ugly
broken caterwauls of things, but Chu Wanning couldn’t find it within himself to care about
his appearance or pride. He allowed his body to eventually collapse and give out from
exhaustion after his tears had run dry and he could only produce pathetic whimpers.

Mo Ran had found him there a few hours later. He thankfully had the foresight to leave A’He
with Liu-gong beforehand. He looked down at Chu Wanning’s shivering and pale form,
curled up tightly in what had become a mess of fabrics. Mo Ran sighed heavily, loosening his
robes and crouching down to brush his finger against Chu Wanning’s exposed cheek. It was
still flushed red and had dried tears sticking to it, his face was in desperate need of a wash, or
at least a damp cloth. After a few minutes of assessment, Mo Ran determined that his poor
wife was in dire need of a good meal. He left the room quietly, careful not to disturb the
sleeping Chu Wanning, calling for a chess piece once the door was closed shut, blocking any
noise from coming in. He ordered for her to fetch foods good for sickness and replenishing
energy. It wasn’t an hour before the food was delivered, Mo Ran insisting on delivering it
inside personally.

Sitting on the floor beside the alcove, Mo Ran kept the meal warm. He didn’t worry about
dirtying his robes, he could always have them washed or wear his many other sets. Chu
Wanning’s form started to shift a bit more as he began to awake. He uncurled his position a
bit, peeking his head out from under the blanket above him. Mo Ran and Chu Wanning’s eyes
met, and both froze momentarily.

“This — I, brought you a meal,” Mo Ran cleared his throat awkwardly, not quite sure how to
handle this situation. Chu Wanning didn’t reply, only sniffed and tried to bury himself back in
the bedding. The audacity of this slut to ignore his food — Mo Ran had to stop himself from
his further thoughts.

“Don’t be like this,” It came out stern, not too soft, not too demanding, his wife required a
gentle hand in this moment. Chu Wanning visibly shifted under the blankets, his form
becoming smaller as he curled up once more. Mo Ran huffed, looking down at the food, he
wondered if bribing might work.

“I have your favourites,” He teased, moving to pull the bedding away from sheltering his
poor wife. There was a huff before the edge of the blanket covering Chu Wanning was
gripped tighter, not allowing for it to be removed. Mo Ran really had brought his favourites,
he promised. The savory tofu pudding with seaweed and dry shrimp looked sad and
neglected on the tray, the sugar syrup beside it being its only company. A neighbouring tray
held a pot with white peony tea, two teacups for them to share nestled beside it.

There was a mumble from under the bedding after a few minutes of silence. Chu Wanning’s
tight ball of a position had relaxed somewhat.

“What was that? I can’t hear you when you’re hidden away,” Mo Ran once again reached for
the blanket. He wasn’t given the chance to pull it away before a pale face and messy dark hair
poked out from the bedding. Oh, that face. Mo Ran could see it so very clearly now. The red
blotchiness from crying had yet to go away, and the tear tracks staining Chu Wanning’s
cheeks only highlighted his dark under eyes. And he must be so cold, only in one layer for
sleeping.

“Where is she?” It came out an angry huff. Chu Wanning looked like a mess but couldn’t find
it within himself to care. Mo Ran sighed, it felt like every conversation they had these days
was Chu Wanning demanding to know where A’He was.

“She’s safe with Liu-gong, don’t worry your pretty head about it.” Mo Ran pushed the food
and tea trays closer to the alcove full of bedding, robes, and of course, Chu Wanning.

“I want her here for her nap.” Mo Ran’s demanding wife declared, with no regard for what
was best for him at this time. He should be focusing on rest and replenishing his energy.
Cultivation could only help so much, and Chu Wanning couldn’t do it on his own anymore.

“Fine, she will be here for her nap, I promise,” Mo Ran looked pointedly at the trays between
them before looking back up at Chu Wanning. “She can have her nap here after you eat. Eat
your meal, drink your tea, and A’He will be at your side.”

“I am not hungry,” Chu Wanning made a self-conscious attempt to fix his hair, his voice
getting scratchier by the second.

“If you do not eat, then I will feed you.” Mo Ran threatened, fully expecting Chu Wanning to
begrudgingly dig into his favourite dish before him. But Chu Wanning did not, he only turned
up his nose and held his blanket tighter around himself.

“Alright, feeding it is. If you behave, this will be pleasant,” Mo Ran picked up the spoon
from the food tray and moved closer to the alcove. Chu Wanning tried to struggle as he was
manhandled into an easier position. Now leaning more into his husband's side, Chu Wanning
didn’t have to hold himself up anymore. It felt nice, the sweet pudding being fed to him as if
he were a small child. The tea was good too, it was earthy with a sweet and floral tone to it.
 Only about half of the bowl was gone before Chu Wanning asked to stop eating. It was a
quiet, defeated request, one that Mo Ran had no intention of honouring, insisting that Chu
Wanning must eat his fill to prevent further sickness. But he needed more than just food and
tea.

“No, it’s too much. I’ll be sick if I eat any more,” Chu Wanning pressed his face into Mo
Ran’s robes, breathing in deeply. But Mo Ran persisted, trying to get his poor wife to eat
more. He tried to remove Chu Wanning’s face from his robes, to get easier access to his
mouth, but Chu Wanning only pushed his hand holding the spoon away, effectively reigniting
Mo Ran’s anger.

“Fine then! Go hungry!” Mo Ran roared, abruptly standing and letting Chu Wanning tumble
forward. He kicked away both trays, shattering the bowls, teacups, as well as the teapot, all of
the contents spilling across the floor. He stared at the mess before him, both the meal
prepared as well as his wife, his shizun.

Chu Wanning’s sobbing had returned, only it was now very much subdued. It was quiet, like
it was a secret to be kept. Mo Ran stormed out in a hurry, slamming the chamber doors
behind him. Mo Ran couldn’t bear to look at the pathetic sight, it only angered him. Does
Chu Wanning think he’s the only one who lost someone? That he’s the only one who felt the
loss of their baby? That the grief was only his to feel? What a selfish bitch.

Chapter End Notes

Hi there,
I’m really sorry about the haitus guys. I honestly have no excuse. I’ve been in a severe
slump with a bad case of writers block. I’ve also just been busy to be honest. I’ve been
focusing more on my beta work and my education. This fic has always been close to my
heart. I wrote the outline with a dear friend of mine who I don’t get to swap ideas with
as much anymore. Love you if you’re reading this dude!
Once again, I’m really sorry for the months long haitus, I’ll be trying to do better in the
future. Thank you for the people who reached out to me asking about this fic, it honestly
encouraged me to continue writing.
Also one last note but to the person who messaged me on twt about a sequel to one of
my other fics, I am working on it, I promise. I have sadly also hit writers block with it :(
The original fic was a longer, expanded fic version of a mutual of mine so I had a sort of
source material. I know I promised before the end of January, but it may be later, sorry
love <3 I’ll definitely do my best to get it out tho!

Anyways!! I hope this chapter is enjoyed! My fics a whole year old now! Is there
anything you guys would like to see? I have a loose outline but I would love to get
others opinions! Thank you guys for reading as always! Love you guys!! <333
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!